03-17-25 - BR - MON - Illegal To Only Own One Guinea Pig In Switzerland - Teens Film Themselves Peeing In Hot Pot At Restaurant - Man In Switzerland Fined 110k For Tailgating

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Podcast Summary Episode Date: March 17, 2025

Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Source: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Episode Title: Illegal To Only Own One Guinea Pig In Switzerland - Teens Film Themselves Peeing In Hot Pot At Restaurant - Man In Switzerland Fined 110k For Tailgating

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Introduction

In the March 17, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, hosts John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo delve into a mix of bizarre international laws, unusual teenage antics, and high-stakes traffic violations. The episode blends humor with insightful commentary, providing listeners with a variety of engaging stories and lively discussions.

---

Illegal to Only Own One Guinea Pig in Switzerland

The episode opens with an intriguing revelation about Swiss animal welfare laws. Hosts discuss the country's regulation that makes it illegal to own a single guinea pig, emphasizing the social needs of these pets.

Bret Vesely highlights the rationale behind the law:
“Guinea pigs are lonely. They get lonely,” [06:20] Bret explains. This regulation mandates that guinea pig owners must have at least two pets to ensure their well-being. The hosts humorously debate the enforceability and cultural implications of such a law.

Dick Toledo adds context by sharing historical tidbits about the Shell Oil Company:
“Shell got its name because it started in 1833 as a store that sold imported seashells. Didn’t get into the oil business for another 50 years,” [06:38].

---

Teens Film Themselves Peeing in Hot Pot at Restaurant

Shifting to more controversial topics, the hosts recount an incident in China where two 17-year-old teens were caught filming themselves urinating in a hot pot at one of Hadaleo's thousand hot pot restaurant locations.

John Holmberg provides a brief overview:
“They posted a video of them peeing in their hot pot,” [10:54].

The conversation navigates the restaurant's response, noting that the establishment initially struggled to locate the specific venue where the incident occurred. After a four-day investigation, authorities identified the culprits, who were ultimately fined but allowed to continue patronizing the chain under strict conditions.

Bret Vesely questions the impact on public health and restaurant reputation:
“They didn't wash them. So people were a little disturbed.” [12:33].

Dick Toledo clarifies the aftermath:
“They did wash the pots, but they were still giving refunds, figuring 4,000 people went through the doors that night,” [12:55].

The hosts debate the severity of the incident, with Bret skeptically noting:
“Pissing on their own food. So who cares?” [12:28].

---

Man in Switzerland Fined $110k for Tailgating

The discussion then turns to Switzerland's unique traffic law where fines are income-based, leading to exorbitant penalties for wealthy individuals. A specific case is highlighted where a man was fined nearly $110,000 for tailgating.

Bret Vesely explains the intent behind the law:
“They want you to feel the impact, basing fines on your income,” [16:16].

John Holmberg reflects on past instances:
“A rich guy used to speed around with $80 tickets, so they changed the system,” [16:38].

The hosts analyze the effectiveness and fairness of such a system, with Dick Toledo summarizing the outcome:
“The ticket was upheld, but it was suspended. He spent $14,500 fighting it in court,” [17:08].

Bret criticizes the approach:
“A speeding ticket should just be a speeding ticket. It's about discouraging unsafe driving, not destroying someone's finances,” [17:45].

---

St. Patrick’s Day Musings

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing St. Patrick’s Day, which Bret Vesely disparagingly refers to as the "poorest, worst holiday ever." The hosts critique the festivities, focusing on excessive drinking and disruptive behavior.

Bret expresses his disdain:
“It's always on a weekday. Never seems to land on a weekend. Drunken bad food and terrible behavior,” [01:59].

They reminisce about past parades, sharing humorous anecdotes about overindulgence and mishaps. Dick Toledo recalls a memorable parade incident:
“I believe it was St. Patty's Day when one of our former promo kids, Danny, occupied a Porta John,” [02:20].

