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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo from Homework's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health. I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. Now, nearly six months later, I'm feeling like my old old self again. Go to gameday phoenix.com today and book a free consultation in a matter of minutes at GameDay's in house lab. A licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to incorporate any number of these therap fees to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging and it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's Health locations in the valley@gameday phoenix.com It's Brett Vesley.
Brett Vesely
From Homeburg's Morning Sickness and I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all look. When it comes to H vac, plumbing or electrical issues, their certified professional technicians deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate. Right now Patrick Riley is a special for you guys. 1500 dollars off a new AC system install plus up to 1100 dollars in additional rebates same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out online@patrickrileyservices.com you thought that was funny?
Brady
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? She's the one we just tried to rattle off. If there's any barbers that are. Remember the barber that last year was mad and then she said she would kill a dog, Remember? And that's when we started to rip on her as the wicked witch. I'll kill her dog too. Then she called and asked me to stop because she's a horrible letter she wrote that was just awful. And then she regretted it. And then of course the drunk last year that tried to get us all fired, he didn't even listen. He's like Barbara, he didn't listen. He listened to something. He got so mad at it because he got fired up. He started trying to get us fired. A year later emails back apologizing that he was an alcoholic and he'd lost his mind and we were on his list for apologies. And again, I don't accept your apology.
Dick Toledo
I give you some rundown, a few of the Barbara's.
Brady
Yeah, good ones.
Dick Toledo
You give Me your Yelp review on them.
Brady
Barbara Billingsley Brett brought up, which is good because she spoke jive on our platform.
Dick Toledo
Barbara Bush.
Brady
She seemed fun.
Dick Toledo
Barbara Walters.
Brady
Let me say this. A modern day Barbara.
Brett Vesely
Old Barbara's Barbara Eden.
Brady
Was anybody over 70? All the good ones are over 7.
Dick Toledo
There's any young one.
Larry McFeely
Barbara Hershey, Barbara Mandrell, Barbara Stanwyck.
Brady
He already said that. Oh, all of them are like 80 plus if they're 70 and over. They're barbers from another time. Modern day barbers. No good.
Dick Toledo
You're right.
Brady
And I think they're just mad because they got an old lady name and more than likely a caboose to match.
Brett Vesely
Streisand's. Your people too, right?
Brady
I don't know that I'd hang out with her, though. Here it comes. She's gonna write another letter. You're just nothing but a poor man's Howard Stern. Exactly. And if I could have that AI nun right now riding me in front of you, Barbara, I would do it.
Dick Toledo
And even AI can't give me one that's like under 50.
Brady
Yeah, there aren't any Red Robin. Wouldn't you like to see me on top? On top of that nun? Oh, my God. AI Nun and AI Poor man's Howard Stern writing, right? Oh, it would be unbelievable. Don't you think that would be great. Brittle Juice. Bubba Bastard. That's right. Well played, Baba Bastard. See, Baba Bastard's AI as well. And we don't want to him. But I would love that. Love to be on top of that incredible AI nun and hear her scream out God's name. AI style. Barbara. Give her some suggestions. Maybe email her back and say, hey, you know, KSLX has a nice show. Safe, simple, humorless. You're gonna love it.
Brett Vesely
There's some porn stars named Barbara.
Larry McFeely
She's got an H in it, though. I just think bad Barbie.
Brady
But that's Barbie. That could very well be its own name. On its own, she could be a Barbara. Not sure when hang out with her either. Either way, it's time for the entertainment drill. Defend yourself from letters reactdefense.com. delete email back. Barbara, you're the new kid in town, and I think you just need to learn. She sounds like Stu's girlfriend from the hangover. I love that.
Dick Toledo
All right, finally, AI came up with one Barbie. Sue.
Brady
It's a Barbie.
Dick Toledo
Taiwanese actress, singer, and television.
Brady
That's not a Barbara. That's a Barbie.
Larry McFeely
50.
Brady
Barbies are auto fun. Barbaras are letter writers. If it wasn't for Karen Barbara would have won that.
Dick Toledo
Oh, without a doubt.
Brady
We had Linda as Our original writer 21 years ago. 24 years ago, when the original Fat Linda emailed in.
Dick Toledo
And that stuck for a long time.
Brady
Yeah, Fat Linda stayed until Karen took over. And that wasn't our doing.
Brett Vesely
Barbara Bieber.
Brady
That's a porn star named Barbara Bieber.
Dick Toledo
Mm. Okay. All right.
Brady
Is it Bieber or Beaver?
Dick Toledo
Barbara Dee, I don't like B. I'm unfamiliar with Barbad.
