04-09-25 - Henry Cejudo's House Burglarized UFC Belt Stolen Seems He Brought Maryvale To Biltmore - Man w/Swastika Tattoo On Penis Falls Into Coma Surgeon Takes Pics Of His Wang Sparking Privacy Concerns

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: April 9, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Broadcasting on: 98 KUPD (97.9 FM)

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1. Henry Cejudo's House Burglarized and UFC Belt Stolen

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about MMA legend Henry Cejudo. Brady Bogen shares alarming news about Cejudo's recent troubles:

Brady (04:16): "I have dodged it all season... tonight I have to go because I told a friend of mine months ago."

Brady elaborates that Cejudo's house was broken into, resulting in the theft of his UFC championship belts and camera equipment. The team speculates on the motives behind the theft, questioning whether disgruntled fighters or fans could be responsible.

Brady (04:27): "And I'm, you know, this would not have happened if it weren't for that hit and run the other night."

2. Maryvale's Impact and Neighborhood Reaction

The conversation shifts to the influence of individuals from Maryvale in the local Arizona community. Brady expresses frustration over the negative changes brought by Cejudo's association with the area:

Brady (04:38): "He brought Maryvale with you. Now I've got to move... You can't take the man out of Maryvale. You can't take Maryvale out of the man."

He discusses concerns about increased crime and the safety of neighborhoods following Cejudo's actions, highlighting the community's unease.

Brady (05:20): "I gotta move. Do you understand? There goes the neighborhood."

3. Man with Swastika Tattoo on Penis Falls into Coma

A significant portion of the episode delves into a bizarre and controversial story about a man with a swastika tattoo on his penis who fell into a coma. Brady and John Holmberg dissect the implications of this incident, focusing on privacy and ethical concerns.

Brady (17:23): "It's my dick. I have the swastika on my pee pee. If anyone sees it... you're have a risk of it."

They debate the appropriateness of surgeons photographing such a sensitive and offensive tattoo, pondering the balance between medical necessity and personal privacy.

Brady (18:16): "All that story. As a surgeon, though, what, without having... you need the picture."

4. Surgical Privacy Concerns and Ethical Implications

The hosts engage in a heated debate about medical ethics related to patient privacy, especially concerning visible tattoos that may carry offensive symbols.

Brady (19:00): "If you've got a swastika on your dick, you're kind of half smiling. You're like, yeah, well, I did that for attention."

They discuss the potential consequences for both the patient and medical professionals when such tattoos become exposed due to unforeseen circumstances like a coma.

Brady (19:43): "Nobody with a swastika on their dick is running an average day. Nobody goes, I really regret the swastika on my penis."

5. Community and Listener Reactions

Throughout the episode, the hosts interact with listener comments and share personal anecdotes related to the main stories. They emphasize the importance of community standards and the impact of individual actions on neighborhood safety and cohesion.

Brady (21:06): "Ravens fans, you shouldn't even go to the doctor. You're gonna get everybody sick."

This segment reflects the show's characteristic mix of humor, controversy, and local concerns, engaging listeners in a dynamic and often provocative dialogue.

6. Advertising and Sponsorships

While the episode primarily focuses on the aforementioned topics, brief mentions of sponsors like MMP Guns and local businesses are interspersed. However, as per the instructions, these sections are summarized without delving into detailed promotions.

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Notable Quotes:

• Brady on Cejudo's Theft (04:27): "He brought Maryvale with you. Now I've got to move... You can't take the man out of Maryvale. You can't take Maryvale out of the man."

• Brady on Surgical Privacy (18:16): "All that story. As a surgeon, though, what, without having... you need the picture."

• Brady on Offensive Tattoos (19:43): "Nobody with a swastika on their dick is running an average day."

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Conclusion

In this episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness," the hosts navigate through sensational local news, blending humor with serious discussions about community safety and ethical dilemmas in medical practices. The burglary of Henry Cejudo's home and the peculiar case of the man with an offensive tattoo in a coma serve as focal points for broader conversations about the influence of notable figures on local neighborhoods and the boundaries of privacy in unexpected situations.

Listeners are left contemplating the delicate balance between personal expression and community standards, as well as the responsibilities of professionals when faced with controversial situations. The episode exemplifies the show's commitment to entertaining while tackling provocative and often unsettling topics.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

All right, HMS Podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you. All this for the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years. Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, Dewalt and more. They also specialize in tool repair including hydraulics like burndy and commercial electric contractor tools as well as having a state of the art on site glove testing facility. Visit Fisher Tools in store or [e-mail] and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order. Fisher Tools brands you know, service you trust.

[Brady]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning everybody.

[Toledo]

Hello there.

[Brady]

Welcome to Wednesday. It's 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big dick Toledo. This the morning sickness. And we're off and running on a glorious Wednesday morning where it's just listening to Brady talk off there a little bit made me feel like I my allergies. You got something brewing, huh? You sound like you got congested. Does he not sound like the fear. The fear I had because welcome. I have dodged it all season.

[Larry McFeely]

Me too. Up until like four days ago.

[Brady]

I can hear it.

[John Holmberg]

Welcome to the club.

[Brady]

Yeah. And Brett's got it. But I have been. Yeah, I've been ducking it the whole time. Other than my eyes have fe this year. The wind's blowing a little bit. Heat's coming. It's gonna start blooming. I fear it. Now Brady's got the honks and that's. That means it's gonna start getting everybody. Damn it all. Take my flow names get on that. Last night I got a text from. I didn't go to the game, to the sun's game last night.

