03-10-26 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - 98 KUPD | March 10, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness kicks off with John Holmberg in a raucously positive mood after hitting a massive online gambling win, and spins from there into rants, debates, and irreverent comedy. Topics include the thrill and dangers of online gambling, the cultural disconnect around high art (opera, ballet), the etiquette of complaints in the internet age, and a candid, comical discussion about relationship woes sent in by listeners. The show is jam-packed with the regular crew's signature mix of sarcasm, boundary-pushing joking, and off-beat audience engagement.

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Main Segments & Discussion Points

1. Holmberg's Gambling Windfall and Reflections (00:26–11:55)

• John opens the show glowing with smug satisfaction, having turned $500 into a six-figure sum on a gambling app called Jackpot Go.
  • "I walked out of there with, or had my hand by the end of the night, it was six figures. It's that easy, people... It's amazing. I had to go to a dinner last night with Tripp, and I showed him when I was about halfway to my big number." (01:06)
• He jokes about the "work hard" mindset: “All that talk of work hard, you know, ambition, work ethic. It's all bull. It's just take a risk online.” (00:56)
• There’s back-and-forth ribbing between John, Brady Bogan, and Brett Vesely about the legitimacy, security, and “ROI” of slot gambling.
• Holmberg admits to playing during a charity meeting, hiding the phone under the table.
  • "I had the phone under the table because I was up 20 grand. And I'm like, I'm just going to keep playing this during the meeting..." (03:40)

2. Listener Interactions & The Metallica Contest Winner (05:43–07:15)

• John names the winner of a Metallica ticket contest: Christopher Maham.
• Banter about the prize, and John quips about the public's inability to be happy for others.
  • "If you're asking, you didn't win. If you don't know if you won or not, you didn't." (05:46)
• Sarcastically contrasts his own gambling windfall to the contest prize.

3. Online Gambling Legality and Adult Website Access Woes (12:02–14:00)

• The crew debates the legality of online gambling in Arizona.
• Brief, humorously adult detour about VPNs required to watch Pornhub in-state.
  • “You can have pornhub, you just have to get a VPN on your phone.” (12:23)

4. Timothée Chalamet Sparks Opera-Ballet Debate (14:00–26:08)

• Discussion about Timothée Chalamet’s negative comments on opera and ballet and why men don’t voluntarily attend.
  • "The only reason men go is gay or their wife made them." (16:22)
  • Brett: “You don’t see five dudes at a ballet going in together.” (16:30)
• The crew riffs on the South Park episode about musicals subliminally exciting women.
• John recounts opera experiences: "The fastest way to hate the opera is to go to one." (15:18) and shares he’d rather watch football or Shakespeare (which he also trashes).
• Dives into the persistence of high culture, fundraising for dying arts, and how these institutions must be subsidized (WNBA comparisons).

5. Riffing on Shakespeare, Faux-Intellectuals, and Casual Snobbery (20:21–24:11)

• Shakespeare is skewered as unreadable, overhyped: "If Shakespeare was so great, we'd still talk like that. I stand by that." (21:34)

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Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg (on winning at gambling):

  • "I know I sound smug, because I am. I'm feeling it. This morning. This is what smug sounds like." (11:37)

• Holmberg on opera/ballet:

  • "No man is gonna fit it, Brady, if you came in here and said I was, I’ve been going to ballet quite a bit lately. Fred and I are not gonna listen to the next thing you say. We're just gonna be laughing at your new lifestyle." (27:02)

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6. Letter Writing, Internet Outrage & Cripple Comedy (43:00–54:58)

• Discussion of how letters of complaint have lost all power in the internet age; the show openly mocks "Karens" and outrage emailers.
• Segment highlighted by dark humor about internet culture, memes, and the normalization of taboo jokes online.
• Brady is outed as a connoisseur of viral videos featuring people with disabilities—leading to wild, edgy banter.
  • "There's comedy in cripples. You just have to look for it." (54:12, Brady)
• Discussion of public vs. private offense: the world laughs at offensive content; lone emailers “lose the fight” in today’s environment.

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7. Advice Segment: The Case of "Justin and Hannah" (64:16–92:27)

• Listener problem: "Justin" pined for 18 months after "Hannah", had sex twice, but she fled in tears and ghosted him.
• The hosts speculate, with increasing absurdity:
  • Was it his dirty bathroom? ("Your best foot forward has to be your kitchen and your bathroom." – John, 66:45)
  • Did she find something in the medicine cabinet? Is she married, hiding a secret life, or feeling guilty?
  • On obsessive love: "Limerence is like you think... this is it. I love her. And it's Immediate." (68:26)
• Crowd wisdom: The bathroom is the likely culprit; if so, "clean it up, you animal!"

Memorable Listener Advice

• "You got yours. You're done." – Brett (66:12)
• "Justin, congratulations. She's crazy. You just got 18 months think of it like Curly did from City Slickers." – John (70:35)

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8. Sports, Local News, and Oddities (93:10–150:36)

• Brief Cardinals/NFL free agency talk and local sports news.
• Discussion about a man firing paintballs at a mosque at 2:30am, using the story as a segue into hot topics in gun rights and cultural suspicion.
  • "If you're gonna get a nutball to shoot at a place, Paintballs is the... the mass shooting we're looking for." (134:44)

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9. Hot Releases: Music, TV, and AI (153:27–169:13)

• New music: Lamb of God, Black Crowes, Dr. John cover, AI-generated Marilyn Manson song ("Slaughtered in Slow Motion").
• TV/Movies: WWE 2K26 video game, Nicole Kidman in "Scarpetta." Observations on how streaming and AI are changing entertainment.
• AI music draws wild praise: "That's the perfect marriage. AI and Marilyn Manson are meant for each other." (163:25)

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10. Entertainment Drill & Sign-Off (172:15–end)

• News: Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone prepping aged-sequels and prequels to their classics.
• Corey Feldman left out of Rob Reiner Oscars segment—mocked for his self-importance.
• “Best rock covers by women” reviewed and mostly dismissed.
• The team closes with more dark and irreverent humor, formative life lessons, and inside jokes.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Time | |----------------------------------------|--------------| | Gambling Windfall & Gambling Debate | 00:26–11:55 | | Metallica Contest Winner | 05:43–07:15 | | Online Gambling & VPN for Pornhub | 12:02–14:00 | | Chalamet’s Opera Controversy | 14:00–26:08 | | Shakespeare and The High Art Riff | 20:21–24:11 | | Internet Outrage & Disability Comedy | 43:00–54:58 | | Listener Advice: Justin & Hannah | 64:16–92:27 | | Cardinals & Sports/News Tangents | 93:10–150:36 | | Hot Releases (music/TV/AI) | 153:27–169:13| | Entertainment Drill & Sign-Off | 172:15–end |

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Tone & Style

The entire episode is steeped in edgy, unapologetic, roast-style humor, with the crew leaning deep into sarcasm, taboo topics, and rapid-fire punchlines. There’s a consistent air of camaraderie, irreverence, and defiant disregard for “proper” sensitivities. The banter jumps quickly between playful, confessional, and outrageous—a format familiar to long-time listeners.

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Takeaways

• John’s gambling story sets the mood: His win serves as a thread, coloring his mood and segues into topics on risk, luck, and schadenfreude.
• Unfiltered take on high culture: The team eviscerates the notion that opera, ballet, and Shakespeare are revered; in their view, most men only attend “for the women,” and most people are faking their appreciation.
• Mockery of outrage culture: Email complaints, “Karens,” and the waning influence of individual outrage in the age of memes and viral humor get roasted.
• Listener relationship drama is dissected mercilessly: Hygiene, obsession, and honesty are promoted, but always via cutting, unvarnished advice and derision.
• Embracing the offensive: The hosts push the line on humor about disability, sex, and social taboos—intentionally courting the kind of outrage they mock throughout the episode.

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For First-Time Listeners

If you missed the episode, expect relentless banter, controversial comedy, and a show that deliberately flouts modern social niceties while riffing on pop culture, sports, and listener dilemmas. Holmberg and crew deliver their brand of radio with a blend of braggadocio, self-deprecation, and sharp-tongued wit—rooted in Arizona but unafraid to tackle anything.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. It's more fun this way. Oh, I'm not gonna brag. You know me.

[Brett Vesli]

No, not at all.

[John Holmberg]

Good morning, everyone. How are you? Yes. No, I'm more refined this morning than ever. It's 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. Big dick Toledo. Should probably just retire the World series Super bowl. Yeah, Ken had a nice feeling last night. I. I don't brag, but I don't think anybody else did it yesterday. I'm probably the only guy who did. But let's just say that handheld gambling app things are real. I had quite a day yesterday, and I don't know what I'm gonna do with the money, but there's a possibility that gonna just quit, just gonna retire. I would be dumb to do because it's not enough to retire, but I little slot machine on $500 in a slot machine yesterday on my. And I don't play those. Like, I'll do it every once in a while, nothing major. And I walked out of there with or had my hand by the end of the night, it was six figures. It's that easy. People, all that talk of work hard, you know, ambition, work ethic. It's all bull. It's just take a risk online.

[Brady Bogan]

Work smart. John.

[John Holmberg]

Work, work. Not at all, Brady. I did it without breaking a sweat. I fell asleep a couple of times, hitting the button. You don't have to do anything. It was amazing. Yeah. I couldn't believe what happened yesterday. I had a. I had quite a day, quite an afternoon of online gambling. And I'm sorry to rub it into all of you, but, I mean, it's great. Sorry about that. All right. It's amazing. I had to go to a dinner last night with Tripp, and I showed him when I was about halfway to my big number. Wait a minute. You just. You just did that on your phone? Yeah. And you have at the time, 52,000. It was just peanuts. I said, yeah, you got a problem. I'm like, if you. If you think winning's a problem, old man, I think you've got the problem. You don't have it. Yeah. It reminded me when I got a student loan for eighteen hundred dollars at mcc and I was kind of cocky for a day or two. I had a cash in my pocket. Rol couldn't believe it. It's called jackpot Go. I feel like I'm gonna endorse it now. I was playing jackpot Go. And I couldn't believe what I was seeing. And it. Boom. Just smashed one. And I'm like, yeah, this is real. And the only problem with it is, is trying to transfer the money when you win into your bank. They require, like three pictures of your utility bills.

[Brett Vesli]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You gotta prove your address. Yeah. You gotta make sure that everything's going in the right place. I'm fine with that.

[Brett Vesli]

Is this another generator thing?

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. It's already in. It's already in the machine. In the machine, my friend. No. I would have a lot of tears, but, yeah, it was a crazy. Crazy. Couldn't believe it. So highly recommend. And you know, a lot of you're going to lose money, but somebody's gonna like you get a. It was fun. Turn 500 bucks into quite a lot of money. Just dicking around. Literally. Literally.

[Brady Bogan]

Turn on investment.

[John Holmberg]

Literally. Had had a meeting at 11 o' clock yesterday with the folks for Operation Hydration at the Phoenix Rescue Mission. Then finished up here. We were done. I'm like, I got the meeting at 11. Don't want to get anything started till after that's over. So I'll just plop down in my office and decompress for about 20 minutes. And I started there and bam, bam. And then I was at the meeting yesterday. I had the phone under the table because I was up 20 grand. And I'm like, I'm just going to keep playing this during the meeting and. And I want to know. I just leaned up to Larry McFeely while everyone was talking about important business stuff. And then I just pointed to my phone and it was another 13. I'm like, I can't stop winning. I'm not listening to anything.

[Brett Vesli]

He had to be losing it.

[John Holmberg]

And then I had a nice. And I put it down and I. I involved myself in the meeting. And then I went right back to it and I did it again and then went home, did some more, went to dinner, did some more. I didn't do it at dinner. Boy, did I want to, though. I'll tell you what, it was tough. He good thing the folks at Larry John Wright were kind of. They were engaging and entertaining because it just kept me just busy enough. But yeah, right here. Jackpot.

[Brett Vesli]

Go.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not saying you're gonna win. I'm saying you can. I think that's their slogan. I ain't saying you're gonna win, but you could. Anyway, have fun, kids. I did. It was great. It was great. So I'm going to have a very good attitude Today sounds like it. It's going to be a nice day for me. I don't want to. I'm not rubbing it into you as much as I am just saying how great my life is compared to yours. I don't think that's rubbing it in. It's just honesty, right? It's reality. It's really nice. Yeah, I got five people texting me already. Call me. What? What's it called? You're probably not gonna win. But I did. You gotta take chance.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't do it.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta take chance. Don't do it. You stay away from it. That's where my money lives. Couldn't believe it. So I know a lot of people get turned off because nobody roots for each other anymore. I'd be happy for you. You know, yesterday I had to. I gave away the Metallica thing.

[Brett Vesli]

Can you announce that? We've had like 10.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The guy. You didn't win. Yeah, exactly. Here's the thing. If you're asking you didn't win, if you don't know if you won or not, you didn't.

[Brett Vesli]

Maybe they want to know if they got to kiss their buddy's ass.

[John Holmberg]

Well, here's the thing. Yes. His name is Christopher Mayhem or Maham M A H A M. And I chatted with him yesterday. I called him about 1 o' clock and he's going up to Sphere in Vegas. The Larry showed me the numbers for what you guys did to enter this contest. Holy smokes.

[Brady Bogan]

And you're taking them to dinner and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I was going to head up there and go to dinner with him. He said yes. Did they run the video already?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I'm going to dinner with them. I guess I asked him if you want. I don't know that the answer was that for sure. I think he was being nice, pressured a little bit. All I said was, do you want to go to dinner? I'll go to dinner. He didn't really sure it that nicely. He was kind of like, yeah, I guess. Yeah, sure, that'd be great.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm like, you know, right now you, he and his wife maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'll third wheel that. Yeah, I'm not bringing extra to that. Look, I'm not bringing people to the party that. It'll just be me just going, what do you guys want to do next? I'm gonna be them to. We're gonna switch it. But yeah, so pretty cool. So Christopher did that. I was happy for him.

[Brady Bogan]

That's pretty amazing.

[John Holmberg]

I was pretty happy It's a great prize. I mean, I had a better prize. His prize is, okay, I can now buy, like, eight of those tickets for. It's easy as they do it, but, yeah, it's awesome for him. That's great. That was awesome.

[Brady Bogan]

It was great.

[John Holmberg]

It's great. We got more prizes coming and more things. Probably not nearly as good as what I won, but see, I'm happy for Christopher, so people should be happy for Brett. If you want, I'd be like, this is amazing for you. I'll get emails from people. You talk about all this. You can't be happy for somebody a nice day. What are you going to talk about it? Because it's a positive thing. What do you want me to say? I'm broke. I blew a bunch of money. Happy. It's happiness. Happy.

[Brett Vesli]

Not gonna play the song.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Yeah, Brad.

[Brett Vesli]

I figured that would have started the show.

[John Holmberg]

I forgot about that because I was so happy. I just. I just forgot about how happy I am. I will say this. The Ravens losing still makes me happier. So there are things that are more valuable than money. Brady Scott's right. And it's the pain of Baltimore, people. I told people that last night at the. At the dinner that something about doesn't trip, have a house in. Nobody thought it was funny. When Tripp was like, no, no, no, my house. We're rebuilding it in Cal after the fire. And I just turned to a guy and I went with. Like, I was lighting a match. I was gonna throw it on his new house. And he goes, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, everything. And he goes, doesn't he have a house in Baltimore, too? And I'm like, yeah. And Joseph pointed out, he goes, john finds anything bad that happens in Baltimore. Good. And I tried out my line about, yeah. In fact, when that boat hit the bridge, I was really happy that we trapped all those people in Baltimore. They couldn't get out. And not sure everybody took to that, as I'm like, you don't understand. There's Ravens fans in there. Yeah, it's pretty nice, though. It's close. Winning money and hearing bad news. But, like, if Max Crosby's legs just fell off on his flight to Baltimore today, I'd be like, I'd play this. Like, oh, spinal injury from actor Crosby. I saw that

[Brady Bogan]

first game back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the first game with the Ravens would be like, a practice or something stupid, like, happy.

[Brett Vesli]

I hope.

[John Holmberg]

I hope he signs with. This is what I kind of hope. I hope he signs with Baltimore after The training until all the traders have complete and all that. And then he goes to tour beautiful downtown Baltimore, and like most people there, gets shot like eight times and then, like, dump. So I do. I think winning this money and the Ravens losing are what causes great joy for me. You should want people to be happy. Don't email me about bad things. This guy says. I looked it up. Lots of reports that it's a scam. Well, you know, it isn't. My bank account at work transferred right over. Nathan trying to poo poo on my win. Lots of people call it a scam. It's not a scam. It went right in. Got receipts. I'd be happy for you, Nathan. I wouldn't text you and tell you probably gonna lose all that scam. And now everybody's emailing. It's called jackpot. Go. I'm not saying you're gonna win, just saying I did and I enjoyed it. I had a good time doing it. Killed some time.

[Brady Bogan]

It was a full day and then some.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was a lot. I looked up last night after I'd, you know, toying around with a. A little extra, and kept it there. Had the number stay. And I said, I wonder what time it is. And it was a quarter after one in the morning. I didn't know the time had passed like that. Pretty much been playing for. Save for dinner, 14 hours.

[Brett Vesli]

Were you playing under the table? Kind of.

[John Holmberg]

I did not. At dinner. I did. I was very respectful of dinner. I do have to admit, in the very beginning of the meeting yesterday after. After, you know, the. The oxytocin and the. The dopamine that flowed through my system after hitting on the couch in my. It was pretty nice. It was a. I played a little bit during the beginning of the meeting when everybody was doing the. You know, we're so happy to see you. Like, yeah, yeah. Greetings. Greetings. We're all on. Greetings. I love these salutations to you all. I'll be probably down here. And then when we got to the meat and potatoes of the. Of the meeting, I put it down. It was hard, I'm not gonna lie. But a lot of people use drugs and alcohol to feel good. I use gambling, and it works.

[Brady Bogan]

That's expensive. I mean, I. I guess they all could be expensive.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Turns out. No, it's not. It's actually lucran. You know what? Alcohol and drugs never do payback. That's true. There's no roi. I know I sound smug, because I am. I'm feeling it. This Morning. This is what smug sounds like. It's good. I've got a. I got emails. I love these. This one will solve.

[Brady Bogan]

This body is designed with an algorithm.

[John Holmberg]

You think?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, because I mean, you're. I mean just the slots you've.

[John Holmberg]

I get some.

[Brady Bogan]

Overall, you definitely have had more success on slots than I do.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty good on the losses. Says. I thought online casino gambling was illegal in Arizona. Evidently not sure isn't. Here they let you go right through. Everything's confirmed. We're okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Whoa.

[Brett Vesli]

So we can't have pornhub, but we can have this?

[John Holmberg]

You can have pornhub, you just have to get a VPN on your phone. And do you have the problem with pornhub now that they've done that? That you can't throw it up? Air airplay it up on your tv.

[Brett Vesli]

I don't have a vpn, so I've used there.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing. Just did. Yeah, I need to literally download it and hit a button and it turns it on and off. You can turn it on and off all the time. It made it so pornhub doesn't go to the tv. So I'm back to the archaic days of just holding it with my left hand in my. And staring at the little screen while my right hand goes to town.

[Brett Vesli]

Can you get it on an Apple tv?

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what I'm saying. You can get it all on tv.

[Brett Vesli]

Well, I mean you can go through and use.

[John Holmberg]

But it's like seven things. It used to just be hit the little TV square, pick which TV you want it on. Boom.

[Brett Vesli]

Is it just pornhub? Yes, like movies.

[John Holmberg]

Ex Hamster.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it'll go up there. Exhamster's a struggle. I don't like that. You don't either. Your face went sideways on X man.

[Brady Bogan]

Did it.

[John Holmberg]

Which one do you use?

