04-04-25 - Jason Cheny - Tempe Improv - In Studio w/Opener Will Pepper

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (04-04-25)

Podcast Information:

• Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
• Host/Author: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
• Description: Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD is Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show. John Holmberg entertains, questions, and disturbs listeners with assistance from Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. Tune in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM.

Episode Details:

• Guest: Jason Cheney
• Location: Tempe Improv
• Opener: Will Pepper
• Release Date: April 4, 2025

---

1. Welcome and Introduction [01:10 - 02:04]

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg welcoming Jason Cheney to the show. Jason is introduced as a 24-year-old comedian who previously opened for Bobby Lee a year ago. His opener for the night is Will Pepper, who serves as his "support animal."

• John Holmberg: "We're happy to welcome for the very first time on this show, 24 year old show. About as old as the both of you, Jason Cheney, correct?"
• Jason Cheney: "Yes sir. Thank you very much."

2. Background and Personal History [02:04 - 04:04]

Jason shares his background, revealing that he moved from Taiwan to San Diego at the age of 14 and later relocated to Los Angeles seven years prior. The conversation takes a humorous turn as they discuss Jason’s origins and his family's motivations for moving to the United States.

• John Holmberg: "And you moved here, your family moved here from Taiwan when you were, like, 14."
• Jason Cheney: "Because they wanted a better future for, you know, they wanted a better future everybody."

3. Family Dynamics and Cultural Anecdotes [04:04 - 10:37]

The discussion delves into Jason’s family life, particularly focusing on his father's clothing manufacturing business and his mother's role in the family. They humorously explore cultural stereotypes and the dynamics within Jason's family.

• Jason Cheney: "He is a good father. If bad father was a good father."
• John Holmberg: "He's the worst good father."

4. Cultural Stereotypes and Humor [10:37 - 17:33]

Jason and John engage in a playful debate about cultural practices, such as handling food and the myth of "flame-resistant" Asian hands. The conversation is laced with humor, touching on stereotypes related to Asian cultures and their culinary practices.

• Jason Cheney: "Only Asian women. Their hands are more resistant. It's in the genetic codes."
• John Holmberg: "You can’t burn an Asian's hands."

5. Relationships and Personal Insights [17:33 - 21:15]

The dialogue shifts to personal relationships, where Jason discusses his marriage and interactions with his wife. The conversation becomes more personal and humorous as they navigate topics like interracial relationships and personal flaws.

• Jason Cheney: "I have a black wife."
• John Holmberg: "Is she okay? Are you sure?"

6. Political Views and Social Commentary [21:15 - 25:43]

Jason opens up about his political stance, revealing his choice not to vote and his feelings towards certain political figures and regions. The conversation touches on sensitive topics, blending humor with social commentary.

• Jason Cheney: "I didn't like anybody. Write yourself in. You have some good ideas."
• John Holmberg: "I think not voting is a vote."

7. Final Thoughts and Words of Wisdom [25:43 - 29:16]

As the episode nears its conclusion, John asks Jason to leave the audience with words of wisdom. Jason shares a brief, philosophical statement about mornings and evenings, encapsulating the show's blend of humor and insight.

• Jason Cheney: "If you wake up in the morning, you will have a bright morning. But if you sleep at nighttime, it's dark."
• John Holmberg: "Like Confucius walked in the room. That was amazing."

8. Conclusion and Closing Remarks [29:16 - End]

John wraps up the episode by promoting Jason's upcoming performances at the Tempe Improv and highlighting community initiatives like the "Pick of the Litter" for pet rescue. The episode concludes with ads and acknowledgments to sponsors.

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Notable Quotes:

• [02:18] John Holmberg: "That is National Tell A Lie Day."
• [07:10] Will Pepper: "Cambodians are by far the best donut makers."
• [21:38] Jason Cheney: "They're like, right, so. Right."
• [25:14] Jason Cheney: "If you wake up in the morning, you will have a bright morning. But if you sleep at nighttime, it's dark."

---

Key Highlights:

• Cultural Humor: The episode extensively uses cultural stereotypes for comedic effect, particularly focusing on Asian culinary practices and family dynamics.

• Personal Stories: Jason shares personal anecdotes about his upbringing, family, and relationships, providing listeners with a blend of humor and heartfelt moments.

• Social Commentary: The conversation touches on political views and social issues, adding depth to the comedic interactions.

• Engaging Banter: The interplay between John, Jason, and Will is filled with witty exchanges and playful teasing, keeping the audience entertained throughout.

Conclusion: This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a mix of humor, personal storytelling, and light social commentary. Jason Cheney's interactions with John Holmberg and Will Pepper create an engaging and entertaining experience for listeners, whether they're tuning in live or catching up later.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

You thought that was funny?

