03-21-25 - Busted Brackets Remind Us Of Why We Love Madness - Friends Who Change Their Names In Their 40s And People Who Create Their Own Nicknames - John And KRay Went To Spring Training And Got Reprimanded By An Old Couple

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: March 21, 2025 Title: Busted Brackets Remind Us Of Why We Love Madness - Friends Who Change Their Names In Their 40s And People Who Create Their Own Nicknames - John And KRay Went To Spring Training And Got Reprimanded By An Old Couple

Release Date: March 21, 2025

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1. Introduction to the Episode

In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg, along with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delve into their recent experiences and ongoing topics that resonate with their audience. Skipping over the advertisements, the show kicks off with John expressing excitement for Friday and cracking jokes about listeners' bracket choices in the ongoing NCAA tournament.

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2. Busted Brackets and FanDuel Betting

The episode opens with a discussion about bracket standings and the unpredictability of the NCAA tournament:

John Holmberg [01:18]:
"And this is the first year I've allowed my computer to pick my brackets."

John shares his personal bracket standings, highlighting his position and the movements among other participants. The conversation naturally transitions into their previous year's interaction with FanDuel:

John Holmberg [03:10]:
"We asked FanDuel if we could do live betting under their name, and they were hesitant. But we took a few thousand dollars and ran with it anyway."

The hosts reminisce about the challenges faced with gambling laws and the logistics of distributing QR codes for bonus bets. Bret and John recount how they creatively circumvented restrictions by handing out envelopes with cash:

Brett [03:05]:
"She wasn't handing out the money, though."

John Holmberg [03:13]:
"You and I were tracking suit on."

This segment underscores the camaraderie among the hosts and their inventive approach to engaging their audience through interactive betting.

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3. Experiencing Spring Training: A Story of Interaction with an Elderly Couple

Transitioning to a more personal narrative, John and co-host KRay recount their visit to a spring training game at Salt River Fields. The highlight is their unexpected encounter with an elderly couple whose annoyance with the hosts' conversation about the Suns leads to a humorous yet tense situation.

John Holmberg [23:03]:
"Yesterday, I went with Kevin Ray to spring training and met an old man and his wife who were clearly not enjoying the game."

The hosts vividly describe how their spirited discussion about the Suns and the resultant use of strong language drew the ire of the couple:

John Holmberg [29:16]:
"If you could have a conversation with that ugly ass wife of yours, maybe you wouldn't have to tell people to shut up."

This led to a comical yet exaggerated internal monologue where John imagines retaliating against the couple, blending humor with frustration:

John Holmberg [35:33]:
"I want to punch that old lady square in the mouth."

The interaction serves as a platform for the hosts to explore themes of generational differences, social etiquette, and the potency of language in public spaces.

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4. Friends Who Change Their Names in Their 40s and Creating New Nicknames

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the complexities and social nuances of changing one's name later in life and the adoption of self-created nicknames. John shares his experience with a friend, Dean Dorsey, who legally changed his name in his 40s:

John Holmberg [12:53]:
"Unless you've committed a crime, you're not allowed to change your name and expect people to follow along."

The conversation humorously touches on the difficulties of renaming, especially when the new name doesn't seamlessly fit into existing social circles:

John Holmberg [13:11]:
"I'm grandfathered in on your name change. I'm not doing it. You're forever going to be that guy."

The hosts debate the legitimacy and practicality of adopting new names, considering factors like personal identity versus social recognition. They also highlight the awkwardness that can arise when introducing oneself with a nickname that doesn't naturally develop from interactions:

Brett [16:05]:
"Did he come up with that or did you guys come up with that?"

John Holmberg [16:20]:
"I like being called Laser. Why is his name Laser? Does he ever tell you? Do you ever ask?"

This segment delves into the authenticity of self-assigned names and the often humorous resistance encountered from peers when attempting to establish a new moniker.

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5. Reflecting on Modern Interactions and Language Use

Throughout the episode, the hosts reflect on the impact of language and behavior in public settings. They express frustration with how societal norms clash with personal expressions, especially concerning the use of profanity and casual interactions:

John Holmberg [29:05]:
"And the reason why is because he knew that miserable shrew was going to beat the life out of him all the way home."

The dialogue continues with explorations of generational clashes, the persistence of certain social etiquettes, and the challenges of maintaining authenticity in various social scenarios.

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6. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts maintain their humorous and candid tone, emphasizing the importance of staying true to oneself while navigating the complexities of social interactions. They conclude by reinforcing the camaraderie and shared experiences that bind them together as co-hosts and friends.

John Holmberg [49:14]:
"I have heard enough of this."

The episode is a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful commentary on everyday social dynamics, making it engaging for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

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Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg [01:18]:
  "And this is the first year I've allowed my computer to pick my brackets."

• John Holmberg [03:10]:
  "We asked FanDuel if we could do live betting under their name, and they were hesitant. But we took a few thousand dollars and ran with it anyway."

• John Holmberg [12:53]:
  "Unless you've committed a crime, you're not allowed to change your name and expect people to follow along."

• John Holmberg [29:16]:
  "If you could have a conversation with that ugly ass wife of yours, maybe you wouldn't have to tell people to shut up."

• John Holmberg [49:14]:
  "I have heard enough of this."

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Key Takeaways

• Brackets and Betting: The unpredictability of the NCAA tournament keeps listeners engaged, with hosts sharing their strategic approaches and mishaps in bracket selections and betting through platforms like FanDuel.

• Name Changes and Nicknames: Changing one's name in adulthood presents social challenges, with the hosts humorously dissecting the effort required to have a new name accepted by friends and acquaintances.

• Social Interactions: The interaction with the elderly couple at spring training highlights generational differences and the sometimes comical clash between personal expression and social expectations.

• Language and Etiquette: The hosts navigate the fine line between candid conversations and maintaining decorum in public settings, reflecting on how language affects interpersonal dynamics.

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Tune In: For more engaging conversations and entertaining insights, listen to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), available through the 98KUPD app or www.98kupd.com weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only. $5. First deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step to war two.

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John Holmberg]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil. Sitting right here.

[Brett]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. That's a lot of. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday already? My God, it's Friday. Good job, everybody. It's 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Freddy. There's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. There's everyone's brackets. There's everybody's brains. We're all looking. Where did you fill one out? You didn't do in this year. Now let my computer do it. And this is the first year I've allowed that to happen.

[Freddy]

How's it holding up?

