03-21-25 - BR - FRI - Missed Alien Abduction Day Yesterday - Average Tip Is Up To 19 Percent - World Happiness Report Is Out - SciNews On Atlas Robots And Pig Cells That Could Fight Cancer

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: March 21, 2025
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesley, and Dick Toledo
Source: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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1. Weather Forecast and Shade Solutions ([00:43] - [02:09])

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg discussing the anticipated heatwave, predicting temperatures soaring into the 90s next week. Dismissing concerns voiced by the weatherman, Holmberg confidently states, "I'm not a wizard. I don't have a crystal ball. I just know it's gonna get hot." To help listeners cope with the extended sunny days, the team promotes All Pro Shade Concepts, highlighting their automatic and electric shade solutions. Holmberg enthusiastically shares, "They did Brady's house. You should get yours, too, if you've got a space that you're like it's too much sun."

2. National Single Parent Day Discussion ([02:09] - [04:17])

Bret Vesley announces that the day encompasses multiple observances, including National Single Parent Day. The hosts engage in a lighthearted debate about the definition of single parenthood, with Holmberg humorously remarking, "You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself," referring to a co-host's comment. They explore the complexities and societal perceptions of single parenting, blending humor with genuine conversation.

3. Alien Abduction Day and Statistics ([06:25] - [10:18])

The team delves into the topic of Alien Abduction Day, discussing its implications and the associated statistics. Brett Vesley cites data from the National UFO Reporting Center, stating, "The odds of being abducted by aliens in America is approximately 1 in 1834." Holmberg expresses skepticism, questioning the terminology and the validity of the statistics. The conversation underscores the hosts' playful skepticism towards extraterrestrial phenomena, concluding with Holmberg humorously comparing the odds to his betting experiences: "I have bets on FanDuel that have worse odds than this."

4. America's Tipping Culture ([10:18] - [13:32])

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the evolving tipping landscape in the United States. Bret Vesley reports, "America's average tip is now 19%," breaking down statistics by state and generation. Delaware leads with an average tip of over 21%, while California averages around 17%. The hosts critique the obligatory nature of tipping, sharing anecdotes about forced tips at tow yards and questioning the fairness of additional fees. Holmberg emphasizes frustration, saying, "That's America right there. It's like I'll waste this and pretend and not only that, waste it by putting it in another box instead of just throwing it out."

5. World Happiness Report Summary ([15:30] - [16:27])

Brett Vesley presents findings from the World Happiness Report, revealing that Finland ranks first for the eighth consecutive year, followed by Denmark and Iceland. The United States stands at 24th place out of 147 countries, the lowest ranking since the report's inception twelve years prior. Holmberg offers a candid perspective, "I think we are so spoiled compared to everyone else. They're appreciative. I'd say we're the least appreciative."

6. Science News: Atlas Robots and Pig Cells Combatting Cancer ([19:04] - [25:31])

a. Stranded Astronauts' Compensation ([19:04] - [20:07])

The hosts discuss an unusual report about stranded astronauts receiving only $5 per day for incidentals despite being on a $150,000 annual salary. Holmberg sarcastically remarks, "I have bets on FanDuel that have worse odds than this."

b. Boston Dynamics' Atlas Robot ([20:07] - [22:54])

Bret Vesley showcases a new video of Boston Dynamics' Atlas robot, which performs complex movements like walking, running, crawling, cartwheeling, and even breakdancing. Holmberg raises concerns about the militarization of robotics, asserting, "This is Terminator. They are death machines." The hosts debate the ethical implications, with Holmberg warning, "Don't think they aren't. That's the first and real meaningful thing they're doing with robots will be arm them and make them military superstars."

c. Pig Cells as a Potential Cancer Cure ([23:37] - [25:31])

Brett Vesley shares an intriguing yet confusing report titled, "Could the cure for cancer be tricking our body into thinking it's bacon?" The discussion unpacks the concept of modifying the immune system to perceive cancer cells as pig cells, thereby targeting and destroying them. The hosts humorously critique the scientific jargon and the feasibility of such a method:

• Holmberg: "Your body doesn't think that your cancer cells are baking and then you digest cancer. That's how it works."
• Vesley attempts clarification: "Researchers in China figured out how to make our immune system think cancer cells are pig cells."

The segment highlights the hosts' skepticism and comedic take on scientific advancements.

7. Scam Alert: Cat Surgery Fraud ([28:04] - [29:31])

Vesley warns listeners about a prevalent scam targeting pet owners in Seattle. The trick involves deceptive phone calls informing individuals that their missing cats have been hit by cars and require urgent surgery, demanding payments via Venmo. Vesley recounts, "Luckily he didn't send the money," emphasizing the importance of vigilance against such frauds. The hosts advise listeners to remain cautious and verify any unexpected communications regarding their pets.

8. Cheesecake Factory Menu Expansion ([30:07] - [31:13])

The conversation shifts to the Cheesecake Factory announcing an expanded menu, adding 20 new items while removing 13, resulting in a total of 250 choices. Holmberg expresses astonishment, "I don't think they're making it. I think they just heat stuff up," humorously speculating on the logistical challenges of managing such an extensive menu. The hosts envision the kitchen operations, comparing it to multiple separate kitchens working in tandem.

9. Humorous Segments and Absurd Videos ([31:13] - [42:31])

In the latter part of the episode, the hosts engage in humorous commentary on a series of absurd and grotesque videos. These include:

• Failed Bottle Uppercuts: Holmberg describes a failed attempt to break a bottle over someone's head, exclaiming, "Those M80s didn't agree with me, and I threw up my face on the Madison Square Garden floor."

• Violent Animal Interactions: Discussions about dogs being overwhelmed on beaches and a person attempting to eat their own arm, with Holmberg sarcastically questioning the necessity of such content.

