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Brett
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
John Holberg
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Verze on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Sarah Weinshank this Thursday and Joe DeRosa on Friday and Saturday. And downtown at Stand Up Live, check out the very funny Lil Rel performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holberg.
Brett
Here for the amazing people at the Core Institute, life can throw you a curveball now and again. One day you're trucking along, feeling great. Next day your dog smashes into your head and knocks you cold. Or like a KUPD listener told me this week, his dog did a sprint across the backyard directly into the side of his wife's leg and blew her knee up. She needed that knee to get fixed and fixed right? Two years later, she's running like she used to again. And it's all thanks to the Core Institute. I went through it, too, and you can get rid of your pain and start. Start saying, yes, I can to all the things you want to do. And all you have to do is trust the experts at the Core Institute head there right now. The Core Institute.com here in the morning sickness. And it's time for the entertainment drill. And it's brought to you by my friends@reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black, or knuckle cops as Dale called it yesterday. And it still makes me laugh. Tactical Black is ready to go. Teach you how to be a better version of yourself. Sheepdog. That's right. They keep an eye on the flock sometimes. If you ever watch that, sheep are pretty stupid and just stand there and get attacked by bad things. That's why you need a sheepdog to keep an eye on that stuff. Which one are you? Basically, what it is to be a sheepdog is to be something that's confident that the attackers look at and go, now that's gonna fight. I want something that doesn't fight. I always say that about people, and they're like, I got a dog. You know, my, I got five dogs in my backyard. And, you know, coyotes will occasionally wander through the area. They don't want anything to do with my backyard. That's a lot of work. They want an easy kill. That's what predators do. What's the easiest way to sustain my need? And they find the victim. Don't be that. And it's really kind of something you learn. Day one when you go out to reactdefense.com don't be a victim. Here's how you're doing it. Occasionally I still slip back into victim mode. Did it the other night. Caught myself watching my phone walking down the street. I looked up and there were three dudes looking right at me about a foot and a half away. I'm like whoa. I didn't even see them. Good thing was they didn't have bad intentions. It was a nice crowd around. But I still got way too comfortable and lost in my own stupid. And you'll do that every once in a while. And you don't even think about it until you've seen what can happen. We do all sorts of stuff up there. I enjoy every second of it because it's working out with purpose, with great people and everything you're doing sort of entertaining as much as it is challenging. Challenge yourself and find out what you're made of. Ladies. The self defense seminar for just you open to the public has a couple of slots open. We got to get in on this thing. Become a little bit stronger. Especially if you're walking through a parking lot at any time during any day. Doesn't always have to be night. Doesn't have to be an alley. It doesn't have to be a bad neighborhood. You never know when you're walking around. And people like she does this every night. There's a pattern here. I can do something about that. Don't be a victim. Be aware of your surroundings and learn what you're capable of. Doesn't take long. Get on it. ReactDefense.com has a schedule of all the stuff they've got seminars and otherwise and all the classes they do every single day multiple times a day. Easy peasy. Reactdefense.com it's the home of Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
Thriller
Megan Fox gave birth yesterday to a baby girl with her that she's having with her ex fiance mgk.
Brett
Machine Gun Kelly.
Thriller
MGK posted a black and white clip holding the newborn's hand saying she's finally here. Our little celestial seed.
Brett
Celestial.
Thriller
Celestial.
Brett
Oh, what the hell is a celestial? It's mgk. Who knows? Yeah. Machine Gun Kelly is maybe developed into the most punchable pseudo celebrity on the Planet. That dude's face. Every time he's in the public, you just like, oh, it's like Jake Paul or mgk. Yeah, oh, Jake Paul is much more likable than mgk.
Thriller
MGK composed a little music for the birthing. He got help from Travis Barker and Big Slim and a few others. They composed the score of the birth. It's born into a 432Hz, which is.
Brett
A calming, calming sound waves. But she hates him. Megan Fox hates him. And he's also in a fight with Brian Austin Green.
Thriller
Oh, and the post that he said because Brian Austin Green shared a screenshot of a direct message saying he received from mgk, he kept. He asked mgk, when is our daughter going to be born? Or when it was the new daughter.
Brett
Because he's got three kids with her.
Thriller
Are excited to have a stepsister. MGK's response was, Stop asking me when our child is going to be born. You the feds, quit calling TMZ and focus on that apology you owe me for speaking my name in public. You chose the wrong one to F with Mr. Child Actor. Go back to serial commercials.
Brett
And Brian Osagreen's like, okay, you're nuts.
Thriller
His response back was like, I didn't know child actor was something bad. Well, it is Leo DiCaprio. Careful. Yeah, he may be coming for you next. Along with some laughing emojis.
