03-27-25 - Holmberg Makes Another Proclamation/Bet About The DBacks As Today Is Opening Day - Brady Treated His Brother Tom To Maybe The Worst Day Ever Yesterday

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: March 27, 2025 Host: John Holmberg Guests: Brady Bogen, Brett, Dick Toledo

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Introduction

In the March 27, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg navigates through a mix of intense sports commentary and personal anecdotes, all delivered with his signature blend of humor and candidness. Joined by Brady Bogen and Brett, the team delves into last night's NBA showdown, the excitement surrounding MLB Opening Day, and the chaotic experience of Brady hosting his brother Tom for the weekend.

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NBA Showdown: Suns vs. Celtics

John Holmberg kicks off the conversation by dissecting the recent NBA game where the Boston Celtics decisively defeated the Phoenix Suns. He expresses disappointment over the Suns' performance, highlighting the Celtics' dominance and the impact of their fervent fanbase.

"Last night, the Suns were shown what it's like to be an actual contender by a team called the Boston Celtics."
— John Holmberg [00:48]

Holmberg criticizes the Suns' coaching strategies, particularly their over-reliance on three-point shooting against a Celtics team adept at it. He also laments the lack of passionate support from Suns fans, suggesting that financial motivations overshadow true fandom.

"The Suns fans just let it happen for the money thing because they're not really attached to steam."
— John Holmberg [03:10]

The conversation touches on the intimidating atmosphere created by the Celtics' fans, with Holmberg noting the overwhelming green-themed support that dampened the Suns' spirit.

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MLB Opening Day: Diamondbacks and Cubs in Town

Transitioning from basketball to baseball, Holmberg announces the excitement of MLB Opening Day, featuring both the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Chicago Cubs visiting town. This sets the stage for his bold proclamation regarding the Diamondbacks' season prospects.

"24 hours later Diamondbacks, Cubs. The baseball season starts today, which is crazy."
— John Holmberg [04:33]

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John Holmberg's Bold Bet on the Diamondbacks

In a spirited segment, Holmberg makes a daring proclamation about the Diamondbacks' performance relative to the Los Angeles Dodgers. He vows to get a large Arizona Diamondbacks tattoo if the team outperforms the Dodgers in the standings or playoff achievements.

"If the Diamondbacks finish this season ahead of the Dodgers in the standings, I'll have the Arizona Diamondbacks logo tattooed to my back, neck to ass. Let it be written. Let it be done."
— John Holmberg [07:10]

The bet becomes a focal point of the discussion, with Holmberg outlining various scenarios under which he would fulfill his promise, including the Diamondbacks securing a wild card spot or surpassing the Dodgers in the playoffs.

"If they're a wild card in the playoffs and they play the Dodgers and knock the Dodgers out or go farther than the Dodgers in the playoffs... I'll get a tattoo of the Arizona Diamondbacks from my neck to my ass."
— John Holmberg [09:56]

Brady humorously jots down the bet, while the team debates the feasibility of the Diamondbacks challenging the Dodgers' prowess.

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Personal Anecdotes: Brady Hosts His Brother Tom

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Brady Bogen's less-than-ideal experience hosting his brother Tom during his visit from Cleveland. The trio humorously critiques Brady's attempts to entertain Tom, highlighting a series of underwhelming activities that left Tom dissatisfied.

"Brady, for those who don't know, his brother's in town. Flew all the way here from Cleveland to Ohio and is visiting Brady. And so far Brady's taken him to a closed Vietnamese restaurant, a place called Bong Bong."
— John Holmberg [16:00]

The discussion underscores the mismatch between Tom's expectations and the mundane outings, such as attending a low-key LPGA event and a lackluster tennis recital. Holmberg empathizes with Tom's plight, suggesting that Brady's efforts fall short of making the visit enjoyable.

"It's just awful to take like you and Ronnie are obligated. That's a great thing for you guys. It's your World Series. Bring in somebody who's not involved in her day to day life. That's torture."
— John Holmberg [17:45]

The team continues to rib Brady about his choices, advocating for more meaningful activities like attending a baseball game or enjoying a hearty dinner to make up for the lackluster plans.

"You should be ashamed of yourself. Ashamed? You fly all the way to Cleveland and he drops you off at Culver's."
— John Holmberg [29:36]

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Future Plans and Concluding Remarks

As the episode nears its end, Holmberg reiterates his confidence in the Diamondbacks' potential, despite acknowledging the Dodgers' financial and roster advantages. The team wraps up with light-hearted banter about future outings and the ongoing challenges of balancing personal obligations with quality time.

"I just can't imagine. Because the Dodgers can afford to have a few hiccups. The Diamondbacks can't have any injuries."
— John Holmberg [12:27]

Holmberg closes with a humorous nod to his earlier bet, emphasizing the unpredictability of sports and the personal commitments that intertwine with professional discussions on the show.