[Brett Vesli]

Usually porn up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, me too. But yeah, because it's so clean and easy. I got better ones. And people always want foods. It's better. I'm like, eh. This one says it's a sweepstake style casino with virtual currencies like gold coins and sweeps coins you can redeem. Sweet. No, no, no. There's a way you can play for their little silly money and then you can play for your money. I got it. It came back as mine. It's pretty fun. It's great times. Great times you go through and you. You can have it loaded up to your PayPal. You can put it in your bank. Trust me. Nathan, quit trying to crap on my day. I knew there'd be People out there not saying, good for you. I found a way that it sucks your thing. I found a way that you're going to have suck time with that.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't do it, man.

[John Holmberg]

I found a way that everything you're talking about, that you're having a nice day. I found a way to ruin that. I'm trying to wreck it. I don't want you to be happy ever. Yuck. You're in a scam. You're basically a Ponzi scheme. I read about it on Reddit. No, it's in my account. No, it's not. I went to your account and I burned the bank down. I love. What's this? Brady and I were talking about it off here. You're not allowed to not like something anymore. Just casually. Timothy Chalamet, while the war rages on and people like the View is the one that confuses me most. They're always mad about topics and stuff that seem to be current, I guess. And right now they should be angry at war, right? Like, that's the thing they should be most mad at or concerned with. The thing they were most mad at is Timothee Chalamet saying he's not a big fan of opera. He said he wants to keep the theaters alive and people going to movies, and that's a big deal. He goes, I don't want to be, you know, sitting back, trying to. I want to keep it alive. Not like ballet or the opera or something like that, you know, where it's just a struggle to keep it going. And they're like, ah, he's unrefined piece of garbage. I'm like, what? He doesn't like ballet and opera? Most regular dudes don't. Right?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's a very small percentage of people that are huge into the ballet or opera. Have you ever been the fastest way to hate the opera is to go to one? Did you go, oh, I went to an opera a long time ago. Well, because, you know, Brett, I laid. It's easy. I did. Okay. It's easy to say yes very much, because it worked. Yeah, yeah. Look, I struggled through it. Then I was less than honest afterwards about it being the least entertaining thing I've ever dealt with in my life. I had easier time following Inception than it, what the hell's going on? You can't tell the love in his heart for that. No, they're just singing in Italian. Like, the guy's got a good voice. But enough with the yelling.

[Brady Bogan]

So it all. For him, it all started he was on a podcast with Matthew McConaughey.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And he says, the reason I didn't go down there one is I'm into the arts, but not that much in the arts because there's no money in opera and ballet.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And he even said it. He goes, it's just gonna be hard for. I don't want the theater to fall into the niche category of, like, trying to keep going. And everybody's like, oh, it's been around for 500 years.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the only reason men go is gay or their wife made them.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No man is like, nobody's sitting around Buffalo Wild Wings going, guys, after the game, you know, had some ballet. You don't see five dudes at a ballet going in together. It's not a thing. We do it to get laid. We do it for you.

[Brett Vesli]

Ladies, no one's ever come to studio here. So, guys, come on.

[John Holmberg]

Have you guys seen Shiny? Oh, it's amazing. Me and my bros went, what, you're gay? Not gay. Me banging that boy robot yesterday. A whole lot less gay than just guys tailgating at the Shiny. And it might be a great show. That's why I went to the opera. Two reasons. A delayed. I knew it was going to pay off, possibly with. And that was the one thing she knew. She knew I would. That's the only reason guys go. That's that south park episode about musicals. It's like they're all loaded with subliminal advertising to make women horny. And every guy gets a roadie on the way home. It's a whole episode. Like, did you know about this with Broadway? The whole thing's just littered with subliminal messages. That's why women love it so much. It's all. And it gets. And they'll blow you on the way home. And so guys started to love the theater because they realized, oh, my God, this is guaranteed roadie. I think opera's the same way. I don't know what they're singing, but I'm pretty sure it just plants messages in women's heads to make them plant things in their heads. But I wanted to see for myself. It's easy, Brett, to sit back and say, oh, I hate that. But you never actually experienced it, right? Yeah, you can. People don't like things they don't understand because it's easier. So I went and I realized that I hate it for real, too. I don't. It wasn't about, like, just assuming I was going to actually hate it. Something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] well,

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

You know when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv Downtown in Cityscape, you've got Stand east side. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimpro.com standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. It didn't make me more or less refined. I just, I hated it. I thought it was, it was like the, the WNBA of, of theater. Boring.

[Brady Bogan]

I know you might, it might surprise you, but I, I dozed off a

[John Holmberg]

little bit at the office. I don't know how. Yeah, I know because it's a lot of screaming. Now I don't.

[Brady Bogan]

I like the screaming woke me up.

[John Holmberg]

I like theater. I'll see some great plays. But it's, it's still pulling teeth to get me to go to like I'm not going to all of them.

[Brett Vesli]

Like the Book of Mormons.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious. And I did enjoy Madame Butterflies. That was beautiful. It's a beautiful story. And they're doing a lot of singing in that too. But you know, G with you, you know, it's a tougher sell. But again, Shakespeare was tough. Shakespeare's impossible to go to. You don't know and no, Shakespeare's the Bible. Everybody pretends they've read it and understood it, but nobody's gotten through that.

[Brady Bogan]

I got lectured on it about two weeks ago. He invented language, the English language.

[John Holmberg]

Who's talking to you about.

[Brett Vesli]

Nobody uses.

[Brady Bogan]

My brother in law's his sister who comes from a theater background.

[John Holmberg]

All you have to do when somebody's talking to you about that like that, especially a guy like you, is just go, I've grown tired of you. And walk away from them because their conversation skills suck. If you're still selling me Shakespeare. So beautiful, probably I don't know, I don't understand it. And then they get high and mighty about it, like, ah, you. And they just go, I've grown tired of this conversation. I'm going somewhere else with someone who's interesting. If Shakespeare was so great, we'd still talk like that. I stand by that. If Shakespeare's language was so flowery and beautiful, we'd still do it.

[Brett Vesli]

I'd like to argue that. But you can't.

[John Holmberg]

You can't. It's impossible.

[Brady Bogan]

She point out. She did point out a couple of things. That he invented a couple of words. Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Invented a ton of stuff. So what?

[Brady Bogan]

I can't remember.

[John Holmberg]

Eventually some people, like, you know, there's a couple of them. He invented hie, which is high, but it means let's go. Or kind of like get a move on or something like that. It's like, so what? And again, proof. No one ever read it. He added in gibberish at the time. If it wasn't a word. People had to read it and go, what the hell is this? The hell is this one? Does anybody know what this means? Only Shakespeare knows. And then, come on, that's like the Helen Keller myth that she ever even wrote a book or had a language with her fist in her hand that none of that was real.

[Brady Bogan]

Whatchamacallit.

[John Holmberg]

You can't read a book. Like if you wrote. If Brady wrote a book right now, there'd be plenty of words in there you'd never seen before. Now they're just misspellings. But let's play pretend that Brady's trying to Invent words. You'd read it and you go, hey, there's like 10 or 11 things in here that don't make any sense. You'd have to ask the author. Back then there wasn't an Internet or a phone or anything else. So if you just throwing in words only he knows. Any decent reviewer of a book would be like, every once in a while it's just like a word that doesn't exist. He's pretending he's a retarded person. I think dad, with your Shakespeare, nobody's read it. Bible, Shakespeare. Nobody's actually read either of them. They just play pretend. They've been. They've been told by teachers or pastors or anything else that this is all you need to know. You've been given the notes.

[Brett Vesli]

I don't even think the junior high and high school teachers have read it

[John Holmberg]

because none of us have.

[Brett Vesli]

And we're just BS and through.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. If any high school student wants to explode the education system, actually read Shakespeare. The whole thing, read it. Nobody's ever done it. The teachers haven't done it. The teachers that taught them haven't done it. You go back to maybe the last person actually read Shakespeare. Like read it. Not acted it out. Read it was. It was probably like 1450. Probably.

[Brady Bogan]

I got an award in high school for Shakespeare. I acted out scene, but I totally modified it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What you were. Was what the teacher's dream. Because you were the comedic deflection to any questions about the book that that teacher had also not ever read. I hard pressed to find one public school teacher that's actually read Shakespeare. Not a thing. You were told what it is by someone else and they were told by someone else all the way back to maybe Shakespeare himself, who actually I think it just got a. He's like the luckiest author ever. Romeo and Juliet was the big sell. They made a movie out of it and they tried and they did it a couple of times.

[Brady Bogan]

He was tougher. You know, one of the rare ones that died with money. Most of them became famous after

[John Holmberg]

he said Reed Siemens, great name. Says I like short operas. One of my favorites is when people sing. If you have a structured settlement and you need cash now. Oh. JG Wentworth. 877 cash now. 8 7, 7 cash now. We all know it.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And that's as good as. That's. That's Rube Opera. And we're like, that's as much as I can handle. And sometimes when it runs a couple of times in the day, you're like, all right, enough with the Vikings yelling at me. So Timothee Chalamet is allowed to not like the opera and say that he thinks it's. I don't think it's thriving as far as its interest. It has some areas that, you know, like the. And ballet is the other thing. He said ballet is another one. No dudes are going to ballet. Nobody's leaving the cardinal game going. We got to get out of here a little early. I might go watch ballet over that. That's a good point. It's, you know, it's a skill. It's an art. Nobody's saying it's easy. But you know what is also a skill and an art and not easy at all is shooting a bow and arrow. But I'm not gonna watch you do that either. It's boring. Don't you appreciate how hard she's worked? Huh? I was playing Jackpot. Go. Are we still. Oh, I'm sorry. What? Am I still getting a blowjob? Of course you are. Yeah. That's all I care about. And you have to just sit and go, yeah, this is fun. I enjoyed it, too. Does that mean that you're gonna knob me now? Oh, fine. I owe you a knobbing. Did you like it?

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because you're essentially a woman or a gay guy. I'm straight. I have no interest in that. If it was so great, and I say this about a lot of things, it would have, like, a full day where everybody, you know, shuts down and watches it. Like football. That's how you know something in America is good. There'd be a Shakespeare channel or there'd be a 24 hour network dedicated to it, but there's no business in that. If you had 24 hours of opera on your TV, sweet Jesus, you'd kill yourself.

[Brett Vesli]

I might read a book at that point.

[John Holmberg]

And then you got Whoopi Goldberg yelling at Timothy Chalamet for not like an opera. And I'm like, he's not allowed to think opera's dumb. Coming for you, baby. I'm coming for you, baby. It's like, what, Oprah? What are you like.

[Brady Bogan]

You're. You better be careful, boy.

[John Holmberg]

Be careful, boy. I come for you. All right, well, that's a boy to me.

[Brett Vesli]

That show you're not allowed to have an opinion on. So it's.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're not allowed to differ from those broads, but I figured they'd be more into the war than, like, they're distracted by the op. They. That's a group of women. If that's the core audience for the opera. I'm more right than I knew. I don't want to sit behind Whoopi and Joy Behar and hear them bitching the whole time. That. No, thanks. Yeah, there's a lot of things out there that people don't like. You're not. You know, you can love the ballet and stuff like that. You're. But, you know, we all know you're homosexual. No man is gonna fit it, Brady, if you came in here and said I was. I've been going to ballet quite a bit lately. Fred and I are not gonna listen to the next thing you say. We're just gonna be laughing at your new lifestyle. We'll accept you into our fold, but not without jokes. You find out your friend is gay. Oh, it's great stuff. I. For Gary Cannon, the comedian, when he finally. He said, he sent me this big, long letter, like, telling me, you know, it's been this. I'm getting divorced from my wife. I'm gonna move on. I'm. I'm a homosexual now. And I'm like, you think you needed to tell me that? I've always known you. I was gonna say, did you know

[Brady Bogan]

that ahead of time?

[John Holmberg]

You've always been a. I can't believe I was more shocked at your wife, to be honest. How did she not know every time you rolled her over and called her Ron? Well, Brady actually gets to do that. His wife is named Ron. You can do that if you want. Wait a minute. Yeah, it was this big, flowery letter, hoping that I'd accept him. And I'm like, yeah, I've always known you've wanted to just all of that stuff. What? No. Just wanted to let you know I don't believe you. I'm a homosexual, like Gary. Come on. When you got divorced, I assumed it was for another guy. You're such an asshole. Right. That's what we're talking about. You love those. Anyway, just keep it off of me. I don't care about your. Do whatever you want. But even Gary would say that the opera's. You know. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

So don't.

[John Holmberg]

Don't get on Timothy Chalamet. Another thing I do like, though it's flying around, is people are trying to get mad at Jesse Jackson's son for yelling at all the people. It's been. It's getting bigger, which I like. Jesse Jackson had his funeral, and all these people were kind of grandstanding at the funeral, politically. They were saying things about politics and everything else. Like, what else are you going to say about Jesse Jackson at his funeral. That's all he did. And then his son went up and said, you keep your politics out of my dad's funeral. I'm like, your dad was known to inject his politics into everything he ever did, including funerals. The only reason Jesse Jackson was famous is because he was standing next to Martin Luther King when he got shot. And then he just used that as his leverage for his whole life. Some things he did were great, some things he did were terrible. But you can you. You inject politics into a dude that just shoehorned his way into every single aspect of political life and everybody's all like, mad at the people who. No. Exactly what he did.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, the only thing too is you have to agree in a way, like, he didn't have a say on who can speak. Because his point was, yeah, look, you could, you know, if. Interject your politics, but he's like, any. All these people that were talking about didn't know my dad. Like, what are they doing?

[John Holmberg]

There's some truth to that. One of my favorite moments in funeral history that was televised on ESPN was the Pat Tillman one. John McCain went up and spoke about this and that, and they had all these people, and Chris Berman was like the host of the funeral. It was the weirdest thing. And then I guess they're sold on.

[Brady Bogan]

We'd like to honor him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Pat's brother went up and goes, you're all full of. First off, quit saying he's with God now. Pat didn't believe in that. What do you do? None of you knew him. And he cracked a beer and he started doing all sorts of Jake Plummer. Another one. I gained tons of respect for Jake Plummer. Basically calling a dog and pony show. I felt the most sorry for Chris Berman, who was hosting it like it was a charity event. Is it a little bit awkward right there with the Jake Plummer telling everybody to go themselves? Say what you will, Pat Tillman would have wanted it that way. He loved to tell people to go off every once in a while, which he was, but it was the strain. I like that. I think a funeral where people get up and try to make it about themselves and stuff like that, get called out. But nobody in the history of funerals was more that way than Jesse Jackson himself. He went to people's funerals he didn't know, just to get attention for how they died. Like, he'd find a political, like a. An s. Storm of a story, you know, like somebody was killed or something like that. And he'd run to their funeral and he's like, you don't even know him. You got.

[Brett Vesli]

You got to.

[John Holmberg]

You're just talking because you're going to get attention.

[Brady Bogan]

But a lot of times that was to get justice.

[John Holmberg]

Was it? Or was it to get Jesse Jackson's foundation more money? Because a lot of times there was no justice. But he didn't.

[Brady Bogan]

He worked both ways.

[John Holmberg]

So he did exactly what everybody's saying you shouldn't do. It was his career to go grandstand at terrible events and funerals and things like that. He was no better than the West Baptist Church on occasion. I think he did a lot of great things, too. But when it comes to that, your dad's going to have some political people saying political crap and doing exactly what your dad did. Yeah. At his funeral. You can't get mad about.

[Brett Vesli]

Be expected.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely. It's how you lived your whole life. Anyway, I just got to keep depositing money into my account. This is ridiculous. But if you are a guy that wants to go to the opera, I bet you it would be easier to tell your family you're gay than it would be to try to get them to go with you. Nobody wants to go. Just to circle back. There's no possible way that's something that anybody's wrong.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you go to the. This past year. The movie fundraiser? The show business fundraiser?

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't go to movies anymore.

[Brady Bogan]

But you've been to an opera fundraiser.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Find that interesting? I haven't, but they do that every year.

[John Holmberg]

I've been to the opera.

[Brady Bogan]

Needs money.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Oh, I see what you're saying. Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, you twink or what?

[John Holmberg]

What is it? He's always trying to make the point that they have fundraisers to keep it alive because you can't pay for itself. It's like wnba, the high school band.

[Brady Bogan]

It's just a lost form of art. I mean, they want to protect.

[John Holmberg]

It's just not that interesting to everybody. He's. You know. If you have to have fundraisers, that means you're not making enough money just selling tickets.

[Brett Vesli]

It's like the WNBA sort of like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It has to be subsidized by things that aren't that, you know, I go to.

[Brady Bogan]

The audience that enjoys it is too small to support.

[John Holmberg]

Right. They can support it, but just that it's not going to be some thriving thing. I like theater. I like plays. I think they're great. A lot of the times I support the Arizona Theater Company. I go to the thing every year

[Brady Bogan]

Again, that Though you know another one that. It's great when you go, but it's just.

[John Holmberg]

It's not like you're running out there every Friday. Like, what do you want to do? You want to go to the theater this week? Now, it's fun, but there's a ballet thing. Dragging me to a ballet. Your chicks are hot, but they're super thin. They're like, I'd like to see some of those opera ladies try that. The big fat broads.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, please.

[Brady Bogan]

One Christmas bunny, the whole family, she's like, we're going to the Nutcracker ballet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, moms drag families to that thing. We've all sat through the Nutcracker. And they take kids, which is, why is there a kid on the planet? That's how you know if your kid's gay. If you take your son to the Nutcracker and he comes out of there just beaming, it's like, man, prep him.

[Brady Bogan]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Prep him. Because he's. He's. He's. Yeah, don't. Don't be surprised when he and his friend are just gonna stag it to prom. We're just gonna go together. We don't have dates. Oh, boy. No kidding. My dad probably asked me a hundred times, did you like the Nutcracker when your mom took. Was all right, like. What do you mean, all right? Like, good or terrible? And do you want to. Do you want to go back? I don't know if mom wanted to go. Kind of ambiguous. Are you leaving your dad? No answers.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Dan. I think you're some lesson pipe in his future.

[John Holmberg]

It just. He's not saying he hated it, but he doesn't seem overwhelmed. I don't think he's made a decision yet. I'm just gonna leave it there.

[Brett Vesli]

You didn't take Mark with you, did you?

[John Holmberg]

No. Okay.

[Brett Vesli]

Just making sure. They already had questions about you guys.

[John Holmberg]

As it is, my mom and my dad's boss's wife and me and their kid named Mason and Mason turn out gay. There you go. I don't know. That's a good question. I don't know. And their daughters, my stupid sister. And there was some other lady there. I don't remember who that was, but. Yeah, me and Mason were the only boys, and we were like eight. We hated it, but we didn't know, like, what it was, so we just kind of knew. Going in, Mom's making. It's like going to the mall. We got tired. We were tugging on. Come on, get some food. And we knew on the Way home, we'd get roads, we'd get roadies from our. That's the detail in the training. It's like my dad. You'll thank me someday, son. This is. This is tolerance training. You're going to sit through this with your mother, and someday you're going to do this with the lady you choose. And it's going to be equally as terrible, but at the very least, you're going to get a little ass out. Good message. You know how I know? Also, there's no real interest in it. Timothy Chalamet's right. There's no sports bar with ballet side. The tv, you know, that shows just ballets and like, you can go over to Twin Peaks and you guys showing the ballet. Get out of here. You get out immediately. It's not a thing. You're allowed to not care for the battle. End of story. I've got a couple emails here. They're gonna. We have to solve a man's life in a fun way. They emailed me. It's the saddest, most ambiguous email I think we've ever gotten on the show. And when I read it, I just giggled hysterically internally. And I'm like, this poor bastard is. And he's in a spot. This isn't a what would Brady do? This is a what the hell happened here? And it's got. He's. He's in hell. We'll talk it. We'll talk about that in a little bit. In the meantime, you got the Sick New World stuff going on on your app. You can tap the track and go crazy with that. You know how it works. If your phone is what you listen on or the computer is what you listen on, it will start telling you, hey, hit the button right now, and you'll qualify yourself for some Sick New World tickets up there in Vegas in the end of April. It's as easy as doing it. So every time an artist from that show and just about everybody is playing that show comes on, you tap it, you go into the pile, we'll draw your name and maybe you'll go to five, you know, five pairs of tickets for people going up and then a VIP package for one lucky winner. So pay attention to that. That's going on through the, you know, the fingers of this show right now. In the meantime, let's get a wake up song. 585-9-800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98k up. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully ARR. It's John Holberg here, and I found a place I'm genuinely excited about. Modern Resolution windows and doors. And it all started because my front door just broke. Not stuck, not squeaky. The thing actually broke. So I called them and from the first meeting I could tell family run local. They care about doing things right. It was great. Check them out. Modernresolution.com Great people, great work. Modern resolution windows and doors. My new find and your home's new upgrade. Free in home consultation. So just call text or book online. Modernresolution.com call them 480-666-55-5732. Hey, everybody, it's John Holmberg and Brett

[Brett Vesli]

Vesli from the Morning Sickness. And if you love great sound in

[John Holmberg]

your vehicle like we do, you gotta check out Quality Car Stereo.

