03-24-25 - John Won Argument w/A Lawyer Over WNBA - RaRa Room Worker Had Rando On Rover Walk Her Dogs - Calling For End Of Libraries After 100yr Book Returned - Woman Says Lottery Win Ruined Her Life

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Comprehensive Summary of March 24, 2025 Episode

Hosted by John Holmberg with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo

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1. Winning an Argument Over the WNBA

Timestamp: [03:35] – [09:50]

In this segment, Katie delves into her recent debate with a feminist lawyer about the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) versus men’s college basketball. The discussion highlights Katie's critical stance on both leagues:

• Katie argues that the WNBA is a subpar product, stating, "It's not a great product. It isn't. If it was, we'd watch all year" ([12:31]).

• John Holmberg adds to the conversation by touching on the financial aspects, saying, "They could be paying just like the NFL, the big schools, they could be giving 20, $30 million deals to some players" ([09:29]).

• Katie further criticizes the collegiate system, describing it as "farm league basketball" and labeling college sports as "slave labor," emphasizing the lack of financial rewards for players compared to the massive revenue generated by institutions and coaches ([11:06] – [09:41]).

The dialogue underscores the tension between entertainment value and the ethical implications of financial practices within collegiate and professional sports.

2. RaRa Room Worker and Rover Dog Walker Incident

Timestamp: [14:00] – [19:12]

Katie recounts an unsettling experience involving a worker at RaRa Room who enlisted a random person from Rover to walk her dogs:

• She describes the encounter: “Her dog's been in a kennel for six hours. I can't live knowing that. ... And how does he get in your house? ... Congratulations, enjoy your rapes” ([14:00] – [15:20]).

• Katie expresses concern over safety and security when using dog-walking services, highlighting the risks of sharing house codes with strangers: “No self-respecting man is on Rover at 11 o'clock waiting to walk your dog” ([17:38] – [19:12]).

• The conversation turns to the broader implications of such services, with Katie asserting the necessity of trustworthy arrangements and questioning the reliability of online dog-walking platforms.

This segment emphasizes the potential dangers associated with gig economy services and the importance of safeguarding personal information.

3. Criticism of Modern Libraries and Overdue Books

Timestamp: [19:12] – [24:56]

Katie launches into a passionate critique of contemporary libraries, sparked by an incident involving a book overdue by a century:

• She references a real case: “A 1931 edition of Horace Kephart's book ... checked out in 1960” ([20:19] – [21:12]).

• Katie argues for the irrelevance of libraries in the digital age, likening them to relics that no longer serve their intended purpose: “There’s no interest left at all in the news stories about library books that haven't been returned for like 100 years” ([19:12] – [24:56]).

• She draws parallels to the demise of Blockbuster, suggesting that just as video rental stores became obsolete, so too should libraries: “It makes it seem like they're doing some ... Susan Parker, librarian ... You should just give that away” ([21:37] – [24:56]).

• The discussion includes a satirical take on library patrons, with Katie mocking the idea that libraries are merely places for the marginalized to engage in less savory activities: “I always thought it was just a place for homeless guys to masturbate on the Internet” ([21:23] – [24:56]).

Katie’s fervent dismissal of libraries underscores a broader debate about the role of public institutions in an increasingly digital and privatized information landscape.

4. The Misconception of Lottery Wins Ruining Lives

Timestamp: [24:56] – [35:50]

Katie critiques media narratives that portray lottery wins as life-ruining events, juxtaposing them with personal anecdotes:

• She discusses various news stories where individuals claim a lottery win has negatively impacted their lives, countering with her own experiences: “I wrecked my day after that. I spent it all on alcohol and hookers. It ruined my week” ([26:11] – [27:37]).

• Katie contrasts these stories with instances of radio giveaways, highlighting the lack of follow-up or regret from winners: “Radio contest wrecked my Life. I won 10 grand ... What? Well, I spent all that dumb money. Now I'm back to zero again” ([26:27] – [27:37]).

• She also touches on the portrayal of lottery winners in media shows like "Lottery Dream Home," mocking the unrealistic and often superficial outcomes presented: “They show like Liberace's house ... We want a buffalo ranch” ([30:26] – [35:50]).

• The conversation extends to the financial mismanagement associated with sudden wealth, with Katie pointing out the impractical spending habits and lack of financial planning that can lead to ruin: “I gave this guy a dollar. He gave me a ticket with a bunch of silver poison on it. I scratched that off and I left with 500 ... I went down and I bought beanie beans” ([26:27] – [27:37]).

By debunking the trope that lottery wins inherently lead to downfall, Katie encourages a more nuanced understanding of wealth acquisition and management.

5. Satirical Take on a West African Cuisine Restaurant

Timestamp: [35:50] – [48:43]

In a humorous and exaggerated segment, the hosts mock a fictional West African restaurant accused of unsanitary practices:

• Katie invents a scenario where a restaurant fails health inspections due to bizarre violations like lacking a "bodily fluid cleanup kit": “They didn't have a container for bodily fluid cleaners ... ’Bodily fluids are like Brady said, Pus, snot, spit, wee goop” ([40:05] – [48:43]).

• The co-hosts engage in a comedic dialogue, pretending to be restaurant staff who nonchalantly admit to unhygienic practices: “We like to ejaculate on ourselves and not clean it right before we make the West African food” ([42:32] – [43:06]).

• The segment serves as a satirical critique of health standards in restaurants, using hyperbole to highlight the importance of cleanliness and hygiene in food establishments.

While intended for humor, this segment underscores the critical nature of public health regulations in the culinary industry.

6. Promotional and Musical Segments

Timestamp: [36:42] – [44:54]

Throughout the episode, brief promotional segments and discussions about music intersperse the main topics:

• Miles advertises Action Ride Shop, highlighting their services and locations: “Brand new one over on power Road and McDowell ... actionrideshop.com” ([36:42] – [37:25]).

• The hosts occasionally reference popular culture, parodying lottery shows and discussing fictional characters associated with winning big: “David from HGTV ... Hunter Thompson's yurt” ([32:07] – [35:50]).

• Musical interludes and shout-outs to various bands and genres provide a lively backdrop to the conversations, adding to the show's dynamic atmosphere.

These segments balance the heavy discussions with lighter, engaging content, maintaining listener interest and providing necessary breaks between intense topics.

