03-31-25 - Reactions Emails On The Elementary Kids Singing At DBacks Game - New Torture Show Detailed Scavenger's Daughter Device And Seems To Be Specifically For John - Odd Suns Caballero Hat Night

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (03-31-25)

Episode Title: Reactions Emails On The Elementary Kids Singing At DBacks Game - New Torture Show Detailed Scavenger's Daughter Device And Seems To Be Specifically For John - Odd Suns Caballero Hat Night
Release Date: March 31, 2025
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Platform: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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1. Reactions to Elementary Kids Singing at Diamondbacks Game

The episode kicks off with the hosts addressing listener emails reacting to the elementary school kids' performance of the national anthem at a Arizona Diamondbacks (DBacks) game. John Holmberg leads the critique, expressing strong disapproval of the children's rendition.

• John Holmberg (00:40): "Brady just asked me about last night's game... the team is so bad and they just have got to trade everyone."

• Brady Bogen (01:30): "You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?"

The group humorously discusses various preschools involved, highlighting the stark contrast between the intended performance and the actual execution.

• John Holmberg (03:16): "At least I could jump off the steamboat and swim back."

They delve into the specifics of the preschool performances, particularly mocking the Maryvale Preschool's attempt at harmonies reminiscent of Boyz II Men.

• John Holmberg (04:18): "That kid's doing five year old."

The conversation underscores the hosts' frustration with the quality of the performances, leading to exaggerated suggestions for parental and institutional accountability.

2. Deep Dive into the Scavenger's Daughter Torture Device

Transitioning from sports to a more macabre topic, John introduces the "Scavenger's Daughter," a historically brutal torture device, drawing parallels to other inhumane methods.

• John Holmberg (11:00): "The Scavenger's Daughter is like... you just keep getting constricted more and more until your head pops off."

He provides a vivid description of the device, emphasizing its gruesome nature and questioning the moral fabric of those who perpetuate such atrocities.

• John Holmberg (13:24): "It's the one thing you can't defend is singing. Children, a sinner comes before you."

The hosts express vehement opposition to the preschoolers' performances by equating them metaphorically to the torturous device, highlighting their disdain.

3. Criticism of Suns' Western Night and Promotional Strategies

The hosts shift their focus to the Phoenix Suns' "Western Night," criticizing the team's promotional decisions, particularly the distribution of ill-fitting cowboy hats.

• John Holmberg (18:55): "They gave away cowboy hats... we all looked like Woody kept mini hats."

• Brady Bogen (19:36): "Someone in the promo department made a Missouri. How could this deal be so good?"

The conversation mocks the practicality and appropriateness of the promotion, suggesting it inadvertently resembles styles associated with border patrol stereotypes.

• John Holmberg (20:26): "The whole thing just seems so screwy."

They sarcastically speculate on the intended outcomes of such promotions, insinuating ulterior motives behind the marketing tactics.

4. Frustration with Modern Media Algorithms

John and Brady discuss their exasperation with how modern algorithms on streaming services dictate content, often pushing unsettling or unwanted programs.

• John Holmberg (16:50): "It's like Brady's algorithm on Instagram."

• Brady Bogen (17:12): "Cleanse it. Put it on a couple other different shows. It evens out."

They lament the lack of control over their viewing choices, feeling inundated by repetitive and distressing content selections.

5. Baseball Updates: The Torpedo Bat and Diamondbacks' Performance

Shifting back to sports, the hosts delve into the introduction of the "Torpedo Bat" in baseball, analyzing its impact on gameplay.

• John Holmberg (26:26): "It's brand new... shaped like a doobie."

• Brady Bogen (27:14): "The bat must be one solid continuous piece of wood."

They critique the bat's design and its current exploitation by teams like the Yankees, predicting future regulatory changes.

• John Holmberg (27:36): "Soon someone’s going to hit 100 home runs."

The discussion highlights the technological advancements in sports equipment and their potential effects on the game's integrity.

6. Personal Anecdotes and Listener Engagement

The hosts share personal stories, including bracket predictions for the college tournament and heartwarming listener emails about pet adoptions.

• John Holmberg (29:03): "I have all four [bracket predictions], and I'm in fourth place."

• Listener Email (29:47): "We just adopted this week's pick of litter. Monkey."

They balance critical discussions with relatable, everyday topics, fostering a sense of community with their audience.

