03-18-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona | Episode Summary (03-18-25)

Hosted by John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo.

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1. Introduction and Listener Q&A

Timestamp: [00:43] - [06:10]

The episode kicks off with a lively advertisement segment before transitioning into a listener-driven discussion. A listener named Tyson reaches out seeking advice on experiencing authentic Italian culture in Rome beyond the typical tourist attractions. John Holmberg leads the conversation, emphasizing the allure of exploring iconic Godfather movie locations.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: "You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here." ([00:43])
• Listener: "You'll break your neck." ([01:16])

The hosts dive deep into Godfather II shoot locations, particularly highlighting Don Chichio's Villa in Sicily. Brady suggests visiting renowned filming sites, while John expresses a desire to witness scenes reminiscent of Michael Corleone's pivotal moments in the film. The discussion extends to other cinematic landmarks in Italy and Arizona, blending pop culture with travel insights.

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2. Personal Anecdotes and Interactions

Timestamp: [06:10] - [15:00]

The conversation shifts to personal stories, including John's frustration with his cracked phone screen and the challenges of finding legitimate repair services. A humorous yet relatable anecdote unfolds when John recounts an interaction with a listener's girlfriend who humorously links his voice to the smell of farts, leading to lighthearted ribbing among the hosts.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: "Your voice smells like farts." ([29:18])
• John Holmberg: "Farts aren't funny. So wait a minute." ([29:43])

3. Health, Weight Loss, and Comedy

Timestamp: [15:00] - [25:00]

Brett and John delve into discussions about weight loss and maintaining health without sacrificing their comedic personas. Brett shares his journey, highlighting his current weight as a balance between health and comedic appeal. The conversation touches on societal perceptions of body image in comedy, with both hosts advocating for self-acceptance and health over conforming to audience expectations.

Notable Quotes:

• Brett Vesely: "I'm too. I'm just jacked under this fat."
• John Holmberg: "It's what's underneath that counts. It's what's on the inside that matters."

4. Guest Appearance: Bert Kreischer

Timestamp: [25:00] - [50:00]

Comedian Bert Kreischer joins the show, bringing excitement with his upcoming events and recent Netflix special titled "Lucky." Bert discusses his "Permission to Party" world tour, which includes a unique 5K run featuring himself, Tom Segura, and Jelly Roll. The hosts praise Bert's infectious energy and comedic prowess, sharing anecdotes about past collaborations and the challenges of coordinating appearances.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: "Visit Bertbertbert.com. He's at Desert Diamond Arena, where the hockey used to be."
• Brett Vesely: "I'm screaming right now on Netflix."

Bert elaborates on his tour plans, emphasizing inclusivity and interactive experiences for fans. The segment highlights the camaraderie among the hosts and their genuine appreciation for Bert's contributions to the show.

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5. Interactive Segment: "Rip and Read"

Timestamp: [50:00] - [80:00]

In a fun and engaging segment, the hosts introduce a game called "rip and read," where Brady attempts to articulate challenging phrases and sentences provided by listeners. This segment showcases the group's dynamic chemistry and humor as Brady navigates through tongue-twisters and complex terminology, often leading to humorous stumbles and laughter.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: "Blue glue gun." ([117:24])
• Listener (Don): "Blue glue gun" ([117:24])

The game not only entertains but also fosters listener participation, enhancing the interactive nature of the show. Despite some playful failures, the segment underscores the hosts' ability to create a lively and inclusive environment for their audience.

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6. News Snippets and Trivia

Timestamp: [80:00] - [110:00]

Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse quick news updates and fun facts, ranging from animal trivia to odd events. Highlights include:

• Postal Worker Theft: A Washington, D.C. postal worker was convicted of stealing over $1.6 million in checks, funding lavish vacations and strip club trips.
• Organisms Named After Celebrities: Discussion on various species named in honor of famous personalities, adding an educational twist to the show.
• St. Patrick's Day Parade Insights: Observations on parade celebrations and related incidents, blending humor with local event coverage.

Notable Quotes:

• Listener: "Train has more monthly listeners on Spotify than Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Van Halen..." ([78:33])
• John Holmberg: "Rural juror." ([125:55])

These snippets provide a mix of humor, information, and relatability, keeping listeners informed and entertained with a variety of topics.

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7. Sponsorship and Commercial Segments

Timestamp: Interspersed Throughout

The show features various sponsorships seamlessly integrated into the conversation, promoting local businesses and services. Key sponsors include:

• FanDuel: Offering bonus bets and promoting online sports wagering.
• MMPGuns.com: Arizona's trusted marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories.
• All Pro Shade Concepts: Specializing in patio shades to combat Arizona's intense sun.
• ReactDefense.com: Providing tactical self-defense training and seminars.

Notable Quotes:

• Dick Toledo: "It's not weird." ([Various Timestamps])
• John Holmberg: "No membership fee." ([Various Timestamps])

These commercial segments are crafted to align with the show's energetic and conversational tone, ensuring they resonate organically with the audience.

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8. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events

Timestamp: [110:00] - End

As the episode wraps up, the hosts tease upcoming events and specials, including movie releases, live performances, and more interactive segments. John Holmberg reflects on the episode's highlights, expressing gratitude to guests and listeners alike, while anticipating future discussions and activities.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: "You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here." ([Final Timestamp])
• Brett Vesely: "It's pretty cool, actually."

The closing maintains the show's signature humor and camaraderie, leaving listeners eager for the next episode.

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of pop culture discussions, personal anecdotes, interactive games, and engaging guest appearances, all wrapped in the show's trademark humor and lively banter. With thoughtful listener interactions and a vibrant host dynamic, the episode delivers entertainment and information, making it a standout offering for both regular and new listeners.

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Note: All timestamps are approximate and correspond to the provided transcript segments.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Brett]

He's evil sitting right here.

[John]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It's 5:45. Hi, my name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. This. It's the morning sickness. Hold on, I gotta take a sip. I got granola bar in my choke today.

[Listener]

I don't want to choke on that. Spit that over there. Getting in my eye or Brett's.

[John]

Hey, now you're talking to me like I'm your wife. Jesus, that was dirty. Breaking down from there.

[Listener]

You'll break your neck.

[John]

Don't choke on that. You'll get it in Brett's eye. What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Anyway, I don't know how that just happened. Before we get anything started, Brett, they got a guy emailed and said I need immediate help from Brett, me immediately.

[Brady]

That's Brady's job.

[John]

That's what I thought, but this is specifically for you.

[Brady]

All right.

[John]

It says, I'm in Rome and I'm seeing. I need to go do some stuff. So ask Brett. I got three days left. I'm done. Venice and the rest of the country. Rome is the last spot. I need some cool Italian advice. Help me out. If you were in. If you were in Italy, besides the touristy stuff, what one thing do you need to go do in Rome and. Well, he can be in Rome, but. I know, but he can go to Italy. He's in Italy. And go. He can travel. You don't. You don't ask and say, hey, keep it specific to this corner because then figure it out yourself. You can See where you're at. I'm talking about, like, you. You're in Rome. You have Italy access. Where do we go? What mob thing do you have to visit?

[Brady]

I mean, I would, you know, just because of the heritage and everything. I'd start visiting, like the Godfather to, like, location.

[John]

I knew this was coming. Yeah. That was what I was going to get.

[Brady]

You're going to have to travel farther south.

[John]

You're going to be not in Rome.

[Listener]

You have to go to Sicily.

[John]

You got to go to movie locations.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I mean, you could. You could like. Like the. The. The. Where Michael got married in the Godfather, too. The car blew up.

[John]

The.

[Brady]

Yeah, you can find all that stuff.

[John]

Okay.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

So you go online and you say.

[Brady]

Godfather Movie set, Godfather 2 movie locations. You'll find it.

[John]

All right. Yeah. Because they weren't over there in one. Right. Two is when they snuck over there.

[Brady]

But two was like, the one they really just focused on.

[John]

Robert De Niro was walking around as the young Corleone. All right. Okay. There you go. So that's it. I knew that was it. I had a feeling you'd be like, oh, Godfather 2 shooting locations. There's nothing else in Italy to see.

[Brady]

I mean, ob. The coliseums there and all that kind of, you know, whatever.

[John]

There it is. You fly over it. Exactly. Yeah.

[Listener]

The Amalfi coast. Amazing.

[John]

Nobody's asking you. Of course it's amazing. It's a tourist attraction not far from her. No, Brady, ask him where are the sites for the Godfather 2 stuff. The Amalfi coast. Everybody knows about that. Everybody knows that. Rome, the tower that's crooked, all the garbage, old things, the aqueduct, blah, blah, blah. Give me what I want from an Italian who goes over there and says, this is where Silvio was when Gandolfini picked him up in the Sopranos. That's when you start going, oh, stuff I can relate to.

[Brady]

Yeah. I mean, because it's all stuff you've seen before. So, you know, you fly over Rome.

[John]

You've seen Rome. There's the Vatican. There's the Coliseum. Looks the same as it does on tv. Give me something where I can stand at that castle house that they filmed Godfather at. Glorious stuff like that. It's like me going to. Up to, you know, Tahoe. There's one reason to go to Tahoe. I know the lake's there. Where's Michael's house? That's all I'm going for. Oh, this is beautiful. Fantastic. The lake. Seen this on tv. I want to go stand where Michael stood. I want to Be near the boat where they threw Fredo in. God damn it, I want to go now.

[Brady]

I'm in.

[John]

How it works. So, yes. So you're. There you are, you're in Rome. Use your phone and say, go south. You're looking right now, aren't you? Yeah. Godfather two shooting locations.

[Brady]

Villa you can visit that. All that kind of stuff where he. When he went and cut him across the.

[John]

From.

[Brady]

From shoulder down to his gut.

[John]

Don Chichio's villa. Brady, you're gonna give me a mouthy. Where is that?

[Brady]

Yeah, that is in Sicily. That part is in Sicily.

[John]

You gotta go down to Sicily. That's. But you're. You're way over there already.

[Brady]

How often do you go all the way over?

[John]

Look, that's like an Italian flying to Phoenix going, what do I do? And somebody's like the Grand Canyon goes, yeah, but it's just so far away. Like, you're already this close. You're never going to be that close to Sicily again. Get over there. His name was Tyson, I think that was asking that question. He fired off this morning.

[Brady]

Great public transportation. I like the trains and everything else.

[Listener]

Yeah, you go to Italy and then you take a little ferry over to Sicily. There you are.

[John]

That's right. You're at Don Ciccio's villa. Nobody thinks to go to Don Chichio's villa except Italians. I would. I would have forgotten about.

[Listener]

On buying.

[John]

You might have been in it, you know, snacks and stuff and had no idea.

[Listener]

It's a good cheese.

[John]

Don Chichio's villa. Don, of course, Brett would know that. And yeah, the Godfather 2's got a few great sites. Any other movies to think about?

[Brady]

There you go.

[John]

Like.

[Brady]

Like right there. You can see there's Don Chichio's bill. This is just some guy that went and visited it.

[John]

Oh, this is a guy said, today. Home movies today. Oh, this is it today. I thought you were. Yes, like today.

[Brady]

And he's kind of going back and forth.

[John]

Come on. Is this where. This is where Brando dies?

[Brady]

No, this is. This is where. This is where De Niro shows up.

[John]

That's right.

[Brady]

Cuts him.

[John]

That's right.

[Brady]

Go right up on the steps, right.

[John]

Up on the stairs. They let you go right up into the house. It's all weeded out. Nobody's been there for how long?

[Brady]

Yeah, it looks like it's. Hasn't been.

[John]

Nobody's touched it.

[Listener]

How much for the house?

[John]

No kidding. Don Chichio's house is in disrepair. You know how mad Don Chichio would be if he could see this. Oh, and he sliced him. That's right. From his. Across the whole thing. Oh, just while he's sitting in there. Yeah. I mean, it's great. Oh, this is amazing. Br. This is so much better than a Mouthy Coast. Go eat it. See that from the plane. Look at that. That's beautiful view. Oh, my goodness. Brett. See, Used to be a tour guide of dumb Italian stuff. What other movies were filmed that you'd be like. I can't even think of things over there that you would. Did Rocky ever go to Italy?

[Brady]

No.

[John]

All right, just checking.

[Brady]

I can't remember.

[John]

I want to be on. I want to be on a road trip with you. Because we wouldn't do. You went to Vegas that time. I'm like, you're not gambling, right? No, I'm gonna take a little tour. And all he did was go over to Robert De Niro's house from Casino. Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

The restaurant we're. We're Pesci owned. That's right where the bank where Sharon Stone come running out of.

[John]

Really?

[Brady]

That's now a weed dispensary.

[John]

Oh, no kidding.

[Brady]

Yeah, me and Fitz went in there.

[John]

How about that? Because I know you went over there. I didn't know you went to the restaurant. Yeah. The one that you couldn't get in.

[Brady]

It was. It was.

[John]

You know, it was Sharon Stone goes bananas inside.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John]

Hey, I wouldn't do that and just get her. Okay.

[Listener]

We played on that. I forget which golf course used to be. But it was the house that they got.

[John]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's when he was.

[Brady]

Yeah, because it's right.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Right on the golf course there. Yeah. And then I remember going by it and Atomic cocktails or the one downtown. It's. That's where. Where Pesci jammed the guy in the neck with the pen and stuff.

[John]

No kidding.

[Brady]

I went. I've been there a couple times.

[Listener]

Cuz he's looking at him.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John]

This is gorgeous.

[Brady]

This is just my pen.

[John]

This is glorious.

[Brady]

Stick that pen up the ass.

[John]

Brett's traveling. And then you should just tell him this. What a famous line was uttered. Stick that pen up your ass. Let's keep moving to Brett's tours of. There's nothing here in Phoenix. You couldn't do any, like, movie shoots.

[Brady]

Used cars was here.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Back in the 80s.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Bill and Ted's.

[John]

Was it the Gauntlet?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

Downtown. Dirty Harry did that thing down there. Yeah. There have been some movies, but I mean nothing Italian. Nothing. Yeah. Nothing that you would take. It's classic. Yeah. You're not gonna get too excited. I'm saying, for somebody just traveling to Phoenix, it's like, oh, I can think of off hand. I don't think De Niro ever. I don't think he's ever been here. If he has, you'd know about it.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. You'd hear him crying.

[John]

Well, he'd be screaming about. I mean, Bernie Sanders is here this week. He might be with him. AOC's here. He's. Because he's gone completely crazy political. But I don't know. I just want to start yelling. All right, well, there you go. We fixed it. Tyson. Luke, there's the answer to your question. You got to get down to Don Chichi's villa. You don't do. What are. What are you doing in Italy if you're there? Oh, I saw the Vatican. Who hasn't?

[Brady]

It's like the Easter cat card.

[John]

Go east or go south.

[Brady]

You'll find it.

[John]

Come back with a story. Like, we saw the Vatican and the Coliseum and the aqueduct, and it was amazing. And then we saw. I'm like, that's what everybody sees. Brett saw Don Chichio's villa, and he's got video of it. I'm talking to.

[Listener]

Just tell them you want to go to the crap on the boot.

[John]

Yeah. Sicily. That's great. It's pretty awesome either way. Get over there. Do the thing. Rome's easy, stupid. Yeah. You'll have pizza somewhere. It's like you're just. You're just doing.

[Listener]

It's all over.

[John]

Yeah. You get the tour. So. I knew you'd know that. I don't know. If I had a fight, a guy asking where's the best place to eat? You'd be like, oh, Don Chichio's villa is an actual restaurant in Rome.

[Listener]

Like getting a Coco Pelly downtown.

[John]

Yeah. Yeah. You have to get a pizza.

[Brady]

Ortega.

[John]

Yep. Gilbert. Yeah. Gilbert who? That's the Gilbert Ortega of Rome. I wonder. There's got to be a thousand of them dudes taking full advantage of that, selling little crosses and stuff by the Vatican. Ridiculous. I'm never going over there. It's too far. Way too far.

[Brady]

I'll go someday.

[John]

This is. I'm touring the labor union yards right now. That's Brett with the best place to see where Jimmy got whacked. That would be a great one. When I was in LA and they do the famous death tour. Yeah. And I lived there, and I had nothing to do one day, and I climbed on one of those buses and just drove around, and they showed Me. You know, it was a long tour. The Black Dahlia murders are way down in South Central. And then we went all the way up to Wonderland and then over to OJ's house, which was like the. That was the. That was the coup de grace.

[Brady]

Was it still there at that time?

[John]

No, they had just started to tear the stuff down. There was a big fence around it and it wasn't. You weren't allowed in there. The same. Wow. And then years later, I went back and it was totally different, but, man, oh, man, is that great. And then. Yeah, we had. And then, you know, they drive you by Nicole's place and where John. John Holmes was Wonderland, and they had that. And he's every. The. The Night Stalker. I got fascinated with riding around LA and seeing where all the bodies were found.

[Brady]

They do the Manson murders, too.

[John]

Yep. You go up Hollywood Hills and see the house, Sharon Tate's house and all that. It was really cool. And also the Sharon Tate house at the time, we had to stop and walk the street and you can only go so far, and only a few of us could do it. Like, you couldn't have the whole bus because the neighbors get furious. It's a very nice area. So you're not. It's a cul de sac. So the bus is going through there. Piss people off. But they're like, this is the road. If you go right up here and if we get stopped, there are only five of us on there on a Tuesday that were creepy enough to get on this thing and start wandering around LA looking. Well, sure enough, I can still smell them. And then you get back on the bus and you leave. The Sharon Tate house has been completely redone and. But the cool thing was later. Rick Dalton.

[Listener]

Is that his.

[John]

Well, that's. Rick Dalton was next door and that hadn't happened yet. So when I saw Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, I'm like, that house is different now. But the Rick Dalton house looks pretty much.

[Brady]

So did they use the same house from the.

[John]

The Tate house was.

[Brady]

Oh, no kidding.

[John]

They were on that road a lot.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

The Tate house is different now, so they rebuilt it. But, yeah, they. They were right up on that same hill. Yeah, it's great. It's so cool. I love that stuff. Anything. How dark and weird that is that I took time and I mean, it's all the things in Los Angeles. And I'm like, I want to see where the bodies were. And then I just looked and there's like eight tours. You want to see where the bodies were? Like, Jesus Christ, I'm not alone. And people just standing in line in Hollywood, like, where are we going?

[Brady]

Comes Harvey Levin on his bus with TMZ and all that kind of stuff.

[John]

Those are the ones I don't understand where you actually go drive past all the tourist stuff. But the body thing is pretty cool. Oh, you went, you know, Chateau Marmont, we got over there. That's where Belushi died and all that. You know, all those people that I think Jimi Hendrix was. Maybe he wasn't there, I don't remember. But there's tons of them. And just keep going. You're like, oh, my God, that's that. And this is where this person got croaked.

[Brady]

And did you do the Specter house too?

[John]

Or he hadn't killed yet.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[John]

Yeah, he had not murdered yet. That's kind of far. Just keeps expanding longer and bigger. Well, there were a couple of them I didn't even know, but they're like legendary LA murders. And you go up the Holmby Hills, there was a murderer up in there, and that's where the Playboy Mansion is. And there was some guy slaughtered his wife in there. And they drive by like, oh, that's kind of neat. But then you realize what you're doing is like the darkest eight hours of your life. And you're on the freeway for some of it. Like just driving all the way over to, I think Bellflower is where Black Dolly is. And they found half that girl up there. And. And you just go over and like, this is where. And it's all. When she got killed. It was a pretty new neighborhood. Not anymore. And you know, that bus makes people. The Germans get nervous when you dirt. All right, we're making a ride here. Everybody duck down. It's like, oh, yeah, we're in South Central.