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Notable Quotes

• Katie: “Libraries, please. You're on your last legs.” ([21:55])

• Katie: “Radio contest wrecked my Life. I won 10 grand ... What? Well, I spent all that dumb money. Now I'm back to zero again.” ([26:27] – [27:37])

• John Holmberg: “They could be paying just like the NFL, the big schools, they could be giving 20, $30 million deals to some players.” ([09:29])

• Katie: “It’s a long story. So, yeah. So mom had her birthday yesterday and it always puts me in that mindset of Sprint. Like when my mom's birthday rolled around, always. Growing up, I knew we're a day or two away from baseball for real.” ([01:07])

Concluding Insights

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness encapsulates a blend of sharp social critique, personal anecdotes, and satirical humor. Key themes revolve around the commercialization and ethical concerns of sports leagues, the precariousness of gig economy services, the diminishing role of public institutions like libraries, and the unrealistic portrayal of financial windfalls in media. The hosts employ a lively and often irreverent tone to engage listeners, prompting reflection on contemporary societal issues through entertaining discourse.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Miles]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Katie]

Thank you. Miles to nowhere. Katie and the Hobbs getting her done for another day. As we get to the the Quarter poll coming up here for 2025 as we roll into April. Shortly after yesterday was my mom's birthday. So happy birthday to Marcy. Family dinner, huh? No, no, no, no. She had a family dinner without me.

[Miles]

Oh, okay. All right.

[Katie]

Took that true sister of mine and they went somewhere. I'll take mom out later, but we're gonna have some. There was some sort of agreement arrangement, but that was already in place. I like. I'll wait it out. Yeah. So mom's mom's had her birthday yesterday. It was great. So we'll take mom out. Letters. Happy birthday, Marcy. I say she is a beloved mother of one wonderful child and my sister. Oh, I can't imagine watching it eat. Never mind. It's a long story. So. Yeah. So mom had her birthday yesterday and it always puts me in that mindset of Sprint. Like when my mom's birthday rolled around, always. Growing up, I knew we're a day or two away from baseball for real. And I still have that, like, you know, yesterday and over the weekend, I'm like, oh, boy, this is good excitement of opening day. Yeah, Very good. And I have to thank also because I drove all the way out to Josh's Action Ride shop up there on Power and McDowell. You did? I did. Because he had my bike. And when I'm out there, it's a trap. I realized this. This is a trap. So I text or I told Josh, I'll be out there, gonna pick up my bike and say, you know, do the thing, get my bike, load it up and get a text from Doug Hopkins.

[Doug Hopkins]

What are you doing?

[Katie]

I'm like, how did you Know, where are you? Like, I'm on Power and McDowell. That's it. We're drinking. And I'm like, oh, no. Saturday.

[Miles]

Got an airtag in your Jeep or something, man?

[John]

Yeah, he does. He's got that phone.

[Katie]

Yep. We ended up at Lucky Lou's, watching some basketball over the weekend, which is another thing that's got. You got. This is a great time. March Madness. The weather's amazing, and then you got. All the bars are packed full in the daytime, and it's fun. I don't care who's winning, by the way. You can sit and slave all day over your bracket. I had AI do mine. I'm right in the hunt, baby. I got like, AI Smart. AI looks at the reason that they're one or two seeds is more than likely you're gonna end up. So right now I have. I have one spot that misses the next round. Everything else is green. So I'm going into the Final Four that all those things that these pellets are gut. I have a gut that you see Santa Barbara is going to roll. No, no. But you don't know anything about this. And then when you get it and you hit it, you think you've done something right. You don't even know any of the players. Be smart, play the odds in your favor and start going. One I've missed has kept me from being at the top spot.

[John]

Usually it's one out of the four top seeds.

[Katie]

There'll be one surprise, but right now it's looking like it's going to be three ones and a three there. No upsets mattered going into that. You just get the Final Four, right? So it's pretty great being kind of. And I don't even know who I picked. I know I've got Auburn winning it all, but I just look for the green check marks on the computer. It's great. It's the best. It's the best March Madness has ever been. So I don't know if you guys remember last week when I told you about the lawyer feminist and her farting husband that I met? They had their 16th wedding anniversary Friday night, and I saw them again and we started to chat. And I think I'm a lawyer now because we had a WNBA conversation Wednesday last week where I feel like I did pretty well defending myself. And she actually admitted at the end, she goes, you know what? You've redeemed yourself. I always thought it was just an argument to hate women. And I'm like, no, not at all. That's the problem. I Have with the league. You can't say anything bad about it. Makes people think so. Then made fun of her husband, who farts all the time, named Scott, and her name is Chelsea. And so ran into him again on Friday. Wonderful. Had her 16th anniversary. They brought friends over. They've all listened to the whole podcast. Last week when I was talking about Scott's what he called a medical issue, but doesn't have a name, which just means he just farts on her.

[John]

That's what it's called.

[Katie]

So she comes up to me Saturday and says, 16 years of being farted on tonight. And I'm like, oh, it's the 16th anniversary. The first time the guy gassed out on you. And she goes, no, no, we got married. I'm like, oh, so it's been longer than 16 years? You just locked it down 16 years ago to guarantee farting as much as possible in your life. Start laughing. Introduced me to her feminist friend. This is another friend of mine. She's a feminist as well. And I said, oh, great. Now two yapping broads and the feminists laugh. So I think, you know what? The key to making feminists less aoc and more fun is just hit them headlong with some misogyny. They seem to love it.

[Miles]

So I live my life.

[Katie]

That's how I live my own. Great. I got two yapping broads mad at me. You're such a dick. I'm like, yeah, well, you can say it, and I can't. But we had another great conversation about. She started in with the WNBA again, and she goes, I was thinking about something, and she had been talking that she was in court all day, and she'd been adjudicating and doing lawyer stuff, and her husband's standing right there. And I like him a lot.

[John]

Charging hours.

[Katie]

I like this dude. Scott is a good. They're very sweet people. I actually really like them both. But he said, we're talking about something. She said, I was thinking about something. She goes, your argument towards it being the WNBA is just a bad product? And she goes, what about men's college basketball? What do you think of that? And I'm like, I love the gambling aspect of it. And then so she starts to kind of form this argument against, like, well, what's the difference? But I think the college basketball product is absolute garbage. And I don't want to watch people. People's kids do anything for free. I don't want to watch high school basketball. It's a bunch of people's kids. I don't go to like, you know, little league basketball. Why would I do that? That's college is the accelerated version of club ball. And I'm like, it's neat. If you've got a team, fine. But I'm like, the product is garbage. It's a lot of slopping and flopping and messing around. And then she looked at me and she goes, I didn't expect you to say that. Like, what? She goes, you just took the wind out of my sails. And I'm like, I rest my case. Do I get a degree for this? I've argued a lawyer down twice.

