03-17-25 - Irish Food Reactions And Comments - We Question The Business Decision Of Title IX Sports Bar Catering To All Women's Sports And Discuss The High School Track Baton Assault

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: March 17, 2025

Host/Author: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: March 17, 2025
Episode Title: Irish Food Reactions And Comments - We Question The Business Decision Of Title IX Sports Bar Catering To All Women's Sports And Discuss The High School Track Baton Assault

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Introduction

The episode begins with an advertisement from Dick Toledo promoting FanDuel's bonus bets, followed by Brady introducing the podcast sponsored by mmpguns.com. John Holmberg kicks off the show with his characteristic humor and banter with his co-hosts.

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Irish Cuisine Critique

Timestamp: 05:24 - 07:30

John Holmberg launches into a humorous critique of Irish and Swedish cuisines, particularly focusing on traditional dishes like corned beef and cabbage. He mocks the practicality and taste of these foods, poking fun at their historical significance during the Irish Potato Famine.

John Holmberg [07:02]: "So, yeah, we Swedes admit it. It's time for you Irish to do it, too. Your corned beef and cabbage is disgusting."

The conversation delves into the inefficiency and unpopularity of these dishes in modern times, highlighting their continued cultural presence despite their questionable appeal.

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Title IX Sports Bar: A Business Misstep

Timestamp: 11:02 - 25:54

The hosts shift their focus to the opening of a new establishment, the "Title IX Sports Bar," which exclusively caters to women's sports. John Holmberg expresses skepticism about the business viability of such a niche concept.

John Holmberg [12:05]: "They're talking about striking until they get what's fair. And again, last year was their best year ever. They lost $38 million and they think they need. It's time to start paying."

He criticizes the decision to limit the sports bar to women's sports, suggesting it narrows the potential customer base too much to sustain profitability. The discussion touches on the limited operating hours (10 AM to 3 PM) and the assumption that only a small, specific audience would frequent the establishment.

John Holmberg [17:00]: "A woman's sports bar for women is a sexually charged porn hub. This is hot, though. Good Lord."

He further jokes about the potential content and atmosphere of the bar, implying that focusing solely on women's sports without broader appeal is a flawed business model.

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High School Track Baton Assault

Timestamp: 17:34 - 22:13

The conversation transitions to a recent incident in a high school track event where a baton pass led to a concussion. John Holmberg criticizes the safety measures and the construction of the batons used in the relay races.

John Holmberg [18:38]: "Especially if you crack the girl's skull. She didn't hit her that hard. It looked like she hits her, but it's not hard enough to bust someone's skull open."

He debates the appropriateness of using metal batons, advocating for safer alternatives like plastic straws to prevent such injuries.

John Holmberg [19:10]: "If I can't have a plastic straw because it's too damaging to the planet, you can't give them metal pipes that'll crack a skull in half."

The hosts analyze the implications of the incident, questioning the policies and safety standards in high school athletics.

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Satirical Take on Title IX Sports Bar

Timestamp: 25:54 - 39:43

Returning to the topic of the Title IX Sports Bar, John Holmberg adopts a satirical tone, humorously suggesting that the bar functions more as a lesbian hookup spot rather than a traditional sports venue. He mocks the marketing and operational strategies, emphasizing the unlikely success of such a specialized establishment.

John Holmberg [34:27]: "It's a sex bar. I'm fine with that. I think it's great, but it's not gonna last long if you keep calling it a sports bar."

The discussion includes playful jabs about the bar's Instagram presence, clientele, and the mismatch between the intended sports focus and the actual atmosphere.

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Anecdote: Josh and the Suns Tickets

Timestamp: 41:02 - 48:53

John Holmberg shares a personal anecdote about obtaining and sharing Suns game tickets through a connection named Josh. The story humorously highlights the social dynamics and awkwardness that can arise from such interactions.

John Holmberg [44:17]: "If I can't have a plastic straw because it's too damaging to the planet, you can't give them metal pipes that'll crack a skull in half."

The hosts laugh over the mishaps at the game's Rah Rah room, including ordering drinks for non-drinkers and dealing with indecisive patrons.

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Wrap-Up: Irish Traditions and Modern Critiques

Timestamp: 48:53 - 53:05

The episode concludes with a continued playful critique of Irish culinary traditions, referencing other European foods like Italian fruitcake and Swedish pastries. The hosts maintain their humorous stance on why these traditional foods remain unappetizing in contemporary settings.

John Holmberg [52:05]: "It's a box of cake and what's inside of it."

They mock the persistence of outdated food traditions, advocating for modernization and variety in culinary practices.

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Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg [07:02]: "We Swedes admit it. It's time for you Irish to do it, too. Your corned beef and cabbage is disgusting."

• John Holmberg [12:05]: "I will treat [the shutdown] like it's, you know, the Iranian hostage situation. Day 22."

• John Holmberg [17:00]: "A woman's sports bar for women is a sexually charged porn hub."

• John Holmberg [18:38]: "They just cook it. And then that awful kielbasa and cuckoo core of crap."

• John Holmberg [25:54]: "If you're that into the Mercury, you're going. It's not like those tickets are hard to get."

• John Holmberg [34:27]: "It's a sex bar. I'm fine with that. I think it's great, but it's not gonna last long if you keep calling it a sports bar."

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Conclusion

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, John Holmberg and his co-hosts deliver their signature blend of humor and sharp commentary. They dissect the inefficacies of traditional Irish and Swedish cuisines, question the business logic behind a niche Title IX Sports Bar, and discuss safety concerns in high school athletics. Throughout the show, the hosts maintain a lighthearted yet critical tone, ensuring an engaging and entertaining experience for their listeners.

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Note: This summary focuses solely on the content sections of the podcast, excluding advertisements, intros, and outros, as per the instructions.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Thank you. Miles to nowhere. It's good to have them back A week. Felt like a long week too. It's good. Nice long time to sit and do nothing. Watch free agency. Wonder what's going on with football there. This guy says, man, your boy struggled to get started. The show started on time last week after nine days off. The best of is okay, but it certainly isn't the same thing. I'm sure I speak for all of the morning sickness army when I say glad to have you back, Philip. Well, thanks, Philip.

[Brady]

Who was our boy that couldn't get us started on time? I don't know what's been John Gordon.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you've got that 545 thing down. That's all. Brett. He's got 54500. Down to science. And it happens quick. John G. I don't know if he's that.

[Brady]

I think he's sleeping.

[John Holmberg]

It's probably the computer most of the time. Computers. I'll get to it when I get to it. And then this one says John Kirby and Brady and the End Bomb. You know me, of course. You never skip the N bomb in a song, you moron. Signed Branbert J. Brudnell. Nice job, Branbert. Making an appearance on. Of course Bran Burt's the kid who.

