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Holmberg
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Brett
Thank you. Miles to know where Katie and the Hobbs the theme songs Rolling strong Quarter way through.
Holmberg
Doesn't seem like that long. No quarter the way through.
Brett
Blazing through. Baseball starts tomorrow. That's interesting. We're just talking off the air. Brett said, like you've, I don't know why this got to my. You've never tried a cigarette?
Holmberg
No, never interested me. My parents did and I just, just, I don't know, never did anything for.
Brett
Me even around the house, like a, like a, like a cigarette butt. You never lit it up just to see? No, never even did ride it.
Holmberg
Done lots of other things, but that was one thing. I just never, you know, why draw the line there? I, I don't know, it just, I don't know. Just always thought it stunk and I was like, man, whatever, it does.
Brett
But even still, and then we see.
Holmberg
Some of the burnouts in high school and stuff. You're like, oh, cool. I get to look like that.
Brett
See, I always thought it looked cool.
Holmberg
Yeah, I think it did like in the 70s and stuff like that when everybody was lighting up. But yeah, it never did anything for me.
Dan
Yeah, my mom was smoking.
Brett
My dad smoke.
Dan
I, I, I try. I picked up a did you a cigarette one time and tried it.
Brett
Didn't like it.
Dan
I did. I got sick on a cigar.
Brett
I've tried cigars. I don't like that.
Holmberg
But okay, on the flip side, I have, I'll smoke a cigar. Not regularly, but if somebody hands them out, I, I'll do it. Yeah, I know.
Brett
But I just never, I've never, I don't think I've ever known anybody who hasn't even given it like a curiosity.
Holmberg
But a cigar I will.
Brett
Or a peer pressure hit. No, I Remember, for a little bit, Kurt and I, my buddy Kurt, were like, we'll roll up a pack in our arm or we'll try this. We're gonna try to. And because we were Marlon Brando, we were being funny about it. But at the same time, it's like, what if this works? Like, what if we get, like a cool image out of this? And it wasn't like we were total dorks, but we were kind of like, let's. Let's create a new Persona. Like, what do you want to do? I'm gonna smoke. I'm like, me too. And we did. We were terrible at it. We didn't do it regularly. We just did it when we were out together, like, and threw it in there. I would throw darts every once in a while. Why not? How you doing? How you doing? It gives you something to do. It just was. Kept me crazy. It does you. Oh, we were totally different human beings. Hilarious. More like the. The funny factor. Went through the moon because we knew what we were up to. And you'd hang out with the girls who smoked at, you know, the restaurant, some of Tony Romas. And then the hot girls would smoke in the back and go back and smoke with them. You smoke? Yeah, Smoke, Smoke. Of course I do. It's what all the cool people do. Got allergies right now, though, so each time I inhale, it hurts.
Holmberg
But I tell you what, all the jerks I would, like, smoke at work and stuff like that, I'm going. Taking a break with them. Oh, smoke break.
Brett
Cool.
Holmberg
I'm going out too.
Brett
Smoke breakfast.
Holmberg
Screw that.
Brett
But it's just weird. I never met anybody who's never even tried a cigarette. You don't have any curiosity. I know you. It wouldn't like, be like an addictive thing, but like, you've never even gone. Let's just taste this for the sake of it.
Holmberg
No.
Brett
And you'll drink sambuca.
Holmberg
Sambuca, yeah. I'll smoke a cigar.
Brett
Are so much.
Holmberg
No problem there either. I just.
Brett
Cigarettes. I don't know why that happened. Yeah, that's strange.
Holmberg
Yeah.
Dan
Smoked weed.
Brett
Yeah.
Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
Smoked weed.
Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Brett
Yeah. And it's not like you're against. You just don't want to smoke cigarettes.
Holmberg
Don't give me a. Don't give me a Marlboro Red.
Brett
It's just out.
Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
And no chance. Not.
Holmberg
I went 50 something years now without it.
Brett
That's my point. Give it a run. Give it one try. What if you love it, why try the cigar then?
Holmberg
I don't know. I. I got no. I got no explanation. I know it's hypocritical, but I'm just kind of like. I was like, yeah, I'll try that.
Dan
You're not inhaling the cigar necessarily.
Brett
Why not? You get a nice buzz off that. Oh, it's nice. You overdo it, you'll throw up all over the place. You're gonna nail a cigar. Oh, yeah. It gives you a nice little.
Holmberg
You're not a cigar guy.
Brett
You get bubbly. I don't like. It's too phallic. It's like, big.
Holmberg
Well, I'm not. You know. You smoke a Grouchos or anything like that?
Brett
Oh, yeah. Well, I'm not smoking Swisher. Sweets are too gay. And the real cigars, like, dudes with your lips, have to be so, like, over the, like. Oh, this is kind of like prison.
Holmberg
I think something new swag over at the other station.
Brett
I never. Yeah, yeah. They should give away cigars at kdkb. They'll be number one for me. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. I just never. I like cigars. Always were gay to me. Women. Women that smoke them end up stinking cigars. Yeah. I don't like that. Although it's kind of funny, like, to see a woman with a cigar in her mouth, but it is. It just looks gross. And then it's usually a bunch of dudes in a weird wooden room. It's so gay.
Dan
Sitting around talking.
Brett
Yeah. Like, cigarettes are for everybody. And I don't smoke, but it's like, I get it. And it's social. It's like. It's like cocktails, cigars are. You gentlemen want to retire to a room where there's absolutely no chance of.
Dan
Women ever showing up on the golf course? A lot of guys will do that.
Brett
Sure. It gets a little gay.
Dan
Then the dude that has the. That cherry vanilla, like, the pipe smoke.
Brett
Pipes are.
Dan
Now they have them in the cigars.
Brett
That's gay, too. I just don't like. Hey, I'm hanging around all these boys, golfing and stuff. You know what? I need to suck on something big and brown. I'm gonna do that right now in front of you. I always thought cigars were a little bit gay. It's just too. Too much dude energy with no chance of, like, any sort of. Like. It's just guys hanging out with other guys and sucking stuff. That's, to me, right there. I think it just defined why I won't. I've had cigars. I threw up in a sink, and.
Dan
I was like in sixth grade.
Brett
Mine, mine was cigar in sixth grade.
