03-31-25 - Did Brady Eat Too Much At His Four Peaks BBQ Contest Judging - John May Join Al Qaeda After Hearing Elementary School Kids Sing National Anthem Before DBacks/Cubs Game

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: March 31, 2025
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Release Date: March 31, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg, along with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, dives into two primary topics: Brady's experience judging the Four Peaks BBQ Contest and John's drastic reaction to elementary school children performing the National Anthem at a Diamondbacks/ Cubs game.

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Brady’s Four Peaks BBQ Contest Judging

Time Stamps: 01:19 - 08:16

The segment begins with Brady recounting his role as a judge at the Four Peaks BBQ Contest. John Holmberg introduces the topic with enthusiasm, setting the stage for an in-depth discussion.

• Judging Ribs:

  • John Holmberg (01:19): "What a weekend. Ridiculous. We live in paradise."
  • Brett (01:48): "Gonna eat ribs for a year."
  • John Holmberg (02:00): "Brady getting to judge the ribbiting contest is like you and I going and saying who's the best one at this. That's his world of... his dirty, dirty sex thing."

• Mentorship and Judging Process:

  • Brett (02:16): Discusses mentoring Josh Colementer, a first-time judge.
  • John Holmberg (02:49): "You can't eat the whole bone. Just a bite."
  • Brett (03:12): "They had five categories of tenderness, taste, presentation... Helping Vets Barbecue won the best ribs."

• Auctioning 'Fart Art':

  • Brett (05:53): "I found a box of old Porkopolis shirts. So I said, donate to AZ Humane Society."
  • John Holmberg (06:19): "Gave some money to the Humane Society. Excellent job."
  • Brett (07:15): Mentions Mike West at the event with Barbecue Island.

• Overall Experience:

  • Brett (05:35): "They made a cheesecake. I didn't judge that. I had to..."
  • John Holmberg (08:06): "You probably should check it out. They have a beer garden going over there."

Notable Highlights:

• The rigorous judging process involved tasting and evaluating 18 different ribs and additional dishes incorporating Kill License beer.
• Brett successfully auctioned off humorous 'fart art' memorabilia, raising funds for the AZ Humane Society.
• The panel humorously critiques the communal nature of BBQ contests, with John expressing distrust in shared food setups.

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John’s Reaction to Preschoolers Singing the National Anthem

Time Stamps: 12:30 - 34:37

The second major topic shifts to John Holmberg's vehement reaction to preschool children performing the National Anthem at a Diamondbacks/Cubs game, leading to a hyperbolic declaration of joining Al Qaeda.

• Event Description:

  • Toledo (12:44): "The Arizona Diamondbacks and the Chicago Cubs invite you to join in the singing of the Star Spangled Band performed by students from the Solel preschool in Paradise."
  • John Holmberg (12:30): "I joined Al Qaeda this weekend. I joined. I'm not an American anymore."

• Emotional Outburst and Criticism:

  • John Holmberg (13:26): "No, put it back on. Bright. You have to... I just really can't believe that was allowed."
  • Brett (16:55): "She'd probably look. I'd watch that."
  • John Holmberg (17:43): "The school is entitled rich white women who happen to know someone at the Diamondbacks... We're friends with Colin Maxey. I need to talk to Cullen."

• Mock Call to Action:

  • John Holmberg (34:37): "Give us a wake-up song. 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's nice. A good one."

• Further Critique and Satire:

  • John Holmberg (24:51): "Stoopes from the Solel Preschool in Paradise Valley... It would have been great if the big voice guy was like, 'We're gonna put a stop to this any second now.'"
  • Brett (27:33): "I still hoping that was hot Mike in the announcement."
  • John Holmberg (34:36): "If it's under 7 years old, reach over there right now and just give it a little smack."

Notable Highlights:

• John expresses exaggerated frustration and disillusionment with the inclusion of preschoolers in performing the National Anthem, humorously threatening to join extremist groups.
• The conversation includes satirical suggestions on how to handle such performances, emphasizing the hosts' disdain through hyperbolic statements.
• The co-hosts engage in playful banter, escalating John’s mock outrage and reinforcing the comedic tone of the discussion.

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Holmberg's Morning Sickness blends humor with sharp critiques of local events. The hosts effectively use satire to highlight their disdain for perceived lapses in quality and professionalism, whether it's in a BBQ contest or a minor league baseball game's ceremonial performances. Notably, the inclusion of exaggerated reactions and humorous commentary keeps the content engaging and entertaining for listeners.

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Notable Quotes

1. John Holmberg (02:00):
   "Brady getting to judge the ribbiting contest is like you and I going and saying who's the best one at this. That's his world of... his dirty, dirty sex thing."