[Brett]

Threw his over here from him anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Threw his life away at the Phoenix Open in an instant. Did you ever see Bran Burt's full video of him being escorted out?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's still going. He doesn't stop. He's dropping bombs. He's he's quoting like legal stuff. He's gonna tear the. It's. It's horrible. Not just what Brand Burt did to that poor Mexican girl in the tent at the Phoenix Open saying that he. He would like to slit her throat and kill all. Deport, deport and kill all Mexicans. And he said he was a Nazi and all that. He's like 22 years old. Kids ruined. Branbert J. Brudenell. He's so far this year's winner in the shame contest. I don't think we've had anybody.

[Brady]

That must have been close.

[John Holmberg]

I got a guy who emailed me and said, what about this one for the. The s. Heel of the year nominee? And it was a lady who sat on her kid. 350 pound woman sat on her kid and killed him. But it was in Indiana. Doesn't count. So you have to be. You have to be local. That's a local award. Now this one says, geez, John, first thing I figured you'd talk about was the Steelers new quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. And then it says, ha, ha ha. About 168 times a dude took time out of his life to just ha, ha ha me to death. It's a weird one, I'll tell you that. I don't know what's going on there. Rumors has. Rumor has it that the Steelers and Cardinals may make a deal for Kyler Murray. Cardinal fans will be happy to watch Kyler leave. Steelers fans will be happy to not have a dude my age playing quarterback.

[Brett]

Sitting on Rudolph. Right now.

[John Holmberg]

Right now. That's. Look again. I told you this. If Mason Rudolph is starting next year, I'll be spending most of my Sundays antiquing and eating corned beef and cabbage. That would be better. That's not. You can't put that out in front of me and say, hey, follow along. No, I'll handle bad years when it looks like you're trying. My rule with sports, you know, the Cubs taught me this. If you put a roster out there that says, hey, pay for this. And I'm like, you're not even putting an effort out. Like, you're putting a team out there that can't win. And it isn't young. It's like, there's no, these aren't tomorrow's stars. This is just a bunch of guys that aren't good enough to play. A couple of years ago, the Cubs did that. And I'm like, that was real easy to walk away from the Cubs when Frank Schweibel was the first baseman. I'M like, who? And a 30 year old prospect that's third named Patrick Wisdom, like, this isn't a team anybody cares about. So if the Steelers roll out Mason Rudolph as their starting quarterback, Sundays are free. I'm not. I'm not. You give me a quarterback and we have a bad year, that's fine. Give me a dude like that and try to pass it off as like a contender.

[Brett]

This is what you could do.

[John Holmberg]

Not happening. So it's weird though. Aaron Rodgers is holding the whole league hostage right now. Will he go to Minnesota? Will he retire? The Steelers and Giants have both kind of put all their chips in for him. Consolation prize might be Russell Wilson. But if I'm Russell Wilson, I tell everybody to go themselves.

[Brady]

I heard him with the Browns too.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he went and met with him and I think once you go to Cleveland and meet you, like, what was I thinking? And then it was nice meeting. It's nice to meet you. I'm never coming back here.

[Brady]

Pissing off the Irish.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's fine. Irish people. There's no room to talk about Irish food, bruh. Way better than whatever weird ass fish dish you Swedes come up with, right? And we don't force it down your throats is delicious either. Most of us say it's terrible. Swedish people understand their cuisine was sustenance for frozen people. For years it was the only thing they had.

[Brett]

Storing fish in a barrel.

[John Holmberg]

If you go to Swedish festival days, they'll tell you and get ready for some of the worst food you've ever had. Swedish festival days is all. It was all about like hot blondes and stuff and Nordic people and like Viking stuff. But you don't want the food. They have burgers at Swedish festivals for a reason. Ludfisk and kuka corve and oh my God, you don't want any of their food.

[Brett]

They got a tasty cookie. That's about it.

[John Holmberg]

What's that?

[Brett]

I don't. I forget what it's called, but it's the Swedish cookie set. Jane. New Heisel. They're Nordic and they make them.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know what they are. You just hammer them.

[Brady]

I'll see if I can find this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Swedish cookies. I'm Swedish. I poopoo crackers. Huh?

[Brett]

I don't know. They're called.

[John Holmberg]

They're. I remember my Grammy's make these weird little yellow dots. They were like butter and they were butter crackers of some sort. Everything's basic there. Because for hundreds of years there was just snow and salt fish and that Was it? And you could eat tulips and. Yeah, I could just eat the grass that would grow. That's all they did. And then meat. Like, they would find any meat and. And crush it and just put it in their face. They didn't. They don't do anything to it. You just cook it. And then that awful kielbasa and cuckoo core of crap.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So, yeah, we Swedes admit it. It's time for you Irish to do it, too. Your corned beef and cabbage is disgusting. And by the way, Irish, how did you guys have a potato famine? It rains there, like, eight inches a day. Everything would grow. Like, just start eating the grass. They were starving. They went through multiple starvation.

[Brett]

That was the only thing they're eating.

[John Holmberg]

Right. How dumb. Yeah. Plant something else.

[Brett]

Something else?

[John Holmberg]

What's the matter with you? It's nothing but rain.

[Brady]

All right, Brady, which one?

[John Holmberg]

Lingonberry cookies.

[Brady]

That sounds terrible.

[John Holmberg]

They're horrible. Lingonberries are awful. Our meatballs are bad. The noodles are bad. Everything Swedes do is food is awful. Now it's just. Probably just some wafer. They don't add any flavor to anything. It's the most bland food you've ever eaten. But we're not talking about that. We admit it, Iris, your food sucks. Corned beef and cabbage is gross. If corned beef and cabbage wasn't gross, Portillo's would have a whole second section. They don't. Nobody orders it. Maybe corned beef by itself, but not that cabbage. It's disgusting. And evidently it takes forever to make. And salt and brine and all that.

[Brady]

David Vasquez said, I'd rather eat that pristine acid John has packing around than eat corned beef and hash.

[John Holmberg]

And I would rather let you publicly than choke down any of that cabbage. A whole country, million and a half people died. A million and a half people left because they couldn't figure out how to grow food in the wettest environment on the planet. What do we do? Well, all you need is the ground and water, and you've got tons of both. I don't know how to do it. All the potatoes are dying. Then you're idiots. We're moving. They moved away rather than just try harder.

[Brett]

The stat that they throw out there, that at the time when the potato famine happened, they're eating like three to seven pounds a day.

