04-09-25 - John Won't Go To The Masters Because He Doesn't Want The Reality To Ruin Perfect Perception - Twins Who Lived At Playboy Mansion And Had Sex w/Hefner Now Telling Their Story - John Is Apparently Really Getting A Free Generator

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona | Episode Released April 9, 2025

Hosts:

• John Holmberg
• Brady Bogen
• Brett Vesely
• Dick Toledo

---

1. Perception vs. Reality of Live Events

The episode kicks off with a discussion centered around live events, specifically the Masters Golf Tournament. John Holmberg expresses his reluctance to attend the event in person, fearing that the reality might tarnish the pristine image portrayed on television.

• John Holmberg [01:56]:
  "I don't want the peripheral, you know, trailer park or something... It's like, ah. Kind of like the majesty of the Masters is sort of TV based. I'd like to go, but I have a feeling it would be like disappointing."

The hosts delve into the idea that televised events often present an idealized version, omitting the less glamorous aspects. This sentiment extends to other events like the Kentucky Derby and Disney World, where the hosts believe the reality doesn't live up to the TV portrayal.

• John Holmberg [02:08]:
  "India... it's just slime three blocks away... You don't see the Porta Johns when you watch the Phoenix open on TV."

• Brady Bogen [03:44]:
  "You have to go to Disney World to experience Disney World."

The conversation highlights a common theme of disillusionment with live experiences compared to their televised counterparts, emphasizing the discrepancy between expectation and reality.

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2. Allegations of Misconduct at the Playboy Mansion

A significant portion of the episode shifts focus to disturbing allegations involving twins who lived at the Playboy Mansion and had sexual encounters with Hugh Hefner. The hosts discuss the twins' claims, which suggest grooming and forced relationships.

• John Holmberg [08:07]:
  "They were like, you know, it's like having sex with our grandfather was so weird. He groomed us."

• Brady Bogen [11:20]:
  "He's using his leverage. He's a powerful man. He's got something that they want. That's exactly... It's very Harvey Weinstein."

The hosts draw parallels between Hefner's behavior and other high-profile cases of abuse, critiquing the manipulation and exploitation of young women in such environments. The discussion underscores the serious nature of the allegations and the potential for abuse of power in influential circles.

• John Holmberg [11:31]:
  "Harvey was promising things and not delivering. He was giving them stuff... He's like, go ahead and try."

The conversation also touches on the impact of these experiences on the victims, including issues like sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancies, further highlighting the gravity of the situation.

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3. Unexpected Generator Giveaway and Online Security Concerns

Shifting gears, John Holmberg shares a personal anecdote about unexpectedly winning a generator from Tractor Supply without entering any sweepstakes. This leads to a broader discussion on online security and the prevalence of fraudulent charges.

• John Holmberg [24:21]:
  "I won the generator... All I had to pay was that a processing fee. $13.75."

However, the excitement is quickly dampened by recurring fraudulent activities linked to streaming services accounts, forcing John to secure new credit cards and navigate the complexities of online security.

• John Holmberg [28:25]:
  "I've had my Netflix account cracked three times. Two times I had to change my credit card."

The hosts discuss solutions like Rocket Money, a service John subscribes to for managing and protecting his financial information against unauthorized charges. This segment underscores the challenges individuals face in safeguarding their online transactions amidst increasing cyber threats.

• John Holmberg [29:53]:
  "I pay $10 a month to Rocket Money to make sure that the things that I've signed up for that I'm familiar with... they recovered money for me."

This segment serves as both a personal update and a cautionary tale about the importance of vigilance in the digital age.

---

4. Controversial Sexual Jokes and Banter

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in provocative and offensive humor, particularly focusing on inappropriate sexual topics involving older individuals. This includes derogatory remarks about sexual encounters with elderly men and women, which some listeners might find distasteful.

• John Holmberg [42:18]:
  "After 70, I'm gay. I've seen 70-year-old women not attracted to them."

• Brett Vesely [45:17]:
  "If you go on gay at 70, you better get that injection in your butthole."

Such content reflects the hosts' edgy and unfiltered comedic style, aiming to entertain through shock value. However, it also raises concerns about the boundaries of humor and respect for sensitive topics.

---

5. Promotions and Advertisements

While the hosts strive to keep advertisements and promotions minimal, there are intermittent mentions of sponsors and events, including:

• MMP Guns Promotion [27:02]:
  "MMP Guns is your one-stop shop for all your shooting needs... Visit us at MMPguns.com."

• Comedy Shows Promotion [40:42]:
  "Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv... Gary Owen entertains you all this week."

These segments highlight local businesses and events, providing listeners with resources and entertainment options within the Arizona area.

---

6. Community and Neighborhood Discussions

Towards the latter part of the episode, the conversation shifts to community issues, particularly focusing on neighborhood dynamics and personal anecdotes about local residents.

• John Holmberg [50:37]:
  "I have a couple of AR15s usually within arm's reach at this point since Maryvale moved in."

The hosts discuss the challenges of maintaining safety and order within their community, particularly in response to new and potentially disruptive neighbors. This segment combines humor with genuine concerns about neighborhood security and cohesion.

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Conclusion

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" offers a blend of serious discussions and controversial humor. From dissecting the gap between televised events and their real-life counterparts to delving into allegations of misconduct at the Playboy Mansion, the hosts cover a wide array of topics. Additionally, personal stories about unexpected giveaways and ongoing concerns about online security add depth to the conversation. However, the episode is also marked by provocative and offensive humor that may not resonate with all listeners. Overall, the episode reflects the show's intent to entertain, question, and sometimes disturb its audience through a mix of topical discussions and edgy banter.

---

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [02:08]:
  "You just see the glorious McDowell Mountains and the beautiful setting in the blue sky. And then when you're there, just slop and spilled beers and sticky drunks and gross things all over."

• Brady Bogen [11:20]:
  "He's using his leverage. He's a powerful man. He's got something that they want. That's exactly... I mean, it's very Harvey Weinstein."

• John Holmberg [24:21]:
  "The generator being shipped for $13 on its way. Be here, I believe. Really Good Friday."

