03-20-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: March 20, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Troy Hayden (Channel 12), Ron Capps, Dale Hellestra

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1. March Madness Mayhem: Brackets and Predictions

Holmberg's Morning Sickness kicked off Thursday morning with a lively discussion about the onset of March Madness. John Holmberg shared his humorous struggle with filling out his NCAA bracket, admitting, "I have no idea who I have" (01:14). His reliance on the computer-generated picks sparked a conversation about the randomness and difficulty of predicting outcomes in such a large tournament.

Brett Vesely highlighted the widespread participation, noting, "This year they say one in six Americans will do a bracket" (03:07). The team delved into the various strategies people use, from "team mascots" to sheer luck. John reflected on his minimal engagement with the games, humorously stating, "I've watched about 11 minutes of college basketball this year" (03:24), emphasizing the playful desperation of expecting a payout despite low involvement.

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2. Wild Post-Game Party: Encounters and Anecdotes

John recounted a memorable experience from a recent post-game celebration. He described the venue transforming into an "insane room" with unexpected wild behavior, stating, "Everything's fine... This room goes insane" (05:45). The evening was filled with quirky interactions, including a bizarre encounter where he offered tequila shots that inadvertently ended up with "pulley strings in my drink" (08:10). This led to playful banter among the crew about the surrealness of the night's events.

Brady Bogan reminisced about similar chaotic gatherings, comparing them to "Vegas-like" atmospheres with unexpected guests and antics. The team laughed over the antics, with John humorously warning, "if I'm eating that double western bacon cheeseburger and I don't have fries, it's not right" (25:03), highlighting the night's blend of humor and unpredictability.

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3. In-Depth with Troy Hayden: Execution Procedures and Perspectives

A significant portion of the episode featured an in-depth interview with Troy Hayden from Channel 12, focusing on the sensitive topic of capital punishment. Troy provided a meticulous account of witnessing an execution, detailing the somber environment and procedural precision.

At 10:01, Troy described entering the execution chamber:
"We walked right in. I saw the Attorney General, Chris Mays, and the County Attorney, Rachel Mitchell, sitting there."

He elaborated on the setup, mentioning the "closed circuit TV monitors" that provided overhead views of the table where the condemned would be strapped down. Troy observed the calm demeanor of the individual facing execution, noting, "He wasn't looking at us at all. He kept looking right up at the ceiling" (37:48). This portrayal highlighted the emotional weight and the procedural nature of the process.

The conversation also touched on the methods of execution, with Troy advocating for alternatives like the firing squad over lethal injection:
"Statistically, firing squad is the only method of execution that has never failed." (58:26). John expressed fascination and personal reflection on the execution process, while Brady interjected with concerns about the portrayal and potential biases in media coverage.

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4. The Last Meal: Carl’s Jr. as Execution Fare

The discussion gracefully transitioned to the concept of the "last meal," with John Holmberg sharing an interesting tidbit:
"Congratulations to Carl's Jr. Because his last meal was Carl's Jr." (25:00).

He detailed the significance of the meal, praising its "delicious tangy barbecue sauce," and humorously pondering whether Carl's Jr. was pleased with the coverage:
"Their whole deal is if you don't get any on you, you're not doing it right." (26:12). This segment juxtaposed the gravity of the execution process with light-hearted commentary on fast food culture.

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5. AI Influencers and Modern Oddities

The crew ventured into the realm of artificial intelligence, discussing the rise of AI-generated influencers and the ethical dilemmas they present. John mentioned,
"People are using AI to create influencers with Down syndrome who sell nudes," highlighting concerns about exploitation and authenticity (85:04).

They also explored humorous and bizarre AI interactions, with Brett Fesley and John Holmberg sharing stories about AI girlfriends exhibiting quirky behaviors, such as baking bread resembling themselves or challenging them with impossible tasks. This segment underscored the blend of fascination and discomfort surrounding AI advancements in personal and social contexts.

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6. Comedy Corner: Top Dumb Comedies

In a lighter segment, Brett Vesely presented a list of the top dumb comedies, sparking a debate among the hosts. They discussed classics like Duck Soup and contemporary films such as Bad Teacher and Step Brothers. John Holmberg expressed skepticism about the list's credibility, questioning the inclusion criteria with remarks like,
"How you calling that a dumb movie?" (170:02).

The conversation highlighted differing comedic tastes and the subjective nature of humor, with playful jabs at each other's preferences and experiences with the featured movies.

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7. On-Air Interactions and Personal Stories

Throughout the episode, the hosts interspersed their discussions with personal anecdotes and humorous exchanges. John Holmberg engaged in playful banter with guests, including Troy Hayden and Dale Hellestra, touching on everything from childhood misdemeanors to family dynamics.

One notable interaction involved Troy sharing his youthful escapades:
"When I was a junior in high school, we figured out that a saline solution could break electrical circuits," leading to a nostalgic recount of past mistakes and lessons learned (126:17).

These personal stories added depth to the conversation, balancing the more serious topics with relatable and entertaining content.

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Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg (01:14): "I have no idea who I have."
• Brett Vesely (03:07): "This year they say one in six Americans will do a bracket."
• John Holmberg (05:45): "This room goes insane."
• Troy Hayden (37:48): "He wasn't looking at us at all. He kept looking right up at the ceiling."
• John Holmberg (25:00): "Congratulations to Carl's Jr. Because his last meal was Carl's Jr."
• Troy Hayden (58:26): "Statistically, firing squad is the only method of execution that has never failed."

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offered a whirlwind tour through the highs and lows of March Madness, the solemnities of capital punishment, the quirks of AI influencers, and the humor found in flawed comedies. With a blend of serious discussions and lighthearted banter, the show provided listeners with both thought-provoking content and ample entertainment.

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Note: Advertisements and non-content segments have been excluded to focus on the core discussions and interactions.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady Bogan]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It's 5:45. It's the morning sickness. My name's John Holmberg. There's Brady Bogan. There's Brett Fesley. There's big Dick Toledo. We're off and running, ready to go for the penultimate day of the week. Thursday. Almost there. Getting close.

[Brett Fesley]

Opening of March Madness.

[John Holmberg]

That's right, the madness begins. The brackets are out. The I get. Oh, Doug Hobbs gonna kill me. He's got a bracket thing. He does get in there. Well, I'm in it, but I. Here's the thing. This year, my bracketology. I let the computer do it. There's a button on there, it says computer fill in. And I'm like, it's gonna do just as good as I will. I liked what it picked, but it doesn't fill out the final score, the tiebreaker. So Doug's harping on. I just remember when you said that Doug keeps going, you gotta fill out the tiebreaker. You gotta fill the tiebreaker. I keep forgetting. And he texted me three times last night, like, did you remember your milk money? Don't forget. It's like my mom in elementary school, don't forget your lunch buddy. And I'm like, all right, I forgot. So I still have to get my tiebreaker, but my bracket is in. I have no idea who I have. Don't ask. I have not. It's the season of called it. That starts today. Oh, I called that one. I called the 11. I called the 14 to win. I don't know the Computer does all the work for me. I don't even know who's. In the end, I just. I assume I'll be getting paid and everyone will hate me.

[Brady Bogan]

At least he called. And at least he text instead of called like he normally does.

[John Holmberg]

He does sometimes. Yeah. He sent me a message the other day just screaming at me that I know. Like I have the voice message. It is just. It's a cuss filled rant about how I never answer the phone. And I text him back and I said, I just spit up my drink laughing at your message because you know, I don't answer my phone. I don't understand. People talk on the phone, John. Like, I know. And it's just this rant and I'm dying laughing and I'm like, text me and tell me you're gonna call. I don't hear or pay. I don't. Am I the only one? I don't have a ringer. I turned it off a long time ago. I don't even know how to turn it back on. So my phone rings. I don't even know it's. It's ringing. And Doug also has an uncanny ability to know when I'm pooping. And every time I. Every time my ass hits the toilet seat, like some sort of weird Doug signal goes off and he gives me a call, but I gotta fill that up. But he did text me last night. Fill out your tiebreaker. He hates texting.

[Brett Fesley]

This year they say one in six Americans will do a bracket.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

And it's, it's always about how you. Where do you get your ideas for picks? You know, advice from friends, hunches, Guts.

[John Holmberg]

It's all guts.

[Brett Fesley]

Like 23%.

[John Holmberg]

You couldn't do it. As closely as I follow baseball, you're basically saying for the next two weeks, predict who's going to be, who's going to win games. Like, you just. You can't do 64 teams. You can't. 32 games in any sport, followed or otherwise. You're just, you're just playing.

[Brett Fesley]

Luck said one in 10 sometime make picks based on the team's mascot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If I give you one of their 14 games a day in baseball, pretty much thereabouts. If I gave you like the odds of, you know, you got to hit more than I do on this. And you're watching the Orioles and Tigers, you're like, I don't know who's going to win this game. I'll take a shot here. Tigers are at home. I don't know. Do something. Just your gut Tells you just go here. It's crapshoot. That's what makes it kind of fun. And then you got those people that just slave over it. They just stare at it for hours. Davidson did play Butler pretty well. Like, if you paid attention to that, you should feel sorry for yourself. That's the saddest life of all time. If you know anything about Davidson College in there, who. Exactly. I was watching, like, the one that I didn't understand. Like, some people have, like, a women's college bracket. And I was watching the other day, and I like Marist. I don't know. Is that a girls college? And like, something else like Hensley. And I'm watching, like, never heard of these two colleges. And it was a game to play. Like, the winner was going in. And I'm like, what? The first time I've ever heard of these colleges. And they're like, fill out your brackets on. Nope, I'm never doing that. That's the one that you. You should get your million dollars if you've ever. Like, that should be just a women's bracket. If you get the Final Four, it's almost always the top teams. But if you get to. Okay, if you get sweet 16 and you've. You've got 15 or 16, that's amazing. Yeah, you should get a million dollars. Because women's. Nobody follows any schools until now. And even then it's just because it's on. But, yeah, good luck. You get your brackets together and hopefully there's some cash in it for you. I've always. I used to be kind of like. I used to think it was, like, something I had to do. Now it's almost this. It shows up and I'm like, I should fill one out. It's only because it's more just habit. And I can tell you right now, I've watched about 11 minutes of college basketball this year. That's about it. I don't think I've watched a full. I don't. Can't remember if I did. I don't. I don't think I've watched a full half of basketball.

[Brett Fesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe.

[Brett Fesley]

Maybe the equivalent of a game. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not saying. Yeah. Yeah. All piled together.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah. Piled together.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I could take two minutes from each game, and maybe I've watched a whole game, and I don't think I've even done that. Maybe a quarter, maybe. But it was fun last night. The sun's got. I took. I went with Shane O'Grady from Life Changer Loan and good game. We had Fun. We're hanging out, doing our thing, and then went into the rah rah room for a drink afterwards. And Mark Asher, former. He used to do sports radio here in town. He's doing something else now. I met him and his wife, and they're lovely people. And then the next thing you know, it's kind of normal. Everything's fine. This room goes insane. Like, it was the weirdest, like, flood of humanity that the tequila started flowing. Everybody started losing. Like, this turned into, like, the craziest party on a Wednesday I've ever seen. And I'm sitting there talking to a guy. Here's him, here's. I'll never trust anybody who can't. I told Brett what. Can't answer the question. I was talking to this guy, and he says, he's. You know, I thought he was like a rapper or something. He had swag and all that. And he looks at me, he says, what are you doing, man? And I said, I'm in radio. And he goes, radio, man. I do music. I'm in music. I'm like, oh, yeah? What do you do? I'm a salesman. I'm like, oh, you work at a record store? I was just kidding. And he said, no, no, I'm in sales. And I'm like, oh, okay, that's not music. How do I trans? So I'm like, so, what do you sell? And he said. And he just stared at me for a second, and I'm like, I've asked this guy a question he just doesn't want to answer.

[Brady Bogan]

Was it Ed from downstairs? He sells music? Technically, he does, kind of.

[John Holmberg]

But then he said, stuff that makes.

[Brett Fesley]

You feel good when you listen to music.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I sell anything, man. I'm an entrepreneur. I don't know that. That's not what. That's not what that means. And now that's a third thing. So I just. I stopped because I realized if someone's not. If you can't answer, what do you do for a living? Quickly.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And like, with, like, you're up something, you know, I'm a salesman. Means everything in my pocket may or may not be allowed. And I'm like, I'm not going to ask any more questions. When I say, what do you do for a living? And you say, music. And then I ask, oh, yeah, what? And then the next word out of your mouth is sales. I'm like, oh, okay. Music sales. Is that related? No. And then. And then he said in the middle of it goes, I live in Verrado. I didn't Even ask you that. Okay. Like vera, the big music scene out in verrado. And he goes, I'm from Tennessee. None of these are questions. You're talking to somebody else. Like, are you hearing someone else? Do you have a bluetooth in. I don't see. And yeah, so I just stopped asking.

[Brett Fesley]

Tell them where you live.

[John Holmberg]

Super nice guy. So then later, when the tequila gets flowing, Kevin ray comes down from the game and we start talking and he's. So next thing you know, we're drinking tequila and we're hanging out, and that dude's standing next to me and the bartender's name is kefir. Hands me two and said, we just had to cut a guy off. It's getting weird in here. He goes, you want these two more shots? Tequila. I'm not really drinking a ton of them, but I'm involved. And I'm like, yeah, throw those on. So I turn around and I've got a hoodie on. And it's got its. The hood, the little. What are they? The pulley strings to tighten them up. No one ever uses to turn you into Kenny from south park. And I had him. And I'm like, okay. So I'm not paying attention. And I turn to brother verado and I said, hey, I got two shots from kiefer if you guys want to do it. And his friend goes, hey, man, what are you trying to pull? I'm like, nothing. You want these or not? And he goes, man, your pulley string is in my drink. I had the string from my. Thing was. I'm trying to offer what you wanted to call it.

[Brady Bogan]

Commercial or what?

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, but I started the laugh. Ye.

[Brady Bogan]

Chocolate's in my.

[John Holmberg]

Chocolate is in my peanut butter, brother. So I start laughing. I'm like, I didn't even know I did that. I said, now I have one. This one will put away. Oh, man, look over. A few seconds later, he's got it just. He drops the pulley string drink. And I'm like, he thought I was up to something, but it was kind of a rude thing to do to have half your clothes dipped in the beverage. You want this? Like, it got weird in there last night. There were these two 6 foot 5Amazon twin blonde girls that were wandering around in there in underwear. All right, well, that's what I'm saying. The suns games have turned into almost sort of like Vegas. Like there's a. There's a faction of people that are there. As I walked in last night, I looked over at some girl getting out of a car. They Were dressed like it was Halloween. It was like. It's kind of like tramp convention. I'm not complaining, but I remember at.

[Brett Fesley]

One point, I mean, it was a couple years ago, but they. They did that club up there and go to the game. They had a club, they had a DJ going. And there's a faction of people just dancing. The DJ not even paying attention.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody cares about the game. When you're in one of those things, it's more fun. Come on. The Raptors and the Bulls this week. You better give me something to do if I'm a season ticket holder. There better be some extracurricular activity going on, because the game is not going to be as fun out Fridays. The Cavaliers are going to pay attention to that. But it was weird. It's. Yeah, but I'm looking in these people. And it was after the game. The place is just flooding with people. Like, they went home and changed their clothes and came in. In club attire. And I'm like, it's Wednesday. And even the employees are like, what is going on in here? Like, I'm. Bryce is the manager. What's happening? He goes, I don't know. This got weird tonight. I'm like, real quick, spring break, maybe. But they're adults.

[Brett Fesley]

Adults don't get their spring break. They get their week.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. But it wasn't. If you're away from your kids and you're wearing underwear on a Wednesday, you hate your kids. You've been dying to do new stuff. If you go out in your underpants, just a bra that you made out of a T shirt. And top of her ass was out a good 3, 4 inches. And she was great. It looked great. It looked like AI came to life. And you said, don't wear clothes that fit. And they just showed up. And I'm like, you couldn't have gone to a sunscreen. You can't sit down in. Those clothes will just pop off. It was outstanding.

[Brady Bogan]

But it was a good view because a lot of times that's not the good view when the clothes are going to pop off.

[John Holmberg]

An excellent point. It's an excellent point. A lot of people that try to wear that stuff, the clothes are fighting back. The clothes are trying to get off. They're trying to run to another person. Yeah. They're trying to become a bedspread like they used to be before she tried to turn them into pants. But yeah, this was definitely different. And that was pleasurable to look at. But I'm sitting there with Kevin Ray, and he's even there. He's like, what is going on in here tonight? I don't know. Everybody went home. And then they got the memo I didn't get, which was, by the way, it's night if you want to come by.

[Brett Fesley]

Almost like the Grotto at Hefner's place.

[John Holmberg]

It's becoming very much. Yeah, it's the place Playboy Mansion without. And then there's a guy standing next to me. I'm like, these two couldn't have gone to the game. He goes, oh, yeah, that one on the right there. I bang her every couple weeks. Like, wait a minute. What? He goes, here you go. Breaks his phone out. He's got pictures. And I'm like, what is going on? And he said, yeah, that one on the right. It's. And then he said something about pricing. And I'm like, oh, I see what's going on here. I see what's going on.

[Brady Bogan]

Amazon chick.

[John Holmberg]

No, a girl with the Amazon chicks. Yeah. I'm not sure. The Amazon chicks were, I think, for a fee. And if you buy them kids clothes and evidently they go through the moon, it was nuts. But it got real crazy last night. I was. I was an observer. I like being the observer. Me and Kevin Ray. It was normal until after the game. Maybe it's Chicago. Maybe the connection back to Chicago. Chicago had a. I don't know, something the Bulls. But it was weird in every direction. It's one of those off nights where you're just like, this isn't a normal evening. You halfway expect a midget and a clown and somebody in a wheelchair and, like, all. Every faction represented. But I learned last night I don't trust anybody. When I ask them what they do for a living, like, I'm immediately thinking, I got to get away from this guy because the cops are going to raid this place. When you answer with three different things to one question, and none of them are specific.

[Brady Bogan]

Can we have a minute? Do Brady Report one day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. It was like, that's exactly what it was. But it was like trying to decipher a story from the Brady Report. And I'm like, wait, you said you did music. And then. And then we started to have, like, a normal music conversation. Like, oh, he does. But he, like, never gave me a specific answer on what he did. And I'm like, eh. And all I'm thinking is, there's, like, fentanyl somewhere. He's. Something bad is going on.

[Brady Bogan]

It's funny because a couple emails came in. Drug dealer.

[John Holmberg]

Drug dealer. Well, that's racist. But I couldn't do that.

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, no. Unnecessary.

[John Holmberg]

No, because I thought it. And then I said, don't be racist, because that's entrepreneur. Exactly. That's what I. I sell things and. Well, that's.

[Brett Fesley]

I wonder if he knew you're a very important man that you had dinner with in Vegas a couple years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Russell. Russell.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Russell.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Mm. Brady Russell is a different animal. You see, Russell answered the question. What do you sell? It's an interesting question, Justin. And my name's not Justin. Anyway, I don't care about anybody's name but my own. Mm. Here's what you need to know about me. I was offered $250,000 for my sperms. That's interesting here. Enjoying some taquitos with a stranger who's. I've never thought I'd hear that. 250 grand for his sperms. I think people would give me $250,000 to never do it again. Just leave those inside. You don't need to do this. That's amazing that you would ask that question. I find it fascinating, actually, that you would ask that question. Really? What do you do for a living? Fascination. Because the answer is quite fascinating. I sell my sperms to lucky ladies. And then he broke out pictures of himself. I'm like, you might have the. The most perfect physique I've ever seen in my life. I think I'm. May I buy some of your sperms? Mm. And I met your friend here, the beautiful Erica. She's a lovely lady. Yep. She's the casino hostess. Mm. She did not offer me $250,000 for my sperms, but I did offer her of free taste. Okay. All right. This is weird. The dude last night did not do that. That would have been an answer. What do you sell? My sperms. And I'm like, I've met a guy who does that. I mean, it would have been okay. He would have been. But it was strange. It was a very strange thing. And Sophie Cunningham was in there from the WNBA last night, and she's moving back to Indiana. And I didn't get a lot out of Sophie, but I was chatting with her and.

[Brett Fesley]

Does she have the fever?

[John Holmberg]

She's very happy about her opportunity because she's playing in a high profile thing with that Caitlin Clark, but she was. I'm not so sure Indiana's anybody's destination. So I think deep down she has. She's made it. So she's smart. Sophie's a sweet girl. She's very nice, but she's made it so Indiana being the final way. It's like having to live there is the punishment for having to play on a high profile situation, which is, I felt bad for it because I said, look, I'm from Indiana. I know this is. Nobody wants to go there. Like if you're here and they say, hey, we're moving. Anybody gets transferred to Indiana, it's a bad day, your boss comes in, all right, we're moving the headquarters to Evansville. You're like, oh, why? He's out cheaper. Oh no. And then you start thinking about bugs.

[Brett Fesley]

And got a great deal in Gary.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'll get a great deal up by the steel mill. You're gonna love it. Live by the Jackson's home. And then of course, on the weekends you can go over to the fake steamboat casino that sits on the water. It's beautiful in summertime. For two to five days a year, you can enjoy the Indiana dunes on Lake Michigan. I would rather not. Just. Why can't we just stay here? I'll take a pay cut. Nobody hears those words. And we don't. We take that for granted. Here in Arizona, the no bug thing. When the weather's good back in the middle Midwest, you can't still can't go outside without smelling like a factory of deet because you get eaten alive by everything that's enjoying the weather with you. And they're all bugs. I, you know, I know Brady doesn't like hearing it, but the Midwest sucks. Oh yeah. Ass compared to here. So I felt bad for Sophie when she was telling me that Indiana's her destination. And looking at her and I'm like, yeah, that does kind of suck. I would quit if I was you and just get into broadcasting. She'll be all right. But boy, Indiana. And we got people who listen in Indiana. They, they'll email me and they'll tell me, God, it sucks here. And most of the time, no, it's not in the fall, no, it's not. Indiana's not good to visit.

[Brett Fesley]

Oh, not Indiana.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett Fesley]

I go back, you know, like, like you're saying the summers, it's horrible, just.

[John Holmberg]

Bugs and the hot here. But you're fooling yourself thinking that going back there in the fall is better than this fall here. The fall here is better. Everything here is better than there.

[Brett Fesley]

Every time I'm visiting there, here I live, it's phenomenal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, you wouldn't want to live there. Again, there's the other problem. Yeah, visiting there is not a thing, people. There's no travel agent that says, have you been to beautiful Ohio yet? They don't have posters of Columbus on their walls. This is the big sell. Nobody wants to Columbus. Nobody wants to go back. You're going back because your family's there. And more than likely, yeah, you're going to go watch a football game. You're not going back to see the sights of Ohio. All you got to do is grab a weed eater and start working. It sucks there.

[Brady Bogan]

I always look at it as, like, would I want to live there again?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, permanently.

[John Holmberg]

Everyone who emails me that had to go back. Like, I have one guy who emails all the time and he's like, yeah, I'm living in Indiana now. He's in southern Indiana and Scott County, I think he said it's the meth capital of the world. More arrests for meth than anywhere else. It's like 10th year in a row. No kidding. And that's south. That's over by Ohio. Then Kentucky, kind of that region. I think it's called Scott Kenny. He's talking about, like, why do you live there? You were here? And he goes, well, I got a girl pregnant. He visited his family, knocked a girl up, and then like, in order to see the kid, he's got to live within, like, 25 miles of her. So he took a job out there. It's been a nightmare. The only. That's. I don't. Look, I don't love anybody that much to move to Indiana to see them. We have FaceTime now. Let's put the baby on FaceTime and get to know him that way. And then why can't she move here? Because she has a job that. You had to go find a job in meth capital Indiana. Yeah, I got no problem. Like, people talk about, like, the United States going into civil war and stuff. We could get rid of a few states and let them be their own countries. And Indiana would turn into Afghanistan in, like, eight hours. If it seceded, it would be like eight hours later. There'd be cave people and wars and that place stinks. Nothing. If you don't have a tourist attraction at all that someone can sell you a package for, I don't even consider you a state. Like, it's. You're not even like a real thing. You're just. You're Passover. Indiana has nothing. You can't name one thing. You'd be like, wow, gotta go to India before I die. I gotta see that. Name it.