[John Holmberg]

That's all they did. It's all they knew how to do. And when it went south, morning, noon, and night. I think we got too much water. All right, put a tarp over it. I don't know what to do. We're moving. Everyone's dying. They've gone through like six or seven famines in Ireland. Africa's like, we would kill to live up there. If it wasn't for all the Irish, we'd move Africa. It makes sense why nothing grows there. We have not had rain for over three years. We get the rain every three hours and we still can't figure out how to make potatoes work and put it inside and water it yourself. You've got tons. Looks like we're headed towards an odor famine. You're the dumbest people on the planet. This blustery wet conditions of this perfect soil. We don't know how to make things grow. Food just grows there by itself. I watched Ariel Ireland on Smithsonian. How in the world are you struggling to grow stuff? We've had another famine. We lost another million and a half. Why can't figure out how to make food grow in all this water and perfect soil? This seems real easy. I think you can dig it up with your hands and just. We just need the seeds. Potatoes don't have seeds, dummy. They're just dumb. That's all it was. Your ancestors are stupid. And don't get on me about it. My Swedish ancestors almost ruled the world as Vikings and they blew it somehow. So that whole area up there, there's like a line on the earth. Once it starts to curve up, everybody gets dumber and dumber and dumber. The closer you get to the top. Once you start getting into like northern Sweden, it's like, that's got to be the dumbest people on the planet because Ireland is real stupid. And then Scotland is extraordinarily stupid. And then you got those. Finland and the fact they want to live there. Stupid. And here's another sign that they're stupid. When my ancestors left Sweden, they moved to Minnesota and Northwestern Pennsylvania. The only two places colder than where they left.

[Brett]

Like home.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this feels exactly declare we need to be. The Irish turned Boston into Ireland Junior and almost died from a syrup flood. They brought their dumb with them. Happy St. Patty's Day, everybody. It's a thing. One thing that's happening in this city. Damn it. That I can't. Can't tell you how excited I am about Title 9 sports bar opens today. Well, open this weekend. It opened this weekend down there. Title nine Sports Bar. It's. Hear me out. It's a sports bar. And you're thinking cool. Sports bars are cool. They have chicken wings and TVs everywhere showing sports. But this sports bar has decided to not show real sports, just ladies sports. It's a ladies sports bar. That's it for lesbians. And it's over in the lesbian district, which I give them credit for. Location, location, location.

[Brady]

You just go to Postino's and see that. But, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But that's it. So you're going to get WNBA action, which by the way, also maybe headed towards a shutdown. And I'm telling you right now, I will. Every day of this show while that is on, I will treat that like it's, you know, the Iranian hostage situation. Day 22. Shut down. The Hives Countdown to shut down will be on. They're talking about striking until they get what's fair. And again, last year was their best year ever. They lost $38 million and they think they need. It's time to start paying. But they flipped out over Caitlin Clark, so they opened a girls sports bar. Hilarious. Now here's the best part. It's only open for a little while from 10 until like 3 in the afternoon.

[Brett]

10 to 2:30.

[John Holmberg]

Because if you haven't open, if you haven't pulled any puss out of there by two, you're not doing it. Get out. Yeah. I don't know what you're going to.

[Brett]

Show, but those are the. So that was the. I. I thought that was just the grand opening.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. I don't know because I saw and they said it on tv.

[Brett]

It's gotta be. But. Well, it's kind of.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe it's just a soft. Maybe it's just like a. We're just going to show the best. Maybe it's the greatest.

[Brett]

Give you a taste of it.

[John Holmberg]

We're going to show some 1999 World cup soccer reruns. A couple of. What they really are going to have hay with is the girls beach volleyball. That is going to be. There's. They're going to. It's going to be called Bean Fiddling Night. There's going to be a band called the Bean Fiddlers. There's. It's just going to be a constant stream of. All the shots will be squirts. I mean, everything is going to be about sex. Which normal sports bars are not.

[Brett]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98 KUPD, Holmberg's, morning sickness. Normal sports bars. Zips. I can't even think of any other zips. And you know, Twin Peaks and all the ones that you go into.32. Very rarely. Yeah, very. I don't even know. That's still very rarely. Are the sports bars sexually charged? This one is. And it's all lesbian porn on tv. They're going to show WNBA games and girls like track and field. And the one thing they were trying to sell it as, like, you know, we all get excited when Simone Biles. Yeah. Once every four years. Like, if you're. If your business plan is to open up to watch Simone Biles do flips, you're going to struggle. Plus, I've watched some college Girls gymnastics on ESPN2 or 3 or wherever it is sexually charged. You're going to have a problem here. These ladies are not going to be into the sports, so we all know what it really is about. One thing I do want to encourage, though, is. And I know this sounds bad, but start to. If you're going to have a girls sports bar where the sports is brute. Like, can you imagine going in on a Saturday afternoon after golfing and going into Title 9 sports bar and watching LPGA on TV for more than three minutes without, like, wanting to kill yourself? It's like every. Every. All the girls in the lpga. No offense, Brady. Hey, look out the window. They all look like Brady if he was Korean. Oh, if Brady was Korean, he would. He would. You could walk right on to an LPGA event if you just taped your eyes.

[Brett]

It's been improvements, John.

[John Holmberg]

No, there hasn't. I watched again this week. There's like eight Koreans that all look just like you. Are you talking about you or the game? Because I've seen in neither. I've seen improvements. If you walked in, just put a black wig on and taped your eyes back a little and said, kim Pok Kim. They'd be like, all right, you're on. You're on. Hole 1. Kim Pok Kim won some. And all you have to do is just after every shot and you're fine. They all look like you. There are a few of them. They try to sell, but not enough to keep a sports bar open for ladies. And God, what a tough time it would be if Title 9 Sports Bar opened up and the WNBA had their shutdown. And then what are they gonna show?

[Brett]

The one guy mentioned women's. I'm a big fan of women's rugby.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

I think that's what.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He goes, I've become a huge fan of women's rugby. Like, so you like big women wrestling? You've come to the right place. You don't even need TVs for that. Let's call it what it is. There's a new lesbian bar in town, and they're going to show some sports nobody will watch. Those women aren't going to watch empowered women compete. They're going to smash clams.

[Brady]

You said they're watching track and field and stuff. I mean, if it's, you know, stuff like this, well, I'm in.

[John Holmberg]

Brett always fights. Look at that. But again, I will go to Title 9 to watch this.

[Brett]

I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. Because their sports aren't about the sports. A woman's sports bar for women is a sexually charged porn hub. This is hot, though. Good Lord.

[Brett]

These broads in there, they just set up downtown Prague.