[John Holmberg]

Good. I've got. I had two losses. Three losses yesterday. One that really hurt me in that it. It affected the next round and I don't even know which one it is. Not even looking at the teams. I'm just looking at the boxes with the X's or the green check marks on my. So it's a pretty good. I'm currently in 13th place. Well, tied for second place is two wins ahead of me. And then it jumps to 11th and 13th, so there's 10 people.

[Brett]

How's Hopkins doing?

[John Holmberg]

And where's Doug at? Let's see, Doug is. No, no, no, I'm just scrolling scrolling. Oh, Doug. Oh, I'm still scrolling. Well, I don't see his name at all.

[Brett]

Your computer pick is beat.

[John Holmberg]

There he is. He's 29th. But again, the difference between 29th and 13th is one win. He's got 11. I've got. Or. No, he's got 12. 11 or 12. I've got 13 today is movement day. Oh, yeah, yeah. Today's when everybody's gonna start falling out. So it's. It's the. The least productive day in all of man's sports. Because, damn it all, this is just flat fun. And we got friends in town that come out every year. His name is Dorsey. Well, it was. And now it's Dean. He's a new man. And we're gonna. We got to gang over at Four Peaks to fire up early if you got. Hey, you guys out there, if you're listening, if you want to get up and hang out with us at Four Peaks, we're gonna go over there. We. Last year, great time. Got Fanduel involved, sort of, and had this thing where our. Our sales lady. I don't know how she did this. I still don't know if we're allowed to talk about it. There's got to be, like, a statute of limitations on this.

[Brett]

I got a couple more years probably, but let's see.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see. Let's see if the RICO feds come a knock.

[Brett]

She wasn't handing out the money, though.

[John Holmberg]

I was.

[Brett]

And me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right, you and I were.

[Brett]

Track suit on.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. You wore your tracksuit. You had envelopes with cash in them. And we asked Fanduel, can we do, like, live betting inside under the name of Fanduel? And they're like, not really. Like, would you just sponsor it? Like, heck, yeah. We'll sponsor your part. But they didn't know that we'd taken a few thousand dollars out of the. I don't even know if the company knows. I think it was the company's money. Our company. We got cash somehow, and we just had.

[Brett]

Sorry, who cares?

[John Holmberg]

So we did that. And then we found out later that they're like, we can't do that. That's really illegal. I'm like, what's illegal about that? I was like, it's just because you were. Games of chance or something like that. I don't know what it was, but there's some sort of legality to it. But we'd wander over to people and go, it was the greatest game of all time.

[Freddy]

Scores.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Black guy, white guy, who scores next? And then I was walking up to strangers at tables who weren't there because of KUPD or our party or Fanduel or anything else. Just go, how you ladies doing today?

[Brady]

We're fine.

[John Holmberg]

How are you? Like, I'm good.

[Brady]

You work here? I would like another glass of water.

[John Holmberg]

Like, no, I don't work here. Black guy, white guy who hits the next basket.

[Brady]

I've gone black.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, jesus, that was fast, lady. I got 50 bucks on it. And she would. And you know that one. There was a table of old ladies and the one lady kept going, come on, black. Come on. And she, you know, and then it was kind of a Middle Eastern looking guy that hit the next shot. I remember she. I gave her the money. I felt bad.

[Brett]

Close enough.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, close enough. But maybe we can do that with our own money, you know, at tables and stuff. Get a guy who's got maybe Dean Dorsey, our friend Dean Dorsey can somehow or another, like he'll put 20 bucks up, I'll put 20 bucks up and we'll play black or white or. That was the most fun. It's like, why are your house.

[Freddy]

If you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he does wiring, he does all sorts of computer stuff. If you. If you. We. The fun one was like, all right, with a minute 40 left on the clock and there's like three and a half minutes left. Will the score be even or odd? And you start. That started getting like, really? We were getting some tension and those things because it was, you know, three, four seconds later. How many. This is the one. FanDuel has that one thing. How many three pointers in the next three minutes, how many dunks will there be in the next? And man, I have won some money on those. Just goofing around. And then sometimes you're just like, oh, two seconds later. I've got a bunch of money. That dude dunked it late. It's a blast. So we'll be out there today, goofing around. You can come out, hang with us. It's. I don't even. I mean, I'm not even sure KUPD knows this is a thing.

[Brett]

As Trip know you're giving his money away last year or we were giving his money does now.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know how we got that money. It was cash.

[Brett]

I don't know the sales. Don't ask.

[John Holmberg]

Jennifer.

[Freddy]

The Brinks truck just pulled up.

[John Holmberg]

Jennifer. Nothing off for. I'll tell you exactly how it happened too, because a week prior to the event we. Larry was going crazy. He's got this thing on Friday and Fanduel hasn't like because initially it was going to be bets. Like you could just go get a code and it would give you free bet money. So we would go over, make the proposition at the table. And if you hit it, somehow or another we're going to give you like a QR code. You download you put it in your FanDuel account, would have 20 or $50 more in it. And we're trying to get that together, but you have to print out, like, a million QR codes to give to people. And so we're running into a little logistic issue. And then it got closer and closer and closer. And in true salesperson fashion, they weren't doing anything. That's kind of their other job outside of just some radio sales. They don't do anything outside of the one. Well, they get paid. They take a paycheck from someone, and then they just disappear. That's how. That's how almost all salespeople work. So she did that, and then the last day, she comes up with, like, $3,000 cash and just hands it over, puts it in envelopes for Brett.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you had to carry it over there. I'm sure we broke a ton of flaws doing that last year with all the new gambling laws that they've got just to have online. And so I don't think the bar news. We can't blame them. That was all on us. Yeah. If anybody's going to get in trouble with Brett, I mean, that was bad. You shouldn't have done any of that.

[Brett]

I know what you're talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Going around with envelopes full of cash. I mean, you make it too obvious. This year, we'll do it without the envelopes. Just making bets at tables with strangers.

[Brett]

Nobody saw nothing.

[John Holmberg]

That should be something people do. That should be something. People walk up to restaurants. They used to do it at a restaurant. There was an Italian restaurant downtown. It's now Joyride. But there was a dude who ran an Italian restaurant. At the end of the evening, he would come over, like Vesuvio's or something. I forget what it was called. And he'd start shaking this. I don't know what he would, like, start shaking this bucket. Pick a number between 1 and 600. What? He's got this bucket of numbers, and he reaches in, and if your number happens, you find your dinner.

[Freddy]

That's awesome.