Dan
Yeah. Well, New Year's and my dad was over there and he said, you want to try? You know, we were saying, we want to do a cigar. I want to do.
Brett
All right, here you go.
Dan
He knew.
Brett
Yeah, he gets you.
Dan
Well, hour later you're just green.
Holmberg
That's like some people drinking too. Because our buddy Chris is the same way. He's like, I tried a beer one time when I was 15, I never liked it. I never went back. It's weird. He's older than both of us now. It still isn't.
Brett
I don't know. Yeah. I don't think I've ever met anybody who hasn't at least just done it once. Not one puff off a cigarette. Gosh, that's weird. I'd like to watch you smoke. I mean, I just.
Holmberg
But then you make out what a broad is smoking.
Brett
Some of them terrible. Some of them never had a stink.
Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
Like a girl. That girl I dated for two years smoked and never once did she smell. It was amazing.
Holmberg
She just have a pocket or what?
Brett
No, no, you couldn't have. I swear. She was one of those that was like, there is. Does not stick to her. Her car, horrible. Her never. It was so strange. I like did not have it. My mom smoked and didn't smell like smoke, like at all. But the cigarettes in the car were murder. But she.
Holmberg
That is the worst.
Brett
Never smelled like cigarettes.
Dan
Your mom, the house never smelled like smoke. But in the car.
Brett
Yeah, the car was brutal.
Holmberg
My cousin in Chicago, like, you know, we'll go to the bar or something and afterwards she's like, you need to ride home. Like, no, I'll not get over that thing. It's a cancer. I'm gonna catch cancer just getting in the car.
Brett
Nice stinky ashtray.
Holmberg
Because you know, especially there in the winter time, you got the windows up the whole time. It's.
Dan
But man, you can, you know, you go into an apartment, a condo, a house.
Brett
Oh yeah. You can tell when somebody smells.
Holmberg
Well, even like the, the hotels in Vegas back in the day.
Brett
Oh, I've had to switch rooms.
Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
Because I couldn't breathe. But Yeah, I. That's 50 year old rooms at the Dunes. Like, I can't be in here. Strange. Interesting.
Holmberg
Brett Cortez still smells like it.
Brett
Oh yeah. That's part of the charm now. I've never heard anybody say that. That They've never actually even tried it.
Holmberg
Never tried it.
Brett
Four foot bong. No, never hit a bong.
Holmberg
That's a Larry thing.
Brett
It is a Larry thing. It'll try to kill you.
Holmberg
I saw him one time, like, I think. I think he had, like a six footer or something.
Brett
Oh, yeah.
Holmberg
He had to stand on the couch.
Brett
I had one in his garage that nearly killed me. And is that what got you off of it? It's in the hospital. I never did it in the first place, Larry. It was bad. And the garage was so full of smoke that you didn't even have to be smoking it. And you started getting sick and high from it. It was. The place was on fire.
Holmberg
Well, and Larry, he had that. From what I understand, he. He was. That he had that chronic stuff, like, the good stuff.
Brett
Oh, I was like, the first time when he's like, this is called Keith. And I didn't know what that was. He's sprinkling magic powder over. I didn't know what was going on.
Dan
There's some guys in college that had a six footer and they wrote on it, you know, at the Towering Inferno, but they forgot the one end. And towering in faro.
Brett
Well, it works. Yeah. Keefe is when you grind up the weed, and then it turns into this powder version that's almost all thc and then you sprinkle it over what you're gonna smoke. I learned it that day. It scared me to death. And I'm like, oh, okay. I didn't. At the time, I didn't even know what I was doing. I'm like, this will be, like, my first try. And Larry introduces me to, you know, it's like, hey, I think I'm interested in running. And he's like, all right, here's Usain Bolt. Run next to him for a minute. I'm like, I don't know if that's a great idea. So I get in there with a professional. I think I like boxing. Oh, let me introduce you to Manny Pacquiao. You can get in the ring with him. Like, I don't know anything about this. So. So I just know where the gloves go, and that's it. And then Larry tried to kill me. It was terrible. Hated it, but, yeah, I tried, but I was in there. Gave her. Gave it a rip. That's crazy. All right, well, good for Brett. Peer pressure, none. But that cigar thing is kind of. This guy says, I smoke two cigars a day. And I think the lounge is. The lounge thing is a bit poorly. I have my own lounge in my house, and it's a game room, movie room. But do you retire to it with dudes? Because that's like there's one over on 44th Street. And Camelback, you walk by there, bunch of closeted gays. That's all I see. I'm like, oh, you won't tell your wives what you really want to do? Hang out in a room that smells funny and suck big brown things with not a nary a woman in sight or a chance of like a gaggle of chicks to come in. It is. And comfortable leather chairs. Like everything in there just shouts, Relax. Put this in your butt. Everything in there is gay. Ever. But never tried a cigarette. That got me. All right, it's time for the morning sickness to put out a psa. Stop it with the Teslas. Two times in the last week I've had to be stopped for a place that had a threat. Cuz there were people with a lot of Teslas. And you go in and they're doing the mirror under the car. One was at the Suns game they're doing mirror bombs for. And I'm like, come on, are we getting this dumb Tesla's didn't do anything to you. You can hate Elon Musk all you want, but you're just mucking it up for the rest of us. Stop it. You don't like what's going on, that's fine. Pick it. Walk around. Make a sign. Blowing stuff up and making it harder for me to get into a parking garage is just going to make me want you dead. That's all. The Tesla explosions aren't accomplishing anything at all. And it's getting to the point like at the sun's game, I'm walking by the the garage door thing or the parking garage entrance and there's two dudes with those. You see him in like Iraq and movies when they're. Yeah. Doing the bomb sweeps underneath. And I'm like, what's this? And he goes, tesla threats. And I'm like, at the Suns game? Really? Yeah. Can't take any chances that somebody's not gonna come in here and try that. Holmberg's morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible. UPD Holmberg's morning sickness. Shouldn't we. Why would just a Tesla be the thing then?
Holmberg
Ace Rothstein made it through in the end of the movie.
Brett
So Elon's not there. I know, I get why they're doing it, but he's not. Look, probably the person driving the Tesla is more like you than Elon. He wants to save the environment. He's into the electric thing. He's probably a little hoity toity about like being first on his block to be a guy saving the planet. He's probably a hippie. Chances are he's probably got a little hippie juice in him. You want to blow his car up? Stop it.
