03-10-26 - BR - TUE - Brit Etiquette Expert Says To Eat Cereal w/Spoon And Fork - Pro Bass Fisher Arrested For Weighting His Catch And Toledo Hosted A Bass Tourney Once - Woman Breaks Into Home Eats Fruity Pebbles

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98 KUPD)

Episode Summary — March 10, 2026

Main Theme or Purpose

The crew dives into the hilarity of etiquette—specifically, the viral claim by a British etiquette expert that “proper” cereal-eating requires both a spoon and fork. From there, they riff through stories about fishing scandals, wild crime, etiquette blunders, and off-the-wall internet oddities, all with their trademark irreverent banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. National Days & Ranch Dressing Mania

• National Pack Your Lunch Day & National Ranch Day:
  • Initial banter over the meaning of “pack a lunch” (is it encouragement to fist-fight or literally a lunch-packing day?)
  • Deep dive into America’s love/hate relationship with ranch dressing.
    • “Americans consume 100 million bottles of ranch dressing annually each, which is around 1.7 billion.” – Brady [05:20]
    • Holmberg confesses he dislikes most dressings:
      • “I like lettuce. I’m one of those weird—I’m like a rabbit. I think lettuce tastes great.” – Holmberg [06:13]

2. Oddball Fun Facts

• Superman’s creators sold the character for $130 in 1930.
• Jeopardy contestants stand on platforms to look the same height.
• Reno, NV, is actually west of Los Angeles—a fact learned in Holmberg’s 4th grade (“we were all morons... oh, she changed the planet!” – Holmberg [09:13])

3. British Etiquette Expert on Cereal

• William Hansen, a UK etiquette guru, sparked viral debate by advocating eating cereal with a spoon (dominant hand) and fork (non-dominant, to guide flakes).
  • The guys are incredulous:
    • “How sloppy are you eating your cereal?” – Corey [10:37]
    • “You eat cereal like a pig. Because you’re usually alone. It’s not an endeavor you do with other people. When’s the last time everybody sat down… ‘Pass the Cap’n Crunch’?” – Holmberg [10:41]
    • Brady admits: “I’ve been eating it that way for years.” [20:15]
    • Holmberg skeptically: “That dude is goofing on us… He’s got us all snowed.” [20:09]
  • Hansen pops up with etiquette facts throughout (audio clips and parodies by the team—see Notable Quotes below).

4. Pro Bass Fishing Scandal

• News report: Pro fisherman Curtis Lee Daniels was arrested for stuffing lead weights in fish at a Texas tournament, chasing a $10,000 prize.
  • Debate over whether cheating had already been a criminal charge.
  • Toledo shares a memory: He once broadcast a bass tournament live from the Arkansas River, leading to jokes about the dullness of live “radio fishing”:
    • “Broadcasting live radio fishing. I’m Dick Toledo. …Just broadcast fishing. There’s no talking at all, you dumbass.” – Holmberg [14:11]

5. Crime: Fruity Pebble Intruder

• “Woman in Missouri breaks into a home, eats Fruity Pebbles with a fork, and pets the family dog.” [18:09]
  • The hosts lampoon the police’s observational skills:
    • “The lady covered in Fruity Pebbles standing in a house she doesn’t own, you think? Maybe inebriated. Wow. You should be the captain.” – Holmberg [19:14]
  • Turns out she "drank a bottle of marijuana," mistook the house for a fair, and was thoroughly confused.

6. Banter: Etiquette, Parties, and Huggers

• "Irish Goodbye” Debate:
  • 33% say it's rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the host; the guys agree you should try, especially for smaller gatherings (~10 people). [16:58]
• Huggers:
  • The etiquette expert reappears: “I’m a hugger.”
  • Holmberg jokes: “I don’t care if you’re a hugger. I’m not …especially hating that when a filthy woman heads my direction with her arms open, expecting contact.” [36:14]

7. Trending Oddities & Internet Weirdness

• Viral Etiquette Contents:
  • William Hansen gives ongoing proper dining advice—how to hold cutlery, cheese timing in France, or even "proper" banana consumption. The team parodies with increasingly absurd and bawdy scenarios.
  • “You know, you can tell which country you’re in based on when you’re eating your cheese. In France, they eat cheese before the dessert event.” – William Hansen [20:49]
• Bizarre Videos:
  • From people opening beer bottles with their butts to odd party tricks, the crew offers color commentary (with some explicit turns—be warned).
• Bern, Switzerland Coat of Arms:
  • News: Their official bear symbol will keep its "pronounced wiener," drawing peals of laughter and a discussion comparing bear and dog anatomy. [24:00]
• Viral news/humor:
  • Man legally changes name to "Literally Anybody Else" to run for mayor in Texas. [25:50]
  • Chatter about etiquette around eating bananas and other objects—escalating to exaggeration and innuendo.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Ranch Dressing:

  • “It’s okay with wings. Occasionally pizza. But I don’t like—I see people slather. I saw a salad last night, blue cheese. I’m like, why even bother?” – Holmberg [05:56]

• On Cereal Etiquette Expert:

  • “Then you use a spoon and a fork…so flakes don’t splash or escape the bowl.” – Brady (quoting Hansen) [09:57]
  • “Is this—what are you trying to give me? How gay can this get?” – Holmberg [20:02]
  • “If you call it Corned Flakes…” – Corey [20:18]
  • “All right, twinkle toes. I eat my Fruity Pebbles with a shovel.” – Holmberg [20:43]

• On Hugging:

  • “I was gonna hug on first meeting. I don’t care if you’re a hugger. I’m not.” – Holmberg [35:51]
  • “I always offer a hand…and then two hands.” – Holmberg [35:55]
  • “So you don’t like when people say ‘I’m a hugger’?” – Corey
    “No, I think we just all need to … agree that the etiquette is, when someone says that to you, you go, ‘Well, I’m not.’” – William Hansen [36:08]

• On Crime:

  • “The police arrived, determined that Tiara was on something. Yeah. No.” – Brady [19:02]
  • “She later told them she consumed a bottle of marijuana.” – Brady [19:34]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Ranch Dressing & Salads: 05:20–06:38
• Fun Facts Blitz: 06:38–09:18
• Cereal Etiquette Debate: 09:57–11:17; 19:43–21:10
• Fishing Scandal & Live Radio Fishing Memories: 11:17–14:49
• Poll on Party Exits: 16:27–17:50
• Fruity Pebbles Intruder Story: 18:09–19:43
• British Etiquette Expert Banter & Audio Clips: 19:43–22:48, 25:23–21:24, 35:48–36:14
• Bern Coat of Arms Discussion: 24:00–24:21
• Name Change for Mayor (Literally Anybody Else): 25:50–26:39
• Unhinged Viral Video Commentary: 32:22–34:54
• Hugging & More Etiquette Oddities: 35:48–36:14
• Final Banter and Wind Down: 36:14–End

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Tone & Delivery

• The episode is packed with irreverent, quick-witted banter and layered jokes—often crude, always energetic.
• The hosts veer smoothly between topical stories and elaborate comedic riffs, lampooning etiquette, Middle America, and each other.
• The chemistry is self-deprecating and delightfully sarcastic, especially when discussing anything highbrow or “proper.”

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For New Listeners

If you missed the episode:

• Expect absurd takes on etiquette, America’s quirks, and viral internet phenomena.
• The show’s strength isn’t just in the headlines—it’s the crew’s freestyle comedic energy and ability to turn any topic into an ongoing bit.
• From using a spoon and fork to eat cereal to legally changing your name to "Literally Anybody Else" or the Bern bear’s “famous” anatomy, nothing is too weird—or too trivial—for a roast.
• The podcast is not for the easily offended, but if you love freewheeling, unfiltered morning radio humor, you’ll feel right at home.

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Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You know when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in Cityscape, you've got Stand Up Live and Eastside. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. The Core Institute.com pack still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Christopher Maham, the winner of the Metallica grand prize, emailed, said, I was in shock yesterday when I won. I was going to dinner. Oh, and going to dinner with you sounds great, John. I was just worried I'm going to be weird. I told you, I'm an engineer, so I'm a nerd. I'm socially awkward, going to get along great, Christopher, Trust me. I'm socially awkward in the opposite direction. I make everything uncomfortable. I'm just that. And you got jackasses like this, and it's a hard point to argue. What's that for a guy who keeps telling everybody you're not a Jew? How come just mentioning your name gets everyone a discount? All right, you know, that's a good point, Josh. No, it isn't. It's because I care about you guys. Oh, is that what you're going with? Okay, we talk about that when I sit like, hey, look, great product and everything else. I'm like, listeners love a deal. Put Holmberg in the promo code. Save yourself another blah, blah, blah, save, see, save. That's good, though. Why is that a bad thing? It's like when black people get mad when everybody says they've got big dicks. That's not a bad story. And I'm not Jewish. I'm a poor man's Howard Stern. That's where that comes from. I don't really practice, but I do save. And like Jesus, I save. Those headphones fit over your YA today? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, that holds them. Holds it, holds it on. Hilarious, jackass.

[Brady Bogan]

We can add that to the head.