[John Holmberg]

It was great. And like, that is some sort of gambling. I come over to you. I ask you a question, like, what is it that you. You got a beautiful. You got a beautiful lady at the table. I'm like, is she like a bigger number, son? Like at a 6 and a 9? And I start laughing like, yeah, I think she does. She used to. I don't know, you know each other a while. That. That number starts to kind of become just a distant memory. Yeah. Well, if she pick at the 60 and 9. Let's see. Huh? And he goes, what a number would you choose even though you don't account? And I picked one. It was like 84. 1 in 100, and it was 77. And I'm like, hey, that's not bad. I get, like, a discount. No, you got to get it. All right. And then I said, well, let's go with it. 69. He draws it out, and 69 came up two more later because he's standing there. A lot of people there, but I didn't get anything free. I think he bought me a drink for just goofing around. That was a great idea. But come by and have your waiter go, hey, tonight's specials. If you think of the number between 1 and 10 and I pull it out of my pocket, I'll buy you one of the specials. Like, all right. It's like happy hour. It would be great. We call it Lucky Louie's or, you know, Brett's Dice. Just go out and just roll the dice. What's coming up? Roll dice. What's the number? Eight.

[Brett]

Oh, we should have did that, too. That would have been great.

[John Holmberg]

We get some dice.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Then we'll go in the back and we'll shoot dice.

[Brett]

You in the bathroom?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. How does that happen? How do Italians do that? Brett?

[Brett]

What?

[John Holmberg]

That happens all the time. Italians and blacks playing craps. I know, but you find a place to go play, and then there's money all over.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's easy.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know how you do it.

[Freddy]

Just need a wall, right?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know how the. I know how the logistics of throwing dice. How do you get. How do you do it?

[Brett]

What do you mean? How you do it?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. You get a lot of people involved. They know before. How do you get away with it?

[Brett]

You tell the right people and they meet you in the back.

[John Holmberg]

And the restaurant's okay with that. They have to be. Oh, man, the Jews, they have a choice.

[Brett]

No, they don't.

[John Holmberg]

Guess that's it. I. I want to be part of stuff like that. I want to be stuff I see in movies.

[Brett]

You want a Bronx tale in the back. I want a mush in the bathroom.

[Freddy]

A three Card Monty.

[John Holmberg]

Be sitting in a place that I think this is. This place is going out of business. There's nobody in here. And then a back door opens, and you're like 20 people, and they're throwing dice against the wall and all those videos that Warren G was in, and they're just in the road Doing it. Nobody's stopping them. I watched OP Live, and they pulled up to this apartment complex. It's raining. This apartment complex. These guys are all soaking wet sitting there, and he's like, you guys got reports on your neighbors. Said there's a illegal gambling going on here. I don't know what you're talking about, man. And he's like, all right. And he pats him down. He starts pulling wads of money out of his pocket and dice, it's all wet. And he looks over and goes, is it over in this area here? I don't. I don't know what you're talking about, man. It's my money. Like, all right. He goes over to where they said they were playing dice in the. The ground's wet. There's dollars in it. And, like, clearly there's some.

[Freddy]

Clear it out.

[John Holmberg]

They tried to. They just did a terrible job. There was one die left over in the pile. It was like you guys shooting dice up against it, and the dummies were throwing it up against the door of an apartment. They don't live in there. It's somebody. They're trying to stay dry and hitting somebody's door over. And they finally called the cops because they got, like, nine brothers sitting outside chucking dice against my wall. And I don't know. I can't go outside. I'm going to get in trouble.

[Brett]

Meanwhile, Trevor inside said, oh, there's some black guys out there playing dice.

[John Holmberg]

There are. I don't know how to say this. I don't want to say they're bad people. I think they're fine people. But they're shooting dice, throwing money very loud, and they were all like, 20. And the dude with all the money kept lying, so he's the one who got hemmed up and all the rest. And the one dude started to fess up. Yeah, we were shooting dice in that hallway over there, and it was great. But that's what I want to be part of that, where you scoop up a bunch of dollars. Doesn't seem like anybody ever wins that alley craps game. It seems like red and blue lights flash, and then everybody just. It ends up just being who can pick up the most and run. Because half time you see the movies, they're not picking up, just theirs.

[Brett]

Be like in Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they did it in Friday.

[Brady]

You got knocked up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we'll be doing. We'll be doing this on today. Bring some. Bring dice today.

[Freddy]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness and another thing. Our friend Dorsey, his name's Dean now. I think that's. I don't think you're. Unless you've committed a crime, you're not allowed to change your name and expect people to follow along. Because I'm never gonna call him Dean. I just can't. Like, he's. He was Dorsey for years. He's in his. I don't know if Dorsey's in his 40s and it's too late. You're stuck with it. You're forever going to be that guy. So now he's Dean. Yeah, his family did it. Like, his whole family calls him Dean.

[Freddy]

He's gone from Grandpa Dorsey to Grandpa.

[John Holmberg]

Dean, and they all are cool with it. Like, I'd still be like, nope, I'm grandfathered in. I'm grandfathered in on your name change. I'm not doing it. I never. No, I don't care what it was. If you stuck with it for the first. I don't know, 10 years of me knowing you, that's what you are. Forever.

[Freddy]

I think I'm just gonna square it up with him. I'll go, dean, then you have to call me Monty.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Freddy]

I'll change my name.

[John Holmberg]

And he doesn't get mad when you call him that. But other people, like, think it's fun and they correct you. I kept saying that last year. I'm like, hey, Dorsey's doing this. And people would be like, dean. And I'm like, what? I didn't know he changed his name. Like, what are you saying? Why does everyone yell Dean at me every time I say Dorsey? And then he's like, well, I changed my name because in business, people thought I was a girl before they met him on the phone, somebody named Dorsey calls. Like, a woman named Dorsey's trying to get a hold of me. It's like, God damn it. I'm like, I don't think a Dorsey is necessarily all woman name.

[Brett]

I think we need to come up with the timeline. Like, when. How many years after knowing somebody that their new name does not count? You still get to use the old school name.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

It's gotta be at least 10. You know, somebody.

[John Holmberg]

10 years. I'd even go five.

[Brett]

Five. All right.

[John Holmberg]

If I've been calling you and we see each other quite a bit, right? Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, if I don't see you, if I haven't. How about that? If I haven't seen you or talk to you in a year and you come back as a new person. No, I still. I still got to Call you the old name. Yeah, I'll go. Yeah, it's just. It's just weird to change your first name. Last name's Ladies. Ladies.

[Freddy]

Girl in fourth grade, change her name.

[John Holmberg]

Well, she's not even old enough to be friends with anybody long enough so you can change your name in fourth grade.

[Freddy]

Yeah, it was fifth grade. Her first name was Paige and she.

[John Holmberg]

Changed it to Nicole just for no reason.