• John Holmberg [42:18]:
  "After 70, I'm gay. I've seen 70 year old women not attracted to them."

These quotes encapsulate the range of topics and the hosts' distinctive conversational style throughout the episode.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and we're talking to you about reactdefense.com the home of tactical black self defense training. You know all about it by now. Get in great shape. Learn stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Prepare for a life you just can't prepare for until you start doing the work. And right now the price is unbeatable. Don't two months of personal training right there. Hands on react defense self defense system. It is 199 bucks for two months. You're not getting that anywhere else and all you have to do is go to reactdefense.com the home of tactical black Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Thank you quite kindly. Miles to nowhere, Katie and the Hobbs getting us started here and away we go. I'm getting emails like crazy about all sorts of different things. Just trying to catch up with you guys. And you know, this one caught my eye. It's masters week. That starts this week, right? Tomorrow. Today's kind of a big par three today shoot around three game and then the whole deal gets going tomorrow. One of the most beautiful things to watch on television whether you're a golf fan or not. You get a good TV and watch some masters. It's artwork that that course is gorgeous.

[Brady]

Good meltdowns.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't even care about the players. I would watch just a drone shot going around that course. And and one of the reasons I've never really said oh, I want to go there Tripp's gone there a few times.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he says it's amazing. I don't want to because it's. My dad told me that at the Kentucky Derby, he goes, don't go. He goes, it's the best event I've ever been to. Don't go. And he goes. Because it's just the visual you have, the perception you have is. Is what it is. And then you leave Churchill Downs and evidently it's just awful. India, which I've never really had much of a desire to go to. Every single person I've talked to says, that picture of the Taj Mahal that looks so glorious. And everything else, they edit out the fact that it is just slime three blocks away, all around. Not even three blocks away. Like a fence line. It's slums surrounding it. It's a disaster. And then right in the middle of it is this epic, gorgeous thing. And I kind of feel that way about the Masters golf course. As you look at it on TV and you're like, this is. It's perfect. Like, there isn't a. And then. But I don't want the peripheral, you know, trailer park or something that. It's Georgia, for God's sakes. There's going to be stuff that you see from the Masters, like, oh, no. Or you know, the shed with all the equipment in it, the things that TV dodges to make it beautiful all the time. You know, like, you don't see the Porta John's when you watch the Phoenix open on TV. You just see the glorious McDowell Mountains and the beautiful setting in the blue sky. And then when you're there, just slop and spilled beers and sticky drunks and gross things all over. It's like, ah. Kind of like the majesty of the Masters is sort of TV based. I'd like to go, but I have a feeling it would be like, disappointing.

[Brady]

The magic part of it, you know, going to Disneyland for people or Disney.

[John Holmberg]

World, people always say that.

[Brady]

Well, you know, the actual aesthetics outside that.

[John Holmberg]

Disney World doesn't really have a TV image, though. You don't really see it every year in one glorious thing. And then go there and go, oh, seeing the warts. Like, you have to go to Disney World to experience Disney World. Yeah, but you don't have to do that with the Master. Yeah, but I mean, it's like the Masters has. It's this. It's what you. And then you go there and it's like whenever you go see something that's always on tv, you've got A perception of it the whole way. And you're always like, oh, it's so small. That's usually the first thing you think of. Like, it's not the Grand Canyon, which TV can't do justice to. I don't know. The Masters is a weird one. This guy says, would you rather play three rounds at the Masters with three of your best friends or three nights with Brett, Margot Robbie, John Dua, Lipa Brady, Aunt Jemima? Three nights. You don't golf.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

But you still get the honor of playing the legendary, glorious Masters golf course. This is easy for me. I wouldn't have any fun on that course. It would be awful.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Be boning away on.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Anything that kind of looks like that. That doesn't even have to be the real one. You'd play the course. Yeah. Yeah. There's no doubt.

[Brett]

Bring Margot.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I wouldn't. I would. It would be disappointing to play it and just have a bad round or you find out it's just true.

[Brady]

With most of the championship courses that you're talking about, like pebble beach, average person is going to be well over 100, probably the first time you're playing it.

[John Holmberg]

I stumbled onto pebble beach accidentally. That was kind of neat. But then I started to walk around the edges of it, and I realized it's just kind of a. It's nice. There's some definite. Some scenery, but there's more. Like some of the stuff around. It's better. I don't know. I don't want to wreck the image I've already got. You know, it's the curly factor from City Slickers. You know, he had the love of his life and he never talked to her because he already made it. What it was just looking at her. He go, why ruin it? And then Billy Crist. Yeah. But you could have been. It could have been for you. It would have been like, great. It already is. And then he rides off. It's like, oh, that perspectives. Even better to just accept what you feel about it and don't. Don't get too far in. I don't know. It's a. It's a tough one. I.

[Brady]

Check it out. If I. I mean, I had opportunity two years ago. Just couldn't.

[John Holmberg]

To go to the Masters.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It would be neat. But I don't know. It's something I don't. I no longer want to. Again, the crowd.

[Brady]

What I hear is, you know, they go. Go Wednesday and Thursday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just to go see it. It just seems like it would just like it would be tainted. Like, TV does such a good job of making it perfect that I wouldn't want it to be flawed. I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to risk, you know, staining it in any way at all. Have a bad experience at all on tv. I can't. It's always great, especially if you've got Margot Robbie and Brett and I are pulling Eiffel Towers over there instead of watching boring ass golf. But it is. You don't even need the golfers. The golfers. I don't care about a golf. Whatever that course is just. It's stunning. At least on tv. It shows on tv really?

[Brett]

Well, that's a lot of things, though. Like you said, Taj Mahal. Don't leave the Vegas strip and see what it's like.

[John Holmberg]

Don't meet your heroes. Yeah, that's the big thing. It's like, you know, and we do that all the time. It's, you know, you see somebody you've seen on TV a billion times, they come in the studio and they're. They're short, they're dirty, they stink. It's like, oh, no, it's just ruining it. You get backstage with a band you've always admired and you find out they're dicks. It's like, oh, no, no, no. I don't like this. This needs to stay always pristine to me. And that was my fault for digging around. But I do like the idea of, you know, three of my three. Three great friends golfing at Masters or just a free for all with your world choice. I mean, that's easy. Three straight night. And that's the thing, you know, around.