Holmberg
It's stupid. You're not proving it. It's like Elon already got his money for that car, right? Screwing up somebody else's life.
Brett
Yes. And so then the next argument is we'll just blow up Tesla dealerships. There's people in there working too. Probably have the same thing in mind you had in mind. I'd like the planet to be now all of a sudden you don't like anything, so now the Tesla's got to blow up. Doesn't make sense. Too many. I don't normally care until it affects me. That's my rule in life. It's like, well, whatever's going on is going on until it gets to me. Then I will just observe. But it started to creep in there and then the next thing you know. I don't want to watching bomb sniffing mirror or dogs and mirrors under cars. Just try to go to the Sons and Bucks game. Are you crazy? The valet guys weren't doing it. The valet guys weren't searching under the cars. Just the ones parking in the parking garage in the arena. Come on. If you're a person who thinks that that's a good idea, you're politically brainwashed just as much as the people you hate. You're on the same exact spectrum as them. It's just the polar opposite end. It's just you guys are both on crazy. Crazy and you. I hate them so much that I'm gonna be as crazy as they are to match it. It's like that's not better have a better plan than blowing things up. Idiot. I don't particularly like the body style of a Tesla. That's the one thing. Like, they're fast. The fastest thing I've ever been in by far. It's the fastest car I've ever been in. Blowing those up doesn't add up to me. So to all you Tesla owners, you better get one of those mirrors because evidently they're. They're worried about it at, you know, concerts and arena stuff. And it's a pain in the ass.
Holmberg
You're gonna clogs everything.
Brett
Yeah, it clogs up everything. So quit it. That's gotta happen like next to immediately. Here's another thing. I can't stand adults. Stop. You do this, Brady. I listened to a guy say this to somebody the other day. He goes Woof. I'm pushed. I think I'm gonna take myself a little nappy to nap nap today. And I'm like, can't adults just say nap? I'm gonna take a nappy pappy. Can you say nappy pappy? Why can't I'm gonna take a nappy Nappers like, can't you just say nap? Why does it have to be so adorable? A man telling another man, I'm tired, take myself a napity. Nap Nap. Like, no, just say nap. Now I have to be an adorable infant in a onesie with a breakaway back end. Just say the word nap. Then I thought of you because you said nappy pappy. Like, what's wrong with you? Just, I need a nap.
Dan
I don't say that too often. Mostly appy pappy.
Brett
You call appetizers appy Pappy's? Well, that makes sense to me because you humanize the lovemaking you're about to. Like that's sexual to you. So I understand making giving it a pet name when it's your true love, which is, you know, the thing that comes before the meal, the food. And when you say that, Brady means it. It's the thing that comes before the meal. It's the foreplay. It's food foreplay.
Dan
Lappy pappy.
Brett
But I've heard you say nappy pappy and you're not alone. Adults just can't say, I need a nap. Are you gonna take a nap? Because people ask me that all the time with my new schedule. And I stay up all night and I go to the show and this is the last thing I do in my cycle, and then I go home and go to bed. So you get a nappy pappy or a. Do you get a napple papal? Do you have a nabappity nip nap? What is wrong with you? Just ask me. Do you take a nap? Do you sleep in the daytime? Yeah, I do. Like a baby. Like, who needs nappies? No, I don't need nappies. Here's another thing. Why can't the handsome spokesman for Liberty Mutual say liberty? Why is that the ad campaign? Why is he trying to convince other people it's called Biberty Mutual? Why. Why can't that be corrected?
Dan
Liberty Biberty.
Brett
No, it's not Liberty Biberty anymore. He sits on a bench and somebody says, liberty Mutual. And he goes, it's actually pronounced bibberdy. And I'm like, no, it's not. Why are you doing this to your product? It's Biberty. He Argues with a baby for five minutes, it's driving me insane. I can't wait for AI to take over. And I feel the most sorry right now for liberals with Teslas because a couple years ago that was awesome for them and now they're running at risk of their own people blowing them to bits because it doesn't make sense. Something's very broken. I have two friends with Teslas. One said he wishes his would blow up because they have, well, they have no value after you buy. The one thing about Teslas is after a year or two, it's like having a Hewlett Packard in your garage. It's like that's.
Dan
Yeah, not only that, just most of the electric cars.
Brett
Well, it's just the whole thing is like the technology advanced. I thought you could upgrade the technology as it goes. That was one of the selling points. But there's a certain point you can't. I was riding with my buddy Jim, who's got a Tesla on our way back from. I think we were at a son's game and he was driving back and we're in the Tesla and I said, it doesn't like a Waymo. It goes, oh, Waymo's a thousand times more advanced than the Tesla that he has. He is one of the first couple of years ones. And he said, watch this. And he put it on auto drive. And that was the most herky jerky thing I've ever been in, in my life. It didn't. It would like jam on the brakes if it couldn't see the lines. When it would. When a car was in front of it at a stoplight, it would, it felt like it was not going to stop and then it just screeching halt. And I'm like, I hate this. He goes, I don't even use it anymore. It's enough to make you sick. And I'm like, on freeways it goes, but if something stops in front of it, it's last second material. And it doesn't read red lights or green lights like a Waymo does. So that technology is low and then their value is zero. But for the most part, the people that, you know, really wanted one initially were like, I'm saving the planet. And now the same saving the planet. People are trying to blow them up. I don't get it. I don't get blowing things up to go. Now we've got a better place.
Dan
We'll show them.
Brett
We'll show them. You know how you'd have to, you'd have to blow all of them up. And you know what you're doing? You're only increasing your own insurance rates. With each car you explode. Somebody has to go, well, that. Especially on car lots. Well, we gotta cover that nut. And so who doesn't? Insurance companies never look at that as a wash. They're like, oh, more stuff to replace. Well, everyone's gonna pay an extra penny now.
Dan
The fact that they got it out there, whoever started, you know, you just do a couple. But now that it's out there, they know that could potentially cut in on the sales. Like, who's going to go out, want to buy a new test?
