04-10-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Summary of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona" Podcast Episode (April 10, 2025)

Podcast Information:

• Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
• Host: John Holmberg
• Collaborators: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
• Station: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio
• Description: As Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, Holmberg's Morning Sickness seeks to entertain, question, and provoke its listeners with engaging discussions and humorous takes on various topics.

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Main Discussion: The One-Armed Man at Suns Games

Timestamp: [02:15] – [17:45]

The episode delves deeply into the phenomenon of a one-armed man who has become a recurring figure at Phoenix Suns basketball games. Host John Holmberg introduces the topic, leading to an animated discussion among the hosts about societal perceptions and stereotypes surrounding individuals with disabilities.

Key Points:

• Repetition and Curiosity: The one-armed man consistently attends Suns games accompanied by stunning women, sparking curiosity and assumptions among attendees and listeners alike.

• Stereotypes and Assumptions: Hosts express frustration over the automatic assumptions that the man's ability to attract beautiful women must be due to factors like wealth or enhanced physical attributes.

• Challenging Biases: The conversation highlights the bias that questions how a person with a disability can maintain such relationships, emphasizing the unfairness of not considering personal charisma or personality traits.

• Listener Interactions: Several listener emails and calls are read, featuring stories and observations about the one-armed man, reinforcing the recurring theme of societal judgment.

Notable Quotes:

• Dale Hellstrayer: "It's kind of bigoted to assume the one-armed man couldn't pull off beautiful women."

• Listener Email: "The one-armed man is a legend at Suns games, always with an absolutely stunning woman."

• John Holmberg: "Why can't he just be a charming, fun, good dude? Why not?"

Societal Perceptions of Relationships Involving Disabilities

Timestamp: [17:45] – [35:16]

Building upon the main discussion, the hosts explore broader themes related to how society views and judges relationships involving individuals with disabilities.

Key Points:

• Double Standards: The hosts argue that similar assumptions are not typically made about other physical attributes, such as weight, highlighting a double standard in societal judgment.

• Impact on Amputees: The conversation underscores how these biases affect individuals with disabilities, making them feel that there's always something "wrong" that compensates for their physical limitations.

• Personal Reflections: Hosts share personal anecdotes and reflect on their own biases, acknowledging the need for changing perspectives.

Notable Quotes:

• Dale Hellstrayer: "It's a sad statement of how women see us. They don't consider the person's inherent qualities."

• John Holmberg: "He's got a winning personality and that's what people should see."

Discussions on Restaurant Health Violations and Airbnb Privacy Concerns

Timestamp: [35:16] – [85:08]

In addition to the main topic, the podcast touches upon issues related to restaurant health inspections and privacy concerns with short-term rentals like Airbnb.

Restaurant Health Violations:

• Dirty Dining Reports: The hosts discuss various health violations found in local restaurants, such as moldy bread, improper cooking temperatures, and unsanitary conditions.

• Impact on Patronage: These discussions serve as informal reviews, advising listeners to avoid establishments with poor health standards.

Airbnb Privacy Concerns:

• Hidden Cameras: A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the presence of hidden cameras in Airbnb rentals, emphasizing the invasion of privacy and potential for misuse.

• Listener Experiences: Hosts and listeners share unsettling stories about discovering unauthorized surveillance in rented properties, highlighting the risks associated with short-term rentals.

Notable Quotes:

• Dale Hellstrayer: "If you find cameras in a rental, it's a violation of privacy and grounds for immediate action."

• Listener Story: "Someone found a camera disguised as a smoke detector in their Airbnb. It's horrifying."

Sports Disappointment: Focusing on the Phoenix Suns

Timestamp: [85:08] – [121:56]

A substantial segment of the podcast is dedicated to expressing disappointment with the Phoenix Suns' performance, labeling the current season as the most disappointing in the team's history.

Key Points:

• High Expectations vs. Performance: Despite significant financial investments and high-profile players, the Suns have failed to meet expectations, leading to frustration among fans.

• Comparisons to Other Teams: The hosts compare the Suns' struggles to other local sports teams, emphasizing that no other team in Phoenix has experienced such a low ebb in performance.

• Calls for Organizational Change: Frustration extends to the team's management and coaching staff, with suggestions that a complete overhaul is necessary to restore the team's competitiveness.

Notable Quotes:

• Dale Hellstrayer: "This is by far the most disappointing sports season Phoenix has ever seen."

• Brady Bogen: "If they imploded the team, would you still renew your season tickets? I already did. No issue with that."

• Dale Hellstrayer: "They're costing me too much money with no return in pleasure or success."

Miscellaneous Topics: Food Critiques, Fitness, and Technology Concerns

Timestamp: [121:56] – [181:04]

The latter part of the episode ranges across various topics, including food critiques, fitness discussions, and concerns about technology and privacy.

Food Critiques:

• Exotic Meats: Hosts express disgust over the preparation and presentation of exotic meats like lamb's head and frog legs in local restaurants.

• Cereal Preferences: A humorous yet controversial discussion ensues around eating cereal out of someone's posterior, used as a metaphor for overstepping personal boundaries.

Fitness and Health:

• Core Institute Promotion: A segment promoting the Core Institute, which specializes in pain management and physical health.

• Self-Care Practices: Conversations touch upon personal hygiene and health habits, albeit in a humorous and exaggerated manner.

Technology and Privacy:

• AI and Data Sharing: Brief mentions caution against sharing sensitive information with AI chatbots like ChatGPT, emphasizing the risks of data breaches and privacy invasions.

Notable Quotes:

• Dale Hellstrayer: "Caution what you share with AI chatbots; don't give them your passwords or Social Security number."

• Brady Bogen: "It's pretty cool, actually," repeatedly interjecting in conversations to shift or lighten the mood.

Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

Timestamp: [181:04] – End

As the episode winds down, the hosts engage in lighthearted banter and finalize the show's segments with promotions and humorous exchanges.

Key Points:

• Promotions: Brief advertisements are interspersed throughout, promoting local businesses and services like MMP Guns and All Pro Shade Concepts.

• Humor and Light-Heartedness: The hosts maintain a comedic tone, engaging in playful and sometimes irreverent discussions to entertain listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• Dale Hellstrayer: "That's it for us. Dale, thanks for coming in."

• John Holmberg: "We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?"

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Conclusion: This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of serious discussion on societal biases and privacy concerns, intertwined with humorous and often provocative banter. The conversation around the one-armed man at Suns games serves as a central theme, prompting reflection on how society perceives and judges individuals with disabilities. Supplementing this are various tangents that keep the show lively and engaging for its Arizona-based audience.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it and you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you. All this for the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years. Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, DeWalt and more. They also specialize in tool repair including hydraulics like Burndy and commercial electric contractor tools as well as having a state of the art on site glove testing facility. Visit Fisher Tools in store or [e-mail] and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order. Fisher Tools brands you know, service you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

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[Big Dick Toledo]

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[Dale Hellstrayer]

Amco does more than just transmissions, right? Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell or even think you.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Have a car issue, call Amco first.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Just Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and.

[Brett]

A whole lot more.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

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[Brady]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It's John here. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett. It's big Dick Toledo. That. It's the morning sickness. 5:47. We made Brett go get soda pops before, so we were a little late. We had to. We had to kill it. We had to kill an extra minute trying to figure out how to get the time right. If Brett's not here right on time.

[John Holmberg]

We'd have might have been on by nine if we'd done Thriller.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, Thriller. Yeah. We can't.

[Brady]

We can.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

We learned our lesson in sending Thriller to any of that stuff. It can't happen ever again. Can never happen again. I got a. Right off the bat, I got an email. I was dying laughing because it's what we were talking about sons again last night. What a. What a wonderful. What a wonderful product that is. Just a great time going to those Suns games. You got to take fun people. I went with the disgraced Dr. Jordan Last. Last night. He was a former. He's a. He's the only doctor in the history of doctoring that got out of it because it just wasn't paying enough. He could, you know, he had to go do something else. Disgrace. Dr. Jordan's fun. So we went to the game, but I got an email from a guy right away that says, hey, Holmberg, did you see. What the hell is this? Not working for. Says, did you see at the Suns game last night the one armed man and his outrageously hot girlfriend? Dude made me want to chop my arm off. My girlfriends have never been as hot as hers. I've seen one armed man at Suns games before and he is always, always with an absolutely stunning woman. He's legendary. The one armed man at the Suns games, he used to sit closer to my seats about 12, 15 rows up last night. And recently when I've seen the one armed man, he's been down closer to the floor. So I don't know what he does for a living. I don't know who he is. He said hi to me before. The one armed man is a legend at Suns games. And he had another. I don't know if it's the same girl as last time. It's just stunning. And you don't, you know, it's kind of bigoted. It's kind of bigoted to assume the one our man couldn't pull off, the beautiful lady. But how charming or rich do you have to be. To be missing a limb and, you know, get multiple incredibly hot girls. I've gotten pictures of the one armed man from another friend of mine who goes to Suns games. Seen him about town. Some at the Phoenix Open, some at other things. And he's. Everybody marvels. Is it. Is it sort of bigoted for us to say, oh, he's got one arm. How's he.

[Listener]

He's loaded.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Okay, see, there's the problem. Yeah. That's the thing everybody assumes. Why can't he just have a winning personality? Why can't he just. The greatest guy on the planet. One armed man gets. Nobody's ever texted me and said, have you seen the guy with, you know, blonde hair with the hot girl? No. You anticipate or assume that a guy with all four limbs can get a girl like three. Three limbs. Three out of four. You're 75% in the limb department and you got a hot girl with you, Everybody assumes something's weird about you.

[Listener]

Yeah, but if he's Italian, he can't fully express himself down one arm.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He tells half the story. Yeah, he'll knock you around. He's a big dude too.

[John Holmberg]

Or he's hung like an elephant.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, see, and that's the thing. I'm thinking it's like maybe Brady's God took his arm, but gave him a huge, huge hog replaced it. You can't just be a one armed man and people look at you and say, hey, great job on getting the girl. We always assume. And that's more of a, I guess, an affront to women that we assume that any of the good ones would never give a chance to a guy who's like, who's flawed, you know, quoting Fingers like, we. That's a, that's more of a, A disparaging statement towards women saying, well, I can't believe she would be with him. What's he got? Like, the assumption is he can't possibly win over a beautiful woman.

[Listener]

Something. There has to be something that makes up for the.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Exactly. Because otherwise why.

[Listener]

That's.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But why we are.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's got Babar's crank. I'm telling that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But there's the. That is. That is a. That is a sad statement of how women see us.

[Listener]

But you said this is.

[John Holmberg]

They're women. Of course.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And there's Brett's. Brett's not wrong. Is to try to tap dance around the fact that it's broad. But the assumption is that. And plus he's, you know, and it's multiple. Right.

[Listener]

I mean, this isn't the same. This was a different girl.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I, I don't remember if this is the same one I saw him with.

[Listener]

Last because there is the case of she's a black girl, so she, she had both arms.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She's used to it having one arm.

[John Holmberg]

No, she's used to the big, big cranks.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh yeah. I need to see that avenue happening at all. So yeah. So he must have a big. Otherwise he's not scoring that either way. One our man or he's very charming. Well that's the thing. I tip the captive. If a beautiful. Absolutely. If a good looking.

[Listener]

Now when you say that one arm.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Is it all the way to the shoulder?

[Listener]

Just doing the sleeve thing. Empty sleeve.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, with a hook. No, no, no, no. No prosthetics. Nothing. And he's. And I've talked to him a couple times. He's super nice guy, but man oh man, I tell you what, it's, it's, it's more just a spotlight on society and the way we see things that we assume he's got a big one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Or he's rich. Which he could have all of these.

[John Holmberg]

Could be all the above. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But we just can't say, you know what you don't ever see in the upper deck? A one armed man with a model. You never see in the upper deck a model you never see the hot girls with the upper deck guys. If you're in the upper deck, you're not hot. You're either young and just learning, oh I don't need to be up here or you're not that good looking. And that's, you know, that's a sad state of affairs for the way society works is that you have to like hot girls don't sit in the upper deck with one armed guys. But down low, suddenly he'll win you over. He seems like first of all, I don't know that.

[Listener]

I don't know if you'd see the one armed guy. A one armed guy in the upper deck.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, you. Well, you would.

[Listener]

You're going to get the premium seats.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, you know what? You're probably right. I'm not going to see a one armed guy in the upper deck because that would mean I'd have to go up to the upper deck. I'm not going up there. That's just happened. I might see a guy with one arm going to the second level, but I'm not going to be part of that. That's the riffraff not going to the.

[John Holmberg]

Maryville seats up there.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'd Rather go to Maryvale. I'd rather watch the game in a Maryvale bar then set up there.

[Listener]

The last time I was up there in the upper deck, I admit I was.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Wow. To lose a bet.

[Listener]

I did not notice any one arm people. But it was a total of about five minutes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Wow.

[Listener]

Took Kirby to the. This was the Super Bowl Paramore. She wanted to go.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Listener]

And we get the station tickets from.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They were up high down the hall.

[Listener]

Upper deck, maybe four rows from the back.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You had to get out of there.

[Listener]

And I see Herbie. Sorry.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Brady started making phone calls. I got down low, got down close. Yeah. I. Yeah. And the other thing. Doug Hopkins was there last night and he brought a friend of his with one leg. And that's what you would expect a one legged man to be dating. Doug Hopkins. That's like. That made sense. He's in town just to grab a new prosthetic. He used to live here. Hip or full down? He. He shot his leg off in a coyote hunting accident. One of the cool. I mean, that right there, that just makes you the coolest guy in a room. How'd you lose your leg? Coyote hunting accident. Blew my own leg off. My. God damn it. And go on. Nobody ever tells you to stop that story.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna put these guys in to play for the suns last night.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, I would have much rather watch one armed man and Doug's coyote hunting accident go out there and put a couple minutes on the floor. It was just a joke.

[Listener]

Hey, Wiley.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Why in the world you would never be in a room with somebody goes, what happened to your leg? Shot it off in a coyote accident. Okay. That's all I need. You have to. And then the story gets weirder. He got transported three different hospitals. One of them, the. The plane he had to get into because it was off in a rugged area. They had to turn him sideways with his meat leg just dangling there and like stuff him in the sideways in a plane because he didn't fit otherwise. The only plane they had. His story was like just awesome. Like, how long ago was this? 21 years ago. Like, man, oh, man. Go on. Like just. You lose a leg like that in that accident.

[Listener]

It was a cold day.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're automatically co. Walking around. He's in shorts and he's got his. It's a cold, rainy night Mesa. We was out hunting coyotes.

[John Holmberg]

What, you found Bill Osborne?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Yeah. We went to the Acapulco Bay Club. Then she walked in. She had legs for miles. Getaway sticks that could make a man cry. Like, what? What he's doing.

[John Holmberg]

She had two of them too.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She had both legs, which is a huge turn on for me. He's 100 more than mine. It's pretty cool. Not to lose a leg, that's pretty awful. But to have that story, if you're gonna lose a leg, that's the way to do it. And I even told him. I'm like. Cause I started. I asked him like, how'd you lose it? And he kind of hemmed it. I'm like, just lie to me. Tell me a. Tell me an idiot story. And he goes, no, I'll tell you the real one. And it was. Man, I tell you. They start calling the one armed man Ampupeet Davidson. I think that's probably it. One armed man is. He's awes. This one says, let me add racism to this. If it was a black chick, do you think it was an escort service? Come on.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Have some class.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I didn't know exactly. Leave that to Brett, for crying out loud.

[Listener]

Everything's checking out, Rich. Check. Big crank. Check.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. I mean, second row, second row on the floor. I think it just makes people mad. I think you look at the girl you're with. Last night I was with Dr. Jordan Tennant. So I looked at him and I'm like, this stinks. I got both my arms and I gotta bring you to the game.

[John Holmberg]

You should order it out. Like he.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Or. Well, now you've made the assumption that that's true. That is an alleged story. Possibly not true, but she was outrageous. One arm, one legged man was like, did you see One armed man's girl? And I'm like, I knew you guys would connect. I knew you'd hook up finally. And there was an even number of limbs in the room because one balanced the other out.

[Listener]

Is there a nod on that?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I wonder if there's like a jeep wave between.

[Listener]

There would have to be.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I would think, like the way motorcycles do and jeeps do. Nice leg. Nice arm.

[John Holmberg]

We had one arm guy with his hot chick, and then he got one.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Leg guy with Hopkins. Yeah, man, Hopkins. I get it. Hop. He. Yeah. And I don't know if one arm man lost his arm in a coyote hunting accident. I even.

[John Holmberg]

I hope so.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'll be honest with you. Last night I learned that there's coyote hunting. I didn't know that you actually. I thought you just sat on your porch and shot him.

[Listener]

Like he was out 20 minutes into.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Anywhere in the desert intentionally out to kill coyotes because. And I know in like Texas and stuff. That's a thing because they tear things apart. They'll eat your chickens and all that. But I thought it was just on your property. You could kill a coyote. I didn't know you went out and hunted them.

[John Holmberg]

You don't think your dad in yellow go out there?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Oh yeah. They'll keep them away.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Hi. Yelling. My dad shot. He can't do it. My dad's told me that. He goes, I could never shoot a coyote unless it was doing something. It's like shooting a dog. I'm like, I'm with you. I've had him in my front yard and I try to scare him away. I've had him in my backyard. I just.

[Listener]

We just had to go through the parking lot.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, I could. Well, I. You know they're over on the sidewalk. When we walk in the building sometimes they're milling around over. I've seen them back when it's colder. Normally they're not, but yeah, I couldn't do it but coyote hunting accident. You lose an arm doing that. That's kind of cool. So one armed man. The fugitive. I think it's pretty great. We're looking for a one armed man. I guess I just missed my dad. It was a. It's remarkable because everybody saw it.

[Listener]

Now we have to change it up in another year. Say dire wolf hunting.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh my God. Well, no, there's not gonna. Those. We're not gonna have bullets big enough for what we're inventing. Don't worry about it. AI is gonna wipe us all out. We'll have dire wolves and dinosaurs and woolly mammoths all back again. Somebody said emailed me goes, I'm not afraid of the woolly mammoths. I just found out it's the same size as a regular elephant. That scares me. I wouldn't. I don't want to see that walking up and down 52nd street.

[Listener]

Of when they go wild.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Listener]

I don't like in India.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. I don't elephant sized anything that we just came up with. Risky. So I'm just tipping my cap one arm man. And I feel bad and I want to apologize to all amputees with hot girls. I've been to a Ted Nugent show. I didn't see any hot girls with all the amputees. And that's the most amputees I've ever seen. Gas for sure. It was like a convention.

[Listener]

It was impressive.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Of pinned up sleeves. Like I have never seen more dudes missing an arm than I had at the Ted Nugent show. And I didn't see one girl there, like with her with a sleeve wrapped around her shoulder. Or like, like the guy has where his arm would be? Not at all. And one armed man sat girl to dead arm. So he's in the closer. No. Yeah, I guess. But like there's nothing. There's no touching. He has to go. He has to reach around his whole body.

[Listener]

True.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He has to like live side, dead side. He has to go.

[Listener]

That means escort.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You think?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You guys are both racist.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not. I said he had a big crank.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, that is true. But you did say he hired it out after that.

[Listener]

No, that was. I just brought it up.

[John Holmberg]

I did not. That other dude.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I got some class over here.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I guess, said John, maybe he won a court settlement for losing his limb in an accident and now he's rich. Why can't he just have earned it? Why can't a one armed man just have. No, it's. Why do we.

[John Holmberg]

It's a boring story.

[Listener]

Got a hundred million from ash blood.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, he got his arm stuck in that trees thing. Ah, wonder man.

[John Holmberg]

We've probably got a video of him somewhere in our videos.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yo, we've probably seen the incident. I just can't. But I guess it's me. I started thinking about it last night. I'm like, why can't I just let this guy have a normal existence? Like there's always something.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And I'm not alone. All my emails, he's. She's. She's a prostitute. Like, why can't one our man have a girlfriend without us wondering? But we all do. Unless she's ugly. Like we will allow one armed man to have an ugly girl because he's only got one arm, but he's got beautiful women. And we assume that that means what Brett says escort. Or maybe it's a.