"We love you, Tom Bogan. More than your brother, evidently, because he's trying to get you to kill yourself."
— John Holmberg [35:50]

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Notable Quotes

• "If the Diamondbacks finish this season ahead of the Dodgers in the standings, I'll have the Arizona Diamondbacks logo tattooed to my back, neck to ass. Let it be written. Let it be done."
  — John Holmberg [07:10]

• "Last night, the Suns were shown what it's like to be an actual contender by a team called the Boston Celtics."
  — John Holmberg [00:48]

• "It's just awful to take like you and Ronnie are obligated. That's a great thing for you guys. It's your World Series."
  — John Holmberg [17:45]

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Conclusion

The March 27 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a dynamic blend of sports analysis and personal storytelling, anchored by John Holmberg's engaging commentary and the candid interactions with Brady and Brett. From dissecting high-stakes NBA games to navigating the challenges of family visits, the show delivers both insightful and entertaining content for its listeners.

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For more episodes and updates, tune in to 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), the 98 KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It's 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo. And off we go for a glorious Thursday. More. It's already Thursday. How'd that happen? And you know, a little disappointing for. Look, there's two things going on. It's kind of the polarity of Arizona sports. Last night, the Suns were shown what it's like to be an actual contender by a team called the Boston Celtics. And mother, oh, my button isn't working. Mother. The Celtic fans turned that arena green last night. It was depressing. If I'm Matt Ishbia, I look at last night's game and I'm like, I've got a problem on my hands because this team is four years removed from a world championship run, NBA finals run, had a couple of hiccups, you know, not necessarily championship teams, but good teams. The last couple years. This year's been a little off. And then within that time, a true contender rolls in and fills your arena with green. It was bad.

[Brady]

How green was the rah rah room?

[John Holmberg]

Not very, because it's, you know, it flowed in. Well, it's. Most of the arena was sold last night. All the season ticket holders realized this is my chance to get money back for a season where tickets won't, you know, the resale on your season tickets has been horrible this year. So last night people are getting, you know, the seats next to me went for like 500 bucks each. And they're good seats. They're not like gonna knock you 500 bucks. I tell you right now, don't spend 500 bucks on it. And they watch the Celtics Just come in and dominate. But it was. And here's the problem. I'm having two things. Suns fans just let it happen for the money thing because they're not really attached to steam. Second, could we do it to any other city except Boston? Jesus Christ. Is that an annoying group? And they're worse in. In their own environment. I haven' to a Boston game in Boston. I can't imagine what that's gotta be like. The arrogance and ignorance all mixed up together has got to be disgusting. But when they, they. Oh, they're the worst. They're just. Every basket they're doing something that makes you want to hit them. Like they say dumb. It's constant. That commercial is like your cousin from Boston. Now imagine 18,000 of them. It's. They were chanting go Celtics. And it was a big chant. They. It was R.A. down on the Suns and their fans last night. It was not pretty. And then, you know, they're like, hey, you guys think you're. You're actually going to sneak into the playoffs and do some damage? Let me show you what playoff teams do. And they just beat the sun that never ended, huh? Oh, no. I mean, in the beginning it's like, hey, not bad. Boston shot 50 threes and hit like 28 of them. They were ridiculous last night. Over. Well, I don't know if that was the accurate, but it felt like they were over. They were probably a little under, but still they still popping them. And then the Suns, because they're poorly coached, started to try to shoot threes with them. And you're just chasing a team that's great at it. You know, it's like dancing next to Usher. You're not going to win a dance off, so do your own thing. So, yeah, it was bad, but flip it over. 24 hours later Diamondbacks, Cubs. The baseball season starts today, which is crazy. So where one thing is dying, it's like what live said lightning crashes and we're starting the whole cycle of life again. One thing's dying, the other thing comes to life. The baby opens its eyes and it's the Diamondback. So you got that going today. And the Cubbies are in town. So you've got Boston last night, my former family, the Cubs in town. People keep asking me, you going into.

[Brady]

The game, playing your new family?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, yeah, I don't want to. I'm not going to do that. Okay. It's not fair to pretend to be a Diamondback fan just because of what happened with my Cubbies. I have no love.

[Brady]

You're in the taint.

[John Holmberg]

Right now, I am a free agent in fandom. And I still, you know, two years ago, for those who don't know, two years ago, I made the proclamation on the earth. The Diamondbacks made it to the World Series. I would stop being a Cubs fan. And I did that in May because they killed the bird. Now, in 2001, Randy Johnson killed a bird throwing a baseball, and they went to the World Series. A couple years ago, was it 23. Zach Gallen kills a bird in warmups throwing a baseball. They go to the World Series. So jokingly, I said in May after he killed the bird. Yeah.

[Brady]

This year at a golf scramble.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

But it was a golf.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Brady was golfing with their pitcher, Kevin Ginkell. But it was Trip. Trip, okay. Trip killed the bird. He was in there, and Tripp hit a drive, and it's killed.