2. Brett (05:53):
   "I found a box of old Porkopolis shirts. So I said, donate to AZ Humane Society."

3. John Holmberg (12:30):
   "I joined Al Qaeda this weekend. I joined. I'm not an American anymore."

4. John Holmberg (34:37):
   "Give us a wake-up song. 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's nice. A good one."

5. John Holmberg (34:36):
   "If it's under 7 years old, reach over there right now and just give it a little smack."

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Key Takeaways

• Humorous Critique: The hosts employ humor and satire to express their opinions on local events, making light of their frustrations while engaging the audience.

• Community Engagement: The discussion about the BBQ contest highlights community events and charitable activities, showcasing local engagement.

• Hyperbole for Effect: John Holmberg's exaggerated reactions serve as a comedic tool to emphasize his dissatisfaction, maintaining an entertaining tone throughout the episode.

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For those who haven't tuned in, this episode offers a lively and comedic take on local Arizona happenings, blending light-hearted banter with sharp-witted critiques.

Transcript

[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Unknown]

Join the Big Red Radio in Tempe at Four Peaks Wilson Tasting Room Friday, April 18 from 6 to 8pm for the post Big Red Easter Keg Hunt party. Wilson Tasting room located at 2401 S. Wilson St. That's West Alameda Drive and Wilson street in Tempe. Someone's gonna be taking home $5,000 as the grand prize of the Big Red Easter Keg Hunt. The grand prize winner will be announced at 8pm sharp there early Friday, April 18th at Four Peaks Brewing's Wilson Tasting Room in Tempe. Visit 98kupd.com for details.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about FanDuel, America's number one sports book. Check out some of their exclusive promotions, too. Dinger Tuesday is back. That's awesome. And right now, new customers get $200 in bonus bets with any winning $5 bet. Visit FanDuel.com KUPD to make every moment more 21 plus in present Arizona, first online real money wager only. $5. First deposit required. Bon. Non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] Gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text NEXT STEP to 53342. You thought that was funny?

[Brett]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It is 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Toledo. This is the morning sickness for another week of your lives. And ready to go for a glorious what is. What a weekend. What a weekend. Ridiculous. We live in paradise. And I gotta tell you, I not.

[Brett]

Gonna eat ribs for a year.

[John Holmberg]

Why is that? You ate two. Oh, you had your market. How was your. How was that?

[Brett]

It's pretty. Pretty amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty fantastic. That's like a blowjob contest for you. Like, let me judge all the blowjobs and.

[Brady]

Oh, that's what it's like.

[John Holmberg]

Well, for him, like to put it in perspective of a normal man, Brady getting to judge the ribbiting contest is like you and I going and saying who's. Who's the best one at this. That's his world of. That's his dirty, dirty sex thing.

[Brett]

And I got to, you know, I had a pat. A young padawan with Me. He never judged before.

[John Holmberg]

You have a mentor and a mentee.

[Brett]

Josh Colementer was one of the other judges. Former back. Yeah. And he had never done something like that. And I go, well, get ready.

[John Holmberg]

He'd never eaten.

[Brett]

Hold on.

[John Holmberg]

Let's not put too much weight on what you're doing. Everyone's eaten and enjoyed and judged.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's what you do every time you take a bite.

[Brett]

Yeah. But not 18 different ribs.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. So you told them what to look for. The subtle nuance of ribbon.

[Brett]

I said, pace yourself. That's all. I warned him, don't eat a full bone.

[John Holmberg]

You can't eat the whole bone. Just a bite.

[Brett]

Just take a bite.

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Brady]

Let's go back to the blowjob contest.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cause that's what. See, this is why I'm saying, like, you and I would never do this. Like, this is dumb. And that's such a. It's like a huge waste of food. But people love it. Go on.

[Brett]

It was passed.

[John Holmberg]

And so you took a nibble, and then you handed it over to Josh Colementer.

[Brett]

Then you have a sheet that gives you five categories of, you know, tenderness, taste, presentation. And that's how they average that out at the end. So the people that won Helping Vets Barbecue won the best ribs.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Is that a place or is that just a bunch of guys with a name? That's their name, but that's what I mean. It's like, do they have a place?

[Brett]

No. Most of these guys in the vet are doing catering. No, I don't think there are too many brick and mortar restaurants.

[Brady]

Like, they're semi pro.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But you can order food from them.

[Brett]

I think so, yes.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know, though.

[Brett]

I don't know for sure. On Helping Vets Barbecue was there to eat.

[John Holmberg]

He was just. He. He was singularly focused, Brett. And they had good.

[Brett]

There's a people's choice, so people's choice. They go around. Because these guys, like, you were worried about for people that. Can they eat. Can they try some of these ribs? Well, they not only made ribs, they made other stuff that you could taste for, you know, two bucks a throw. So everything from.