[Listener]

Maybe it's a little envy.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It could complete jealousy. It's ugly, it's gross. And we're all guilty of it. But because that's what I said, you know, to the one legged man when he said, did you see the one arm? Even one legged man was like, man, that girl he was with. And I'm like, yeah, that's one armed man. He must be paying for that. Like, no. Why, why can't one arm man just have a good looking lady sitting on the. We don't even treat like fat weird people that way. A fat dude with all his limbs with a girl. We just start money. Oh well, yeah, first thing's money. That's what it is unattractive dudes with hot chicks. It's immediate money. It can't be personal. We just don't give the benefit of the doubt at all. And really what it is, is just a shot at women is that they don't really care about anything outside of the cash. That's why you see, looks aren't everything look. You don't see a lot of ugly people.

[John Holmberg]

Spoken like a true Gilbert.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Exactly. That's what an ugly dude would say. The you don't see hardly any ugly women in the first three rows of any NBA game at all. But there are tons of ugly guys. And you know, I'm not. I'm not blowing the COVID off of anything we already knew. But take an arm off, they don't care. The money trumps it. If you get. If you get them in the leather seats at a sun's arena, you can be missing limbs and doesn't matter. And us four, you know, limbed guys haven't learned that lesson yet. You got to go get the cash. If you don't have any, you're gonna end up with Doug Hopkins next to you. Doug's got money. He's good. He's good. The fact he has a lady that talks to him is shocking.

[John Holmberg]

And a guy with him could run both sets of fingers through his hair, too.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And he needs a one Armand, so it doesn't. So get too many fingers in that hair of his.

[Listener]

I mean, I was, you know, years ago, set up one time.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, yeah.

[Listener]

And there's an opportunity, and I just.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Couldn'T do it because she had half an arm.

[Listener]

It was.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She was rich, too.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Loaded. What?

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing?

[Listener]

It was a. It was a baby.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She had a baby hand sticking out of her shoulder. Brady dated her once.

[Listener]

And no, it's just like a get together.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's a date for you, Brady. It's okay. You could have date. It's all right that you dated her.

[John Holmberg]

How'd she look, though? Other than that?

[Listener]

She's pretty.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Except for you could not have her as your girl. Maybe it's better. Maybe women are better because they can look past it. All that money, though, because she was from, like, a really wealthy family.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And you said no. Yeah, because you couldn't rally up for baby arm. She couldn't hug one arm. She. One arm. Man can hug. Yeah, Brett's right. That's a terrible excuse.

[Listener]

She could hug.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, you don't just assume the other one is in your purse.

[Listener]

No, I just couldn't. I couldn't do it.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You were.

[Listener]

I. I bigot.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Listener]

You know. You know, at the time I was thinking. I don't think it's because of that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I do.

[Listener]

But when you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It was only because of that. Yep. That was the biggest reason that made you look for other things to go. Yeah, this is not going to work. For sure. If she had both arms, you look. If she had both arms and looked better physically, you could have said, ah, she chews with her mouth open, but I can deal with that. But choose with her mouth open and has a baby arm. I mean, come on. You can't. She's disgusting.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, how rich is she? She flying southwest or she flying private charter?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She has her own play.

[Listener]

You're right.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa, what are you doing?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, she has her own playing company. She's. She's. This woman is rich. I know. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Brady was. I can do better than this. Yuck. I can hear you. Was that out loud? Geez, I thought you were deaf too. Is everything's wrong with you, Helen Keller? So, yes, I did see one armed man last night, and I too was impressed. But I've seen one armed man several times and I am no longer shocked by it. Whatever that guy's got, whatever he's doing, cut your arm off because it's working. It's a move. I think it's the same girl I saw him with last time. I don't remember. It's been a minute, but damn it all. Good for him. Proud of him. This guy said, my sister's an amputee and she's a C word. She stole 300,000 from me. Should have cut her head off.

[Listener]

Wow.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She's not a thief because she's an amputee. Or when she was an amputee, she became a thief. That's the thing. Yeah. Ladies, I want to. I want to see it. Where I see. I see the upper deck. I see that escalator from in the sun's arena where a one armed man is taking a beautiful lady up to the upper deck. I don't think that's a thing at all. Not even a little bit of a thing. I don't think you'll know beautiful ladies. You don't see beautiful ladies getting on that escalator, going to section 2o blank. It's just not that, you know, and it's amputee.

[Listener]

They ought to have a contest up there. This upper deck.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Hottest girl of the upper deck.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, we could do that instead of the MILF contest.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You guys can do that all you want. We'll give you two tickets to the upper deck. That's how we'll tell you if you. If you won or lost. Congratulations, you. Here's your tickets to the Suns game. Section 230. Right. That's where you belong. You get section. You know, 103. Now we're cooking 124. And your row only has one number. It's like row seven. Oh, you're gorgeous.

[Listener]

Then we go to Chase Field and do the miss. Miss two dollar.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, my God. The two dollar hot dog girl. Is she gonna get a full meal or the two dollar menu? Which one does she get?

[John Holmberg]

Donald said, what the hell, Brady? Just imagine how big your crank would have looked in that little baby hand.

[Listener]

I know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

This one says, brady can't imagine dating a woman growing old with her because she wouldn't be able to chop up his food. That's probably true.

[Listener]

Cooking skills, maybe. I don't know. It's not about that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You can say it. It's just unattractive to you to have a woman so grotesquely disfigured.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. And you couldn't do it. Yeah. You're better than that. And she's beneath you, and you put her in her place.

[Listener]

But I thought maybe, you know, maybe I. It wouldn't affect me.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

How. How long. How far into the date did you realize when you first glanced at her, you said, oh, come on. Because it was a setup. Right?

[Listener]

It was a setup to meet each other.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And no one did immediately.

[Listener]

It would. You know, it can go either way, that we're just having fun at a dinner.

[John Holmberg]

But this was never brought up to you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But it was just four people.

[Listener]

It. It. It was not brought up to us.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I totally agree. You're gonna get blindsided by a half an arm. But if it's four people, that's a setup.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. So you were a couple, said, hey.

[Listener]

We'Re bringing our friend out for a happy hour for dinner.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And then do you want to join? She'll be there. And you're like, heck, yeah, I'll bone your ghost friend. And they said, you should meet my friend.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And you said, sure, I'll meet your friend. You didn't ask what she like. Is there anything I should know?

[Listener]

I'm just. I'm just. Yeah. Again, I assume that she's saying, girl, I think you would hit it off with.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And you. And have you ever spoken to these people?

[Listener]

You know, I knew after that. I need to ask.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Am I. Is there any Missing limb.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yes. What's.

[Listener]

What should I know missing on this one?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What. What triggers should I. Because I don't want to go in there. Like, does she have a unibrow? Is a question. Like, I don't want to look at and go, whoa. I don't want. You know that girl that had Bell's palsy here and no one told me. And when I went to talk to her and she turned around, her face was melting off. I actually reacted with, what's going on? No one told me, and I made her feel terrible, but I'm like, I didn't know. This would. Like, this was a shock to me. People have to tell you, if you're setting someone up with a baby arm, you have got to say, she's amazing. She has a baby arm.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And would you have still gone, why not?

[Listener]

Not like, baby arm. I said, she just, you know, she's disfigured. Yeah. One arm.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'd rather be. Okay, well. And then you would say, what's wrong with it? And she'd say, baby arm. Eventually it's going to come out. It's the best way to describe.

[Listener]

I still would have gone.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You would have gone.

[Listener]

Just out of curiosity.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No way. Sure, you would have.

[Listener]

Why not?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Really, you would. I don't think I got to see it. I think maybe you'd have shown up for something. You wouldn't have gone for the full shebang. You wouldn't have gone to dinner and whatever. You're not pulling off the wallet. She's not. She can't reach it. But you're not. You're not going down there to. To baby arm, knowing baby arm. That's why she didn't tell you.

[Listener]

Yeah, but what's going through your mind in the first. Like, you know when a friend says, oh, I think you guys would be a good match.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Like, yeah.

[Listener]

What are you thinking?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Like, you're.

[Listener]

What's with this one? Oh, you'll. You're gonna love her. She's great. 80% of her body's burned from a fire.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right, Right. But then you don't go, like, I don't think that's for me, but that to me says what your friends think of you.

[Listener]

Right?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right. You, the baby arms. Perfect for Brady. He's disgusting.

[Listener]

But at the same time, you look at and say, I think this is a guy that could overlook that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But they were wrong. And I know that maybe he could.

[John Holmberg]

Have, though, at very least, if he.

[Listener]

Would have known ahead of time. I'm not turning that off.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She was super Rich, Right, Right there. That's enough to make up for the baby arm. You put your wang in that tiny hand, finally you're a man, and everything else seems to be falling in place. You couldn't overlook it from the beginning. And I'm right there with you.

[John Holmberg]

I just had the question come through. One arm, Margot Robbie. Am I in or out? I'm in.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

In.

[John Holmberg]

I'm in. Yeah, one arm.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Do a no arm.

[Brady]

Exactly.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'll take Boxing Helena. I jerked off to Boxing Helena. One of the greatest movies of all time. She has no legs and no arms, and the guy finds her in the street after a car wreck and stuffs her in a box and keeps her because her torso was perfect. And you did her hair every morning with Sherilyn Fenn, for God's sakes. In her prime, she was gorgeous. In real life, though, if. If one of your fingernails falls off, I'm out. She's deformed. Upper decker says, here's the reason I love your show. I turned the radio on, the first thing I heard was she chews with her mouth open and she has a baby arm. That might be the funnies I've ever heard to start a day. Yeah. If you don't know what we're talking about. Brady hates amputees. Would never date them. It's disgusting. That's for those of you just tuning in. But, yeah, it's sad, but it's true. And you really kind of have to assess that. Would I date a girl who has a missing limb? It has to be Margo. Oh, yeah. And even then, I think leg would be easier than arm because you can hide it. I didn't even notice. I didn't even know.

[Listener]

I mean, you know Paul McCartney?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. He dated Heather Mills. One legged man last night that I was hanging out with with Hopkins. I didn't even notice he had one leg until he pointed to it. And I'm like, oh, yeah, Doug told me about you. Like, he was right there with. I did not notice. And he's in shorts. He's moving just fine. We're sitting there chatting. I don't look a guy up and down. He had one leg, big deal. And I even told him, like, if your story is like, in war, everybody's got one of those, make something good. And he told me the coyote hunting accident thing, it was great. But, like, if a girl with one leg kind of waddled through, I think I've heard one arm or a. Like, you had the baby arm.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Margot Robbie could walk in as a weeble, and I'd hit that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What if she wheeled him? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, really fragile wheelchair, parking spots.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You know, I mean, you are seeing the benefits.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

All right, what if she's. From the neck down, paralyzed?

[John Holmberg]

Will stuff still work? From the neck down?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Still looks the. Well, I mean, your stuff still works on it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm in.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No kidding.

[Listener]

Why not?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

You're with Margot Robbie.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Firemen carry her into another.

[John Holmberg]

Some average broad walking down the street. No, I'm out.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, I'm out. She wouldn't be walking down the street.

[John Holmberg]

Wheeling down the street.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

So you're out. Unless. Yeah, and that is terrible. That's just you. Oh, God, no. I'm not even close to being involved in that. I'm crossing the street. I don't think I could do the Margot Robbie full paralyzed thing. Yeah, I mean, well, I'd have to be with you first.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, like she got. Yeah, she got that way.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. I can't. I don't think I could start a relationship with somebody paralyzed. I don't know. You'd have to be pretty charming.

[John Holmberg]

I'm so.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And again, like, Brady blew it. You gotta own a major industry.

[John Holmberg]

I would just have. I would just have Wolf of Wall street playing in the background watching her.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Like, okay, yeah, yeah. There we go. Maybe they'll cure it. Come on, Elon. Get that neural link going. There's always hope. There's always the guy in the room when that. You know when the paralyzed person has all those electrodes attached and they get up and they start walking. In that suit. Have you seen that one where they put those legs on? Yes. And the legs will work them. And there's always a guy in the back that starts crying. There's a reason why he's. He's not happy for you. He's happy for himself. It's like, oh, never mind.

[John Holmberg]

The guy behind the curtain, she's walking.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She can walk. I mean, she can reverse cowboy. Just gotta get her straight. Anyway, we're weird as a society, but tip of the cap to one armed man. The first email I got this morning. Did you see him like I saw him? That guy's a killer. He's awesome. I don't know his name. I wish I did. I've talked about him before. Way back. Because me and my friend could not figure out how come every game we're looking at one armed man. This was years, three or four years ago. We're like, he has got a beautiful woman with him every time. And my apologies to one Armed man for assuming that there was something else going on. Why can't he just be a charming, fun, good dude? Why not? That's what you want people to think of you. You don't want Brady. You don't want people looking at you going, he must have money. Or a huge crank. Although we don't mind it. It's basically saying something's wrong with you. What's making up for it? I know I've got it. Nobody's ever looked at me and said, yep, he deserves that.

[Listener]

What do you do?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I must have a huge winner. Money. You got money. It's all okay. Also have a winning personality. No, it ain't. It. No. Shoot. Okay. Six, seven. Very charming. Charming. I'm a fun person. Not in it. You must be able to buy stuff. I guess that might be.

[Listener]

He listens.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I've seen his face. There's no way. This guy. You just must have a. And that is kind of the. Like when you're ugly and you're with someone pretty and they assume you have a huge honker, you're kind of like, okay, being ugly. But really, when somebody says, you must have a big dick, they're saying you're horrendous to look at. The only reason this is happening is something I can't see. Something I can't see is the reason you have this. And in my case, none of that's true. It is because I'm charming. I'm just funny. And let's get a wake up song. Five eight, five, 9800 a good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Hey, it's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Brett. I sure do. It's MMP Guns. Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Big Dick Toledo]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No wait.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com It's John Holmberg here.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug hopkins.com, tV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online Doug hopkins.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins singers 1-800-sale now.

[Brett]

All right, HMS podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt face performing. Just google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at stand Up Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Sickness. The old method of treatment for a.

[Brady]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

There's miles to nowhere. Thank you for the theme song Katie and the Hobbs and a beautiful day. It's going to be 100 today. Today the day we're 100 now that's.

[John Holmberg]

I heard 98, but I don't know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Who knows cuz you're listening to 98. That's right. It might be 105 outside, but here.

[Listener]

It'S always giving away something. When the temperature hits 98, it's always 98.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. If we ever hit a 98 degree, the second it hits 97.9, you win upper deck tickets to a sun's game. I love that when radio stations use them. It's 88, I'd say, but it's always 98 on your radio. Bob's thought that was cool. That's amazing. What a great idea. Cause boring people talk about the temperature. So let's just add it in with let's make the temperature mean. That's what I think our big voice guy should have always done. Like, is that when you used to call for time and temp? Yeah, it's exactly 6:43 and it's 75 degrees outside.

[John Holmberg]

Scare you into the wind.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Jesus Christ, man.

[Listener]

People would want that on the nine.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, you would. All right, David, what's the temperature? Look at a high of 78. Thank you. None of this twinkie Ian Schwartz nonsense. Give me some weather with balls. Try that on for size next time. Ian Schwartz will be over there at channel three. 78 in Clintale, 78 in Mesa, 78 in Phoenix.

[Listener]

Chance for Haboo still.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

My favorite thing about the weather is Los Angeles started this. And because again, it's Bob's, it's corporate Bob's. That said, in Los Angeles, they're doing this thing where they give the temperature for each city in the region. Well, on the beach, it's 77. Inland, it's 108. So there's a reason to say there's a difference. It's 104 in Pasadena, and it's, you know, over here, Manhattan beach, it's 80. Like, there's a reason you would do that. So they thought that'd be a great idea. We're gonna implement that in every city. So they made them do it here. And poor Ian Schwartz has to stare at a map of Phoenix with Avondale and give some. A little added 77. And Goodyear, it's 77 in Chandler, it's 77 in Cave Creek, it's 77. It's 77 everywhere. We got 79 in Gilbert, nothing's different. And they act like, oh, well, Mesa's checking in at 81. It's 78 over here in Glendale, like, that's 3 degrees. It's not. Not.

[Listener]

Check your thermometer.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, we're not having wild swings where you need to tell me, you know.

[Listener]

Like, if it was 34, Chandler.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But yeah. Suddenly, while they're having a deep freeze in Chandler, meanwhile scorching hot temperatures up here in Paradise Valley. If there was a difference, there'd be a thing. Like, I don't ever watch that and say, I gotta get out of Phoenix and get over to chandler. It's always 20 degrees cooler.

[Listener]

We are 500ft higher.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right. That's. You're closer to the sun. I don't know what you're telling me. Me. So I'll climb Camelback and I'll be. Temperature doesn't change. Still like 80 up there, too. But they have to do it because Los Angeles did it. We got real good success out of that. When I lived in la, there were like, that's a huge swing. You go. I lived in Glendale. I'd go to Pasadena. And then I drive all the way down to, like, the city. And it was 20 degrees different. It's like 12 miles. Took me an hour and a half. But it's 12 miles. You get over to Pacific Palisade. Malibu, back from Pacific Palisades was A thing. It's gone. It's all gone now. It's hotter there than it's ever been. But yeah, that was always really nice. Very rarely hot, right up the street. Miserable. It's like 88. And Burbank. It's 60 downtown. 10 minutes. Makes sense. But no for Ian has to do that now. We need a guy with balls doing the weather. Miles to Nowhere. Who does our theme socks? Rich, the drummer boy for Miles to Nowhere, emailed and said in classic Miles to Nowhere fashion, we're getting around to printing a shirt that says, make your cock rise with the sun. It's one of the lyrics in our theme song, and we want you all to have one on us. We're having a kickoff to the Easter keg show next Thursday, the 17th at Pub Rock. So we're doing totally unaffiliated. Didn't ask us. And they're still doing it. We don't care.

[John Holmberg]

Let the Bob's know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Yeah. Why are they doing what? So they're gonna do a show before we hide all the kids. So the Easter Bunny will be get. We'll be all gathering our kegs. I can't believe that's next week. And on Thursday night, when we go out and hide them. Thursday, Friday morning, they'll be playing a show at Pub Rock. And they're fun. That's a fun band to watch live. So Milestone over is gonna be there. They want to offer all Homeburg listeners a deal on the shirt. Mention CUPD and get $10 off. How much are you selling these shirts for?

[Listener]

I was just gonna say Christ concert prices.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

When I get my $10 off, you better just say, okay, that'll be $2.

[Listener]

That's right. It's only $40.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

$10 off is a pretty. That's a big chunk. That just basically means that you're overcharging people, Rich. It says thanks for all the love on the opening song. Well, thank you, Miles to Nora. The opening song is phenomenal. And we couldn't be happier with you guys having written our. And performing our. Our theme song. $10 off. That's a lot. That's too much. It's. I'm just so torn up about the sun situation last night. Like, Kevin Ray and I were talking after the game and just misery. Like, I don't think that. I think this might be. This is saying something too. This might be the worst Phoenix team and not necessarily talent, but the most disappointing and terrible situation in all of Phoenix sports history. I can't think back to a more disappointing Disaster.

[Listener]

Do you think it's because, I mean, for you, I mean, he's saying that and he's been around it and you're saying that. But do you think a factor of that is you've been following it so much more than you have in the past?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, no.

[Listener]

You're more vested.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, I'm completely. Yeah, I'm involved more than I was back in the 90s. I was super fan, like way beyond where I am now. Then the strike happened and I stopped watching basketball and then the Suns went through their thing and I watched up until like 2005 and 6. And then when Sarver took over, something changed. I still don't think that they had a worse, more embarrassing. I don't think this city's ever had a more embarrassed like the Coyotes. I think the level of expectation was so big, the amount of money, the names attached and to be so bad, to be so incredibly heartless, lifeless and bad in every aspect. Coaching, playing front, front office. Like, the whole thing was so bad. I can't think of another team in this city that has been that disappointing and that awful at the same time. Disappointment, like the most disappointing thing I think has ever happened for Phoenix fans probably had to be when the Suns got drubbed out of the playoffs a couple years ago against Dallas the year after they were in the finals. They're a good team. And then Dallas beats him at home by 40 and then does it again the next night. Like, I think that was like wild disappointment. Like, wow, they really put on. They put on a great show. They were a good team all year and this ran out of gas. I think there was an excuse to that. This one. This is just as bad as sports gets. And I mean, like, heads need to roll every. Everywhere. It's. I don't think I'm overstating it. I think it is the worst. This is the worst semblance of a sports team that Phoenix has ever seen.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's most disappointing. But.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well then think about it and think of what I'm saying. I mean, you're talking about the Cardinals. Yeah. Never once did you wander into a Cardinals thing going. Man, this is a team that should. They can't lose, contend for a champion. At least they should be in this. They should, they should entertain me. At the very least, I should get something out of this team. Wasn't entertaining. And even back in the crappy years when they were horrible and ended up getting the number one pick a couple of times because they were so bad, you didn't Go there thinking, this is a good team. Most of the time. You went to go watch the other team. You got Kevin Durant, Bradley Beal, Devin Booker, Tyus Jones. I mean, you've got players.