[Freddy]

Yeah, she just. She didn't like Paige.

[John Holmberg]

She didn't like the name. Fifth grade's fine. You're a mush head loser. You've established nothing in life. Yeah. You can scramble around and change your name in fifth grade. A little weird when you gotta change.

[Brett]

Legal documents like driver's license or, you know, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, state.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Representative is going to come in and say, all right, Paige, we got to change your name. We've got to do this the right way. I'm sure parents had to fill out a paper or two, but oh, yeah, fifth grade doesn't count at all. Adults changing your name as an adult. What are you, 10? In fifth grade. You haven't even been alive long enough.

[Freddy]

You have to do it before you're 18.

[John Holmberg]

That would be nice if you got. Yeah, you got to make up your mind. And then again, if you move to a new town, which Dorsey Dean did, you can become Dean in the new town. You're Dorsey in the old town. It's like Mad Men.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Don Draper was Dick, what's his name in California. And he'd go back home to that town and nobody knew him as Don Draper. They only knew him as Dick, what's his name? And so they'd call him Dick and you'd. At first I thought they were just mean to him in his old home town. I don't know. My name used to be this. Now it's this. And. And again, worse still, like your neighbor, if you come up with a kick ass nickname for yourself, you can't tell people that's your new name. You can't. It's the Seinfeld episode when George wanted to be called T Bone for no reason. It's just hilarious that anybody would think, you know what? People are gonna like me more if I have a cool name. A muscle mouth. Oh, great.

[Brett]

What about Laser?

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Brett]

Did he come up with that or did you guys come up with that?

[John Holmberg]

He introduced himself as Laser. Oh, okay.

[Brett]

I didn't know that. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, people call me Laser. No, they don't. No, you're in a New area, you go by a name and you earn the nickname Laser. You don't tell people I'm a laser.

[Freddy]

You might do it out of protection. Don't want you to know his name.

[John Holmberg]

Kevin. Nobody named Kevin fires off with laser unless they're in the industry. I invented lasers. Oh, my God. Yeah. This guy is Mr. Laser over here. So I like being called Laser. Why is his name Laser? Does he ever tell you? Do you ever ask?

[Freddy]

I think it had to do with. Basically when he would do stuff, he just Laser focused.

[John Holmberg]

He did it to. He gave it to himself. No grown adult goes, wow, you're really focused. I'm going to now start calling you Laser and I'm telling everyone around you to do the same. Laser. Same with your dad. When Torp. You still don't believe that you did not give him that. You did not.

[Freddy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

I don't think you can give your parents a nickname.

[John Holmberg]

I don't. I know for a fact you can't give your parents a nickname and have all of their lifelong friends go with it.

[Freddy]

If your kids had our card playing.

[John Holmberg]

Nicknames, okay, but it doesn't stick with his college buddies and his. And when he did revolution stuff with the Cubans and suddenly the him a kids call me late Torp. Oh, all right. Well then all of us will do that too because an 8 year old has decided, no. Your dad was known as Torp because he whipped that missile out and wrecked some broads. And they. All of his friends are like, this guy's a torpedo. He did another one. That's exactly it. And Bunny's not because she wrinkled her nose and you, you, you were living in a dream. Oh yeah. If you think you nicknamed your parents and suddenly the whole community was.

[Freddy]

I never nicknamed Bunny Torp. We gave him a nickname and his.

[John Holmberg]

Friends said, I love it.

[Freddy]

They didn't call him Torp.

[Brett]

Go with the 8 year olds.

[John Holmberg]

When I was there, everyone called him Torp.

[Freddy]

Well, I worked on him after years.

[John Holmberg]

You did not. There was no campaign. Nobody's going to do that.

[Freddy]

I don't. The parent friends, I don't think called them Torp all that much. Just the kids.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, when I was there at the country club, Tot Bogan. That's all I heard. I didn't know your dad. My friends that were saying that old men.

[Brett]

Very old man.

[John Holmberg]

I do. Because I was there and I'm like, I didn't know his name wasn't Torp. That was. It was like a year. And I knew, I knew he. I just didn't know. And I said, like, everybody calls this guy Torpedo. It had nothing. You did. Yeah, Torpedo Bogan the Torp. And then, and then, and then his own wife starts calling him Torp.

[Freddy]

No, she always called him Tom.

[John Holmberg]

She was in here. She did say Tom every once in a while, but she torped him now and again because she knew he packed that heat down south. He missiled her too, at least three times. Nobody gives. If all of a sudden I'm like, you know, it's pretty cool. Is that the vet and lady called me Smokehouse. So I'd like you guys to start doing that now. You'd be like, no, asshole, idiot. No one's gonna start calling you whatever you choose as your new nickname. It's dumb. You get it because you earn it. That's it. You can't introduce yourself as a nickname and coming across with a brand new name from somebody you haven't. You know my buddy Craig, who I go to spring training games with, if he all of a sudden just showed up and had like, look, I like to be called Bluey. Why? I just do. I'm not doing that. That's dumb. Bluey. Oh, that's not a thing. Bluey the Madman. Okay, how about if I just keep calling you Craig since that's your name. They call me Flippa because some kids over at the neighborhood saw me in the. In the pool and said I look like a dolphin and it sticks. So you want the world to change to call you Flipper now? Yeah. That's kick ass. No, it's not, Craig.

[Freddy]

The funniest one is where they have that nickname they never want anyone to know about. And they go home and they're like, hey, Flipper.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's because. Well, that's not a nickname. That's somebody making fun of you. Yeah, that's like being nicknamed Face when, hey, look who's here. It's Face. Like, that's my nickname. No, it's not. That's them being mean to you. Yeah. So Dorsey Dean is going to be Dorsey forever. And that's because he's back here, home, where he lives, wherever his new house is over in Texas and all the things he does over there, he can be Dean all day over there.

[Freddy]

You can have two avatars.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he comes home, he goes back to Dorsey. Okay.

[Brett]

Like Avenge Sevenfold. But when they came up with all their shadows.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, M. Shadows. Johnny Christ. Hello.

[Brett]

Sinister Gates.