[Brett Vesli]

These guys are local right here in Mesa and they have some of the greatest sounding equipment in the business.

[John Holmberg]

We're not talking about just louder. We're talking about cleaner, rich or real concert quality sound. Go see them in Mesa or check them out online. QualityCarsterioAz.com Quality Car Stereo. When you want your ride to sound as good as it looks, trust us,

[Brett Vesli]

you'll hear the difference immediately.

[John Holmberg]

Go to the website right now. Quality Car Stere. Still streaming Homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Is this homebug? Thank you, Thomas James. Band flying through. And don't listen to Toledo. If he's telling you who's at Sick New World, he just came in to remind us that Chevelle, that's a tap, that track like. Yeah, if it was 2024. They're not there. Not all the bands are, but it sure seems like it. There's an awful lot of them up there. April 25th, and we're gonna get you there. And all you have to do is pay attention on the app or the website. We'll load you up that away. Before we get to anything else, Jason has emailed said John. Today is our good friend Tyler Chauvin's birthday. Longtime listener, huge fan. Just wondering if you'd be able to wish him a happy birthday on the air this morning. Thanks in advance, Jason. No,

[Brady Bogan]

thanks for asking.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, though. It was nice of you to ask, but no, not for Tyler at all. Oh, and then people sending me pictures. Oh, my goodness. Oh, why'd you do this to me? This is our Penny girl. Passed away this morning. I wanted to show you how sassy she was and make you cry. There's a picture of a little dog. All right, Cookies and hugs for your pets today in honor of Penny Girl. Oh, my goodness. That's an adorable dog. P.S. is the name of the person. Sorry for you. I get those a lot. I asked for it. That's my own doing, being a dog guy. But they're good.

[Brady Bogan]

Toast.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Got to give a toast. That's a great picture, by the way. It's adorable. All right, we'll start with this one, because this is a good one. First says, hey, Holmberg. Hey, man. About a week ago on the show. Or I said, I'm about a week behind on the show and just got up to the Rachel episode and I'm dead. We don't have episodes.

[Brett Vesli]

They're podcast episodes.

[John Holmberg]

Apparently there are podcasts. You can go back to Showground. Come on. Yeah, it is part of the. The delicious future. It's the time machine of my emails. It's like I was listening the other day to a thing about a week. I don't remember the other day or a week ago, but I do remember big, fat restless leg Rachel, who's mad at everything. Restless leg syndrome. And was it menopause she was off on, too? I think she got mad at that as well. I don't remember. Says, I am dead. I'm howling in my car. No one laughs the way I did it. 2:00 clock in the afternoon. I look like an insane person. I like the old days when all there was was morning shows in your car, and if you saw someone laughing like that, you just assume they were listening to a show and maybe you'd come around to try to find out what they were laughing at. But now I just look like I'm the joker. I was at a stoplight and the car next to me looked over like I was a mental patient. Also, people like Rachel. She hated what you said about her and her giant fat legs being restless. I wonder what she does when she scrolls the Internet. It's a good point. So I don't understand the world's letter writers these days. Isn't it clear that the letter writer has lost the fight? The Internet does horrible things. There's no point to complain. Men, women, kids, whites, blacks, Jews, it doesn't matter. I say this full knowing that Brett is in the room right now. Did any of us whites know about the fire alarm chirp before Instagram? I didn't. Maybe they're trying 3%. It wasn't. Maybe it wasn't a reference people understood. No, I didn't. Said, I think the Internet's bringing us closer. Anyway, keep up the Great work and being brave enough to tell the world sea worlds to stuff sand up their assigned Yarborough. Yarborough was a guy who emailed before about wanting to leave his wife and now he's just having the time of his life at 2 in the afternoon. It is true. If you see somebody laughing in their car by themselves in the afternoon, it's crazy. You do look crazy and I think you can do it in the morning. Like, you just assume, oh, they must be listening to something like. But never in the afternoon have you like just been busting up laughing.

[Brady Bogan]

It's kind of entertaining in a way. Same with a person just belting away singing.

[John Holmberg]

I do that all the time. But that's fine because that makes sense. Of course there's songs, but who's entertaining you that. What do you listen to? 2pm is not like howling alone. Funny time. It's usually like you're either in the throes of your day or you're ending it and you're just trying to look crazy. You look like an insane person. But he's right when he brings up. You know, we had that, the menopause talk. We had Rachel and her restless legs and who's the other Catherine that was

[Brett Vesli]

the one sticking up for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she was mad about how fat Rachel was for Rachel and that lady last week that was like, hey, putting a one to euthanize women on menopause. I know you say they're jokes, but that's terrible. Like, it's pretty good, but what is? Yeah, because I'll say this out loud. I'm not afraid of it. Has the Internet. Is there. Is there ever been anything that's made Hitler more hilarious? It's terrible to say it, but the. I'm not the one doing it, but Hitler is all over the Internet. And the second we had AI to make it, like, we made him do skateboard before that.

[Brady Bogan]

Would that be Mel Brooks?

[John Holmberg]

Well, the risk, but I mean, no.

[Brett Vesli]

Hitler on ice.

[John Holmberg]

Like, he made Hitler. This is taking the actual Hitler and putting him in funny situations like we can now. AI. And the first thing we did as a society that's supposedly always clutching its pearls over words we don't like, was to take Hitler and make him an Indianapolis cult for a second. Doing a post game press conference.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And there wasn't a soul that didn't think that was hilarious. So. Yeah. How are you mad at something you heard on the radio? What? How do those people react when the Internet punches them? Because there's been stuff where I'm Watching the Internet.

[Brett Vesli]

My.

[John Holmberg]

Is this terrible. The Internet's a horrible place. But it, like, it has to. I think he's right. I think the letter writers have law. Like, there's no strength in your letter writing anymore for just your singular complaint. If somebody says something like, you know, all people from Jack Manistan should be killed immediately, and he's serious about it, you're like, okay, this guy's calling for murder. That's different. But somebody just says something you don't like, your letter writing is over. The whole Internet is stuff people don't like. Maybe it's just algorithms created whole Karen. Yeah, but they're dead. They're gone. Like, there's no. Karen has no choice.

[Brady Bogan]

On to the next thing.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because the Internet, my Internet, my scrolling is one horrible thing after another. Keep in mind people who are firing off an angry email about restless leg syndrome to a guy who said something you didn't like. There is an entire hilarious genre of Instagram videos of hot girls with down syndrome, and they're not real girls with great bodies have decided that it would be great to filter their face as down syndrome. By the way, someone invented down syndrome filter for our amusement.

[Brett Vesli]

Pretty funny.

[John Holmberg]

Meanwhile, you wasted a few minutes of your day to fire off a thing about restless leg syndrome. That one guy said something you didn't like. The whole world loves. Not only is it funny, those girls are hot.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you'll look past the downs part. It's crazy. There's so much stuff every day I see where I wonder, how can anyone get up in arms about anything someone says in a fashion that's a joke or just, like, in passing? I understand the ramifications of truly terrible stuff, you know, but that's also kind of subjective. But, yeah, I don't. I think. I think Yarborough is right. I think the days of slamming out an angry email about something you just didn't like, those days are over. Nobody's gonna pay attention to you anymore. You're. You're a relic. You're lost in time.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, prepare for the. The onslaught of comments not going your way.

[John Holmberg]

You're not gonna win it. Yeah, those days of you winning that argument are. No, they're no longer.

[Brady Bogan]

I think that's what Reddit's for.

[John Holmberg]

I think you get some radio shows that get scared. Frank used to Callie Anders get scared at comments and saying, I can't believe he did that. And it would make him nervous because he thought his money was. But I don't think those people have cash anymore. Scotty mails. And he said, john, you sound old and you're the host of a podcast. I constantly laugh in the store or while working. Duncan Trestle Family Hour. Duncan's great. Says also the morning sickness podcast. All times are good for laughing. I agree with that. But it does look crazy in your car at 2 in the afternoon. They'd just be losing it. Yeah, I think that's. It's a big message to. Yeah, it's a big message to everybody that if you were gonna. If Brett says something you just didn't like about, I don't know, Brett could say some stuff. Let's go. Something you just don't like. Brett's probably one you could probably write a letter about. But he keeps it to himself. But not on the Internet, you don't. You pass on someone else's horrific creations. And I'm gonna be the first to say it. Thank you. It makes my day better to know that that kind of darkness is out there and I'm not creating it. There's some hilarious stuff. Brady is the biggest, like, I'm gonna call it Cripple Hater I've ever seen in my life. You find the cripple videos.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know why you say it's

[John Holmberg]

hating because it's hysterical. You're making fun of him. And I think it's. And Brady, there's comedy cripples. Thank you. Yeah, but they're not being comedian.

[Brett Vesli]

Comedy and cripples. I like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know what's great about his defense? He basically just confirmed what I said. Exactly. Because those people aren't trying to be funny. They're just being crippled.

[Brady Bogan]

And I don't know. I've seen a couple trying to be funny.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not. They're actually just trying to get from A to B. But they walk like snails. And you like to send that to people going, check it out. Would you do her? And that's. Don't act all innocent. Like it's all some scientific.

[Brady Bogan]

You said. What'd you do?

[John Holmberg]

You have said it.

[Brady Bogan]

I just. Just send it to you.

[John Holmberg]

And what I say is, kill it. Kill that thing. Kill that back. And I put a hammer emoji. Like, you gotta kill that. It's not. Shouldn't be part of our society. The ones Brady finds are way beyond, like, functional. Would you nail it?

[Brady Bogan]

Nice, though, right?

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, yeah, Brady's as dark as anybody else writing letters to him.

[Brady Bogan]

Fair game. They put it up there.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. They didn't. Someone else did. But like you said, there's comedy and cripples for you. When you see one, you think it's hysterical that they're going through that and you send it to us. That's your thing. You're my guy. When I see Brady sent me a link, usually I know it's somebody less. Like somebody Mother Teresa would have, like, wrapped up and put into her little house of the dying. And usually they're trying to like, cross a road or something. They're just doing something mundane. But you just are. And I can just hear you howling at home. He ain't got no legs. And they look like they started to grow and then quit like a fish. I'll send this to John. You don't need a comment. I know why you're sending it to me. You're not sending it to me so I send money to the foundation. You're sending it to me because it's hysterical. That pile of bones with Kenny Loggins head that you found, he ain't trying.

[Brady Bogan]

I wish I could say he's still kicking.

[John Holmberg]

He ain't trying to be fun. See, this is the kind of crap he does. And then he plays innocent over there. Look at him. Look, look. You know what? You know what cripples are? You know what cripples are to Brady? Human farts. He laughs the same when he thinks of a cripple as he does when somebody farts in a room.

[Brady Bogan]

They're people.

[John Holmberg]

They're fart. People love to laugh. Okay, you keep telling yourself that. You know what they don't know about you firing off, like, pictures of them and stuff. That bag of bones Kenny Loggins is thinking like, he's just. He's not doing it. Somebody else. He can't fight back. Do whatever you want with him. People are filming it and stacking them into stuff and you love every second of it.

[Brady Bogan]

It's fascinating.

[John Holmberg]

You're not a scientist. There's nothing fascinating, okay? He's acting like he's all right. You're not deep, Brady. Knock it off.

[Brady Bogan]

So much like Kenny Loggins.

[John Holmberg]

Shut the up. You're la. Laughing at it. And that's why you watch Fascinating Celebrate me. You're deflecting. Now we know what you're doing. You're an like the rest of us. Knock it off, mister. It's fascinating. Not tonight. I just can't get out of how much I want to know about their. What's he have? What's his disease?

[Brady Bogan]

Kenny Loggins.

[John Holmberg]

What's his disease that you're so fascinated? There we go. What is it called? You know, you don't make something up. Do you know?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. Yeah, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

Because you don't really care. It's hilarious. And you send it to us. You've not looked into it. Watch this. What's his name exactly? He doesn't Mr. Fascinated. I did a deep dive on that. What about the.

[Brady Bogan]

Give me a minute. Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

What about you? No, no, don't go to your handbrake. What about the one you love so much of those two snail butted people that play soccer on the sidewalk and then one kicks the other's ass. You know what I'm talking about? Oh yeah, Soccer. Sent that a couple times.

[Brady Bogan]

I've only seen one of their videos,

[John Holmberg]

but you fired it right over. So let's not act like you're doing.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought maybe the one that Brett put him up there. I thought it was the same crew which last week where the guys got into a fight.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This one says comedy and cripples. He's laughing about it over there already. 6:52am, March 10, 2026. Brady Bogan comedy. And look at him, he's red. Because he knows Jesus heard it and he's worried. He's gotta apologize for that. Brady is saying, don't be part of the problem, Be the whole problem. That's exactly right. There's comedy in cripples. You just have to look for it. Oh, the unfortunate hilarious. I love laughing at people who can't move. That's hysterical. Yeah, it's good stuff. Oh, those wheels. See what's in Brady's search history. Maybe you can get him a deal at Lifted trucks. Yeah, all the Brady's favorite people on Instagram could go to lifted trucks and get an upgrade on their wheels. Anyway, the day of the complaint is over because in the old days you'd have been worried about like something. How dare you. My daughter is crippled. It'll still bother you. It wouldn't bother me at all. My daughter is crippled. There's absolutely nothing funny about it. I'm like, yeah, there is. The Internet says so now. She might not have done anything funny yet.

[Brady Bogan]

What if the guy came up and wheels up his daughter and says this funny? No, that's not.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God, I'd be in stitches if. If a dude used his daughter as a comedy prop. Loading Carrot Top of the Handicap is funny.

[Brady Bogan]

He's not using it, he's just wheeling up. So this is funny.

[John Holmberg]

Not funny. The second a guy says that to both of Us. You're the one laughing hardest. You think this is funny. And he puts your daughter. I'm laughing now. Yeah, when you put it that way, it's hysterical. You're laughing at her, sir. And he places her in front of you like you're supposed to go, I'm sorry. I was like, I'd laugh harder. Don't use her. I'll wheel you right over to that man and show you what's not funny about this. That makes it funny. That's the funny part. Now is the disease itself funny? Yes, that's why the Internet embraced it as a joke. Hilarious. Brady's quote of the year already and it's just mid March.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not funny until I shake her hands with my hand buzzer.

[John Holmberg]

Now that's funny. She can't feel that. I just heard the noise of the buzzer. Not happy comedy and cripples. Brady said, let's just, let's just marinate in that for a minute. Well, he tries to tell us that. It's fascinating. Thanks, Carl Sagan.

[Brady Bogan]

You got it.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you just say it out loud? Those people slay me. It's like Brett and all that racist stuff. It's terrible. The Hitler stuff. I have you as. I'll tell people I have you when you call me. Your picture is Hitler. Have you seen it? Call me right now. Call me. You've seen it, right? Yeah, yeah, I have a good portion of my friends, like when their screen pops up. Yeah, it's me. You're calling me right now. Here, watch this. This is the best thing in the world. When I open that up. Oh, it's. You see a little picture, sometimes it comes up as the big one, but it's Adolf Hitler. Of course it's Hitler. It's you. I'm like, this is not going to be good. And it's a reason to remind me like terrible things are happening. If Brett's calling me, you've seen mine. Yeah, it's terrible. That's the worst thing I've ever seen. That's worthy of a letter. I haven't seen that for a while. That's just awful. It's so bad I won't even describe it.

[Brett Vesli]

No, you can't.

[John Holmberg]

You can't. But that's what makes the world go right.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, some of the pictures I have

[John Holmberg]

of my friends in there, it's just insane. Anyway, I just, I don't even wanna. Yarboro's right. All these thin skinned weirdos that fire off something that hurt their feelings for Half a minute. Just the old days. Used to just hear stuff and get over it. What do you do when the Internet starts talking to you? Because there's stuff. I scroll through and like, gee, he sus. The jokes about women. There's a whole page dedicated to women hurting themselves. Whole page.

[Brady Bogan]

Kids getting hurt.

[John Holmberg]

Kids getting women. Women getting hurt. There's comedy in cripples. As Brady Bogan so eloquently put.

[Brady Bogan]

My buddy John Laird just texted. I lost my left foot. I'm all right, right? There's some comedy.

[John Holmberg]

It's kind of funny. I mean, you gotta do something with it. It's not as funny as what Brady thinks is funny. Like you're like totally crippled, paralyzed or something, stacked up on top of yourself. Brady likes extremely crippled people as comp comedy. Not just footless. Footless is funny if you have like a couple minutes routine about your foot or a good story.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But for the most part, footless is faceless. That's baby stuff this dude's doing. That's. That's amateur hour for the Brady cripple that we're talking about. He loves the cripple. He loves the cripple ripples. And you know what? I thank you, Brady. It's very funny.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah,

[John Holmberg]

Josh Blue. He knows. He was here last week being crippled and funny.

[Brady Bogan]

Anyway, short bus.

[John Holmberg]

Short bus is great. There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] ever

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Fishertools.com It's John Holmberg here from the morning Cygnus, and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail] youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to lifted trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 20, 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Lifted trucks dot com. Work hard, play hard, drive harder. Holmberg's morning sickness. This one says, I always thought you were the dark one on the show, John. But as the years go by, it turns out I know it's Brady. Between the crippled laugh and waking up to Mr. Goldman asking about the gloves, that was a long time ago, but he did that, too. For those who don't know that story, Fred Goldman, the father of ron Goldman, who O.J. sliced up with Nicole Brown Simpson, used to work at the Nordstrom's at Fashion Square. And I didn't know that was true. And Brady and I were at the mall together back when people went to the mall. Want to see Fred Goldman? Like, it's not real. He doesn't really work here.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure does.

[John Holmberg]

In full Brady fashion, he bows up, gets that weird little Brady walk where he's about 7ft in front of you, just starts marching us to the escalator. We go down the escalator, and sure enough, there's Fred Goldman with that little wax mustache and Brady at the bottom of the thing, like, how about that? You're right. That is him. And as we walk by, within 2, 3ft of Fred Goldman, Brady says, hey, Fred, where's the gloves, huh? And we walked off. I was in tears. It's a day I'll never forget, because I looked at him and I said, you're the darkest man I know, and there is no substitute for you. Thank you. I didn't ever do that. Yes, you did.

[Brett Vesli]

But everybody thinks he's the sweet, innocent guy on the show.

[John Holmberg]

I know he says stuff after like, well, it's fascinating that you're not looking through a microscope at this. Shut up. It's not fascinating to you. You're not that interested. You think it's funny. It's surface, and you move on. You knock me on my ass with that one. I haven't. That was one of the few that. Brady's one who grabbed the back of my head and smashed it into his groin at a. At a wedding because an old man was dying in front of us, giving his last speech, and I dropped a fork and I had to spend about 17 seconds weak because I was laughing so hard while Brady had his hand on the back of my bald head, smashing my face into his genitals through.

[Brady Bogan]

Through distracting. That. When does that opportunity happen?

[John Holmberg]

It was a great. Oh, no, I'm not saying you shouldn't have done it. Yeah, but you did it.

[Brady Bogan]

It was bad timing.

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't. It was ridiculously good timing. But it worked out. No, it wouldn't have been funny if it was just at the outback. Nice job. The fact that it was the most poignant moment in several people's lives. Like grandpa's last words to his granddaughter at her wedding. He barely made it. Died like an hour after the wedding. Barely could hear him. But what I heard was. Was Brady's little.