[Listener]

Maybe we can do something in the playoffs. Man, you're not thinking.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You didn't even make it right. Like, you. You staggered to almost the playing level. Eleven, see, they were in. If this was five years ago, they wouldn't even been close because they only take the top eight. Now the playing game goes all the way to 10, and they're at 11, and they are stumbling around 11. They're horrible. So it's. Yeah, it's on your mind when you. You're right. When you spend money and you spend time and you're down. I don't think it magnified anything. I think it just. Just. You just see it. I don't think I'm overdoing it because I spent money. I think just paying attention to this from a, you know, sideline seat, you're like, man, the fact. This is just awful.

[Listener]

Yeah. The fact of the lineup that you're right. It's an All Star.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It is. And to be this bad and. And we're still dull. It's like a hot girl with no personality. It's like, man, oh, man, this is a shame. That. I remember there was a girl that was so. Like, maybe had the nicest butt in the history of radio sales ever.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. And everybody said it. And one of our friends took her out on a date. And after, I'm like, so. And we were all a little jealous, like, God, he pulled this off.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Who'd call and rec this time?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, Colin didn't do it. Okay. You'll know who it is in a second.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And at the end of the, you know, talking about it, like, where'd you guys go? And he's like, we went to a. We went out. We had dinner and then went back and we started making out. And I had to ask her to leave. I'm like, what? He goes, I couldn't go through with it. I'm like, why? She was just too stupid. And, like, really?

[John Holmberg]

Standards are that high?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, that's how stupid she was.

[Listener]

She was low.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

A hot girl. That was so stupid. He didn't want to. He wanted her out.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know about that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And he told us he.

[Listener]

I forgot to breathe.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He could have lied and just said, yeah, we did it, and then went, it was no good. No, he told us. I couldn't even pull it off. Couldn't pull the trigger on it. She was too stupid. I'm like, you can't what? Just keep her quiet. That was the problem. She wouldn't stay. And. And this is the same guy who asked a girl to marry him after she said while watching Gone with the Wind, who wins the war? He proposed to her.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's how dumb this girl was.

[Listener]

She was like, what is my response supposed to be?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And I said, did you tell her? The west. The west wins. She had never seen Gone with the Wind, and his story was great. We got up, we had sex all morning. We had breakfast, and then we watched a movie. She'd never seen Gone with the Wind, and it was a dvd, so there were two. And remember when they used to do the long ones? You had to reset the DVD after the first half ended? We had more amazing sex. I put the second one in, and before it started, she said, I have to ask you something. Who wins the war? And then I kind of knew. I may have made a mistake. He was gonna marry that. That. That's how dumb the girl was after her is that he had to remove her from his life right there on the spot.

[Listener]

Get out of the tough shed.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's the Sons. What an. She got a great ass, but, man, she's dumb. They are the. The cardinal sin of humanity to me is to be dull. If you're a dull person, you can waste your time. People are like, oh, don't waste your life. I don't like. To me, if you're thinking funny thoughts or you're thinking fun stuff and you're being lazy, you're still fun. You know, if you're a person who just makes. Makes something good out of nothing just because you're kind of. You're being dull is a. Is human sin to me. It's like, I can't imagine living a life as a dull. And not everybody's gonna find you fun. Like, not everybody thinks, but you're not dull. You may. Maybe people might even like Arizona Moms hate me. But. But that. But that. I'm. I'm not dull. I'm keeping it moving. I think the worst thing you can be is just dull. And the suns did that. They hit the floor and bored you. You.

[Listener]

You. You can't be in that particular. In any sport.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

How it's hard to be dull. It's harder work to be dull than it is to be entertaining because you can. You just put an effort out. You're entertaining if you just try. You're like, you Know what? They're. They're fun to watch because there's at least some. That's why that Colin Gillespie guy, who no one knew prior to the midweek, is like the one guy. He's the only one you're like. Your eyes are drawn to. You ever see a band. The band's kind of boring, but one of the. One of the players, like a drummer or something, is like. You can't take your eyes off him. The. The warning.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The band, the warning, the drummer. You can't stop the show. And they're really good. The other two may suffer from a little dull. The gorgeous tall bass player is just living on gorgeous, but I don't think she's. But, I mean, that drummer just draws your eye. The Suns don't have that. You get a guy who tries a little bit and you're like, oh, my God, there's the effort. I'm looking for the cardinal sin of humanity to me, being dull.

[John Holmberg]

There's no personality on the team. Like, you look at. You had a Michael Jordan, you had Charles Barkley, Shaquille o' Neal, Kobe. The list goes on and on. Those are all dudes that were out there chewing ass, having fun.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You could see anger when they were having a tough night.

[Brady]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

These guys, it's just like they have a bad.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, they shrugged their shoulders. They've been. They've been.

[John Holmberg]

Play again tomorrow.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They've been. Right. They've been going to Cancun for the last month. They're booking their flights, so. To the Suns. I hope every. And they keep. I read an article this morning. It's like, Devin Booker's the only one guaranteed to be on the team next year. What? Why? Why is this city so emotionally attached to singular players? You don't win championships being emotionally attached to a guy. Shane Doane, Larry Fitzgerald, and now Devin Booker, all cursed with the gosh. The city likes you so much, we won't let you go.

[Listener]

We want to build this team around you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He's a hostage. You can't. He's not. He's not a guy. You can. He's proven it. Devin Booker's really good. He's not the guy. He's not a guy that says, okay, you could. If. If that were true, they. They. They'd have championships. You've got Kevin Durant scoring 27 points a night next to him, and they still can't win. Devin Booker's not the man. He's a really likable, good player, but he's not the man. And the city's like, oh, my God, you're. It's sacrilege to think about trading him. Like, why? You're getting nothing from this.

[John Holmberg]

It's like you said before, he's the Scottie Pippen, he's Pippin.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

There's a whole lot.

[Brett]

Great player.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Totally frustrated by the whole thing.

[Listener]

Well, that he brought Jenner back into the mix. Maybe that's why they wanted.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, I wouldn't mind seeing that wandering around. But no question, he's a. It seems like a really good dude, but you're not winning any titles from them. So if you like nice players and you like people who are good to the community, then go ahead and have your Devin Booker team. But it's not going to win you anything.

[Listener]

They're holding him back.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I agree completely. The franchise is holding Devin. But if you love Devin Booker, set him free. Let him go play in Boston, for God's sakes, or Milwaukee and go get a championship. Chase something. This. This is garbage down here. Anyway, sorry, I'm on my. I'm on my soapbox about this team, but I will say I do think it is the. I think this year's Suns is. It's the worst. It's the worst sports season for any team, including the Coyotes, that this city's ever seen.

[Listener]

So would you be okay if they imploded everything?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yes.

[Listener]

And it's saying next season is just. It's going to take two or three.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Am I going to get. Am I going to get a team that goes out on the floor and tries? Yeah, I'll watch that. I got a team that, like, watching this mess. They don't try. Bills have sparks like last night's game. They're playing in the beginning. Then once the. Once, once, once. Oklahoma City said, okay, that's enough. They just. They just realized, oh, we're going to get our asses kicked now. And they allowed it. And then they'll show a little fight when it's too late. And then they did go out and that thing I hate the most at the end of games, they just got trounced. They're smiling, they're hugging the other team. Like, I understand saying, hey, good game to the guys, but don't give me, like, Bradley Beal. Don't laugh the entire time after the final buzzer sounds and you're over there just having the time of your life with the team that just stomped you guys into the. You aren't. And that was before they were eliminated from the playoffs. Like two nights ago when Golden State whipped their ass. And they had a nice old chat after the game with the 40 point loss on your own floor and you're, you're having, you're having a great time. I want to see a dude pissed off. I want to see somebody angry walking off that court like, I, I, Steph Curry's great. I don't have time for this right now. I gotta go dunk my head in an ice bath because this is, this is frust. And they don't, they don't have any frustration. I don't have any personality. As many bad Cardinal teams, as many bad Coyotes teams, the Diamondbacks even had some. Remember the baby backs, they weren't winning anything, but, man, they were fun to watch. Like, there's a group of guys like, we shouldn't be out here. We shouldn't be doing this. I'd much rather have a group of scrappy guys that are 500 trying to, trying to show me that they just doing it off of pure effort than a bunch of dudes who expect to win. And when they don't, they don't care. And that's exactly what you got, that you feel like you got ripped off.

[John Holmberg]

If they implode the team, though, would you still, would you still renew your season tickets?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I already did. Yeah, I have no issue with that.

[John Holmberg]

Again, I'm just curious if that was kind of their thinking behind it.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Give me, I'll sit through bad years. I'm, I'm a former Cubs fan. Yeah, I'll sit through bad years as long as I'm seeing effort. The reason I don't like the Cubs anymore is because after they won the championship, they put out a product and said, we're not going to win anything with this. We know it. And they didn't care. And it's like. And the players were like, oh, we're just out here filling dates.

[Listener]

The only problem that I've had throughout the years, even though I have never gotten season tickets, is just hearing from all the friends that have season tickets. Is a season like this ends and the team or organization just turns on and says, oh, re up. They're more expensive.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, they did. They race every time they raised them. Every year I've had season tickets. And not a little bit quite substantial.

[Listener]

Which I can't, you know, so then I'm looking, I'm like, well, that's, that's on you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, well, it's kind of Netflix. We'll never raise the price until we do. Oh, we'll never show commercials until we do. And we're going to charge you for not having commercials now. Like what, this was supposed to be 9.95 for the rest of my life and suddenly it's 22 bucks. I gotta pay you extra for little features. And that's what the Suns did. They're just lying locked in price for now, right? Yeah, we'll move it.

[John Holmberg]

What are they represented by Cox?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, I mean that's true, but that, that's all that. So again this guy says, he said the Sons are like a hot chick that brags about how great she is in bed. And then you hit it, she's a dead fish. Yeah, they're Paris Hilton. You're looking at it going, this is good stuff. And then it just lays there. Just for the honor of you having been on top of it. It's like, yeah, we're here. That should be all you need this, this is a good idea. It says, this is why I say professional athletes should be paid after the season based on performance instead of millions of dollars up front and contracts. Dominic, you know, I've always said that they have incentive based contracts. There should be a ceiling and a floor. And your incentive based contract should be. If you don't hit these numbers, if this team doesn't win, playing commission would be huge. Huge. You get a, you get a base salary. So let's say Devin Booker, 170 million. But he gets bonuses if he's like an all star. He gets bonuses if he scores 25 points a game average MVP. Yeah, all that stuff. So but he should also get like, you lose money if you score less than 20 points a game for the season. And they should incentivize ceiling and floor. They're not allowed to do that. The union didn't allow it. You can't have low end markers that take money away. They'd lose their minds. All, it's all only plus. And they didn't hit, I'm sure they didn't hit any of them. I don't know. But this is, this is, this was really bad. And local sports radio is not, not mean enough here. We're a resort town, but any other city, I mean if this was Chicago, New York, holy cow, I can't imagine what the media would be doing to them. We still are excited KD and Booker are going to play that they, they'd be, they'd be lighting the building on fire in cities that actually have passion for their teams. I mean this, this is, I mean.

[Listener]

New York's been pretty patient with various things. I mean, the Jets.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Listener]

Mets.

[John Holmberg]

But they know going in.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They know going in and they still destroy them.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Like the local media still wrecks the jets when they're. Zach Wilson is their quarterback and they knew their season was gonna suck. This guy says, don't slander Paris Hilton, you son of a bitch. I saw the video. She put in a lot more effort than the Suns did all year. That's true. I did notice that she moved her ass a couple of times. The Suns never did it. It's bad. So incentivize the fans by saying, you know, if Matt Ishbia came out and said, look, season tick holders, ticket holders, we understand that if you've renewed us raising a price on you. Horrible. So we're going to drop the price. We didn't even hit 500. There's a chance. This team almost lost 50 games this year. They're going to be 35 and 47. More than likely what Brett Bush did.

[Listener]

With the Rattlers that one year back in the day.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. If we brought the ticket prices down to the level of the team's play.

[Listener]

And then didn't he guarantee him.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He guaranteed. Yeah. Yep.

[Listener]

If we don't make the playoffs.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. It's free.

[Listener]

Yep.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

We'll take, you know. Yeah, but I mean, you know, season tickets are 150 bucks. Yeah. But still. Hey, it filled up.

[Listener]

Yep.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Like he got a lot of people said, shoot, this is worth it. And if they do make the playoffs, that means they were good. Son. Should have had that. A no playoff class. And you know what the worst thing is? NBA. You pay for season tickets and then the playoffs come along just like any other sport. You got to buy a new series of tickets to keep your seat for the playoffs. And it's crazy. The prices are crazy. So in a way it's like good. They didn't make the playoffs. That saved me money anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Getting bounced in the first round or something.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Just go to go watch them.

[Listener]

NFL's the same way too, Right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

In the playoff games you pay for extra tickets. But I don't, I don't know how much extra it gets until it's like you get to that championship game and you're paying high end prices either way. So it's just my way of saying, you sons for wasting so much of our time. It's bad. Man, oh man. And they send out that letter. You know, today's a new day for Suns fans. We're already hard at work on next year. Well, thanks. Great.

[Listener]

And they have to be paid in full. Right. The following season. What do you mean you've already paid for the tickets? They want the money.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, you can do monthly payments. You can do that. Yeah, they'll. Yeah. I mean there's. If you get high end seats, you have to pay three years in advance, you know, three year commitment. And it's like a million dollars literally to get your front row and you have to buy them three for three years. Like I don't think I'm gonna do that. It's pretty crazy. I did see, speaking of incentivizing things, there's a restaurant that I think we need to do here where they have in the entryway a door and then two poles that are kind of close together but not real close. And then another two poles that are a little closer together and another two, if you can slide through, you get 20% off.

[Listener]

I saw a girl that was stuck in the 15 she size 15.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right. So there's. You get a 20% discount if you're skinny enough to get through their smallest entry. And it's not unreasonable. But it's pretty like it's, it's the way of saying. But they did give the full price door is just a regular door. And it says sorry, full price fatty. And it's like they shame you. But people are upset. It's in Thailand or something too.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They're mad because they're like how, how dare you do. Like that means it's a good idea idea. Anytime you get somebody angry that says how dare you shame that. Well, that's a pretty good idea. That means. And I think RFK Jr. Is going to start that here. Like you can't eat here if you can't slide through the door. The door for little people will be the only door to get in and then you're just not allowed in. It's. I think it's brilliant. I think that's one of the best ideas ever. Now they're calling it a controversial restaurant concept. But if you can't fit through a little space, you're at out, you can go in. But full price, sorry. They got a 5% discount which I think it would be fun to watch you try to squeeze through that, but I don't think you could do it. 10% is pretty narrow. 15 and 20%. You have to be like a. You have to be faxable, you have to be paper thin. But there's a dude here in the picture, he's sliding through the 5% discount thing and it's pretty great.

[Listener]

It's like gates.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, it's like a gate yeah, and then you just go through and he's getting in there and then they show a couple other people trying to get through. But I think that's like a really good idea for restaurants that say, you know, it's like when Lululemon said we're not going to sell fat people our clothes and then everybody threw a fit and made the guy do it.

[Brady]

Don holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD.

[John Holmberg]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to M and P guns?

[Big Dick Toledo]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th Street Indian School or online at mmpguns.com ready to.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Beat the heat, Hooters is making waves with our new sun, surf and seafood deals. For a limited time, cool down with ice cold sun cruiser starting at just $5 and dive into amazing shrimp specials Monday through Saturday. Like a dozen buffalo shrimp for only $12. Catch our sensational crab legs sundaes where you can add an extra half pound for just $9 when you order a full pound. We'll see you this summer at Hooters. But hurry before these hot deals sail away. Hooters more than just wings. Homeberg's morning sickness. And he said, I don't want my clothes on people that are unattractive. Well, that's body shaming. I don't care. And then he caved on it. I, I was an admirer of his at first because he's like, I know it would be good business to sell more of my product, but we don't have super sized clothes because we're not trying to be on super sized people. We want our clothes on fit people because it's a fitness.

[Listener]

It looks better.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, that ended sales clothes, but what they didn't realize was you're cutting out like 70% of the American market. And they didn't get mad that he said it. They just wanted him to build them close. So he caved. And then now you've Seen the results. He was right. The last thing you need to see is Lululemons on some of these people. It's just horrific.

[John Holmberg]

In those polls on airlines.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And that's the other thing. You could implement this in other stuff.

[Listener]

Discount on the seat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. That's a great idea. If you're not taking up a lot of room. Room. I've always said they should weigh you. You get you. You fly by the pound. You get on there and you're like, all right, here we go. You're way over. They weigh your bags. You go international. You can't have a bag over £50. They fine you. You got to pay extra. So why not extra? For an acceptable amount of poundage. They have a whole scale there, like, and it might be better to just be able to slip through their little areas. Like you. If you have to turn sideways to walk down the aisle, that's an extra 50 bucks.

[Listener]

They got it for the overhead.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

If you walk down the aisle, bag fits in this. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And you bang into some shoulders and it's because your belly and your ass. That's an extra 50 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

If you're blobbing over into somebody else's seat.

[Brady]

Right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But if you're in one seat and you pay a baseline fee, but you can walk down the aisle and not hit anybody with your ass or your elbows. 10% off. I think that's a great idea. They do it for the stewardesses. At least they used to. Well, yeah, when they called them stewards on the airline, they just used to hit you with that cart. Their asses never gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

Remember to set you at the flight attendants or hostesses or whatever they called them. Oh, man.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Angels.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And the flying Angels.

[Listener]

They were the flying angels.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Not sure they had any airline training whatsoever, but they were great at what they. In a 38 minute flight, Brett and I had three drinks. Oh, yeah. Didn't even realize how it happened.

[John Holmberg]

They weren't weak.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No. Oh, she just kept coming back in and hanging out with us.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

How you guys doing? Like, they're talking and chatting away. Brett and I'll have a conversation. Turn around. She's handing us two more. I'm like, this girl's on top of it. Only got 38 minutes to make you happy. It's only gonna take a couple. Don't worry. Yeah, I think that's great, though. Restaurants should have more of that. I think they should have more people like, you know, I don't want you there. Our booze, we don't need you in here. Although big people in restaurants, you kind of like that idea. But I go to.

[Listener]

I might be better off on saying it's a. The menu. Items you can eat from.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, you get a menu, it's healthier. The bigger it is, the more you're allowed to eat. Yeah. If the bigger you go through the big door, you get salads.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You have to eat a like Texas grill, portioned. That's brilliant. Yeah.

[Listener]

Because the food is good. Because I'd be, you know, is bigger, which, you know, going through there. And I'm going to the restaurant. If the restaurant's not good, you know, then I'm not going back through that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But imagine if steak 44.

[Listener]

But you can earn your way up to. Finally.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're not allowed.

[Listener]

I can order anything off the menu.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. You get full. If you can get through the baby door, you're allowed to eat everything. And there's a special menu, like ice cream and. Yeah, like there's a whole Sunday cart. You go through the big door.

[John Holmberg]

Carrots and hummus.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right. You're not allowed to have dressing.

[Listener]

I was at everything at the menu and I've already dropped down a couple of levels.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's great. I like that a lot. Each slot has its own menu. The biggest one, of course, is you're basically down to just a grilled chicken, sir.

[Listener]

We're not allowed to serve you that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're allowed 8 ounces of grilled chicken and broccoli.

[Listener]

Brown rice.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No butter and brown rice.

[Listener]

Just the chicken.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's it.

[Listener]

Well, you can put some Mrs. Dash on.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, you can't, Brady. No, that's salt. You don't need that. No, that's plain grilled chicken, Mrs. Dash.