[John Holmberg]

No, we don't have to add that to that. You don't have to do that. Although it's a good idea for Jewish broadcasters to have a yarmulke on the headphone. But I don't think you can take it off because then God can see the top of your head. And he doesn't care about childhood cancer or fixing any of that. But he can't stand it when the top of your head's showing because you're showing him up. He's got some insecurities. This dude you guys worship. He'll take the hat off. It is disrespectful to the Lord. Baby cancer, any other stuff to do cares about top of your head, don't question them. Okay, that seems silly. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by all pro shade.com all pro shade. Keep you out of that sunshine that's headed our way. It is. It is flying at us right now. It is a train on a track directly aimed at Phoenix. And we all know it's coming. If you've got backyard space that needs shading or you got a window that's wide open to it, east west exposure in the sun gets you in the morning and crushes you at night. Get these all pro Shade guys out to your house and get that fixed. Indoor outdoor living is the way to be. And these shades they put up can drop the temperature up to 20 degrees. That's how great they are and how well made and manufactured they are. They can actually change the temperature you're back space and make it a livable area. Especially if you have it out there all day and you want to sit out there in the evening. Check it all out. All pro shade.com Brady reported.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Tuesday morning to Phoenix. Hello world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Big day today. You got national pack your lunch day and national ranch day.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a bro move you're saying? Pack a lunch, bro?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. If you want to get into a fight, pack a lunch.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that What? I don't mean to bring up touchy subjects, but isn't that what that lady who got shot in Minnesota said?

[Brady Bogan]

Pack your lunch.

[John Holmberg]

And she said to pack a lunch, big boy. It's going to be an friend that was filming the whole thing before she tried to run that cop over and then he shot her. Pack a lot.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I think she.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't say it. It was the other one.

[Brady Bogan]

It was her.

[John Holmberg]

It was the mean lesbian that was walking around the outside of the car and then she. Pack a lunch, big boy. So is that the kind of day it is or is it literally just pack your lunch day. Pack your lunch. Okay. It says like PB and J. Larry Day, Larry McFeely Day, Crustless PB and JS and seven Fritos.

[Brady Bogan]

Americans consume 100 million bottles of ranch dressing annually each, which is around 1.7 billion. No, that's 30% say they love ranch dress dressing. 35% like it. 18% don't have an opinion. 7% disliking.

[John Holmberg]

It's okay. I don't get all the hubbub. I don't get pouring it all over lettuce that.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's just say 15 because 8% hate it. I'm gonna put that all on a 1. 15. Don't like ranch.

[John Holmberg]

It's okay with wings. Occasionally pizza. But I don't like. I see people slather. I saw a salad last night, blue cheese. I'm like, why even bother? Yeah, it was ridiculous amount of glop on there. So do you do with your salads then dry? Oh, I don't like dressing on the side. I don't even do that. And I just don't like dressing. I like lettuce. I'm one of those weird. I'm like a rabbit. I think lettuce tastes great.

[Corey]

Get the wedge salad and you just take chunks off.

[John Holmberg]

I would. I don't do it as much as I used to. Cut a head of lettuce in half, salt it and eat. I love lettuce. I think lettuce is great. Broccoli, Same thing. Get me on some. I get a whole thing of that. I eat it like a big Apple. I don't like dipping in ranch.

[Brady Bogan]

Couple of basis fun facts. Writer Jerry Siegel and artist Joe Schuster were the creators of Superman, and they sold the rights to the character for $130 in 1930.

[John Holmberg]

All those dumb bass.

[Brady Bogan]

Around $3,000. Back then, dumb contestants on Jeopardy. All stand on platforms so they keep them at the same height. That way the camera doesn't have to always adjust.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. You always notice that. And there's a girl, and she's up there, and you can see, like most of her. Like, she's short, but you can see her from the waist up. And then some dude's shoulders shrink him down. Just keep everybody normal.

[Brady Bogan]

Richard Gere went to the University of Massachusetts Amherst for free while on a gymnastics scholarship. He majored in philosophy, but dropped out after two years to pursue acting.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Because you were wasting your parents money. I can top that. I actually started to major in philosophy at a community college. You were.

[Corey]

Do you major?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, but that was the thing I started to say. I'm like, this is the direction I'm gonna go. And my dad looked at me like, philosophy. I think that's where we're gonna take your money. We're gonna take. That's where I'm taking my talents to the South Beach. And he's like, I'm not paying for big college for philosophy. That's just thinking, I'm not paying for that. He wasn't wrong. But I tried it for a year and a half. I loved it. But I realized somewhere along the line, they teach you the entire time in philosophy not to listen to anybody. Right. Essentially, it's. It's form your opinions thusly and read and know what other philosophers say and expound on that. But it isn't your own thoughts. It is all your own thoughts. It is your own individual thoughts on a thing. And they tell you, you know, books can. Books can tell you what someone else said, but you choose what you read. So I can do that without them. It's no point in having a philosophy teacher because he just tells you what other people are. You can do that yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

Reno, Nevada is actually west of Los Angeles.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Because of the way that California curves.

[John Holmberg]

I learned that in Abby Louise class in fourth grade. Osuna elementary School. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

They put up the map.

[Corey]

They taught you where Vegas was in fourth grade?

[John Holmberg]

No. Reno. Oh, Reno. They teach you where? Reno. Maybe it resonated with me because I had a future in Nevada, but I remember her drawing that line. And the whole class was like, oh, because we're all dumb fourth graders. Oh, she changed the planet. How you do that? How's that a thing? It's like. Well, it's just because it's kind of California moves in. Yeah. But it's next to it.

