03-21-25 - Comments/Emails On John And KRay's Day At Spring Training - Indiana Teacher Held Gang Bangs w/Students And We Blame The Parents - John Was Sock Shamed Leaving Spring Training

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Summary: March 21, 2025
Title: Comments/Emails On John And KRay's Day At Spring Training - Indiana Teacher Held Gang Bangs w/Students And We Blame The Parents - John Was Sock Shamed Leaving Spring Training
Host: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Release Date: March 21, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, hosted by John Holmberg alongside Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, the team delves into a range of topics sparked by listener comments and emails. The discussion oscillates between serious societal issues and light-hearted personal anecdotes, showcasing the show's characteristic blend of humor and commentary.

Section 1: Indiana Teacher Scandal and Parental Responsibility

Topic Overview:
The hosts address a disturbing news story involving an Indiana teacher who engaged in inappropriate and illegal activities with students. John Holmberg leads the conversation, emphasizing the role of parents in enabling such misconduct.

Key Points:

• Incident Summary: An Indiana teacher orchestrated gang-related sexual activities with 13-year-old students, facilitated by providing gifts like clothing and shoes, and later inviting students to stay overnight.
• Parental Accountability: The hosts argue that parents share culpability for allowing their children to attend these illicit gatherings, highlighting missed red flags and poor judgment.
• Moral Implications: The discussion underscores the importance of parental vigilance and the dire consequences of neglecting the well-being of children.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [06:16]: "That's on the parents. Whatever happens next is mom and dad. That's no longer. They're in on it."
• John Holmberg [07:49]: "You get these kind of deals... You know, girls like you don't make it."
• Bret Vesely [12:14]: "But I do think and it happened more. I mean the one kid, the 14-year-old said that it happened a couple of times. So he got out."

Discussion Highlights:

• Gift-Giving as Manipulation: The teacher’s strategy of gifting students is criticized as a manipulation tactic that undermines parental authority and blinds children to inappropriate behavior.
• Parental Responsibility: John emphasizes that parents are as guilty as the teacher for permitting their children to engage in such risky situations, questioning why parents would approve slumber parties under dubious pretenses.
• Legal Consequences: The hosts advocate for holding both the teacher and the negligent parents accountable, suggesting that legal repercussions should extend beyond the perpetrator to include those who failed to protect their children.

Section 2: John Holmberg's Sock-Shaming Incident at Spring Training

Topic Overview:
Shifting from heavy societal issues, the conversation takes a humorous turn as John recounts an embarrassing experience where he was mocked for his choice of socks at a ballgame event.

Key Points:

• Personal Anecdote: John describes waiting for his Waymo ride at Salt River Fields, where a group of young people criticized his ankle socks, labeling them as "old and weird."
• Humorous Reactions: The hosts engage in a playful banter about sock choices, reflecting on generational differences in fashion and the awkwardness of public criticism.
• Social Commentary: The segment touches on themes of self-consciousness, ageism, and the challenges of staying stylish across different age groups.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [22:27]: "Socks make me look like I'm a thousand. A crew socks make me look like I'm a thousand."
• John Holmberg [25:00]: "Look at me. You think I'm old? Watch this."
• John Holmberg [26:34]: "Beavis and Butt Head kind of ruined shorts and socks for me because every time I have a pair of shorts on and I have socks I like, I look like Butthead."

Discussion Highlights:

• Sock Norms and Styles: The hosts explore the perplexing world of socks, debating the appropriateness of different styles for various ages and occasions.
• Self-Image and Confidence: John's experience underscores how minor aspects of appearance can impact one's confidence and lead to unexpected social interactions.
• Cultural References: The conversation humorously references pop culture icons like Beavis and Butt-Head, highlighting how media influences perceptions of fashion and self-presentation.

Section 3: Personal Stories and Anecdotes

Topic Overview:
Beyond the primary discussions, the hosts share personal stories, offering listeners a glimpse into their lives and adding depth to the conversation.

Key Points:

• John’s Family Dynamics: John narrates humorous tales about his father’s obsession with weightlifting and his mother’s inadvertent complicity in controlling the household’s food access through tight jar lids.
• Generational Gaps: The stories reflect the differences in parenting styles and personal behaviors across generations, blending humor with relatable family scenarios.
• Host Interactions: The camaraderie among the hosts is evident as they tease each other and build upon each other's stories, enhancing the show's engaging and entertaining atmosphere.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [16:53]: "My dad would hop off the couch and just start doing curls. Like, ah. And my sister's getting, where are you going?"
• John Holmberg [21:25]: "Nothing's wrong for most people with life. Maybe she never made it to the pearly gates."
• John Holmberg [32:50]: "He was doing too much of just one thing. But he liked his arms a lot. They got huge."