Bret recounts a story from the Rula Bulla:
“We all started getting drunk on Guinness car bombs and ended up everywhere vomit,” [03:08].

The hosts emphasize the chaotic nature of the celebrations, with Dick Toledo cynically summarizing:
“It's like the Walk of the Drunks,” [03:32].

---

Additional Stories and Discussions

Blue as the Most Popular Color

A brief interlude covers a poll revealing that blue is the most popular color worldwide, followed by green. The hosts joke about the cultural significance of these colors, though this segment remains lighthearted and serves as a transition between major topics.

Don Gorski's Big Mac Marathon

The episode features a commendable story about Don Gorski, a 71-year-old from Wisconsin who has been eating Big Macs since 1972. Recently, he reached a monumental milestone of consuming his 35,000th Big Mac.

Dick Toledo celebrates Don's dedication:
“He makes love to those hamburgers. There's no woman in his life. Let’s just say that,” [19:20].

Bret Vesely humorously critiques Don's lifestyle:
“No nabbling. Nobody's doing that,” [19:32].

The hosts ponder the health implications and personal motivations behind such an extraordinary commitment to fast food.

Sad Tale of Gemma Hart

A somber moment unfolds as the hosts discuss the tragic case of Gemma Hart, a 45-year-old woman from Swindon, England, who was found dead after a month. Her two dogs partially consumed her body, highlighting issues of neglect and animal behavior.

Bret Vesely laments:
“Woman's body partially eaten by sausage dogs. After lying undiscovered in her home,” [18:02].

Dick Toledo adds a humorous twist, trying to lighten the mood:
“Wait, they're fighting back? Not those sausage dogs,” [18:38].

Despite attempts at levity, the hosts acknowledge the grim reality of the situation, reflecting on the importance of community and vigilance.

---

Interactive Segment: Viewer-Submitted Videos

In a lively and humorous segment, the hosts review and comment on various viewer-submitted videos depicting public indecencies and odd behaviors.

1. Public Pooping and Mischief

   • Bret showcases a video of a naked man struggling with his own bodily functions, eliciting both amusement and disgust from the hosts.
   • Dick Toledo quips: “Get your ass out of here,” [20:47].

2. Beach Yoga Gone Awry

   • Bret shares a video of a woman performing unconventional yoga moves on the beach, resulting in humorous commentary from the hosts.
   • John Holmberg humorously critiques the flexibility and orientation of the yogi: “If Brady poops out a set of balls, I'm gonna chop his head off,” [24:01].

3. Handstands and Public Display

   • A video depicting a woman doing handstands in a thong garners mixed reactions, with Dick Toledo noting her impressive balance despite the questionable attire: “She’s doing handstands and stuff right there on the water,” [24:25].

These interactions showcase the hosts' chemistry and ability to entertain while engaging with their audience's content.

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Conclusion

The March 17, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humor, critical analysis, and engaging storytelling. From peculiar international laws and teenage antics to personal milestones and tragic tales, the hosts navigate a wide range of topics with their characteristic wit and camaraderie. The interactive segments further enhance listener engagement, making the episode both informative and entertaining for those tuning in or catching up through the podcast.

For more episodes, tune in or visit 98KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM.

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Notable Quotes from the Episode:

• Bret Vesely: “Guinea pigs are lonely. They get lonely.” [06:20]
• Dick Toledo: “Shell got its name because it started in 1833 as a store that sold imported seashells. Didn’t get into the oil business for another 50 years.” [06:38]
• Bret Vesely: “They want you to feel the impact, basing fines on your income.” [16:16]
• Bret Vesely: “It's always on a weekday. Never seems to land on a weekend. Drunken bad food and terrible behavior.” [01:59]
• John Holmberg: “He did something. Opened the door to the bathroom, and the floor looks like, yoo hoo.” [04:28]
• Bret Vesely: "A speeding ticket should just be a speeding ticket. It's about discouraging unsafe driving, not destroying someone's finances." [17:45]

These quotes encapsulate the hosts' perspectives and the episode's thematic elements, providing listeners with memorable and impactful moments.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[C]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here.