[Corey]

I love the Brian Regan class.

[John Holmberg]

We were all fourth grade morons. She made that line. And then like, I remember there was a kid in the class, John Collins. And now as an adult, I realize how his parents were alcoholics. They had to be. And he went up and he tried to do the line and he couldn't because she fooled us. And she put the map up flat. And you try to draw the line. It doesn't work. And then she's like, you have to have it on the curve. Like, oh, oh, I'm gonna try that again. My line keeps running into Mexico. It's my length. Go to Mexico. Your line goes to the ocean. Because you're all idiots.

[Brady Bogan]

Evidently, we've been. We've been eating cereal wrong our whole lives. An etiquette expert by the name of William Hansen. So first of all, yeah, you add milk of your choice to the cereal. Then you use a spoon and a fork. You put the spoon in your dominant hand and the fork on the non dominant hand. When you eat cereal. No, you don't. And he gives you example. He shows you how to no. What he says. Then the just use chopstick fork gently pushes the cereal onto the spoon so flakes don't splash or escape the bowl.

[Corey]

How sloppy are you eating your cereal?

[John Holmberg]

Calm down.

[Corey]

Making splashes.

[John Holmberg]

And by the way, where are you eating cereal? In the, like high and mighty rooms of, you know, of small. My bowl of honey nut Cheerios with the rest of the loyals that I eat cereal with every morning. Hello, royals. You eat cereal like a pig. Because you're usually alone. It's not an endeavor you do with other people. When's the last time everybody sat down, had a bowl of cereal with family? Pass the Captain Crunch.

[Brady Bogan]

It's been a while.

[John Holmberg]

It's been a while. Has it ever been a thing? And it's, I don't have a bowl of cereal, boy. It just. It's not a deal.

[Brady Bogan]

We got a pro bass fisherman that's being arrested. There was a pro tournament in Texas on Sunday and Curtis Lee Daniels was busted because he added weights.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's already been arrested. Yeah, I was led to believe that his arrest was upcoming.

[Brady Bogan]

Put some lead weights in the fish during weigh in. The winner was getting $10,000 prize. He's charged with third degree felony. He's on a $20,000 bond.

[John Holmberg]

Show me your fish. Put a thumb in his mouth. I'm a retard. And a sing about this.

[Corey]

I broadcast live at the bass tournament.

[John Holmberg]

That did. Oh, you did? Oh, I thought that song did. I'm like, oh, my God, you watched the bass tournament. There's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] well,

[Corey]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness, and I am thrilled to shill away from my friends at Turf Monsters. Turf Monsters doesn't just do turf either. They design everything about how you want to live. Sports, golf, pets, entertainment, pergolas, pool stuff, whatever you want. And the quality is incredible. It looks real. That grass. It drains perfectly. There's basically no maintenance, no mud, no grass. A backyard you actually enjoy. If you thought about upgrading your outdoor space, start right there@turf monst az.com make your backyard the best room in the house. Check it out. Turf Monsters AZ.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Corey]

Yeah, I had to call in and give give live updates out.

[John Holmberg]

You had a remote from oh my

[Corey]

God on the Arkansas River.

[Brady Bogan]

Awesome.

[John Holmberg]

No. Just when I thought you couldn't be more boring.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at that lunker right there.

[John Holmberg]

Broadcasting live radio fishing. I'm Dick Toledo. The Arkansas Bobs were all over that. You know what?

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the Arkansas Bob have their own

[Corey]

code when they speak.

[John Holmberg]

It's exactly what radio guys love. Don't touch. That's not saying it. You're talking too much. We'll just broadcast fishing. There's no talking at all, you dumbass. What do you mean I'm Talking too much. It's the only thing this job has.

[Corey]

Top weight this hour is Billy Bob Batson.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he just came in with a seven and a half pounder. That's gonna be tough to beat for daily best.

[Corey]

That's exactly what you say. If you can't beat seven and a half pounds, you may as well stay

[Brady Bogan]

out on the river.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll be right back. After I kill myself. No good. Another guy coming at me with a stringer

[Corey]

because they have to make it by the top of the hour.

[John Holmberg]

He's got his limit, folks. He's at 10. Let's measure him up. Pound and a half. You should have thrown that one back.

[Corey]

What were you thinking?

[John Holmberg]

Anyway? I've got a terrible depression. I'm gonna drink myself to sleep for probably the rest of the month. Have a great night, everybody.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

What was it called? The Arkansas. I have to look it up. Incest fest.

[Corey]

I think it was like the Arkansas State bass.

[Brady Bogan]

Not the Ozark Invitation Championships.

[Corey]

No, it wasn't in the Ozarks. It was in Little Rock.

[John Holmberg]

It was on the Arkansas River.

[Corey]

Whichever one goes through there.