[Brady]

We gotta right go by Furious Styles house and Craig and Smokey.

[John]

You know what's funny? I tried to find that. That was before Google Maps when I lived there. And I did try to find this. It's not as bad as you think. It's not comfortable at stoplights. Sometimes the bald white guy driving around, well, I had a hat on. Brett, not an idiot. I had lokes and a hat. I wasn't stupid. But I would drive down there, just button my top button and rolled through. I looked like one of the rolling 60s. But you find the avenues that could roll in 60s, the avenues. And then I don't know where they were because they were. They weren't in Compton. They were in something else. So I tried to find it. And if I had today, the Brett's tour guide and you were on your phone, we. You know what? We need to plan a trip to la. Full Beat's playing Los Angeles. We were just talking about this yesterday. The next day we'll drive around the Boys in the Hood sites and get out and start reenacting some of the scenes.

[Listener]

Pull out the camera.

[John]

That's exactly. We'll just stand where Furious Styles was and said, who's bringing him in? You got a plane? Anybody got planes? These fools right here, they're the ones blasting every night. Fool, roll up on me in the set, I'm going to blast his ass. That's exactly what they want, brother. Can you imagine if they walk by and saw me and you redoing that scene? We need to buy everything. Keep black owned, black operated, damn white, Furious style. Speaking the truth, I would love that. But yeah, I. What I did at that time is I went through and found the cross streets of where that truck driver, Reginald Denny got his head bashed in. And everything's Korean or was. I don't know if that's still the case. It was. It was an interesting. There's a lot going on out there in South Central and it's beautiful. You go through, you forget. Like, that was the. That was the, like the Mecca of that area. My old people friends Fred and Paula, who are one's gone now, but Paula's in her 90s and they grew up there in Inglewood. And it was like these beautiful homes and like, you go by he. It's scary. My ex wife's grandparents grew up in South Central and we drove right to their house one day. He was fearless. That's right. That's where I grew up, right there. I used to walk to school and there's just like dudes. Like, it was. I think it was like I was either in Friday or Boys in the Hood because there were dudes just standing outside sipping old English while me and this old man rolled through. The porches are different now. We had. We didn't have so much growth, overgrowth. These people don't take care of their homes the way we used to. I'm like, all right, I'll just keep driving and roll the windows up. When you say stuff like that. Excuse me, homes. These people. That looks like we're having a. We're gonna have to change a tire. I'm like, you're gonna have to change the tire, old man. I am ironically gonna be the fastest dude in this neighborhood, but good luck Old man. Yeah, that one was a little weird, but yeah, it's. It was pretty cool. So I'm. Phoenix has a couple spots, but nobody real famous, you know, that's wise and stuff. Yeah, we don't have like a. We get one.

[Listener]

The Bob Crane.

[John]

Bob Crane House. That's it?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's it.

[John]

As far as I know. Like, there's nothing, you know, local people, like that dude that used to replace windshields, Rick Chandler, when there was another murder at the.

[Listener]

Wasn't the Tovre Mansion or something like that.

[John]

I don't know anything about that deal.

[Listener]

There's a story behind that.

[John]

Probably that's the least historically relevant thing that is historically relevant in this city. Like, nobody in the. No one knows what goes. Oh, they do weddings. That's all anyone. What's this? The Tolvre Mansion? Oh, it used to be the Governor's house. I'm like, I don't think that's true. Like, it was something else, but I don't know where it is. Like, where, like, it is in space and time and, like, what it did. And then somebody will email me and be like, all right. And then we'll all forget. Yeah.

[Listener]

Lights.

[John]

That's a thing. We were talking about that yesterday at Tactical Black.

[Brady]

There's a newspaper reporter that got blown up in his car. Back 70s.

[John]

Blew him up. That's true. Yeah, that's true. One of the Marizona Republic guys got blowed up. And then, of course, local legend Bill Haywood, he pulled a hackman at a hotel room about 15 years ago.

[Brady]

Oh, that's right.

[John]

He and his wife blasted themselves at the Homewood in Homewood. Sweets or something like that. I feel bad, but I don't like that. Like, Bill. Bill Haywood is. I never knew him or anything. He was a radio guy for 30 years here in town.

[Brady]

Legendary here.

[John]

And that's the problem. When you go out like that, that's all you're known for. And plus the poor maid, they did it with guns. Somebody else slept in that room, and the poor maid had to go in there and mop all that up after the cops left and then make it ready for the next guest. That's awful.

[Listener]

They think about how often that happens, you know, and with guns. Well, at hotels and stuff, I get.

[John]

You know.

[Listener]

Remember when. Well, Ralphie was on tour and then he went down to the Florida with a Seminole casino. Anna Nicole. Yeah.

[John]

But I mean, dropping dead in a hotel is one thing. Shooting yourself in a hotel, that's just inconsiderate. If you're gonna do it, pill up, you know, don't blow your brains out and make it so they got to put a new wallpaper. But there is the end of Nicole suite down there at the Seminole Hotel, people. Frank was there at this caliendo. Was there one like I think a week before and then had to go back. He might have had one of them. Might. It was Ralphie or him. One of them might have been there while it was going on because they were looking out the window. And Nicole, when she just died at the Seminole Hotel in Florida.

[Brady]

Oh, I thought you meant here. I was like, no, she died here.

[John]

Okay, Now. And we don't have any good ones.

[Brady]

Yeah, I think Brady's right. I think Bob Crane's the only one.

[John]

Bob Crane is the only one. And driving by. That's an apartment complex. Used to be different, but lived there for two weeks. Yeah. You were here? Brady was.

[Brady]

Oh, really?

[John]

Yeah, he lived in the complex for a little bit when he first moved here. They've changed it a little since.

[Listener]

But it was still had the crime tape around it.

[John]

Yeah. And it's Hogan's Heroes guy. It didn't. It's not new. And if it had crime tape around it in the 90s, they must have been reinvested.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, documentary or something.

[John]

Yeah. Filming for something else. Otherwise, if they still have crime tape up. All right. We're still working on it. It's been 20 years, guys like.

[Listener]

Or it's boarded up. No one's gonna buy that unit.

[Brady]

That thing's been for sale a couple times, actually.

[John]

Yep.

[Brady]

Don't know that one.

[John]

James Gibson on the Apache Trail. See, now that's the stuff we'd have to get into is like the 1900s murders. And. And that's why Tombstone's a thing.

[Brady]

And newly engaged couple killed in the desert.

[John]

Oh, I remember that. I saw a special on that. They got killed way out. This was back in like the 60s, but they got way out. And what. What is a bustling city now was just desert. Yeah, we don't have very good ones.

[Listener]

You mentioned it. Maybe the Brandy Hungerford.

[John]

Yeah. Rick Chance.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

Yeah, he was over there at the hotel. It's Best Western right off the freeway. You'd have a Denny's in it. Now it's a Mikayo's.

[Listener]

Got the. You know. Have you were more involved in that or. We did business with a auto body.

[John]

Oh, geez. That's right. And that's been an ID channel. Jason over there at Scottsdale Collision Center. His. His brother Killed him or they weren't real brothers. They called themselves brothers, but. Yeah, that's right. I forgot about that one.

[Brady]

Oh, the guy from Miranda Rights got stabbed here.

[John]

Oh, yeah, well, there is. You don't want to visit. Where did that. That was in Tucson, though. I'm not going there. I'd rather get stabbed than go to Tucson.

[Brady]

Some dive bar on second in Jackson.

[John]

Oh, no kidding? I thought that was down in Tucson.

[Brady]

Okay, there's a guy.

[John]

There's down below.

[Listener]

I wonder if that's. It was known as the Deuce. They said the bar. I wonder if that's the actual. You know, they re. Did the. The Deuce. It's that big warehouse.

[John]

It can't be the dude. Oh, it can't be.

[Brady]

No, I don't think so.

[John]

It was second in Jackson. Yeah, that's pretty close to that. I don't know. Either way, enjoy yourself. And now I'm getting all these notable Arizona deaths.

[Brady]

Who else?

[John]

Oh, how about the dude who killed himself recently after he was jerking off at the Scottsdale Bikini Bean espresso place? And I'm like, yeah, well, I remember this one. Oh, that was that girl that lived by me when I was.

[Brady]

Yeah, that was like. When we were in, like, elementary school. Everybody was freaking out.

[John]

What was her name?

[Brady]

Christine Christy Fornoff.

[John]

That's right. Oh, we had.

[Listener]

Yeah, Ronnie talks about that.

[John]

People were. Yeah, it was the hell out of every kid. Like, they were telling us all where it was gonna. The dude's out there. It was, like, two weeks, and then. We haven't caught anybody. She's been missing for days, and we had to stay home. We weren't allowed to go outside for a little bit. It was right down the road from my house. Every city's got one of those. We need a celebrity murder, like, a good one, not a local one, like, a real one.

[Brady]

Yeah, we got nothing. I mean, Bob Crane is our still.

[John]

It's kind of like when people get excited about Alice Cooper. It's like, enough. We've had enough time to do a better one than that.

[Brady]

Robert Fisher.

[John]

Robert Fisher's a good story. Either way, I want to kill someone myself because I got this phone Friday.

[Brady]

Alexander.

[John]

Yeah. Who?

[Brady]

Travis.

[John]

Joey Arius. That's a. All right. But she didn't live here. But the apartment. You could go to Travis's apartment. Apartment. But it's. You don't want to visit the victim's place so much. I don't know. I got this brand new phone Friday, and I dropped my old phone a thousand times. And the only thing that happened, the back cracked. This fell out of my hands yesterday. It's already all broken and split. I cracked the hell out of. The whole screen is ruined. And I think three days and my. My, my case is on its way because I didn't get it there. Like, I'll just get it on Amazon. It's $10 cheaper on Amazon. So I ordered it. It should be coming today, right on time. Yesterday. I'm getting out of the Jeep and I hear clunk. And I'm like, what did I drop? I was holding two bottles of water because I was gonna throw them out. I look on the ground, my phone's there. I'm like, oh, I've had you for three days. You better survive the first fall. It didn't. Whole thing is just.

[Listener]

I can't see it.

[John]

Where is it? It's because these don't turn off. So if you get close, you can see it's just shattered. Completely shattered. The whole screen.

[Listener]

Sure did.

[John]

So I have to want to. Now I have to go to one of. Speaking of Brett, I have to go to one of those money laundering businesses that pretends they're still a thing that fixes the glass on your phone.

[Brady]

That's. They're always.

[John]

There's no possible way. I don't believe that those are legitimate. That is a. They're washing cash at those places. There's no way enough people do that. But there's got to be some sort of a warranty I don't know about for three day drop.

[Brady]

You would think.

[John]

Nah.

[Brady]

Still call it aarp, man.

[John]

You know what? There's got to be a few friends at the aarp. I'll see if I get that done. Oh, that was so frustrating. And then a great story. I have to say hi to two people I met last night at the Rah Rah, where my buddy Mark and I went to go see the Suns. Just trounced a team for the first time all year. The Raptors stood no chance in the beginning. Was a little close. And then they did what they should be doing all year to bad teams. They finally had a great game. But it was the Raptors who don't care anymore. And my buddy Joe Libman was there and he brought a friend. So we're hanging out at the Rah Rah Room, and this lady's kind of elbowed her way in next to my friend Mark, and I'm like, mark, would you please make room? And so we start laughing, she starts talking to us, and she's Canadian. And she's a lawyer and she's a feminist. And she said something, she goes, you guys like the NBA, but do you like the wnba? And I started raving and I said, no, no, we like sports. Just joking with her and stuff. And she goes, oh, all right, we're off on a, we're on a bad start here. So I said, I'm not, not, you know, I'm not going to go crazy, but I will tell you that it's the least feminist thing I do. My whole WNBA is not a feminist movement. It's the opposite of one. It's subsidized by men. It's never made money. It doesn't stand on its own. So it's actually an insult to women. And on top of that, women don't support it. So I'm telling her all this and she starts arguing back. She goes, I respect this point and that. She said, mouse. And then I said, and oh, by the way, I said in a different, you know, a ratings way, you know, of the total audience, 38% of the main demographic, 25 to 54 year olds, is men. 20 something percent is women. So where they're aiming the thing, it's not even getting women. I'm like, so women aren't the ones supporting this. That's, it's, that's their problem. It's marketing. And she goes, and she goes, I also know who you are. And I said, oh, you do? And she goes, yeah. And she points to her, I think her husband, boyfriend, whatever, Scott. She points to him and he's just sitting there smiling. She goes, he's a big fan of yours. And I'm like. And let me tell you, she said, let me tell you something. She wasn't mad at me, but she said, let me tell you something else. Oh, she goes, your voice. I've never had anybody say this to me before. Your voice smells like farts. And I'm like, my breath. And she goes, no, no, no, your voice. And I'm like, I don't even know what that means. And she goes, when I ride with him, Scott farts in the car and laughs and listens to you. And he goes, I don't do that. I've got a, I've got a medical condition. Evidently this guy farts constantly. And he farts and leaves her in the car when he runs into the quick trip and leaves us on. I don't know if that's happening right now. So she associates the sound of my voice with the smell of farts. Like some Sort of Pavlovian thing. And I started laughing. I'm like, so when we were talking, you recognized my voice and said, like, you started to smell farts. Naturally. Because I was talking. And she goes, no, but once I realized who you were, because he pointed you out, that's the guy from the radio that we listen to. She goes, oh, is it? And she goes, but you've redeemed yourself tonight. And I said, really? And I said, normally on the radio, I'll talk about the WNBA and how silly it is, and you can't argue back. And I said, because, A, there's no argument, and B, you're a woman. And then she started making fun of her, but she was very nice. And we had a nice back and forth about the wnba. Meanwhile, Scott started farting on us like crazy, and we didn't even know it. So my voice. It's a great T shirt. Your voice smells like farts. Not my breath. My breath was pleasant. I didn't stink. But when I talk, her body brings. But you know when you hear, like, fresh cut grass and it takes you back.

[Listener]

Rotten eggs.

[John]

My voice brings the scent of rotten eggs to her mind, and then she can smell it.

[Brady]

We always say, farts aren't funny. So wait a minute.

[John]

It is. When you're farting on a feminist, there's nothing better. Farts are suddenly hilarious. When you're. When there's a feminist in the car and you're gassing her out. That is funny. She was super nice. It was a lot of fun. But it was a. It was an interesting phrase. I've never heard. I've done this for a long time. But. And I just. And I told him, I'm like, look, what you got to stop doing is farting all over this girl. She's a pleasant lady. He was. I have a. And he kept just saying, screaming, I have a medical condition. I'm like, what medical condition? Sometimes I can't. I just fart. Like, that's not a medical condition. That's lazy. Medical condition is I've got a. And it's got a name. And you don't just shout, I have a medical condition and say, I fart too much. It has to have a name. And he didn't break out a name. So I don't think the doctor's like, you have a medical condition. What is it, doc? I don't really have a name to add, but you fart all over the place.

[Listener]

And Gassy McGassey.

[John]

Yeah, that's what it is. You've Got Lou Gehrig's gas disease. We're gonna name everything we don't know after Lou Gehrig, but they were very sweet people, but I've not heard that before. So hopefully they're at the QT right now. And he's like, I'll be right back. And then he gets out and she just sits in it and then listens to us while he shops around for five hour energy drinks and then comes back, leaves her in the car, gases her out. And then she said, sometimes she gets in the car and turns it on and it's on us. And it smells from the farts from the night before. Ah, this dude's crushing.

[Brady]

He's got to get that checked out, man.

[Listener]

Supposed to say that to a lot of people.

[John]

Why is that?

[Listener]

Oh, because whatever's on the RA if, you know they're on the radio.

[John]

Nice thing, Brady. Evidently, he went 1980s. Honestly broke the knob off. It's only on KUPD. She doesn't ever change the station. She. She. She wades in fart clouds and listens to us. And we couldn't be more grateful. Thanks, Scott. Farting on Feminists is a good band name. Farting on the Feminist. It's an album, maybe.

[Brady]

Sounds like a Primus album.

[John]

She's a lawyer and stuff, but she tried to, you know, we both. Both we came to the agreement. I said, look, you can say. I said, the only beef I have with the WNBA is if you don't like it, people call you a misogynist. That's not fair. I can say, I don't like the Toronto Raptors. And nobody says, I hate Canada, so why. And she's Canadian, so I'm like, why is it fair that they're, you know, immune to scrutiny? That's the problem people have with the wnba when it sucks, you can't say so or you hate women. And she goes, you know what? That's a very good point. She was actually. I think I turned her. I think by the end of it, she started hating ladies, broads in your comments. And then she said, yeah, you know what? You make a good point. And then Scott farted on her and everybody left. But, yeah, that's the thing, too. If you've. Again, I go back to this all the time, and I've saved marriages from the fart guy. Plenty of people have come up to me and said, you've changed my life. We were at the bike shop, and those two people came up to me at auction ride shop and said, you saved our marriage because you tell him not to fart on me anymore. And then he started to ask me how come we don't have sex and you're farting on me all the time. Time. I've saved tons of them. But you can't say I have a medical condition and only fart in the car with your girlfriend because the whole time at the rah rah rah room, Scott didn't fart once. So you have the capability of holding it in. And I even said it's a tight space. When you two first started dating, it was a great. It was a great admission though, because when you two first started dating, he held it in. He was respectful of your space. He didn't fart all over you. And he goes actually to the contrary, like, what? Your first date. I let it. I have a medical condition. Like, Scott, this is not. You just like farting on people.

[Brady]

He needs a new proctologist or something, man. There's something going on.

[John]

We need to proctologist with smaller fingers because whatever's going on. Yeah, cranking that thing open. Either way, it was a pleasant conversation. We had a good time last night. And the sun's just ravaged the Raptors boring basketball game. But it's finally what they should have done. And unfortunately, some or another, they stay alive. That team's a joke. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? Five eight, five nine, eight hundred. We'll get a good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98. Kup, wake up.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird.

[Brett]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Brett]

He's evil sitting right here.

[John]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Thank you very much. Miles to nowhere. Get ready. Bert Kreischer is going to call us in about 23 minutes. They're usually right on time, but Chrysler's got his coming up on May 4th. He's going to do the three bears 5k. Normally does it with Tom Segura from the two bears podcast. They added a third bear, jelly roll, and they're going to run that 5k together. That. That's a visual right there.

[Listener]

Jelly walked it last year and he's running this year.

[John]

Running this year because he's dropped £100. And maybe they're going to get Tracy Morgan in on the deal here in a little bit because Tracy Morgan at the KN last Night. They had to stop the game, and I didn't. I didn't remove them. Yeah, because he started puking all over the court. Tracy Morgan started to throw up all over the basketball court, and his nose started to bleed. I don't know what that is. Is that drugs? I'm throwing a speculation thing out there. But your nose bleeds from coke. I know that.

[Listener]

You can. You can, but can you throw a nose bleed? Yeah. From so much.

[John]

Just vomiting profusely. Yeah, but don't you have the flu or something? You don't just do that. I've thrown up pretty hard before. My nose has never just started. I've never had a nosebleed to the point where I needed a towel unless I'd been punched like something broke before.

[Listener]

Pretty hard.

[John]

Well, sure, you can have a nose issue. This is just throwing up and bleeding all over where I tell you? You've had a nosebleed so bad, you needed a towel and a wheelchair.

[Listener]

No.