[John]

It'll be interesting. I think it's next year on the college basketball.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[John]

I level they'll. They'll get into the center of the profit sharing of the tv.

[Katie]

Oh, sure.

[John]

Oh, look, it's saying, you know, like football players, like in the bigger schools, you make the roster. You're making 200,000.

[Katie]

Yeah, well, I don't think basketball. The big ones do.

[John]

They're saying like 400.

[Katie]

Well, it depends. It depends.

[John]

There's not as many guys on.

[Katie]

Right. But I don't think everybody's going to make 400 grand.

[John]

No.

[Katie]

Yeah, they're not going to pay them that way. But it'll be a thing where big schools up to guys can give from the school beyond the nil stuff they can, and they're just going to pay up front. It's crazy. And I'm fine with that. Just call it what it is. It's farm league basketball. I'm cool with it. Just call it what it is. Stop pretending college is some sanctimonious, unbelievable. You know, they do it for the love of the game. No, they don't. They do it for the money. And they've been using slave labor for years, making a killing. I've been to Ohio State. I watched the Michigan, Ohio State game firsthand. And once you remove yourself from the passion and emotion of being a fan of either team, you look around and go, this is a crime.

[John]

Holy revenue.

[Katie]

The money that's being spent across the city, you could. I was. That one blew me away more than anything I've ever been around. Free labor. And I go into any drugstore, the bank, everybody selling or wearing sold Ohio State gear. And it's the same in Ann Arbor. Both of those schools have sold a shirt to everyone that's at that game, plus everyone in that city. You're looking at a million. Just one. If you just did one. A million t shirts at 30 bucks a pop covers the nut. Now we got Ticket sales, beers, food. I can't imagine the money, the TV revenue. And these guys were doing it and saying, you know, we can't pay these players. It would ruin the. The authenticity of the game. Like, you guys are thieves. So. Yeah. So the fact that the players are starting to squeak out some cash to me is. It's almost insulting. We'll give you $200,000. Only the best players will get. It's like, are you kidding me? You guys could be paying just like the NFL, the big schools, they could be giving 20, $30 million deals to some players, and they will eventually, when they turn it into an actual business.

[John]

But that tournament, the reason why, on the basketball side, yeah, it's just. It's a one and done. And so that whole. The weekend and the, you know, you're seeing 64 teams or 68, whatever you're seeing.

[Katie]

CBS makes kind of a billion dollars every March for two weeks of work.

[John]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And they're trying to say it's all for the education of the kids.

[John]

And once it gets down to the Final Four, it's kind of strung out a little bit because they gotta.

[Katie]

I'd venture to guess if every one of those kids graduated from communications or basket weaving or whatever their farce degree is, you're not even going to get $6 billion worth of revenue out of every. Every class, out of everyone who plays in a tournament. You're not going to see eventually $6 billion come to the market through them. It's not going to happen. Very rarely to get a Matt Ishby, a pop out of the. The Final Four, but you'll get $6 billion. It's a. It's a ridiculous amount of money for this, and I love that. I think that's great. But when they keep trying to make it about, you know, the college, and it's like, oh, my God, does nobody see this? It's just a pile of horse crap, you know, disguised as, you know, some beautiful thing where they're giving kids a chance that otherwise wouldn't. Are you kidding me? Cooper flag just turned 18 in December. He should be in high school. He wasn't going to have a problem without college going right into the NBA. If it didn't exist, they'd take him right now. But he needs an education. Like, stop it. Stop it. Why does he need an education but other people have to pay for it? That's the bigger thing.

[John]

Because it's the revenue.

[Katie]

If it's all about the education, shouldn't he just give that away? No, no, no.

[Doug Hopkins]

No, no.

[Katie]

Only the kids who need the education get free education. If they play ball for us. The ones who need it the least that already have a massive skill get free everything. It's weird. The kids who don't, you know, they have to go through grants and all this and beg Joe Biden for payments and get their money back. It's slave labor and it always has. This guy says the same thing. 110 John. I've said for years college is slave labor. Kids make nothing. Coaches make millions. The school is reliant on it. It's crazy. But it is fun, man. And the gambling, I can't even imagine what gambling, what money gets spun around for that even in just like office pools and things. Like it's a massive.

[John]

If TV's doing six bill.

[Katie]

If it's two and a half weeks of just. I mean that's nothing. Yeah, it's. It's beyond super bowl numbers. It's crazy. So I'm all for it. That's capitalism. Tip to cap Home birds, morning sickness. Disgusting.

[Brett]

They say things that are horrible radiate upd.

[Katie]

Home birds, morning sickness. Yeah. She argued with me about like what about that? It's just. It's not a great product. It isn't. If it was, we'd watch all year.

[John]

We don't you hear a lot of people. I did over the weekend. It's like, gosh, get rid of the three point line.

[Katie]

It's ruining.

[Miles]

That's all they do now.

[Katie]

It's ruining the game pro end. Otherwise it's just wrecked it. But bottom line, again, it's kind of like tamales. At a certain time of year we all pay attention to it, but otherwise we don't want much to do. With college basketball. There's not a whole lot of excitement going on. Somehow or another Grand Canyon figured it out because they'll fill that arena by saying you get extra credit for going to the games. So the students all load up. Smart.

[Miles]

Is that true?

[Katie]

Yeah. They get a little extra credit. No kidding.

[John]

At Kirby School as well. If you attend.

[Katie]

If you attend some of the games.

[Miles]

I've been at every game in high school. Are you kidding me?

[Katie]

Oh yeah. The Christian schools figured that out. But they basically say if you don't go to the game, God thinks you're a dick. And then they show up to stuff and they give them a little extra credit. It works out nicely. But I kind of giggle at the whole thing. But yeah. So I won another argument with a lawyer and I felt great about it. And then now you need to give.

[John]

Her an invoice for a couple hundred bucks charge.

[Katie]

Yeah, I should for my time. A couple hours in. That's true.

[John]

Because she's coming to you.

[Katie]

Great point. She's arguing to me. I was just minding my own. You're right. I'm billing her.

[John]

Clocks running.

[Katie]

I'm billing her. If I see her again tonight, I'm billing her. Hey, look, you keep wanting to fight me in the courtroom and I keep winning these things. I think you owe me some fees. I'll call Kevin Rowe today and see what that should run a guy. I think that's pretty good stuff.

[John]

Get that letterhead.