[Brady]

That's way more attainable.

[John Holmberg]

What, golf with the three friends? Yeah, I mean, hanging out with three dudes or Bone and Margot Robbie for three nights, it's not tough. Yeah, that's an easy decision. There's a lot of nice golf courses. I can close my eyes and play pretend I'm on the Masters course. Plus, they show it on TV all the time. I can watch that. I also. I was watching this. This article I was reading had me floored. One of the. There were twins that were having sex with Hugh Hefner, and they kept saying the whole article. They were making it his fault he was old and that they were having sex with him. They were like, ugh. We were his girlfriend and we had to have sex with him. They were twins and they're like, you know, it's like having sex with our grandfather was so weird. He groomed us. You did it? Yeah. Hugh Hefner. Yeah. He groomed. Like, you got. They got two cover shots on the center fold. And they were, like, making. And they're trying to make him a bad guy. And I'm like, you were. You were in Playboy. Like, you wanted to be in Playboy really bad. And they kept the quote, kept saying, oh, they grew up. They grew up in Florida. They were 18 when they caught Hefner's eye. They. They moved to LA and lived with the publisher, who was 83. And on their 19th birthday, Hefner said they didn't realize what they'd gotten themselves into. On their 19th birthday, they're like. He said, come with me. They were summoned into his bedroom, and he gave him a pill they took. And they said, we were so high, we didn't even know what was going on. At Secrets of Playboy, it's called. They compared. They had a threesome. Their sisters, by the way, had a threesome with the old man and then complained. It's like, it was so gross. So the next time we did it, like, wait a minute. Oh, hold on. You can't keep having sex with this guy. So then I'm like, they're young. Like, they're in their 30s. They're 34 now. And I'm looking at this, I'm like, they were. That was only 15, 16 years ago, he died. Had to be 14 or 15. Like, this was right before he died.

[Brady]

Yeah, but. And I thought he was. Wasn't he married? I. I don't know. But then he had kids.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't think any of that. You're talking like it's you. That's not a thing. Yeah. You're.

[Brady]

Wasn't someone else living in another mansion or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he had.

[Brady]

I don't know what.

[John Holmberg]

Kimberly or something. Kim Hefner had the place. And then he. Well, not the Dom. Triplets, but the girlfriends he had, you know, Kendra and the one that looks like the zoo lady.

[Brett]

Holly.

[John Holmberg]

Holly. And then the goofy looking. Yeah, yeah. No, those three were up in the room a lot. They were the girlfriends, and that was a show. So. Yeah. It wasn't like he was like, oh, I couldn't possibly. I'm Hugh Hefner, and I. Yeah. Says. I believe that Hef would prey on young girls. No, they came from bad backgrounds, she said, or the girls who were not so pretty. He could promise them surgeons, which were all over the place. They claimed they got drunk every night. Brady. And they could. They had. And that's the only way they could stomach sex with him. They both Caught chlamydia also. And then going back to tell him that was awful. One of them got pregnant because Hugh wouldn't use protection. All of this was his fault. Somehow or another, they're like, did they ever take it upon themselves to go, maybe? My quest to be in Playboy 15 years ago, by the way, when it was done might have been kind of stupid?

[Brett]

That's some personal responsibility, right?

[Brady]

Well, I mean, he's, you know, using his leverage. He's a powerful man. He's got something that they want. That's exactly. I mean, it's very Harvey Weinstein.

[John Holmberg]

Harvey was promising things and not delivering. He was giving them stuff. They're on the COVID of his failing magazine at that point. He's, you know, they're getting centerfolds. They got a free place to live. I mean, if Harvey. Look, there's a lot of people that didn't tell on Harvey, right? That got what he got, what he promised. The ones that didn't were, like, already successful, and he's still trying to rape him. Like, you're looking at Charlize Theron going, no, you're out of your mind. I'm successful already. I don't need you this way. I can ruin your career. He's like, go ahead and try. Yeah, he told us that if we loved him and we wanted to be his girlfriends, then you have to have sex with him. Problem is, he hates protection. After we got our STIs, we promised each other we'd never sleep with him again. Fast forward a little bit later. The one discovered she was pregnant. She's still doing it. Should get rid of that sister of hers. She never told half that she got rid of his baby, which I'm sure he was fine with that you weren't. You act like you were the first ones, but they act like they're uncovering this big secret on Playboy. Like, did you know that Hugh Hefner had sex with these models in the mansion and then promised him stuff and gave it to them, like, multiple times? I was getting ready to turn 20, Carissa said. And I didn't want him to know that I had been pregnant. And I didn't want to have it. I was stuck in a bubble. You couldn't leave. You had to stay. Because the only place you had with money, food, you lived in a mansion. You could. It seems great. John holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD.

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[John Holmberg]

53342 Holmberg's Morning Sickness if bone and an 83 year old got me residence Jesus at the castle on Camelback. Guess what I'm doing? I'm. I'm blowing an 83 year old's noodle I' all day for free housing. People do that in Maryvale just to have like a 400 square foot space.

[Brett]

Look at Stedman.

[John Holmberg]

Steadman's been blowing Oprah for 40 years. He's a genius.

[Brett]

Big Mike.

[John Holmberg]

Does anyone feel sorry for for she had the death for Playmates. Oh, Big Mike. Yeah. Obama's been blowing Big Mike for a long time just to keep things quiet. I don't know that anyone's ever going to feel sorry for a playmate who boned Hugh Hefner and said it was awful. It was so weird having sex with that old man. Like no one made you do that.

[Brady]

Yeah, it wasn't like they're tied down in prison.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're 83 and you lived for free in a mansion in Holmby Hills. If you've even driven on that road. It's Charring Crossroad is what it's unreal to just whip around that neighborhood and it's, it's just super amazing. And they've Redone it since. But I can't imagine what was behind those bushes. When you even go buy the property, you're like, this thing's huge.

