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John Holmberg
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Dick Toledo
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Brett Vesely
There you go. Digging deep on that. Like that tarantula. Smashing pumpkins. Back at it before we get into the Brady Report. Hey, let's let everyone know about you, Brett.
John Holmberg
Hey, thanks.
Brett Vesely
Talking about making life tougher for the cops and stuff. Brett's going to go out today. Maricopa County Sheriff's Office. Just go over there, hang out. You're okay.
John Holmberg
Why not? Yeah, yeah, sure. It's all right.
Brett Vesely
The training office, you know, hang with Brett. Try get a job over the MCSO's hiring event for detention officers. Get over there and Brett's gonna help you out. It's gonna get to know the police. It's what all mobsters do. They shake hands with the cops.
Dick Toledo
Purposely going to hang out with the police.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I may have a few envelopes in my pocket, but, you know, I.
Brett Vesely
Mean, how's the family? You can talk to recruiters about the hiring process. Salaries there start at 54 grand. To be a detention officer, you give.
Brady
The cheek kiss to the sheriff?
John Holmberg
No, not to them.
Brett Vesely
But, you know, come on. You shake hands, you act like a man. What are you trying to kiss a man for, huh? Put your dick away. I'm just going over to shake hands. You get. That's a pretty good deal. The bonus incentives off the great pay, great benefits. No appointment needed. Just hang out there and bread will get you in with the sheriff.
John Holmberg
That's right.
Brett Vesely
Never thought this would happen. Maricopa County Sheriff's Office. We're bringing Brett over there with his real identity. I don't know. I like the combo, but he can do that today from 3 to 5 o'clock. It's on 35th Avenue in Buckeye. You're gonna need the cops. Oh, yeah. So head on over there. And Brett will take care. You got all sorts of things, too. You got bandanas, you got ufest tickets, you got geezer. You're loaded. So, you know, maybe get a job, become a detention officer, get to meet Brett. There you go. I helped you get this job. How dare you look into me.
John Holmberg
I keep you guys employed.
Brett Vesely
What are you doing all this on the 53rd anniversary of the Godfather's release? Happened this week. 53. So why not have old Corleone from the station go down there and hobnob around with some politicians and some.
John Holmberg
How you guys doing?
Brett Vesely
Oh, good to see you guys again under these circumstances. You know, you're wearing the tracksuit. Oh, you gotta wear the track.
John Holmberg
It wasn't 95 degrees. I would.
Brady
It's Michael Imperioli's birthday today.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God, it's Christopher. I'm leaving. Auntie's birthday.
John Holmberg
I gotta take the day off. I thought this was a.
Brett Vesely
I gotta work today. Oh, that Christopher. I just said Brett's going down. He's got to talk to somebody. I'll go down a witcher. A couple of guys in that office and I are friends. Hey, Brett, I think about maybe becoming a detention officer. I'm just kidding. It's time for the Brady Report. That's brought to you by our friends at all Pro Shade concepts. Like a 95 today. It was 99 yesterday. It's hot and it kind of takes you by surprise. I walked out of this building yesterday, got hit with that heat. It felt really good. Like, I'm like, oh, that's good. But then you realize the arrow's pointing up. It's not going to last that long. Laid in the backyard yesterday under my shady shade. Shade's good because it was about a 15 degree drop the minute the sun was kind of drifting into the lower end of the sky there. Like, oh, boy. You shade up a backyard area, man, you've got yourself a brand new room in your house. It's like having new square footage. All Pro Shade Concepts will help you out. They've did it to Brady's house. They've done it to everybody's place in the valley. They're going to cover you if you want. And all you got to do is have a spot. Say, I want to shade this up, put some furniture in there. A TV covers everything and it's ready to go. So the sun is definitely part of our lives. Shade then becomes an essential part of our day. So AllProchade.com can help you, get you an estimate and get you going right before the summer begins. And cool your backyard up a little bit as well. Brady reported.
Brady
Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.
Brett Vesely
Hello, world. Hi.
Brady
Happy make up your own holiday day.
Brett Vesely
Christopher's birthday.
John Holmberg
That's not made up.
Brett Vesely
That is true.
John Holmberg
That's all.
Brett Vesely
Well, Christopher Maltzanti is.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
It's also Live long and prosper day.
Brett Vesely
Star Trek day. I can only do this on my left hand.
Brady
Would have been his birthday.
Brett Vesely
I can barely do the right hand. You can't either. You're good. Brady's got them both and Brett's gonna. Both. I can do it. But the right hand is a struggle to do the live long and prosper. Left hands nothing.
Dick Toledo
My left hand is.
Brett Vesely
Right hand takes work. That's weird.
Dick Toledo
Your right hand takes.
Brett Vesely
My right hand struggles with the left hand. I can do it. I can make the. I can work it. I have to think about it.
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
How about this one? West side snaps right into place.
Dick Toledo
I can't do that one.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, you can't do west side. You can't do west side. You can't cross your middle fingers.
John Holmberg
I had to practice for my remote today, sir.
Brett Vesely
No middle fingers. Yeah, What I'm doing here, I have.
Brady
To close the manually.
Brett Vesely
You can't do all of them like that. Then I can cross them all.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, I gotta manually do it too.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that's manual. But like.
Dick Toledo
And then I.
Brett Vesely
You have to manually flip west side. The hands. You can't be in the gang because your hands are armored.