[John Holmberg]

They set up a bar in the middle of the road and. Yeah, look at that. Belfast or something, man. And you know what's not in this? Any of the men competing in this. They're running around in. The Lord cleared it. Oh, she's hot. So it's. That's what it's going to be. It's going to be a whole load of people who look and sound an awful lot like us, but they've got vaginas watching them. Oh. Oh, they're not going to be. They're not going to be watching for the score.

[Brett]

What's interesting is the place before, you know, it's like they couldn't sell enough wieners, so they now got to get.

[John Holmberg]

Rid of all the wieners. We need to abandon all wieners. They're triggered by wieners. Brady. Title nine, it's a lesbian bar and they're trying to act like it's for sports. No, it's not.

[Dick Toledo]

Lesbians.

[John Holmberg]

You know what it's about. But I do have to say, I wanna. I want you to start putting on one of the things. High school girls track. Because what happened this week in high school. Girls track. Yeah, that chick that. The baton hit the other one in the head and then said that she. It was an accident. Like, she just. It got stuck on her back.

[Brett]

We're not sure we're gonna charge.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they charged her.

[Brett]

They did.

[John Holmberg]

They got it. But here's my thing. What are they making those batons out of? The girl got a concussion.

[Brett]

They're like soft aluminum. Have you seen them?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but still, if it's that dangerous.

[Brett]

Nothing soft about aluminum if.

[John Holmberg]

Especially if you crack the girl's skull. They were worried about a cracked skull. She didn't hit her that hard. It looked like she hits her, but it's not hard enough to bust someone's skull open. It was a. It was a good shot. But a concussion and a.

[Brett]

And a cracked skull with that baton.

[John Holmberg]

That'S what I'm saying. Take that away from people worried about people getting hurt in sports all the time, and then you give them that type. I thought that thing, even if it.

[Brett]

Was like a, you know, pvc, that's.

[John Holmberg]

Plastic, you're still not gonna hurt anybody with that. You might bonk them and make them feel a little uncomfortable.

[Brett]

Look, if I can't have plastic, John, their skulls.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, they do. They don't form until their 60s. If I can't have a plastic straw because it's too damaging to the planet, you can't give them metal pipes that'll crack a skull in half. Oops, again.

[Brett]

How many times have they been doing these relay races? And how many clubbings have happened?

[John Holmberg]

It just takes one, Brady. I've never watched a dude dressed as a woman beat people at volleyball. But it's. The president had to get involved.

[Brett]

Here comes the four by four hammer race.

[John Holmberg]

Give them. Give them Craftsman tools and let them swing. That was the most entertaining women's track and field I've ever seen. If you could use it as a weapon, as a girl's passing, you.

[Brett]

Have you seen it, Brett?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it is. She takes a. Well, she says that as the girls pass.

[Brett]

I can't believe she.

[John Holmberg]

She gets the bat stuck on her back somehow and drags it up. And as she drags it up, her hand flails forward and she clunks the girl square in the back of the head and then started to say, oh, I. I didn't mean it. She. She kind of cut into my lane and I. My hair.

[Brett]

When I saw it, I didn't know the background. I'm just watching video. It looked like, oh, she's clubbing because she's getting past.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's exactly what happened. And she's in high school and they gave her a hammer and she's, you know, look, the difference between second and third is a scholarship. Like, it's a total. She might have thought, if I come in at least second, if I win this thing, I'm going to Stanford. If I come in second, I might go to asu. If I come in third, I'm a community college girl. And that girl just starts blowing by her, and you can see she's out of gas. She clunks the one in front of her and totally goes Tonya Harding on her. But she did serious damage. Like you shouldn't. People in sports shouldn't be. Have hammers.

[Brett]

If her story ended saying, oh, the family's not sure they're going to Press.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're pressing charges.

[Brett]

I'm like, you're.

[John Holmberg]

But stupid. That said, Title 9 Mad Max track and field. I'm going to that Emotional broads on their periods running around for scholarship money. Only first and second place win. Everybody else is zero. Warren, you're going to get hit a lot and it's going to be entertaining. She again. I'm not allowed. I'm not. You're getting trouble in restaurants for having plastic straws. You can't do it just. It's too damaging. Yeah, this is it. Watch this chick during a race. All right.

[Brett]

Oh, that was just.

[John Holmberg]

Just after. Watch this.

[Miles]

Junior Kaylin. She's about to get the second leg of the 4x200 relay in the Virginia State High School League Championships when the shocking incident happened.

[John Holmberg]

She said it was an accident.

[Miles]

Watch again. Sprinters running side by side as they round the corner with Kalyn on the outside, Kaelyn's mother cheering her on for a second. Just as Kalyn is passing the other runner, the athlete swings her baton, striking Kaylyn.

[John Holmberg]

I just felt a bang on my head and then I fell off the track immediately.

[Miles]

Kaylyn dropping her baton and reaching for her head.

[Brady]

The holes.

[John Holmberg]

Because there's a hole in it.

[Brett]

She's flopping.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

She's not Bill Lambert.

[John Holmberg]

You thought, oh, she's faking it. Until the doctor came out and said, we got to get her to the emergency room immediately. It cracked her skull in half. I would watch that at Title 9 sports all day.

[Brady]

Michael Lombardi's basically saying a Title 9 sports bar. Why don't you just call it Chapter 7?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they will eventually. And it won't be long, trust me. It's. This thing has a shelf life that is. It's minimized because a. You've already.

[Brett]

They're showing. Is it, you know, adults only? Is it a family bar? Because they're interviewing.

[John Holmberg]

You can bring young girls into the bar. A restaurant, you know, they just can't sit at the bar. I don't know a lot of lesbian bars where you want to bring the kids. Because that's what I'm saying. Do you want to go to breeders, like breeders have. Breeders are the ones with kids. Lesbians are. Unless they're those little adoptable Asians that lesbians all pick up.

[Brett]

The little groomers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, yeah, if you're gonna. If you have your grooming section and a ball pit, which probably wouldn't be a ball if a clamp hit a clampet. But look, Title nine, I'm all for it. Except for it's a bad business plan.

[Brady]

Here's their Instagram page.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I know. And they're proud of it. And there's a guy walking his dog.

[Brady]

That's not a guy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that wasn't.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Are you kidding?

[Brett]

No, it wasn't. You missed the pony.

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. That's a fella.

[Brady]

That is. That's the same one right there.

[John Holmberg]

That's not this.

[Brett]

I said man bunny. Yeah, that C. Right.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it is, Louise. How about that? It's a sex bar. I'm fine with that. I think it's great, but it's not gonna last long if you keep calling it a sports bar. Call it what it is. Just an awesome lesbian. It's a hookup with girl sports on tv. It's a hookup bar.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're not going in there. There's no look.