Brett
It's. It's a very odd fight that we shouldn't even care about. But if Megan Fox wasn't so hot, this would just be a couple of D listers kind of banging into each other. But she's so stunningly pretty, even though she looks incredibly mean. And I've recently, I've told you this. I've recently discovered why I think women that pretty look mean to me is because that's what I expect them to be. To me, a woman that pretty looks at me and she's like, I'm not dealing with him.
Thriller
They haven't announced the name yet.
Brett
Yeah, pretty women look at me and are normally mean. So I associate pretty, beautiful women that I don't know with almost immediate anger. Well, she's got kind of that resting bitch face all the time. You have it too. You also had this. She doesn't too she to good looking men. She doesn't. She's very opportunistic. But to us she looks like a. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because we have to set ourselves up because disappointment awaits right around the corner if we think there's going to be some sort of a friendship it's not. She just won't. But she's got like, kids falling on her.
Thriller
Yeah.
Brett
She still looks amazing.
Thriller
Improved with age.
Brett
Yeah, she's. You know, who would. Who should hate her the most are 40 year old women with four kids who keep saying, well, I had the babies. I mean, you're 40 pounds overweight and you've got a 17 year old as your youngest. What? You. You've had time. Megan Fox looks good today. She had a baby yesterday. Well, I don't have plastic surgeons. She didn't even have time to have plastic surgery. She just kept it tight the whole time. So they should be the ones that hate her, but nothing you can do. Machine Gun Kelly is not a. He does have resting bitches more than he just says. And he's also got psycho eyes. Like, I watch a lot of murder shows. He's got psycho eyes. You look at his eyes, you're like, something's not right. Like he's gonna. He's gonna be one of those guys we're reading about one day that is apologizing for the thing we caught him doing. The Ray Holmberg of it all.
Thriller
Someone asked the Internet, which celebrity gives you I sold my soul to the devil vibes?
Brett
Machine Gun Kelly, we just said that.
Thriller
Didn'T make the list of the 15.
Brett
It's not big enough.
Thriller
Kanye was on there.
Brett
Yeah, DJ Khaled, that guy. Okay, I'll put him up there for sure.
Thriller
They said nobody gets to be that rich and famous by simply saying another one. Yep, the entire Kardashian clan. Jared Leto. Someone said, I can't tell if he's weird, a cult leader, or both.
Brett
I could go with the cult leader. I'd say he's more of a psychopath than a guy who sold his soul because he actually can do stuff. Logan Paul's an.
Thriller
I mean, there's some argument on some of two. Mr. Beast is on there.
Brett
No, he does.
Thriller
Someone argue that he does some good?
Brett
He does. He does a lot. When I think sold my soul to the devil, it's like you're famous and bad at Corey Feldman. Like you. You. You seem to keep things keep getting paid for through your quote, talent. And yet I've yet to see that on display once.
Thriller
Keith Richards. Not first fame, but his longevity against all odds.
Brett
He's Green Mile.
Thriller
Ozzy Osbourne made the list.
Brett
No way.
Thriller
One person said Ozzy is one of the only few who gambled with the devil in one.
Brett
He sold the soul to himself, then Marilyn Manson. Right, right. Sorry, my shoulder. The devil the devil's a friend of mine. We make. I loan my soul to Dudley. He's gonna pay me back. Brady, is it Brett? Listen to this. Brady tells me I sold my soul. I have 13 gold records.
Thriller
Bought it back.
Brett
Let's just get all quarter back. I can afford my soul again. Thriller sold his soul. He shouldn't even be walking. Olmberg's morning sickness. Disgusting. They say things that are horrible.
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Thriller
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with Wayne from Amco and Wayne. Now that it's getting warmer, I turned on the AC in my car and the air is blowing kind of cool, but it really smells like a basement. What can I do about that, Larry?
Brett
Your car's AC system should be checked and serviced every year. Plus, replacing the cabin air filter helps the air blow strong and takes away any nasty smell. Nice.
Thriller
Is that a big deal to get done?
Brett
Not at all. It takes about an hour and in most cases, we can do it while you wait.
Thriller
That's awesome.
Brett
I'll say. We're Amco.
Thriller
Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and.
Brett
A whole lot more. Holmberg's, morning sickness, Katy Perry. These are all like successful people. I don't get this.
Thriller
Jlo.
