04-01-25 - Recalling Our Past April Fools Pranks And Why We Don't Do Them Anymore - Argentinian President Set To Release Docs Claiming Hitler Lived In Exile There Until His Death In The Early 60s

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 04-01-25
Title: Recalling Our Past April Fools Pranks And Why We Don't Do Them Anymore - Argentinian President Set To Release Docs Claiming Hitler Lived In Exile There Until His Death In The Early 60s
Release Date: April 1, 2025

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Introduction to April Fools' Day on the Show

Timestamp: 00:38 – 02:44

John Holmberg opens the episode by addressing the significance of April Fools' Day, noting its tendency to inspire radio stations to engage in elaborate pranks, such as pretending to switch formats. Holmberg emphasizes the show’s usual avoidance of such antics unless specifically requested by listeners. He states:

“This is the morning sickness. And often running on an April Fool's Day where people will start doing that silliness...”
– John Holmberg [00:38]

Recalling Dangerous April Fools' Pranks from the Past

Timestamp: 02:44 – 07:01

The hosts delve into past April Fools' pranks, sharing a particularly harrowing incident from 18-19 years prior. They recount a prank where a caller posed as a concerned individual searching for his pregnant teen girlfriend, leading to a tense situation that nearly resulted in violence. Holmberg reflects on the gravity of the prank:

“It was almost a murder that we almost caused a murder.”
– John Holmberg [02:24]

Dick Toledo adds:

“She went crazy, hung up on us... we might be done with it.”
– Dick Toledo [02:42]

The hosts unanimously agree that such pranks were misguided, highlighting the potential real-world consequences of their actions.

The Current Topic: Alleged Hitler Exile in Argentina

Timestamp: 07:01 – 14:43

Transitioning to contemporary news, Holmberg introduces a startling claim that the Argentinian president intends to release documents asserting that Adolf Hitler survived the end of World War II and lived in Argentina until the early 1960s. Holmberg expresses skepticism and concern:

“I just don't believe that's true because... the ramifications of that are terrifying.”
– John Holmberg [07:57]

Toledo shares insights from documentaries they've watched, discussing how Nazis fled to South America post-war. Holmberg questions the plausibility of Hitler maintaining a low profile:

“He kept the Mustache... like, oh, my God, you might be right.”
– John Holmberg [09:36]

Feasibility and Implications of the Claim

Timestamp: 14:43 – 21:49

The discussion deepens as Holmberg and Toledo explore the logistical challenges of Hitler evading capture for two decades. They debate the involvement of other Nazis in facilitating his escape and maintaining his secrecy. Holmberg muses on the psychological aspects:

“Dudes like Hitler don't just quiet down. If we got our asses handed to us at the end... he'd be bitter.”
– John Holmberg [16:24]

Toledo contemplates the Argentine government's role and the potential global reaction if such documents were released, fearing mass hysteria:

“The world dumb will lose their minds.”
– John Holmberg [17:24]

Comparisons to Other Conspiracy Theories

Timestamp: 21:49 – 30:43

Holmberg draws parallels between the Hitler exile theory and other high-profile conspiracy theories, such as Michael Jackson and O.J. Simpson faking their deaths. He expresses doubt about the feasibility of such deceptions:

“I just can't imagine that. It's never happened.”
– John Holmberg [25:04]

Toledo references historical events like the recovery of Nazi gold, questioning the extent of what was uncovered:

“How can they slide that? They recovered a lot of that stuff...”
– John Holmberg [23:52]

Personal Anecdotes and Tangents

Timestamp: 30:43 – 37:12

The conversation takes a personal turn as the hosts discuss genetic traits and family appearances, injecting humor into the discussion. Holmberg shares humorous self-deprecation about his own features, linking it back to the impossibility of Hitler maintaining his identity:

“I have a forehead so big they should paint it white so birds don't fly into it...”
– John Holmberg [34:19]

They also touch upon historical figures like Napoleon, debating the likelihood of him faking death compared to Hitler:

“If you're an exile... Why would they just shoot him? Doesn't make any sense.”
– John Holmberg [28:29]

Conclusion: The Thin Line Between Fact and Fiction

Timestamp: 37:12 – End

As the episode draws to a close, Holmberg reiterates his skepticism regarding the Argentinian president’s claims about Hitler:

“I just don't believe that anyone with that kind of power can fake their own death and then succeed in hiding until they die.”
– John Holmberg [31:05]

He warns about the potential chaos that could ensue if such information were true and subsequently revealed:

“The world dumb finds out... they react poorly.”
– John Holmberg [17:24]

The hosts conclude by reflecting on the responsibility of media and individuals in handling sensitive information, especially when it intersects with historical conspiracies and public fear.