[Brett]

Can we go?

[John Holmberg]

Well, we could go. We'd get some eyes. It's like me going to the Boom Boom Room. Like, what are you doing here? It's like, I'd rather go to the Boom Boom. Oh, I go to the Boom Boom Room in a second. The sports would be so much better in the Boom Boom Room. Hey, man, what you here for? I understand there's great sports in your world. Could go to here or Title nine. Oh, yeah. You don't want to do that. Welcome to the Boom Boom Room. You bet. I'm sorry, but you can't get in without, you know, you got to pay the fee. I'm like, why? You don't have a fat ass blonde with y'all. I can't let you in the Boom Boom Room as a. You know, you look like a cop. Unless you got yourself a blonde with a big fat ass. I'm like, I'll go get one. Hold on. I'll be right back. Brady, put this wig on. But, yeah.

[Brett]

Is that a relay race baton?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Title. No. They're shaped different at the Title nine. It's the same weight and structure of a, but the ending is more pointed.

[Brady]

Same circumference.

[John Holmberg]

The batons in the relay race, you want to wash those before you. And it isn't. There might be blood on it, but it's not from somebody's head. Women's only sports bar. Women don't even like it enough to go, jesus, Try to open a Sun Sports Bar right now, you'd go out of business in a week. There are no great Cardinals sports bars in town. You think you're gonna sustain life calling yourself a women's sports bar? No, no, no. Call it what it is. An awesome lesbian bar. That's it. You've opened up a new lesbian bar, but no straight women are going to this at all. Maybe some that are thinking about it, like questioners. The cues, they might show up, but no lady's gonna tell her husband Matthias. Not gonna wander over to Brett and go. Me and the girls are meeting down at Title IX to watch the Liberty and Son play. Not a thing.

[Brady]

I'm calling Cordone Cordoba immediately.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing? You're over immediately. Your first. When did you become a lesbian?

[Brady]

Yeah, we're done.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not a lesbian. I just love girl sports. That means you're a lesbian. Three women love men's sports because they can look at the guys in the shorts. What are you doing? I just think it's fun. You're a lesbian, then you just won't admit it. No, straight women run to a sports bar to watch the Shock play the Liberty Lesbian playoff. Basketball is what it is. It's just not. It's not a good business model. But good luck to you. I understand Thursday is Red Wings day prior. Delicious. Hot.

[Brady]

Red Wings play men's sports in there.

[John Holmberg]

Red hot.

[Brett]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98 Holmberg's. Morning sickness. Can I get some napkins? No. Why? I want to see it on your mouth, like, oh, God. Prove you're looking good. Prove you did it. Licking my fingers. Anyway, I laughed at it because it's laughable to think that they're trying to pull that over. Let me be the voice.

[Brady]

Lunch today.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'll go. I guarantee it. Like, it's a business that looks at us like, all right, assholes. Like, what are you doing here? You've already narrowed down your prospective client base to only people who love women's sports, and that's like nine or 10 people. You're gonna fail badly. You gotta open it up. To other. The minute you say lesbian bar, straight guys are out. Straight women, mostly out. So now you're down to, like, that small group. Oh, it's fine, but it's just. Look, nobody's talking to these people about the business plan. They're trying to fool you into thinking it's girl sports. It's not. And the first day you take your daughter down there. Brady, none of us have done it. You're looking around and go, all right, we're getting out of here, cuz you're right. The little groomer section, it would feel like you're out here. Fish out of water, so. So to speak. Sorry I did. That's a poor choice of fish out of water is probably not.

[Brady]

It's probably special of the day.

[John Holmberg]

Friday. Fish fry. You don't even have a fryer. I know.

[Brett]

Three clam boats.

[John Holmberg]

Look, we can make fun of it all we want because it's hilarious, but. Yeah, I saw that on the news. Did it? The news never flips out over a sports bar opening up. Oh, my God. Look at this. All sports again. If you said we're only showing black athletes, you've narrowed your whole face down. Like, oh, all right. I don't think I'm allowed in there. I don't think you're welcoming me. Just open a sports bar. If it turns into a lesbian girls sports bar, awesome. Let it be what it is. You know, you might as well have a sign that just says, no breeders. Show all sports. I thought that was the whole point of women's sports is that it was all equal. Show them all.

[Brett]

Maybe there's, you know, they felt they're not getting enough screens when they go to a regular sports.

[John Holmberg]

You're not getting any screens at a regular sports bar. We want to watch real sports.

[Brett]

You will.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. Hey, the Cavs and Thunder are playing today. It's pretty big games. Two best teams in basketball. Sorry. Let's dick basketball. We don't show that here. Oh, don't go down the road to what titled 69. I don't know. What do I do? Point me in a direction where I can watch what you're calling dick ball. Yeah.

[Brady]

Or pretty much any other bar.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, every other bar in the. In the nation. Oh, all right. You're the only one that doesn't show it. Yeah, we're a sports bar, but not for that. You're going out of business.

[Brady]

Thanks, Darkest.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There's no way you're staying abysmal. It smells funny in here too. Yeah, I was a fish fry last night. Sorry.

[Brett]

People don't realize we have a dude room too.

[John Holmberg]

I bet you do. Yeah, it's gonna be real uncomfortable in there. And that one, dude. So good for you. I hope it lasts. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm just saying, from a business perspective, it sounds a little narrow target. It's a narrow target, but they're in the right area. Oh, they're down there in that. But then just call it what it is. It's a lesbian bar. I'm fine with that. That's a good thing. I also was watching old game shows. Like, I Like to do. And one of the things they sent contestants home with was this thing called polyglycote. I didn't know what that was, and I looked it up. In the 70s, they lied to you and told you that they could spray something on the bottom of your car. It made it quieter. That was Polyglyco. The under. That was part of the deal was undercarriage polyglyco.

[Brett]

I thought it was like a rust.

[John Holmberg]

Proof they were giving away. It helped with that. But you could spray it in there, and it would. And it would. And it would create some sort of, like, barrier between the road and you and. And the polyglycote of it. I'm like. They said, I remember that. So I looked up, like, what happened to polyglycote? And it's just. The whole thing is like, just this. It was just a gooey clear coat paint that you put on the bottom of your car. And it would protect against, you know.

[Brady]

Like, little rust and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

That was a little bit. That wasn't real.

[Brett]

Well, big add on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, huge polygly. The rust proofing underneath. Yeah, rust proofing was back east, it was $500. Yeah, it was essential then Poly glyco. And it was. The thing creates a barrier between you and the road. Keeps it quieter. No, it doesn't. And it was like, no, this is all bad. They had another thing called contact. They sent people home with contact. And contact was little pills that. It was just dietary stuff. It was speed. It was complete speed. I looked content.