[Brett Vesli]

Did he have his laugh too going on?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. It was a little tough skinned suits for husky.

[Brady Bogan]

No laugh.

[John Holmberg]

He was dead silent tears. But I was comedy tears. I was. Yeah. We couldn't laugh out loud. We just had to. I have never felt a pain like that in my life.

[Brady Bogan]

I never forget that moment.

[John Holmberg]

No, that was a great moment. And you were responsible for that incredibly inappropriate thing. There's comedy in cripples, said Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

And what'd you learn?

[John Holmberg]

Not to. Not to pick it up. Don't pick it up. Don't pick it up. It's prison. I learned prison rules. Don't pick that up. Don't drop it. Don't trust the dude in the cell next to you. He will hammer your face into his genitals. Doesn't matter where or when. Grandpa had to be like, it was so bad. It was so bad. I wouldn't have done it to you because I'm classy.

[Brady Bogan]

He would have done the same thing.

[John Holmberg]

I would have. Grandpa would have had dropped the foot.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It would have been like the scene

[Brady Bogan]

in if you up there talking, giving your toast.

[John Holmberg]

No, it would have been like that. The end of Texas Chainsaw Massacre where they gave the dying grandpa the hammer to try to hit the lady in the head and he could barely do it. That's. I. I was. I was in trying to fix that.

[Brett Vesli]

Is there video of this?

[John Holmberg]

You know there is somewhere. Brian Hansen has it.

[Brady Bogan]

That video might. I don't know if it's still around because they're not together anymore.

[John Holmberg]

This one says John cursed it. Just think self righteous people who bitch and moan about dark humor secretly get their kicks about the most horrible things in the world. They just need to get the sticks out of their butts. Humor makes the world go round. Deep down, everyone's a butthole, period. You guys are amazing. Thanks for laughs. Caitlyn Coon. Her name is Caitlyn. I mean right there. How do you get that kind of win? That's an accident.

[Brady Bogan]

Look of the day.

[John Holmberg]

That is a. That is a comedy accident. Caitlyn Coon set it right Here. Their last name. She's complaining about people complaining. Her own name would get a letter. So don't forget. Brady ordered pizzas to a sorority house for a dead girl just to watch the girls cry. Didn't I just watched it?

[Brett Vesli]

Brady's being called out now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, because he knows, finally, we want you to be you, Brady. True you. True blue you. I'm gonna make shirts. There's comedy in them. Thar cripples. You're just a comedy mind. Nobody's going after. Let me film you doing stuff. All right. This dude emailed in and he's got. This is tough. We've all. Well, maybe I don't have. None of us have been through this. So the girl I have spent the last year and a half thinking about fawning over literally 18 months finally broke down about a month ago and we went out and had a great time. I have slow played this girl for so long and thought about her all day, every day. The date was amazing. I think about her. I'm melting. I feel like I'm in love. And I know I'm not, but it's just nuts. That's called limerence. Look it up. It's real. She's even better than I imagined while I was waiting for her. We've gone out four more times since the initial date. And finally she came back to my house last week and we made out on the couch and then had incredible sex. Best of my life. She said it was incredible, too. We kissed after we did it again. I held her in my arms. Then she got up and went to the bathroom and came out crying and said, I can't do this. I can't do this with you. Put her clothes on and left. And I haven't heard from her since. What happened? I'm begging you, Hannah. Tell me what happened. She won't answer my texts. I know, I know.

[Brady Bogan]

Christ.

[John Holmberg]

She won't answer my texts. She's never around when I want her be at home. I don't know what to do. I'm so depressed. I've missed work over this. Help me, Justin. What?

[Brady Bogan]

What were you saying about. You know the answer to this?

[Brett Vesli]

No, I don't know the answer to this. But you got yours. You're done.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's the problem.

[John Holmberg]

Consider yourself.

[Brett Vesli]

You finally got in.

[John Holmberg]

You're good. 18 months to get laid. Seems like.

[Brett Vesli]

Seems like a hell of a lot for one one off investment.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, you still got what you were shooting.

[Brett Vesli]

Got ROI on that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm just gonna say you're gonna. You're gonna have that mystery happen to you one time or another.

[John Holmberg]

I know what it is.

[Brady Bogan]

I bet you might not. I mean, you'll just go through a thing. You'll never get the answer.

[John Holmberg]

I know what it is.

[Brett Vesli]

She went through the medicine cabinet. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

That. You guys saw something. You got something in there. Or your bathroom's dirty. Chick will leave if you've got dirty bathroom. Like if you had a turd floater in there and she saw that. And that's your best foot forward. Your best foot forward has to be your kitchen and your bathroom. It has got to 100. Got to be. And you bring a woman back to your house and she doesn't see the bathroom first. And then she goes into your. Like maybe she'll go into that. That hallway bathroom that you don't use. You're like, oh, this one's okay. But she goes into your bathroom in the master and it is, you know, poop stains and hairs from shaving all over the place. And in bathrooms I won't pee in. I would.

[Brady Bogan]

It can also take just one text.

[John Holmberg]

But she. There was no time for that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

She was just in the back.

[Brady Bogan]

Or it could just be. Not even that. All of a sudden she starts thinking about it. I'm not ready for this, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

This 18 months.

[Brett Vesli]

She better know better at that point.

[John Holmberg]

Broke up with out for 18 months.

[Brett Vesli]

Well, it took her 18 months to get out.

[John Holmberg]

He's been. He's been working on this for 18 months. So she was slow playing him. He said he was slow playing. She was slow playing him. Like she's probably got stuff going on or 18 months. A long time. She was naked and told him, I can't do this. Something's in your medicine.

[Brady Bogan]

So.

[Brett Vesli]

Well, no, he did get his, though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he banged her a couple of times. According to the email. He now. A couple of times. Right.

[Brett Vesli]

Move on.

[John Holmberg]

That's all Brett's looking for. That's a long term relationship.

[Brett Vesli]

You're done here.

[Brady Bogan]

That's easier said than done. Right. You've been putting 18 months into it.

[Dick Toledo]

You're.

[John Holmberg]

He's in limerence too. Limerence is a scary.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

People lose. I've been watching TV about that. I saw an episode on it. Limerence. You can have it for stuff too. You make an irrational jump.

[Brett Vesli]

Limerence.

[John Holmberg]

Limerence is like you think, we've all done it. It's usually like high school where you go through that emotional like, oh, she's got everything. Like, this is it. I love her. And it's Immediate. Like your body releases oxytocin and stuff and makes you feel like you're on drugs when you're just talking to her.

[Brett Vesli]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And then you. But so you confuse. You confuse that with emotion. Well, it's. It's legit, but you confuse it with emotion, and then it usually comes either crashing down or it just goes away. But you've put so much time and energy into this that you have confused. It's the same way when women do it all the time, when they confuse sex with love. Younger women, a lot. When you'd bang them, and the next thing you know, they get crazy. I thought we were in love. I thought this was a thing, and they're. Oh, read about it. It's a scary thing. I know. I was watching Dr. Phil or something once, and that one always resonated with me because I was guilty of that all the time. When I was younger, I would get, like, a crush on a girl, and it would just end me because in my head, I'd play forward all these, like, oh, if she was just like. Next thing you know, I'm in this relationship, and she's not even talking to me, and my brain is, like, heavy in love and just a feeling that you knew, and you do that to yourself. But this is herpes, man. Well, if you didn't tell her about your herpes, you're an. But she's. There's. I'm with Brett. There's something in that medicine cabinet that triggered her. Or your bathroom's a disaster. There's something you're not cleaning that you. You know. You know what the big thing is? The toilet seat. You can wipe the edges if you've got that crusty yellow brown around the hinges of the seat. Dudes. Dudes, don't clean that underneath. Oh, yeah. Or it's just. Just like the back edge. Like, you might do a quick swipe. Yeah. And make it. And you think, well, there's nothing here but that there's something going on in your bathroom. Girls don't go to the bathroom and come out breaking up naked after. If she said, oh, that was amazing, and made out with you and then got up, went to the bathroom, came out crying. Either she lied about the sex or something going on there.

[Brett Vesli]

Maybe Keyshawn was texting her while she was in the bathroom.

[John Holmberg]

Did she have her phone with her?

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I'm saying. I mean, they're. Could have been. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She ghosted you immediately after. Also, Justin, congratulations. She's crazy. You just got 18 months think of it like Curly did from City Slickers. Remember, he saw that girl and it was the love of his life. And then Philly. Yeah, Curly. You gotta go talk to a Curly. I mean, what are you doing? Ah, she was the one. How do you know? You didn't know.

[Brady Bogan]

You gotta go.

[John Holmberg]

I know because he let her go. So in his mind, nothing bad ever happened with her. There's a really beautiful story Curly tells in City Slickers. Even though it was a. You know, also kind of a thing, is you don't take risks. You'll never know real true love. This was Billy Crystal's point. That's what he. She. You had 18 months of putting her on a pedestal. Seeing her as the most beautiful thing in the world and making her that. Let her be that for real. Then like Brett said. Then you smashed her duck out and she left. This is a gift from God. She showed her crazy the first day and she's a ghoster. Ghosters are revealed. She did you a favor. She doesn't respect you enough to at least tell you what happened. Good. No, Curly. This is no good. Curly, you gotta go. You gotta. No, you blew it. Ah, she was the one, though. She'll always be the one. Rides off like. That's a beautiful story. Curly never had an argument with the love of his life. Cause he never met her. He just saw her from a distance. He could see through her sundress. He mentally her. And then he told Billy Crystal it was the love of his life. I personally thought Curly might be gay also. And it was kind of a cover story. Yeah, he's on the range a lot.

[Brett Vesli]

No girls.

[John Holmberg]

I like rolling my own cigarettes and sucking stuff. Unlike you city folk. I get to watch City Slickers again. But I'm pretty sure Curly was a homosexual. Either way, congratulations, Justin, because that. That's a tough one. Or be honest with yourself about what's going on in that bathroom of yours.

[Brett Vesli]

The bathroom's a killer.

[John Holmberg]

It is a. It is a. It's a make or break.

[Brady Bogan]

There's the first place to look.

[John Holmberg]

I do it for. If you went to a girl's house and her bathroom was a sty. And women are gross in the bathroom. But if she had me over and I went in the bathroom and there's like a poop floating. And I could. I could think she's the most. It could be Dua lipa. And I go in and just. Well, Dua lipa could turn on me. That's different. But something like a bad example. Like a teemu dua lipa. Like you find her on the street. Stuff. Like, hey, you're close enough. And go to their house, and there's pubes everywhere and poop in the toilet and stains and gunk. Every. The mirror is all gooey and wash. That's a deal breaker. You tell me. You go to a girl's house and you think she's beautiful, and you go in her bathroom and there's a floater, an unflushed floater. You're done.

[Brett Vesli]

Well, and you gotta think of what

[John Holmberg]

else, you know, what else is she not keeping clean.

[Brady Bogan]

It could happen.

[John Holmberg]

You're an adult. There's no floaters. You walk. You don't walk. And Brady, you got people coming to the house. There's no floaters.

[Brett Vesli]

You got to do the double check before she gets there, too.

[John Holmberg]

If you're a pig. If you've got stains in your toilet and you've got company, that is for sure. Of course it is. Brady must have a lot of floaters. He goes to the defense. That happens. No, it doesn't. You sit and you wait. You look down, you make sure it's. You don't just walk away from a flush. Assuming you're sharing that with people. For God's sakes, it's your toilet. Somebody might use that. Last thing you want is a floater. Now that's a deal breaker.

[Brett Vesli]

Well, didn't you say you. You found something in somebody's medicine cabinet one time?

[John Holmberg]

Well, one time. Well, no one. Well, there's been questions, but it wasn't somebody I was having sex with. Oh, okay. All right. But I. My friend James went over to a girl's place, and she was like the girl everybody thought was the most beautiful thing in the world. And he actually took a picture. Pre cell phones.

[Brett Vesli]

He broke out the first digital camera.

[John Holmberg]

Well, one even. Digital cameras. It was one of those things you put that stick in for flashes you didn't need to flash.

[Brett Vesli]

It was like a Instamatic or whatever it was.

[John Holmberg]

He took a picture of her underwear on the ground. He had to go to her house and, I don't know, just watching her cat or had to go pick something up. And her underwear was on the ground, and it was full. It was pointing up. You know, the inside was out. And he called me from her phone. Hey, Johnny, what's going on? What's up, James? Guess where I am. I don't know. And he told me, blah, blah, Blah's house. I'm like, oh. And he goes, I'm gonna take a picture. I'm gonna show it to you. Like, all right. And a few days later, because you had to have it developed. He had a picture of her underwear. And there was a. Like, is the color of slimer from Ghostbusters. We don't know what it was. To this day, I can't tell you what. What that was. Maybe she eats a lot of green. Something blew its nose beyond that. Oh, it was neon. It was nuclear slime.

[Brett Vesli]

Maybe she had too much Midori the night before.

[John Holmberg]

It looked like that. Oh, if you made. It looked like Jello had been smashed into her underwear.

[Brett Vesli]

I was always room for Jello.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I guess there is always if it. You know, if it. Well, maybe. You know what, Brad? I never. We all just stopped talking to her like, nope, Nobody was interested in her. I don't want to be the one that finds out what that is. That her vagina has, like, bad sinuses. It's gross. James took a picture and ruined it for all of us. And it was one. It wasn't a. It wasn't the easy days of picture taking. He might as well have just gotten under one of those hoods from the 1800s and just blown that thing up about a month or so. I'll show you guys what I saw. He went to. He went to that one hour photo place. Like two days later, he comes up. What did you see? I can't tell you. At the mall when they're rolling down. Oh, my God. Those were the best. What? Those were the best. But yeah, he did. It was like three days later. Deal breaker took her from probably the prettiest girl in the. In the building to Jello. And we were out. It was the oddest color of green I've ever seen.

[Brady Bogan]

Weird key lime.

[John Holmberg]

But no, it wasn't that. It wasn't that. It was deep. It was almost like the color of your outback. Your old hunter green was so dark.

[Brady Bogan]

A little metallic to it or.

[John Holmberg]

No, it didn't have a. It didn't have a sheen.

[Brady Bogan]

It was forest green.

[John Holmberg]

It was a forest green glob mashed. I didn't do that. Thinking about it. It. And that was a deal breaker. So, Justin, back to you. Do you have your laundry in your bathroom?

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe been a while. And it was moss.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

Maybe he had some skids.

[John Holmberg]

He had some skids and some underwear. She saw. It might not have been in your bathroom. She might have gotten up. Senior underwear. Seen skitters? You're right out. What are you, 7? You got skid marks in your drawers. Your 7 year old man or you're a 70 year old now. Clean it up. I don't know what it is, but this one says from a woman's point of view, she left him because there's something wrong with his junk. Maybe he's not circumcised. That would be my guess. See? But why ghost him, Tamara? Why? Why not just tell him a lie like women are prone to do when they're breaking up?

[Brett Vesli]

Maybe he had some Valtrex in the medicine cabinet or something.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I was I said, yeah, something, something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.com It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness and I am thrilled to shill away from my friends at Turf Monsters. Turf Monsters doesn't just do turf either. They design everything about how you want to live. Sports, golf, pets, entertainment, pergolas, pool stuff, whatever you want. And the quality is incredible. It looks real. That grass. It drains perfectly. There's basically no maintenance, no mud, no grass. A backyard you actually enj. If you thought about upgrading your outdoor space, start right [e-mail] make your backyard the best room in the house. Check it out.

[Dick Toledo]

Turfmonstersaz.com College basketball fans FanDuel just handed you a tool that makes every college hoops parlay worth more. It's called the Boost Builder. You get a boost builder to use on any two plus leg college basketball parlay. Start building your parlay and each leg you add increases your boost all the way up to 105%. Just open the FanDuel app, choose your college hoops market, apply your boost token and watch the percentage climb. Head to fanduel fanduel.comkupd to get started 21 in President Arizona Opt in required minimum 2 leg parlay required bonus issued is non withdrawable Boost builder tokens restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amounts. See [e-mail] Gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to

[John Holmberg]

533-42-Sean Rockefeller he's blind, but he sees all. Says what kind of homo makes out with a girl after he has sex with her? She probably realized right then and there he was gay.

[Brett Vesli]

Did you invite her to the ballet afterwards or something?

[John Holmberg]

I didn't think of that. You made out with her after you had sex with her homo? That's hilarious. It says guarantee she's a Mormon. This happened to me too. After sex she started to cry and riddled with guilt. Guilt said I'm Going to my bishop. My friend Colin did that with one of the prettiest ladies I've ever seen in my life. We met her at a Ben Folds concert in 1996 at. What was that place? The. It used to be a concert place down in Tempe in the Hayden Square. Oh, Gibson's. Gibson's, yeah. And three stories high. Yeah, we met her. She was stunning. I mean, six feet tall. She was everything like the 1990s. And today would cons. Like, she had Kardashian hair back then. Huge fake cans, tiny little. She was beautiful. And we went to Denny's after. She was totally into my friend Colin. Totally into him. And again, Colin called me. Well, I closed the deal, like, good on you, man. And he goes, well, it's not good. Like, what happened? And he goes, while we're doing it, she's barking at me to finish up on her augmented chest. So I did.

[Brady Bogan]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I was the problem. I was like, this is all going as well as you could have expected. And then I interrupted her and I said, did you know that there's comedy and cripples? We'll get back to that. And then he said. He goes, no, he said, I. So I do it, you know, like, it was great. Plop down. You know, you do that breathing thing after. We're like, amazing. That's great. Great job. And he said. She looked at me and she goes, I gotta go. Like, why? She goes, had to go. And then she told him later that she ran to church to apologize to the Jesus for what she'd just done. And he goes, so that's over. Fast forward one week, he's doing it again.

[Brady Bogan]

Back over.

[John Holmberg]

She runs right to church after. Again. So there could be truth in what Kelly's saying.

[Brett Vesli]

Adam brings up a Good point.

[John Holmberg]

Adam DeVito. Here we go.

[Brett Vesli]

He says, did he tell her that he loved her? Yeah, I didn't think about that.

[John Holmberg]

The limerence will do that. Oh, my God. He might have said, I love you. Yeah, because you've been loving on her for 18 months. She just got there, right?

[Brett Vesli]

And there's a couple people saying that she might be married or have another dude on the side.

[John Holmberg]

And yeah, after 18 months, you'd know that. You've done your research.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I'm saying. I mean, that's where it came from. If there was a. Or someone that she'd been seeing for a long time. And finally, like, I think I'm ready to date there, and they're not.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, if they don't take care of their feet, they don't take care of anything else. That's a deal breaker.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah, if she's got circle K feet. But it's not.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not her.

[John Holmberg]

Right. This one says sexy time was put on hold months because I saw a guy's pee encrusted toilet at the base. I can't get lubed up after that. All right, thanks, Janet. It's real for us people. General cleanliness for both people and place. Very true. True. If you're not keeping your bathroom clean and you've got people over, you got a floater that lives with me forever. If I go to your house and there's poop in your toilet or stains and you knew I was coming, that's gross. You're out.

[Brady Bogan]

Good story too. I blew it. I had a floater.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if you had a floater in

[Brett Vesli]

the toilet, you had a floater.

[Brady Bogan]

No. Oh, I lost one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I once went out with this girl who was gorgeous. She was fun. We had a blast and went back to her place. Immaculate. But her bathroom was disgusting. Her toilet looked like a petri dish. And I never went back. Jimmy bats. All right, there's toilets.

[Brady Bogan]

We said there.

[John Holmberg]

If the bathroom. Check your bathroom. You spent the last 18 months wanting her over at the house. You should have at least spent a month of it keeping everything tidy. This one says limerence is an involuntary state of intense obsessive infatuation characterized by intrusive thought, thought emotional dependence and desperate craving for reciprocation. The song what a Fool Believes is limerence. Yeah, that's probably where I started like thinking, oh, I know what that is. And it was the Dr. Phillips. A fantasy driven, short lived experience marked by idealization, high anxiety, and according to Instagram users, in this YouTube video, you stem from underlying insecurity or past emotional deprivation. Bananas. You got a little bananas going. But it also can turn and work out. It can calm itself down, but it's a euphoria you've got to control. And that's what. That's what this Justin guy had.