[Listener]

Boiled.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Who are you? See, this is why you can't fit through the skinny posts. You won't even take your 8 ounces of chicken that's boiled or then slightly grilled. No butter, no sides. But you slip through that skinny one and the next thing you know, you've got that glopper, mayonnaise and crab meat sitting on top of your filet. Oh, baby. Oscar style.

[Listener]

And I'll have a twice baked potato.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. In fact, bake it a couple more times, throw in some more butter. Make that thing kill me.

[Listener]

Get the nod from the guy from the other table, the big guy. How you doing over there? Eating his boiled chicken.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He's got a hard boiled egg with no yolk in it. This is what I'm allowed to have. And you wouldn't go out. That's what that's what RFK Jr's got to get going for all of us. And then I'm trying to do that.

[Listener]

You know, a little bit with the whole, you know, it's been a couple years but with the so soda. We're not limiting, you know, saying no more Big Gulps for people.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

People will figure that out.

[John Holmberg]

Make fat shaming great again.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I agree. It needs to happen. It's costing us all a fortune on our insurance and it's good for all of us to not do it again. There's. There's no pride in it. I remember when Lizzo was screaming how happy she was and then she. What she do. She lost weight and she's all happy about losing weight. There's never been a show on TV called the Biggest Gain Gainer. It's not something we try to achieve. Biggest Loser. And then at the end they're celebrating I lost 50 pounds.

[Listener]

Woohoo.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

There's nobody saying my 155 pound life on TV. And that's trying to fix that to be 600 pounds. It's just not a thing. And while we're at it, those thousand pound sisters. You know who I'm talking about?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They've. They've been deflated. I don't know. They look like tires that fell off a car and just laying in the freeway.

[Listener]

Fill them back up. They look a.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Fill them back up. B. What's with the one who went through all of this and won't get that tooth fixed? The one who got bit by the camel in the last episode. I haven't even watched it. No, she's in a car. She can't move still because she's just melted. She looks like she's been deboned. And then she's sitting in a car and they're going through one of those safari things and she's in the passenger seat and the camel just. Just takes a bite. Camel. And then she's just smiling. She's got that big gaping hole in her. I'm like, you've gone through all of this work and surgeries and whatever to lose all that.

[Listener]

Did I clamp on one of those hub it tricep flaps?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, yeah. It's exactly where it better. He just thought it was leftover something. There's a lot of meat on that bone. A lot. But she's got that missing tooth. Just fix the goddamn tooth. It would be so and and quit cutting your hair like he Man, I don't know what's with the like how much worse can you look Doll it up a little bit.

[Listener]

That's the producers.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You think?

[Listener]

Oh, yeah. We got to keep it that way.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I think they just knock a tooth out every time she gets it fixed.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one that's bearing banging Gary Payton.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. She had the skinny. She was banging the gloves.

[John Holmberg]

Is he still there?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No. Okay, well, she lost all that weight. Now she's just a bunch of skin laying around. She looks like a bare skin rug without any hair.

[Listener]

And I know they get paid, but eventually, maybe, maybe they'll get the. Well, if they did.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, they wouldn't have lost that weight. There's still like a thousand pounds. They're just. They're just deflated.

[Listener]

They're not ready for the apron removal.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Because they have too much.

[Listener]

They're ready.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You can apron remove off the gut, but then you have to do the arms. Yeah, her. Her legs are. Are. She's a melted candle.

[John Holmberg]

How do you watch this nightmare when.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The camel starts biting her? You can't turn it off. Like when a camel bites a fat lady. That's good quality entertainment. That should be a halftime show for sporting events, canal fans. A camel chases and bites a fat lady and then she just starts waddling around. And then. Let's bring out the camel. Camel. And then everybody gets a free T shirt. If the camel bites her. If it ignores her, we all lose. And you're rooting for that. The chick fil a cows are out there like cheering. It's a whole thing. It's a concept in my mind that would work, but. Yeah, I just get your tooth fixed. Start there and then we'll work on. Isn't there like skin graft, burn victims that we can combo up with the thousand pound sisters?

[Caller]

Help hundreds of people.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, yeah. We could take full. Like the lady who had her face ripped off by that chimpanzee. Can't we just pull some of that gunk off of the.

[Listener]

And start growing additional skin?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. The 600 pound sister, you put her in a fridge, you cut chunks of her off, and you save that for burn victims.

[Listener]

Skin farm.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. I mean, it's like what Jane Gumb was doing in Silence of the Lambs. You suck all their weight off, you loosen up their skin, and then you wear it as a suit. We could make a suit for burn victims.

[Listener]

Could make a couch.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. I don't know why you'd want to. You have a burn couch much? Let's help humanity first, Brady, before we lay down on her.

[Listener]

Yeah, there's. You're right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. But you could put A zipper on it and make a full outfit for people who have, you know, burns and make it look like they've got normal skin. You just. She's. She's. She's got the skin for three people. Oh, that show. But the Camel Bitter was great. And I don't know if you guys saw the thing in Scottsdale. This is the. The Airbnb nightmare. This is why I don't like Airbnb or VRBO for my own. I think it's a great setup. I've in Sedona, I was at one last year, and it was the nicest house I've ever been in. But then you find out, because these people in Scottsdale were like, this is the best Airbnb we've ever been in. And this. And the guy goes to bed after mounting his wife, and they had a nice Airbnb session. Rolls over, and he looks up at the fire thing, the fire alarm, whatever. Yeah. Smoke detector. And he's like, that's a camera. She's like, what? He goes, that's a camera. And he was in the industry of, like, I think he was kind of. He knew the, like, cop stuff about, like, hiding cameras. He goes, it's a camera. And he got up on the bed and he popped it off, and sure enough, it was a camera over the bed in the Airbnb in Scottsdale. And, you know, so he called the cops and, like, well, without you guys on it, it doesn't matter because it didn't film them. Like, so what? The card that was in there didn't film them. But he's like, what about all the other people? Like, you got to find them. They have to make the complaint.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And so, you know, he reported it, obviously, but that's. That's a rule, evidently, that, like. And he's like, I had just, you know, been intimate with my wife and this thing. And that's why I always say that, like, if you found cameras at a Marriott, you can. Sue Marriott. You can. There's. There's.

[Listener]

You get Aaron Andrews.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yes. And that was somebody dicking around. That wasn't even like, the. The. The place. But if. If, you know, if you found out.

[Listener]

Employee.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. If you found out the owner of the company, which is essentially the owner of the house, was, you know, filming everybody, you'd own the company. The big deal. This guy gets sued or gets a fine for having cameras. That's why it's always bad. I'm looking for someone to speak. Sue. I don't. Like. Like, if you showed up at your Airbnb, and it stinks. When I went to Kansas City, we got one, my friend Reggie and I, and it was all lies. The loft was nice, but they're like, it's just minutes from downtown. It was not.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

If I had a. If, you know, we. We ended up. We're minutes from downtown. Walking took us about an hour and a half.

[Listener]

That's probably the hardest thing to figure out right when you're doing. When you're going to a city you've never been to.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And, and you know the map well. Yeah, it's right.

[Listener]

Forever hotels.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

So then we, you know, we're halfway walking. We're like, we get an Uber and like, we walked this far. Let's finish it off, like 20,000 steps just to get down to the cruddy downtown Kansas City Power and Light, which. That place stinks. And then I started to wonder, did the owner of this place watch me whack it in the guest room three nights in a row? Because I did.

[Listener]

Well, you know, you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Listener]

The same thing is in the public areas. There's cameras set up. And I. You think about elevator cameras and hotels and resorts, and you see all those.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're not supposed to be banging your wife in the elevator. That's on you. Yeah. In a private bedroom bathroom.

[Listener]

So in the.

[Brady]

They.

[Listener]

They can just set them up in the hallways of the house.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You can't, you can't set up cameras inside the safety of the home that you're supposed to be staying in. It says the home is over by 124th street in Shea. It's a nice area. And police said that it was never registered as a short term rental, which I didn't even know he had to do. But there were other guests on there. There were intimate moments on the camera. They've, you know, they know that it was filming, they know that it was used, and there's nobody to go after other than, you know, you just can't rent this house anymore. You get kicked off the Airbnb site. If you walk into a place place and you're not happy with it. Like in a hotel, you're like, my room sucks. It's dirty. You go downstairs and you're like, all right, we'll get you another room or we'll send somebody. You go to an Airbnb, you're like, this is dirty. The best you can do is just review it and you're kind of stuck. It's. Yeah, you just, you know, what if you're going to an Airbnb on one of these weekends, check the fire detectors, the smoke detectors, because I would have never known they showed it. It looked like a smoke detector to me. But this dude's keen eye knew what to look for and saw it. And that's horrifying, because what if they're, like, live streaming? And again, if you want to watch me beat off, have at it. That's hilarious. I have no problem with that. You're the. That's. You're the weirdo. But, you know, it's those moments when, you know. You don't know you're being filmed and you're doing. You know, you got your thumb in places it doesn't go, and you're smelling your fingers, and people find out you're just a creep because you're allowed to be in your own house. Airbnb. Matter of time before that whole thing starts becoming just nothing but perverts. Hiding cameras. I would venture to guess 20% of those houses that rent out cameras in the vents, they're watching you have sex. Because nobody looks for that. I guarantee it. It's weirdos. It's weirdos who don't know, you know, it's not operating as a company. It's just some guy. I guarantee you, if you. If you frequented Airbnbs, if you. If you've gotten six or seven Airbnbs in your life, I mean, it looks.

[John Holmberg]

Just like a regular one.

[Listener]

Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You've been filmed twice. Hidden camera in a fake smoke detector.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Looking straight up in the morning. Or they woke up and they're like.

[Listener]

That'S a very odd place for smoke detector.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Detector.

[Listener]

And then they, you know, directly above the bed, suspicious.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They're like, why. Why would you have a smoke detector right there?

[Big Dick Toledo]

And then they looked up, and then they climbed up there and they. They opened it and found the camera inside.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The family from Arkansas suing the owner of the property. And Airbnb. We knocked on the door of the silver. You know, what are you suing for?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Invasion of privacy or something.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't know.

[Listener]

There's a camera in there, but there's no footage.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Footage, Right. Like, we didn't get you. And that's kind of what the cops were saying. It was like, if you're not on there.

[Listener]

Yeah, yeah. Nothing.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

How many times have we done stories of guys who will put cameras in public bathrooms? Right? And we're like, what is going on with that? It's an epidemic. Like, there's people who do this all the time now. You've given, like, a whole new place for them to do it. Oh, I can rent my house and watch people poop. I love that stuff. I'll just put a camera here. No one will notice. You're getting filmed all the time. You don't even a minute. Those Airbnbs are ripe for weirdos to watch you pee and poo. And who wants to watch a family from Arkansas have sex? Jesus. Maybe that's why the cameras weren't on. The family from Arkansas says, yeah, don't worry about it. We didn't roll film on you. You're good sometimes. I'm a legitimate business. I.

[Listener]

The brother and sister searches aren't high.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I just got done mountain my sister in that beautiful canopy bed, and I said, what in the hell? That thing on the safe ceiling? I said, get that out your mouth and climb up there and see what that is, darling. She did it. Yeah. You know, you're from Arkansas. Nobody's gonna watch you have sex. That's like saying the couple from Boston. Oh, we're not watching that. That's disgusting. Wicked hot. Keep. Keep going. Harder. Nobody wants to see that. Now the coeds from Dallas, the old mis. Gr. That little red light beeping. So, you know, a lot of you have that Airbnb.

[Listener]

That's why they're mad. There wasn't a red light.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Why didn't you film us? We just got done humping. I've been in this argument with plenty of people. Oh, you're a baby. You won't stay at an Airbnb. They're beautiful. My. All right. I don't know who the owner is. You can barely find the guy, and I don't know what his habits are. And this is the only place he's gotten or the only guests he has. He's filming us. He's doing something. It's too trusted. Disgusting. Much like a mobile restaurant. I won't eat there. Same with the Airbnb. I need a company to sue when things go sideways. And you know I'm serious because I'm using my presidential candidate voice. Anyway, what do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert?

[John Holmberg]

Wake up. So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course, with two locations over there on right off the Haas trailhead on our Road and McDowell, and of course, the original one at Gilbert Road and Southern. Gonna get all your bike needs dialed in for you. Maintenance, rentals, sales. You name it, they do it there. And I'll be out there next Thursday morning at one of the locations. So make sure you join me out there. I'll let you know when, which location, and what time, and all that kind of stuff. But actionride shop.com to get all your details.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Easy stuff. This guy says, I travel for work on the road a lot, and I think about hidden cameras in the hotels I stay in, mostly at Hilton's. And I don't know it for sure, but every time I'm looking in the mirror, I talk to it. Like, you like this, huh?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You like this? Just in case. Like, just. You let the person know that you know they're in there. Good point. Yeah. So, you know, Amazon's. Evidently Amazon sells camera detectors for this exact reason. I didn't know. So you have to turn the lights out.

[John Holmberg]

And, like, I think it makes a sound or something. Kind of like, you know, you see in James Bond movies where they scan for bugs and all that stuff. I think they have the same thing. Cameras.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No kidding.

[John Holmberg]

IR or so.

[Listener]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But does the camera have to be running?

[John Holmberg]

That I don't know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Or is it just because it's WI fi based that you it.

[John Holmberg]

That could be it, too. I'm not sure.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, yeah. And that's. Think about that. Michael's right. Michael Belchert's right. As a necessity, we invented camera detectors because so many weirdos out there are like, I'm filming you poop. I want to see that. And we had to invent something to stop those people because we couldn't find their camera. They got so good at it. There was a. An ID channel show about a girl who moved to Australia, and her boyfriend got so possessive, she wasn't allowed out of their beautiful apartment. And he found these cameras that were the size of nails, and he drilled into, like, just outside the front door. Door of their apartment. And you couldn't see it. Like, it was. It was like the head of a nail. You would never know it was there. And so every time the door would open, that camera would turn on. And he had it on his computer at work. Like, it would activate, and he'd text her, like, where are you going? How do you know where I am? I just taking a shot in the dark. And she didn't know. She couldn't figure it out. He had trackers all over her. The house just loaded, evidently. Epstein's house. House. The walls were just camera after camera after camera hidden in the walls on the staircases and in the rooms, which tells me exactly why that story dried up real fast as well, like they found over 135 cameras just in the walls. This story isn't nobody's. Nobody needs to see what happened in this house because all you'd see is, I love this place. Who's going to blow me first? Well, President Clinton. Just start picking. I want you and you and not you, Hillary and that one and that one.

[Brady]

That one.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Is anybody watching? Nope. You're all alone. All right. I need somebody performing on me and they. Do you want to see that? President Clinton bent over in a hallway while hallway wall cameras pick up somebody licking his butt.

[John Holmberg]

Think of the angles.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Cameras like us. It's like CBS. I view that full 360, somebody eating me.

[Listener]

Watch this. And now comes a couple of mini basketballs.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I gotta poop out eight basketballs for children. Watch this. Put an apple in my mouth. Scare me. He's just laying there with his hands tied behind his back and an apple in his mouth. Well, Lex Steel just goes to town. Nobody can see us. This is great. You're doing great, Bill. Excellent work. Hey, move out of the way. I want to turn on Bill's ass. Nobody wants to know what really happened in their eyes. Don't film. I don't have any. I would never want that. I would. I and the majority of Americans. Last thing I want to do is see most of you guys doing it. I've met you. I'll go to you fest in a couple of weeks. Count the amount of people you would want to film having sex in that crowd. You only need to be one armed man at the Suns game to get to the number. I'll tell you that.

[John Holmberg]

And that's only if you got backstage pass.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And that's maybe I'll get to 5. 5. Let's play that game this year at you fest. We'll wander through and say, find me a couple you would hide cameras for.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's going to be. It's going to be harder to find that than it will be an Easter cake wandering through the crowd, just looking around going, I don't want to watch any of these people.

[Listener]

So they just busted that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The coach from Michigan for putting cameras in.

[Listener]

He had over like I don't know how many thousand students the. And the laptops he hacked in.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, I saw.

[Listener]

And they. After the investigation, they found he had like150,000 videos.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But was that the one where they gave everybody laptops and then followed.

[Listener]

That was a school.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That was a full school.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. They're just blaming the state of Michigan. I get it. All I don't want to see. Like, think about it, Brett. And I'm in on this camp, too, but I'm gonna use him as an example. You got cameras in Brady's room. Are you ever going through your footage?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No way. Yeah, there's no way. I just for laughs.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm destroying my computer for his.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Retirement party in a few years or funeral, whichever comes first. We will show that videos like Brady didn't know is we had a camera. And I would just watch you with your CPAP just tugging away on your tummy. Hilarious. But I don't. I'm not watching that for gratification. Only for jokes.

[John Holmberg]

Making love to a piece of chocolate cake I have.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, he just hammers food.

[Listener]

Oh, man.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm not kicking you out of bed forgetting crumbs and sheets. I've seen myself doing it on video. Let me tell you, the There's a Pruder film was sexier. There's nothing about me getting it on. Oh, my God. Gross. Just this big white blob of humanity with two legs sticking out from under it. And there I am, just making all sorts of noises. Hurt. Hurt like somebody's punishing a camel. But you feel like a. You know, a Viking while you're doing it, but you don't look like it. You imagine Brady's little body all balled up, just rabbit humping something. Is it good for you.

[Listener]

Good for you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Wake up.

[Listener]

Are you still there?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't want to watch him. Toledo. Good. Christ. Thought the suns were dull. That's like watching the beach from the ocean's point of view. It's just sand anyway. Stop watching each other. And for God's sakes, if you want to see somebody pooping in a public restroom, just have the courage to kick the door in and take a look.

[John Holmberg]

Or hang yourself or kill yourself.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're not part of our world. All right. Give me some.

[Listener]

That could be good comedy, though.

[Caller]

Put it over.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Hey, who's the barber here? Shut your mouth. I put it where I want. I'm almost done. Go do the dishes. Why not? Get off of me now. Let me finish first.

[Listener]

Thank you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

All right, all right. That floor's not gonna mop itself. Let's go, toots. Go get me a wet rag, too, while we're at it. And do laundry. You pig. Put some pants on. You're me making sick. Yeah, I would watch. Okay? I would watch bre. I would watch your sex tape.

[Listener]

His hair is like M.O. from 3 Street.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Got to get it back out of his Eyes just laying there reading guns and ammo. And she reaches over and touches his thigh. Oh, is it on? There we go. I would watch Brett do it. Me. Me. It's sexier to read Ikea instructions. All right, go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

On the list, some for the one armed guy I fell asleep on my arm. One from Metallica, Prosthetics from Slipknot, Isaac Hayes. Shaft for one arm guy. And then we get into the sun stuff.

[Brett]

Beck.

[John Holmberg]

Loser. Seether.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. Mudvane Happy with a question mark For Suns fans. Static X Bled for days for Ishbia's checkbook. And then Iron Maiden wasted years for son fans.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

So true. I love blood for days because that thing is a. That is hemorrhaging. That checkbook is gushing. Guy spent $4 billion on the team and threw a half a bill at the payroll this year. Think about it. You're 4 billion into something. You spent 400 million on this year's product on top of the 4 billion to not to have have as many playoff games as this show does. You know how many playoff wins this this morning show is going to have this year? Same amount as the Suns. Zero. And let's. I'll take it once. How many playoff appearances. How many times are we going to suit up for a playoff game? Same amount as the Suns. Bled for days by Static X. That's perfect for Matt Ishpia's incredible checkbook. You got to get it together, Matt. It's Static Accents 98. Wake him up. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Listener]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I have heard enough of this.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yes, sir. MMP Guns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Nope. We work with all distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.com it sticks a little.

[Caller]

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[Dale Hellstrayer]

The old method of treatment for a.

[Brady]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

There's some falling in reverse for you. There are voices in my head. Brett and I were just talking about that. So sounds like Hollywood undead and Hamilton got together and made an album for you. I feel like Lin Manuel Miranda is behind them. That's a compliment. Dude can make magic out of just speeches by, you know, politicians. It's pretty amazing. It's 7:56 and it's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady report and it's barati by our friends at all Pro Shade Concepts, Arizona's best patio shades. We're going to hit 100 degrees here probably today. Tomorrow for sure. Today right around here. So it's hot. Yesterday I was outside for about 30. I rode my bike from my house to downtown at about 4:00 clock and I had a sweatshirt on because I like sweatshirts when I'm biking. And I realized, oh, we're at that. We're at that time now where this is. It's. We're just about ready to cook it. But it felt great. The heat's out. I was looking for shade, I'll tell you that. I didn't like standing in it.