[Brett]

I remember. I thought it was a cold medicine.

[John Holmberg]

At one time, Contact had all sorts of stuff, but one was first completely appetite suppressant. Proven appetite suppressant. And when did it go away? In the 80s, when the FDA is like, you got to stop saying this. You just selling speed to people. Then it changed into something called fen phen. And that was allowed in there for a little while until people started dying.

[Brett]

Well, they got another one.

[John Holmberg]

Wegovy and all the other one. When everybody starts croaking from.

[Brett]

And then in California, the world's first injectable cbd. There, it's happening. FDA is not real happy.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. Why in the world would you want that?

[Brett]

Well, people are testifying that they have a lot of patients that believe in this injectable hemp CBD because it's helping with the arthritis.

[John Holmberg]

And isn't that what CBD does anyway?

[Brett]

Crohn's disease.

[John Holmberg]

This is what everybody always says take CBD for in the first place. Why you got to put in your veins?

[Brett]

Because it's more effective.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Brett]

It's called Pico 4.

[John Holmberg]

Intravenous marijuana use is a bad thing. Go do your thing. Go do whatever you want. Go to title nine and shoot up all the pot you want. Make my grandma right when she goes, I don't want you shooting up that pot. Now you can. So weird. Just. It's just everything's gone crazy. I would go to title nine for just to see it, but I don't feel like I'd be welcome there. I do feel like we'd get asked what we're up to. I got a Mercury jersey. I go wear that. They gave me one a long time.

[Brady]

I was gonna say, where the hell.

[Brett]

Did you get that?

[John Holmberg]

Give me a Mercury jersey for a Taurasi. No, it's got mine name on it. For some reason they put like me on there. Like, I have a Holmberg 98 Mercury jersey. Like, thanks. You know, it would make.

[Brady]

Maybe they thought your contract.

[John Holmberg]

You know what, you'd be over at.

[Brady]

All next week or they thought not.

[John Holmberg]

A bad idea to get him out there. This might get 10, 12 rebounds extra. Either way, good luck to you. If you open a lesbian bar, the news will cover it. That's basically where we're at. And all the very unique.

[Brett]

Is it lesbian bar, Title nine.

[John Holmberg]

It's there they have a little catch.

[Brady]

Usually nightclubs.

[Brett]

Yeah, right.

[John Holmberg]

Title nine. Yeah. Show me some of that.

[Brett]

Too official.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It seems like bureaucratic. Oh, we're signing papers on this. Yeah. You know, I want to. I want the trans involved in this. Why don't these trans people open up a bar and have some of them trans athletes that are knocking ladies out in boxing and stuff. Show only that. Show that. Just have it on a loop. That dude that knocks that girl silly, that swimmer, the one that won't stop Thomas. And then you show the other one that tried to kill that girl with a volleyball. It's never happened in the history of sports. Took her head off with a volleyball.

[Brett]

That's all you have to do is just loop that.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, if I gave you a volleyball and I said hit someone with this hard enough that you'll meet the President, it would be nearly impossible to do. Do it. If I give you this and you hit, I can. I can guarantee you hit somebody with this hard enough, you'll meet the President. What? Yep. Both of you. If we tried a thousand times for me to open your skull up and give you a concussion with a Wilson so you could meet the President, we would. You'd be. It would take months for us to hit you in the face so hard you met the president. But they did it. They managed to do that in a volleyball game.

[Brett]

I saw that. There's a kid playing, I forget which college, but he has the fastest serve. It's 84 miles per hour.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty good. You don't want to get in the way of it. Don't get me wrong.

[Brett]

No. And those guys are, you know.

[John Holmberg]

But I still think I could take a shot in the face and go, my bad. And this check out for the rest of the game.

[Brett]

It's got to happen.

[John Holmberg]

I don't get to meet the president. I don't get to meet the president. If my face gets in the way of a fast volleyball, it might knock me out. But I don't get to meet the president.

[Brett]

I don't know. I kind of like that rule.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I think it's neat. Yeah. But the problem is you do that and people just be standing their faces up, some of them red hats and their faces in the air again.

[Brett]

But again, good element for the game.

[John Holmberg]

I would have it on a loop down at title nine. Down to title nine. That's what I do on a loop.

[Brett]

They can go to the tape, you know, just make the Milk the game a little bit longer. They're. They did that on purpose.

[John Holmberg]

It's a flop.

[Brett]

It's a flop.

[John Holmberg]

No presidential meeting for you in the what? I'm going to throw a guess out. In the history of volleyball, 10 billion spikes. 10 billion is the number I'm gonna throw out there. One has resulted in someone meeting the president. One. You put one dude who couldn't make the men's team in a skirt and have him smash a spike. And he took out another girl to the point where she had to go to, like, the State of the Union.

[Brett]

We've had numerous, numerous highlights of people catching the face.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it doesn't feel good. But nobody's ever had to. Nobody's ever gotten to be a special guest at the State of the Union because of that. But if I started that trans bar, that would be on a loop all day. That and an Iranian boxer just making mince meat of that Italian girl in the Olympics. Be doing that all day long. So Good luck. Title 9. We'll stick to our boy bars. I know that sounds bad, but we'll. And now we have to. When you go to the. The boy bar, there's no way you and I go golfing. And we're with Doug King and Todd Merrill, who I don't think like sports, but maybe. And we're like, you guys want to meet up at Title 9 and watch the game? Like, yeah, who's playing? Liberty and the Shock? No. I don't know. Not going to that. The Merc has a. They got a game tonight, but I don't want to pay those exorbitant ticket prices of 8 to $12 or get a pack of gum at fries and get a freebie. So let's just go to title nine and watch the game. If you're that into the Mercury, you're going. It's not like those tickets are hard to get. Kids sell a son's ticket in the first 15 rows right now for over a hundred dollars. So I can't imagine them Mercs crushing. Yeah. I don't get it. Anyway, the world's all.

[Brady]

Dub Hub's not filled with Merc tickets or.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it is, but it's a bunch of delusional lesbians trying to get their money back.

[Brett]

Might be a bunch of laptops out there for the fantasy stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the fantasies are different. They're not playing.

[Brady]

Yeah, the last part is different.

[John Holmberg]

There's a fantasy involved on that screen. There's no money involved unless it's going out.

[Brett]

Get the draft.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Does the WNBA have a fantasy thing? And it just includes. It's like Dungeons and Dragons. It's just they come up with their own stories. And who gets to nail Sophie Cunningham? All right, roll the dice. My wizard's about to bone. Sophie.