Discussion Highlights:

• Father's Weightlifting Obsession: John humorously describes how his father’s sudden bursts of intense weightlifting were a perplexing yet amusing aspect of his childhood.
• Household Control through Jars: The narrative about overly tight jar lids serves as a metaphor for controlling behavior and the lengths to which his father went to limit access to food.
• Impact on Childhood: These stories highlight the sometimes bizarre but endearing dynamics within families, resonating with listeners who may have experienced similar situations.

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully balances serious societal issues with personal humor, creating a nuanced and engaging listening experience. The deep dive into the Indiana teacher scandal provokes thoughtful reflection on parental responsibility, while the lighthearted discussion about sock shaming and family anecdotes provides comedic relief. Through insightful commentary and relatable storytelling, the hosts deliver a comprehensive and entertaining summary of contemporary issues and everyday mishaps.

Additional Notable Moments

• Humorous Take on Aging: The hosts frequently joke about getting older, using humor to address insecurities and societal expectations.
• Listener Engagement: By incorporating comments and emails from listeners, the show fosters a sense of community and inclusivity, making the audience feel involved in the conversation.
• Balancing Tones: The seamless transition between discussing a grave misconduct case and a humorous sock incident showcases the hosts' versatility in handling diverse topics with ease.

Final Thoughts

Holmberg's Morning Sickness continues to solidify its place as Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show by intertwining critical discussions with entertaining banter. This episode exemplifies the show's ability to tackle tough subjects while maintaining an engaging and light-hearted atmosphere, ensuring listeners are both informed and entertained.

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Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[John]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Brett]

He's evil sitting right here.

[John]

Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Thank you very much. Miles to nowhere. That's our theme song, you know. Thank you, ladies. Katie and the Hobbs and the guy. There's a guy in that band, too. Keeping time, keeping it together. Emails are flying in about the old. The old people. I love it. This guy says, john, I like when it says that. I like my name's on the top there. And then the next word is dude. There's two. Greetings, John. Dude, you have smashed a nerve with me. My wife and I argue about what you're talking about all the time. When I say the words, want to go to a game on Tuesday? She never says yes. She starts usually with the question with who? And I'll say, well, me. Who else? I guess it's not enough for me to go. And I'll say something like I did a couple weeks ago, maybe Jeff and his new girlfriend.

[Dan]

Are we gonna stay out after?

[John]

How about you just say, yeah, that sounds fun. Or yes or no? Just an answer. We got into this massive argument about two weeks ago. Same reason. Giant spring training game. She just wouldn't say she wanted to go. It wasn't gonna be fun. Thanks for being relatable and probably pushing me over the divorce Cliff. Jason, don't do that. Jason. And it's not just women. We do it, too. We just think we're more justified because it's like they and women usually do it with. It's not a question. Do you want to go?

[Dan]

Don't forget we've got dinner with Kelly.

[John]

And Nick this weekend that pray In a guy's mind, the first thing you think of is, which one's Kelly.

[Dan]

You've met Kelly a hundred times.

[Brett]

You want the great cans.

[John]

That's what we're thinking.

[Brett]

I know.

[John]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kelly, what are we doing again?

[Dan]

We've got dinner.

[John]

Where?

[Dan]

Their house. We talked about this.

[John]

Who else is gonna be. We do it, too. Who else is gonna be there?

[Dan]

Oh, they have their neighbors in front of. Are we staying all night?

[John]

And as a man, usually we're the smart ones ago. What's our excuse to get the hell out of this thing?

[Brett]

Planning our escape before we arrive.

[John]

Yeah, that's different. That's teamwork.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John]

That's nobody wanting to go. But it's not just women. Although they're worse about it as far as, like, just not saying, oh, yuck. Can you imagine if I ever asked you, Brett, I'm like, hey, Brett, you want to go to a game with me tomorrow? With who? What? Well, how long are we gonna stem, like, never mind. I'm not asking you to do anything with me anymore. Brady. You want to go over to Mongolian barbecue? Who else will be there? Like, what are you. Why do you answer that way? What is it? What a dick move. Wives. You do that a lot. Guys, we just act like we don't want to go, and it shows. We need to be quicker with just, absolutely not. I just don't want to go. Yeah, that is true. It's more honestly going, I don't. I don't like Kelly and Nick.

[Dan]

Why? What did they ever do to you? She's my friend.

[John]

You don't like her. All you do is talk about how much you don't like her. I don't understand this.

[Brett]

That's your problem, not mine.