[Katie]

Oh, then Friday night I'm chatting with some of the staff there at the Rah Rah room and a couple weeks ago one of the girls you know, wanted to go home to see her dog. It had been in a kennel and I overheard it and I'm like, I can't hear this. So I told the manager, bryce, I'm like, you need to cut this one. She's got to go home. Her dog's been in a kennel for six hours. I can't live knowing that. I said, I'll drive out there, take care of your dog for you. She lives too far away. It's not going to happen. So the dog's going to stay in the kennel. Again, a little bit of a hypocrite. If it's too far away, the dog will be fine. If it was pretty close, I'd have done it. So I said to her on Friday, I said, how's the dog? She goes, I'm running late again tonight. He's in the kennel. And she goes, but I've got, I got a plan. And this was probably 10:30, maybe 11:00. She goes, I just found a guy online that is willing to walk him. And I'm like a rando. She's like 45 year old guy and I'm like, and how does he get in your house? Well, I just give him the code. I'm like, congratulations, enjoy your rapes. This is the only thing that's going to happen. Wow. I'm like, wait a second. My room. And her roommate works there too. The two of them work together. And I'm like, well this is a. No self respecting man is on Rover at 11 o'clock waiting to walk your dog. He wants to. He's gonna rape you. He just wants codes.

[Miles]

She must be a smoke show.

[Marty]

One one, two seven.

[Miles]

This one.

[Katie]

Well, everybody works there is good looking, but it's just this. All right, well. And that I had to be the voice of reason. I'm like, you do realize what you're doing?

[John]

What?

[Katie]

He's just.

[Marty]

He's on Rover. I've used him before.

[Katie]

Not at 11, you don't.

[Marty]

I need a late night dog walker slash rapist. Here's my house coats.

[Katie]

And I just watched her eyes get big. Like, oh, my God. You might be right. You think that guy's not in there going through, you know, young blondes underwear drawer?

[John]

He is.

[Katie]

There's no question. He's been sitting by the phone at 11 waiting to walk dogs. Yeah, walk the dog. You don't say. I think Rover's a great service. It closes at 9. No more overnight dog walking. Unless you prearrange that before. And certainly I want to shake the hands of the person walking my dog. I'm not just gonna get on there and go, who's out there? Let's spin this wheel. Oh, I gave her so much crap.

[John]

I found him on Creeper.

[Marty]

There's this thing called rapey or urape. And I just give him my codes. He goes in, he takes my dog for a walk and waits for me.

[Katie]

In the bushes like, you can't do this. And then I started. Marty and I were there. I'm like, what's your. What's your address? And then Marty's like, my daughter will do it. Like, see, now you know the guy and you can.

[Marty]

Yeah, well, there's pictures of him on the website.

[Katie]

Like, yeah, there's pictures of plenty of predators on every site. And that's easy.

[Miles]

Jeffrey Dahmer had pictures, you know, I.

[Katie]

Mean, hey, John Wayne Gacy put up children's party flyers. He had pictures of him everywhere. Oh, I get nervous for the youth. I get nervous for the youth. Can't be done. And they're laughing and I'm like, I'm not. This isn't funny. You're gonna. There's a. There's a dude with a leash in a bush with codes that knows codes don't change codes.

[Marty]

I'm fine.

[Doug Hopkins]

Like, all right.

[Katie]

And then a roommate comes over to me later and goes, I don't like it either. Like, well, no, because it's. I wouldn't give Brett the code to my house. Well, I'll get it later. Josh wanted to pick up my bike. He goes, just give me the code to the garage. And I'm like, I'll just pop it open from here. Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out. And I love Josh. And I know I can trust him, but he doesn't need to be knowing my codes. What if Josh and I have a falling out? Josh hands out my codes.

[Miles]

I want to know people's codes.

[Katie]

I don't want to know either.

[Miles]

That's no.

[Katie]

And there's another reason why mine's on.

[John]

Just on the front door.

[Katie]

1, 2, 3, 4. Yeah, if you can spell new friend, that's Brady's code. Password, password and new friend. Those are the things that get him into everything.

[Marty]

Hey look, Ronnie, we've got a new friend in our bank account and he seems to need the money more than us.

[Katie]

Yeah, I got a lot of bikes in that garage of mine. I can't do that stuff, so that's crazy, but. Yeah. I didn't know that was a service rover. I'm telling you, I love what you guys do. Especially in big city stuff like New York and Chicago when people are running around, their dogs are in apartments all day. Or you know, in this situation where people are working all day and they get home a little late and you know. But set that up. You're closed at 9, you can't have some. And I even said no self respecting 45 year old guy is making ends meet by walking dogs randomly. Anybody says to you after 10:00 at night, well this is what my grandpa would say. Nothing good happens to after 10. What's your, what's your house code So I can pop in there after 10 o'clock. You just don't hand that out anymore to anyone, ever. You do a little silk Sonic. Stupid. He's just gonna be sitting in there with your panties on his head.

[Bryce]

Dog.

[Katie]

And I went around the block four times. I'm staying the night. And then. And there's the other thing. Keith says this. And this is what I brought up. The dog now knows him. So you introduce your.

[John]

They're friends.

[Katie]

Yeah, they're true. You just made the rapist friends with your last line of defense. I'm gonna go buy four schlags and bring them to those girls tonight when I go into that room here, ladies, I bought you some locks. Now go get these on there, change your coats back and stop letting that rapist in there at 11 o'clock. You got nothing to do on a Friday. Wanna walk my dogs? Just walking around the neighborhood. Whose are those? I don't know. What's his name? I don't know. I got him out of that young girl's house over there. Oh my Lord, make it stop. The world's gone crazy. Here's another thing I want stopped. Enough news. I'm going to talk to Troy Hayden. I'm going to the game with him tonight. I'm going to Talk to Channel 12's Troy Hayden today. I have seen and know that there is no interest left at all in the news stories about library books that haven't been returned for like 100 years. Nobody cares. Another one. Oh, for Christ's sake, enough already.

[John]

And they're not going to hold them to the fine.

[Katie]

Oh, the fine. It's like a nickel. Even after 100 years, they bought the new book. If nobody missed the book for 80 years, it wasn't that good of a book. You could have just. You know what I think libraries did. They go. Nobody brought back that dumb book. And they'd go to the other library and check it out and put it in theirs and no one would know any different. A University of British Columbia graduate mailed a package and they're bringing them back. It makes it seem like they're doing some. Susan Parker, librarian at the university, said a package arrived in January and she opened it to discover a 1931 edition of Horace Kephart's book Camping and Woodcraft Handbook for Vacation Campers and for Travelers in the Wilderness. You should just give that away. The book had been checked out in 1960 by a student named Robert Murray. I've never received a book this old before.