• Raw Dogging Incident: A segment features a drunk individual attempting a risky prank, with Holmberg mockingly detailing the absurdity: "You're going to get on a list. You're going to get radical."

These segments showcase the hosts' penchant for dark humor and their ability to entertain listeners with exaggerated and fantastical scenarios.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg ([00:48]): "I'm not a wizard. I don't have a crystal ball. I just know it's gonna get hot."

• Bret Vesley ([10:22]): "American's average tip is now 19%."

• John Holmberg ([15:54]): "They don't ask those people up in that arctic area this question in November. They're thrilled when this comes up in like May."

• John Holmberg ([22:15]): "This is Terminator. They are death machines."

• Bret Vesley ([23:37]): "Could the cure for cancer be tricking our body into thinking it's bacon?"

• Bret Vesley ([28:04]): "There's this horrible scam that happened in Seattle."

• John Holmberg ([31:07]): "I don't think it makes any sense anymore."

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Conclusion

The March 21, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of topical discussions, ranging from societal issues like tipping culture and happiness indices to intriguing scientific advancements and scam alerts. John Holmberg and his co-hosts infuse humor and skepticism into each topic, providing listeners with both information and entertainment. The episode underscores the show's mission to "entertain, question, and disturb" its audience through lively banter and engaging content.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady Bogan]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Brady Bogan]

He's evil sitting right here. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Friday morning, perfect day. Everybody's all flipping out. It's gonna be in the 90s next week. You guys know that. You know the drill, right? We don't have to act shocked by this anymore. Hate to break it to you, it's gonna get hot. Weatherman last night in the news. Oh, boy, we're in for it now. No, we're not. It's gonna get worse. I can tell you right now, I'm not a weatherman. I already know what's gonna happen. I'm not a wizard. I don't have a crystal ball. I don't even have a computer. I just know it's gonna get hot. So I hope you enjoyed when it wasn't Days like this. Suck it up. It's going to be glorious. And then you know it's going to get nasty. And that's why the Brady Reports brought you by All Pro Shade Concepts. It's a great thing. The heat's coming. That means the sun's going to be out 17 hours a day. Lasts forever, too. So make some of your outdoor space feel like indoor space and get that shade going for you. Is yours automatic? Like, electric stuff? Isn't that the coolest?

[Brett Vesley]

You get that and when it's too windy, automatically comes in.

[John Holmberg]

It goes on its own.

[Brett Vesley]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you got the tank out.

[Brett Vesley]

I got one that goes out and I got one that goes down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's cool. That's great. They did Brady's house. You should get yours, too, if you've got a space that you're like it's too much sun or we'd use it more. Well, they can fix that. All prochet.com. that's where you go. Brady Report.

[Brett Vesley]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

We've made it.

[Brett Vesley]

It's a big day today. It's Credit Card Reduction Day, World Poetry Day, National Common Courtesy Day and National Single Parent Day.

[John Holmberg]

National. We gave him a day job. National Single Parents Day.

[Brett Vesley]

I'll take those phones away from your kids.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett Vesley]

They're saying they listed a bunch of stuff for single parent advice.

[John Holmberg]

Ironically, in order to have. In order to be a single parent, there must be two of you put that in your pipe. One kid has two single parents. That's true of all. Are they coupled together? Good job, single parents. You've ruined society.

[Brett Vesley]

Couple of basis fun facts. According to the law in Switzerland, you're not allowed to force domestic poultry to wear glasses or contact lenses.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, thank God.

[John Holmberg]

I've been fighting for that for years. Big animal rights guy and that's on my list.

[Brett Vesley]

Still do it here.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's why I'm fighting, Brady.

[Dick Toledo]

Can I push back on that?

[Brady Bogan]

It's a fight alive.

[Dick Toledo]

What, the whole single parent thing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Yours doesn't count. You got a lady involved early.

[Dick Toledo]

He had a donor. I had a donor. I didn't have two single parents.

[John Holmberg]

She was still a single parent. Didn't mean she was doing good at it.

[Dick Toledo]

No, my mom was.

[Brett Vesley]

He wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. I was talking about you and your kid. Oh, yeah, I forgot. He's still a single parent.

[Dick Toledo]

No, he's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, he's individual. And your parent.

[Dick Toledo]

He's a donor.

[John Holmberg]

Parent. He's a supplier. You make a strong, compelling point. However, I do have to say, in order for your mom to be a single parent, she needed a single parent to help her out.

[Dick Toledo]

She needed an extra bit of sauce and that's it.

[John Holmberg]

So you can consider them, you know, giraffe sauce or whatever it is. I don't know what that stuff's called.

[Brett Vesley]

The first Wrigley Field.

[John Holmberg]

Still apparent. I'm gonna go with that vote. Still a parent?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, still apparent.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like by definition.

[Dick Toledo]

No, no. A father.

[John Holmberg]

This is getting into definition.

[Dick Toledo]

Parent. Not by definition.

[John Holmberg]

This is getting into.

[Brett Vesley]

Leah's got a point there.

[John Holmberg]

No, because it's the same thing as they say. Like, you know, when they start I identify as. Or they. They say gender is a concept. You're still. You parented a child. Is. Didn't raise it.

[Dick Toledo]

Parent was a concept to him until a couple Years later.

[John Holmberg]

Right. It's too bad my dad wasn't at your dad's house to help him tighten the jar. He tried to keep you in the.

[Brett Vesley]

First Wrigley Field wasn't in Chicago. Baseball park in Los Angeles called Wrigley field Open in 1925. The Cubs Stadium was called Cubs park at that point, but change its name to Wrigley in 1926.

[John Holmberg]

It had some other name too, in between there. Cubs park was the one they. That was. That they leaned on, but it had some other.