[John Holmberg]

Sinister Gates was the one that got me. Yeah, I thought maybe M. Shadows was like Michael Shadows. Yeah, okay, but It's Midnight Shadows. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, grown man. I don't go for all that. You earn it. People call you that, and you show up and you just introduced as Slash. That's one thing, because you were Slash coming in. He wasn't Saul. And then I'm like. But I like to be called Slash. I'm like, no, no, Your name is Saul. If I knew you as Saul to begin with, I'm certainly not cranking out Slash anytime soon. That's worse than Boston Chief Slash Hudson. Yeah, I'm Saul Hudson. I like to be called Slash. I bet you do. Well, shalom, Saul. Why don't you call me by my name? I think I do. I think you're living in a world of delusion. Slash now introduced completely to the world as Slash. And plus, rock bands are a little different. Although that M. Shadows and Sinister Gates thing, a little too far. And you're not playing a character like you want people to call you that. That's why rappers make me laugh. It's like, you know, you find out their real names after they get arrested and stuff. And T600, otherwise known as Marvin Davidson.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, oh, geez, come on. It's hilarious.

[Brett]

It's like, all right. Dmx.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, Earl.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And with nicknames for me, it's like, you can call me whatever you see as my nickname. I'm never gonna introduce. Hi, I'm Chancellor. You know, arrogant. It would be like, people call me the Chancellor that. The absolute dip. Dave Pratt. I was like, I'm the mayor of nothing, you idiot. Your name is David. People call me that. Right? Let the people call you, but let them find out you don't tell them.

[Brett]

I've never seen Katie Hobbs at a gavel or any of the.

[John Holmberg]

You know, like, they call meetings to order. It's a judge's tool. He's that dumb, saying that judges have gavels. The mayor would go, all right, everybody. And they just do it to bang on something to keep people. He does. They don't adjudicate. He would always do that, too. And pound that gave a guy. The mayor is gonna make a ruling. Like, that's a judge, you dumb. You don't even know what a mayor is, man. He's stupid.

[Freddy]

Cut another gavel.

[John Holmberg]

We had that for a while. He. I think Larry stole it on his last day because he didn't know it was his last day. He had his note. Larry had his notes for the next show and his gavel, and he stole it and then they let him go. Great stuff. Great story. Another good one. Yesterday I went with Kevin Ray to spring training game.

[Freddy]

The last one, right?

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's still games, so the last one I'll go to. It's. There's. There's another week.

[Freddy]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's. The next Thursday or Friday is when the season officially starts. Even though there's been two regular season games already in Japan with the Dodgers and Cubs, the spring's going to go on for another few days. So the last one I'll be going to, more than likely. I got no time. So sit down with Kevin yesterday, and we're hanging out, and we're at good seats. We're sitting there at the Salt river fields, enjoying the Oakland days, who aren't the Oakland days anymore. And they're also not the Las Vegas days. That's getting weird. They don't have paid a penny, and Vegas is starting to go. Do you guys have any money before we start this stadium? Like, sure, sure. Just get it going. Haven't presented anything. So this Las Vegas, Sacramento A's thing.

[Freddy]

Up in the air.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's wildly up in the air. Anyway, so we're sitting there chatting away, you know, solving life's problems. You talk about this, you talk about relationships, you talk about work, you talk about basketball, you talk about baseball. We're talking about everything.

[Freddy]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98 kpd. Holmberg's morning sickness. Old man in front of us. So now, I always put myself in this category because I was such a huge Al McCoy fan for the Suns, that I then realized that Kevin ray is Al McCoy now. Like, he's the voice of the sun. He's the voice of the sun's broadcast. So there I am with the modern day in my mind, Al McCoy. So I always take my time machine back and go, who do I represent? Probably something like, I don't know, Pat McMahon. So it would be as if Pat McMahon and Al McCoy were at a ball game 30 years. 30 years ago, 1994, those two are at a spring training game. But 20, 25 here, it's me and Kevin.

[Brett]

Good radio finds you.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. I've become that. Good radio just finds me. Brett and I hang out with the voice of the Suns, Kevin Ray. They call him Ray Gun. No, they don't. Nobody calls him that. Don't do that. That's annoying. Nicknames are dumb. So, anyway, we're chatting away, and so I'm in that thing combined age Of Kevin and I is 113, okay? Two of us together are 113 years of experience in life, okay? You do the math on that. Figure it out yourself. Guy in front of us is older, turns around. Now, somebody had spilled the water behind us, so underneath our seat was just a puddle of water. And the old man in front of us turns around and goes, I thought that was only a problem for older men. You young boys shouldn't have that issue. And we start laughing like. Like the two of us have pissed ourselves so violently, we flood the air. So I laugh and, you know, whatever. And he's made kind of a crass joke without being too crass. Sits back down. It's. To be honest with you, it's kind of loud at Salt River Fields. They've got a lot of stuff going on. Music's constantly going. So Kevin and I are talking. I can hear him, but it's not like we're loud. But our voices are both carriers. Like, we both have voices. You can. It carries. The old man sits down. Now, keep in mind, the old man's probably in his late 70s, early 80s. He's got a wife next to him, doesn't want to be there. They're in that. They're in that category of husband and wife. When he says, do you want to go anywhere? Blank. Do you want to go blank? Her first question is, when will we go home? Like, she's already wanting out. Like she's already. When you say, what, do you want to go to the baseball game with me?

[Brady]

Where are we gonna stay the whole time?

[John Holmberg]

So instead of saying, yes, that would be fun. She's already, like, checking out on, what time do we get out of here? You can tell this is not a fun outing for them. And they've got a couple other friends. She's playing wordle on her phone, not even watching baseball. He's sitting there dead quiet, Stone dead quiet. Makes the you guys pissed herself joke and then just sits dead quiet like no life in either of them. And you just look and you're like, is this what it turns into? No wonder all these murder shows exist where spouses kill each other, because this does not represent happiness at all. So Kevin and I are chatting away, and, you know, I can't hear the people behind me because I'm not listening. I can't hear anybody in front of me because I'm not listening. Talking to Kevin ray, the Al McCoy of today, John Holmberg, the Pat McMahon of modern times. Sitting next to each other, having a nice conversation, like two Guys do not getting out of hand. Not. Certainly not being vulgar or anything. Occasionally some adult language said something. And I'm like, well, geez. I mean, you know, we're talking about the Suns, and it gets a little. He's a little inspired, obviously, being the voice of the Suns. I too invested in the Suns this year. And I'm like, this Booten Holzer, this guy's just driving me crazy. I mean, the lineup, bull bowl, get that guy the in the game. And that's as loud as I said it. There's music going in the background. A couple other times, Kevin's like, yep, I agree. It's just. It's criminal the way he's treated this team. He's been negligent to the roster. Like, I agree, I agree. Quiets down. The old man turns young man. Yeah. Could you tame it down with the F bombs just a little bit? It's getting a little out of hand. And I just, from toes to ears, just boil. And I was just. I was just about. I almost went to full Tony Soprano on him and just turned and said, you mind your own business, you dumb old. Because I'm like, where do you get off thinking you're gonna be out in public and the world has to adapt to you? We might have said four. And they weren't like, dirty like, oh, man, I was so deep broad the other day. It wasn't. It was just in passing. You're an adult. You're 80. You've heard it.