[Jason Cheney]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? We're happy to welcome for the very first time on this show, 24 year old show. About as old as the both of you, Jason Cheney, correct?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes sir. Thank you very much.

[John Holmberg]

And Will Pepper, Jason is at the 10pm Proven he brought Will along as his support animal. Right? Your emotional support.

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jason Cheney]

You pet him quite often and he pets me.

[John Holmberg]

Jason's here tonight and tomorrow 10pm prov.com we'll get into that in a second. Jason chenny.com if you want to go. Welcome. You said you were here before with Bobby Lee?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes sir. I opened for him about a year ago.

[John Holmberg]

And you are originally from Taiwan?

[Jason Cheney]

You say I'm originally from Taiwan?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

You have a beautiful face.

[John Holmberg]

Now you're just pandering at this point. Jason, stop it. It is not a beautiful face.

[Jason Cheney]

It's the truth.

[John Holmberg]

It is not the truth. But I appreciate the lies. I appreciate the kindness. Will, set him straight. This is not a beautiful face.

[Will Pepper]

That's a really nice nose.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. See now Will is on it. That Was what I expected more of. You also have a beautiful face.

[Unknown]

It is National Tell A Lie Day.

[John Holmberg]

That is true. That is true. And you moved here, your family moved here from Taiwan when you were, like, 14.

[Jason Cheney]

14. And I moved to LA, like, seven years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So how old are you?

[Jason Cheney]

I'm 75.

[John Holmberg]

70.

[Jason Cheney]

A lot of lotion lubed up.

[John Holmberg]

You look fantastic head to toe. Now, why did your family move to San Diego?

[Jason Cheney]

Because they wanted a better future for, you know, they wanted a better future everybody. For everybody.

[John Holmberg]

And what was. What was the future looking like without San Diego?

[Jason Cheney]

It was bad.

[John Holmberg]

Was it really bleak? No kidding. Because it does. I don't think of Taiwan is like bleak. I mean, it's got some.

[Jason Cheney]

I was bleak.

[John Holmberg]

You were the reason. Your future was not like, there's no future.

[Unknown]

You're heading down a wrong path.

[Jason Cheney]

I was. It doesn't matter where I was. I wasn't gonna do well.

[John Holmberg]

But did they just throw a dart and say San Diego or.

[Jason Cheney]

Oh. Oh, no. That's a great question. I think it was just. We have one cousin that was there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. And they just come rapping on his door.

[Jason Cheney]

You know what? I lied. I don't know if I have a cousin in San Diego. I don't know why I lied like that. I was under a lot of pressure. Because you have extreme eye contact. You were so focus. You stare at me. I was listening to my soul.

[John Holmberg]

It's called listening.

[Jason Cheney]

I love you.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. I love you too. Jason. We're developing a relation. I'll look over here when I ask questions so you don't feel so much pressure. No. So, like, I just.

[Jason Cheney]

My father never really looked at me in the eyes.

[John Holmberg]

He never stared at you? I always had to turn the other.

[Jason Cheney]

Way when you did. I felt uncomfortable.

[Unknown]

I've done something wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Do I remind you of your father in some strange way?

[Jason Cheney]

No. You can't be of my father. If he was a good father because.

[John Holmberg]

He cares and he looks at you. Is your dad.

[Unknown]

He never asked a question, Dad.

[John Holmberg]

A good father.

[Jason Cheney]

He is a good father. If bad father was a good father.

[John Holmberg]

He'S the best at being a bad father. Or he's just the. He's the worst good father.

[Jason Cheney]

He's the father that did his best. If. What? If that's what best meant.

[John Holmberg]

And what makes you say that? Like, what makes you say dad? That could have been better, but this is the best he could do. And now I'll look away.

[Jason Cheney]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, that's how I do it. Like behind the card. Yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

You just.

[John Holmberg]

He was a good dad.

[Jason Cheney]

He was a good dad.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you say it.

[Jason Cheney]

I lied.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. See? And I don't know what to believe anymore. Well, did you ever go. You grew up here?

[Will Pepper]

Yeah. My dad owned a nail salon out in Lavine.

[John Holmberg]

What? What's that? Shocking.

[Jason Cheney]

Come on.

[Will Pepper]

I wouldn't say the name, but he sold it. And I'm not trying to give them free customers, okay?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you don't like the people who bought his nail salon?

[Will Pepper]

Shout out to LV Baseball man Lavine.

[John Holmberg]

LV Day Spa in lavine. And your dad had that.

[Will Pepper]

Yeah. And he was doing a lot of.

[John Holmberg]

Drugs, your dad was doing.

[Will Pepper]

Because you have to be high to do nails. It's so boring.

[John Holmberg]

I agree.

[Will Pepper]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's white women's desire.

[Unknown]

My wife does.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but. But at the salons, I think it's white women's desire to feel like they have servants, to have someone wash their feet.

