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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's morning sickness for Game Day Men's Health. I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. Now, nearly six months later, I'm feeling like my old old self again. Go to gameday phoenix.com today and book a free consultation in a matter of minutes at Game Day's in house lab. A licensed game day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to incorporate any number of these therap to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging and it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's health locations in the valley. @Gameday Phoenix.com It's Brett Vesely from Holmberg's.
Brett Vesely
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Dick Toledo
You thought that was funny?
Dale
You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Battle that. That. That. That. That's Germany. It's Germany, Dale. Germany.
Larry McFeely
You have nine seconds. We literally had to wait till the very end of that nonsense.
Dale
That is an international song.
Larry McFeely
I need some lu.
Dale
Oh, we got a theme song for you, pal. The video first. Let's play the video first. I want to show you this. Now, Dale, you have to be a grown man, okay? You have to understand. We just invented this.
Larry McFeely
Is this gonna be gross?
Dale
A little.
Brady
Pretty much.
Dale
Just. But just be a grown up and recognize gross happens. Okay. You like ponies, right? You like sound of horses? Watch.
Larry McFeely
Look, look, look.
Dale
Look at the screen and watch.
Larry McFeely
No, just watch it.
Dale
Dale, listen.
Larry McFeely
No.
Dale
Dale. It sounds like a just clopping along right now.
Larry McFeely
Is this.
Dale
Just look, just do me a favor and look. You don't turn your head and look at that. Look at her.
Brady
Now, Dale, we've made tried to canter there.
Dale
We have made magic with this for you. Yes, with a country song. Okay, We've Taken those very noises. What's keeping the beat? Nailed.
Larry McFeely
Did you make her hold that big.
Dale
Yes. Me and Michael Irvin spent the weekend at the courtyard. Yeah, that's her. I'm keeping time.
Larry McFeely
You played this right after you lectured your listeners about being mature.
Dale
That's right, Dale. Yes. Right down.
Brett Vesely
The show's all about maturity.
Dale
It's maturity and art, Dale. You're just not.
Larry McFeely
I didn't hear that part because I was driving over, but I think you're talking about the Tesla stuff.
Dale
Yes.
Larry McFeely
Yes. How stupid are people?
Dale
Hold on. Quiet. Enjoy the.
Larry McFeely
Oh, you heard this four times.
Dale
That's not enough.
Larry McFeely
Is that Big Dick singing?
Dale
No, that's it.
Larry McFeely
Sound like Big Dick singing?
Dale
No, it's David Lee Roth.
Larry McFeely
What?
Dale
Yeah, David Lee Roth covered that.
Larry McFeely
Really?
Dale
So there you go. Welcome. So we. That's your theme song. Because we'll take bodily noises and make art out of them. Because we are a renaissance show.
Larry McFeely
If you didn't know that those were bodily noises, right? You wouldn't even know.
Dale
Isn't that beautiful?
Brady
That's the magic.
Dale
Isn't that the magic of. It's the magic of art, Dale.
Larry McFeely
You guys are sick and wrong.
Dale
Like there's that lady that paints with her menstruation blood. That's right, Dale. Finger paints.
Larry McFeely
Where do you.
Dale
Cuz. Where do you find this man of the world, Dale? Hell, a man of the world.
Larry McFeely
Brady.
Dale
No, I don't. I don't find out the Brady.
Brady
It's out there, Dale.
Dale
It's all out there. They walk amongst us. And so sometimes you just have to realize that that's art. That maybe I should open my eyes.
Larry McFeely
Okay.
Dale
You know, maybe you should. Yeah. Wouldn't you be. Wouldn't you be amazed that Mar. Morgan Wallen. Most of his music is just diarrhea. And he sings over. Because that's what it sounds like to me. Prov.
Larry McFeely
That was not bad.
Dale
Prove me wrong. And by the way, that lady's song. A lot more tolerable than any of the country music that you listen to because it's all dudes on the toilet having diarrhea.
Larry McFeely
What about Carrie Underwood?
Dale
I don't like her music.
Larry McFeely
How can you not like her music?
Dale
Cuz it's. It's diarrhea.
Larry McFeely
Sunday night. It's a Sunday night football. Come on.
Dale
That's the. That is. No, that's just terrible.
Larry McFeely
It's. It's just the old you have no taste.
Dale
You know, maybe that's true. Some of that. Dale. Hell, straight here. It's Thursday. That means Dale's Gonna sit here for a little while and talk about stuff. And it's brought to you by our friends at Prestige billiards. Prestige Billiards AZ.com is where you go for game room fun and all the things you'd need to load up your house with fun things, game room style. He's got all the video games, pool tables, all the stuff for your pool table. Air hockey, those. What is that sand game called? I gotta get one of those.
Brett Vesely
Oh, shuffleboard.
Larry McFeely
Shuffleboard.
Dale
Oh, those are so cool. My friend has one at his house. It's just awesome. I go, I was watching his dogs the other day. Played my alone. Played by myself at his house. It's shuffleboard alone. It's kind of sad.
Larry McFeely
You win.
Dale
I did. I was. Yeah.
Brett Vesely
It was tough though, wasn't it?
Dale
It was two and one. It went all three games. It was weird. I don't know how I did it. Blues beat the reds. That's all I know. But Dale's here. Prestige Billiards, AZ.com and what's his name again? Meathead. Yeah, Meathead is the code. What was it? Meathead. 98. Yes. Yes. 20% off. That's pretty good. So, Dale, we're talking. You were at the LPGA event last week?
Larry McFeely
Yes, sir.
Dale
And since you were the only witness to this, how was it?