[Brady]

Friday and Saturdays you had access to Bill Maher, Tracy Morgan, all those celebrities.

[John Holmberg]

That you were boning that you didn't mention. And you're. I'm pregnant. But it was because Hugh Hefner bones me.

[Brady]

Love it.

[John Holmberg]

Lovitz had sex with Jon. Lovitz was having sex with people at Playboy Mansion a lot. He loved it over there. You were basically kind of like an acceptable prostitute. And the main dude that paid for your entire life was asking for one thing. Hey, occasionally fondle this little guy down here and help me out. And you and your sister, which is the grossest part of your story, you should keep this quiet. This is like a swastika on a penis. Me and my brother used to have sex with this girl. They're like, wait a second. That's. That was this scene from this White Lotus show. It's an incest moment. What are you talking about? You and your brother having sex at the same time for? She was crying and started to say, I didn't want anyone to know I had the devil inside me. I was pregnant with his baby. I just couldn't let anyone know I had an 83 year old man's baby in me. What are you doing it now for? She said it was his way of controlling me. I felt like I was on a leash. I was disgusted with my body. There was an alien inside of me. I was grossed out. I just needed everything to be over. But then I went down into that massive kitchen and the chef would make me a delicious breakfast. I'm like, okay, one more day.

[Brady]

I don't want to give this up.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be blowing that old man like crazy. Are you kidding? Find me. Remember Cliff Kingsbury's house over there in Paradise Valley and a blown cliff. He's a young, healthy dude. I don't let him have at me just for free house.

[Brady]

During the draft.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, this life changer loan thing I've discovered, you know, had come towards me. And my most amazing thing with home ownership, I've dealt with in a long time, maybe ever. But there's only one thing better than that. Blowing an old man and having him pay off everything for me. That sounds amazing. I'm not gonna. Maybe I'll feel sick about it later. But if you get rid of mortgages because some old man comes knocking on your door, blow me. I'll pay for your house. You keep it like you got it. Do that in a second, you'll never have another bill again. What do I have to do? Let me have at you. This is not gonna hurt. Okay? And then hilariously let some 83 year old Monty Burns figure roll around on me for a minute and I don't have a house payment. This is phenomenal.

[Brady]

Maybe that'll be your next endorsement.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be all over it. 83 year old life changer. Charlie Haig, life changer loan. 83 years old. I knock on doors and I've got billions of dollars. And I find young men who will blow me and I pay off their house. Where do I sign up? I'm going to call Shane o' Grady today. Life Changer Loan plus. And Shane will tell you you can do this. Pay off your place, average client, five years. Fantastic deal. You don't have to be tied to some bank loan for 20 years. We do have a second feature. Like. What's that? Option B. I can unleash this. Remember that old man from Texas Chainsaw Massacre? At the end, you gotta blow him.

[Brady]

He's near the end of his life.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's almost dying.

[Brady]

He wants to give up his fate.

[John Holmberg]

You don't get any extra responsibility. He just wants to pay off your house. And you never talk. Okay? And occasionally he pops up on a Saturday afternoon like an Alzheimer's patient. He's got to take him in, give him a mouth hug, choke it down, send him on his way.

[Brady]

It's the senior service plan.

[John Holmberg]

You get a silver to white alert, mop your face off and collect your check. I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? You know what I'd have done to live in that mansion the way you did. Out of the way, girls. You're doing it wrong here, Hugh. I know how this operation runs. I don't know anybody that would be stupid enough to say, I'm not gonna let you pay off my house for one old man blowjob.

[Brady]

See you next Wednesday, Mr. Homer. You're gonna take your deposit?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, completely. Yeah, Right here. I did my gag reflex removed. That dude would not know what hit him. They moved out of the mansion in 2010 and they wanted to tell their story because they haven't made any money for 13 years since the old man died.

[Brett]

And they stayed till the end. Or. Well, were they the last?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know when he died. When did he die?

[Brady]

Look at that up.

[John Holmberg]

Because it had to be pretty close.

[Brady]

September 2017.

[John Holmberg]

So they had. He had three more years left. When? Well, four when they moved out in 10, they probably dabbled a little bit.

[Brady]

Still seven years.

[John Holmberg]

He was 90 when he died. That's pretty good. Yeah, 91. He made it. That's pretty good stuff right there. Either way, you want to pay off somebody's house. The Hefner way is not so bad. I'm certainly not going to listen to you 10 years later tell me how horrible it was unless you're giving all the money back or, you know, I got an sti. Wait, you had unprotected sex with Hugh Hefner? Yeah, that came with it. So, pardon the pun. I couldn't believe it. I went to the doctor. Both my sister and I had sexually transmitted diseases. Well, that's what get when twins sleep with old. Pretty much named Hugh Hefner. You know, he was fairly active in the community of love making. I just couldn't believe it. And then I got pregnant. Right, because you're 19 and he's 83, and unprotected sex at 19 can lead to that. It was shocking. I just want the world to feel bad for me. Where do I sign up for your life?

[Brett]

These broads over with Charlie Sheen and all that stuff. It's like, you know what you're getting into.

[John Holmberg]

Charlie Sheen made me sign an NDA, and then we had sex and did drugs. Like that was what the NDA was for.

[Brett]

Read the fine print.

[John Holmberg]

Read that. Horrible stuff's about to happen in here. That's why you had to put your camera in a bag.

[Brady]

They moved out in 2010, and then Crystal Hefner stole his heart.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And, you know, he had some people in his life later. Later on, he had a couple of marriages. Either way, he. He was kind of known for this. I just. I can't imagine, like, doing the tour, and people will listen. And there was some lady in the interview going, this is terrible. What a monster. No. You guys did this.

[Brady]

They didn't have their out. They had. Yeah, there's an out. He said, no, I'm not doing that.