[John Holmberg]

Sticking hard with that, huh?

[Brady]

Well, tonight I have to go because I told a friend of mine months ago.

[Larry McFeely]

It's the Thunder, right?

[Brady]

That we would go. And it's the OKC Thunder. But yeah, I. So tonight I'm going, this will be it. This is it. I'm saying goodbye, hopefully to the entire team. I might wear a bag on my head that says UN's and just get the S off and make it a dollar sign, because can you imagine spending $409 million on something that lost by 40 last night? And that's their fight for the playoffs. They're never mad. That's the big piss off is they're never mad. So, yeah, my buddy, who I've met through sons games, going to all the game stuff, season ticket holders names Anthony, and Anthony text me last night and he goes, hey, that he's a listener to show. And he says, that Henry guy, that UFC fighter that lives by, who's in the rah rah room right now, like, no kidding. And he goes, yeah, he said. And he was with somebody else. I mean, like, I don't know who it was, but he said that they were down in there. And he said, this guy's just like in the news like crazy now. And so then, yeah, he's in the news again. He's the guy who took down and fought the kid. It's my hood. This is my street. Car jumps it is the hood. Now. The car jumps into that house a couple nights ago. Henry comes out, sees it, beats the driver up a little bit, gives him a little ruffian stuff, slapping him around in the front yard, takes care of it. Next day he's got like a guest house studio in his backyard. Somebody hops defense, goes in there and steals his UFC championship belts from when he and Brett said it. And I couldn't agree more, Henry. I mean, I'm fine with you being in the neighborhood, but you brought Maryvale with you. Now I've got to move. Do you understand? There goes the neighborhood. And I'm, you know, you got a Maryvale guy, moves into the area, figured, be safe.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, who's gonna mess around?

[Brady]

I wouldn't.

[Larry McFeely]

He's not gonna announce he's leaving Maryvale.

[Brady]

Well, he did in the news, Brady. Well now. Well, he says he's from Maryvale. It doesn't matter. You can take the man out of Maryvale. You can't take Maryvale out of the man. It followed him. And now we got people breaking into stealing belts and that's it.

[John Holmberg]

Should we call Byron today and make sure he doesn't have that belt sitting there?

[Brady]

Yeah, Byron over at. Well, I think Byron would be wise enough not to have a general UFC championship belt accepted without questioning. A couple of things. They're pretty up and up when it comes to that. I don't think they're just going to pop it up and sell it. Be kind of awful if they did that. I don't think they'd do that. But, yeah, there he is again. And he's, you know, he's got the $10,000 reward for that. So now I got that going on in my neighborhood. I didn't hear the thing the other night when the car went crashing into the house. Right. You know, 10th, a mile from my home. I got this project going with turf monsters. I got all these things going on. I got, you know, and now I'm gonna have to move.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta get on the neighborhood app. I can't imagine what the hens are clucking about on that thing.

[Brady]

Oh, my God. You brought that element in. The white claws and the Merryvale fighters. Now look what's happening. In three days. I learned the guy, A, lived in my neighborhood, B, was from Maryvale, and C, now, crime, crime in there. It's just. It can't be done. And I wake up this morning and down the road from me, 12th street in Bethany, some. Some shooting overnight. Henry, this is your fault. We gotta get Henry on the show, and one of us has to go. I have a feeling I'm gonna lose that fight. So, I mean, I would say, damn it all, I gotta. Maybe if we had a battle of wits. I'm not so sure. I don't know. It's a little trivia contest. Trivia. Trivia acumen. But maybe we get a little jeopardy contest going. I don't know. I just keep. He's in the news every three seconds now, and he says, you're not gonna be able to sell it. You're not getting anything out of my belt. It's gonna be red hot. Every pawn shop in town is gonna want to touch it. You're going to know that it belongs to Triple C. Earned the hard way. They want that belt returned. Here's what they're saying. They want it returned, no questions asked.

[John Holmberg]

That's the Maryville way.

[Brady]

That is the Maryvale way. I ask questions. I want questions. Henry, think of your neighbors. Some dude popped over your started to steal stuff, and you're gonna let him go free? No. Evidently, the dude went into the studio and it was a top shelf thing. And when he tried to get the belt off the top shelf, he knocked a Glass over. And it woke someone. I don't know if someone was in the studio. They said they thought it was Henry. It was a short guy, so they thought it was him. It was Dylan Rush is his name. He was asleep in the studio when it happened. $10,000 of camera equipment was also stolen. I bet you that's it. It says, he will not pick you up and drop you on your head, put you in a pretzel and deliver justice like he does. Typically to people who break the law in the state of Arizona. You can't rule it out. But it's not gonna happen. It's. You know, this would not have happened if it weren't for that hit and run the other night. His reward for doing something heroic was getting his home burglarized. I agree with that. He went on TV and they're like, hey, Henry, what's his name's there? That means his belt is close by. So then Maryvale showed up. Cause that's what Maryvale does. That's why you couldn't have a nice car stereo in Maryville and that. Remember when Pimp My Ride was a show?

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

And those people from cities like Maryvale would get their. And then within a week they'd call MTV and go, hey, my car got stolen. That's your fault.

[John Holmberg]

You live in Compton.

[Brady]

Yeah, you live in Compton. And then you. You built this gigantic beacon of crime. Anyway, Henry, I'm all for keeping the neighborhood together, but I'm afraid I'm gonna start the petition today. And if you're from Maryvale, you can't live near me. And it's time for you to go back home. It's time for you to go make Maryvale. I didn't even know you lived there. He was such a good neighbor up until like Friday. And now that is a good neighbor.