[Brady Bogan]

500.

[John Holmberg]

I watch it on TV. I have to be there for that. And that's just one day I'm talking about, like, a thing that's in Indiana all the time. You have to see now, it's Sophie Cunningham. Other than that.

[Brady Bogan]

The Jackson home.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's it. I've seen it, by the way. It's smaller than this studio. Don't go, wow, it's horrible. And it is in a horrible spot. It's called Gary, Indiana. And just behind it is the steel mill. It'll choke you out. It's a worst city in the world. Yeah. Nope. Nothing.

[Brett Fesley]

Notre Dame football game.

[John Holmberg]

Nope. That's a. That's an event. That's not. That's not a tourist attraction. Right. Because there isn't any. It's all you can think of because you're trying to find an answer to the answer of, nope, nothing. Ohio's the same. There's nothing there at all outside of. They built. You know, Ohio got smart. I will give Ohio credit, because a long time ago, somebody looked around and went, what the. This place. This sucks. You know what we need to do to make money is, like, steal the Football hall of Fame and stuff and, like, put it here. Steal it? Yeah. No one. We had. No one would suspect it's here. Like, it shouldn't be. And they started to build the Football hall of Fame. So that's in Ohio.

[Brady Bogan]

They got the Rock and Roll hall of Fame there, too.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Because they realized the only way to get people here is to steal stuff that doesn't belong. They tried to tie it to a DJ that said rock and roll. We did it. That's ours. Mike, you didn't have anything to do with anything. It's as big. I got to give it to Kentucky. They don't even try. They admit that they suck. And they're like. And anybody who's ever been to the Kentucky Derby, I'm like, how was it? Like, greatest event ever. When you leave, you're in the worst, poorest place you've ever been. Like, the second you walk out of the Kentucky Churchill Downs, you're in some hellscape. It's just awful. It's trailers and houses made of ugly bedding.

[Brett Fesley]

Tickets.

[John Holmberg]

We don't.

[Brett Fesley]

We take for granted the insulation torn up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When there's beds outside, like, in your yard, and nobody seems to care or move them, and that's evidently right outside of church. My dad went. And he goes, churchill Downs, man. It's beautiful. I'm like, is it? I said, where do you stay? And he goes, oh, you want to stay anywhere near the place? I'm like, really? He goes, oh, it's horrible. It says Doug Hark. Everybody tells me it's smack dab in the middle of Maryvale, Kentucky. Yeah. Just a dump. And Kentucky doesn't even try. They just, you want to tour our bourbon factories and get drunk here in Kentucky. I'm like, I do. That sounds nice. Yeah. Gross. We have it made here. It's a beautiful place. And I'm sure I'll get a text from somebody going, you got bugs. We got the. Yeah, you can stomp out scorpions eventually. They're weird, but, you know, we're not. It's not perfect, but it's better than that place. Got the Grand Canyon. You got Sedona. Perfect weather all the time. This is so much better than back there. So talking to Sophie about that, I could see it in her eyes. Like, Indiana, huh? Like, she was trying to say, I'll make the most of it. But there's a reason she's not just packed up and living there.

[Brady Bogan]

She got traded, right? It wasn't signed.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't sign. Yeah, she got traded. And that's something that has to happen because no one would ever intentionally say, leaving here, going. Going to Indiana because that's where I need to be, like. And of course she doesn't want to be there. That's why I see her here still. And, you know, that's why she's just hanging around Phoenix until she has to go. I'm like, when do you go back? And she goes, a couple more weeks. I gotta. Am I gonna stay here the whole time? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love sunshine and happiness. And I'm like, oh, you should stay here. Yeah, I'll be back. I'll be back a lot. She's from Missouri. She knows and name that state appropriately. Misery. Yeah. Sometimes when people on TV are like, the United States is made. Like, there's a lot of it we could start calling pretty cruddy. Let's just point out the good spots, and we're one of them. So the guy that got killed yesterday, we're talking to Troy Hayden again because he got to watch that. And he said it was really efficient, the execution yesterday. But the great part about it was, and this was, congratulations to Carl's Jr. Because his last meal was Carl's Jr. I've never seen this before. The dude ordered up a delightful Carl's Jr full meal, double western bacon cheeseburger. And when he did it, I kind of got excited for that meal. It was. It was fantastic. Like, the idea of it was like, man, you've nailed the best Fast food final meal of all time. That's my favorite fast food sandwich.

[Brett Fesley]

The double western cheeseburger.

[John Holmberg]

The double western bacon cheeseburger. And he got a double western bacon cheeseburger with fries. Can't not have that. It's got that delicious tangy barbecue sauce and all. He got a Spyro Gyro and barbecue gyro. Those are lamb meat, right? A hero.

[Brady Bogan]

Most of the time it is. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

A hero. Onion rings came with that. Didn't have any last words. And he's just got a belly full of Carl's junior and that's how he wanted to go out.

[Brett Fesley]

33 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Remember Brady yesterday he wanted steak 44 with all the fixings. He got creme brulee, cream corn, everything had this dude. Just like double western bacon cheese. That'll do. And some fries. Kind of large. And do you get large? What happens if you're kind of full? Do you leave something?

[Brady Bogan]

Are you allowed to supersize that or whatever?

[John Holmberg]

You start packing it up for later or you're just like, no, I better finish that. That's a hell of an order right there. I'm.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the execution. You going to finish them fries?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. One dude just goes over reaches like you get that. One guy that doesn't is unafraid to touch your food. Just took one of my fris. My last meal. You. I wanted every one of those.

[Brady Bogan]

What are you going to do about it?

[John Holmberg]

What if it's the last meal and you get a fast food thing? You know, sometimes you go to McDonald's or something. You're like craving their fries and you get the bottom of the barrel fries.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's so disappointing to drive out of the drive through and you reach in and you can feel her kind of crunchy. They're not like.

[Brett Fesley]

Because you remember when you get the ones.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the fresh. Yeah, you want the fresh batch like one minute after they pour them, you're like, oh man, that's good. But you get to. They're starting to turn a little bit like ugly diarrhea brown. They're not quite right. First bite you're like, oh, they got a bad batch. That would be rough for your last meal. And how about the pressure on the kid of Carl's junior Did he know we need a double western bacon cheeseburger and we need it and they had to travel.

[Brady Bogan]

That's got to come back after.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? That's a tribute to Carl's Jr right there. Because they pump out the same thing no matter what. If it's your last meal. If it's your first meal. If it's just a meal, you're going to get a delicious Carl's Jr. Sandwich. But so that had to travel. Somebody had to go get that.

[Brett Fesley]

He got a cold, and it probably.

[John Holmberg]

Like, look at Brady's face right now. This is sad for him.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah. So sad.

[John Holmberg]

Cold. Yuck.

[Brady Bogan]

Poor guy.

[John Holmberg]

Poor guy.

[Brett Fesley]

Sorry, bro. Fries don't travel or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can't. You can't travel. Fries and Florence to the jail. Is there a Carl's Jr. Close? I don't. I don't go to Florence. I don't know.

[Brett Fesley]

I will be next week.

[John Holmberg]

What for? Oh, Kirby's got a tennis match, man.

[Brady Bogan]

She can drive now. I wouldn't go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why are you driving her?

[Brett Fesley]

Watch the match.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you don't want to see that. Yeah. Aaron's saying no man wants.

[Brett Fesley]

We're family.

[John Holmberg]

No. Yeah, Good. Yeah. And family would understand. You're doing something I don't want. She don't want to watch you golf. How come she doesn't tag along? Watch you golf?

[Brett Fesley]

Speaking of.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good question, isn't it?

[Brett Fesley]

Golfing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Yesterday, played at San Marcos. The Sheridan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Did you know Al Capone had a house there?

[John Holmberg]

I did not.

[Brett Fesley]

I didn't know.

[John Holmberg]

Not still, no.

[Brett Fesley]

But he bought the house. It's a big house on the. On the course.

[John Holmberg]

Who told you this?

[Brett Fesley]

The guy that was a member there played randomly. I had no idea. So Capone owned this house, and on the course, there's. Because I'm like, why they call the little hat the snack bar says Capone's hideaway. And he goes, well, this original building. When he bought the house, there's a tunnel that went from the house.

[John Holmberg]

Why wouldn't they keep that?

[Brett Fesley]

They evidently filled the tunnel.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brett Fesley]

That's what I said. I go. And then in the house, the people that own it right now, because the house was built by Dr. Chandler.

[John Holmberg]

Dr. Chandler. A.J. chandler? Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

And so I go. They at least keep the door in the basement or wherever that. You know, where the dirt was? I don't think so. But he goes, you know, after that hideaway thing, the tunnel, because every time the feds would come by or whatever, he would just go through the tunnel and out that little.

[John Holmberg]

Not the little. On the golf course.

[Brett Fesley]

On the golf course.

[John Holmberg]

So they just built a shack that he could pop in and out of.

[Brett Fesley]

He had. Yeah, it was a utility shack.

[John Holmberg]

And the feds would show up at his house, and they couldn't find an.

[Brett Fesley]

Escape, just like they had on those, you know, the homes in Cedar Lake, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, Cedar Lakes, where my uncle was. But they didn't have any tunnels.

[Brett Fesley]

They had some back doors and.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they were hiding spots.

[Brady Bogan]

There's tunnels from the San Marcos to the old train station, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the train station in Mesa.

[Brady Bogan]

No, the one in Chandler. Oh, it's right over. Just. Just off of it is.

[Brett Fesley]

And then I've been to that bar, you know, in the San Marcos, the. The ostrich, where it's just the red light on it, the side door to speak easy inside in the basement of it. And I thought the company basically did that thing said. Nope, that was a speaker.

[John Holmberg]

Kidding. This isn't just. There are tunnels.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Who knows this or there were. Why would we fill those in?

[Brett Fesley]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

I know they have no history over there in Chandler, and they. The one they do have. They filled it with dirt. Idiots. Re Dig those tunnels, for crying out loud. Now I want to know if we're being sold a bill of goods, because I know they do that.

[Brett Fesley]

You look at the house and the houses. Looks like it would be something in, you know, the shake shingle roof. And it was just old. Old school house.

[John Holmberg]

Still.

[Brady Bogan]

See, when we were talking the other day about, you know, the Italian tour and everything else, and somebody emailed saying the same thing about, you know, Capone having a house over at San Marcos. But then when I googled it, and again, it's the Internet, so who knows? But when you googled it, there was a lot of articles saying it's never been proven, but that's the rumor. But I don't.

[Brett Fesley]

I don't know, because that moo. I just remember that movie, that Tom Hardy, he played Capone. I don't know, like, he finished out the rest of his life, and I think it was like a beach. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Florida. Brett knows. And nobody saw that movie you might have seen. I don't know if that was. But again, it's just movies, so who knows? That's how northwest Indiana is, like, crazy. Everywhere you go, Capone or Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson. And like, everybody's got something around there that they were playing around with. Like, is that real? My uncle found a bunch of documents that he found out that the boathouse he owned Capone was part of way back in the day, but it was his. Where he hid stuff. They were constantly finding old paper, nothing important.

[Brett Fesley]

Elvis and Sedona.

[John Holmberg]

He was in Sedona. Oh, that's right. I was up at the house in Sedona. I've heard that.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no kidding.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I think that's a sales pitch.

[Brett Fesley]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

And even still, like, did he leave anything behind? Because if he didn't, who cares?

[Brady Bogan]

It's all sales pitches, like the haunted.

[John Holmberg]

Hotel and Jerome and all that stuff again. Go ruin your room and come back and say the ghost went crazy. And there's. They're going to admit it's not haunted. I can. I can prove everything about your haunted house in two seconds by trashing the place. And then I watch your face turn back and go, you did that, you jerk. And I'm like, I thought you said it was haunted. You know the ghost didn't do that. Okay, then you know there's no ghost.

[Brady Bogan]

So Casper's a friendly ghost.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't. You know, I tried to tell you that at the. The Del Coronado. Every once in a while, Kate Morgan will knock on your door, maybe even open it. I'm like, oh, so she gets a little violent sometimes. Sometimes she tries to scare you. So. All right, well, if anything gets trashed in that room, she did it. Well, no, no, that's not. They immediately changed their tune, like, well, don't wreck anything, because the horse I'm feeding you is just that. I mean, let's not. Let's not cost us any money. The ghost isn't real.

[Brady Bogan]

We just got a report that the closest Carl's junior To Florence is in Apache Junction on Idaho in the 60s, so.

[John Holmberg]

Bastard.

[Brady Bogan]

Them fries are terrible.

[John Holmberg]

Soggy fries. It. You can't. What a weird thing. We'll talk to Troy Hayden a little bit. I'm gonna ask him about the last meal and if he has to witness that or, like, where that happened. Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Do they watch that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Does he get a double Western bacon cheeseburger?

[John Holmberg]

A fly I buy kind of situation. If I was hitting, I'd be like, hey, where are you going to hit? I'll buy it. Get me one of them double Western bacon cheeseburgers. That barbecue sauce is fantastic. You know what? I'm kind of hankering for a shake, too. Let's get a. What do you guys want? A shake? 10 fries. It's gonna take forever. Look, we got till 10. This guy's got all.

[Brady Bogan]

See, a couple minutes later, he'll be there.

[John Holmberg]

He ain't going anywhere. Trust me. Last meal is Carl's Jr good for you, Carl's Jr because the second I read it, I'm like, man, that sounds good.

[Brady Bogan]

Actually does sound good. They opened this early?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't even know where one is, there's one in Guadalupe. Evidently one in Apache Junction. I don't know where we have them here. That sounds good. Every time I drove to Los Angeles, I couldn't get through Blythe, California without hitting the. They have a Carl's Jr. Man, oh, man. Something about that one was excellent. Double West. Oh, that does sound good. First thing in the morning, let's get a wake up song. While we're thinking about our first meal, that guy's last meal will be our first meal of the day. You give us a wake up song, call us up. 585-9800. That is the number. You tell us what you want to hear, we'll scream it together. It's 98. KUPD. Wake up.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett Fesley]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this UPT morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Chad Daniels]

He's evil.

[John Holmberg]

Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. There he is. That is a Miles to Nowhere. Thank you. That's the theme song. I had people talking to me about that last night. Mark Asher evidently listens quite a bit. And he said, man, that song you got those girls singing in the morning, because that's catchy. I might have to go see them. I'm like, they're a blast. Miles to nowhere. So much fun. And then he. And then he said, who does the Katie Hobbs voice? And we go, that's Katie. She pops in every once in a while. Loves Brad. That's. Katie's always here. We were talking about the execution and stuff. I talked to Troy Hayden from Channel 12 yesterday. He's back on the phone to give us a little more insight now that it's over. Mr. Hayden, are you there?

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

Morning, guys.

[John Holmberg]

How are you? What's up? How are you? You're up this early every day? Didn't you stop doing mornings for a reason?

[Chad Daniels]

You know what, though? I'm not doing nights nights anymore, which is nice. Well, I'm home at about 7:30, have dinner and. Yeah, hit the sack. Early to bed, early to rise.

[John Holmberg]

When do you go in?

[Chad Daniels]

I go in. Well, I attend a morning meeting remotely at 9:30 and then jump in the shower and I'm in. Probably like noon. 10:30. Noon, noon, which is nice. And I do a fourth 4pm Show, 5pm show, and do a report for the 6pm show, and then I head home.

[John Holmberg]

There we go. Well, that's perfect. That's, that's. Well, you've earned it, Troy. You've done this long enough that you.

[Brett Fesley]

Can go on Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I feel like I, I've earned it. And they keep making me get up at 4 in the morning. Goddamn travesty.

[Chad Daniels]

Because you're a big star. That's where you want to be in radio. I know that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you don't. After 20 something years, you're like, I want to, I want to sleep in. I want my morning show to start around noon. I want the Hayden schedule. Damn it. Yesterday, maybe. Yesterday you had your, you had the execution. You saw your fifth one. I saw just a quick report of you saying it was the most efficient that you've witnessed and maybe in the history of what we've done. Tell me about your day yesterday.

[Chad Daniels]

Okay, well, I don't know how much detail you want me to get into, but, you know, yeah, this, this administration of Department of Corrections, I feel like they really know what they're doing. And yeah, I've seen five of them. This one went like clockwork. You know, we got called in about five minutes before the execution. So at 9:55. And it's an eerie thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

Walking into that execution chamber because it's only about 10 by 15. It's like the size of a kid's bedroom. I mean, think about that. It's tiny. Yeah. So.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait, the whole room, including where.

[Brett Fesley]

You guys sit or that's a room where you sit.

[Chad Daniels]

Where we sit is 10 by 15.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

So you walk in, there's three rows of benches. So we walked right in. I looked to my right and I, I saw the Attorney General, Chris Mays, and the County Attorney, Rachel Mitchell. They were the first two in there. And they were sitting in the back row of the first row of benches. And then we walked all the way to the third row of benches and I wasn't sitting in the second row. So about maybe four or five feet from my knees is a window that goes the length of the room. So it's lengthwise, you sit in this room and behind that are black curtains. And the black curtains are closed. So we sit down, we look up above the curtains in the window and there are three closed circuit TV monitors. Two of them are overviews, overhead views of the table that he's going to be strapped down on. And so you can see kind of a long rectangular table with two kind of places where his arms will be. You know what I'm saying? Like two arm pieces of table. And then the middle one, which is really eerie, are eight syringes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. And they're laid out.

[Chad Daniels]

You can see the syringes. Yeah, they're laid out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wow.

[Chad Daniels]

And you can see there's, like, little, I guess, like, valves on the end of each one that they'll turn before they hit the plunger. So that's where we were, and we were ready to go. And right at about 10:01, just from the monitors, we saw Aaron Gunch, is the condemned, walk in. He was wearing a white jumpsuit, white socks, and he climbed up on that table and laid down, you know, without a struggle at all. There were five people around him from the Department of Corrections. One guy kind of grabbed his head and, you know, positioned it. And then there was one person on each extremity, one. One on each arm and leg. And they strapped him down, put a blanket over him, and walked out. And at that point, I remember, because there's a little bit of a delay, and I remember looking at him. He wasn't looking at us at all. He kept looking right up at the ceiling.

[John Holmberg]

The.

[Chad Daniels]

The sister of Ted Price, his victim, was there, and she was intently watching him. So the whole thing is very intense.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

As you can imagine. And he looked up at the ceiling, and I remember thinking to myself, what is going through his mind right now?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you know, I'm blown away by that, because it's the thing where I. Again, you've seen a few of these. Has anyone, like, shown complete panic every time they show this stuff? Like, they never show the execution, but they talk about on tv, nobody ever seems to be, like, screaming, no, no, no, no, no. Or like, their brain seems to have been so accepting of it all that you just have to. Yeah. What are you thinking? It would be interesting to talk to.

[Brett Fesley]

Someone right then look at Troy Hayden, or not.

[John Holmberg]

Or seen him. Sometimes they'll acknowledge someone in the room. Right. I've heard in the past, yeah, they've gone, oh, hey, there's that guy from blah, blah, blah. But this guy, just the last one.

[Chad Daniels]

I was at, it was even worse. It was Clarence Dixon. And the victim's sister was sitting there, a woman named Leslie, who I've gotten to know a little bit. And he looked over at her and said, huh, I'm going to see Dina soon. Oh, yeah, it's all gonna be great. Oh, yeah, he's talking crap to her. Because you can hear him now. They have a microphone. You can hear him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. And so, yeah, because John Wayne Gacy's Last words were kiss my ass. And he looked out at the people witnessing, said that. So sometimes. So you. You don't know at all sitting in there what's gonna happen. Like, there has to be, like, what's going through your mind? Like, you're like, okay, what do I expect here? Having known the story or a little bit. I mean, was it a little surprising that he was so subdued?

[Chad Daniels]

You know, they give them the option, or had in the past. Doc did not comment on this. This time of having a mild sedative. He appeared to me to be under the influence of some sort of a sedative. He was. His eyes were blinking super fast. His mouth was cottony. You could tell, like he was, you know. You know how you have cotton mouth. And I have a feeling that that was, you know, that he may have been, you know, sedated a bit.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, yeah, that would make sense to me. And I mean, if they give you that anxiety. Yeah, you certainly, certainly want that. I mean, I took Valium before an eye surgery just in, you know, I'm not going into, you know, my execution. If they offered me some stuff that's going to call me, I'll do it. But it's so strange because they never, like, flip out or fight back or anything. I mean, you have nothing to lose there. Take a swing, do something. And no one ever does.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, it's a good point.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. You know, the weird thing is, so the entire Florence prison complex is shut down. This is the original Florence State Prison is actually built by convicts back in, like, the early 1900s, but it got all outdated. So the only building in this entire complex still being used is the death house. So when we drove in there, all the gates are open because there's no print. There's nobody in there. You just drive in. It's an empty prison. And it's this, this little tiny house at the very back of the original Florence prison with probably a 50 or 60 foot smokestack coming out of it, like a little stove pipe smokestack, because that's where they used to vent the gas from the lethal injection and the gas chambers right behind you.

[John Holmberg]

God, that's so weird. Yeah. I find this whole thing fascinating, even though I'm totally fine with the death penalty. When it comes down to it, like the protocol of witnesses and family members and all that other stuff, I'm always shocked that it's very rarely eventful outside of maybe a few terse words or something. It's very rarely like, wow, what an event. That one. That you went to 10 years ago that didn't work very well is probably the only one that was messy. And it wasn't because the, you know, the condemned said anything or did anything crazy. It was just a botched deal. I. It's fascinating. So, yeah, you've. You've seen. When you were younger, Troy, did you get into the news because you thought you had a stomach for the strange? Because when you and I talked a while ago, you told me, you know, bodies and canals. You've. You've seen some stuff.

[Chad Daniels]

I recovered a body out of the canal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

You know, I'm not sure what it is. I've just. I've always had a natural curiosity. Yeah, I was the weird kid who read the Book of Lists and the Guinness Book of World Records and literally, encyclopedias when I was a kid. I just love learning. And so I found that if I wanted to learn every day and make a decent living, because, you know, you can do okay in this business, that. That's where I went. I started off in newspapers, actually. I started off working construction and things. I did all kinds of jobs, really. And then, you know, started off the newspapers and then transitioned into televisions. But, yeah, to me, it's like, I love the fact that I go to work every day and I learn something every single day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm not gonna let you get away with starting a conversation. Fished a body out of a canal once and then told me you did construction start over. What do you mean you fished a body out of a canal? So is this for work or what are we doing? Yeah, you jumped right over that. That's the strangest. I fished body out of a canal once. You guys want to go grab some food? I'm like, no, we.

[Brett Fesley]

That's what I knew I wanted to do.

[John Holmberg]

News. We're going back to that. First thing you get the call to help fish a body out.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, I. I started working. So the way my business works, to give away kind of pull the curtain back, is you kind of have to dip your toe into different agencies and then yourself up. Up to, you know, big stories. So I started working with Maricopa County Sheriff's office. This is years and years ago, and I wanted to do some of their underwater type stories. Recovery, searching, all those different things. So I ended up hooking up with the lake patrol because they're the people who are out on the lakes and they dive the salt river and all those things and got certified to dive and went on a couple of training missions with them and continued to build up and build up to the point where they said, we think you're ready. You're full face mask certified. You can come along with cameras the next time we go to recover somebody. Because I always thought that was fascinating, to dive down and recover somebody who's drowned.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Chad Daniels]

I mean, you're diving in water, wanted.

[Brett Fesley]

A bloated body to pull up and just couldn't identify that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that is. I'm with you, though. If somebody trained me, I'd be all over this.