[Brett]

Dodgers are gonna.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, he's a Dodger. Yeah. Now maybe he's still.

[Brett]

I don't know if that counts.

[John Holmberg]

The. The animal sacrifice that the Diamondbacks have gotten so good at. So, yeah, I just said, you know, if they're killing birds and it leads to. If it happens again, I'll. I'll stop being a Cubs fan. I'll sell all my cub stuff. Well, God damn it, if they didn't go to the World Series. And I had to. I got. I have my whole sports bar. I. I got rid of all my cub stuff. I have some stuffed in my closet. But I got rid of my autographed Ernie Banks. I gave it to charity. It was a beautiful thing. And. And now I, like, got the Diamondbacks gear on and I try Harry Carey painting. I don't think anybody wants that.

[Brett]

Oh, the Steven Harry one that was in the office.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure that's an unwanted. Like that might be. It's a one of a one. As it should be. And yeah, there's reason. No reason for it. Well, I got it. You want it at a golf auction. Just. I said, I'm going to win that. Or it was at Dale Hell's dad's charity basketball event, and he had that thing out there some lady had painted Harry Carey and Steve Stone. It was like a paint by numbers. It was like she wasn't.

[Brady]

We were at a scramble.

[John Holmberg]

And you said, no, no, no, that was this one. Is that the basketball? And actually ended up a high bidder on that one. That wasn't because the other one was the painting at the golf thing that I said, I'm going to win that horrible Painting. And sure enough, I did.

[Brett]

So it was a drawing, or did you bid on it?

[John Holmberg]

I. It was a silent auction, and I believe I was the only one who bid on it. And that was in 2004.

[Brett]

What was the minimum on that thing?

[John Holmberg]

275. I remember exactly how much I paid for that. It is not a good game.

[Brett]

Framed right.

[John Holmberg]

And the frame is no better.

[Brady]

I know, but, I mean, at least.

[Brett]

It adds a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

I guess it's got some value. But, yeah, so I had to get rid of all that stuff. And then I'm like, all right, I can do this. The Cubs were pissing me off at the time. And then I tried to be a Diamondbacks fan. I was. I'm friendly to the Diamondbacks. I'm. I'm. I'm a Hooters waitress to the Diamondbacks. I'm making them think, hey, this is going really well. And then I leave and I don't think about them again.

[Brady]

Are you gonna attend any this weekend?

[John Holmberg]

I'm going Saturday. And I'm gonna dress neutral.

[Brady]

Not split.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. I'm not gonna do that weird thing people do. I'm just gonna be neutral. I watch my Cubbies. I'm not. I'm not tied to them anymore. I don't really. The uniform makes me nostalgic, that when I see the Cubs uniform, I think of me as a kid, like, being a Cub. But, I don't know. You look at it. I don't know. It's just. I don't know. It's just. It's a tough one. But I like baseball, so I'll go with that. But there they are. Hope. Hope springs eternal is my point. The sun's dying and the Diamondback starting there. And they're, you know, they're a team that's going to wildly disappoint you, an incredibly good roster. A team that's going to, you know, have some hope. And the Dodgers are going to push them right out of the way. There's no chance, anybody. If they beat the Dodgers and get past them this year, I will be careful. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Mark my words. March 27th.

[Brett]

Toledo, write it down.

[John Holmberg]

March 27th. If they win the division over the Los Angeles Dodgers, I will have the Arizona Diamondbacks logo tattooed to my back, neck to ass. Let it be written. Let it be done. 5:53am On March 27, 2025, if the Diamondbacks win the division. In fact, let me fix that. If they finish ahead of the Dodgers in The division, they don't even have to win it. Barring some sort of plane crash that the Dodgers are in. It's the only. Like, if the Dodgers die in a plane crash.

[Brady]

Act of God.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, act of God. Like an insurance company. Everything's going active. If the Dodgers die in a hurricane or, you know, plane wreck, mass shooting. Is that an act of God? I guess. No. If it's a mass shooting, I guess we all win. If the Diamondbacks finish this season ahead of the Dodgers, I'll even go so far as to say this. If they still lose the division, I'll breathe easier. But if they're a wild card in the playoffs and they play the Dodgers and knock the Dodgers out or go farther than the Dodgers in the playoffs because someone else knocked them out, I'll get a tattoo of the Arizona Diamondbacks from my neck to my ass.

[Brady]

Let's get a new design. Let me design.

[John Holmberg]

Let me add this. I'll do it on my head. There we go. I'll put the A somewhere on my bald, ugly head. Write it down. Because last time I forgot. And all the listeners said, hey, didn't you say that if they went to the World Series, you'd get.

[Brady]

Oh, don't worry.

[John Holmberg]

They'll remember. They'll remember. So that's it for me today. That's. That's where I'm pretty good.

[Brady]

Proclamation.