Brady
This is the. Yeah, this is close to the west side.
Brett Vesely
You just do three fingers. That's dumb for me.
Dick Toledo
My W's is just in a different font.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, yeah. Your W's in Sanskrit. Yeah, I got a good one. Brett and I could be in the game.
Brady
Well, Brett, that's pretty crossover, man.
Brett Vesely
That's easy. You can do it while you're in it. You can uncross, recross. I've never seen a hand that retarded. Yours is losing it to where you'd get so confused. Your other fingers crossed.
John Holmberg
Brady's just got the V for vhs.
Brett Vesely
You're crossing the wrong fingers. You see that, right?
Brady
Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. Those are only two I can cross.
Brett Vesely
Oh, I thought you were trying to cross the middle ones and those were doing it. No, no, because his other fingers are doing it. I'm like, why are those going to do the other ones? Yeah, the live long and prosper. I can do. Right hand's a struggle. West side's nothing.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
You can't do it. Either. God, that's weird.
Brady
It's illegal to own more than six sex toys in Texas.
Brett Vesely
Hold my beer.
Dick Toledo
I'd like to see the department that's in charge of that.
Brett Vesely
Governor Abbott, roll in. All right, check these draws.
Brady
No basketball movie has ever made a hundred million at the domestic box office. The closest is Space jam and made 90 million. White man can't jump second. 76 million.
Brett Vesely
Hoosiers is.
Brady
That's what I was.
Brett Vesely
Never made a ton of money like right away.
Dick Toledo
It's just a cult favorite.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I think it was more like a video and cable. Great movie, though.
Brady
The map of the fictional city of Pawnee, Indiana. Parks and Recreation is a map of Christchurch in New Zealand. And the names have changed. Napster was launched back in 1999. It just sold for $207 million.
Brett Vesely
Just now.
Brady
Yep.
Dick Toledo
Still owned by Sean Fanning.
Brett Vesely
I think he got rid of it a while ago.
Brady
That's actually been sold a couple of times.
Brett Vesely
That's not very good, to be honest. No.
Dick Toledo
Well, I mean the fact that it's got anything.
Brett Vesely
It's a billion dollar idea that changed all of music and all of how we get music and everything else. And Apple said, man, you guys are doing it kind of a scam way. We gotta charge. Metallica ruined it.
Dick Toledo
Limewire and everything else that came along.
Brett Vesely
Metallica came in and kicked Napster around. And Napster's technology, I mean Napster was the Jesus of this whole thing. It got hung.
Brady
They still have one big selling point. The audio is less compressed. So people who want good sound quality prefer that the Metaverse company called Infinite Reality. Reality. Sorry, just bought it right now.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
They say that they plan to transform Napster into a social and music platform.
Dick Toledo
Music services?
Brady
Yeah, basically. Also virtual concerts. You put on your VR headsets and you can watch the concert.
Brett Vesely
I can do that now.
Brady
Better sound.
Brett Vesely
Okay, but it's just the VR sound, they're saying compressed. So it's going to be very. It's going to be to the audio files ear. But Napster should be. Napster dropped the ball as much as Metallica did. Fighting them. Had those two. Those two guys used their energy to unite and say, oh my God, this idea you have is so great, but you're robbing from artists. Let's come up with a plan. It would be bigger than Apple because that's essentially what happens. Apple came along and said, we'll charge you a buck a song.
Brady
It was shut down in 2001, then relaunched as a paid service and went bankrupt. Best Buy bought it in 2008. It's been sold a few more times since then.
John Holmberg
I didn't know Best Buy bought it.
Brett Vesely
I didn't know why it never became an app. I don't know why Napster Never became like one in 2010. Why they just put it on an app and you can buy. Because they had to buy music rights. I don't think they could get them. I don't know how it works. But Napster was. When I first started in radio, I stole everything from Napster.
Dick Toledo
Oh my God.
Brett Vesely
It was insane.
Dick Toledo
Portion of three different radio stations in Seattle that are fully supplied by Napster. Songs.
Brett Vesely
I pulled everything out of that. You could find anything.
Dick Toledo
We flipped to 80s in Seattle at 80s format 90%. I was on Napster on. On the Reg on that one too.
Brett Vesely
Finding old stuff. Goofing around with like novelty songs. Yeah.
John Holmberg
And then Limewire and Kazaa came around and just.
Brady
Kaza.
Dick Toledo
I forgot about Kaza.
John Holmberg
And that's when all our computers at the station got infected.
Dick Toledo
Yep. Kaza used to get software on. Yeah. I got office.
John Holmberg
That's how somebody that used to work here screwed up half our computers.
Brett Vesely
That's right. They stole software. Hey. Maybe just a bad idea. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible. Radiate upd Holmberg's morning sickness.
Brady
Someone did a study on a TSA PreCheck say is it worth it? They found it only saves an average of seven minutes. They said the average person with pre check TSA precheck said it takes 36 minutes to get through airport security. That's compared to 43 minutes for everyone else. Precheck all people also get to the airport just as early.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady
This study that they found 1 hour and 41 minute minutes before domestic flight compared to an hour 47 to non.
Brett Vesely
You need 30 minutes. They have screwed you so badly. And we all sit back scared that we're doing something wrong if we don't show up two hours early. And essentially do you. And I've said this for years. They turned airports into malls almost exclusively after 2001. There used to be a bar here and there. Someplace down there. Yeah.