Larry McFeely
It was. It was fantastic.
Dale
Sell me on it. Don't talk about food or accommodations. Sell me on the event.
Larry McFeely
High end liquor.
Dale
Okay, you caught me. You caught me.
Larry McFeely
High end liquor.
Dale
High end. What are we, Casa Azul?
Larry McFeely
We're talking about the kind of vodka you like.
Dale
Tito's. That's the easy middle.
Larry McFeely
That's. That's a little uppercase.
Dale
Tito's like $20 a bot.
Larry McFeely
So how much do you need to spend on a bottle of vodka?
Brady
They don't put Tito's in the well. That's a top shelf.
Dale
It's. It's middle. It's not top shelf.
Larry McFeely
Jack Daniels, Crown Royal.
Dale
Middle. Middle.
Larry McFeely
Well, what the hell is top shelf? Oh, has it got to be in the Rah? Rah room? Yeah, it's got to cost $80.
Dale
It's a little heavy. It can be that. Well, that's why the Rah room's off the list. Getting a little pricey. Yeah, the high end stuff. You start dancing around that, I don't believe high end vodka needs to exist. No, I think that it can be better. I got argument with Tripp about this a while ago. It's just basically fermented potatoes, thyme, some wheat. Like it's really easy if you're going to mix something. Yeah.
Larry McFeely
It's like, why get a high end whiskey if you're going to mix it with coke, you know? I understand.
Dale
You wouldn't mix the whiskey.
Brett Vesely
You would drink it high.
Dale
And whiskey you don't mix.
Larry McFeely
That's what I'm saying. But I would rather enjoy like a Crown and Diet Coke or Jack Daniels.
Dale
So you're admitting it. You stay in the middle.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Dale
And you mix because that stuff's worth pouring something else in. You get 1942 tequila. That stuff's candy.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
You're not mixing Plaza Azul. You're not doing it as a shooter either.
Dale
I don't think that stuff's very good. And it's just expensive.
Brett Vesely
300 bucks a bottle.
Larry McFeely
300 a bottle for a bottle of tequila?
Brett Vesely
At least.
Dale
That's.
Brett Vesely
That's not even high end.
Dale
High end.
Larry McFeely
That got the little thing in the bottom.
Dale
A worm? No. Urban cowboy. Thanks.
Brett Vesely
West Hightower.
Dale
What's the Poppy Pappy something something whiskey is two, two, and ten grand a bottle.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, it's.
Dale
It's between two and ten thousand dollars. About Pappy something. Pappy McGillico. You know what I'm talking? Something Pappy Van Win. That's it.
Larry McFeely
You're just gonna be peeing it out in 15 minutes.
Dale
Maybe. But it tastes amazing.
Larry McFeely
Really.
Dale
It's the same as wine. I don't understand like wine. Although when we had that super expensive wine with Jeff Jr. From Trajan.
Brett Vesely
Opus 1.
Dale
Opus 1. And that was like, that's middle too, when you get into the world of wine. Because there were a couple bottles on that thing that are like 10 grand.
Brett Vesely
How much was Opus?
Dale
Well, it was like three at this place.
Larry McFeely
Three. Okay.
Dale
We didn't pay for it. In fact, the company did. And that was the same day we found out that Thriller from the sports station has to sell plasma to pay his bills. But there we are, spending three grand a bottle. Can't pay Thriller another couple bucks. Look, I'm fine with it. That's just the way the world works. But it did kind of.
Larry McFeely
It brought things into perspective.
Dale
He's crippled. He's got to sell plasma to make his rent.
Larry McFeely
Did he ever make. I heard you guys talk. Did you ever make it back with your dad?
Dale
No. We're still waiting. He's out there. He's out there. So. Still, the only thing that sells me on LPGA is high end liquor.
Larry McFeely
No, no.
Dale
Middle of the road, actually. Middle of the road.
Larry McFeely
Tim Hovik.
Dale
I can go to his car dealership.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, but he won't talk to you.
Dale
Chances are he's not talking. Yeah, that's true.
Larry McFeely
He's talking to me. It. It overlooked the 16th green. It was.
Dale
But there were girls on it.
Larry McFeely
But Johnny, Johnny, you could any of them.
Dale
I'm not saying I could, but that's. That is the argument for girls sports that. That a regular dude.
Larry McFeely
No, no. But hey, you can still appreciate. I forget how long the par four was, but 180 and they're hitting 125 yard wedge shots in and, and. And just appreciate the accuracy and things.
Dale
Like that actually came very protected green on 125.
Larry McFeely
Hey. And when you're 150 yards away, you can't tell if they're boys or girls anyway.
Dale
They all look a little like Brady.
Larry McFeely
And some as they get closer to the green, you still can't.
Dale
That is true.
Larry McFeely
A couple of them you can now.
Dale
I challenged you to send me pictures of the ones that look like Brady.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Dale
And he wouldn't go for the Biggins. He sent me medium sized LPGA golfers. There's one. Oh, sell me that. The girl. Girl. John Daly.
Larry McFeely
That's a girl.
Dale
Haley Moore. It's just an event that doesn't sell. And the reason why is because it's just not that entertaining.
Larry McFeely
No, it is. We were out there for two and a half hours. We ate, we drank, watch sounds a little golf and got out of there.
Dale
Yeah. And just ran away.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Dale
How many people you could do that at a bar. Exactly.
Brett Vesely
You don't have to go to watch it.
Larry McFeely
Why sit inside when it's a gorgeous patios.
Brady
Similar experience at the Spanish.
Dale
No, it's not. Don't compare the two. Well, apples and anvils.