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Notable Quotes:

• “It was almost a murder that we almost caused a murder.”
  – John Holmberg [02:24]

• “Dudes like Hitler don't just quiet down. If we got our asses handed to us at the end... he'd be bitter.”
  – John Holmberg [16:24]

• “I just don't believe that anyone with that kind of power can fake their own death and then succeed in hiding until they die.”
  – John Holmberg [31:05]

• “The world dumb finds out... they react poorly.”
  – John Holmberg [17:24]

Final Thoughts

This episode masterfully intertwines reflections on past radio pranks with a deep dive into one of history’s most enduring conspiracy theories. Through candid discussion and a blend of humor and seriousness, Holmberg and his co-hosts provide listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful skepticism about sensational claims.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here and it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug hopkins.com Man, the economic news is topsy turvy. Even people who aren't normally confused by the housing market see things right now that might confuse them. Doug will make you a cash offer for your home as is. No repairs, no inspections, none of that stuff. And he'll back it up with a $5,000 guarantee. Plus he'll never cancel. You just need to call TVs Doug Hopkins right now 1-800-sale now or start the US online@doug hopkins.com Everybody sing. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday April Fool's Day. It's 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. This it's the morning sickness. And often running on an April Fool's Day where people will start doing that silliness known as April Fools, radio stations will pretend to switch to Mexican formats for a day. And the most obvious things ever. So if it happens spontaneously in April Fool's joke or something like that will head our direction. Otherwise, we tried to avoid that. The only time we had a good time with April Fools, when the one guy asked us to prank his girlfriend. You weren't here. It was 18 or 19 years ago. The wildcat called up and pretended to be a girl that was looking for her boyfriend because I was a pregnant teen. She. It was almost a murder that we almost caused a murder. And it was. Yeah, she wouldn't listen once I told her that. Typical broad. That's exactly right, Brent. It Was her fault. Typical broad.

[Brett]

If she's just listening.

[John Holmberg]

Shut your yap and opened your ears. You know how I know you're not listening? You're talking. Yeah. She went crazy, hung up on us. We tried to call back, fix it. She was angrier. Hung up on us. And then believe the guy's name was Gordon. And we. He nearly got murdered. So we learned our lesson with that one. It was very possible it was a.

[Toledo]

Bobcat yell on the one. That's all it was.

[John Holmberg]

Never heard anything like it in my life. She. The second she heard the teen girl say she was pregnant, and I named his most recent job address, she. There was no. There was no turning back. It was over. And I think we all sat in the room for a minute going, I think we might be done with it. We might be either too good at it, or this was just a lesson learned that someday we're gonna get somebody killed. Did a couple other good ones in there. But then the other one, when we didn't want to do anything and tried to convince women that they could have an HDTV if they just licked the back of the inputs, a couple ladies called in, says that really. It's a hack. It's a fake thing. And we've had a couple of really nice ones.

[Toledo]

Foil.

[John Holmberg]

Gave. Yeah, some foil. And lick the. The HDMI cables. And then the. And then the other legendary one that I really enjoyed was giving away tickets to the submarine races. Attempted to come with. And again, watch it in a luxury glass boat. Get your glass boat free to your husband if you called right now and the phone's lit up. We didn't think that one would take, but it did. I don't like playing April Fool's jokes. It makes me feel sad for humanity. Like, a lot of the times when people fall for it. Like, there's this thing going around. Doug Hopkins sent me yesterday that. What was the. Was it Venezuela or. I'll find it. The Argentinian president is releasing kind of like what Trump's doing. Just like, release it. Like, give us the Kennedy files. Give us. Stop redacting everything. A little disappointing because they didn't really bleed out all of it, like they said. But this guy down there in Argentina's president, he said, all right, we'll give you all of our documents on Hitler, because we had him for about 12, 13 years after he was dead, according to you. Like, what? He's like, yeah, I got. He was here. He lived in 1962. And so he's supposed to release all those documents. And if that happens.

[Toledo]

I watched one of the documentaries that went over to the. The house that was supposedly where they put the fur.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He was supposed to be, like, kind of well known in the area because they just. Everybody knows that Brazil, Argentina, a lot of countries just got the Nazi hierarchy that rolled in, and Brazil had tons of them. I mean, there was a lot that went on there. So there's movies about that. But, you know, Boys of Brazil is one of my favorites. Lawrence Olivier, which is a fantastic movie about how the Germans that escaped, you know, persecution and stuff. Prosecution went over to Brazil. Those were these German dudes that hung out over. The one that had all the German white, blond kids. Yeah. Then they were experimenting on building the area. They're all twins. They all came out blonde twins. Well, now it's this thing with Hitler, it says. And I looked into it. Doug sent me that yesterday. I'm like, april Fool's joke, right? And he goes, no. And I Googled it, and there's a ton of conspiracies that have said this for years, but that's what conspiracies are. Like, some guy goes, I think my new Argentinian neighbor. And don't hit me or think I'm crazy here, but you know that guy that lives a couple acres over, I'm almost positive that's Adolf Hitler. And that guy was probably chastised forever, you know, the. Constantly. But, you know, you drive by that guy's house, and he's out there, clickety clankity, clickety clankity. And you're like, oh, my God, you might be right. What's he doing in Argentina? Hola. Clickety clinkity, clinkity clinkity. Like, oh, my God, he's pretty upset. And then, you know, then you think, could it possibly be that they stuff Hitler over there by himself and he's got a farm or. Like, how does Hitler feel the first day he's got to go to the supermarket.