[Brett Vesley]

The LA one was torn down in 1969. All right.

[John Holmberg]

It was. Wrigley Field in LA was torn down in 69.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Was. It wasn't still called Wrigley Field. And they lost that fight.

[Brett Vesley]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They had to call it something else.

[Brett Vesley]

Not Wrigley Field.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that was a poor choice.

[Brett Vesley]

A shape with 1000 sides is called a chileagon.

[John Holmberg]

I'm never going to deal with that. It's. There's no such thing. 1,000.

[Dick Toledo]

Good luck counting.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'll just take your word for it. And wouldn't it have been called a Pentagon or a Milligon? Millican. Milligan, probably.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah. Sent his 100.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The angels played there, actually, originally, way.

[John Holmberg]

Back in the day in Wrigley Field. The Angels were only around in the 60s.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well, they were a PCL team for that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right.

[Dick Toledo]

61 for the Angels. So they played their.

[John Holmberg]

They still called it Wrigley Field is the thing, though. So they knew that the real Wrigley Field was in Chicago. They just kept the name. Interesting. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

South. It was just south of South Central.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Nobody. Everyone who was there is dead now. And not because of, you know, age.

[Brett Vesley]

I missed this yesterday, but yesterday was alien abduction day.

[Dick Toledo]

They didn't want you.

[Brett Vesley]

Someone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't mean they were coming for all of us. They were choosing selfish pricks. Did they know that? Shouldn't we let it be up to them?

[Brady Bogan]

You think?

[Brett Vesley]

The National UFO Reporting center analyzed some data and some other digital media reports. In the end, the 10 states with the highest likelihood of alien. Alien abduction.

[John Holmberg]

Texas, Arkansas.

[Brady Bogan]

Alabama.

[Brett Vesley]

Texas is number six.

[John Holmberg]

Florida.

[Brett Vesley]

Florida number three.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's land mass. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Those hillbillies.

[John Holmberg]

No, they love them.

[Brett Vesley]

Number 10, Nevada. Cassavari. 51. Number 9, Colorado.

[Brady Bogan]

New Mexico.

[Brett Vesley]

8.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett Vesley]

Arizona. 7. Pennsylvania.

[John Holmberg]

It's just where it's happened before. Or where they say it's happened.

[Brett Vesley]

6. Texas. New York. 5. Oregon. 4.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, it would have to be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So it's not. It's Not Alien Abduction Day, as in Most Likely to Be Abducted. It's. It should be called People who've Been Abducted by Aliens Day. Like we're celebrating their story, right?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, because you make it sound like they were.

[John Holmberg]

Like they knew that this was the day you're most likely to be abducted by aliens. So we gave them a day rather than. For people who have stories of abduction.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah, basically. Well, I think the other factor was the likelihood of being abducted by aliens. The UFO sighting for every 1075 people.

[John Holmberg]

Right. So it's celebrating the people who saw because it's almost like having Human Trafficking Day. It gets a little confusing. Like, is this for them, Human trafficking? Yeah, it's like, who's this? What are we celebrating? Should be Victims of Human Trafficking Day.

[Brett Vesley]

According to this report, the odds of being abducted by aliens in America is approximately 1 in 1834.

[John Holmberg]

That's it?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Are you reading that right?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

1 in 180034 are your odds of being in America. Who told you this?

[Brett Vesley]

That's according to the data that this UFO center. National UFO Reporting Center.

[Dick Toledo]

So there's a hundred thousand every 1.8 million people that have been abducted.

[John Holmberg]

Your odds are the last point at a Sun's game. Two thousand people might be abducted. That's inaccurate.

[Brett Vesley]

It's the last line.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I see it. The odds of being abducted by aliens in America is approximately one in 1834. There's a comma there.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh no.

[John Holmberg]

Which then it says. Which is 0.05%. There's something missing here. I think it's supposed to have three more zeros. There's no way it's less.

[Brady Bogan]

He just wanted the news.

[John Holmberg]

I have bets on FanDuel that have worse odds than this. And there's only three legs to it.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't know, Jim.

[John Holmberg]

No, I do. 0.05% of the American population is 1800 people. One in 1800. But that's. Wow, that's even less. Like this is 05. You had two more zeros. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

1834 divided by one is.

[John Holmberg]

You have.0005. This is just.05. They bounded it up so it's even better. Well, that's not true. That means everything.

[Brett Vesley]

That means people are getting abducted on the reg.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We're going to have our you fest in a couple weeks. That's 10,000 people. That means that five of them have been gone at one point or another. If the odds are to stay out.

[Brady Bogan]

There, you never know.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. I've seen a few of them I think might have been thrown back. So basically they're just fishing.

[Brett Vesley]

Is it Roswell's New Mexico?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Is Area 51 in Nevada? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Were you going?

[Brett Vesley]

No, I've never been to either one.

[John Holmberg]

You can't go to one of them, stand around it. That can't be right. I know, I know. He's newsman.

[Brett Vesley]

Hear the words you say sometimes? I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brett Vesley]

The current state of tipping in 2025. America's average tip is now 19%.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have an option anymore. Yesterday at the game, it was 20, 22 and 25 on the thing.

[Brady Bogan]

You can't do custom.

[John Holmberg]

You can, but they're the second time. Well, it is not. It's like you just know when you custom's the last one, you know which one it is. And if you hit it, that means you're going to be cheap.

[Dick Toledo]

You see the story of the guy who went to pick up his car at the tow yard, and the tow yard had a card thing with a tip. Ask for a tip.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you serious?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I think it was on 60 Minutes.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe you tip a guy for jacking your car.