[John Holmberg]

Happy opening day. Now I'm pretty comfortable with it as I was that that Diamondbacks team two years ago wasn't going to the World Series. They weren't very good. Suddenly, end of August, early September, they start playing some ball. And then in the playoffs, they were just fantastic. But they have to kill a bird. If they don't kill birds, they don't go to World Series. Or Two for two and we killed a bird. But you're right. Brady was there. And that's just my theory. There's nothing in the world that says anybody else. No one else is saying, kill a bird. Go to the Series. This is the only place that we're bringing that up. Like the sports stations are afraid of, you know, some bird society coming at an Autobahn, coming in and saying, stop talking about dead birds. I don't care. But I don't care. You know, I say what my. What my black friends always say, I don't care about no Audubon Society. You're always mad at them.

[Brady]

Could you. Would you do the Diamondback logo on the smaller back? And then just have the words batter up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, okay. All right, Brady. I like that. Yeah. Bat rat with an arrow. I'll take that. I'll make it the gayest tattoo of all time. I don't plan on living much longer. I don't think a lot of people are going to see that. I like that. Great.

[Brett]

We may not make it five years at this point.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Brett, Start playing it for your future because it looks like. Or just. I love bats and balls. Just put it right on my back. With an Arizona Diamondback. I don't care. Got a pretty rack.

[Brady]

Is pretty solid rack.

[John Holmberg]

Strong. That bat rack. Strong. Very. Or just have the big unit, like, on my pelvis. I'll do it. I'll do that. But I. I'm pretty confident going into the baseball season that the Diamondbacks will not be better than the Dodgers in the standings or in the playoffs. I just can't imagine. Because the Dodgers can afford to have a few hiccups. The. I'll tell you this. Diamondbacks can't have any injuries.

[Brady]

How about the Sox this year, Brett? Oh.

[Brett]

Last place.

[John Holmberg]

Kiss him. Gone.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible. Holmberg's morning sickness. Hopkins just texted me. He goes, you're not kidding about last night's game. He got two grand each for his seats.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

That's how much Bostonians wanted to see their Celtics come in and mop the Suns up. And they showed up. And Cubs fans will do it today. Diamondbacks fans will show up for opening. That's a good thing to have the Cubs in town on opening day. You'll still have a nice pile of Diamondbacks. There's not much better than opening day of baseball. It's like, a great vibe. The weather's gonna be amazing. I don't know if they'll have the roof open. I don't know if they still do that. But that stadium's a different animal. When the roof's open and those panels are open, it feels like a great place. When it's all closed up, it's like somebody's warehouse. So. Yeah. Baseball today starts today. Yeah. And I'll have the. I'll have the logo slapped right on there. I'll do both. I'll have the a. From my back of my neck down to my ass, and then right under. Batter up. Right on my. Right on my. What is that? The. The tramp stamp billboard?

[Brady]

The tailbone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't care. You know what? It's not a bad idea at this point, Brady, to start decorating this thing.

[Brett]

Should have drew, hey, batter. On the back of your.

[Brady]

Well, that was last year. Batter up.

[John Holmberg]

Batter up. Solid. Now I have, because I got up this morning when I looked at myself in the mirror, I'm like, I'm so white. Why not decorate? I'm gonna color myself in. Although I am scared to death of tattoo needles.

[Brett]

Like, yeah, you couldn't even get pricked when we were doing the. When we were doing the COVID test.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, I can't. I don't like that at all. I don't like giving blood and getting that my finger pricked. But I'll do it. I'll do it for society. Yeah. It's like I watched a Machine Gun Kelly just. He was painting himself black from the neck down. I'm like, that's. That eliminates a lot of need to go out to the pool. And I gotta get some color because I am pasty white from under my.

[Brady]

You know when you have, like, a full sleeve and stuff is. Does it protect you from the sun at all?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Well, no tattoos. Yeah.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I'll just go.

[Brady]

Is it faded or something or.

[Brett]

Yeah, it'll fade.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'll go the opposite. I don't want my arms to have anything on them because my arms are in the sun. Like, they're. They're good. Like, a good color on my arms. This middle section of me. Oh, I'm sponsored by, like, YoPlay. It is just, like, white, and I'm. It's weird. I looked in the mirror today. I'm like, I gotta get new lights in my bathroom because I think they're the problem. It's, like, reflecting back off of me, and then it. Like, it glows in the mirror like powder or like I'm an angel in the outfield or something. Like, my reflection off my bathroom lights in the mirror was blinding.

[Brady]

I'm gonna get the. You know, if I were to get one, maybe I should. Me thinking about it, like, maybe across the back in the old English leather letter saying, Old country buffet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I hope they spell country wrong. That's my dream. My dream for you. Definitely have a typo. Had that on your back. And then. And then they're just county buffet, and you can't afford the rest of it, so they. They eliminate the ry part, and it just says old C word on your back.