[John Holmberg]

When you don't know they're there.

[Brady]

I didn't even know he was there. A perfect neighbor. An eye to him. The perfect neighbor. No, Brady. Brady hates that. But I to him. You can do whatever you want right now. Just blow your nose. Yeah, we were perfect neighbors. Reciprocally. He knew nothing of me, I knew nothing of him. And look how it was churning along beautifully. Beautifully. Anonymity. That's what it took. And then you find out, oh, this. Now I gotta sit there with a AR 15 in my hand all night long and five dogs manning my, you know, my windows because Henry's there. So what are you going to do? So if you have that belt, give it back. And you know what have the guts to give it back. Right to his face as well. Knock on his door and go, I'm sorry. And hand that back.

[John Holmberg]

Have a ring camera too.

[Brady]

Hopefully Henry sticks to his word and just takes his belt back. Now, they just said the thing about the belt. Ten grand for the belt, right? And say anything about the camera equipment, they still might bounce you off all the walls for the camera equipment. So he did say, give the belt back. There'll be no problems.

[Larry McFeely]

Would write that check pretty quick.

[Brady]

That raises all our insurance. If you're gonna steal and you're gonna give the belt back, give it all back. And I also don't care about insurance. When you, when you break into a neighborhood and the UFC fighter is the guy you rob and he says, come back, do it.

[Larry McFeely]

Was the, you know, when he got the belt, was it on a decision or just a flat out knockout?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Larry McFeely]

Because if it was a decision, I'd go right to the family members who he fought who thought they were robbed of the belt.

[Brady]

You think it was a. Maybe it was the guy he fought who thought, that's, that's my belt.

[Larry McFeely]

That's my belt.

[Brady]

That's suspect one. Brady. That's well done. Excellent work. We're going to need new police chief here soon. I think you just put your foot in the door. Yeah, I, Yeah, I don't understand this, but yeah, I see him. But yeah, my, my buddy Anthony texted me last night. He goes, that Henry guy's in here and he's. I forget who he said he was with. Oh, it was Cooper Cup. Cooper cup and Henry in there.

[Larry McFeely]

Oh, see?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, I forgot who was in town.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Who Cups with? La golden states like California. Yeah, I mean, they're just fun to watch, so. And I mean, especially this. Ask the Suns. The Suns had a great time watching them last night. They didn't do anything. They just, they watched.

[Larry McFeely]

They were.

[Brady]

Look, the fact. I want to talk to Matt Ishbia tonight. If I see him in my final night at the. At the Rah Rah Rumor, the thing, I'm going to ask him to come on the show. I'm going to say, hey, Matt. I've talked to him a couple Times. Morning sickness. The 98 KUPD, it's Larry McFeely.

[Byron]

And whether you're tearing up desert trails in a Tacoma, towing your toys with a tough tundra, or exploring the back roads in the all new 4Runner, your Toyota is built to go the distance. Now, obviously, our roads and weather can Be brutal. That's why keeping your Toyota in top shape is key. Trust only genuine Toyota technicians with genuine Toyota parts. From oil changes to full checkups, your Valley Toyota dealer has got you covered. So before you hit the trail, hit the service bay, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com Summer starts here. Toyota, let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Doug Hopkins]

The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like MMP GU is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Doug Hopkins]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at m&p guns.com.

[Brady]

I say, hey Matt, come here for a second. I got a question for you. You come on the show and my first question is going to be you recognize when things are priced poorly. I assume he's big on the finance and mortgage and things like that. He knows when a price points bad and I especially know that he knows that that's true because he took all the menu prices and made a big deal of the $2 menu. So we recognized that the fans were getting robbed with concessions there, you know, and everybody lost their minds. Two dollar soda, two dollar hot dog, two dollar everything.

[John Holmberg]

Everything say two dollars in the Rah Rah Rah.

[Brady]

I'm fine with that. Although I do have a beef with the Rah Rah room. It was exclusive and now it seems like everybody and their brother's just wandering in there. I'm done with that. So if you know that and what I just watched last night, the 40 point loss at home with zero effort at all and you had the nerve to raise ticket prices last year. Isn't it time you you knew that you've made it, you've made terrible errors and you have to let the fans know you're losing people like crazy. This team, I tell you what man, it's ski mask giveaway night. I didn't even know they were going to do that. But it's the fans giving the team ski masks to go collect their Checks. Look at you. It's payday. Yeah. It's the Izzy Factor. It's Izzy's hosting Ski mask Payday Night Suns Payday. I want Vince Morata to say that fans, the Suns got paid today. Let's watch on the big screen as they go into accounting and grab their checks and all of them pull a ski mask down and go in and get their paychecks because they are robbing this city and the fans and everything else. It's an embarrassment what's going on over there. And again, you can say, oh, the Cardinals have sucked. And nobody ever, in basketball or otherwise, has spent $409 million on a payroll and not at least been 500. It's unreal. It is unreal. Second highest payroll in American sports. All of them. And they're. They're the 11 seed and out of it. It was a ridiculous.

[Larry McFeely]

Put a tariff on the team.

[Brady]

Look, if I'm Devin Booker, let me say this. You need to start shouting instead of playing your stupid games. Here's one thing that Devin Booker has going for him. Seven or eight coaches. Devin Booker, superstar, is responsible for seven or eight coaches. At a certain point, you're the common denominator. You're the only thing that hasn't changed. Off you go. Don't wear your New York Knicks shoes. Don't give subtle Instagram. Be a man and demand a trade. Say, I want out. Be a man and say, I don't want this anymore.