7. Music Selection and Kids Singing Heavy Metal Songs

Wrapping up, the hosts express frustration over children performing heavy metal songs that contain explicit language, contrasting sharply with their initial critique of the national anthem performances.

• John Holmberg (32:34): "I hate your mother effing kids, is."

• Brady Bogen (33:18): "Do they have a kid's bop version?"

They debate the appropriateness of such song choices for young performers, suggesting more age-appropriate alternatives while maintaining their characteristic humor.

8. Closing Remarks

In their signature style, the hosts blend humor with critique, providing a lively and engaging discourse that reflects their commitment to entertaining and challenging their listeners.

• John Holmberg (34:32): "It's Slayer here. It's Raining Blood. It's your wake up song."

The episode concludes with an invitation to upcoming events and a reminder of their station's position as Arizona's premier rock radio outlet.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg (00:40): "Brady just asked me about last night's game... the team is so bad and they just have got to trade everyone."

• Brady Bogen (01:30): "You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?"

• John Holmberg (11:00): "The Scavenger's Daughter is like... you just keep getting constricted more and more until your head pops off."

• John Holmberg (18:55): "They gave away cowboy hats... we all looked like Woody kept mini hats."

• Brady Bogen (27:14): "The bat must be one solid continuous piece of wood."

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully intertwines sharp sports commentary with dark humor and societal critiques. From dissecting children's performances at baseball games to delving into historical torture devices, the hosts deliver a barrage of entertaining and thought-provoking discussions. Their candid banter and exaggerated frustrations resonate with listeners, ensuring that even those unfamiliar with the podcast can appreciate the dynamic and engaging content presented.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[David Vasquez]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to Talk about FanDuel, America's number one sports book. Check out some of their exclusive promotions too. Dinger Tuesday is back. That's awesome. And right now, new customers get $200 in bonus bets with any winning $5 bet. Visit FanDuel.com KUPD to make every moment more 21 plus in present Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bon non withdrawable bonus bets which expire 7 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, that's right. Brady. Brady just asked me about last night's game. Sunswin, he says. Oh no. 39 point loss in their fight for the playoffs. They dropped 39 pointer at home. It's ridiculous. Team so bad and they just have got to trade everyone. And again, I should be the general manager of that team. I said this a year and a half ago. Not gonna get any better. Did a bad coach last year. Coach was not gonna fix it. Get excited. Little bits of excitement here and there. All right, maybe they'll do. Nope, not going to happen there. That was awful. That was the worst game of the last five years. Last night that was a bloodbath. I mean maybe since the Mavericks playoff games in 2022 when they got just handled right down 50th a half was an instance. They had 27 points in the first half. Last night might have been a little better than that, but not much. So the whole team needs to go. But at least they have a decent national Anthem. That's all we can. Well, it couldn't be any worse than. It couldn't be any worse than what was going on at that Diamondbacks game. This one says, my God, John, I'd rather be a recipient in a blacked.com gang bang than to have to sit through that song one more time. What song are you talking about there, David Vasquez? I can't quite. Does anybody have any idea what he's. Which song was he. Oh, I do.

[Brady]

Don't do it.

[John Holmberg]

This was Solel Preschool in Paradise Valley. Oh, no. That would have been. Yeah. This or Black's Duck on all fours. Black dot com. They might hit some good stuff@black dot com. I might actually enjoy that Dolly steamboat or kids singing the anthem. I think that's obvious. Nothing's worse than children singing.

At least I could jump off the steamboat and swim back.

Yeah. Yeah. I have. I have hope on the steamboat.

[Brady]

Head to shore.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And the steamboat. The dolly steamboat's just boring. It isn't an affront to everyone who's ever served our nation. This guy says, I used to work in sports ticket sales, and for these schools to get these performances, they have to buy hundreds of group tickets for that game. Oh, yeah. And if you've been past the preschool that did this, it's in a very affluent area, so buying hundreds of tickets is no problem.

So we're never going to see Maryvale Preschool.

You will never. And they'd be good? Oh, absolutely. Maryvale Preschool. Most of them are like 16. It would be a pretty good performance.

It'd be like Boys to Men out there doing the harmonies and stuff.