Brett
They gave her great cans though. Yeah, but I mean, I like Soldier. Sold to the devil to me is like, how in the world is this guy still performing? Like, those people all have Feldman. Feldman's the one that I go with. Like, that's. That's my. Like, he's sold to soul, that he keeps getting chances, that kind of thing. And I look at MGK and I'm like, you're super famous and got Megan Fox. And I'm supposed to think this was all on merit and talent. You're unlikable, you're kind of goofy looking, you're weird. And you get Megan Fox and some hit records. That's selling your soul to the devil.
Thriller
Someone said every judge on every one.
Brett
Of those blank Talent, mask singer for the. Yeah. Nick Cannon, to a certain degree, wildly successful.
Thriller
What's he do, MC or the host?
Brett
Yeah, I know he hosts stand up, sings. He produces, throws the frisbee. What is that?
Thriller
Oh, he produces and reproduces.
Brett
Thriller was giving me pantomime and he was doing this.
Thriller
Oh, yeah.
Brett
And I said, throws the frisbee. And then he did the skeet. Skeet. And I'm like, oh, yeah, he hoses women. Thanks. You know, we have microphones for you. You can come over your hair. You've done something.
Thriller
He's highlighted.
Brett
He's highlighted his hair. Thriller is here, everybody. He's limping over the mouth.
Thriller
Spent some money on it. Must have got some extra plasma money.
Brett
You limped over to your mic with. And I couldn't. You know what? It's working because I'm distracted by the new hair.
Michael
There you go.
Brett
You have highlighted. Yeah, they look good.
Michael
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.
Brett
Nice. Plasma's been good these days. That's plasma bay.
Michael
I like to shake it up every once in a while there.
Brett
Did you do that yourself?
Michael
No, I go to a barber for that.
Brett
And you said, well, you do something different. And he's like, let's put some shout.
Thriller
Out to the barber.
Brett
Who's the.
Michael
Who's the barber? Eric Lentz.
Brett
Okay.
Michael
Over in Chandler.
Brett
And you just went in there and said, you know. Yeah, let's dress this up.
Michael
I've been doing my hair since I was, like, 10, so.
Thriller
Really?
Brett
This looks nice. Yeah.
Michael
Thank you.
Brett
You look a little male model going on.
Thriller
Yeah.
Brett
Oh, yeah.
Michael
Now, real quick, my choice for soulless Heart of the Devil. Real easy, Rogers.
Brett
Who?
Michael
Aaron Rodgers.
Brett
Oh, Aaron. Don't you dare. Easily. I might have to defend that. Somebody said Tom Brady, too. Tom Brady might have sold the soul to the devil. I say Rogers, that's an awful lot of success in a sport where there's guys just as good or better than. Yeah. Aaron Rodgers. All right, stop it. Thriller. With your new beautiful hair, you can't even walk around by KDKB right now. You're easy to catch and you look kind of usda. Usda? Easy to catch meat.
Michael
I'm not around there very often during June.
Brett
Smart. Too much pride. That's true. Well, good luck with the new hairs at work yet.
Michael
I do like it.
Brett
Yeah, it looks good.
Michael
It happened yesterday, so I haven't had.
Brett
Any results yet, but have people noticed.
Thriller
Changed it on your profile at all?
Michael
No, not yet.
Brett
Has any. Have any women rubbed their. Has anyone talked to you here at all other than This.
Michael
I haven't seen anybody yet.
Brett
Well, because Ben's on vacation. Oh, that's. Yeah, he'll be back next week. That'll be the test. Ben's hands are going right through that. Oh. Like a plow through snow.
Michael
Oh, good word choice.
Thriller
Did you see Hulk Hogan's ex?
Brett
She's going nuts. And she doesn't wear makeup anymore.
Thriller
She broke down on social media. Selena Gomez style. Crying.
Brett
Yeah.
Thriller
But she's blaming.
Brett
Oh, she's terrible.
Thriller
Her life being a mess because of Hulk.
Brett
Look at her. Is this cuss.
Thriller
I don't know what's on her.
Brett
Brooke doesn't talk to us. She's had twins. She got married. She didn't tell us she had twins. She didn't tell us. Chorizo on her cheek. I don't know how that reflected on. She looks like Aaron Neville now too. I haven't talked to her for seven years. Almost eight years now. Man.
Thriller
It's like Brooke kind of responded. There's a long story behind.
Brett
There's a reason.
Thriller
Yeah.
Brett
She looks like the end of the movie that Demi Moore was just in the serum or whatever that thing was the solution. She turns into a monster towards the end. What is the thing growing off her face?
Michael
A remnant. I don't know.
Brett
It is a remnant of something else.
Michael
I'm just staring at it.
Brett
Yeah. I can't not look at that.
Thriller
Maybe she's plowing through some chocolates.
Brett
She's got one on the other side too.
Michael
I don't like if there's two. Maybe it's like a long term smoking thing.