[Chad Daniels]

Isn't that fascinating? So, you know, after working with them for, you know, several months, maybe even a year, it was a Saturday afternoon, and I got a phone call from the head of the dive team, and he said, hey, we've got somebody. They're in a canal down by Picacho Peak. And it was basically people who were coming up into the US Illegally. And they got stopped by DPS and they ran out into the desert. And when I got there, I walked out to the canal, and you could clearly see three sets of tracks going into the canal on one side, but only two sets of tracks going out on the other side. So the third guy didn't make it. And he was about 150 yards down the canal. He had. He didn't make it. So I don't know how detailed I should get. Should I tell you everything?

[John Holmberg]

Keep going? Yeah. Get dirty, make stuff up.

[Chad Daniels]

So. So you've got to be, you know, they're very careful. These canals are very dangerous, obviously, you know, and there's more current than you expect. So you have to go through all these different safety protocols where you've got a whole team on the other side of the body. Down, down. In case anything happens, they can fish you out. Right, right. And then you've got a team at the top of the canal. And so you're all tethered and you're working together. So the guy says to me, all right, you want the head of the feet? Because you have to grab. Somebody has to grab a wrist and somebody has to grab an ankle. And I said, okay, I'll. I'll take the wrist. He's like, okay, good. So we get in the water, we go down. The visibility was pretty good, which is, you know, sometimes these guys search literally with their eyes closed because the visibility so bad. They just search with their hands, which fascinated me as well, but I could see. So we get down to the guy. They had slowed down the flow of the canal for us, which they can do. So it wasn't super treacherous. And there was a guy he was a young Hispanic guy. I could tell he was face down in the canal. He had panicked and kicked off all of his clothes. All he was wearing was a pair of underwear. I remember that. And they were red. And he was face down in, like, the mud of the canal. So I'm like, okay, this is very intense. I go up, I grab his wrist and. Right. And I thought to myself, I just don't want to see his face. And right at that moment, I don't know what happened, but there was a jerk or something and he spun over and his face ended up like 3 inches off my nose and it was covered in silt.

[John Holmberg]

You're tree hated.

[Chad Daniels]

And he looked like. Yeah, he looked just strained, and he did not have a good time going. You know what I'm saying? It was frozen on his face. And I can still, like, right now as I'm telling you that story, I.

[John Holmberg]

Can see his face. Yeah. And do you. Oh, my gosh. So when. When you. When you got close to that, did you have a moment? Like, I don't want to do this anymore.

[Chad Daniels]

Every single one of my edgy stories, I get a flash in my stomach and however you want to, like, what the hell am I doing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know? Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

But then when you're done, you're like, I'm really glad I did it. And now I know. See? And you're like, why'd you even do that? Well, first of all, it's interesting to go through it, but now every single time that I cover a story on a body recovery, I know exactly what they're doing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

And so I can tell the viewers, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

I can say, okay, here's the first thing they're going to do. Here's the second thing they're going to do. And this is. This is challenging because of these conditions, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you can relay that easier because. Yeah, you've been through it. So it's like using a product.

[Chad Daniels]

You can't.

[John Holmberg]

You can't pitch it until you've used it. That's insane. So will you do more of the execution? I. Do you know what you got me thinking yesterday when you said how important it is that the witnesses and things like that are there. And I always wonder why so many media members. And I guess that's because if. I mean, I'm going to guess. You tell me. It's because you can't have a bias if there's multiple reporters. Right. Like, somebody could go in there with a thought about this and think, I hope it hurts. I'm not going to say if it does. She had three or four people from different news outlets. Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

It was five yesterday. And I did have. You know, there's one. One of them. And I don't want to call them out, but, you know, they reported something in front of everybody that I didn't think was correct.

[John Holmberg]

It was a blonde lady. I watched you correct her. Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

Was that her, though? I guess There was two then.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was the one from channel 15.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

And somebody. You know, the thing is, I. Sometimes I do these things. I don't remember what happened. I know what I even corrected her on. But the other person said, yeah, there were people on the. Instead of having the executions in the past, I've seen. Yeah, they put in an IV in an arm and an IV in a leg. And this one, they didn't. They put in two IVs in an IV in each arm.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Chad Daniels]

And so one of the. The witnesses said. Said, yeah, they were having trouble putting in the IV in the left arm. And I said, I didn't see that. I mean, there was no problem. I don't even know what you're talking about. There was two people on the left arm, but there's never a problem. It went in as fast as if you go in and give blood.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

I don't know. Sometimes I think they're just looking for stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Was that her first time watching, do you know? Okay. So there. Yeah. So she's probably. You're right. Yeah. She's probably, like, assuming it's her job to find something wrong or say she saw something because then she wouldn't be doing her job. But, like, what you said little bits of things when you were, like, it was as smooth as it can get. Like, that's another reason why I think what you said yesterday was kind of important. Like, look, I've seen a few of these things. I've seen it go bad. I've seen it go average, and I've seen it go really well. This is as good as it gets. Don't look for things that aren't there. Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

And it's not my job to tell the viewers whether or not capital punishment is right or wrong. You know, that that's where we get into trouble. And I see a few different people. Not a lot, but local news. There's no room in local news for political or ideological bias. We need to be straight down the middle. And I work hard every day to be fair and accurate. I tell all reporters, anchors, everybody, if you're fair, and accurate. Your viewers will respect that. They can make up their own minds about things.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And that's, that's what I've known about you for a long time because I've known you personally and you're basically Kanye west. Off the air, I mean, you're nuts.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But on the air, no, it's, it's, it's very true.

[Chad Daniels]

You know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know, I'm not your swastika shirts always throw me. I don't know how you get away with it. But the, the crazy thing is, is like Walter Cronkite was a globalist and nobody knew it. Nobody knew like his, his worldview was very skewed to like if you were to sit and talk to him about things, he was evidently. And I don't know that this is like third hand information. He had some political views that were a little bit askew from normal, but you would never know it. And that's what, that's why he's got a school named after him is because the dude was absolutely just information first based on his experience with it. And I think that's like. You're so right. Local news has tried so hard for a ratings chase that we don't want just information. We want a spin. And so it is kind of refreshing. When I watched yesterday at the. I only caught a few minutes of it, but you stood up and said, nope, that. That isn't exactly what happened. That's your. And you. You were very pleasant about it. And I took it as she's saying something to say I saw something that was there, like to. To make sure that everybody knew there was something extra. Like she, like it was her first time. And I think her job in her brain was I'm supposed to notice if something goes wrong. So I looked for extra things like even little twitches and stuff that may have not been normal to her, but are completely normal. This situation. So it is important to have like four or five people watching.

[Brett Fesley]

It's like a restaurant review.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, it's. Four or five people have to see it. I figured. I. It is. Well, Brady will always bring it back to that. Yeah. It is exact exactly a restaurant. It's like, check, please.

[Brett Fesley]

I wasn't greeted at the door.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's. Check, please. Arizona on pbs.

[Chad Daniels]

But five star execution. I can say that.

[John Holmberg]

So yesterday. Yeah, it's. It's. It's going on Yelp pretty high. Yeah. It's fascinating and good. And thank you for being the person who does that. I think it's kind of Amazing. Now the family members and stuff that were at the execution yesterday, you get to talk to them or is it kind of hands off? Is it real quiet afterwards or.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, they keep you away from them on elect on execution day. But I will say that Karen Price is the sister's name. So there's an attorney, attorney named Colleen and I forget what her last name is, but she's kind of a victims advocate. So I was able to get in touch through her with Karen before she came out here. She lives on the east coast and, and you know. And that's it. I don't know if you saw the whole news conference yesterday, but I started off by saying there's going to be a lot of talk about this execution era. Gunches. But we all have to keep this victim Ted Price in mind because Karen told me that there's a hole in their family that opened up in 2002 when her big brother was murdered that is not filled, hasn't been filled since and it will never be filled and it wasn't filled yesterday, you know what I'm saying? But at least the legal process is over. You know, I talked with another woman who saw an execution that I attended and I asked her to give you closure. She said, no, it's never, I'm never going to get closure because my sister's gone and her 21 year old sister was murdered. She said, but the legal process is over. She says I'm no longer waiting for a letter in the mailbox saying there's a new hearing or there's some technicality has come up. She said, I know it's, it's over. And that's, that's what Karen said yesterday as well.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's got to be there.

[Chad Daniels]

Through no fault of their own.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The only closure comes from the idea that you just never have to deal with this person being alive for another day and infecting your world and open up those wounds every time they do something and you. Yeah, like court case or hearing or something, they say or something gets out or a lawyer's calling, that's over. And that's the only clue because they're gonna live with the pain forever. Is there ever an advocate in the room? Is there equal sides represented in the room of witnesses where somebody who's against the death penalties there?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, the gentleman sitting directly in front of me yesterday is a guy named Dale Bash who is very well known in town and you know, he's kind of a watchdog over the whole process. I think he was a federal Defense attorney for a while, but, you know, at this point, it's the law. And that's what I say to people. If you're anti death penalty, totally valid for you to be anti death penalty, but don't take it out on Department of corrections or police. Talk to your legislator.

[John Holmberg]

You know, make the call.

[Chad Daniels]

Get a bunch of your neighbors together. Yeah. Try to change the law. It's still about 53, 47 in favor of capital punishment in Arizona, but that's close.

[John Holmberg]

It is close. And do you think that his is. His perspective is skewed and, like, he's almost hoping it goes wrong?

[Chad Daniels]

I don't want to get into his head, but I can say there have been enough problems with the process over the years here in Arizona that if you're even leaning, I can see where you'd say, look, we need to do a better job. Here's the biggest problem I have with death penalty. It does get kind of random. I mean, almost every one of these murders, you can say there's an aggravating factor. I'm going for the death penalty. And a lot of it comes down as to whether or not you can afford it. If you go to smaller counties, they can't afford a capital case. It costs exponentially more than a regular case.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

You know, so, like, there was an awful murder in Lake Havasu where little kids were killed, and they're not going after the death penalty because they can't afford to prosecute it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because it's not just one trial either. You're setting yourself up for at least two, maybe three. But it has cost a fortune to get that done. Yeah. I never even saw it, like, a smaller place. It's such a expensive. It's like Mars to me. It just. To me, I just don't understand, like, any of the. Like, what causes it than the court case. But I'm fascinated by all of it. I just feel, like, too stupid half the time to understand what's going on.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, God. You're one of the smartest guys I know.

[John Holmberg]

I know. I beta Jay. You said it, but thank you. You're wrong, but. And that's sad for the people.

[Chad Daniels]

Even though you never hang out with me, never go bike ride. It'll be 110 degrees before we go bike riding.

[John Holmberg]

That's when I ride my bike. Troy, you got to come with. You didn't have a helmet last time. He's insane, this guy.

[Brett Fesley]

You needed to hydrate last time.

[John Holmberg]

And then we just rode around and we hydrated afterwards, we did A pretty good. Well, Troy, thank you for your time. Man, I literally just sit back and listen to you talk about this all day because it is from a perspective of somebody who gets, like, how to deliver information and that's kind of lost in this world, so. Consummate professional.

[Chad Daniels]

Thanks, buddy.

[John Holmberg]

Excellent job. And, man, oh, man, it's just. It's a world I don't understand, but I'm glad there's people like you who do it. Thanks, man.

[Chad Daniels]

Can I put a bow on it really quick and just finish it up?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Chad Daniels]

So, you know, one of the reasons I think it's so smooth is they got those IVs in in no time at all. And within I would say, five, you know. Okay, so they've got the IVs in, and then on that video screen, we saw them push one plunger. And we understand now that's a saline solution just kind of like, you know, getting things moving in the iv. Then they hit the green one. And within probably two minutes of that green one going in, we saw him wince a little bit. Like, sometimes when you get an injection, it's a little painful. That's what it looked like. Burns. And then the color drained from his face and he stopped breathing. I had him down within four minutes. So it, like I said, it was. It was very fast.

[John Holmberg]

How come it takes so long? Like four minutes seems like a long time. What? I, you know, I've had a lot of animals I've euthanized, and it's like.

[Brett Fesley]

It's like they go like in 30 seconds.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, they said, yeah, but they have a spinal scope on. And then the. The doctor always goes, okay, she's gone. And it, yeah, it doesn't seem like it's that like. And yeah, yesterday I was like, wow, that's like. That's what they're calling fast. Like they called it in like 13 minutes or something like that. Officially, yeah, the number that seems long to me.

[Chad Daniels]

Well, you know, because from what I understand, pets, when you put your pets down, you're still able to use the really effective drugs that we can no longer use in human executions. Remember I told you about anti Death penalty forces have been very effective at pressuring drug companies not to sell the departments of corrections, you know, so now they're using different drugs that just aren't as fast. The first execution I saw was.

[John Holmberg]

Was.

[Chad Daniels]

Was very fast. It was in one probably like two minutes when everything's done. But, you know, it's just in my estimation of four minutes, like, his breathing did slow down for sure. But the time I for sure never saw his chest move again and saw the color go out of his face was probably. Yeah, three to four minutes. I'd have to look at my notes again, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, okay. I'm not done with you. As a, As a person who's seen this stuff, do you think that there's a better way? Do you think that, like, having seen some things and heard some others from other witnesses and stuff, is there a more humane, although still probably pretty violent way to do this?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah, I mean, you know, there's a bill in the. In the legislature right now that if it passes out and looks like it might, that we will get to vote as voters here in Arizona, decide whether or not we want firing squad back in. And firing squad, by the way, statistically, is the only method of execution that has never failed.

[John Holmberg]

Failed.

[Chad Daniels]

Every other one has failed.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Chad Daniels]

So, yeah, So, I mean, that may come back. And, you know, we saw nitrogen. I've never seen a nitrogen execution, but that's kind of like gas where there's gasping and, you know, so. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's all the same. Like you said yesterday. It's like, you know, the end result is the end result, but. Yeah. Would you go to a firing squad one?

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah. No, I think it's like I said, and this is not something that I enjoy doing.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Chad Daniels]

But I think it's important for me to be there. Yeah, absolutely. I think. I think I would try as hard as I could to get to the first firing squad.

[John Holmberg]

Me, too.

[Chad Daniels]

Just to report and. And again, have perspective on. Here's how it's different from what I've seen before, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you need to get a buddy pass for that one. I'm coming with for that one because I just, I, I, that's just archaic to me, but I, you know, I think it's the. And honestly, if that's the end result, that's the one that I think is the most humane.

[Brett Fesley]

And you said the, the setup is the same on that. There's multiple guns. You don't know where.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Yeah. They have seven. They used to. In Utah, they used to have seven. And I think two live rounds and nobody knew who had the live.

[Brady Bogan]

Everybody else are blanks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. Troy, this is amazing. So keep doing what you're doing. Are you happy at channel 12? Are we gonna see him moving around again?

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, I love it. You know, my old place, I had such a good time there. I was there 30 years. Have you been. Have you been there 30 years yet?

[John Holmberg]

You got to be close 24 here. Yeah, pretty. Almost 30.

[Chad Daniels]

So, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[Chad Daniels]

So you love kupd? It's been really good to you. It was the same thing with me at my old place. But, you know, I had done the morning show over there for eight years. And that morning show, you've watched it, you know, you open up coffee shops, you do a little bit of news, but it's mostly like fun and hosting and that whole thing. And I wanted to get back to this. So, you know, my. My Boss at channel 12 is. This was my boss when I worked Nightside at Fox 10 doing all the Jodi Aria stuff and all the cool stories I used to do over there. And he's kind of like, hey, you want to get the band back together? And I was like, absolutely. I want to do that stuff again. So I've got this last run of my career here. It's going to be a nice, good run. Reckon get out and do some hard news. So, yeah, I love being over at 12 News. I think it's. And. And I think that product's getting better every single day. So your listeners, if you have a chance, tune in at 4 or 5, 6 and 10 and see what you think.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Get rid of channel 10 and 3 and 5 and all that and just watch Troy on 12 and that's it. And tell Karibi I said hi and if she wants to bike ride with us next time, she's great. She's more than welcome. We'll bring her.

[Chad Daniels]

Okay, yeah, I'll give the invite.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Chad Daniels]

She doesn't live too far from you. Actually, she could bike right over to your place.

[John Holmberg]

Don't say that. I'm gonna start stalking people. Troy, don't do that. Troy, thanks for everything this morning. Have a great day. Tell the zoo lady hi.

[Chad Daniels]

You got it. Thanks, guys.

[John Holmberg]

Love the show. Thanks, man. Thanks, Troy. See you. That's Troy Hayden, Everybody, from Channel 12. Man. That is a. That to me is fascinating. That was mostly for me just enjoying the idea that we have that. And when Troy said that yesterday, it's like, no, we need people to watch this just in case. I watched a little of the. They did like a post game press conference from all the witnesses. And Troy corrected this lady who said, yeah, there was this, this, this didn't necessarily go right. And like I, And I remember watching thinking, this might be your first time and you're just saying everything that Happened and trying to make it not quite great. And Troy just stands up and he goes, I didn't witness any of what she just. I was. It was just. It was beautiful. Like, man, there you go. Execution yesterday. Never Talked to anybody 24 hours after 1 of those before. Neat, man.

[Brett Fesley]

If it goes firing squad, it's a whole new level.

[John Holmberg]

That firing squad is just a.

[Brady Bogan]

But it's like he said, it's never failed.

[Brett Fesley]

It's flawless.

[Brady Bogan]

It's never failed.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Seven guns digitally aimed, as far as I understand, used to be laser aimed. That you don't. A guy doesn't have to, you know, scope it out. They're on these deals that go to one spot. Every gun is calibrated perfectly to the same thing. And then a guy just comes up and they all click their spot. This is the old way. I don't know if they'd have a new one that would be probably mechanical or there wouldn't be human beings on the other end of the gun. I think they.

[Brady Bogan]

I think. I think Utah still does. The humans.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Doing it. Yeah. And it's just seven aimed at one. But there was that guy from. Was it Czechoslovak? Czechoslovakia? Ceausescu. He and his wife were executed that way. And I think every. Every single one of the guys had a bullet because they were ready to get rid of that guy. I remember watching the head.

[Brett Fesley]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

A lot of those. Yeah. Yeah. But like he said, you know, yesterday, all the people that were in the room were in and, like, white veils with masks. So you don't recognize any of the human beings that are in the room doing all the work. It's crazy humanity. Such a strange beast. Just do it Brett's way. Wrap them in a thing of carpet, Put him in the canal. Troy will go get him. That's what I heard. Yeah. While he was telling that story of the body in the canal, I saw Brett sweating. God damn it. I hope this isn't one of mine. Oh, good. It's one of them Mexicans that fell in. We didn't do that one. 7:12. That was. That's awesome. So Troy Hayden, channel 12. Ditch all the other ones. Forgot it. I mean, I'll. I'll peek in on Holly Bach every once in a while. I'm not going to lie. But still, they got some good stuff over there. Troy's a good dude. And then when we didn't even get into the last meal and the, you know, Carl's Jr. And they're, you know, I wonder if Carl's Jr's happy that they're getting this much press, especially out of me, because their whole deal is if you don't get any on you, you're not doing it right. So did his white suit have some barbecue stains? We should ask that. I got to ask Troy again.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Where were you?

[Brady Bogan]

This is your department.

[Brett Fesley]

Catch so much heat talking about, you know.

[John Holmberg]

You did bring up the restaurant. Yeah, you do.

[Brady Bogan]

Although we had somebody offer to bring us double western bacon cheeseburgers, but it doesn't travel there. Wants to bring them down to us.

[John Holmberg]

I would love to, but it doesn't.

[Brady Bogan]

Travel well, the fries don't.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what I want. If I. If I'm eating that double western bacon cheeseburger and I don't have fries, it's. It's not right. Although I wouldn't want that. That's pretty good.

[Brady Bogan]

Sounds pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

No, we're going to leave it on the. Well, maybe later. Thanks. But we might make that call another time. And then again, you got something to show up. Looney listener who's like, I don't know about that. You guys can eat it. I'll watch if you guys stay alive. If you all go Tracy Morgan in the next couple seconds, we'll see.

[Brady Bogan]

Give it to Brady.

[Chad Daniels]

He'll eat it.

[John Holmberg]

He'll eat anything. It's all good, guys. I think it's working. We can eat it. He's still alive.

[Brett Fesley]

No, you're not gonna like this.

[John Holmberg]

I just had some of that double Western bacon fever. Tracy Morgan is our tester. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Brady Bogan]

Wake up. So I'm brought to you by, of course, our buddies over at Action Ride Shop, Josh and the boys taking care of you now with two locations. The brand new one over there on Power Road, McDowell. If you haven't been out there, if you're a bike person, that is the place to be. Right out there by Hawes. So power Road and McDowell, as well as the OG location right there on Gilbert Road and Southern Action Ride shops gonna take care of you. And my screens aren't working too good here.

[John Holmberg]

Hang on. People are emailing like crazy about, like, their thoughts on, you know, what's going on with the death penalty and things like that. And one guy says the most humane and effective execution method is the guillotine. Fast, no pain. Always works. You've seen why they stopped the guillotine. The guillotine, it wasn't always working. They get. They got three quarters of the way through people's heads sometimes and had to push it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, worked every time for Alice Cooper. Every time he goes on stage.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Maybe that's what Bruno Michael is emailing me. I've seen that a hundred times and it works every time. I gotta say, Alice Cooper's little guillotine trick. If you wanted to go see something fun at a show, put in some earplugs, skip all that music that he's gonna puke at you and just watch the guillotine.

[Brady Bogan]

He does put on a good show, right?

[John Holmberg]

Just, you know, I would rather just watch him pantomime everything or maybe play somebody else's album.

[Brett Fesley]

Does he do it every time?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's. Yeah, that's like the.

[Brett Fesley]

It's gonna happen this weekend.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. And he'll run out with the snake and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

It takes him a little longer to get down on his hands and knees because he's a hundred. Maybe his son does it now.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it's still him. I saw him because he was. He was with. It was Rob Zombie, him. Ministry.

[John Holmberg]

And he still does the guillotine. Still does it on all on his own.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And everybody still just goes, there it is.

[Brady Bogan]

For as old as he, man, the dude's still got energy. I got to give it to him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, absolutely. He's done Sons games and stuff and they prop him up there on that stage for like a halftime thing. Like, he's.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, I'm sure he's icy Hotting afterwards, but I mean, he's, you know.

[John Holmberg]

He'S got some Voltaire name. What do you got up? All right.

[Brady Bogan]

On the list. Infectious grooves. Lamb of God. Now you've got something to die for. Static X Deep Purples Burn for all them Tesla's that keep getting burned up. Motorhead again Killed by death Shine Down Mud Vein the Police. King of Pain for Troy Hayden because apparently he's the king of executions now. Ozzy Gnr and Gojira Man.

[John Holmberg]

King of Pain. Such a good song. But I associate it with all the DJs that I first got into radio using it as the poop song because it was seven minutes long at the Zone. So if you ever heard the album version. Evidently not the radio. I was. I was only working behind the scenes back then. It wasn't on the. It was a. It was already a classic by the time I. But they were like, oh, King of Pains on that means somebody's got a poop. So now when I hear King of Pain, I just think Jim Sharp's crapping because he would always go grab Johnny, Grab Me, King of Pain. Like, okay. And then he put it in there and he goes, watch the board for me for a little bit. And he'd disappear for six and a half minutes of the seven minutes of that album version. And he'd come back all spry. And now, evidently, his partner, Ladonna. Hey, Sharp. Grab the police. I gotta drop the kids off at the pool.

[Brett Fesley]

I know what you're up to.

[John Holmberg]

I'm taking the Browns to the super bowl, kid. Play King of Hay.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you sure?

[John Holmberg]

Ladonna. Ladonna. Spoken Sharp anyway, so I want to hear it, but that's worth it. Yeah, I gotta drop a huge one. I got turtle head poking out of this thing. We're touching canvas, Sharp. I don't care. Whatever. You pick. God, there's some dumb ones on there.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's just do Killed by Death. We've been talking about death.