[Brett]

I tell him that for himself.

[John Holmberg]

And the reason why is because he knew that that miserable shrew was going to ear. Beat the life out of him all the way home.

[Brady]

That's exactly why I don't go out to those things. The language and the. You hear.

[Freddy]

And you didn't say anything.

[John Holmberg]

And he had to turn around and be the lamest dude in the world. And all I wanted to say was, oh, if you could have a conversation with that ugly ass wife of yours, maybe you wouldn't have to turn around and tell people who are enjoying the day to shut up, you piece of dumb old mother. I didn't say that. I wanted to.

[Freddy]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, I.

[Freddy]

But you're saying the F bomb a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, he knew what we were talking about. And I think that Myrtle gave him.

[Brady]

A little elbow, like, please make the F words stop.

[John Holmberg]

Why? Because you keep writing it in your stupid game. Watch the game. I was never rooted so much for a foul ball to smash into the head. Of an old person in front of me as I did from that moment on.

[Freddy]

The same guy that jokes about you myself.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then again, 113 years combined of life sitting behind this guy. And we're still. Because we both are children at heart. Still have some weird old man sitting in front of us, turning around, going, watch your mouth, young man. Like, are you kidding me? Kevin's 60 years old, for Christ's sake. He can say whatever the f he wants. We weren't whispering in your ear. Have a conversation with that ugly ass dried up woman, you non boner having old bastard.

[Brady]

We don't have a relationship anymore.

[John Holmberg]

We sit and eavesdrop on other people. We tell them we don't like what we hear. Oh, that's the reason I don't ever want to get old. But there I was thinking, I Wonder if Al McCoy and Pat McMahon ever did this. I wonder if McCoy and McMahon ever went to a spring training game. You know, these, these people. These, these people. You're telling me you, Pat?

[Freddy]

I'll answer that.

[John Holmberg]

No. No. Why not? You don't know that.

[Freddy]

You don't know that I know. You do not know well enough that.

[John Holmberg]

You knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't say he's dead. You didn't know Aloy well enough to know you knew him as a introductory guy. He. You were never like, no, you never knew that. Al didn't.

[Freddy]

Around him when there's nothing that was going on.

[John Holmberg]

Me, he's just not there. You don't want him. You don't like. You don't like thinking.

[Freddy]

I wouldn't. It wouldn't surprise me because everyone else, I mean, that's an outlet for a lot of announcers. Like, I'm not on the mic.

[John Holmberg]

I could talk like, yeah, I. I'm Brennaman. And Brennaman would have been a guy people like I would have never imagined. He even tried to sell us after he screwed up. I don't even use those words. Yes, you do. Al McCoy threw some bombs out. Who's gonna clean this mother? Kiss it. You know that I'm so sick of this. I'm gone. Shazam. We're time we put this marriage in the old deep freeze. Lest you start me more. The voice of the suns needs a blowjob. You don't know if Al McCoy was a cuss or not. You want him to not be you. Like when old people are pristine. That's a sure.

[Freddy]

And he's always. Yeah, like you said, probably guarded every.

[John Holmberg]

Time he's out you're making it up the same way I am. One of us is right? Neither of us know. But I like leaning on an adult man going this is a bunch of bones.

[Freddy]

And I don't know if it's that the generation a little bit. My dad wasn't a.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't. That's not generational. Those people swore like crazy. My grandparents said just not around company. They're re my grandpa's. I had no idea. I thought my grandpa was a angel. I heard him lose his mind in a car once. I didn't. Words I never knew. And then I told my uncle my grandpa said F and S and he called a man something a prick. I don't even know what that is. And s. He goes and my uncle's like you were in the car again. He goes that's dad. I'm like what? He goes oh, he's got a terrible. He worked in a steel mill his whole life. Of course he said horrible stuff. He just didn't do it because he didn't want the ear beating from his. His wife.

[Brady]

Not. Not for the children.

[John Holmberg]

My grandpa would just go kids, I gotta learn something. You'll pick it up. Don't worry. And it's funny that all the kids from these people who never swore and they were so angelic. All my uncles and answer just foul mouth beasts like they heard him. He thought he was quiet about it. Al McCoy swore Pat McMahon. You know I was with. I was with Duffy the other day and I was giving her the old what for in the back door. I was think all night. Tell me more about that. Holy shazam. And then some old man had to turn and tell Al McCoy and Pat McMahon you guys want to knock it off with the F bombs. But there I was, the voice of the suns and me and some old man hated it. And I wanted to punch an old man in the back of the head. Ugh. And I wanted to call Cordell and Cordell for him bringing that miserable awful pile of carbon mass to a blanket functionless awful woman sitting there next to him. And you know, the whole drive over was quiet. The walk up was quiet.

[Brady]

Are you gonna have beer?

[John Holmberg]

Should I not?

[Brady]

Well, I don't like the way it smells now.

[John Holmberg]

Have a water, you miserable old.

[Brett]

I don't like the way you smell.

[John Holmberg]

Plopped down in that seat. He was so anxious to have friends. Turns to us. Looks like you young men had a little problem there. I thought that would have dusted opener. Hey. No, we haven't pissed ourselves, you old weirdo. Sit down, have fun. We want a beer. Not allowed. Oh, also, I'd like to let you know the 10 or 11 words that we can't hear in public or we get sad.

[Freddy]

Maybe he has. Oh, duels with him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I told Kevin it could have. He could have had a fake beer. Makes me feel like a man. Even though she emasculated me years ago. I went to the doctor and asked him to pull my prostate out. It was fine. I just never wanted to get a hard on again in case I used it on this thing. I'm thinking about bestiality because dogs are more interesting and better looking. Yeah, Brutal. Brutally miserable. But yeah, he was. And then so I started thinking to myself, oh, he said F bomb. All he said was F bombs. I'm like, I got a couple other in the chamber that aren't F bombs that he's not going to like at all. Because when I start breaking out the C word quite a bit, that lady's hair is going to light on fire. I'm sorry, I didn't know that was going to make you upset. I'll switch out from F bombs to something else. I appreciate that. Anyway. Anyway, Kevin, I met your girlfriend. She seems like she's got a pretty nice on her. You hit that yet?

[Brady]

Make them die.

[John Holmberg]

Don't want to hear it. Get up and move. We weren't talking about.

[Freddy]

So what'd you do?