Brady
Apples set up. You're not there to watch golf.
Dale
Nope. No, you're right. But the setup is entertainment, party fun. And if you wanted to watch some golf, you're seeing things you can't possibly see anybody else do. It's like these guys are so far above and beyond anything, but you're not.
Larry McFeely
Having to fight all the traffic because nobody's there.
Dale
It's not an event.
Larry McFeely
I'm not trying to sell it to you.
Dale
Yeah, I asked you to.
Larry McFeely
No, I enjoyed a couple hours.
Dale
Would you go back if it weren't free?
Larry McFeely
No, and I would not go back. It wasn't a tent. Holberg's morning. Holburn's morning sickness.
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Unknown
All right, HMS podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand Up Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Dale
Oh, no kidding. Yes.
Larry McFeely
I'm not with you.
Dale
Yeah, it's just. It's just I get frustrated by that kind of stuff because you. You critique it and their argument is, well, they beat you. And I'm like, every time I said Randy Johnson was off, he didn't say grab a bat. It's just, they know I understand.
Larry McFeely
But it was, again, anybody who can hit a golf ball, back it up, do things like that that I can't do. I appreciate that. Yeah. And it was only for two hours. I wouldn't go out there for four days and spend eight hours out there.
Dale
Can you imagine? You'd have to be. What if one of your kids did it?
Larry McFeely
Well, then you can. You get into it.
Dale
Four days of girls.
Brady
You're following them.
Larry McFeely
I mean, I tried to get my.
Dale
Dale's not following anybody. He can barely get up. It'd be tough.
Brady
It'd be tough.
Larry McFeely
I know. I'm getting one of those little.
Brady
You get one of scooter.
Larry McFeely
Scooters. Oh, yeah. If I walk in 18 holes.
Dale
Oh, no, no. Just generally in life. Are you gonna get a scooter?
Larry McFeely
No. My wife said I should get a handicap placard.
Dale
Too proud.
Larry McFeely
I said, there will come a time when I will actually need.
Dale
Right now. I'm telling you right now. I think that time is now. We're watching you walk and we start crying. You got something going on with your knee or your hip that's making us uncomfortable.
Larry McFeely
Well, my knees bothered me a little bit.
Dale
Let's get these fixed. It is nothing. Do with the weather.
Larry McFeely
So you're going to tell me.
Dale
I am. What's it to you? What, are you writing a book?
Larry McFeely
Well, because at 52. Yeah, I had all my own body parts.
Dale
No, you didn't.
Larry McFeely
Yes, I did.
Dale
You had all your surgeries before 52, you told me. That's when we talked about it.
Larry McFeely
No.
Dale
Yes. You were in your 40s.
Larry McFeely
My hip about 51, I think. 50, 51.
Dale
Oh, you had. So then you did knees and I've.
Larry McFeely
Never had anything done to my knee.
Dale
What's the other. You see, you told me you had like 36 surgeries almost immediately after retiring.
Larry McFeely
No, you got me mixed up with some other.
Dale
No, no, no. I had to help oil you. I had to oil your elbows. We were golfing like Dale. Stuck again.
Larry McFeely
No, I've had my share of surgery, but it's. It's like, why does the NFL give you post career insurance for five years after you retire? I retired at 40.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
I never. I didn't go to a doctor from 40 to 45. I didn't need a doctor. You know, go for a checkup or something.
Dale
You weren't in pain when you quit your career? No, not at all.
Larry McFeely
No, it was. It was now in your 60s.
Dale
But did you feel like you got away with it when you retired? Like, man, I'm feeling really good.
Larry McFeely
No, I knew. I knew it was gonna be painful.
Dale
What was the first sign you're like, that's gonna be.
Larry McFeely
Well, my lower back has always been kind of jacked up, and there's been surgery on that and.
Dale
Did you have to do scoliosis tests in school? We talked about that this morning. Do you remember that in school?
Brady
Spine?
Larry McFeely
I don't.
Dale
For no reason. Every.
Brett Vesely
We did.
Dale
We did. And I really. It dawned on me this morning that that was a thing they used to do the whole day in elementary.
Brady
We did it.
Dale
We did it in junior high and we go into the PE for the hour and you just stand there with your shirt off, bend over a table, and a guy would run his hand up your back and they'd look at you and they'd be like, you're good. Why did school care so much about scoliosis at what, at 12, 13. Then they didn't care ever again. Lice was another one. We had lice checks, but we don't do that as adults.
Larry McFeely
Well, down in Mesa. Oh, yeah.
Dale
No, I never had it. Oh, trust me.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Dale
The kid that had it had to move. If there was one kid that had it.
Larry McFeely
Okay.
Dale
The one kid named Danny. Filthy kid.
Larry McFeely
Okay. You, you kind of skimmed over this, but you bent over a table.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
They made you bend over and the male. Pete.
Brady
And then this probe came in.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
And then did you have shorts on?
Dale
And then this noise happened. Like. I feel all right. I, I got whole talks.
Brady
Your spine's fine, son.
Dale
Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know why. I don't know why they did scoliosis.
Larry McFeely
No. That's kind of weird, especially on a young kid.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
That makes no sense. But it's not contagious, so I don't want to feel. Just feel you up again.
Dale
I think PE coaches just wanted to touch me.
Larry McFeely
Yeah. Were you the only one?
Dale
Every day, let's check for scoliosis. Yeah, I saw him at the Safeway. My head coach, Flake. He's like, let's check for scoliosis.
Larry McFeely
Follow me.
Dale
Like, okay. No, it was just, I. Some weird stuff is wondering if there's.