[Brady]

Come on.

[C]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. My goodness, we're already working overtime. Man late. That's my fault. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report, and it's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade Concepts, Arizona's best patio shades. You live in Arizona, you got sunshine on you. That's pretty much always happening. These guys can put a stop to that in certain spots in your backyard. Brady had it done and shaded up to a thousand feet of shade. Not square feet.

[D]

Total.

[C]

Total. Brady always forgets that square part. But it's a lot. It's a thousand square feet of shades. A nice amount of shade there in their backyard and turn your backyard into a living space. Even when it's hot and sunny outside, it can create a ton of extra livable space. So you ought to go to their website, allprochade.com get the ball rolling. Get that shade at your house before the sun gets there. That's important. All pro shades, thank you. Brady. Report it.

[D]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[C]

Hi.

[D]

Happy St. Patty's Day.

[C]

Top of the morning to you.

[D]

A couple of baseless fun facts.

[C]

St Patrick's Day's become like welfare New Year's Eve. It's like the poorest, worst holiday ever. It's always on a weekday. Never seems to land on a weekend. Never like a weekday of drunken bad food and terrible behavior and vomit.

[Dick Toledo]

I believe it was St. Patty's Day when one of our former promo kids, Danny, occupied a. Yeah, he did.

[C]

It In a Porta John and a Para.

[Dick Toledo]

What do you. The disabled portage.

[C]

Oh, was it the big boy?

[D]

Porta John.

[C]

Good for you. Yes, good for you, kid.

[D]

Extra room.

[C]

But that's what people think on New Year's Eve. You're gonna kiss at midnight and you're probably gonna have marital relations. Or if you hook up with. Say, nobody ever goes out on St Patrick's Day to hook up with some drunken Irish. Somebody acting like an idiot with Guinness breath. They're gonna vomit full of corned beef and cabbage. Nothing better than French kissing after that. Got a belly full of corned beef, cabbage, and Guinness. My vomit's gonna look terrifying. You want to have a go?

[Brady]

The bride's having to deal with some dude in a little Mick hat looking stupid.

[C]

Those little Mick hats, they're so dumb. And they only break them out for, like, Irish crap. Even my old boxing trainer, Ray St. Patty, say, I don't know what you guys make a big deal about. We don't even do anything about it. Gotta have a couple of pints. We do that every day. I'm like, I admire that.

[D]

Did you do the parade downtown here? Yeah, there's like, the Irish Center. I thought they used to do one.

[C]

The Walk of the Drunks.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. What's the parade on St. Patrick's Day.

[D]

At Arizona center or something right around on Central. I thought there was a little.

[C]

It's an Irish parade.

[D]

Anyway.

[C]

Yikes. Anyway, well, have fun. Just a hater, bro. Yeah, I am. I think it's a terribly stupid holiday, and the worst thing you can do is get drunk and make yourself so inebriated you can't do any fun stuff. You're just gonna throw up. Brown Guinness. I've told that story at the Rula Bulla when my friend from Ireland was here with his buddy from Scotland, and we all started getting drink on Guinness car bombs. And then the owner of the Rula Bulla goes, everybody, you get out. He kicks us all out. What's going on? Get out. Your little friend in there is taking a huge. All over the floor. I'm like, what? And he comes out of the bathroom screaming in Irish. He goes, ah. I did not do that. I demanded. I demanded a DNA test. And I'm like, what? I demand a DNA test. I'm like, he did something. Opened the door to the bathroom, and the floor looks like, yoo hoo. Come on. He wasn't pooping. He was throwing up Guinness.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh.

[C]

All over the place. But he coated the floor, by the.

[Dick Toledo]

Way, we missed it. It was Saturday Saturday.