[John]

Yeah. I mean, something more is going on than just a dude who puked because he had a bad hot dog.

[Brady]

None of us have been hit by a Walmart truck either.

[John]

So that's what I'm thinking. Like, maybe some sort of brain scramble going on that's kind of haunting them. That's a crazy. I've never seen a game stop because somebody on the one of the crowd is puking on the floor.

[Listener]

Side.

[John]

I don't feel so good. Something going on right now, Brett. Someone give me a towel in a wheelchair. This ain't going my way. Call Jack Donaghy. I'm not coming to work tomorrow. You start puking all over the floor, and then, like, you know the teams are gonna notice.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, I would think.

[John]

And they had to blow a whistle and go, like, hold up a second. The guy from 30 Rock is barfing on the floor. And they. It took a while. You'd think you'd do that. Like, if I'm gonna throw up at a public event, I get up. Unless I'm so drunk I can't when it hits you. But it doesn't puke. Never. Just goes. So Brady. I was like, oh, it doesn't happen that way.

[Listener]

Feel that hot?

[John]

Yeah, you get that. It just. It just doesn't occur where you just start barfing and bleeding and you can't walk.

[Listener]

You have it when I was trying. I mean, but I was little. You know, if you're a little kid.

[John]

Usually it's because you're running around 10 years old. Right. And you just stood there Somewhere walking.

[Listener]

All said, hit me.

[John]

What did you eat?

[Listener]

Don't know. But it was at. This was the Christmas. This dinner that my grandfather was involved in at the school for the blind. No, I think we're at the table for some reason.

[John]

Yeah, well, you didn't like the blind people. They were making you sick.

[Listener]

It might have been the pumpkin pie too. I don't know.

[John]

But probably a little overactive after a meal. Your nose didn't start bleeding and you didn't lose the ability to walk.

[Listener]

No, but I, you know, we did try to get out of there also.

[John]

Right.

[Listener]

Tried to get out of the room.

[John]

Most of the time. Time. Aside from your one experience, imagine the heightened smell, too.

[Listener]

Sure.

[John]

Those little blind kids like, sorry about that, you little bride. Somebody gotta clean this when they find it. I'm leaving. But yeah, I mean, okay, most of the time there's a warning for when you throw up that you can get off and go, I'm in trouble. I got. I played at a Sun's halftime game to promote the 3 on 3 tournament that used to come here. And I played against Michelle Timms and Troy Hayden was out there and two of the Arizona Rattlers and I caught an elbow from a guy in the head and I had eaten too much before. I had a McDonald's burger an hour before. I didn't think the game was going to be as furiously paced as it was that we were trying. And a guy named Richard Ash, who was a giant, played for the Rattlers. He turned and elbowed me in the head accidentally, and I took the shot and I turned him like, I'm sick immediately, but my stomach went nauseous. I'm like, I'm. I've got a problem. I'm not gonna be able to hold this up. Like I. And I'm. But I'm on the court. I'm actually in the middle of the game. So as I keep moving, I'm like, nope, there's definitely a vomit on the way. I don't know if I can. This is not good. And I, I. Because I'm better than Tracy Morgan puked in my mouth and held it. It was pure cheeseburger and. And innards. And I. My cheeks swelled up like a chipmunk and none of it leaked out. And I bol. Put it right back and saved myself years of embarrassment of being the guy who threw up all over the Suns for. I mean, you see those players on.

[Listener]

The field every now and then.

[John]

Oh, they'll puke on a football field, no problem. Nobody stops the game for that Tracy Morgan starts barfing on the sidelines. Man, I've been to a few Suns games where I feel like they're making me sick. I got it.

[Brett]

I'm gonna go.

[John]

But I was gonna say it sound.

[Brady]

Like he was watching the Suns.

[John]

To me, they're decent team. But to me, there's more to the Tracy Morgan story. He was either so drunk and he threw up so violently that his nose broke. Yeah, but I mean, you know that you don't go to a game concussed and not tell somebody. Hey, you know, I'm you. You know, if you're going to a game and you're concussed to the point where, like, I'm. I'm gonna throw up. My. My. My head. Funny. Like, you tell somebody and maybe. But I don't. It just seems to me like it was. It's less the. I've never been around anybody who just goes, sound waiver. My God, that took me by surprise. It's not a you. You know when you're gonna throw up, and maybe he couldn't control that. But it's weird when you watch the video and they put a towel over his face because his nose is bleeding so hard. It's a little strange.

[Brady]

Did he finish the game?

[John]

I don't know. I don't know if they wielded. Do you go back?

[Brady]

Did he come back?

[John]

Yeah, exactly. Like, next game, he's there. Somebody's gonna have to give him a bucket, like, as a joke if he makes it back. This is the type of stuff to me is the precursor to, oh, Tracy's not gonna make it. Because it could have been, like, a stroke. It could have been something terrible, but. And then maybe, if we're lucky, we cross our fingers, Tracy can be part of the two bears 5k next year with Tom and Bert. Tracy Morgan behind him. Slow down, you guys. Oh, my God. Just taking too long. Can we do a 1k? I like when Jalen Brunson shoots. I'm sorry. Mikel Bridges is my favorite one on the Knicks. Oh, is that right, Tracy? Yeah, I like it. Oh, my bad. If you've got a problem where you just vomit, you don't know it. Stay at home. Never go outside, ever. Sometimes I just spontaneously vomit. Okay, we're not friends.

[Brady]

Happens.

[John]

You're never getting in my car. I'm sorry I have to break it to you. I got a disease that sometimes I just start puking. Oh, get out. You don't want to be my friend after that? I don't ever want to be in a room with you again. See, that's why it's crazy. You don't want that to happen. Bert Chrysler. Call us in a little bit. We'll talk to him about it. I'm worried about it. I don't think this was good news for Tracy Morgan because it was early in the game, too. It wasn't like he'd had time to. To guzzle drinks. And I don't think he's much of a, like, show up, drunk guy. I know Tracy's been in this room way before the Walmart truck hit him, where he was not necessarily thrown up. Well, yeah, he might have been, but I think what we were seeing was the end of his night. It might have been 8 in the morning to us, but he had done some things all night long and then showed up to do his radio promo stuff. He pulled his pants down. Whoa. Yeah. And he. For whatever reason, the phrase that he said was, he pulls his pants down. He's got a huge mound of pubic hair. And he goes, I'll keep this old school, like Pete Rose. I'm like, I don't know what any of that means, but it's hilarious. But you're really drunk. And he was. It was bombed. And he got half hard. We had our promotions girl. Shawn was here at the time. You sit on my lap for a little bit. I can't do this interview unless I got a beautiful lady on my lap. And she sat on his lap, and he goes, oh. And he started getting hard, like, through his sweatpants. You want to see it? And he started to pull his pubic. All right, that's enough. You need to go, Sean.

[Listener]

Pete Rose.

[John]

Yeah, see, Pete Rose. I got. I got Charlie Hustle in my pants. Sorry. Sometimes I just spontaneously barf. It's weird, but I'm worried. I don't think that's news we're gonna get later. That's like, huh. Remember when Ralphie tried to sell us that time when he got kicked off the stage in Colorado? What happened, Ralphie? I took some allergy medicine, and I was.

[Listener]

I had reaction.

[John]

And then everybody else said he had, like, a thousand milligrams of Chiba chew weed before he went on stage. It was incoherent. And I asked him. I remember asking him, like, that thing in Colorado. I swear to God, Johnny, it was allergy medicine. It also was high as a kite. I'm like, all right. So it was all the drugs you mixed. Yeah. They kept saying I was drunk. I wasn't drunk. You Know what they meant? How dare they inebriate it? That's crazy. They even. They try to tie me to that, like I'm some sort of alcoholic. I had a thousand milligrams of weed floating through my body and some Benadryl. All right, that's prison stuff. That's the stuff that prisoners get hold of and make. You have meth and weed coursing through your veins too much. I like it high. What are you gonna do? Like, yeah, it affected your job. You didn't. Yelling at tmz. I'm fine. I don't know why they took me off the stage. And then you see him on the stage in the clip, like, all right, we want our money back. There you go. And another thing, by the way, I just got this one. If you don't want to visit Godfather stuff in Italy, this one I don't want to see. But I did look it up, and it's beautiful. The Royal palace of Caserta is where they filmed Star Wars. That was the palace of Naboo. I got excited when I said, oh, that's where they filmed Star Wars.

[Brady]

Nerd.

[John]

But it's the Episode one.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

So it's the Hayden Christensen and. Or it's even worse. It's Jake Lloyd. It was the bad one with the pod races. That's. I might as well visit, you know.

[Brady]

You know, Ronan was filmed there and stuff like that, but come on, that's.

[John]

Like visiting the house from Freddy Got Fingered. I'm not doing that. I'm not. That Star wars sucked.

[Listener]

I went around some of the places where I recognized it. It was Ronin.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[John]

You recognize some Ronin locations. That's impressive.

[Brady]

Yeah, that is impressive.

[John]

Paying too much attention to Ronin, but, man. And I recognize Gladiator.

[Listener]

It was actually reverse order. I was watching Ronin. I'm like, oh, my God. That was part of our trip.

[John]

You were in Italy, came home, watched Ronin, and then Ronin took you back. I see. All right. Took you back to Titanic. I see. We'll get to Bert in just seconds. Bert Chrysler joins us. And by the way, hey, the reason Bert's calling is because he's going to come to town in October. If you love the machine, Bert's coming back. And you can go to Bertbertbert.com. it's October 17th, which sounds like a long time from now, because it is. But these tickets will sell out. He's at Desert diamond arena, where the hockey used to be.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

And that's out in Glendale in October. And you get tickets. Tickets at Ticketmaster. But Bertbertbert.com. he's got his Netflix special that's coming out. But. But last time Bert was here, he sold out the Mullet center five times in like two minutes. So it's no joke. If you want those tickets. I don't know what. I don't know if they're on sale today. We'll talk to Bert and we'll find out. Bert Kreischer joins us in just a little bit. It's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John]

98.

[Brett]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Listener]

No membership fee.

[John]

I've heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Brett]

He's evil sitting right here.

[John]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Before we get to Bert Kreischer, we'll be emailing shortly. His special is out right now. Get ready for that. I got an email from a guy. There's Bert. We'll talk to Bert about this, but I'm worried because Bert Kreischer's hidden. Called us in a while. It's been a minute, right? And he helped us with a MILF contest years ago. He was. God. That was at the old building. Or was that here? No, that was at the old building. Holy smokes. That was 10 years ago. Cow known Bert for a little while. And the good thing. Yeah, Gray Pape was there. I wonder what happened to all those girls that Bert was. We loved so much. But yeah, Grape Ape was there. And there he is. You got him ready? There you go. Bert Chrysler's on the phone. Bird, are you there?

[Brett]

Are we talking about Grape Ape?

[John]

We're talking about Grape Ape again. It's weird that that's our connection. Is that great, Babe? Girl.

[Listener]

Never forget great.

[John]

She was so hot and had that weird, like, oh, my God, the purple and the strange tattoo news. But you'll always be associated with her no matter what you do in your career.

[Brett]

I know. You know, that picture comes anytime I look at Phoenix, Arizona, on my map. Pictures. That picture comes up first. I can text it to you right now.

[John]

Do it. I want. I absolutely want to see. Because I forgot what Grape Ape looked like. But I know we all really liked her. But she didn't win.

[Brett]

Listen, we. Listen, we can't. I know we shouldn't win, but we can't. I. She's got to be like. Like what, 50 now?

[John]

Wasn't great. Bait. Pregnant. Didn't we find out she was.

[Listener]

No, that was that was the other one.

[John]

Yeah, that was another one.

[Listener]

That was another.

[John]

Or was that Lovett's? Lovett's might have hosted that.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

And that one of the girls revealed that she was pregnant right now. Or was that when Tracy Morgan was a judge? He tends to get all of our contestants pregnant. Did you see what happened to Tracy Morgan last night, Bert?

[Brett]

Yeah, that's a little heartbreaking.

[John]

It is. Like, because people are like, oh, he might have eaten something. Something's bad going on. Like, I don. Tracy just had a hot dog and just started. Have you ever yacked and spontaneously vomited and then been wheeled out of the room? Yeah, it doesn't.

[Brett]

No, I've never. Listen, I have a. I have a weird thing with throwing up. I don't throw up in public. The only time. Oh, I take that back. Oh, no, I take that back entirely. I was the grand Marshal of Gasparilla, and I was throwing up off the float. Yeah, I think that.

[John]

But that makes sense, because that's a party. That wasn't, like, a Shriners convention. You're, like, supposed to have fun, and the throwing up meant it was going. Going great, right?

[Brett]

No, I was drunk, and I was just throwing up. All right, here's great vape. I got her. What number do I send it to?

[John]

Send it to Brady. I don't know if you have mine anymore, because I have my phone.

[Brett]

I got Brady's.

[John]

Okay, yeah, send that over. So we're getting in all this stuff. I have to tell you two things. First off, let me say how proud I am of you for two reasons. I sat in this room years ago and told Lisa Lampanelli to never lose weight. She won't be funny. She'll get too emotional. And you managed. There's the picture. Man, oh, man. Great, babe. She had that purple hair.

[Listener]

Forget about that Snapchat.

[John]

You managed to lose weight and stay funny, which is really hard for comedians who have, like, always been a little bit, you know, jolly to get thin and in great shape and still remain hilarious. So that's huge.

[Brett]

I mean, you know, I'm still morbidly obese. Let's be. I've always been. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. You've known me at the size I've been. I've been within 40 pounds of this size. My problem is I got to 285, okay? And at 285, it was, like, unmanageable. Was sad. You'd look at me on stage, you'd be like, this guy's not Gonna be around for long. And so I think I just got back to happy fat.

[John]

Okay, maybe because. Because you didn't get to like, you know where you're gonna quit comedy and start telling people about your journey, which is what I always worry about. When people lose tons of weight, they stop. Like Ralphie. I used to tell Ralphie all the time when he, like, if you ever get down to normal size, nobody's gonna want to lose chicks to you. And that, you know, we like it that you're kind of a mess.

[Brett]

First of all, I'm so glad Ralphie took your advice and died.

[John]

You know what? I'm just gonna check out. Homework's right. Yeah, I think maybe the. Yeah. The idea of Ralphie just croaking before. Before actually getting healthy was because I said so.

[Brett]

No, it's a good. No, it's a good career move.

[John]

It was the smartest thing you could have done.

[Brett]

The best is people go like. Rogan was like. He's like, dude, your shoulders are distracting. And I was like. I was like, let's be honest. You put me up next to any regular fit human being and you will still call me fat. And I was like, but yeah, I tried to lose weight just to get healthy because I was like, I was at 285. I was so disgusted. It's where your belly hangs over your pants. And I was like, I can't.

[Listener]

I don't know what that's like.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

Yeah. It just gets that thing. It's like when. When rock stars get clean and their music isn't as good. And it's like, God, you kind of needed the heroin to be really great. I think funny big people have to remain a little bit big because if you're ever ripped again, it'll be like, I can't have Bert be hilarious and hot.

[Brett]

You don't want you. What you don't want to see. This is what happens to a guy like me if I get ripped. I'm going to have a weird looking head. Head. And that's not funny. You don't want to look like, what are those things that Joe Coy sells? Those Pikachu?

[John]

Yeah. Funkos. Yeah. Funko Pops. Yeah, yeah, Exactly.

[Brett]

Yeah. You don't want me to look like a Funko. No, My, my, my thing is if my cardiologist tells me I'm healthy, that's the good weight for me.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So in this, in the special, I think I'm like 235. 2:40.

[John]

That's good.

[Brett]

Listen. Anyone listening? Well, yeah. How Much do you weigh?

[John]

I'm 218.

[Brett]

Okay, that's. Is that skinny?

[John]

I mean, I could lose probably seven or eight more pounds and be okay, but I'm okay. Right now. I'm feeling pretty good.

[Listener]

I can lose seven or eight.

[John]

Seven or eight pounds and then start over again and do it again tomorrow. And then the next day, maybe three, four times. He tells two friends and they tell two friends and so on. But yeah. Yeah. So I'm in a good spot.

[Brett]

Health.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

My thing is health, and I'm. My. All my biomarkers come in healthy, and I'm too. I'm 245 right now. I was probably 2:35 during the special. Maybe 240. But, like, you know, I'm cool with where I'm at. I still have a belly. I still drink. I still party.

[John]

Fantastic.

[Brett]

I still take my shirt off. You know, I'm. I'm just jacked under this fat.

[John]

Yeah, it's what's underneath that counts. It's what's on the inside that matters. It's not outside. Fat's no big deal. And then you and Tom are doing your run and all that, and you're bringing Jelly Roll, which is weird because people root for Jelly Roll to lose weight, and I didn't with Ralphie, and I think it might be the same.

[Listener]

Is he Ralphie reincarnated?

[John]

Is that really Ralphie?

[Brett]

No, it's not.

[John]

Pretty sure. Ralphie just pulled a Jim Morrison out.

[Listener]

So much alike. I know.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. What if, what if. What if? It was the. It was the ultimate Elvis disappearing accident. Ralphie just came back as a rapper.

[John]

I'll come back into countries Only talk to God when I. That's Ralphie. I watched him the first time talking, and I'm like, I know what's going on around here, but it's good that he loses weight. We want him to be healthy because he was huge.

[Brett]

Well, the truth is. Well, the truth is Jelly, like, Ralphie had a lot of. A lot of addiction problems.

[John]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

A lot of partying problems. And I think all of us at a certain point said to Jelly, we were like, yo, you don't want to go out like Ralphie. Like, there's no. I mean. I mean, there's nothing wrong with just being like £300. There's nothing wrong with being £250. Like, you know, get. Lose the. Lose the weight. Get healthy. And by the way, it's like being healthy feels great. Now, listen, partying feels even better, especially when you do it. In the morning. But like. But like being inspiring someone to get healthy. And that's the reason we did the 5K was like, Tom's lost a lot of weight. He's like 180 pounds now. And. And we were like, yo, we're trying to be healthier. We're not. I'm. I always work out, but I only work out so I can party. So, like, get on that journey and get a little healthier. And these 5Ks have been huge. I mean, we're gonna have, I think, 7,000 people at our 5K in Tampa.

[John]

No kidding. That's ridiculous. Well, that's awesome. And it is. It is a good thing to, like, feel better.

[Brett]

And by the way, it is. It is three miles. It's. Everyone can do this three miles. And then we just throw a huge party on the field at Raymond James Stadium and just blow it out.

[John]

You guys all run to Raymond James and then everybody goes nuts. And Jelly Roll is going to perform.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm sure Jelly will perform. We'll do Stand up will roast some people.

[John]

Oh, my God, that's amazing. And anybody can go. It's on May 4th. You can still, like, get in, right?

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. In Tampa. Yeah, it's. It's going to be on the field. We're doing the races around Raymond James Stadium. And then you finish on the field, and then we'll have a stage. We have, like, cold plunges, saunas. We have IVs. We have everything set up for anyone that needs to recover to party that day. And then we party until like 7:00 at night, and then a concert starts outside.

[John]

That's awesome. Okay, so that's great. You got your special coming out today, right?

[Brett]

I'm screaming right now on Netflix.

[John]

Yeah, it's called Lucky. Yeah. It started a minute, but it ends. It's two hours. You have to. It's not a never ending special, but, yeah, you could. They. It went out. Came out last night. So you got that today. You're coming to town in October and you're doing the former hockey arena. It's huge, man. That's a gigantic place. That's Desert Diamond.