[Brady]

Put the trash can fire together.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

Would it be great? Please welcome Maryvale Preschool. Yeah, they have it. Maryvale Preschool. There's four of them. He's not even doing the anthem.

[Brady]

That kid's doing five year old.

[John Holmberg]

The good times made us laugh. God damn, that kid's four. Yeah. That would be amazing to do that. They're doing Silk Sonic songs and I'd watch that concert. Maryvale Preschool. Paradise Valley Preschool.

This is what it sound like this.

Yeah. My God, I would go to that. They're four. You're telling me these kids are four? Just let them finish. They don't know the anthem. That's their anthem. Join them after the game. They're mostly going to funerals and stuff in Maryville, so they sing this a lot.

Wow.

[Brady]

It's so hard to say goodbye.

[John Holmberg]

I'm four years old. To give.

[Brady]

He wants to run the bases.

[John Holmberg]

He's done. How did it a so fast. And now joining the Maryvale quartet. Preschoolers. Soleil Preschool. Oh, God.

All I know is where we be.

I would watch this for hours. They're so tall. And by comparison, the harmonies are a little different in the white neighborhoods.

Four year old, the bass, the baritone guy.

Mommy, do I get a juice box? That's right. That's right. This was. These guys were what, 13 or 14 when they sang this.

National ant are brought to you by.

[Brady]

Old English Sunny D.

[John Holmberg]

I like that. I would watch that all day. Thank you very much. Thank you. We'll be a preschool starting on Monday. We're going to have nap time at noons. Working on our next anthem for the suns.

The kiss 12:30 guys.

The announcer kiss 12:30. And the incredibly tall kids of the Maryvale preschool. And their children. The preschool kids have kids.

[Brady]

They just won the state in basketball.

[John Holmberg]

Maryville Preschool State champions in the high school basketball. We haven't figured that out yet. Oh, look at them. Their children so proud of their parents as they sing. It says, thanks for that. I was at the game yesterday, John. I was frantically looking for anything I could stab into my brain. The second I saw them lining up behind home plate, I turned to my wife and I said, it's gonna be an abomination. Now that I've heard it again, I am leaving the country. I did find it funny how halfway through, most of the crowd started to try to sing louder than them. Oh, and yeah, that. It's nothing fixed it. So. John, the parents need to take some responsibility here. The teacher needs to be exiled to Tucson forever. But 30 parents. 30. He. Excellent point. 30 parents willingly drove their kids to that ballpark knowing that they were going to do this. He's right.

[Brady]

Way mode.

[John Holmberg]

They probably did waymo. Well, 30 parents told their drivers to take the kids to the game and they would meet later. Either way, it's a fact. And it is woof. It's an abomination. That guy's right. So, Leo, you know what? I'm gonna throw him on it. I'm gonna throw him up there. Here it comes. Ready? Where's my son? Shame. There it is. I'm shaming them. They are now. Shame. The entire 2025 class of Salil Preschool and its faculty and staff are nominated for the Frank Kelly Endo Nathan Sutherland Heel of the Year award. They walk amongst us. They're out there. It could happen to any of us at any time. I go to tactical black for self defense. I don't know what I could do to stop that other than just mow down a bunch of kids. Shame. Yeah.

Does Jay have anything for this? I mean, no defense.

None. It's a. It's a meat thermometer in your ear hole.

That's one thing they can't defend.

It's the one thing you can't defend is singing. Children, a sinner comes before you. They are nominated the entire school for forgiveness. And they're worse than. Than Pearl in Paradise, our winners from a couple years ago. And all they did was steal from that one mentally retarded boy. It wasn't a good thing. I'm not saying it's one's good, one's bad. I'm saying one's worse than the other. And those kids are the worst thing that's happened to this society. I'm going to go ahead and say it. Since 9 11. 9 11.

[Brady]

And then that the award winners together as a choir and sing the national with the Pearl.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all of them. Chaka Paulman, Chaka Jr. Pearl in paradise. Guy that stomped out the dog last year. Nathan himself. Nathan would.

Frank's got to be in there too, because he's the og.

It's Frank Calendar's award. Yeah. Yep. I'm putting it on there. So Leel shame McDonald in 68. If you drive by there today, boo out your window. Shame. Boo it.

[Brady]

They've closed the school.

[John Holmberg]

Good, good, good.