[Brady]

You ran out of space.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry. You get to pay for. And Brady, your day. Yesterday was the worst day. Like, the worst day ever. Brady, for those of you who don't know, his brother's in town. Flew all the way here From Cleveland to Ohio and is visiting Brady. And so far Brady's taken him to a closed Vietnamese restaurant, a place called Bong Bong. And then, and this is the thought you put into your brother's visit. A guy who we know who runs Trophies bar says he's going to be somewhere and you're like, that's a good one. And like two days ago, he decides to take his brother to the LPGA golf tournament to eat free food. And that's the only reason you even cared to go out there, is because a guy who runs, definitely one of the benefits. A guy who runs a restaurant tells Brady, hey, do you want some free food? He'll go to. He'll go to like a firing squad show. He'll go to like a dog fight. You'll go to anything horrible if it means, hey, I got an in with this restaurant guy and he's going to give me some free stuff. So your poor brother flies all the way out here from Cleveland. You drag him out to the LPGA event. Terrible. And then to top it off, you pile him in the car and drive him to Casa Grande to watch your daughter's tennis recital. We go 30 minutes deep, you're at whirlwind. And then nobody's destination is Casa Grande. And then add in, well, what are we doing when we're in Casa Grande? Because that's already bad.

[Brady]

You're going to stand outside in this dust bowl 91 degrees and watch my.

[John Holmberg]

Teenage daughter play battle half hearted tennis with another teenage girl just for credits at school. It's like watching them do homework. Oh, and he did it.

[Brady]

He did.

[John Holmberg]

Tom's a trooper.

[Brady]

Singles and doubles.

[John Holmberg]

I don't.

[Brady]

No one but, you know, tiebreaker and the doubles.

[John Holmberg]

I'm proud of you for having a daughter that accomplished something, but no one on the planet wants to watch that. No one other than a parent cares when their kid does a sport.

[Brett]

But parents don't care either.

[John Holmberg]

And they don't go, yeah, it's just awful. It's just awful to take like you and Ronnie are obligated. That's a great thing for you guys. It's. It's your world series. Bring in somebody who's not involved in her day to day life. That's torture.

[Brett]

Is Ronnie obligated because she doesn't seem to show up to a lot of this stuff?

[John Holmberg]

It's true.

[Brady]

She. We changed things up today.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

Cuz Kirby has another tennis match where we're gonna go that. Oh, Florence.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God.

[Brady]

So we're not going to Florence today, okay? Just, we're golfing instead.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you and your brother Ronnie.

[Brady]

Ronnie will go.

[John Holmberg]

Ronnie's got a drag ass to Florence.

[Brett]

I'd rather go with Troy Hayden to Florence.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, me too. That's a fun thing to watch what Troy Hayden did. Look what Troy. You give me that option. Hey, there's an execution at the prison in Florence or a teenage girls tennis match. I'd be like, oh, yeah, that's amazing. No, Brady, between the two, I'd rather watch the dude commit the crime he's going to get killed for than I would a girls tennis match. Oh, high school girls 10. Unless Anna Kournikova shows up when she in a time machine. Good lord, that's terrible.

[Brady]

Will you travel down to Casa Grande to see the Vista Grand Spartans battle the Gilbert Knights?

[John Holmberg]

No, it's only for parents. Recitals, tennis matches, all that stuff. Only for parents. I always think that if you're not a parent and you're going to. That you're a pedophile. If there was a guy, wouldn't you be suspicious Yesterday if there was a guy who's just there, he's like, I'm just here for the. The entertainment competition. I have no family on the. You'd be like, oh, this guy.

[Brady]

There's four or five.

[John Holmberg]

No, there are not. If there are, call the police. There is no one there for the entertainment value of a tennis match between teenagers. No one. Unless it's the high end teenagers that end up going to Wimbledon and stuff. Just a high school match. It's horrifying. How was the LPGA event?

[Brady]

Not the food set up.

[John Holmberg]

Not the food.

[Brady]

I just asked you a question. Really nice.

[John Holmberg]

What was so special about the food?

[Brady]

Well, the tent, you know, basically their setup. Yeah, it's like free. Like the Bay Club. The Phoenix Open.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

Waste management. Don't compare those with maybe, I don't know, 5,000 less people there at least.

[John Holmberg]

So let's compare. One event has over 200,000 people a day.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yours? 80 to 1,000.

[Brady]

We on our whole, we probably had at the time, the max was 50 people in that tent.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. And that you really enjoy.