[John Holmberg]

Both

[Brady Bogan]

in a poll about Kat should do.

[John Holmberg]

Fishing can't be worse than women's basketball or whatever horrible college baseball games. Corey credit.

[Corey]

He could make it sound good.

[John Holmberg]

No, he can't. He tries. What are you talking about? Corey just mentions that it's a thing and we all go, oh, I'm sorry you have to do that. Nau. Women's basketball. Corey, you listen to. Yeah, we got a good audience for it. No, you don't. Nobody's tuning into AM radio at night for lumberjack. Lady lumberjacks. Basketball. Are they called the lady lumberjacks? Wouldn't it be the lumberjills? That's a good point. Lady jacks.

[Brady Bogan]

Lady jacks.

[Corey]

Isn't the jack just jacking around? Jacking the wood around?

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about?

[Corey]

I thought that was a term. Jacking the wood around or jacking.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's a. That's a derogatory term somewhere.

[Brady Bogan]

Or it's everyone jacks their wood.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What you're talk. All right, both of you, knock it off.

[Corey]

That's not where I was going. God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

Look how proud he is of him. He's over there strutting while he's sitting. I move on. No, you can't. Cuz you. We'd love for you to move on from stuff like that.

[Brady Bogan]

In a poll, 33% of the people say it's rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the host. 16% said it's not rude. 52% think it depends on how big the party is.

[John Holmberg]

The ghost, the host of the party. You always say goodbye to the host. Brady does.

[Brady Bogan]

They said, what do you mean?

[Corey]

He goes out all the time.

[Brady Bogan]

A huge party. Most people were saying, no, that's okay

[John Holmberg]

to do the Irish goodbye, or you find the host. You decent people find the host and you leave.

[Brady Bogan]

But if it's a 10, they said, what is a comfortable number where you. You need to say goodbye to the host. They're saying 10 people.

[Corey]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, if you're getting up from your board game and you just leave, that's kind of rude.

[John Holmberg]

But it's rude to leave someone's home and not go to home.

[Brady Bogan]

There's 500 people there.

[John Holmberg]

It's a pretty big house.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And second, you should find the host and thank them for hosting.

[Corey]

Boy, you sure can hear someone won money this morning in the way that they're speaking. Congrats on your gambling. I can really hear it in your voice. Great win, Ace. We all get it.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Bitch better have my money.

[Brady Bogan]

Got a woman in Missouri named Tiara Smith. She was arrested last week after she broke into a home and started eating Fruity Pebbles in the kitchen. The family was at home at the time. And woman says her son smelled something burning, so he walked downstairs to the kitchen. That's when he saw the strange lady eating Fruity Pebbles with a fork and petting the family dog. She had a fork in it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's good.

[Brady Bogan]

The oven was also on, so she was. She's cracking the army. His son ran and told his mom she called 911. The mother also confronted Tiara and demanded that she clean up the mess she made. That seems like an odd request, but Fruity Pebbles and milk were scattered everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

Wanted to just let the crack horse day and clean up.

[Brady Bogan]

The police arrived, determined that Tierra was on something. Yeah. No.

[John Holmberg]

Good job, cops. Wow. Detective Sarah on the case.

[Brady Bogan]

She later told them she consumed a bottle of marijuana.

[John Holmberg]

Say, Chief, I think this intruder is probably on some sort of narcotic. Wow. You don't say? Sarah, the lady covered in Fruity Pebbles standing in a house she doesn't own, you think? Maybe inebriated. Wow. You should be the captain. Thanks, Chief. I was being facetious. I'll look that up on my way home, Chief. Oh, God.

[Corey]

Good luck spelling it.

[Brady Bogan]

And after drinking her bottle of marijuana, she said she was walking around and confused. Mistook the house for a fair.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that'll happen. It's good. That's good.

[William Hansen]

Weed.

[John Holmberg]

That's all that. Is this dude the one eating with the fork?

[Corey]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

This is the cereal.

[William Hansen]

First of all, add choice.

[Brady Bogan]

Splendid.

[William Hansen]

Going for semi. And then with a spoon held in your dominant hand, you will eat. Now, it's not soup, so you don't need to.

[John Holmberg]

Is this. What are you trying to give me? How gay can this get?

[William Hansen]

To push some Corned Flakes onto your spoon.

[John Holmberg]

He's kidding. There's no way. This guy's an asshole. He's got us all snowed. That is not real. That dude is goofing on us.

[Brady Bogan]

I've been eating it that way for years.

[Corey]

Let's check out his page.

[John Holmberg]

If you call it Corned Flakes.

[Corey]

A teacup and saucer in a world of mugs.

[William Hansen]

Did you know that it's actually very bad manners to correct other people's etiquette in front of other people? It's much better instead to lead by example, even if that is just a touch passive aggressive.

[John Holmberg]

Did you know have fun at the ballet.

[Brady Bogan]

The opera. He's an opera.

[John Holmberg]

All right, twinkle toes. I eat my fruity pebbles with a shovel.