[John Holmberg]

We laughed a little bit because I'm like, we're 113 combined and some old man just told us to keep it down.

[Brett]

He was 113.

[John Holmberg]

He was on his own. And he's like. And Kevin's like, Kevin automatically goes right to nice Kevin. And he, you know, again, we weren't having this. It wasn't late. It wasn't a rap song. Maybe four bombs. And it was just because we were a little fired up over the suns because they're pissing us off. They're acting like a bunch of babies. See, it did it again. So we start talking. I'm like, are we even hitting it that hard? And he goes, I don't think so. You'd have to try to. And then Kevin points to the old shrewd and he goes, she's been playing that word game. Second she sat down, she broke her phone out and started playing that word game. And he said, and I can see it. Cause the font is massive. Because she's going blind and dying right in front of us. And I'm like, good, I hope the old dies right now. So anyway, we calmed it down. I even touched him and said, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize we'd done it that much. And then I got in my mind, I'm like, wait a minute. Might be nice to him for that old man.

[Freddy]

Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98K U. PD Holmberg's Morning Sickness. You're one of the temperate boys. Look, we're not boys. This dude's 60. Can say what he wants. You have. I don't have to adapt to you. It's not like I was. I wasn't talking to you. It would make sense if I was chatting to you or if I was, you know, making. Oh, it made me upset. It would have been worse had we been like, really loud and we were having a conversation. They were eavesdropping. And it's those moments when you walk away and you start thinking to yourself, I should have just said, hey, mind your own business. You don't have to listen to our conversation. If you two would have any relationship left at all in this dried up mess you call a marriage, maybe you guys would have had your own conversation. You wouldn't have had to listen to mine.

[Brett]

So there's some blue shoes. Get the hell out of here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then the ghost, Al McCoy came out of cabinet. That's right. You tell him before I. That old lady in the mouth. Yeah. So old people, it's time they got off the planet.

[Freddy]

Did you end with a little hug at the end? We're out of here.

[John Holmberg]

No, we stayed.

[Freddy]

We're gonna beat traffic.

[John Holmberg]

No, we stayed longer than they left. They left in the ninth inning. No, they stayed for the whole thing. And they took. And they picked up their blankets even though it was 81. That's how you know you're done with being human. You brought a blank again to bring a. You brought that old corpse that's barely breathing, hasn't serviced you since the Clinton administration. And she's walking out and she's got her blanket. You got to bring a blanket in. Checking in. But you see them going in to a baseball or basketball game, getting another line because she didn't a. I guarantee you she's got a purse with too much in it that's too big be. That blanket's got to get looked. That's going to take them a half an hour to get through security. They're horrible. The elderly, miserable.

[Freddy]

We were at a gang yesterday, the two in front of us. But the worst.

[John Holmberg]

The worst part, Brady, is that it's. You're right. She's got that story. She's getting.

[Brady]

It was just terrible.

[John Holmberg]

The youth today, 60 and 52 were not the youth of today. You, you don't know what you were. You were, you were in the best position ever.

[Freddy]

These grown men and they had these.

[Brady]

Big booming voices and all they said was F this and P that and r this and M17.

[John Holmberg]

Like, shut up. You've been alive long enough, that shouldn't bother you anymore. But you know why they're bothered by it? God, I hope this is somebody's grandparents and they listen to the show and they came home. We're at the game yesterday. I'll tell you where we were. Section 213, we're right there. So if you had grandparents take a look at their tickets because I know they probably had paper ones and your grandma loves wordle. They were the. They got all uppity about words yesterday.

[Brett]

And there was down to everybody's grandparents in the valley.

[John Holmberg]

Wordle and paper tickets. Did they write a check at the box office too? Subscribe to all of them. You want to temper it with the F bombs a little bit. My wife's kind of a bitch and she's going to yell at me in the car. Now. Had he said that, I'd have been like, dude, I'm sorry. I can tell when she sat down, the whole like this aura of C word came floating up. You temper the F words a little bit or I'm gonna hear about it for days. And then she'll never do anything with me again. And then when I say I want to, she's gonna say, well, we don't do anything. I'm kind of forced into this nightmare. I don't want to lose my house at 80. And I'm like, oh, I get it, I'm sorry. And I don't get boners anymore, so I can't really farm it out. So this is it for me. If you guys wouldn't mind not saying F words. We said four.

[Freddy]

The fifth graders got talks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's the thing and that's the problem I have is that he's.

[Brady]

Like, these the kids today?

[John Holmberg]

Look, how old and miserable are you that a 60 and 52 year old man are the kids of today? Shut up. Oh God, I hope his pacemaker breaks today.

[Freddy]

Sorry, Reverend.

[John Holmberg]

Let me get on that real quick. Shut up. Dear Brady's God, you tried to kill him once and modern science saved him by shoving a pacemaker in his big fat man heart. Could you please have his wife fall out today unexpectedly in the shower that she's got rails in. And then when he goes in and sees it, his heart explodes and his pacemaker can't save him. Could you let this couple that I met yesterday, dear Lord of Brady's, go full hackman. Nobody finds him for two weeks. That would be great, too. Thank you, all Jesus. All powerful baby Jesus. Ha ha ha. Lamb of God. Amen. That made me feel better that maybe they didn't wake up today. Maybe the F bombs killed God. That would be worth it if it was on the news and they had a note. They took their lives because they didn't want to be in a world anymore with this much cussing. Yeah.

[Freddy]

The thing about it is, he's probably up this morning throwing shoes with the boys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Freddy]

And these effing guys in the front. I couldn't believe the nerve to talk like this.

[John Holmberg]

He wasn't upset. He. I. We read him. He had that. He has been charged with making sure all he's doing is protecting his ride home at this point, because he was gonna hear it. The only word she was gonna say to him yesterday. And it's probably the first time they've talked since he said, we're gonna go to the game on Thursday.

[Brady]

Where do we leave? I'm not staying in that thing all day. You're gonna drink?

[John Holmberg]

Is that a yes or a no? You dumb old.

[Brady]

I don't want to sit there and listen to kids barking about their genitals the whole time.

[John Holmberg]

Do you don't want to go?

[Brady]

No, I'll go.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy. I can't wait. My partner is gonna be so much fun. Nothing worse than asking somebody a question. You want to go do this?

[Brady]

When do we leave?

[John Holmberg]

It's in, like, three. We haven't even thought about leaving yet.

[Brady]

Do we stay after? Who's going?

[John Holmberg]

I am. Do you want to go or not?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Like, really? You've shown no signs of wanting to go. And then she said, I'll just play.

[Brady]

My word game and waste your time.