Brady
It's nice.
Brett Vesely
It's a mall now. And why in the world would they want you to be useless and helpless for two hours before your flight unless they had some sort of benefit to it. They don't want people milling around doing. They built malls and you got no choice delaying. You spend money out of boredom just walking through. We'll go over to the Four Peaks or we'll go over here and Grab a beer. I didn't necessarily want one now, but I'm going to. That's why JSX is the king. Show up right when the planes leaving. We don't care.
John Holmberg
I think the pre check does help. Depending on where you're at. Like, sure, try to go land at mid or get on the plane at Midway. And in Chicago, you're saving tons of time.
Dick Toledo
With pre check here, nothing.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Here it's a yeah. You're going through.
Brett Vesely
Still only going like 30 or 40 minutes for the flight.
Brady
They claim the pre check makes the whole experience a lot less stressful. Well, on a scale from 1 to 10, people with pre check rated the stress of getting through security a 3.4. That's compared to 7.3 before they signed up.
Brett Vesely
No place is more evident than how we are sheep than the airport. We show up when they say we're scared of like minimum wage security guards where like everything you can do anything in 35 minutes. You can get there. Get to your flight in 35 minutes.
Brady
The poll asked also looked at the most stressful things about flying and they gave three choices. The TSA line, crying babies and ending up in the middle seat. Middle seats ranks first with about half the vote, around 40%. And crying babies are up there second.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that's babies in general. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
The double middle seats on international flights, those stink even worse. You got to get up past three people to get out.
Brady
Oh, yeah. Like, no.
Brett Vesely
I just. It's airports. We've been scammed, we've been snowed over. 911 is actually. I bet you if you talk to airport executives like, you know, it was a rough couple days, but it's been a real boondoggle. It was been a nice day. We've seen some cash flowing since 911 because now everybody goes into Hudson News. If that was a store outside of an airport, you'd never go in there. But I'm in Hudson News. I got like four magazines, some M&M's, a stuffed animal. I'm like, what am I doing?
Dick Toledo
$10 headphones because you forgot yours.
Brett Vesely
I forgot that I've got a neck pillow that doesn't fit on my head.
John Holmberg
You gotta go to the finance department because then prices are through the roof.
Brett Vesely
I gotta get my loan in place at Hudson News. When's the last time you ever said, I'm just gonna pop in here and grab a couple magazines, just killing time.
Brady
A woman in Florida is facing charges for robbing a Dairy Queen at gunpoint.
Dick Toledo
85 cent blizzard, Brady.
Brady
Yeah, only if you Would have known because she got away with a buck 50. Allison Fetting is her name. Flashed a gun at a Dairy Queen near Fort Lauderdale. Told the cashier to give her all the money in the register, but she didn't. So she grabbed the tip jar instead, made off with a buck 50.
Brett Vesely
Do you have a picture?
Brady
Do.
Brett Vesely
What color is this crime.
Dick Toledo
What was the name again?
Brett Vesely
Allison Fetting.
Dick Toledo
Oh, no.
John Holmberg
Where was it?
Brady
She was already in jail for several other. Several other armed robberies and drugs.
Dick Toledo
I'm going with the new term I learned yesterday. Crystal Methodist.
Brett Vesely
Oh, I like that. Yeah.
John Holmberg
I'm going tweaker.
Brett Vesely
You say full white. Yeah, I'm gonna say. Man, it does feel very messy. White.
John Holmberg
That's tweaky.
Brett Vesely
I want to go with the other.
Dick Toledo
Other.
Brett Vesely
I'm not saying black. Okay, Other. Like maybe Puerto Rican or something.
Brady
Wnba.
Brett Vesely
Oh, super lesbian. I think I get this. This is other.
Brady
Oh, that's not other.
Brett Vesely
Come on. That's completely other. Brett. No way. That doesn't count as anything. But what I say is that's Rachel Maddow's got better hair. Dana Taurasi's hair when she's pulled back on the court. Come on. Yeah, she said Norton. I'll give you that. She's white, but I don't see tweaky. I see other attached to this.
Dick Toledo
No, she's not tweaky. So I failed on that one.
Brett Vesely
Other.
John Holmberg
Be tweaky to be with that.
Brady
There's a big increase of beard transplants happening.
Brett Vesely
Beard.
Brady
People are flying. Yeah, people are flying to Istanbul. That's the hair transplant capital of the world.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. In Turkey. Okay. And they're getting beards put on, so they're stripping the back of their head.
Brady
Yeah. It looks like you can get it done for a thousand bucks.
Brett Vesely
That's almost worth it. I have a horrible beard. So it's a couple grand to fly back and forth to Turkey. Another thousand sister.
Brady
It wasn't a beard, but she had a friend that American, flew to Turkey.
Brett Vesely
And did the hair.
Brady
Yep.
Brett Vesely
Oh, tons of guys are doing that.
Brady
Said it was, you know, with a flight and everything. Still cheaper.
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah.
Brady
But it started George Michael kicked it in in the 90s with his tight goatee and picture of him that.
Brett Vesely
Who did it?
Brady
That's the guy from. The guy that's from England.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady
A lot of people want that. So they. They still put that up there as a look.
Brett Vesely
That it's a goatee.
John Holmberg
Is all.
Brett Vesely
I can grow that.