[D]

All right.

[C]

I'm. St. Patrick's Day parade and fiery March 15, 2025. We're getting cute. We walk them down the road. We eat and drink terrible things, throw up on each other and don't have sex.

[Dick Toledo]

Downtown Phoenix, between down 3rd street from Oak to Margaret T. Hans.

[C]

One of the selling points was a convertible cor which is stolen by some gypsies. There's no. Yeah, I miss that.

[D]

Yeah, it was pretty sweet.

[C]

I brought my Irish wolfhound.

[D]

Of course you did.

[C]

And now I'm eating terrible food and I'm going to throw up all over this Chevelle. Who brought the Chevelle? Who brought the chevelle to Jimmy O'Brien? There's one of them dumb Mick hats. About to wear my Mick hat. Look like an idiot.

[D]

Oh, there's your.

[C]

There's Miss Ireland.

[Brady]

There's not enough Guinness at that parade.

[C]

Oh, Fred, she may be able to hear you. Oh, man. You can't. Verbally drunk. You cannot dry heave at a picture of a woman. He looks more like Miss Irish. Yeah, I'd rather.

[Brady]

He should have won.

[C]

He's only 38 years old. He looks like he's 70. I've been Irish my whole life. I look twice my age.

[Dick Toledo]

Would you like me to stay up with their newsletter?

[C]

John? Yeah. Keep up with the Irish newsletter. All it's going to be is obituaries. We lost another. We lost another gem. He's 43 years old. He fell off his second floor.

[D]

Blue is the most popular color worldwide. Followed by green.

[C]

Congratulations. Blue.

[D]

It's illegal to only own one guinea pig in Switzerland.

[C]

Sorry, Brett.

[D]

Guinea pigs are. They get lonely.

[Brady]

Racist.

[D]

So the law requires you own at least two.

[C]

You got one fat Italian broad, you gotta get two. Because guinea pigs don't do well on their own.

[D]

Shell Oil Company got the name Shell because it started in 1833. It was a store that sold imported seashells. Didn't get into the oil business for another 50 years.

[C]

Didn't you tell me the guinea pigs eat each other?

[Brady]

They made the right move.

[D]

No. Teddy bear hamsters. If you have two males, they'll get into a fight to the death.

[C]

Really?

[D]

They can. Mine did.

[C]

They sound adorable.

[Brady]

They can.

[D]

They are.

[Dick Toledo]

The best part of that was Minded.

[C]

Yeah, well, of course he had teddy bear. And if I recall correctly, whatever creepy girl he was dating gave him. The second redhead. Yeah, she gave you a second teddy bear hamster. And then, like, stared into the aquarium. That aquarium in your room was a house of death. There's raccoons he kept raccoons in the basement as pets and then brought one in. Rachel. Right, Rachel. Rachel was allowed in the house because he can't. He can't leave him alone. He thinks wildlife needs to be inside like him. She was doing fine, by the way. Rachel was doing fine outside.

[D]

She would have been fine until she destroyed my room.

[C]

Right. Because she wanted to be out. That's what prisoners do. They wreck their cell.

[D]

So being St Patrick's Day, a website just put a map together on the most popular beers in every state. It surprised me because Miller is number one in 29 states.

[C]

It's good.

[D]

Coors, eight states, mostly in the West. And then the surprising was Budweiser was preferred in two states, Ohio and North Carolina.

[C]

Only two.

[D]

Only two. Bud, Bud Light.

[C]

Bud Heavy. Oh, Bud Light. Oh, Bud Light still. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Budweiser is number one in two states.

[Brady]

Too, but you'd be higher than that.

[C]

Me, too.

[D]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like.

[C]

Holmberg's morning sickness?

[D]

New Hampshire and Missouri. Blue Moon is top pick in Colorado. Corona preferred in Connecticut. Three states went with Guinness. Georgia, South Carolina and New Jersey for Guinness. Yeah.