[Brett]

Triple blonde.

[John Holmberg]

I won. I got it. Ooh, Weekend in the bathroom with Angel Reese. Their fantasy is totally different.

[Brady]

No, they do have that.

[John Holmberg]

Fantasy wnba. Fantasy basketball.

[Brady]

How to play fantasy women's basketball, esp.

[John Holmberg]

You go on pornhub, you find two ladies, and you rub your bean. You dribble a basketball and rub your bean at the.

[Brady]

Should we create a league?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. That's what we're doing now.

[Brett]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98. KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I tried to put together a bracket for the women's ncaa. Oh, man. Yeah, it's like Colgate and something called Bishop. I'm like, these. These aren't even schools. These are just five or six people that got together and got uniforms. Those Speaker City and, like, there's. I don't know, like, there's. There's. There's teams out there. Like, I don't even know what's going on.

[Dick Toledo]

You can always just go buy seeds on that woman's watch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's the top five teams. One will. One will upset one two will upset a one. But you're never going to get the 11 seed in there because they're like. It's like Grand Canyon got in Montana State. They just load them up. For some reason they still think they need 64 participants. And just because the dudes do it. Cut that down to 16.

[Dick Toledo]

It's 68 now, John.

[John Holmberg]

Well, right, yeah, just go with 16. On the girls side, we don't need to waste time with the 16th ranked team, let alone four of them going against Virginia, Connecticut, wherever else they got. Girls basketball. It's good. Anyway, Title nine, you can go there. Starting last set.

[Brady]

We'll meet you there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the news said that they were only open from 10 to 3 because by then it's just their hands are probably all carpal tunneled. Their forearms hurt from all that bean rubbing.

[Brady]

Boy, Larry's ratings are gonna be terrible. Ten to three.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus.

[Brady]

Right when Larry's on, nobody's gonna be listening.

[John Holmberg]

He needs to pump up some girl sports information while he's on. Call the Palmett. What do you got on the big board of musical treats on St. Patty's Day? All right.

[Brady]

Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. And well, now it's time to get in in there. Get that bike tuned up, ready for the trails because it is starting to warm up out there and especially I think next week. We're 90s, so make sure you get that bike tuned up at either location. The brand new one out of their power and McDowell or the OG Gilbert Road and Southern.

[John Holmberg]

I have a story about Josh from Action Ride Shop.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This weekend. So Josh, I was talking to him about my bike on Friday and I said, the sun's my guy. Dylan was schmoozing me because he wants me to renew my tickets. And he's like, I want you to have some cool stuff. I like you. He was very cool. Dylan's a good dude and. But I'm breaking up with them and I'm gonna renew my tickets through Kevin Ray because I'm not paying. They raised the prices, Dylan. I told you why. The prices for the Suns have gone up every year I've had season tickets.

[Brady]

They raised them again.

[John Holmberg]

Again with this. That's enough. Does it make.

[Dick Toledo]

K Ray's an official salesman there, so.

[John Holmberg]

No, but Kray's got a connection, a guy. And it's not even like better prices. It's just me, him and his buddy are going to buy in together and just make it cheaper for all of us. It's just a smarter Way to go. So. But they gave us. They gave me two tickets to this, like, special seating area. So my two tickets were available. And I'm like, this is perfect. You know, Josh has been awesome to us. He's a great client. Like, I can take Josh with. And so I text Josh, and I said I wasn't gonna make it out to the bike shop. So I text him, and I said, hey. I said, you want my tickets to the Suns game? He goes, sure. That's great if the offer's there. Waited a little bit. Is the offer still there? I do it. And I said, fantastic. So I sent him over the thing for Friday night. I said, well, we'll head into the Rah Rah room, and we'll have some fun there. I took my buddy Brian, and then it says about. I don't know, like, an hour after I asked him if he wanted to go, and he said yes, he text me, goes, here's some questions I have. I like to have an idea of what I'm getting into. Who's your guest? How much interaction is expected? I'm assuming. I'm assuming two tickets. So I am to bring someone with me. I. I guess I'd like to know how to filter who I might invite so I don't bring some f tard with me. I'm like, bring whoever you want. This is the craziest thing ever. So he brings his wife. She's an incredibly sweet lady. So Josh and his wife and me and my friend Brian are at the game. We're heading down to the Rah Rah room now. Brady, you've been there. You boys aren't invited yet. Clean it up maybe. It's getting close, so. And Brady was cusp. Squad goals at best, right? Yeah, it is squad goals. You got to have them. You got to have them, Toledo. It's the coat. Anyway, I get it. And I don't want to put you under pressure to have to buy me dinner there. It's just too much. I've seen your credit card not go through, and I can't laugh at you there. Life Change your loan, man. No, no, not that. You're good. Oh, geez.

[Brett]

He's got.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Don't use equity. Anyway, so we're in there, and I. I'm at my little spot at the bar, my Norman Cliff spot at the bar. I'm talking to Ryan, the sommelier. I'm talking to Bryce. Wasn't there that way. Staff. We're all having a good time. Everything's good. Sitting in My normal spot. I got Brian next to me, guy named Anthony that I've gotten to know there. He's hanging out, talking to him. And bartender comes over. I say, josh, what do you want? And he goes, whatever you're having. Like, so I. And Tamara's not standing there. So overcomes the bartender. I say, okay, I need to two vodka sodas. Brian gets a vodka bottle. Opus 1 turned to the wife and I said, what would you like? And she's just blank. And she goes, well, I don't drink. I'm like, that's okay. What do you want? Like what? She goes, do they have juice? And I'm like, babies ask for juice. That's not. You put your hands in the juice. Juice. Juice, Papa juice. Like, don't you're an adult, have an answer for what do you want? So I turned to the bartender and the worst question ever. And I'm like, do you guys have juice? And she looks at me and she goes, pineapple juice. And I'm like, I don't know. I'm in the same boat as you. So we kept all night long. Everybody at the Raha rooms is looking at the camera going, juice. Do you need more juice? In the sticky hands that kids always ask with. She took a beating for two hours. Couldn't have been nicer about it. But as an adult at a bar, if you don't drink, you need an answer.

[Brady]

You need to go to 7Up or something.

[John Holmberg]

Cranberry.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, say a juice is not an answer to anything. If I came to your house and like, hey, you want to drink juice? Like, what are you, from Russia? Is that the only word you know? Juice. Juice. Get him some juice. Doesn't matter what kind. So I even. I said to the bartender, like, I think she just needs milk and a capped cup. You want a glass of milk?