[Brett Vesli]

Cody says she's saving him. There isn't one sane Hannah in this world. Justin should be glad he got out without getting stabbed.

[John Holmberg]

Now let's get into that. Any girl who's whose name ends in ah is pretty much nuts. Sorry. All the Sarahs and Hannah's and Farrah's.

[Brady Bogan]

Be prepared for a week later.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's coming back. Yeah, and it's going to be weird. Tiffany says breath is a deal. Breaker man. She wouldn't have boned him if he had. Bad.

[Brett Vesli]

Not after 18 months.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I mean they weren't doing anything for 18 and they went back a second.

[Brett Vesli]

Still, he'd know that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she would know. He was like, that's why she's going.

[Brady Bogan]

But he made out after.

[Brett Vesli]

Lots of married ones here.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody thinks she's married.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Guy says on text, he says, does this guy play baseball? Because I'm pretty sure he just banged Roger Dorn's wife.

[John Holmberg]

That's a major league reference. Good job. See, this is just awful. Says, what if she just went to the crapper and something happened to her and she noticed she's having an outbreak and couldn't flush or something. I don't know. That doesn't seem realistic. She just couldn't fly. She had to run home and poop. But she wouldn't tell you. Like she wouldn't just ditch you. This guy says she's married or she's got a boyfriend. She for the streets. Keep a trifling ass, walk around barefoot on them streets. Said, I know what happened here.

[Brady Bogan]

Dude.

[John Holmberg]

You let her get away. It's your fault. My girl would never leave Nathan Sutherland. That's true, Nathan. You've got it all figured out. Yeah, those pea encrusted toys, toilets, that's a big deal. You check your bathroom, Justin, and get back to me. And unless it's spotless and you might think it's clean, but if you left those corner crusties. I had a friend out. I wouldn't even pee in his bathroom. I went to his bathroom. Just hair everywhere. Pee all around the base of the toilet. Like it was leaning in mold.

[Brady Bogan]

Mildew.

[John Holmberg]

It was gross. Shower was just. Just the grout. Oh, and I'm like, I won't even pee in your bathroom. I'm going down the street. What are you talking about? I can't. I can't be in there. There's clippers. He knew I was coming over. There's clippers on the sink. Just. He. He had hair all over himself. Called him shrub everywhere. This one says she probably sensed how much of a little. This guy really. Oh God. Call him little wiener. This realized how little he was and decided to leave. Bro, you smash that, you don't have to deal with her talking to you ever again. Stop being a puss. Take the high fives from all us dudes and move on. Yeah, you're Curly from City Slickers. She was the one. You make up your own story now. You never fought with her. You never Had a bad day. You never cleaned your bathroom? Says my friend. Dated the hottest chick working at Hooters. She had thousands of followers on social media. When she finally smashed him, he said the back shot smell was so bad, he couldn't go back. Butterscotch and salmon, my friend. You don't want any of that in your house. Those sheets are hard to get out stains anything. Well, hopefully we help Justin. At the very least, we help some guys out there who have now finally looked at those two weird little screws on the top of their toilet that holds that seat from going up and down and realized, oh, I've never ever washed that. There's crusty stuff going on all over back here. Go get yourself some Clorox bleach wipes. Scrub a dub dub back there. And God forbid you need a toothbrush to get in the creases because you've let it go so long, it's calcified and crystallized. I've been. I've seen that too. And that's at like, public restrooms. If your toilet's like a public bathroom, no woman's sticking around. She was sitting there crying, naked, telling you she didn't want to do this anymore. She just hosed a pig. And unlike what Brady said, floaters don't just happen. Flush your toilet, you got skid marks. You flush until they're gone. You reach down there with toilet paper, you wash it, you scrub, and then you wash your hands. What are you, animals? Skid marks in the toilet. You're gonna live alone forever.

[Brady Bogan]

Forever.

[John Holmberg]

It's disgusting. And flush, for God's sakes. You have company. I go through every. Most of the morning music. I go every time I have a Steelers thing, I go into the bathroom. It's not even a toilet you poop in.

[Brett Vesli]

It's just a. I do it once again, double check over you.

[John Holmberg]

I always flush. It's clean and I flush just in case. Anyway, good luck out there. Everybody sounds awful. Poor Justin. Well, this is. Now this is just becoming a problem. This is from Steven Coon. Justin forgot to tell you you were paying her. That's a hooker. She needed to get to her next appointment. You're gonna get billed for that. Hookers never call back. They ghost you. Yeah. You may have fallen in love with hook hooker. What if she is. You don't know. Like, she's an only fans girl and she's got on. She actually likes you and realizes I can't do this because I've got this secret life. She. That's the listeners are on to something. There could be a secret life going on.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she's. She doesn't want to reveal to you her truth. Which is why it took her so long to be like, look, 18 months. You don't understand. I'm a online. I'm a hooker online. I can't have a relationship.

[Brady Bogan]

Just not over the relationship that you're in. That's.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty. But she could tell him that. That look, I've still got. I've still hung up on. Or he'd know. Over 18 months of working her. He would have. Look, she just got out of a bad relationship. She's still. That would be a thing you'd know. Right? And she would probably have had confided in him over the.

[Brady Bogan]

You eventually find out. But that, that'd be a way. All of a sudden. What if all of a sudden the guy ends up having to be. You know, reached out to her before

[John Holmberg]

and what between sex in the bathroom? She never. She never showed any signs prior to that.

[Brady Bogan]

What am I doing?

[John Holmberg]

She never. She still went through with banging him.

[Brett Vesli]

Zach's a pro here. He says, get a quick release toilet seat so you can deep clean quick every time.

[John Holmberg]

Those are good.

[Brett Vesli]

I didn't know there was an existence.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, you Jews are known for being meticulously clean. Is that an insult to people? You Jews and your clean houses. Was that bad? How did you try to make that bigoted? You know what I hate most about the Jews is clean ass bathrooms. Yeah, and I'm not Jewish. Stop it. The big nose.

[Brett Vesli]

My big nose John is team bathroom. I'm leaning into poor performance or ugly tool.

[John Holmberg]

She wouldn't have gone back for the second one.

[Brett Vesli]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Probably. She wouldn't have made out with you for sure. She'd have jumped. She would have jumped out of that. Yeah. If it was breath, if it was performance, if it was size, she'd have jumped right out of that bed. Run to the bath, bathroom. And if it was your penis size, she would have been like, oh, my God, I'm not feeling well. I'm sorry. I gotta go home. I've got something. She would have been. She wouldn't just.

[Brett Vesli]

She wouldn't have come back for round two.

[John Holmberg]

I can't do this. It's not. Yeah, this is a tough one, Justin. But

[Brett Vesli]

from a female's perspective, she's clearly thinking about someone else. She got upset after having sex because she was riddled with guilt. Yeah, she thought she could cheat on the other person, but that was not the case.

[John Holmberg]

I don't buy that. I don't. He would know after 18 months if she had a guy. And if she's gonna hold you off for 18 months with a boyfriend, she's not just gonna all of a sudden start going on dates with you. He said they went out four times. I don't think she's clear. She might have some. She might be pining for someone else privately, but I think it's your bathroom. What a mess. Anyway, we didn't even get to the NFL free agency. That was just great.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, we got time.

[John Holmberg]

Awesome. We got plenty of time. Cardinals making all the right moves. They got a puncher. They got a kicker. Resigned. James Conner, offensive lineman from the Steelers. We didn't want anymore. It's pretty good move so far. Cardinals excellent. You're looking at probably getting Gardner Minshew third jerseys next year. That's going to be.

[Brady Bogan]

Garoppolo's out of the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the Fu Minchu is here now and you can't pay him what you're paying him and Garoppolo and Jacoby Brissette. You got a lot, a lot of money and quarterbacks with no future. Gardner Minshew iii, the Fu Minchu.

[Brett Vesli]

Make sure you renew those season tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Pay extra.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Upgrade for and get a get a gardener jersey. That's gonna. That's a long term investment. The Minshu 3.

[Brett Vesli]

Didn't Dale say they went up like 40% or something from his.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if they were that high, but it was up something crazy. His brothers were super high last year. In the middle of a losing season, they're like all right, time to renew anyway. 7:37. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Burt?

[Brett Vesli]

Lots of stuff on the board, but of course it's brought to you by Modern Resolutions. Windows and doors. Get 30% off all windows and Doors. Mention John Holmberg and get an extra $500 off your total contract price. Family run, family owned financing and payment plans are available. Visit modernresolution.com for more info. And on our list today, Aquabats for John. Look at me. I'm a winner. Viking Kings. King of Kings. New Alien Ant Farm Head. PE Doobie Brothers. What a Fool Believes for Justin Green. Jello Three Little Pigs for John's co worker Ministry. Just one fix for Sick New World. Fear Factory. Mastodon for Sick New World. Terror. They're on Sick New World. Metallica. Another Terror request. And Pearl Jam once because that's turns 63 years old today.

[John Holmberg]

Well, here's the thing. Once is also the theme song for Justin and Hannah because that's the one time you got her. You want to do that? Yeah, let's do a little once. It's a great song, too. I love that song.

[Brett Vesli]

That's a great way to open an album.

[John Holmberg]

It really is. It opens a little bit with that. The release, the refrain, and then boom, boom, boom, boom. It's a great drum line, too. Anyway, and it's for you, Justin and Hannah. And again, remember, all Hannah's, all Farah's and ah Sarahs are all crazy if it ends in ah, run. Am I wrong? Think of one. Ah is the catalyst. Sorry, Hannah's Farris. Can't think of anybody else with ah other than that. Goofy Sarahs. You all know you got a screw loose. Get that silent H. Savannah, Savannah.

[Brett Vesli]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's another one. You got that silent H just hanging out at the end of your name like some sort of crack whore.

[Brett Vesli]

How you doing?

[John Holmberg]

I'm the H. Know what he talks about. They're lunatic. All Hannah's are nuts. All right, you got it. I got it. Once is so great. All right, here you go. This is for Justin. You got it once. Be happy with it, Justin. You know, you could be sitting back still waiting and wondering. You dug it out like Brett said. Move on.

[Brett Vesli]

You got yours.

[John Holmberg]

Wash your ass, though, by the way, Mo, because that's probably what did it. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, head fully erect.

[Dick Toledo]

Have you ever wanted to go to the NBA Finals? Well, thanks to our friends at FanDuel, you've now got a chance. It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's morning sickness. And all you have to do is use your profit boost on an NBA future and you'll be entered for a shot to win an NBA finals trip for two. So visit FanDuel.com KUPD for the info and to get started and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA, 21+ and present in Arizona. No purchase necessary. Limit one entry for profit boost token opt in required. Must apply profit boost token on select market. Restrictions apply. See full terms, including methods of [e-mail] gambling problem. Call or text 1-800- gambler it's John

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips Replaced because I was an absolute disaster. Before my surgeries, I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. The Core Institute.com still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Christopher Mahamadou, the winner of the Metallica grand prize, emailed, said, I was in shock yesterday when I won. I was going to dinner. Oh, and going to dinner with you sounds great, John. I was just worried I'm gonna be weird. I told you, I'm an engineer, so I'm a nerd. I'm socially awkward. We're gonna get along great, Christopher. Trust me. I'm socially awkward in the opposite direction. I make everything uncomfortable. I'm just that. And then you got jackasses like this, and it's a hard point to argue. What's that For a guy who keeps telling everybody you're not a Jew? How come just mentioning your name gets everyone a discount? All right, you know, that's a good point, Josh. No, it isn't. It's because I care about you guys. Oh, is that what you're going with? Okay, we talk about that. When I sit like, hey, look, great product and everything else, I'm like, like, listeners love a deal. Put Holmberg in the promo code. Save yourself another blah, blah, blah, save, See?

[Brady Bogan]

Save.

[John Holmberg]

That's good, though. Why is that a bad thing? It's like when black people get mad when everybody says they've got big dicks. That's not a bad Stern. And I'm not Jewish. I'm a poor man's Howard Stern. That's where that comes from. I don't really practice, but I do save. And like Jesus, I say,

[Brett Vesli]

those headphones fit over your yamaka today.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, that holds them. Holds it, holds it on. Hilarious, Jackass.

[Brady Bogan]

We can add that to the head.

[John Holmberg]

No, we don't have to add that to that. You don't have to do that. Although it's a good idea for Jewish broadcasters to have a yarmulke on the headphones. But I don't think you can take it off because then God can see the top of your head under the tent. And he doesn't care about childhood cancer fixing any of that, but he can't stand it when the top of your head's showing because you're showing him up. He's got some insecurities. This. This dude you guys worship. Take the hat off and it's disrespectful to the Lord like baby cancer. Any other stuff to do, who cares about top of your head? Don't question them. Okay, that seems silly. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by allprochade.com all pro shade. Keep you out of that sunshine that's headed our way. It is. It is flying at us right now. It is a train on a track directly aimed at Phoenix. And we all know it's coming. If you've got backyard space that needs shading or you got a window that's wide open to it, east west exposure, and the sun gets you in the morning and crushes you at night, get these all pro shade guys out to your house and get that fixed. Indoor outdoor living is the way to be. And these shades they put up can drop the temperature up to 20 degrees. That's how great they are and how well made and manufactured they are. They can actually change the temperature of your back space and make it a livable area, especially if you have it out there all day and you want to sit out there in the evening. Check it all out. All pro shade.com Brady reporting it.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Big day today. You got national pack your lunch day and national ranch day.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a bro move you're saying? Pack a lunch, bro?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, if you want to get into a fight affair.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that what. I don't mean to bring up touchy subjects, but isn't that what that lady who got shot in Minnesota said?

[Brady Bogan]

Pack your lunch.

[John Holmberg]

And she said to pack a lunch, big boy.

[Brady Bogan]

It's going to be an awesome friend

[John Holmberg]

that was filming the whole thing before she tried to run that cop over and then he shot her. Pack a lunch.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I think she.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't say it. It was the other one.

[Brady Bogan]

It was her.

[John Holmberg]

It was the mean lesbian that was walking around the outside of the car. And then she pack a lunch, big boy. So is that the kind of day it is or is it literally just pack your lunch day?

[Brady Bogan]

Pack your lunch.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. It says, like PB&J. It's Larry Day. It's Larry McFeely Day. Crustless PB&J's and seven Fritos.

[Brady Bogan]

Americans consume 100 million bottles of ranch dressing annually each, which is around 1.7 billion. No, that's 30% say they love ranch dress dressing. 35% like it. 18 don't have an opinion. 7% dislike it.

[John Holmberg]

It's okay. I don't get all the hubbub. I don't get porn it all over lettuce that.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's just say 15 because an 8% hater it. I'm going to put that all on a one. 15% don't like ranch.

[John Holmberg]

It's okay with wings occasionally pizza. But I don't. I like. I see people slather. I saw a salad last night, blue cheese. I'm like, why even bother? Yeah, it was ridiculous amount of glop on there.

[Brett Vesli]

So do you do with your salads then dry.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like dressing.

[Dick Toledo]

Dressing on the side.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even do that. I just don't like dressing. I like lettuce. I'm one of those weird. I'm like a rat. It. I think lettuce tastes great.

[Dick Toledo]

Get the wedge salad and you just take chunks.

[John Holmberg]

I would. I don't do it as much as I used to. Cut a head of lettuce in half, salt it neat. I love lettuce. I think lettuce is great. Broccoli. Same thing. Get me on some. I get a whole thing of that. I eat it like a big apple. I don't like dipping in ranch.

[Brady Bogan]

Couple of basis fun facts. Writer Jerry Siegel and artist Joe Schuster were the creators of Superman and they sold the rights to the character for $130 in 1938. All those dumb $3,000 back then.

[John Holmberg]

Dom.

[Brady Bogan]

Contestants on Jeopardy. All stand on platforms so they keep them at the same height. That way the camera doesn't have to always adjust.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, you always notice that. And there's a girl and she's up there and you can see like most of her. Like she's short, but you can see her from the waist up. And then some dude's shoulders shrink him down. Just keep everybody normal.

[Brady Bogan]

Richard Gere went to the University of Massachusetts Amherst for free while on a gymnastics scholarship. He majored in philosophy but dropped out after two years to pursue acting.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Because you were wasting your parents money. I can top that. I actually started to major in philosophy at a community college. College.

[William Hansen]

You were.

[Dick Toledo]

You majored?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know, but that was the thing I started to say. I'm like, this is the direction I'm gonna go. And my dad looked at me like philosophy. I think that's where we're gonna take your money. We're gonna take that's where I'm taking my talents to the South Beach. And he's like, I'm not paying for big college for philosophy. That's just thinking. I'm not paying for that. He wasn't wrong. But I tried it for a year and a half. I loved it. But I realized somewhere along the line, they teach you the entire time in philosophy not to listen to anybody. Right. Essentially, it's. It's form your opinions thusly and read and know what other philosophers say and expound on that. But it isn't your own thought. It is all your own thoughts. It is your own individual thoughts on a thing. And they tell you, you know, books can. Books can tell you what someone else said, but you choose what you wrote. So I can do that without them. It's no point in having a philosophy teacher because he just tells you what other people are. You can do that yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

Reno, Nevada, is actually west of Los Angeles.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Because of the way that California curves.

[John Holmberg]

I learned that in Abbey Lucen's class in fourth grade. Osuna elementary School.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. They put up the map.

[Dick Toledo]

They taught you where Vegas was in fourth.

[John Holmberg]

No, Reno. Oh, they teach it where? Reno. Maybe it. Maybe it resonated with me because I had a future in Nevada. But okay, I remember her drawing that line because. And the whole class like, oh. Cause we were all dumb fourth graders. Oh, she changed the planet. How you do that? How's that a thing? Like. Well, it's just because it's kind of California moves in. Yeah. But it's next to it.

[Dick Toledo]

I love the Brian Regan class.

[John Holmberg]

We were all fourth grade morons. She made that line. And then, like, I remember there was a kid in the class, John Collins. And now as an adult, I realized his parents were alcoholics. They had to be. And he went up and he tried to do the line, and he couldn't because she. She fooled us. And she put the map up flat. And you try to draw the line. It doesn't work. And then she's like, you have to have it on the curve. Like, oh, oh, let's try that again. My line keeps running into Mexico. Let my lines go to Mexico. Your line goes to the ocean. Because you're all idiots.

[Brady Bogan]

Evidently. We've been. We've been eating cereal wrong our whole lives. An etiquette expert by the name of William Hansen, first of all, yeah, you add milk of your choice to the cereal. Then you use a spoon and a fork. You put the spoon in your dominant hand and the fork on the non dominant hand. Oh, when you eat cereal.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't.

[Brady Bogan]

And he gives you example. It shows you how to know what he says. Then the just use chopsticks. Fork gently pushes the cereal onto the spoon so flakes don't splash or escape the bowl.

[Dick Toledo]

How sloppy are you eating your cereal?

[John Holmberg]

Calm down. Making splash. And by the way, where are you eating cereal? In the like high and mighty rooms of small mad bowl of honey nut Cheerios with the rest of the loyals that I eat cereal with every morning. Hello, royals. You eat cereal like a pig because you're usually alone. It's not an endeavor you do with other people. When's the last time everybody sat down had a bowl of cereal? With family past the Captain Crunch? It's been a while. Has it ever been a thing. And it's I don't have a bowl of cereal, boy. It's just, it's not a deal.

[Brady Bogan]

We got a pro bass fisherman that's being arrested. There was a pro tournament in Texas on Sunday and Curtis Lee Daniels was busted because he added weights.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's already been arrested.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I was led to believe that his arrest was upcoming.

[Brady Bogan]

Put some lead weights in the fish during weigh in. The winner was getting ten thousand dollars prize. He's charged with third degree felony. He's on a twenty thousand dollar bond.