[John]

That's what women always do. They talk about the women. They don't. And then you hang out with them. Hey, Brett, you want to go see a game today? How long do we plan on sitting there, like, all right, I'll ask somebody else. If you did it with a friend, it would be the worst. And also, people want me to reenact conversations they've written for Al and Pat at the ball game. Want some peanuts? Get your hand in that bag and grab my nuts. Al McCoy. I mean, Pat McMahon. Let me get my hand in that big old bag of yours, Al, and pull out a couple nuts. This is great. We're having a great time. Hey, have you ever had anal sex with a lady? Of course. But tell me in great detail what it's like for you Anyway, I whip out my big one and you know, I'm packing. Oh boy, do I. Legend. So I take the old McCoy deep freeze and I slam it in there. And I mean, I'm a machine. A f. Machine. That's why we call you that. The Machine. Anyway, let me finish, so. And that's what she said anyway.

[Kevin]

The nicknames you never knew existed.

[John]

I'm reaching around, hitting the old speed bag with my hand while the back door is just pounding away. She's screaming and crying, please stop. And I don't listen. Go on. I'm getting half hard.

[Dan]

Could you guys please stop using.

[John]

Shut up. McCoy's in the middle of a story. Shazam. Right in her eye. Yeah, that's. I would like. I would very much like that to be real. It's. What. Kevin and I weren't having that conversation. We weren't. We weren't being awful.

[Brett]

Although you should have been.

[John]

But then, boy did we want to. And you could sense it. Like we just. Man, did we wanna. No question. We wanted to do it, but we didn't. It would have been nicer if we had. So I'm reading a story about Brett found it yesterday. This Indiana teacher that started to have scream gang bangs with her students. She had 13 year old kids. Now a lot of the times we'll sit and say, oh, this teacher, depending on how she looks like she's doing these kids like the greatest favor of all time. The pictures are, this is a rape. This is bad. These kids are scarred. But this one's on the parents.

[Brett]

The one picture looked good. That's what I. That was why I first clicked on him. Like, all right, nice. And I'm like, whoa.

[John]

Yeah, the comments are hilarious because the story is not good, it's bad. And then you go through. So basically she was a teacher. She would take these kids and say, and, and she'd drive around, buy them hundreds of dollars worth of clothing and shoes and, and then like get them like, you know, like this. She's the coolest person ever. Then she called their parents and said, can they stay all night? Right there, that's on the parents. Whatever happens next is mom and dad. That's. It's no longer. They're in on it. That's. That's a culpability of. Yeah, you're as guilty as she is for saying, sure. Why wouldn't my 13 year old boy stay at his teacher's house all night long after he gets all these free presents from her all day? Like there's red flag after red Flag after red flag, and then you say, yes. So she gives him magic mushrooms, doses the kids with mushrooms, and then makes him wear scream masks. And they have sex for hours, according to the report. And the kid comes home like, poof. Little dizzy. What a slumber party, man, I have. She is a teacher, to be sure. I am learning like never before. But yeah, it's all parents. No teacher should ever call somebody and says, hey, we're having a little trouble with long division, if you know what I mean. I'm gonna need your kid to stay all night. As a parent, a decent parent, you're like, no way.

[Kevin]

Now that's a good teacher.

[John]

You hate your kid. You don't like your child at all. If an adult says, can they stay the night? You're like, yup. You want that kid to get trafficked for something terrible to happen? You imagine your parents. Brett. Mr. Zabrowski said Brett's having a little trouble with dangling participles and I want to help him with that. So he's gonna spend the night tonight. Kirk wouldn't go over there and just beat the living crap out of that guy.

[Brett]

Think my son's a twink.

[John]

Yeah, that would have been his reaction. Hell's a dangling partisan. Oh, you're having trouble. You want to spend the night? No. You think I'm a drink? Dan wouldn't have had that. No, Marcy would have called my dad.

[Dan]

You gotta go kill someone, Dan again.

[Kevin]

What is it?

[Dan]

Well, one of John's teachers has called and says he should spend the night.

[John]

And do some math there. What'd she look like?

[Dan]

That's not important.

[Brett]

Mr. Craig's.

[John]

Oh, Christ. What's he look like, Dan? Ah, the boy's gonna go over there and get chocolate sundaed by his teacher. All right, I'll put a stop to it. Yeah, the second you as a parent, give a thumbs up to the all nighter for your 13 year old at an adult's house, whatever happens next is your fault. Oh, yeah. You know, it still shouldn't be a thing. That lady's gotta go to jail. But so should the parents.

[Kevin]

I mean, even at that age, like at 13 or 14, like there's six of us going over to a teacher's house.

[John]

It's boys.

[Kevin]

You just don't go to their houses. First of all, not setting the boys over there, even though it's like no.