Brady
This many cases up down at work.
Dale
There weren't many then.
Larry McFeely
That's an old person's thing, scoliosis.
Dale
Young person's thing.
Larry McFeely
Oh, I thought.
Dale
No, you're thinking of older women. Spinal. What is that stuff? When old ladies get.
Larry McFeely
And they don't drink protein and their shoulders start.
Dale
Yeah, they start to slow down.
Larry McFeely
I thought that was scoliosis.
Dale
No, scoliosis is like.
Larry McFeely
I remember we used to have our. We used to get our physicals and you just line up against the wall. Like 20 guys.
Brady
Yep.
Dale
And somebody come by and grab your ball. I remember that, too. And the reason I'm talking about is because some guy emailed and said his kids got two hours of Coffee day today at school, and we didn't have that. We got our nuts juggled.
Larry McFeely
Yes.
Dale
And some guy rubbing my back for a few minutes, see if my spine was okay. Nothing contagious.
Larry McFeely
I, I, I still remember. I think it was probably sixth grade and, you know, you just drop your drawers a little bit as they come by, but there's like two or three of the nerds who dropped them, took them all down.
Dale
I was not that kid.
Larry McFeely
I could see.
Dale
I was not that.
Larry McFeely
No. I was not that kid whose nose down.
Dale
Dale, I'll tell you right now, sixth grade, I was keeping this thing under wraps. I didn't think this was going to be good. Oh, I had micro. Boy. I was not. It was not good for. I gotta. I kept it quiet for A while.
Larry McFeely
When did you start getting facial.
Dale
Underarms? Probably about 8th, 7th, 8th grade.
Larry McFeely
Okay.
Dale
But the pubes didn't show up till 15, 14 and a half.
Larry McFeely
Really?
Dale
Yeah. And I was like, man, they're taking forever. And I would check all the time because it would have made PE a lot less cloak and dagger. There was a, There was a lot of fast telling.
Larry McFeely
Steve, our the co host of your other show. Yeah, the wts. And we're talking about. My grandson started flag football this past weekend. He's four and a half.
Dale
Gotcha.
Larry McFeely
He played quarterback for five downs. He handled the ball.
Dale
Four and a half years old and he's throwing the ball and throwing the ball over.
Larry McFeely
But he also handed it off to the other team so they could. Then they scored. And, and there's parents yelling.
Brady
Just getting used to the rules.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, yeah, there's parents yelling. There's. There's people getting upset. And then they're all five and under, they're a group of friends. And then they play this team, the seven and under league.
Dale
Okay.
Larry McFeely
I think all these. The other team probably turned seven the day before the deadline. So they're old and they line up in the wishbone. They're running triple hops.
Dale
Seven year olds.
Larry McFeely
Yes. They're on triple ops and against our kids.
Dale
They're going pony express on the 4 year olds. Illegal and flag. I would watch that. I would come to see kids doing that.
Larry McFeely
But when we were talking about kids growing because you know, 4, 5, 6, 7 years old, you're gonna have your certain athletes that just shine above everybody. But those usually aren't the guys that are once high school hits are the best athletes. And so I would say what I look at when I work camps, stuff like that, eighth graders, freshmen, do they have any facial area and do you have any underarm hair? Because if you don't.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
They continue to grow. And if you do, because you see a kid show up as a freshman, 61190 and he's got a full beard. He's done 611 90.
Dale
That's a great tactic.
Larry McFeely
And then the last thing you look at is his feet. If he. Like I, as a freshman high school, I was 5, 10.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
135 pounds. And I had size 15ft.
Dale
See, I was about 5, 4, 115 pounds, 13s.
Larry McFeely
Yeah. So you were walking around with clown feet.
Dale
You know, I couldn't play shortstop the last year of little league because my feet big right. I had to, I had to move to third base because this kid is running around with flippers on. I look crazy, right?
Brady
Chicken balls left.
Dale
Since then, my feet have shrunk one size.
Larry McFeely
Yes.
Dale
I'm a 12 now.
Larry McFeely
I've shrunk. I mean, I think I might six six when I came into the league, I probably six four.
Dale
So when you're looking, you're looking at kids. When you're recruiting.
Larry McFeely
Yes.
Dale
You want smooth, publess boys.
Larry McFeely
Well, I get it. I know I don't. Facial hair.
Dale
All right, let me ask you that. Just answer in order of importance, Dale. What do you want when you're looking at an underage boy? Go ahead.
Larry McFeely
I'm not saying that. You guys will bring that back to haunt me.
Dale
What's the first thing you look for in an underage boy? Go.
Larry McFeely
I don't look at underage boys.
Dale
Okay. What do you look at when you're. When you're recruiting 8th graders into your.
Larry McFeely
World as a football player? If I'm trying to forecast right what the kids good boy is going to be in three years, Right?
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
I'm going to look at facial hair.
Dale
And if they don't have any, then.
Larry McFeely
I'm going to say as a chance to.
Dale
And he's an athlete.
Larry McFeely
Especially if you give me some feet.
Dale
Yeah, good feet. So if you're seeing an athlete. Oh, there's a coyote in our parking lot.
Brady
Two coyotes.
Dale
Oh, boy. And they're running out in the road. This could be ugly. Stay in the. Oh, boy. Everybody turn away. Everybody turn away. Anyway, I hate these windows sometimes.
Larry McFeely
Why? Would you care for Kyoto?
Dale
Guys, I just don't want to see stuff get blasted like a dog. That's gross.
Larry McFeely
No, it's not like a dog. It's like a dog. It's a canine, stupid. No, it's not.