[Dick Toledo]

I broadcast live at the bass tournament in that did.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you did? Oh, I thought that song did. I'm like, oh my God. You watched the bass tournament?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I had to call in and give. Give live updates out.

[Brett Vesli]

You had a remote from oh my

[John Holmberg]

God on the Arkansas River.

[Brady Bogan]

Awesome.

[John Holmberg]

No. Just when I thought you couldn't be more boring.

[Brady Bogan]

Look at that lunker right there.

[John Holmberg]

Broadcasting live radio fishing. I'm Dick Toledo.

[Brett Vesli]

The Arkansas Bobs were all over that.

[John Holmberg]

You know what it would have. Yeah. Oh, the Arkansas Bob have their own

[Dick Toledo]

code when they speak.

[John Holmberg]

It's exactly what radio guys love. Shh. Don't talk shh. That's not saying it. You're talking too much. We'll just broadcast fishing. There's no talking at all, you dumbass. What do you mean I'm talking too much? It's the only thing this job has.

[Dick Toledo]

Top weight this hour is Billy Bob Batson.

[John Holmberg]

He just came in with a seven and a half pounder. That's gonna be tough to beat for daily bass.

[Dick Toledo]

That's exactly what you say. If you can't beat seven and a half pounds, you may as well stay out on the river.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we'll be right back after I kill myself. Show me your Bitch. No. Another guy coming at me with a

[Brett Vesli]

stringer

[Dick Toledo]

because they have to make it by the top of the hour.

[John Holmberg]

He's got his limit, folks. He's a 10. Let's measure him up. Pound and a half. You should have thrown that one back.

[Dick Toledo]

What were you thinking?

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I've got terrible depression. I'm gonna drink myself to sleep for probably the rest of the month. Have a great night, everybody. Wow. What was it called? The Arkansas Saw. I have to look it up. Incest Fest.

[Dick Toledo]

I think it was like the Arkansas State Bass.

[Brady Bogan]

Not the Ozark Invitation Championships.

[Dick Toledo]

No, it wasn't in the Ozarks. It was in Little Rock.

[John Holmberg]

It was on the Arkansas river, or

[Dick Toledo]

whichever one goes through there.

[Brady Bogan]

And a poll about kdos should do.

[John Holmberg]

Fishing can't be worse than women's basketball or whatever horrible college baseball games they're. Corey credit.

[Dick Toledo]

He could make it sound good.

[John Holmberg]

No, he can't.

[Brett Vesli]

No, he can't. He tries.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about? Corey just mentions that it's a thing and we all go, oh, I'm sorry you have to do that. Nau. Women's basketball. Corey, you listen to. Yeah, we got a good audience for it. No, you don't. Nobody's tuning into AM radio at night for lumberjack. Lady Lumberjacks. Basketball. Are they called the lady lumberjacks? Wouldn't it be the Lumberjills? That's a good point. Lady Jacks.

[Brady Bogan]

Lady Jacks.

[Dick Toledo]

Isn't the jack just jacking around? Jacking the wood around?

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about?

[Dick Toledo]

I thought that was a term. Jacking the wood around or jacking.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's a. That's a derogatory term somewhere or it's

[Brady Bogan]

just everyone jacks their wood.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking. All right, both of you know, knock it off.

[Dick Toledo]

That's not where I was going. God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

Look how proud he is.

[Brett Vesli]

In a poll, he's over there strutting while he's sitting.

[Brady Bogan]

Did I move on?

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't, because you. We'd love for you to move on from stuff like that.

[Brady Bogan]

In a poll, 33 of people say it's rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the host. 16 said it's not rude. 52% think it depends on how big the party is.

[John Holmberg]

The ghost. The host of the party. You always say goodbye to the host.

[Dick Toledo]

Brady does.

[Brady Bogan]

They said, what do you mean?

[Dick Toledo]

He goes out all the time.

[Brady Bogan]

A huge party. Most people were saying, no, that's okay to do the Irish goodbye.

[John Holmberg]

Or you find the Host. Decent people. Find the host and you leave.

[Brady Bogan]

But if it's a 10, they said, what is a comfortable number where you. You need to say goodbye to the host. They're saying 10. People.

[John Holmberg]

People.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, if you're getting up from your board game and you just leave, that's kind of rude.

[John Holmberg]

But it's rude to leave someone's home. Enough.

[Brady Bogan]

If you're at a home, there's 500 people there.

[John Holmberg]

It's a pretty big house.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And second, you should find a host and thank them for hosting.

[Dick Toledo]

Boy, you sure can hear someone won money this morning in the way that they're speaking. Congrats on your gambling win. I can really hear it in your voice. Great win, ace. We all get it.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Bitch better have my money.

[Brady Bogan]

Got a woman in Missouri named Tiara Smith. She was arrested last week after she broke into a home and started eating Fruity Pebbles in the kitchen. The family was at home at the time, and woman says her son smelled something burning, so he walked downstairs to the kitchen. That's when he saw the strange lady eating Fruity Pebbles with a fork and petting the family dog. She had a fork in it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She's good. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The oven was also on, so she was.

[John Holmberg]

She's cracking.

[Brady Bogan]

His son ran and told his mom she called 91 1. The mother also confronted Tiara and demanded that she clean up the mess she made. That seems like an odd request, but. But Fruity Pebbles and milk were scattered everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

Wanted to let the crack horse day and clean up.

[Brady Bogan]

The police arrived, determined that Tierra was on something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No. Good job, cops. Wow. Detective Sarah on the case.

[Brady Bogan]

She later told them she consumed a bottle of marijuana.

[John Holmberg]

Say, Chief, I think this intruder is probably on some sort of narcotic. Wow. You don't say. Sarah, the lady covered in Fruity Pebbles standing in a house she doesn't own. You think may be inebriated. Wow. You should be the captain. Thanks, Chief. I was being facetious. I'll look that up on my way home, Chief. Oh, God.

[Dick Toledo]

Good luck spelling it.

[Brady Bogan]

And after drinking her bottle of marijuana, she said she was walking around and confused. Mistook the house for a fair.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that'll happen. It's good. That's good weed. That's all that is. Something, something. Check out homework's Morning Sickness Podcast and 98kupd.com. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my

[Dick Toledo]

friend Wayne from Amco.

[John Holmberg]

Wayne, it's tax time you filed and your refunds burning a hole in your pocket. That's right, Larry. Before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car Tax time's the best time to take care of all the car repairs you've been putting off. Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown. I'll say. If your car's been acting up, now's the time to handle it. Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs? No way. Amco payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check.

[Dick Toledo]

Google Amco for your nearest location.

[John Holmberg]

That's Amco, Double A, mco, Tren Transmissions, and a whole lot more.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo for Game Day Men's Health. You know, when you hit your 50s, you start noticing things. Your metabolism slows down, workouts take longer to recover from, and sometimes your body just decides it's not going to cooperate like it used to. They help guys with low T by offering oral and injection treatments, prp, hair restoration, and more, all with the goal of getting you back to feeling like your best self. And with 12 valley locations, there's definitely a Game Day Men's Health near you. You formulate your own game plan by scheduling a free consultation [e-mail] Holmberg's morning

[John Holmberg]

sickness this dude the one eaten with the fork? Yep. This is the cereal.

[William Hansen]

First of all, ADD choice.

[John Holmberg]

Splendid.

[William Hansen]

Going for semi and then with a spoon held in your dominant hand, you will eat. Now, it's not soup, so you don't

[John Holmberg]

need to Is this video trying to give me hiv? Well, how gay making this get to

[William Hansen]

push some Corned Flakes onto your spoon?

[John Holmberg]

He's kidding. There's no way he's got us all snowed. That is not real. That dude is goofing on us.

[Brady Bogan]

I've been eating it that way for years.

[Dick Toledo]

Let's check out his page.

[John Holmberg]

If you call it Corned Flakes.

[Dick Toledo]

A teacup and saucer in a world of mugs.

[William Hansen]

Did you know that it's actually very bad manners to correct other people's etiquette in front of other people?

[John Holmberg]

People.

[William Hansen]

It's much better instead to lead by example, even if that is just a touch passive aggressive.

[Brett Vesli]

Did you know have fun at the ballet.

[Brady Bogan]

The opera. He's an opera.

[John Holmberg]

All right, twinkle toes. I eat my Fruity Pebbles with a shovel.

[William Hansen]

You know, you can tell which country you're in based on when you're eating your cheese. In France, they will eat their cheese before the dessert event.

[John Holmberg]

All right, you're the weirdest dude on the planet.

[Brady Bogan]

So Cultured.

[Brett Vesli]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So cultured.

[Dick Toledo]

Followed by Brady Bogan.

[John Holmberg]

Is he?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, will be now.

[John Holmberg]

Of course he will. They find out how to eat cereal with a fork. You know, it's rude to talk about someone else's etiquette right before I implode my boyfriend's bottom. I usually tell him that smells a little off that it seems it's soured back there.

[William Hansen]

Trevor, from an esquet point of view, is having the cutlery hanging off the plate with the handles touching the table. Because the rule for any type of eating implement is no.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, are we gay?

[Brady Bogan]

You can check him out.

[John Holmberg]

And I just went cake by the ocean together.

[Dick Toledo]

William Hansen is his name.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes when I. I like to eat it with my face down, my hands behind my back, like I'm in a contest. What? Yes. I call it gobbling the

[Brady Bogan]

4 million followers.

[John Holmberg]

It's a delicious chicken trick I use. It's wonderful. You don't. Oh, try it with me. Tie my hands behind my back, put a delicious rooster in front of me and watch me go down on it.

[Dick Toledo]

What's the pillow for?

[John Holmberg]

Comfort. Wow. Afterwards, I like to have a nice cigarette.

[Dick Toledo]

You don't seem like a smoker.

[John Holmberg]

No, well, I love a. That's for sure.

[Brett Vesli]

He doesn't call him cigarettes.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing better than having a big white in my mouth. After the ballet. Oh, after we go to the ballet, I'm like, oh, I want to light up a socket.

[Brady Bogan]

But first.

[John Holmberg]

But first, I have to bury my face in this rooster. Check into my website for more tips. Ooh, tips. I'm Baldrick.

[Dick Toledo]

Another texter. Holmberg, please play some slots today.

[John Holmberg]

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's show. Oh, yes. Every time I win a hundred thousand dollars, you win. And comedy money makes me funnier. It's a dopamine patch.

[Dick Toledo]

Was Larry your mush trying to get you to stop?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, no, I mean, he hit me. I sent a picture of a huge, like, I got to a number last night, like, look. And there's like, for God's sake, stop. Don't you know when you just knock it off? The actual text was so fearful of me needing, like, help. Well said, John, you gotta stop. That's enough.

[Dick Toledo]

Enough.

[John Holmberg]

Collect your winnings and go to bed. Please, God. Yeah. And then he went on and on. Oh, how do you eat your tube steak, Brady? I do it whole.

[Brady Bogan]

And burn. Switzerland, the government. Government ruled that their Bernese coat of arms, the red bear penis, will remain on the coat of arms.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, thank God.

[John Holmberg]

Finally we get some answers.

[Brady Bogan]

Pull it up.

[John Holmberg]

It is pretty pronounced wiener.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I mean, you know, good for, like, a dog penis kind of. I didn't know if the bear. The bear had the red lipstick like a dog, but guess it does. There's this dude who'll pull up the coat of arms there, but there's a guy in Texas, he's running for mayor of North Richland Hills. 37 years old. He changed his name to literally anybody else, and now he's running for mayor. The current mayor is Mayor Jack McCarty. He says he initially decided to do it because McCarty was going to run unopposed. And some locals haven't. They don't approve of him. So literally, is. Isn't planning on fundraising or spending much money. Kind of a gimmick. But he did run for president. Didn't get too many hits on that. But the mayor. The run for mayor might work out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. People are asking if there's a. If that dude's eating a banana on his website. Find him.

[Dick Toledo]

I haven't found that one, but I'll look.

[John Holmberg]

Properly peel and digest a banana. Ooh, Watch me eat this. Slowly. Gulp. Yes. Don't use your teeth right away. Try to gum it off or turn your lips inward. I said inward. Give it a little suck and moisten it up. It'll soften in your mouth. Love a good banana. Why would he even have that? If you even saw somebody trying to eat cereal with a fork and spoon. Stab them with the fork.

[Brady Bogan]

Hang on. This is one. That's the burn coat of arms.

[John Holmberg]

Just wiener on there.

[William Hansen]

By the Terrence Higgins Trust, commissioned by the Department for Health and Social Care. Anyone in England this week can order

[John Holmberg]

a guy's rhythm who looks like a

[William Hansen]

normal man from freetesting HIV.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, geez. I wasn't wrong.

[William Hansen]

5,000 people can be living with HIV and not know it, which is why HIV testing is.

[John Holmberg]

So you catch HIV, eat cereal with a fork. You're right.

[Brady Bogan]

I just saw, as you saw briefly, the handle on the.

[John Holmberg]

Another brief. About that. That was 10 minutes ago. How long was that gonna last? Let me put it back up there. He broke his concentration.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought he was doing something else.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're. This is your thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that was. I. I don't have any Brady videos.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. That's what we needed to hear. Then you started to stare at him like, is he gonna say anything? A prick test. I saw that part again. Listen to what I call an HIV

[William Hansen]

test from Amazon, Superdrug, or many.

[John Holmberg]

He's going to do it. He's going to do A live video HIV test right there on his swab.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he said it was a prick test. I heard it. Yeah, play that again.

[William Hansen]

Hello. This week is National HIV Testing Week, a campaign led by the Terrence Higgins Trust, commissioned by the Department of Government for Health and Social Care. Anyone in England this week can order a free HIV testing kit from Freetesting HIV. Over 5,000 people can be living with HIV and not know it, which is why HIV testing is so important. It's free, quick, easy, and most importantly, confidential. These are the free testing kits you can get from freetesting hiv. They are the blood finger prick test, however.

[John Holmberg]

Just wanted to hear him say it.

[Brady Bogan]

Don't put it on your chest to take the test.

[John Holmberg]

It's not the only time that guy's ever said finger prick in the same sentence. Ah, that's good stuff. Bert, what do you got?

[Brett Vesli]

Apparently we have a video of Justin's place. This is what happened

[John Holmberg]

of the girl Hannah leaving Justin's. Okay. Oh, Jesus. His penis has like octopus arms on it. What is that? Oh, so he's taken his uncircumcised penis and he's flowered it. Yeah, he's peeled. He's peeled it back like a banana. Yes, Brett. It's a very good Brett. I heard Brady earlier. Oh, good Lord. What's happening in this video? I don't want to sex and trash traffic. Yeah, it sounds like they're on the freeway. He's just having sex with that weird penis. It's national pack your lunch day. Brady said that earlier. And what you do there when you pack your lunch is take warm fudge and gently rub your finger, press it into the hole you call your mouth.

[Brett Vesli]

And they know how much you love war.

[John Holmberg]

So here's a couple starring Donald Trump tonight on Fox. War. Ooh, big explosion back. Is that Tehran? Where are we?

[Brett Vesli]

Think so.

[Brady Bogan]

Rush hour.

[John Holmberg]

Still. I can't be Tehran cuz there's Internet. They wouldn't have gotten this video out. This is a phone video. This might be like Bahrain or maybe even Riyadh. Oh, it's a good block. Oh, they're coming in hot. Listen to that. Are we enemies with this group? Whoever we're watching get blown up. Am I happy or sad about this? I need more info. That looks like Chandler. Are people still just driving around? Around? I can go to dinner. Oh, there's a great one. You don't even see him coming from the sky. Another great moment. I don't know where this is, Brett, but hopefully it's a lot of dead Iranians under that fire. And if it's one of our friends, we'll get him. Don't worry. We've got till Wednesday, and then we're gonna get you.

[Brett Vesli]

How about this? Some extreme nerfing for you guys.

[John Holmberg]

Got his penis. What in the world? He's shooting needles into his penis. And it's got a st. The urethra to keep it upright. Oh, man. That noise is a. A nerf gun with a needle on the end of the nerf part. And he's just shooting it all the way through. What isn't an erect penis? It's propped up with. Oh, man. He's just. Oh, this is like the worst Epson of Gil Gilligan's island when the headhunters would come with those blow darts.

[Brett Vesli]

What's he got in the top?

[John Holmberg]

It's a thing to keep it straight. He's got, like, a rebar in the urethra to keep it. Oh, look at the blood pouring down as he's loading the nerf gun again with another hypodermic needle. And nerf bit. And he's gonna shut. He's gonna shoot it from the side this time, point blank. Man, that's like seven needles. How many nerf bullets does he have? There's another one's coming at us.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it the proper etiquette he's using?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yes. Yes, it is shooting you, John Thomas. You'll notice that he's not screaming like a banshee. He's just enjoying his afternoon abusing his genitalia. And I want him grateful.

[Brett Vesli]

It's a nice neighborhood for you.

[John Holmberg]

All right, we're at a ring camera. It says, this man wiped poop on my brother's brick wall. And they caught him on the ring camera. Oh, he licked his hand for. Oh, he's a doordash guy dropping off. And he reached, but he doesn't touch the food. But he has. He reaches in and he stink palms his hand and he puts it on the wall. Oh, Christ on a bicycle.

[Brady Bogan]

Here's your curry,

[John Holmberg]

man.

[Brett Vesli]

And here's a fun party trick for you.

[John Holmberg]

There's a girl's. A nice girl's great butt. Guy puts a Mick Ultra in the crack of this beautiful ass, and she takes the top off of it. That. I want to see that again. All right, that is. Not only is that a great butt, and it is really good. She squeezes her butt cheeks together and takes the cap off of a Mick Ultra. I think I speak for all of us when I say, will you marry me? Holy cow.

[Brady Bogan]

There's another.

[Brett Vesli]

Another fun party trick for you.

[John Holmberg]

The girl's got a glass. Proves that even an 8 ounce glass on her tongue, in her mouth. Back. She is deep throating the entire glass from underneath. It's got a drink in it. She shoves the plastic glass in her mouth all the way. Apex predator of the American Wow. She is now spitting out the liquid that was in the cup. Cup. And she swallowed the cup. What just happened?

[Brady Bogan]

Lady cobra.

[John Holmberg]

She just ate a plastic cup.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, Brett, you're loaded up. Here's a girl with her top off, jiggling her cans and her butts in a mirror behind her. I don't know what exactly she's bouncing about for, but I'm sure we're about to find out. Oh, she's got a pee.

[Brady Bogan]

Damn it.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a wiener. Why is it doing what it's doing? I would have had a thousand guesses. I'd have missed all of them.

[Brett Vesli]

And we'll just end.

[John Holmberg]

Show me that again. That's a woman. I could eat. Etiquette.

[Brett Vesli]

And we'll just end with this one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a woman on Adidas tennis shoes stomping on a guy's balls. Oh, my God. That noise you hear is her foot squashing his genitals into a plank. It's like a cornhole board. Oh, and he's got his wiener and his testicles through the hole. And she's just.

[Brady Bogan]

It's called the. The Cap Stomp.

[John Holmberg]

Why won't they break? Oh, they're so resilient. Oh, my God. That's about all I got. Look at those little bastards. They were springing back to life. I got you, buddy. Clearly, this is an attack, and we're not doing this voluntarily. Right? Right. No balls. I did this on purpose.

[Brady Bogan]

We like it.

[John Holmberg]

One of us does. Ooh, rebel.

[Brady Bogan]

Dre.

[John Holmberg]

O. I like it when your body. Oh, there he is again. Sorry.

[Brady Bogan]

Go.

[John Holmberg]

What he say? Oh, start it over. Can you do. You're. You're. You're not plugged in. Yeah, not on mine.

[Brett Vesli]

You gotta unmute.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you gotta unmute, dummy.

[William Hansen]

Hey, I'm a hugger. As they go to greet you.

[John Holmberg]

Hugger, hugger.

[William Hansen]

I was gonna hug on first meeting. I don't care if you're a hugger. I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

I always offer a hand, and then two hands. I go,

[William Hansen]

oh, that's so cringe.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do that. So you don't like when people says I'm a hugger?