[Brady]

Georgia.

[Dick Toledo]

Right, Exactly.

[Brady]

I would have lost that bet.

[C]

I did not stereotype that properly.

[D]

The bus boys drink a lot of Guinness. There's the map.

[C]

Is that right? Georgia is, according to this, I think. OE before. Oh, Guinness. Arizona was Coors.

[D]

Yep. You see that sweep of the.

[C]

Yeah. They took the Southwest like Trump.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Got all the swing states down here. Totally dominated up north, too.

[Brady]

We didn't need the snowman abandoned to get us our Coors.

[C]

If there's more proof that I'm from the worst state in the nation.

[D]

Bush.

[C]

Bush.

[Brady]

What's Illinois?

[C]

Bush. One in the same. You think Illinois would have been Budweiser? Also So close to St. Louis, another.

[D]

Poll asked people, which sport do you consider to be America's game?

[C]

Football.

[D]

38% picked baseball.

[C]

Well, it's still just the answer.

[D]

It is the answer. Yeah, but football was second at 35%.

[C]

I mean, America's game is basketball, 10%. Good old American baseball. So if you're asking people like, what do you think the answer to this is? If they're going to give you a right answer, it's baseball, if you want to give a statistically correct answer, is football.

[D]

Soccer, 2%. Hockey and golf, 1%.

[C]

Hockey's Canada's game. Golf is China's game.

[Brady]

This map is blowing my mind.

[C]

Yeah. That's weird, isn't it? Yeah. And it must be just like. Yeah, because Bush beer being number one in Indiana. Strohs should beat that because that's all everybody drinks there. Even if that's. I don't know if it's still a thing.

[D]

This company in China are the. They own over a thousand Chinese hot pot restaurants. It's. Hadaleo is the name of the company. And a couple of 17 year old teens posted. I went a little video of them peeing in their hot pot at the restaurant.

[C]

Come on.

[D]

Well, the company didn't figure out until four days later after investigation where. Because there's a thousand locations.

[Dick Toledo]

Good man. Isn't the hot pot just your dish at the table or is it like a communal dish?

[D]

It's basically this one's like you. They give you the equipment almost like the Korean barbecue where you make at the table. They give you a hot pot and you put your broth in it and everything.

[Brady]

And so it's like the melt pot type thing.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[Brady]

All right.

[D]

So they finally. Four days later they figured out the location where it happened. And then they contacted people they. They're estimating. Basically they took it in there. They did it in their own hot pot.

[C]

That was one of the chefs.

[D]

No, the customer. The customers. Yeah. The boys were the customers.

[C]

They knew someone peed in it. They didn't know where it was.

[D]

They knew the video was put up. Yeah. Because they didn't know the exact location where it happened.

[C]

How do you get the video of something these guys. Because it's almost like it's their Instagram page.

[D]

It's their Instagram.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Got it. I thought this restaurant had video. Like we don't.

[D]

And the good news is they were able to please track down the two 17 year old boys that did it.

[C]

Peed in their own food.

[D]

Yeah, they. While they were peeing in the hot pot that they're making. Right.

[C]

So who cares?

[Brady]

Guys that worked there were.

[D]

The problem is they were saying you still got to wash the pots and stuff and they didn't. So people were a little disturbed. Like did they disinfect?

[C]

They didn't wash them.

[D]

They did.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

But they're still giving. They figured 4,000 people went through the doors of that restaurant but now pissed.

[C]

On their own food.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And then it got washed.

[D]

Yeah. Well, yeah.

[C]

This seems to be a non factor.

[Brady]

If it was.

[D]

They're saying they should have shut down.

[C]

The restaurant because he's too peed in their food.

[D]

Yeah. But they did.

[Brady]

Pot was washed. It is what it is.

[D]

4, 000 customers got 10 times the price of what they Paid that night.