Brady
I like Barbara Dee, but better than Barbara D. That's the best a barber can be. Barbara Rose, the best the barber can be. Porn star barbers are the best barbers ever. There they go again. You should write another letter. Honey, it's working. Get her. Get her. Smash her into the earth. Somebody should take away your keyboard. Touch grass. We learned that today. Hey, Barbara, go touch grass. You're on the keyboard too much, John.
Dick Toledo
You're right. I bet this lady wants her friends to call her Barbie so she can feel young and relevant.
Brady
Right? And somehow thinner. I cut off a couple extra letters. It feels like I dropped 20 pounds. Call me Babs. I'll be anorexic before you know it. Looking good, honey. What are you doing? Are you down to a size 14 now? Geez, you better watch out. If James Gum sees, he's gonna want your skin.
Brett Vesely
Barbara Mori from Univision fame.
Brady
No, no, that's a lot. Univision. Maybe that's her. It's time now for Brady to entertain us all. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the home of tactical black self defense training. And if you want to get in on this, all their courses are going. But Barbara, you should go out there, sign up for that thing. They have a women's self defense course. And as many people have you pissed off in your brand new town, you might want to, you know, learn some fisticuffs. Get on out there, anybody's welcome. Well, that's not altogether true. They'll turn away jerks. But if you're out there and you want to get better at being you, become a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep and get involved in this self defense training that is unmatched. Unlike anywhere else, you are not getting this training for this price. You're not getting this training for any price anywhere else, let alone the price they're giving. 199 bucks for two months of personal training and you're gonna walk away from that thing a different animal? Trust me. Confidence soars when you get through this thing because you realize what you're actually capable of. Some impressive stuff. You might think you're capable of things and you'd be put in a situation to go, oh, I wouldn't have known what to do. They changed that in heartbeat. You can go through all the scenarios you can imagine. They've done it all. Machetes, hammers, knives, guns, all that stuff. Anything that requires self defense, they've got a scenario and they'll work you right through it. It's amazing. Get on up there. Check it out. Reactdefense.com all their seminars, all their classes listed right there at their website. It's the home of tactical Black Brady. Entertain me.
Unknown
It's Larry McFeely. And whether you're tearing up desert trails in a Tacoma, towing your toys with a tough tundra, or exploring the back roads in the all new 4Runner, your Toyota is built to go the dist. Now, obviously our roads and weather can be brutal. That's why keeping your Toyota in top shape is key. Trust only genuine Toyota technicians with genuine Toyota parts. From oil changes to full checkups, your valley Toyota dealer has got you covered. So before you hit the trail, hit the Service Bay, visit YourValleyToyotaDealer or ValleyToyotaDealers.com Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.
All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand Up Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Dick Toledo
Real quick, a listener says, guys, I'm behind. Barbara right now says, this van runs on Jesus coffee and chick fil a. It's got the outline of a pig with a bow tie on the side of it.
Brady
The first thing I saw was the pig wearing the beautiful. It's not a bow tie, is it? It's a hair tie. Pretty hair tie bow, which is exactly.
Larry McFeely
Like a cheer bow with a pig.
Brady
That's an actual drawing of Barbara. It's not a pig at all. He's kind of pug nose.
Dick Toledo
Jesus coffee and chick fil a.
Brady
Is Jesus comma coffee or Jesus coffee? What's Jesus comma Oh, there's a comma. Okay. She bought a sticker that said that.
Brett Vesely
Somebody makes that sticker.
Dick Toledo
Probably a custom job.
Brady
This man runs on. It's like when I was joking around at the comedy show. And earlier in the week I'd seen the family that had the stick figures. And then one of them was flying angel winks. Like somebody makes that. That's a pretty targeted audience to go. One of your kids dead? Cause I got a stick figure in the back with wings on it.
Dick Toledo
To be fair, my dad has one.
Brady
One in the back. Just looking in. This fan runs on Jesus. No, it doesn't. It runs on gasoline, you moron. Try stuffing Jesus coffee and Chick fil a in your gas can. See how far you are. Yeah. How about the accelerator? Let's do some reality here, nutbag. This car simply goes on Jesus. Yeah. Run out of gas and go. All right, Lord. I brought the coffee and the waffle fries. See if you can fire this beast up and get me to work.
Dick Toledo
Thanks to the listener who sent that in.
Brady
Good thinking, honey. No reason to go get petrol at all when we've got Jesus coffee and chicken. Car should go anywhere we want. Really? I read about this online. So life hack people don't know. You don't need gas anymore. Just need to believe in Christ. Have some. You ban. Go get yourself one of those delicious grilled chicken sandwiches.
Dick Toledo
John. You know, you could always apologize to Barbara by giving her a gift certificate to any one of the fine establishments at 27th Avenue in Indian school.
Brady
Yeah, get you a free stay at the old Nights Inn. Brady. Go ahead. Sorry we're crushing Barbara forever.