[John Holmberg]

So you don't have any fun.

[Freddy]

Maybe his buddy wanted to go. Right when he said he wanted to go. She's like, I'd like to go.

[Brady]

I don't like when you hang out with Hector. I'll sit next to you like some sort of dark cloud overlord of the death of fun. I'm where fun goes to die.

[John Holmberg]

Fine.

[Brady]

And I'd like to sit by you and ruin your day. I've done a good job of that your whole life. And now that we're in your 80s and I realize you can't just give it all away. I'm gonna go ahead and do that.

[John Holmberg]

Fine.

[Brady]

If anybody says anything I don't like and you don't stand up for me, you're gonna hear it for weeks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And you know, he only did it to be nice. He was. He knew. He's like, oh, man, she's not gonna go.

[John Holmberg]

She's not gonna.

[Brett]

Yeah, don't worry about it.

[John Holmberg]

Then all of a sudden, he's on the phone with his buddy. Don't worry, Kevin. Don't worry about it. She's not going. But I do have to ask her. I'm gonna hear about it. I. Look, I. I spend every single waking second of the day trying to avoid hearing about stuff.

[Brady]

Here's that on the phone.

[John Holmberg]

It's hectic. Don't worry about it. Anyway, so Thursday, I'll meet you there, 1245. Don't bring a blanket. That annoys the absolute crap out of me. No, I know. You're a man. I know. I just saying don't bring a blanket. It's. It's a trigger for me.

[Brady]

What are you doing? Are you an active making plans? How come you never go anywhere with.

[John Holmberg]

Me and I don't know, Maybe it's because you're where fun goes to die. Go.

[Brady]

Ah, I'm going to that game. I'll be God damned if you and Hector are gonna have a nice time while we're checking off the earth.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, great.

[Freddy]

Email the ticket back.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry. Go, go ask your son how to email that ticket pack. I don't even know what's a Ticketmaster.com. i. I can't drive over here and.

[Brett]

Give me that paper ticket.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you print it out and bring it over. No, no. Ask you some print. I think it's a C. A C or a P? You hit both of them?

[Brett]

No, that's my wife.

[John Holmberg]

But beside the point. It was pretty great, though. But what would I always think that, Kevin? I told me. What would Al McCoy have done? Hey, you. We're letting off some steam. That's right. Me and. Me and Al McCoy are letting off steam. Go yourself if you can still get hard, you old waste. Yeah, you tell him, Pat McMahon.

[Freddy]

Shazam.

[John Holmberg]

Shazam. Hey, look at my middle finger before it disappears in your wife. Go yourself.

[Freddy]

What a mouth.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, look, she's the last one with dentures. Let's pop those out and give that a run. I hope that all. I hope they're dead. I hope they're dead and I hope there's A note that yesterday was just too much. Too many F bombs. They heard four too many. Or I hope he went home and killed her. Because the ride home was so miserable.

[Brady]

And they're cussing and it's just not fun.

[Freddy]

The games have changed.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. I'm killing her today. And then there's an old man in cuffs. I hope on the news. I hope our. Our friend Troy Hayden from Channel 12 calls. Go there. You got to see this perp walk. This old man is like, if it.

[Brady]

Wasn'T for those youth at that baseball game, she'd still be here.

[John Holmberg]

So I want to thank them for pushing me over the edge and getting rid of that bitch. Finally. All that guy thinks about every single waking second of the day is no matter what I do, I lose the house. I could kill her. I'm going to jail. I can leave her. I gotta move. I'm 80 years old. I'm not really gonna do that.

[Brett]

He just thinks about death all day. Either his or hers.

[John Holmberg]

You know why? You know why? He looks at death all day. He watches death walk around the house just barking at him all day. Hold on, Hector. I can't. I can't. I can't talk right now.

[Brady]

Are you on that phone again?

[John Holmberg]

I don't even know how the phone works. Hector, I gotta call you back. Yeah, I know. She's onto us. She thinks we're gonna have fun somewhere and she wants to stop it before she even finds out what it is.

[Brady]

You were that friend of yours from work. I thought you retired cause you didn't want to be around them anymore. We're supposed to go on cruises.

[John Holmberg]

That's his favorite word.

[Brady]

Are you watching television? Listen to the. My goodness. Is that a Quentin Tarantio movie? It's terrifying. Turn it off.

[John Holmberg]

But I was enjoying it.

[Brady]

No, nobody can enjoy that, especially you. I don't want to be married to a man who thinks that's entertainment.

[John Holmberg]

I used to kill Vietnamese people like it was nothing. For some reason. Killing hers so hard, I'm gonna play.

[Brady]

Wordle and sit one inch from you.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, to that old man, you were a cautionary tale. You're a saint that if you don't kill your wife before 80, it's just a. It's gonna be a nightmare the last few years on the planet. He is a saint. I think that's why Kevin and I kind of were like, all right, sorry about that. If she'd have turned around both barrels. Yeah, barrels. You shut up, old lady. I don't like words. You're playing Wordle. You love words. Here's five new ones. Liquor. That one. Ooh, that's the. Whoops. That was an N bomb. I'm sure you know that one. Old lady. You used it all through your youth trying to keep people out of schools. Racist old hog. Anywho, that was my story for yesterday, and I do like to think of it in sepia tones with McMahon and McCoy having the exact same day 30 years ago would have been awesome, because 30 years ago, McCoy was 60, McMahon was probably 104, but I'll put him in my category at 52. Yeah, I think Kevin's 61, actually. That's where 113 years combined life and we got told to shut up like two teenagers. God, I want to run into them again and punch that old lady square in the mouth, knock her wordle right out of her hand.

[Brady]

My wordle?

[Brett]

I don't know. They had wordle for jitterbugs.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm telling you, when Kevin pointed her out, I looked over her shoulder. The font on this thing was a billboard. It was just one letter at a time. She had to scroll by like it was one of those news feeds that goes across the screen.

[Brady]

I got another seven. Wordle. Wordle. I guessed it.

[John Holmberg]

Sweet relief of death. Please come for me. Let's get a wake up song. While we all as a city, maybe if we put the combined power of putting it out, manifesting. Kids like to say that manifested into the earth today, that these old people's hearts stop after they write a note about yesterday. So we know it was Kevin and I that killed him.

[Brady]

The voice of the suns and his vulgar friend made us kill ourselves.

[John Holmberg]

Kevin be like, oh, boy, I'm in trouble. Yeah, you are. Nobody cares when I do it. Give us a wake up song. 5, 8, 5, 9, 800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD.

[Brady]

Wake up.

[John Holmberg]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Freddy]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.