[Brady]

The music department.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there was no music department. There wasn't one. If that was their music department, it should be lit on fire and left to burn with no city resources being used to fix it. Terrible. Sorry. Anyway, what are you gonna do? I was also. I was watching this thing this weekend about. I don't know where these things keep coming up. They have, you know those torch like we talked about? The Brazen Bull? That thing that they used to cook.

[David Vasquez]

Brutal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They put somebody in that big brass death torture chain. Oh, yeah. There was another one this weekend and I looked it up. It was in the uk. What was it called? The Scavenger's Daughter. And like all these little shows come up and go, you ever heard of this? Like, they're talking directly to me. Hey, John, it's two in the morning. You up? Yeah. You ever heard of this? No. Scavenger's Daughter is. They said it was a drastic step from other methods used throughout history across the globe, such as being licked to get to death by a goat. Licked to death by a goat? That's a real thing. They used to stick you in a box and cover you with stuff. Goats like and have goats lick you until you died. Because goats evidently lick hard. Goats are hard lickers. Yeah. The scavenger's daughter is like, I can't even describe. It's like a metal rack, like an a frame kind of thing. It almost looks like a giant. What are those things that used to do that had a stabby end and you put a pencil in it and spin it.

[Brady]

The compass?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is that like a compass deal? Like, you know, I never knew what it was used for, but I had one in school.

Drawing the circles.

Yeah. That's all it's for.

That's compass. Yeah.

Okay. Just drawing circles.

[Brady]

You know, nowadays it's tougher and tougher to get the news between social media and news outlets leaning one way or another. And look, this isn't about taking sides. This is about getting the information for yourself. And there's one source to get all the news that's not one sided. And as a matter of fact, this source gives you all sides in one place and that's ground news. Ground news is your one stop shop to get all the news from all the sides, yours, theirs and everything in between. Ground news takes all sides and lets you form your own opinion by posting all the news from all the different leaning services. So you can make the comparisons and form your own opinion. And you get to read what the Guardian, Fox News and even what the social media sites are posting. And the best part is you can get it [e-mail] and right now you can get 40% off their unlimited access Vantage subscription by going to ground news.comberg. that's ground news.comberg. why be persuaded by social media, big business and news outlets with their own agenda? Check out groundnews.com today and form your own opinion. And don't forget to save yourself that 40% right now by going to Ground News.comberg Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg]

So the a frame, the person's head would go to the top of it and the hands would go in the middle and legs they'd kind of just kind of wrapped around your neck, tied your hands to two row and then tied down to your ankles and balled you up. And then it had the screw on it and they would keep screwing it and screwing it until you got tighter and tighter and tighter and your head popped off. It's like somebody come by and just go.

[Brady]

And what was it called again?

[John Holmberg]

Scavenger's daughter. So you got something around your neck and then it goes from. It's your neck to your wrists, and it's all stiff. And then it's got another line that goes and ties to your ankles and your. And your knees are up in your chest. And then they just start twisting something and. And they. And you just keep getting constricted more and more and more until your head pops off. Geez. Yeah. And I want to do that to every one of those kids at that elementary school or that preschool. Scavenger's daughter. All of them. I don't either. That was the thing. I was like, it was weird. You'd be twisted into the fetal position, your bones snapped and joints dislocated, and then you'd compress. The body would compress, and then they would like, wait. And it would force blood into the nose and ears. So it was like you were dying internally. And then your head just fell off. Bloop. Now, if we could bring that back for all the parents of the preschoolers, I think it would be a just and noble cause. I think it's time we did something about them. It was the weirdest thing, though, because they just did it and they didn't really talk about the details. They showed drawings and then they showed it in the background. And the show was very strange. It was on the heels of an air disasters about two trains, like, air disasters running out of air crashes. So they used two trains that crashed into each other as one of the air disasters. So I'm watching that and I was a little bit perplexed. And then after that, this came on and it was. It was for people who had. They had to put their death on display. So they can go by and just give them a little twist.

[Brady]

Was the train thing in India?

[John Holmberg]

No, it was in the US of A. I don't know what it was. It was in Alaska or something like that. And one train was going like a thousand miles an hour for no reason. It was on the wrong tracks and it was a passenger train. Another train came around the corner. But then they. But I kept hitting the button like, what am I watching? I watch plane crashes on air disaster. Nope, not today. And then like, yeah, I don't know.