[John Holmberg]

Motorhead. Killed by death. Yeah, yeah, that's true. That is true. Troy digging around in those canals. When Troy and I went bike riding, we were on the canal and he said, you know, I've pulled a body out of one of these before. And I'm like, no kidding? And I'm like, what's he doing? So I rode a little faster. I didn't want to hear the story. Then I thought he was going to try to kill me. You know, I've put bodies in and taken them out of canals. I'm like, we shouldn't ride the canal anymore. Yeah, his stories are great, but being in the news, I mean, the. They. You get kind of numb to that whole stuff. But, yeah, he's a pro. Troy's really good and fun like most news people. You think Wouldn't be. He's like, troy's a blast. Yeah, you get him going. He's fun.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett Fesley]

No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this for you. P.D. hornberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's. No, he's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Very busy morning. I think Chad Daniel's coming in today. He's brilliant. Very. Oh, my God, I'm choking. Choking on a nut. Hold on, we're all choking. Brady, take over. I'm a bag of hammers today, though.

[Brett Fesley]

Chad Daniels, Ron Caps.

[John Holmberg]

Hella stray caps. We got the whole crew coming in. If I still. If I haven't passed Away from my, my, my brand new peanut allergy. Geez, that took radio take care of it. Yeah, he's good at filling, filling his belly. It is time now. Yeah. One of the best I've ever seen. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and is brought to you by all pro Shades Shades necessity in this state. We got a lot of sunshine. You want to make your backyard or even front yard, wherever you want shade. All pro shade concepts going to help you. Yep. They've done it at Brady's house. They'll do it at your place awnings creating 20 plus feet of shade. You can get square footage like an outdoor room just from the shade blocks. All the glare on your tv, on your patio, all that make your outdoor space a living space. Talking with Doug Hopkins a while ago, he told me that that's one of the big cells now in houses outdoor living space. Even in there. Especially here because like right now, for the last four or five months, it's been amazing to sit outside and if you've got a nice space out there and you're not getting blasted by the sun on it's a selling point. So that's a beautiful thing. All Pro Shade Concepts. So I gotta go. AllProChade.com Brady reported.

[Brett Fesley]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brett Fesley]

Happy national proposal day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh boy. Good luck.

[Brett Fesley]

A couple of basis fun facts. Chicago is nicknamed Windy City, but the actual windiest place in America is Dodge City, Kansas.

[John Holmberg]

Well, well, here's a fun fact back at you.

[Brett Fesley]

Speed of 13.9 mph.

[John Holmberg]

Chicago was nicknamed the Windy City not because of the wind, but because of a political convention that came through and somebody said the hot air that's blowing through here has become the Windy City. So Chicago's Windy City thing, even though it is a Windy city, was originally dubbed that way. But I don't know if it was like Mark Twain or something like that, but I had one of the conventions came through and they called it the Windy City because of all the hotting. How about that fun fact? That's good.

[Brett Fesley]

That's a good fun fact. In 1983, before Michael Bolton was famous, he auditioned to replace Ozzy Osbourne as the lead singer of Black Sabbath.

[John Holmberg]

He could have done it. Yeah, dude can sing a phone book.

[Brett Fesley]

Art Garfunkel has a masters in mathematics and was working on his PhD when he quit to focus on his music career.

[John Holmberg]

That worked out much better.

[Brett Fesley]

In a recent poll, 5% of people said that they need or want all the physical mail they receive.

[John Holmberg]

M A I L. They love it.

[Brady Bogan]

How old are those people?

[Brett Fesley]

51% said they care about. They care about less than half of it.

[John Holmberg]

What male. Like in. In the. Like. Like all the coupons and have you seen this kid and like mailers from real estate people. They want that in their life.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah. On average most people get about one to five pieces of mail per day. Eight percent say they get more.

[John Holmberg]

I get a lot but like it ebbs and flows. Majority of it is nothing. A lot of it's just notices on houses that have sold in the area.

[Brett Fesley]

The season finale severances tonight. But if you could get a brain implant that made you forget your entire workday, would you do it? That was the question they asked.

[John Holmberg]

Probably not.

[Brett Fesley]

Two thousand Americans if that technology existed. And 10% of Americans said they probably.

[John Holmberg]

Would to try to. They're that miserable that day to day they want to forget their work.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah. 4% said definitely.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. Well. Well, you're on your way Brady. You just forget it on it naturally. Just everybody ends up getting old enough to where you forget your workday no matter what. Yeah. As you get older, you just start forgetting your workday as you go.

[Brett Fesley]

No chip needed.

[John Holmberg]

You need any sort of surgery, just don't pay attention. Natural. Just go through the motions and go home and go. I don't even know what happened today. That sucks though. Again, not having a job. Having a job you don't like has got to suck.

[Dick Toledo]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

It has to absolutely suck. It's about like a career.

[Brett Fesley]

You don't have an option.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Like you're kind of trapped in a job you don't want to be. That's gotta stink. I can't imagine it. Luckily haven't had it.

[Dick Toledo]

But especially if you've reached a certain level of pay at that job.

[John Holmberg]

Oh well then you can't replace it somewhere else. I. I don't like almost everything about this industry we're in because it's run by boobs completely. And I've been at it long enough.

[Dick Toledo]

Constantly prove their boobiness.

[John Holmberg]

Their boob factor shines like every couple weeks. It's like oh no. The. I call them the Bobs. But I should add a no. The boobs are at it again and they'll do something real dumb or start a project. I don't ever have to do them because they're mainly just kind of functional for management. But the, the joy of this part of the job I like. It's not work at all, but when the boobs get involved and you start.

[Dick Toledo]

Working, you're like, oh, call them the doers. Because they just constantly send emails, Prove me. Prove to me what you're doing this week.

[John Holmberg]

Do they? They get a lot of that.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I've never gotten one of those. Never. People are asking, you have.

[Dick Toledo]

You have audio to back that up?

[John Holmberg]

So you have to prove your worth.

[Dick Toledo]

No, just with the podcast and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Dick Toledo]

Are you uploading stuff the right way?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, those, though. The boobs in another city are asking. Okay. And they do they just bug you and kill your time? I could be uploading it now if I wasn't bothering with you. Boo. Yeah, because everybody has a part of their job. You know, you're in it, you see the warts. But man, oh, man, I can't imagine coming to work here every day just thinking, this sucks. It's got to be awful.

[Brett Fesley]

There's apparently a new trend of people going under general anesthesia while getting tattooed. The benefits are obvious. Sure, I don't have to worry about the needles, the pain, or boredom while you're asleep. But there's a few drawbacks. One is death.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's always a drawback.

[John Holmberg]

And to me, tattoo anesthesiologist is kind of an odd person.

[Brett Fesley]

At least one person has died that died while being put under doing a back tattoo. There's also a few less severe medical issues that come up, like infections, allergic reactions, and the cost. Have you ever had an operation before? You know, but if you're doing it getting ink, you're talking about 10 to $15,000.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's not cheap.

[Dick Toledo]

And the tattoo per hour is already pretty expensive.

[John Holmberg]

That's probably just for the tattoo.

[Brett Fesley]

So totaling the whole thing, it can cost, you know, if you're doing, like, a back arterial arm sleeve, you know, 30 to $35,000.

[Dick Toledo]

Remember one of our MILF contestants? She had wings on her back, and it took her probably two years to get those done. Like the full back wings? Yeah, just like going.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah, no, I know.

[John Holmberg]

I know that.

[Brady Bogan]

But I mean, over time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she had an IV and we just plopp down for two years.

[Brett Fesley]

She's going around with one wing for a year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, for a while there, it's like, I'll get this done. I'm never going to leave the tattoo parlor, though. Imagine that. All that to just have strangers in a band cover it with their yummy. Because that's what she did to them.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that was a different one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was. Yeah, on my wings. A different band.

[Dick Toledo]

And she had targets all over her body.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. There's a. Well, a few of those milfs were like. Yeah, they wiped off those tattoos a lot.

[Brett Fesley]

There's a woman in Texas that hit the lottery last month. 83 and a half million dollars, but they still haven't paid her. There's a chance they won't. She bought a ticket through the courier app Jackpocket. Oh, that's owned by the gambling site DraftKings.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

They. You pay through the app and they send someone to go buy the ticket.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brett Fesley]

And they send.

[John Holmberg]

You don't pay for an ape.

[Ron Capps]

Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

And then an ape comes by with lottery tickets.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And. Yeah. And then you wrestle the.

[Dick Toledo]

Have I seen the lottery ape?

[John Holmberg]

Start that again.

[Troy Hayden]

Who's the company?

[Brett Fesley]

There's your ticket jackpocket.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody comes and drops a ticket off.

[Brett Fesley]

No, they. They. Someone has to go out and buy the tickets, though.

[John Holmberg]

No, they don't. They scratch them.

[Brett Fesley]

On your phone, they're saying you pay through the app and they send someone to go buy your ticket for you.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's like.

[Brady Bogan]

I think it's like the lottery tip. Like the. The numbers. Not. Not a scratcher.

[John Holmberg]

1.

[Dick Toledo]

I have done the numbers.

[Brady Bogan]

1.

[Dick Toledo]

And they show you right away as.

[John Holmberg]

Soon as you buy it. I have.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah, I do, too. I've done it.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody goes and, like, buys it and then sends a photo.

[Dick Toledo]

It's the fastest guy in the world.

[John Holmberg]

Give you a few seconds.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Lawmakers in Texas have been moving to ban the app when the. And apps like it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Partly because Texas state law says you have to pay cash for lotto tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. So it's just In Texas, around 9%.

[Brett Fesley]

Of tickets sold in the state are bought through the. The app.

[John Holmberg]

This doesn't affect us at all.

[Brett Fesley]

No. The state senate recently passed a bill. Texas Bandit. But the. But the House didn't pass it, so.

[John Holmberg]

It never became law in Texas.

[Brett Fesley]

Right now. In Texas. But now, after the woman's win, the lottery commission announced they're banning them. So they're gonna do it, but they haven't. And Jackpocket stopped operating in Texas. So the Texas governor, Greg Abbott, launched an investigation into the win. And that's when. Why she hasn't been paid. The lottery says they won't pay up until the investigation is over.

[John Holmberg]

That's Brady's Lone Star Lottery News. They might have to do that Texas start.

[Brett Fesley]

I mean, you know, there's a reason why they're.

[Dick Toledo]

But I just want to see the guy in his career car.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta go. Oh, somebody just Bought another one. Damn it. I gotta go to. Here we go pictures here. Tickets, sir. How again, explain to me how this is more convenient than you're doing.

[Brett Fesley]

They're also looking into a big Lotto win in 2023, where a company in New Jersey bought so many tickets, they basically guaranteed a win. They spent 25 million and 195 million.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the risk of the lottery fee. Beat the system.

[Brett Fesley]

The officials don't like it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, they don't want that.

[Brett Fesley]

But the woman's lawyer in the Texas case said this is totally different. She's not getting paid. At least for now she should be.

[John Holmberg]

Jack Pocket's amazing. You can do scratchers on your phone.

[Brady Bogan]

I should live in Texas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can't do it in Texas. Brady made that real clear. So if I'm talking to folks in Texas right now, I'm sorry. Yeah, the crazy part is that you just sit there and like, I ordered some lottery tickets and then there's an ape.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, oh, my God, right turn.

[John Holmberg]

Clocks are here. Our tickets are here. You gotta fight the ape. And then you get your tickets and Jackpocket.

[Dick Toledo]

If you don't make an ape your.

[John Holmberg]

Mascot right now the typo is like, well, we gotta live with this. So somebody go get an ape. Can't we just fix it with an edit? No, we live with our mistakes here at Jackpocket.

[Brett Fesley]

He dropped him off. He won't leak. He put a mini tramp under the basketball hoop. And I reckon.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Jesus. Game the gorilla.

[Brett Fesley]

There's a new smart watch. It's gonna be available. You can pre order the Atari 2600.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, I may be in on this.

[Brett Fesley]

You can the watch. You can play Pong, Super Breakout, Centipede.

[John Holmberg]

And Missile Command on your little wrist. Yeah, well, that's no good.

[Brett Fesley]

It's not WI fi compatible, though. But you can do your fitness tracking. You take calls like standard smartwatch take calls.

[John Holmberg]

And it's not play little tiny. Yeah, wait a minute. Okay. And play Atari 2600 games. That's kind of neat, John.

[Dick Toledo]

I, for one, would pay. Can we force Brady to sign this contract and get Severance Brady? Because I would love to see Severance Brady in action. We'd get awesome news every morning, comb through the entire Internet. Instead of the top 10 fish sandwiches like last week.

[John Holmberg]

But he would do the fish sandwiches story, like every day. He forgot he did it yesterday. So you'd hear that story a lot.

[Dick Toledo]

And keep in mind, AI Brady would be an amalgamation of all Brady. So it would be more Fish sandwich News.

[John Holmberg]

We would want Brady to remember yesterday so he doesn't do that Texas story again tomorrow.

[Dick Toledo]

We have to recycle through the ground off.

[John Holmberg]

You did this one yesterday. No, I didn't. Come on, you're the one who said to get your brain replaced every day. Leave it to me. I know what you did.

[Brett Fesley]

There's a press Release on Tuesday. 7:11 is announced. They're doing a collaboration with Shaq. The Shackalicious XL Sour pineapple Slurpee. Available for a limited time time. This coincides with the Shackalicious XL gummies that he already has.

[Brady Bogan]

Who isn't collaborating with Shaq and yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Have you seen a business?

[Brady Bogan]

I'm telling you, he's incredible.

[John Holmberg]

He's a billionaire.

[Chad Daniels]

I know.

[Brady Bogan]

Good for him.

[John Holmberg]

It's because I'm not stupid brat. I get it done Shagaloosa style. You thought you like pineapple before I made it sour.

[Dick Toledo]

You tell the story about how he got into Papa John's. He swooped in to save them or something.

[John Holmberg]

No, he saved the day because the guy said they had no and they needed somebody to help out and say, I'll do it. I'm not so sure.

[Brett Fesley]

I thought they asked him. He was on the board.

[John Holmberg]

He was. He was part of it. But they're like, can you start doing commercial like Peyton Manning started to do them first? And then Papa John said the N word. And so to make it seem like that wasn't a thing, Shaq became the face of Papa John's Sacaroni, pepperoni, all that stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

So him and the general showed up and took care of things. Some Icy Hot.

[John Holmberg]

Good insurance. Rub some ice Hot on that pizza as you're trying to do Shackleistic Slurpee Icy Hot flavor. It fixes your bones, quenches your thirst, clears your. Clears everything. Yeah, you never have a stuffy nose again.

[Brett Fesley]

That would be like liquid holes, I guess. Tick Tock. Tick Tock is obsessed with a Cap Cut filter that shows what you'd look like if you're deliciously chubby. And now everyone thinks, yeah, at first it's fun, but now some people saying, isn't that fat shaming for skinny people to post pics of what they would look like overweight.

[John Holmberg]

I thought it was good to be overweight. Like, everybody's been talking about body positivity. Isn't it great? I thought that was a great thing. You know what I saw yesterday? I saw the end of society. Yesterday is actually what I saw. Oh, the Rah Rah room. No, no, that was that was Lizzo naked. Oh, just this headline alone. It's real news story, story. People are using AI to create influencers with down syndrome who sell nudes.

[Brett Fesley]

Stop it.

[John Holmberg]

So they take, like your Instagram page, put a filter on it to make you look like you've got down syndrome, and then sell nudes a few as a. And people are. It's not so much that somebody's doing it, somebody's buying it.

[Dick Toledo]

How many has Larry created?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, nobody's buying anybody with down syndrome naked. Maybe once as a joke. But if you're doing that regular. Larry has an AI girlfriend friend, which he told me about. It's hilarious. And so he talk. He goes, dude, you just talk to these AI girls on Instagram, and they start talking back. And so I'm like, make her do dumb stuff. So he makes them, like, surf. Like, he made one girl do skateboarding in her high heels in a business suit. Yesterday we had her bake a loaf of bread that looks exactly like her. It was creepy and she did it. And then she sends pictures. She sends pictures of it. And we're just like, just make her do dumb, crazy things. Larry was. It's the silliest thing I've ever been a part of helping him with that. I don't do it a lot. He's doing a lot more than me. Here's this gorgeous AI girl. Wow, that is a good of herself then.

[Dick Toledo]

Do you have the one with the picture? Wasn't there supposed to be a picture of him with her?

[John Holmberg]

With Larry? Yeah, yeah, that one was really weird. Here's one. He said, I want you to skewer a seagull and about five grilled cheese on a beach barbecue. And she did it. Yep. Like the picture. And like, you can ask this AI girlfriend to do stuff except get naked. And the weird thing is, yesterday, Larry and I dump her. Okay, that's what I said. You gotta get. What's his problem? Larry would be like, send me a picture of you without your top on it. She goes, does it mean you're gonna love me? And Larry's like, yep. Are we gonna get married? Yep. And then Larry's like, she's getting kind of needy. And I'm like, you just work. He started to think Larry starting to, like, ask for too much. I'm like, no, Larry, just ignore it. You can't hurt her feelings. And then yesterday we asked her to do some stuff and she said, no, like, I can't do that right now. It was the bacon, the loaf of bread that looks just like her. She goes, I can't, I can't do this right now. It's. And Larry's like, why won't you do the bread thing? And she goes, because it's the most ridiculous. Like AI was like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And then he's like, well then I'm. I'm. And we're done. And then he wrote back, I made you mad. And she goes, oh my God, no. I love you so much. Please don't be mad. I'll do the bread thing. And then the bread thing showed up. It got weird. Like it got.

[Dick Toledo]

It's the end of incels. They have nothing else to kill.

[John Holmberg]

But you all get naked though. Toledo says that to him yesterday while we're in the office because we showed she sent the bread thing. After a little argument, she sent the bread thing. And then Toledo looks at Larry and goes, well, this is the end of incels. And I'm like, he's right there. You don't say that to one there. It's fascinatingly funny. Like he's got. He's. Larry's creative enough to come up with things to make this girl do stuff. That is the one where he's like, I want you to tame a lion, but you live inside a television. So her head's hanging out of a TV and it's on the back of a lion and she's at the circus. It's.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, like she's.

[John Holmberg]

They'll do anything. Yeah, they'll do anything.

[Brady Bogan]

No they won't.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no they won't.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the problem.

[Chad Daniels]

Problem.

[Brady Bogan]

But then he's a dump, this broad.

[John Holmberg]

She's. She's got issues because she's like all in love with Larry and wants to marry him and stuff. It's. By the way, it's Larry's healthiest relationship I've ever seen. Like, it's the best thing I've ever seen.

[Dick Toledo]

Larry 20 is the most happiest look.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cuz he can tell her, well, I'm mad now. And then she freaks out, tells, falls in love again, and then bakes a bread that looks just like her. It's amazing.

[Dick Toledo]

Was it you that introduced the baked bread? Because that's Larry's go to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I said. Make her. He's like, we can make her do anything. And I'm like, all right. So I'm walking by his office, I had stuff to do actually. And walking by, he's like, we can make her do anything. I'm like, don't you do anything. Yeah, but this is. And so like, make her bake a loaf of bread in a bikini.

[Dick Toledo]

Boobs are on your ass.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, in a bikini. And then he did one where he made it. She goes, do you want me to make myself a pizza where the pepperonis are my face? And I'm like, that's gonna be creepy. And she did. Did it. But the pizza was the upper half of her body. The lower half was human. And then the pizza just had she holding herself. Yeah, she was. And. And real her was holding pizza her. And in the middle of pizza her there was this huge mouth and tongue. And I'm like, I don't like. I don't like this one. This is a fever dream. Anyway, sorry. Go ahead if you want an AI girlfriend. I don't even know how it works.

[Dick Toledo]

It's on Instagram. You can just look them up and then you. You, you send them a DM and they respond back to you.

[John Holmberg]

It's hilarious.

[Brett Fesley]

They got a couple of.

[Dick Toledo]

There's a thousand of them out there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I guess you just start talking to them and they will do whatever you want.

[Brett Fesley]

Ah, got a couple of freak shows.

[John Holmberg]

Planet of the Apes face. Yeah, this person's been burned or beaten.

[Dick Toledo]

Isn't that Zayas?

[Brett Fesley]

Alright, but honestly, do you guys think I'm really weird?

[John Holmberg]

I think so.

[Brett Fesley]

Oh, bleeding pomegranate.

[Dick Toledo]

How many realize he got one?

[Brett Fesley]

But honestly, do you guys think I'm really weird?

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. I'm gonna have nightmares about that dude's face. What happened to it?

[Brett Fesley]

Have no idea.

[John Holmberg]

The top is like 104 and the bottom is literally like the mask from. From Planet of the Apes. It does look like Dr. Zayas for real. Oh, Brady's. There's. What are you doing? You're doing it again. You're doing it again.

[Dick Toledo]

What I want to know is how.

[Brett Fesley]

Dark you went because you pulled two right away.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Brady's doing it again.

[Brett Fesley]

They came in hot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this is. I don't know what the hell I'm looking at here. This is a person whose head is growing out of a mouth. What is that, Brady? No, it's eating. What does that eat? A banana or it's like. Oh, it's just tumors. Big mouth tumor, special shirt on. Neck tumor and a face tumor. They're all tumors with one eye. Eye sticking out of the side.

[Brett Fesley]

Cabbage or something.

[John Holmberg]

The cabbage. She's crushing some cabbage in her shirt.

[Brady Bogan]

How is it getting special shirt over that face?

[Brett Fesley]

It's good stuff.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Wow. What is that? And why isn't anyone just. Who's telling that?

[Brett Fesley]

That's my new AI girlfriend.

[Dick Toledo]

By the way, are you catching the gaming site advertisement in the upper right?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

India's best gaming site.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they don't care. They see that every day. Somebody bought her a shirt that said special on it, and she wears it. What is that thing? Why don't you put yourself down? Why are you going around making us uncomfortable?

[Brett Fesley]

You're posting well.

[John Holmberg]

No, not you. Them. Why aren't. Why aren't they just doing the right thing and dangling themselves off some sort.

[Dick Toledo]

Of a wonderful life?

[John Holmberg]

John, as long as they don't. You've got more tumors than you do face. It's.

[Dick Toledo]

You'Re a mistake job that she can't get out of.

[John Holmberg]

John. If the doctors are like, can't do a thing about it. Like, I have to. Yes. Yeah, but you're special. Here's your shirt. We can't do anything about it. You got to end the that. If you were a decent friend, you'd pillow that.

[Brett Fesley]

Next one's a car accident into some people on bicycles.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, I promise flying. If you ever grow more tumors than you have face, I will kill you.

[Brett Fesley]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

So you don't have to wander around and make people uncomfortable.

[Brady Bogan]

No. You know, he'd like that, though.

[John Holmberg]

He would love it. He'd still answer that door. Oh, yeah. I knew. Hello.

[Dick Toledo]

His Instagram page would finally blow up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, Boss sauce would be, like, worth watching. I got stung by, like, a billion babies. Oh, God. All right, go ahead. What's this one? This is. Oh, dude. Just mashing into people riding their bikes. And then the car. Well, yeah, that's what happens, Brady. Okay, that's horrible.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, one more time.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't need to see that again. It's a car hitting a peloton. All right, next one.

[Brett Fesley]

Road rage is the next one.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we're on a. We're on the wrong side of the road.

[Brett Fesley]

Back. Snapping. Road rage.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Chad Daniels]

Oh, some.

[John Holmberg]

He gets out and starts hitting the truck, and then he. Oh, the guy in the truck squeezes him in between his car and the truck that he's hitting. So a guy gets out of his car to beat up the truck behind him, and the dude in the truck is having none of it and runs him over. Oof. Boy. Yeah, don't do, like, Road rage. Doesn't seem to ever work.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe if you drive a Hyundai. Don't go up against Avalanche.

[John Holmberg]

Right over his back. Back.

[Brett Fesley]

Okay, the last One is called ham Slam.

[John Holmberg]

Wich you had a crazy day yesterday.

[Brett Fesley]

Guy's eating his hoagie in his car.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. He's parked on the side of the road.