[William Hansen]

You know, you can tell which country you're in based on when you're eating your cheese. In France, they will eat their cheese before the dessert event. All right.

[John Holmberg]

You're the weirdest dude on the planet.

[Brady Bogan]

So cultured.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. So cultured.

[Corey]

Followed by Brady Bogan.

[John Holmberg]

Is he?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[Corey]

Oh, Will be now.

[John Holmberg]

Of course he will. They find out how to eat cereal with a fork. You know, it's rude to talk about someone else's etiquette right before I implode my boyfriend's bottom. I usually tell him that smells a little off. It seems it's soured back there.

[William Hansen]

Trevor, from an etiquette point of view, is having the cutlery hanging off the plate with the handles touching the table. Because the rule for any type of eating implement is no partial.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, are we gay? You can check him out. Just went cake by the ocean together.

[Corey]

William Hanson is his name.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes when I eat chicken, I like to eat it with my face down, my hands behind my back, like I'm in a contest. What? Yes. I call it gobbling the cock.

[Brady Bogan]

Four million followers.

[John Holmberg]

It's a delicious chicken trick I use. It's wonderful. You don't. Oh, try it with me. Tie my hands behind my back, put a delicious rooster in front of me and watch me go down on it.

[Corey]

What's the pillow for?

[John Holmberg]

Comfort.

[William Hansen]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Afterwards, I like to have a nice cigarette.

[Corey]

You don't seem like A smoker?

[John Holmberg]

No. Well, I love a. That's for sure. He doesn't call him cigarettes. That's right. Nothing better than having a big white in my mouth after the ballet. Oh, after we go to the ballet, I'm like, oh, I want to light up a socket.

[Brady Bogan]

But first.

[John Holmberg]

But first, I have to bury my face in this rooster. Check into my website for more tips. Ooh, tips. I'm bawdrick.

[Corey]

Another texter. Holmberg, please play some slots today.

[John Holmberg]

I am looking forward to tomorrow's show. Ooh, yes. Every time I win 100,000 DOL. You win in comedy, money makes me funnier. It's a dopamine patch.

[Corey]

Was Larry your mush trying to get you to stop all?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, no. I mean, he hit me. I sent a picture of a huge, like, I got to a number last night, like, look. And there's like, for God's sake, stop. Don't you know when you just knock it off? The actual text was so fearful of me needing, like, help. Said, john, you gotta stop. That's enough. Enough. Collect your winnings and go to bed. Please, God. Yeah. And then he went on and on. Oh, how do you eat your tube steak, Brady?

[Larry McFeely]

I do at home.

[Brady Bogan]

And burn Switzerland. The government ruled that their Bernese coat of arms, the red bare penis, will remain on the coat of arms.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, thank God. Finally we get some answers.

[Brady Bogan]

Pull it up.

[John Holmberg]

It is pretty pronounced wiener.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I mean, you know, good for like a dog penis kind of. I didn't know if the bear. The bear had the red lipstick like a dog, but guess it does.

[John Holmberg]

Something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] the Renaissance Festival is back. Weekends now through March 29th. Be ready to have a great time. Amazing adventure awaits the entire family. New shows, shopping, jousting, nights, non stop feasting. Leave your cares behind. Happiness reigns at the Renaissance Renaissance Festival. It's fun and affordable. Visit now through March 29th. Discount tickets available at Bash's and Food City or online at arizona.renfestinfo.com presented by Delta Air Lines bashers Food City, Pepsi, Budweiser and Guinness. Huzzah.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely, and I'm trying to decide where to have my next excellent adventure. Maybe I should just conquer every bagel shop in the Valley. Well, the good news is it's Toyota's ready, set go sales event at your Valley Toyota dealer, so wherever I end up, I'll be getting there in style. Maybe a Camry for that smooth desert cru. Tacoma for off road exploring or a tundra to haul my adventure gear, which is currently just a bunch of snacks. Whatever your adventure looks like this year. Now it's time to make your move. Visit your valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota let's go places.

[Brady Bogan]

There's this dude who'll pull up the coat of arms there. But there's a guy in Texas. He's running for mayor of North Richland Hills. 37 years old. He changed his name to literally anybody else and now he's running for mayor. The current Mayor's Mayor Jack McCarty. He says he initially decided to do it because McCarty was going to run unopposed and some locals haven't. They don't approve of him. So literally is isn't planning on fundraising or spending much money kind of a gimmick. But he did run for president. Didn't get too many hits on that. But the mayor. The run for mayor might work out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. People are asking if there's a if that dude's eating a banana on his website. Find him.

[Corey]

I haven't found that one, but I'll

[John Holmberg]

look at it properly. Peel and digest a banana. Ooh, Watch me eat this. Slowly. Gulp. Yes. Don't use your teeth right away. Try to gum it off. Or turn your lips inward. I said inward. Give it a little suck and moisten it up. It'll soften in your mouth. Love a good banana. Why would he even have that? If you even saw somebody trying to eat cereal with a fork and spoon. Stab them with the fork.