[Brady]

I've seen a couple of those train disasters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, I'd get it if it was called train disasters, but it's air disasters. And they were just like. And it said air disasters. Something brutal ground thing. And I'm like, well, this isn't your show. And I'm starting to think that TV is doing. I think everything is just for me. Not all of your. All your stations are for you. But I think I'm now at the point now where the algorithm just makes up shows for me because there's no reason for trains to crash on air disasters. And then afterwards to watch somebody get their head popped off by an old torture device. Except for unless you're me, like, you wouldn't do that back to back. That's programming directly towards me. I never touch the remote anymore. Like, everything that comes up is pretty much what I want to watch. Like, if I turn on air disasters within a few air disasters episodes, like two or three, the next show is going to be awesome. Because it's like, oh, he loves this stuff. Show them more. And they're up for the real good stuff. Like, sure, watch this. And somebody in the UK is getting their head lobbed off by this scavenger's daughter.

It's like Brady's algorithm on Instagram.

Yeah, yeah, Brady's. My TV's gotten to me to where it's like, don't worry. Don't ever worry about turning it. We've got you. Even if I hit, like, the button to go to the guide and, like, don't worry about it. There's like, six shows that, like, you're gonna want to see all of these. I'm like, you're right. You don't need that anymore. Put that down. He's right.

[Brady]

Cleanse it. Put it on a couple other different shows. The opposite. And it's. It evens out. I'll start suggesting those.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it weeds out. I don't even get options anymore. Like, my YouTube TV is like six blocks. I put it on live, and it's like, here's six things. Don't even think about going anywhere else. You're going to waste your time. Here are the six things you want to see. And I'm like, there are about four or five of them. They're right. It's usually like, news game shows, an old game show. And then like, four or five things about just tragic and horrible events. Said, you just made every Gilbert mom moan when you said, goats are hard lickers. They are. And evidently, goats lick so hard they'll kill you eventually. And that would be awful. You're just laying there tied to something, covered in goat food or whatever. Goats do.

[Brady]

That one in the. The rats in the bucket.

[David Vasquez]

Sure.

[Brady]

On your gut.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They just eat right through. Yeah. It's crazy. So that's how they used to do stuff. And again, I sure could have. Sure could have used that scavenger's daughter at that ball game before. Those kids started barking. But, yeah, Soleil Preschool. You are part of the shameful, shameful ways. She'd never be allowed to be a school. Those kids should all get, not just expelled, but, I don't know, deported. I think maybe Trump should send him to Venezuela and have him sing down there. Anything is better than that. And I don't know what's going on with all that, but there was a bunch of guys yesterday I'm pretty sure are about to go. Last night, the Suns did a thing where they gave. It was Western night. First off, their marketing department doesn't understand anything.

Western night.

Western night. And Houston's in town. They gave away cowboy hats. And all the cowboy hats were for people who have heads the size of peasants. So we all looked like Woody kept mini hats. Everybody had many hats like Woody from Toy Story. And we all looked idiotic. It was hilarious. They were so stupid and small that they looked funny. So it was. And then some people wore it, and you're like, their heads are so little. It fits. But then they're walking around in these Woody hats, and I started thinking, you know those shots of, like, the Texas border and all the guys that are getting arrested have those dumb little weird cowboy hats. That's what they were giving away. They were giving away. If you wore it, ice is going to take you away. There's nothing of. They were trying to get everybody deported.

[Brady]

Someone in the promo department made a Missouri. How could this deal be so good?

[John Holmberg]

Just do it. Why did. Why did Trent order 31,000 children's cowboy hats from Fanduel?

Well, when Trent gets fired, he can get a job here in our promotions apartment.

Well, it had the Fanduel logo on the back. It was great. Had the little thing. But Western night for the Suns can't happen on the night they play Houston. Texas is known more for cowboy hats than we are, so you can't have the Texas teams come in and do cowboy night. Yeah, it's like doing Shamrock night for the Celtics. It doesn't make sense. So the Suns are just. It's like catastrophe.

[Brady]

Might as well have done oil night.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Just. You don't want to call it oil rig night. They start turning into trouble when the drinking flows. But, yeah, oil night.

[Brady]

There's 10,000 riggers come down.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Can't do that kind of stuff. See, and that's why right there.

I'd have been there.