[John Holmberg]

I was told. And I don't know if this is real or not because I haven't tested it. But when your car is taken away from you and you make it right with whoever you owe money to, like if it's for, you know, a ticket and they're like, we pound your car.

[Dick Toledo]

Mine got towed in Scottsdale.

[John Holmberg]

You're. You can say, I'm not paying you to the tow lot. I'm not going to pay you. You can't take my car and then charge me to get it back. The state can, and I already paid those fees. But I'm not paying your fee, which is extra for doing the job of the state. That should be baked into the fine.

[Dick Toledo]

Doesn't that invalidate almost every tow sign in every parking lot you've seen?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, violators will be towed at owner's expense. Is you violated this particular person's private property. So if you park there and the sign says that. I think you have to in order to get your car, it's ransom. So this is basically stealing a car. And I didn't agree to that sign. I don't know if that's a legal state sign. It's got ars on it. Then you got to worry. But I don't know the rule. But I've been told several times by cops.

[Dick Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to pay the tow guy. I don't. I've seen a lot of tow guys. I'm pretty much paying them. Some of them don't look all too stable. But if they come to your house and swipe your car in the middle of the night because you haven't made payments, and you make those payments, good, the person who's hiring the tow truck driver should be paying those fees. And then bake it in. Maybe you add in an extra 130 bucks to the thing. I don't know. There's a lot of stuff in there. I want to kind of.

[Brett Vesley]

The highest tipping state is Delaware, just over 21%. California leaves the worst tips around 17%.

[John Holmberg]

They're all broke.

[Brett Vesley]

Break it down. Millennials are the biggest tippers at 19 and a half percent. Gen Z is 19.3, Gen X, 18.2. Boomers, 16.4. And 7% of Americans never tip. Never, never.

[John Holmberg]

17%. 7%. Oh, at least 17. 7. Still high. Jesus, that's terrible. Can you imagine? Yeah. Wow. Brett's inner monologue just floated through the room. I heard it. Like, I see. Like when I'm in a Waymo, I see a driver behind him.

[Brett Vesley]

It had passion, even.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Even though the driver's not there. I know I could read now. I know what it's like to be one of those girls who thinks she can read minds. I know exactly what Brett's in her monologue did with that story.

[Brady Bogan]

I didn't say anything.

[John Holmberg]

You shouted it in your brain.

[Brady Bogan]

I said nothing.

[John Holmberg]

I know, which is great. But I heard your inside voice and touched me. Did you guys. Did it get cold in here? I hear racist people.

[Brady Bogan]

I did nothing.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, you wouldn't.

[John Holmberg]

But that.

[Dick Toledo]

That knock.

[John Holmberg]

But the giggle, I think. I think it's Pavlovian now. The giggle made me go, oh, I know what Brett's thinking.

[Brett Vesley]

We all looked over the same.

[John Holmberg]

Only 7% of Americans don't tip. Oh, I know what that was. He slurred in his mind.

[Brady Bogan]

I did nothing of the sort.

[John Holmberg]

I did. I heard it. But is it a slur? It's like a tree in the woods. Is it a racial slur? I didn't say anything if no one said it.

[Brady Bogan]

Although Donovan just said was right there with you, Brett.

[Brett Vesley]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

And that's the way you sent it out over the air. Brett. Hi, welcome to the Brett Vesley Show. And it starts now. I know what he was thinking. I know what that guy said.

[Brett Vesley]

Every year since 2012, Gallup has put out the world, happiness Report which ranks how people in more than 140 countries evaluate the quality of their lives. And for the eighth year in a row, Finland is number one.

[John Holmberg]

Good job.

[Brett Vesley]

Denmark number two. Iceland number three.

[John Holmberg]

They don't ask those people.

[Brett Vesley]

Swedes are happy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They don't ask anybody up in that arctic area this question in November. They're thrilled when this comes up in like May. Guarantee you by the compile all the information of the world and it comes out this year in March. They did not ask those people that question in November.

[Brett Vesley]

Mexico's in the top 10 because if.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, ask the cartels people. They're probably pretty happy.

[Brett Vesley]

The US is 24 out of 147 countries.

[John Holmberg]

That's getting it done.

[Brett Vesley]

It's our lowest rank since they've been doing it 12 years. They started 12 years ago. We're just below Slovenia, the UAE and Germany.

[Dick Toledo]

Slovenia, we zip in.

[John Holmberg]

I'm telling you this. I think America is. I, I would say I don't know enough about the other countries at the top of the list, but I think that we have the happiest nation on the planet and the reason why is because we complain about so many stupid things that drop us off that list.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

So I think we are so spoiled compared to everyone else. They're appreciative. I'd say we're the least appreciative. Happy place. We should be happy. Absolutely. We've got everything. I saw a thing last night, this is only in America that what's happening to go bags. Nobody's taking to Go's. We're wasting half the food on our plate. Because you know why? It makes you look like a pig to have a bag and leave a restaurant. So nobody's doing it. So there's like. Some restaurants now are like, we don't even carry like much in the ways of doggy bags because not a lot of people will box it up and take it. And they asked the people inside, are you going to take that home? I had them box it up, but I'm going to leave it here because I'm not eating this tomorrow. It doesn't taste the same. Like that's, that's America right there. It's like I'll waste this and pretend and not only that, waste it by putting it in another box instead of just throwing it out. I know this is foreign to you.

[Brett Vesley]

I haven't run into that yet.

[Dick Toledo]

That's why you were blank face.

[John Holmberg]

What's to go?

[Dick Toledo]

Like we can hear his inner monologue.

[Brett Vesley]

What do you mean you don't run into a restaurant yet that hasn't offered.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no, they still offer, but they're. The manager was saying we don't order nearly as much of it. We have a very small amount of leave the place with bags things. Because we don't. They used to put them in bags. He's killed bags altogether. Now you can just get a. A little carton.