[Larry McFeely]

You gonna go after the Nuggets coach?

[Brady]

It'd be great. There's another Memphis fired their coach, Taylor Jenkins, a couple weeks ago. That's a. That's a great coach. That's just more proof the inmates run the asylum. And in sports, in a lot of cases, especially the NBA and Joker will be available. The GM got the assistant GM in Denver, and the GM are out. If I'm the Suns, I hire them today. And say, guys, do what you can to schmooze that Joker into a trade. We'll do everything. You can have the whole team for Joker. We'll build around that. This guy says Booker needs to wise up and get out of there. He's going to be the next Larry Fitzgerald. We love him. No ring. No potential for a ring. Robert, you're absolutely right. And this city gets way too excited about the emotional attachment of a player they like and then just, you know, handcuffing him to the radiator and making him a Phoenix hostage. Larry never got a ring. And we're all like, legend, Larry Legend. Legend of Nothing. Should have traded him off. If you loved him, you should have let him go. And away from getting John Skelton, throwing him passes. Booker, if you love him, you should let him go and not have to live through another rebuild. What a joke that thing is over there. But I gotta go again tonight. This is my last night. Watch Oklahoma City.

[John Holmberg]

Just the last game or just the last game?

[Brady]

No, Friday's the last game. I swore them off, but then I forgot. Jordan and I were talking a long time ago about going to this one tonight. I already transferred bail on him. He's fun. Jordan's a fun dude. So I'm going to go with him tonight, so I'll have fun. I forgot all about that. Jordan and I talked about it and he's like, we got to get that game. Ah, you're right. So we won't, you know, we'll dick around and make fun of people in the crowd. And watching the team is pointless, but it's. Yeah. So great job by the Phoenix Suns to make people who spend a ton of money hate you. And that's all you've done. You've taken people who spent money and time and energy. And Doug Hopkins, I don't know how much money he spends on the Suns. He went. He's going to, like, four games this year. This is this. Nobody is a hateable team. And the sad part of it is, is the beginning of the year. They started off 8 and 1, kind of fun. They had some energy, and then the first sign of adversity, this thing fell apart. So. Yeah, and then the Nuggets fired their coach yesterday, Mike Malone, who's got, by the way, a tattoo on his back of, like, a gold miner holding the thing. And they're like, do you regret that? And he goes, I got a championship here. Yeah, I'm fine.

[John Holmberg]

Gold miner. They could turn that into Willie Winfall. Arizona lottery sponsor him.

[Brady]

Kind of looks like it kind of looks like that already. So. Yeah, Windfall Willie. Yeah, like, Willie, Willie, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter.

[Brady]

It's the discount. I like that better. I'm Willy Winfall. I came in second in the lottery mascotry. Yeah, he's got a tattoo. I saw another thing this weekend about tattoos and stuff being regrettable. I never thought of this. Dude has a swastika on his penis, right?

[John Holmberg]

It was, yeah.

[Brady]

Tattoo goes into a coma, and he's in this coma. And so they find out that these. A surgeon saw it. I started to take pictures of it. What would you do? Surgeons are humans. Guys, come on. You Take that picture. And plus the tattoo guy. You did that for attention. So, yeah, you want people. There's a certain aspect of, like, that's my private. You had a swastika tattooed to your dick. If anybody sees it.

[Larry McFeely]

All that story. As a surgeon, though, what, without having.

[Brady]

You know, you need the picture. If somebody told me I saw a guy with. I was like, that's neat. And he goes, you want to see a picture? You're gonna say, no, bro, look at this.

[Larry McFeely]

No, I believe a surgeon.

[Brady]

You believe him. But if he's like, I got pictures. You wanna see it? You're gonna sit back and go, that would be an invasion. You'd be the first one. And Also, guess who, Mr. Pollyanna over here, who, if you got hold of that, wouldn't be sending that to us. My buddy's a doctor, and he just saw this. We'd all be doing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, in a heartbeat.

[Brady]

Nobody. If you've got a tattoo on your dick and it gets exposed, you're kind of half smiling. You're like, yeah, well, I did that for attention in the first place.

[John Holmberg]

But what if it was Dr. Goldberg or something that was taking. And you got the swastika on your crank?

[Brady]

The risk of it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[Brady]

That's on you, too.

[Larry McFeely]

That's why I thought you made me say that he removed it without the guys.

[Brady]

Well, that would be. The doctor just carves it off. Oh, yeah. I'll show you. Yeah. Oh, wake up. Hey, he's up. Look anything different, Mr. John Wayne Bobbitt? I feel like I've lost a little weight. And where's my cool swastika dick tattoo? Ah. Take that. Yeah. That's the risk you take of going into a coma with swastika tattoos is that there's a lot of Jewish doctors. You gotta hope you get one of those Indian hospitals with those guys that. They see that as the peace sign for Swahili. Peace sign. Yeah. So it's. You gotta hope for a doctor that sees that the other way.

[John Holmberg]

Just get Dell tech support written on there. And if that's the case.