[Brett]

What? Desert Diamond? Yeah. I'm doing the Permission to Party world tour. It's so funny. I named it Permission to Party. And as I announced it, we got calls from abroad. They were like, yo, do you want to do some abroad stuff? I was like, absolutely. And they're like, how about Dubai? I was like, I don't know if I was like, I don't. Can you party There. And they're like, no, absolutely not. I was like, well, the tour's called permission to party. And you're saying, I do not have permission to party? And they're like, no, you can't party, and you got to wear a shirt. I was like, wait, so why am I going there?

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Just to hit women. Like, what. What is the.

[John]

Yes. I mean, that's the cell. That is the cell right there.

[Listener]

It's. I mean, that's the roasting.

[Brett]

I mean, I could get it all out, go over there, punch a couple.

[Listener]

Bras, come back, line them up like Jeff Ross, and it's. It's the roasting. But it's.

[John]

It's. It's the watch your mouth tour. Yeah, the men are talking the better talking world tour.

[Brett]

I was like. And then they're like. And you can't really talk positively about Jewish people. I go, okay, so I slammed the Jews. Hit a chick. What else is. What other things can I not do here that I get to do on vacation?

[John]

It's like, Kanye's going over there. It sounds great. Yeah. And you gotta do it completely sober.

[Brett]

Do you know how fun it would be to just get on stage and just rail against the Jewish people for an hour? And for my closer, I'm bringing up my wife.

[John]

It's like a Gallagher show. At the end, you just slug women.

[Listener]

There she is.

[John]

Slug him into the front row. You bring out the sledge o matic and then just hit women with it.

[Brett]

Oh, dude.

[John]

Dubai comedy. I love that.

[Brett]

I may have to do this. Anyway. I was like. They're like. I was like, well, can I wear. Instead of, like, I don't want to wear just a shirt. Can I just wear, like, your shirts that go to your ankles? Ankles. And they're like. That's not what they're called.

[John]

Those gowns.

[Listener]

Yeah, you're really long shirts.

[John]

One of your sleeping shoes. That's hilarious. I do one of your.

[Brett]

One of your. You have a screwed shirt I can wear.

[John]

Oh, my God. Bert Kreischer is on with us this morning. Burtbertbert.com if you want to grab tickets to a show in October. It sounds like we're selling October. Your shows sell out quick, so they do this early. And then, of course, if you wanted to travel over there on May 4th and be part of that 5k, that's pretty awesome, too. Specials on Netflix. I do have a bone to pick with you because you and Tom Segura beat me to the punch on something I've been trying to organize for about four years. But you one up me because your celebrity status is so much better. I have been on a tiptoes the movie like Crusade for the longest time and I tried to get Brad Williams and we were going to do the this and David Alan Greer, who are both in this terrible movie to come do a viewing at the club. And we were going to watch it in front of a crowd and have Brad talk about how horrendously offensive it is to little people. And David Alan Greer explain himself for why he took the role in the first place. And then you have, like, you and Tom get Matthew McConaughey on and start watching the movie with him. Like, well, this is nothing. This is so much better than what I was going to do. It's ridiculous. But you've watched Tips Toes.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. It is aggressive.

[John]

Yes. I have a serious worst.

[Brett]

The worst is. The worst is the. I don't know what. How they shoot Gary Oldman, but it's like, it's like, you know, you ever see those videos where. Where you see a truck and then you see fingers smashing the truck and then they pick up a baby truck and you're like, oh, that was a baby truck the whole time.

[Listener]

Right.

[John]

It's a mom.

[Brett]

How they shoot Gary Oldman?

[John]

Yeah. He had a backpack that they put under his shirt to pull his shoulders back. And he walked around on his knees.

[Listener]

And it shifted.

[John]

Yeah, and it moved around. I have a theory, though, about this movie and that's why I wanted. They got David Alan Greer to be in it. Right. And I think they were like, we've got David Allen Greer. And then one of the people on a phone on a bad connection said, all right, see if you can get Gary Coleman. And they accidentally called Gary Oldman and he said he'd do it. And like, we actually. Yeah, so that the whole idea. I think it was supposed to be.

[Brett]

No, I'll tell you right now.

[John]

The whole.

[Brett]

That was the era of. Of like, radio and like, when you could play, like, a person with down syndrome and get an Oscar.

[John]

Yeah. So you had to have. Yeah, yeah, it's great.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. Did you see what my. My sister rides the bus.

[John]

No.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Type in Rosie the in Google on YouTube and it's Rosie O'Donnell playing a person with down syndrome.

[John]

I do remember this.

[Brett]

Oh, my God, it is so bad. It is almost. It's. It's more offensive than anything anyone's ever said on stage about anyone with any mental disability watching someone play one. You know, there's a lift. They should. There should be a compilation of everyone that did that. Radio is the worst. Radio is terrible.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

Cuba Gooding kind of lost everything after radio because.

[Brett]

And they're just. And they're just playing on the fact that people with down syndrome are stronger than everyone else.

[John]

It's true, though. I mean, it's. Nobody likes to say it, but that's stronger. Yeah. We had a nurse tell us once. They all have huge weights.

[Brett]

Hang on. I watched the down syndrome weightlifting competition. They're just the same name. Come on. I've been really into. I've been really into. I've been really into powerlifting lately. I watch. Let me tell you something. D. Scrutin is. Is ridiculously strong. And they have down syndrome. Powerlifting. And they're just the regular strong.

[John]

You're comparing them to power lifters, though. They don't work out like power lifters.

[Brett]

No. But other power lifters, they're not like. That was always the myth. Is. There was.

[Listener]

Yeah, it's a myth.

[John]

That's not a myth, buster. I totally disagree. They're not in the gym all the time. They have natural strength. They go out there like an orangutan and just throw the weight up. A power lifter like Deuce. Yes. That's a fact. And I don't know if that's. I don't know if that's offensive or not, Bert, but I'm right. That's science. And then power lifters like Deuce have to work to get to the strength. These guys just show up and he's taking supplements. Yeah. They are made of supplements. They're natural. I mean, counter argument.

[Brett]

I watch. You'd be shocked. What videos are in my. In my algorithm. They. They work. They go to the. I say they, like, they're. This is the worst conversation.

[Listener]

Keep going.

[John]

They gaggle up. It's a murder of people. And they wander over to the gym and start powerlifting. I think they'd be good at it. Day one.

[Listener]

I'm wondering how huge. If you could just. If they got on a steroids. Yeah.

[John]

He'd blow one up.

[Brett]

Google it. I'm telling you right now.

[John]

All right.

[Brett]

Same strength.

[John]

I gotta. I'm gonna argue. I don't think the training's the same, but I will Google it. I'll do my research, because it sounds like a fun day. Anyway, another thing. I got this email, and I like this stuff. I had a guy email last week and said that he hated me because sometimes I talk bad about politics that he, like, he didn't like, I made fun of the president. President. And he didn't like that. And then. And then the second thing he thought about me was, I might be a pedophile. Which I think is the headline. I think if you're going to be mad at anybody, it's less political and more like, I think you might also be a pedophile. But this guy just emailed in and when I said Bert Kreischer was going to be on, and he goes, there's not many times I check out of the show, but as soon as he calls in, I'm done with that guy. I know you don't plan on making people laugh. I'll check in later. His name is Empson. So I emailed back and I said, said, you know, what are you talking about? Bert's hilarious. He hasn't been on the show for years. And he goes, don't be nice. He's going to be mean to you. And I haven't felt that.

[Brett]

Never.

[John]

Yeah. Don't you love when people just have. They have a rational email? Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm like, who could he possibly be angry at that thinks Bert's gonna call in and just be, like, cruel and come after us? It's never happened.

[Brett]

We've never had anything but a blast when we hang out.

[John]

Yeah. I don't understand it. And it's been so long that he's harbored this so much that when I said, hey, Bert Kreischer's gonna join us this morning at 7, he emailed me to tell me, well, you're doing it without me instead of just not listening. I don't understand people.

[Brett]

So right now he's stand. He's sitting in his car in silence, just looking at his watch, going, 15 minutes. 15 minutes. I can Pluto back in.

[John]

I'll go back.

[Brett]

Okay, so listen, at 7:17, when you guys come back from break, be like you both you guys be crying and be like. So he said about me, why does.

[John]

He hate the Jews so much? He's changed.

[Brett]

You can't, man. You know, you can't. You can't listen to anyone. Like, it's so. It's everyone's opinions because I've done. I've done stuff like that where I'm like, yeah, I'm not a fan. And then all of a sudden, you run into him on a plane and you're like, oh, my God, I'm the biggest fan in the world.

[John]

Who'd you get caught by? Dax Shepard immediately had an Answer. So he used to say, dax Shepard was nothing.

[Brett]

He caught. He called me out like his. Because I said something. I said something on a podcast. We've. I've talked about this on his podcast and on my pod and my podcast with him, but he got into podcasting, and me and Tom have been doing it for, like, seven years or whatever. At the time. He got into podcast and immediately had the number one podcast podcast. And I just was like, I don't know. We were doing a podcast, and I just lit him up, and I was like, you know, f dak Shepard this and that. Just like. Like, just talking, Just talking wild, thinking he'd never hear it, right? He definitely heard it. And then. And then I got a. I got a text, and it was like, hey, Dax Shepard wants to be on your podcast. And I was like, okay, absolutely. Because on the podcast, he goes, why did you talk trash about me? I was like, you heard that?

[John]

Did you have to apolog?

[Brett]

I'm such a fan.

[John]

You lied to him.

[Brett]

But the thing is, you don't think the people are gonna hear it.

[John]

Yeah, for sure.

[Brett]

Like, you say stuff. Like, you say stuff, and you don't think they're gonna hear it. And then they. And then sometimes you forget you said it.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And then you're sitting at an MMA fight and some fighter comes up and he's like, I heard you say you could kick my ass. And I was like, I did. He was like, yeah. You said if you. Me and you both had six beers, that you think you had a chance of beating me up. And I was like, I don't remember saying that. I must have been drunk. He's like, well, I'm five beers in. I got one more beer. Let's see what happens. And you're like, okay, I need to leave right now, Dana. How do I get out of this place?

[John]

Maybe that's what happened to Tracy Morgan last night. He just faked throw up and got out of the arena. That's what I do. CB Dalloway did that to me once. I used to train at a gym with Ryan Bader, and CB Dalloway was an MMA fighter, and I made fun of him for being, like, a little bit unstable. Like, it always felt like a trip to Mexico as a human being, like, you're fun, but something bad's gonna happen. And I said it on the air. And then I went in, and he looked at me. He goes, hey, bro, you got a big mouth. I'm like, what? And he said, I heard what you were saying. We can take it in the ring. And I'm like, I think it's illegal for you to. I'm going home. And I was, like, immediately scared to death. And then I realized what you're saying.

[Brett]

It's our job. It's our job. Job to talk trash? Yeah, it's our job. I talk trash about. I used to say this about fighting. I was like. Because I always thought, and I. And I learned the hard way that, like, not all fighters have a sense of humor.

[John]

No.

[Brett]

Like, not all fighters are like, it's a podcast. He's just talking wild. He's. I'm sure he's a fan. Some of them are like, okay, let's see what you can do. And you're like, oh, man, I'm just messing around. Like, I'm just. And then I realized, don't say anything. Don't say anything bad about anyone and just. And keep your mouth shut. Keep. Your silence is so valuable. Your silence is so valuable.

[John]

Yeah, just be nice to all MMA fighters there. They got screws loose anyway, and if you start bashing them, they will want to fight. Just regular people. It's like, when you make fun of a girl athlete, they want to strike you out and stuff.

[Brett]

Give. Give that guy's. Get. Send that guy email, and then give him two tickets to my show in. In Arizona and be like, hey, man. And Burt's really sorry. Whatever he did, he wants to make it up to you. Here's two tickets.

[John]

Backstage, barbecue, all that.

[Brett]

And then give him the fake one. So he gets dressed up, he gets a date, and he gets all the way to the venue, and they're like, yeah, I'm sorry, these aren't real tickets. And he's like, bird's still mean.

[John]

And you'll just hear it outside the arena from your dressing room. Crystal, I want this. All right. We're gonna make it happen. It'll happen. You've got your special out tonight. It's out for everybody on Netflix. It's called Lucky. You can pick that up at Netflix if you've got it. And watch Bert Kreischer. It'll make you laugh the whole time. Plus, Bertbertbert.com is where you get tickets to Desert diamond arena and Glendale and all the other stuff you offer. And it's B, E, R, T, right? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I'm looking at the. I was looking at the wrong thing. Bert, Bert, Bert. So there you go. What else do you have to tell us before you go? Because you're gonna get. You gotta Go now.

[Brett]

I got sexy. I'll send you a picture of me and my new underwear. Brady and I think you'll want to get a pair.

[John]

All right, we'll let it tease us. Bert, always a pleasure, man. Thanks for joining us.

[Brett]

Hey, I love you guys to death. I've always had a great time with you guys.

[John]

Thank you, man. We appreciate you so much. See you later, Bert. Have a great day, man. Bert Kreischer, everybody. How about that on our break? Nice job. We'll get that together. Glorious. And we'll say he was brought to you by Action Ride Shop.

[Dick Toledo]

And I didn't want to bring it up, but. But his big concert Their. Their 5K. The two bears and jelly roll. 5K. Okay. It's country Thunder in Tampa that weekend.

[John]

Oh, it is.

[Dick Toledo]

So that Sunday night is the closer of Country Thunder. And they're part of it.

[John]

Oh, no kidding. Yeah. So he does know about retard powerlifting because it's Country Thunder.

[Listener]

Brooks.

[John]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Listener]

Get in trouble.

[John]

Well, there you go. Jelly Roll is Garth Brooks. What? I would like to see that, too. Anyway, if you want to go there and to the guy who hated him. I don't know why Burke was someone you don't like, but has he ever been mean ever? Well, no, he's just like. He's like you. You're just being nice. We both know it's not funny. As soon as he calls, I'm checking out. I'll wait 20 minutes and come back. Man. Like, he hasn't been on the show enough to anger. We've had Bird on like maybe eight or nine times in the whole time. We've.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, it was compressed over the course of a couple years. He was on a lot.

[John]

Yeah, he was here a few times, but. Okay. I mean, teach their own. You don't like Brick Thresher, that's fine. I always. I always marvel at the idea that you have to tell me. Not listening. Like, okay.

[Dick Toledo]

He and Donnell would change their schedule to do the MILF contest.

[John]

I know they wanted to be part of that. Gosh, you know, I've talked about bringing it back, but all of the girls that, like, he said, like, they'd all be like 50 now.

[Dick Toledo]

Can we do it at an outside venue?

[John]

So we have gotten to the point in the age of this show that we could actually have the MILF's kids be the MILF. Nice. We had. We did, remember? Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

We could have a guilt contest with.

[John]

No, we can't.

[Dick Toledo]

Former winners.

[John]

You do that at home. I'M out. No, I think we've. No, sir.

[Dick Toledo]

Four grandmothers that are fantastic.

[John]

Yeah. By the way, go yourself. It's 7:23. Action Ride Shop helped us out this morning with a Wake up song, but that got interrupted for Bert Kreischer, so. And. And Josh is so nice. I forgot my bike. He was gonna pick it up today. Yeah, I forgot to put it on the back of my Jeep, idiot. And he's like, well, just give me your garage code. And I'm like, okay.

[Brady]

Of all people, you can definitely trust.

[John]

I can trust him. But it's like, well, I don't want him to get shot by my gay neighbors with some sort of flaming bow and arrow when they see Josh go into my garage.

[Dick Toledo]

You've got your security camera?

[John]

Yeah, I got the cameras.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, what a viral video Video.

[John]

If he gets killed. Yeah, I don't want that. So I'm just gonna leave the flaming.

[Brady]

Arrows flying across the yard.

[John]

Hey, hey. That's what the arrows soar through the air going, anyway, thanks to Burt Kreischer. That's fun. October. It sounds like a crazy thing to say in March, but October is. He'll be here. Be here before you know it. Those tickets, I just looked. They're available. They're going quick, so grab them. That's. That's enough for that. At 7:24. What do you have the Wake up song. Let me get that together right now.

[Brady]

Tons of Is brought to you by Action Ride Shop.

[John]

Action. Right, Shop.

[Brady]

And Josh will come to your house and pick up your bike too.

[John]

I don't know. Will he do that? I don't know. He did it because I'm an idiot. I meant to bring it last week, and then he said, hey, I'm in your area. And just because I know him, it wasn't like a service he provides, but it was a nice thing to do. And then I'm stupid enough to, like, put the bike rack on my Jeep and I forget to put the bike on it.

[Brady]

All right. On the list we got a vent, Sevenfold Soil Shine Down, Disturbed Seven, Dust Ministry, Dope, Electric Callboy, Pump it for Bertrand's Birthday.

[John]

Is it Jerry Cantrell's 59?

[Brady]

Well, we could do Alice in Chains if you want.

[John]

Let's do that. What song? First thing came to mind was Damn that River. I don't know why. What else?

[Brady]

Again.

[John]

Again. Again's great. Damn it. So many. I don't know.

[Brady]

Put in a couple Toledo, we'll flip a coin.

[John]

We'll wander around the Jerry Cantrell world. He was just here, wasn't he? He just did.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John]

With Filter at the Nile in Mesa.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Which I wasn't. I don't know why I didn't go. I think I had something going on that night, but I wanted to go. I just didn't want to drive all the way over there just in case. And plus, I think he was doing all of his new stuff. I don't know what it was.

[Brady]

Well, then he was here with Bush and candle box, too. Before that. All right, well, we had the Elaine look alike on stage.

[John]

Yeah. A girl, that same lawyer girl that was with her farting husband last night was talking to me, and she said that she was going to go see Beyonce. Beyonce is her, like, her spirit animal. Like, she loves Beyonce. And I said, beyonce's pants are too big. That's the one thing I don't like about Beyonce. She wears those granny panties. I don't find her. Like, she's very sexy, but she wears granny pants. So does Taylor Swift. And then she said. Asked me last night. She goes, who's yours? Musically? Who's your. Like, my Beyonce is the. The greatest thing. And so who's yours? And I'm like, geez, I'd have to think about that fart voice. Yeah, fart voice. Answer my question. And I had to tell her. I said, you know what? The first thing that kept popping in my mind was the guys in Alice in Chains, which was Jerry and Lane, like, and Chris Cornell. Those were the three kind of in my wheelhouse moments of this was the. The probably biggest influence musically on me. And I took somebody asking me yesterday to kind of realize, that's the one. I lean on them. I love him. I knew that. But those are the three that came to mind immediately. So. Happy birthday to Jerry Cantrell. Maybe it was just in the air. We'll do a double up on him. It's Allison chains again. It's 98k upd.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird.

[Brett]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan. Him.

[Brett]

He's evil sitting right here.

[John]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. It is kind of cool. Got a lot of emails from people talking about Bert Kreischer calling in still and still. Be like, he's. He's in that level I always talk about. It's like, oh, we'll never hear from him again. And he's playing arenas like we had Brad Williams a couple weeks ago. And I'm very proud of those comedians that we've known for years. And then they go on to great giant things and we'll never see them again. Joe Rogan was in here a lot. We'll never see Joe Rogan again.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

Why Joe Coy was mentioned here. I think we're close. Joe. Joe's. I think Joe might come back here in the next year or two. If we're still. Well, we should still be here. And we're starting to get to the point. If we're still alive. Used to be. If we're still here now, if we live for another couple years, I think we'll see Coy come back.