Larry McFeely
John Wick spin off movie Ballerina hits the theaters in June. That's not the end of the franchise though. There's a bunch of stuff coming out, including John Wick 5. And yes, Keanu Reeves is back. Even though he supposedly died at the end of John Wick 4.
Brady
He's a ghost.
Larry McFeely
He's also in Ballerina. In addition to John Wick Chapter 5, there will be an also be an animated prequel film, a spin off movie featuring Kane the blind assassin played by Donnie Yen in Chapter four.
Brady
I don't remember any of that.
Dick Toledo
Nope.
Brady
By the way, this guy says my wife doesn't do anything for me orally at all. Honey, do better sign. Barbara's husband.
Larry McFeely
Cardi B says her ex husband Offset has been harassing her for months. Banging her, begging her.
Brett Vesely
Doesn't say wow to take.
Larry McFeely
And threatening murder, suicide.
Brady
If she doesn't take him back, he'll kill her and Himself.
Larry McFeely
And then he's also sending revenge porn of the two of them to Cardi. Cardi's new man.
Brady
Quite an offer.
Dick Toledo
So wait, somehow he got the phone number of Cardi's new man?
Brady
Sure. They probably have the same agent.
Larry McFeely
Paul Rudd said there's only one guy he can't stand. It's a dentist who screwed up his teeth decades ago. He just. He was in his late 20s, and he appeared in the movie Clueless and said that went to a dentist. And the guy said he needed some preventative stuff. And since he was a professional, Paul believed him. Said the guy screwed up my teeth so badly.
Brady
Wow.
Larry McFeely
It's one of the things that I carry around. Still furious to this day. I can't remember the guy's name, if he's reading this or if he sees this little article.
Brady
You can't remember where you got your teeth?
Larry McFeely
I know I would have remembered that.
Brady
Me too. I know where my dentists are. I know where old dentists that I used to go to are and what their buildings are now.
Dick Toledo
All right, name one.
Brady
How? Well, it was over on McClintock, probably close to Broadway. Can't remember his last name.
Dick Toledo
By the Ted's hot dogs.
Brady
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
Dr. McLaughlin. Dr. Wayne.
Brady
Yeah. You know yours.
Larry McFeely
Greg Manning is the most recent Dr. King.
Dick Toledo
I remember none. Dr. King.
Brady
Dr. Alphabet. I did. Dr. King was my first dentist. I had a dream that I would floss.
Dick Toledo
And did you?
Brady
No.
Dick Toledo
No more.
Larry McFeely
Povich just started his new podcast.
Dick Toledo
Mopo.
Larry McFeely
Yep. With Connie.
Brady
Yeah. They were talking about sex. First day.
Larry McFeely
Nobody Sunday is their day.
Brady
Yeah. That they have sex.
Brett Vesely
I won't be tuning in.
Brady
They have scheduled sex.
Larry McFeely
They still grind every Sunday.
Brady
Like Barbara and her husband. We have some audio of that and they are active. I just got that. That's new listener. Barbara and her cuck husband having sex on their monthly session.
Larry McFeely
It's the therapy monthly.
Brady
Is that you, Barbara? That's me. Thanks, Trevor. You planted that seed. That's it for us. We're all done. We're not gonna get to move. What's the matter?
Brett Vesely
Not the Noah. Just texting. I just tuned in. What's this bitch's problem?
Brady
Listen to podcast. It's all available for you and Barbara both. And to those of you who still think I do, I don't give a about your opinion. So don't just email the air. Speak it into existence in your car.
Dick Toledo
Hey, front butt. Barbara, lay off the donuts and listen to Katie KB their dei.
Brady
Yeah, go nuts. I don't. I don't care. This is Funny, my fiance hates your show, but I force her to listen to it. At times it's even funnier that way. Your top salesperson, Tom Wintermeyer is her uncle. Sounded more than me. Tom, move. You don't have to like it. Just turn it off. Go away. I don't care. I'm just gonna make fun of you. It's gonna be worse for you. This is terrible.
Larry McFeely
Keep writing. Keep writing.
Brady
Literally, I'm like punching one of those armless bobs. Yes, you can't. It doesn't hurt. But when your hand hurts at the end, you're gonna be like, I shouldn't have hit it that hard. I was dumb.
Dick Toledo
Probably shouldn't have done that.
Larry McFeely
The sparring dummies.
Brady
Yeah, the sparring dummies. Just sit there and just like, I don't care. Like I look a little like them and I'm kind of the same. Exact amount of emotion. That's it. Larry's coming up next. Now, if you want to hurt somebody's feelings, this is your guy. Don't write him nasty letters. He. He very, very sad man when he gets through that. So you gotta be nice to Larry. I always say that. Be nice to Larry. He's always nice to you. I'm on the fence. Yeah, he's up next. He's got all sorts. I think he's got you fest tickets today to find out if and give you those. And nothing for Barbara. That's it. We're all done. You guys have yourselves a great day. We'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Brett Vesely
It's Brett Vesely from Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now, Patrick Riley is your total home sol provider where one call does it all look. When it comes to H Vac, plumbing or electrical issues, they're certified professional technicians. Deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate. Right now, Patrick Riley is a special for you guys. 1500 dollars off a new AC system install, plus up to 1100 dollars in additional rebates. They offer same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out online@patrick rileyservices.com from Monument.