[Toledo]

Well, this one, the one that I saw, it's a lake house, basically.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, but what, like, who's helping him?

[Toledo]

Someone would.

[John Holmberg]

Other third, Right. Guys. Yep. But. So he never left. He took walks. Like somebody.

[Toledo]

He was limited on the amount of traveling, probably.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

He were to survive. He's not going out much.

[John Holmberg]

Me and my friend Tony was thinking about maybe hitting up, I don't know, Vegas for the weekend. Nobody knows I'm here. So they're saying, yeah, that. That's very possibly true. He lived for another 20 years, had two more kids, which would have been hospital visits.

[Brett]

I'm thinking they found the kids.

[John Holmberg]

No, but this is where the documents.

[Toledo]

With Eva or another fraud.

[John Holmberg]

Well, do we trust Argentinean documentation? But the government is like, hey, don't. Yeah, it was it Ava. She did. Did they break up? Ava, I'm moving. You can't do it. No, I've got to get out of here. This place, it's hot to go someplace with better, like the beaches, better soccer.

[Toledo]

He just left her car. That said, have a great summer, Adolf.

[John Holmberg]

Dear John, you and I had a bitching run. See you some other time on the other side. Ah, but, yeah, I just. I mean, do you trust it? And then. But if this president's gonna be like, no, we got all the documents. I'm gonna release them. And just. Let's just say Argentina convinces us that they had Hitler for 20 extra years. What's it mean?

[Brett]

Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

No, it means that we got lied to.

[Brett]

Well, yeah, everyone.

[John Holmberg]

And here's the other thing. No one in the bunker, everyone on our side, everyone not on our side, they were all in on it together. No one on the German side who wanted to. Because it didn't just end. World War II didn't just end. And everybody's ideas changed. There was still a big old chunk of people that were like, no, we were right. We just lost. They would have been the first to say, he's still alive, we're all right. They would have been thrilled about it. Everyone would have had to have been in on it. Bad guys, good guys, enemies, allies, everyone. And that means we are more pawn than we thought we were. And that's scary because then. And then you start rolling out the Kennedy thing or whatever. It's just that whole. Oh, no.

[Toledo]

Well, some of the stuff that they, you know, knew that as far as the Germans making it over to Brazil.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, that was known.

[Toledo]

Catholic Church.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, that was known. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Getting new names.

[John Holmberg]

Those folks over at the Catholic Church, they move people. They're. They're. They might as well have Mayflower written on the sides of their cars. They get people from A to B quietly and get it done. But, I mean, if Hitler. I mean, I get it. Where some of the generals could sneak by, especially back in the 40s when there was no Internet. You know, you go to Argentina, nobody knows your picture or your face. They just know names, right? Or, like a newspaper clipping that they once saw. They're not going to recognize you if you changed your face.

[Brett]

And he's probably one of the only white guys in the village.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I mean. But he kept the Mustache. And he said they're trying to buy cantaloupe at the. Come on. People knew.

[Toledo]

Well, again, mentioning that one town, I forget what it's called, but it is a replica of a German.

[John Holmberg]

No, I am they. Well, then the Germans floated all over. They screwed up Mexico's music plopped over a few buildings there. Brazil, Central America. They had some spots or like German villages are ever. My dad lives in one in Texas. Fredericksburg, Texas, is a German village. And they're not fooling around. They want it to be Germany. And it's in the middle of nothing.

[Toledo]

Lebanon, Washington.

[John Holmberg]

There's loads of them. And they just build little German centers.

[Toledo]

And you're like, why is this Leavenworth? I think.

[John Holmberg]

No, Leavenworth is Kansas.

[Toledo]

That's right. It's Lebanon. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. You brought it up.

[Toledo]

I went to it. I can't remember.

[Brett]

All right, was the Solvang over there?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Solving in California. It's just all German.

[Toledo]

Which one?

[John Holmberg]

It's Leavenworth. It's not the prison in Kansas? No, it's Leavenworth. His own memories. He has to talk to talk himself into it. And it is super Bavarian. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. You want to tell Brady about it? Because he just thinks he knows. No, I want to hear what his version is. Yeah. What did you see in Levin Town?

[Toledo]

Oh, it's a German town.