Brady
That's a goatee. But they give an example of they showed one guy that had the beard.
John Holmberg
I thought George Michael did have a beard.
Brady
They grafted in.
Brett Vesely
We did, but Brady's. Brady saw this picture and made his own assessment that this is what people.
John Holmberg
Okay. Because I want your sex.
Brady
I thought he was like his five o'clock shadow basically.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. That's interesting to me. I might if it wasn't for the flight. Turkey, so far away. Why can't we do stuff like this in New Mexico? New Mexico's got to be hurting for some money. Can't you drop the price and do some of these? Can we open a Turkish hair center in New Mexico and just give them the money?
Dick Toledo
Just relax. Rather go to Turkey, let them open up whatever they want.
Brett Vesely
Brett makes a good point.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
Rather bring Turkey to New Mexico than New Mexico to Turkey. But just like build a little Turkish town and give them sovereignty. And that way we can fly over to Albuquerque and drive out of there as fast as we can and then drive around in that desert and go to that Turkish town where they do beard hair and hair hair. So we don't have to fly for 13 hours.
Brady
I'm flying through there in September.
Brett Vesely
Turkey.
Brady
Maybe I'll get a quickie.
Brett Vesely
A big gay man trip.
Brady
Yeah. Get some hair and a beard.
Dick Toledo
Right.
Brett Vesely
You got a connecting in Istanbul?
Brady
Yep.
Brett Vesely
Interesting. And get some hair. Brady come back with a patch.
Brady
Can they do it in three hours?
Brett Vesely
Sure. Give them a little extra.
Brady
This guy from Canada got busted 31 year old guy for filming a 9 year old changing. He set up a camera his different angles on this dressing room. And then told the nine year old to go in there and get dressed into a bathing suit. It was a fail.
Brett Vesely
That's disgusting.
Brady
He deleted the videos. But someone got the deleted videos and he said the reason he was doing it he was checking to see if he is a pedophile.
Brett Vesely
Oh, he was testing the water.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
So maybe I'm gonna like this, maybe I don't. Are you looking at pictures of the Istanbul hair center?
Dick Toledo
Yeah, this is Ankara in Turkey. Apparently they got a good amusement park.
Brett Vesely
See?
John Holmberg
Better. New Mexico.
Brett Vesely
It already is better than New Mexico.
Dick Toledo
Highways look clean.
Brett Vesely
Thanks for the distraction there, Richard. Because Brady's last story was the most important. It was about a guy who was filming little girls to see if he liked to if he was sexually aroused by them.
Brady
Wanted to check to see if you know.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. The other was the end result. No.
Brady
Yes, he is. He's getting arrested.
Brett Vesely
No, no. He's getting arrested. But did he say no, it didn't work. It didn't take. It was his test. So he didn't give the.
Brady
The answer.
Brett Vesely
No verdict yet. You need a couple more videos.
Brady
Guy in Seattle gets busted because he threw away 14 binders full of pictures. Child porn put in a dumpster, along with some other paperwork that had his name on it. So the guy said during the interview with the police, he admitted to tossing the binders into the dumpster near his apartment. But. And then police said he admitted to molesting about 50 children, but stopped when he was arrested in 1983.
Brett Vesely
Wait, he stopped? So he hasn't molested since?
Brady
And he kept the binders? You know, he's just there up in the garage. You know, maybe I should get rid of these. Get rid of some stuff he's doing.
Brett Vesely
A little spring cleaning.
Brady
Yeah, a little cleaning.
Dick Toledo
Sex addict keeps his porn stash.
Brett Vesely
No, no, no. But no, they don't trust me. The. Yeah. You know, why would you keep your porn stash of children's photos?
Brady
Oh, not bad.
Brett Vesely
Yeah. You just need to be quiet right now. You're gonna. Brett's new sheriff friends are coming for you. Yeah, he was just going through and.
Brady
Cleaning up his past 17 binders, and then.
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah, those are mine, but I've been.
Brady
I got in trouble in 1983.
Brett Vesely
I kept the binders. I forgot I had them going through the attic and stuff. Memories. Yeah, you can't have binders. You burn those. By the way. Homebirds. Morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. Not to give pedophiles advice and stuff, but if you've got a.
Brady
No, keep doing that.
Brett Vesely
I agree that that's a good way, but Honestly, you get 17 binders of kid photos. Burn that.
Brady
Sarah Oakley's 34 years old, and she had an adopted dog named Retta. It's a terrier mix she got from a dog shelter. And three months later, she came home to the pup lying on top of dirty clothes pile. She had some missing underwear, and the dog was sick but couldn't throw it up. Ate five pairs of her skims underwear.
Brett Vesely
They're a little thick.
Brady
There's a picture of her.
John Holmberg
Oh, she's a beast.
Brett Vesely
She's not bad, really. She's a little thick. I mean, she's skims worthy. The dog's adorable.
Brady
And here's the X way of the belly.
John Holmberg
At least they weren't the K and A X panties.
Brady
So she was hit with a bill of 13 grand from the vet ladies. She needs a little help. She's even reaching out to Kim Kardashian because she's the founder of skims.
Brett Vesely
I've said this for years, Brady. The fact that Alpo and Ken L. Rashin and all these people, they have not made women's panty flavored dog food because they can't get enough of it. Also corpse old man corpse cats will eat that. Like, we're missing out on their favorite flavors. Because if you put a steak and a woman's worn panties next to a puppy, steak's gonna sit there for a minute. It's gonna blow through the. The crotch too. It's not like they're messing around with the. Just the smell of the cotton or whatever. Yeah, they're going right into the.