[Brady Bogan]

Hang on.

[Corey]

This is one.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the burn coat of arms.

[John Holmberg]

Just greener on there.

[William Hansen]

By the Terrence Higgins Trust, commissioned by the Department for Health and Social Care. Anyone in England this week can order guidance with him. Who looks like a normal man from freetesting HIV.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez. I wasn't wrong.

[William Hansen]

5,000 people can be living with HIV and not know it. Which is why HIV testing is.

[John Holmberg]

So you catch HIV, eat cereal. The fork. You're right.

[Brady Bogan]

I just saw. I just saw briefly the handle on

[John Holmberg]

the nothing brief about that. That was 10 minutes ago. How long was that gonna last?

[Corey]

Let me put it back up there. He broke his concentration.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought he was doing something else.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're. This is your thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that was. I. I don't have any Brady videos.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. That's what we needed to hear. Then you started to stare at him like, is he gonna say anything? A prick test. I saw that. Clean that part again. Listen to what I call an HIV test.

[William Hansen]

About ready to demonstrate from Amazon. Super drunk or many.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna do it. He's gonna do a live video HIV test right there on his swab.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he said it was a prick test. I heard it. Yeah. Play that again.

[William Hansen]

Hello. This week is National HIV Testing Week, a campaign led by the Terrence Higgins Trust, commissioned by the Department for Health and Social Care. Anyone in England this week can order a free HIV testing kit from Freetesting HIV. Over 5,000 people can be living with HIV and not know it, which is why HIV testing is so important. It's free, quick, easy, and most importantly, confidential. These are the free testing kits you can get from freetesting hiv. They're the blood finger prick test, however.

[John Holmberg]

I just wanted to hear him say it.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't put it on your tongue.

[John Holmberg]

Really have to take the test. It's not the only time, I guess. Ever said finger prick in the same sentence. Ah, that's good stuff. Bert, what do you got? Apparently, we have a video of Justin's place. This is what happened. Oh, the girl Hannah, leaving. Justin's okay. Oh, Jesus. His penis has, like, octopus arms on it. What is that? Oh, so he's taken his uncircumcised penis and he's flowered it. Yeah, he's peeled. He's peeled it back like a banana. Yes, Brett. It's very good, Brett. I heard Brady earlier. Oh, good Lord. What's happening in this video? I don't want to.

[Corey]

Sex and traffic.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it sounds like they're on the freeway. He's just having sex with that weird penis. It's national pack your lunch day. I know. Brady said that earlier. And what you do there when you pack your lunch is take warm fudge and gently rub your finger, press it into the hole you call your mouth. And they know how much you love war. So here's a couple war starring Donald Trump tonight on Fox. War. Ooh, big explosion back. Is that Tehran?

[Brady Bogan]

Where are we?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think so.

[Brady Bogan]

Rush hour.

[John Holmberg]

It can't be Tehran because there's Internet. They wouldn't have gotten this video out. This is a phone video. This might be, like, Bahrain or maybe even Riyadh. Oh, it's a good blow. Oh, they're coming in hot. Listen to that. Are we enemies with this group? Whoever we're watching get blown up. Am I happy or sad about this? I need more info. It looks like Chandler. Are people still just dropping, driving around? They can go to dinner. Oh, there's a great one. You don't even see him coming from the Sky. Another great moment. I don't know where this is, Brett, but hopefully it's a lot of dead Iranians under that fire. And if it's one of our friends, we'll get him. Don't worry.

[William Hansen]

What?

[John Holmberg]

How many? We've got till Wednesday, then we're gonna get you.

[Brady Bogan]

How about this?

[John Holmberg]

Some extreme Nerfing for you guys. Got his penis. What in the world? He's shooting needles into his penis. And it's got a. In the urethra to keep it upright. Oh, man. That noise is a Nerf gun with a needle on the end of the Nerf part. And he's just shooting it all the way through. What isn't an erect penis. It's propped up with. Oh, man. He's just. Oh, this is like the worst episode, Gilligan's island, when the headhunters would come with those blow darts. What's he got in the top? It's a thing to keep it straight. He's got, like, a rebar in the urethra to keep it. Oh, look at the blood pouring down as he's loading the Nerf gun again with another hypodermic needle and nerf bit. And he's gonna shut. He's gonna shoot it from the side this time. Point blank. Man, that's like seven needles. How many Nerf bullets does he have? There's another one's coming at us.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it the proper etiquette he's using?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yes. Yes, it is shooting you, John Thomas. Yeah, you'll notice that he's not screaming like a banshee. He's just enjoying his afternoon abusing his genitalia. And I want him grateful. It's a nice neighborhood for you. All right, we're at a ring camera. It says, this man wiped poop on my brother's brick wall, and they caught him on the ring. Oh, he licked his hand for. Oh, he's a doordash guy dropping off. And he reached, but he doesn't touch the food.