Dale
I don't want to see anything.
Larry McFeely
You don't think. Come over here.
Dale
When I'm riding my bike and I see him, I'll feed him, put a leash on them, walk them, teach them a couple tricks.
Brett Vesely
Come on, Marmaduke.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, no, but see, I did so. I didn't even have to. I did not have to shave until I was a sophomore in college.
Dale
And you have a lot now.
Larry McFeely
Not really.
Dale
I'm saying, you know.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, yeah. You're just uglier.
Dale
Well, I don't know. That's a low bar. Let's not have that contest. Nobody's showing up.
Larry McFeely
Trying to get me to say. Say yourself.
Dale
Oh, you know, I was saying, like when. When you're looking for young boys. When you're grooming.
Brady
Grooming.
Dale
If you're looking for Your young boys for the future. For future use. You look for smooth, prepubescent athletes with small feet.
Larry McFeely
Wow. Wow.
Dale
So if Dale's out at your junior high, just know he was.
Larry McFeely
You see me walking along sidelines. Look out.
Dale
He wants a boy. It looks like he's just been nared from head to toe with little tiny feet who can run like the wind.
Brady
You got potential.
Larry McFeely
I won't even look at him.
Dale
All right, let's talk about football for a second because you're Dallas Cowboys and we're getting close to the draft.
Larry McFeely
Yes.
Dale
This is an interesting time. And I love that NFL football is. It's all year now. Like there's.
Larry McFeely
They do. They hog it all up.
Dale
Incredible. And they've done a great job of marketing. And I want to get a. Oh, we gotta. Okay, I'll ask you this. We gotta take a break first.
Larry McFeely
He storms in here like he's gonna. He's gotta take your head off.
Dale
Trouble. Yeah. So we'll do a. We'll talk football next with Dale because this is important.
Larry McFeely
Who's worse right now? The Steelers.
Dale
Cowboys. It's I think the Steelers right now. Steelers. Browns. People forget because they're so used to them sucking.
Larry McFeely
Right.
Dale
Browns have put themselves in a mess, too. Kenny Pickett is their only quarterback right now. We'll get into this in a second. Football. Yeah.
Larry McFeely
You.
Dale
You don't start that. It's 98K.
Larry McFeely
You can.
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Dick Toledo
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Dale
53342 Holmberg's Morning Sickness. You ogre.
Larry McFeely
Oh Lord.
Dale
Dale, rate that song.
Larry McFeely
How I seriously, that makes you want to go out and beat people up.
Dale
Yeah. No it doesn't.
Larry McFeely
Yes it does.
Dale
It's quality energy. It's a. It's a steam valve release to go. I had a little pent up energy and I feel great now.
Larry McFeely
No, it's. Let's go, let's go. Kia.
Dale
You don't want to key Teslas for that. Those lunatics are a real gem. Yeah. Here. This makes me want to beat people.
Larry McFeely
This makes you want to grab a good looking country girl. She said country girl, right?
Dale
That sounded terrible. All right, let's talk football. Dale Hellstrace here brought you by friends at prestige billiards AZ.com and we're talking football because the Cardinals seem to have become a steady quality organization that kind of does stuff right. And figuring out how to handle this and free agency. What used to be kind of a joke of what they're going to do.
Larry McFeely
Right.
Dale
Monty Austin Fort and the whole crew. Seems like they've put this, this thing on a track. Maybe not the best team. They still have a Kyler decision to make. That wasn't their job. But you watch that and you think this is. They've, they've grown up.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Dale
They've got to go to. And then I'm looking at my Steelers who are always the like the, you know, the light on top of the hill that all franchises look to steady ownership and the way they handle things and this Aaron Rodgers thing just won't stop. And it's the ant. This is what the Cardinals used to do is just sit and fawn over some washed player.
Larry McFeely
Yes.
Dale
And try to get Emmett Smith after.
Larry McFeely
He's run for 18 and he's only.
Dale
Here to pad stats. It's like, oh, we've got Emmett that's selling jerseys and what. That's what bad franchises do. And I feel like my team's doing that. Although I think Aaron has still got a some play left in him on a good team. I just don't know if that's worth.
Larry McFeely
Well, I don't know with Pittsburgh because you have questions offensive line wise.
Dale
A Little bit.
Larry McFeely
And obviously George Pickens is a talented.
Dale
Receiver, but they all are. But look, they said that about Michael Irvin, too. Every receiver that's worth his weight has some ego. Larry Fitzgerald.
Larry McFeely
No. There's difference between ego and being problematic.
Dale
He's not problem. The media's problem.
Larry McFeely
Every receiver that does anything in Pittsburgh is problematic.
Dale
And they're all great. I'll take it all day.
Larry McFeely
You'll take Antonio Brown in his prime. Yeah.
Dale
Put that guy on my team every.
Larry McFeely
Time for about three years.
Dale
Yeah. And then get him out, knowing what I know. Don't pay him. But then your Dallas Cowboys are going through a similar thing because Dak is there and they're not sure what to do with that. Do they draft a quarterback? Do they bring someone else in? And then you got Micah Parsons on the other side. Talk about problematic. He's running his mouth about how to run the organization and he's just a linebacker.
Larry McFeely
Well, I mean, how do you sit down and talk about making him the highest paid non quarterback in the league? Oh, and by the way, I don't even know the agent's name.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
How freaking stupid is that?
Dale
And Jerry goes on TV with this. Yes. Yeah.
Larry McFeely
And I think part of its plan, like, he knows that that's gonna be talking points all around the country.
Dale
Talking Cowboys.