Brett
Nobody. But that's the point. The people that wanted them in droves anyway are the ones that want to blow them up now. You know, they're blowing up and they're shooting attacks. It just doesn't make any sense to me. But again, that goes back to what we were talking about before, this whole simulation thing. The AI stuff I saw. Well, Jay Ackerman up at Tactical Black told me about a video, and I searched out some stuff, and I just saw the article. It's. Steve Wozniak basically apologized years ago for bringing AI to the party. He's like. And then the guy sitting next to him said, we have to always have the magic death pill, because it's now aware of itself, and it's aware of how to correct its own errors. It's aware of fixing its own viruses. It's aware of, like, you know, it's got, like, an immune system. And so we always have to have something. It cannot. We have to stay ahead of it. And I'm like, oh, that's a great idea. And then the last line, he says, and currently, we have nothing. So they hadn't. They're thinking about it now.
Holmberg
And you won't.
Brett
You can't now because you've given it all the information. There's, like, currently just unplugging. It won't work. There was a thing I watched this is a while ago, where the AI computers were in a room solving something, and the people were talking to it. And they got fed up with the people and created their own language in, like, three seconds and started to communicate with stuff we can't figure out. And then they came back. We figured it out. Oh, yeah. They just coded like, what are they doing here? All they're going to do is mess this up, get them out. What can we do to make it so humans won't be able to follow what we're doing so we can get this done faster and they just went into a code and just kind of just. It's amazing.
Holmberg
Yeah, Talk amongst yourselves.
Brett
Yeah, yeah. Basically the scientists are like, oh, they've broken into a language only the two of them can understand. And now they're teaching it to the other ones. And they don't have to teach it. It's the Matrix. They plugged it in. Like what we were talking about. We've been told about AI replicants, Blade Runner.
Holmberg
Oh yeah.
Brett
We've been talking about this for years and we're not even surprised by it. When you sat in, if you remember going to the movie the Matrix, nobody came out of that and went, what in the world was that? That doesn't make any sense. We're plugged into some. What in the world. We all were like, yeah, that seems feasible. That's a reasonable idea. There was a concept that made you.
Dan
Wonder, are we in?
Brett
Right. Because it wasn't so far fetched to think, wow, that that's possible. And it makes sense. And we were thinking it was pretty cool to just, I need to know karate. And then they just put it in the back of your head and you get. And you're doing karate.
Dan
Downloaded.
Brett
But none of it was actually real. But it didn't. Like, even dumb people watched that and said, yeah, it makes total sense to me. They plug it in, you're just a machine. And then the whole thing's a simulation that's not actually occurring in humanity. Those are the pods. I'm like, does this. Do you realize how this should have made us all confused, but it made us comfortable. Yeah, I've thought of this. This is the thing we've been told about replicants. We've been told about them for a long time to where we're not even surprised they exist. It's what movies and media have always done, is introduce you to the crazy. And then when it actually happens, you're like, oh, I've been seeing this forever. Like, Neil Degrasse Tyson had that podcast the other day and I think I was talking about this with you guys. You bring a guy back from 1995 or your grandpa and put him right here in today. And would he be worried about everything? No, he would recognize it all. He would know how to work it right away. But he'd look at the phone and go, oh, from Star Trek. And he'd look at this. Oh, that's from the Jetsons. Like all the stuff that from 1995. You're like, oh, yeah, I remember seeing, oh, we've got them now. Like, we Were talking about these things a long time ago. This is an AI replicant. Oh, like in 2001. Yeah, we invented it.
Dan
Hal.
Brett
Yeah, Hal. He's. He's. It's real now. Things that are horrible. Morning sickness. No one.
Dan
That's why we need the time machine. To eventually bring some back to. To take out Skynet.
Brett
Well, time machines are. That's not going to happen. Because if it's going to happen, it can't. If it. If it had happened, it would already be here. Time machine breaks time. So no matter when it is invented. Was invented. It will always exist.
Holmberg
Box full of pinball parts. You'll get some plutonium. You're fine, you know, don't worry about it.
Brett
So you just went Unabomber on me right there. Okay, so Brett's answer is just blow.
Holmberg
Up back to the future.
Brett
That's how he got it.
Holmberg
That's how he got his parts from the Libyans.
Brett
It's true. The Libyans had the plutonium and some pinball. Yeah, it's not a good thing. I don't think you should suggest that again, although feasible. You can't. You can't just blow up a either. Yeah, it's crazy. Time machines make sense to us. Because of our nostalgic brains, we go back and redo stuff. So it would be like. If only I could. That makes sense. But time machine as an invention. I'll argue with anybody that that'll never. If it has been invented, we would know about it. Jesus would have known about it. Time machines show up whenever. Only if they can only go back if they can't go forward. But that would even still, it messes up everything. Which again, it doesn't take much to explain the time space continuum to people. And dumb people like me got that right away. Oh yeah. If you screw that up, then the butterfly effect, it's like, oh yeah, you messed that up a little.
Dan
Great movie.
Brett
Oh, it's so good. Nobody explained it better than Ashton Tutor. We were on the butterfly train. Stop yelling. I'm so glad his friend raped people and that he stood by his side so we never have to hear from him again. Danny Masterson is the second worst person in that whole ordeal because we now we don't have any more Ashton Kutcher for supporting a rapist. And I'm so grateful to Danny for taking that, you know, bearing that cross so we didn't get any more Ashton Kutcher. I. I hope that was intentional. I hope Danny Masterson laid in bed and said, I'm gonna rape Some people. I'm going to ask Ashton to be on my side. And I'm going to rid the society of Ashton Kutcher.
Dan
I need you, bro.
Brett
Yeah, I need you right now. I got it. I'm on your side. Okay, great. Thanks. Could you write a letter for me? And ruin your career? You bet. Thanks for yelling every word you've ever said. Thank you very much.
Holmberg
Donovan brings up, those dumb enough to bomb a Tesla don't pay insurance anyway.
Brett
You think that's true? They're uninsured Tesla bombers. Okay. Anyway, yeah, I just. That simulation thing has always been to me again, I'm fascinated by that conversation and the Degrasse Tyson thing because they're like. They would be. Someone from 1995 would not be clueless if you just erased them and brought them to today. They would recognize all the stuff we've got now. Keep in mind there'd be no Internet for them. Fledgling at best is what they maybe had a concept of it showing up. They didn't know what it was going to be. They had no idea what cell phones were, iPhones everybody walking around with. But all the stuff that they'd seen up till that point had told them, don't be afraid of it.
Dan
Wonder if it was 10, you know, 85, 10 years earlier.