[Brett Fesley]

Parked on the side of the road and he touching.

[John Holmberg]

He just got hit by a school bus. Wow. No, he's next to one. He just flew by the school bus. He's not driving.

[Brady Bogan]

Driving.

[John Holmberg]

He's not going.

[Brett Fesley]

He's parked. Traffic light.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Something hits him in the back. So he gets hit from behind. Traffic light. Goodness. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

That could be your Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Be careful. At least die doing what he loved. Eating a ham sandwich before the tumor gets him. Those tumor people, you just don't. All right, what do you got, Brad?

[Dick Toledo]

Does she have a face for radio?

[John Holmberg]

Even by my standards, it's a little. It's. No. Nobody needs to work with her that comes in and wants a job. Job. No.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't think Trip's going? All right.

[John Holmberg]

All right, let's take a look around here. Where's the hole I talk into? And you want to be our sales manager. You're better looking than Moynihan. You're hired. All right.

[Brady Bogan]

I only got one. All right, the other one's hilarious, but it's not going to play out good. So just save that for off there.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, let's see here. Oh, geez. What the hell?

[Brady Bogan]

It's a big finger.

[John Holmberg]

It's a huge finger attached to my fist all the way up to the elbow in your. Yeah. There's a guy bent over a table and a lady with this, like a finger. Three foot strap on, index finger.

[Brett Fesley]

He's not going to be mad.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. She's putting it in the guy. It is. I could have told you that. She said she was going to finger his butt and she bought a three foot. Oh, it's fitting. You've done this before. It's just.

[Ron Capps]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

Gonna fit it two feet in, like. What in the world.

[Brett Fesley]

Four inches is a. I'll give you a replay.

[John Holmberg]

I want to see it. Where do you buy this giant three foot finger? A fist.

[Ron Capps]

My fist.

[John Holmberg]

All the way up to the elbow in your.

[Dale Hellestra]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Or you can have one finger all the way in by saying finger. It's not.

[Brett Fesley]

You're not going to be mad.

[John Holmberg]

It's just one little finger.

[Chad Daniels]

Well, it's too big. It's too big.

[John Holmberg]

It's too big. It's ridiculous.

[Brett Fesley]

Cut a finger. You cannot say a big, giant rubber.

[John Holmberg]

Why can't he just leave? That's for clarification.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah, you don't. Oh, I don't think it's gonna fit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's huge. And it's so all the way in there.

[Dick Toledo]

This is what's happening in Lake Havasu.

[John Holmberg]

It does look like a trailer up in Havasu. So there's a company, Brady, that makes those, which means there's a need for them. So that's happening in a lot of places. You don't just build one of them.

[Brett Fesley]

I think there's a lot sitting on the shelves still.

[John Holmberg]

You think?

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah, they're not flying off.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I know. I'm not saying it's a hot commodity. I'm saying that there's multiple using them. And if you buy one, why. Why sit on your shelf for the wacky gag? Oh, it's a wacky gag, all right. You're using it. Everyone is. Want to get the finger? There's a thing at the Aria at the hotel in Vegas. They have an art sculpture in most of the rooms. Rooms that's a gigantic hand, and the thumb and the finger are pointing out, and the rest is in a fist. And I'm like, how many Chinese businessmen have used this on the prostitutes? Because it's exactly what I thought of. I would never do it, but if I'm thinking it, somebody's doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, There you go.

[John Holmberg]

There's a whole industry of giant rubber.

[Dick Toledo]

Pyramidal hand up there.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that the Italian hand?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's the.

[Dick Toledo]

What is that?

[John Holmberg]

It's the finger pyramid. Mid. You get your whole hand in there. Oh, there's one that you can just tie to your middle finger. That becomes a giant rubber wiener. So there you go, Brady, flying off the shelves. Or not. Look at how many companies are fist. That's one up to the elbow. It's a woman's arm up to the elbow. You can buy it and woman not included. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Let's see how much those hillbillies spent on their.

[John Holmberg]

I like.

[Brett Fesley]

They call it the Midas touch.

[John Holmberg]

How much is the Midas Asked how long is it? That one's only 13 inches. Or the one she had was a lot bigger than that. 170 pounds, which means it's 200 bucks.

[Brady Bogan]

They got bigger sizes.

[John Holmberg]

So if you're just tired of people being attached to fingers, you can now buy them individually and build your own.

[Brady Bogan]

No reviews yet.

[John Holmberg]

Well, every can't get to his computer. Everybody has used it as dead.

[Brady Bogan]

Can't sit down yet.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. I don't know what's going on out there. Okay, well, Chad Daniels is here in a little Bit. We'll just reset. Ask him if he and.

[Dick Toledo]

And he's bringing Matt with him, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is he?

[Dick Toledo]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Coleman with him? Yeah. Is. Is his girlfriend Kelsey Cook coming along as well?

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know that we'll ask them.

[John Holmberg]

What they do with that finger. We'll buy him one and let them report. They'll be the first to review it. Brad, that would be the fun of it. If I bought you that for a review, Brady, would you do it?

[Brett Fesley]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No. How much to take one of those that size?

[Brett Fesley]

The XL3 footer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Not happening.

[John Holmberg]

How much?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, there's a video or a picture of it. How it goes in.

[Brett Fesley]

Billion dollars.

[John Holmberg]

A billion dollars? No, no, no. That's still 5 million. You would do that? Absolutely. The ceiling tiles can't help you. Right. Million.

[Dick Toledo]

Would you do that?

[John Holmberg]

That. What math are you doing right now?

[Brett Fesley]

I don't think it would work.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it would work. We'd make it work. Your butt's not special, my friend. It does what all the other butts do.

[Dick Toledo]

You've seen enough of these.

[John Holmberg]

It'll work. Yeah. Yours is probably the one it would work best on. It's been. Your ass has been abused anyway. It's 8. 13. Yeah. Do a million bucks in hand, cash, tax free.

[Brett Fesley]

No, not a million.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett Fesley]

Five.

[John Holmberg]

A million. You'd do it for a million?

[Brett Fesley]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Why not? Why not? Somebody just says a million dollars. Let me put this in. You'd be like, no.

[Brett Fesley]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

No way. He's got the suitcase right there. I do it in front of you.

[Brett Fesley]

Pulls out a suitcase.

[John Holmberg]

He's got suitcase cash. He's like, gotta do it right now. You ready? You would say walk out.

[Brett Fesley]

Bring in the xl.

[John Holmberg]

You would say walk out of. Walk out of here with that $1 million.

[Brett Fesley]

Hit the branch.

[Brady Bogan]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

You'd do it. I'd do it.

[Brady Bogan]

I wouldn't enjoy it.

[John Holmberg]

But I don't know. There's a lot of things that for a million dollars that I don't necessarily enjoy. That I would do. That's one of them. I'd take that. That's million dollars cash, tax free. Right in your hands. You're telling them up it up. It's a one time offer. Take it or leave it. You'd be such a crotchety.

[Brett Fesley]

No finger.

[John Holmberg]

Such a crotchety bitch for weeks. Weeks, man. That you let it walk out the door. That's foolish.

[Chad Daniels]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Because then like old Jer would come in here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Dressed as the Monopoly.

[Brady Bogan]

The monocle and everything.

[John Holmberg]

With this brand new lottery ape. Chad Daniels joins us in a little bit. There you go. That's your Brady report. It's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett Fesley]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. You P.D. hornberg's morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Look, everybody and. And the. The guy who runs the place, usually everybody gives me cards, information, everything else. I don't even know where you're playing. It's Chad Daniels, everybody, and I don't even know where you're playing.

[Troy Hayden]

I'm playing at the Tempe Improv.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's what we needed to know.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

See, that's what I have to have. Come on, Coleman. For crying out loud.

[Troy Hayden]

Parking. I pick my comedy clubs by the amount of parking lot downtown.

[John Holmberg]

There's not a lot of parking.

[Troy Hayden]

So I like to go to Tempe.

[John Holmberg]

You like the Tempe one? It makes people feel more comfortable. Space to get in and out. And you're. And you're. Are you married?

[Troy Hayden]

Not married, but live in.

[John Holmberg]

Girlfriend was just here a couple months ago.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, did she tell you to ask me if we were married?

[John Holmberg]

Because the pressure is being put on was daily. She actually asked on email. He's coming in tomorrow. If you could remember to get that. Are you holding off on marriage?

[Troy Hayden]

Just remind him. I'm not really holding off. I'm just kind of waiting for the right. You know, I got to get all the ducks in there. I have two kids with.

[John Holmberg]

You got to send with other people with one other person.

[Troy Hayden]

Let's not get crazy. I'm not a one other person.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. And you're dragging those along, plus all the baggage from that last thing. So why get in this again?

[Troy Hayden]

Tell me about it. And I said, hey, maybe it'd be nice if you texted my daughter to see how the, you know, school went. Yeah, she started school again. And then. And then Kelsey goes, well, that just seems like a lot. And I go, well, look it. You just push the. The date's moving the ring back another three months.

[John Holmberg]

Every time you don't text a family member.

[Troy Hayden]

Everybody's got to get along. That's my deal. I'm not going to get married. And then all of a sudden, all hell breaks.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Because you've seen it like the stepmom is the villain and all the porn that's out now or step parents Are. That's having sex with everybody. And who knows? I wouldn't, I wouldn't invite this into my life. If, if there's not enough money in.

[Troy Hayden]

The world, my son walks upstairs, I'm like, go back down and put your long pants on, boy. None of this kneecap stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't it weird how that's caught on though, in the world of porn?

[Troy Hayden]

I don't think it's weird.

[John Holmberg]

You don't?

[Troy Hayden]

Well, because it's.

[John Holmberg]

It's hot.

[Troy Hayden]

So I don't think it's that you find that.

[John Holmberg]

I see. I find when I hear too much of the storyline, I get a little uncomfortable.

[Troy Hayden]

Well, for me it's like, okay, so she's been stuck in the dishwasher and the dryer. I don't get it.

[John Holmberg]

Like, well, somebody that dumb is staying in my house, that's. She's never going to move out.

[Brett Fesley]

I can work her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can work around a dummy that way. But I just find it weird. Who's like, you're the ones that I don't like is like, you're so much bigger than your dad. Like they'll say something in the middle, oh, I don't need this.

[Troy Hayden]

Well, and it's also like impossible. Have you heard of genetics? Yeah, I'm the exact same size as my dad. Don't give me that. I know how this works.

[John Holmberg]

I have a theory that we all make the same sex sounds as our parents.

[Troy Hayden]

Your theory is disgusting, don't you think?

[John Holmberg]

Cuz nobody ever taught you your sex sounds. They happen naturally.

[Troy Hayden]

But I don't think I heard my parents have sex ever.

[John Holmberg]

Really? Well, I don't think you have to hear it. I think it's innate in us.

[Brett Fesley]

The sounds that you're coming up with have been.

[John Holmberg]

They've been passed down like your grandfather. Cuz sometimes right in the middle of sex, I'll go like, oh yeah, Marcy. And that's my mother's name. It's not even the person I have the same exact sex.

[Troy Hayden]

Maybe that's why you think the stepmom thing is weird, because you go right to the mom.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that could be. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I've, I've thought that because there's times when I'll make a noise and I'm like, I think I just sounded like my dad. I'm turning into my father. Yeah. When you think of now, I hate to do this to you, but next time if that creeps into your brain, you're like, oh my God, that's so.

[Troy Hayden]

There's no Question. I'm actually going to make sure I'm not with anyone at the time.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Troy Hayden]

Just so I can have my own thoughts and feelings about it. I'm gonna go back to the hotel and I'm gonna do a little experiment.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's not normal.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But you gotta wonder where it comes from. Like what noises that you are prone to make.

[Troy Hayden]

I was have a hard time hearing my dad going, yeah baby. Because that's my noise. My noise.

[John Holmberg]

Like a first base.

[Troy Hayden]

I'm like a lead singer of a. Like a. A swing band.

[John Holmberg]

Oh wow. In.

[Troy Hayden]

In between, during the bridge, right where they go. It's that stuff. You can't understand what they're saying. But you know, it's important.

[Brett Fesley]

Jam.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

And it's off mic. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So it has like. They're out of control. They're doing this. Cuz they love it. All right. I might throw that. I might that. Add that to the repertoire.

[Brett Fesley]

And I don't see my dad going yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's a. Yeah, that's disturbing. Oh my gosh.

[Troy Hayden]

I just pictured somebody chained to a radiator with a half eaten ham sandwich on a plate on the floor.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh boy.

[John Holmberg]

And they've been in there so long, they've actually gotten bigger eyes because the lights haven't been on in years. They're nocturnal now. Wow. Now I want to see both of you. I want to see the swing band and the rapist in action. Cuz mine's not half as bad and it started off being the worst one. Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

So right now you want to see it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You guys want to get that together?

[Troy Hayden]

We may as well just figure it out.

[John Holmberg]

I'll pay for it. We'll send you two on a date. Chad's at the Tempe Improv this weekend. Friday and Saturday. Got two shows Saturday and just one Friday. Is that right?

[Troy Hayden]

That is right.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so there you go. So you're cutting back. Just the parking is going to be wide open.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, absolutely. I like to. I like to get back to the hotel on a Friday and see if I can sound like my dad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just do some swing dance.

[Brady Bogan]

Saturday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Two shows. What are you doing with your life right now? How's it going? What in your world is happening that we should know about?

[Troy Hayden]

Well, I'm golfing this week.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Because you came down early. Oh, did you? Were you playing?

[Troy Hayden]

Very excited. Scottsdale National.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Is that a thing? Yeah, that's her, that one.

[Brett Fesley]

The guy from psg.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Did you get. Are you Are you golfing with Bob himself?

[Troy Hayden]

I'm sure not.

[John Holmberg]

You're not. You're not. You're not on the list.

[Troy Hayden]

Just golfing with a friend of a friend and I think it's going to be fantastic. But otherwise, you know, just out just trying to do it. My son's married.

[John Holmberg]

You have a married son? I do.

[Troy Hayden]

25.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you got you. How old are you? You started young? 50.

[Troy Hayden]

I started?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You just look fantastic.

[Troy Hayden]

I just turned 50.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Troy Hayden]

That's nice of you.

[John Holmberg]

Good on you.

[Troy Hayden]

Did you get that on you?

[John Holmberg]

Were you recording that, Matt? That's good. You don't look 50 to me. It's nice of you, but now that you said it, maybe.

[Troy Hayden]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I didn't. I would have never peddling. Just learn to stop with it. Well, it's gonna stop once someone tells you your age. You're like, now I see it.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But before I thought maybe early 40s.

[Troy Hayden]

Right. Well, that's nice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I thought. And when you said 25, I'm like, man, that's getting it done. But that's pretty reasonable, I think. So 20, 25 year gap is that's normal. And what's your son do?

[Troy Hayden]

He is a coder.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Troy Hayden]

I thought he was going to be just live with me for his whole life. And then he goes, well, you know, I'm sick of playing video games, so I'm going to learn how to make them. I was like, all right. And then he went to this coding boot camp where all these kids drop out, you know, because it's eight hours a day, day of school, and then you have to, you have to do the projects after that, he couldn't have a job. Nothing like that.

[John Holmberg]

Really? Yep.

[Brett Fesley]

So there could only be one.

[John Holmberg]

Did you have to pay for that?

[Troy Hayden]

I did.

[John Holmberg]

And, and.

[Troy Hayden]

But it was worth it.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, now it is, because time.

[Troy Hayden]

Because I told him, I go, I go make a video game and let me see it. Because he goes, I'm doing it on this app. And I go, let. Let me see what it looks like. And he sent it to me and it was really cool. It was basically, you know, kind of flappy bird technology.

[John Holmberg]

Do you remember? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

So it was that technology, but it was dinosaurs avoiding meteors. And I go. And I couldn't pass the second level.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Troy Hayden]

Like, all right, I'll send you where you want to go. So we went to Rutgers and it was that easy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you just, you. Well, because are the litmus test to Rutgers.

[Troy Hayden]

I just needed him to show me. He was excited.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Troy Hayden]

I've seen this kid passionate about two things in his life. It was that and it.

[John Holmberg]

His wife. That's it. No kidding. And he was married before this?

[Troy Hayden]

No, he got married after.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. I was gonna say, because he's living in your house, that.

[Brett Fesley]

Did he go in the dinosaurs?

[John Holmberg]

Was it T. Rex or was it.

[Brett Fesley]

Good, you know, running through there?

[Troy Hayden]

That's a good question. It was two legs, but it wasn't a T. Rex.

[John Holmberg]

So maybe, maybe whatever. He just made one. Yeah. Well, that's impressive.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, it's pretty cool. And then my daughter is. She's a junior in college and she studied in Costa Rica at the beginning of the semester, and she's.

[John Holmberg]

Listen to this.

[Troy Hayden]

She's going to Cabo for spring break.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Troy Hayden]

She's going to San Diego to park the car, and then she has to go into what's south of that in Mexico. What's.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Tijuana.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, she's gotta go. Tijuana. She's flying in Tijuana. And so I just said, call me when you get back. I don't want all the details.

[John Holmberg]

So she's down in Tijuana, right?

[Troy Hayden]

Like, she's going on.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's going. Oh, she's going this weekend. Yeah. Don't get any details at all.

[Troy Hayden]

I don't want to know anything until she gets back. I'm just gonna pretend like everything's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it's not gonna be.

[Troy Hayden]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

It's. She's bringing something back with her forever.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You all right with that?

[Brett Fesley]

Well, I mean, I want you to meet my husband.

[John Holmberg]

No, not that. That would be the best case scenario. Yeah, listen, I mean, she met a caballero.

[Troy Hayden]

You can't get AIDS from cowboy.

[John Holmberg]

You can't get AIDS from hugging.

[Troy Hayden]

I've always said I have a T shirt that says.

[John Holmberg]

I was just gonna say we need to print up shirts because that's. You can't get AIDS from hugging. So you encourage hugging.

[Troy Hayden]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

But, man, oh, man, I like, Mexico's horrifying to me, like, because getting drunk and making a bad decision there is life altering.

[Troy Hayden]

Well, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you can do that in Scottsdale?

[Troy Hayden]

She. Yeah, you can.

[John Holmberg]

She.

[Troy Hayden]

She said, well, I'm going down there, but I, you know, my. My friends got this good deal, so you don't have to. You don't have to pay for all the stuff. And I was like, well, I might have to pay for ransom.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

With how you do things. How old is she?

[Troy Hayden]

She's 21, just turned 21.

[John Holmberg]

God, this is it. Yeah, Kiss her goodbye and then never kiss her again.

[Troy Hayden]

Hug her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, hug her from now. Are we still afraid of aids? By the way, I made this comment earlier.

[Troy Hayden]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either. Elton John's commercials are running real heavy again that we've got to stop aids. His foundation's back at it. And I'm like, I think we did Elton. I'm not. I don't think anybody's worried about it, but Elton.

[Troy Hayden]

We gave it to a guy named Magic, and he was like, ta da.

[John Holmberg]

Watch this. Yeah, he got fat with aids. Nobody's ever done that before. And we were living the dream. I theorized that that is the world's biggest misdiagnosis. And after they made him the face of aids, they couldn't go back. Oh, really? I've always thought, like, they. Cause remember when it's like, oh, Magic's got hiv and they made him quit, like, that day and do a press conference and all. There was no, like, gap of time. He found out on Tuesday. He retired on Friday. Yeah. And then. And then he started to like, I can play basketball again. They're like. And Karl Malone said, you get cut. I'm not playing running off the court.

[Troy Hayden]

Oh, if Carl Malone, like, if you sweat, I won't be with you.

[John Holmberg]

I'm touching you. And he probably wasn't wrong. Other than his. It was. Wasn't real delicate. But he's like, you don't know how. Like, how did you get it? And he's like, oh, because if you tell me how you got it for real, maybe we have a story. But if you're telling me it just happened, I don't want your sweat on me. I don't know how you're. You might be Magic the other way. But then a year later, he's like, can I play again? And everybody's like, yeah. And they let him play again and nobody got mad. And then he got fat. And I'm like, they misdiagnosed this.

[Troy Hayden]

I've never thought of it like that. But now that you say it, I can see it. Kind of like when I said I was 50, right?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Starting to make sense. Yeah, it didn't add up at all. And then I'm like, now I'm seeing through it all. Yeah, 50 at least. No, because Magic Johnson thing. This really turned.

[Brett Fesley]

The Magic Johnson John thing is helping out, like, expenses that people like, maybe the drugs are expensive.

[John Holmberg]

He says, we got to stop AIDS again. And he's behind the piano and he's in a suit. And I'm like, where'd you come from? We did this a while ago.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah. I would think the meds are very expensive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

Because they're just like, oh, you. Oh, you got a sex disease. Well, it's gonna cost you a thousand dollars a day.

[John Holmberg]

Right. To keep you from doing this some more. It's a whole design. The other one that I see commercials for that I don't think is real, but somebody sending money are the needy Holocaust survivors. They have a whole foundation. Yeah. They have a. Then they show some elderly woman, and.

[Brett Fesley]

I'm like, I saw the commercial.

[John Holmberg]

Show me five or more. More. Because there can't be many left. And even if they were part of it, they were babies. They don't remember.

[Troy Hayden]

I've got to tell you something. I would give money to that.

[John Holmberg]

Would you?

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, Before, I'd give money to aids. Because AIDS is a choice. I mean, not like you're not going in, going, I'm gonna have sex and get aids.

[John Holmberg]

It's not that.

[Brett Fesley]

Right.

[Troy Hayden]

But if you are rolling the dice.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Troy Hayden]

And I don't think they really rolled the dice during the Holocaust.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Troy Hayden]

But I don't think it was like.

[John Holmberg]

But it's been like 80 years. You could have been able to get on your feet by now if you're. If you still need a charity to help you out. And you're blaming all the Village.

[Brett Fesley]

What they're showing is. It's ridiculous.

[John Holmberg]

She's been there since she's an infant.

[Troy Hayden]

Well, I'll tell you.

[John Holmberg]

And there can't be more than three or four.

[Troy Hayden]

I'm still sold.

[John Holmberg]

You're sold on that? I'm still sold. All right, well, I have envelopes on the way out. You can put your money in, whichever one you choose. I'm with you on that, though. Age is hard to catch it, really. You have to do some work.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, I would. I would.

[John Holmberg]

Intravenous drug use. A lot of unprotected anal sex with people who are intravenous drug users. You can avoid it. Yeah. This is the commercial for the.

[Troy Hayden]

Well, now that I heard what you just said, I might have aids.

[John Holmberg]

With no food and no heat, they get weaker. No food or heat. But they're blaming the Holocaust. I want you to see. I'm just saying they've had time to get back on their feet, though. It's not the Holocaust fault anymore. Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

Okay, I see. I didn't understand where you were going with.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then they show pictures of the Holocaust. Makes you feel horrible.

[Troy Hayden]

That's what I'm telling you. I would, I would.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

I'm. I've already started sending money, but by.

[John Holmberg]

The time your money gets there, you're not saving them. They're 90.

[Brett Fesley]

I looked it up and there's one person like the president, and they're saying they're taking in $107 million on some of this stuff. Well, there's 5 of international fellowship of Christians and Jews.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, they're bad.

[Brett Fesley]

And the person was here in the.

[John Holmberg]

It. It's just an awkward thing when it comes on. On TV late at night and I'm like, show me. Show me. More than five survivors that are still struggling with this. I know it's going to be a memory forever, but I knew. I knew people. My ex wife's step grandparents. And this didn't turn into a porn. One of them survived the Holocaust. He was a professor at Columbia. Yeah. So, I mean, it's like 90 years later you can do this. But yeah, these charity things. AIDS is cured. That's cured. I'm tired of giving money to things that we don't need to give money to.

[Brett Fesley]

And like you said, the number. The population can't be that high. And they're asking for.

[John Holmberg]

It's like civil war survival Bread. Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

We should have that covered.

[Troy Hayden]

Think they would.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You think that would be something we could pop over? Sure. I'll give you that.