[Brady]

Well, Mencia came back.

[John]

Mensia had to. That wasn't. I know. That's what I'm saying.

[Dick Toledo]

Fall back.

[John]

You're 100%.

[Brady]

But he did have to come back.

[John]

Because at first Carlos would come in and then he went through the moon. And then something horrible happened to Carlos and now he's back. Yeah, they all. Eventually. We're. We're a first and last stop in your career. It's not good either way. Things aren't going great if you're here. You're either just starting or things aren't going well. But Bert still calls in and does that and he doesn't have to. So it was really cool to have Bert on this one. I think that's great. And he's just one of those guys. He's just always going to be Bert Kreischer. I don't think he has the got.

[Dick Toledo]

Grape Ape photos at the ready ready to go.

[John]

Like he's got him. And those pictures of those. The MILF contest he helped us with all those years ago. First thing. And she looked amazing. I forgot how pretty Grape Ape was. And he's right. She's probably nearing 50. What do you suppose she was 30 in that picture? I remember right.

[Dick Toledo]

I think she was 27.

[John]

Was she? Geez. Good job, Toledo. And that had to be 12, 13 years ago. So she's probably almost 40.

[Dick Toledo]

And Brett, what does that make her?

[John]

Yeah, we all turn the inspired. Unfortunately. Brett's not wrong.

[Brady]

It's like milk.

[John]

Well, she had a kid anyway. That's why she was td. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report is brought to you by all Pro Shade Concepts. These are Arizona's best patio shades. We all know what the sun is, right? It's that big ball of fire. We see it a lot. It's here. It's always here. We hardly ever see a day without. Oh. But it's going to get real tight. A few days. You can touch it. We're closing it on the days where you're going to be looking for shade and these guys help you out. They'll give you roll down patio shades. Brady's house got one of those. The awnings and all that stuff. And it adds a ton of shaded square footage to your outdoor space. And that makes a huge difference. Drops temperature. Unbelievable. Do you have the misters on yours as well? I don't. You can do that too.

[Listener]

You can.

[John]

Yeah. It's a game changer. These guys can get your outdoor everything going. And if you have one of those TVs on your patio but you don't have shade. Yeah. You might as well just have a mistake mirror. It's terrible. So these, they do that too. So it's just an awesome way to get your outdoor space rolling. All you have to do to go get it started. Get your shade installed before the summer hits. All Pro shade dot com. That's where you go. Thank you for sponsoring a neighbor that.

[Dick Toledo]

Put up a TV like you're saying.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And he didn't realize it. The reflection off the sun burned a hole in his lawn.

[John]

No kidding. Wow. The TV screen. Yeah, that's what he told you. But he's cooking. But it was. He cooked a hole.

[Dick Toledo]

It was like a perfect square.

[John]

Neil DeGrasse Tyson's house or something. That's a science experiment. There's no way my tv plastic screen on it burned a hole in the. Anyway, quit asking questions. All pro shades.com can fix that. If you've got meth holes in your backyard, they can shade them. If you're building your meth empire back there, Walter White. Why sunburn? Get it? Get a nice shady structure. Brady reported.

[Listener]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world. Happy Awkward Moments day.

[John]

Oh, sorry.

[Listener]

And National Sloppy Joe Day.

[John]

The awkward moment. Last night as Joe lman and I were in the raha room talking and the staff kind of hangs around right where we were. And one of the girls came over and said something and I think Joe answered her. And her next. It was the most awkward thing I've ever heard. Her next sentence, she sang. She said something like, oh, I'm so hungover. Over. And we heard it and I think Joe said something to her. Then she goes, so hungover from yesterday. I'm like, what are you doing? Well, don't do that. She goes, I don't know why I did that. Like nobody knows this. Just turn around. It's just got really weird.

[Listener]

Got a couple of basis fun facts. The band Train has more monthly listeners on Spotify than Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Van halen, Tom Petty, YouTube, REM, Pearl, Jim and Elvis.

[John]

Say that again.

[Listener]

Train has more monthly listener.

[John]

Train.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

Drops of Jupiter. Yes.

[Listener]

On Spotify than those bands that I just combined. No.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John]

I was gonna say.

[Listener]

I thought you said each band individual.

[John]

When you hit me with two, I'm like, oh my God.

[Listener]

Well, I find it.

[John]

I find it amazing. The Drops of Jupiter is that popular anyway. Is there a girl song they have that I don't know of? About what else does Train have?

[Brady]

That marry you song that gets played at every wedding.

[John]

That's it. The one that no man listens to. It's the Taylor Swift of music. Yes, I see. Well that makes sense now. Cuz. Desperate ringless.

[Listener]

Just pound Matt over and over.

[John]

We'll just put it on a loop. That and that Bruno Mars marry me thing. What's the. Oh, do you have Riding Toledo? Oh, Toledo's thing. You have it?

[Dick Toledo]

I'm sorry, Riding the bus with.

[John]

Oh no, we had that.

[Dick Toledo]

Bert brought us.

[John]

Yeah. Rosie O'Donnell is a. Mentally.

[Listener]

People were asking about Andy McDowell and.

[John]

Yes, Brady did say Sam. I am. That's Dr. Seuss. I am Sam, the movie he was thinking of. He was hungry for ham so he said the wrong thing. He was thinking about green eggs and ham and it's breakfast. So he didn't think of Sean Penn.

[Brady]

Oh yeah. Hey, soul sister. Drops of juice.

[John]

Hey, soul sister. Yeah, but still more than Pearl Jam. And who else have you this?

[Listener]

Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Van Halen.

[John]

That's ridiculous. Then again, you think about it. Those are the. Nobody's Spotifying that like they're a little more like 25 year old girl 10 years ago when Spotify first got going.

[Listener]

That's true.

[John]

So it makes sense that they would have that in the loop for 10 years. So it's been going for.

[Brady]

And here's that.

[John]

This is a pretty good song. How many.

[Dick Toledo]

How many listens does that have? Are you on the Spotify or whatever?

[Brady]

Yeah, let's see here.

[John]

This is the Marry me song.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

And you play this at weddings that you dj?

[Brady]

Unfortunately, I try to talk him out.

[Listener]

So many tears.

[John]

What do you try to talk him into?

[Brady]

Anything but this.

[John]

This slash your wrist.

[Brady]

Why would you want to marry anybody who wants to listen to this crap?

[John]

Fred is also A marriage counselor? Absolutely. He'll DJ and life coach you right through your first few days of nuptial bliss.

[Brady]

Well, here's the. Here's the train numbers on Spotify.

[John]

It's ridiculous. Just from what Brady said, I'm blown away.

[Brady]

This one's got 290 million. 91 million.

[John]

That one's got a billion list.

[Brady]

Hey, soul sister and drops of Jupiter are over a billion.

[John]

Is that 1.7 billion listens to hey, soul sister? Yeah, I don't understand this at all.

[Brady]

I don't know. Drive by now that's got 857 million.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I remember this. On the other side of the street.

[John]

Train is a lot better than I thought. No kidding. That's a bet I'd have lost. There used to be that old stat.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, I remember. But I didn't think it was that.

[John]

Big, the old one. That was like, bands whose second albums. I forget what it was. They sold a. A bajillion copies in their first album, and then their second one actually outsold it. There's only five, and one of them was Def Leppard. And it was always like, the Eagles, you know, the ACDC had all the stuff that kind of had this sophomore album, and their second album just exploded on their. And. Yeah, and they had to hit, like, platinum stats. I forget what the stat was, but Def Leppard was in it. And they didn't belong. Like, they're good, but it was like, no way.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, because that Def Leppard the first albums had on through the Night that had nothing, and then High and.

[John]

Dry was after that, just a massive. Yeah. Follow up.

[Listener]

On average, giraffes sleep for less than two hours a day. On the flip side, python sleep for at least 18 hours.

[John]

So they're making up for it.

[Listener]

Carrots are actually bad for rabbits and can cause health problems. But because of Bugs Bunny, pretty much everyone thinks rabbits love carrots.

[John]

You tell a Brady, carrots are terrible. That's poison. You don't give it to a rabbit or a person. It shouldn't even be food. Carrots.

[Listener]

What were you thinking?

[John]

It's in the ground. What else do you pick up off the ground and eat your pig?

[Dick Toledo]

Potatoes.

[Listener]

Potatoes.

[John]

Disgusting. If it's on the ground, it belongs on the ground. It's like chewed gum.

[Dick Toledo]

Beets.

[John]

Beets aren't food. That's for throwing pizza headphones. Dr. Dre. Dr. Dumbass, tell me one thing you found on the floor that you said. Mm. I'm gonna eat that cheesecake. Okay, maybe a cheesecake if they came from the floor, but they don't till later. They come from heaven. I believe it. Till later's an asshole.

[Listener]

This year's St. Patrick's Day parade on.

[John]

The floor like a David Hasselhoff dessert. He's losing weight.

[Listener]

This year, St. Patrick's Day parade in South Boston only had 11 arrests, which isn't bad for. You know. They're saying a million people attend this parade. It started an hour half early than it usually did. Started 11.

[Dick Toledo]

They didn't have time to pregame.

[Listener]

Well, they did confiscate slews of Borgs.

[John]

What?

[Listener]

Those are the blackout drunk gallons. They put, basically alcohol in a plastic gallon jug, and they bring them on the parade route, and you're not supposed to have them.

[Dick Toledo]

And they call them Borgs.

[Listener]

They call them boards.

[Brady]

Heard of that?

[John]

No, never heard of it either. Mick thing.

[Listener]

It's gotta be from Boston. It took my Borg.

[John]

Yeah. Draw me. Look at the Borgs milk jug.

[Dick Toledo]

You got to be mispronouncing that. That's got to be pronounced.

[John]

I don't know how else you pronounce a bushel of Borgs. Can't have these Borgs here, boys.

[Listener]

This Peruvian fisher fisherman was found alive after drifting at Sea for 94 days. Maximo Napa is his name. 61 years old. Was rescued in a small fishing boat on Tuesday after being spotted by an Ecuadorian vessel off the coast of chimbote, northern Peru. 94 days. He said he survived on eating cockroaches, birds, and turtles. And he kept thinking about his grandchild. And that's what he's trying to eat.

[John]

That, too.

[Listener]

Stay alive.

[John]

He says that, and people think it was a beautiful thing. But what he was thinking about is a meaty grandchild. Oh, God, I could eat him for days.

[Listener]

He went out in his small boat. Weather. Weather turned. Like Gilligan's Island.

[John]

That's all right, Brady. The next sign is you throw up and your nose starts bleeding, you'll be all right.

[Listener]

I'll clear out, get the wheel.

[John]

Said we got to get him off the court. Thanks, Tracy.

[Listener]

We got a Uber driver in South Windsor, Connecticut. After picked up a client, took him home and said, could I use your bathroom? Your house?

[John]

The Uber guy did the Uber? The answer is no.

[Listener]

Well, they said yes. And then he came out, opened the door, there he is whacking.

[John]

Hey.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey.

[Listener]

He exposed himself.

[John]

I'd rather have the Uber driver try and kill me than have him just start beating off in the hallway.

[Listener]

Here's Ramesh Chand.

[Brady]

Who?

[John]

Hold on. They Opened the door on him. Or he must have been in there.

[Listener]

He opened the door.

[John]

Oh, he opened it and he's whacking off.

[Listener]

Yeah, he was exposing himself. Thought maybe this, this could be in play. I'm feeling good here.

[John]

Yeah, I think I've got a vibe with this girl.

[Listener]

Then make my move.

[John]

She didn't yell at me once in the car ride. She let me in the house. I mean, that's as good as asking me to take my dick out.

[Listener]

We got a 34 year old Florida man, Clearwater, Florida, named Aaron Jablowski. He was.

[Dick Toledo]

Would you blow me?

[John]

No, sorry.

[Listener]

It's Jablonski. He plays to call. He's upset at the overTime. Sports Bar, 2:30am because the karaoke machine wasn't working.

[John]

He wants to sing more train songs.

[Listener]

He stormed out. Actually, it was wanted to sing Linger, the Cranberries, Patty's Day. Close her down, maybe.

[John]

You know what's fun to do?

[Listener]

Whipped out a gun.

[John]

Change the word Linger to ginger because it's just one letter difference. Or dinger. You have to let it dinger. It's just. It's for the Colorado Rocky fan and all of it. You have to have to let it dinger.

[Brady]

Oh, that's a concert I'd go to.

[John]

I would too. She started this thing. We changed the words to all of our songs to celebrate the mascot of the Colorado Rockies.

[Listener]

He stormed out, and that's when another karaoke fan tried to get him to cool down. Aaron was not in the mood. He pulled a gun. Gun out of his waistband. They pointed at the other man, shouted, I don't effing care. Someone called the cops. And when they showed up, Aaron still had the gun. Witness say they saw him waving it around. He fired off around.

[John]

God damn it. I'm singing Linger whether they play it or not.

[Brett]

Play it. Give me the karaoke.

[Dick Toledo]

Mother didn't take a bullet.

[Listener]

No one. No one got hit.

[John]

You gotta go home. I'm singing Linger. No, you're not. Turn on the machine if I'm not. Fine. Forget it. Listen, I'm doing it. If you could return. You guys. Don't let it burn. Don't let it fade. All right, just let him finish.

[Listener]

He was arrested on two felonies. Aggravated assault, possession of a firearm by a felon. Rap shooting. He also got a dui. Disorderly conduct.

[John]

Huh. Did get this thing Linger at all? In the car on the drive to the maybe.

[Dick Toledo]

Man, he missed jail a lot.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The cops are like, oh, Christ, just drop him off.

[John]

Just, you know, let Him.

[Brett]

Go.

[John]

How long's your ride to the police station, Mother? There's about eight minutes. Perfect. That's two Lingers. We're doing it. Stop singing Linger. Hey, Siri, play Cranberries. Don't do that. My phone's Cranberries.

[Dick Toledo]

I found info on the Borg. It's called Blackout Rage Gallon. Yeah, it holds 700 like you.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. You don't acknowledge. Oh, yeah, that makes tons of sense to a guy like me. You have to acknowledge that like it was yours.

[Listener]

That's what I said though.

[John]

No. God. You know what? Screw you guys. I'm tired of you idiots. The man at 2:30 in the morning should be allowed to sing a cranberry song anytime you want, Mother. I spent a lot of money in here. Shut up and listen. I'm going to hit the high notes. I'm doing it too. It's a long intro. I forgot how long the intro was. Maybe you guys are right.

[Brady]

Let's get B. Yeah.

[John]

Damn. There we go. Hit it, Dolores. It's a beautiful song when it's dedicated to my beautiful wife who I haven't talked to in three years. But she'll be back.

[Dick Toledo]

Just like kids.

[John]

All right, Please step off the stage. No goddamn way. If you. If you turn don't let it burn Put your gun down don't let it fade I'll kill you, mother Use but it's just too late. By the way, when you look like me and you go to a karaoke bar and you do that, it stops the room.

[Dick Toledo]

Wait a minute.

[John]

You've done. Yeah. I love, love those types of car. Because people see it. You'll hear the audible groan at the grapevine. We got John coming up here and then on the screen it says Cranberries Linger or Alanis Morissette. One of her slow songs like. Thank you. And I always. I always grab things. Hey, folks, thanks. I hope you're having a great night tonight. Today. Everybody's having a good time. I'm such a fool. For years, like, that big bald cancer guy is gay gender fluid. Oh my God.

[Brady]

You guys can do that. At night of singing Dead, we did.

[John]

Oh yeah, we talked about that.

[Brady]

Dead.

[John]

I think we did Linger. Well, we did the. The rock version. That was the year that my in ear blew up and my ear started bleeding. It was the worst start to a show ever. Oh, so that was so painful. I had to get through Alice in Chains and Linger and Lincoln park with my ear bleeding. I thought I blew up my eardrum and it was bleeding. Bleeding internally. I could Taste it.

[Brady]

Did it just linger in there?

[John]

It had to. And I had to let it. This is a mandatory thing. That girl that started singing lines to us last night should have done this.

[Brady]

Your voice smells like farts.

[John]

Your voice just smells like farts. My husband Scott, has a problem. He says it's medical. His ass lets out all of the gas. Comes right out his ass. It's a good song. You can't help it. Once it's in your head, you'll sing Zombies. Better, but yeah.

[Listener]

In Washington, D.C. this postal worker was found guilty last week of stealing more than 1.6 million worth of US treasury and private party checks, taking him right out of the mail. He spent it on lavish vacations, strip clubs. He went on from almost a year and a half bilking this money out of the mail. His name was Hachikoso. Much?

[Brady]

I'm sure that's close.

[John]

Did we play it, man? Do you have a picture? I don't Google it.

[Listener]

I assume much.

[John]

I don't know. I know he's not white.

[Brady]

I'm gonna go Filipino.

[John]

Oh, good guess. Where did it happen? Washington, D.C. man, I'm going black.

[Brady]

Could be African.

[John]

That's what I. Yeah, I think it'd be African, but I like your.

[Listener]

I'm with that.

[John]

You think so?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Cosimba is his last name.

[Listener]

Muchimba?

[John]

I don't know. Brett's got that whole Filipino thing. That's a good guess, man. I'm gonna go straight African, no black.

[Brady]

All right.

[John]

Like Washington. Really? American.

[Dick Toledo]

I've got pictures.

[John]

All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Everybody's guessing in.

[Brady]

Sure.

[John]

Yeah. What do you say? You're saying. You're saying Africa.

[Brady]

This one's a tough one.

[John]

I'm saying American, Black.

[Listener]

Okay.

[John]

You're saying Filipino?

[Brady]

I think so.

[John]

I think is a strong African. Well, you've seen it. Well, I said that before. That's why I pulled it up. All right, well, you stuck with it, which tells me all we need to know. He's definitely black.

[Brady]

Is that a soccer jersey?

[John]

What Is he. Is he wearing a.

[Dick Toledo]

No, it's a US Postal Service.

[John]

I don't know. I might be right.

[Brady]

I'm out.

[John]

So, yeah, the Filipino is definitely the first one off the list. He's in that suit in that one. I think he's.

[Dick Toledo]

Hanging Bali. Is that his wife? That's the lady that he was.

[John]

I think. I think I nailed it. I think I've got it.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, he's on LinkedIn.

[John]

There we go. Let's see. Check on his first job.

[Dick Toledo]

CEO of Double Blue Investments. And there's a mining picture in his profile.

[John]

Never mind. He's got.

[Brady]

He got this one.

[John]

Diamonds on the soles of his shoes.

[Dick Toledo]

The Gemology Institute of America.

[John]

You might as well have Paul Simon singing in front of him. Lady Smith. Black Mazo. Okay, I was wrong. That's a fun one. That was a tough game. I liked your Filipino guest. Could have gone anyway there.

[Listener]

Forever 21 is going out of business at the age of 40.

[John]

So wait a minute. They were peaked at 21, and at 40, they've expired. Brett may be on to. Yeah.

[Brady]

Told you.

[Listener]

And the soda company. Poppy.

[John]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Pepsi just bought them for 1.6 billion.

[John]

No kidding. I've had them. It's pretty good.

[Brady]

What is it?

[Listener]

And I didn't know.

[John]

Healthier soda.

[Listener]

Shark tank in 2018.

[John]

Oh, good. It's.

[Brady]

I thought it was one of the CBD drinks.

[John]

No, I expected it to be like. Kind of like, ugh. This is gonna be.

[Dick Toledo]

There's a couple of them that are a little.