Brett
People put gashes out on it.
Michael
Not even that. I think your body grossed after a while. You think after a lifetime of smoking. I'd be shocked.
Thriller
Smoking, gross.
Brett
You smokers just have. You think they just have like bowls start to.
Michael
Hey, if you're that age.
Brett
Wow, that's ageism. And you're. You're really. I think Hulk made the right choice though. She said Hulk's a sex addict, but never was that. Yeah. That's the funny thing is like because he hadn't had it in so many years, she kept saying he's a sex addict because he kept going out and he keeps having sex with all these other people. I'm like, have you looked in the mirror? You've got. You've got half a burrito on your cheek. Sorry. I can't stop looking at Thrillers hair. He's gorgeous.
Thriller
Back in 1994, would you date a.
Brett
Girl with a thing like a limp?
Michael
What kind of thing?
Brett
You know she's wobble.
Michael
I thought you meant downstairs.
Brett
Yeah. You know what I mean. She's got a wang.
Michael
It'd be kind of funny, but it would have to be. It had to be less bad than mine.
Brett
You'd have to be the worst in the house. Yes. Okay. Yes, you are you the. Like, your. Your limp is no further than this.
Michael
Yes.
Brett
Okay, so you would date someone.
Thriller
So it is a deal breaker.
Brett
But it's a deal breaker if she's got double. Like, if she's.
Michael
I just feel bad at that point because she's. Why take advantage of her and, like.
Brett
To bone in somebody who's sick.
Michael
Yeah. It's like, literally, like, you cannot. I know you can't run because I can't run either.
Brett
Right. But I'd like to watch you guys have, like. He's Malibu's most wanted fun play. You do look like Jamie Kennedy a little bit.
Michael
A little bit.
Brett
It's a Jamie Kennedy hair. It looks good. I'm proud of Thriller, I think. Are you going out or something? You got a date?
Michael
No, I just wanted to shake it up.
Brett
Are you trying to swing somebody or you got your eyes on someone? You're like, I just step it up. Nothing.
Michael
Doing it for myself.
Brett
I like this.
Thriller
To throw it up there, Brett. We might put that up on our.
Brett
Yeah. Get a picture of Thriller.
Thriller
And let's get him, ladies.
Brett
Let's get him a date with somebody who has a limp no bigger than six out of ten.
Michael
Yeah.
Brett
Still. Email pictures of D. Toledo98kupd.com. Nobody in a wheelchair, Maybe.
Thriller
What about missing limbs?
Brett
Yeah, anything missing rats out on air?
Michael
Maybe an arm. Would that be the extent?
Brett
So she can possibly not have one arm?
Michael
Yes.
Brett
All right, that's. That's pretty good. That's liberal. I say no to that. I'm out.
Michael
You're.
Thriller
You're like Limb.
Brett
I don't like a girl with a missing fingernail. Like, if she. One of her Lee Press ons pops off, she needs to go to the hospital. All right. Do you want us to set you up? We will.
Michael
No, I'm fine.
Brett
Come on, Thriller. This is great. We got to use this new hairdo.
Michael
I'll do it myself.
Brett
All right. How's that going?
Michael
Pretty good so far.
Brett
Really?
Michael
I mean, what do you got? I didn't think you would push further on that.
Brett
I'm pushing back, unlike you. You haven't been listening to the show long, apparently. I mean, come on. You know he's gonna push. Come on, Cory.
Michael
Yeah.
Thriller
All right, finish up Dolly parton. Back in 1994, bought a mountainside cabin in Idlewild, California, for 126,000, and she donated to Ronald McDonald House in 2023. But now it's back for sale if you want it. It's on the market. Available for 768,000. Includes a toilet that looks like a guitar.
Brett
Ronald McDonald sold it back.
Thriller
They're unloading it.
Brett
What a man. What, they don't have any more sick kids in Idaho.
Thriller
They need the money.
Brett
They should give it back. Yeah, give it back to dolly or at least to another toilet. They kept the dolly parton guitar.
Thriller
Yeah.
Brett
For orphans or something.
Thriller
Yeah.
Brett
Yeah.
Thriller
It was for, like, six like or people that.
Brett
Yeah. Yeah. I think they have something wrong with them. Don't.
Michael
Don't look at me.
Brett
I'm just gonna say I was gonna ask you if you were there.
Michael
I never. It's never offered.
Brett
Parents loved you, so they can't.
Thriller
It's kind of cool to have in the house because you're like, I gotta go play the guitar.
Brett
Dolly's okay. That's it. That's why. Never mind. I'm done with you. Stop it.
Thriller
All right.