[Jason Cheney]

You can cut your own toenails, but not everybody. They want Vietnamese specifically.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. They want some. They want a foreign element to wash their feet because it makes them feel. I'm not kidding. I'm white. I know this stuff. Trust me. Ask a white guy. I know this stuff. You talk to a white woman, it's like you could wash your own feet. And they can go to a white woman. They don't. They like to go to somebody with an accent to make them feel like they like some sort of weird human ownership special treatment.

[Jason Cheney]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

I totally believe that's mental in a white woman.

[Jason Cheney]

I feel the same way when I go to, like, a. Like a soul food restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you do. White women like to feel.

[Jason Cheney]

No, I wanna. I want a Vietnamese person.

[John Holmberg]

You do?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Jason Cheney]

I want them to dip their hands in there when they fry the things.

[John Holmberg]

You want a Vietnamese soul food restaurant?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Jason Cheney]

And when they dip the chicken inside the fryer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

I want their hands in there because I feel like the culture bleeds into the thing.

[John Holmberg]

You want them to harm themselves for flavor.

[Jason Cheney]

Just for flavor. It makes me feel at home. Cause that's what my grandma did.

[John Holmberg]

She did soul food.

[Jason Cheney]

She did food when she fried stuff. Her hands are in there. And she will always say, I washed my hands. I was like, no, you didn't.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought you were saying, she's not putting them in the fryer a.

[Jason Cheney]

Little bit because you know how, like, older. Well, maybe this is not true for white culture, but for Asian culture, when we fried stuff, we put our whole hands in a pan in the fryer in the fryer.

[John Holmberg]

You burn your hands up.

[Unknown]

I've seen the.

[Jason Cheney]

Nobody's not an Asian. Not in. Not in Asia. Sorry. Not in Asian. It's not one person.

[John Holmberg]

It is. It is. That's what we think of when we think of it. It was just that one guy. It's you. Thanks for coming over here, Asia.

[Jason Cheney]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm just going to call you from now on. So I'm confused by this. Like, I understand handling the food.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah. When they're handling the food, their hands is like very resistant to oil. This is in the genetics.

[Unknown]

They like callous opulence.

[John Holmberg]

You can't burn an Asian's hands.

[Jason Cheney]

You could, but not when it's oil. Not as much as the whites.

[John Holmberg]

I want to challenge you. I believe it hurt just as much as me. Get a frying pan.

[Jason Cheney]

This is science. This is science. But only Asian women. Their hands are more resistant. It's in the genetic codes.

[John Holmberg]

It is. I don't believe you. I feel that that's true.

[Unknown]

They're naturally born with fry hands.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, that's right. So your hands can. Woman from Asia's all Asian countries.

[Jason Cheney]

No. Only. Well, there's three.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Jason Cheney]

Vietnam, Taiwan and Korea.

[John Holmberg]

Flame resistant hand.

[Jason Cheney]

But China, if you put the hands in there, gone immediately.

[John Holmberg]

And they just disappear.

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

But you're saying Vietnamese women have asbestos hands.

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you would know.

[Jason Cheney]

I didn't. I do know.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to take your words.

[Jason Cheney]

I've got a lot of massage parlors. Hello. Can we say that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. A rub and tug. You can call it whatever you want. You go crazy. Jason. Jason Cheney is at the Tempe Improv with Will Pepper, who is from Goodyear. And sadly, Brady made fun of your dad having a nail salon, which is. Do you find that to be offensive? Because you can hit Brady if you'd like. I'd like to see that.

[Will Pepper]

Can I hit you?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just because when you laugh at somebody Asian who says, my dad owes a nail salon, which we usually do, but we wait till you leave.

[Will Pepper]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

That's fine. That's usually when.

[Will Pepper]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Let me leave early.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Jason, when you came here, were you always wanting to be a comedian as a kid, were you like, I was into it. Because that's a tough transition when you're funny. And so you're funny in Taiwan.

[Jason Cheney]

Right, Right.

[John Holmberg]

And then you move to San Diego, you're not gonna be funny.

[Jason Cheney]

I don't think so. I was depressed.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Jason Cheney]

Not to be vulnerable in the morning.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No.

[Jason Cheney]

I like that I was depressed.

[John Holmberg]

Lay down next to me. Let's talk.

[Jason Cheney]

I want to. I want to get closer to the face. How can I get closer to your face?

[John Holmberg]

Gravity will do its thing. Don't worry. Once you get close, it sucks it in. But, yeah. So when you come, you get. Culturally, you're just not really.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah, culturally, not really doing the things. But I think I just wanted to, because I just wanted to say stuff that people will hear me. Because, again, my father wasn't listening.

[John Holmberg]

No one was listening. So now when people listen. That's enough.

[Jason Cheney]

I force them.