[Listener]

Kirby had a tennis match yesterday and it was funny. It's just that heat on the tennis court, sports, and you're watching. Everyone's clustered into the shade.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Shade's huge. You start looking around it. Ever since we've talked about all pro shade, I start looking at people finding shade. My dogs, they all find shade. Playing with the dogs yesterday and they're all under the tree and I'm like, guys, I'm over here. It's not that hot yet. My dogs are bougie. But you get some shade in that backyard and you've created a great space for you and your pets and anybody else that comes to your house and it Looks beautiful too. They make it, they make it a great addition to your house. Property value enhancer. It's all that stuff. Great installation. The product is top notch and Brady's got it at his place. You can get that thing done. It does self retraction and bad weather. It's the best in the, it's the best they have out there. This is the technology you want. And plus, you get an outdoor space that you can use as indoor space even when it's a little warm out there. All you have to do is head over to allprochade.com and get it started right now. Now. Brady reported.

[Listener]

Good Thursday morning to Phoenix.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Listener]

Happy national Siblings Day.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, that ain't happening.

[John Holmberg]

Gonna make that phone call?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Nope.

[Listener]

A poll, a recent poll found 88% of us grew up with at least one brother or sister. But the best number of siblings to have none siblings have.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I've Brady, I can speak from experience. I've had one and I've had no, none. And it's far, it's vastly superior. Once I went to zero. 20 still alive, but is she.

[Listener]

26% said two siblings. 19 said one, 18 said three.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Okay, what's going on, little hiccup?

[Listener]

Oh, it's also national hug your dog day.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I can do that. Got another email from a guy who lost his dog, a cattle dog named Indy. So tip your, tip them back for that. Geez Louise. The stories just get, every day I get another person telling me that. But you know what the good news is, so many of you dog owners email me and say my 15 year old, blah, blah, blah, my, my 17 year old Chihuahua, my, you guys are running the race, man. We got a lot of people with their dogs that are, you know, at max capacity of life and I think that's great. So good job being dog owners. Phoenix, this audience, researchers in England looked.

[Listener]

At how much happier we are when we have a pet and they managed to put a dollar figure on it. They say having a dog or a cat makes you as happy as you'd be earning an extra $90,000 a year.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I've got five dogs and a cat. Wow, that's, it's like $540,000. I'm going to tell you right now. Let me tell you, it is not a, a fact. That study is they're not worth half a million dollars of I can't take my happiness and go get like a condo.

[Listener]

I don't know if it increases for each pet. Oh, if it's just having, having that pet Multiple. Maybe it's the same.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Cuz I love them, each and every one of them. But they cost me more money than they. Than they bring in. But yeah, same with, with Megan.

[Listener]

They put in the last little.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I mean most guys can say that about whatever's in their house.

[Listener]

That's when this last little line. Mike, the authors of the study also say being married ups your ha. Happiness by an extra 90 grand a year too.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Did she just get a job or something? I don't know, like she just got a raise.

[Listener]

Got a couple of bases from facts. The California Institute of Technology baseball team once had a decade long 228 game losing streak lasting from 2003 to 2013.

[Caller]

And they kept playing. How, how do you recruit to that team?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

2003 to 2013, they didn't win a game.

[Listener]

Caltech's men's basketball team ended a 310 game conference losing streak. No, nerds say athletics was not the top priority at Caltech.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I guess not. Why even have it? Just for the last.

[Listener]

I think we've done this one before. Yeah. Need some activity.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Why you don't go?

[Listener]

Well, a chance to get scholarship money.

[Caller]

We got five students in the gym tonight.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Go to those little weird spot. Weld things on those computer chips. Tech boy.

[Listener]

Lobster. Lobsters weren't always considered a delicacy.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, they were.

[Listener]

Before the 1800s, lobsters were called the cockroaches of the sea.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And they were prison food. Right?

[Listener]

Fed to the prisoners to save money. CNN has a video clip ready to air. If the world is about to end. It's a band playing the song Near My God to thee.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Jeez, what is it?

[Listener]

Nearer My God to the is the name of the song.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Okay.

[Listener]

There are 11 US states that only have one area code. Alaska, Delaware, Hawaii, Maine, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Vermont and Wyoming.

[Caller]

It's the song that band on the Titanic was playing as it.

[Listener]

Was that what it is?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I was gonna say. I've heard that. Why do I know that? Interesting.

[Caller]

This is.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

This is the song they were playing in the movie.

[Listener]

So if you hear this, you know what's going on.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, not necessarily. Great, huh? Your boat's thinking.

[Caller]

Tune into CNN for info and this.

[Listener]

Is gonna be it.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

All right, so this is the ones turned off. It's terrible. It's all on. And so there's still people watching television?

[Listener]

I. I guess so. Or just maybe they continue it as long as the signal's going.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Wow. CNN is just playing music right now like some sort of weird MTV I've got no information on why this world's exploding around us.

[Caller]

It's glorious.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Is it because Jesus returns? Is that what they said? Or is it any sort of catastrophe?

[Listener]

Only if it's the end of the world. They feel that they're making the call. CNN's Making the Call early. This is the end of the world.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They get the little boy.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

All right, let's go to the big board and see if it's time to call it. Yeah, we're gonna go ahead and say it. Breaking news, msnbc, guys. Yeah. The guy that circles the board. All of this Eastern seaboard's gone, guys. I think it's time we strike up the band. Next we're looking at here, here, and here. Fox knows first to call it here.

[Listener]

Sean Hannity telling you they've got fireworks squad.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. They're thrilled because Jesus is floating down. That would be kind of neat, though, if this started on CNN and you just see just this giant image floating down. I. I hope Brady's people are right. The Germans that the. No, I. I hope Brady's people are right that he does come back and this happens. Because I would be like, oh, dying, laughing at all the people that I told you so crowd. We wouldn't handle it well. Muslims would be shooting at them, but not you. Like, if he comes back, I will. I'll piss myself laughing. I know what I mean. I'm not going back with him. I've done too much damage to his name. But I would find it hysterical to watch all the people crying. And I'd be like this glorious glowing beast.

[Caller]

Be like a 60s monster movie. You'd have to have Jesus and Muhammad.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Coming back into the battle like Godzilla. Yeah, And Mothra. They'd be in the sky fighting, stomping on Tokyo. God, I hope your people are right.

[Listener]

And I don't think it's like a battle like the Godzilla, you know, Muhammad in our world. I think it's like Thanos.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I want it to take forever. I think he's a showman. I think he comes out and at first it looked like the sun's getting real close. S O N. And it starts getting close, and then you realize, holy cr. That's. And then one guy would throw a rock and it would be hilarious. From, like, from there on, nobody would treat him. It right. We. We can't handle anything. Like, nobody would unite over that whole thing. People would be mad. The Jews would look at each other like, whoops, I guess he was divine. And then they throw rocks at him.

[Listener]

AI experts are cautioning people to be careful what they share with AI chatbots. Chat GPT. Oh, here are some examples. Your passwords. Don't tell it to remember your passwords.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Why would you?

[Listener]

You might end up on the dark web someday.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Why in the world would you tell chat GPT to be your memory?

[Listener]

Also stuff that can be used to steal your identity, like your passport info, Social Security.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Isn't that just supposed to go in like a file in your phone anyway? Like if you're gonna put it in your phone, why do you need AI to be part of that?

[Listener]

They could ask AI to put it in their phone. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I don't talk to them people down the hall anyway, so it doesn't matter to me.

[Listener]

Simple financial information, same thing. Don't share things like bank account a number. Bank account numbers.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

How do you think the gays are behind it?

[John Holmberg]

No, not them.

[Listener]

Not them.

[John Holmberg]

Which one said chatgpt?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, that. Oh, I see what he's saying. I missed it. I thought you were blaming the gays. Yeah, when he said I don't go down talk to them down the hall, I automatically assume that was your bigotry.

[Listener]

Here's a little something I talked about.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Chat GPT is the other radio. I know what you're saying.

[Listener]

Illegal activity. Even if you're joking, OpenAI does track chats. Their privacy policy says that you can use your. They can use their data to detect or prevent illegal activity. They can still share it with authorities if it's required by law.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, I think the muffins out of.

[Listener]

The tiny on that embarrassing secret secrets. Hackers can use them to blackmail you for money. It's your bartender. I guess you're going to chat GPT.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I suppose. Yeah. You're telling somebody. You don't think confessing that won't judge you.

[Listener]

And the last one's corporate info.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Muffins are out of the 10 on your whole giving your information out. We're way gone on that one. Every one of us. If you've got a phone, you overdid it.

[Caller]

If you have one social media account you've given to much your Social Security.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Number is everywhere the second you get a phone. Yep. So you're everybody's got it.

[Caller]

And I like how everybody glosses over all these leaks that have happened. Like you've been hacked a few times. I've been hacked?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I got a letter the other day.

[Caller]

That said you get free generators. I get nothing.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, we're pretty sure that you've got like 55 things on your phone that have been compromised. Think about changing your password. And I'm like, I. I can't. Because if I change my password, I won't remember it ever again. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna get locked out of everything. So if India wants it, they can have it. All I'm asking is that the hackers don't change my password. Let me still have at it. It's worth the cost of you buying a few things on my amex and me canceling it later. Just don't change my passwords. I'm down to like three. I remember them and I can type in anything. Know it's whenever I don't remember a password. Like, it's one of these three. And that's what that I'm rolling the dice on.

[Listener]

A couple that says, let us choose.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, I had a couple of those.

[Listener]

It'll say we'll remember it. You want us to say yes? Yeah, but there's no way of recalling.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, it's XRL dash. Yeah, I can't do any of those.

[Listener]

There's some irate people in a Chick fil a in California because a Waymo car, driverless, it glitches out in line at the Chick fil a in Santa Monica.

[Caller]

Wait a minute. You can take Waymo through the Chick Fil a? Drive thru.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It got lost in the line, I think. I think it thought it was going.

[Caller]

Into telling it to people.

[Listener]

Thought it was Satan blocking.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I think it thought it was getting into traffic and heading out of the parking lot. But it ended up in a Chick fil a line.

[Listener]

We got this guy from Chatham County, Georgia. He called 911 earlier this year, year after his wife called him at work saying someone was snooping around their house, banging on the doors and windows. It was someone they knew he initially called, but they did know that at the time. But they called the 911 dispatcher. And the lady's like, okay, we will get someone over there. I'll take the McGriddle. She ordered her breakfast in the middle of the night.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It wasn't that big an emergency. She had it handled. And she wanted to McGriddle the breakfast ordering.

[Listener]

Dispatcher's actions are under review.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Now, if you're talking about it, she's fired.

[Listener]

But with the unanswered calls, the history of abandoned calls, this person mixing work with a break, probably a bigger, you know, office issue going on.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I was very close to being a 911 operator when I was like, 22 it was an ad, good money. All you had to do was sit in a room. I sat in a room with a bunch of people. I told you guys that I was sitting in that thing and they just said okay, here's how it's going to work. Some of you are going to do it, some of you aren't. They just basically were looking for well spoken people who were patient. I was not qualified for it and they were going to give me the job. I had to be the smarter person. Basically say this isn't this. I probably shouldn't be doing this.

[Listener]

We have a friend that hurt his sister, did it for you know, so many years. You can only do it. It's taxing. Oh that one guy that wanted to.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Kill himself that emailed us and said the things I hear and he got one call or I think something horrible happened while he was on the call and he took, he like felt like he was partially to blame for why it didn't. I'm like that's terrible. I wouldn't want that pressure.

[Caller]

Our cartel friends, one of their daughters was doing the 91 1.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They let a lot of people do it that shouldn't do it. Yeah, like just college kids.

[Listener]

This 70 year old lady from St. Louis has been arrested a 70 year old Brenda Deutsch on child abuse charges last weekend. They say she'd been abusing and mistreating a teenage girl and was supposed to be caring for. They're still looking into it but she may have agreed to give the girl to someone in Texas if they gave her a pet monkey in return. She traded the girl out and this lady has fostered, they're saying over 200 other kids over the years.

[Caller]

How many has she sold?

[Listener]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They have to look into that now. How many monkeys? She's got three or four monkeys. There's three or four kids missing.

[Listener]

She is, you know, she was trading. She happens not only fostering kids, she also owns some exotic pets and the guy she's trade was trading with had exotic pets as well.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

To their down there's a mug shot of 70 by the way, who's trading human babies for monkeys, right. If you've got a monkey, the I'm taking only cash. I don't want a human child and I'm not bartering Brady style. The last thing I want, I've got a cooler product that's like trading Kevin Durant straight up. You get draft picks for that. Like if it's human baby for monkey you got to throw in something extra yeah, the monkey is the price.

[Listener]

That guy, probably. I'm getting a smoking deal.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. I can make a human baby that's easy. Pregnancy is the most overblown, overrated, over dramatic thing that keep trying ever been in the history of man. I know, ladies, I know. But you hear it from me first. Pregnancy is easy. Everybody's done it.

[John Holmberg]

There we go.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I know, Brad. It just gets on my. It gets on my nerve to watch everybody. Him and Oliver. How hard pregnancy us when we have 8 billion people on the planet? Can't be that hard. Oh, Jesus. This lady. Show me a picture of these. Whoa. She looks like Dr. Yes. No wonder she's attracted to apes.

[Caller]

We sure that's a female?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't know what that is, but she has Edgar Winter's hair and tan Mom's face.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. If you had a monkey and I had a human baby and you said, want to trade? I'd be like, I'm getting away with murder here. This is you. Here's the baby. Give me that monkey.

[Caller]

Iggy Pops more attractive.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It looks like Iggy Pop's mom. You know you're ugly when somebody says Iggy Pop's mom. Looks like.

[Listener]

The vice president of the Bikers Against Child Abuse got arrested for. Oh, no.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Trading kids for monkeys.

[Listener]

Disseminating child pornography. Boy charged with promoting a sexual performance by a child and possession. Possessing a sexual performance by a child.

[Caller]

Promoting.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Wait. Possessing a sexual performance.

[Listener]

Yeah. Possessing a sexual performance by a child.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

A video of.

[Listener]

It's gotta be the video.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You can't just have a constant perpetual motion.

[Listener]

That's how you have to word it in the charging.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Or it's just not printed it. Well.

[Listener]

Seriously, I told you this.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Even at this moment, your kid's 19, you'd trade him for a monkey?

[Caller]

For a monkey?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. That be awesome. Yeah.

[Caller]

There's a couple cool monkeys we saw in Thailand.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Nobody comes. Oh, and that. Yeah. Watching that white lotus, that was the only good part of the show. Seeing the monkeys running around like, God, that would be cool. I'd much rather have that than. Than your son in my house and you. Nobody ever.

[Caller]

He's about ready to move back too.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, there we go. Nobody, buddy. Well, it's not too late. You need to call this guy Brady was talking about and trade out.

[Caller]

Give me that story.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, get Edgar Winter over the place. And nobody's ever come over to someone's house and went, oh, you've got a kid. Cool. They come over and they say, you've got a monkey.

[Caller]

You've identified him for years. The frigid women love coming over when you have kids, young kids, babies especially.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Frigid women don't come over to anyone's house. They're never invited. They have to be in the office. When somebody who has.

[Caller]

That's true.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You know, working ovaries and ovums and eggs and. And all that, and they bring their baby to work, then they turn into primates and run down the hall. Human baby, human baby. But if you've got a. If. If I went to Brett's house and there was a kid there, I'd be like, what's this kid doing here? He's wrecking everything. If I went to Brett's house and there was a monkey like, Brett, unchain that thing. Let's let her loose. What does it do? What does it do? That's an interesting.

[John Holmberg]

Better chance than a monkey.

[Listener]

200, you know, 200 children fostering the whole time. It's like, you know, out of 200, there's going to be one I can't fix. I'll take the monkey if you're good with this.

[Caller]

Seeing it the wrong way. She had 200 clients that she was selling.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She's a little old now, but let's go back eight years. And Brady, you say to me, come over the house. Keep an eye on Kirby. Like, all right. And Kirby and a monkey are there. Do you think Kirby's getting any attention at all? Yeah, it's not happening.

[Listener]

Fair point there.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Kirby's just getting monkey food for me. Go grab some more monkey kibble. I. I think it's hungry. It keeps sucking on my nipples.

[Listener]

Did anybody know that the border security expo was going on here downtown at the convention center?

[Caller]

We can. Can we go to it? Is it open to public?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I think it's. I rode by, like when I rode my bike down there. I went right by the convention center through the weekend.

[Listener]

It started on Tuesday.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They have all their placards and their lanyards on and I didn't know what it was. Brady told me this morning. It's all border security stuff. Coolest trucks you've ever seen in your life.

[Listener]

Yeah. They not only talking about what they're doing, and we were talking about. What's his name, Tom Homan, the border czar.

[Caller]

Was Barbie here?

[Listener]

I think he.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I think they all spoke because RFK was here. Shelly Boggs sat and had lunch with him.

[Listener]

Oh, and Homan said he wants the immigrant exportation.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Go down like Amazon. I mean, we're exporting close enough. Not Exporting them import exports.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Some Mexicans come, some Mexicans go. That's a tariff. I put a tariff on the. On the lazy ones.

[Listener]

He basically wants work at, like, Amazon Prime.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right. In other words, wow, they're going to deliver a Mexican really quick overnight.

[Caller]

Overnight shipping.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Gonna be a Mexican on your porch in a box.

[Listener]

But here's the technology.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You don't even have to pay for the shipping.

[John Holmberg]

That's great.

[Listener]

Here's the border buggies that their company's putting out right now. Things armed with multiple rifles.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, man, you're just. It's the coolest buggy ever. Yeah. You'll go out to your door, it's like, hey, we got a package. Let me out of here, sucker. I think it's a Mexican. Tom Holman sent us one. Can we trade him for a monkey? Don't trade me for a monkey, sucker.

[Listener]

Craft Mac and cheese, sucker. It's rolling out a new Mac and cheese flavor for the summer with a smoky sweet notes of barbecue.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody's getting hard off. Somebody is getting hard.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I think we need to put up this queen like we're at a Gallagher show. Brady's about to blow.

[Caller]

Is it tough for you to sit on that story for the first, what, 20 minutes?

[Listener]

Yeah, I had to wait a little long for that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

All those other stories were foreplay. Now I'm ready to unload on you.

[Caller]

Oh, no.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Pray to give me five seconds and read it again. Oh, sweet, sweet barbecue. What is it on Kraft Mac and cheese. Oh, this on the heels of yesterday's Cinnabon sandwiches with ice cream middles.

[Listener]

You put that with some pulled pork, Ralphie. Oh, my God.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Ralphie and Brady are gonna ball up. We're gonna twine up like a couple centipedes and just have food sex with each other. It's gonna look like we were eating ass all night.

[Listener]

But that's just chocolate.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't care. Don't judge. Pinch me.

[Listener]

Dum tums.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Dum tums. That's right, Freddie. Hot garbage. You and I sitting there all balled up.

[Listener]

Me inside of you, you inside of me.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Food going in every hole. I'm gonna teach Brady's ass to chew.

[Caller]

I could do it like one of Brett's videos.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

My mouth is full, but I got other holes that can eat. It all goes to the tummy eventually. Get in my belt. Oh, Mac and cheese with barbecue dust.

[Listener]

Oh, I gotta go. I gotta go. I've got one radio video. It happened in Philadelphia at a funeral. I don't know if you saw this or not. But this family in North Philadelphia was burying a relative, and the pallbearers fell into the.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They went in the hole.

[Listener]

The platform of the. Around the hole, collapse, carry it all.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The way to the hole.

[Listener]

Now on this one, thought they used.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

To put it up on, like, a gurney.

[Listener]

And then this one they did.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's Philly idiots.

[Listener]

The son of the deceased was one that.

[Caller]

He was under the coffin.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I heard.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They have video of this.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Holy smokes. Here we go. Okay. Somewhere on there. There it is. Right there. That's just a picture.

[Listener]

That's just a picture.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, this is not gonna be good. Terribly wrong. A grieving family is speaking out today after Paul bears OG and it was all captured on video. Here we go.