[Brady]

Yeah. You get the Dell logo or you Discover cartoon. That's the. That's the risk of penis tattoos, though, if I see it. If you fall asleep and you're naked and there's a swastika on your dick, I'm taking pictures of that. You don't have privacy anymore when you put a swastika on your dick. And he wants money now. The doctor got fined ten grand, which I think Is reasonable to go, all right, you got caught. You shouldn't have done that. Ten grand's pretty good. Dr. Be like, I got that. We're all right. Okay, I won't do it again. But the guy, the coma patient's family was like, yeah, well, that was his. And he shouldn't have that exposed. I'm like, he would have wanted it this way. You had a swastika on your dick. You're not. You've made all bad decisions in your life. Suddenly you can't be the guy that. That you know, everybody better be moral around me. I've got a swastika on my dick. Now you're. You've lost your rights. That's.

[Larry McFeely]

I saw it on a missile when I was younger, and I thought that'd.

[Brady]

Be cool right there. Yeah, I don't. I don't think you have the right to start pointing fingers how badly everybody else has behaved when you have a swastika tattooed to your pee pee. I can't believe the way these people, these animals are behaving. I was in a coma, for crying out. You know, if you. Swastika on your dick. Yes, of course. But I'm allowed to do whatever I want, no matter how aggressive it is. My body, my. Right now.

[Larry McFeely]

I mean, just think about how much tattooing that is going on. How many people are going through surgeries. We think they gotta see that all the time. Not necessarily. Not on the wiener, maybe, but tattoos that are similar swastikas in other places.

[Brady]

I like swastikas.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I got that.

[Brady]

Very hillbilly. It's the way a guy who has a swastika tattoo to his penis says it. I got me a swastika on my pee pee. Yeah, well, I mean, doctors see all sorts of, you know, tattoos that are strange. You go into a coma with one on your dick. I'm taking that picture, too. I'm with the doctor, and this one comes in.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine the classy women that enjoyed that crank.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Imagine the chicks that follow through. Oh, what is that? Is that a Pepe Le Pew? No. Wait for it. In a few seconds, you'll see it's getting bigger. Oh, it's a Nazi symbol. Yep, she still did it.

[John Holmberg]

It's like the inflatable at our shows and stuff. All sudden, it just gets bigger.

[Brady]

Oh, that's what it is. Oh, I thought it was a blackbird. It turns out John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD.

[Byron]

Spring is in full swing now, and summer is right around the corner. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And there's no better time to hit the trails, the lakes, and those wide open desert roads in a brand new Toyota. Whether you're hauling gear to Roosevelt Lake in the powerful Toyota Tundra, navigating rocky trails in the rugged Tacoma, or exploring Sedona in The all new 4Runner, Toyota's the muscle and comfort to match your most excellent adventures. Head to your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com today and gear up for summer in a ride that's built for the heat and the adventures. Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron. I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Doug Hopkins]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

There's no back orders?

[Doug Hopkins]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP.

[Brady]

Guns.Com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. You did it for laughs, you did it for attention. You did it because you're a horrible person. You're going to get that photographed. If you go into a coma and probably got in a coma because he got jack stomped by, like, you know, the mojit. What is that? Israeli fighting force or whatever. Like, you probably got beat up at some rally being a dick. You go into a coma. He didn't go into a coma because, you know, he had too much sugar and he's diabetic. He went to a coma in some sort of Nazi rally. Nobody with a swastika on their dick is running an average day. Nobody goes, I really regret the swastika on my penis. Those dudes are super proud of it. And they probably got it in prison for being a Nazi in the first place. It says the tattooed patient reported the required orthopedic surgeon after a pipe bomb he made exploded in his hands.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Jesus.

[Brady]

You're allowed to take pictures of this guy's penis, Send him anywhere you want.

[Larry McFeely]

Just making a pipe bomb for fun.

[Brady]

And then he's morally. He's morally just. This is horrible what they've done to me. Yeah. And the doctor hated him. Probably is. Like, what happened to this guy? Oh, he's building pipe bombs, and it blew up in his house. What for? You'll see. Oh, okay. Oh, I see it. Okay. I'm taking pictures of. Send us to all my Jewish friends. And think about that as a doctor still giving great care.

[John Holmberg]

What a guy.

[Brady]

All right, that was a Brady.

[John Holmberg]

One came in.

[Brady]

I do like Matt Doer Walker's name, though. It's a swastika. Oh, Matt. Yeah. Yeah. You think about doctors when they, you know, they have to look past all of your crap, swastika tattoos, you know, Klansmen riding horses on your back, tattoo and still care for you and treat you. And I wonder how many times I think I would do this if I was a doctor. You see, like, if I saw somebody come in and they had, like, a Baltimore Ravens tattoo on their chest, whoops. Accidentally cut an artery, I don't think I'd give good service. It's kind of like the way cooks and waiters will spit in your food. A doctor's way of spitting in your food is kind of like, well, I accidentally tied his bladder to his stomach. And you know, you know, as a doctor, how to make some accidents, you know, it's not gonna be an egregious medical mess. That's why they always say that. It's like, we've got malpractice insurance. I'd take my chances with a little malpractice lawsuit. If I got to cut open a Raven's fan, I wouldn't stop carving that thing out. Margaret Scappel. What? He has a sore throat, sir. I think it starts here, down by his taint. And we're gonna cut him from his taint to his neck to open him up.

[John Holmberg]

If Big Trust came in, you wouldn't take care of him.