[John Holmberg]

You went crazy.

[Brett]

Cheesecake. No, I didn't. Because I had to.

[John Holmberg]

You were judging. You were responsible judge.

[Brett]

And then I didn't know I had to judge the. What they called the. They do an open category where you had to incorporate kilt lifter beer into the recipe.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, cool.

[Brett]

It was kind of cool, but, you know, it was. So they're pouring 18 more dishes, everything from a cheesecake.

[John Holmberg]

And you had to try all of it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't have to. You volunteered to do that.

[Brett]

He's like, I do my job.

[John Holmberg]

If they told you in the middle of the blowjob contest. By the way, we're also going to do the. The one tooth girl blow jobs over here in the corner. And they have to have kilt lifter in their mouth. Like, you know what? I'm going to go for 18 more. It's. It makes sense for us normal people. You tell me I've got 36 meals to eat. I'm pretty much telling you I don't want to play.

[Brady]

So you had 36 ribs?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

No, just 18.

[Brady]

I thought you had the other.

[John Holmberg]

But he had another 18.

[Brett]

18.

[John Holmberg]

That's not ribs.

[Brett]

It's basically a recipe that they incorporated in.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett]

A stuffing. Someone did a stuffing. Someone did a cheesecake.

[John Holmberg]

And you clobbered 18 of those as well.

[Brett]

Tasted 18 of those.

[John Holmberg]

Good Lord. Pork.

[Brett]

What's that?

[Brady]

Beef or pork?

[Brett]

Yeah, all the above. It could be, you know, just incorporate kill that went to Schwab's barbecue.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And that's a real place.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brett]

I don't know if it's a brick and mortar. I think it's just people's house catering.

[John Holmberg]

And then you just call them and they'll make food.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Either way.

[Brett]

And that was the coolest thing before I came, I found a box of old Porkopolis shirts.

[John Holmberg]

You're handing those out.

[Brady]

I saw that.

[Brett]

So I said, you donate to AZ Humane Society. And then I had two pictures from the bathrooms. That Borg office. They're the fart art.

[John Holmberg]

Getting rid of some stuff.

[Brett]

Yeah. So I auction those out. Thousand dollars. Nice society.

[John Holmberg]

Excellent job. Not only did you clean out your closet, he gave money to the Humane Society. Whatever. I got a smaller unit now.

[Brett]

So I did one online on. On the insta of the picture. I had two of the paintings and then one.

[John Holmberg]

Those of you who don't know, in Brady's bathrooms at his old restaurant, there were Asian people blowing farts. Yeah.

[Brett]

The artwork's over a thousand years old.

[John Holmberg]

The idea. The print was not.

[Brett]

No, the print.

[John Holmberg]

You did not auction off a thousand.

[Brett]

And I signed the back. We gone, Brady, you know.

[John Holmberg]

What an odd afternoon. Yeah. All right. Well then there you go. And then you start to auction off your stuff.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Which is good. And gave some money away. All great.

[Brett]

On the Instagram bid. The winning bidder, Jeff Jr. From Trajan Wells.

[John Holmberg]

Jeff Jr. Got on. He liked the fart art. Was he there?

[Brett]

He was.

[John Holmberg]

Not just on the ig.

[Brett]

Yeah, he saw.

[John Holmberg]

Good for him. Nice job, Jeff. Thank you. For Jeff Jr. Doing his part, the wonderful thing.

[Brett]

And then Mike west was out at the event with barbecue island. He got the second point.

[John Holmberg]

All right. And this took hours.

[Brett]

Probably did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Basically, I was out there for.

[John Holmberg]

There's Brady.

[Brett]

There it is.

[John Holmberg]

Or Andy Reid. I can't tell. But there he is, holding up his artwork from Porkopolis. It's beautiful, and it is pictures of Asians just farting. Drawings. Artwork that Brady had in his bathrooms at Porkopolis. Very funny. But bathroom art, actually.

[Brady]

There's the win.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. The champion. 18 ribs, 18 different dishes. 150 bucks, man. And then you sat down and enjoyed a meal, I'm sure, of the best one.

[Brett]

No, no, no, no, no. I just did the tasting.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the knockouts. All right.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's this mentee, and that's you and.

[Brett]

Colementer, and that's Jason from Green Mountain Grill.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. There you go. What a day. Brady and his big barbecue Saturday. Forgot you did that. It's pretty good stuff.

[Brett]

You probably should check it out.

[John Holmberg]

Go and eat while they got the.

[Brett]

Beer garden going over there. The taste room.

[John Holmberg]

I like that.

[Brett]

Good combo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just wander around. But I don't like food sitting out. Food. Like, I can't do that.