[Brett Vesley]

I mean, I've done this before where you forgot the. To go back.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, but that's what now they're. Now they're saying I left it. They're doing that on purpose now. And that to goes are no longer like, really? It used to be a pretty big deal. Like, you know, I bag that up, we'll take it home and eat it later. And now it's. Evidently it's. Especially in Los Angeles where I saw this story. It was kind of oh, to go hog.

[Dick Toledo]

Also, there's not as many claim jumper type places where they give you five meals on one.

[John Holmberg]

That was too much. Claim jumper needed to back up a truck when you leave.

[Brett Vesley]

And now it's time for some science news.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, what's Brett thinking? Let's check in. Sorry to the Indians. Well, no, I meant the Indians way over. It's science. So I figured that you'd be. Who does that most? Didn't everyone else just think of Jackie Chan? What did he do?

[Brett Vesley]

The stranded space astronauts came home on Tuesday and people were wondering, how much money did they get paid for all the overtime? The answer is five bucks a day. They're on salary. They make around 150,000 a year. So they don't get overtime. They just get a $5 a day for incidentals while traveling. Also, they'll cover meals and lodging and transportation. So no hazardous duty. They were up there 286 days. They got fourteen thirty dollars.

[Brady Bogan]

How did they have enough food for extra.

[John Holmberg]

That's just. Yeah, that's the other thing. It's like they go. I guess they were shooting up stuff for the space station to keep them in.

[Brady Bogan]

They got a big catcher's mitt or something. I mean, how are they getting it? They couldn't get.

[John Holmberg]

They couldn't get anybody up there to save them. But this is why Italy doesn't have a space.

[Brett Vesley]

Unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

What are they doing up there? What do you just put a ball glove up there and chuck it? I'm not doing it.

[Brady Bogan]

Are you DiMaggio now or what?

[John Holmberg]

Let those looney asperger's autistic focused. People start shooting them up there. I'm not building a baseball glove. I don't know how it works either. Yeah, I mean, because they have. They do it a lot. Like they'll shoot cargo up to the space station and give them food and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, then how come they couldn't jump back on the thing and ride it back down?

[Dick Toledo]

Because Boeing said it's not safe.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, they weren't people. Movers.

[Brett Vesley]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98 can hear PD Holmberg's morning sickness. They're cargo ones. I don't know. I don't know. You'd think you could put one on there, but those weren't.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll jump on a cargo plane if I've been stuck up there for months.

[Brett Vesley]

I don't think those came back from other people. From others space agencies around the country, like India or Japan.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Indian rocket shows up. I'm kicking it away.

[Brett Vesley]

There you go.

[Brady Bogan]

No curry. Keep it going.

[John Holmberg]

We don't eat curry. That's an agreement we have on the International Space Station. No bathroom with curry. We're eating a lot of just plain kind of porridge. But no, I think they shoot out. I don't think it's one. I don't think it's a rocket that's returned. Oh, okay. I don't think there's like a little capsule that comes back after they drop off food. But I do think they do. I've known that they had those ones. They went up and they say it's a supply mission, but they had to double down on that with two more people up there.

[Brett Vesley]

Boston Dynamics posted a new video of its Atlas robot walking, running, crawling, cartwheeling and break dancing.

[John Holmberg]

We're getting close.

[Brett Vesley]

You should see this. It's about a minute long video. It's amazing how much.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the fun part.

[Brett Vesley]

How better. How much better it's gotten.

[Brady Bogan]

Do they sell these things yet? Can you go buy one?

[John Holmberg]

Here's the fun part. It is iRobot for all of us. It's cute and adorable and we watch these videos that Brady brings us of it. Break dancing and doing stuff. It's a death machine. They're building death machines. This is not for us. This is for technology, for battle. There is nothing about this thing. We'll get it because we'll buy it. But it is Terminator. They are death machines. Don't think they aren't. Don't roll your eyes at that. That's the first and Real meaningful thing they're doing with robots will be arm them and make them military superstars and then make consumers want them for all the toys and stuff.

[Dick Toledo]

We saw the one. The one that you couldn't kick it over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You were kicking it and it was like, all right, what else you got?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, And Mars. Isn't it like, they see that thing in Mars. It just drives around. It can't roll over. It can't get tipped. They all act like, oh, look, everybody. It break dances and we get like, wee and. Yeah, Break dances.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, F. You guys. I've seen this. Barf flies up there in a big rv, drops things off.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Barf does it. Barf. Barf brings the RV of Walmart up to the space station. Dark helmet, tries to, you know, intervene. Spaceball.

[Brett Vesley]

Could the cure for cancer be tricking our body into thinking it's bacon?

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

Researchers.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. That sentence makes no sense because you're saying it tricks our body into thinking our body is bacon.

[Brett Vesley]

Researchers. No. Tricks our body into thinking that what we're eating is pork. Or what is in our body. Researchers in China.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

Go figure out how to make our immune system think cancer cells are pig cells. Pork cells.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brett Vesley]

Researchers.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. But still, I heard the words. You realize it makes no sense.

[Brett Vesley]

It makes it think that cancer cells are pig cells. So it attacks the tumor and knocks it out. What does your body reacts because the cells don't belong.

[John Holmberg]

So where he got us was the confusion that making it bacon. It doesn't. Bacon has nothing to do with us. Just in his brain.

[Brett Vesley]

It's pork.

[John Holmberg]

We understand that.

[Dick Toledo]

Not called pork cells. It's from the pig.

[John Holmberg]

It's not pork cells. You're eating a lot more than. No, no. Bacon is Brady.

[Brett Vesley]

Delicious bacon.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. No. There's so much more to a pig than just what you put in your mouth.

[Brett Vesley]

Sure. There's.