[Brady]

Oh, if I. Oh, my God, what a riddle that would be. I'm a surgeon. Big Trust. Lamar Jackson comes rolling in. I'm dying. I'm so sleepy. It was like his appendix. I go in there and just. Dirty hand, the whole thing. Forgot my gloves. And I would reach into my ass crack and just. Well, mine, not mine. I reach into Brady's ass crack, get some of that rust. And I'd reach into Lamar with no gloves, and he'd wake up, thanks, Doc. I appreciate it. And I'd be, God, you're ugly. That's great. But I'm alive. I'm like, yep, for now. And let the infection kick in. Oh, it's almost enough, Brett, to make me want to go to medical school, to move to Baltimore and just wait. Yeah, I'd be a bad doctor because I'd pick and choose who lives. I would be Mangele when it comes to that. I wouldn't. I wouldn't be the guy that's like, you know. Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

One comment, you're like, all right, fine.

[Brady]

This asshole put him to sleep. Oh, I.

[Larry McFeely]

You'd be the worst.

[Brady]

Be euthanizing Ravens fans like crazy. It would be on the questionnaire. How come you have to know my height, weight, and favorite football team? Just fill it out. It's for insurance. All right, Raven, You're a Ravens fan, huh? That's great. Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

The girl that lays down on the table getting ready to surgery, you come in. This is your doctor. I'm Dr. Holmberg.

[Brady]

Ooh. Yeah. She said, oh, sleepy, sleepy. I have my back turned. You're a doctor, huh? Are you married? Yeah. I turn around and she goes, oh, gross. I'm killing her.

[Larry McFeely]

You're in good hands.

[Brady]

High school. Oh, yeah. Oh, could you imagine being a me? Come back in. Like, I remember you. We went to high school together. I know. I had a crush on you. Is that right? Well, well, well. You caused lots of sleepless nights there, Christy. Sleep. I'd be a. I would be a terrible. I would definitely get. I have a friend who's a. He replaces livers for a living. He's like a car mechanic. Does three or four on a Friday.

[Larry McFeely]

Wow.

[Brady]

In and out. And he was late meeting us one day for lunch because he had his fourth heat. He did four, and the fourth one took a little while, so he had to. He comes in. Sorry, I had a hurry that last one up. Oh, yeah. And he did. And he goes, ads, snip, snip, blop. You're in. It's good. I got this. And it's just a job to him, but I'm like, you don't. Like. You can't get to know the patients. And he's meh. You know him. You know, you try to be nice and stuff. It's a tough time for a lot of those people. I'm like, yeah, I guess so. And then I started thinking how often I would. Again, I don't know what the Ravens fan. Dude with a Jimmy Buffett.

[Doug Hopkins]

Anyone.

[Brady]

Anyone in a Tommy.

[Larry McFeely]

They don't get backgrounds.

[John Holmberg]

That's the reason why, man.

[Brady]

Yeah, but, I mean, you'd know the tattoo is a dead giveaway, like, if.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Brady]

I mean, you got a big Michigan M on there or, you know, Ohio State on this guy's body. And you are now in control of his spleen.

[John Holmberg]

Or a Margaritaville tattoo on his arm.

[Brady]

And it's like, maybe the blender.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, goodbye.

[Brady]

Yeah, there's a few things about your Ink3:11 rules. I didn't rid the planet of this guy.

[Larry McFeely]

That'll be a new campaign. Think before you ink.

[Brady]

There you go. Think before you ink and have doctors just go, look, not all of us are on the up and up here. You want to. You want to break out that stupid Hanna Barbera cartoon raven head on your body. Just think, a Steeler doctor might be the next one in you. You think the swastika on your penis is hilarious till Dr. Rosen. Rosen is working on you. Yeah, I wonder. I bet you it happens a lot. You know, it's like one of the number one killers in the country is death during hospital stays and stuff. Like, they kill a lot of people in hospitals and they get away with it. Now, you look up the numbers of how many people die in surgeries or hospitals, and it's. It's big. And, you know, a lot of them are sick. A lot of them are in there because they're on their last leg. So during the operation or post op, you know, their bodies can't react differently. Sure. And a lot of them are in their 80s and things, so the numbers.

[Larry McFeely]

You don't know, John.

[Brady]

But you don't know. And you can hide a lot in that pile.

[Larry McFeely]

That's all we're saying.

[Brady]

Hey, look, it happens all the time. They're very mobsters. Like, look, it happens. We're just. They've said it a million times. We're just practicing medicine. They don't. They don't. There's a reason why they have outs for it. They make you sign papers that say if you die, it's okay.

[John Holmberg]

Globally, 4.2 million people are estimated to die within 30 days of each surgery.

[Brady]

You could throw in a few Ravens fans on that one.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

I'm sure there's some organization out there that'll be calling the station like Ravens United, saying he wants to kill all the Ravens fans. And you know what? You're not wrong. Oh, here we go again. But I, I, I don't care. I would, but I'm not saying openly light them up. I'm saying, if you are a doctor, I will pay you to kill a Ravens fan. That's what I'm saying. Nothing weird. Oh, my God. Could you imagine? I never even thought of this. Like, I don't know that I have.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, you know, a lot of too are just. I mean, the factor in the being 80 and going in for sure.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. Replacement. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. A lot of that's the thing. The numbers inflated. So you can throw in a few healthy ones ago. He was just one of the unlucky ones. I mean, if I'm in there in the ER and some dude, you just hear, oh, I'm not in yum city anymore. Oh, put me on a flip flop and I see Guy Fieri get gurneyed by me. Dr. Holmberg, please to the ER Room 6. I don't know how it works. Please. Emergency of it. We have a Flavortown emergency. You gotta save me, doc. Yes, yes I do. I have to save not only you, but society. Guy. Get the anesthesiologist in here. Let's put Guy down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I would crank it up, pal.