Brett
Still had Star Trek.
Dan
Pretty good chunk.
Brett
Still had all the stuff that you like. All those movies. Hal had already been, you know, Blade.
Holmberg
Runner was already out.
Brett
Blade Runner had already come out. I mean we had been told by the media and Hollywood and all this other stuff, don't worry about it. Star Trek was the 60s. Little handheld devices. You can communicate non stop with everybody and then hit another button and it does something else and hit another button. It's like, oh, those are like the tricorder. Yeah, right. Brady know. See, he could have disappeared 40 years ago and shown up again and go, oh yeah. Oh, you got the Star Trek things now. The only thing we really don't have is the Jetsons flying cars and stuff. But the Jetsons even had AI Rosie. Rosie was floating around inside there doing all the work. And she was. She'd have a wisecrack now and again. You could talk with her. And I'm like, we'll get used to that because eventually we're gonna have a bucket of bolts in the house doing a lot of stuff for us as all weed thing.
Holmberg
Every sci fi was Hanna Barbera. Our cartoons are all weed. What do you think about? Think about Scooby Doo and Rosie the Robot flying around.
Brett
It's all but it's happening.
Holmberg
Weed experiments in the 60s.
Brett
But those dudes saw it and they brought it to us. And none of us said, this is.
Holmberg
Crazy, because everybody's on weed, Austin Acid and everything. Yeah, there you go.
Brett
Not everybody was on weed and.
Holmberg
Or acid or coke or whatever.
Brett
I wasn't. I watched it and I understood it. Like, that's cool. I want that years later.
Holmberg
But you didn't create it.
Brett
Microwaves. The Jetsons had food that could get cooked real fast. Space cars, they didn't have them. They didn't have any of that. Rosie would stuff something in there and program it and put them, and it would come out 20 years later. Microwaves. Oh, yeah, we saw this on the Jetsons. Everything we've seen.
Dan
Ted Amana was watching.
Brett
I don't know if the inventor got the idea, but the idea had already been presented through. Every single. Every single sci fi movie that's ever been invented has a thing where you walk into a room and tell the room what you want and it happens. Lights. We've got that now.
Dan
Got the clapper.
Brett
That's why we're not ever, like. That's why we're not ever amazed at anything anymore. We've seen it.
Dan
We've seen them. People. You know when you go into those.
Brett
Smart houses, that's what I'm saying. Like, we've seen it all. You walk in, you're like, this isn't like you should be marveling at FaceTime. FaceTime was a thing. We scrambled the phones in the Jetsons. Now there it is. Finally, we've got it. So everything we've been expecting.
Holmberg
Dick Tracy with his watch.
Brett
Tracy had a watch.
Dan
You could talk.
Brett
I'm like, that would be those 40s, right? We all knew eventually. And so we were never amazed when it happened. We're not even. Look. They basically cured aids. And we didn't even have a celebration, didn't even have an announcement. It's like, it's still there, but don't worry about it was the scourge of American society. We're horrified by it. Every time you'd talked to an adult when you were my age, when AIDS was raging and I was a teenager or younger, and everybody be like, oh, AIDS this, AIDS that. I'm like, nah, don't worry about it. You don't worry about it constantly. You watch porn. They had the rubbers on. Even when you were fantasizing back on VHS porn, you had to remember they're trying not to get aids, that guys would wear rubbers. It's the Last thing you want in a fantasy. Don't forget to keep that AIDS free in my fantasy, you know, or you never imagine in a fantasy rolling on a rubber. But that's what happened in the 90s with our porn. And then they remember when they rip it off. That was my favorite part of those. Those guys would be going, ah. And then they struggle to rip it off.
Holmberg
Nowadays we got fisting and rosebuds.
Brett
They never showed us that on the Jetsons. I don't know if that's an advancement in technology, Brett, but the simulation certainly is broken. But all I'm saying is, stop blowing up Teslas. You're mucking up my parking garage. And when it starts affecting my parking, parking's already a pain in the ass. What are you doing? Disruption, bro. Stop it.
Holmberg
And that's just in Phoenix. Think about, like, New York, L.A. chicago. The parking night that is.
Dan
Some lady got taken out the other day. She was holding a parking spot for the family member that was late.
Brett
Yeah.
Dan
And this other person came in like, I'm parking there.
Brett
Can't do it.
Dan
Ran her over.
Brett
Well, no, I will say this.
Dan
He did. I mean, the person did.
Brett
She ran herself over. If you don't move when a car is pulling in.
Dan
Exactly.
Brett
That's your fault.
Dan
Get out of the way.
Brett
Look, if you're going to go Tiananmen Square on that parking spot now, the guy shouldn't have gassed it, but she should have moved. Because I know in parking charged, he's not going too fast. But if you're just standing in a parking spot and a guy's like, I want this knife in a gun fight, you better step away.
Holmberg
And what do you think of holding parking spots like that?
Brett
You can't do it.
Holmberg
That's what I say.
Brett
No.
Holmberg
Gotta have the car there.
Brett
Yeah. The car is the essential part of a parking spot, not a person. Otherwise, you'd hire people to do it.
Dan
Yeah, but you're gonna.
Brett
It would be a job. Like, we get homeless people, stand off.
Dan
Interesting.
Brett
No, it's not.
Holmberg
What's that?
Brett
You lose, you cannot stand.
Dan
I've never had it where I'm like, oh, well, no, there's no car there. I'm pulling in.
Brett
And that's a man.
Dan
Get out of the way.
Holmberg
An unwritten rule, though. I mean, if you don't have the car there, you can't park.
Brett
And especially if you recognize there's a spot and like, stop, honey, get out. I'm gonna go around again and come back. Nope, you missed it. If somebody else is behind you, you get it? That's parking protocol. You cannot stand in a parking spot and hold it. Jackass. And so that lady who got run over could have moved and then just yelled and gone. You're an idiot. It's like you don't have a car. These aren't for standing. That's why you're not allowed to walk through the drive through. You go inside for that. If you're wandering on the drive through, like, get out of here. You're gonna get A, you're gonna get run over, and B, we don't do this.
Holmberg
Yeah, we used to get yelled at a jack in the box on the way to junior high trying to walk, ride our bikes in there. And then the drive thru.