Brady
Yep.
Brett Vesely
Whatever's oozing out of you all day long is. Is doggy based. And I don't know why you guys don't talk about it. You gotta mop that up a little bit. You leave your panties on the floor and the dog eats them. You gotta have questions more. You know what? Dogs never eat men's underwear. I don't know what we're doing right and you're doing wrong, but whatever's falling out of you. Ugh. And that makes me think. Ah. I can't say it. There's so many lonely ladies out there with dogs. And I have to say, Brady, you're gonna hate this. There's Probably a high 20s percentage of single women and their dogs. And when she discovers that what comes out of her is his favorite treat. I'm just saying.
Dick Toledo
High 20s.
Brett Vesely
High 20s. Come on now. A lot of lonely old ladies out there. Rich.
Dick Toledo
Over what? Like, what age range?
Brett Vesely
I don't trust any single woman with a puppy is what I'm saying.
Dick Toledo
Over what age?
Brady
So cute.
Brett Vesely
Oh, I don't know.
Dick Toledo
It's what size puppy?
Brett Vesely
All puppies love women's crotches. Underpants, all of them.
Brady
Don't test it.
Brett Vesely
But that's where. Here's where I'm at. High 20 percentage that once they discover he always eats the crotch out of my panties. And the next thing you know, there's Fido at the end of the bed going, that didn't feel terrible. It's been so long.
Brady
That's why they go right for it, too, when they greet you sometimes. Stop it.
Brett Vesely
Single lady greeting ladies. Yeah. Because they've been trained to do it. Yeah. There it is. Oh, yeah, I am. I'm gonna throw that number out there. 22 to 27% of all single women with dogs have discovered the Ken El Raishin. That stuff you spray In a Kong ball. That peanut butter?
Brady
Yep. They'll work on it for hours.
Brett Vesely
Oh, they'll work on it for hours. So all she has to do is take that nozzle of the peanut butter stuff you're putting in Kong balls, cover herself with it, and that's the best of both worlds, that dog will be.
Brady
Fortunately for that girl, it took five pairs down all the way.
Brett Vesely
Well, I'm not saying she's one of them, but I'm saying now she knows that that little area is dog dining. I hate that. That's a thought. But I also hate that it's probably pretty real.
Dick Toledo
Oh, come on now, John. My daughter's dog loves used tampons.
Brett Vesely
It's disgusting.
Dick Toledo
Well, yeah. Get a trash with a cover on it.
Brett Vesely
Well, train your dog to stay out of the garbage, but also train your daughter not to chuck treats into the bathroom. Reward it. Yeah. It's basically. They don't know.
Brady
Sit, sit. Good dog.
Brett Vesely
Right? And he's looking around going, I love the smell of blood and I love whatever's coming out of you. And you're just leaving them on little popsicle sticks. Okay. And that's when I went to my friend's house to watch their house. And they went into the teen girl's bathroom and tore her. Her trash out into the hallway. And it was all feminine hygiene stuff. And you know what? I didn't see any of the cotton. Just a bunch of the plastic. Oh, Christ.
Dick Toledo
Read that bottom one there. It's where on the right.
Brett Vesely
John, you're talking about when a woman sneezes and it looks like she gave birth to a baby. What? Squid. I have not seen that.
John Holmberg
I have not.
Brett Vesely
What? I know they sneeze downstairs sometimes. Yeah, it does look like they blew their nose occasionally. And some girls, the good ones know, but some of them do, and the dogs love it like applesauce.
Brady
There's this guy from Michigan, played the daily 3 lottery with the number 666. Won 500 bucks.
Brett Vesely
Nice.
Brady
Took a hundred of that and did the fast cash tickets. Won 2.4 million with the help of Sage, sold his soul to the devil.
Brett Vesely
Yes. So Satan's numbers got this guy. Two lottery wins. Yeah, there you go. Never win with 777. That's a casino scam.
Brady
Got a couple of Brady videos.
Dick Toledo
First off, John, can we throw a little props out for Brady saying six sex toys in Texas?
Brett Vesely
Yeah, look, we don't want to. Look, we don't. That was just going back and forth.
Brady
And whether to do that.
Brett Vesely
That snowball was Rolling. And he got through it.
Dick Toledo
And then another one. John, flashback to 1982. 15 year old you with a bag of coins. Would you head to Las Cruces and hit the Turkish Bush company instead of buying a blue Sharpie?
Brett Vesely
No, I didn't have any pubes. What did that have to do with. Oh, no, Because I knew they were coming.
Brady
Crash it in there.
Dick Toledo
It was just a matter of time.
Brett Vesely
I couldn't have faced the doctor and go speed up the process here. I know I probably got like a year left, but I got to get some pubes.
Brady
You would have regretted that.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I was. I was 14. Pubeless. Drew the pubes on for the girl next door so she could at least get a visual of a man. And then. But the blue marker I would not have tried to transplant in. But you know what I would do now is take that and make it my beard because it's thick. It's the only part of my body here that's like Jesus Christ. Like a Mexican lady down there. It's thick, man.
Dick Toledo
Your beard is nasty.