[John Holmberg]

Even. I'm not with you on this one, dummy. That was terrible.

[Brett Vesley]

Hickory smoked ham.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't. No. You're screwing up science with your appetite.

[Brady Bogan]

Thank God Science News is on Fridays.

[John Holmberg]

Keep it straight. Your body doesn't think that your cancer cells are baking and then you digest cancer. That how it works. So you're saying. Thank you, Ralphie. The stuff that they put in there for people with cancer would work in a pig. So it's trying to confuse your body into saying this is the same thing a pig would do. And it works in pigs.

[Brett Vesley]

And get rid of it.

[John Holmberg]

Right. That's the point. Not accelerate it or make it Taste better.

[Dick Toledo]

You're not gonna slice off of.

[Brett Vesley]

I gotta tell you, human cells are getting rid of the pig cells. They're enjoying that nowhere.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what I was thinking?

[John Holmberg]

You think that the. Okay, yeah, I know. You can say this one. No, I can't. Yeah, you can. It's okay. Trust me. I'm fine. I'm thinking it. Yeah. About him. Yeah, we're both thinking it, right? The cells don't go numb on the pork cells. No, they don't. There are no such things as chubby little Brady's jolly little cells. Where are we going? Some little. We go to some goop joint or the pork place. What do we. What are we doing today? Cells.

[Brett Vesley]

Hey, we got some pig cells. Sweet baby.

[Brady Bogan]

Rays on the cells.

[John Holmberg]

Go get a little sauce on these cells. I'm going to open a restaurant. Cellopolis. Idiot. The cells don't go in and chow down on the pork cells because they're so. Give me that paper. There's nowhere on there that says anything about food, is there?

[Brett Vesley]

It just says in bacon. It says in bacon news. You know, roughly.

[John Holmberg]

It roughly says it. It roughly says in bacon.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, all the science news are just like headlines, right?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so you. That's your funny. That's why you read Google and grok.

[Dick Toledo]

Or Gemini can come in.

[John Holmberg]

See, in that sentence right there is bad. Could the cure for cancer be tricking our body into thinking it's pork? Thinking our whole body is pork? Yeah, that's what that says. So China's figured out how to trick our immune cells to think cancer cells are pig cells. So did we cure cancer in pigs?

[Brett Vesley]

Don't know, Jim.

[John Holmberg]

Why he read this strictly because it's joke. He says in bacon news. You have no idea. So if the. If the cells for the immune system will knock out what they think is a pig cell, then our cells cure cancer in pigs. Get rid of some tumors in pigs. If we're feel if from what you're saying, if we're fooling our immune system into thinking that cancer cells are just pig cells, then our immune system would kill cancer in a pig or kill a pig. Why would we have pork cells in it to where our body would fight them?

[Brady Bogan]

I start drinking.

[John Holmberg]

It's all bacon. It's all bacon to you. About the bacon. I know. The human immune system has. Has a fork and a knife and a napkin around its neck and it's looking for some bacon cells.

[Brett Vesley]

That's your science news?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, it wasn't. Nothing about that was. Thanks, Neil Degrasse. Dumbass.

[Brett Vesley]

There'S this horrible scam that happened in Seattle. This guy named Justin Hills got a call about his cat. His cat went missing two weeks ago. And this person called him on the phone. Very smooth. Sounded like he was experienced with this. But he said, we've located your cat. And it was hit by a car.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no.

[Brett Vesley]

So we have taken it to an emergency room and it needs to have surgery. We need you to Venmo US $2800.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'll go to the surgeon and pay them.

[Dick Toledo]

Exactly.

[Brett Vesley]

And the guy immediately was like, I gotta get this vent, you know, as much as I.

[John Holmberg]

What? First question what that is yet. I don't need you anymore. What? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

They can do that and I can pay a bill.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

Luckily he didn't send the money.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Because he's not dumb.

[Brett Vesley]

Bad news is, cat's still missing, but he put a warning out there. These calls are happening. They got a list. They went around and found out all these pets that are missing. You know, they've been posting.

[John Holmberg]

People do that on that next door app all the time. I got an email from Guy, says I'm. I'm an actual scientist. I'm not kidding. Engineering and science is my. I need to be a better scientist to understand any of what he just said.

[Brett Vesley]

Then you're not a scientist.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Sean Rockefeller. All I can do is hear. And I don't know what the actual F. Brady's trying to say about pork, pig, bacon and cancer. Signed, Sean Rockefeller are blind.

[Brett Vesley]

There's this one.

[Dick Toledo]

Jesus Christ. John's it. Does Osmosis Jones live in Brady's head?

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Brady watched Inner Space and went, I bet he's hungry. Num, num, num, num. Speaking of hungry, remember when you were a kid and they tried to teach you how medicine fights things? And they were the bad cells and the good cells. And the good cells would show up and go. They'd march in and the white blood.

[Dick Toledo]

Cells and the red blood cells.

[John Holmberg]

That's when he remembers and thought, that's an actual. That's actual footage. I get a microscope in that guy.

[Brett Vesley]

The Cheesecake Factory menu just got larger.

[John Holmberg]

Unnecessary.

[Brett Vesley]

They removed 13 items from the menu and added 20 more.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brett Vesley]

You have now 250 items to order on that menu.

[Dick Toledo]

It's gotta suck being a cook there. Or you're just responsible for a certain portion of the menu.

[John Holmberg]

I always imagine the Cheesecake Factory kitchen being like six kitchens. Yeah, like Hell's Kitchen. Like six bases. Like, you guys candle this and we'll do the Italian. And they gotta have a bakery back there. Well, either that or everything's microwave, cold dessert section.

[Dick Toledo]

Their kitchen for that has to be huge.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think they're making it.