[Brady]

I would accidentally kill Guy Fieri any chance I got if I was a surgeon. It's not murder when they do it, but yeah. Guy Fieri. Three eleven's bus crashes. I'm on duty. Oh my God. I got a new Black Mirror episode brewing in my head right now. It's fantastic. John holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Doug Hopkins]

Brett, I sure do. It's M and P Guns. Customs M and P Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Doug Hopkins]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms and inventory daily with. No wait.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com It's John Holmberg here.

[Brady]

Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug hopkins.com, tV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online. Doughhopkins.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins Singers. Call Doug Hopkins. 1-800-sale- now. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Ravens fans would be top of the list. Who would your team be? Do you have anybody from your past? You're like, I get rid of that. Andy Dorf. If you were in charge as a surgeon, there isn't a single person that rolls in. You're like, oh, now's my chance.

[Larry McFeely]

Not right now.

[Brady]

Michigan. Jim Harbaugh.

[Larry McFeely]

Getting close.

[Brady]

Yeah. Hitler. Oh, there you go.

[Larry McFeely]

There might be a mess up on surgery there.

[Brady]

You think if you had a chance. Hitler's like, oh, my appendix. You'll have to crack the cranky crack. You have to fix it. Okay.

[Larry McFeely]

Sorry. I didn't know where it was.

[Brady]

Well, no, you can't do that. Yeah. Because then his whole family can sue. You have to actually do it to be sloppy. You have to do a little stink palm in your own crease and. And then get it on your glove.

[Larry McFeely]

Because that's where you hear the ones that died.

[Brady]

Infections. That's where they die. You dig around in there with stink palm on one of those latex gloves and you put it on top of his appendix. Dig around in there for a second like, you lost your keys. Oh, I'd be a bad doctor. Who's yours?

[John Holmberg]

Let's see here. Buffett.

[Brady]

Jimmy Buffett. Well, Jimmy Buffett fans, like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if you wear Tommy.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's pretty.

[John Holmberg]

You go that far, Billy Joe, let's.

[Brady]

See if you still have a shirt with a martini glass on the back of it. Goodbye. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and mess with your spleen.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody at a fish conc. Including the band.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Agreed. Grateful Dead.

[Brady]

Pretty darn close.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty gone.

[Brady]

Yeah. If a Deadhead came in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You gotta fix me, man.

[John Holmberg]

Aaron Rodgers.

[Brady]

You get. No, see, I can't right now. I'm very close to you, dude. Lamar, I understand, but there you go. I can't do Aaron Rodgers right now. You have to understand that he's almost.

[John Holmberg]

I know. You can't.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. I'm saying you. Yeah, I'm. I understand why. I get it. My goodness. Excellent, Brady. You're the only decent one. I bet you. I bet you I'm gonna throw, like, a 40 number out there. The few doctors have gone and dropped like, you know, something inside a guy.

[John Holmberg]

Want to get my money back and my insurance that I pay every year.

[Brady]

Medical malpractice insurance is insane. Those guys. To get your money's worth and, you know, swastika on a dick, they've got to treat that guy. You Can't. He was building a pipe bomb for bad things. Just let him go and then take pictures and share it with your friends. The mistake he made was sharing it with his. His one not so sure friend.

[Larry McFeely]

That's what I'm saying. I mean, you know. You know. You know, not to take a picture.

[Brady]

Well, no, I take the picture, and I would send it to my trusted friends. He made one mistake of it, went to a friend, who sent it to another friend.

[Larry McFeely]

They sent it to their trusted friends.

[Brady]

Right. And then. And then there's one lady goes, where do you let her at? It's a wife. Yeah. You can't. That's not right. Oh, man. You come into my operating room, you know, I could be a guy who handles ingrown toenails. You got a raven's tattoo. There's a good chance I'm sprinkling a little infection on that.

[Larry McFeely]

I lost a foot.

[Brady]

Lost my whole leg through an ingrown toenail. The doctor said it's the worst he's ever seen. Yeah, it was terrible. Didn't expect you to get that infection the way you did. Oh, I'd be. I'd be. I'd cut some corners.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to give a name here, but somebody says, I work for a large doctor's practice, and I'd see notes on if they can. If that are covered in tattoos, they can pay their bills. They're covered in tattoos.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Just basically like, hey, yeah, don't act like they can't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Guys covered until they judge, you die. It's natural. You come rolling in head to toe like some sort of piece of art, and then say, I don't know. I can't pay my bills. Like, each one of these cost a couple grand.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Eventually, Raven fans will put it together. Where'd you go, Dr. Holmberg?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Well, I can't imagine there'd be a bunch of them.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, there's 150 people missing legs or, you know, or. Or limbs.

[Brady]

Maybe I'm just not a good doctor. You know what I'd have to do? I'd have to do it to a couple old people just to keep the numbers right. It's like stealing at Tony Romas. You had to do it even on nights you didn't want to steal, just to keep the checks and balances of the receipts at the end of the night. Because if one night the bartenders were stealing a couple hundred bucks and it showed up on the thing, and the next night it was zero, the owners were like, well, how come some nights when you work, it said so we all. I didn't want to steal at first, but I had to do it for Bill Osborne. Bill was taking $200 every time he worked. So on nights I bartended. If I didn't, it would be John works, there's no voids, and Bill works. There's always 200 in voids. What's going on? So Bill's like, you gotta help me out here, buddy. I need you to vote. And then the worst part was I didn't even get a cut of that. I need you to void out about 150 to 200 a night just to keep everything on the up and up. Put it in this little blue thing, and I'll get it the next day. So at first I thought, oh, this is just to keep the cash churning. I see what he's doing. No, it was for his house.

