Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: March 31, 2025
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Release Date: March 31, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg, along with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, dives into two primary topics: Brady's experience judging the Four Peaks BBQ Contest and John's drastic reaction to elementary school children performing the National Anthem at a Diamondbacks/ Cubs game.

Brady’s Four Peaks BBQ Contest Judging

Time Stamps: 01:19 - 08:16

The segment begins with Brady recounting his role as a judge at the Four Peaks BBQ Contest. John Holmberg introduces the topic with enthusiasm, setting the stage for an in-depth discussion.

• Judging Ribs:

  • John Holmberg (01:19): "What a weekend. Ridiculous. We live in paradise."
  • Brett (01:48): "Gonna eat ribs for a year."
  • John Holmberg (02:00): "Brady getting to judge the ribbiting contest is like you and I going and saying who's the best one at this. That's his world of... his dirty, dirty sex thing."

• Mentorship and Judging Process:

  • Brett (02:16): Discusses mentoring Josh Colementer, a first-time judge.
  • John Holmberg (02:49): "You can't eat the whole bone. Just a bite."
  • Brett (03:12): "They had five categories of tenderness, taste, presentation... Helping Vets Barbecue won the best ribs."

• Auctioning 'Fart Art':

  • Brett (05:53): "I found a box of old Porkopolis shirts. So I said, donate to AZ Humane Society."
  • John Holmberg (06:19): "Gave some money to the Humane Society. Excellent job."
  • Brett (07:15): Mentions Mike West at the event with Barbecue Island.

• Overall Experience:

  • Brett (05:35): "They made a cheesecake. I didn't judge that. I had to..."
  • John Holmberg (08:06): "You probably should check it out. They have a beer garden going over there."

Notable Highlights:

• The rigorous judging process involved tasting and evaluating 18 different ribs and additional dishes incorporating Kill License beer.
• Brett successfully auctioned off humorous 'fart art' memorabilia, raising funds for the AZ Humane Society.
• The panel humorously critiques the communal nature of BBQ contests, with John expressing distrust in shared food setups.

John’s Reaction to Preschoolers Singing the National Anthem

Time Stamps: 12:30 - 34:37

The second major topic shifts to John Holmberg's vehement reaction to preschool children performing the National Anthem at a Diamondbacks/Cubs game, leading to a hyperbolic declaration of joining Al Qaeda.

• Event Description:

  • Toledo (12:44): "The Arizona Diamondbacks and the Chicago Cubs invite you to join in the singing of the Star Spangled Band performed by students from the Solel preschool in Paradise."
  • John Holmberg (12:30): "I joined Al Qaeda this weekend. I joined. I'm not an American anymore."

• Emotional Outburst and Criticism:

  • John Holmberg (13:26): "No, put it back on. Bright. You have to... I just really can't believe that was allowed."
  • Brett (16:55): "She'd probably look. I'd watch that."
  • John Holmberg (17:43): "The school is entitled rich white women who happen to know someone at the Diamondbacks... We're friends with Colin Maxey. I need to talk to Cullen."

• Mock Call to Action:

  • John Holmberg (34:37): "Give us a wake-up song. 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's nice. A good one."

• Further Critique and Satire:

  • John Holmberg (24:51): "Stoopes from the Solel Preschool in Paradise Valley... It would have been great if the big voice guy was like, 'We're gonna put a stop to this any second now.'"
  • Brett (27:33): "I still hoping that was hot Mike in the announcement."
  • John Holmberg (34:36): "If it's under 7 years old, reach over there right now and just give it a little smack."

Notable Highlights:

• John expresses exaggerated frustration and disillusionment with the inclusion of preschoolers in performing the National Anthem, humorously threatening to join extremist groups.
• The conversation includes satirical suggestions on how to handle such performances, emphasizing the hosts' disdain through hyperbolic statements.
• The co-hosts engage in playful banter, escalating John’s mock outrage and reinforcing the comedic tone of the discussion.

Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Holmberg's Morning Sickness blends humor with sharp critiques of local events. The hosts effectively use satire to highlight their disdain for perceived lapses in quality and professionalism, whether it's in a BBQ contest or a minor league baseball game's ceremonial performances. Notably, the inclusion of exaggerated reactions and humorous commentary keeps the content engaging and entertaining for listeners.

Notable Quotes

1. John Holmberg (02:00):
   "Brady getting to judge the ribbiting contest is like you and I going and saying who's the best one at this. That's his world of... his dirty, dirty sex thing."

2. Brett (05:53):
   "I found a box of old Porkopolis shirts. So I said, donate to AZ Humane Society."

3. John Holmberg (12:30):
   "I joined Al Qaeda this weekend. I joined. I'm not an American anymore."

4. John Holmberg (34:37):
   "Give us a wake-up song. 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's nice. A good one."

5. John Holmberg (34:36):
   "If it's under 7 years old, reach over there right now and just give it a little smack."

Key Takeaways

• Humorous Critique: The hosts employ humor and satire to express their opinions on local events, making light of their frustrations while engaging the audience.

• Community Engagement: The discussion about the BBQ contest highlights community events and charitable activities, showcasing local engagement.

• Hyperbole for Effect: John Holmberg's exaggerated reactions serve as a comedic tool to emphasize his dissatisfaction, maintaining an entertaining tone throughout the episode.

For those who haven't tuned in, this episode offers a lively and comedic take on local Arizona happenings, blending light-hearted banter with sharp-witted critiques.