[Dick Toledo]

No. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I think they just heat stuff up.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, but they still gotta take it out.

[John Holmberg]

Like McDonald's. They have one kitchen like we got here. You have the. The pasta parmigiano or whatever, and then, like veal and then salmon. It's like a buffet, only they don't show it to you. Yeah, they just platin it up. They heat it up. It shows up in a truck and they just heat it up.

[Dick Toledo]

That's probably fair.

[Brett Vesley]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brett Vesley]

There's a lot of crossover on the menu. On the. I mean, the ingredients that they use on the menu.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot of pages of style. I don't even cross over lasagna with some of the stuff they're doing with those.

[Dick Toledo]

I guess you're right. There is a lot of chicken noodles.

[John Holmberg]

Chicken meat.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesley]

And so many.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Pork.

[Brett Vesley]

I got a couple. What if it is?

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesley]

First one's a lady walking in the snow and gets crushed by a roof.

[John Holmberg]

A whole roof. She's just outside.

[Brett Vesley]

Well, not the whole roof, but a good portion of it just wandering around.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Yeah. What happened?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, explosion.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. And then a lady. And then a car just backs over.

[Brett Vesley]

Looks like.

[Dick Toledo]

But she did back over close, but.

[Brett Vesley]

I think that's her scamper in a way.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a second. There she is. Just.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, explosion in the distance. Look at the bottom picture.

[John Holmberg]

Something. Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Something pulls up.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, yeah, there it is.

[John Holmberg]

Way off in the back. And then a guy in a car just runs her over after she's under. And she climbs out from under the car and just runs away. That's spectacular.

[Brett Vesley]

She made it in time for work.

[John Holmberg]

No one. So no one in this entire video said, this is what happened? Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Let me see what the translation is.

[John Holmberg]

They don't translate because it's in Brady's.

[Brett Vesley]

Google said, someone says, that's not the same person.

[Brady Bogan]

But you don't want to translate that on your computer.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. You're going to get on a list. You're going to get radical.

[Dick Toledo]

Not with this administration, I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm. I'm glad. And this is the one case I'm glad Brady has no curiosity because he'd be radicalized by whoever runs the site.

[Brett Vesley]

Said that was the pork factory that blew up.

[John Holmberg]

It's Afghanistan or the Palestinians or whatever.

[Dick Toledo]

Why are you demonstrating at Columbia?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I felt the urge.

[Brett Vesley]

Next one's a couple of dogs whispered.

[John Holmberg]

Something to me with his brain and I thought, he's right.

[Brett Vesley]

A couple of dogs on the beach. You got one going for a little stroll.

[John Holmberg]

Ones come flying in from way off and crushes the dog on the beach. A full tackle from a good 40ft away. Peking. He's dropped some sort of mini husky.

[Brady Bogan]

Lawrence Taylor back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

Man, that was awesome. Just side humps him. Bang. That other dog was just enjoying his day.

[Dick Toledo]

Just trying to be on the beach.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my.

[Brett Vesley]

Last one's a drunk dude showing his buddies he can break a bottle over his head.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Sweet out. Oh, man. First one is a fail. You didn't tell me how many times I had to try. Second one doesn't work. Oh, man.

[Brett Vesley]

Yes. They're ringing. Is it?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, here's the third one. That OE bottle is two of them. Oh, the third one doesn't break over his head.

[Brett Vesley]

Okay, I'm done.

[John Holmberg]

Here's your money. And he just. And he gives the guy the bet.

[Dick Toledo]

Like, are those shorts?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, there's.

[Brady Bogan]

I wouldn't play it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not playing any of that. Oh, there's another swing at his head. This bottle is impervious to breaking. I don't think it's glass. Your ass ringing, man. Hey man, you better stop doing that cause your is ringing.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that natural selection if it doesn't work?

[John Holmberg]

Hey guys, I just found Butterbean and evidently he's been doing on an Ozempic or something. He says he can smash his bottle on his head. He's standing over there. Done it like five times. I guarantee you that, Butterbean. Guarantee you skinny Butterbean. Your is ringing. And then he just handed him the money. Bet ya. I can do this. Oh, God damn it. Here you go. Sorry guys. Sorry. Wasted everybody's time. This is how bad that guy looks. If I took my shirt off right now and had my tank top undershirt on and I was retarded, I'd look just like him. Luckily for you, my isn't ringing this morning.

[Dick Toledo]

Your scars look like tattoos on your shoulders.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're cool. I actually like my scars. I want to put happy faces on them. They're just straight lines. My shoulder scars. Yeah, so it would just look like, like a bored happy face. All right, Bert, what do you got?

[Brady Bogan]

All right, it's Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Happy Friday. The trouble comes in. Bert's. Okay, we're Starting off with a.

[Brady Bogan]

Start off with this idiot is.

[John Holmberg]

What's he smoking? There's a guy just. Oh, no.

[Brady Bogan]

What's he doing?

[John Holmberg]

M. 80s in his mouth? He's got no teeth.

[Dick Toledo]

He's got no teeth.

[John Holmberg]

He's got. It's Leon spinks from the 70s. Yeah, he's got no teeth. And they're going to light up.

[Dick Toledo]

Two or one, two.

[John Holmberg]

Two M80s in his mouth. Is this going to go the way I think it is? This dude's friends are lighting the M.80s. They're in his mouth. He's holding them in his teeth. Come on. And the. Oh, my God. We cut to the hospital. His jaw's gone. Oh, my God. The whole lower part of his. Was it worth it?

[Brett Vesley]

He was 100 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

He looks a little like Tracy Morgan right there.

[Brett Vesley]

He does.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Those M80s didn't agree with me, and I threw up my face on the Madison Square Garden floor. Oh, my God. It just blew his face.

