← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
04-14-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
02:36:20
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- [00:00]
Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
- [00:08]
Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. Now, nearly six months later, I'm feeling like my old old self again. Go to gameday phoenix.com today and book a free consultation in a matter of minutes at Game Day's In House lab. A licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to incorporate any number of these therap to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging and it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's Health locations in the valley@gameday phoenix.com Come on down.
- [00:41]
Brett Vesely
To the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal.
- [00:44]
John Holmberg
Pork Chili Verde, Chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best Breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork Chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving Southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road.
- [01:10]
Dick Toledo
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my.
- [01:12]
John Holmberg
Friend Wayne from AMCO. And Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?
- [01:18]
Brett Vesely
No, Larry, if you have an extended.
- [01:19]
John Holmberg
Service contract, you can use it at any amco. It's nice to have other options. I'll say Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles and faster service. Amco does more than just transmissions, right? Right.
- [01:30]
Brett Vesely
If you need car repairs or hear.
- [01:31]
John Holmberg
Feel, see, smell or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first. Just Google Amco for your nearest loc. That's Amco Double A, MCO Transmissions and a whole lot more.
- [01:41]
Brett Vesely
It's Brett Vesely from Holmberg's Morning Sickness and I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now, Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all. Look when it comes to H vac, plumbing or electrical issues, they're certified professional technicians. Deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate right Now Patrick Riley is a special for you guys. $1500 off a new AC system install plus up to $1100 in additional rebates. They offer same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out online @Patrick Riley services.com.
- [02:15]
John Holmberg
Still streaming Hberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It is 5:45 this the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's big dick Toledo. Off we go on a glorious Monday morning. A beautiful Monday morning. And starts off Easter keg week. Here we go. The Easter keg happens this Friday. Good Friday, you guys can search them all out. Got him sitting in, loading up, putting in the cars, finding hiding spots, doing all of our stuff. Easter keg gets going and we are wildly excited to have it happen once again. It's. I can't believe it's back. I don't know how many years we've done this, but it is a lot. Five grand in your pocket for the big winner. Everybody gets something when you go. I don't even. What is the price for finding a keg this year?
- [03:09]
Brett Vesely
They haven't told us.
- [03:10]
John Holmberg
They haven't told anybody. We don't know yet.
- [03:12]
Brett Vesely
Is it in the book though?
- [03:14]
Brady
Booking 100% this morning.
- [03:18]
John Holmberg
It'll be here today. Yeah. Is it not in here? Let's take a look. Yeah. I don't even know. Normally you get tickets to a concert if you just find one and then one of them's worth is there.
- [03:27]
Brett Vesely
Is it still a $5,000? I'm not saying anything.
- [03:30]
John Holmberg
Maybe it is. Yes. Okay. I know that to be true. Okay. Yeah, you're right. It's not in here.
- [03:37]
Brett Vesely
I know keg number one goes out on Thursday with me.
- [03:39]
John Holmberg
Right. You've got it. So Thursday we'll have the first one out and then the rest will all fly all over the valley for Friday morning. So you guys can safely seek out the kegs. Yeah, safely must be quite safe. Keg hunter. So if we want to. Want to get ready for that, start stretching. I think today's a good stretch day. Start mapping out some areas. I got some new spots this year I'm going to start working on. It should be a good time. So the Easter keg hunt is happening this Friday. Very exciting about that. I had a. I had a strangely a great day yesterday. But it was a sort of an odd. I have to say, interesting. I haven't golfed since August probably and Doug Hopkins called, said Go to golf game. Go. You want to go to Mace coach club? Like, I'm. I'll go special guest. I'm like, okay. I showed up. And in our foursome was ASU folk hero Cam Scatterboo, which is cool. Cam's so hanging out with him. I, you know, trying to tell him, got some info about his. His combine draft and all the other things. And I have to tell you that there's absolutely nothing to report as far as the day went by other than fun people having fun. But this kid is. He is so poised. And so it was. It's impressive to have anybody his age hanging out with a bunch of knobs like us. I mean, Doug Hopkins and I are the same age. I know. I know. That's hard to believe. Yeah. You've seen the commercials. I mean, there's no way you think. But it's. Yeah. We're a year apart, so. Yeah. So, you know, most of the time, somebody his age said, want to hang out with, he was awesome. So Cam was just such a cool guy, and I, you know, makes you want to root for him even more. And the best part is as poised, humble, and kind as he was the entire day, you couldn't help but notice the massive diamond chain he had around his neck that said scat in block letters about the size of a cell phone. It's huge. And he wore that gauze. Oh, yeah. It's hilarious. It was awesome. It looks great. It made me realize we were at this for. And Hopkins asked me. He goes, where'd you get that? And he goes, oh, my guy in Atlanta got it for me. I said, you know. He said, no money. What? You know, we're asking him all sorts of money, like, where this used to not be a thing. Like a college kid walking around with that, like, something. And he said, yeah. I said, they cover this. They do that. But, you know, it was all on the up and up with, like, this guy and that guy, but I had to pay for it. I just got a big discount. But it was. It was huge. It was like. It was hilariously rapper big. It was fine and stuck right on. But just this scat across his neck. I'm like, 24 years of doing radio, not one person has ever said, I'm going to build your name in diamonds the size of a small cell phone across your neck. I just want to give you. Give you a heads up that I'm going to do that for you.