Larry McFeely
Yeah, Talking the Cowboys. And I've told you from day one.
Dale
That'S all he cares.
Larry McFeely
The fact that he doesn't care if you talk good about him or bad about him, as long as you talk about the Cowboys.
Dale
I think Aaron Rodgers is the same. I think Aaron Rodgers is like, I'm manipulating the media.
Larry McFeely
Right.
Dale
To talk about Aaron Rodgers. I think he's going to announce that he's a steeler at Pat McAfee's event this weekend. It's big night at. It's the big night out. He's doing the thing. It was a Pittsburgh accent.
Larry McFeely
Oh, okay.
Dale
Huge party in Pittsburgh. He's from there. And Aaron Rodgers on the show a lot. And I'm like, I have a feeling they made an agreement with the Steelers. And everybody else say, look, let me do this and blow this thing up for Pat.
Larry McFeely
Because you can't tell me that Mike Tollen is comfortable going into the season.
Dale
Skyler Thompson.
Larry McFeely
Yes, Skyler.
Dale
Skyler is the name of a guy your cousin brings to Thanksgiving to make the announcement. Skyler is the one who's like, hey, hey, my cousin Dennis is here. How you doing, Dennis? Who's this? Oh, it's my friend Skyler. Who's Skyler I'll tell you at dinner. And then. And then everybody knows who. Skyler's. Skyler is not a name.
Larry McFeely
Or Skyler's a pretty blonde with blue eyes.
Dale
Or a beautiful woman. Yes, Or a beautiful woman, man.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Dale
Skyler's not a guy who. Like, I'm putting all my weight in football behind Skyler.
Larry McFeely
Right. No. I don't know the Cowboys. I don't know if they know their head from their ass.
Dale
Isn't it great? Are you happy?
Larry McFeely
I don't. Well, again, when I see Stephen Jones go, people talk about our super bowl drought.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
It was quotation mark. 30 years. Yeah, it's been 30 years.
Dale
It's a famine. It's not a drought.
Larry McFeely
Oh. It's like, are you kidding me?
Dale
So I hope that they don't do it, but you got to give the Cardinals a tip of the cast. They bid well. Staying out of things, it seems like. And yes.
Larry McFeely
And you got it. You got to love Jonathan Gann and Monty Osborne. The one thing that I appreciate that they do, they go after guys who like to play football.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
Yeah. And a lot of the nonsense is not on this team.
Dale
It's gone.
Larry McFeely
Yes.
Brady
Are they looking for a lot of leadership by Brian Kalis?
Dale
Yeah, he's a great signing.
Larry McFeely
He's a Great signing. He's $5 million and he can still bring it. It.
Dale
Third down guy.
Larry McFeely
Yes. You. You play him 40% of the snaps. Six, eight.
Dale
Yeah. And maybe even a first and second down guy. And pull him on thirds and bring in some horses for that. I think the guy's a run stuffer because he's just gigantic. Great. Great. Get right there. And no risk. 5 million bucks if it doesn't work.
Larry McFeely
Right.
Dale
So what? Let's talk Sons basketball while you're here. Sports. Yeah. My theory and my belief is everyone from towel boy to bartenders at the Dos Equis. You met Sherry with me up there at Dose Equis.
Larry McFeely
He's gotta go.
Dale
All of them. I don't want one familiar face in that arena. The Rah Rah room gets repainted, renamed, and becomes a gay club. Anything but. What's going on now is I want everybody who walks back into that building to look like it's all new.
Larry McFeely
Well, what about Fat Rosie or whatever?
Dale
There's no Fat Rose.
Larry McFeely
Oh, what's her name?
Dale
Could you say maybe some entertainment? All right, we'll talk about that later, because that is funny. But, yeah, we've. We've nicknamed a few of the patrons, and it's hilarious. You're not supposed to bring Fat Rosie up because Rosie will find out that's her nickname. Come on, man. Either way. See, I can't take you anywhere, cuz. Look, there's Fat Rosie. I'll never not say it out loud. He's. Have some decor.
Larry McFeely
Well, you say things.
Dale
Yeah, but I don't do it to hurt people's feelings.
Larry McFeely
She is.
Dale
Well, she's driving around right now named Rosie, and she knows she's got a weight problem. She just didn't know we called her that son of a bitch. Any hoot. But I'm. My point being, I want them to go to their practice facility and see a new guy at the front desk. I want them to go into their locker room and see an old different. This whole thing has got to go.
Larry McFeely
And it's going to cost a lot of money.
Dale
Good.
Larry McFeely
And he does have money. But, John, I literally went against Milwaukee. Yeah. I didn't turn it on. I didn't turn the game on. I. Because the previous game they lost by.
Dale
What, 40, 39 points at home.
Larry McFeely
Yeah. To Houston. And it's like, well, if you're not even gonna try.
Dale
Yeah. I mean, I said, I've gone to my last son's game of the year. I'm not gonna watch another minute on tv. And then my buddy Jordan text me. I made a big proclamation yesterday. I'm never gonna. I'm not another thing. And my buddy Jordan text me yesterday and said, hey, you sent me tickets to the Oklahoma City game. We. We were supposed to go to that together for, like, months. I'm like, oh, all right, I'll go to that. And then that's it.
Larry McFeely
You're going to be at every.
Dale
No, I'm not. I'm not. That'll be it. There's only three left. And I'm not going to the next one for sure. And then Oklahoma City, I'll go to that.
Larry McFeely
Okay.
Dale
Because Jordan and I are going to go.
Larry McFeely
And Oklahoma City would be in by.