[Listener]

Short steps.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The pallbearers carried Benjamin Avilas to his final resting spot. As they began to lay down the casket, the platform above the burial site collapses, sending the men plunging into the burial site. It was just a horrible incident that happened in a.

[John Holmberg]

Bad mistakes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Avilas's stepdaughter, Maribel Rodriguez, says the man who fell into the hole suffered injuries mostly to their legs, hands, and back. Avilas's son suffered the worst of it. The casket laid on top of him, and he was out like a light. His face was in the mud. She and her family blame Greenmount Cemetery and the Rodriguez funeral home for what she calls subpar conditions for a barrel burial. Maribel Rodriguez says no relation to the funeral home. The whole thing was trembling. It was like, wow, that was the dead guy.

[Listener]

We've had a hundred funerals. No problem. We had no idea this payload would be.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You guys come in here like you're cutting water weight all over. It's your fault you fell in the hill. You guys and all your Philly cheese steaks. You're. You're too fat to carry your dead friend.

[Caller]

I love the news and tragedy. That's the fourth time they replayed.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, the news is like, is this a catastrophe or what?

[Listener]

Here's a different angle.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Let's take another look. How many people were filming that guy going into the earth? I've never seen anybody film a funeral.

[Caller]

Say, what are you. Where are you showing.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Watch this. This is him going in. You guys.

[Listener]

Roll.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Roll the film. I want to watch this later with. Eagles are on them. Keep my eye on the Phillies. They're playing the Braves.

[Listener]

Maybe it's for your storage, you know? And it gives you a memory from four years ago.

[Caller]

Oh, my God.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

God.

[Listener]

So you remember when he died? Yeah, that's the one that. Oh, I did take a picture of that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Hey, you guys remember when Ava. Let's throw that up. Throw that on the screen there, Pastor Whiz. This is great stuff. Watch Ava. His whole family goes in. Sun's underneath that casket.

[Caller]

You got a wit.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You get the wit. Come on. Hey, past the water.

[Listener]

That's a bit, you know, you think about it. The platform. Platform. I dug a big hole.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I've never seen anybody walk over the hole.

[Listener]

That little.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Look, my friend.

[Listener]

You know, the opening wide enough, maybe a foot on each side for the width of the casket to drop it down.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They had the last one I was at. They had like, refrigerator straps and they had like. He was on a crane.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And they had the thing above it. And then the guys. Paul beared it out of the car over to the gurney that then hooked up to this crane that hovered above the horse hole. And then they dipped him down in there.

[Listener]

The last one I saw, people weren't doing. People didn't pay for the casket. They just rolled the body.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Reusable.

[Listener]

Here, you can borrow the casket.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I've always thought that they should have.

[John Holmberg]

Rent to own or what.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The bottom should be a trap door. Oh, and then they just put the casket over the top and then shroud it.

[Caller]

And then you never see.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Would see the body fall into the hole. And then they pull it back out. And then later guys bury it.

[Caller]

I like that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's a bad better way. I don't know why we have to be in a box. Wow. I would have. I would pay money to be at that. Scoot over.

[Listener]

Did I break the seal?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're getting a bad angle. I'm going to want to watch this over and over and over and over again.

[Listener]

Yeah, but his son was in the mode.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Billy Pride. Grease says Paul. Go Eagles.

[Listener]

That would have been funny if it wasn't eagle casket.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I have never. Oh, I've been to four funerals in my life.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I've never once watched anybody film that part.

[Caller]

You've been to four?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Listener]

I didn't look around. I mean, the ones the last time.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Of course. You've been doing.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute, Wait a minute.

[Listener]

I didn't look around to see if anyone was filming. There's enough people there that could have, I guess.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Who films this?

[Caller]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's a no camera zone.

[Caller]

It's a no need for cancer.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

There's nothing's gonna happen. Well, you know. Know what? Maybe I say nothing's gonna happen. And then six fat Philadelphians fell in a hole with a dead guy.

[Listener]

Someone couldn't be there, or they're. They're shopping. Like, hey, I like the way they do it here.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm not gonna make it over there, but I'm taking a boat. I'm taking a boat out in the water. So film up. Avila's going in the dirt. I want to see it.

[Caller]

FaceTime me, will you?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, throw it up there. Live well, you can make it. No, I'm gonna go to the Pigley. I got to go to high V and grab some water.

[Listener]

That lumber snapping the fat guys.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's not the funeral home's fault that the lumber didn't keep. That's great stuff. I hate to laugh at that, but, I mean, if your final resting place started off hilarious, you'll never forget that funeral. No, that's one that you're like, he died doing what he loved, and then maybe he felt. Wouldn't it be awful if, like, he died falling down and it was just a constant stream of him tumbling?

[Listener]

What if it was arranged? He's like, one last laugh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, that'd be some. Brady would do.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Watch. They're gonna die.

[Listener]

I killed at my own Fears are Funny.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Nailed it. No, Brady would do, like a fart noise inside the box as they're walking inside the casket. God damn it, Brady put a fart machine in there.

[Listener]

Catch him one last time.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Little dead bodies giggling. There you go, slapjacks. Open the gate. It stinks in here. So dumb. And all the Paul bears. He's so dumb.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I want to be a pall bearer now.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

So dumb. All right, what do you got? Right. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Start this one over again. Let's. What the hell? Let's start with a little breakfast.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, God. Breakfast lady has a spectacular B hole. Her legs are spread. It's time for breakfast. She's.

[Listener]

She's upside down. That's a serving spoon.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He's putting a serving spoon in her butthole, which has been pried open by one of those things. And he's pulling out crunch. And he's feeding her the cereal down on the ground, and she's eating it right over her own butt.

[Listener]

She's pretty.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She's gorgeous. The milk is leaving me confused. Milk all down my back. My hair.

[Listener]

Oh, that's with crunch berries, too.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, that's.

[Listener]

That's the good stuff.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oops. It's oops.

[John Holmberg]

Notices that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Wow.

[Caller]

Is this at Scottsdale Airbnb?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She somewhat beautiful. Are they listening to KUPD there? That sounded a little bit like they might have been listening to us. Wouldn't that be ironic.

[Caller]

Sounded like gnr.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's Brady's, right? It's Crunch Berries.

[Caller]

Of course he's right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I like cereal.

[Listener]

But of all the cereals to try out of them.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't like Crunchberries. I'd rather wait a minute all the time.

[Brett]

Hold on.

[Listener]

What would be your preferred? That would be it.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

If you were going to eat cereal out of a hot girl's bottom.

[John Holmberg]

For sure.

[Caller]

All right, what would be the lowest on the list?

[Listener]

Let's flesh this out.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Kashi.

[John Holmberg]

Grape Nuts.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Doesn'T want healthy food coming out of it.

[Listener]

I didn't eat Grape Nuts growing up.

[John Holmberg]

Did you?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Do you realize that I didn't think like if I'd have gone back in time if I had a time machine and went back to 12 year old Brady and said on 4-10-20 you will discuss preferred cereals out of an anus and you will be the one who brings it up.

[Listener]

No talking.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You will do this at 8:27 in the morning. I would never do that. Not only will you talk about it, it will be broadcast over the airwaves.

[John Holmberg]

It has been so it has been said.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Fruity Pebbles trust future boy. It's Crunchberry by the way. Well, I mean that I'm eating that out of an ass. I'd eat the Crunch Berries out of her ass. That's Brady's new T shirt by the way.

[Brady]

Here's the.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Here's something somebody invented on email. And we have to do this. It's called Just tuned in theater. Theater. Where the words we say right as you turn the radio on. I'm hoping that there's a nun and her mother and they're going to the doctor and their. Their son left it on KUPD last night. And they start the car and they hear. The first thing they heard to start their day is I need to crunch Berries out of her ass. What are you listening to? Is that legal? I would like that. I would. Fruity Pebbles would be sidewalk eggs. Yes. Sidewalk eggs. I would. Fruity Pebbles would be a strawberry strong. That would be tough to.

[Caller]

But man gotta eat those quick though.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You know what I really like? This would be interesting. Is it. What's the Golden Grams? Is that the one with the cinnamon dust?

[Listener]

Yeah. Well.

[John Holmberg]

Or Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is too much.

[Listener]

But Golden Grahams.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Golden Grahams is like the perfect symbiosis of graham and cinnamon and. But it turns the milk into the. The most. Like put a straw in there and get the milk out.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I would eat that out of an ass.

[John Holmberg]

What About Cocoa Puffs.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Crunchberry I don't like turns into chocolate milk. You wouldn't know what you're doing there.

[Listener]

That's what a bunch of people have said.

[John Holmberg]

There you go, covering it up.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't. I don't think I like that at all. Not even a little bit, but yeah. So there are cereals you would eat out of an ass, but not kashi. We got to keep it healthy.

[John Holmberg]

Or Grape Nuts.

[Listener]

First off, I'm not Special K with strawberry.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Not eating some vegan's ass. That's not happening. I want Brady to eat out of people's butts. We placed these foods. Are we gonna starve you for like, a week and then put. All the food you can have is only in butts served in speculums anyway. All right, Brett, go ahead.

[John Holmberg]

The other way would be Lucky Charms, too, so.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, live, man. That would be. I don't think the. I don't think the butt would wreck that.

[John Holmberg]

You know, when we talk about the hot chicks at bus stops, this is what you get after that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Sick of this.

[Listener]

It's time me to put all this.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Out here, y' all. Ho, man. I just want y' all to know one thing about that little Jessica Gil. This. This. This What?

[Listener]

This what?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The whole e. What's going on? Is that his pee pee? What's he got going on there? What is that treated. That's that what she like, man? Faithfully, man. What am I looking at? I think those are warts all over his penis.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Me, bro, we going. We f to the hoes out here, man. We f. These. He's blaming the woman for that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Want to play game? Yeah. No, his penis was. It looked like it was a little ashy.

[Caller]

It was ashy, and it was. Had a bunch of carbuncles on it.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, I. Is that what those are called?

[Caller]

I don't know, but that's what they look like.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't know. What a car and.

[John Holmberg]

John, you're. You're a sneaker head.

[Listener]

A log after a campfire.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The next.

[John Holmberg]

Whoa, John, you're a snaker head.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Look at that ass.

[Caller]

What is wrong with it?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That. Oh, they have a lot of lubricant in the. Man. That's a bottom. Is that a baseball cleat or is that a soft bottom?

[Listener]

That's. What do they call them? A kit? Soccer kit.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, it's a soccer. Well, Soccer kit's the jersey. This is a. This is a shoe.

[Caller]

That's not a bike.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's a soccer shoe all the way In. No. And it's puma, if I'm not mistaken. And it is all the way in. The only thing, it's got a string out. And he's shaved his bottom recently. And he's got razor burn on. On his butt. And here comes the shoe. Yeah, that's a soccer shoe.

[Caller]

I think you're being generous to his butt.

[Listener]

I think.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You don't think that's razor burn. Is there a second shoe? Did he put both. He put a pair of shoes in his ass. There's another just tuned in theater.

[Caller]

He put a pair of shoes in his ass.

[Brady]

It is.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He did. They're both in there.

[John Holmberg]

There's a pair. Two size 12s.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The world has got to be coming to an end.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think we can top that one today.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, yeah, that was.

[John Holmberg]

That was for Brady because Bailey was a little pissed off. You said the videos were getting a little soft lately.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, that. I don't know what that was. Tom said or. Yeah, he said. When I tuned in this morning, the radio came on and the first thing I heard was I jerked off to boxing. Helena. Yeah, I wonder. Tune in. Tell us what the first words you hear when you start it.

[Listener]

When the alarm goes off.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, when the alarm goes off and you hear. I'd eat the crunch berries out of her ass.

[Listener]

Kid in the car, man.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The old captain down in there.

[Brady]

Hey, Brady.

[Listener]

Hey, Capping.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Anyway, someone else pointed out that this sun season was their dedication to Al McCoy, too. I forgot about that. This one's for Al.

[John Holmberg]

They played dead.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, I was more lively this year than. And you know what Al says to you about your dedication season? Hey, you stupid sons.

[Listener]

Put it in a deep free.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, put me in the deep freeze. That would be great if that was Al McCoy's casket going in. Like, I hope something stupid like that happens to mine. Like those Iranian things when they run through the crowds of people and they spill them over and over and over and they keep putting them back in. Those are some exciting funerals. Well, there you go, everybody. That is your Brady report. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[Listener]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I have heard enough of this.

[Brett]

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[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's John Holberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Twenty years ago, the Core Institute began and it's a better way of caring for people. And there are a lot of people who are coping with pain in their bodies every day. The Core Institute specializes in helping the pain disappear. And I speak from experience. Here I am now living pain free and enjoying all the things I absolutely love to do. So if you're living in pain, you don't have to anymore. The Core Institute has been here for 20 years and they're going to be here for a lot longer than that. And you can stop living with pain and start saying yes to all the things you love to do. Go to the Core Institute. Dot Comberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a.

[Brady]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, I think we absolutely need to have the game, you know, just tuned in theater because there's a lot of people saying the first time, first, I don't know what this means, but this person said it was years ago the first time I ever tuned in. Tuned in. And you said, it's a different world when you've got one of those in your ass. And I've been listening ever since. I don't even know what we were talking about. Seems to be a theme, though, with things going into bottoms. It's a. Yeah, it's a strange thing, but there are. So I said, I'm going to keep a list for you of just turned on the radio quotes. I listen all morning. So I have a feeling that if we take them out of sequence, there's going to be a lot of things you hear that you just won't know for the end of the year. Yeah, send us that. We'll have the bandwidth names and then the Just tuned in theater. I don't think there's. We had it earlier this morning with. I jerked off. I would. I jerked off to boxing Helena and I did. And I'm proud of it. But I need to crunch berries out of that ass as Brady unexpected to say the least. When they do dirty dining sometimes, you know, you'll have those things where they say, oh, the band aid was, you know, a lot of times it's nothing. It's, you know, the chicken was stored above the st. I don't know that anybody really cares. So long as it's not like touching the.

[Listener]

Yeah, it can drip down into chicken out on the shelf.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right. Some of that stuff, you're like, okay, clean it up. That's fixable.

[Listener]

The headlines on the standard stainless shelf next to the cleaning products. Now you got something.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

This is the one. What did we have a couple weeks ago?

[John Holmberg]

Was the diarrhea medicine above the chicken or something?

[Listener]

Diarrhea medicine sitting next to.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And then the other one of the. The. What was the kit? Didn't have a.

[Listener]

A first aid kit.

[Brady]

It was.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, but it wasn't first aid. It had a different name. It was like, oh, yeah, yeah. Clean wound or something. Yeah. And we're like, I don't remember that. This one has. This is the list topper for the dirty stuff dining. You know, you got to a couple of the restaurants, this place had ready to eat foods not monitored. Green and white, organic growth on bread. You're going to want to get rid of some moldy bread. Cooked. Cooked. Refried beans not at proper temperature. Those are common. And that's at. And this one's at Charlie's Philly steaks over in 95th Avenue in Camelback. So I'll never go there. No. Certified food man. Manager. You can fix that. Employee sweeping floors. Then they didn't wash their hands. Chicken wings not cooking, proper temperatures. Okay, we can fix that. Let's move on down to Charlie.

[Listener]

Was that the one. Was that the one that you'd hit in a food court?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, Charlie's is a gay bar that me and Emo Phillips went to to eat burritos at three in the morning. And I'm telling you, it's the best burrito I've ever had in my life. Have you ever been to Stellar 66? Because I've named off a couple of things here, Brady, that are like. That's a little awkward. But you know what? They'll clean it up. They'll get there.

[Listener]

I haven't. I've heard of it.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You do know of Stellar 66, Baseline and Gilbert Road? And. And you know about it. Yeah. So it's on your list of like. Maybe I should go here.

[Listener]

Not necessarily. No.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They had a couple violations. You might want to pay attention. No paper towels at the hand sink. Occasionally I'll get you. You know, it's not good. No soap at the hand sink. So just these employees that's. You got to fix that. Lamb heads and organs not purchased from approved source.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, I'm taking it another level.

[Listener]

Black market.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They're getting their lamb heads from Somewhere else I would assume that I. They're only one guy to get lamb heads from. Then it said, I don't know if US Foods.

[Listener]

Like I. I just remember, you know, Porkopolis, the meat options that you'd have. Whether it's Cisco US Foods. I never thought lamb. Okay, maybe they would. I don't know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That was the fourth. That was the fourth of the eight violations. And then after it says food debris on the meat slicer. Stop looking around the restaurant once you found out they're buying their lamb heads underground. I mean, that's. That's the end of the why that.

[Listener]

When you get half of my farm.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But if I'm getting lamb heads from an unapproved source, and I found that out in the middle of the report, there's no reason for me to even look at the meat sleep slicer. This. This inspection is over. The minute I found out your lamb heads are illegal. If I see the word lamb head, not dot, dot, dot. This restaurant should be closed down. But the dude is diligent. He went through and finished up. And by the way, your Peking duck is. It's not at proper temperature. It's like, yeah, we've got a bigger fish to fry over here with these illegal lamb heads and organs that I'm buying from the black market or anything.

[Listener]

Outside of distributed would be illegal. Maybe look like you can't go, you know, like in a Brady at a bar. You can't go to total Total wine and bring it for. You got to go through a proper.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Licensed who came by and said, hey, I'm not licensed, but I know a grocery store.

[Listener]

I don't know if that's illegal to buy lamb heads. Buy a lambhead.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Where are you getting lamb heads?

[John Holmberg]

Like those Carisseras and stuff like that? Oh yeah, you can buy them.

[Listener]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Humans.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's not some like store for the zoo.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Listener]

We gotta run on lamb lamb's head right now. And we're out.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Time out, sons. I'm today years old when I realized that lamb heads food.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What the hell do you make out of lamb's head?

[Listener]

It's the tender meat around. Oh I mean they. They show them Instagram.

[John Holmberg]

Any butcher shot at the Arcadia meat market as a matter. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You could buy a lamb's head.

[Listener]

He as long. I mean they got everything else there. Just about.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What planet am I on? When did that happen?

[Listener]

My brother in law doesn't like lamb's head. He loves those like lamb chops.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, yeah, but that's not a Head. I know that meat of a. Yeah.

[Listener]

But I think there's more people that chow on that there.

[John Holmberg]

You can order it online.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Does my inner bigot have to come out? Is this mostly a Mexican thing? Because I'm a white guy and I don't think we've ever lammer goat head. Oh, Jesus Christ. Look at that picture. There it is.

[Caller]

But isn't pretty cheap. Isn't barbacoa like cow face?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And I just.

[Caller]

I learned that beerus supposed to be the. That version.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's a word I've never heard before.

[Caller]

Biria.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't know what that is.

[Listener]

Birria.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Caller]

B I R R I A. Birria.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

First time I'm hearing it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they have tacos and stuff of that awesome juice.

[Listener]

It's the red juice, isn't it? No, it's.

[Caller]

It's shredded meat that comes with it. Like they call it consomme. So it's a little. Little bit of broth.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What's it from that you dip in?

[Caller]

That's what I thought it was. It's like the.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, sweet Jesus. It still has its eyeballs and teeth.

[Listener]

7.993 pounder.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Nobody pulls its teeth and pups the eyeball out.

[Listener]

I'm smoking one of those tonight, mother.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Where am I? Wow.

[John Holmberg]

It's us made too.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Star wars episode. Is this well good?

[Caller]

US made.

[Listener]

Yeah. So I bet you they went outside of.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, an approved Source.

[John Holmberg]

This one's 15 bucks. This is high class.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm telling you right now. Picture good price. No close up. Don't do that. Don't do a close up on its eye. You made it.

[Listener]

It googling. It was like looking at him.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's kind of smiling.

[Listener]

It is.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Come on. That's got a grill. That's got his grill too. Brett, stop doing the closeup. Stop it.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You bastard. I'm not.

[Listener]

What's the name of the company? Brett, don't say no. I'm not gonna say that. Fazer man as your man farm.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I believe that's Fogerman.

[John Holmberg]

Is that what you're going with?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Okay, I'm half. I'm halfway.

[John Holmberg]

You want me do it again?

[Listener]

No. Get the head off.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

All right, I'm close. There's. I'm. I'm bubbling up.

[Listener]

Check out Billy Doe Meats one below. See what kind of lamb and goat head got there.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I did not know that was a thing.