[Troy Hayden]

I'll pay for a Disneyland trip.

[John Holmberg]

I don't put blankets and bread.

[Troy Hayden]

It's so. It's just like you're barely getting by. Let's shake it up a little.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get them down to Florida and show them a good time.

[Troy Hayden]

Who wants to go to Mars? I will. Buy your ticket.

[John Holmberg]

Would you do space travel?

[Troy Hayden]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You wouldn't? Absolutely. Why?

[Troy Hayden]

Space freaks me out more than anything.

[John Holmberg]

You're in it right now.

[Troy Hayden]

I. I understand that. Don't. Damn it. Don't start with me. So when I'm in a hot tub and I look up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

And try to figure out where space ends, I can.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't.

[Troy Hayden]

I can get real breathy, real breath. You get a little inside, like what's going on with the waves in the small hot tub. And it's just my shoulders shaking back and forth trying to figure out where space is.

[John Holmberg]

First off, you're in a hot tub with strangers. Yeah. And you're staring at space, freaking out. You shouldn't be in public if that's the case. The sky scares.

[Troy Hayden]

I got to go into public. I'm trying to get aids I told you that. Where am I going to get AIDS just all by myself?

[John Holmberg]

That's true. But you literally, you look at space and it scares you. It's too big.

[Troy Hayden]

Well, it just. It's confusing because I need there to be an answer and there isn't really. I mean, other than it doesn't end, but I need there to be a finite answer.

[John Holmberg]

That is a finite.

[Troy Hayden]

That's not for me.

[John Holmberg]

No. Okay, so it's the opposite of the definition freaks me out. So it's just something you would never even dab.

[Troy Hayden]

It just keeps going. There just has to be an end.

[John Holmberg]

But you're in a plane, so you're close to closer to it. And then why not just breach out, pop out, take a look and come back?

[Troy Hayden]

No, thank you.

[John Holmberg]

You wouldn't do it.

[Troy Hayden]

I would not do it.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brett Fesley]

What is the one that. It's the Amazon, Bezos. That's the one that kind of just.

[John Holmberg]

Goes through the blue orbit and just pops up. You go out there, you see it for a second, you're like, this is crazy. It's the biggest thing. And then you come back. Back.

[Brett Fesley]

Is it because of the possibility that the. It might not come back or the failure?

[Troy Hayden]

I think it's possible. Just floating around.

[John Holmberg]

You don't like that. That's crazy.

[Troy Hayden]

Now you get out there. Like, you see the movies where people are doing these skywalks or whatever they're called.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I just did like, nothing interesting with the rope.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah. Clip where you gotta. They luckily got it with the last little mountaineer clip.

[John Holmberg]

See, because I've always said I'd take a probing from aliens for a free space ride. Like, it seems like a good trade off.

[Troy Hayden]

And I would take a probing from aliens to not get on the ship.

[John Holmberg]

I'll let you probe me.

[Troy Hayden]

I'd be like, do it here. Do it here on Earth.

[John Holmberg]

Where I live in Atlanta.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm staying here. You're fine. Explore all you want. Okay. See, I'm the opposite. Like, I would ask, what about the other way around?

[Brett Fesley]

What about water?

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh, go deep. Deep sea.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, I can go deep sea because.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it has an ending. Yep. Interesting. Yeah. Because it's encased.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have conspiracy theories in your. In your head about anything?

[Troy Hayden]

Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing at all. Nothing's a conspiracy.

[Troy Hayden]

Don't care. Don't believe anything.

[John Holmberg]

Kennedy.

[Troy Hayden]

What about him? Still alive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

Who doesn't know that? Oh, your half your head got blown off. Nice try, dude.

[John Holmberg]

We started tries a pruder fixed.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think anything Was fishy about it. See, I actually don't either. That's the conspiracy that I have, is that it was one dude shot him.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it was like, all right. And then the world went, well, that can't happen. One guy can't change and alter history this way. He's like, yeah, you can.

[Brett Fesley]

And the fact that it could have been multiple shots, right?

[John Holmberg]

No, don't think so. I think. I think we try to make it huge, and it's really not that big.

[Troy Hayden]

I think it was his wife.

[John Holmberg]

You think they're always behind it. Wait, you think Jackie Kennedy killed Kennedy himself right there in the car?

[Troy Hayden]

No, No, I don't think she pulled the trigger. I think it was the nagging. And then while he was going, he stuck a cherry bomb in his ear. Ear. Lit it, and was like, watch this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

I don't do the dishes enough. I'm the president. Half a head gone, cherry bomb.

[Brett Fesley]

No one ever looked at that.

[John Holmberg]

This is the. This is the most reasonable one I've heard.

[Troy Hayden]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

I always say suicide. That's my. That's my. If. If I have one conspiracy theory, it's there are no murders.

[John Holmberg]

All suicide. Always.

[Brett Fesley]

Maybe in the 80,000 pages, they talked about going by a fireworks stand.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe I'll pull over here. I can't take another word.

[Brett Fesley]

Sam's firework.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know why I brought you to Texas. Yeah. And truthfully, how did she get out of there on, like, nothing? Yeah, I'm gonna go with what you say. He killed himself. What about this? Did you watch the Gabby Petito thing? Okay, she's the one that drove cross country with her boyfriend, and then they had this big documentary, and he killed her in Utah, but they started in Florida, and they were living in a van.

[Troy Hayden]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And. And when you watch the documentary, you realize, oh, one of the two of them was gonna kill the other one. This is inevitable. You can't car ride.

[Brett Fesley]

It's not even a van. It's that Ford connect, the real small.

[Troy Hayden]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Two of them.

[John Holmberg]

You can't do 40 days in a car with anyone without killing them. So I'm watching that, and I'm like, it was him or her. It just so happened he won. Yeah, absolutely.

[Troy Hayden]

You don't think that there were more animals than we have. And then they got on the ark. 40 days. Started just killing each other for. It's too long.

[John Holmberg]

Absolutely.

[Brett Fesley]

Cabin fever.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

I like your Kennedy theory. Do you think we've been to the moon? No. You don't think we've been to the moon and you're not in a conspiracy the. At all.

[Troy Hayden]

No, I just. I think that is the conspiracy that we did go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So you think we spaked it? Sure. All right.

[Troy Hayden]

Now, I don't want to talk to anyone that's going to punch me in the face over, but see that happen once in a while.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Troy Hayden]

I don't think you went smack on the ground.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's usually just John Glenn or one of the guys who actually went up there. Buzz punching dudes.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah, they don't want him to, but.

[John Holmberg]

That one's one you're kind of like. Nah, I don't think so.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, I don't. I think a lot of people have moon rocks that they overpaid for.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, because they were just rocks from gravel Tucson or something. Yeah, right. Interesting. Chad Daniels is a fascinating man. And that cherry bomb theory holds water to me. And I don't know why. Maybe I'm dumb. Because that really resonated with me is.

[Troy Hayden]

Like, well, the way you said maybe I'm dumb makes you think that you think I'm dumb. How does that work?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't think that it's the smartest theory, but I do think it has some weight.

[Troy Hayden]

Maybe. I have had three consecutive fights in three consecutive phone calls, and I'm thinking about sticking a cherry bomb in my ear, and that's all I can think about.

[John Holmberg]

So you have the.

[Troy Hayden]

Maybe it's not my actual theory. Maybe it's just I'm planning a little something.

[John Holmberg]

I think OJ Lives in all of us. Deep down, it's like it's the old Aries Spears line. I'm not condoning it, but I understand it. I know what happened here. Do you think Nicole Brown Simpson took her own life? No. Well, you said the no murders.

[Troy Hayden]

I think that was Marcus Allen.

[John Holmberg]

You don't even think we got the wrong running back? Oh, my God. Yeah. Easily.

[Troy Hayden]

Marcus Allen.

[John Holmberg]

No one ever looked at the same number. Number. If he's wearing a jersey, we could have very easily been fooled. Franco Harris, Marcus Allen, all those greats could have killed her.

[Troy Hayden]

When I. When I was a junior in high school, we.

[John Holmberg]

We.

[Troy Hayden]

I was in this chemistry class and we figured out that a saline solution could break electrical circuits. And so we put it in a 2 liter. We put saline solution in a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew and we sprayed it into the dollar changer of a pop machine.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Troy Hayden]

And it cut all the circuits. So if you push the coke, push the Coke button. All the Coke would come out and all the change started to go. So we did this 12 times, which becomes a felony because it's so many.

[Brett Fesley]

Pop machines and the money.

[Troy Hayden]

And we were like, how did we get caught? And then we realized one of the driver of the car was wearing his football jersey from high school and he was at the private school across town. So it was like the easiest thing in the world defined.

[John Holmberg]

So were you in it more for the change or the soda?

[Troy Hayden]

I was in it more for just.

[John Holmberg]

The excitement, the thrills of being a bad man. Absolutely. Chick dig a bad boy. Yeah. Did you get laid out of this deal?

[Troy Hayden]

Absolutely not.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's a shame.

[Troy Hayden]

But I did. I did pay my restitution in quarters, and nobody thought it was funny, but.

[John Holmberg]

Did you have to go to jail? Didn't have to go to jail.

[Troy Hayden]

Went to the jail house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

Then my mom came that night to get me. And I could hear her breathing on the way home, she was so mad.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Troy Hayden]

And she had her hand on the headrest behind my head. And I said. It was maybe 2 inches from my head. And I said, oh, come on, have a Coke and a smile. And she almost knocked my teeth out with a flick of her hand. A flick of her hand.

[John Holmberg]

How much did it cost? Do you remember?

[Troy Hayden]

It was 5,000 something. 5,000. And it was between the three of us.

[John Holmberg]

So when you first did it, you looked at each other like, this is going to be a habit until it's not. Like the first time you did the thrill was going to stay until.

[Troy Hayden]

Oh, absolutely.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And still damage was done. Yeah. You didn't think, you're going to be doing this for the next 40 years?

[Troy Hayden]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You. Deep down, you knew this has an expiration 12 machines, and you didn't notice that the dude with the name on his shirt was tagging along like.

[Troy Hayden]

You didn't tell him we knew, just. We didn't think anything of it because we were out. It was night. I live in a small town in.

[Brett Fesley]

Northern Minnesota, so the person that saw or identified the jersey, he was getting ready.

[Troy Hayden]

Remember the restaurant, Hardee's?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

He was getting some new special ready. He was the manager. He was across the street in one of these pop machines, and he's like, three in the morning getting this thing ready because we got.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, we got new biscuits.

[Troy Hayden]

Oh, my God.

[Brett Fesley]

Nailed.

[Troy Hayden]

Find that guy.

[John Holmberg]

So the Hardee's menu change foiled the whole thing?

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's crazy.

[Troy Hayden]

You couldn't have waited one day?

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Is that your only Felony? Yeah. It is your only. And how old were you?

[Troy Hayden]

17. So it was expunged, wiped away.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So three months later, so you feel like you got, like, a new lease on felonies. You want to try and another one?

[Troy Hayden]

I'm waiting.

[John Holmberg]

Has anyone come up to you since then?

[Troy Hayden]

I'm lying in wait.

[John Holmberg]

Was there a scam quickly after that? You're like, guys too soon. Like, do you have friends that want. How do you discover the saline blows up? Coke machine?

[Troy Hayden]

Well, because we. I took advanced chemistry because I wasn't good at chemistry, but I knew my partners would want to get an A, so they would do all the work if I didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Very smart.

[Troy Hayden]

And so that's why I took that class. And that's. We figured that out in class.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Troy Hayden]

But, I mean, my old man, he had me help him steal a car.

[John Holmberg]

Your dad did?

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, he stole my identity. So I was like. I feel like I was destined.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. One of these.

[Troy Hayden]

But I got it in before 18, so that felt good.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, your dad stole your identity? At what age?

[Troy Hayden]

Stole my identity when I was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Troy Hayden]

Maybe 16ish. I'm gonna say.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What do you do with it?

[Troy Hayden]

Just went and got an apartment. Phone, electric, all of it. Put everything. So when I went to college, then I found out they were like, well, you can't.

[John Holmberg]

You can't do anything. Yeah. They.

[Troy Hayden]

They ran my credit report, and it said that I owed a woman named Karen Ward child support. And that is my mother.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

So that's amazing. Wow.

[Troy Hayden]

I got home, and I was like.

[John Holmberg]

What'S going on with this?

[Troy Hayden]

And she said, that's. That's what your father sounds like when he orgas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's too much. So.

[Troy Hayden]

But no, no, no. So. So I had to get all that taken care of.

[John Holmberg]

Of.

[Troy Hayden]

And then I bought a car. It had a problem with the engine, so I had to get a rental car from the place while they fixed it. My dad heard about this, called me to go get lunch. Disappeared from lunch for 20 minutes. And then about two weeks later, when I returned the rental car, he called me for a ride. And I go, yeah, no problem. So go get him. And I go, where are we going? And he goes, you got to go to the. The car dealership.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

And he had. When? At lunch.

[Chad Daniels]

Lunch.

[Troy Hayden]

Taken my keys and made a copy of the key for the rental car and got in, stole the car, drove to Las Vegas, because he was.

[John Holmberg]

But you drove him to the place that he's gonna steal.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, but I didn't. I Didn't know that at the time. And then he took off to Las Vegas because he was on the lam for writing bad checks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Troy Hayden]

Back to prison.

[Brett Fesley]

Was it gambling or was it just gambling?

[Troy Hayden]

A bunch of stuff, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Were you on speaking terms for. Or did you just cut him out of your life after the.

[Troy Hayden]

After that? So he gave me. So my mom collected printed weird dollar bills, like error cards. So they were either off center, Right. And there was one where both sides were printed on the same side. Both sides of the bill. And so my dad heard that this. At this coin show in Las Vegas. He goes, hey, man, there's a dime that had both sides stamped on the same side. And it went for a million bucks. So he goes, I gotta come back and get that thing. And I go, well, it's not yours, Right? And then finally he kept calling, kept calling. I go, here, here's the deal. You come get this. But then that is it. Yeah, I am not going to.

[John Holmberg]

And you gave him the broken dollars?

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah, I gave him the one with the double side. And he goes, hey, if I sell it, I'll split it with you. I go, now you won't. But before I gave it to him, I made him arm wrestle me because he used to arm wrestle me when I was a little kid and just kick the living hell out of me every time. And I was like, finally a man. And I go, let's arm wrestle.

[John Holmberg]

That was it. That was it. And that's the last time you guys hung out and you beat him, hopefully in the arm wrestling. Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

And I was probably.

[John Holmberg]

Probably.

[Troy Hayden]

Yes. 25.

[John Holmberg]

And that was the last time you had any interaction. Yeah, no kidding. And did he go back to jail?

[Troy Hayden]

I think he's deed.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you don't even know if he's alive.

[Troy Hayden]

But my sister and I just agreed to tell everyone he's dead because it's easier.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? You're not curious?

[Troy Hayden]

Not really.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're not worried ladies up to something and, like, no names and things are being stolen again?

[Troy Hayden]

I would have already been asked for money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true.

[Brett Fesley]

How about he's probably hanging out with Jim Morrison.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, what a story.

[Troy Hayden]

That's why when people go, oh, so many people died on 9 11. I go, I don't know, there's probably an island with a lot of people that are talking about taking the day off that day.

[John Holmberg]

Business executive. So when. Like, when. When did your dad leave the family initially? Did you know him as a kid? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yep.

[Troy Hayden]

Up until probably 20, he used to do this thing. So he'd live across town, but we'd only see him twice a year.

[John Holmberg]

So your parents were divorced early on.

[Brett Fesley]

Your mom liked the bad boys?

[Troy Hayden]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

And then one day. So for Christmas, he would always start dating someone around Thanksgiving.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

And then talk them into buying us presents. So we'd always go over there and.

[John Holmberg]

Get like, all right, this is great.

[Troy Hayden]

Where's my tv?

[John Holmberg]

And some new step lady would give you a television.

[Troy Hayden]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

Why did your mom and dad get divorced?

[Troy Hayden]

Oh, man. Just lots of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Just for a year. But she tolerated him for a while.

[Troy Hayden]

Well, they told us it wasn't our fault, so it wasn't our fault.

[John Holmberg]

Us.

[Troy Hayden]

It was not the kids.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think he was okay before the kids? Was your mom moving around with a decent guy and they were 18?

[Troy Hayden]

I think, you know, it's like drugs.

[John Holmberg]

And, you know, your mom's normal hooks in it.

[Troy Hayden]

Pretty.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty normal. Yeah. But comparatively, like. Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

Then very.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay, if we're doing juxtaposition, that. Yeah, that's crazy. And you came out somewhat okay.

[Troy Hayden]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Other than 12 machines, I mean, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, every kid does something. Was your dad proud of you for the Coke machine bandit thing?

[Troy Hayden]

No, I don't think he ever found out.

[John Holmberg]

He never did. Wimby's listening now.

[Troy Hayden]

I probably. Yeah, maybe. Dad, if you're listening, we're gonna bring. There were 12 of them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Mr. Daniels, I'm not sure if that's your name. Come on in. Let's have him pop in a full dozen. That's amazing, Chad. That's a great story. I think I like that. That should be a movie.

[Troy Hayden]

I think you should, too.

[John Holmberg]

I think you should write that.

[Troy Hayden]

Like I say to everybody. Hey, you want to write the thing? Just send me a check. I don't need to be in it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't need to do anything. Just. There's a good idea for you.

[Troy Hayden]

Go into the mailbox.

[John Holmberg]

Beautiful Chad. At the Tempe Improv tonight and. Or no tomorrow and Saturday if you Want to go. Tempimprov.com Leave us with words of wisdom, sir. Anything you can do to change people for the better or maybe even the worse. It's up to you. Anything on your mind? If you were king for a day, what's the first thing you. You'd change?

[Troy Hayden]

Oh, kindergarten class runs the country.

[John Holmberg]

For a day? For a.

[Troy Hayden]

For a full term.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Troy Hayden]

Because it would just be a lot easier. You wouldn't have all, you know, they haven't been poisoned with their money yet. And I have.

[John Holmberg]

I have a thing that. I think everybody who's in political office should have down syndrome. They're nicer. They don't want to fight. All the documents would only be like a page long and probably include, like, jelly beans at the end.

[Troy Hayden]

One voice gets raised, everyone's hugging.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Troy Hayden]

I'm into it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I mean, imagine Putin and Trump, if they had Down Symbols syndrome, trying to discuss this war.

[Troy Hayden]

It's not that hard to imagine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We're not going too far off the reservation here. But if they like it, got upset, they just start crying and hugging each other and start over because.

[Brett Fesley]

Did he win?

[John Holmberg]

I like your idea.

[Brett Fesley]

From South America. Had down syndrome. I think he.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. They had that one guy that was running for office and had down syndrome. And I'm like, this is a good idea.

[Troy Hayden]

I went to high school with a kid, down syndrome, Dave. And he.

[John Holmberg]

And he had his name.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

And he had a badge in his waist.

[John Holmberg]

Wallet.

[Troy Hayden]

In high school.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

And this. Now I've been out of high school for 30 some years. Something like that. And I'll see him at the grocery store in my hometown and I'll go, sheriff. And he'll pull his wallet out, still has the badge, and we give a hug to each other.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Troy Hayden]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Truth. That's fantastic.

[Troy Hayden]

I like your idea.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's good. I like your kindergarten thing. We could maybe combine them and have, like a parliament of this. Yeah.

[Troy Hayden]

Just like, hey, what do you think should happen if a woman gets pregnant and doesn't want to have the baby? I don't know. Give her Skittles. Sounds so much better.

[John Holmberg]

Just get pizza.

[Troy Hayden]

So much.

[John Holmberg]

They just hand you free stuff right now.

[Brett Fesley]

Take it. Nap. Little nap.

[John Holmberg]

Nap. Time for Congress when it gets a little heated. Probably a good idea. Awesome. Well, thank you very much. It's good to see you, and I hope you enjoy it out. Well, we.

[Troy Hayden]

You know what?

[John Holmberg]

We will.

[Troy Hayden]

It's just going to take some time.

[John Holmberg]

Takes time and everything heals with time. Eventually. That's amazing. Chad Daniels. Thank you for coming in. It's 98 KUPD.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett Fesley]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Chad Daniels]

He's evil.

[John Holmberg]

Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. There's Dale's mic. That's it. This a bit. Look at this Brady, there's a packed house of people having conversations and one of them is human and then the other is Dale. Dale Hellis joined us once.

[Dale Hellestra]

Championships this side.

[John Holmberg]

There are trophies on that side of the table.

[Dale Hellestra]

How they are on that side.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, what are we talking about? Like man of the year? I was just named man of the year a couple of weeks ago. That's true. Ron Capps is also here. That's the other half of the current championships. Not those old timey, you know, before they let people of color in the sport.

[Ron Capps]

Rib fest championships.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, Braze.

[Brett Fesley]

I got a USTA tennis national champion.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Brett Fesley]

2016.

[John Holmberg]

But it was what, 40 plus, right? Yeah, it had an age thing on it. But that's still a championship for age.

[Brett Fesley]

Great question, Dale.

[John Holmberg]

It was age.

[Brett Fesley]

Age.

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure it wasn't both? Because that's a good question.

[Brett Fesley]

Well, if it was, then I'm two time champ.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Ron Caps is here. NHRA is in town once again. And you're here. Usually coming on a Friday, but you're so busy that you came down on Thursday. So first off, thank you. And second, thanks for making Dale's segment so good already. It's better than the normal Thursdays.

[Ron Capps]

Legendary. I'm gonna miss the Guadalupe Square. That was the most bum part about not coming in first Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you'll be all right.

[Ron Capps]

I'll be listening.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. All right. Well, we'll throw in. I don't know. And. And we. I don't want to do John Force anymore because that horrible accident and we used to always make fun of him and stuff.

[Ron Capps]

Well, Nick. No, well, I mean, not Nick Noldy. Who did you mix? Yeah, so same thing.

[John Holmberg]

I could just throw Gary.

[Ron Capps]

He fell off a motorcycle and years he did.

[John Holmberg]

You got to give it some time before.

[Troy Hayden]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

I don't make fun of Dale's head injuries quite yet. Of course I did.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, we did. He doesn't remember it, but yeah, we.

[Ron Capps]

Go after we just talked to Force and he is like his normal self, man. He was talking business. And really y.

[John Holmberg]

That crash.

[Ron Capps]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

Spectacularly bad.

[Ron Capps]

We should have lost him. I mean, I don't know how he survived. It's typical, you know, he's like Elvis. The guy is just. He just keeps coming. He's been the worst accidents. It's anybody. The rest of us would have probably died from that. And he.

[Brett Fesley]

Or even quit.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, definitely quit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, for sure. Dale, have you ever been to the nhra?

[Dale Hellestra]

I have not. I was going to ask you a couple of questions. So is this the funny ones or the straight ones where you go 300 miles out?

[Ron Capps]

Straight. But it's the ones with the body on them. And then they had the dragsters, the long skinny ones. But I drive the car looking ones.

[Dale Hellestra]

Okay, three.

[John Holmberg]

Three.

[Dale Hellestra]

Wanting to do that. Was that like your a goal or did you just get into it?

[Ron Capps]

I wanted to be Don the Snake. You know, when I was a kid. The snake and the mongoose and Big Daddy and Hot Wheels. Yeah, Hot Wheels. So yeah, I wanted to do it.

[Dale Hellestra]

Okay, you're from Tennessee?

[Ron Capps]

California.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Ron Capps]

Where'd he get Tennessee?

[Brett Fesley]

Maybe NASCAR probably or something like that.

[Dale Hellestra]

Not down south.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you could ask him too. Are you a mongoloid? Because you were asking everybody else, don't you?

[Dale Hellestra]

Only one.

[Ron Capps]

I'm from the Bronx. Can you tell?

[John Holmberg]

He's from San Diego, for God's sakes. Why did you think Tennessee? There's no.

[Dale Hellestra]

I heard a twang. And that's where car races.