No, you wouldn't have. It would have been turned away. Yeah. So I just. I marvel at the stupidity of stuff like that. And I'm just. But they gave those hats away. And I'm watching everybody. Like a lot of people walk around those stupid hats and I'm like, this is. We all look like refugees. Everyone looks like somebody snuck across the border. And then they gave us these hats at the Suns game and now they can be deported. I'm not against the deportation of everyone.

[Brady]

Yeah, do it when, you know, the Cavaliers or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, do it when an Eastern, you know, Knicks or something. The Nets. The Nets come and do Western night for them Yankees coming into town and doing what they do.

So did you keep the hat?

No, I gave it to a child.

So Toledo would be a no go on this.

Oh, my God. It would. Toledo, it would rest. No, I can't even imagine it on Toledo's head. It would be hilarious.

[Brady]

He could have gone around with an accordion and collected money in a cup.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. He would have looked exactly like that. I was going up the stairs to my seat and I had the dumb hat on. And there's some people by my seats that I know, and I'm like, here you go. And their daughter was there, so I'm like, here you go. And I plopped it on her head and she looked at me, she goes, what the is this? I'm like, oh, my God, the kid hates the hats. No, it was. I don't know, the whole thing just seems so screwy. And then the baseball thing, I do have to hand it to the Diamondbacks. Went to the games, watched Diamondbacks, and they don't do what they used to do. And I tipped the cap to them for this. Is that when the Cubs used to come to town, they had Old Style on special in the concourse and they don't do that anymore. And I'm like, you know what? Good for you. Like the. There's still a lot of Cub fans there. A lot of. A lot of blue Cubs are just going to show up. But it was. It was nice to see the Diamondbacks starting to kind of get it. And they're a fun team until the singing started. Until that thing. Yeah, until they ruined the anthem. But yeah, there's. There's still some hiccups, but for them. I remember going to the games and I'm like, as a Cub fan, I used to walk up and go, I can't believe they're doing the Chicago Dogs Old Style beer right outside in that, you know what is now Guy Fieri's crap Food Hut still open.

Is it really?

Well, it's gotta be a record. It's Caesar Sportsbook is what's still open.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

That's the reason that stays open. And nobody's going there for the food.

That's gotta be a record for that building because that thing changes proximity by season.

And gambling, it could be anything because it isn't the garbage can nachos. But, yeah, so give it to the Diamondbacks. That was fun. And I do have to say thank you again to Bob Renly and Steve Bethune and your guy Studley for letting me and my friends go up to the booth and watch an inning up there, which if you have not seen a baseball game from that perspective of where the broadcasters are, it is so incredible. So just that view. And there's no wonder. Those guys. You wonder how they do it, like every game. Go back. I don't think you could ever get tired of sitting where they sit it. It's the by far at Wrigley.

[Brady]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I can't imagine what it's like up there. To look from that booth out into that field, it's like. It is. It really is magic. It was just magical. So Holmberg's morning sickness, and I've been up there before, and they let me sign the wall, and I almost signed down low, and Studly stopped me. He goes, no, no, no. He goes, look who you're about to sign in between. And I didn't pay attention to the other names, and it was between Rob Manfred and. Who's the last commissioner before that? Seelig. Bud Selig. And I'm sitting there, I'm about to scribble my name in between the two commissioners. No, no, no. What are you doing? I go. So I had to find this little spot in the center, but I got to sign the wall, which is really cool. And I noticed that Alice Cooper's on it twice, which little annoying, but he's older, so he forgot he did it the first time. But, man, you like seeing. Seeing what I saw from where I saw it. And I talked to Brinley for a little bit. Just a nicest guy in the world. They're just awesome at what they do. And that's. Man, that stadium, for the most part, when the. When the roof's open and they're opening and closing the roof again, by the way, with people in it, they got effects. I guess that seems kind of.

Maybe Colangelo came in and said, let.

[Brady]

Me help you guys out a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

A couple years ago, they weren't allowed to do it anymore.

[Brady]

The rails, it just slides now.