[John]

One of them's gonna have an idea. Yeah, I coached a 13 year old boys basketball team with my. My friend. His nephew was on the team and their Coach quit. And my buddy's like, I can't know what I'm doing. I'm like, I don't either. But I, I watch enough. I think we can fake our way through a 13 year old boys league. I learned what a rainbow party is from the kids. Like, how come you guys are wearing. And I, you know, it was, it was the year 2000, so it was a little different time. So I'm like, how come you guys are wearing all these gay wristbands? You know, you could say that back then. What are you talking about? I'm like, these gay ass wristbands. You all have these wristbands. And then they'd start laughing. And one had blue, yellow and red on his end. Well, because you heard of a rainbow party. And I'm like, yeah, but I hadn't. Of course I don't. I'm an adult. Of course I've heard of it. Now you tell me what you think it is. Oh, it's when a girl goes and kisses you here, like what? And she wears a certain lipstick and then gives you the band of that lipstick until you get all the colors of the rainbow. Give me this girl's number immediately. I need to talk to her and her parents. I'm gonna have a slumber party.

[Brett]

I think if Britney Zamora called up. Kurt Vest. Yeah. All right, go ahead. You know he does need some special tutoring, right?

[John]

Wrong or otherwise. But if Britney Zamora was my teacher and.

[Dan]

Hi, Mr. Homebrew. It's Brittany Zamora, your son's teacher. I think he needs to do a all nighter at my house.

[John]

I've been thinking that the whole time. So glad you called. You're a really good teacher. Now, I think there's gonna need to be a little parental supervision of this all night. You understand my concern?

[Dan]

Oh, of course you can be there.

[John]

Yeah, yeah. Is that weirdo husband of yours gonna be around or.

[Dan]

No, he works all night.

[John]

Good, good, good. We're gonna need to clear out some space. Should I bring my Visqueen for when I got a mule, dear?

[Dan]

Why?

[John]

Oh, baby, it's gonna rain. The boy's been pent up his whole life. I don't think he's ever tugged one out. You don't be there for the first unload. What? I know what's going on here. Late.

[Brett]

Don't ask.

[Kevin]

Yeah, you work on him. He's a little light in the loafers.

[John]

I think you can switch it out. I think you can fix the boy. Mr. Craig's like, I want to Take him on a bicycle ride and he'll ride on the head of. Get over here. My boy's not like that. But yeah. The second you say yes as a parent to a teacher overnighter, expect the news to break. They wore scream masks and had a gang bang on mushrooms. That doesn't. I'm not even a little surprised. A teacher with the guts to call parents and go can they stay all night? They've got drugs and masks.

[Brett]

Looking at some of those pictures, I'd wish she wore the screen mask.

[John]

Yeah, that's what the first comment was in the TMZ thing was she should have been wearing the mask like nobody cares about. Again, I firmly believe that it. Yes, it can cause some mental damage. The mushrooms are really. That's right out.

[Kevin]

But I do think and it happened more. I mean the one kid, the 14 year old said that it happened a couple of times. So he got out. Hey, she gives.

[John]

Yeah.

[Kevin]

Shrooms. Guys, you want to go?

[John]

Also tons of gifts like the grooming. The parents don't notice that you got it. And again I blame the parents. Here you get a teacher handing one present to your kid. Like did everybody get one? No, just you. Okay. I gotta go have a talk with this person that's grooming. Hundreds of dollars of clothes and shoes and stuff. And then slumber parties. Yep. You're lucky they're still in the city. She give em to her Ms. 13 friends and those kids would be in some chic's boat in a couple of weeks.

[Kevin]

You hear the words you say sometimes. I mean who talks like that?

[John]

98 KUPD Holmberg's Morning Sickness. That's on the Parents 100 this. This weirdo was destined to get caught doing something. But they helped. I think they gotta go. You know one's gotta at least stand trial at some point. If I was on a jury and they're like, then the parents are crying and like. Yeah, but then we said yes to the slumber party. I'd be like, you did. I'm a degen and I know not to do that.

[Dan]

Come on. We want to stay over at Mrs. Johnson's house. Is that all right?

[John]

Mom, why do you want to stay there so bad?

[Dan]

All the mushrooms, the kick ass Hollywood masks, the sex.

[John]

Why not?

[Kevin]

Sounds like a good party.

[Brett]

It was Indiana, so.

[John]

Well in Indiana it's the only thing that's missing from the story because it's Indiana is that they were related to her. Otherwise of course there's drugs in the house. But that just tells me about the parents house there's drugs in their house, too. And also they're looking for a night out so they can do mushrooms and have crazy sex at their house and scream masks.

[Kevin]

But they spend so much time together already in the schoolhouse.