[Marty]

It's so long overdue.

[Katie]

Enough libraries. You're on your last legs. You think radio's in trouble. Libraries, please.

[John]

So this is how we whittle a wolf.

[Katie]

I didn't know libraries even cared about books anymore. I always thought it was just a place for homeless guys to masturbate on the Internet. I was concerned that I just have you. When's the last time you were in a library? It's been ages.

[Miles]

30 years ago, maybe.

[Katie]

At least. There's no reason.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And I now I just picture it as like some sort of a. Like a sperm palace. Like they just have plastic around every computer because you can go in there if you don't have the Internet and use a computer. So it's for poor people to use pornhub. And then they have codes a few.

[John]

Times with Kirby, you know, to like a probably nine.

[Katie]

Big public library.

[John]

Yeah, the Greenfield.

[Katie]

What for?

[John]

Got the Internet, a couple of children's books.

[Katie]

I got them on the Internet.

[Miles]

They got Amazon. Just buy it. Kindle or even have the real one sent to you.

[Katie]

Yeah. So. And you. And you haven't gone back because you're like, this is a waste of time.

[John]

Yeah, maybe. And then one. Time to vote.

[Katie]

Oh, they stand. You said library.

[John]

Library, yeah.

[Miles]

The Dobson ranch one. A couple months ago or a couple years.

[Katie]

Like everything's still cooking.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Just remodeled a big old facelift. And I'm like, for who?

[Katie]

Doge. Those things.

[John]

Have most of them.

[Katie]

Doge. All the libraries. That's a new thing. Or just when all those homeless guys are in there masturbating, lock it down and keep them in there. Library. You got to be the cheapest person on the planet.

[John]

Ever been to the big copper building one downtown?

[Katie]

Downtown, yeah. Because it's just loaded with dudes jerking off.

[John]

I gotta get down there.

[Katie]

You should. You should give it a try. The guy that tried to attack me. But enough of that. It's not a fun story. It's not a cute story. It's like the library book was over 70 years. Nobody cared for 70 years. And I'm supposed to now. We didn't even know it was missing.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's the only way to get a news. That and homeless people jerking off in there. Otherwise, nobody remembers.

[Katie]

Cover. The other thing that libraries do, which is just clean up homeless sperms. Another man slips and falls in the library. Clean up homeless sperms. Paralyzed, by the way, a book was over. I probably have a couple library books I didn't return somewhere in a box in my house. If they didn't come after you, it's not a thing. But there it was. And it seems like it's every couple days another one. Somebody had it in their house for over 80 years. Library wasn't then. The library's a waste of time. They didn't even look for it. It's like if Blockbuster came back and said, you still have one of them Kevin Costner movies that you checked out a long time ago. You give it back to where the Blockbuster was and at some Mexican restaurant. Thanks.

[Doug Hopkins]

Whoa.

[Katie]

We'll put it on the nose. No Way Out. A guy returned no Way out to where we used to be. Blockbuster, like 30 years ago. Nobody wants that. It's dumb. No Way Out's a good movie. Internet stream it.

[Miles]

Bull Durham.

[Katie]

What do you give me this for El Toro Durham. No, no, I'm returning it. You used to be a Blockbuster, and I just found this moving and I want attention. Oh, I see. Will you call the news, Javier, Just so you can. We'll stand on the news together and you can show that I returned it.

[Miles]

Eolene would be interviewing you after that.

[Katie]

Yeah, right. Why did you bother Javier with Bull Durham. He does not care. Well, I had it since 1998. I thought it would be funny. Morning sickness. Disgusting.

[Brett]

They say things that are horrible.

[Doug Hopkins]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John]

It gives something. I mean if it was a. Came in with a jar and it had, you know, parchment on there and they rolled out. I had this at my house for a thousand years.

[Katie]

That'd be a story. Sure. If you have a thousand year old parchment and you bring it back to the Mexican restaurant where the cave once stood. You want to impress me? Bring your library book back and pay the fine. Break it in. What do I open?

[Miles]

That never happens.

[Katie]

Nope. They're always. They want the news to come out and go, that's crazy. So stupid. Yeah, that and the other thing I saw in the news where they had another show on some dumb channel where they had some girl who won the lottery and then she wanted to be a cautionary tale of how it ruined her life and give me that chance. It's not. They always do that for people. It's a life ruining event. She won like $5 million. It's a curse. Like you're the curse, dummy. You did this. They give you all that money and then they expect you to be responsible. And I wasn't stupid.

[Doug Hopkins]

Lottery.

[Katie]

It's like, why is that the lottery's fault? Can't believe the lottery gave me all that money when I played their and then didn't hold my hand through how not to spend it all in the first couple of weeks. And it all starts the same with some big voice guy going, so they.

[John]

Told you to put all the cash in the trunk of the car.

[Katie]

I bought Chanel and Dior and I was just going crazy. You know, it doesn't last forever. She bought, I think she bought like 150 purses. Her joke was, I have all this money, I got to put it somewhere. So she bought a ton of like five $6,000 purses. And I'm like, oh, that's dumb. And then so she gets to a point where she realized she doesn't have much, sells them back half, not doing the same price. And then she was a became a fat fashion merchandiser. I don't know if she's selling a bunch of garbage that she's buying. She's not getting any money for it, so she's buying stuff for more. Didn't care that it was more than what she was selling it for. And the next thing you know, she's down to nothing. And then she calls the news and says the lottery Ruined my life. No, it didn't. No one who gives you $5 million has ruined your life. That's just. I don't care how it. A drug dealer gives you $500 and I'll go, drug dealers ruined my life. You're like, thank you, I'll do my best. Five years after you say, boy, did I ruin my life. That guy gave me $5 million and.

[John]

I went down and I bought beanie beans.

[Katie]

I bought loads of dumb stuff. And I, you know, I just the swizzle in and I did terribly stupid things and now I'm broke. Stupid lottery. She says now she's never going to do that again. Enough for me as a model, of course, and a fashion merchandiser. Now I said, I'll just make just enough to make ends meet and follow my passions for the rest of my life. I've never once been behind a guy who scratched a scratcher and won 500 bucks and went, ah, crap, there goes my weekend. It's pretty awesome. To win money for free or for a buck. I gave this guy a dollar. He gave me a ticket with a bunch of silver poison on it. I scratched that off and I left with 500. What a scam. I wrecked my day after that. I spent it all on alcohol and hookers. It ruined my week. You know what never happens either? You never have that happen when radio station gives away a bunch of money. We gave away $10,000 together. You never called back and went, thanks a lot, dicks. What? Well, I spent all that dumb money. Now I'm back to zero again. Way to go, radio. Radio contest wrecked my Life. I won 10 grand. I went out and I bought a car I can't afford. Stupid radio people are dumb. The one guy won like $12 million and within a year gone. Oh, he gave it to friends. All his friends were doing great. By the way, lottery didn't ruin their life. He had two friends that are still like, we're good, we're helping them out. But you know, I can't give it all back. That's dumb. I gave to a couple co workers and a family member. Where's your teeth? Damn lottery. A lottery made my teeth fall out.