[John]

I didn't try all the flavors. I had two. One of them tastes a little like Dr. Pepper.

[Dick Toledo]

The grape is good.

[John]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Ralphie, KFC has now added fried mashed potato poppers for a limited time. What? You can give them on their. On their own or with a side of gravy or in the new Dunk it, Bucket with tenders and fries.

[John]

You're such an unbelievably natural happiness, even when you're just talking a little bit jokey. Don't let him shame you. Sort.

[Listener]

I heard Duncan, Ralphie.

[John]

I heard Duncan Bucket. And I in my ghost clothes. Oh, my God. Dunk it, Bucket. Where's that at?

[Dick Toledo]

KFC with mashed potato poppers.

[Listener]

Yeah. Fried mashed potato pop.

[John]

Man, oh, man.

[Listener]

Fried. Ralphie, I heard you.

[Dick Toledo]

Mashed potatoes.

[John]

Oh, may have it.

[Dick Toledo]

Dunk.

[John]

Don't stop believing. Okay, I gotta go.

[Dick Toledo]

So much good.

[Listener]

See you, Ralphie.

[John]

I'm about to bust in my angel wings right here.

[Listener]

Good God.

[John]

All right, I see you got. Later. Bye.

[Listener]

I got some radio videos. First one's a little St. Patty's Day fallout in Pittsburgh.

[John]

Okay.

[Listener]

Little patio party.

[John]

Oh, we're on a very small patio with an awful lot of people on it.

[Listener]

Rooftop, too.

[John]

There's a kid with a cowboy hat. So this will go R word fast.

[Dick Toledo]

No sound.

[John]

Apparently there is. Oh, geez. The whole rooftop just collapsed on this poor people village.

[Listener]

Not everyone noticed.

[Dick Toledo]

Pittsburgh.

[John]

Not one Steeler shirt. Just means it's the dumb side of Pittsburgh. There's an eagle shirt in that mix. I don't like this crowd at all.

[Brady]

The only green I have is bro.

[John]

All right. There's one of those dumb mick hats, too. God. Holidays.

[Listener]

Stupid next one. Oh, you. Okay, Skip the one.

[Dick Toledo]

It doesn't. It's not coming up.

[Listener]

Oh, that's a good one, too.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not that. It's not that. That great.

[Listener]

The flaming hand. It's just.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Brady]

Oh, find that one. Now.

[John]

Now, you two, your debate has made it so we have to see the flaming up. You're telling me a flaming hand's not good? You can practically smell it.

[Brady]

Watch your mouth.

[John]

Keep it down over there.

[Dick Toledo]

Was he handling KFC poppers?

[John]

What is it? Describe it.

[Listener]

A kid was basically doing a stun karate board, and they light his hand on fire, and the rest of his body catches on fire.

[John]

Oh, that does sou good. It's a child who burns down his whole body.

[Brady]

Something wrong with the description?

[John]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I. From Brady's description. A kid trying to karate chop a board, and his whole body bursts into flames.

[Listener]

Ms. Poor by dad. And dad's involved or his instructor.

[John]

Can't imagine. Dad was.

[Brady]

I actually may have that video.

[John]

Okay.

[Brady]

I have something similar to it if that's not it. So we'll cheat in a little bit.

[John]

But Toledo. You don't like that video? I didn't say I didn't like. It was just. It's not as good as.

[Brady]

It wasn't as good of a sell.

[John]

I mean, Brady sold it.

[Dick Toledo]

The sale was better.

[John]

I'm buying. I'm buying that. I'm getting a clear coat on that. I want that again. A child lights. Tell me this isn't like, from the handbook of how to talk to John. Do you want to see a video where a kid lights his hand on fire and tries to karate chop a board, but his whole body bursts into flames? I'm like, when am I ever going to say no to that?

[Brady]

I think I do have. I think I do have the video.

[John]

So. Yeah, that's like the most awesome show. It now might be the most awesome description I've ever heard of. Anything and you say not so good. Well, now it's built up to the point where this kid better burst into a big flame.

[Dick Toledo]

Let's get to this one. I'll try and find it.

[John]

I think I got it.

[Listener]

This one's a little police training. I don't know if we've seen this one before, but the car.

[John]

Oh, my God. There's a. Oh, it is the Russians. They drive a car on two wheels over. Oh, and it's over a bunch of dudes who have volunteered to kind of lay down on the ground, and the car falls on one of them and drags around. That's terribly stupid. That's a really. I mean, it's.

[Brady]

No kids. Flaming hand, you know?

[John]

Again, awesome. Just the concept of, like, I could chop that board in half with my hand and start a fire with it. Do that immediately.

[Listener]

This is for baseball.

[John]

Okay, guys?

[Listener]

The comet says he should play for the Mets. You got to hear the sound on.

[John]

Okay. Oh, Jesus. The dude just start beating another person in the skull. Streets, people are laughing. Some guy just came up with a board and hit another dude in the head two times. Was that a bad person?

[Listener]

Yeah. Was he still. In the case of.

[John]

It's like Troy Polamalu just shoots out of nowhere and beats up a man with a stick. And people laugh. Oh. I mean, the first shot is a. He drops a 12 pack of soda in his back. That's crazy. There's no reasoning for this. Was that guy hand on fire? Cause that would make it. Why did Moana get so mad at that black. That guy Mystery.

[Brady]

All right, f. Around and find out.

[John]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Last one's a frozen flip. The guy standing on a steel fence. And you got to hear the sound on this.

[John]

It says the guy broke his neck. He's standing on a fence, and it's ice. It's like 2 degrees. Does a backflip, and then he hits his face on the fence that he's trying to do a backflip off of. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

It's got to be in Boston.

[John]

Yeah, that's a broken neck. Yeah, this is in Boston. Yo, Day, bro. Here's your pork. Here's your Borg. All right, that's it.

[Brady]

It's too cold for my Mick Hat bird sucks.

[John]

Bring me a flaming boy.

[Brady]

I think I got the flaming flame hands.

[John]

Wait, let me rephrase that.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, exactly.

[John]

I need a flaming boy, and I need one now. All right, here we go.

[Brady]

I think this is it.

[John]

This is flaming boy. Oh, my God. That's. He's a little chubby. Oh, it might be his dad. Brady's right. Oh, his hands on fire. He talk karate chop. And he tries to blow his hand, and it doesn't go out. And now he. Now he starts on guitar. The whole place is burning up. This is the best video I've ever watched. Jalito, you're out of your mind. How? In the heat, you get fire. You get fire. It's like the scarecrow. That was awesome.

[Listener]

What's your problem?

[John]

Man, how in the world did you say that's not that good? The whole stage went up.

[Dick Toledo]

I was just trying to move on.

[John]

His whole goal was to just chop. We got time just to chop two pieces of wood with a flaming hand. And his whole body went up. And the stage. Show it again, Brett. All right, Hang on.

[Brady]

Pulled back up.

[John]

I loved it.

[Listener]

It's either his dad or sensei.

[John]

Yeah. There's an. There's an adult present. There's a crowd. I didn't realize this was going to be. He's got three boards, too. Hands on fire. Chops it and immediately. Immediately starts blowing out his hand. Keep it. The better part is, oh, my God, everyone's on fire. This is awesome.

[Brady]

So Kevin from Discover Cards is never going to be the same.

[John]

Your bill can die.

[Brady]

Be able to dial those numbers anywhere.

[John]

You're not getting a call today. If you're behind on your Discover card, the whole place burned down. The best part is the guy that lights the kid's hand on fire, he's the same one on the banner behind that's putting together this Tony Robbins of India type. It is. Yeah.

[Listener]

Life changers.

[John]

He's. He's life coaching people. I don't know. How empowering is it to be 14 and chop three boards up with a flaming hand? How bad?

[Listener]

Let me put it out with more.

[John]

Alcohol, with more of whatever this liquid is. I've got liquid. This will wait.

[Listener]

Not water.

[John]

Don't panic. I've got it. Whoops. Gasoline. Oh, that's a great video. Toledo. You're out of your mind. All right, Brett. All right.

[Brady]

Here's some. Some parking lot action.

[John]

Oh, Guy in a moped. He's firing up these Russians. I tells you what, we do not want to go to war with them.

[Listener]

That was a doozy.

[John]

Guy crashed into the side of a car. Up. And the car runs him over completely. Oh, we're in Asia. Never mind. You know what?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

He's got the five finger death walk going. He's up. He's walking around. He went under the car. All four tires ran over his head, and he's. One tire was walking away. Yeah. Front and back tires go over. That's a good hoodie. That's the most powerful hoodie I've ever seen. All right, that's. We're two in a row with that.

[Brady]

Here's one. This guy. I don't know. Somebody's after him.

[John]

Okay. He's leaving a store.

[Listener]

We got a assassination.

[John]

He looks over his shoulder. He's walking down the street. Surveillance camera Catching him. And he's getting pretty far away now. Not sure what's going on. Oh, here's a car just points itself at him and hits him. This is a Sopranos moment. Oh, it hits him again. Again. Second one does the trick. Yeah. Guy drove up on the sidewalk. Yeah, that dude was definitely targeted there. He's still up. Does he get it again? He doesn't even seem nervous that this car just ran him over twice. And the guy just backed up. He's gonna do it again.

[Brady]

He must be banging somebody's girl or something.

[Dick Toledo]

What's the timing, though, man?

[John]

Catch him right there. He is leaving the AT&T store.

[Brady]

All right. And I think we've seen something like this one before. 4.

[John]

Oh, God. This guy's got.

[Dick Toledo]

Wild bill.

[John]

He took out his whole. Oh, all right, I'll explain it. Don't worry. Where his right eye should be. He has a giant hole. And then he takes out his entire top.

[Dick Toledo]

It's his whole palate.

[John]

His whole palate. He. He tried to kill himself by putting a shotgun or gun in his mouth, and it went out his eye.

[Dick Toledo]

So he's got half palate.

[John]

And it blew his. Blew his palette off and went out his eye. Oh, he takes his whole set of. And he sticks his finger in his palate. Out of the eye. Yeah. He's not clean. He hasn't made a lot of good decisions.

[Brady]

Nice hair.

[John]

His hair is the worst part of it. I very rarely look at somebody with a hole where their eyes should be and go get a haircut.

[Brady]

Right.

[Dick Toledo]

By the way, is. Is that like a Amco mechanics jersey?

[Brady]

It's some kind of factory train something or other.

[Listener]

Certified.

[John]

He's delivering Snap on. That's it.

[Dick Toledo]

It was more snap on there.

[John]

He's got. Got your new order. It's coming today. Don't look him in the eye.

[Brady]

There's that broad you were running to a 2 in the morning at the bar. Oh, it's clean.

[John]

Okay. Running down the street with no pants. Pants on. It looks pretty good. Now she's running back towards.

[Listener]

Oh, hell no.

[John]

Totally naked brother.

[Listener]

Snake bro, get back.

[John]

Oh, and then she just starts peeing for no reason. Just starts firing out of her. What the hell? I agree.

[Brady]

That's worth a play again.

[John]

Yeah, she just screamed and peed real hard.

[Listener]

What the hell?

[John]

She ran up a road and back, no pants down, and then screamed and sprayed something on, like a skunk.

[Brady]

And you got to give this guy.

[John]

Jesus Christ. We've got a lot of these today.

[Brady]

Got to give this guy credit he's making the best of a bad situation.

[John]

We're on a windowsill. He's looking out at a cruddy alley. There's a guy in a wheelchair.

[Listener]

Oh, he's getting fellated.

[John]

Oh, there's somebody blowing a guy in a wheelchair right there in an alley.

[Brady]

I didn't watch when they stop.

[John]

And some guys on like three. It's like three floors up, watching a fell. Done. Oh, how about that? The old lady comes up for air for a second, and then Thriller grabs her and pulls her right back down. The guy in the wheelchair is like, no, no, no. I'm not getting many of these. I know when I'm finished.

[Brady]

And we'll paid. We'll end this one.

[John]

Apparently and for the hour. Wow.

[Brady]

Apparently in the Urban Dictionary, this one is recognized as whale C word.

[Listener]

Blowhole.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, no.

[John]

That's a fun game to play with kids. Oh, man. All right, what am I looking at? Is this guy. Is another guy stuffing his balls? No, his whole pee pee is in his bottom. His whole pee pee is bent backwards into his own bottom. Wow, he's enjoying it. That's his well shaved. Like that's a ready for vasectomy shaved going on. Oh, jeez. It popped out. He finished.

[Brady]

He finished himself.

[John]

Literally. Go yourself. If that's what that guy just did. There's a money shot. You bastard.

[Brady]

We'll save that one.

[John]

Save that one.

[Brady]

Oh, that'll be a top tenner.

[Dick Toledo]

We have an update from your friend.

[John]

Good Lord. Oh, Tracy's in the hospital.

[Dick Toledo]

Thank you for all your concern. I'm doing okay now. Doctors say it was food poisoning. Appreciate my MSG family for taking such good care of me.

[John]

It isn't food.

[Dick Toledo]

Shout out the crew that had to clean that up. Appreciate you. More importantly, the knicks are now 1 and 0 when I throw up on the court, so maybe I'll have to break it out again in the playoffs.

[John]

That basically means that I'm going to get drunk and throw up on the floor again. That's an excuse. It's good luck.

[Dick Toledo]

You just set things up.

[John]

My puking blood equals good luck luck. Ironically, most of the time when people are throwing up and bleeding, it's a WNBA game.

[Dick Toledo]

Are we calling that the Brunson?

[John]

Tracy, Call it whatever you want. I feel better. Hey, you guys want some popcorn? I'm sorry. Get a wheelchair. Bad clan. Nobody's ever thrown up so hard they needed a wheelchair. There's more to the story. I feel bad for Tracy, but put a little Febreze on that. That'll Be all right, Nicks. Won't even smell it. Please welcome everybody at Madison Square Garden, the great Tracy Morgan. Oh, my God. I'm on the jumbo.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[John]

My God. I'm up on that jumbo. Tron puking people. Never going to forget this.

[Listener]

He'll be in the sweets from now on.

[John]

I'm a legend. I performed at Madison Square Garden. Everybody had eyes on me. That stroke business. Take that, Mikhail Bridge. Just watch your step downtown. Anyway, yeah, projectile vomiting and then a wheelchair is more than just a bad hot dog. You're. Something's bad going on. I'm worried about Tracy. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady report. It's 98 KUPD.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird.

[Brett]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Listener]

No membership fees.

[John]

I have heard enough of this. This morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil.

[Brett]

Sitting right here.

[John]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Yeah, that one's still solid. And I. What happened to that new Linkin park song? Kind of came and went. I expected that thing to be in the rotation for a long time. And it's. That thing kicked ass. That was a great song. Took me a second to like it, but once I did, it was really good. Going back to the Brady Report for a second, somebody. John de Pascal. I think he's in Illinois still. He's that White Sox fan. Yeah. He emails it. This is how long we've been doing this. Like, now I know where you live. Like, the emails. I'm. I know you live, and I know what you like. He emails and he said. Let me get this straight. Brady did a story about a Peruvian sailor who left Peru, was afloat at Sea for 94 days, and when they found him, he was still off the coast of Peru. Nobody looked for him at all. Like, right there off Peru. Peru. It's a good question. How do you get lost generally for 94 days, pretty close to where you started without being, like, under the water? Like, you're still visibly floating. And, like, we found him just off the coast of Peru, which is exactly a couple.

[Listener]

Where he last was, a couple miles offshore.

[John]

Oh, it gets tough.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

But I mean, if you're off the 94 days and you didn't really float much for you to figure, it just kind of bounced back into Peru.

[Listener]

Maybe.

[John]

Probably was.

[Listener]

Village didn't have many resources.

[John]

What village? Is he worried? Peru's big. There we go. His philosophy, his learnings about this. The village couldn't search for him. They didn't have one phone to go, hey, we need a hand. Other villages, we're missing a guy or they just didn't like him very much.

[Listener]

If you go first of all, going out solo in a. You know, you're small fishing, but weather hits.

[John]

Sure. But he's still just off the coast of where he started for three months. If you said, I'm going on walkabout, my guy Brady, have fun. And we don't hear from you for three months and five days and they find you at Papago, no one was looking. He left here and he's right there. He wasn't that far from where we started. Like I'd have figured if he was 94 days. He's in Australia or something.

[Brady]

Yeah. Or in Gilligan's island at least.

[John]

Yeah, he's on it. I was on Jesus Christ. Chuck Nolan from Castaway floated for a few days and ended up in a Chinese vessel. This guy was 94 days and he made it from Mesa to Gilbert. Nobody looked for him.

[Listener]

And the cockroaches must have been on the boat.

[John]

Yeah. How do you keep replenishing the cockroaches and the turtles? You gotta catch a lot of turtles. You're close to shore if there's turtles. Unless you're catching those giant sea turtles and then that guy can live for years out there. When I was scuba diving in Australia that time, those sea turtles went by from a distance. And I asked the guy, what boat is that? When we were at the top, what boat went by us and goes, turtles, mate. I'm like, what? Yeah, they gigantic. They don't come around the reef much. Like they don't fit in the reef much. So it's a pretty amazing thing. I got an idea from a listener after you struggled with Gilligan's island so much.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

And he said like, gully, gully, gully, gully. Yeah. Yeah. He started giggity, giggity gigging and gilly ta. He emailed and said, I have a thing. I don't know that Brady can say a two word tongue twister. And then he started to send me stuff and I'm like, this is pretty good. Like, I'm not sure I can do it. So I want to have a game where we actually. We should probably fanduel this. We bet. And we can get a listener on the thing and tell them this is the word Brady. This is the phrase Brady's going to try to say. Brady can't hear it. And Then we'll hand Brady a piece of paper. Paper. And see if you can just read it. Rip and read. Gotcha. Maybe I'll put all the phrases in a sentence. That's easier than just looking at it and concentrating. Like you have to read the sentence.

[Brady]

Oh, no.

[John]

And the phrase is in there. Will you nail it or not? That's what we'll do. So if you want to put. What do we have going? Oh, it's going to be good.

[Brady]

NHRA tickets.

[John]

Oh, tickets to go. And, Brett, you're gonna be out there Saturday. Okay, great.

[Brady]

That's what I was told. I think that's the rumor.

[John]

Nobody here does their job real thoroughly, so we don't know a fact. A lot of times you're listening to the rad. Hey, Brett will be out of. And Brett goes. I will. So that's what we're finding things out. It's not in any book or on any paperwork, but evidently a sales staff just dreams things. And then we have to read their minds. Like, you know, minority report, orcs appearance. You hear that from those. We have these bald women that float in this gelatinous ooze. Brett has an appearance. Oh, okay. The cogs are cool talking. All right. We got a few of these phrases. Brady will take his headphones off. We get you guys on the phone if you want to go to NHRA and hang out with Brett and watch the greatest sporting event that we have in this city. That I talk about it all the time. Ron Cap's going to try to be here later this week. Nhra. It's an eargasm. It's the greatest sound you've ever heard. It's happening again this weekend. The weather should be perfect. If you want to go 585-9800. We just have to play. Can Brady say it? And once he does, if you're right or you're wrong, you bet. It's just a yes or no game, basically. So we'll see if he can do it. And some of these are fun. Some of them I'm not sure I can get through in a sentence without flopping around, but you're known for it. So we're going to put you to the test before the stroke. Before? Yeah. Once. Once you have the stroke, this won't be funny, but pre stroke, it's hilarious. It's 8:48 if you want to play. 585. 9800 will give you those NHRA tickets. 98. KUPD.