[John]

They're there all day in the schoolhouse. Yeah. One through K through 12. Even though. Why are we even going to 12? None of these kids are gonna make it that long. They're all gonna be dead of meth by. It should be K through question mark. Like, they're all dead before they graduate. It's Indiana. And if they're not dead physically, they're dead socially by the time they're 18. Nobody's popping out of those cities in Indiana. I'd rather be married to that old lady at the game yesterday than live in Indiana again. E uck. So, yeah, I'm looking at that story, and I'm kind of like, huh, mom and dad, you got some questions to answer? This lady's going to jail. There's no question about it. Rightfully so. That's an easy one. But we need to look deeper into, like, the other ones. Can't really necessarily say that you were. And if you're crying and stuff about it, those are some crocodile tears. You never watch Dateline. That. Dateline is just a. It's a red flag machine. It teaches you all the red flags of, like, when you're about to get killed or, you know, when your wife, who didn't want a hot tub for years, wants a hot tub. You're going to die in that hot tub. She's going. I know that for sure. Every single time the wife gets involved at, like, suddenly she wants to go hunting, you're going to die. She's gonna make it look like an accident. And the wives get away with that for years on end and then usually spill the beans in a letter to somebody. That's. The men are just reactionary. We just. They just kill them and try to walk away like it didn't happen. The mistake men make on those Dateline shows is they date too soon afterwards. That's the biggest. That's the biggest goof. They have a girlfriend at a press conference about their missing wife. Who's this? Well, she's just helping me through this. All right, where's the body, Dave? Huh? I know what you're talking about. I'm all broke up about it, and I needed some companionship, and my son's teacher did slumber party, so I invited her over. Her name's Britney. Yeah, I think Kurt and Dan would have been Pretty much okay with.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John]

Slumber parties with a teacher that looked all right. Now, he would be like, he could stay till 2, but I'm gonna. I'm coming in. And also, knowing my dad, if he would, had to drop me off at Mrs. Zamora's house. My dad started to do something, I noticed a little later when my sister's friends would come over and my sister's friends. It was a white snake video at our house a lot. They were some ridiculously pretty women. My dad would go lift weights. It was the funniest thing in the world. My dad be like, ah. And my sister's getting. Where are you going?

[Dan]

Oh, Lisa and her friends are coming over.

[John]

Lisa? Lisa. Which one's Lisa?

[Dan]

Dark hairs. She sells vacuums.

[John]

Oh, Jesus Christ. My dad would hop off the couch and just start doing curls. Like, he'd puff up for him. I never really understood that. I'm like, oil up. He'd go put a. Like a tank top on. His arms were huge. And he'd come out of the bed.

[Brett]

And be like, yeah.

[John]

I'm like, you just worked out real fast. Yeah, I did. What time's that lady getting here? Like, I don't know. I get time for another set.

[Brett]

But made me get in shape, go.

[John]

Back in his room and just start hitting that curl bar. And his arms would just swell up like canned hams. He puffed up big. Oh, hey. Didn't know you guys were coming over. And I'm like, yes, you did. Shut up, boy. Hi, Lisa.

[Dan]

Hi, John. You're so cute. You're gonna be cute someday.

[John]

Boy, was she wrong. And then they go swimming, and my dad would curl stuff, and then he'd go out in the backyard and do yard work, which he never did, by the way. That was all my job. But when my sister's friends came over, suddenly, he had, you know, hankering to trim roses down here. Doing a little light gardening. Hope you ladies don't mind.

[Dan]

Your dad's huge.

[John]

All right. They're noticing now if I trim some roses, my mom's looking out the window like, what the hell's he. Oh, Christ. Are the girls by the pool? Is he doing fake gardening? I trimmed up some roses for you, Marcy. No, you didn't. That's a good move, though. He had friends from work come over once, and he ran in there and started lifting weights.

[Brett]

What?

[John]

I couldn't figure it out. They go, yeah. I forget their names. Like, Ron and Dave and Jeff. They're popping by for a little bit. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, we're gonna head out. He would get up, like, right before they got there, and he'd look at his watch and he'd get going to get off this big maroon couch we had and then just hear like, Jesus Christ, how much is on this? Like, he's breathing, lifting huge. Just sets of curls and triceps. Arms would come out just like a hot air balloon in Macy's Day. And then the doorbell would ring and it comes Howard and Ron and all the guys. And then. Oh, I see.

[Brett]

So he just kept dumbbells around when people showed it for when he showed up or he actually used them.

[John]

Oh, he used them every day.

[Brett]

Oh, okay.

[John]

All right. He's huge. And. But then you'd see like, Howard's got a girlfriend and she. He brought her over and they were all, oh, I see what's going on. You just swollen up. My dad had full on barbell and curl bar at the end of their bed and he'd kind of stuff it under the bed a little bit. And then he, like, because he's in construction, he'd take those things, those orange little tabs you put on the end of rebar so people smash into it. And he put it at the end of the. I swear to God, my mom probably started doing it on purpose every day.

[Dan]

Oh, God damn it.