[John Holmberg]

There you go. Thanks for joining me. I would have never guessed. Based on the top. Well, that's it. Yeah. Knocked it right down. Thanks. Thanks for the input on Levenbevin Biberty, I believe it's called. Anyway, I just started to read that, and I immediately thought April Fools and all this stuff, and. And there's a load of people that, like, want that to be true. I don't know that I want that true. I don't know that. You pull that sweater thread, start unraveling that thing, then you're like, man, here's the thing. If the dumb start feeling like they're being fooled, they react poorly. The smart sort of already know they are and kind of accept the idea that. It's like, sometimes we can't let the mob know because they get into a group and they start having irrational behavior based on this. They don't have an end game. The dumb react. And there's no, like, real end game. They'll attack something with January 6th, they just got dumb and went crazy and attacked something. And, like, what was your end game? And proof of it was once they got in the capitol, they just walked around and posed and said they didn't have any idea why they were doing what they were doing. So when you get the dumb involved in a conspiracy theory that's true or not, and they, they group up, dumb stuff happens. So I think the smart realize, okay, we got to keep this from the dumb. If the dumb find out that Hitler was around for 20 more years and the whole world lied to them just to keep them quiet, they'll react. And you know, you keep your conspiracy theories alive.

[Toledo]

Find out such a small circle that Jim Morrison was having weekends with Hitler.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh that then. And then you find out that. That island of dead celebrities that don't want to be around anymore. And I still never understood the logic behind that. You know, he faked his death. Why? So he could, you know, live in peace. Like you think. Elvis unrecognizable. All of a sudden somewhere. Yeah. Okay, 350 pounds of Elvis walks up to you. Hi, my name is David and I would like to buy these cantaloupe please. Like you are Elvis. I know you're Elvis. Don't tell nobody like that. That was the dumbest conspiracy I've ever heard. That there's. They. They all fake their own death to, to go hide. Well, somebody'd find them and it would get ten times worse. Hitler. I don't know.

[Brett]

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[Byron]

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[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

If there's a government document that says.

[Toledo]

A couple of you know, you had the Nazi hunters that ended up getting some of the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh they're. But again you're not talking about the high profile. Hitler's fairly recognizable, maybe Himmler, a couple other dudes, Goebbels. You'd look and go we've seen you in the paper enough to maybe know the German guy next Door is you. But half those dudes, you would. Jesus Christ. If you went through right now and got half of our Americans, all of our, you know, colonels and leaders of this and that, and you wouldn't recognize them at all if they were hiding senators you wouldn't recognize.

[Toledo]

Sir, we're gonna have to get rid of the mustache. Yeah, well, we're gonna dye your hair.

[Brett]

How much would you recognize him if he shaved the mustache, though?

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty.

[Brett]

It's not like back in the. It's not like now where you could, like, do the right. You know, the facial thing or whatever. I mean, Hitler, that's what you know him for.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he goes full hippie.

[Brett]

He's got the Jim Morrison haircut and shaves the muscles.

[John Holmberg]

Just a farmer.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just a farm out here enjoying the weather.

[Brett]

How are you singing La Woman and all that kind of stuff. I mean, you know. Hey, you never know.

[John Holmberg]

How you doing? Hey. Hello, Jim. You're coming up for a drink? No, I gotta do a show. What club? Oh, stand up Live for that Jew. Yeah. Coleman pays well. Okay, enough, man. You're gonna give yourself away.

[Toledo]

And it's Frank, dude, don't call me Jim.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm Frank. Remember Alex. That's right. Alex Vitalart. No one's gonna know, man. No one's gonna know. I'm thinking about Brian. Some facial hair. Jim, don't do it, bro.

[Toledo]

Everything is working great. We just can't break him of the accent.

[John Holmberg]

How many times. Yeah, like, I tried the Spanish. I tried to. I can't help myself. Yeah. And every time he'd get up after a weekend of doing nothing, he hasn't shaved for a couple days. You know, he shaved it all down to that little thing and went. Those were the days. Looking in the mirror with a mustache so close. And. Dudes who want to take over the world don't get quiet. Dudes who want to take over the world and almost do it don't go and regroup and go, I'm just gonna back off. That just isn't a thing. Hitler's brain wouldn't go. And you know what? I. That was close. Good game. I think I'm just going to quietly sit here in Argentina and mind my own.

[Toledo]

I think he start over and live the rest of his life.

[John Holmberg]

Who knows?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Chateau Deef in some sort of a strange prison. I don't know. But bottom line is, dudes like Hitler don't just quiet down. If we got our asses handed to us at the end. Stupid Americans. He'd be bitter. He'd want more. He'd want that juice. You don't just. You don't just. He was. You don't realize how close he was. He almost did it.

[Toledo]

And he's over there at the time, if he was still alive, reading about the Nuremberg trials.