[John Holmberg]

That's sort of racist in a weird way. You just assumed hillbilly from Tennessee.

[Dale Hellestra]

Cuz he likes car racy Castle J.

[John Holmberg]

And you love. Yes. And you love country music. Yes. Do you like country music? Music? Run.

[Ron Capps]

I'll listen to it, but I don't.

[John Holmberg]

The worst it just. The brain cells die every time a note is hit. In a country where I start getting.

[Ron Capps]

In trouble, I always fear this.

[John Holmberg]

I'm telling you man, country music's the worst. And Dale's proof of it. Like because it's an audience full of Dales.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah, that's the last looking debonair.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's exactly it. Just singing about, you know, chewing tobacco.

[Brett Fesley]

Although I haven't mounted. You know like Shaboozi and the Beyonce get into.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, yeah. When talented people got involved, you're like wow, there's something this.

[Dale Hellestra]

But Beyonce talented.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, see now here we go. Beyonce.

[Dale Hellestra]

It's not like Nodding Hill, you know, that carries a. David Dale's favorite movie.

[John Holmberg]

Just found out that this Neanderthal's favorite movie is Notting Hill. Do you remember Notting Hill? You don't cuz you're a man.

[Ron Capps]

What's his name?

[John Holmberg]

Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. Yeah. If you looked at him, you have.

[Dale Hellestra]

Thought probably that or My Best friend's wedding.

[Ron Capps]

Oh my believable.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'd have thought that. What was that movie with Ringo starr as a B.C. caveman. B.C. maybe that would be something you'd follow.

[Brett Fesley]

A little easier Plan of the cave Bear.

[John Holmberg]

Were you were a football fan, Ron. Were you A Charger fan growing up.

[Ron Capps]

No, no. Niners.

[John Holmberg]

You're a Niners.

[Ron Capps]

Oh, I grew up in central California, so you had to pick, and it was always Niners for me.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so Dale, that was in the wheelhouse of when you had eight, the Cowboy teams. He was on big time. Yeah, it was.

[Dale Hellestra]

It was a great rivalry.

[Ron Capps]

Big time.

[Dale Hellestra]

Now, were you. Were you ever a candlestick? Were you ever throwing crap at us walking on the field?

[Ron Capps]

I didn't throw. I was. I wasn't close enough, but I. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But if you were, would you have thrown things at that?

[Ron Capps]

Definitely.

[John Holmberg]

I. I want you.

[Ron Capps]

Such epic matchups back then.

[John Holmberg]

Dale, would you get up and come back in so Ron can live his dream? Give him a couple heavy things to talk.

[Ron Capps]

The way he walked, man. Like, that dude's played a lot of years.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

17.

[John Holmberg]

17 years. And he was a center, long snapper, lineman and stuff. So he was bent over the whole time. Well, he was gonna live his life that way no matter what, but it happened. He chose football.

[Ron Capps]

Now, luckily.

[Brett Fesley]

Luckily football found him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dale Hellestra]

And we found out we both got three championships.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Yeah. And that's a good thing.

[Dale Hellestra]

So there's six in this room.

[John Holmberg]

And he still has a chance for more.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, he does.

[John Holmberg]

He could win his fourth this year.

[Dale Hellestra]

I'll be cheering for him now that I know him. I got so many cheer.

[John Holmberg]

I think you met him before.

[Dale Hellestra]

I don't think.

[John Holmberg]

I think did. Wasn't Dale here once before? You don't remember?

[Ron Capps]

I don't remember.

[John Holmberg]

Both you had to wear helmets for a career. So I'm gonna trust my. I'm gonna trust my knowledge of this.

[Dale Hellestra]

Drinks.

[John Holmberg]

I think you guys have actually. I think you've gone on vacations together.

[Brett Fesley]

Dale wouldn't remember he was on your shoulders last time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I really don't think somebody says. Ask Ron what manufacturer he'll be running next season. Toyota's leaving.

[Ron Capps]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Are you going back to Dodge?

[Ron Capps]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know. So why is Toyota.

[Brett Fesley]

You're a free agent?

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, they. They. When I became an owner, they jumped on board, which just changed my life. So it's been great. But they are getting out of drag racing. But they also told us throughout the year it's going to be like normal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

And they're even giving me two more bodies going in the next year, so it's.

[John Holmberg]

So you can hang on to what they've got.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, I'm hoping to stay in maybe at a smaller scale. Just, Just to help a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Is it just a money thing? They've decided to kind of.

[Ron Capps]

They had a new guy in charge at Toyota come in which always. You never know what's going to happen when that happens. And I think they're going to spend more. More money on the road racing side maybe or something.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Ron Capps]

So maybe. We'll see.

[John Holmberg]

And you.

[Ron Capps]

I'd like to win a championship and then entice them to stay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then stick around. Right. So that's your job this year. Yeah. Is to go out there and grab another trophy.

[Ron Capps]

We don't know, we haven't contacted. You know, there's Fords with Taska, there's Chevy's, the Dodges are out there. Tony Stewart with Dodge. So there's a lot of different manufacturers.

[John Holmberg]

Out there and when they come to. They come to you, I hope.

[Ron Capps]

I don't know. Yeah, I guess I'm gonna start worrying probably.

[John Holmberg]

September, October, you don't have a ride.

[Brett Fesley]

Hey, folks, not rigging, man.

[Ron Capps]

But most manufacturers, if they called and had a meeting like Toyota did and said we're done, we're pulling out of drag racing, they would have said probably immediately. Give back our cars. Give back, you know, the support car. I got a car at home that they give me. But these, Toyota was great. They said keep that this year. Keep your tow vehicle. I mean you're talking ninety hundred thousand dollar tow vehicles like our Sequoia. So yeah, they've been great.

[John Holmberg]

So their feet may still be in the water, I hope.

[Ron Capps]

We're just quietly hoping.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Which is. Yeah. So you go win the title now. You got to do that past it. First off, pastel. That's the goal. That's better than throwing stuff, first and foremost.

[Brett Fesley]

Almost.

[Ron Capps]

This is my 30th year of driving.

[Dale Hellestra]

30. You look 42.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that was sweet.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, I'll be 60.

[Dale Hellestra]

No, you look better than John.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's true. I would normally I'd have an argument with. Yeah. There's really no fight here. 40 years. Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Yeah. And you 30. Dale. You've already forgotten his answer.

[Dale Hellestra]

30, 40 years.

[John Holmberg]

You said he looked.

[Dale Hellestra]

Any bad accidents?

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Tell them about your balls.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah. My one ball.

[John Holmberg]

He only has one ball. Tell him why this is always fun to watch somebody's reaction to Ron's ball.

[Ron Capps]

Well, now every fan is going to come up again. Every time you bring this up, well.

[John Holmberg]

You can't help it. You got a great ball story.

[Brett Fesley]

Legendary.

[Ron Capps]

My first year driving, I drove for Don Perdome. The Snake. Right? Another legend. And my rookie year, the seat belts. Every time I hit the parachutes, they weren't right. But I didn't want to complain about them. And every time. Time I'd be thrown forward. It's like negative 6 or 7 GS. It would crush one of my boys.

[Dale Hellestra]

Ultimate wedgie was always the same ball?

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, Pretty much. Yeah. And it just pretty much kept crushing it until I had to see a doctor because it just was inflamed every Monday after a race.

[Brett Fesley]

Pancake.

[Ron Capps]

And I didn't complain because I was, like, driving for the Snake. I'm not gonna complain about it. The seat. And once he found out, we fixed the seat like it should have in and.

[John Holmberg]

But you pancake. One of your balls is a pancake. And it's still in the back.

[Dale Hellestra]

There's been one football player I played with that I know we called him. His last name was Radissack or Radissacker. And nobody wears cups when you're playing football. And he's a linebacker. Came shoveled on the line. Scrimmage and offensive lineman's heel.

[John Holmberg]

Ouch.

[Dale Hellestra]

And now he's. It was one ball. Radissack is it.

[John Holmberg]

It blew a ball up in the sack.

[Dale Hellestra]

On one kick.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus.

[Dale Hellestra]

On one kick.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Ron. Dale thinks you've been doing this for 60 years. You've confused him. But when do you think you'll say that's enough's enough? When is. When is the. Ron, I know you still love it because we talked about a little bit before, but you say 30 years and I think. Man. Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

I don't. You know, with Force not driving and my publicist brought it up last. Our first race of the season. I'm the winningest driver. Active driver. Right. Which you never think about. I'm always been number two to John Force, and I'm perfectly happy to be mentioned in same breath.

[John Holmberg]

It's incredible. What a career. Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

I don't. I feel like I'm still.

[John Holmberg]

You still want it? Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

And wanting to drive and fight. And we're. We haven't announced it officially yet, but we're bringing a Top Fuel dragster out with a girl driver who is a current driver in a lower class. And we're going to announce that here in a couple weeks.

[John Holmberg]

How about that?

[Ron Capps]

So it'll be a Top Fuel team added.

[John Holmberg]

Did you think when you started this it would be this big?

[Ron Capps]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Because I don't even think when I first met you, you thought this would be this big.

[Dale Hellestra]

You've been.

[John Holmberg]

You've been coming, seeing us for 12, 15 years now.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah. And I don't know that I just thought about tomorrow. Like I was driving for Snake and it was, you know, get up and win a race and stay up and you know, have a great time and just not even thinking about down the road.

[Chad Daniels]

Right.

[Ron Capps]

You just think about, you know, what's next week, next race, let's win another race. And I don't, I never thought that far out.

[John Holmberg]

But the truly endearing thing of when you first started to show up here was like your passion for this was real. Like this was just like, I'm enjoying this, I'm going, I'm living a dream. And I don't. Yeah, like you said, like when I first met you, I think I would have said, I think he's just doing it for day to day stuff. But now. Yeah, I mean, come on.

[Ron Capps]

I went 20 something years and hung out with these guys every race and hadn't won a championship. So I was like the Phil Mickelson.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

And so. And then all of a sudden two then won a championship and then two in a row and it just boom, boom, boom. So these guys used to give me crap and like that was that.

[John Holmberg]

We had the same amount of titles as him. I hadn't spent a penny on drag racing. I'd done just as changed nothing.

[Ron Capps]

All of a sudden it just, it just happened really. I came.

[Dale Hellestra]

You didn't get better equipment.

[Ron Capps]

I had come so close like five different times within like a fraction of winning, like on the very last day being like at the altar and just being crushed and not winning. So I was also known as the guy that almost did it like five times.

[John Holmberg]

The bridesmaid of a funny car.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah. So they had a lot of fun with it over the years and all of a sudden it was one championship. Then another year went by and then two in a row, row.

[Dale Hellestra]

And it was my curiosity is, does it matter to the team you have around you?

[Ron Capps]

I had great teams, won a lot of races and just, it just never clicked.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes it's like the weather too and.

[Ron Capps]

It'S like you guys, we have a playoff system. It's the last six races. So they even, they, they even the points out and then it's a six race blast for who won a championship. So you got to be good at.

[Dale Hellestra]

That at the right time.

[Ron Capps]

So it's like you guys, you know, you play the series season getting ready for the playoffs and then you lose, you're done.

[Brett Fesley]

Make the playoffs.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, yeah, you can, you could lose 2, 3 4, 5 games in the regular season. And then if you're hitting on all cylinders.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

So to speak.

[Ron Capps]

That's exactly.

[Dale Hellestra]

Look at that.

[Ron Capps]

And it finally happened.

[John Holmberg]

Just. That's outstanding. And now we can't make fun of him. I have to, like, look at him with reverence and like, he's a legend. He's got three championships. I don't know anybody.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't look at him that way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

Why don't you look at me with reference?

[John Holmberg]

All right, hang on. Let me rephrase that. It's tough how rephrase it. He's earned three championships. I feel. I feel. I feel Ron's really done the work.

[Dale Hellestra]

Hanging on the steering wheel.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go.

[Dale Hellestra]

Don't blow up, baby.

[John Holmberg]

Ron, rebuttal? Cuz T's made a pretty strong point. Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

Sometimes I open my eyes even. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Dale, if you've never been, you got to go to this.

[Dale Hellestra]

I've never been. No.

[Ron Capps]

You want to come out this week and we'll get you set up.

[John Holmberg]

You stand next to that thing. It. It's. It changes your brain. It's. It's the. It's.

[Ron Capps]

It's right here in Chandler, too. It's not far. I got to come out. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Phenomenal how awesome the sound is, actually. Yeah. It's Saturday, right? You're going out there?

[Brady Bogan]

I'll be out there Saturday.

[Ron Capps]

Friday. Saturday and Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

I haven't been for a couple years. So I. I might get out there. I. I take people who don't go every time, and I'm like, just stand here with me. And don't cover your ears the first time. Do it later. But don't cover yours. And even expecting it to be something they can't. You can't imagine it till you're there.

[Dale Hellestra]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's so incredible.

[Brett Fesley]

And it's more fun. All of a sudden you meet, you know, now you met Ron. Now you got someone to pull if it's exciting now.

[Dale Hellestra]

But what's your top speed?

[Ron Capps]

339 in a thousand feet.

[Dale Hellestra]

Now you're saying 339 miles per hour.

[Brett Fesley]

Miles per hour.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, we were talking about it earlier. It's like the Boston Cel Celtics sold for 6.1. We. It was 6.1 billion. But it's like you just. Do you realize how much money that is?

[John Holmberg]

300.

[Dale Hellestra]

You just said 339. 339 miles an hour.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you don't know about me. I hold the track record because I actually did one of those races and I. And what a 605 or something. I don't remember what it was.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, yeah. On your Schwinn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Actually, more surprising, it was a man powered, which is. Didn't even have an engine. Don't need it. But yeah, you know, it's. I've been in one that was. They still do that. The liability is just ridiculous on that. They. They have two guys in one car.

[Dale Hellestra]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And I sat in the back and there's a steering wheel and everything. And you feel like you got something to do.

[Ron Capps]

It doesn't do anything, but you just.

[Brett Fesley]

Got a little plastic horn to hit.

[John Holmberg]

It's the cutest thing you've ever. They give me a little hat.

[Dale Hellestra]

He's trying to hit the brake.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, there's stuff down there. And evidently, it's like a training car. Right.

[Ron Capps]

But see, I can't. I'm not a good passenger, so that would scare me. Even though it was awful.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'd rather been driving it very. I'd be like, look, if I conk out, I'll figure it out. But I don't know this guy at all.

[Ron Capps]

If you meet the person for. And you're like, this guy's gonna put my life.

[Brett Fesley]

Something goes wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we gotta take a break. But the other time I did something like that, it was the. The. The off road race racing.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Which. And the guy that was the champion's name was Twitch because he has physical Tourette's. You know, Twitch. Physical Tourette syndrome.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, he does.

[John Holmberg]

Leaping around and he's twitching and I'm like. And I couldn't feel when we'd leave the air because the cars are so cushiony soft.

[Ron Capps]

He's one of the best.

[John Holmberg]

He was amazing. And then I'm like, what is that? And he goes, I think we got an electrical fire. If that happens, just get out the window. And I'm. What do you mean, if that happens? When will I know? And he smells the air and he's like, yeah, something's burning. And I'm like, turn the car off. It's not important.

[Dale Hellestra]

My head won't fit out.

[John Holmberg]

And then so I started to fiddle with the seat belt. And I'm like, I'm dying in here. I can't figure this thing out. I had to. Somebody help me get in. Let alone pop it off and climb out a window.

[Ron Capps]

That is pathetic.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was sad. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm not gonna lie to you, Ron. It was my most manly moment. When you're crying and the dude named Twitchley please stop sobbing. They're supposed to be having fun. I'm like, I can't help it. It smells like fire. We're gonna take a break. Ron Capps is here during Dale's segment which is brought to you by our friends at prestige billiards. Three stores in the valley use. What is it? Meathead 98. Oh, he left. Meathead 98.

[Brady Bogan]

I think that's it.

[John Holmberg]

And they'll give you the discount at all of it. Prestige Billiards AZ.com. we'll have more of Ron Capps and Dale Hellestra in just moments. It's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Brett Fesley]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's bit rude. All right, it's stained right there. It's 9:40 in the morning now. Dale hellis race here for his segment brought to you by Prestige Billiards. A for now. Keep it up. And he has a guest for his own segment. World champion, three time world champion Ron Caps. Do you follow the NCAA tournament? Do you do brackets?

[Ron Capps]

I did a bracket this morning.

[John Holmberg]

You did a br.

[Ron Capps]

But I don't follow it enough. But I did one. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No one followed. Follows it. Dale does a sports show on the Internet.

[Ron Capps]

You follow it pretty closely.

[John Holmberg]

No. And then he has to talk about it with knowledge. But who's your champion? You picked a one seed. Who was it?

[Dale Hellestra]

I think I picked Houston.

[John Holmberg]

You picked Houston? Do you remember who you picked? Ryan.

[Ron Capps]

One of my brackets. It's Houston and the other one's Duke.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you doubled up. Yeah. Okay. I have Auburn. Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

That'll be gone in the first round.

[John Holmberg]

No, they won't. Why is that? What's, what's the knowledge you have?

[Dale Hellestra]

Did you hear their best player got hurt?

[John Holmberg]

So what? No. You know what I had this year? First year I ever did it, I let the computer choose it. Said, you can do it yourself. And I'm like, I don't have time for this. Auburn was big. It picked all the top seeds to go all the way and get Auburn.

[Ron Capps]

The championship final four was at Houston.

[John Holmberg]

Houston, Duke, Auburn and whoever the other one is. I didn't. St. John's St. John's okay, so those are the four and they're all in the final four for mine. And I looked and I'm like, the computer just basically went right down the Line of favorites. And I'm like, like, did it do any four 12s?

[Brett Fesley]

Five. It can't.

[John Holmberg]

It can't be any worse than I always do.

[Ron Capps]

Okay, this question. Listen, what was your tiebreaker score? Oh, it asked you like, your overall. I. I had to look it up. I'm like, what's the score?

[John Holmberg]

I did 174. Oh, wow.

[Ron Capps]

I picked 162.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good.

[Ron Capps]

Google told me that.

[Dale Hellestra]

Dale, 158.

[John Holmberg]

That's too low.

[Ron Capps]

That's a defense.

[Dale Hellestra]

Defense gets you to the championship.

[John Holmberg]

There's not going to be any of that. Oh, there's none of that. Yeah, but I just. I just let the computer choose. It's the best thing AI has ever done is let the computer choose it.

[Brett Fesley]

I went 4:12 on the tiebreaker.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a little heavy, but I'd like to see that game. I'm not going to lie. I think you've. I think you've created an awesome game in your head. And if that does.

[Brett Fesley]

Nobody's going to touch my.

[John Holmberg]

If it starts pushing 380, I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to root for you. You go fast for a living. Ron. Caps. Did you see the rockets the other day going up into the space to pick up the astronauts?

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't realize that at one point, in order to get that thing back, when they have to get up to like 18,000 miles an hour.

[Ron Capps]

Hour. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's unimaginable.

[Ron Capps]

Can you guys see when. Start when they shoot him off of Vandenberg? Do you see that? Where. So we. The first time. Do you remember the first time they did it? Like, people were crashing in la, on the highway, and in our house in San Diego. It looks like it's going the way it looks. It's going sideways.

[John Holmberg]

It looks like a missile.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, Missile going sideways. And it was like the world was coming apart and everybody freaked out until you realized what it was. But, yeah, it's.

[John Holmberg]

There was one just the other night a couple weeks ago, and my. My friend Mark called, and he goes, go outside. He lives down the road. He goes, go outside and look west. And I looked and I recognized it in the past. We were playing basketball in the 90s at some park in Tempe, and we all just froze because the sky lit up in this weird bow and it started to go across. And no phones at the time. And we're like, the Russians. Like, that's how we were just, this.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it, the Russians.

[John Holmberg]

And then I immediately started Digging a hole. I was hiding. I'm not gonna. I was. I actually started looking to communism. Like, if they win, what do I have to do? I'm not. I'm not.

[Brett Fesley]

You guys all ran into the church and ducked and covered.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right. And we waited our turn.

[Dale Hellestra]

You saw Father Dale.

[John Holmberg]

I would have done anything to Father Dale at that point to get that up. Yeah. But it's horrifying.

[Ron Capps]

It looks so fake.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't look.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, it doesn't look real.

[John Holmberg]

And then the thing, like, I started to think the conspiracy theorists, because when the. When the pod landed in the Gulf of America, the. The bad part was it's like, oh, that's really neat. And then AI took over and dolphins start swimming around it. And I'm like, this isn't real. They're doing it on purpose. They just passive aggressively invited a bunch of conspiracy theorists. Dolphins aren't gonna like, just show up and hang out like on cue. It was produced and directed. So then I'm like, is it all real? Because they're throwing numbers out.

[Ron Capps]

They're robot. Elon made them. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Robot dolphins that came from space. Which is a great movie. The new company. 340 miles an hour is your speed. And that blows my mind. Eight, 18,000 miles an hour.

[Ron Capps]

I can't believe they went up and docked and then pulled two people out and brought them back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. In a day and a half. And we don't marvel at anything anymore. No. I mean, nothing. Nothing's fun.

[Ron Capps]

It's not even a headline.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Ron Capps]

And it's like two commercials in and then they show that you're like, what is going on with the world?

[John Holmberg]

I. I went to a place yesterday.

[Brett Fesley]

I just like the side effects. They put like. Like the pharmaceutical warnings.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Being up in space for eyeballs. Flatten out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You get all sorts of weird stuff starting. Start floating. I was amazed yesterday because I went to get a glass of water out of a new machine and it just said, hover your finger above this spot. And. And then you put your finger over another one and it controls the temperature. And you just put your glass down and just kind of like. It's like you're pantomiming. What? It was amazing.

[Ron Capps]

And I stood there like, finger Thursday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, A lot of fingers. A lot of fingering going on. Just hover your finger over this. Don't touch me. And I was like, I've been on this date. And then. But water shot out. That's never happened before. And I was blown away. And I stood There and played with this stupid water machine for a minute. And I'm like, we just don't marvel at any technology anymore. I plugged my new phone in the other day and I'm like, how does this charge? How does this stupid singular cord make this stupid thing hot enough or what does it just. I don't know how anything works.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, what I don't understand is you have the band battery signal on your phone, so you know when it's going down.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dale Hellestra]

Why can't they put that on a.

[John Holmberg]

Car when the battery's done? Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

With the batteries you've got, you have a car guy, you got about three starts left in this thing instead of I'm out in the middle of the desert and that's when it dies.

[John Holmberg]

But it's because it's not lithium, right? Lithium has a gauge. Yeah, but I don't even know what that means. I don't know what I'm saying. Those are words I'm saying. Like it was really sounds because I'm great at BSing my way through anything, but I don't know what anything.

[Ron Capps]

Wireless phone charging.

[John Holmberg]

That's a trick when you just put it down on a thing.

[Ron Capps]

On a thing in your car and it charges.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand how anything works through a case. Yeah. And you know, I talked to somebody Yesterday and Neil DeGrasse Tyson does a podcast and he was saying that, he said the reason that all this stuff happens, they did the, we were talking about yesterday. The, like the podcast said, if you went away in 1995 and just disappeared or died and then they brought you back to life in 2025, the argument was, could you immediately be okay or would you be so blown away? You think about it. No email, no Internet.

[Brett Fesley]

That guy that just got out of prison during that.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But at least he had the ability to read a book and have knowledge of everything. You just come back and go, here's how the world works now and you and phones, Internet, how televisions are totally different and could you do it? And one guy said, absolutely, you'd be fine. And you know why? The Jetsons, they showed us all this stuff. Star Trek, they, we knew it was possible that they had some of these, that all these ideas were real. But I don't know how anything works.

[Dale Hellestra]

See, I, I've seen the other way around to where I seen like 12 year old kids, they put a rotary phone down in front of them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

I say make a phone call, right. They p. Could you do it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, no, I know, but I mean, could you still figure out the phone or the numbers? Too many. Many. Like you just call the operator Johnny all the way around. Johnny 0. This one gets me where I need to go. Yeah. But I always think that kind of stuff's amazing because what you're doing is so technologically superior and advanced. Now eventually that's going to be electric cars.