Dick Toledo
Valley to Sedona, Horseshoe Bend, Grand Canyon and more. You might think you've seen all Arizona has to offer. Well, I'd tell you if you haven't been fishing in Arizona, you haven't seen a thing. It's Dick Toledo from Homework's morning sickness. And my first time fishing in Arizona was up in Greer with my friend Jeremy. He was the pro that I'm definitely not. But grabbing a fishing license that weekend was the passport that opened up the whole state to me. And you can get your license@azgfd.gov and discover for yourself a whole new way to take in the Arizona sites.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Podcast Summary Episode: April 2, 2025 – "Entertainment Drill - WED - Trying To Name Any Good Barbaras And We Can't Come Up w/Any"
In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo engage in lively and humorous discussions. The episode primarily revolves around the challenge of naming notable individuals named Barbara, interspersed with entertaining anecdotes, listener interactions, and updates on entertainment and celebrity news.
The segment kicks off with Brady expressing frustration over their inability to name any notable Barbaras. The conversation quickly becomes a comedic exploration of various public figures named Barbara, highlighting the difficulty the hosts have in recalling contemporary Barbations.
Brady Bogen [01:15]:
"You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?"
Dick Toledo [02:10]:
"I give you some rundown, a few of the Barbara's."
The hosts attempt to list famous Barbaras, leading to humorous dismissals of older celebrities whose fame may not resonate with the current audience.
The discussion highlights the generational gap in recognizing contemporary figures named Barbara, as well as playful jabs at outdated or irrelevant names.
A significant portion of the episode involves interacting with listeners' submissions. One notable contribution describes a van adorned with "Jesus coffee and Chick fil a," featuring a pig with a bow tie.
The hosts humorously dissect the listener's description, debating the authenticity and artistic value of the van's design.
This segment showcases the hosts' quick wit and ability to engage with their audience in a lighthearted manner.
Transitioning from the Barbara discussion, the hosts provide updates on local comedy events, encouraging listeners to attend performances by comedians like Leo Gonzalez, Randy Felt Face, and Gary Owen.
This segment serves as a valuable resource for listeners seeking weekend entertainment options in the valley.
The conversation shifts to recent celebrity news, including Cardi B's alleged harassment by her ex-husband Offset, and updates on the John Wick movie franchise.
Larry McFeely [12:31]:
"Cardi B says her ex husband Offset has been harassing her for months. Banging her, begging her."
Larry McFeely [11:38]:
"He's a ghost."
Regarding Keanu Reeves' character in John Wick.
The hosts provide insightful commentary on these topics, blending factual information with their signature humor.
Throughout the episode, Brady and Dick Toledo engage in playful mockery, particularly targeting a recurring character named Barbara. They joke about her habits, relationships, and personal life, adding a personal and humorous touch to the show.
Brady Bogen [10:43]:
"Barbara, you're the new kid in town, and I think you just need to learn."
Dick Toledo [11:09]:
"You could always apologize to Barbara by giving her a gift certificate to any one of the fine establishments at 27th Avenue in Indian school."
These exchanges exemplify the hosts' chemistry and their ability to entertain listeners with relatable and amusing narratives.
As the episode nears its end, the hosts continue their banter, discussing future segments and encouraging listeners to engage with the show.
Brady Bogen [16:01]:
"The sparring dummies. Yeah, the sparring dummies. Just sit there and just like, I don't care."
Dick Toledo [16:02]:
"Probably shouldn't have done that."
The episode concludes with a reminder of the podcast's availability and a tease of upcoming content, maintaining listener interest for future episodes.
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humor, listener interaction, and up-to-date entertainment news. The hosts effectively engage with each other and their audience, creating an entertaining and relatable listening experience. Whether discussing the elusive Barbias, sharing comedic insights, or providing the latest celebrity scoop, John Holmberg and his team ensure that listeners are both informed and amused.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Brady Bogen [01:15]: "You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?"
Dick Toledo [02:10]: "I give you some rundown, a few of the Barbara's."
Brady Bogen [10:11]: "Try stuffing Jesus coffee and Chick fil a in your gas can. See how far you are."
Larry McFeely [12:31]: "Cardi B says her ex husband Offset has been harassing her for months. Banging her, begging her."
For more episodes and updates, tune in to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD or visit www.98kupd.com.