[John Holmberg]

Those poor pricks. Oh, no. I never liked Paul, so he could. He could rot for me. That's fine. Just don't give up my location. Not one of those dudes on trial said Hitler's in Argentina and is like, I know where his house is. They'd have gotten away. Like, a lot of them might have.

[Toledo]

Figured, you know, all they know is he burned in that bunker.

[John Holmberg]

He would have written one letter. Hitler would have done something dumb. I. I don't want to believe that's true because, boy, I think the ramifications of that are terrifying.

[Toledo]

Yeah, you're.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I think it's terrifying, wild, and it's world dumb. We're not talking about Georgia dumb. We're not talking about LA dumb. We're talking about world dumb. The world dumb finds out that you know the entire world, top to bottom, no matter what the government is hid this and knew about it, the world dumb will lose their minds.

[Toledo]

So don't release.

[John Holmberg]

Just keep the files. Just. You know what? Keep it quiet, Argentina. Just stick with Messi and a couple of your other dudes and just shush, shush, shush. Dressed up like you all, you know, in those blue and white ice cream outfits that you wear for soccer and go play the beautiful game and shush, shush about holding Hitler for 20 years. It's not gonna make friends.

[Toledo]

Messy race.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, if I told you that right now, I'm like, by the way, Brady and brat Robert Fisher's been in my house for the past two decades. I'd be like, you asshole. You think of all the pain that's in suffering, and you've kept that there. Yeah, Bring up like ice cream bars and stuff. It's great. And that's just. That, dude, he just blew up one family, this guy, 20 years, he's got a count of like 6 or 7 million, if you believe it. Had him till the mid 6.

[Toledo]

Life out, a quiet retirement.

[John Holmberg]

I kind of don't want this to be real, but that Argentinian dude's all over it. So, yeah, Hitler was the first guy to have Uber eats. I can't go out. Somebody's gotta go get it. They're super eats. You know, this is a pretty good idea, Adolf. I go and grab the food. What we call it? I fly you by. Okay, I'll get it. But don't tell them it's for me, because they're getting a little curious. Well, you're not even trying to adapt, Adolf. Take the uniform off, shave. He wouldn't. I just can't imagine. I've watched guys in radio, like, get, you know, banished from the kingdom, and they can't not want back. Aaron Rodgers can't let go of the power he had. He can't just retire. Can't do it. Adolf Hitler's gonna walk away and be quiet for 20 years. Sammy the Bull couldn't do it. Frank's uncle that wanted to witness relocation, and they had funeral and everything, and he shows up a couple years later saying, dad, Kiki cheese in Oklahoma City. Now going through me, Uncle Frank couldn't.

[Toledo]

Give up his cheese power.

[John Holmberg]

Uncle Phil, that's his name, Uncle Phil. Yeah. I was here in Chicago. I was doing a cheese thing. And then I had to go with Oklahoma City and started to do some Internet videos. I'm like, eh, I'm out. He went back home after a funeral to go distribute cheese again because he was the cheese king of Chicago. That was too much power to let go. I used to be somebody up here in the cheese world, you know, Wisconsin, Chicago. And then they kick me out and I go down to Oklahoma City. I start running cheese down there. It ain't the same Tulsa king or what he was.

[Toledo]

Come and get me.

[John Holmberg]

The story's incredible. Caliento told me at the first time, I had an Uncle Phil who just disappeared. We all said goodbye to him. He disappeared and he said. And then in the early 2000s, there's videos of him running a pizzeria going, you know, the key to it all is, is the cheese. Like, isn't that Uncle Phil? And then he just showed up at a family get together in Wisconsin again. Uncle Phil's back. Didn't we bury Uncle Phil? Yeah, it was a long time ago. That'll happen, kid. Don't worry about it. You're gonna bury a lot of people in your life and then see him again. Don't worry about it. But that guy's cheese power was too great for him to walk away. Hitler would not have been quiet. So in my personal opinion, all this news coming out that the Argentinian president wants to leak, and when Doug sent that to me yesterday, I'm like, this is fake. And then I saw like, 10 other stories about it can't possibly be. And hopefully they're all April Fool's Jokes and then I've been snowed over. But manager is strange if the president of Argentina is in on it. Do we want to know that kind of stuff? I've said that about Epstein Island. I don't think we want those documents released either. I think the puff, you know P. Diddy, this is taken forever for a reason.

[Brett]

You want it to, but you don't.

[John Holmberg]

Want it to deep down. Yeah. You want the rumor mill. You want the salaciousness and the stories.

[Brett]

For the show be great.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You don't want the after. No right at all. Yeah. Justin's right. Imagine if Hitler was still up. Hello Twitter, it's yours truly. He's like oh not you too.