[John]

Went on with David, bought my dream home.

[Katie]

Oh, that dude. Those people never seem to have a problem. The I wanted your whim. Well, David. And God damn, I've never met a more homosexual man than I'm looking at right now.

[John]

I kind of like him.

[Katie]

On the lottery Dream home super show. I won $5 million.

[Doug Hopkins]

Oh my God, we're Gonna have so much fun shopping.

[Katie]

I had a feeling you were going to say that eventually.

[Doug Hopkins]

Do you want a Buffalo ranch?

[Katie]

Of course I want a buffalo ranch.

[Doug Hopkins]

Let's go get it.

[John]

You're the same as like every now and then. If I check that out, it's like they won a million dollar scratcher. Skip.

[Katie]

Yeah. Oh, I don't watch them unless they win a lot of money.

[John]

We want to spend 300,000.

[Katie]

One of the saddest ones is that David the gay. The tattooed gay.

[Doug Hopkins]

We drove around Savannah all day looking.

[Katie]

For houses for $175,000. I'm like, oh, he does the Lo Doe houses too. And here was the other thing.

[Miles]

I thought it was just big guys.

[Katie]

It's not even lottery anymore. Sometimes it's just settlements.

[John]

Oh, I didn't.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah.

[Doug Hopkins]

Sometimes, like, tell me what you've got.

[Katie]

And they sit at some cafe and this.

[John]

He's always hungry.

[Katie]

He'll be. My aunt died and then turned out she had some tax money coming her way and ended up giving it to me.

[Doug Hopkins]

How much?

[Katie]

135,000, free and clear. Uh huh.

[Doug Hopkins]

What are you looking at?

[Katie]

One bedroom. Something that's got a roof.

[Doug Hopkins]

We're all over it.

[John]

This one's cute.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Doug Hopkins]

Oh my God. I could totally see you having a cup of gruel or whatever it is you eat in the kitchen.

[Katie]

And some grits.

[Doug Hopkins]

Grits and probably ramen in a styrofoam cup.

[Katie]

Are you gonna. Are you gonna take your shirt off or something? Button's getting lower and lower.

[Doug Hopkins]

So hot in this tiny little non air conditioned home in Savannah.

[Katie]

All right, David, by the way, David and I think you might take me up on this. After I buy this house, I'm gonna be looking for ways to pay for the air conditioner. So I'll blow your insanely gay ass for some money on the side.

[Doug Hopkins]

I'm gonna spend a lot of time at Savannah.

[Katie]

That doesn't. I never watch that. If it's. If they want an annuity. I'm like, okay, this one's gonna suck. I do like one where they're seeing people at the lottery office with the big check and David from HGTV and he's got like 20 new tattoos. 12 or $13 million. David's in heaven. I've watched a few of them where I'm like, oh, just stay in the house you're in now. Like some of them, like, what are you doing? One guy bought one for his daughter.

[John]

And the other lady bought a house for her two adult daughters. All three of them still living in.

[Katie]

The house he's gotten. Right.

[David]

So why am I here there, sir?

[Katie]

Gay. Yeah.

[Brett]

I won the lottery for $10 million.

[Doug Hopkins]

Oh, my God.

[David]

Hold on while I pick up my jaw.

[Doug Hopkins]

That's amazing.

[Brett]

It's a lot.

[David]

Oh, my gosh. What are we looking for?

[Brett]

We're looking for a house for you and your daughter. For me? My daughter?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I'd like to have a.

[Katie]

That daughter seemed like an accident.

[Brett]

It gets hot here in the summertime.

[David]

It's hot here now, so, you know.

[Katie]

But David's wearing nothing.

[Brett]

There'll be a. A miss in the picture and, you know, so grow into maybe a. 5, 4, 5, 4, 3.

[Katie]

Did he just say he's looking for a lady? I don't see it.

[John]

Yeah, 10 mil.

[Katie]

No, that was 850,000. Well, it depends on where he's living, too. A lot of times the houses are cheaper. I love when David rolls in in a tank top and a pair of boy shorts.

[Doug Hopkins]

We drove all over Savannah trying to find the house of his dreams.

[Katie]

I just love Savannah. Oh, he's in Visalia. You can get a house there for dirt. It's crazy, but I don't want to see those stories anymore.

[Miles]

I don't care about that.

[Katie]

You just look at these clothes.

[Brett]

Like it. I like the curb appeal.

[David]

Great. Want to hear all about it?

[Brett]

Yes, I do.

[Katie]

All right.

[David]

Lupin lane. It's got five bedrooms and four bathrooms. Plenty of space, over 3200 square feet. And the price is really good. 7 69.

[Katie]

Awesome.

[Doug Hopkins]

Don't you get it? Let's go inside.

[Katie]

It's so hot.

[Doug Hopkins]

This will take up another layer.

[Katie]

Anyway, my dream, my lottery dream home. It'll catch my eye every once in a while. You win 10 million bucks. I'm gonna watch. But you drop down a 10 million dollar win, and you only buy a $769,000 house. I'm out. I've been in a house that's $769,000. They're nice. I want to see a house that's like 10 million bucks.

[Bryce]

Spend it all.

[John]

They show it in the previews, you know, in the.

[Katie]

Oh, in the opener.

[John]

A lot of buffalo ranches.

[Katie]

Tons of buffalo ranches.

[Doug Hopkins]

You scratched a ticket and it's changed your life.

[Katie]

And they show like Liberace's house.

[Doug Hopkins]

And now let's meet Jethro and his daughter trill.

[Katie]

We want 75k in some sort of weird VFW drawing.

[Doug Hopkins]

Okay, what do you want to do?

[Katie]

Just buy a tent or something where.

[Doug Hopkins]

You get you an Amazing tent. Is Trill gonna live with you?

[Katie]

I'm gonna keep Trill around. She's got a lot of medical issues, so sometimes I have to give her CPR in her sleep.

[John]

My lottery yurt.

[Katie]

Ooh, this one's got a zippy door.