[Brady]

But you know, yesterday. That's their Pro Am.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, sure. Why not? Oh, Dale's got tickets and he even. That's how he sold it to me. You want to go with me on Thursday to the LPGA event? I'm like, absolutely not. And well, actually he said, because I skipped the text for a while and I get one the next morning that said can't you at least tell me to off. And I'm like, oh, geez, I'm sorry. I don't know how I missed this text. Yeah, absolutely. Off. I'm not going to that. And he goes, I just, you know, it's at least free food and drink. And I'm like, I've got free food and drink at home. I can do that. I have to drive all the way to Whirlwind to watch girls golfing hard enough to watch a bunch of dudes golf, but I'd rather do that anyway. That's a tough day. And your brother flew here. You're the worst chamber of commerce member there is showing up. You know, they used to. My ex, ex wife's friend and her. Did I say ex, ex wife's friend? Because she's no longer with us. So she's not even an ex person. She's an ex human being. Oh, she's no longer with us. But she was a atmosphere girl. And the spring training guys would come to town and she worked as that and they gave her a job as the atmosphere girl to hang around where these guys are and kind of concierge them through like, what do you got planned today? I'll take you here. And then she became but a legal escort where they would, the team would hire her to keep an eye on these guys and make them feel like you've got, you know, you're paying attention, you got interest. And she'd drive them where they needed to be and hang out with them a little bit. She was very pretty. And then. And realized shortly thereafter this was bad. Like this is going to be, this is going to be a whole bunch of rapes and all sorts of things like that. But something she didn't do was ever take them to kids tennis matches and LPGA events because those guys would be like, I need a new one. She would take them to great places and events around the valley and show them how awesome Phoenix is. And a couple of the guys that came through ended up signing in Arizona with the Diamondbacks and stuff because of her.

[Brady]

Nice.

[John Holmberg]

Because she's like that. Showing them like how awesome Phoenix is. You would take a guy with a five year contract that he signed two days ago with the Diamondbacks and have him screaming at the owners that he wants to be traded. The worst city I've ever been in.

[Brett]

Check the chicken fingers out, Ginkle. That's pretty sweet, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

Is there anything better to do in your town?

[Brett]

LPGA on a Wednesday afternoon in the 90s, eating chicken fingers for free from Russ. No. We're gonna hit the via check, and then I'm gonna take a nappy pappy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's bad. And your brother's such a trooper. Even talking to him yesterday. I'm like, you want to do this? And he just goes, sure. They're like, oh, not stop and move a train. You have. You have taken care. His. His kindness has been, I don't know, taken as a weakness. And you're taking full advantage of him by just saying you're coming with me.

[Brett]

It's unbelievable.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Wait till you see our super fries. I'm taking you grocery shopping. I know the butcher.

[John Holmberg]

It's rough.

[Brady]

But golf three times out of five days.

[John Holmberg]

That's just saying, Brady. It doesn't give you an excuse to ruin the whole vacation on the one day, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's like, we can have a nice week together, and then on the last week, you beat me to death. It's like, oh, it doesn't make it. Well, he had four good days and that awful last one. Poor kid. Holmberg's morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible. Morning sickness, Tom, I'm here for. He even said to me yesterday, and I don't think he was kidding, he goes, next time I'm here, I'll call you. I'm like, that's a good idea. And he goes, hahaha. And then a big wink like, please help me. Like he was. He's one of those hostages blinking out Morse code, like, trying to get out of this whole mix. But yeah. Anyway, you take him to a ball game. Is he still here? Yeah, today.

[Brady]

He leaves tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Take him to opening day at the. No, after. It's at night.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, we could make it.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. You know whose head just did? Rolodex. Who do I know? Free ticket. Buy your brother a ticket to a.

[Brady]

Game if he wants to go.

[John Holmberg]

No, he didn't want to go yesterday.

[Brady]

I don't know if he wants to go. He did. He did mention.

[John Holmberg]

He said it didn't matter if he wanted to go or not earlier in.

[Brady]

The week, because I think the Guardians were playing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they had a spring training Monday.

[Brady]

It was Monday.

[Brett]

Did you guys go?

[Brady]

No, we played golf.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

Should have played golf.

[John Holmberg]

But he said, I want to play. I want to go see the guardians.

[Brady]

No, he said, hey, the Guardians aren't down.

[John Holmberg]

Right? That's kind of. Yeah, they are. Now follow me to my daughter's tennis bed, he said in his own way. That would be fun.

[Brett]

Little brotherly time.

[John Holmberg]

That Would be a nice time.

[Brett]

Nope. Not doing that Free food at the lpga.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You don't read the tea leaves. Well, those guardians are here. I'm from Cleveland. Guardians would be spring training. They're in town too.

[Brady]

Far. Too far away.

[John Holmberg]

But world right on the way.

[Brett]

Lawrence.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the worst.

[Brett]

Did you get him as a confetti blizzard yesterday too?

[Brady]

You said you're going to buy the blizzard on it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, went right by you just didn't feel like it. So you weren't even thinking of Tom's needs? He said what about that?

[Brady]

He didn't want one.

[John Holmberg]

How do you know?

[Brett]

It's cuz Russ didn't have them in the tune for free.

[Brady]

You said 85 cent blizzard.

[John Holmberg]

No, we've got Dairy Queens in Cleveland. Brady. All right.

[Brady]

He has until the 13th.

[Brett]

Well, the sun's almost there's always today.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It's time to go home and go to bed before the sun goes down all the way. Hope you enjoyed my day.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't.