Brett Vesely
It's a little curly, but I can arrange. It would be. It would. Because when I shave it, it's. It's George Michael.
Dick Toledo
Right.
Brett Vesely
Like to go back to that 5 o'clock shadow. When I trim her down, you do.
Dick Toledo
That card test like Keith Ornament.
Brett Vesely
Oh, it's good looking down there. But if I could transplant the pube hair to my cheeks, I'd have one hell of a beard.
Brady
The first radio video is a lady that got her eyeballs tattooed. You think it looks good on her?
Brett Vesely
No, I don't even want to look at this.
Brady
I think she said she has destroyed her feeling.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, she looks like an alien. Her whole body has been blacked out by tattoo and filler. She's naked right now, isn't she?
John Holmberg
Yep, she is. Oh, hang on, let me look at her.
Brett Vesely
She's totally new, but her face looks like she's been burned badly. You know when they put the new face or like, you know what, she looks like the lady who had that orangutan rip her face off and then they did a fake face. She's got that over.
Brady
Because they botched the nose.
John Holmberg
Yeah. That would have looked better than this.
Brett Vesely
Did they? Or is that.
Dick Toledo
I think that's a pristine nose.
Brett Vesely
I think the nose might be okay. And the rest of it makes the nose.
John Holmberg
Well, that looks like a Michael Jackson nose.
Brett Vesely
It is.
Dick Toledo
It shows it out of a catalog.
Brett Vesely
But on her face.
Brady
Did it too many times.
Brett Vesely
Okay, on her face. What's the best feature. It's the nose.
John Holmberg
I'll take a zero, I would say.
Brady
Yeah. I'm not finding one.
Brett Vesely
No, no, no. I'm saying you. You. I'm not saying what's a chin? I'm not saying what's a good chin. I don't.
Brady
I think her hair is a wreck.
John Holmberg
Well, no, she's got that five head. Never mind.
Brett Vesely
They should pay.
John Holmberg
There's nothing there. There's no redeeming quality.
Brett Vesely
No, but I'm just saying, all things relative, what's the one feature on her face that is better than the rest? And I'd say her nose. It's just surrounded by so much crazy.
John Holmberg
You just gotta hang yourself.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, well, I agree with that.
Dick Toledo
I think there's a local tattoo guy that'll do your eyeballs.
Brett Vesely
Sure. What did she have tattooed in her eyes, though? I don't even. Like in the bottom corner. Yeah, Just a little drop of something in her eye.
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
And that's what she's gonna get all the time. You got something in your eyes.
Brett Vesely
You think people are talking to her? Yeah, I don't.
Dick Toledo
I don't think there's a lot of regular conversations.
Brett Vesely
Also, nobody's looking at her face going, you got a little something right here. Not a thing.
Dick Toledo
They're.
Brady
They're talking to her at the dollar store like.
Brett Vesely
Nobody's talking. Only you, new friend. So what year were you burned terribly and then had to go through all this? I did most. Too much hemo.
Brady
I like your eye tattoos.
Brett Vesely
H's morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. You got a little something in your teeth. And also your whole face has been botched.
Brady
Next one's a little soccer injury. This is from a while ago.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, yeah.
Dick Toledo
Jerseys.
Brett Vesely
Oh, this is legs.
Brady
Oh, the guy got kicked in the leg.
Brett Vesely
Oh, is this him flopping around? I've seen this one. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
No, no, watch.
Brett Vesely
Oh, does it break? It's off.
Brady
Oh, yeah.
Brett Vesely
Oh, no. His bones just sticking out of the side of his leg. He tries to get up and walk. The bone is just sticking out of his leg.
Dick Toledo
I don't know if he broke his.
Brady
Leg or if he just took the.
Dick Toledo
Cleats to the side and it opened it up. I think the cleats just.
Brett Vesely
Oh, maybe. Oh, yeah, it could be. I don't know. That's gross all the way around, though. Yuck.
Dick Toledo
They sharpened their cleats back then.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God.
Brady
Last one's a little sexy dancing.
Dick Toledo
I just did a story on this one.
Brett Vesely
What is this on a Mexican TV show.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
They're doing a little. Oh, she's white pants. One of the girls is waving her body around. She's in white pants and she's had her period. And they did a close up one on the right.
Dick Toledo
Didn't have to worry about that.
Brett Vesely
Did a close up on her white pants and her butt. And she's a lot of period in there. Okay.
Dick Toledo
Ladies, don't you know not to wear white?
Brett Vesely
Yes, but she. Her ass looked hot in those. And she thought. She thought she was light flow that day. Yeah. Turned out she had a Nicole Brown Simpson monthly.
Brady
Oh.
Brett Vesely
Left the patio a little stained. How about that? All right, Bert, go ahead.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brett Vesely
My God, that was gross. That's one of the worst ones I've ever seen. Of all the rosebuds and stuff. That little period drop.
John Holmberg
That's somebody created A.I. for Brady.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my Lord. Oh, my Lord. It is a set of boobs. Okay. These are breasts the size of Hyundais and they are lactating an unbelievable amount of milk on a woman with thighs like Earl Campbell.
Dick Toledo
Say she's yolks.
Brett Vesely
She's like Saquon Barkley naked with breasts 10 times bigger than a cow's. Utter.
Dick Toledo
A little frozen face and yes.
Brett Vesely
Looks like Elsa from frozen. Let it flow. Let it flow.