[John Holmberg]

Look, I was walking on the freeway and got hit by a car. Makes sense. I slept with Hugh Hefner unprotected, got pregnant in an sti. Same thing. I'm not going to feel sorry for either person. I can't believe I walked on the freeway and a car hit me. Now I can't walk. What were you doing on the freeway? Oh, I was just. I lived there for free. Yeah, that was where I'm. You're an idiot. But now they're trying to make Hugh hefner a bad guy after he dies. It's ridiculous. Silly these broads. And again, if you have a grandfather with a ton of money and you're gonna get some. And I was like, and all it takes is blowing this old man or an old lady. I'll slobber on that cable box for a little while and see if I can get a payment.

[Brett]

You just think about the kingpin scene.

[John Holmberg]

I would do it with that landlord. There you go. The landlord from. He did that just to pay. To pay a month's worth of ren. Yeah. Knock something loose in there, tiger. Of course you'd do it. You want to pay off the next six months? I'm considering it. Brett, you just got a new place.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Some old man knocks on your door.

[Brett]

And says, you want to come on down.

[John Holmberg]

You pardon the pun, but come on down. Fact. Anyway, it's just weird. People are weird. Yesterday I told you guys that I was in a bit of a pickle. I had online One attractor or I was in a drawing to win a tractor. I had already won the generator.

[Brett]

I'd seen the John Deere in the parking lot when I rolled him.

[John Holmberg]

I don't believe I've won the tractor, but the generator is on the way.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Got the email confirming that yesterday that the generator that I've won from tractor supply company. Somehow from having never visited their site ever, I have won a generator. Legit now. Also had to cancel my. My Visa card yesterday because of a fraudulent charges.

[Brett]

No, no.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Totally unrelated, but it was just. It seemed to springboard right off of me giving the tractor supply company people the shipping and handling of $13.75. And suddenly bank of America is calling me going, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Did you use this account for these three charges? And I'm like, yes, I did. That's legitimate. This one, I don't know. And then that one's also like, you know what? It looks like your card's been compromised. And I'm like, when? Because it was. It was not from the tractor win or the tractor sweepstakes that I had been somehow entered into.

[Brady]

That's pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

That generator being shipped for $13 on its way. Be here, I believe. Really Good Friday. I know, I know. That's really good. All I had to pay was that a processing fee. I'm not even paying shipping and handling.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

Just a processing fee. 1375. And I'll have that generator in house. Of course. I'm getting a new card from bank of America that's being delivered today, but in a totally new account, so I had to do some shuffling yesterday. It's all right. Not a scam. Not a scam. And I'm still in the drawing. And it is a Kubota for the tractor. So I don't know who entered me in this thing, but I'm winning. This was your joke on me or you decided to put my email address down? I won the generator. God damn it.

[Brett]

Can't wait to see that bright and shiny generator on Friday when you bring it in.

[John Holmberg]

Look, it won't be the first guy in the show who has a generator floating around. Yeah, I'm getting that jealous.

[Brett]

Well, we'll see.

[Brady]

It could be like mine too.

[John Holmberg]

He's got one invisible.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No. It's coming. John Holmberg's morning sickness the 98 spring.

[Larry McFeely]

Is in full swing now and summer is right around the corner. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And there's no better time to hit the trails, the lakes and those wide open desert roads in a brand new Toyota. Whether you're hauling gear to Roosevelt Lake and the powerful Toyota Tundra, navigating rocky trails in the rugged Tacoma, or exploring Sedona in The all new 4Runner, Toyota's got the muscle and comfort to match your most excellent adventures. Head to your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com today and gear up for summer in a ride that's built for the heat and the adventures. Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[Brett]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at MMP guns.com.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness charge went through.

[Brady]

Mine is too.

[John Holmberg]

I know it isn't. I talked to bank of America when I had when I talked to the fraudulent charge department yesterday about 4 o' clock and and I said this top charge is this, is this a Red Flag, the tractor supply company. And he goes, no, that's legitimate operation. And I'm like, oh, fantastic, Kevin from.

[Brett]

Discover Card and started laughing at you when you called in.

[John Holmberg]

No. He said, no. And he had a wonderful American accent. Well, no, I didn't talk to him. No, I was talking to the bank of America guy. Never mind. I haven't talked to anybody from Tractor Supply yet. But my card was compromised elsewhere. There have been no charges. But he said, it looks like this card's been compromised through streaming services, which has happened. This is now the fifth time that my. My accounts have been signing for Jerk Made again. No, it's not. No, not that.

[Brett]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Candy I.com bastards. You have a girls that talk about flying around the world, but no, I don't have that. But I'm just saying, like Netflix. I've had Netflix where you try to get on there and you're like, oh, it's asking for my password again. And then you go there and your username is like, dip daughter Pooja Dang 5615. Like, wait a second. And then you got a call and say, hey, somebody swiped my Netflix account. He goes, yeah, that's in Mumbai. You're gonna have to switch all your cards. Whatever I was paying with, they've got it. I'm like, okay, so I've had. This will be the fifth time now that this awesome new technology of tv, the way it works now, which is so much better than the old way. Somehow just because people under the age of 30 tell you you're old, if you don't like it, this new TV way sucks, 100% sucks. You got credit cards all over the place. Yeah, it's all Internet based, which is already happening too much. And there's zero safeguards at all. I've had my Netflix account cracked three times. Two times I had to change my credit card. That meant I had to go back and change my credit card on all the other streaming services. The other one that got hit was Paramount Plus. That's the one that went down once and they got my card through that. Hulu got hit once. They were worried. They probably have your information. This is not a better system. It's just. It's big, clunky, clumsy mess of.

[Brady]

And they have services to let you know of the services that you have that you might not know.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Yeah. Then you got to pay another company to tell you what you may have signed up for accidentally. That they'll tell you, we can get you out of this. I pay $10 a month to Rocket Money to make sure that the things that I've signed up for that I'm familiar, that I know all the things I'm paying for, it's impossible to keep up. I've been getting double charged for, like, three different apps. No clue how. So I went back, and the cool thing about Rocket Money is they go back and they're like, we'll get it back to you. And they did. For one of them, it was Philo. I had double accounts on Filo and something else that I had that I didn't even know. Some orange one that I. I don't remember ever signing up for that. And that was charged. And I'm like, I don't have this and I. I only have one Philo. So they went back like a year and got my money back for me, which is cool. But I could. You can't see, like, you see these charges? There's just so many of them. But yeah. So, Brett, I know you're smugly smirking and smiling. We'll see.