[C]

Oh, if they had their receipt.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

If you're going to get a 10x on that, that's pretty good. Wow. I'd have pretended to eat Mongolian barbecue for what is that? Probably 14. That's $140 I'd have gotten back.

[Dick Toledo]

The only thing I remember that is you teaching me how to cram food.

[C]

Oh, my God. You've never seen any Harry Potter. Harry Potter didn't have Harry Potter's teachers.

[Dick Toledo]

No room for sauce.

[C]

Weren't as wizardly as Brady was. When you go to Mongolian barbecue is his. It was the never ending. You got to go to Mongolian barbecue with him.

[Brady]

All right. Yeah, let's do it.

[C]

Don't eat the food.

[Dick Toledo]

Even the cook picks it up and goes, whoa.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. The guy was shocked. They give you a normal human bowl, right?

[Brady]

Okay. Yeah. Like a cereal bowl type thing.

[C]

Yeah. And Brady gets it, and he's just laughing like. He's like. He's like.

[Dick Toledo]

He's figured something out.

[C]

Crack the code. Watch this. And he just starts taking food and smashing it into the bottom of the bowl and making it, like, paper thin, all of it. And then could you build it yourself? And then you give it to a cook, and he pours it out magic sticks. And Brady gives his bowl to the cook, and his hand drops like he handed him a bowling ball. The guy goes, wow. Turns it over.

[D]

Good bowl.

[C]

Bro's, like, overflow. He was excited that his bowl is gonna be like a cornucopia of Mongolian.

[Dick Toledo]

The guy had to clean off the whole platter.

[C]

It was just for Brady. Good two pounds of whatever's in there, at least. And it's like salad mixings. It's just he had so much food in there. And I'm doing it too, like, oh, must disappear on the grill or something. No, it grows. It got huge. He needed, like, a plate and a bowl, and everybody there was impressed. And then I ate it, and I'm like, what is this? Mongolian barbecue? I'm like, oh, God, this is horrible. Yeah, but you got eight pounds of it.

[D]

So.

[C]

Yeah, he was just happy at volume. It could have been deep fried socks at that point. He just. He'd won something. Yeah. Have him take you to one of those. Method is pure madness.

[D]

A new study in South Korea found chewing on pencils can improve your memory and help you focus. People did better on cognitive tests when they were able to chew on a wood suppressor that they gave them. I'm not sure why it helps, but they think it improves blood flow to your brain. And releases antioxidant called gsh. They also tried it with gum. That helped, too, a little bit. Not as much.

[C]

There's a. There's a wild group of medical weirdos that think that eating wood chips is great for your body, and they show you how to do it. I've seen it online a bunch of times. Like, you pulp wood, and you eat, like, little. You know, like you're eating sunflower seeds. And if you eat wood, it's supposed to be great for your. I'm not testing this at all. No longer. Because I ate trees.

[D]

Driver in Switzerland was fined nearly $110,000 for driving too close to the vehicle in front of them, tailgating. The reason it works this way in Switzerland is your tickets when you're speeding or tailgating are based upon your income.

[C]

Your income.

[D]

So this guy was making some dough. He's fighting the $110,000 ticket because. And the reason why they base it on your income, they want you to.

[C]

Feel, well, a few years ago, they had that rich guy that was speeding around all the time. He didn't care that the ticket was, like, 80 bucks, so it didn't stop him. So they change some stuff to say, well, if you make this much money, it's now a percentage of your income.

[D]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that? 98.

[C]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[D]

Well, the guy fought it in court. The ticket was upheld, but it was suspended. A suspended fine. Meaning he won't have to pay the fine, but he cannot commit any other offense for the next two years. Beating or, you know, that's what insurance.

[C]

Is supposed to do.

[D]

But he spent 14,500 bucks fighting it in court.

[Dick Toledo]

That sounds smart.

[C]

It's better than 100 grand.

[Brady]

Yeah, no kidding.