[Brett]

They have it in catering trays, basically.

[John Holmberg]

But it's on a community food table. Yeah, it's community food. People walking by, breathing on it. I can't. Can't do it. I can't even think about it. It's just. It's nauseating to think of those silver tins. That's. I'm already out. When I see those set up, I'm done. Like, oh, I'm not eating here. And I don't. It's not because the place is bad or anything else, because general humanity can walk by. You will walk by and bite once, and I don't know where the rest of that's gonna go or how many times you ever watch somebody try to reach into a bag of chips, it takes them a half an hour to get a chip out. Blech. So when you allow everybody to go after what they want, that's all I think about is their dirty booger hands all over everything or dipping in there, sneezing or. I don't know what's going on. So I don't trust the tins. You like it?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You're into the. There's a. Like, you See that silver tin and you get excited about what's going in it. I see it and I feel that foil back. I gotta find somewhere else to eat.

[Brett]

Move that bus.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, move that bus. Yeah. I look at it and I'm like, I gotta get out of here. I can't. There's no possible way I'm eating any of this. I can't do it. That weddings that our friend Chris's wedding that time and everybody was raving about the Mexican food or whatever they had. And I just saw that line of humanity just one after. It was just not. It made me like this one at least.

[Brett]

Yet you had 18 booth.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Barbecue out there.

[John Holmberg]

Were people allowed at those booths before you to reach in and get something that you were going to eat?

[Brett]

No, they do the. The competition ribs differently.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. But. But the food that people ate were all in bunches on table. I can't do it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I need to see a therapist about it. I can't. I cannot eat community food. It's just the weirdest thing in the world to me. And even stranger. Like at the Sounds you have a.

[Brett]

Tough time even at food trucks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I want to eat food trucks.

[Brett]

I want to eat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I can't do that. And I'm probably. Somebody was telling me that this week you're missing. Oh, my buddy Jay was like, you're missing out on some. We went to a Diamondbacks game. He's like, you got to try some of that. I'm like, I can't. I cannot eat at a place that could drive away from a health inspector. If your restaurant could get into a high speed chase, I can't eat there. I just. It can't be done. I don't know. I just assume that you. And it's probably, you know, 90% of the time, fine. But the 10% that isn't the Mexican sushi joint that parked on 83rd Avenue. And I can't. I can't even imagine. And there was a line of people that are like, what is that 110 degree day sushi in a truck. It's everything I was raised to not do.

[Brett]

That's a little tough concept there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But all of it is to me, food out of the back of a truck. Just because the truck's dressed up doesn't make that like it. It's scary.

[Brett]

And sometimes you see the truck that's not dressed up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, those are. Well, sure. That's the act should just be arrested on the spot. There's nothing about that that should be allowed but yeah, you put a sticker on your car and all of a sudden it's a kitchen. I don't buy it. I don't think that's real. I think that's definitely a plot by Al Qaeda.

[Brady]

You know nowadays it's tougher, tougher to get the news between social media and news outlets leaning one way or another. And look, this isn't about taking sides. This is about getting the information for yourself. And there's one source to get all the news that's not one sided. And as a matter of fact, this source gives you all sides in one place and that's Ground news. Ground News is your one stop shop to get all the news from all the sides, yours, theirs and everything in between. Ground News takes all sides and lets you form your own opinion by posting all the news from all the different leaning services so you can make the comparisons and form your own opinion. And you get to read what the Guardian, Fox News and even what the social media sites are posting. And the best part is you can get it all@ground news.com and right now you can get 40% off their unlimited access Vantage subscription by going to ground news.comberg. that's ground news.comberg. why be persuaded by social media, big business and news outlets with their own agenda? Check out groundnews.com today and form your own opinion. And don't forget to save yourself that 40% right now by going to ground news.comberg.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg'S morning sickness. Speaking of, I joined Al Qaeda this weekend. I joined. I'm not an American anymore. I don't want to be. Death to America. I say you guys because this happened and I never want to be part of this country again.

[Toledo]

The Arizona Dynabacks and the Chicago Cubs invite you to join this is Real of the Star Spangled Band performed by students from the Solel preschool in Paradise.

[Brady]

Had a left.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no. Is that the baseball stadium? Oh God, that's me. Sounds great. Cuz it sounds like they announced this is real. This happened to our country. Right now I'm halfway through my, my questionnaire for. No, we're going to listen to the whole thing.

[Brett]

We got a new soundtrac. Actual prisoners.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. People died for this. Prisoners.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You want to end the war over in Ukraine? Play this. Get Mo.

[Brett]

Put them in the. In the cells.

[John Holmberg]

No, put it back on. Bright. You have to. I have to do it. You have to. I know.