Dale
39, and Oklahoma City will play all their scrubs. So, yeah, I want that gone. That's over. I'm rooting against them.
Larry McFeely
You've tried the new coach. You went from one championship coach to another championship coach. And. And so the same results, if not worse this year.
Dale
So much worse.
Larry McFeely
But last year was miserable.
Dale
They won more games last year than they did the year before.
Larry McFeely
Right. But yet it was not fun to watch them.
Dale
Nothing at all.
Larry McFeely
And so I'm trade Durant. Trade Booker. Hey, Build around Gillespie.
Dale
Do you realize? Build around Gillespie. Do you realize Dale, that I should have been the GM of this team two years ago, because everybody's coming around to my way of thinking now.
Larry McFeely
What was your trade?
Dale
Trade Booker.
Larry McFeely
Two years ago, you probably could have.
Dale
Gotten a lot more 10 players for him.
Larry McFeely
But you still, at that point, you still thought you had a chance.
Dale
Not when you had to change coaches and you had to do all this stuff with Kevin Durant's deal and you needed a point guard. It was a mess. Two years ago, they piecemealed together exactly what happened. And we all got a little hopeful, like, maybe this will work. And then when it didn't, you're like, I knew it. We all knew this. We should have, have, should have. You cut bait early. But they won't.
Larry McFeely
They won't. And it will be fascinating to see because I think that I don't understand how pro franchise will allow public pressure to dictate what you do. And the public is going to put a lot of pressure on them to keep Devin.
Dale
Nope. Get it out. You don't win championships on emotion.
Larry McFeely
I'm 100% with you.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
And. But my guess is that they go ahead and make that mistake and keep him. It would be my guess.
Dale
I. I'll lean more that way. Putting money on it.
Larry McFeely
That's not what I would say to do, but I guess that's what.
Dale
Can't win with that.
Larry McFeely
No.
Dale
They're no closer.
Larry McFeely
What do you do? You go get another coach and then.
Dale
In two years he's going to demand a trade because they're going nowhere. And he's coming to the end of his, like, times like, I better get out of here. So just do it while you can. Let's talk Diamondbacks baseball. Well, we got a lot of sports going on.
Larry McFeely
Yes.
Dale
And the Final Four also, by the way. I got all four teams. Right, Right.
Larry McFeely
Well, what you do. AI just picked a. I picked all.
Dale
Of them all the way through. I'm in fourth place in my poll, and if Auburn wins, I win the whole thing. I've never won an NCAA bracket.
Larry McFeely
Really?
Dale
Never. And I. This year, I didn't pick one game. I just picked the final score. AI picked all of it for me.
Larry McFeely
Okay.
Dale
And I'm probably going to win.
Larry McFeely
Auburn's not going to win.
Dale
Auburn's going to win. Duke is not going to win. Auburn's going to win. And the guys in front of me all have Duke.
Larry McFeely
Yeah.
Dale
So I have Auburn. Yeah.
Larry McFeely
I think Auburn loses.
Dale
Incorrect.
Larry McFeely
They are playing according to Houston. Right.
Dale
According to artificial intelligence.
Larry McFeely
No, no, no, no, no.
Dale
You're playing the other one.
Larry McFeely
Yeah. Who's the fourth one?
Dale
I just blanked it.
Larry McFeely
Duke, Houston. Auburn.
Dale
Jesus Christ.
Larry McFeely
Come on.
Dale
You're the sports guy. You're supposed to bring some stuff.
Larry McFeely
I'm sitting here. Your dumbness is watching over me. You're talking about Brady for who's the fourth.
Dale
No, it doesn't matter. It's. Auburn is gonna play.
Larry McFeely
No, Duke.
Dale
Duke, Houston, Florida, Florida.
Larry McFeely
Oh, no. Florida's gonna be Auburn.
Dale
You didn't even. Oh, you're gonna say that you didn't even know they were in the final four.
Larry McFeely
Lunch.
Dale
Whole talks. I'll bet you whole talks. What the hell, It's Botox for your B hole. Oh yeah, I'll bet you right now. Whole talks on the air next Thursday.
Larry McFeely
You guys are so immature. People as many insisted that you get.
Dale
Whole tox is everyone's insisted I get whole talks. Every doctor I've ever had you need whole talks. I didn't even know what it was. But I've been told by several people whole talks is in my future.
Larry McFeely
No. How about. How about a lunch at a nice place?
Dale
Do I have to be there or just buy it for you?
Larry McFeely
No, just buy it.
Dale
Okay, I don't watch. I'll send the credit card number.
Larry McFeely
You.
Dale
You have to eat alone. But I'll buy.
Larry McFeely
No, I'll bring Brady.
Dale
No, no, I'm not buying him anything. I'm just send you. I'll send in order to get your coupon. I'll get my window fixed. Get a dinner at Rhodesio Grill and I'll send that over your direction. How about the Diamondbacks though? That's fun team to watch.
Larry McFeely
I am so excited.
Dale
Torpedo bets illegal. Not illegal.
Larry McFeely
I mean legal.
Dale
Yeah, but.
Larry McFeely
No, I know.
Dale
You think they're going to change it?
Larry McFeely
Well, as soon as the Yankees stop hitting home runs.
Brady
Well, they have.
Dale
The Diamondbacks beat him two days in a row. Yes, but Diamondbacks Zach gallon struck out 13 guys yesterday.
Larry McFeely
It's the same thing I always said about steroids. Oh, here we go. No again. Steroids make you stronger.
Dale
Yep.
Larry McFeely
They help you recover quicker. But you still gotta put the bat on the ball.