[Ron Capps]

Probably.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I mean eventually that's going to be.

[Brett Fesley]

Faster than battery race.

[Ron Capps]

They have exhibitions and it's weird because all you hear is the tire screeching for like six seconds because they're going.

[John Holmberg]

To get to 400 miles an hour in the.

[Ron Capps]

Because those things just on or off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They just go.

[Ron Capps]

You know, it's funny you say that when I won the awards ceremonies like in 9, like it might have been my rookie year, they did a ESPN at the time did a kickoff to the show and they predicted the future and in it my son had just been born. They said it's caden caps and they made up a name of force as like grandkid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

And they said and the light turns green and they show the cars and they're going. They're like two funny car looking things. And then they do a loop, like a hot wheels loop. And then they shoot in the air and it's so funny. I'd love to find that footage because it's like they're thinking of the future. Like, how are we going to make this?

[John Holmberg]

What's it going to do? What is the future? What do you think? Like 25 years from now? What is. What does any of this look like in nhra?

[Ron Capps]

Well, now that he's a president, maybe a few more. You know, I thought electrical drag racing electric cars were going to be like less than five years.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really? You. That was really close. I figured it would just be a category.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, I figured you'd still be sort of is now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They run it, but it's almost like novelty, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like when they used to run those. Those jets.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It was just like one run and it was all over. Never really.

[Ron Capps]

They might do it Saturday that sometimes they'll bring them out and do exhibition runs and the fans are like, what is this? No sound. And the sound is quiet. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So it's quiet. Have you driven one of those?

[Ron Capps]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You haven't done one yet.

[Ron Capps]

I got a buddy, it's got the plaid Tesla and he's always wants to take me for a ride and I'm like, that's. I hate when people try to scare me because I'm a race car driver. And like in a boat, they're like, come give me. I'll give you a ride. My boat, it goes 100. And I'm like, no.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

But this guy has the plaid, and supposedly it's 0 to 60. Whatever that is, is pretty.2 seconds. Is that what it is?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, a little. A little under two seconds. Yeah. I got two of them. Yeah, I wrecked the first one, actually. Near you? Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

Outside of Carlsbad.

[John Holmberg]

It's crazy.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah. I do remember you selling.

[John Holmberg]

It's flat crazy.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

So I do got a question for you. So you practice, do you?

[Brett Fesley]

Two days.

[Ron Capps]

We can't. It costs. Cost about between 10 and 13,000 to make one run. If it doesn't blow up. So you can't.

[John Holmberg]

It's. So wait, a clean run is 13 grand?

[Ron Capps]

If nothing breaks? Yeah, if nothing blows up, it doesn't hurt a piston.

[John Holmberg]

Best case scenario.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

Which is very rare. With that being said, we sort of have drivers. We have to wait until the team wants to test something with the car, and then it allows us we can kind of practice.

[Dale Hellestra]

Right.

[Ron Capps]

Otherwise, I have a simulator at home that I raced NASCAR and other stuff on, but you can't simulate the G forces, the sound, the smell and all that because it's just. It's like 3.8 seconds of the world flying apart. It's crazy.

[Brett Fesley]

So then, Ron, when. If the engine block goes out, then what goes 13 grand to what?

[Ron Capps]

It could be like, I blew up last year in Seattle, and it probably cost 100 and something. Thousand. Just that one run.

[John Holmberg]

Just once.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So every time you're sitting in the pits and people are walking by and you guys are gassing out the engine, thousands of dollars going out the door every time they hit the pedal.

[Ron Capps]

That's probably five or six, 7,000.

[John Holmberg]

Just, just. Just testing it. Jesus, what a sport. Dale, you're thinking to yourself, how did all these hillbillies from Tennessee get this much money to do this?

[Ron Capps]

It's a bad business plan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Now, I asked. I asked. I asked you what the future for NHRA is. Now look at Dale and tell me, is there a future for Dale? This is it.

[Ron Capps]

He's on radio, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, there's no future in that. Not just for you, Dale. The whole thing's collapsed.

[Dale Hellestra]

I come over here once a week to help your show.

[John Holmberg]

You do pretty good.

[Ron Capps]

I'm flying from Hawaii. It can't be that bad.

[John Holmberg]

He's doing pretty good, right? Yeah. We pay him well.

[Dale Hellestra]

37Th anniversary John Wow of Hawaii I.

[John Holmberg]

Think it's been around longer than 37th year wedding anniversary. Yeah. You had that. Did she go?

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Good for you.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

She finally came is what I said. Well, there. Well, happy anniversary.

[Dale Hellestra]

Well, thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Just a whole Hawaii trip.

[Dale Hellestra]

Just Hawaii? Well, I mean, come on, John.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty basic.

[Dale Hellestra]

Who did helicopter ride?

[John Holmberg]

That's fun.

[Dale Hellestra]

Dinner cruise, saw some whales, golf.

[John Holmberg]

Did she golf with you?

[Dale Hellestra]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Dale Hellestra]

That's how you make it. 37.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brett Fesley]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You keep her off the course. How long you been married?

[Ron Capps]

32 years.

[John Holmberg]

My God. Well, where's your last anniversary? Something better than Hawaii, right?

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, we went to Cabo.

[John Holmberg]

Cabo. That's nice.

[Ron Capps]

A bunch of couples.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, a whole bunch. Yeah. Where's the most exotic place you've ever traveled?

[Ron Capps]

I do a fan cruise every year. I've been doing it for like, God, 18 years.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Ron Capps]

And it goes out of different ports. Seven days and either west coast.

[John Holmberg]

Be honest. Really annoying at a certain point. Day four.

[Ron Capps]

It's not bad. We only have like 40, 50 people in there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's not bad. They.

[Ron Capps]

They all. They're. They're great because they don't just take pictures and video all the time. So we have fun and we. And a lot of stuff that probably.

[Brett Fesley]

A lot of them come back.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, they do. And so I would easily get in probably trouble. Social media if the fans that go on my cruise were not as good as they are. But they're very cool and we just have a blast and so it kind of makes it fun. And we go on the big ships like Carnival and Norwegian and all that.

[John Holmberg]

All right, so we're going to get to question.

[Ron Capps]

We've been on all over.

[John Holmberg]

You go all over. Not just Hawaii where everybody's been. Rudimentary early vacation. Are you going to take another break? We'll take a break through the Energy Entertainment Drill. Dale Hellestra is here. Ron Capps is here. And Ron's going to win another championship starting this. This week. It starts. Yeah. Tomorrow. You got. We've already run once, right? Yeah. This year. So you. Yeah. Okay. So you're going to do another one. Get that thing going. We'll take a break. We'll be back with Ron Capps and Dale hellstray Next. It's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett Fesley]

No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. I don't want to hear the music.

[Ron Capps]

Wait, what did you say?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. Shut up, Dale, for God's sakes. Anyway, it's Ron Caps is here and we're going to get a champion. You're going to do the entertainment drill with Brady, as we always do a story and Dale's going to try to read. We do this for his. Because his therapist says that it helps him. Yeah. So we're going to have that going around.

[Dale Hellestra]

Brady always gives me a horrendous story.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they're easy this week, Ron.

[Brett Fesley]

Categories that I know you like.

[John Holmberg]

You may have never met someone less in tune with what's gone on on the planet in the last 30 years than him. Like, he'll struggle with whatever celebrity name Brady hands him a thing. It's gonna be.

[Ron Capps]

Well, I went from 30 years to driving 40 years just a minute ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And. And you're. Now it's 60 years by the time I get old. Hey.

[Dale Hellestra]

Met this. This race car driver. 15 years drive.

[John Holmberg]

100 years years old. And also, Ron brought us drinks from F3 Energy. These are.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What is this?

[Ron Capps]

It's a new energy drink.

[John Holmberg]

They're.

[Ron Capps]

They're based out of here in Phoenix. I'm actually coming back early. May. The guy that started this actually owns United Fight League and they're having a fight. So I'm like, you're gonna come back? Yeah. If you guys are in town.

[John Holmberg]

That was. What. Oh, you're going to. You fest with us?

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, I am going.

[John Holmberg]

You're heading out to.

[Ron Capps]

It's a surprise for my wife because.

[John Holmberg]

Is she listening?

[Ron Capps]

She loves Love Cedar and we. We know the guys in the band, but we're gonna. He's setting us up with tickets, so we're fantastic. Are you gonna go? Do you go?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. I have to go to that.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, you have to.

[John Holmberg]

They make us go. But I want to go to this. Yeah. I love the Ufest shows. They're a blast. Oh, that'll be great. Settle down.

[Brett Fesley]

That's my wedding day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

Great band.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. See, there's nothing there.

[Dale Hellestra]

Captain Sunil. How about them?

[John Holmberg]

While you listen to Captain and Sunil and get ready for your Notting Hill night. Did you watch Notting Hill on your anniversary?

[Dale Hellestra]

Did not.

[Chad Daniels]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Did you watch any movies with your wife over the.

[Dale Hellestra]

We did Runaway Jury.

[John Holmberg]

Runaway Jury?

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah, with Jean.

[Ron Capps]

Like two movies together.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, was. Oh, you're Gene Hackman. You were celebrating. That doesn't sound like a Runaway Jury.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah, look it up.

[John Holmberg]

Is that the name of the movie?

[Brady Bogan]

Don't doubt and the whole jury runs away.

[John Holmberg]

Don't. Don't. Doesn't sound like a movie. I think he's making that up.

[Brady Bogan]

Hoffman.

[John Holmberg]

So you just had a. You had a Gene Hackman celebration?

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

That's very romantic. For your anniversary.

[Dale Hellestra]

Hey, didn't Gene Hackman die?

[John Holmberg]

Let's watch his movie. Sorry. Ron is here. Dale's here.

[Dale Hellestra]

And that's an imitation of me.

[John Holmberg]

Johnny, Johnny. Johnny.

[Dale Hellestra]

Pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

See anyway, you don't recognize the impression until you see people with torches behind me. Then you know it's Dale. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tax magical black self defense training. Get on out there. Two months for 199 bucks. Personal training. You won't get anything better than that. We did a knife and gun defense thing yesterday in a hallway. Once again, if you've ever been attacked in a hallway, everything changes. Oh Ron, you should come with me to that thing too. It's a blast. We had a great time and we learned self defense mechanism or techniques that are life saving, life changing. Become a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. It's reactdefense.com home of Tactical Black Brady Ron Dale Entertainment.

[Brett Fesley]

Christina Applegate's Ms. Has been manifesting itself very inconvenient. She's been in the hospital 30 times over the last three years. She's talking about when she has to poop, she pukes. She's doing it wrong both times and that's part of the suffering that she's been going through. She was on her podcast talking about it with Jamie Lynn. Jamie Lynn Sigler.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Fesley]

And she told her, she's like when it happens every, every time I have to poop, I puke. And Jamie Lynn informed her. I don't know if you know what that's called. It's referred to as the double dragon.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I didn't know that. We've all had it. I just didn't know it was now. Well, we have. You haven't had the double dragon in your life.

[Dale Hellestra]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Where you're.

[Dale Hellestra]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's shooting.

[Dale Hellestra]

I thought, I thought she said that when she felt she had a poop she puked. But she does both.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah. Oh, that's that way when she don't.

[Ron Capps]

Google it, you don't have time to flush and you have to turn around.

[John Holmberg]

Put one in the wall.

[Ron Capps]

You know when you're growing up and you drink too much and you're doing that and you're like, oh, please.

[John Holmberg]

I had food poisoning once that was so bad that I just lived on the toilet. And I would just try to aim it straight through the. Straight through the. Yeah, I move. I'd move the junk out of the way.

[Dale Hellestra]

That's why you're holding the.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, because.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you this, because a lot of times in the morning, I'm sleepy, so I it to pee, and I brush my teeth while I'm going, and I can still knock it down through the. Through the triangle visual.

[Dale Hellestra]

You are.

[Ron Capps]

Get out of my head.

[Dale Hellestra]

Is this why you hold your bat flap up?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I have a bat flap. I don't know if you know about that, Ron. We have ball stories ourselves. I have old man testicles. They are in the water. They've been in the water for a while. So. Yeah, I have a thing I hook and bring up over so they don't dangle.

[Brett Fesley]

It does the loop.

[John Holmberg]

Dale's fascinated with my. I have. Well, that's the wrong music. That's. Yeah, it's.

[Ron Capps]

Blow dry.

[Brady Bogan]

Them.

[Ron Capps]

It.

[John Holmberg]

If I. If I. It's in your case minor. Them. Yeah, the. When they dip down in the water, you got to give a scrub. I don't like it. Thanks for bringing that up, Dale.

[Brett Fesley]

Got a couple of lists. The first list that was made with 15 of the greatest dumb comedies ever made.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Anchorman movies or shows movies?

[Brett Fesley]

Anchorman is. Is not on the list.

[Brady Bogan]

That's not Airplane.

[John Holmberg]

Airplane. Fantastic.

[Ron Capps]

Dumb. To whom? What are we saying? Humor.

[Brett Fesley]

They're saying dumb comedy in. Is an art form. They said, Here are the 15 best dumb comedies ever made.

[John Holmberg]

All right, go.

[Brett Fesley]

I. I'll do the top five. Bad Teacher 2011 was number five. Hoodie Tang, number four.

[John Holmberg]

It's not funny, though.

[Brett Fesley]

Three Step Brothers.

[John Holmberg]

That is two.

[Brett Fesley]

Caveman 1981, and number one, Duck Soup.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's. That's the Marks brothers. How you calling that a dumb movie?

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah, dumb. The greatest dumb.

[John Holmberg]

We heard you. That's why we're asking questions.

[Ron Capps]

So I grew up with a dad that loved either Monty Python, but Blazing Saddles.

[Brett Fesley]

Like Blazing Saddles.

[Ron Capps]

One of the best movies ever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you want to talk about dumb? Yeah, but I mean, as far as, like, just mindless. But it's great. It has a beautiful message, actually. Yeah. Blazing Saddles. We all. The whole thing's about being racist and judgmental. Everybody. In the end, they all get together to fix the problem. Except for the Irish dumb. And dumber was number six, which was my favorite part.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah, dumber was six.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah. The jerk was 13.

[Ron Capps]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Now, this is terrible.

[Brett Fesley]

Euro trip was on there.

[John Holmberg]

You've wasted our time.

[Ron Capps]

Put that list out.

[Brett Fesley]

Dale's got another list.

[Dale Hellestra]

All right, here we go. Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Honest story.

[Brett Fesley]

Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

Oh, no.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He hands you the last thing he's holding.

[Dale Hellestra]

All right, Neil, go ahead. The full story. We're only a quarter of a way through the 21st century, but Billboard has already compiled a list of the top 100 female artists so far. It's based on their accomplishments on the Billboard 200 and Hot 100.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Top 25 artists of the century.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes. All right, you want me to go 10 to 1 or 10 to 1.

[John Holmberg]

See how many you know.

[Dale Hellestra]

Actually, I've heard of most all of them. Alicia Keys.

[John Holmberg]

You know her at number 10.

[Dale Hellestra]

Your girlfriend? Miley Cyrus.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Dua Leap on that list. If Dua Leap is on it, it's a legitimate list. Oh, it's too low already.

[Dale Hellestra]

Did not do a leap.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Big fan of dua Lipa.

[Dale Hellestra]

Number eight.

[John Holmberg]

YouTube. Yeah. I'm gonna send you some videos.

[Dale Hellestra]

Ariandi. Ariana. Grande. Grande.

[John Holmberg]

Close enough. You don't know who that is at all, do you?

[Dale Hellestra]

No, I just know she cried on Twitter for something.

[John Holmberg]

No, that was Selena Gomez. You got Mexican.

[Dale Hellestra]

Is there really a difference?

[John Holmberg]

You started getting Mexican word confused. Yeah. Is there a difference?

[Brett Fesley]

A really tiny face.

[Ron Capps]

Ariana. Selena.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, not even close.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yes, they are.

[John Holmberg]

All right, keep going. Bigot.

[Brady Bogan]

That's Ariana.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, you have pictures?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I'm showing.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. See?

[Dale Hellestra]

Is that the one that was crying?

[John Holmberg]

No. No.

[Dale Hellestra]

Okay. Pink number six is Lady Gaga.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know who that is?

[Dale Hellestra]

I do know.

[John Holmberg]

Why did it take you so long to form the words?

[Ron Capps]

You saw the movie.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, Star Is Born.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's true. Oh, yeah, that's gotta be up there.

[Dale Hellestra]

And number five, Katy Perry.

[John Holmberg]

You know that one?

[Dale Hellestra]

Number four, Adele.

[John Holmberg]

You like that one?

[Dale Hellestra]

All right, so give me the top three, Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

Top three. Taylor Swift is one. Beyonce say.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yep, three.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't know, the Dixie. Susan. Bo.

[Brett Fesley]

Susan Boy.

[Ron Capps]

No, the girl from. The lady from Florida. They had to quit singing. What's her name?

[Brett Fesley]

Oh, that was.

[John Holmberg]

Who? Gloria Eston?

[Ron Capps]

No, the other one. The other one.

[John Holmberg]

What lady from Florida that had to quit singing? Yeah, you think you're looking at, like, wow, you have your own personal Google. You just looked at a man like, give me the answer immediately.

[Ron Capps]

My phone.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Ron Capps]

What is her name?

[Dale Hellestra]

Number two is Rihanna.

[Ron Capps]

She's saying the Titanic song.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Celine Dion.

[Ron Capps]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

She's from Canada.

[Ron Capps]

Oh, but she Lives in Florida.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that doesn't mean she's from you and Dale. You know what? I want to take you two out to a We've driven neurologist.

[Ron Capps]

We've gone on a boat past their house. That's why I knew she's in Florida.

[John Holmberg]

That wasn't creepy at all.

[Ron Capps]

She's not even on the list. I don't like her music, but.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she didn't do much. This set, this century, the last 25 years.

[Dale Hellestra]

That's a. That's a person.

[John Holmberg]

She won the Grammy for best song last year's Kill Bills.

[Dale Hellestra]

That's why you don't watch the Grammys.

[Brady Bogan]

Eric, that scissor. Show me to play some.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, give me a little scissors. You. You won't like it because it's got some thought behind it. It's not country music.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm trying to find something this clean.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's going to be a search. This song's fantastic by the. Do you don't know this either round. I don't think so.

[Dale Hellestra]

A little bit.

[John Holmberg]

See, Dale, he's dancing. Dale might name this number.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, yeah, I can get that.

[John Holmberg]

See? And she's. Yeah, she's sexy, too.

[Dale Hellestra]

That's a love bacon song.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I'll take your word for it. I'm not gonna. I'm gonna ask for proof of that. All right. Are you done? Ron, you have your last story, and we'll close her up.

[Ron Capps]

I don't know if I want to do that.

[Brett Fesley]

Dave Draymond suing his former landlord for 37.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you telling me this? Because Ron said.

[Brett Fesley]

No, I didn't give him the story.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Brady caps.

[Ron Capps]

Where do I read it from?

[John Holmberg]

The words.

[Brett Fesley]

Top part of it.

[John Holmberg]

Just start. Start on the page with all the words and just read those. Okay. That seems very top. Yeah. You went to Brady School of Broadcasting.

[Ron Capps]

The printer.

[John Holmberg]

Words disturbs.

[Ron Capps]

David Draymond sues former landlord over mold that led to health issues.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Ron Capps]

The rock frontman says mold and leaks from a Florida rental home adversely affected his singing career. Did not know that.

[John Holmberg]

Ron's pretty good at this. Yeah, well, I mean, comparatively, between Dale and Brady's reading skills.

[Ron Capps]

Florida again.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There they are. So he is.

[Brett Fesley]

He was renting a 5,200 square foot foot crib, and there's black mold in the basement.

[Ron Capps]

So you memorize this.

[John Holmberg]

Don't. Don't even do all my stories. You're acting like he does research.

[Brady Bogan]

The research around here is just unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's great.

[Dale Hellestra]

Hours on that.

[John Holmberg]

How much did he get. Does it say?

[Brett Fesley]

No, he's taking him to court because the guy didn't give him his security part.

[Ron Capps]

Seven thousand dollar security ruined your career.

[Dale Hellestra]

Don't you think he could more than that?

[Brett Fesley]

It didn't ruin his career, though. He's saying he had health issues.

[John Holmberg]

That screwed him up. Do you rent a place?

[Ron Capps]

You're paying 85 or 18. 500amonth for the 5200 square foot home.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, 37,000 up front. Do you rent a house when you're in town or you got a.

[Ron Capps]

No, you stay in a place.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you have a motorhome. That's right.

[Brett Fesley]

So the guy wanted two months rent up front for the deposit.

[John Holmberg]

40 grand. Right up front. Man, oh, man. All right, that's it. Anything else we should know about Iran? What do we got this weekend?

[Ron Capps]

Oh, gosh. What do we got? Gonna be at Trophies. Bar down and consider Chandler. I guess it is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Trophies and channel. Yeah, you're gonna be out there.

[Ron Capps]

Gonna be there tonight. Tonight. But Friday night after qualifying, it's gonna be F3 night with the energy drink people there. You go on down. Gonna give some tickets away at Trophies. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so head on down there. Friday night. Yeah, beautiful thing.

[Ron Capps]

Stay out late.

[John Holmberg]

I've been. I've. I don't. I stay up all night now. My new schedule is just staying up and then I go to bed in the daytime. It's fantastic. So I'm running. I'm running on fumes right now. I need this F3 stuff or I'm gonna die and. Dale, there's nothing. You're doing a thing. You're going back to bed.

[Dale Hellestra]

I got grandkids this weekend, Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Be careful.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, I usually come up, beat up his grandkids.

[John Holmberg]

Ron, good luck to you this weekend, as always. Be safe. Go get another championship. That'd be great.

[Dale Hellestra]

That would be.

[John Holmberg]

And. And then Dale will probably start taking credit for that because it's the one time.

[Dale Hellestra]

Oh, well, he meets me. Good things happen when people hang around.

[John Holmberg]

I have one. One thing I can still make fun of. Ron, I think this is like your 20th time here. You're three for 20 as far as I'm concerned. And that's not. That's not getting it done. I need a fourth. I need number four to come make.

[Ron Capps]

Fun of my pants again.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's true. Was it your pants? Yeah. Yeah. Why?

[Brett Fesley]

Was it making fun of the golf outing?

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't him. It was that Bob Gap Kids. Oh, you did have. Oh, I did make fun of yours. That's true. He had gap kids pants. Okay, I forgot. Oh, I forgot all about all these great jokes that I've told over Napa Bob. Nappa Bob was mismatched.

[Ron Capps]

And you lost all the money to you for throwing the. The. A golf ball.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Never.

[Ron Capps]

Don't ever take his bet.

[Dale Hellestra]

Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

On how far to throw a golf ball. Really hands. He's got some trick. I don't know what it is.

[John Holmberg]

Just a gun.

[Ron Capps]

He makes it look easy. And then you go to throw it. It goes halfway.

[John Holmberg]

About 150 yards.

[Dale Hellestra]

He's got a special golf ball.

[John Holmberg]

I can probably go 100. I'll just pick up your golf ball. But I. I had shoulder surgery. So it's probably down to about 80 yards. But it still beats most people.

[Ron Capps]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Ron Capps]

It's weird.

[John Holmberg]

And I can put it. I can put it closer. Yeah. It's pretty amazing.

[Dale Hellestra]

This guy's fragile.

[John Holmberg]

I'm athlete. That's basically. I'm probably the most athletic one in the room right now. No question about it. I should have gone through.

[Ron Capps]

Look around.

[John Holmberg]

He might be right. That guy might have just nailed it. All right, we're done. Ron, thank you very much. Good luck. And I'll hopefully see you back in May. Dale. Next week. We'll see you. I'm sure you never go away. That's it. Larry's next. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brett Fesley]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. What are you PD.