[Brett]

Listen to those cherubs.

[John Holmberg]

No, I've never been for beating kids more the extended Version.

[Brady]

I mean, this thing seems to go on forever.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa. Roseanne Bar couldn't get a job.

[Brett]

And the that put their heart online auditioning. I got beat out by this.

[John Holmberg]

Listen to this. It's not getting better.

[Brett]

So cute.

[John Holmberg]

No. Listen to the crowd. No. No clapping. No clapping. How in the world did that not get like, every parent should have been arrested for domestic violence against me, man. That happened.

[Brett]

Did they win the game?

[John Holmberg]

That was Saturday. No. Did they win Saturday? No. Saturday. So. No, it was yesterday. They did win yesterday's game.

[Brett]

That was not enough torpedo bats.

[Brady]

That should be a commercial for Dr. Lynn right there.

[John Holmberg]

That was preschoolers in a bunch honking out what used to be a respectable moment of our. Of our nation. Like, stop.

[Brady]

Bring back.

[John Holmberg]

I'll listen to anything other than that one kid singing is bad. 30 under five. You taught him the anthem and said, you know, it'd be a good idea to take this out in front of 25,000 people and honk this. Yeah, I joined Al Qaeda immediately. I.

[Brett]

Maybe next week they'll do kazoos.

[John Holmberg]

Kazoos would at least be. Yes. Kazoos would be adorable by comparison. Couldn't believe. I couldn't believe that was allowed. And it started. You know, the dude had to do the announcing.

[Toledo]

The Arizona Diamondbacks.

[John Holmberg]

Like, he knew what was coming. This son of a bitch is in on he's an Accomplice.

[Toledo]

Performed by students right here from the Solel preschool in Paradise Valley.

[John Holmberg]

Close that school and you hear me immediately. Oh, no. Yeah. You can't.

[Brett]

I thought it was like, Jeff Munn moaning.

[John Holmberg]

It would have been great if the big voice guy was like, oh, no. Fans, divert your ears.

[Brett]

Turn his mic down.

[John Holmberg]

We forgot it was run for your lives. 30 preschoolers are about to ruin our nation.

[Brett]

I don't even know if Jeff want to steal the announcer.

[John Holmberg]

No. Come on. We have to respect our country more. They're not cute. That's not cute. Slap that kid. He can't sing. Why is that something we tolerate? Why is that? They're children. Yeah, but somebody put them up to it. I give it to you. Their kids. They don't know any different. I'm mad at them. I'm mad at whoever allowed this. Who's the preschool teacher that's blowing somebody at the Diamondbacks that got them on the field because that's the only way this happens. Because the only reason that she would sit and teach these kids for a month. Fire her first right away. She should be deported. Brittney Griner is less of a an American criminal Than Jeff.

[Brett]

She's next week.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh. Oh, you know what? She'd probably look. I'd watch that. That would be pretty funny. But my God. Couldn't believe it was allowed and not like people just didn't go, okay, stop. We get it. We get it. That's enough. We'll finish it in our heads. Nope, There it was right in front of you. And everybody at the end was like, oh, that's what. Not me. Boo. What was that? None of them should be allowed to have jobs ever in their lives. Those kids that if Roseanne Barr had to, you know, explain herself after her national anthem and anytime somebody goofs it up, they get ridiculed forever. But we don't do it to 4 year olds because they're 4 year olds. Find me the woman in charge of whatever school that was. The Salil. Blah, blah, blah. Kim.

[Brett]

John would have that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Yeah. You know what? That's a good thing about North Korea. He wouldn't tolerate this. Yeah. Yeah. Al Qaeda was right. Al Qaeda was right. This is a nation that has too much going for it and screws around with things too often. That was ridiculous.

[Brett]

I didn't hear that until now.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brett]

It would have ruined the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it ruined. It destroyed the weekend. I couldn't. I can't stop thinking about it. I want to drive to that preschool today after work. Go over there and go, hey, can I get the kids rounded up here for. And the lady who put this in? Get you all round up. You want to sing that anthem again?

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Again, lady who put this up first? You're in. You're in front. Let's start. And a one and a two. End it, Brady. I can't. Those.

[Brady]

The only time it happened.

[John Holmberg]

That would be the end, huh?

[Brady]

It's not the only time.

[John Holmberg]

It's happened before this weekend. What?

[Brett]

They toured.