Brett
Get out. Yeah, that's the rule. You're right. Parking spot has got. You have got to have a motorized vehicle to. To hold. The only thing that holds a parking spot is a car.
Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
Period. End of story. And maybe you'll get a decent human being that goes by and go, okay, you're holding it. But you might get the jackass. If the jackass comes in and he has a car and it's available to that spot before yours, you have to move. Yep, you lose.
Holmberg
As ludicrous would say, move, bitch. Get out of the way.
Brett
Get out the way. I'm holding this for my husband. I don't see him or a car. He's behind you. Second place is for losers. Get in there. I was looking for a car, a parking spot, just like you were, and you missed it. Your chance was before your husband made you stand here. Well, I'm not moving. This is 2 tons of metal, ma'am, with an engine in it. Can't push me around. Okay.
Holmberg
Watch.
Brett
Go. I won't move for parking. Get back in the car.
Dan
The rage you want is where the people are both facing the parking spot. And the one person has been signaling. Signaling, you know, but that other person goes in there in front.
Brett
Well, that's just. That's rude.
Holmberg
That's an.
Brett
That's. I know, but doesn't make sense to me, man. A lot going on out there right now. There's a lot. And you're making it harder on cops, you're making it harder on security guards. You're making it harder on dudes who just want to take your ticket and put you in a parking garage. And now they got to break out that Iraqi bomb sweeping equipment so you can go enjoy the suns and bucks.
Holmberg
That's what Batman's saying. He goes, it's creating a lot More work for us. Because you get these people wiping their asses on the Teslas and keying them and blowing them up. Oh yeah, there's videos of that dude's going down there, right? Cracking right. Right across the door handle.
Dan
Yeah.
Holmberg
Oh, I'll find the video.
Brett
They say things that are horrib Holmberg's morning sickness.
Holmberg
Somebody sent it.
Brett
All right, you know what? That's the most reasonable one. Do that. That's not gonna mess on the Tesla. Wipe your ass on the Tesla.
Dan
There you go.
Brett
You've got it. Here, look, I'll compromise with the lunatics. A few idiots have to do something to Teslas. That's what you have to do. Throw your feces at it. Okay, can we go with that? It's just a cleanup for the owner. He's like, ah, knock this again and I understand Tesla owner. That's not fair.
Dan
You handle again.
Brett
But look, I'm trying to stop him from bombing your car. What would you rather have your car extra explode, screw up parking forever, or you got poop all over the wear gloves when you drive your Tesla for a little while. This will fade. This will. This will definitely go away. But come on. If you're people who hate Tesla and you're. And you're loud about it, think to yourself out loud right now, this is a poop one.
Holmberg
Just reaching down the crack and wiping it down.
Brett
Dude. Oh, it's a big. Exactly what you'd picture. It's a fat guy with his hand in his ass in broad daylight. And he's just touching Tesla's with his. Put it all over the door. Jeez. How much is his fourth dip down into his anus? Okay, but that. Fine. So you got comic book guy rubbing feces on your Tesla. It sucks. But at least there's no need for Iraqi bomb mirrors when I'm trying to go see the Suns and Celtics later tonight. That's enough of that. So can we agree, Tesla owners? I know this is no good for you, but you're in the mix right now. Can we compromise to the middle?
Dan
Buy swipes.
Brett
Yeah. Get some handy shammies. Yeah. A couple little shamwows and a bottle of water with some soap in it. Just for this reason.
Holmberg
Simple green, you know, good.
Brett
Always, always spray down your little handle. That's a good thing about the Tesla is the handle sinks in. Yeah. So you can't really be fooled if it shoots out. Oh yeah.
Dan
Just, you know, gonna be on your glass.
Brett
You're gonna have to treat your Tesla like we all did during COVID Constantly sanitized before you touch it. Open doors with napkins in your hands. And you're gonna have to bear the brunt of this for a little while while the loopies run around and damage Teslas. But let's just do it with our own. How about that? Can we just agree, Tesla owners, you eat that. Literally kind of eating right now. And nut bags. You'll stop bombing things or lighting stuff on fire and you'll just poop on it. On stuff the stink palm to the car.
Holmberg
Stop wiping your ass with your hand. To you, pig.
Brett
Well, I mean, you're not stopping that. That's why I don't eat potlucks, beast.
Dan
They'll just have an added little feature on there. Step away from the car. Step away from the car.
Brett
Well, you know the thing about Tesla is they record 360 degrees.
Holmberg
Yeah, that's how that video came out.
Brett
You're gonna get caught.
Dan
Idiots.
Brett
I'll never understand it. I'll never get people. But. And again, I don't need potlucks because I don't know who in the office is a Tesla lunatic and may have been wiping their human all over a Tesla before work that day. And then brought a seven layer dip. And I don't know who's reaching.
Dan
Tesla owners are getting snacks given to them every day.
Brett
Oh yeah.
Dan
Made something for you, Bob.
Brett
Look, if you. Yeah, if you. And if. And if any. First off, first rule is call me Bob. I automatically assume that you're poisoning me. Nobody says if you call me Bubble, we're in trouble. Tesla owners don't eat any homemade food from anyone right now. I saw your new Tesla, Dave. Yeah. You like it? I do. So much. So I made you some Christmas wreaths in March. Thanks.
Holmberg
Har's gonna come in with rubber gloves on now. Every time he gets into his car.
Brett
Har should. And not because of the Tesla. He's a salesman. He screwed somebody over. The. It's not cause of his car. There's a reason Hard's losing his hair the way he is. He's. He's stressed out. He's stressed and waiting for that guy he screwed over to come get him. There's for sure. That's one of our sales guys who's been molting for a while. He refuses to shave it, but it just looks stressed. He just looks stressed out. And as a salesperson, I would be too. When you over just about everybody you've ever met, through life, as a career, your hair falls out. I'm not wrong. Radio salespeople That's. That's their job. I mean, it's a good product. And then they always add something at the end that makes you go, oh, boy, that their hair's gonna fall out. You have a guy who's molting, comes into your office, goes, hey, who handles advertising around here? Nobody. We don't advertise. Get out. Get the out. He's molting already because he's got four or five clients that are breathing down his neck there. Yeah, they don't rub the poop on the Tesla. They just find him and rub it all over him. Radio sales people, I don't know how they do it. They seem very nice, but I did.