[Brett]

Okay. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Take Tom to a ball game tonight. Take him and get good seats and pay for them. Show them you love him. I know, I know, I know. Yeah. When I said that, Brett laughed because he knows. But buy your brother something. Don't.

[Brady]

I've been.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, don't barter scholarship all week. He's been scholarship all week on deals.

[Brady]

No, I'm paying money.

[John Holmberg]

Yesterday you didn't pay anything at the. At any of it?

[Brady]

No. Just dinner and lunch or. No, not lunch, just dinner.

[John Holmberg]

Where'd you go to dinner?

[Brady]

We went to Culver's on the way home.

[John Holmberg]

So you missed Dairy Queen, offered him a blizzard and then took him to a place that serves other ice cream.

[Brady]

Yeah, well. Yeah, well, it was Kirby finished a tennis match. We're in Casa Grande.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta load her up on ice cream and burgers.

[Brady]

What do you want to go like here's the choices.

[John Holmberg]

That was. You gave the choices?

[Brady]

Well, yeah, I was gonna say what were the choices?

[John Holmberg]

So you never.

[Brady]

There is. There's three or four fast food places but Uncle Tom.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. I just realized that that's what she would call just 12:30. You turned to Kirby and said where we eat? And you didn't say, tom, I want to take you and Kirby out for a nice thing Kirby got because, you know, it was.

[Brady]

It was late.

[John Holmberg]

Did tennis. What time? Seven.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. What time did like.

[Brady]

Because then we had to drive home.

[John Holmberg]

You never said hey, Tom wants to go to blah blah or where do you.

[Brady]

Oh no.

[John Holmberg]

It was all Kirby and Brady's. Day.

[Brady]

Yeah. No, I took him to. You know. He said Mexican food with a.

[Brett]

So he went to Culver's.

[Brady]

Taco Bell. He said.

[John Holmberg]

Real Mexican Del Taco.

[Brett]

This is our mother. They used to have a real bell. I think these were old missions.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, worst vacation ever. From a distance. Poor Tom, just riding in that passenger seat. Culver's drive through.

[Brett]

He's too nice of a guy.

[John Holmberg]

He's way too nice. I told him that. You're too nice. You Bogans need to learn the word no. Especially amongst each other when one's dragging you around the worst parts of our state.

[Brett]

We're heading down to Yuma to just walk.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Why? Yeah, Brady, you gotta. You gotta make it up to him. He needs a steak. 44 night. He needs a beast of a night. Your brother came all the way out to visit you.

[Brady]

It's just he and I tonight, pretty much after golf. Because, Ron, they'll be in Florence.

[John Holmberg]

I read your mind.

[Brady]

Maybe we'll go to the Texas Roadhouse.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you go. You go the Texas.

[Brett]

Take a little Texas grill.

[John Holmberg]

Take him to the grill. I saw through what you just said, too, which is just he and I tonight. That cuts the bill in half. You don't have to bring Ronnie and Kirby. Maybe it is a good night to go out. Take your brother out for a big night. Culver's and cassette. Grand. You should be ashamed of yourself. Ashamed? You fly all the way to Cleveland and he drops you off at Culver's.

[Brady]

I did. I flew out to Cleveland.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And he. You went to Culver's because you wanted to. He didn't go. Here's what we're doing. Today. We're gonna watch my daughter's recital in Akron. It's gonna be three hours. We're gonna be all over the place. And maybe we'll drive over to Erie, Pennsylvania, and we'll just look at trees for five minutes. And then I'm gonna take you to a Culver's and we're going to bed before the sun sets. Oh, now, the difference is. You heard Culver's. This guy's buying. This is a good trip, Brett. Let's take Brady's brother out.

[Brett]

We should, man.

[John Holmberg]

Tom, we're gonna take you out to a ball game and a dinner tonight like an adult.

[Brett]

Wanna get some Slurpees and get the power ones where we mix it ourselves?

[John Holmberg]

When's he move? When's he leaving?

[Brady]

Tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Tomorrow. I feel for him. I want. I want to help out.

[Brady]

Let's tell you that's the best thing about visiting or my brother or vice versa. It doesn't matter too much what you have on the job.

[John Holmberg]

Clearly, you can do. Clearly. Although you're pushing. I'm telling you, it may not matter, but you are pushing.

[Brady]

But we end up doing a lot. We've done a lot of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

I know, and I know yesterday was a big one, though. If you're like, hey, it doesn't matter. Let's see how much I can push this guy before he snaps. You're trying.

[Brady]

I'm trying on this one today. Yes, I can. He won't snap. He's unbreakable.

[John Holmberg]

I know. You're just gonna hear that weird creaking sound of weight on the end of a rope. Just end his. End it all. I can't imagine flying all the way to somebody. Hey, it's been awesome to see you. I don't care what we do. I just want to be with you. And he's like, great, here's my plan. And be like, oh, my God, no. I vote it does matter what we do. This is terrifying. You're gonna take me where?

[Brett]

We're gonna watch fat Koreans golf for a little while.