[Brett Vesley]

Hannibal.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Anybody hungry?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, someone eating their own arm. Oh. Oh. It's a little person who's got a massive wound on their arm.

[Brett Vesley]

And she's.

[John Holmberg]

She's eating her own arm. It's still attached. You've gotta feel that.

[Brett Vesley]

Crocodile, Crocodile.

[John Holmberg]

How many people are there? This was a spectator sport. Wow.

[Brett Vesley]

Open the concessions. She's hungry.

[Brady Bogan]

There we go.

[John Holmberg]

Holy cow. Here we go. All right. I don't know what this is. Is that a bucket of diarrhea? He's.

[Brett Vesley]

It's a woman down there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a funnel with poop in it. And it's somebody. You can only see their eyes and their throat. And swallowing the funnel of what looks like diarrhea. I'm assuming that's not pudding.

[Brett Vesley]

That's a woman.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's got a bra on. That's a good giveaway.

[Brett Vesley]

And that's just that right off.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody eating tons of diarrhea. Man, oh, man.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, where's my next one, sir?

[John Holmberg]

It's like a cup of diarrhea. It was.

[Brady Bogan]

It was almost like sticking along the.

[John Holmberg]

Same vein here, but size of shrimp cocktail. All right, here's somebody's butt. Oh, there's a lot of poo. All right, they're having. They're having sex. A lot of food that is. Oh, my God, there's so much poop. This is.

[Brett Vesley]

Oh, God.

[John Holmberg]

Ready? In the gay community, I believe this is called raw dogging. Oh, that is so much poop.

[Brett Vesley]

That was my first experience. I don't like it.

[Brady Bogan]

It's clean.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, go ahead.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I think that's it.

[John Holmberg]

All right, hit it again. Let's see it again. Now let's listen to them. You finish?

[Brett Vesley]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Poop. I mean, none of.

[Brady Bogan]

My ass.

[John Holmberg]

That same guy who said you're s. Is ringing. He's not wrong. Those people that if you don't get AIDS from that, you're. You have those pig bacon cells Freddie was talking about. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll change body parts.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a penis. It's a just earthworm.

[Brett Vesley]

And an uncut.

[John Holmberg]

Is that an earthworm?

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure?

[Brett Vesley]

I've identified it.

[John Holmberg]

All right. And it's going into the urethra.

[Brett Vesley]

It's a nightcrawler.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Of an uncut penis. But the. The skin is over. That's it. Just. He ate it up. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

And you have to sprinkle on that.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brett Vesley]

Sprinkle coffee on his penis.

[John Holmberg]

Does that make him come out? Yeah, I. I have better things to do with my time than unearth worms. How bored were you as a kid?

[Brady Bogan]

And it was when you go.

[Brett Vesley]

And if you're going fishing, you go.

[John Holmberg]

To the store and buy them.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're too cheap.

[Brett Vesley]

I didn't know about this technique. And Muckrat Ray did it.

[John Holmberg]

You wasted someone's coffee because you didn't want to spend a dollar on 20.

[Brett Vesley]

I was throwing away the coffee stuff.

[John Holmberg]

That's old coffee.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then earthworms come out of that. Yuck.

[Brady Bogan]

Ready?

[John Holmberg]

You guys are weird.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll finish with this one.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. For those of you guys who don't know, he basically uppercuts. Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay. A guy punched another guy in the ass with an uppercut and then lifted him up. But basically, this guy from asked no support. So, like, I didn't understand what the big deal was because the person who, like, you could hear it in the video, the guy recording goes, oh, oh, it's all clean. And I was like, doesn't everyone do this? Like, I don't understand what the big deal is. Okay, so let's do it this. They're face to foot. Brett and I are face to face, and I go down with a big, fat right uppercut between your legs. You've got enough lube on your butt.

[Brett Vesley]

With me on hunger.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. You have lube in your butt that. My fist hits the. Hits it and goes into the elbow. And then I continue to curl you up to my shoulder by the anus. And that's something these guys did outside in a parking lot.

[Brett Vesley]

The podcast.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What was the podcast called? The Brolapse.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I'm not Sure.

[John Holmberg]

That's hot.

[Brett Vesley]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'd stumble across that on my iTunes podcast list and go, oh, yeah, we.

[Brett Vesley]

Got a new one today.

[John Holmberg]

No Rogan today. What's this guy up to?

[Brady Bogan]

And we'll finish.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. He punched him from the front. Yeah. That's hard to hit a butthole that clean. That took three or four shots before he's like, there it is. You can't if you can't see the B hole.

[Dick Toledo]

I think the receiver was ready on that one.

[John Holmberg]

You can't. Of course he was ready. But even still, Toledo. Give me five tries. I'm going to miss the first two or three. I'm. I feel it. Uppercut. Yeah. Coming straight in. Like, if you were turned around, I'd even probably still need a second punch.

[Brady Bogan]

Like Don Flamingo on Mike Tyson's. Punch out that big looping uppercut.

[John Holmberg]

How do you do this? What has happened to the simulation? Sure, I'll try that. Somebody had to agree to it. You know what I want to do?

[Brett Vesley]

Do it.

[John Holmberg]

Throw this uppercut. But you need to be facing me. Let's see how many times it takes before I get it in there. And then I'm gonna lift you up strongman style to my face. By my butthole. Yes, by your butthole. Okay. Let's go out in the parking lot and do that so people can watch. Then you had to get a third friend to film it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't like people anymore. You got one more? No, we're okay. Good.

[Brady Bogan]

I figured fist all the way up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What are you gonna do? What do we do?

[Brady Bogan]

Can't top that.

[John Holmberg]

It's the end of the night. Get a towel, go to sleep. Wow. Just doesn't make sense anymore. There goes your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.