[C]

A speeding ticket should just be a speeding ticket. The whole thing is based off of what the city makes off of those things, not trying to destroy you. And that's what insurance is supposed to do. You get too many of those, they make it so it's too expensive to drive.

[D]

I saw this story over the break. This Gemma Hart, she's 45 years old. She was found dead in her home in Swindon, England, after a call to the police by the neighbors, which they said, we haven't seen her in a month. She'd been dead for almost three or almost a month. They could save her, but.

[C]

Makes sense.

[D]

Her body was partially eaten by her two dogs. The headline says, hackman's dogs. Woman's body partially eaten by sausage dogs. After lying undiscovered in her home.

[C]

Toxins.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Freddie got excited about sausage dogs. Wait, they're fighting back? Not those sausage dogs. Oh, thank God. I gotta be number one on their most wanted list.

[D]

And finally, big congratulations goes out to our man, Don Gorski, 71 years old. You might remember this guy's from Wisconsin, and he's been eating Big Macs.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Since 1972 when we had the first two Big Macs.

[C]

Then he'd eat two a day.

[D]

Two a day?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

He's been doing it for 53 years. He hit 35,000 on Saturday.

[C]

Congratulations.

[D]

Here's Don in the.

[C]

I forgot the dude's hair. I remember he's got raggedy Andy's hair. He looks. He looks like a person that. He's not big. He's not in great shape, but he's also. He's. He makes love to those hamburgers. There's no woman in his life. Let's just say that.

[Brady]

Yeah. There's nobody banging.

[C]

Nobody's doing that.

[D]

I don't have any videos today because I'm phoneless.

[C]

Oh, that's right. Brad left his phone at his sex party last night. All right, Bert, it's up to you then. All right.

[Dick Toledo]

You don't grab. When you grab your keys out of the big bowl. You don't grab your phone at the same time.

[C]

He left it at somebody's house.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, at the key party.

[C]

Oh, the key party. Oh, I see they keep your phone in there, too.

[D]

I got the key.

[C]

That was for filming.

[Dick Toledo]

I thought you weren't allowed.

[C]

I'm not going to any key party where they take your phone away. What's my safe word?

[D]

There it is. The phone is here.

[C]

Oh, my God. You had it dropped off. Wow.

[D]

Thanks. Holy.

[C]

Nice of them, Kurt. Nice job. All right, Brett, you go.

[Brady]

You know, Brady's not gonna do anything. No, we'll just do this one here. Start with this one.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that on the beach?

[C]

I don't even know what I'm looking at.

[Brady]

I think it's snow.

[C]

Oh, some. Is that a butt? Oh, there's a lady with her pants down, rooster tail, looks like she's about to poop in the snow. Oh, somebody just comes up with a 2x4 and smashes this person trying to poop in the driveway with a two by four and sends him off into the snow. Not in my driveway. Is that Winston?

[Dick Toledo]

Get your ass out of here.

[C]

I think that's my friend Winston. Watch this. Well, the one person just walks by the other person, and then Winston just smashes that person. In the ass, man.

[Brady]

That was a. That's a big Barry Bond swing.

[C]

Get your crack ass off my driveway.

[Brady]

All right. And let's go this one. This one's called making it rain.

[C]

Here's another.

[Brady]

That'll be another one. Here we go.

[C]

Oh, we're on a patio. Good looking butt. Peeing out of the side of a car in a parking lot in the rain. Could be a lady boy, but I don't know what's going on there. That's a lot of peace. Good stream, powerful stream. That person's body is functioning at 100%. You could take out some drywall with that. That's pretty impressive. And it looks pretty good from. From the angle we're looking at this lady with her pants down, peeing. She's bent over outside of a Tesla.

[Brady]

And. Well, this one was sent in that. Just wondering if you can actually do this.

[C]

Me?

[Brady]

Yes, you.