[John Holmberg]

So, dude, we were at Friday night's game and kids from Queen Creek elementary district did the anthem was almost as bad. And I was pissed. Told my wife that I pay money to be somewhere. I have an expectation there's not gonna be a bunch of kids doing stuff. Couldn't agree more. Tanner Cohen. I went on Saturday and they had a dude from. I think it was a Chandler Police or Fire. He belted out a beauty. I haven't. I haven't had those moments with the national anthem in a long time where like this dude, I mean, he belted out a Whopper and he stood there with his arm kind of in that 90 degree cook. The mic was perfect and he Just nailed it. I wanted to remember his name. And then those kids went and ruined my country, ruined my nation. John, on my way to drop, I.

[Brett]

Would have put out one kid.

[John Holmberg]

No, no one. Too many kids. No, we're paying. We're paying for something. We go to this like that Tanner guy just said, with an expectation that there are no children or non professionals doing things at all.

[Brett]

I know it's not my tempo. No, I'm gonna work with these kids.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, There is no help all day you can find.

[Brett]

Yeah, we gotta throw the towel.

[John Holmberg]

There aren't any five year olds in a bunch that can do better than this. That's what they all sound like. And we know that. And we keep rolling them out to do stuff. It's time we put a. I want them to do it. We have some sort of tariff on children. They pay extra if they want to be at things. It costs more. No more of this. Kids eat free stuff. Kids cost twice as much. You want your kids a grilled cheese. $35 for a grilled cheese. 40 bucks for one of them. Cheese crisps or quesadillas. Children's menu was through the moon. Get them away from us, Us paying adults. It's not our fault. You went and breed, had babies and then brought them around and then said, want to watch them perform stuff? Absolutely not. There's nothing I want to see less than a child doing something.

[Brady]

Matt said, john, I'm on my way to drop off my son to school. And he even said, that's terrible.

[John Holmberg]

He knows because he's older than four. Four year olds aren't allowed to do stuff. When I heard that performed by students.

[Toledo]

From the Solel preschool in Paradise Valley.

[John Holmberg]

Right there. That guy knew. That guy knew when he said, I thought that was him saying, I know.

[Brett]

It was a great lens.

[John Holmberg]

It was me. Oh no. Because when I hear performed by something preschool. Oh no. Automatically rolls out of my mouth. I will say, oh no. So fast too. Here's some kids from preschool. You want to watch them do something? Oh, no. Nothing good comes of that. Robert Greg driving to work and I just heard those kids singing, good God, I'm going to schedule a vasectomy today. Yeah. Because you know What? There's probably 20 parents who thought that was great because their kids were in it. They were the only ones enjoying that. That's it.

[Brett]

Could speed him up.

[John Holmberg]

Just strong appearances, you know, just put.

[Brett]

Him on the field and take the picture. No audio needed. Yeah, that was a special.

[John Holmberg]

Give him a special moment. Let them be kids in a Corner and shut the up, man.

[Brady]

We can bring the Michael Quartet, Michael McDonald Quartet out there to do this. I mean, we couldn't do any worse.

[John Holmberg]

But at least we're adults who know better. I like there is an. There are a. What was the name of that school again?

[Toledo]

And the Chicago Cubs invite you to join in the singing of the Star Spangled Band performed by Stoops from the Solel Preschool in Paradise.

[John Holmberg]

I know where that is. Oh, no. That was my human reaction when I. When it went up on the screen. I'm like, solel, I believe that's up on Lincoln. So it's some rich ladies, kids. More than likely it's Kendrick's grandson. Kendricks. Yeah. I was just gonna say Ken Kendricks has a hand in this.

[Brett]

Hold on.

[John Holmberg]

If I have to say, you guys have to hear it. This guy. Remember when George C. Scott saw his daughter in that hardcore porn movie? In the movie hardcore and he kept going, turn it off.

[Brett]

Yeah, turn it off.

[John Holmberg]

That's this My beautiful nation.

[Brady]

I have Ronald in 68th Street.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. Yeah.

[Brett]

It's been a one or two players. Kids too. And the mom.

[John Holmberg]

What it is?

[Brett]

Wife. The player wife. Like I want in.

[John Holmberg]

The school is entitled rich white women who happen to know someone at the Diamondbacks who happen to know someone important in the operation. We're friends with Colin Maxey. I believe he's a higher up over there at the Diamondbacks. I need to talk to Cullen. I was there on Saturday and I talked to your guys, Studley, and I said, hey, any chance I can get a friend of mine and his daughter up into the booth so they can see that at any time? And he's like absolutely sent down. D legend. Dennis comes down, starts talking, gives us a tour. Amazing. I'm seeing Grace, I'm seeing Gonzo's back there. All these, you know, it's like Diamondbacks heaven. There's a bunch of old players, new players, everybody wandering around, go into the booth, they roll that out there. And I just wanted to burn the building down. Such, such a terrible morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Chicago Cubs and the Diamondbacks present. I'm sure the guys like, wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

We're just visiting.