[John]

She'd kick one of the edges. Oh, slice her ankle.

[Dan]

We've got to get these weights out of here.

[John]

And then I realized years later the weights didn't represent her ankle pain. There's a lot of emotional pain in those weights because anytime a pretty lady came over, he was pounding them, his weights were going up, he was going through a thing. You know, mid-40s, feeling a little terrible about himself, probably. One thing I got going for me is I've got giant canned ham arms. People will notice. He's way over that now, but that was. That was. There was a stretch there. And as an.

[Kevin]

I know he probably still pumps.

[John]

He lifts a little bit, but he doesn't. He's not like. It was. It was getting. When he started getting huge, it got weird because it was fast. It wasn't like steroid huge either. He was doing too much of just one thing. But he liked his arms a lot. They got huge. And so, you know, he started to get to be a big guy. And I think he started to fall in love with that idea because people would notice it was. He was at it a lot. I mean, you know, the reason. Here's the. Here's the fastest way to get in great shape. Perv out on your daughter's friend. Because, I mean, he was working out three or four times a day. All those girls would come over two, three times a week. He's Jesus Christ. I did arms yesterday and they're coming back again today. I don't think I got it. His arms were swelling up because every time Lisa came over, he had to start lifting. Never did anything with him. He just wanted to. He just wanted to hear it.

[Dan]

Your dad's arms are massive, huh?

[John]

Yeah. I didn't eatin wheat germ. What? That's all I eat is wheat germ. No, that's not true. They leave, God damn it. Who invented this swill? Marcy, what's for dinner?

[Dan]

Wheat germ, asshole.

[John]

Nobody likes wheat germ. We had wheat germ in our refrigerator door, like hundreds of jars of it. And I'm like, who eats this? I have a spoonful of that every morning. And then when I come home before dinner, like before, you just crush all the pizza, like you eat all of it. Well, I have wheat germ. And the wheat germ was for guests really only. And it wasn't. We gave them to guests when we had guests. My dad ate wheat germ in front of him like he was a wheat germ. Yum, yum. Spoonfuls of it. Then when they'd leave, he'd be like, any chicken wings? You wanna get some wings? Yeah. Wanna get some wings? That sounds great. He lifted a lot of. My dad might have the world record for curls because he used to do.

[Kevin]

Curls for the girls.

[John]

He did it well. It was for the girls. All right. The gun show. The sun's out. The guns were out. But I couldn't blame him. I started to do it a little bit, but I couldn't lift anything he had in his room. You should lift weights. I'm like, dad, everything you've got in here is like a zillion pounds. Well, you can take them off. I can't lift the weights. You don't understand. Like, what you have on there is too heavy. Not the bar. So we bought me a curl bar. And I would do it every once. Or my sister's friends would come by. We didn't have the same results. Cause I wasn't eating anything.

[Brett]

Still got the cute.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Oh, you're gonna be someday. You're gonna be adorable.

[John]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Kevin]

You hear the words you say sometimes? I mean, who talks like that?

[John]

98. Holmberg's morning sickness. Oh, it happened again yesterday at the ball game event. A couple weeks ago, the lady that called me ugly yesterday, I'm sitting there waiting for my Waymo. And boy oh boy, is that a system over there at Salt River Fields. So I'm sitting there waiting for the Waymo. There's 30 people hanging around. There's this gaggle of probably people in their early 20s. And I will admit I don't know how to wear socks. I don't know proper sock protocol anymore. Everything looks funny on me, baby. Socks make me look like I'm a thousand. A crew socks make me look like I'm a thousand. Like every sock I put on looks like it's wrong. So I just had a pair of like ankle socks. I'm like, this looks all right. I looked in the mirror for a left. I'm like, hey, I think I got the socks right today. Shorts, ankle socks, regular shoes, T shirt, no big deal. Sitting there waiting for the Waymo. And I hear the guy with these three girls, none of them were attracted enough to have this conversation. And he's like, what are you talking about? And that's the first thing I hear, what are you talking about? I wear ankle socks, it's no big deal. And then she goes, he goes, well, that guy's wearing ankle socks. And that guy's wearing ankle socks. And that guy's wearing ankle socks. And then she looks at me and she goes, they're all old and weird. And I'm like, I'm just sitting here, right here, minding my own. Had a rough day. And again she was like 19. So yeah, I'm old and weird to her, but so what? You still don't say that.

[Brett]

Need to call Katrina after that ballgame yesterday. I know it's pretty brutal, but ironically.

[John]

I left the house feeling good about my sock game. And I've never been punched in the socks before yesterday. After, I'm like, yeah, the socks look alright. I've been, I've been self choice, throw them away. No, the socks. It's not the socks fault. It was the choice of sock. Like today I have the invisible socks.