[Brett]

Sippy.

[John Holmberg]

Adult sippy cups.

[Dick Toledo]

They have those. They're called Stanleys.

[John Holmberg]

That's what it is. Let me put it in Stanley. She's sloppy, like, juice, Juice. So the guide makes her like a lemonade sort of. And everybody. That's a juice. More juice. Like, she's become Lady Juice. So if you know her, if you're ever up at Action Ride Shop, bring in a thing of juice and get 10% off. I think if you wander into either. Either location, the traditional one or the brand new one up there at Power Wander in there with your. You know. Any specific? No specific. Juice. It doesn't matter. Coconut juice, cranberry. She just wants juice. And he's got to Keep her in juice and one of those squeezable bags. Those juice.

[Brett]

Go.

[John Holmberg]

Juice.

[Brady]

5% off. You come in with Capri Sun.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. 15 off. Any purchase to keep. To keep Mrs. Burrell in the juice. I've never had an adult say that. I bartended for a while, and nobody ever said at the bar, go have a little juice. I'm gonna need more. More. I. I can't just pour something. I think you mean, and she's an adult. It wasn't her first day. It's like when we take Larry to bars and he orders something stupid. It's like Larry, although he sticks to it. His amaretto. No.

[Brady]

Midori.

[John Holmberg]

Midori Amaretto sound a little classier. His nuclear green Midori. Yes. Almond versus. Because you can't. You can walk around with an amaretto sour and no one knows.

[Dick Toledo]

It doesn't look nuclear.

[John Holmberg]

He walks around, looks like Homer Simpson poured him a drink. But it's like, larry, you're embarrassing everybody at the table. Do you have Midori? Everybody's head hits. Oh, Christy, ask the lady. They go. And they blow the dirt off the top of it. We do have it. And then they turn the bottle over, and it's coagulated into hard rock. It's a Jolly Rancher. Now do you want it anyway? Juice is not an answer to anything, but I loved every second of it. Have a say. All right.

[Brady]

On the list. Ob The. The standbys. Green Jello up there. House of Pain. Flogging Molly. Drop Kick. Seven, Dust Thin Lizzie. The boys are back in town for us. Being back. And the bus boys. The boys are back for us.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing screams Ireland like the bus boys. Barack Obama's Irish. Oh, yeah, that's true. When he went there, I didn't know that. Again, I was watching Ariel Ireland and one of the Cities had, like, 400 people in. It was his ancestral home. His grandfather. Great grandfather is from there, and that's why he went there. They built a center. The Barack Obama. It's a gas station. It's a Barack Obama gas station and shopping center with his face on it. His pictures everywhere.

[Dick Toledo]

I can see the memes coming in already with the apostrophe.

[John Holmberg]

There's no apostrophe. And I thought the same thing. I'm like, wow, this is. Are they. Are they having a go with us here? Luca thinks he's Irish. Barack Obama build him a gas station. And he went there and he talked to him, and they lost their minds. They. There's pictures of him everywhere. So the busboys might Be Irish. You don't know.

[Brady]

Well, let's play that.

[John Holmberg]

If Barack is so. Yeah, that's the one we'll go with. Instead of going with flogging Molly and the traditional stuff. While you choke down.

[Brady]

You want the busboys?

[John Holmberg]

Sure. While you choke down that miserable garbage you call food Irish people. Here's a bland boiled potato, some boiled cabbage, and some over salted corned beef. Happy St. Patty's Day. No wonder they're drunk. They gotta wash all that down. You'd drink 15 beers too, if your mouth was filled with that much salt. Can't quite get the dryness out of my mouth. I think it's the pound of salt on your corned beef tradition. Pickle it. You even go down to Seamus McCaffrey's downtown and they're not serving corned beef and cabbage every day. They go out of business trying to make that all the time. You gotta brine all that. Nobody's ordering that because it's gross. It's time we stopped with the cultural force feeding. If you're still living off of stuff. That was from the 1400s. We've advanced your tamales. Terrible corned beef. Terrible lutvin. Terrible peeps. Terrible fruitcake. We have all these traditions of food that we don't eat any other time. Why do we. Why are we faking it? It's gross.

[Dick Toledo]

Throw another one on there. The panettone cakes or whatever that come in a box.

[John Holmberg]

What's that like?

[Dick Toledo]

It comes the Italian box. Sorry, Brett. They're not good either.

[John Holmberg]

When the world is that. It's a lunchbox of cake. No, no, no.

[Brett]

You can get them at Cost plus or World Market.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, there's reason. No, they don't sell them in normal places.

[John Holmberg]

They have food in the World Market that's like a. You have to make it.

[Dick Toledo]

Are you questioning him?

[John Holmberg]

No, no. I dare you, sir. Look, I know if there's food in a place, he's gonna smell it. He's a truffle pig.

[Brett]

But I thought we actually have one of those that we've been handing out between my families every year. It's the same one.

[Brady]

It's like the fruitcake.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Oh, is it cooked, though?

[Brett]

It's in a box.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's okay because I thought everything sponge cake at World Market was like powder that you made at home. I thought it was just ingredients.

[Brett]

No, it's already made. It's packaged in there.

[John Holmberg]

It's a box of cake and what's inside of it.

[Brett]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

It's just Full of nuts and.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, it's almost dates.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's like the Italian fruitcake, basically.

[John Holmberg]

It's like, I don't know what to get anybody.

[Brady]

Here you go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's defeated itself, since nobody's even heard of it. At least they didn't start a holiday around it. Italians have too much good food to worry about their crap. I'm pretty sure I can go to an Italian celebration, Columbus Day. I go to Brett's house. There might be a couple of nut butter bread things that I'm not gonna.

[Brady]

And they're probably full there. Nobody's tucking it.

[John Holmberg]

There's nine or 10 buckets that I'm gonna go to get burnt almonds on this one. That's disgusting. That looks like an error. All right. Anyway, let's do it. It. You got it?

[Brady]

I got it.

[Brett]

I think they hold like a Twinkie, you know, like 25 years shelf life.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Not interested.

[Dick Toledo]

Only you are.

[John Holmberg]

So you're gonna test that? Probably soon. I bet.

[Brett]

Yeah. The one who gets on the 25th year has to eat it.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna be that day. He's on his deathbed. Give me the cake. It's time. Try it. Let's try. It's 30 years old. I know. Let me have another bite. Let's do it. It's your busboys with Thin Lizzie and Thin Lizzy Irish. Yeah, you know, same thing. It is. Okay. Lead singer, at least. It's the busboys. Everybody, it's your happy St Patty's Day the boys are back.

[Brett]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. Look at you, pj.