[William Hansen]

No, I think we just all need to. To Agree that the etiquette is when someone says that to you, you go, well, I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you should hug firsthand because some people, it might make them feel uncomfortable. Especially hating that hug. When a filthy woman heads my direction with her arms open, expecting contact. Oh, yuck. I'm not sure what the jersey, the 69 jersey. I noticed.

[William Hansen]

Where'd you stand on people that say I'm a hugger?

[John Holmberg]

I'm a hogg. Usually behind them. I'm a hugger too. I just don't like face to face contact. That

[Brady Bogan]

William Hansen eats cereal with a

[John Holmberg]

spoon and a fork. Yeah, it's a good follow. So all the comments have to say, this guy's not real. Right.

[Dick Toledo]

I feel connected.

[John Holmberg]

I'm a hooga. I'm.

[Dick Toledo]

No, thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that just won't do. Anyway, if he's eating a banana, I think I could watch that for I like to eat the banana from behind. Yes, you peel it slowly while I chow down on the baits. He's weird.

[Dick Toledo]

William, come to Spain. Everyone kisses and hugs you as soon as they meet you. If you're introduced by a mutual friend.

[John Holmberg]

No, that won't do. I will offer a hand.

[Brady Bogan]

Huh?

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. There you go. Well, that's it. There's Brady's Brady report. And that was weird. It's 98K, Arizona's most powerful radio station. He said fully erect. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal. Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven day a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Another satisfied listener called TV's Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash. She reached out. Her name's Ashley and Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash as is, you don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online. @doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins1,800 sale now still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98 KUPD. Text the live performance of the podcast the Taping, as we call it. The live taping. And you my friends can get all over the Sick New World. All, all the artists we play that will be at the Sick New World show in Vegas on April 25th. All you're gonna have to do is listen on the app and on the. On the website because we are not a focused machine at all. We're all over the place. Not a ray. Don't listen to the radio.

[Dick Toledo]

Are we listening or doing the Brady

[John Holmberg]

Report recording in round? Yeah. What's going on with that? I don't know why that's playing. Oh geez. You know what's funny about that? It says it's the right thing.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Tuesday mid morning.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well just reset it. There you go.

[Brett Vesli]

So good the first time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Might as well just repeat it again. But yeah, we, you know, don't do that. Listen. Listen only on the app and listen only on. On the. On the website because the radio thing is like we're not focused on that anymore until we're focused on that and then we'll swing our direction back there. It's good management. But if you do that right now, you can click on the app stuff. When it says tap that track, you tap, tap it. You're automatically on the pile. We'll draw some names. Give tickets away to Sick New World, April 25. That is one hell of a show. I can't. I don't have time to rattle off who's there? Corn. System of a down. Not Chevelle like Toledo promised. Not at all. Not even close. Not even two years ago. Two years ago. Two years ago. I mean it's. It's a long terror is one. Brett wants to go see him dying. But ministry would be great to watch. There's what, 60 bands, 50 bands, something like that.

[Brady Bogan]

Knots there.

[John Holmberg]

It's incredible back. And they're doing that. Yeah. Readable list of bands. We're going to send you up there. Five people are going to get a pair of tickets each and one of you is going to get a VIP treatment. You're going to get the best tickets we can give you. They're amazing. A hotel room and a couple hundred bucks for you guys to play around with. So that's how that works. And all you have to do is tap the track on our app and our website. So do that again. Hopefully you all win. But only one of you will. But you can always play. I invited this myself. Second time this morning. But I'm going to do it because damn it all, they deserve it. We don't deserve them. Efren says. It's hard for me to even write or send this, but I know how much of a dog lover you are, just like me. And last Friday, we had to say Goodbye to our 15 year old Jack Russell. A tripod named Molly, a staple in our lives. Her barking and antics will be greatly missed. Our house seems unnervingly quiet without her. I wanted to share a picture with you, sir, and thank you for being who you are. Well, gosh, you don't have to think of me that way, Efren. That's nice. And also, so once again, that's a couple of cookies. Now we've had a couple of people email and saying goodbye to their besties. Hug your dogs. We don't get them for a long time. So as a quick reminder, when somebody's going through the thing, I just went through it a month ago with a dog and a cat. People are like, you're a cat guy. I'm like, I wasn't until this one. I loved my cat, Lucy. She taught me to like cats. El Gato taught me to love cats. Taught me all about how, how great they can be and they're not dogs. And I wanted them to be dogs. That's why I didn't like, I didn't like cats because they weren't dogs. And that's not fair. But man, oh man, they're special too. So sorry about your, your tripod there. And hang in there. You did a good job. You got them to the finish line. So cookies and hugs for our, for our pets today in honor of all the folks that email me every day, it seems and say, hey, we had to say goodbye because it's a never ending cycle. We don't deserve them. For sure. We don't. They're great to us and we should keep it that way. I got a weird take on this thing. I just saw a story about a guy who was arrested. He went to a North Phoenix mosque this weekend and started to shoot it up with paintballs, you know, and I'm thinking to myself, oh, that's pretty bad. But then in hindsight, I'm thinking, isn't this what the gun rights activists are dreaming of? Like, if you're gonna get a nutball to shoot at a place, Paintballs is the. They keep trying to ban all These assault rifles and things like that. And then my argument's always been, well, they'll just go to a lesser caliber. Well, if they get rid of, if they're paintball and stuff and that's the worst they can do. That's the, that's the mass shooting we're looking for, I think.

[Dick Toledo]

Can someone explain to me why the mosque was so lively at 2:30am?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. There's a lot going on there and I'm not even going to get into. Who knows, maybe they're on Tehran time, I don't know. But bottom line is this is what everybody on CNN's been screaming about for years.

[Brady Bogan]

Years.

[John Holmberg]

We want to get rid of AR15s and AKs and assaults and this and mags and the things that you can shove into the Eclipse that have the boosters and all that, like. Yeah, all right. They should be. I've always made that argument. If we get rid of AR15s and they say that's a body count problem, so we go to somebody shoots up the place with 9 millimeters, are you going to celebrate that it wasn't an AR15? Probably not. I would say that's the dumbest argument ever. But if it's a paintball, we should be pretty happy making progress. Apparently. Yeah, that's, that's gun rights progress. This guy hates Muslims, it's clear. But if the worst he's gonna do is pull a gun out, paint it, I've got a paintball. It's pretty. Just wash it off. They don't like the stuff that they put in paintball. Really easy to get off a wall. So score one for the gun rights folks. The guy still got his jollies off firing off at a mosque. The dream of a young man named. What is his name? Michael Dominguez. 30 year old dude who just had it with Muslims, but he didn't want to do too much damage. He just wanted to make his point. So let me put this out there. Since we can't stop crazy, let's give him ideas. You guys want to shoot something up, paintball, you're not going to go to jail for the rest of your life. Everyone's going to remember you. It's crazy. And the worst case scenario is maybe you put an eye out, maybe you probably welt up somebody. But if you're going to fire away at a crowd or you know, some sort of a soft target, this is what the gun rights people have been begging for. Use a paintball. Paintball guns. The future of mass Shootings. That's what we all got our fingers crossed for. Program. It's a great T shirt. Ask Holmberg what the futures of mass shootings are. He's got some good ideas.

[Dick Toledo]

He's a real go getter.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, when you look at him, you're like, what were you like? You're not. Like, you're kind of mad. Like you, you're mad.

[Brady Bogan]

Will it satisfy the craziness?

[John Holmberg]

That's the thing. Give him a chance. If you've got one of those kids and he's got a notebook you're not allowed to look at, that's his manifesto. Get him a paintball gun. If you're going to shoot anything up, use this. It's like what we were talking about yesterday. The, the cool parents that said, I know you're going to drink, but here, drink with me. So you just, you keep them away from the real stuff and you give them the looney kids a paintball gun. Now, I don't want the sentence is. But isn't the exact same mentality shooting up a mosque? Isn't he just kind of warning us like he's testing the waters there? If we let him out in a year just because it's a paintball gun, he's gonna do it, right? We all know that. Like, this is good chance. This is. This is when serial killers, like, take birds apart down the road. He's gonna dissect, he's gonna go for it. So maybe we should take paintball gun guy and put him away forever too. But quietly encourage it. Here's something I didn't expect, by the way. The guy who's a member of the mosque that they interviewed on Arizona's Family News, last name was Berkovich. I didn't see that coming. Call me a bigot, but I don't. I don't think of a lot of Muhammad Berkovich's. Why didn't you change the whole name? He said they had a sports night at the mosque and they were just kind of hanging around there muffing up after, you know, those big Muslim sports nights.

[Dick Toledo]

It could happen.

[Brady Bogan]

Was it a cricket match that went really.

[John Holmberg]

Here's what I. The, the story itself to me can sit on the guy paintballing the mosque, the interview with the Muslim Berkovich saying, well, of course it was a 2:30am Sporting we were winding down on at 2:30 in the morning after some heavy Muslim sports. I'm like, you guys are planning something. Like, I don't want to be. We're supposed to Say something if we. That's not normal. 2:30. I can wrap up a sports night way before 2:30. How deep did your Muslim sports go?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, when you, you know, think of some plays late night, you got to write them down now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but not with groups, not. Not with a bunch of other Muslims. No, no, that's what, you know, what you're describing, how 911 was planned. You come up with a couple of plays and you call your buddies, the team who's in and you say, all right, guys, I got some ideas. I want to draw them on the whiteboard before I forgot. Brother Bovovich. Yes. What do you need anyway? Nah, they booked the guy in aggravated assault and criminal damage. But I'd question Mr. Berkovich a little bit about that. 2:30am Sports wind down too. What time is it? Are we still winding down from Muslim sports? My God, it's 2:30.

[Brady Bogan]

What time is soccer practice?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, soccer practice. It's very early. We play very late in tonight. Killed. Maybe the guy had just had it. You don't want to kill anybody and just calm down. That 2:30am sports bar they had going that night, I don't think that was going on. And he would have said if it

[Brady Bogan]

was like pickleball or something, it was too loud. That's why I shot at it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you could be mad at the Dominguez guy for shooting up the thing. And you should be. But considering all that's going on right now and what the FBI and the CIA and the military and the president, Democrats and Republicans all said, keep an eye on stuff that doesn't look right. Any buzzing mosque at 2:30 in the morning has my attention. I don't want to be a bigot, but I am. I can't help it. It's just to see something, say something. I'm not going to shoot it up with a paintball gun, but I certainly might call my cop friend Ben and go drive around there. If they start running, they're up to something. We're playing late night basketball, Mr. Copper. What do you have problem with?

[Brady Bogan]

It's packed. That was the only time they could get.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, the court was all booked up for Muslim sports until midnight. I don't want to come off like a crazy person, but they're planning something. That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. That you tell your wife that when you're up to no good. We were playing basketball. Till 2:30? Yes. You were at the strip club. Oh, I was at the mosque planning sports. I don't believe you.

[Brady Bogan]

Fourth time this week.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why are you always at that mosque until the middle of the night playing sports with Muslims? Are you planning an attack? No. No. Yes, that maybe it's getting ready for the drags. Then they get them flying carpets. They were just tuning them up. Now that is. That's bigotry. Derek. That's not.

[Brett Vesli]

I wouldn't even go there.

[John Holmberg]

No,

[Dick Toledo]

You're a marketing genius. I see how this messaging gets out. Guns are for paintball is for real men.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Give me a real man shooting something up. Do it with a paintball gun. Lesser. Lesser sentence. The lesser sentence still kind of get your message across. But again, I think we're getting lost in the whole paintball gun thing. I think the mosque being full at 2:30 is something we should have our eye on. Paintball guns like Don Quixote. He drew her attention to it. He didn't go crazy. He's going to do time for it. Guys, I just wanted to let you know I didn't kill anybody.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh well, that's what.

[Brady Bogan]

No one was listening to me. I wanted to bring attention to.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody was being an asshole when I said what's going on at that moment. Mosque. What are you a bigot? God damn it. I'll just shoot it up. But he didn't kill anyone. He did it humanely. He paintballed it. Got in trouble in the news. Said At 2:30 in the morning a full mosque was paintballed.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like, oh, just playing Sports.

[John Holmberg]

I think Mr. Dominguez got it right. Why are you guys even in there? We're allowed in our mosque.

[Brett Vesli]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're not. 2:30 in the morning. This thing's closed. Not. Denny's never sleeps. Right. So you get him tomorrow. You're to going good. Was Scott Haynes makes a good point. He said did the guy shooting up the mosque paintball out? I love you. Hannah on the side. No, it wasn't our earlier email. Losing his mind. But yeah. All right. I think he might be a hero. My take on this one is that we're all. We're all kind of lost in the idea that he paintballed up a movie. Mosque we see you is what he was saying. Sports is not a good excuse. I'm. You practice your religion and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

But yeah. There's a meeting going on at the mosque in my neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care.

[Brady Bogan]

Sir, we need you. You need to go to bed.

[John Holmberg]

Mosque is worse. But any meeting that breaks out in a area at 2am and there's no drinking.

[Brett Vesli]

You're not.

[John Holmberg]

And Muslims don't have sports, do they?

[Brett Vesli]

I got soccer.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, not. We're just here.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah, the Iranians were playing here.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly my point. The Iranian soccer team's here. You got this going on at 2 in the morning. That's the only sport they've got. And that's not Middle Eastern sports. They just play it like we do. They're not going to win anything.

[Dick Toledo]

Same as the US they're just going through the message.

[John Holmberg]

That's what we're doing. Men's U.S. soccer.

[Dick Toledo]

Five of them defected.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the women. Women's team. Who knows what's going on there? Either way, we got an eye on you, Mask. I'd be curious if a bunch of Christians just started loading up at 2 in the morning. I'm like, oh, I think they're up to something. And I'd be. You know what I'd be looking for? Tiny shoes and like propeller hats. Because that's who they've abducted and that's what they're doing to me. That's what I'd find that a bunch

[Brady Bogan]

of young boys coming out of there after a sports event.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're just doing, for kids, youth sports. Oh, no, no, no, no. You dudes in dresses don't ever do youth sports. Sports. You'd be curious at a bunch of dudes and dresses at the, at the, you know, Christian place. Just talking about sports. You've got a history. Where are the babies? No, no, we're not doing that anymore. Nah, you don't need to meet at 2 in the morning for anything.

[Brady Bogan]

So you were bawling? Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, with the kids. Lamb of God. You're not selling me on that one. You're in a dress. Nobody plays sports in a dress, even women. Yeah, it's a bad excuse, but I want to say I think he's a hero. I'm going to go out on a limb. I'm going to go early on this one. Michael Dominguez is a hero. I'm not saying you should shoot up all mosques, but if you're trying to tell your friends that the mosque is too busy for your liking in the middle of the night and no one's listening, maybe throw a couple of paint splatters out of it.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm just saying Dominguez wants to let you know.

[John Holmberg]

Look, his last name is Dominguez. Just be happy it wasn't Krylon. This stuff will come off anyway. I see you, Michael Dominguez, and thank you, brave citizen. Nobody got hurt.

[Brett Vesli]

It's all that matters.

[John Holmberg]

But he did draw the attention. That's okay. It's 2 in the morning. I don't think the neighbors will hear our recent sport. God damn it, Muhammad. I told you. Okay, now people are going to know. Now our baseball argument is shot.

[Brady Bogan]

Cancel handball.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we have to cancel out. No, that was just. We had an incident with the pickleball. Hit the sterno and it leaned over into a kettle and then propelled. It was an accident. If he does it again, he can't be with us anymore. He's clumsy. He's like the scrappy do of the Muslims. Do you think they've got one? I guess they have to.

[Brady Bogan]

They have to.

[John Holmberg]

They've got like, Scooby Doo and Muzzy, too. And Muzzy Dumb.

[Dick Toledo]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how it works. Anyway, nice job, Dominguez. We got ourselves some hot releases coming up a little bit. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful radio station. He said fully erect. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about my friend, TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group. And doughotkins.com Doug buys houses for cash, as is. No repairs, no showings, none of that usual stress. He knows the Phoenix market inside and out, and he makes the process simple. You need to sell fast. Divorce, relocation, inherited property, whatever, tv. Doug Hopkins is a guy who puts his money where his mouth is. Start the process@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing along. It's John Holmberg here for Life Changer loans. Whether you're buying a home, trying to refinance or improve things financially, you got to focus on one thing, Clarity. You don't have to do it the old way. Life change you, loan is here to help. Call my friend Shane o' Grady at Life Changer loan and see if it's for you. Good credit, good with money. There is more than just the old fashioned bank loan. And if you want to see what's possible financially in your life, that's different than what you're doing now. [e-mail] Life Change your loan. It's not magic. It's just math. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] I want to say thank you to this angel. They do this like on pbs. You're one of our KUPD angels, Kenny Nakala. Kenny Nakala emailed and said, I dropped off a whole case of Coke Zero for you boys yesterday. Thanks for the morning laughs. Hope they all made it to you. Didn't include a name. Just said thank you on the thing. Didn't know. And it got the email from Kenny just now. He works at Glendale Marine Boat repair and service. And for my money, there's no better boat repair and service company in all of Glendale.

[Brady Bogan]

Glendale,

[John Holmberg]

Am I wrong? Name another one. Nope. Thanks, Kenny. That was really nice. I don't know if it's poison or not, but

[Brett Vesli]

take your chances.

[John Holmberg]

People like the idea of Scooby Doo being Muslim now. I've gotten a lot of emails about that. They want a treatment, which of course would be simple, like, we gotta kill the infidel scoop. Yeah. Thank you very much. I'll be here all day. Just a quick little bumper into the hot releases. It's time now for your hot releases. And they are all the new music, movies, TV shows, quickly streamed or whatever you want to do. Toledo, you tell us what's on tv. Brett will handle the music.

[Brady Bogan]

Go.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, so the big game release this one week and it comes out, I believe on Friday is WWE 2K26.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so that's here Friday night. We got ourselves a little WWE here. That hot girl. Oh, that's that girl that was in here with us.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

This isn't the game trailer.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't. That's just a bunch of hot girls about to wrestle.

[Brett Vesli]

Screw the game.

[John Holmberg]

Why did you turn that off, you son of a. Idiot. That was getting good.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, here's the Steve.

[John Holmberg]

This is the game itself. There's the Rock. Rowdy Roddy.

[Brett Vesli]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

The old school. There's Hulk. The late Hulk Hogan.

[Brady Bogan]

The cave.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, it's digital redneckery and I love it. That's pretty cool looking. I don't know how. Oh, look. And that's. You can like it all day. I'm not saying I'm. I'm the one ignorant to it, but how in the world world are you entertained by that on a video game? When really the reason you watch wrestling is for the stuff in between.

[Dick Toledo]

Exactly. For the storylines.

[John Holmberg]

So is the game like.

[Brady Bogan]

Because you're just doing the moves? I think.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

But does the game give you the storylines, though?

[John Holmberg]

Do you care?

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe it does.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesli]

I never played any of the rest.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't either because it seems like off the turnbuckle. I want to know if. Who's. Who's banging, you know, Seamus's wife? Like, that's the. It's a soap opera opera. It's like playing Days of Our lives Wrestlers.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, see if you like this one. This one popped up. This is being released this week.

[John Holmberg]

It's called Corgi Race. Oh. It's like the Queen of England hopping their favorite streamers leaderboard. So you actually have digital corgis.

[Dick Toledo]

Digital Corgis. And you get a. You get a watch or you can

[John Holmberg]

actually play and you can bet on them.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know if you can bet real money, but, yes, you bet on them to win, place, or show stats

[John Holmberg]

and other info that you need. And then they have the race itself. With fake corgis, I believe. So the word. I would say these are two real guys. I think that's David Mahoney. Is that not there? Is that why they leave so often just to go do this? That might be it.

[Dick Toledo]

Did I find a hard time finding any game?

[John Holmberg]

So there's absolutely trailers. There's no footage of the fake corgis running the race. There's just David Mahoney telling us that they're about to.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

All right, all right.