[John Holmberg]

You make them pay.

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They pay you to listen to you.

[Jason Cheney]

To listen to me.

[John Holmberg]

That's a thing.

[Jason Cheney]

And I get really excited, and I'm really grateful for them. And I touch them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you touch the audience at the end. So it is like a rub and.

[Jason Cheney]

Tug in the shoulder.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So you'll get.

[Jason Cheney]

And then in the private.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I'm paying for. Well, you heard it here. Jason Cheney at the Tempe Improv and Happy endings are available for everybody. Are your parents happy with the career choices that you've made?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes, they celebrate every day. They jump for joy.

[Unknown]

His dad still hasn't heard.

[John Holmberg]

What does your dad do?

[Jason Cheney]

My dad is a manufacturer for clothing. He makes clothes.

[John Holmberg]

He makes clothes?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes. He hires people. Underage sweat shops. Yeah, but don't say that.

[John Holmberg]

Different name for it. It's called. What was it? LV Spa. I think they call it that in the back rooms of that place. That's how you met. Exactly. Yeah. Because he really just makes clothes.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No particular group. Just in the garage.

[Jason Cheney]

And in the garage. And my mom helps out, and my mom touches him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So the clothes are made.

[Jason Cheney]

There's a lot of clutching.

[John Holmberg]

So she puts the flavor in with her hands.

[Jason Cheney]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Is what you're saying. The flavor goes in the clothes? Yes, because your mom has resistant fireproof. You might be the weirdest person I've ever spoken to. I think that's true.

[Jason Cheney]

Is that good?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. I think it's a great thing.

[Jason Cheney]

Are you gonna kiss me?

[John Holmberg]

No. I might in a minute. As you're. You're married to a woman, I assume.

[Jason Cheney]

I am married to a woman.

[John Holmberg]

Is that something you regret every day?

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah, this is why I'm here.

[John Holmberg]

And then what's your wife like?

[Jason Cheney]

I think she might flame resistant. Flame resistant.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Jason Cheney]

And locked up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's in jail.

[Jason Cheney]

Or even prisoner.

[John Holmberg]

Even prisoners. Okay, we're gonna see. Does she have a job?

[Jason Cheney]

She's a kindergarten teacher.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Cheney]

That's horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Boring.

[Jason Cheney]

Sorry. I don't know what.

[Unknown]

You're napping right now.

[Jason Cheney]

They're taking a nap.

[John Holmberg]

You booed her.

[Jason Cheney]

I was doing improv. No, sorry.

[John Holmberg]

10Pm you booed the kindergarten teacher. Is it because you want her to make more money?

[Jason Cheney]

I booed her because it's like she's your wife. Why you, why you pay? Why you? Why are you here? I'm not a good person.

[John Holmberg]

Are you a good husband?

[Jason Cheney]

I tried to be, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What makes you good?

[Jason Cheney]

I said I try to be.

[John Holmberg]

You try. What makes you bad?

[Jason Cheney]

I said I tried to.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. You do it all.

[Jason Cheney]

I think I try to do my best.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

You know, I try to be a good person and I fail. And I, I, I embrace everybody's flaws, you know, I embrace.

[John Holmberg]

What are my flaws? Embrace my flaws.

[Jason Cheney]

Well, I don't want to be mean.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead. I'm. I can handle it. It's my nose, isn't it?

[Jason Cheney]

I think you're a really beautiful guy.

[John Holmberg]

That's a flaw.

[Jason Cheney]

But I think you have a terrible personality.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Jesus. Yeah, you didn't want to hu.

[Jason Cheney]

But I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to say that. But I embrace your flaws is what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

I appreciate that you've been so kind to me despite my incredibly abrasive and awful personality.

[Jason Cheney]

But you know what? Physically, you're really beautiful.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I appreciate. Well, maybe that's enough for you to get over how horrible a person I actually am.

[Unknown]

Flaws.

[John Holmberg]

What are Jason's flaws?

[Jason Cheney]

Be honest.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Will Pepper]

The only thing I can say is he's really impatient.

[Jason Cheney]

Oh, yeah, that's not true.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not getting.

[Jason Cheney]

That's not true. Don't you ever say that.

[John Holmberg]

What are Will's flaws? Jason, what do you embrace about Will?

[Will Pepper]

Don't be honest.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, tell me. Oh, there's something. There's something.

[Jason Cheney]

Well, Well's a really good guy. Very smart.

[John Holmberg]

Too much. Too toothy, I would guess.

[Jason Cheney]

Too, too toothy.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Jason Cheney]

A lot of teeth.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of teeth. There's too much teeth.

[Jason Cheney]

Always showing his teeth and always, always having food in his teeth.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he has food in there.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Does he have flaws that you're like, oh, you drive me nuts. Do you guys have that kind of relationship where you're buddies, where you can tell each other that?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes. Yes. We actually have a tattoo together.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

We have a matching tattoo.