John Holmberg
Crandall created that for you, Brady.
Brett Vesely
So that was a creation from one of our listeners for just Brady and his fascination with lactating women. Does Tom know about that? Your brother's in town. He should know. He's listening, right? We've seen stuff like, is he coming in this morning to talk about things like, here's a guy's penis that has a nail and he's sitting on a glass bottle with a nail on his penis and glass bottles in his butt.
Dick Toledo
I hope the charity people outside can see this.
Brady
Wow. That's bigger than. That's a clothespin.
Brett Vesely
And that. Oh, he's got a clothes pin.
John Holmberg
Screwdriver.
Brett Vesely
It's a. Is a screwdriver. And as you're right. Handle first. Handle first into the penis. Oh, and it's a lot of blood pulling that out.
Brady
Oh, wow.
Brett Vesely
That is a lot of blood.
Brady
It looks so worth it.
Brett Vesely
The music tell. It's fun.
John Holmberg
Sounds like he's beginning flash dance or something.
Dick Toledo
I don't think he's just his worst worry.
Brett Vesely
He's peeing blood. This blood is pouring out. I don't know.
Brady
Again, Brett, the stuff you do on the weekends, working on the car.
Brett Vesely
One more.
John Holmberg
Yeah, go with this one.
Brett Vesely
Here's something we're on. We're on a beautiful mo. There's about. Looks like 15 Irish. Oh, it's an execution. They're all. They're all. Oh, God. This is an Afghan. There's a Brad. I don't think it's good that we have an ISIS flag on the.
Dick Toledo
This isn't good.
Brett Vesely
Oh, they're all there. Two guys are running away. They're gonna blow up these guys in the middle of a field. They're just sitting there blindfolded. I don't know what's gonna happen. And something bad coming. Just blew up. About eight dudes.
Dick Toledo
We can do without those videos.
Brett Vesely
I think they have multiple. Oh, there's just body parts everywhere. Jesus. The. The Internet is the darkest. I don't want to see this. It's the darkest place I've ever been.
John Holmberg
And then we'll just end with this one.
Brett Vesely
You got more.
John Holmberg
I'll just end with this one. I had one that I scared.
Brett Vesely
Here's a lady who's deep throating a sex toy. A large one. Oh, she's gonna swallow it. That's a good 10 inches. She's gonna swallow the whole thing. And I mean swallow it down to the tummy. She's smacking her face. Oh, it's back up. Oh, there was already another one in there. Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
That man.
Brett Vesely
Just stand up and clap. Oh, my. She ate a 10 inch wiener in her mouth and then pulled out a second one.
Brady
Wow.
Brett Vesely
We didn't know there was a second one in there.
John Holmberg
No.
Brett Vesely
That's amazing.
Dick Toledo
Wow.
Brett Vesely
I want to marry you. Emmy award.
Dick Toledo
Up in the corner. That's her.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God. Yeah, she's won for local news. That's amazing. Did anyone. If we'd have paused that and said, guess what's next?
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Brett Vesely
Oh, she's pulling out another nine inch dong that was already resting comfortably in her chest.
Brady
So risky.
Brett Vesely
You think it's too risky?
John Holmberg
Maybe that's what Dan. Dan was hoping for.
Brett Vesely
Brady's assessed this and insurance. The insurance isn't going to cover that.
Brady
No bibbery on that.
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God. It's just not happening. Unbelievable. I stood up and clapped. I'd pay for that. I'd pay someone to do that in front of me. And I would do it like, okay, go in the bathroom and swallow the first 10 incher, then come in and amaze my friends by eating a 10 incher and then pull both of them out. Everyone will start throwing money at you. This is incredible. That's a bachelor party that she charges extra. She Is she's the clothes or ping pong balls. Child's play. And it wasn't her baby factory. It was her mouth.
Brady
She could have been on letter end back in the day.
Brett Vesely
I. Yeah, stupid human tricks were awesome. I choked on a potato cube and almost had to call. I had to go to the hospital.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
This lady had 20 inches of sex toys.
John Holmberg
She didn't have a nine inch dong.
Dick Toledo
Wow.
Brett Vesely
I'd never have had a nine inch dong. Trying to rule her now ruler was an accident. It only went about 7 inches. It chopped the hell out of my throat. Had to go to the hospital for that. Missed a day of school.
John Holmberg
Dan must have been so proud.
Brett Vesely
He was so worried. I can't. I wish. There's one thing that like would be cool. Technology is to tap into my dad's brain and remember something that we like. Couldn't that be awesome? If it's like, all right, we were together. I'd like to see. And you and you basically tell the technology, this is the memory. I'm gonna give my dad of this and I want him to give me his memory. And we'll swap them. Yes. And I can tie into my dad's head and go. Remember the time I came running out of my bedroom with that ruler jammed into my throat. Like, I know I'll know what he's thinking and we'll switch memories and he'll see me in pure panic and realize, oh, it was a complete accident. And then my. His reaction when he sees his. His 12, 12, 13 year old boy come around the corner with a ruler jammed in his throat going. Blood pouring out of my mouth. The hell were you putting a ruler in your throat for? I wasn't. I put it in my mouth. I bent down and it hit the floor. What were you doing on the floor with a ruler in your mouth? Like, none of it made sense to him.
John Holmberg
Have you ever had him on the air to tell these stories?