[Brady]

We didn't sign up for this.

[John Holmberg]

It says it right here. Visitors. We didn't agree to that.

[Brady]

Get my team's name out your mouth.

[John Holmberg]

The Diamondbacks and the Cubs. Yes, you did. Would like to welcome. I would be. I need to be the in house voice of the Diamondbacks because I'd be like fans Please stand up and. Oh, wait. Nope, never mind. The National Anthem is canceled today. I just saw that. It's done by a bunch of preschoolers. You're welcome.

[Brett]

Get the recording.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Get that old record.

[Toledo]

Our Spangled Bear performed by Stoops.

[John Holmberg]

Right there. This dude needed to cut it off.

[Toledo]

Paradise Valley.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Oh, kid, it's just so bad. Why, why, why? Everyone should have just started screaming back, that was terrible. So, Diamondbacks, I try to be a fan of yours, and you do crap like this. It's no good.

[Brady]

You're going back.

[John Holmberg]

Not going back to the Cubs. You know, I know I'm not a Cub fan anymore. It's weird. I realized that this weekend watching the Cubs and Diamondbacks, and I'm. I was a lifelong Cub fan. I mean, it is. It's in me to love that Cub. When Pete Crow Armstrong, the center fielder for the Cubs, does stuff, I want to punch him. And if you're a fan of a team and you've got one of those guys, usually you're like, I know if he was somewhere else, I'd hate him, but he's ours, so I love him. Right.

[Brady]

AJ Przeinski with us.

[John Holmberg]

AJ Przeinski, perfect example. Oh, he's. He's. He looks like. And acts like Machine Gun Kelly, except for he's short and he's. And he's got no eyebrows. He's just annoying. Everything he does. He's hitting, like, 90. He's. Everything he does is, like, celebrated. He just has that punchable, squirrely little face. But if he was on your team, you'd be like, this dude covers so much ground. And he's. You know, but he's. And then I realized I'm like, oh, the Cubs aren't my team anymore because that guy's doing what he's supposed to do. I don't. I don't like him at all. Not even a little bit. So I realized right there, I've broken ties with my cups. It hurts a little now. I look over at the Diamondbacks, and I'm, like, trying to be a fan. I. I was cheering for them at the end of the night on. On Saturday. It was a good game. We had a great time. Diamondbacks ended up losing the game, but I was cheering for the Diamondbacks. Like, it was pretty great. And then yesterday, pretty happy for the Diamondbacks, but I have no heart in it as much as I'm trying. There's no love. There's no actual love. Basically, I'm just kind of the Diamondbacks. And then I want him to leave after the game's over. I'm like, can you go? I don't want you to stay the night.

[Brady]

Just some broady men at the bar.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're having some fun. You're doing a thing. You're like, that was fun, but no but, yeah. I don't feel it for the Cubs anymore, but the Diamondbacks keep doing that crap. And I'm not going to feel anything for them either. Kids singing. Tamara says, you know who loved that performance? The owner of that coffee shop down. All right. Going back to Friday coffee shop. Pedophile. Even that. Even they were. That was.

[Brett]

I put that on my mind.

[John Holmberg]

He drew lines at 14. Brett, high five. Oh, God. Yeah. I was sick by the whole thing.

[Brett]

I still hoping that was hot Mike in the announcement.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. It would be great if that guy was like, we're gonna put a stop to this any second now. That's all I wanted to hear at that point. Just, let's end it. I'm not for killing kids. Unless there's a whole bunch of them singing. Then I'm all about. And I'm like, you know that guy? I did the right thing. Kids, choirs. Oh, you have to be at least nine. And the song can't be meaningful. It has to be like, a minute long. Max. Oh, and I didn't see anybody. There's nobody enjoying themselves through that. People are just tolerating. Looking at the guy next to him like, can I say something? Will you? Is should we say something? I even text the TV booth and I said, well, that's it. I'm in Al Qaeda now. I don't want to be part of the United States. And Snyder. Scott text back. He goes, there are kids from Paradise Valley. They hate America. Like, I know we all think it. And then I had, you know, Brinley and Berthune come on right after. Well, that's a moment those kids will never forget. And I wanted Brinley so badly to say, neither will I, and then retire.

[Brett]

Not my cup of tea.

[John Holmberg]

Not anyone's cup of tea. If you have a kid that's about to sing for someone, stop it. Stop him like you would stop a murderer. Stop him like you know someone's about to get attacked. Like, you have Minority Report powers. Parents, when it comes to your kids performing, you get, this is where I don't understand parenthood. They get so blind to the idea that their kids are doing good things all the time that they forget what it's like to not have kids. And they forget how horrible it is when kids that aren't yours are doing stuff. Oh, it's the worst. For the love of God, please stop saying that. My ears, they bleed. That's your anthem. That's your national anthem. Cards and letters to AZ Diamondbacks1 North Central. I don't know where they are. Find it on. You can find it online. Google it. Email him. Ig them do something anyway.