[Listener]

Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Brett]

I mean, who talks like that?

[John]

98K Holberg's Morning Sickness. All right, this is a. This is a. An idea from a listener whose name I've already forgotten. But it's pretty solid, and it was good. He's like, can you say this? And then he said, do you think Brady can say this? He had trouble with Gilligan's island earlier. And I said, oh, man, I don't know. Some of this stuff is tough. We're gonna make it more suspenseful as well. We have people on the line. Brady, you're gonna take your headphones off and you say it, and you say these mostly two word phrases. I've written sentences for each. The two words next to each other to see if there are certain things you can blow right over. We'll have the. I'll tell the listener on the line what the two word phrase is. Brady will put his headphones back on. We'll bet whether or not he can say it. And then Brady will try the sentence. Oh, are you ready, Brady? Ready, sir. All right, let's go to the phones. Give me Don on line one first. Don, are you there? Yeah. Yes, sir. All right. Hi, Don. How are you?

[Listener]

I'm doing great.

[John]

Yourself? That's a little too exuberant. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

[Brett]

But I like.

[John]

All right, Don, that's nice. Thank you. I'm doing well. Brady, I need you to take your headphones off. Cover your beautiful ears.

[Brett]

He did.

[John]

Like a child. All right, Don, in the sentence, Brady is going to try to say the phrase blue glue gun. Do you think he can get through this sentence without messing that up?

[Brett]

Blue.

[John]

Blue gun. No, you screwed it up. You can't even do it. Stay there. Blue glue gun. Oh, okay. No, I don't think he can get it. So you're saying no. All right. So for NHRA tickets, you say no. All right, Brady's back, ready to say it's gonna hand you. That's right. Now don't, Don't.

[Dick Toledo]

You're setting yourself up.

[John]

Don't concentrate too hard. It's a rip. And read. You open it and you start reading what I give you. I'm handing Brady the paper very suspensefully. Very scary. Here we go, Brady. Go. Good luck.

[Listener]

Blue goo guns are good glue guns.

[John]

That's it. All right. Don gets tickets. He was right. Betting no is a safe bet. I'm thinking a lot of these blue glue guns are a good glue gun was very difficult.

[Dick Toledo]

Did he get blue out or was it.

[John]

He got blue out. It was a Struggle. When I saw it was boo goo. When I saw his face. Move on blue. I'm like, glue's not coming out because his whole head hit blue. Blue goo.

[Brady]

I'm like, we're done a few times. Wish we had cameras in the studio.

[John]

Yeah, we don't want that. Let's not do that. All right, let's go. Don, you've got tickets. Adam, let's see if you can. Adam, are you there? Yes, sir. How are you? I'm good, Adam. How are you?

[Brett]

Good, boss.

[John]

All right, thanks. Brady, take your headphones off. I got bossed. All right, this one, this one. You got to see whether or not Brady can say in the sentence, right rear wheel well.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, God, no.

[John]

No, immediately.

[Dick Toledo]

No way.

[John]

All right. Not a soul as faith in the poor bugger. All right, you're good. Headphones back on. No, Brady, I'm telling you, no. The answer. They're even saying it before they hear it. Here we go. I'm very suspensefully trying to hand Brady. And away we go. Brady. Go get him.

[Listener]

Shane Orlando had to fix my right rear wheel well.

[John]

Oh, he knocked it out. It got very concentrated. You put that kind of concentration into the brain report, we didn't have this problem.

[Listener]

Adam.

[John]

You get nothing at him. You got nothing. This guy peacocking around the room now. Jesus. Sound like he has a dick in his mouth when he says blue glue gun, though. All right. All right, big shot.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, he's going to jail.

[John]

Let's go. All right, big fella. Mr. Word Maker, Joe's online. Joe, are you there? Yes, I'm here. Thank you. All right, Joe, how are you today? I'm good. Better than 50% chance I could win, huh? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know if it's better, but probably lean in one way. Yeah, you're right. All right, do you just want to give us your guess now before hearing the word no? Okay. All right. I mean, yes. I don't know. I got you. Here's the phrase Brady will have to try to say. All right, ready? Czechoslovakian physicists. No way. Okay, break. He's back. This game's ridiculous. I know. Because it's suspenseful. It's got, like, a natural suspense in the room.

[Dick Toledo]

Can we guess which word gets messed up first?

[John]

Well, then we can do it on the next one. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. All right, Joe, good luck. I'm handing Brady the note, and away we go. Brady, go get him. Read it.

[Listener]

The project was a collaboration between German and Czechoslovakian physicists.

[John]

Oh, my God. Nobody had no prayer. We need to put this kind of heat on. I'm sorry.

[Listener]

Can we spread it around?

[John]

Anyone else? No. Brady, the point of the game is you're kind of a stumble bum with words. The rest of us, it's just not funny.

[Listener]

It's sad.

[John]

No, it just happens to people every once in a while. It happens to you constantly. That's why it's fun. Happen to you. It wouldn't be much of a game to say. Can John say this? Yeah. What are the odds? I slip up. I got good diction. I'm well versed. I'm literate.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, three shots.

[John]

Huge ones. But he wanted to get cocky. I want to bring him back down.

[Brady]

Two in a row. Here we go.

[Brett]

Here we go.

[John]

All right, ready? Take your hat off. Tanner is there. Tanner, are you there? Yeah. All right, he's two. He's two out of three. Tanner, people have no faith in the guy. And he's knocked two down. I don't know. We'll see what's happening. Let's see. Will Brady be able to incorporate this next two word phrase in the sentence? Irish wristwatch? Yeah, he's got it. You think he's got this one? All right. I. I think so. Okay, Brady, I suspensefully hand over.

[Dick Toledo]

This is a sentence, right?

[John]

Yeah, it's in the sentence. Brady read the note.

[Listener]

A man from Dublin was wearing a stolen Irish wristwatch.

[John]

I don't like that stuff. Far too much conversation. No, I'm gonna give it a no on that. You had to stop, think and say instead of just saying irish wristwatch.

[Listener]

That's not a rip.

[Dick Toledo]

And Reed.

[John]

Yeah, it's not a rip and read. That was a very too deliberate saying. He gets tickets. Tanner gets tickets. If you start reading staccato and not like in conversational manner, Read it like you do the Brady report. Haphazardly and crazy. His name was just embellishing Facts. Ceiling. Look at the ceiling of Ben's. Add facts. Keep your head down. Check your phone every once in a while. All right, let's go to the next. Greg's online too. We'll try another one here. I like this. Greg, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. All right, Greg, are you ready? I am absolutely ready. Brady is two and two. Okay, this is a tough one, but Brady likes animals. Will Brady be able to say 11 benevolent elephants? I think so. I'm counting on Brady. All right, here we go. All right, For NHRA tickets, I very suspensefully hand over the note to the Short arms of breed. Look at you. All right, go, read. Go.

[Listener]

Wildlife. World Zoo has 11 benevolent elephants.

[Brady]

Pausing again.

[John]

You're pausing to think about the sentence. We need you to knock it out. Give it to him. We'll give it to him, though.

[Listener]

He read it, knocked it out of the park.

[John]

Well, here we go. There we go. Lawless. Knock it out of a tea. All right, all right, next one. Then we'll go to Zachary. You took it away from him. Did he say no?

[Brady]

Yeah, he said no.

[John]

Oh, no.

[Listener]

He gives.

[John]

Oh, no. No. I think the guy said he's not. He didn't think he could do it. Oh, yeah. Or did he say he could do it?

[Dick Toledo]

He said he could do it.

[Brady]

Then call back.

[John]

We'll get him back.

[Dick Toledo]

I think we put. We screwed up the last call.

[John]

Jesus, man, Toledo. Get through it. Somebody named Sloan is on the line. Sloan or you there? Sloan? No, Sloan. Sloan where? Do you know someone named Sloan? Where your phone says that's your name? Zachary. Yeah, give me the next one. Zachary, are you there? Yes, I'm here. All right, Zachary, are you ready? Yes. All right, this is a good one because it's straight from the show 30 Rock. I like this. Will Brady be able to get to say, clearly say, rural juror?

[Brett]

Absolutely not.

[John]

All right. Okay, here we go. Brady. Very suspensefully handed to the short baby arms of Brady. He struggles mightily to reach it over the countertop. All right, here we go. Brady. Read it.

[Brett]

Go.

[Listener]

The verdict was in question because of the rural juror.

[John]

Oh, he knocked it out. That's the toughest one. Sorry. Zachary, Brady blows you out of the water with rural juror. There's a very difficult. That is hard. The rural juror.

[Listener]

I don't know what happened.

[Brady]

I don't think I would have been.

[John]

Able to get that one. He said clearer than I think I've ever heard those two words and no pauses. Yeah, and you knocked it out like you were actually reading it. All right, Brady, I don't think you can read this one. Oh, you're just giving him one blind go. Just read it. Go.

[Listener]

He edited when it was. He saw it was a text error.

[John]

Try to again.

[Listener]

He edited it when I was.

[John]

That was a fail. I. I was correct. Edited. It is a tough one. He edited it is not easy. Sounds like you're starting to have a little stroke.

[Listener]

It just sounds so natural.

[John]

Finally. Brett, do you think he can say this?

[Brady]

I think he'll do that one.

[John]

I think he's got.

[Brady]

I think he's got that one.

[John]

Ready? Good luck. To you. He's right across the countertop. If you could just get hold of it. Okay, read that sentence, Brady.

[Brett]

Go.

[Listener]

Brett's new truck features dual rear wheels.

[John]

See, you're not. That's not how people talk.

[Listener]

Yeah, I don't. I thought I hammered it there.

[John]

You don't think you did a good job with it?

[Dick Toledo]

Well, it wasn't clean, but.

[John]

Well, I was already upset with Brett's new truck. I would punch you if you started selling it. Just read it like a sentence. Give up to Brett like that.

[Listener]

Brett's new truck has writing.

[John]

All right, whatever. Yeah, that's it. He's not wrong. My handwriting's going to hell. Read it. Go.

[Dick Toledo]

Your handwriting's the best in the world.

[John]

But it's not good anymore compared to our penmanship, all of us used to be so good. Go ahead.

[Listener]

Brett's new truck features dual reels.

[John]

First time he got it done. But if you're bouncing your head like the ball's going across the screen, that's not how people.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, is that a speech therapy thing to do?

[John]

It kind of sing something, annunciate all the words? Yeah, it's easier to. To do if you're just trying to read a sentence and you don't keep it rhythmic.

[Dick Toledo]

Do that with your Trajan this week.

[John]

Yeah, go to my friend over at Trajan. Well, that way Toledo won't edit for an hour and a half.

[Listener]

That's why I spell it out at the end.

[John]

Or the. The disclaimer at the end of the fanduel thing. Try to get through that in one, man. Can you get through it in one hit?

[Listener]

Gems.

[John]

Can you get through it in 1 hit? Do you have it?

[Dick Toledo]

The better thing is to.

[John]

Oh, yeah, go get it. I'll give you $500 if you get this.

[Brady]

Oh, man, look at this.

[John]

And Toledo will be the one that makes sure that all the words are there. This is a $500 win for you. I will. I'll get the cash app.

[Brady]

There's a funny one somebody just sent in, but we can't say there's too many.

[John]

It's the c word.

[Brady]

No Fs.

[John]

No.

[Brady]

All right, but you got the email, too.

[John]

Brady, read the fanduel disclaimer for Arizona.

[Brady]

I don't know if I can do this half the time. There's times I have to redo it start to finish.

[John]

Five bucks. Go.

[Listener]

A 21 plus and present in Arizona. Opt in regular. What's that? What are you saying? You interrupted.

[John]

No, I know. That wasn't right. He started Shaking his head.

[Listener]

Shut your.

[John]

No, you shut yours. He started shaking his head. You were already wrong. He's the one. He produces your commercials, so he's the one would have to go. Start again.

[Dick Toledo]

Arizona.

[Listener]

Twice.

[John]

Yeah, you said Arizona two times.

[Listener]

When did I say Arizona? I said AZ and then you said because.

[John]

Az.

[Listener]

Because it says.

[John]

No, no, Brady, it says AZ because that's. That's why he would stop you. AZ is for the people in az. Read this disclaimer. The next one says IL. You don't say that. That's Illinois.

[Listener]

Do it again.

[John]

I think so. But that's already a fail.

[Listener]

Yeah, well, I have to go. I mean, I have to try it again.

[Brady]

He didn't get all the way through.

[John]

You don't say a AZ to start that. Yeah, because that's the one that says hey, these are for the endorsers in az. Read this one. So you wouldn't say az.

[Listener]

Gotcha.

[John]

Yeah, that's why. That's why he was shaking his head immediately. So shut your pile. Try again.

[Listener]

Go 21 plus and present Arizona Opt In. Required wager of at least 100 plus odds. Required bonus issued as non withdrawable profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amount. See terms at sportsbook doc. FanDuel gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342.

[John]

Not bad.

[Brady]

The profit tokens when I thought he was gonna stumble on but he fled.

[John]

Token's not easy.

[Listener]

All right, that's the longest one yet.

[John]

No cash for you. That's a good.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, that's why I.

[John]

No, that's actually one of the easier ones.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't give those ones to you.

[John]

Well, no, because he wants to go home.

[Listener]

I'm not trying to be a dick.

[John]

He wants to go home.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm trying to make it simple.

[Brady]

Stupid.

[Listener]

Those aren't make it slow cracks me up.

[John]

It's funny cuz it's you. Otherwise it wouldn't be.

[Listener]

That's why Brett does his own.

[John]

Oh, Brett would be horrible at this. But it's not.

[Dick Toledo]

He knows but he gets to do it in his own home.

[John]

Yeah, I just do my studio. He edits his own? Yep. If Toledo's got other things to do, he's got to edit all that stuff. He gives you the easiest ones appears.

[Brady]

One that just came through.

[John]

Oh no. It is fun.

[Brady]

This one's clean.

[John]

All right, well, we printing right now?

[Brady]

Depends on how it's Irish wristwatch would.

[John]

Screw me up every time in conversation.

[Dick Toledo]

Just looking at it.

[John]

Yeah, that's Irish wristwatch. Is like my face twitches like I get a tick.

[Dick Toledo]

And the benevolent. See, benevolent.

[Brady]

Benevolent elephant restrictions apply sometimes screws me up too.

[John]

When you're.

[Listener]

When you're on a roll and.

[John]

Oh, these are. These are required.

[Listener]

Is just re. They don't even say that.

[John]

So you.

[Listener]

You know.

[John]

But. Yeah, but you know what they're saying? They're trying to just kill time on the typing. If you said opt in rec. People be like, what's that? They're assuming you're gonna finish.

[Brady]

Sean Rockefeller has one. You got the email too. He wants to see if you can.

[Dick Toledo]

The blind guy has one.

[John]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

I don't think I could do that one.

[John]

All right, You're Sean Rockefeller's doctor. He's blind.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[John]

And you have to break the news to him that he has. I'll print it. It'll be easier. That he has this disease. Did you print. No.

[Brady]

Oh, no.

[John]

That he has this illness. This is what Sean has. Now, if you were an obstetrician. Opt. Obstetrician is babies option. Optician. How do you say optician? Optician.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John]

I don't even know the word. Ophthalmology. There you go. If you were his eye doctor, you would have to tell him. Break the news to Sean that he has this.

[Listener]

Sean, I've got bad news for you.

[John]

Where are you?

[Listener]

You have bad news. You have bad eyes.

[John]

I'm blind. See, I'm playing. I'm playing the role of Sean. You have bad eyes.

[Listener]

What is.

[John]

What is the name of my disease?

[Listener]

Dominant optic atrophy.

[John]

There you go. He read it and he read. That was smart. That was a smart move, Dominic. Optic atrophy. Dominic, the optic atrophist. All right. Sorry about that, Sean. Anyway, thanks for playing, Brady. Don't get grouchy. You were 50. 50. It worked out perfectly for the game.

[Dick Toledo]

Bunch of text.

[Listener]

Hall of fame numbers.

[Dick Toledo]

Bunch of texters are saying, take. Check the tape. He threw an extra L and Czechoslovakian.

[John]

I'll give it to him. We could. We. We worked through it. It wasn't great, but. Would we have edited it? Edited it, Edited it. You might have let that one one slide. I'm going off of what you would go, all right, read it again.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, like the Arizona one, right?

[John]

You can't start with a cuz. That's not in the. That's not the actual party. That's fine. Good job, Brady. Brady was 50. 50. We gave a couple of tickets away. Got to give a third one to that Guy we hung up on. That's Brett's fault and there's nothing to it. It's Tuesday. We got the hot releases coming up next. It's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[Brett]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Listener]

No membership fee.

[John]

I've heard enough of this. You PD Con's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an of Satan himself.

[Brett]

He's evil sitting right here.

[John]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good stuff, man. Brett and I argue about that album a lot. I absolutely loved can't get into it that album. Three songs. I can't stand on it. But in the modern era of records, especially rock, having seven songs on a record you like is unbelievable. Unbelievable.

[Brady]

And I've tried a few times because.

[John]

You and Larry love it.

[Brady]

And I've tried a couple times. I just. I can't do it.

[John]

Put it on riding the bike the other day and just lost me. You too. I know Larry's in the room now. We both life is but a dream is a either you love it or hate it album still listen. Me too. I listen Saturday.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

At work while I'm sitting at my desk. Larry not only has the skills to listen to it at his desk, he can whistle all of those songs. And you've never ever had a weirder experience though Larry whistling thoroughly entire rock songs which is. Yeah, it's amazing. You know when Larry, when Steamboat Larry's in the hallway whistling one of these rock songs but you. I've. You've gotten me on that. He'll be whistling nobody in the hallway and then I go home singing. I'm like, where? Oh, Larry was whistling it. He should enter contests. He's a good whistler. It's an excellent Whistler. It's 9:32. It's time for the hot relax releases and they are by our [e-mail]. oh, I'm telling you, summer is close. If that. I had a guy just email me go, you were right. I got to get my AC unit fixed. I. I know it's not going to start when I need it to. I had that feeling in my car the other day. I had my air on and I'm like, this isn't happening as fast as I'd like it to. And I'm like, oh boy, wait for summer. But with your house, oh, it gets dangerous. Your pets and all that other other stuff. You don't want to be gone for a day or so and come home and find out that the whole thing conked out, but you knew you could have replaced it. New AC unit.com will help you out. Right now, use the promo code. Holmberg at 500 off the already amazing price. Save thousand, save time. Buy online. New AC unit dot com. Let's start with you, Richard. All right.

[Dick Toledo]

While we were out last week, like, people kept hammering me on this one. WWE 2K25.

[John]

Holy. That's a video. Video game. Oh, now it looks like one. At first it didn't.

[Dick Toledo]

There are times when it'll catch you.

[John]

I don't know how to play wrestling.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't either. I have no idea.

[John]

Like.

[Dick Toledo]

Like, does everybody have a. Like a signature move? Like, you gotta hit the hit stick.

[John]

Here's the thing for me with video game wrestling. The entertainment in wrestling is not the wrestling.

[Dick Toledo]

Right, Exactly.

[John]

So if I see Roman Reigns frames and the Rock fighting, that part I don't care about. It's what they say. That's. It's the soap opera in between. So I've never really wanted to do wrestling.

[Dick Toledo]

And then another one we missed while we were out on hbo. Max, the righteous gemstone season four that started debuted this past Sunday.

[Listener]

My young adult show about Jesus being a teenager.