[Brady Bogan]

But he has.

[John Holmberg]

He reaches in and he stink palms his hand and he puts it on the wall. Oh, Christ on a bicycle.

[Brady Bogan]

Here's your curry,

[John Holmberg]

man. And here's a fun party trick for you. There's a girl's nice girl's great butt. Guy puts a Mick Ultra in the crack of this beautiful ass, and she takes the top off of it. That. I want to see that again. All right, that is. Not only is that a great butt, and it is really good. She squeezes her butt cheeks together and takes the cap off of a Mick Ultra. I think I speak for all of us when I say, will you marry me? Holy cow. There's another fun party trick for you. The girl's got a glass. Proves that. Even an 8 ounce glass on her tongue, in her mouth. Back. She is deep throating the entire glass from underneath. It's got a drink in it. She shoves the plastic glass in her mouth all the way. Apex predator of the American Wow. She is now spitting out the liquid that was in the cup. And she swallowed the cup. What just happened?

[Brady Bogan]

Lady cobra.

[John Holmberg]

She just ate a plastic cup. Yeah. Wow. Brett, you're loaded up. Here's a girl with her top off, jiggling her cans and her butts in a mirror behind her. I don't know what exactly she's bouncing about for, but I'm sure we're about to find out. Oh, she's got a pee pee. Damn it. She's got a wiener. Why is it doing what it's doing?

[Brady Bogan]

And get it.

[John Holmberg]

I would have had a thousand guesses. I'd have missed all of them. And we'll just end. Show me that again. That's a woman I could eat. Etiquette. And we'll just end with this one. Oh, there's a woman on there. Some Adidas tennis shoes stomping on a guy's balls. Oh, my God. That noise you hear is her foot squashing his genitals into a plank.

[Corey]

It's like a cornhole board.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and he's got his wiener and his testimony through the hole. And she's just.

[Brady Bogan]

It's called the. The Cap Stomp.

[John Holmberg]

Why won't they break? Oh, they're so resilient. Oh, my God. That's about all I got. Look at those little bastards. They were springing back to life. I got you, buddy. Clearly, this is an attack. And we're not doing this voluntarily. Right? No balls. I did this on purpose.

[Brady Bogan]

We like it.

[John Holmberg]

One of us does. Ooh, Rebel. Dre. Oh, I like it when your body. Oh, there he is again. Sorry. Go. What'd he say? Oh. Start it over. Can you do it? You're not plugged in. Yeah, not at mine. You gotta unmute. Yeah, you gotta unmute, dummy.

[William Hansen]

Hey, I'm a hugger. As they go to greet you.

[John Holmberg]

Hugger. Hugger.

[William Hansen]

I was gonna hug on first meeting. I don't care if you're a hugger. I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

I always offer a hand, and then two hands.

[Corey]

I go,

[William Hansen]

oh, that's so cringe. Don't do that.

[John Holmberg]

So you don't like when people says I'm a hogger.

[William Hansen]

No, I think we just all need to that agree that the etiquette is when someone says that to you, you go, well, I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you should hug firsthand because some people it might make them feel uncomfortable. Especially hating that when a filthy woman heads my direction with her arms open, expecting contact. Oh, yuck. I'm not sure what the Jersey is behind 69 jersey. I noticed that.

[William Hansen]

Where'd you stand on people that say I'm a hugger?

[John Holmberg]

Usually behind them. I'm a hogger too. I just don't like face to face contact. William Hansen Cereal with a spoon and a fork. Yeah, it's a good follow all the comments have to say. This guy's not real. Right?

[Corey]

I feel connected.

[John Holmberg]

I'm a hyga.

[Corey]

No thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that just won't do. Anyway, if he's eating a banana, I think I could watch that for

[William Hansen]

I

[John Holmberg]

like to eat the banana from behind. Oh yes, you peel it slowly while I chow down on the baits. He's weird.

[Corey]

William, come to Spain. Everyone kisses and hugs you as soon as they meet you. If you're introduced by a mutual friend.

[John Holmberg]

No, that won't do. I will offer a hand.

[Brady Bogan]

Huh?

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. Ah, there you go. Well, that's it. There's Brady's Brady Report. And that was weird. It's 98K, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Larry McFeely]

This is Larry McFeely and March is that sweet spot. You've got the best weather, spring training in full swing, and the perfect excuse to upgrade your ride. Choose from Toyota's best sellers like the smooth and reliable Camry, the always ready for anything Tacoma, or the bold, hard working Tundra. Whether you're commuting across the valley, heading up north for the weekend, or hauling gear for your next project, Toyota's got the keys to your next adventure. Make your move today during Toyota's Ready Set Go sales event. Visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning Cygnus and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail] youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available? Head on over to Lifted Trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Liftingtrucks.com work hard, play hard, drive harder.