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[John]

And I'm like, that looks funny. When I left, I'm like, I look funny in these.

[Kevin]

I can't wear them.

[John]

I don't know how to wear socks. But then I'm the one day I look in the mirror and I'm like, the socks don't make me look like a mailman. I look all right, the socks are working. I don't have to think about that.

[Kevin]

And then that's where next time, you know, if you're wait like that time. You're waiting there for your Waymo. And she says that comment, that's where you just drop down and just start doing push ups.

[John]

Look at me. You think I'm old? Watch this. Well, the weird part's kind of kicking in.

[Brett]

You had your dumbbells, man.

[John]

You'd be right on weird. And watch me do some calf raises.

[Brett]

They got wheat germ at the snack bar.

[John]

What you understand ladies, that I can't have regular socks because my ankles are so strong. All I do is eat wheat germ. It's just. It was just so strange. Oh, the one day I felt like socks got socks right today. John, Good job in the Waymo. Looking at them on the way in. Socks are working. I'm bad at socks.

[Dan]

And she said, yeah, but they're all weird and old.

[John]

I'm like, what? So these socks aren't right? So evidently. So I googled it and evidently young people are all crew socks. They're big into like pulling. I think that looks crazy. I don't know. I don't know what socks. I don't know what socks are anymore. And that guy said Rex was right. Rex says, do you ever think it's maybe just you that looks a thousand. No, you're right. 100% that that's it. But I'm not talking about my face. If you just took a picture from the knees down and said it's. It's the socks. They make me look like a mailman or a city, like inspector or something. It's weird. And again, the colors. I don't know when black socks work and what. I don't get it. So I just wear crew socks up.

[Kevin]

Above, you know, like right below the calf, kind of right above. Mine's wearing compression socks.

[John]

Yeah. Look like you gotta hospital.

[Kevin]

Yeah.

[John]

And I. By the way, it's not an age thing. I think everybody who wears those looks crazy. Yeah. I see young people in socks pulled up to their calves. I'm like, just had some sort of procedure. I don't get it. I'm bad.

[Brett]

I'll go back to the tube socks with the stripes.

[John]

I'm thinking maybe that's what I got. And then I realized I've never been good at socks. When I was a kid, I used to pull them up past my knees. Didn't matter what the color was.

[Kevin]

Depends on what we were doing. I mean like baseball, you'd never wear. You'd always wear them up higher.

[John]

Because you're right. Stirrups. Yeah, stirrups were the greatest. Yeah.

[Kevin]

Tennis and golf were always kind of.

[John]

Lower and don't know. Well, that's activity socks. You don't care about how you look in that. You know, you're out and about in shorts and stuff. I look around like I don't know how my socks work. I don't know. I haven't been. I haven't good at it in a long time. He said, did you call the girl who said the thing about your socks, a face like you should have? The girl who said you were ugly? No, I just think those things. I wish I had the courage to go, hey, face, I can hear you. By the way, you're not hot enough to talk about other people's socks. You get your own work to do. And she was trying to be quiet, but I think she just didn't realize it. She was louder than she thought and she had every right to feel that way.

[Brett]

How'd she look? Yeah, she got room to talk.

[John]

Her big problem in life, and I can tell you just from experience, her big problem in life is that she's probably 20 and never developed. So she's just mad. She's going to have two of those weird implants. She'll get a guy to like her and put those weird implants that look like two baseballs stuffed under chicken skin. Because she doesn't. She had no boobs at all. And I'm like, eh. And that's what guys think. Whenever you hear something like that. That's a chick I wouldn't nail anyway. So I don't care what she thinks of my socks. She's ugly. If she was really good looking, it would have hurt.

[Dan]

But they're all old and weird.

[John]

And the guy next to me, he's like a few feet down because we did the proper distance on the bench. He looks at me like, I heard it. I have a sock issue as well. Kids. If he'd have said that, it would have been like, oh, God, these kids today. Sock rules. But then I started looking around and I noticed that a lot of the guys had sock issues too. So it made me feel better. I'm like, none of these socks look. I just don't think I like socks. I think that's the bigger thing. I don't think any of them ever look right. They all make you look funny. Like Beavis and Butt Head kind of ruined shorts and socks for me because every time I have a pair of shorts on and I have socks I like, I look like Butthead. I'm walking around with his outfit on. I might as well just have the Metallica shirt. But anyway, what are you gonna do? The world is collapsing around us and maybe I will get old enough someday to start just saying. Shut up face. Hey, I heard you. You need a set of. Better start working on some personality so a guy buys you cans because otherwise life's gonna be rough. Have you seen the Internet? Girls like you don't make it. What are you talking about? Nobody wants to see your 12 year old boy chest. Maybe that teacher in Indiana, but not anybody else.