[C]

Okay. This is a guy. Naked guy. He's got a huge hog. Oh, he's pooping. What the. We'll go. For an instant, I didn't even know what was going on. Yes, his testicles are in his bottom.

[D]

You gotta do that.

[C]

And he poops. He poops them out. I. I think I can do that. You think so? I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I like that you reversed. Oh, that's kind of neat. Playing it backwards is even better. Brady. Watch it go backwards. Brady got his phone. He's gone forever. Now watch it go backwards. Watch.

[D]

Watch this.

[C]

Brett, push it backwards now. There they go. Right back in. It's kind of neat. I'm pretty sure I can do that. Oh, it's got sound. Oh, sh. Listen to that. Oh, it's in slow mo. That's why it kind of goes weird. Oh, that's gross. You can hear that at home, but that is gross. Oh, Brady's got his videos. He wants.

[D]

There is one I wanted to show.

[C]

All right.

[D]

My sister is in Florida right now. Spring breaking, basically.

[C]

Sure.

[D]

Because she sent me this video of her on the beach. There's another woman doing some yoga.

[C]

Okay. This is your sister's video.

[Dick Toledo]

Are you gonna send it to me?

[C]

This is.

[D]

I sent it.

[C]

Can we just watch it on your phone? I guess. You got to put it up on the big screen, man. This is your sister participating in radio videos.

[D]

This is.

[C]

The whole Bogan family's getting involved in the show. Do you remember how to text? It's been a while since I said it. My bad, my bad, my bad. What's that?

[Dick Toledo]

Ah, there we go.

[Brady]

All right.

[C]

Here we Go. Brady's sister's video. Never thought I'd say that. Jesus.

[D]

Brady.

[C]

Brady's sister's video. Was it long? It was too long.

[Dick Toledo]

It's just a big file.

[C]

Oh, well, it's Brady.

[D]

Hopefully I got the right one.

[Brady]

It's gonna be a swinger party.

[C]

If Brady poops out a set of balls, I'm gonna chop his head off. Yeah, I don't know what we're. I don't know what's happening. When your sister's down at Florida, just laying on the beach.

[D]

Delray Beach. Yeah. She's hanging out the beach, sunning.

[C]

All right, there she is.

[D]

And she wants this to me.

[C]

There's a lady in the water. She have no legs?

[D]

No, she's. That's why I couldn't figure out, too. She'll zoom in here.

[C]

If the lady is sitting in the water.

[D]

Random. It's a young lady.

[C]

The water's lapping up in a song.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, yeah. She's doing handstands and stuff right there on the water.

[Brady]

They show us the Title nine.

[C]

Yeah, this is. This is a Title nine video. It's not very good at bands.

[D]

No.

[C]

There she kind of just tumbles over. So this is an insane person on the beach doing handstands in a thong.

[D]

A little one last. I don't know if this is a plank or whatever the yoga moves.

[C]

I don't think that was a yoga move so much as it was just.

[D]

This one is.

[C]

Oh, is she doing commentary? Oh, she's doing.

[Brady]

It's very hard to do, by the way.

[D]

And I love the couple that walks by at the end.

[C]

She looks like she was hot a while ago. It's still good, but it's going the wrong way. Yeah. Now she's drunk.

[D]

Okay, there we go.

[C]

Some old fat Floridian goes by. Very real. Yeah, it's nice. Well, I hope your sister and that lady are very happy together down there.

[Dick Toledo]

Thank God you got your phone.

[C]

That's right. Brady had to get his phone for Molly in time.

[D]

That even though that was a.

[Brady]

Think what we might have missed.

[C]

I mean, how would my day have been complete not having seen that woman do a handstand? Meanwhile, Brett's showing me videos of a guy pooping on his own ball. There's a clear cut winner here. Brett gets three and three quarter stars. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Dick Toledo]

Sisters on the show.

[C]

1/4 star. We have a new champion. And there you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report, complete with handstands. It's 98K upd.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[D]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[C]

I have heard enough of this.