[John Holmberg]

It's Just a pulley system.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because a couple years ago that we can't do with people here, it might kill some folks. And they're like, nah, we got her all tuned up, ready to go. Did you know that? I didn't know that the Diamondbacks field wasn't grass anymore. It's turf. It's turf. And they don't know that. And they don't use that rubber stuff. I learned this from Dennis, the dude up there with. With the broadcast guys. He's like, yeah, they don't use that anymore. They use it's turf. And here's a fun fact they had. You know, they thought they'd save money on groundskeeping and stuff, but they grind up coconut shells to make the. The absorbent barrier. Yeah. Kind of. It's on it. It's on top and underneath. Yeah. So when the ball hits, it looks like dirt is coming up and there's. It's visual and it's also functional. But because it has to constantly be maintained. When they did this, instead of getting rid of grounds crew, they had to add. The grounds crew is bigger now for the turf than it was for just the grass.

Get Elon in there.

Yeah, we're gonna doge this thing. But yeah, it was great. It was a. And baseball opening weekend is about as fun as it gets. And there's. The weather was ridiculous and the Diamondbacks played well. And two and two with the Cubbies. Great game. Saturday was unreal. And then yesterday was another one. But they do have a problem in baseball, whatever that Torpedo bat is. Because The Yankees hit 10 home runs.

[Brady]

On Saturday or 9, 15 over the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they clobbered.

[Brady]

First time I've heard of the Torpedo.

[John Holmberg]

It's brand new. The baseball just said it's okay. It's shaped like a doobie. It's got. It looks like an old 70s joint.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They said, yeah, it's got a point at the top. It kind of has a bubble.

[Brady]

It hits all of the rules to make it legal.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Boy, does it. But they're having a field day with it in New York because the Yankees are crushing with that thing in there. Not many people are using it, but you're going to see it. It's going to get. It'll be illegal by next. This year maybe. Not next year for sure. Somebody's going to hit 100 home runs.

[Brady]

That can be no longer than 42 inches. The thickest part of the barrel can be no wider than 2.61 inches. The bat must be one solid continuous piece of wood.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's it. Those are the rules. And there's the picture of it. It looks like a. It looks like a pencil. It's there. It's just. It's real narrow from your hands all the way, and then it kind of bubbles up and then. And then thins out again. It's got one space on it for, you know, the meat of the bat, and then for some reason, there's energy on the top. When you shrink the top of it, it doesn't just end.

[Brady]

So where do you want to hit it?

[John Holmberg]

Same sweet spot. Yeah, normal sweet spot. But now there's a. I wonder what the end. Because they said. Because it goes to the. It kind of. It kind of tapers off on the top. They say that there's more energy in the swing in that spot because it's not just a dead end. So it's. And the only team that's taking advantage of it right now are the Yankees.

Iron Judge wants to be having a field day. Oh, he's killing again.

Yeah. They had, like, 15 home runs from Friday through. Yeah, they've been just knocking the COVID off the wall, see.

Was it Nestor Cortez or something from the Brewers? Gave up five home runs and two innings.

There's nothing you could do. These guys were just mashing. So baseball's going to be sort of exciting.

[Brady]

They're in spring training.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

I don't know. It's the first I heard of it this weekend when they're. When they beat the Brewers 20 to 8, like. Yeah, they had 10 home runs. Like, what? Yeah, they're knocking the ball all over the place. It's going to be a long year. And then the Diamondbacks, they're traveling off to see the Yankees, I think, tomorrow. And so you'll see the Torpedo bat in its. In its glory against the D backs, where they left here, it was 84 degrees, and they go there, and it'll be 45 and snowy, so. But baseball's back. It just feels good right now. You got baseball? Yeah, I'm. I'm. I'm in fourth place in my brackets for the college tournament. I have all four.

[Brady]

You went all four seeds?

[John Holmberg]

They're all four in. I didn't do it. AI did it. I let the computer pick all my games, and then I picked the final score. That's all I did. And so it turns out I've got them all, and I'm in fourth place. So it just now comes down to who picked the winner. Two people ahead of me have Duke, I have Auburn and one of the guys has Houston interested. We're all good. Apparently. I might for the first time ever win the the brackets and I didn't do it this year at all. I feel like a woman. I feel like Shania Twain because I didn't do it. Most women are like, my husband filled it out. She's got this email and you throw this at me.

This is Toledo item.

Okay, which one gonna say guy says I officially love monkey? I'm talking about the one and only monkey from lost her home. Calm down, Brett. My wife and I went down to meet her and instantly fell in love. She's so sweet. Just awesome. We talked it over and have to change her name. We didn't feel it would behoove us to walk around screaming her name all over town. Her new name is Bunny. Thanks for everything you do, Daniel. They just adopted this week's pick of litter. Monkey.