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Jason Cheney]

It's a rocket.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

It's a rocket made of banana. It's a banana Rocket. It's on our side.

[John Holmberg]

I'm starting to think you might not be Asian and you just might be really high.

[Jason Cheney]

I'm retarded.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's always that. Oh, my God. Jason Cheney, you're a very strange man.

[Jason Cheney]

I love you, man.

[John Holmberg]

I love you back. This is awkward. 10pm Prov this weekend, Friday.

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[John Holmberg]

Tell me something about you that people should know. Something. Something that like, you know, this is. Sell some tickets to the show.

[Jason Cheney]

Can I. Can I tell you something?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Jason Cheney]

I really like to bond and connect with people.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Jason Cheney]

And I'm a really upset.

[John Holmberg]

Do it with him.

[Jason Cheney]

Brett. Yeah, Brett. Well, you can't just put me on the spot.

[John Holmberg]

You said you liked. If I said I like Brady, then. Look, hold on. If I said I like throwing a baseball and you had a baseball, I'd throw the baseball. You said I like bonding with people. I'm like there bond with him.

[Jason Cheney]

Yes, but this is the thing. When I came in here, Brett, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

See, I'm very good at bonding with people. I know people's names.

[John Holmberg]

You remembered his name. Yes, that's a connection.

[Jason Cheney]

Excuse Me? What?

[John Holmberg]

Dad.

[Jason Cheney]

Dad.

[Will Pepper]

Daddy.

[Jason Cheney]

Daddy.

[John Holmberg]

So bond with Brett.

[Jason Cheney]

I like to bond with Brett, but when I first came in here, he looked a little sleepy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's really.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

He's sleepy right now, and I didn't want it to bother Brett. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How dare you, by the way?

[Jason Cheney]

Why? To say that Brett's sleepy?

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm just saying. Oh, what a horrible thing to say about a man sleepy. He's crying. Wide awake. Yeah, please.

[Jason Cheney]

Brett looks like he just came back from. He's tan. He is not locked in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he is. Yeah, he's not. Not necessarily all in on it. Yeah, well, that's not bonding. You're pushing bread away. I'm kidding. This is how I don't feel bonded at all.

[Jason Cheney]

This is how my father bonds with me. This is the only way I know how. Yeah, because Brett dropped a highlight. Highlighter like, five minutes ago on the ground, and he hasn't picked it up.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Waiting for a woman to show up. What do you want me to do? I'm not gonna pick that up. We got ladies for that. What kind of man are you? It hit the ground. That's disgusting. Get one of those ladies with those impervious hands.

[Unknown]

On that thing.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't somebody gonna come in here and pick that up in a second? I mean, please. Brad'll do it. You pick stuff up around the house. No wonder your wife's in charge. This is crazy. Yeah. Brad makes a perfect highlighter.

[Unknown]

Hit the ground.

[John Holmberg]

Like, how long are you organized? Like that bothers you that there's. There's something on the floor?

[Jason Cheney]

I think maybe I have a little ocd. It doesn't bother me, but it just. I noticed that he didn't pick it up right. So I just chillin.

[Unknown]

That's why.

[John Holmberg]

Did he throw it at you?

[Jason Cheney]

He did not throw it at me.

[John Holmberg]

Is he threatened by bread at all?

[Jason Cheney]

A little bit. By his really calm demeanor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. As well. Yeah. You two can match that.

[Jason Cheney]

What?

[John Holmberg]

I think you two of you have the calm demeanor together. You have a very awkward demeanor.

[Jason Cheney]

That's not true. Don't ever say that. Don't say that now.

[John Holmberg]

We are bonding here. We're bonding. You're hard to bond with.

[Jason Cheney]

I'm trying to be very patient.

[John Holmberg]

Will blink if. If you need help. I'm not so sure you're not a hostage.

[Will Pepper]

Eyes are closed.

[John Holmberg]

Jason Cheney's at the Tempe Improv tonight and tomorrow. And you've been doing comedy for how long?

[Jason Cheney]

For 13 years.

[John Holmberg]

13 years?

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah. Sorry to interrupt you.

[John Holmberg]

Too late. Go Ahead.

[Jason Cheney]

I wanted to say that you're very sharp.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Jason Cheney]

And is it because it's the 23 years of practicing, Were you always like that?

[John Holmberg]

I've always been incredibly sharp.

[Jason Cheney]

Oh, how was. So. Really?

[John Holmberg]

No. I don't know.

[Jason Cheney]

It's just.

[John Holmberg]

It's just the same way.

[Jason Cheney]

You're like, where did it come from?

[John Holmberg]

Being smart?