[Brady]

There.

[John Holmberg]

I swear to God, I'm gonna tear your whole house down. All right. Just because of that face you made. My new orange Kubota.

[Brett]

You and Casper the Friendly Ghost gonna be riding shotgun with you or what?

[John Holmberg]

It is not. It is not. I'm bringing. I'm gonna wave that thing over my head like a chainsaw.

[Brett]

I hope you do.

[John Holmberg]

When that generator shows up, I'm gonna power the building with it. You're gonna call me during summer storms. You've got an extra generator, don't you? I'm like, extra. No, I don't remember.

[Brett]

I'll borrow one from Brady.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say, casper, I got you. Casper and I are watching tv. You can't use my generator. This might be bigger than the lottery. This might be a win. Bigger than the lottery.

[Brett]

Yeah, I gonna win that next week maybe.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't sign up for this. Somebody jokingly put my name and email address down and I want a generator. I have never. I don't know what a tractor supply company sells outside of tractors. I had no idea. I've never once signed. I visited the website where I put my information in. I don't know that I've ever visited tractor supply company's website, but I am a finalist for a tractor and I've already won the 3500 watt generator. That's outstanding work. Now, I'm not smart enough to understand what that powers or even how it works. I don't know how to attach that thing like Right.

[Brady]

You just can plug a couple of things into it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you plug into that, right? Yeah.

[Brady]

Like, it's not like power goes out in your house.

[John Holmberg]

What do I. Yeah, and then you got to have it in your house. Right.

[Brady]

You can have it outside, run extension cords in, and you can have a couple lamps.

[Brett]

Oh, you're so going to die. I hope it comes with a CO detector. Carbon monoxide, 3,500 watts.

[John Holmberg]

I would never actually fire it up for fear of that. Like, I don't know. I'll just sit in the dark. This won't last that long. Like, how bad is. Has it gotten that I need the generator for days and days, and I have no idea. Like, you plug into the thing. It doesn't plug into your electrical box.

[Brady]

No, you have to get the one that attach the emergency generator. They wire it to your house. Like the backup. Like, we have it in this building.

[John Holmberg]

So I would take out.

[Brady]

Power goes out.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that makes sense.

[Brady]

It turns the generator. Backup generator on.

[John Holmberg]

But I have, like, all my TVs. That's really all I'd care about.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I unplug in one tv, I have an entire setup through one deal. It all plugs into that.

[Brady]

Able to handle that? It'll be 33, 35 hundred.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It all depends on how many amps that requires.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. But I would try. I would plug that in, and Brett's right. I would blow it up.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But I got two generators, so whichever one is strong.

[Brady]

Because I was on a camping trip one time, and there's one generator, and it was really cold, and there's only, like, 30amps, and people had four, 10 heaters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And it would pop. Had to get up four times during the night.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'll end up killing myself. But it's free, so it doesn't matter. And I won it. I won a major award. Brett, that home bird name sticks telling you right there.

[Brett]

Free.

[John Holmberg]

Call it what you will. I'm running more on the luck than anything else. This is outstanding. You guys keep signing me up for stuff. I highly recommend you go to Restoration Hardware and get me involved in one of their contests. They got great patio stuff. I could use that. But if you need, like, an email and you don't want to get bothered, [e-mail] is phenomenal. And I will open it on my company email, even though they tell me you're not allowed to do that. Look what it got me. You know that. You know why Jenny and the crew. Yeah, it Pays. That's why. That's exactly why we have that whole department saying don't open emails. You don't understand. Let us do it because they're stealing all the generators.

[Brady]

Call me the fisherman.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm fishing baby. They call it fishing because sometimes you catch something. Don't open emails you don't recognize. We'll do it. We're up here in Minnesota. The big wigs, the Bob's and I have all your, you know, don't open.

[Brett]

Your emails and tractors.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they're just up there running around in free tractors and generators like crazy because they've been hiding it from us.

[Brady]

Checks coming from Africa. Inherited.

[John Holmberg]

I'm opening all of them. It doesn't mean I'm acting on all of it, but I'm opening all of them. Screw you Internet. IT jerks up there in Minnesota telling us not to open our own emails. We'll do it. We've got this covered. Fishing sites can ruin the entire thing. Well, I guess that keeps you in business.

[Brett]

More training for us.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I won't do that because that'll be the one time I'm like. Every time I see an email that says phishing test, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna pass this by not opening that.

[Brady]

Watch the email come out if anyone gets something from Tractor Supply.

[John Holmberg]

Too late. I got something. A generator. Screw you. I know what you guys are up to. My company's stealing from me. They're going through all those things that they told me not to open and they're just cashing in. It's like deal dash for them. Garbage. It's bull. There's a reason why your company has those. Here's what we teach you. Here's the emails not to. Of course they're going to take advantage of that. These sweepstakes that come your way. Ignore them. Will handle it. Uh huh huh. Well I just want a generator and I bet you there's an email. Looks like somebody want a gener. This guy says I want a thousand dollars for of Dremel tools. I don't remember entering this, although I have shopped at Tractor Supply. Conspiracy theorist in me thinks there's some sort of marketing scheme to gain customers, but I got it. They didn't ask for credit card information. Didn't cost me anything. So I'm getting my Dremel in the garage right now. That's really. Look, if Tractor Supply company keeps handing out free stuff through email, I'll take it.

[Brett]

Crandall wants me to thank you for. For him. He's enjoying the new barbecue steaks and the new Curve T. We didn't even have to blow you.

[John Holmberg]

It's easy. Nothing to it said something similar happened to my mom 15 years ago. We lived in Indiana and she won $500 Walmart shopping spree in Kentucky. They gave it to her. We never went to Kentucky to do it. I think sometimes you just win. And everybody's got you so afraid that it's a scam that you turn away.

[Brady]

Well, you know, you go through it and then at the end sometimes there's like now you need to sign up for this in order to win the prize. Or there's only just one.