[Listener]

Why bother?

[John Holmberg]

Brady wanted me to pull that one up.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm not kidding.

[Listener]

They have a temp cage in there. Why bother? Those are.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I have.

[Listener]

Lamb and goat heads.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Why is this happening?

[Listener]

Cooked into curries, soups.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm not kidding. This is awful.

[Brady]

Make it stop.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Just turn that effing TV off. No. Quit him. Wow. I can't look at that.

[Listener]

Well, that answers our question of the dirty dining. Yeah, there you go.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I can't. Yeah, you want your head to be clean. From a good source.

[Listener]

Billy, does they look clean?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's a. There's a plethora of them.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What kind of hellbound Satan freak are you that you would buy that and cook it if that was in anybody's house? You just leave.

[Caller]

You don't go. Oh, no. There's a large segment of this. Of this population that isn't going anywhere. They're drawn on to that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Mexicans.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Is that. Is that a Mexican thing?

[Caller]

It's a Mexican and Middle Eastern things, yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, I didn't know he ate their heads. And why is the eye. But why are the teeth still part of it?

[Listener]

Why did you put the puke can on the counter?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I didn't actually puke. It was a lot of dry heating. I spit in it, though. You're right. Well, because I got to keep it close in case Brett decides to do Fellini. A couple more.

[John Holmberg]

And he wanted the last one I stopped.

[Listener]

Texters are saying those with jackpot.

[Caller]

Now pull up some hog jaw Brett and show that. Okay. Never that to John.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

There's eyeballs on it. I. I can't. If the eyeballs. Why are the eyeballs still? And they eat those too, don't they?

[Caller]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, mother. That is horrible. That was. That's the worst thing I've ever seen. I know. I know.

[Caller]

Dale's getting antsy.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm sorry, Dale.

[John Holmberg]

You cut me off for this?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm gonna listen to you puke for five hours.

[Listener]

Maybe he eats. Maybe he loves.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I've never seen that before. That is brand new to me. Like a baby opening its eyes. I am on a new planet.

[Caller]

There are two ways to read this text.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, God, I'm gonna throw up again.

[Caller]

I can't believe how hard I'm laughing at the sound of John throwing up. Or I can't believe how hard I am laughing at the sound of John throwing up.

[John Holmberg]

I can pull.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I can't believe how hard I am, comma laughing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, these Google images are rough.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Man, oh, man. I didn't know this.

[John Holmberg]

No, just lamb's hands again.

[Caller]

Bunch of textures. True Beeria is made of goat meat. I don't know if I. Is it the head, though?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Goat head? Well, that's the thing. When I saw the headline on this, I'm like, well, that restaurant should shut down. Lamb heads and organs not purchased from a thing. And then it turns out Brady's, like, restaurant like, all sorts of places.

[John Holmberg]

What cuisine?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's called Stellar 66 Brady. What do they serve?

[Listener]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I got rack of lamb, lamb head, containers of Peking duck. So they're. It's Asian stuff.

[Caller]

Bunch of people are also saying you've never had a Euro.

[Listener]

John.

[Caller]

Welcome to lamb. Lamb's meat.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Why no lamb's meat exists. The face, teeth, eyeballs, and head. I didn't realize wasn't discarded as you. You freaks are chowing down on the faces. How do you look it in the eye?

[Caller]

That's on their menu.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Chinese, Chinese fine dining is Estelle 60. But they were on.

[Caller]

That looks like sides.

[Listener]

You know what? I might have been there.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm gonna put my money on that. You have?

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, I'll put that on there.

[Listener]

What's the lunch?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What's the lunch? Okay, so you carve it off of the lamb's head and. Or you just. Yeah, just pick it up like an apple and start going.

[Caller]

No, no, I think you shred it off. Once you cook it, it all just kind of falls off.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm almost going again. That. All the videos we've watched, that was. That's the most violent reaction I can have.

[Caller]

And, yeah, we all know about menudo, but that doesn't have, like, head stuff.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And here's the other thing. Like, somebody took the time to skin that thing, and they leave the teeth. Yeah.

[Listener]

I think I have. Because I think they. They do the homemade dumplings. If there's a bunch of different ones, they've got that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're going.

[John Holmberg]

They got the bullfrog hot pot today.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Is that real bullfrog?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, it's delicious. Frog hotspot is what. What it's listed under delicious.

[Listener]

You gotta order a minimum of three pounds hot.

[John Holmberg]

Three pounds of frog?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's a lot, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Never thought I'd hear those 3 ounces of frog.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And it's.

[Listener]

I mean, I don't know if it's. If it's just legs.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't know. It's a lot. I'm just learning, you know, Man, I gotta get off this planet. All right, well, you're.

[Listener]

At Harry Carries. Remember that? No, those are good.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Okay. I'm done talking to all you.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know this was a sizzling fresh squid.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Who's the dude whose job it is? To skin the face of the thing and go, that's good. And then just chuck it over into.

[Caller]

A bag of butchers, man. They gotta skin them and get everything.

[Listener]

Down to get the teeth out.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Why would the teeth get out? Why would they. Why are the eyes.

[Listener]

I don't know. I saw that too.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Anyway, I like that Brady was blown away at the serving size of frog. That's a lot of frog. That's. That's impalfians. Guess where Brady's going tonight. I'm. I am sickened. I have not. You know, when they cook a full pig, at least the iron are out.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Wow. No, I've never seen one with the eyes in like.

[Caller]

I think they're in there.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Don't show me that ever again. And, Brett, that as hilarious as that was.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was great.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You making that picture dance and that.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't mean to.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That is as sick as you could.

[Caller]

Make me, John, your favorite food, tamales, are often made from pig's head.

[John Holmberg]

That's the frog.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

O, geez. That's. They're not fooling around. They don't. They don't dress the frog up.

[Listener]

That's more than the legs.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Wow. That's the whole frog. And there's no doubt. And that's it. Hello, my baby. Hello.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just thinking the same thing.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And all my ride time. All right, we're done. That's enough. Oh, sorry. I thought it would be a cute little story. It was that. That a place that. They continued the inspection after I went one.

[Listener]

I went there for lunch.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You did go open at 11.

[John Holmberg]

Brady. Three pounds of frog.

[Listener]

Oh, I know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

If I'm a health inspector and I find illegal lamb heads, that place ain't coming. Coming back. But evidently he kept going. There's a little meat on the slicer. And evidently Brady's like the knowledgeable one here, so that's normal.

[Listener]

A dumpling special they had there.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No idea. You know, and you know it's wrong. Or Safeway and fries would do it. Oh, yeah. You have to go to a specialty place.

[Listener]

Yeah. To find frog legs.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, frog legs, lamb's face, and we should be eating.

[Listener]

I'm surprised how many places had the lambs had one.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, look, I'm going to blow up some more.

[Brady]

I can get you something.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'll tell you this. I'd much rather be eating cereal out of that girl's ass from the video earlier today than I never take a bite of that face. Hannibal Lecter weirdos. Yuck. Anyway, Dale's gonna come in here and close the show. I don't want to do anything else. That was awful. And keep those dirty dining reports coming. If you find another place with severed heads that are from an illegal source, I want to know about it. It's 98 Kup. Good God. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Caller]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Heard enough of this. Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? CMC is hiring immediately. At CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa, open positions include electrical engineers, automation specialists, industrial electricians and industrial mechanics. Join the next generation of steel makers and help keep our electrical operators and machinery running smooth, smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity employer.

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

The old method of treatment for a.

[Brady]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Look at that. Dale Hella Stracer. Dale, I just got done puking the. You. You just take over from here on out. I'm. I'm not feeling great right now.

[Brady]

You are a walking dichotomy.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What are you talking about?

[Brady]

You are. I mean, you're walking contradiction. Contradiction. I'm sorry.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's like six cuss words.

[Brady]

No, you. Well, you're sitting there last week, you're showing me something with a girl and her rear end.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, it's hot, messy cereal.

[Brady]

And you are enthralled.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's neat.

[Brady]

Enthralled. And you see a lamb's head that's getting prepared for.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's not getting prepared. It's in a pile of other lamb's head.

[Listener]

He'll eat nose hairs, Dan.

[Brady]

What's that?

[Listener]

He'll eat nose hairs? Yeah, he'll pluck it out of his nose.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's already in me. I'm alive.

[Brady]

And he'll eat cereal out of a.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Young lady like this.

[Brady]

I'd see. I don't want to see that.

[Listener]

I just, you know, it was crunchberries and I mean, do you watch that?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'll do that. I'll do that.

[John Holmberg]

There she goes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She's a living.

[Brady]

She's a living creature.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Doing something to her, in her. Under her own power. This is with consent, that lamb's head. Some guy skins it and just throws it in a pile. It's. It's. It's more. It's morbid.

[Brady]

That makes my stomach turn. Little baby's lamb head.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, what are you gonna make it a little baby? No, no, no. My rule in life is you don't eat the face. Yeah. Oh, is that what happened there?

[John Holmberg]

He had to add more milk because.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, yeah. She pours more milk in. Yep. Watch this.

[Listener]

But do you like Crunch Berries?

[Brady]

That's sick and wrong.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, that's because, Dale, it's sick and wrong, and you're absolutely right, but it's two consenting adults being sick and wrong, and there's no one dead. If that was a dead body, I'd be throwing up.

[Brady]

What I want to talk about more than that was you checking into VRBO or airbnb.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I bet you they turn the camera.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That was close. Dale almost said effing cameras.

[Brady]

You think they're okay?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Time out. You're talking about time out. You're talking about the story we did this morning about the VRBO in Scottsdale. The guy found a camera above the bed, Right. You think they're running tape on you?

[Brady]

I bet you that they got a ring camera and they see your bed.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, sure.

[Brady]

Ugly ass.

[Listener]

And they're like. They're like, shut the cameras off. No filming.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I've watched myself on tape. It's horrific. Oh, yeah. Back in the 90s, I had the camera set up. Everything's good. Something horrible happened.

[Brady]

What were you doing, whacking yourself?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, I was with a lady. Here's the problem. So she's on the bed, laying on her back. It was 90s, so we had some growth. It wasn't quite into that whole everybody shaves it thing yet. Okay, so there was a little there, which is off putting. She looked amazing laying on the bed. Right. I'm setting the camera. Camera up. I got the TV plugged in so you can watch the monitor. Right.

[Brady]

Why would you want to watch that position?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You know what? You're right now, at that time, I didn't know. So I. I'm getting the camera, and every time I'd look at the tv, I'd look at her. I'm like, those are two totally different things. Like, she looks horrible on the tv.

[Brady]

Really?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Because of the lighting. It looked like a snuff film. And then. But she looked beautiful. And so I'm like, all right, it's just the lighting. I'll fix that in post. So then I climb on there, and.

[Brady]

You can't fix that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And that angle is. And I went ass angle in. I was. I was shooting in from the ass. It was bad directing. So all you saw was a big white ass and two legs. It looked like a tooth with roots. And two girl legs sticking out from under Me crying for help.

[Brady]

There's no dubbing that down. No.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It is an immediate. Put the cap back on, rewind and hit record, record darkness right over that.

[Listener]

And imagine that was the video that picked up. Is this the.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, oh.

[Listener]

Watching your movie, for sure.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

We'd be playing that over and over and constantly think, man, this is going to get us going on. It was A1 viewing. It was like watching a holocaust movie. And then it was over. It was just terrible.

[Brady]

No, but I can see these VR or VRBOs that they had the ring camera. And they see the people that are checking in. And if homeborg comes walking up. All right, that's off for the weekend, Dale.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They'd see your car pull up, lean in one side, and they'd be like, all right. They would just lock the doors.

[Brady]

They have extra cameras for special people.

[Listener]

Hey, the power's off in this place.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Special people. Why would you want to. That would be you going in there, a special person. Anyway. Stop it, Dale. That's disgusting. But the lamb's head. You just don't sever a head and throw it in a pile and say that that's normal. That's just not normal. And I didn't know.

[Brady]

There's good meat on there. The brain. There's good meat.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, Christ. There's good meat on all the animals. Animals. But you don't want to see, like, you don't want to peel it off yourself.

[Listener]

Have you chowed on a lamb's head before, though, Daniel?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

So you wouldn't go buy a lamb's head myself? No, I didn't know that was available to the public. I'd assumed the process was much further along than what I saw just moments ago.

[Brady]

You're going to Costco and see little lambs heads.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Look. Are they in there?

[Brady]

No.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He's gonna show it again. Oh, God. I can't look. Look at the tv, Dale. Look. That's. Stop doing that. What's the matter with that?

[Brady]

It's good right there, John.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's a good eating.

[Listener]

Slow and low.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I can't. I can't.

[Brady]

Fifteen now. That's not gross. What you showed before is gross.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Look at that.

[Brady]

A whole pile of them.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's a pile of heads.

[John Holmberg]

Low stock too, John. Better order now. 9.99.

[Listener]

Dale's getting hungry.

[Brady]

999, John. That's some good eating right there.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

When did I get into a room with like five pole pots? You guys, Guys. This is disgusting. Little severed heads, those things just.

[Listener]

I'm with Dale. I couldn't prep it No, I wouldn't but I. I don't think I would ever order it off.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I cannot look at that. How is that appetizing to anyone?

[Brady]

Well, how's eating Cheerios or whatever? Is that somebody's that much for sustenance?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's for sexy time. That's sexy.

[Brady]

What's sexy about eating?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She's naked. All.

[Brady]

All.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

There's no ports. You can't pull in into that caliper is disturbing.

[Listener]

It's like something.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's weird for sure but I mean you get into some weird stuff sometimes.

[Brady]

How is that sexually satisfying Crunch berries out of somebody's rear end.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't like crunch berries and I love golden grass.

[Brady]

Golden grass.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Give me some golden grams or maybe just basic.

[Brady]

Probably hurt going in.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, Captain Crunch will leave a mark. That's gonna leave.

[John Holmberg]

Unless I should added more milk in there too.

[Listener]

That's.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, I'm not so sure that's the problem.

[Listener]

You know I like the crunch berries but I to wait a little bit last week.

[Brady]

How clean you are.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's spotless. You can eat out of that. Why don't you? I would no problem. I'd bagio right into my mouth. I'll do that. I'll do it right now. I'm clean as a whistle.

[Listener]

Get the calipers.

[Brady]

After the show last week, this idiot goes to the bathroom, walks back into the office with a piece of toilet paper and go smell it.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Smell it. There's a reason why it's clean.

[Brady]

He did smell it.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Cuz I proved my point to YouTube. Rust butt.

[Brady]

He's getting a little woody.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I proved my point about. Okay, by the way, Dale's brought to you by Prestige billiards. Prestige Billiards AZ.com and use meathead98 and get 10% off all your gaming needs. You got to get a game room in your house. It's just. It changes everything. You have one room you're not using.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Throw a couple video games in there. A golden tea. Oh, he's got it all. So get Meathead involved in that. And thanks Meathead for what he does over at Prestige Billiards. Anyway, so last week you guys were talking about how you don't need to take a shower to clean your butt. And I have been. I have already.

[Brady]

You say you take a shower after every bowel movement.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That's weird.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, it's not.

[Brady]

Yes it is.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Because again, how many times do I have to tell you? If I got poop on my arm, I wouldn't wipe it off with a Towel. I would soap in water.

[Listener]

Times it. For the most part.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Listener]

That he around shower time.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No.

[Listener]

If I, you know, in the middle.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Of the day, I'll hop in the shower real quick and soap and water that off so I don't have rust butt like you guys. And I proved that. Your theory of I'm spotless. I'm. Brady always said I'm clean, I do a good job.

[Listener]

I'm that use of the day.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Would you let. Or would you.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Eat cereal out of that ass if it hadn't been scrubbed with soap first?

[Listener]

I wouldn't eat.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I know you wouldn't do it. Hypothetically. How? Hypothetically you're going to go down that road. But you. You understand the point?

[Listener]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Would you perform that deed on somebody's ass if they said, hey, I took a dump earlier, but I got it with the paper, or would you say, get in the shower and water.

[Listener]

Water and water.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Bidet's not enough.

[Listener]

I would like the water and paper only. You would Because I just don't want soap in my cereal.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You would chow down. I'm not talking about cereal anymore. Yeah, you would chow down. Ronnie's there, doors open, start to go into town, friend. And she says, by the way, at noon I took a dump. I bidet it.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, you wouldn't. No, sir. And you're only seeing that. No, no, no, no. First off, first off, I know you. You won't do it even clean because it scares you to death. Okay. That you'll get a little poopy on there. You think?

[Listener]

Your scenario.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You would not do it at all.

[Listener]

Sure.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Would you? Absolutely would not. You'd make her wash with soap and water because the both of you last week, instead of big boy on the radio last week in there, you're like, yeah, I guess you're right. You admitted it. That you wouldn't do it or you wouldn't allow somebody to do it to you. And I know you, Dale. You wouldn't allow anybody to do that. And you certainly wouldn't do it.

[Listener]

She's a gamer.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

If. If she. If she said, I took a dump at noon and it's two in the.

[Brady]

Afternoon and you used a moist towelette.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No way. No, sir. So you're telling me that barbecue sauce or chicken wing sauce gets all the way off your fingers with a moistel it.

[Brady]

Well, that's the cold.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's in the creases of your fingernails.

[John Holmberg]

He's selling me on this point there, because that's.

[Brady]

Here's what I was gonna Say, I never thought that you guys could start a conversation that Brett was so disgusted by that he didn't even take part in it.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He's an observer. He's like a judge, but he's selling.

[John Holmberg]

Me on that point.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm not wrong. You get the chunks off and then you go wash with him.

[Listener]

I still gotta go to the bathroom. Upon fruit and vegetables. When you wash those off.

[John Holmberg]

Fruits and vegetables by those up your apple.

[Brady]

No. And so you wipe. You.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Brady would eat prison ass before he Eat fruits and veget. Yeah.

[Listener]

I've had apple pie.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You've accidentally cut into the apple. You realized you'd eaten all the rest of the pig. Gross. Listen to him. Do you hear what he said? I base my logic on fruits and vegetables.

[Listener]

Wash it with water. It's clean, ready to eat.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're a jackass. You would eat prison ass before you.

[Brady]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. To take your example. Yes. You cleaned your hands to where you can't see anything. Barbecue sauce.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And then you get the towelettes and you wipe them again. It's clean.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, no, it's clean.

[John Holmberg]

I go to the bathroom and wash up.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Wash your hands after. You have chicken wings or something. So you're not. Not a pig. You don't just wipe it down.

[Brady]

Then you get to tell it, and.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Then you get to tell it and you're like, that's pretty good. And then you go wash with soap and water. If you're. If you're not an animal.

[Brady]

So. So you're gonna tell me you're talking to me about animals and you're the one that. It was turned on by the girls serial.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I wasn't turned on.

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, Johnny, I thought it was funny.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Look, I'm you, and I can have this conversation off the air because I know you right now, that if back at smu, you're sitting. Why don't you pour some cereal in it? All right. Why not? Why wouldn't I do?

[Listener]

No shower needed.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, you would. When you get into weird stuff with, you know, the. The sexy time.

[Brady]

I'm not a weird.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Neither am I. But if you said. If you said, like, Johnny, this girl wanted me, you know, chicken out of her. But you would have done it.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right. That's the thing with this. These two were just like, let's try it. They're living creatures. Now, if you had a lamb's head in there, wouldn't it be some sort of satanic ritual?

[Brady]

No, you would be gnawing at the. At the jaw of the lamb's head.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Good Christ. Facing that butt bowl. Good lord. That guy says, yeah, Cat and crunch wrecks the inside of your mouth. What does it do to you? We gotta take a break. Take a break. Dale is here.

[Brady]

Me walking with a smile, I'd feel a lot better. He walks in like we're in trouble.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He's not happy with you.

[Brady]

With me?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Dale, you're killing it in the sports department. Thanks for coming in. Our three time world champion is here to talk sports and is cereal favorite. What is your favorite cereal? What would you eat out? All right, we'll get to that in a second. Dale hellraise here. It's 98 John Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

The 98 KUPD.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? CMC is hiring immediately at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. Open positions with a $5,000 sign on bonus include automation specialists, industrial electricians and industrial mechanics. Join the next generation of steel makers and help keep our electrical operators and machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity to the employer. Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, that's enough of YouTube. Quiet down over there. Rust butts. It's Dale Hell joins us, three time super bowl champion to talk sports and he's done such a hell of a job. He brought all the topics today.