[Unknown]

Self defense.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So. Yes, probably. So people couldn't.

[Jason Cheney]

Like, what was something that you. People made fun of you for?

[John Holmberg]

Well, constantly. My face.

[Jason Cheney]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

The first one. Yeah. Angles. And then, I don't know.

[Jason Cheney]

I was little, I was very like. Because when I come in here, you're really welcoming and you say the things like, hello. Yeah, hello.

[John Holmberg]

The greetings do you mean?

[Jason Cheney]

And then you change. Interview me and then will. And then this is a really good dynamic.

[John Holmberg]

Well, thank you.

[Jason Cheney]

And I feel welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we were chatty to talk to you. We were getting to know you. We. I like bonding with people, too.

[Jason Cheney]

You do? Yeah.

[Unknown]

Get to know you.

[John Holmberg]

But as a kid, I think it was like. It gets sharp with, like, my sister and I used to go back and forth all the time, and I enjoyed making her feel bad because we didn't get along great. So I got really good at, like, firing back. Back peppering her. Yeah. So it was fun. So. Yeah. And I just. I guess I always kind of had that. So. Yeah, I guess. Thank you for pointing out my sharpness.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah. Was your sister sharp also?

[John Holmberg]

No. Dull as a spoon. Dumb as a rock. See, it's still fun. Fun since I was 4. No. But, yeah. It's just a thing. So I don't mean to intimidate you with my incredible. Oh, no, I like incredible wit and speed.

[Jason Cheney]

I'm. I'm very.

[John Holmberg]

Hopefully you can keep up. That's what. That's all I hope for.

[Jason Cheney]

Can you not compliment?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, I wasn't. I was just. I was following up with. You said I was just A to B.

[Jason Cheney]

That's all.

[John Holmberg]

You listen to the person talking and then you follow up and I couldn't agree with you more.

[Jason Cheney]

I don't like the way you said it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay, well, I'm sorry. It doesn't matter.

[Jason Cheney]

Do it again.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, I'm not gonna do another thing. Not another thing. Jason, what about. Have you been back to Taiwan ever? Yeah, I don't know anything about Taiwan other than that it's about to get taken over.

[Jason Cheney]

I'm making a crying face.

[John Holmberg]

He just cry emoji. You just did a full cry emoji as a human being. Is it.

[Jason Cheney]

Is it something you think about sometimes? Like, I think about it like, you know, once every two months.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you do a 60 day thinking. Yeah, yeah. It's 60 days time to think about Taiwan. Is it something that bothers you? Like you got family there?

[Jason Cheney]

It's like, yeah, my whole family's there.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know the dynamic. What's the deal?

[Jason Cheney]

So China wanted to take back Taiwan. Yeah, but. But I think because it's a good military base for America.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

So that I don't think America would let it happen.

[John Holmberg]

But do you think they'll try still?

[Jason Cheney]

No, I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

It's just always just kind of a threat looming.

[Jason Cheney]

Threat looming. Because I feel like America, you know, has done the nuclear thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then we made your hands to where nobody could feel fire. Fire from generations on. From 45 on.

[Jason Cheney]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Trust me, you're gonna like fire.

[Jason Cheney]

They're like, right, so. Right.

[John Holmberg]

So there's still that. You think that that's still like they've thrown one before?

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah, I saw it exactly.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah. I think that work because of that. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Jason Cheney]

I think once in a while we should do it again.

[John Holmberg]

I think so too.

[Jason Cheney]

But not, not maybe like on the other side. Maybe like closer to. I'm closer to China.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe nuke China. Not so Japany.

[Jason Cheney]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

More China.

[Jason Cheney]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Let's scoot it over a little bit.

[Jason Cheney]

More between Russia and China.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. You would like to see nukes fly?

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah, that's your dream. I just wanted to see it. I don't want to see it land.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you just want to see him going over.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah, going over.

[John Holmberg]

Just the threat of news. A warning shot in the air.

[Jason Cheney]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

You sure you don't want to watch one fall? What about North Korea? That wouldn't be so bad.

[Jason Cheney]

I forgot about that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We could blow them up. If you were in charge of the world, what country would you blow up first or eradicate? Just get rid of altogether. Not the people, but just like all of it.

[Jason Cheney]

Vermont.

[John Holmberg]

Vermont is a good one to get rid of. Bernie Sanders pisses us all off, I think. Is there. Is there any place that you're like, oh, that you've been and you're like, man, I can't. This place has to go.

[Jason Cheney]

Probably. I can't say Africa.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, the whole continent. The whole entire thing.

[Jason Cheney]

The continent. It's too much.

[John Holmberg]

It's a lot.

[Jason Cheney]

But I mean, come on, it's a lot.

[John Holmberg]

There has to be a couple of good neighborhoods.

[Jason Cheney]

There's too many huts.