Dale
Hank Aaron had the best counter to that of all time though.
Larry McFeely
What's that?
Dale
Especially in baseball with steroids. Maybe not football. Football too though. Is that for a pitcher especially the grind of August, September. He can't do what he used to do. And if he's recovered or feeling 100% in September, that's rough. And his Hank's big deal was 20 home runs a month. Like he's like, if I. You know, that's that it wasn't hitting it. But he's like, I want to just get to that number.
Larry McFeely
Right?
Dale
You're not touching that in September. He said, but these guys knocking 16, 15 out in September. And he goes, you're so tired. Your recovery, that's a million pounds. And he goes, but if your recovery and you feel. Because steroids do make you feel better is that you're going out there in September and feeling just like you did in April, it kills the whole point of baseball.
Larry McFeely
Everything in baseball goes through. There used to be greenies who. You know, you take greenies, and those would give you energy and all that late in the season and. But what my point was, you still got to put the bat on the ball, right?
Dale
I mean, it's a lot easier to do when you can swing the bat faster.
Larry McFeely
No, you still gotta have a hand eye coordination. You can swing fast as a strike.
Dale
They all do. Triple a guy hits 18 home runs. If he can put five more on, he goes, so a couple of those fly balls. He's got hand eye coordination. Couple of those fly balls, go six more feet. Suddenly, this guy's making $12 million more than he was.
Larry McFeely
I don't know how the minor leaguers don't.
Dale
I would do it in a second if you'd have given me steroids when I was 17 and said. Said, you're close. Yeah, take a chance.
Larry McFeely
You're in double A. And you. You and I are roommates or whatever, and I come back the next off season, and. And I'm noticeably different.
Dale
Yeah.
Larry McFeely
And all of a sudden, I'm hitting eight more home runs, and you're looking at me going, yeah, you're going to.
Dale
Tennessee, and I'm staying down here in Myrtle Beach. All right, more time. All right, Freddie. I got it. Did you just say that, or did he. Oh, I thought somebody's like, yep, Freddy's calling a shot. I thought that was you, Sam, over your shoulder. All right, we got to take another break. Dale, I don't know what it is you do. Yeah, we're.
Larry McFeely
Why does everybody want to advertise during my segment?
Dale
No, we're just getting it out of the way. This is the best time. We didn't play any commercials until now. We knew what to do. Hella stray gets the entertainment drill with Brady.
Larry McFeely
Next, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
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Dick Toledo
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Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae Release Date: April 3, 2025
In this engaging episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg welcomes former Dallas Cowboy Offensive Lineman Dale Hellestrae. Joined by co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and regular contributor Dick Toledo, the trio delves into a wide array of topics ranging from sports insights to personal anecdotes, all infused with their signature humor and candid banter.
The episode kicks off with Dale Hellestrae joining the show, bringing his professional sports background and unique perspectives to the conversation.
A significant portion of the episode revolves around a humorous segment where Dale introduces a "Speculum Video." This segment sparks a lively debate among the hosts about maturity and artistic expression.
The hosts humorously critique the video, which features unconventional sounds turned into art, leading to playful exchanges about what constitutes maturity in art and entertainment.
This lighthearted discussion underscores the hosts' ability to find humor in unexpected places while touching upon deeper themes of creativity and expression.
Dale shares his recent experience at an LPGA event, prompting a discussion about the event's entertainment aspects beyond the sport itself.
The conversation shifts to the commercialization of sports events, particularly focusing on the emphasis on high-end liquor over the athletic competition.
This segment critically examines how certain aspects of sports events can overshadow the actual athletic performances.
The hosts delve into personal histories, sharing stories about surgeries, school experiences, and physical development during adolescence.
They reminisce about mandatory scoliosis tests and other school routines, highlighting the awkwardness and invasiveness of such practices.
This nostalgic segment adds a personal touch, fostering a connection between the hosts and the listeners through shared experiences.
Larry shares anecdotes about his grandson's participation in flag football, leading to a humorous discussion about young athletes and their developing skills.
The conversation highlights the challenges and humor inherent in coaching and supporting young children in sports, emphasizing the importance of early athletic development.
A substantial part of the episode is dedicated to analyzing various NFL teams, including the Steelers, Cowboys, and Cardinals. The hosts discuss team performances, management decisions, player dynamics, and prospects for the upcoming draft.
The debate touches on leadership issues, player trades, and the impact of high-profile players on team success.
They express concerns about team management and the influence of media on player performance and public perception.
Transitioning to baseball, the hosts discuss the Diamondbacks' performance and broader issues surrounding steroid use in sports.
The conversation critiques the reliance on performance-enhancing substances, debating their impact on the integrity of the sport and athlete performance.
Towards the end of the episode, the hosts engage in a lighthearted discussion about NCAA Final Four predictions, showcasing their competitive spirits and differing opinions.
This segment adds a fun and interactive element to the show, allowing listeners to connect through shared interests in college basketball.
As the episode nears its end, the hosts tease upcoming topics and continue their trademark banter, leaving listeners anticipating future episodes.
The playful exchanges highlight the camaraderie among the hosts and their ability to maintain an entertaining atmosphere throughout diverse discussions.
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion: This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers listeners a blend of insightful sports analysis, humorous personal stories, and spirited debates. Former Dallas Cowboy Dale Hellestrae's participation enriches the conversation, providing a unique perspective that complements the dynamic interplay among the hosts. Whether discussing the nuances of NFL team management, the challenges of coaching young athletes, or the impact of steroids in baseball, the episode delivers a comprehensive and entertaining experience for fans of sports and lively radio discussions.