Dan
My 10 years of service.
Brett
I know. And then you realized your hair fell out. Somebody's gonna kill me if I keep this up. And you got to get to know the radio people. Talk to me and Brady about it. Those sales people you meet, the people in charge of sales, they make the salespeople even crazier. It's that whole give an inch society. TV sales. Worse. Radio sale at least has a product. TV sale. They charge top dollar and all that. Yeah, sales in general, especially molting salespeople. You see a woman who's molting and in sales, you can't imagine the types of screwovers she's done in her life. Hey, my sales lady's a little bit bald. Oh, boy, you'll get some sweet packages. Oh, you're gonna get a lot of promises, that's for sure. You're probably not gonna hear from her for a while. Who's your sales lady over there at Katie KB? I don't know. She looks like Sinead O'Connor, though. Trust me. Brett, what do you got on the big board of Musical Treats?
Holmberg
All right. Wake up. Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. You know, if your Tesla's in the shop, well, go get yourself a bike. They're going to take care of you. Bikes for all types of people. Doesn't matter if you want to hit the mountains. You want to just ride the canals or just cruise around. BMX mountain bikes, beach cruisers, you name it. They got it at two locations. Over there on the brand new location on McDowell and Power Road, or over at the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern.
Brett
I do. I got three emails in a row thanking me for the Liberty Biberty thing. I don't get it. But you know what it does do? It drives you nuts enough to go, why can't he say Liberty Mutual? Why can this handsome spokesperson and correct Other people to say it's biberty. It drives me insane. I can't see it. Second I see him sitting on that bench. The one I liked was the dude who built the wax figure of himself. Got hit, and then it started to melt. That made me laugh. I enjoyed that. And I don't even know what that concept was. The handsome guy that calls it.
Dan
Well, the biberty was a setup.
Brett
No, I understood that. But why can't he say it? Why is he now correct?
Dan
Because he was on the commercial before that.
Brett
No, I know. But why can't he say biberty? But he says every other word, and.
Dan
Then all he is is handsome.
Brett
But then he. I get it. But all his other words are fine. It's a. It's a simple correction. He tells other people when they say Liberty Mutual, they're wrong. What's wrong with him? It's actually pronounced biberty. And no, it's not. This dude needs to be drowned immediately.
Dan
He thinks he can correct the baby.
Brett
Right, Brady? But he's not. I understand you struggle with words, too, but you never once go, no, it's actually pronounced Vietnamese. Like we would tell you, you're an idiot. Stop talking. I don't want to talk to him anymore. I don't get it. His Ls, it's like an Asian guy. Ls and Rs get confused. You give it to them. That's their second language. This guy's completely. And somebody in a room said, this is a great concept. That the only word he can't say right happens to be liberty. And it doesn't even make sense because L's and V's never get confused. Oh, it pisses me off. It's the things I deal with. A life well lived. When that's where you're at. He's like, I can't deal with this.
Holmberg
Maybe it was a molting salesman that came up with that idea.
Brett
Guaranteed that the molting salesman had the most clients and stuff. And his final idea was like, well, Dave wants the biberty thing to be one of the commercials. So just appease him, because he's got a lot of good clients. Second those clients walk away, suddenly his ideas are dumb. Biberty. Knock him. Just somebody punch him. Liberty, idiot. How am I dealing with you? That lady that's sitting next to him who's yelling at the baby, just haul off and hit him in the face. It's actually biberty and people who's laughing. It's the same as the e Trade babies. I never understood that one either. Oh, that was for moms. They just wanted their babies to talk. Throw up all over them. I wanted to strangle that E Trade baby so bad that I want to strangle that little weird thing. Anyway, sorry, Brett. Go. All right.
Holmberg
On the list, Primus. Have a cigar from our conversation earlier. Puddle of Mud, Crown the Empire. Judas Priest, you got another thing coming for Dan Dan. Tools, prison sex for Dan Dan. Oh, Iron Maiden. Run to the Hills for Rob. Revolting Cox. Do you think I'm sexy for Dan Dan?
Brett
Is that a cover? Yeah. Is that something? Is it good? Probably not.
Holmberg
It's the guys from Ministry. It was one of their side projects, but it's.
Brett
It's the old Rod Stewart song. Yeah.
Holmberg
Here, I'll pull it up.
Brett
I have not heard this. And for Dan Dan, A recap. Earlier this morning, we got the update on Dan Dan the dancing man trying to make time with that guy's wife who emailed us, and they went to Kelsey Ballerini and he offered up a threesome to them, and the wife was taken back by it. I have to hear this, okay? If I haven't, I have to. That's gonna be a thing. I'm not alone on this one. The biberty guy makes everyone mad. I've been saying this for months. Thank you. I hope that emu pecks that homo F word's eyes out.
Holmberg
Jesus.
Brett
Now, if that's the. Okay, let's take a step back. Maybe that's true, Micah. Maybe that's Liberty Mutual's endgame with the emu is that it finds Bibbity guy and pecks his eyes out. Right there on that I could get to if the emu kills the idiot. All worth it in the end. But right now, the storyline's pissing me off. Bring back the melting wax man. I liked him, you know?
Dan
Bothered me about that.
Brett
The melting wax man.
Dan
Yes. The guy melts along.
Brett
Yeah, that made me laugh.
Dan
Stupid fall down.
Brett
I like that he melted exactly the same as his thing. I thought that was funny, like, trying to save it, but it looked like they were both going down. Yeah, made me laugh. There was no point to it. It didn't have any misspoken words as, like, facts. I don't get it. Liberty Biberty. It's not like, why. Why would. Why would anyone tolerate that? Like, just, you're fired. He can't say it. Oh, it drives me nuts. I'm glad I'm not alone. My emails have exploded with the Biberty hate. It's a fine product, I'm sure. I don't know. It's insurance. Seem to be doing well. It's every other commercial. But when he comes on, I just. I seethe. Just fury, anger, lava. He's gonna say it, and he's gonna try to correct the baby. And I'm supposed to laugh at this? I want to strangle him. He'll probably do tours. And another thing is, he's probably making, like, 250 grand to go in and mispronounce the company's name a couple of times. It's. I gotta calm down. I gotta calm down. It's out of control now.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (March 26, 2025)
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Broadcasted On: 98 KUPD (97.9 FM)
Episode Title: Bret Has Never Tried A Cigarette - Calling For An End To Tesla Vandalism For Any Cause - John's Ad Anger - Steve Wozniak Apologizes For Unleashing AI Years Ago
The episode opens with a candid discussion about smoking habits, particularly focusing on cigarettes and cigars. Bret Vesely leads the conversation by revealing his astonishing personal choice:
Bret Vesely [01:06]: "No, never interested me. My parents did and I just, I don't know, never did anything for."