[Dick Toledo]

The big release on Prime Video this

[John Holmberg]

week is Scarpetta I, Dr. K. Scarpetta.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah, sorry. Starring Nicole Kidman.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. She. She delusions live inside Nicole's head that she thinks she can. She's doing what?

[Brady Bogan]

Train.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but she's making. She's making the point Team America made about how actors think. Of course I could fight. I've been in action films. Like, they. They think that they're experts just because they played the part of someone. I can do this job.

[Brett Vesli]

Shayla Booth is always trying that.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, exactly. Exactly. He plays drug addicts, and he's living. She says that she can now do autopsies because she played this part. Pretty hard to resist. Right? I think you have to go to school for that.

[Dick Toledo]

Not according to you.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I can. I can perform one. But I didn't say it by the

[Dick Toledo]

end of the week.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I didn't say professionally. She made her. She made it out. Like, if you.

[Brady Bogan]

If you need trained with doctors.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's like, in a pinch, I could pull that off and no one would know. You would know if I performed your autopsy. Have you ever seen me carve a chicken or a turkey? You'd know, like eating one of those Safeway roasted turkey chickens.

[Dick Toledo]

You're not good at it.

[John Holmberg]

No. Oh, it's a disaster. Oh, no. Yeah. No, I'm not good. All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Out on Netflix is the.

[John Holmberg]

I'm bad at cutting tags off of shirts.

[Dick Toledo]

The soap opera Virgin River, Season seven.

[John Holmberg]

You feeling Ready?

[Dick Toledo]

Newly married Melon Jack pursue their dream of adopting a baby while old love smolder and new threats challenge Virgin River.

[John Holmberg]

Virgin River.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

It is out for most people. Madison is the latest Taylor Sheridan spin off coming to Paramount.

[John Holmberg]

Plus Michelle Pfeiffer and Kurt Russell he's writing with. He's got Claude doing the work. Down to the river and Bugle. And it drives the lady elk crazy. They bugle. They bugle. I remember. Remember when you used to be a goal Pfeiffer? Looks pretty good. Memories. It's like a movie. We can play it over and over. She's just a pretty lady.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Kurt Russell's still cool even though he's like 75.

[Brady Bogan]

It's amazing.

[Dick Toledo]

That's basically it. It's a light week this week.

[John Holmberg]

Triple hate hearing it, but men his age are usually all washed up and they don't look good anymore. But just a man mess. Kurt Russell's prover missing.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, He's. Well, there's no reason to celebrate it that way. Jesus. That was a real pot shot.

[Dick Toledo]

You're going to be called into the office today.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you. Why did you say that? Get that toothpick. Has he got a. He doesn't got to fix that. It's funny, though, because he'll look at you.

[Dick Toledo]

Took bread a month to get into the dentist.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point. Yeah. That's a good point.

[Brett Vesli]

Tripp's got more money than me. He can get right in. That's not a big deal.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a matter of when. It's just a matter of how I get my schedule aligned.

[Brady Bogan]

It's ivory, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. It's being made from the tusks. The tusk of an elephant breed. That's endangered. I spent extra. Our boss has a tooth out. Go ahead.

[Brett Vesli]

All right. We're kind of light, too, on the music side as well, but we played some new music from Lamb of God. But here's another track from it. This is Blunt Force Blues from their new album into the Oblivion Capture reopen.

[John Holmberg]

I like the music a lot. I don't care for delivery.

[Dick Toledo]

You got against alabaster.

[John Holmberg]

I just don't like the. I don't like their. I don't like this. Sounds bad. I Lamb of God fans lose their mind. I not a fan of him. Oh, just think his voice is like it sounds. That's fair. I don't know. I just. I love the music, though.

[Brett Vesli]

New stuff from the Black Crows. This is. It's like that and not the DMC song.

[John Holmberg]

The Rolling stars at the beginning. Pound of Feathers is the new album, and it's out, too. Whole album.

[Brett Vesli]

I don't know if the whole album's out.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, baby, can you help me? Can't you see that I oh, yeah, my girl. That's me.

[Dick Toledo]

Got a little Casper Hepburn going now.

[Brady Bogan]

This is just me.

[John Holmberg]

He's always there. It happened before, it happen again. I always feel like Chris Robinson's singing and someone's trying to pull him away from the microphone so it sounds like he's fighting to get back to it. They're so good, though. That's a cool song. I like the Black Crows. They're great.

[Brett Vesli]

We'll go back to that one. Here's the new stuff from Dan. It's a cover of the Dr. John song, right Place, Wrong Time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. I know you got way excited about that. Dr. John is.

[Dick Toledo]

Sing it. Let him sing it.

[John Holmberg]

Do it.

[Brady Bogan]

I was in the right place all

[John Holmberg]

right at the wrong time Turn up your in, Brett. I'm all the way. All right down get to it. Scooch your head, Bread. I've been on the right trail But I must have used a wrong car Head is in a bad place and I wonder what's good all right. Expect it to pop a little more.

[Brett Vesli]

All right. And everybody always asks about the Marilyn Manson fake songs. Well, here's another one.

[John Holmberg]

Another AI, M.D. man, which is better than most of us.

[Brett Vesli]

This is slaughtered.

[John Holmberg]

It's already good. Oh, I Rome loves a clean ending. It's gonna be great, isn't it? Sterilite, Obedient Faces. It's gonna win album of the year.

[Brett Vesli]

These guys are better than Merrill. Man's hat.

[John Holmberg]

How is it doing this? The crowd stays calm on purpose. The hands stay warm and dry. Everything looks delicate, civilized when the damage happens off camera. Damn it, I want this album.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Give me the floorboards. If the floorboards coming right here. Pressure doesn't lose control. It perfects it. Slaughtered in slow motion. Come on. AI is 10 times better. Put your guitars down. We're done.

[Brady Bogan]

That's great.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's as good as the last fake one they put out with him.

[Brett Vesli]

No, it's great.

[John Holmberg]

That's the perfect marriage. AI and Marilyn Manson are meant for each other.

[Brett Vesli]

Here's one for you. Selena Gomez and Dua.

[John Holmberg]

Wait on me. Shh. Everybody shut up. Brady, walk everybody on the hallway and shut the door behind you. Please leave me alone. Oh, is that. Oh, there's two. It's a computer. Maybe she's emailing me. Oh, face.

[Brady Bogan]

Dirty feet in this.

[John Holmberg]

I don't care about the other guys. Take our time. Okay, I can't watch this.

[Brett Vesli]

Keep your hands above the console.

[John Holmberg]

Look at and I hate that I

[Brady Bogan]

have to ask it.

[Dick Toledo]

This is real, right?

[Brett Vesli]

As far as I know,

[John Holmberg]

it's real to me. Damn it.

[Brady Bogan]

Believe.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's enough.

[Brett Vesli]

I think it's real. I don't know. You don't know anymore? You don't know. And some it's even better than how about. Have we done bang bang the band 50s song.

[John Holmberg]

No. Bang bang me in the butt is what it says. So John Lovitz Search classic. I'm a five and he's a six we drank too much that candy said he said turn around, little miss and I giggled and I said okay, I guess Bang bang. I turned around bang bang I felt him pound bang bang that naughty sound he bang banged me in the ass he started to swell I got hot leather jackets devil grin all right, that's enough. All right.

[Brett Vesli]

And then we'll do one more.

[John Holmberg]

Do us. Sing that.

[Brett Vesli]

This is Teddy Banks.

[John Holmberg]

This is an AI angry 70s black man singing hairy coochies. Of a very intimidating man petting a cat, huh? This ain't Teddy different. This is my 12:30 kiss guy. I don't like them boys like. Teddy likes grown women. Fully grown, baby. I ain't here to tell nobody what to do. I'm just telling you what Teddy likes. Come here now. All right. Let me talk to you, girl. Sing it, Teddy. I ain't judging, baby. Ain't telling you what to do. I'm just trying to hold on to that secret special part of you. It's gonna get good. Can shave your legs, shave under your arms. But don't touch that kitty, girl. That's part of your charm. Oh, I like some natural, wild and free. That little bit of fur do something to me. Here it comes. Yeah. Ted don't want it all. I don't want it waste. I want to see that womanhood right in place. Oo soon as Teddy see that bush, my heart start racing. That grown woman look gots me out here misbehaving. I love the video that comes. Staring at me petting a cat. You know I'm hooked. You gotta hurry up. I know Penny even tested you yet, but Teddy already shook. Say it, Teddy. I ain't saying what you got to do. I'm just telling you. And move, Teddy. That softness, that warmth, that grown woman signal. Steady little girl's bed. Grown women's night E. That's just how Teddy mind connect its dots. That natural feel still makes me lean right in. I want to hear it to the chorus. That's what wake up that grown man. There it is. Worth. Wait. Natural kitty.

[Brett Vesli]

All right, we'll do this one quick because it's right up at the beginning. So this is exhibit time for N word or N word.

[John Holmberg]

The game of the sweet. Not N word or N word. That's just repetitive.

[Brett Vesli]

That too. This is history from exhibit.

[William Hansen]

Exhibit.

[Dick Toledo]

Brady, you won Angry.

[Brady Bogan]

N word.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah,

[Dick Toledo]

I'm gonna go F word.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna. I know Brett because he said N word or N word that it's on his mind. So I'm thinking it's friendly. I'll go friendly. Go ahead. I could write a book on how these hating go. That's an angry one. I think I'm gonna have to give Brady the win on that again. Two in a row. Nice job, Bogan. All right, what's Teddy's name?

[Brett Vesli]

That's Teddy Banks.

[John Holmberg]

Teddy Banks.

[Brett Vesli]

The big hit Harry Coochies from the 1976 unreleased Soul Funk grooves.

[John Holmberg]

I like a grown ass Woman's. That's my. That's a phrase to pace. There you go, everybody. Those are the hot releases along with the AI Everything that's taking over the world. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Support for this podcast comes from Progressive America's number one motorcycle insurer. Did you know? Riders who switch and save with Progressive save nearly $180 per year. That's a whole new pair of riding gloves and more. Quote, today Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $178 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between October 2022 and September 2020 23. Potential savings will vary. Support for this podcast comes from Progressive America's 1 motorcycle insurer. Did you know? Riders who switch and save with Progressive save nearly $180 per year. That's a whole new pair of riding gloves and more. Quote, today Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $178 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between October 2022 and September 2023. 3. Potential savings will vary. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] it's time for Brady to give you entertaining news now. It's called the entertainment Drill and it's brought to you by our friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Schwartz Laser Eye center has three locations. Something's close to you. And take care of those eyes. Dr. J. Schwartz has the complimentary consultation awaiting you if you want to see if you're a candidate for lasik. If you've got something going on like I had, you got a cataract sitting in your eye. I had that a few years ago and then just recently had my eye completely explode, nearly fall out of my head, and it got fixed. But you can get ahead of the game for sure. I recommend it. If you've got anything going on. Floaties. That's the thing I'm learning. Those floaters, your eyes are designed to ignore them. And when they're not, that means you've got. It's like roaches. When you see one, you've got millions more you don't know about. Same thing going on with the floaters. If you got floaters in your eye, that is a way your eyes trying to tell you, hey, something right? And I wish I'd have listened. That is for sure. I'm too stupid, though. I was batting away gnats at the house and I get in the car, I'm like, these gnats are following me everywhere. And then I come to work, I'm like, we've got a nat problem at work, too. There were floaties the whole time, so pay attention to that. Dr. J. Schwartz and his team will make sure you're taken care of and get you on the proper path to see in 2020. Once again, my eyes are 2025. Both eyes. I'm lucky to have kept the right one, as the more I read it about it. Didn't realize how close I was to like detrimental eyesight damage. So you don't want that. Dr. Jay Schwartz. They take care of the Suns and Diamondbacks for a reason. And that's why they'[e-mail] it's the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Brady, entertain me.

[Brady Bogan]

Arnold Schwarzenegger will star in sequels to Predator, Conan and Commando.

[John Holmberg]

No, thanks.

[Brady Bogan]

And Sylvester Stallone is producing a John Rambo, a prequel to First Blood.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady Bogan]

It'll be starring Noah Centennial.

[John Holmberg]

Don't care. That can't be right. Anyway. Nope, nope. All ideas are bad ideas. We liked it. Leave it alone.

[Brett Vesli]

I was like when they did the the Sopranos prequel. Terrible.

[John Holmberg]

Turned out to be unnecessary and forgettable.

[Brady Bogan]

Stallone signed on as executive producer of John Rambo, the sequel to First Stop the First Round.

[John Holmberg]

Stop it. You've milked the character dry.

[Brady Bogan]

Arnold will actually star in his.

[John Holmberg]

No, he won't. He'll be. He'll do a.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, I'll be doing some stuff.

[John Holmberg]

He's 77. He's not going to do.

[Brady Bogan]

And I will kick ass like a 77.

[John Holmberg]

It will be all right.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I'm not gonna be doing the same stuff that I did.

[John Holmberg]

Not doing anything.

[Brett Vesli]

He got a body double or something for Conan. I mean,

[John Holmberg]

with all of the sloppy skin and all of the chicken skin. I don't like it.

[Brady Bogan]

He says they don't write them like I'm 40 years old. No, I'll write it age appropriate. I'll still go in there and kick some ass, but it'll be different.

[Brett Vesli]

You think?

[John Holmberg]

Tone into hospice, Arian. I'm checking into hospice and I'm going to kick ass at it.

[Brady Bogan]

Pulling plugs on people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They're going to kill you all by taking away your medicine in your corn.

[Brett Vesli]

They're gonna bring Grace Jones back for the sequel too.

[John Holmberg]

She's still alive? I think so, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I thought she was maybe. I don't know. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. She can be in there too, as the nurse.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if he don't like

[John Holmberg]

it here in the hospital.

[Brett Vesli]

She's 77.

[John Holmberg]

Too violent. I don't want to see that.

[Brett Vesli]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

Corey Feldman wasn't invited to do the Rob Reiner tribute on the Oscars, but Will Wheaton and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because he's not annoying.

[Brett Vesli]

Because they're same.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cory Feldman is awful. Awful.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a reason Rare Phoenix died.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he can't make it.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They asked, but they're saying that held him up.

[Brady Bogan]

Still around.

[Brett Vesli]

Can they bring Chopper back?

[Brady Bogan]

His fans felt he's dissed, but Corey thinks he got. They didn't want him because of the talking of the abuse that he had.

[John Holmberg]

Where's your rewind button? Why did you say his fans?

[Brady Bogan]

Corey's fan.

[John Holmberg]

You mean Corey.

[Brady Bogan]

But he said don't protest.

[Brett Vesli]

No problem.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it. Let me put my magic Markers down and thanks. Thanks for stopping me.

[Brady Bogan]

This is not my moment.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Feldman, for stopping me before I got ahead of myself with all of my protest signs.

[Brett Vesli]

I was already at my poster board ready to go.

[Brady Bogan]

He said, will and Jerry have this. They got this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I love you, Corey. God hates. I don't know what I was thinking.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll honor Rob my own way.

[John Holmberg]

Way. Right. Privately. Come back.

[Brady Bogan]

Come back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, privately somewhere else. Where we want you to honor Rob as well.

[Brady Bogan]

Evidently it's on between Jack White and Taylor Swift. Cuz he goes. He quotes now. It's become very popular in the Taylor Swift way of pop singers writing. He says I. I find nothing interesting. Interesting with her.

[John Holmberg]

About the relationship songs.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[Brett Vesli]

He's not wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Does she got a. She hadn't had a song about breaking up with somebody for a while.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. If it's something that's really painful. I'm not going to put this important painful thing that I went through out there for some idiot on the Internet to stomp all over.

[John Holmberg]

What? So if Taylor. I don't like Taylor Swift's music that much. But why is that bad?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. I don't know know why that fired him up so much.

[John Holmberg]

Jack White can write about what he wants. I don't know what he's talking about. Seven Nation Army. But I like the song.

[Brady Bogan]

So Boston's lead singer, Tommy DeCarlo. He's not the original Brad Delpo.

[John Holmberg]

He's been dead for a while. This guy died, too.

[Brady Bogan]

He died of brain cancer. Six years old. He died on March 9th. Brad Delp died on March 9th as well.

[John Holmberg]

So don't be the new singer of Boston on March 9th. Ninth.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett suggested quit on.

[John Holmberg]

On the 8th or 7th. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesli]

And then join again on the 10th.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And get back in there. Find your way back.

[Brett Vesli]

Tom. I'm quitting for a couple days.

[John Holmberg]

Let's find your way back. Starship. Yeah, Starship. They're very confusing. Same things.

[Brady Bogan]

Here's a list of the best rock covers by women. Tina Turner did A Whole Lot of Love. Love. Led Zeppelin. Some of these.

[John Holmberg]

I don't probably could.

[Brady Bogan]

The Bangles. Hazy Shade of Winter.

[John Holmberg]

That is a fantastic cover. That's the Mamas and the Papas, right? That is a great song.

[Brady Bogan]

Simon.

[Brett Vesli]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Simon Garfield. Yeah. That is a great song, though. Like the way the. Musically that John knows because he's a guitar player. Those girls play. That song is real good.

[Brady Bogan]

PJ Harvey and Bjork did I Can't get no Satisfaction.

[John Holmberg]

Action. No. Don't even turn that.

[Brett Vesli]

York's in it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm out. PJ Harvey too. I don't like her either.

[Brady Bogan]

Garbage did Starman. David Bowie. Hart did Stairway to Heaven.

[John Holmberg]

No. She did a lot of Zeppelin stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

You'll like this one. Phoebe Bridgers.

[John Holmberg]

What was the one?

[Brady Bogan]

You'd be surprised how good that is.

[John Holmberg]

The Stairwell. Heaven. Because she did the. The Battle of Evermore for the single soundtrack and it was great.

[Brady Bogan]

Phoebe Bridgers did Friday I'm in Love. Love by the Cure.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what that is.

[Brady Bogan]

Indigo Girls. Romeo and Juliet.

[John Holmberg]

Juliet and Juliet.

[Brett Vesli]

You said Indigo. I'm out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Pat Benatar did Helter Skelter.

[John Holmberg]

And Then the Donnas or what was the Runaways or whatever. They. They covered everything.

[Brady Bogan]

The yeah, yeah, yeah did. Sheena is a punk rocker.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody knows. Well, ladies, your list is terrible.

[Brett Vesli]

Shocking.

[John Holmberg]

Those are the best. That's the best you've come up with? And forever. No, it's terrible. Just if the Indigo Girls are On a top 10 list of things ladies have done, check yourselves. Women get better. Be better. That's all I say. Be better. I'm gonna leave you today with the words that I think are gonna resonate with all of us. There's comedy in those cripples. Your dad said that Kirby was here. She won't remember it because of the drugs, but something we'll all think about for a while. That's it. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a great Tuesday. We'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. Hello, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. I'm here on the job site with Dale, who's a framing contractor. Hey, good morning. Dale traded up to Geico commercial auto insurance for all his business vehicles. We're here where he needs us most. Yep, they sure are. We make it easy for him to save on all his insurance needs all in one place with coverage that fits his business and bottom line. Oh, I shouldn't have looked down. It's all right. We're so far up here. Look at me. Take a deep breath. I'm good. So good. Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. It feels good to get Geico. Ever notice your dog acting totally out of character? It might be stress. My dog Max used to lose it every time I grabbed my keys. The second I'd reach for the door, he'd be pacing, whining, or tearing up the couch. His separation anxiety was stressing both of us out. So I tried cradle. They make vet formulated calming products with premium ingredients. Chews, bars, tinctures, whatever works for your dog. And here's the thing. They help dogs stay calm and relaxed without making them drowsy or zoned out. Whether it's separation and anxiety, thunderstorms, car rides, or just the chaos of everyday life, cradle helps support balanced behavior. And the best part, you can try cradle risk free. If it's not a good fit for your pup, you get your money back. No stress, no hassle, no hard feelings. So if you're ready to help your dog find their calm head to cradlemypet.com. that's K-R-A dash dash L dash E dash my pet dot com. That's cradle with a K. Try it risk free today, because a calm pet is a happy pet.