[Brady]

Well, after I found out, you know, this is kind of a recruiting trip. I didn't want him to, like, fall in love with Arizona.

[John Holmberg]

You don't want them out here all the time. Yeah, this is. Yeah. You own this place. Only one guy getting free bowls at Viet Shack. That's for sure. Can't have double bogan barters going on around here. I'd like to nominate Brady for Frank Caliendo's Nathan Sutherland's heel of the year award for not taking his brother out and being a cheap. Wow. Yeah. This one says, I think Brady's a bigger tight ass Jew than you, John. I still don't know how I'm getting this possible. How am I getting? At least you. At least you pay for things. I think Tom was very excited when I said, look, you can stay at my house. But I told him, I'm like, look, two days max. Let's not this whole. Then we'll get you in a hotel like a decent visitor. Five, six days in somebody else's house.

[Brady]

That's too much five star accommodations.

[John Holmberg]

It's too much holding in farts. And I know you're not, but he is probably around. Ronnie and Kirby's got to go. That's just. You need your own space.

[Brett]

This guy wants here bored from the Deftones for Tom this morning.

[John Holmberg]

Tom, we're thinking about you we're the only ones in the room thinking about you.

[Brett]

And then I'm gonna go do this, and you're coming with, and I'm gonna do this, and you're going to be there. Have I asked you what you wanted to do?

[John Holmberg]

Not once.

[Brady]

Good.

[Brett]

Then I'm going to get more done for me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What do you think you'd say if you're like, well, is there anything in the city you want to see? Well, he loves hiking.

[Brady]

Yeah, he's done it every morning.

[John Holmberg]

Camelback Mountain.

[Brady]

I'm not. Not the mountain or anything like that.

[John Holmberg]

But take him to one of our beautiful trails. Show them. That's just a walk, Brady.

[Brady]

Yeah, he's walking the dogs for me.

[Brett]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[John Holmberg]

That's what Tom said yesterday. He asked me to walk the dogs because I like to walk every day.

[Brett]

He's wearing those dogs out. I don't have to do anything.

[John Holmberg]

Are you dressing him up like Aunt Jemima, too?

[Brady]

He should be making breakfast this morning. Sure.

[Brett]

Time. Thanks, Uncle Tom. I sure would like some food that isn't Covid related. Well, you're out of luck there, Uncle Tom. Oh, Brady, you so fun. This floor's not as clean as I'd like.

Did you put a little chauffeur's cap on and make him drive you to Castle Ground yesterday?

Sleepy there, uncle Tom.

Driving Miss Brady.

[Brady]

I drove the whole time.

[Brett]

Sure thing, Mr. Brady. Let me get you from A to B. This is great, having a brother's slave. That sounded bad.

[John Holmberg]

Uncle Tom, he'd do it. I know. Maybe he thinks you're special and he's like, you're. He told me that mom was right about this one. Either way, I would. I don't know. Walking your dogs, going to girls golf tournaments. It just sounds awful.

[Brady]

Quality time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, not really. Is he coming back in today? At the end of the show? He's not gonna. Okay. Because I would talk some sense into him, and then we go to, like, a strip club and we'd have some fun as a man. And then maybe go to Camelback Mountain. I give him a mountain bike. We'd tour around. He's active. He wants to do stuff. Right. He'd probably enjoy that now, the walking right now.

[Brady]

Because he used to do a lot more, but he had to, you know, he was doing, like, 10 miles a day.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brett]

We get Josh to bring a couple bikes down, get a couple E bikes.

[John Holmberg]

Tool around, up and down. A beautiful scenic thing.

[Brett]

Nah, that's dumb.

[Brady]

There's a Culver's Golf. Culver's I mean, come on.

[John Holmberg]

Girl golf. You forgot that part. Watching girl golf. Oh, Brady.

[Brady]

Ronnie made dinner a couple of nights, too. Oh, yeah, Lovely.

[John Holmberg]

Have you lifted a finger? Yeah. Oh, you haven't.

[Brady]

First day. Absolutely. Made breakfast.

[Brett]

Wake up Tom. Here, I'm. Let me test all of that out.

[John Holmberg]

Empty plates. Poor Tom. It's a tough day. We're thinking of it. You're an only child. Be grateful you don't have a brother like Brady. Brad comes out to visit, you try to drive. What would you do if you went to Brady's in a visit and he's like, we're gonna watch girls golf. You just find something else to do.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, I would. First of all, I'd call it my travel agent and book me somewhere else.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go back to. You know what the worst phrase in the world, and it sounds good to me right now, is I'm gonna go back to Cleveland. That sounds awesome. If I'm Tom, Cleveland's good. Anyway, we love you, Tom Bogan. More than your brother, evidently, because he's trying to. He's trying to get you to kill himself. Let's get a wake up song 585-9800 a good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98, KUPD wagon.

[Brady]

Station.

[John Holmberg]

It's out of control now. 98 to you, PT.