Remember Monkey?

Monkey Bunny. Well, I did it to Monkey. Yeah, the little bunny was. Was monkey Wasn't this week was last week. I don't remember what kind of dog. I don't remember which one. Huh? You gotta look it up. I don't remember. They're all blending. I didn't do monkey this week.

Judge is not using a torpedo bat, by the way.

He's not?

No.

Okay. Anyway, they have plenty of dogs and cats down there still for adoption. It's wonderful that you brought Monkey Bunny home. I say call it Monkey Bunny. Bunny's cute too, though. Brady's mom dog kind of keep that together. Anyway, so that's great. That's good to hear. And the streak will start going again. We get more people adopting those dogs. It always makes me feel good. So when you do adopt one from lost or home or anywhere and you care to share, I'll absolutely give you a tip of the cap on that one. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Brett?

Wake up. So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course, and now's the time. I mean, the weather is amazing out there. Now's the time to hit those trails and no better way to do it then on an Action Ride Shop bike. Or again, if you don't need a bike and you got that old one in the garage. They got the best wrenches in town in two locations. Now they're going to take care of you over there on power Road and McDowell, the brand new location right there by Hawes. And of course the OG right there on Gilbert Road and Southern Action Rideshop. Dot Com. Get the hookup with Josh and the boys over there on the list.

Slayer.

Raining blood for all the ears bleeding at that game. Papa Roach Crash. Because this guy almost crashed his car after hearing the anthem. War Zone for a palate cleanser.

Better. Yeah. Better than the anthem. Yeah. Was Yoko Ono's War Zone.

Cancer Slug. I Hate Kids. I've never heard that, but, man, there's.

Nothing wrong with that one.

Well, for my Valentine. Scream, aim, fire for the kids the kids aren't all right. From Offspring, Iron Maidens Bring your daughter to the slaughter and hate breed, destroy everything. Especially at that game, man.

Yeah, it's just, you know, we need to start saying something when they start rolling kids out. Somebody needs to go enough. Like we need to file complaints. And what is Cancer Slugs. I hate Kids. I think that's it right there. But let me show. Just play Boys to Men again. Can't do it. How did I sit through it? Oh, there. There.

There's Maryvale.

Maryvale's Kids. That's so much better. Yeah. I don't know what Cancer Slug is.

Here it is. It's explicit, so I don't know.

Oh, it's explicit.

I don't know what.

We'll catch it.

[Brady]

Catch it.

[John Holmberg]

So far I can dance to this if I can find lyrics. The word mother effort kicks it off. So I think we're off and running. Yeah. So we'll go back, we'll do something else. Although it's appropriate, that first line, I hate your mother effing kids, is.

Well, I can see how bad the lyrics are here. Let's see.

You have them up. Yeah, maybe we do that one. They never get enough credit. The Cancer.

[Brady]

Do they have a kid's bop version?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they could. The kids sang it. That same choir. Let's see. At the. I'm worried now, though. If you look at the lyrics, it's not terrible.

No, there's.

[Brady]

There's a lot of.

[John Holmberg]

F bomb.

F bomb. F bomb.

Other F bomb.

Yeah, there's a few of them. That's a lot. Yeah.

I'm gonna listen to it off the air, though.

It sounds great, but that's a lot. We'll go with the Kids aren't all right or something like it. No, let's maybe Raining Blood for the Slayer people. Let's get a little Slayer.

Better Hate breed.

Either way, pick one.

We'll do Slayer because I don't want all the Slayer people coming out.

Slayer. We'll go a little Slayer. Raining Blood. That'll work it out for all the children. I'm gonna listen to that. So, yeah, here we are on the last day of March, by the way, and we're a month away from you fest and like, what, 20 days away from the Easter keg hunt. Go figure.

[Brady]

Less than that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This is like the 19th. Yeah. So it's. Yeah, we're 20 days exactly. No, who cares? We're right on it. It's going to be Friday right around the corner and. Can't believe it. We're almost to Easter. Flying by Ellis for children from Pat.

Benatar was the best.

I'd rather listen to the kids sing. It's Slayer here. It's Raining Blood. It's your wake up song. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.