[Toledo]

If I were to do it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So I was look I'm just hanging around. My fantasy football team is killing it. I started a, a pizza with a big oven and everybody thinks that's hilarious but yeah I just don't, I don't want that to be a real thing. So happy April Fool's Day. And you're gonna see some of that's a pretty elaborate April Fool's joke if it is one that they got all that in there and people say that, you know I said I don't know John. There's two people come to mind right away. Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson that would fake their death just to get out of the news. O.J. simpson wasn't exactly trying to stay out of the public. No.

[Toledo]

He wanted back in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He was dying to be accepted again. OJ through all of that couldn't let go of the attention. Still tried to feel relevant. Hitler wouldn't have Michael Jackson. I mean MJ either. Michael Jackson was releasing albums after people said and pretty good evidence behind it that he was seven year olds and he's like nope, I'm going to still be in. I'm still releasing music to the people. I'm quitting. There's in a second of my day where I'm writing songs again. They're really gonna love this one. Despite them thinking that I 7 year olds like no hehe. I can pretty on things like he's singing. Yeah it's just to me those I just don't buy the whole fake death thing but you know people have done it. I just can't imagine I don't fight.

[Toledo]

In like the after seeing some of this stuff and that's been around for a long time on, on Hitler documentaries and stuff. I don't, I don't find it's far fetched.

[John Holmberg]

You think it, you think well, because.

[Toledo]

I think, well the things that we found out afterwards, not, not necessarily tied into the Hitler stuff, but when that war ended. Yeah, I mean look at the race, you know, again it's a movie, but you see a little bit of it like the monument men. Okay, all the gold, all the.

[John Holmberg]

Is it real? That was George Clooney. I mean you can't really even slide.

[Toledo]

The fact that they recovered a lot of that stuff and stuff that was hidden.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Well, yeah, there's nothing wrong.

[Toledo]

And then the missing part that we don't have all, you know, we turn and divide it up. You know, it was basically, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

No, that belongs to me. Like he would have popped up and said, no, it's not on yours, you jerk.

[Toledo]

As far as being a negotiation of the people that were running it are saying, all right, it's going to end. Like I don't find it that far fetched that we're going to stage it that you're going to die in this bunker here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, to tell him that.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But okay, my, my theory exactly. Keep him quiet how he almost took over the world. Dudes like that don't settle in just with a gun to their head. They'd be like, no, we were moving Argentina. You're going to be quiet. You're gonna live your life out there. Okay, Sorry about that whole thing.

[Brett]

Hold my Heineken.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, hold my Heineken. Watch this. And the second he goes to the map store and gets a map and a few sticks like, no, he's at it again.

[Brett]

He's playing a risk.

[John Holmberg]

He's doing it again. No, this is what I do this time. What country is next to Argentina? I bet you I could swallow that one up. I don't even know where Argentina is. It's around here somewhere. I always confuse Argentina and Portugal and I don't know why, but doesn't matter. I just can't imagine that. So I just don't, I don't fake in your death. Michael Jackson faked his death. You wouldn't recognize that. Where's he living?

[Brett]

You know, nowadays it's tougher and tougher to get the news between social media and news outlets leaning one way or another. And look, this isn't about taking sides. This is about getting the information for yourself. And there's one source to get all the news that's not one sided. And as a matter of fact, this source gives you all sides in one one place. And that's ground news. Ground news is your one stop shop to get all the news from all the sides, yours, theirs and everything in between. Ground News takes all sides and lets you form your own opinion by posting all the news from all the different leaning services. So you can make the comparisons and form your own opinion. And you get to read what the Guardian, Fox News and even what the social media sites are posting. And the best part is you can get it [e-mail] and right now you can get 40 off their unlimited access Vantage subscription by going to groundnews.comberg. that's groundnews.com why be persuaded by social media, big business and news outlets with their own agenda? Check out groundnews.com today and form your own opinion. And don't forget to save yourself that 40% right now by going to ground.

[John Holmberg]

News.Com Holmberg Holmberg's morning sickness and why. And plus he, you know, it's. It's coming to America. He's not going to be poor. You're not going to send him to Ghana to start over and the dude start in a way he'd be like, this sucks. I can't do it.

[Brett]

Zamunda.

[John Holmberg]

He maybe did move to Zamunda, but he. What? He, he would have become king. Yes. Of Zumunda accidentally. Because one guy would have gone. You are not going to believe what I think is happening. The white woman that lives next to me is Michael Jackson. That's crazy. Click, click. You are not speaking our language. Stop saying click, click. I knew it. You are trying so hard to hide your identity, Mr. Jackson. No, no, my name's Leaf Tree. Click, click. It is not. Yeah, I don't know. So. April Fool's Day. And I just don't believe the fake your death thing. Fake your death, you know, are for, you know, people just disappear. Like, you know, it happens, you know, I was asked you just googled Napoleon.

[Toledo]

I was wondering like what happened after that happened, you know, after the Waterloo, Napoleon was sent to the remote island of St Helena where he lived in exile until his death in 1821, they said. Death? He died on May 5, 1821 at the age of 51. While there were rumors, poisoning happened.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't know what you're talking about. Why is Napoleon involved?