[John Holmberg]

If I say that, I'm probably gonna go to jail. But you're not wrong.

[Jason Cheney]

I apologize. I apologize. People who are in Africa listening.

[John Holmberg]

They're listening. The Africans listening. They're very upset at you right now.

[Jason Cheney]

Well, it's. It's really the huts.

[John Holmberg]

The huts bother you don't like. Well, there's a lot of huts in Asian countries, too.

[Jason Cheney]

That's not true.

[John Holmberg]

That is true.

[Jason Cheney]

You're making stuff up.

[John Holmberg]

No, you people love huts.

[Jason Cheney]

You people.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Jason Cheney]

This is getting crazy.

[John Holmberg]

I know you people are hot.

[Jason Cheney]

I feel a little uncomfortable.

[John Holmberg]

You're hot people. In fact, a lot of your restaurants end with the word hot. There's like Szechuan hot. And like, you guys still hot on everything. In fact, that's all I remember. Vietnam was hot.

[Jason Cheney]

We meant to say hot.

[John Holmberg]

Hot on everything. Pizza Hut. I'm not sure that's Asian, but what's the deal with the donuts? We found out last week that Asians own most.

[Jason Cheney]

Last week?

[John Holmberg]

Most of the donut shops are Asian.

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know that was till last week. Literally last week. Literally last Friday.

[Jason Cheney]

You are the mayor of the whites.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that makes me. Well, I don't pay attention who owns the donut shop. But I didn't know it was predominantly Asian.

[Jason Cheney]

Asians, Right.

[John Holmberg]

Did you know that That's a thing?

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah. I'm Asian.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I know, but I'm white. I don't know where all the Swedes are.

[Unknown]

You know, the fry hands help.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. You're deep frying a lot of stuff. That's it. Is there any one Asian country better at making donuts than another Cambodian? Are they good at it?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes, they're very good.

[John Holmberg]

That was a quick answer. I mean, no hesitation. Really?

[Jason Cheney]

That was true.

[John Holmberg]

Is that true?

[Jason Cheney]

That was true.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. That's why it flashed out. Will, do you agree with any of this racism that Jason is spewing?

[Will Pepper]

Cambodians are by far the best donut makers. Donut makers.

[Jason Cheney]

It's because of. Why? Tell them.

[Will Pepper]

Because this guy made donut shops and he had his family run other donut shops and they just. They just kept doing it, but then he lost it all through gambling.

[Unknown]

That's the guy in the tray, right? That was the documentary I was telling you about.

[Jason Cheney]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

There's a documentary about donuts? Yeah, of course. You saw. I didn't know about it. They watch for Asian entrepreneurial advice and you watch for donut advice.

[Unknown]

That guy had an empire.

[John Holmberg]

How about that? I didn't know any. I didn't know that there was a donut, like, part of documentaries. And so really. So he started. But donuts were around before that guy.

[Will Pepper]

Yeah, but he took it over.

[John Holmberg]

He took over the donut. Who was running donuts before? Asians.

[Jason Cheney]

The Jews. That's what I thought they were doing bagels. They're doing bagels first.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? You're not wrong.

[Jason Cheney]

I'm telling you, I'm a science guy.

[John Holmberg]

This is. You're Neil Degrasse Tyson. Oh, my God. That's probably true.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

Jason, I could turn to you for pretty much anything.

[Jason Cheney]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

What other bits of knowledge do you know that you should.

[Jason Cheney]

I know a lot of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Do you?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

What's your. What's your field of expertise?

[Jason Cheney]

I voted for Trump.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Did you? And we're gonna send you back. Jason, thanks for visiting. I really enjoy Jason. I liked him. I like him better somewhere else, that's for sure.

[Jason Cheney]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

For Taiwan. You go protect it for us. Why don't you go stand there and just let me know when the nukes go.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think that. Yeah, I think. Mr. President, did you vote for Trump for real?

[Jason Cheney]

No, I didn't vote. It was a choice. I did not vote as a. Yeah. As an American citizen that I wanted to exercise that. Right.

[John Holmberg]

I don't disagree with that.

[Jason Cheney]

Right. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I think not voting is a vote.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And you didn't like anybody or just too lazy to go?

[Jason Cheney]

No, I didn't like anybody.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't like a single person. Write yourself in. You have some good ideas.

[Jason Cheney]

I'm retarded.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. I forgot. I'm not sure we've allowed that to be. I am blown away at the can't burn Asian hands thing, and I hate that. I want to test it.

[Jason Cheney]

It's true.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it's so, like, bad for me to want to see it.

[Jason Cheney]

The lower.

[Unknown]

I can show it to you.

[John Holmberg]

You can show me videos of Asians on Instagram.

[Unknown]

There's a couple numerous videos where they're making food and they touch the fryer. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They touch the pan.