[John Holmberg]

Once it becomes a hassle, I'm out. But once I get that generator, tractor supply company and I probably never talk again unless they start handing me free. That's a good way to make friends. You want to talk about a great marketing campaign? Find a guy who's never once shopped at your store and give him a generator. That is a fast track of making me a loyal customer. Brilliant. It's brilliant. So to tractor supply company. I tip my cap. Geniuses. Let's just email people who've never been here and give them stuff. And you find a radio show. Number one radio show in the city. Talking tractor supply company. They've spent no money. They're just handing me free stuff. I think that's illegal, but I'll take it. No problem with that. Look, I'll take free generators and blowing old men for a thousand. Alex, this is an easy day. What would you rather do? Brett pays off your whole mortgage. You gotta oral on an old lady till she finishes. Or slob around an old fella? Some reason the old man seems easier. Like I feel like her stuff shuts down and turns into like some sort of. You know, like when you have chicken and the thing too long and that gelatinous weirdness in the bottom when you pick up the chicken. It's got that weird jello. I have a feeling that's what an old lady's junk looks like. I'll never know because I'm never gonna look at one of those. But an old man's pee pee. Pretty much the same. I think I go in the old man.

[Brett]

You're twinking.

[John Holmberg]

I think. I don't think it even counts as twinking if he's.

[Brett]

It does it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it does. If he's over 80, it's a crank. It's like sucking a pillow. Like eating a mitten. I don't think it counts. John holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD.

[Brett]

Hey, Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in, in stock and ready to ship.

[Brett]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Brett]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.com all right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google. Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand Up Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Just put a mouthful of Werther's in and go to town.

[John Holmberg]

You just reach over to their table and take some of their hard candies, and the only thing in your mouth that'll be hard is the candy. But the old lady, she can emit. Well, you're so close to that thing. Yeah, I don't know. The back door's there. She can start draining. I'm not interested in that. I think.

[Brady]

I think the old man can't drain.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I understand his drain.

[Brett]

Yeah, Gotta move his colostom.

[John Holmberg]

His makes sense. Well, if he's got a colostomy bag, there's a totally different back end. No. Something about that I can avoid. There's a stopper. There's a hanging down stopper, and it's bigger than ever.

[Brett]

Is it like a toilet? The stopper inside the toilet?

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

As you're working the front, he's got that giant protection shield that's down to his knees now. I don't know what she's got going on. I've watched some old lady stuff on Pornhub, and I think after the age of 70, I'm gay. I don't think I want to see anybody's 70 year old vagina. They're already kind of ugly. Old man's balls. I got those. I'm familiar with them, I know how they work. Yeah, I think once I turn 70, I'm swapping out. If I make it to 70, I'm going gay because the last thing I want to see is a 70 year old vagina.

[Brett]

I'm still going though the old lady. Make it look like the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

[John Holmberg]

Not going in there.

[Brett]

That's fine.

[John Holmberg]

It's gonna smell like it. Probably been underwater for a long time.

[Brady]

Name will still be on it. That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. I'd ask Brady, but I already know, so no reason to worry about that. Damn it, John.

[Brett]

I was about to eat breakfast. Thanks.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it's just hypotheticals, you guys stuff to think about. I, I'm after 70, I'm gay. I've seen 70 year old women not attracted to them.

[Brady]

Bro, I don't know why you're waiting so long.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know there's some guys out there.

[Brady]

Time comes, leads to some man's jungle.

[John Holmberg]

Everyone, hey look, you're paying off my.

[Brady]

House scenarios always go to yeah, hey.

[John Holmberg]

Look, you pay off my house, the scenario is going to be yeah, you're right, I think after 70 I'm gay. I'm not attracted to old women at all. I'm pretty sure of that. I don't think it's.

[Brady]

I just saw an article with sexual.

[John Holmberg]

At all at that point. That's why men stop.

[Brady]

Diane Cannon, 88 years old. Yeah, she was saying she still has a couple of friends with benefits.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's counting every time that nurse comes and wipes her thighs. That's that sex for her. No thanks. 88 and there would be a couple of like exceptions to the rule. There's always going to be an outlier, but for the most part. 99 of women over the age of 60, 75.

[Brady]

Drescher says the same thing. She's friends with benefits.

[John Holmberg]

How old is she?

[Brady]

She's pushing in her 70s, I think.

[John Holmberg]

And she maybe 67. Yeah, she's still got a couple good years left.

[Brett]

Oh, that voice though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I might go gay. I'm gay. Oh God, so hot. It's so hot. Do you have a brother? Oh God, so hot. The whole family's awful.

[Brett]

Great. Irving's.

[John Holmberg]

Oh Christ. Threshers having an orgasm.

[Brett]

Oh, can you imagine that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think I've come to that conclusion. Mark it down. 7:29am, April 9, 2025. After 70, I'm homosexual. Like full blown. Like there is no that might dabble, but it would have to be something special. I'd rather hang out with just some old guys golfing. I think that's why guys do that. They get men's clubs when they're older and golf all day. Want to be around, gotta fill your time. I don't wanna be around the woman anymore. Her usefulness died a few years ago. I don't want to see that again anyway. And I'm sure women probably feel the same way about us. We get grocers, we get old too. Nothing about being old is good. It's not attractive. So I don't want to hear these 19 year old playmates complaining about Hugh Hefner's body. I was like, Kevin, thanks for the grandfather. Yeah, he's 83. It was actually like having sex with your great grandfather, you moron. Thought you had a free house out of it. So I don't want to hear you complain.

[Brett]

Yeah, John, if you go on gay at 70, you better get that injection in your butthole. I don't have to get him bottom out.

[John Holmberg]

I don't have to hold with this. With an old man again, it's like putting a sock in there. It's not. North in his 70s and he's retired. Well, as far as we know professionally. And you know why? You don't have sex with ladies of his age bracket.

[Brett]

Oh, that's gross.

[John Holmberg]

They break hips. They get osteoporosis in their 60s and stuff and you got to worry about busting their legs.

[Brett]

He's 67.