[Toledo]

Well, that's a guy that wanted to take over the world.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And he lived in exile. He was watched. They knew where he was. It wasn't like he faked it and then turned into something else and some other city. They knew exactly where he was put.

[Toledo]

In exile, was he? Well, if that according to the documents.

[John Holmberg]

If you're an exile.

[Toledo]

Real.

[John Holmberg]

If you're in. No, that's not exile. That's allowing him to live under an assumed identity. They put Napoleon on an island and said, we know where you are. Don't screw around. You move, we see it. We're watching you. Hitler, maybe they told him that he's not gonna stop. If he's free to move around, he's free to move. Why would they just shoot him? Doesn't make any sense.

[Brett]

I didn't like, say he took a sub or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

They said that he was. He snuck out through tunnels. This is what the Argentinian president said. And they subbed him over and then they got him over here to Argentina on U boats after the war.

[Toledo]

U boats.

[John Holmberg]

Which means there were still a lot of Nazis helping out. He was. He was in a U boat with a bunch of guys going, we'll start over, right? Oh, you know it. Once I get to my new. Hey, guys, when I get settled in, who starts this whole thing again? But he's down in Argentina going, there are no Jews. This is great.

[Brett]

I still know how that U boat can make it from back in the day to Germany to Argentina. It's like. It's not like they're running the Red October or something under the ocean.

[John Holmberg]

They had some nice ones. My. My grandfather's job for a year was to, like, he was helping out with boat stuff on the Queen Mary. And they would zigzag the Queen Mary up and down the Atlantic to try to draw U boats with and dare them to shoot down passenger boats. I don't know who's still going on cruises, but they took the Queen Mary up from. I think it was from Guinea. Sorry. And my grandpa was down there and he was an air. He was an airplane mechanic. So to get him to another airfield, they took the Queen Mary. And he said the U boats were everywhere and they could follow them all over the place. I don't know how U boats work. I don't know where Argentina is compared to Germany. And. Is that a 1 tank of gas kind of thing?

[Brett]

It can't be. It's 7,000 miles. I just looked it up. Over 7,000.

[John Holmberg]

I think maybe they were like, you'd stop it. Okay, we're going to stop in a Cooter's gas station. Okay, we'll take. I think we can go. He's got a mat. I'm great with math. We'll roll over here into the Caribbean. I stop at St. Thomas. They have a couple of places. Get some sunglasses. Fuel up. You'd have to. Everyone would have to be in on this. You boating him over to Argentina, some.

[Brett]

Pina coladas while he's there and just.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of surfaces a bunch of island beach. Hey guys, we need some gas. Where are you going, Hitler? I'm not Hitler. Yes, you are. This is the kind of Nazi symbol on the side of this boat here. We just need some gas. We're trying to get to Argentina for spring break. It's far fetched.

[Brett]

That's just.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. But it's out there and it's news that's kind of surfaced again. So I don't understand it, but I just don't buy that anyone with that kind of power can fake their own death and then succeed in hiding until they die. It's never happened. It's never occurred. Only time it happens is when witness relocation and they want to live lives and they. They're afraid they're gonna get blown up. Hitler, he wasn't one of those guys. He kind of put his face on a. On a product. You know, even the people at Uncle Ben's fought for a while to keep the face on the product, as wrong as it was.

[Brett]

And Jemima too.

[John Holmberg]

And Jemima, they fought real hard. They gotta keep her on there. It's like, wow, can we just take the bandana off? I suppose. But I mean, why not just change it all together? No, that's hers. And you know, Hitler would have had one day with a. With a pint and an Argentinian guy in town. Did I ever tell you I was what I used to do for a living? No, you never really opened up about your past. Brace yourself. This is going to be a bumpy rock. You've heard of World War II, right? Yeah, that was me. Oh, right. You look familiar. And then people are like, it's not you. And then he'd take a sip of a foamy beer and then brush the foam off of his lip. How about now? Oh my God, it is you. Anyway, thanks to Doug for that one because he's got me on now. My algorithm on my phone is all Hitler stuff. I couldn't stop reading about it last night.

[Toledo]

And the fact. The impact that he had that the other the doctors or ever are still in that other town trying to create. You got all these blonde hair, blue eyed.

[John Holmberg]

That was down in Brazil.

[Brett]

They're really stretching down there.

[John Holmberg]

But that was the scientist. That was the one. Yeah, well, they were killing it and they stretching. They did it. And people noticed. But those were the genetic Scientists. Those dudes had an idea with or without Hitler, and they went down there. They're experts.

[Toledo]

I thought they were the German.