[John]

Why don't you call it Team Jesus? Team Josh, Teen and Jesus Mixed. Yeah, but not mixed in a way that makes any sense. Like, that's not how you combine words. I got it. Use the J from Jesus. You shorten teen. You call them gene. Gene. Okay. That's better. Ain't nobody gonna call Jesus Gene. This show is hilarious. It is if you've sat through a few of them. If you can get through the first couple kind of like annoying episodes, it gets real funny.

[Dick Toledo]

On Hulu is Good American Family starring Ellen Pompeo from Grey's Anatomy. Inspired by multiple stories, perspectives, threats, interpretations, and accusations. Watch Ellen Pompeo as she plays Faith Reed in Good American Family.

[John]

I see you were on the path to adopting. We have a little girl here. She is 7, and she has dwarfism. And what's her name? Natalia. Natalia. Oh, is Natalia Grayson story.

[Dick Toledo]

This is the.

[John]

That's what it is. It's beautiful. They made a movie about this already? Yeah. Oh. Inspired by multiple. Oh, I see. Yeah. Natalia, who plays Natalia Grace.

[Dick Toledo]

Gary Oldman.

[John]

That should be. That should be like, some group should be angry at this movie for plopping that makeup on that girl. And if that's not makeup, you shouldn't be allowed to cast her on Paramount.

[Dick Toledo]

Plus and on CBS is a happy face, which is the murder thing.

[John]

So you understand, stay out of my life and stay away from me and my kids. What, is this new?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John]

Come on in, Ivy. I'm just finding out a little more about Melissa here. What's going on? This is true crime. She's makeup. Earlier today, the person called into the this show, the Happy Face Killer, the trucker serial killer from around here. And he made it clear there were only two people here that he would talk to. Myself and Melissa here. Oh.

[Brett]

Why?

[John]

He's my father. All right. This is a good one. Yeah. So inspired by true life. Oh, it is. And he was. And the lady was on Dr. Phil or something.

[Dick Toledo]

Something like that. Yeah. Some kind of. It was in the Northwest. I remember Sing Sing was up for a bunch of Academy Awards. That debuts on hbo. Max, I believe tomorrow about the prison. Yeah.

[Brady]

This is a clemency hearing for your.

[Dick Toledo]

Conviction, so everybody knows what that one is. And then the big theatrical release this weekend is Snow White, the live action version. Live action slash animated version.

[John]

Oh, this is when everybody's mad at. Because Snow White's brown.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[John]

And then midgets aren't midgets. Everything. Take him away. Your majesty.

[Dick Toledo]

What did you say, gal?

[Brett]

The people need some kindness.

[John]

You know, I really don't remember you being this opinionated. It's a good evil witch. Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

[Brett]

Fame is thy beauty.

[John]

Majesty. This thing's getting beat up by critics and stuff, but it looks cool. I. Now behold. I look at you, right? And I just. And I don't care what everybody cares about. I don't care. Yeah, show me the midgets. Fairest of them all. Right. There they are. There we go.

[Brady]

What's wrong with Snow White?

[John]

Huh?

[Brady]

What's wrong with Snow White?

[John]

So they're mad because she's brown, just like a Mexican. So people are losing their minds. I just think she's a pretty lady. Yeah.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

I don't know. It's a human. What did you think? Think I was nothing. Ghost. Those aren't real. I thought, is that why the midgets are mad? Is because the little people are all.

[Dick Toledo]

They can create real jobs.

[Brady]

All right, let's get Brad Williams in again.

[Dick Toledo]

Brad said that I was waiting to.

[John]

See because I had read that they didn't use little people and I'm like big people and then shrunk them. No, they just used AI. Yeah, they just used AI.

[Dick Toledo]

That's all I got for this week. All right, big one.

[John]

Well, then you got Bert Kreischer. He was on this morning. His special is on Netflix. So. All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Today.

[John]

What do you got on music?

[Brady]

All right, let's see here.

[John]

All right.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm trying.

[Dick Toledo]

Pulling a Brady.

[Brady]

There we go.

[John]

Sleep on.

[Brady]

I'm stretching. Sorry.

[John]

Yeah, Way to fill.

[Brady]

All right. Somebody. Somebody told me about this one. This is the band is Spirit World. This came out like three months ago, but I hadn't heard it. Western Stars in the apocalypse. But he wanted me to include it.

[John]

In the new releases. You owe this guy money or something? You wanted be a lot of money to play this? He said Spirit World was a must.

[Brady]

I said it's kind of a cross between Hate Breed and Slayer. So I was like, all right, I'll check it out. Cool riffs.

[John]

That sounds great. Do they have a singer or do I have to?

[Dick Toledo]

All right. You're the Slayer.

[John]

Yeah. Kind of. Good. This is my viking music for a minute. I like that.

[Brady]

All right. And Cradle of Filth. Malignant perfection. We're just going to skip it because it is crazy.

[Dick Toledo]

Who's always been this operatic?

[John]

I know.

[Brady]

I don't listen to a lot of critical.

[John]

Fool. The evil that has shaken loose the one is too.

[Dick Toledo]

You know how we go back to our era of 80s hair metal?

[John]

Sure.

[Dick Toledo]

Is there a period of time where these bands 25 years later you wax. Tell me about what it was like.

[Brett]

Snoo.

[John]

Stuff stinks compared to what I'm used to.

[Dick Toledo]

It has to be, right?

[Brady]

Snow Filth is not what they used to be.

[John]

It's not bad. It's just that voice. It makes me giggle. Musically it's good. That's a hilarious sound.

[Brady]

There's that Foxy Shazam.

[John]

They're back with their new one.

[Brady]

This is Animal Melody Opera.

[John]

Okay, we'll go with that.

[Brady]

There is an S bomb at the front. You'll hear it. You'll see the video come up.

[John]

Okay. Forgot about Foxy Shazam. They're singing about poop. Yeah. Wow. Foxy Shazam released a song about taking a poop shock.

[Dick Toledo]

They aren't any bigger than they are.

[John]

And the lead singer in the video is a poop. Like Mr. Hankey. Right.

[Brady]

I told you.

[John]

And now. That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

[Brady]

I told you when I said I was looking up terrible music.

[Dick Toledo]

Brett used to work for a record label. And someone greenlit that. Right?

[Brady]

Yeah, apparently.

[John]

Have you heard the new Foxy Shazam? Larry show.

[Dick Toledo]

Larry the.

[Brady]

I gotta pull it back up.

[John]

Hang on. Don't.

[Brady]

I already closed it.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh yeah.

[John]

Don't don't bother. No big deal. It's. You're not going to like this. What happened to them?

[Brady]

Remember that was the band that was touring with Slash.

[John]

Yeah, they were great. Yeah.

[Brady]

There you go. Oh, Larry needs headphones, though.

[Listener]

Now they've gone down the crapper.

[John]

Larry. Thanks, Johnny. Oh, Brady.

[Brady]

All right, get ready with yes, Mommy.

[John]

Let me get the. There you go. Larry catches on right away, whistling this in a hot style. That's enough of that. It's terrible and he's whistling it. What happened to Foxy Shazam? They were kind of fun. All right, next.

[Brady]

Pop Evil. Wishful thinking. Is the name of this one.

[Dick Toledo]

Coming to town?

[Listener]

Actually, I don't remember marquee of this one.

[John]

Yeah, I forgot back.

[Dick Toledo]

Give me a gift.

[John]

Oh, nice. Funny. Drinking out of pop, people. Twenty one pilots.

[Brady]

Hurry up.

[John]

That's not bad. Pop Evil sounds kind of cool. I like that one.

[Brady]

How about a little baby gorilla? And this is.

[John]

And red bone Glorilla. That's what I said.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, and I don't think you did.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

Okay. I ask, what am I doing here with this? Is this the game? Are we playing the game?

[Brady]

This ain't the game.

[John]

Oh, man. There's no way I'm going to get through this without beeping stuff.

[Dick Toledo]

There is no way.

[John]

Little baby Glorilla. They did not stop making bad when they made you. They're in the shower together. I'm gonna watch this video at home alone. I don't want to watch this with you guys. All right.

[Brady]

Oh, next one. Okay.

[John]

Yeah. No, I want to keep watching that video. There's a lot of people showering.

[Brady]

Bad Barbie.

[John]

Bad hobby.

[Brady]

This is OG Crash out.

[John]

She's got, like, cancer at the end. She's in a fight with the end. She's in a fight with Travis Barker daughter. They argue with each other, and then she went and got surgery on her face. And now she looks just like Travis Barker's daughter. That's not her. I don't think so. That's her. The one with a gigantic fake ass walking down the hall. This is a distraction, gentlemen. And that's supposed to be Alabama. Did I get beeped anyway?

[Brady]

I don't know, to be honest with you.

[John]

Just. Just in case. I don't want to hear any more bad behaving.

[Brady]

She's making an ass put in for.

[John]

Oh, she got an ass, all right. Huge. I don't think you can get through anything without her cussing, like, every third. All right, one more and we're done.

[Brady]

All right, then that'll bring us To N word or F word, the game that is sweeping the nation. This is Travis Scott and Playboy Cardi. This is Fiend.

[John]

Brady won last time.

[Listener]

I'll go F word.

[John]

All right, F word.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm going.

[John]

Kind N word, hard N word. Good luck, boys. Here we go. Freddie got a good an F word. Is the winner. Travis Scott. Pretty solid. Turn your swoosh around. There you go. All right. Damn it. Won that for a couple weeks, upsetting me. There you go. Those are your hot releases. Not a ton of pop. Evil sounded pretty good.

[Brady]

That was okay.

[John]

It might be something I go after.

[Brady]

That spirit world was interesting. Yeah, I'm gonna check that out.

[John]

Maybe it's good biking music. I felt like it was good, but I don't think I want a little baby.

[Brady]

And Glorilla.

[John]

I'm gonna watch that song. And everybody's emailing, say, nobody cares that Snow White's brown. They're mad that she trashed the original movie.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, she did?

[John]

I don't know.

[Dick Toledo]

I didn't hear that.

[John]

I watched something on TV the other day that was the exact opposite of that. They're like, why can't you just be a white woman? Like. Well, I think she might be. I don't know that she's that far off the. The Benjamin Moore color scale.

[Brady]

Well, she didn't come in looking like a cholita or something with a bandana on and everything.

[John]

Eyebrows look like Jack o'lanterns drawn way too high on her forehead. No, I sell the same thing. Cholita, snow. Cholita. There you go. Those are your hot releases. Brought to you by new AC unit dot com. Save thousands. Save time. Buy online New AC unit dot com.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[Brett]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Listener]

No membership fee.

[John]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Brett]

He's evil sitting right here.

[John]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude.

[Brett]

90.

[John]

Before we move on to the entertainment, Joe, I got an email. Brady. It says, does Brady know about the boss sauce competition at Foley Ranch?

[Listener]

I do not.

[John]

Well, it's happening. Evidently, Gabriel Verdugo has told you that. Some sort of sauce competition going. I don't even know where Foley Ranch is. Where's Foley? Foley Ranches.

[Listener]

The Matt Foley Ranch.

[John]

I don't think it's the Matt Foley Ranch. It's down by the river. I don't know where it is, but Foley Ranch is having a sauce company competition, and you should enter your giraffe juice or whatever that's. What are you calling that? It just fell out of my mouth. Well, not that I shouldn't say Boots.

[Brady]

And Barbecue is the name of.

[John]

Yeah, where is it?

[Brady]

Boots and Barbecue. That's our tagline. Oh, it's all country. Let's see here.

[John]

Last thing I need to see is country music fans drooling barbecue sauce all over themselves while they try to lift heavy things and tell me the ABCs.

[Brady]

21001 North Tatum, Scottsdale, I think. Or is that.

[Listener]

That's Desert Ridge.

[John]

Oh, it's in Desert Ridge. Okay. All right, well, that'll be nice. But the country music will ruin it. And bring in a whole gaggle of special ed people who like country music. I just can't deal if. Imagine an entire mall parking lot full of Dale Hella strays. Oh, sweet Jesus, run.

[Brady]

I'm out.

[Listener]

You'll win that with the ranch. Come on, Johnny Ranch Sauce will win that one.

[John]

Oh, yeah? Well, trust me.

[Listener]

Oh, good.

[John]

You know who's going to have the toughest day up there? The paramedics. Because they're going to be rescuing all the fat weirdos that I'm not doing a Morgan Wallen song. I'm so happy.

[Brady]

It's going to be a slow day. Texas Grill. They might as well just shut down for the day.

[John]

No, it won't. It'll be a slow.

[Listener]

No such thing.

[John]

Then once they're like, I got. I got a hankering for more, they're going to hit that place like a tornado. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail], the home of tactical black self defense training. I was in there yesterday doing all sorts of we again. I've been doing this, what, five years now? We're in a hallway drill. If somebody pulls a gun on you in a hallway, oh, my God. It changed everything. It changed everything. Instead of being in an open space, you're in this tight area and get a gun on your back and whatever. I'm like. So we did gun defense drills in a hallway and it was awesome. Like, you see, like this is. This totally is different than what I would have expected. And I got real good at this stuff.

[Listener]

Makes me think about that movie.

[John]

Which one?

[Listener]

The one. They had two of them.

[John]

You're not thinking too hard about it.

[Listener]

Never mind.

[John]

You don't have a name of the movie? No. You have to finish now. Makes me think of that movie you said. And then you have no details where.

[Listener]

They go up they have to go five stories up through the building.

[John]

All right, there you go.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John]

Think about that movie. Kind of had a little. That's what we're doing. But if you're in a. If you're in a wide open space, you do one thing in this hallway. I started to realize that you don't have the room to do it. You're fighting in a phone booth. It was awesome. And we had, you know, a good hour of me training there yesterday. That was just outstanding. Left there feeling awesome. And you can do the same thing. Price is right. Two months personal hands on training that could save your life. It's done it before. I read that email a couple weeks ago. It's unbelievable stuff. And it's 199 bucks. You're not getting that price anywhere else for what you're getting. A especially the specialized personal training they give you. Reactdefense.com. check it all out. Oh, and I forgot they've got all their seminars coming up too. You can look at that. They've got CCW1 that you can do. They have a. The plane is coming up. The women's seminar for all the. Everything they've got you can use for the future. And I think they have another one, a home invasion one that's pretty amazing. And you have a little house in there. They've got an airplane in there. They do it all. So they cover all the bases. Check it all out on their website, reactdefense.com it's the home tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Listener]

Here's some a list of organisms that have been named after celebrities. Some of us don't even know it. The scientists kind of do it because.

[John]

They find a new creature in the sea and call it George Clooney.

[Listener]

There's one called Gaga. Pretty simple. It's the name that was given to an entire genus. Genus of ferns that are gentle under fluid. There's gonna be some tongue twisters here. The next one, Philistada McGuirey.

[John]

Okay.

[Listener]

It was a type of spider named after the original big screen spider man, Toby Maguire. Oh, you got Opaluma rupaul.

[John]

I think that's named after rupaul.

[Listener]

A rainbow colored fly named after Rupaul Carcinna merchant tastes. Conan O'Brieny.

[John]

Oh, I like that one.

[Listener]

It's a type of worm that's long and pale and has slight tints of orange.

[Brady]

That's kind of funny.

[John]

They just got this one off the floor at Madison Square Garden. It's called Pimus Tracy Morganis. Good one.

[Listener]

Acro fatis. Jackie Chani.

[John]

You can kind of guess what they're naming it after. You know, kind of hidden.

[Brady]

They're really stretching here that.

[John]

Really, really hidden. It's like hiding it from a country music fan. It's like it's in plain sight.

[Listener]

You got the apostecus. Angelino Jolie. Nay.

[John]

These are just things floating around.

[Listener]

Venomous trapdoor spider. And then you have the Kono Bregman.

[John]

Brad Pitt actually name.

[Brady]

No kidding.

[John]

Yeah.

[Listener]

And then you got. The flip side is the Kono Bregma Brad Pitty. It's a parasitic. A wasp.

[John]

She named that one that was part of the divorce settlement.

[Listener]

Grow villainous. Leonardo DiCaprio.

[John]

We gotcha. That's enough. You're gonna hurt yourself. Put that down.

[Listener]

It's a water beetle.

[John]

Sometimes you just have to let it all out. Brady, throw it up. The reports of Tracy Morgan's nosebleed evidently were false. So he just threw up so hard he had to be wheeled out of. Of the arena. I'm never gonna have another Madison Square Garden hot dog again. Brett, I'm not taking your advice. Ever. I'll just eat with Brady.

[Listener]

Could have been as icy. Brady, look at the two of us.

[John]

We're sort of shaped exactly the same way. How come my stomach isn't as good as yours? I've seen you eat a shoe.

[Listener]

Zack Wild revealed an interesting detail about Ozzy Osbourne's final concert on July 5th in Birmingham, England. All the bands on the bill will be playing Black Sabbath songs.

[John]

So everybody, that list.

[Listener]

Metallica, Slayer, Pantera, Guns and Roses, Tool.

[John]

Let me ask you this. Does it say only Black Sabbath songs? Are they going to do their own thing and a Black Sabbath song? Because that's what I would assume. I don't want to see.

[Listener]

Yeah, I think they'll do a blend. I'm making a call.

[John]

Making it up.

[Brady]

Yeah. I would say they got to do one of theirs, right?

[John]

They have to do it, at least theirs.

[Listener]

And then going to hear.

[John]

It's like a tribute album. Here's Metallica coming out. They do, you know, one of the songs.

[Brady]

And then so many people on that bill. Do they have time to do that?

[John]

It's a good point.

[Brady]

Tons of people.

[Listener]

And they're not going to do a full set either.

[John]

No, no, no.

[Brady]

It'll be can't sing.

[John]

It's going to look a little like Tracy Morgan. Leaving me the six guys on wheelchairs throwing up all over themselves. And like, there they go. They're done. They. They're not doing anything.

[Listener]

The band Semisonic Is upset at the White House. Used closing time in a deportation video that he said.

[Brady]

Silk Sonic. I was getting excited.

[John]

Yeah. Brewer and Anderson are mad at the President. No, Brad, I wouldn't use them. That's too dark, too smooth. I'm doing deportation videos. I need a white band. Closing time. You don't have to stay here, or you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. That's the line. That's what I use. That's the one, Brett, right there. Yeah. I couldn't use that. Silk Sonic and. And have my point made. Leave the door open. Not going to do it. Closing the door on the Browns. That's just the way love goes. Loves train. All right, let's get out of here. Sean's in here for Larry. Sean Knight. The Sean Knight? That's right. The only one.

[Brady]

Limp Bizkit doing Black Sabbath songs, though. Or Fred Durst.

[John]

Just song. They're not gonna. They're not covering a bunch. They would just do one and then a couple of. It's gonna be like one of those shows when they have, like, 22 people from the 90s, like Vanilla Ice and Spinderella come out and do two or three songs. Biscuit do anything. I don't want to hear it. But Biscuit can do it.

[Brady]

Wolfgang Van Halen's gonna be doing it. I'd like to see him.

[John]

Everything he does, riffs as tributes. Phenomenal. I just don't want to make that trip.

[Brady]

No.

[John]

And then ELO, evidently, is going to do a show right after. A couple days later. And they're final. It's, like, crazy.

[Listener]

Supposedly saw the final one here in America.

[John]

Yeah, it's great. That's it. Sean Knight's coming up next. He'll be nice to you. Be nice to him. He'll give you all sorts of fun stuff. He's in for Larry today. That's it. We're done. We'll see you tomorrow in the morning sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[Brett]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[John]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this pd.