Brett Vesely
No, I don't want to hear. Oh, I don't hear it.
Brady
And there was another time.
Brett Vesely
Besides, my dad would freeze.
John Holmberg
Oh, really?
Brett Vesely
He would not do well. He's great at parties. He's fun. Everything else on the radio. He'd. He's one of those guys go, ah. Wildermuth will hear it. Like, he'll. He's always like, his friends would hear him. I don't. I don't want Wildermuth thinking that you were a twink. And I'm like, that. That would be up to you. He would just. All he'd do is get on the air. And tell me. I'm proud of you. This is great. Really good stuff. I don't want to be on the air. He would freeze. He loses. But he's got some thoughts. I hope. I just invented something for if a smart quantum physicist or a scientist or something just heard my idea of memory exchange. And you can't dive into the whole brain. That's how bad guys would use it. But if it's like, Brett, remember when we met? They're like, yeah, kinda. I'm like, let's go there. And we put the strainers on our heads that are wired together and remember the day that Brett and I met. And his memory be like, that's not what happened. Right. And then you just think, this douchebag's our new morning guy. Right.
Brady
Exactly. Oh, God.
Brett Vesely
And I'd be like, shannon seems nice. I'm not Shannon, asshole. Anyway, that would be great.
Brady
It's good to meet you, Bert.
Brett Vesely
I want to get into Brady's brain.
John Holmberg
Do you really?
Brett Vesely
But it would only. It could only be with the person you're connected to. You can't dive into their memories. You just. And it has to be specific. You have to put it into the machine to say, brady and I shared this experience. You know what I would want to recreate with you in a heartbeat. When you and I spun out on the golf course with that Korean guy we were making fun of. But we had cha. We had the time of our lives and then almost died in a golf cart. And I'd like to know what was going through your mind.
John Holmberg
Pizza.
Brett Vesely
Sushi. I would like to switch up the time that you're gonna give me mouth.
Dick Toledo
To mouth golfing with an Asian guy. It's definitely.
Brett Vesely
I would like to go with Brady. The memory I have with Brady of when we. When he walked me by Fred Goldman and made fun of the gloves section by saying, hey, Fred, wear the gloves. And Kovacs. What about Kovacs? Oh, you need to be. Cuz he doesn't remember that properly at all. He was drunk. Brady doesn't get drunk. And he started making fun of handicapped people to their faces. To their crippled little faces.
Dick Toledo
Did you get physical contact with him to push him out of the way?
Brett Vesely
He reached for his chair. I don't know that he was actually going to grab it. Bar. Yeah, I know where it was.
Brady
He couldn't hear.
Brett Vesely
He could because. No, his. Yeah, because his legs didn't work. That's why I couldn't hear. He reached for the thing like he was going to grab it I don't think that was actually what he was going to do. Out of the way, Kovacs. And he was going to move the guy in the wheelchair by calling him Ron Kovacs from Born on the Fourth of July. And I had to cut him off.
Dick Toledo
Okay, let's go.
Brett Vesely
I'm going to drink a little bit today. Wow. All right, then you're drinking with me and I can put him away. That was scary. To watch somebody turn into the devil. And you would finally see that. You'd be so disappointed in yourself. Come on.
Dick Toledo
Oh, man.
Brett Vesely
That's not what happened all those times Brady's like. You're exaggerating. Take it right back. Oh, my God. He was right. Out of the way, Kovacs. Move that useless spine. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady report. It's 98. It's out of control now. 98? You PD.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary (03-26-25)
Episode Title: Napster Was Just Sold For 200 Mil - TSA Pre Check Study Says Only Saves 7 Mins - 34yo Woman's Puppy Eats 6 Pair Of Underwear - Bret Video Leads To John's Idea Of Memory Swaps
Release Date: March 26, 2025
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Broadcasted on: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Duration: Approximately 37 minutes
Discussion Overview:
The hosts delve into the recent sale of Napster for $207 million, reflecting on its tumultuous history since its launch in 1999. They explore Napster's significant impact on the music industry, its battles with artists like Metallica, and its subsequent acquisitions and rebranding efforts.
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Discussion Overview:
The hosts examine a recent study on TSA PreCheck, questioning its advertised benefits versus actual time savings. They analyze whether the program genuinely enhances the airport security experience or if it's more a facade for commercial gains by airports.
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Discussion Overview:
A listener story surfaces about a 34-year-old woman whose puppy devoured six pairs of her underwear, leading to unexpected veterinary bills. The hosts humorously debate dog behaviors and the peculiarities of pet ownership.
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Discussion Overview:
Bret shares alarming and graphic video content that spurred John Holmberg to brainstorm a fictional technology for swapping memories between individuals. The hosts explore the humorous and ethical implications of such a technology.
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Discussion Overview:
Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter, joke about hand signals, discuss bizarre internet content, and share personal anecdotes, enhancing the episode's entertainment value.
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The episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends humor with topical discussions, ranging from significant tech industry shifts to quirky personal stories. The hosts' chemistry and ability to navigate diverse topics ensure an engaging listen for their audience. Whether dissecting the minimal benefits of TSA PreCheck or laughing over a dog's peculiar eating habits, the show maintains a balance of insightful commentary and lighthearted banter.
Final Notable Quote:
Tune In:
Catch Holmberg's Morning Sickness weekday mornings from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), via the 98KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com for more engaging content and entertainment.