[John Holmberg]

They were, but they were. Those guys were in on something along, like, we can build humans. I mean, that would be true of anybody that started genetic science. They want to build their own thing. And those guys went down and continued their work. I think they felt like we're halfway home to making this possible. Where imagine the money involved in being able to tell a mother, what do you want? I can make it anything you want. You can tell anybody. Like, I can, like, I can make it black, I can make it white. I can make it girl. Boy, blue eyes. And as much as we change our. Our structure now, they were way ahead of the game. If you could build your kid and point out which features you want, you didn't have to deal with, you know, genetic lottery. You could alter it. We'd be doing that. First things first. I mean, for me, if I ever. Jesus Christ. If I had a kid and the doctors are like, we can change some stuff. I'm like, all right. Make it not look like me at all. It's a hellscape for this kid, if that. Trust me, I've lived this life with this face. No more of that. Kill its nose. If the nose starts growing at all, just get rid of that left handed power arm. Oh, left. How many pitchers would there be? I want him to be genetically powerful. I want him to be left handed.

[Brett]

Jason Momoa.

[John Holmberg]

I want his eyes to be piercing blue, almost ghostly. And you could do that? You think people wouldn't pay top dollar for that? You don't think Ronnie looked at you and said, I'm gonna mix mine with his and we're gonna make a kid. And luckily it did. Okay. But you cross your fingers and hope it doesn't come out looking like just you. That's what I do.

[Toledo]

That's his goal.

[John Holmberg]

No, it wasn't. That's nobody's goal. Same with me. 90% of the reason I didn't have kids is cause of my face. What I would have passed on to a girl. Sweet Jesus, I'd have hung her for her.

[Brett]

It'd be all right if it looked like Megan.

[John Holmberg]

But you. Oh, yeah, but. But you're taking the chance. Yeah, yeah. I'm half of the equation here. I've seen what Holmberg women look like. Me when I dressed up as Tina Turner for Halloween a couple years ago. Put that wig on. I'm like, holy Christ. I'm my sister, my dad. Jesus, you Look a lot like Dan. I know. Horrifying. You go to a Holmberg family reunion, this knows it might as well be the logo. It's been passed on for generations. My grandmother had it. Isabel. Lovely lady. Not physically. She would hand out photos. Like, show us pictures. You know, when old people only had like nine pictures of themselves their whole lives. And she'd be like, this is me in high school. And everyone would laugh. It was the style back then to have a nose the size of a car. That's rude, Izzy. That's a big nose. And she was on the Johnson side, Holmberg side. Had big noses, too. Square jaws, huge nose. If I could genetically alter that. People ask, how come you never wanted. Doug asked me that the other day. Why didn't you ever want kids? You'd have been a good dad. I'm like, no, I'd have hung my kid. Like, why? Because it would have been the most depressed child in the world. I start to see it develop into me. I'm like, oh, poor little bastard. And he's just. Get a rope around his neck. Get used to this. You're gonna kill me. Trust me, you'll thank me later. Well, you won't. But trust me.

[Brett]

Be able to tie his shoes and nooses at three. Three years old.

[John Holmberg]

Three years old kid can tie slipknots like nobody's business.

[Toledo]

The other one first.

[John Holmberg]

Why is your daughter learning how to slipknot so easy? She's gonna need it. I'm not buying plastic surgery for a kid. But trust me, if she's got that Holmberg notes, we're wait it out for eight years. But if that's. If that starts jutting out, we're going to take care of her before the real pain starts to slip in. Yeah. No girl should walk around with this face. And that would be my fault. And I couldn't live with myself. So ask the question again. Why don't you have kids? You're looking at it.

[Brett]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. You're looking.

[Toledo]

The line stops here.

[John Holmberg]

Ends today. I told my dad, he goes, you don't want to have kids, the name dies with you. I'm like, first off, that's awesome. I don't know who ever thought that would be something. Then I'd just be one of many. No, I'm the last one. I. I control it. Second, look at me. What if I had a girl? And my dad goes, yeah, good point. Like, he knew. He knew. He knew what he'd done. He knew what he did. He knew his crime. Yeah. You're right. You probably should, just in case. But what if it comes out beautiful? What if it doesn't? You make a good point. That's solid. It's 5050 logic. I like it.

[Brett]

You're not playing the odds.

[John Holmberg]

Smart. Yeah, smart. Man. I got a girl with a forehead so big they should paint it white so birds don't fly into it, and a nose the size of a Ford. And I'm supposed to go, isn't she beautiful? No. And then everybody leaves and goes, what the hell's up with Holmberg's daughter? And she knocked over two vases just turning around. I did her a favor. You're welcome, baby. Holmberg, you're welcome. My seed is better served on a tummy, not in one. God damn it. That's an epitaph. I've never wanted to be buried before, but now I want a tombstone, and I want that in quotes on there with the date 4125. His seed was best served on a tummy, not in one. Let's get a wake up song. 585 9. 800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD WA YA. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station issue.