[John Holmberg]

About Ray Lewis.

[Brady]

Ah, no, there's too much.

[Larry McFeely]

Dangerous.

[Brady]

Yeah, there's too many eyeballs on that one. Can't kill a. It would have to be. Oh, my God. I guess Lamar would have eyeballs, too, but that would be just too fun to surgically infect him. Yeah, I guess Ray Lewis, too. I'd have to do that. Yeah, man. I'd be a bad doctor in Baltimore. There'd be no survivors. I would move directly to the heart of crab crap water. Baltimore, Maryland, Your practice would say on.

[Larry McFeely]

The outside, go Ravens.

[Brady]

All Raven free. Ravens fans eat free. That would be the Raven's kids eat free. Come on. Bring your families in. That'd be a. Oh, I do it all. Oh, I do it all. Try to remove that part. I'll just. You get me excited. It's the only way I'd live in that brackish water city of. It smells like sulfur and hooker. It's the grossest town in America. Tucson's up there. Toledo's right behind it. El Paso, Baltimore. Ugh.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's throwing theirs in LeBron James.

[Brady]

There's a lot of people that wouldn't do it like Lakers would. That's a big one. You're worried about going to again. Like a lot of those guys. Like Kobe Bryant. Remember when he was here and somebody tried to put poop in his food? I think they got him. He got. He got food poisoning when he was.

[Larry McFeely]

Night before.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, don't forget Jordan in Utah.

[Brady]

Jordan got. Yeah, they. They poisoned him. Now imagine you have to go to a doctor. Matt. I never thought of that before.

[Larry McFeely]

That backfired, though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he still kicked their ass yeah.

[Brady]

He was sick, and he puts up 50. He's pooping his pants the whole time. Anyway, I'd be a bad doctor. In fact, Ravens fans, you shouldn't even go to the doctor. You're gonna get everybody sick.

[John Holmberg]

There's no cure.

[Brady]

Yeah. There's nothing to fix. You Ravens fans should just. They're all. Probably don't even get sick because they're. Their immune system so strong from just being so dirty all the time. Pigs wallowing in their own feces all day long, just rolling around like swine. Ravens fans. Ew. Ugh. I would. Nathan Sutherland, a Ravens fan, I'd impregnate that one.

[John Holmberg]

Medical mistakes are the third leading cause of death in the usa.

[Brady]

Doctors are killing people. I hadn't thought of this before. I always just kind of chalked it up to, well, there. It's risky procedures. Nope. They get to know you, and they pick and choose. They say those death panels, they always worry about that. Death panels with health care stuff. Like, they'll pick and choose who to. Who lives and who dies. I think they're doing it already. And it's based on your favorite sports team. That's a good man. That's a good one. Swastika on the dick took a picture. He's gotta pay some money. Don't get swastikas tattooed to your dicks. That's general humanity right there. If you do run the risk, Dr. Rosen. Rosen's gonna photograph that. Send it to Brett. Brett sends it to me. I send it to somebody, and their wife sees it, and the next thing you know. Where did you get this? I don't know. John sent it to me. Brett sent it to him, and his friend Dr. Rosenrosen said, Dr. Rosenrosen just broke my. In fact, the guy I'm going to the game with tonight, doctor Used to knock me out and then tease me about, like, all the stuff they did to my body. Did a manipulation under anesthesia thing, which was awesome. You get knocked out, and then they do. They manipulate all your joints while you're asleep. It's incredible. It's like a year's worth of yoga in 20 minutes. It's incredible. And you wake up and you feel like you're in a car wreck. Like, two days later, you're moving so fluid. They only do it for people who are like, I got problems. And I had problems at the time. But Dr. Jordan would say that to me. It's like, man, he said, you are tight. Dr. Jordan, I don't think that's a thing. He's not a doctor anymore, so it's okay. He goes, I can get my whole fist in. Like, you were so relaxed. And I'm like, oh, no. Dr. Larry Nassar. You know, most of the time we think of doctors doing dirty, sexy stuff, not killing people. I would kill people. Brady'd be the only doctor that wouldn't.

[Larry McFeely]

Like Michigan State people.

[Brady]

You know what I would do if I was Brady's assistant? Like he said, oh, never would I kill anyone from Michigan. And I would just wave that grilled cheese under his little mask, and then he'd sloppy eat right there over the. Over the hole in your body and get food inside. Crumbs and cheese and stuff.

[Larry McFeely]

Nurse. Ham and cheese.

[Brady]

Yeah. He would use. He would use that scalpel to cut that thing in half. That's a thick one. Then you lick the end of the scalpel and put it right back in the guy. I know how to kill your patients, too, Brady. I don't believe this is happening.

[Larry McFeely]

It was a pizza cutter.

[Brady]

Yeah, he left one of his surgical tools inside. Well, it wasn't really a surgical tool. It was a giant fork and a pizza cutter and chopsticks. I don't even know why he had those.

[Larry McFeely]

Looks like a sauce moto container.

[Brady]

Donuts and sugar and all sorts of stuff going inside that guy. Raising cane's crumbs. He died of raising canes. That's how people say that about Brady. But they won't know it would be the opposite way. Let's get a wake up song. Didn't even think of that. Check your pee pee for tattoos today. Maybe think about getting them removed in case you drop into a coma, because everybody's gonna see it. Give us The Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Larry McFeely]

No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[Toledo]

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[Unknown]

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