[Brady]

I did.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What did you talk about on your show this morning? Oh, by the way, Dale is brought to you by prestige billiards.

[Brady]

Az.com what, what was the farewell ado to your Phoenix?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh my God.

[Brady]

And, and I said the Diamondbacks game yesterday and that was a fun.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Did they win? I didn't see.

[Brady]

Yeah, they won nine. Nothing.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They're hitting the ball, man. They're playing.

[Listener]

Anyone using torpedo bats on the db?

[Brady]

No, nobody yet. Nobody yet. But they don't need to. They're, I think four home runs.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Why mess around with what I mean, they're scoring runs, they're beating good teams. So yeah, it's, it's a, that's a team, man. They've got something. Unfortunately, there may be. What is the best division in baseball history at this point? Yeah, the Giants are great. The Padres are great. The Dodgers are out of this world.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

So other than the Rockies, that is going to be.

[Brady]

It's going to be a run. I'll run. No, but we, we all also talked about the Suns and I don't I don't know if there's been a more. There's been a lot of disappointment.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're saying what I said this morning.

[Brady]

There's. There's been a. If you were born. I was born and raised here. I've known the Phoenix Suns since 1968.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I was six years old. So I was just getting into sports.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So I follow them from 68 to 25. And there is not a more. You could say the Browns, they at least won NFL championships. They want a Super.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Super Bowl.

[Brady]

You think more disappointing franchise than the Phoenix sun.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You're saying the whole France. I'm saying this is the most disappointing season in professional sports in Phoenix.

[Brady]

Well that's. That's what I was going to narrow it down to is with the expectations coming in, you know the over. Under was 48 wins and. Or 48 and a half. Something like that. Like that's an easy over.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I thought there were 50 wins.

[Brady]

I took the over. They strive for eight and one. Nine and one. Whatever. And it's like what the hell.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Happened.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

This, this is. Yeah. This is by far. And that includes the Coyotes. That includes the Cardinals down season embarrassment. Nothing's been spent.

[Listener]

An eighth of your purchase price on just the.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's insane. Payroll. Yeah. $400 million payroll for a 4 billion dollar investment. So he's 5 billion into this thing and I don't know what he's gotten out of it. The somebody brought this up because I said it was the most embarrassing sports season Phoenix ever.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Pick a team, doesn't matter. Somebody said what about. And this is something that a lot of people don't remember. The reason Colangelo took the Suns in the late 80s was that whole drug scandal when these guys. The players were actually selling cocaine.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

At like Mr. Lucky's or something downtown. I forget the name of the club.

[Brady]

I remember that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But that was pretty bad for a team that was not terrible. I mean Larry Nance, Walter Davis, James.

[Brady]

Edwards, you had a. Yeah, but they weren't a championship. No.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And that's because the Lakers were so good.

[Brady]

Right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

There were two or three good teams in basketball.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Let alone. But the Suns were competitive. They were seven or eight seed going into that stuff. But the Lakers were going to mop up everybody and they. The Lakers would literally go undefeated through the playoffs to get to the Celtics.

[Brady]

If you take the expectations of the team, the payroll of the team, the names on the team. Diamondbacks never been disappointing. Cardinals never been. And here you got the sun.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's sort of I guess would have been if the 2001 Diamondbacks with that roster wouldn't have made the playoffs.

[Brady]

Right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You know, that would be like, you got Randy Johnson, Kurt Shilling, you went out and paid for, you know, all these players, Matt Williams, Mark Grace. That would have been equal to what just happened here. Right.

[Brady]

It's not like, okay, if they would have lost game seven of the World Series.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You were in the series. You got something out. This team didn't even sniff the playoffs. And no, they were people saying, oh, I'd go to the games. And the guys at the. At the door would be like, are we getting it tonight? We're still eligible. I'm like, would you want to see this team in the playoffs at all?

[Brady]

No. Rest in peace.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They're getting 40. They're getting 40'd by teams on their own floor fighting for a spot. This is the fight they've got, and they're losing by 40 multiple times.

[Brady]

You know, the old saying goes, hey, they're in a better place now when somebody passes away.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The sun's over a better place.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And they died not doing what they love. Unless what they love is ignoring their coach and not playing very hard.

[Brady]

And how many coaches are going to.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Bring in here, Mike, they got Malone now from Denver and the GM from Denver. Here's my thought thoughts on that. The. The Nuggets just did you a favor. For some reason, there's people up in Denver that didn't like Malone.

[Brady]

Yeah, right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Or the general manager. He also not renewed. Start dancing with those guys and get them in Joker's ear to say, oh, I like, we gotta get you down here to get. To get you out of Denver. That place is a mess. Yeah. Unless Joker was the reason they left. But I don't think he's that.

[Brady]

I don't think so. No.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

So, yeah, you just start messing around with that. Maybe. Maybe you get Jamal Murray involved and you start because ISHP's got the money. You unload this entire roster. Booker on there and Booker, all of them gone. Yep. And you don't have any draft picks. You got to play the. You got to play a hard sell.

[Brady]

Here, by the way. By the way. Everybody's saying, oh, you get three or four firsts for Durant and you'll get.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Maybe.

[Brady]

No, no, you won't get four. You. You might get two now.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Two in a player.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

A player that may or may not.

[Brady]

Make the Holberg along the way.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You throw in, we'll throw it a homer going to.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, I'm the player to be named later. I don't even know. But yeah. So I think that that gift Denver just gave this team who was going to have a hard time getting another coach and free agents and anything else. Now you're like okay, let's, let's, let's wreck Denver because they've decided that the. Whoever got mad and we're getting rid of this Malone who's a good coach. Yeah, but I don't know that who.

[Listener]

Else would be in that mix for coaching in the NBA. I mean what team?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

There's a lot of teams. There's a lot of teams that would take.

[Brady]

Well, I mean if you're talking as a package both the coach and the Joker and I don't care about the GM but the. But the Joker.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But the GM's the one that can do the. Can do the manipulator.

[Brady]

Right.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And I think that would be awesome especially if Joker liked him. And Malone and this GM are a package that they're a. They're a potential three seed that just fired their coach and the Suns hang on to. But again we've been blaming coaches here and everything. Evidently it's not.

[Brady]

No, it's. No, it does not matter. It's the players. Get rid of the damn players. And again if you want to clean complete house, great. I'm going to tell you I told this story too is the fact that my rookie year in Buffalo we were 2 and 14.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And we were 2 and 13 going in our last game which was at home.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

We sucked. And we're in Buffalo and it's freaking cold.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's horrible. January, December.

[Brady]

You want to get the hell out of there as quick as you can. Most of my stuff was packed up. I was leaving Monday morning after, after the game. There were no less than 12U hauls in the players parking lot for the game. And I drove in there and I'm like yeah, you know I thought about it but I didn't have the ball. Yes. There's got to be coach walking through going all right so that's license plates.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Who's. Who's already packed up and leaving.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Brutal.

[Brady]

You're hoping for next year.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And that's looked like the Suns. Look like the Suns. They're just checking off the day. Got three more days then we could be in the Bahamas.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. It's. The Suns had beacons out there. They were. They're not U hauling. Everything they did was high priced and stupid. So it was a bad, it was a bad year.

[Brady]

And when you look at it, I, I think when you're talking about Denver, here's at least what I've heard is the fact that they didn't want to have happen in Denver, what happened in Milwaukee with Boonholes and the fact that they're going to, to fire him.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And they went on the run and won the championship.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

So they hang on to.

[Brady]

Now I have to hang on to him for another year or two.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I don't know why they wanted to get rid. It doesn't. Well, and again, it happened over in Memphis. Taylor Jenkins is a great coach, but John Morant evidently is not.

[Brady]

And I'm sorry if I'm an owner and John Morant comes into me. It's one thing if Joker comes in and says, hey, this is untenable.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, the owner in Memphis was saying that John Morant needs to be Michael Jordan and this coach's style makes the whole team. It's sort of, in a weird way, that's what he was saying. He's like, we're not focused on jaw enough. Like you're, you're making the playoffs. You're an actual contender.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It doesn't matter.

[Brady]

It makes no sense.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But he's not making enough money off of having a great player, so. And John Morant is great. He's. He's sga. Kind of with a little more flash.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, a little more.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And a little more gunplay. He likes guns a lot anyway, so. Yeah, the Suns are mercifully put out and that was a euthanization that should have happened months ago. They let that dog live too long.

[Brady]

Yes. They put it down for its own good.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Ye. And it's time to, to part it out.

[Brady]

And now it's, it's going to be fascinating this, because if they try and roll this thing back again, you're going to see a revolt. You'll see a revolt. And. But if they ch. If they trade Man Booker too, people are going to revolt. And I don't understand that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Fans have to get over the emotions.

[Brady]

What has Booker done the last year?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He's gotten six coaches fired in 10 years. You know, I mean, he's, he's a two. Ah, screw the Suns. One more home game Friday night.

[Brady]

Have you already re up?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, yeah, did it in March. But I, but I, I, I went home, I went homeward on it. And yeah, I went, I went in with Kevin Ray and his buddy. So I'm only doing a few games next year.

[Brady]

I'm like, oh, are you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I'm pulling, I'm pulling The reins. No, I'm probably gonna pull that, too. I'm not giving this franchise any more money until they give me something.

[Brady]

Well, what's gonna happen?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, I'm not. I'm not doing it. I know. It's too much. It's costing Dale. It cost too much money. I will. I will. It's costing me too much money to get no pleasure out of it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Imagine you go to Dallas every year, these cowboy fans that have to sit in all this stuff.

[Brady]

Oh, I know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And then they're spending thousands and thousands of dollars and there's nothing being delivered back At a certain point. It's a business to me, too.

[Brady]

Here. Here's what I was thinking while you were talking was the fact that it's like Troy joined this really high futin all men's club in Dallas. Golf a golf well. And he quickly found out he. He wanted to golf with his buddies. Like, John brings friends to the game.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Sure.

[Brady]

Well, you don't. It's called Preston Trail. You don't ask the guest to pay 300 guest fee. So you pick it up and then there's lunch. Yeah. He said every round of golf was costing me $1,500.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's. It's crazy. And I'm not getting enjoyment out of it anymore. I'm just like, oh, Jesus, I got to do this. It's going to be. Yeah. So it's a fort.

[Brady]

But if you invite me to the rah rah, you don't pay anything.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, we do after you bail in a second.

[Brady]

Oh, would you.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

We're gonna take another break. Dale.

[Listener]

Shrimp.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. We paid the bills around here. Yes. $38. Shrimp. Left it behind. You guys pay for my shrimp. I bought everybody tea. That's right. The entertainment drill coming up next. It's 98. Hey. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No membership fees. I've heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a.

[Brady]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

We've got ourselves an entertainment drill. Dale is here, brought to you by our friends at prestige billiards. A. You have a pool table. You got a room for a pool table. We're going to get you. We're going to get you all hooked up. You needed a grill. You wanted a grill.

[Brady]

I do want a grill.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He does grills, too.

[Brady]

And I also want to see you carry a slate and.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's right. And I'll carry. I'll carry.

[Brady]

I want you to be there.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Pool table in. It's Going to happen. These broad shoulders. I can bring that right home. Beautiful thing.

[Brady]

You're getting a hernia.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I would have a hernia. I would have. My ass would look like one of those baboons that bubbles up like I'm.

[Brady]

Presenting hernia and hemorrhoids.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, I'd have all sorts of stuff going on. I'm not picking those things up. I couldn't. I tried. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. And of course, I tell you about it all the time. You can become one of the members over there. And 199 bucks for two months of personal training, which is unbelievable. But that's not all. There are seminars which. The one for women's self defense coming up here in the end of April will turn. You need to get your daughters in on this. You need to get your daughter in on this. Everybody who is a father that cares at all about their daughters walking around, especially because Kirby went to one seminar. I know. I remember that. But now she's older and she's going to be driving and going out. Your daughters are by themselves a lot. This is a great thing. And you'll. You'll watch these ladies become confident animals in three hours. It's unreal. And then you start the process of being there. It's amazing. So get on there. Take a look at their seminars, all the stuff they've got to offer. CCW classes, all that available to you. Reactdefense.com is where you go not beating that price. It's the. The home of tactical black Brady Dale entertainment.

[Brady]

Before you say something real quick. So I. When my daughter was in high school, she was a junior and she was driving all that. And so I one day had one of my bigger buddies find her, come up behind her and get her in a bear hug. I just want to see how she would react.

[Listener]

Stranger and a bear.

[Brady]

A stranger.

[Listener]

Okay.

[Brady]

She went into a. Oh, you said that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She told me that she threw herself. She backed over.

[Brady]

The knee was coming straight for her. His head. And I'm like, where the hell did you learn that? Okay, you got a chance, you know.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

But anyway, yeah, that's pretty good reaction. Very flexible, Hella string. She's a bender.

[Brady]

I used to be. I was a good bender.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Okay, come on. You did it for a living for 16 years. It was bent over the whole time.

[Listener]

You boys get your order in for Mattel? Lebron James, Kendall.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What's that they just rolled out.

[Listener]

Mattel now makes LeBron James. They. They're calling it the Ken bastard.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Wouldn't it just be a LeBron James doll? Yeah, and they call it.

[Listener]

It's the new Ken doll.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's just LeBron.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, there's Ken.

[Listener]

75 bucks.

[Brady]

Well, there's Ken and Barbie. So is there LeBron and LeBron?

[Listener]

Ken and Barbie. You got a three way now.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, he's got a little gray beard. Pretty good.

[Listener]

Pretty good face.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, that's a good doll. But I mean, why is there a. It's just a LeBron James doll that.

[Brady]

Comes in and I'd rather look at the baby lamb's head.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh, my God. Well, anything. You know what? I'm with you on that. If you show me a picture of.

[Listener]

LeBron, Barbie's beach house neighborhood.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah. Yep. You're gonna get some complaints at the club with him wandering around Barbie's all house.

[Listener]

Bill Belichick's gonna have some additional responsibilities on top of coaching. He's gonna have to coach his girlfriend because she's entered the Miss Maine USA pageant.

[Brady]

How would you feel, John? No, you. You wouldn't understand this. If Bill. If your daughter brought Bill Belichick home. Yeah, in about 10 years. She's 25ish.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's a tough one.

[Brady]

What's he, 7 75.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Why is that tough? Your daughter's set for good. She's set for life if she plays her cards right. What you need to do is tell your daughter, hey, don't screw this up. Oh, it is. Am I wrong? No.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Why do you want her to suffer with some dolt?

[Brady]

It's a great thing that you're never been a parent and you never will be a parent because you're an idiot.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Some schmo working at QT compared to.

[Listener]

Bill Belichick, tough situation.

[John Holmberg]

Or Chiba hut or something like that. Some passion.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I have met your son in law.

[Listener]

Which would you rather have? The Chiba Hut or just a guy that's not even that. That guy at least is working. A guy that's not working.

[John Holmberg]

Bill put in the years of work not to.

[Listener]

Well, I'll go.

[John Holmberg]

He's coaching.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

What's wrong with that?

[Brady]

There's a 50 year difference between.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

All he's done is hung out. He's hung out with kids his whole life. He knows how to speak to 23 year olds. He's brilliant. This is ridiculous.

[Listener]

He has been.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I've met your son in law. You trade his ass in for Bill Belichick in a second well, now I.

[Brady]

Should put it that way. I trade both of them.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Exactly. Belich and. And geez, you'd take like Rich Kotite probably could come back.

[Listener]

Dale has a follow up to the Jessica Simpson.

[Brady]

Oh, you are talked about this. Let's see here. Reptile expert says he doubts that snake semen is helping. Jessica sends be a better singer.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

She said she was drinking snake semen and it kept her throat.

[Brady]

But she's not giving up. Quote, it just really clears my throat. It's. I'm a great singer when I have snake sperm.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

So I watched a little of the video of this guy talking on the news, the zoologist, and they showed manually extracting semen from a snake. It's. It's like a very little pinhead drop.

[Listener]

Of you'll get more venom.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Right. So he basically was telling her, I don't think you're actually drinking that. Somebody's selling you something that is. It's snake oil.

[Brady]

Well, what's in that little bottle over there? Don't you take a little snake semen?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I would. I would. Look, I. My throat. I get. I get a little gird. I wouldn't mind taking. I would drink some snake semen. Keeps your throat clean.

[Brady]

But you wouldn't eat a baby lamb's head.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

No, that's. I'm not Satan.

[Listener]

But he's got snake stabler semen in there. So there's.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's right. Kenny. Kenny delivers, still produces. You can sing after Kenny gets in there. The snake.

[Brady]

How do you even try. How do you even try that?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Well, Dale, when a snake and a woman love each other very much, I don't know. It's a good question. All right. You got anything going on? You're watching the Masters. Who's gonna win the Masters?

[Brady]

Oh, boy.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Put money on it. Let's do a fanduel.

[Brady]

How can you not go Scottish Scotty Scheffler.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's the answer.

[Brady]

I mean, that's. What if I had to put money it down? That's. That's who I put it on.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

You know who I think's going to win it this year? And I don't know why. I don't even know if he's in it. That Indian sh. Cop guy. You know what I'm talking? Yeah, yeah, that guy. Yeah. Name that's unpronounceable like. Yeah, you know, I think he's going to take it.

[Brady]

Really.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I think he's going to win the Masters.

[Brady]

Boy, it's been a long time since the left hander one.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, all sorts of things that could change there.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It'll be awesome. I think he's going to get it.

[Brady]

It's a different course. A lot of trees got knocked down.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Oh. Because of that. I forgot the tour that they weren't. They were thinking this might not be ready.

[Listener]

Forgot about Shambo.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

If Ryson dechambo can go over trees down.

[Brady]

Are you a live guy?

[Listener]

I like to see him do well on that.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Was he.

[Listener]

I think he's pretty good.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Okay. Either way, the masters is really always got now.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Until football. Now we got hockey and basketball.

[Brady]

You got your favorite team, the D backs.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

And they're fun. But it's the dog days.

[Brady]

It's dog days.

[Listener]

It's already.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

It's the dog day. Dog day. Wait till September for anything good. That's it. We're all done. Are you going out tonight? You're not tonight, are you?

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Okay. We're all good.

[John Holmberg]

I had to think about that myself. What am I doing?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's it for us. Oh, this guy says Jerry Jones or Chiba Hut Guy. Who do you let your daughter marry?

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brady]

What's Chiba?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Chiba Hut's a place for potheads to get awesome.

[Brady]

Oh, Jesus.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

They're very good, though. Sandwiches are in the fruit.

[Listener]

It's a wee square.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Larry.

[Brady]

If I hear my daughter say, hi, this is Joe from Chiba Hut.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Or I'm escorting him out.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

How about this, Dad, I want you to. I want you to talk to my. My boyfriend. You know, Dale. Hell, stray. I'm back in your life. How are you, buddy? I said it's good to see you. I'm deep. I'm deep in your daughter right now, Dale.

[Brady]

Make sure you get a ring on your damn finger.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

He's got a whole bunch of them.

[Brady]

Yeah, her fin.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Got to get her a championship.

[Listener]

What are your intentions, Jerry?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Rings are tough to come by. I'mma eat cereal out of. All right. Oh, that's it. We're done. Dale, thanks for coming in.

[Brady]

That's what? You're going to leave?

[Dale Hellstrayer]

That's the closer. Dale.

[Brady]

Baby head L. Good night, everybody.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Talk to you guys tomorrow. So long. It's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Listener]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

I have heard enough of this.

[Caller]

It sticks a little. For FanDuel, America's number one sports book right now. With FanDuel you can make the smarter play with performance trends. You can get the latest stats right inside the app and see who's heating up. Get started today by visiting FanDuel.com KUPD and you'll get started with 200 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first five dollar bet. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only five dollars first deposit required. Bonus issued as now with travel bonus bets that expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342 hey, it's Larry McFeely here with.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

My friend Wayne from AMCO. And Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service? No, Larry, if you have an extended service contract, you can use it at any amco. It's nice to have other options. I'll say.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Hassles and faster service. AMCO does more than just transmissions, right? Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell or even think you.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Have a car issue, call AMCO first.

[Dale Hellstrayer]

Just Google AMCO for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and.

[Brett]

A whole lot more.