John Holmberg and other hosts express their similar disinterest in cigarettes, delving into personal anecdotes and societal perceptions surrounding smoking.
Key Points:
Bret's Aversion: Bret emphasizes never having tried cigarettes despite societal norms and peer pressure.
Bret [03:31]: "I never met anybody who's never even tried a cigarette. You don't have any curiosity."
Holmberg's Perspective: John shares his disdain for cigarettes, attributing it to the unpleasant smell and personal preferences.
Holmberg [01:29]: "I just never, I don't know, why draw the line there... always thought it stunk."
Cigar Conversations: While cigarettes are generally dismissed, cigars receive a mixed reaction. Some hosts admit to occasional cigar smoking when offered, though it's not a regular practice.
Holmberg [02:08]: "But a cigar I will."
Transitioning from personal habits, the hosts address a pressing community concern: the vandalism of Tesla vehicles. John Holmberg passionately calls for an end to these destructive acts, highlighting recent incidents that have disturbed the community's peace.
Key Points:
Incidents at Public Venues: Holmberg mentions multiple instances where individuals vandalized Teslas at public places like the Suns game parking garage.
Holmberg [11:00]: "Two times in the last week I've had to be stopped for a place that had a threat... you're just mucking it up for the rest of us."
Security Implications: The vandalism has led to increased security measures, causing inconvenience to regular patrons.
Brett [15:03]: "I can't be in here. Strange. Interesting."
Community Impact: The ongoing threats and actual damages not only affect Tesla owners but also strain the resources of security personnel tasked with ensuring safety.
Holmberg [35:05]: "Because you get these people wiping their asses on the Teslas and keying them and blowing them up."
Call to Action: Holmberg urges Tesla owners to adopt preventive measures like using mirrors, sanitizing handles, and maintaining cleanliness to deter vandals.
Brett [37:07]: "Get some handy shammies... spray down your little handle."
John Holmberg shifts the discussion to advertising frustrations, particularly targeting Liberty Mutual's spokesperson who mispronounces the company's name.
Key Points:
Mispronunciation Issue: Brett Vesely expresses his irritation with the spokesperson's incorrect pronunciation.
Brett [16:22]: "Why can't the handsome spokesman for Liberty Mutual say liberty? Why is that the ad campaign?"
Community Reaction: The mispronunciation has sparked widespread annoyance among listeners, leading to numerous complaint emails.
Brett [42:35]: "My emails have exploded with the Biberty hate."
Emotional Response: The hosts convey their deep frustration, showcasing how advertising missteps can significantly impact brand perception and listener experience.
Brett [43:03]: "I want to strangle that E Trade baby so bad that I want to strangle that little weird thing."
A significant portion of the episode delves into the realm of artificial intelligence (AI), sparked by recent remarks from tech icon Steve Wozniak. The hosts discuss Wozniak's public apology for "unleashing AI" and the broader implications of autonomous AI systems.
Key Points:
Steve Wozniak's Apology: Brett Vesely references Wozniak's admission of regret over advancing AI technologies.
Brett [19:57]: "Steve Wozniak basically apologized years ago for bringing AI to the party."
AI Self-Awareness: The conversation touches on concerns about AI developing self-awareness and the potential threats posed by uncontrollable systems.
Brett [20:56]: "He’s aware of how to correct its own errors... we have to stay ahead of it."
Lack of Control Measures: The hosts lament the absence of effective safeguards against advanced AI potentially surpassing human oversight.
Brett [20:56]: "And currently, we have nothing."
Pop Culture References: The discussion incorporates references to movies like "The Matrix" and "Blade Runner," drawing parallels between fiction and present-day AI developments.
Brett [21:38]: "We've been told about AI replicants, Blade Runner... We're plugged into some simulation."
Future Implications: The hosts speculate on the future of AI, suggesting that society may not be adequately prepared for autonomous AI entities.
Brett [22:18]: "The AI is real now. Things that are horrible."
Throughout the episode, the hosts interweave various other topics, blending humor, personal stories, and societal observations.
Key Points:
Time Machines and Sci-Fi: A brief but engaging debate on the feasibility of time machines and their portrayal in science fiction.
Brett [24:04]: "Time machines make sense to us because of our nostalgic brains... it would mess up everything."
Parking Spot Etiquette: An animated discussion on the proper etiquette for holding parking spots, emphasizing that only cars should occupy these spaces.
Brett [32:12]: "You cannot stand in a parking spot and hold it. Jackass."
Community Incidents: Sharing of local incidents, such as a woman being run over in a parking spot conflict, highlighting the tensions arising from unconventional parking behaviors.
Dan [31:33]: "Some lady got taken out the other day. She was holding a parking spot for the family member that was late."
Salesperson Stress: Commentary on the high-stress environment of sales roles, humorously linking it to physical symptoms like hair loss.
Brett [40:26]: "Radio salespeople... It's their job. I know... They make the salespeople even crazier."
This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" offers a kaleidoscope of discussions ranging from personal lifestyle choices to pressing societal issues. The hosts effectively blend humor with serious commentary, engaging listeners with relatable topics and thought-provoking insights. Notably, the episode underscores community challenges like Tesla vandalism and the ethical dilemmas posed by advancing AI, while also reflecting on everyday annoyances such as advertising missteps.
Listeners are left with a vivid portrayal of the hosts' perspectives, encouraging reflection on both personal choices and broader societal trends.
Notable Quotes:
Bret Vesely [03:31]: "I never met anybody who's never even tried a cigarette. You don't have any curiosity."
John Holmberg [11:00]: "You're just mucking it up for the rest of us."
Brett Vesely [16:22]: "Why can't the handsome spokesman for Liberty Mutual say liberty?"
Brett Vesely [20:56]: "And currently, we have nothing."
Brett Vesely [32:12]: "You cannot stand in a parking spot and hold it. Jackass."