Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: March 21, 2025
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesley, and Dick Toledo
Source: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

1. Weather Forecast and Shade Solutions ([00:43] - [02:09])

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg discussing the anticipated heatwave, predicting temperatures soaring into the 90s next week. Dismissing concerns voiced by the weatherman, Holmberg confidently states, "I'm not a wizard. I don't have a crystal ball. I just know it's gonna get hot." To help listeners cope with the extended sunny days, the team promotes All Pro Shade Concepts, highlighting their automatic and electric shade solutions. Holmberg enthusiastically shares, "They did Brady's house. You should get yours, too, if you've got a space that you're like it's too much sun."

2. National Single Parent Day Discussion ([02:09] - [04:17])

Bret Vesley announces that the day encompasses multiple observances, including National Single Parent Day. The hosts engage in a lighthearted debate about the definition of single parenthood, with Holmberg humorously remarking, "You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself," referring to a co-host's comment. They explore the complexities and societal perceptions of single parenting, blending humor with genuine conversation.

3. Alien Abduction Day and Statistics ([06:25] - [10:18])

The team delves into the topic of Alien Abduction Day, discussing its implications and the associated statistics. Brett Vesley cites data from the National UFO Reporting Center, stating, "The odds of being abducted by aliens in America is approximately 1 in 1834." Holmberg expresses skepticism, questioning the terminology and the validity of the statistics. The conversation underscores the hosts' playful skepticism towards extraterrestrial phenomena, concluding with Holmberg humorously comparing the odds to his betting experiences: "I have bets on FanDuel that have worse odds than this."

4. America's Tipping Culture ([10:18] - [13:32])

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the evolving tipping landscape in the United States. Bret Vesley reports, "America's average tip is now 19%," breaking down statistics by state and generation. Delaware leads with an average tip of over 21%, while California averages around 17%. The hosts critique the obligatory nature of tipping, sharing anecdotes about forced tips at tow yards and questioning the fairness of additional fees. Holmberg emphasizes frustration, saying, "That's America right there. It's like I'll waste this and pretend and not only that, waste it by putting it in another box instead of just throwing it out."

5. World Happiness Report Summary ([15:30] - [16:27])

Brett Vesley presents findings from the World Happiness Report, revealing that Finland ranks first for the eighth consecutive year, followed by Denmark and Iceland. The United States stands at 24th place out of 147 countries, the lowest ranking since the report's inception twelve years prior. Holmberg offers a candid perspective, "I think we are so spoiled compared to everyone else. They're appreciative. I'd say we're the least appreciative."

6. Science News: Atlas Robots and Pig Cells Combatting Cancer ([19:04] - [25:31])

a. Stranded Astronauts' Compensation ([19:04] - [20:07])

The hosts discuss an unusual report about stranded astronauts receiving only $5 per day for incidentals despite being on a $150,000 annual salary. Holmberg sarcastically remarks, "I have bets on FanDuel that have worse odds than this."

b. Boston Dynamics' Atlas Robot ([20:07] - [22:54])

Bret Vesley showcases a new video of Boston Dynamics' Atlas robot, which performs complex movements like walking, running, crawling, cartwheeling, and even breakdancing. Holmberg raises concerns about the militarization of robotics, asserting, "This is Terminator. They are death machines." The hosts debate the ethical implications, with Holmberg warning, "Don't think they aren't. That's the first and real meaningful thing they're doing with robots will be arm them and make them military superstars."

c. Pig Cells as a Potential Cancer Cure ([23:37] - [25:31])

Brett Vesley shares an intriguing yet confusing report titled, "Could the cure for cancer be tricking our body into thinking it's bacon?" The discussion unpacks the concept of modifying the immune system to perceive cancer cells as pig cells, thereby targeting and destroying them. The hosts humorously critique the scientific jargon and the feasibility of such a method:

• Holmberg: "Your body doesn't think that your cancer cells are baking and then you digest cancer. That's how it works."
• Vesley attempts clarification: "Researchers in China figured out how to make our immune system think cancer cells are pig cells."

The segment highlights the hosts' skepticism and comedic take on scientific advancements.

7. Scam Alert: Cat Surgery Fraud ([28:04] - [29:31])

Vesley warns listeners about a prevalent scam targeting pet owners in Seattle. The trick involves deceptive phone calls informing individuals that their missing cats have been hit by cars and require urgent surgery, demanding payments via Venmo. Vesley recounts, "Luckily he didn't send the money," emphasizing the importance of vigilance against such frauds. The hosts advise listeners to remain cautious and verify any unexpected communications regarding their pets.

8. Cheesecake Factory Menu Expansion ([30:07] - [31:13])

The conversation shifts to the Cheesecake Factory announcing an expanded menu, adding 20 new items while removing 13, resulting in a total of 250 choices. Holmberg expresses astonishment, "I don't think they're making it. I think they just heat stuff up," humorously speculating on the logistical challenges of managing such an extensive menu. The hosts envision the kitchen operations, comparing it to multiple separate kitchens working in tandem.

9. Humorous Segments and Absurd Videos ([31:13] - [42:31])

In the latter part of the episode, the hosts engage in humorous commentary on a series of absurd and grotesque videos. These include:

• Failed Bottle Uppercuts: Holmberg describes a failed attempt to break a bottle over someone's head, exclaiming, "Those M80s didn't agree with me, and I threw up my face on the Madison Square Garden floor."

• Violent Animal Interactions: Discussions about dogs being overwhelmed on beaches and a person attempting to eat their own arm, with Holmberg sarcastically questioning the necessity of such content.

• Raw Dogging Incident: A segment features a drunk individual attempting a risky prank, with Holmberg mockingly detailing the absurdity: "You're going to get on a list. You're going to get radical."

These segments showcase the hosts' penchant for dark humor and their ability to entertain listeners with exaggerated and fantastical scenarios.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg ([00:48]): "I'm not a wizard. I don't have a crystal ball. I just know it's gonna get hot."

• Bret Vesley ([10:22]): "American's average tip is now 19%."

• John Holmberg ([15:54]): "They don't ask those people up in that arctic area this question in November. They're thrilled when this comes up in like May."

• John Holmberg ([22:15]): "This is Terminator. They are death machines."

• Bret Vesley ([23:37]): "Could the cure for cancer be tricking our body into thinking it's bacon?"

• Bret Vesley ([28:04]): "There's this horrible scam that happened in Seattle."

• John Holmberg ([31:07]): "I don't think it makes any sense anymore."

Conclusion

The March 21, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of topical discussions, ranging from societal issues like tipping culture and happiness indices to intriguing scientific advancements and scam alerts. John Holmberg and his co-hosts infuse humor and skepticism into each topic, providing listeners with both information and entertainment. The episode underscores the show's mission to "entertain, question, and disturb" its audience through lively banter and engaging content.