[Doug Hopkins]

Zippy doors are hot. They remind me of pants. Wouldn't it be great if you unzipped a tent and a big giant tent dick came out?

[Katie]

I don't know about that. David.

[John]

I'm hungry.

[Doug Hopkins]

I'm starving. Let's go over the most gay cafe this city has and sit in it and embarrass you.

[Katie]

David, why are you in a tank top? It's 4 degrees here.

[Doug Hopkins]

I had to show off my new tats.

[Katie]

It's a great show. I do enjoy it and David seems very nice, but he goes to a lot of hillbilly towns and I'm sure they're not overly excited. The wives are all thrilled to see him and the husbands give him that ass out hug.

[Miles]

I won't touch tips.

[Katie]

Kids gonna get hard as stone hugging a guy like me anyway. And if you're in the business of walking dogs in the middle of the night. Anyone in? I guess Rover will take in his opportunity. And it is just a thing. So, John, you've nailed it. My wife loves that show Lottery Dream Home. She wants David to be her best friend. He wears crocheted shirts. Man used to wear combat boots with 4 inch heels and shorts. Yeah, only a gay guy can get away with that. Otherwise you're. You look like a. Like you'd be in an asylum. I don't know how the world works anymore. I just observe and giggle all the time. Then I enjoy it.

[Brett]

They say things that are horrible.

[Doug Hopkins]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Katie]

What do you got on the big board of musical treats today, Burt?

[Miles]

All right.

[Katie]

Wake up.

[Miles]

Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And well, as you heard John talking about, it's now time to get that bike serviced and ready for the season. An Action Ride Shop is your place to do it with two valley locations right there. Brand new one over on power Road and McDowell right there by the Hawes trailhead. So it's all right there for you. Plus you can go to the old school, go to the OG right there on Gilbert Road and Southern. They're going to take care of you there as well. Plus they have all the snow gear there. I think we're getting a little late for that. But they'll take care of you. Action rideshop.com is where you're going to go.

[Katie]

Jonathan has found the rover. AD says 45 year old dog walker prefers late night walks for 20 something hot chicks as owners. No fatties need apply. Yeah, that's probably it. Smoking girls with Instagram accounts that have a million followers or more. I'll walk your dog in the middle of the night. Ridiculous. Just, just don't ask a friend. You got to have a friend. You'd think, I mean if I called you in the middle of the night and said, brett, I got trouble, dog's been locked in the house. I can't get home for another five hours. Can I get you to open the garage up? And I'm not going to give you the code.

[Miles]

I've done that for. I've done that for friends too.

[Katie]

Absolutely. I got stuck.

[Miles]

I got it laid over in Chicago or something. All right, cool. I'll go over there.

[Katie]

Oh yeah, yeah. You had to have. Yeah. Jake. Yeah, so it's like help out. I'd have done it had you called me. I'm like, absolutely, I'll help your dogs out of the house. Brady's a little far bridge. Probably right on. I'm like on the border. I'm like Waymo. I've got. We don't go there.

[John]

Yeah, that's a fall.

[Katie]

That's a hall. Gotta find somebody nearby.

[John]

People around there. You can't go anywhere else. You don't know. I don't know where to go.

[Katie]

I can't tell you how many times since my buddy Mark has moved into my neighborhood that they're on a trip and I gotta go over there and like let their play with their dogs for a little while because their sitters gone for hours. The last thing you want. And what did they do? The one time I went over there and their teenage daughter, one of the dogs got into her trash can and all I saw was applicators laying on the ground. She must have had some sort of a friendly period party. So I cleaned it up. Some gloves, some hazmat equipment. Didn't know what that was, but yeah, the Rover's not doing that. He's just going to sit and go, oh yeah, yeah.

[John]

By the way, you got some tampies on the floor.

[Katie]

There's a load of tamp. Well, they were on the floor. They're in my pockets now.

[Miles]

I cleaned it all up.

[Katie]

What time y'all getting home? I'll walk your dogs. Again late. It's so creepy. Yuck. Anyway, go ahead. All right.

[Miles]

Unless GNR crossfade, that new one from Disturbed Hate Breed Slipknot Anthrax corn, lamb of God, redneck for David's customers. Dope, spine shank. And then talking about where you're talking about earlier for the water drive Ministry. Just one fix. And Manson's. I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me.

[Katie]

What? I don't think that guy could say that. I think the dude I ran into Friday liked the drugs, and he and the drugs had a very healthy relationship. He liked them and the drugs did their job. Everybody was winning in that deal.

[Miles]

Maybe just one fix then.

[Katie]

Yeah, I think just one fix is about where we need to be. Ministry. That's a good one. That's a great one. Then I saw. Oh, I saw a thing in the dirty dining reports. The worst dirty dining I've seen. One of the restaurants had a violation where they didn't have. I forget what Jason Barry called it. I might have to look it up. They didn't have a container for bodily fluid cleaners. I know. That's what I said. I had to think that was the tampon box. Ah, right. That's the only thing I could think of. The bodily cleaners fluid cleaner thing was not available.

[John]

A gentleman's club. I don't know.

[Katie]

They got dinged on it.

[Miles]

Yeah, Brady could be right.

[Katie]

And no, it wasn't a gentleman's club. It was a restaurant. Restaurant. I can't remember what it was. See? What do I have? Why. Why can't you just use a sock? Let's see if I can find it real quick. But the. Is that last night's? It said. Oh, yeah. No, it was West African cuisine. Freddie, you've been there.

[John]

Have not.

[Miles]

How is it that? Well, There you go.

[Katie]

19Th Avenue. Yeah. Brady hasn't been there.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Katie]

How's it a restaurant? It's more just an idea. And it said the three violations that it had were food worker not washing hands properly. We can remedy that. Employee handed raw. Handled raw fish and then handled the food containers. Okay, that's probably something you don't want to do. Guys gonna mention that no bodily fluid cleanup kit. I don't even know what that is. I don't want to know that those are necessary in a restaurant or jackrag. That's what that is. Why do we need one of those in a restaurant? So, guys, got all this bodily fluid all over your tummies. What's going on there?

[John]

You'll see when you taste the food.

[Bryce]

Here at Western African Cuisine, we like to ejaculate on ourselves and not clean it right before we make the West African food.

[Katie]

Is That a tradition in your country? Yes, chef. Okay, okay.

[John]

Delivered all at once. And also you. This.

[Bryce]

Goop.

[Katie]

What exactly is West African food exactly?

[Bryce]

Empty plates covered in our filth.