Brett
I know. Brett, I'm with you.
Michael
It's Friday.
Brett
All right. We'll get it through it. A starting to do is I got a weekend with Kirby. His brother's been here. He's been waiting.
Thriller
Kicking him out today.
Brett
The dad jokes have been flying around the house, so you got to give him a break. We got thriller here. That means he's ready to host those squares.
Thriller
Tinted thriller.
Brett
That's right. Let's get the squares together. Yeah. Tinted, sexy. Thriller is here. That's impressive. What was the other.
Michael
So real quick in the fall, I did, like, a darker highlight. You didn't really see much of that, though. It was kind of fitting when I got in here. But during the spring, I do a lighter highlight.
Brett
Yeah.
Michael
Yeah.
Brett
It's good. And I just can't imagine that you're doing that because the spring. I think you got your eye on somebody.
Michael
I'm just doing for fun.
Brett
And you stepped it up.
Michael
This feels nice.
Brett
Okay. I don't know that feeling.
Michael
It feels nice to look good and have hair. I'm also doing what you can't do.
Brett
Well, I'm walking, so take that shot at my problem.
Michael
That's fair.
Brett
If you want to play the squares. 5, 8, 5, 9, 800. We need a girl. We need a boy. We'll play those squares. Next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rocket station. It's out of control now 98 hi.
Larry McFeely
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Wayne
This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the the consequences of Past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: March 28, 2025 Title: Entertainment Drill - Megan Fox Has Given Birth - List Of People Who've Sold Their Souls To The Devil - Thriller Has New Hair Highlights
John Holmberg kicks off the episode by promoting local comedy events in Arizona. He highlights performances across various venues:
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg [00:08]: "Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Verze on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday."
The hosts delve into celebrity news, focusing on Megan Fox and her ex-fiancé, Machine Gun Kelly (MGK):
Discussion Points:
Notable Quotes:
Brett [04:00]: "Machine Gun Kelly is maybe developed into the most punchable pseudo celebrity on the Planet."
Thriller [04:19]: "MGK composed a little music for the birthing. He got help from Travis Barker and Big Slim and a few others."
A significant portion of the episode focuses on a humorous segment where the hosts discuss celebrities who allegedly "sold their souls to the devil." They explore public perceptions and the exaggerated fame of various personalities.
Key Personalities Discussed:
Notable Quotes:
Brett [07:46]: "Machine Gun Kelly, we just said that."
Thriller [08:02]: "They said nobody gets to be that rich and famous by simply saying another one."
The hosts engage in playful conversations, discussing personal updates and humorous observations:
Thriller’s New Hair Highlights: Michael showcases his new hairdo, receiving compliments from Brett. The discussion humorously touches on the challenges of dating with a new look. [12:24]
Brooke Hogan’s Transformation: The conversation shifts to Hulk Hogan’s ex, Brooke Hogan, who has undergone a significant transformation, leading to speculations and jokes about her appearance. [14:00]
Dolly Parton's Mountaian Cabin Sale: An amusing anecdote about Dolly Parton selling her mountainside cabin, originally bought for charity, now listed with an unusually guitar-shaped toilet. [17:07]
Notable Quotes:
Brett [15:12]: "Hulk Hogan made the right choice though. She said Hulk's a sex addict, but never was that."
Michael [17:03]: "Real easy, Rogers."
Towards the episode's end, the hosts encourage listener interaction and participation:
Dating Requests: A humorous proposal to set up listeners based on specific criteria, such as missing limbs, leading to playful refusals. [16:57]
Listener Calls and Questions: Although not detailed in the transcript, the dynamic between the hosts suggests ongoing caller interactions and spontaneous discussions.
Notable Quotes:
Brett [17:29]: "Nobody in a wheelchair, Maybe."
Michael [17:47]: "I'll do it myself."
The episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness blends celebrity gossip, humorous segments, and light-hearted banter, maintaining an engaging and entertaining atmosphere for listeners. The hosts successfully weave in local entertainment promotions while keeping the conversation lively and relatable.
Highlighted Quotes:
John Holmberg [00:08]: "Get out to the Tempe Improv on the east side to see Paul Verze on Thursday and Beth Stelling Friday, Saturday and Sunday."
Brett [04:00]: "Machine Gun Kelly is maybe developed into the most punchable pseudo celebrity on the Planet."
Thriller [08:02]: "They said nobody gets to be that rich and famous by simply saying another one."
Brett [15:12]: "Hulk Hogan made the right choice though. She said Hulk's a sex addict, but never was that."
Note: This summary excludes all advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the provided instructions, focusing solely on the substantive discussions and interactions between the hosts.