[Unknown]

That can't be real. But then you're seeing the food cooking.

[John Holmberg]

And of course, he would watch people cooking. I don't understand that as an entertainment thing.

[Jason Cheney]

I get hungry.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you can go get food. You don't watch people eat it.

[Jason Cheney]

That's true. I like to torture myself a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. See, I don't understand cooking shows and eating shows on tv.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If that was a thing, we'd just Stand outside of restaurants and poke our heads in the window like it was a sport.

[Jason Cheney]

Honestly, I'm with you on that one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's weird.

[Jason Cheney]

My wife be watching it and I'm like, what are we doing?

[John Holmberg]

Your wife watches people eat?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And there's tons of food and do it ourselves.

[Jason Cheney]

Yes. She's like, it feels good. I'm like, I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is your. Is your wife Asian?

[Jason Cheney]

She's. Why would you say that?

[John Holmberg]

Because you should stick together.

[Jason Cheney]

She's white.

[John Holmberg]

Is she white?

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Is that true?

[Jason Cheney]

She's black. Excuse me? I don't know. Why did you laugh like that when I said.

[John Holmberg]

Because I don't expect that to be true.

[Jason Cheney]

Oh, my God. That is so racist of you. She is black.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Do you have a black wife? Let me see a picture of your black wife.

[Jason Cheney]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

No. Will is. Oh, color is his wife.

[Will Pepper]

She's black.

[John Holmberg]

You're making that up. You just lied. She's Asian.

[Will Pepper]

Wait, let me try again.

[John Holmberg]

You have an Asian wife.

[Jason Cheney]

Why would you force that upon me?

[John Holmberg]

Because black men like Asian women. Black women don't like Asian men.

[Jason Cheney]

I have a huge. You know what it is?

[John Holmberg]

I don't believe you.

[Jason Cheney]

I will pull it out.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Show Brady and I'll let him judge it. I'll turn away. I don't want to make eye contact with you. I'm not going to stare into your eyes while this is going on. Brett has found a video of Asians touching.

[Will Pepper]

The deeper is enough to give anyone.

[John Holmberg]

A third degree burn. Look at this. Why is that a thing?

[Unknown]

Crazy.

[John Holmberg]

You're not wrong here. I. I thought you were a liar, and the whole time it's that.

[Jason Cheney]

I would never lie.

[John Holmberg]

No. Is your wife Asian? I need to know now.

[Jason Cheney]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Is she okay? Are you sure?

[Jason Cheney]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Will, are you married?

[Will Pepper]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Do you want to be?

[Will Pepper]

One day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, that's when it happens.

[Will Pepper]

One day.

[John Holmberg]

One day. Now, are you looking for anybody specific?

[Unknown]

Jewish woman?

[John Holmberg]

Black woman. Yeah, that's right. Well, you're not. It's not going to happen.

[Will Pepper]

I know. My ex girlfriend actually is black.

[Jason Cheney]

Yes. Yes. He has two black exes.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Jason Cheney]

I was there in the room. I was.

[John Holmberg]

You've seen it. You cucked it.

[Jason Cheney]

I was. I was recording.

[Will Pepper]

He was coaching.

[John Holmberg]

How'd he do? How did he do?

[Unknown]

In fact, you can see the videos on.

[John Holmberg]

Why did you. Why did your black girlfriend leave?

[Will Pepper]

I don't want a black girlfriend. No, I'm kidding.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. I thought it's because your rap album didn't do? Well, no, she had to move on. Did you guys, did you, did she break up with you? Did you break up with her?

[Will Pepper]

It was. I broke up with her.

[John Holmberg]

It was mutual racism.

[Jason Cheney]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Neither of you wanted the other anymore.

[Unknown]

Look, this isn't working out.

[John Holmberg]

I think I could talk to you two for hours and still get nothing out of it. Really. I enjoyed our time. Jason Cheney is at the 10pm Prov this week and Will Peffer is the opener. I don't like calling you that. You're the co headliner, I'm gonna say, even though Jason hates hearing that because that means you get paid more tonight and tomorrow. 10pmprev.com Jason, leave us with words of wisdom, sir. Help us fix the world. Something that will change people's brains.

[Jason Cheney]

If you wake up in the morning, you will have a bright morning. But if you sleep at nighttime, it's dark. Thank you so much.

[John Holmberg]

My God, it's like Confucius walked in the room. That was amazing. Jason Cheney, thank you very much. 10pm Prov all weekend. It's 90 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for this week's Pick of the Litter, brought to you by our friends at Turf monsters. Go to turfmonstersaz.com they help us out at Lost Our Home Pet rescue. We appreciate them greatly. This week's Peck of the Litter is a project. It's Jet. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees. Right now. It's this week. Pick of the litter. It's Jep. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com.