[Dan]

Why is he so mean?

[John]

The man in the weird socks? Yeah, that's you. Put this mask on. Walk the other way. What do you got on the big board of musicals?

[Brett]

Wake up. Song time. And of course it is brought to you by Action Ride Shop with two valley locations now. Brand new one right there on Power Road and McDowell for all your biking needs over there at the Haws Trail. And of course Yogi right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. Action Ride Shop's going to take care of you guys. Go to actionrideshop.com, follow them on all the socials or just go visit. Josh and the boys are going to take care of you.

[John]

By the way, I just got an email and said, hey, my grandma said she was at a game yesterday playing Wordle and she used the word that rhymes with beef and starts with a Q and scored a thousand points. That might have been us. Oh, congratulations. We helped her with a new word. So John, next time any old people tell you that, you know they've got a problem with what you're saying, just pull out your AARP card and tell them it's okay. We're all friends here. That's true. I could have broke out. It's in my. Right here. My membership card. Brett, it's good stuff. Broke down $40 a month on my phone bill.

[Brett]

Sign up for that.

[Kevin]

Worth it.

[John]

Just for living a certain amount of time. That's phenomenal. I don't know why old people are so mad all the time. You get these kind of deals.

[Brett]

All right on the list. Ugly Kid Joe. I hate everything about you. For the old people, angel of Death. For the old people. From Slayer, Sod Kill Yourself for the old people.

[John]

All these apply Velvet Revolver, Lamb of.

[Brett]

God, Corn, Anthrax, Indians for the nhra Going on this weekend out there, Firebird, Bloodhound Gang, Hate Breed Raw, acdc, kmfdm, Van Halen and Slip. Cannot.

[John]

I do like Kill Yourself by Sod for the old people. I also like angel of Death. We don't do a Lot of slayer, angel of death. Okay, I think we'll throw that in there for those elderly people today. Hopefully they meet the angel of death. Right? Get off our planet. So it's a little more fun. Am I. Am I rooting for it to hurt a little? I don't want it to be one of those peaceful just in your sleep moments. I want his last words to be the F word because it bothered him so much in the first place. That's a good angel of death. Swoop down on these old folks, make them disappear, and hopefully it's a wordle that she's halfway through when she drops and they find her phone because, oh, she was almost spelled out Susquet Centennial. She was gonna. She's gonna be the all time champion. It's too bad she. She died doing what she loved, but she never got to finish. What's all this wheat germ doing in the fridge? This guy's clearly not eating wheat germ. Do they even sell wheat germ anymore the way they used to in that jar? Oh, my dad.

[Kevin]

I don't know.

[John]

My dad's other thing, when he started going through the I'm gonna be huge. He made it so no one could open anything in the house. I watch him shut jars. Grimacing. There we go. And he put it back. And after a while, you realize he doesn't want any of us to eat. If he liked it, he would jar it up to the point where you couldn't get in there. And my mom would.

[Kevin]

Probably worked on his arm.

[John]

I think it might have had something to do with it. It was like. And he had that squeezy, that plastic squeezy thing with the ring. And he'd squeeze that and his wrist and his hand strength was so strong. It was all just to shut jars to keep us out of food. You got cereal in the fridge? I'm like, what? There's a box in there. I saw it. I'm like, okay, I want some of these pickles. Well, if you can't open the jar, you can't have pickles.

[Brett]

Eat the Captain Crunch.

[John]

And we'd. My mom bought all those rubber. Like there were those little circles that go over to help you get the lids off. It would take three of us. He was. I'm surprised the jars didn't blow up in his hands. Everything was just ridiculously tight. And it was so he could. Wouldn't my mom be like, I gotta. I can't get into the ketchup. Dan, let me get that. And he'd struggle a little. He'd over tighten it himself. There you go.

[Brett]

Gotta keep it fresh.

[John]

My mom bought one of those vice things. Was metal and it had a little thing on the side you can make it big around. And then you tighten it up around the jar top. And it had a.

[Kevin]

Like getting off the oil filter.

[John]

Yeah, that's exactly what it was. And she bought it for. For our food in the fridge. And my dad saw it. What's this? So I can't open any of the jars. Ah, he could break glass. In hindsight, he didn't want us to eat. All that food was just his. Anything that was easy to open was like up too high. And all the jars were tightened up to the point where you couldn't. Nobody ate. That's no wonder I was the three pounds.

[Kevin]

That's how I built my strength. My dad would try to do the same thing. And I just kept getting strong.

[John]

It worked on this where my hand strength got pretty good there. Like, how'd you get those pickles? Well, just open the jar with your hands. Then I see him with some super glue. Are you gluing those jars shut? Nope. Jackass. Hey, it's not weird.

[Kevin]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[John]

I've heard enough of this.