[John Holmberg]

He's still. Yeah, he's still good. I'm surprised. He's just not. He doesn't look like a. Like a Baked Lays like that dude's got to be so dehydrated. I've never seen more fluid come out of a human being in my life. Anyway, I got a free generator and a, you know, a little life change somewhere in there this morning. Thanks for hearing me out, guys. I appreciate it.

[Brett]

Dude still looks good for his age.

[John Holmberg]

Now. Peter north is. He's lived a good life.

[Brady]

Played golf with him last Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Peter North.

[Brady]

That's what it said on the foursome. It was Brady Bogan and Peter North. Oh my God, fourth name. And that's what the guy put down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wasn't he was a joke.

[Brady]

Yeah, I thought maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Captain Hilarious.

[Brady]

And it wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you'd have known. That's like meeting A beetle. I'd have been washing his balls all day for him. There you go, sir. Here's the next title. Well, when you turn 70, it's on, man. I don't know if I would go for the. Yeah, it's gross. Yeah, 70 plus is gross. All 70 year old bodies plus are disgusting. Nothing you can do about it. I mean, 60 is not good. Most people. Most people are gross their whole lives. Like there's only like 10% of the population that looks good anyway. You start aging it. No thanks. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Brett]

I don't know. After that Wake up song, I'm not wrong.

[John Holmberg]

The reason you're upset about is because you're thinking about it. Think about it.

[Brett]

Now give me the Ebb and Fitzgerald. No way.

[John Holmberg]

There's no. That's gross. I find that grosser than an old man's penis and old ladies.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the gray and the pink. It's just bad color scheme.

[Brett]

Is it still pink at that point?

[John Holmberg]

No, probably not. Even worse.

[Brady]

Not in the dark.

[John Holmberg]

Probably looks like a steak. You're not so sure you can still eat. I don't know. It's no longer red, kind of gray.

[Brett]

Sorry, Josh, but the Wake Up Song is brought to you by Action Ride Shop. Now's the time to pedal away from them old ladies. And nothing better to do that on than a brand new Pivot bike. Or Santa Cruz or Rocky Mountain E bike, whatever. Action Ride shops got you dialed in at two very good locations. A brand new one up there, it's really cool. On Power Road, McDowell if you haven't made it up there, right by the H trailhead. And of course the original right there on Gilbert Road. And Southern Action rideshop.com they are going to get you dialed in. And on the list, Brian Adams cuts like a knife from our earlier subject this morning.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, look, I'm with you on this one, John. Difference between an old man, old woman with that seepage thing you were talking about is that with a man there's a mud flap. That's right. It's like Yosemite Sam's hanging in between the spaces. The lady doesn't have that. You get mud all over yourself. Keep thinking about these things.

[Brett]

Yeah, they could be on the mud flap, though. That's what mud flaps are for. Don't get that mud right on your nose.

[John Holmberg]

You're going down. It's like when your dog steps. You go get. You go get a wet washcloth cloth and you just rub it off. Yeah, that's easier to clean. Oh, you can't. Back to front. The old lady. It's all bad. The old ladies thing's a mess. Oh, no. Yeah, I'm post 70 homosexual. I'm all for that.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'll just put them on.

[John Holmberg]

Like.

[Brett]

You'Re going to angry crab or something.

[John Holmberg]

It's ironic. He'll eat anything. Yuck. Sorry, Josh.

[Brett]

All right. Brian Adams cuts like a knife from our surgery talk this morning. Five finger death punch. Mom said knock you off. For Henry back. Loser for the Phoenix Suns. Boy falling in reverse. The warning machine Head. Van Halen Offspring. Gojira soil halo for those broads that were banging Hefner thinking they're angels now. And body count. There goes the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

For my neighborhood. Because Henry moved in from Maryvale and brought his UFC belts. And now everybody's over there, there. I don't mind that he's down one. Well, I don't care how many he's down. I'm down a neighborhood that didn't have people breaking into houses, stealing UFC belts. I don't care about him being down anything. What about me? His story's not even interesting. Now it's all about us, the neighborhoods. Like, thanks for.

[Brady]

Maybe they can do a story interviewing you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hey, when did Maryville. When did Maryvale show up? This used to be. And now I got the news here every couple days because of him.

[Brett]

John's gonna have 110 spoke Daytons on his Jeep tomorrow just to fit into his neighborhood now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I gotta. I gotta build a fence.

[Brady]

You're like one of those ladies about on the neighborhood app.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm not. Well, look, here's the thing.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, gotta get on that thing.

[John Holmberg]

Finally I'm right, though. Like, those old ladies are all wrong. This one's correct. Like I waited for stuff to actually happen. Keep in mind, in my cul de sac, one of the houses doesn't fight back. Just start there and we'll work our way over. Let me just let you know, you will get pushback in certain areas from my neighbors, but not in the crime area. They do push back from all rumors, but that's the one I'd start with in my cul de sac. Work your way over the other one. I don't think they've got any AR15s laying around. I have a couple usually within arm's reach at this point since Maryvale moved in. Henry, we need to hang out. Henry and I need to go around and be the guardian angels. The knuckle cops just walking around, looking for trouble.

[Brady]

You got the shift? You got the schedule?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, I could do it all day. Yeah, it's great. And I'm overnighting. Yeah, that's great. No bike ride last night? It was great. Middle of middle night, so much fun. Nobody out there could have seen some crimes at Henry's house. I'm going to get arrested just living my new schedule. Just because Henry's got the whole neighborhood on watch, I got to go over and knock on a store and say, hey, you need to get a little of this Maryvale thing tamed. There goes the neighborhood. I'm with you. All right, we'll do a little body count. My hood's on the news every day. Same guy. He's a hero one day, he's a victim the next. I don't like this at all. Oh, it's body count. It's 98k upd. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and we're talking to you about reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black self defense training. You know all about it by now. Get in great shape. Learn stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Prepare for a life you just can't prepare for until you start doing the work. And right now the price is unbeatable. Two months of personal training right there. Hands on react defense self defense system. It is 199 bucks for too much. You're not getting that anywhere else and all you have to do is go to reactdefense.com the home of Tactical Black.

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