[Brett]

One Jeff. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

One Jefferson. Yeah. No, he could have finished the whole thing. Can't write address. That's confusing to the.

[Brett]

They'll find it. Diamondbacks.

[John Holmberg]

Freddie likes to nickname Streets 1 Jeff.

[Brett]

Between Jeff and 7. D backs.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you this. Yeah, Care of D backs. Just put it in an envelope and go. What in the was that? Oh, they owe us an anthem. They owe us. And then that poor dude, that Saturday night guy, that Chandler cop, firefighter, whatever he was just completely beautiful rendition. It's like that. Let that guy do it every night, every day. Does anyone really care who does it so long as it's, like, done? Not that way. Like, not this. This is the only time you care. Otherwise, it's like, all right, anthem. I have friends who've been injured in war. They go to the baseball game and this. This is the thanks they get. This is what I fought for. I have post traumatic stress disorder. I got a friend who had 16 surgeries on his back because he was shaped like a lowercase C. When he came back, straightened him up. He's like, well, at the very least, every time I go to a sporting event, they'll honor the country I fought so hard for.

[Brett]

Will they let all the other ballparks experience that? Send it around?

[John Holmberg]

No. Punish the kids today. Take away their driver's license until they're 18 for just being part of it. More importantly, find the parents, find the school, that school. We get Trump over here, we're gonna take away their funding. No more. No more money for so little preschool. You wrecked the anthem.

[Brett]

You ruined it.

[John Holmberg]

Now I'm not gonna be part of that. No money for you.

[Brett]

No more choir.

[John Holmberg]

No more choir. No more. We're not even gonna sponsor the arts? Nope. You have no talented kids. And why in the hell is there a preschool with a choir?

[Brett]

Well, there's not.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there. That's a good point. You make a strong point. They memorize. I'll give them that. They memorized the song.

[Brett]

Yeah, they did.

[John Holmberg]

Some of them better.

[Brett]

Better than I could sing it.

[John Holmberg]

Is it?

[Brady]

No, that's how bad it is.

[John Holmberg]

I'd rather listen to you. Sing the national Anthem by a lot. Anyway, baseball season starts with this. I don't know. Thank God the roof was open so it didn't reverberate. More Go D backs. But please, for Christ's sake. I don't care how hot the lady is at Soleil Preschool. I'm gonna blame Mark Grace for this. Yeah, Grace is a sucker for, like, this, you know, some beautiful woman talking. You know, I run a preschool over in Paradise Valley, and it would be awesome to have him. And Grace is like, yeah, I'll get that done. Like, he would be to get us, you know, to make a move. And then. And then it's. He's like Oppenheimer. He had like, after. Oh, my God, what have I done? Like, he unleashed, you know, holy hell on the entire audience. And I feel bad for the Cubs. Let me say I'm sorry to the Cubs for even pretending that they were also welcoming that group. At least Chicago would have had an inner city preschool. Do it and, like, pound it on buckets. It would have been unreal. They'd have wrapped some of it. We bring up Paradise Valley. Little white kids. No little white kids can sing. Not one. Anyway.

[Brett]

You're gonna judge the preschool singing throwdown. We've got 30 preschools. Oh, competing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's hell. What you just described as hell. You know, been great. If there was like an F16 flyover and you just heard, just throw a missile at that. Anyway, just thought I'd bring that to your attention since I had to live it.

[Brett]

Couldn't they use AI on the vocals?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Can't they fake it? Aren't we technologically advanced Vanilli that to make it so. Can we auto tune those little pricks? Not one of your kids is cute. Not one of them horrible little four year olds. And keep them in the corner until they're able to do stuff. Terrible. What happened?

[Brady]

Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

You just. I'm losing my mind again. I know. To see me there. Awful. Let's get a wake up song sung by adults and give your kid a whack right now. Yeah. I'd say if it's deserve it. If it's under.

[Brett]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

If it's under 7 years old, reach over there right now and just give it a. Give it a little smack. Don't ever think about singing in front of people until I say you're all right. And if your wife's behind this little DV on her, let's take care of that too. What were you thinking dragging him out there? I started Be cute, everyone.

[Brett]

Would love it.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. Your parent blind. You don't understand. We're the only ones that love that kid. We're the only ones. Now he's adorable. Everybody thinks Jacob is great. Nobody likes Jacob but us. Nobody learn it. I don't understand that. I just have dogs howling. Give us a wake up song. 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's nice. A good one. Yeah. Please help us. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.