[Katie]

So you guys just jizz on plates and serve them West African food, which is. Oh, I see what it is.

[John]

With or without.

[Katie]

You guys just eat bodily fluids like you're on some sort of a Lost boys of the Sudan track.

[Bryce]

Exactly. You cannot get this type of West African starving people food.

[Katie]

I'm gonna have to ding you on the. No bodily cleanup kits.

[Bryce]

Our fluids flow freely.

[John]

We bring the dysentery to you.

[Katie]

Brett, Google bodily fluid cleanup kit. I'm an old man. I don't know what that is.

[John]

Yeah. Does Mr. Clean have a product?

[Katie]

Yeah, I don't know if that's like scrubbing bubbles. Is there something I haven't been doing? Right. Because for me, it's a shower. For me, the bodily fluid cleanup kit is. Go get me a wet towel or a shower. I don't have anything specific for that outside of just some napkins.

[Miles]

15 bucks on Amazon.

[Katie]

It's a first aid bodily fluid cleanup kit.

[John]

No, Mostly then just call it that.

[Katie]

A first aid kit.

[John]

In. In potentially infectious materials.

[Katie]

So blood ooze, pots, anything that's coming out of somebody.

[Miles]

The goop, it comes with vinyl gloves, face mask, eye shield.

[Katie]

Man, can't we just call it personal hygiene kits?

[John]

Are you supposed to have that kit at restaurants?

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Katie]

Evidently. Well, maybe it's racist the West Africans.

[Bryce]

Because our nations are riddled with aids.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's probably something we should get a cleanup kit on.

[Miles]

Here's their menu.

[Katie]

Liberian cuisine.

[Miles]

I think that's it.

[Katie]

What the hell? There's a lot of chicken and gunk, like gunky beans. That looks like chicken wings to me.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katie]

I'd be racist if I opened an African restaurant and just served chicken wings.

[Miles]

Chinese food, too.

[Katie]

They have Chinese food in Liberia.

[Miles]

Shrimp fried rice there. Look at that.

[John]

It is peas.

[Miles]

It's pretty good.

[Katie]

Doesn't look bad. I think an Asian guy owns this West African restaurant.

[Miles]

Oh, good enough.

[Katie]

Yeah. What make us different than Chinese is that we jack on food. We don't clean up either.

[Bryce]

No bodily fluid cleanup kit.

[Katie]

Hey, Mark. Dad, I need a loan. What are you going to do, Quan? Open West African restaurant.

[Bryce]

Oh, no, not at this again.

[Katie]

Yeah, it's over on 19th Avenue, so.

[John]

Yeah, but Tuesday special on that one picture you had there, Brett.

[Katie]

Oh, look. There's just a dead fish with its head on it and some potatoes.

[John]

That looks.

[Katie]

Looks like the Texas Grill. Nope. No, thanks.

[Miles]

That's their whole menu.

[Katie]

Keep in mind, the guy that made that dead fish there, and it doesn't look like.

[Miles]

I don't think that thing had the bodily cleanup kit they used on it.

[Katie]

It is. I can normally recognize type of fish that's square out of an aquarium. That's somebody's. That's an Oscar. That's.

[John]

Domestic.

[Bryce]

Look, in Africa, you eat what you find. That is an African restaurant. You come to the day, I sit you and I say, what would you like? And you say, I don't know. Surprise me. I go into the alley and I catch something.

[Miles]

Their social media.

[Katie]

Oh, they've got an Instagram page.

[Miles]

It doesn't work.

[John]

Well, they remedied the problem.

[Katie]

The no bodily fluid cleanup kit.

[John]

Yeah, they get. They bought a bottle. Bottle.

[Katie]

Yeah. Watching the news last night, when I saw Jason Barry say that, I'm like that. Those are words I've never heard before, all bunched up. Nobody's even asked me that. John, where's your bodily fluid cleanup kit? I'm like, do you need a shower? What's going on? I'm covered in bodily fluids. I'm not even going to ask the next question. Get out of my house.

[John]

Here's a Kleenex.

[Katie]

Yeah, she has tissue. Is the bottom. They didn't have any tissue with the West African, by the way. I mean, I know what you're trying to sell me there, but West African cuisine is not a name of any.

[Miles]

That's pricey, too.

[Katie]

What? Well, I mean, the cooks are working with wobbly legs. It's. They got to pay some guys to really get it done.

[Miles]

Kind of pricey for potatoes. 19th Avenue in Glendale.

[Katie]

Put on top of it. There's bodily fluids on the food. I don't think this place is going to make it.

[Miles]

Silver leaf and rice, 22 bucks.

[Katie]

I'm a betting man. Pretty soon, the word bear toes is going to be on that sign. We'll take this goat meat and pepper soup. I got to call my man Charles, who runs restaurants, and say, do you have bodily fluid cleanup kits at the ready? I get it. If it's like a. Like a first aid kit. That's what that would be. In case a cook cuts himself. But you're just making it too much. Bodily fluids are like Brady said, Pus, snot, spit, wee goop. Those are bodily fluids. Anything else is sweat, I guess.

[John]

Can we wipe off the table? There's a bunch of scams out there.

[Katie]

We don't have a kit for that. Oh, I just have to live with this. Mm.

[Bryce]

Hopefully a health inspector does not notice.

[Katie]

A lot of bodily food. I like the food.

[Miles]

You can get sour milk there.

[Katie]

They actually serve it.

[Bryce]

Would you like some expired dairy?

[Katie]

Of course.

[Bryce]

West African tradition. Because we don't have refrigerators.

[Katie]

There's flies on my food. Yes.

[Bryce]

West African cuisine.

[Katie]

I'm telling you.

[John]

That's a smoking deal.

[Katie]

Sunny D for 250 in Mountain Dew.

[John]

Yep. Monster Energy. Red Bull.

[Katie]

Sunny D. I'll have some Hakalaka and a Mountain Dew. Anyway. I just. Again. One of these days that Jason Barry is gonna get murdered.

[Doug Hopkins]

But.

[Katie]

And I don't want to be in a restaurant where they do have a bodily fluid cleanup kit. And I can see it. I'm leaving.

[John]

It's at the host's desk.

[Bryce]

Just in case you. Ejaculate is one for all of you.

[Katie]

Case I do. What now? Is the food that good? Yes.

[Bryce]

We give you ejaculation rags because you will love the fly based rice that we have.

[Katie]

Don't tell me that. And then I gotta clean that up. So they gotta go get one now. It didn't stop the bodily fluids from flying around. They just now have a kit to clean it up. Thanks. Channel 3. It's out of control now.