- [06:23]
Brett Vesely
I get my money pond to get on that for you.
- [06:25]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Where's Byron Where's Eric? Where the. Where the boys? Over there at Momoney Pond with the jeweler's eye. Meticulously placing diamonds in something that says homie or something like that. Yeah, no, you can't do that. That would actually be. All right. Could have that across there, Homie. Bert Bogan, you get them all. And then Toledo's would be like amethyst or cubic zirconium. It wouldn't be legit, but it would be. Yeah. No one's ever tried it, but yeah, he was cool. Very cool person. And, you know, he'd figure, brad, I just have.
- [06:59]
Brady
Oh, yay.
- [07:00]
John Holmberg
If you have that too. If you had. I don't know how he's 23, 22, something like that. I don't know. Yeah. And maybe he's 28.
- [07:07]
Brady
He said so many years.
- [07:09]
John Holmberg
Well, he. Yeah, he's just talking to him was like, man, he's going through something. There's. You start putting that pressure on this. This kid. I mean, he's got a. He's going to get drafted. He doesn't know where you start realizing. It's a nice. It's a nice moment he's about to have. But this interim of not knowing anything about your life and having it be in everyone else's hands. He's flying all over the country. Meeting this week with, you know, New York and Detroit and all this, and they fly out and do that. And he did say his favorite at the combine was the Steelers. I brought. I had an extra terrible towel in my bag because I have them for wife and clubs and I had a new one in there. So I don't want you to have this. This is. Get used to these colors. He goes, the only thing I saved from any of my combine meetings was a terrible towel because it was my favorite meeting. I'm like, because Coach T, do you get Coach T? And he goes, that was great. So he had some. He had some moments. So he. But now he just sits and waits. He doesn't know where he's going to live.
- [08:01]
Brady
Anxiety.
- [08:01]
John Holmberg
He doesn't know if he's met the people that are going to draft him. It was pretty. It's a. It's like. It's just nerve wracking.
- [08:07]
Brady
The whole time, the stories that come out about how you did the combine and, oh, you know, you hear both.
- [08:13]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [08:14]
Brady
I mean, people, you know, the sporting world just like everything else likes to hear say, oh, this guy did not.
- [08:20]
John Holmberg
Oh, they show up.
- [08:21]
Brady
He's going to go. And his value just went down.
- [08:24]
John Holmberg
His analysis or Another one. The analysis is all over. He, you know, he is what he is. Everybody knows.
- [08:29]
Brett Vesely
How high should he get drafted? I don't watch enough. College soon.
- [08:32]
John Holmberg
Probably third. We were talking about that. I said, you're not going to. You're probably going to follow the Steelers because they don't have a second rounder and they're not doing second. Instead, in the third round, I don't think you're going to be where they are. He's projected to be a mid to late third rounder, probably special team, superstar running back, too. But I was, you know, just taken aback. Like, certain times you have to say something. So much news goes out about college athletes being dicks and whatever. This guy just hung out with strangers. He didn't know us and couldn't have been more gracious and cool. It was. It was fun. And you think, you know, I got a coddle and he's got the world by the ass. We had a great moment where he. He hit a putt and he just goes, do you know who I am? And I'm like, God damn it, that's what I want to hear. And then that became the phrase of the day. Anytime you do something good, you do know who I am. As all of us, because we all have a little bit. And then, you know, I get the guy drives his card over. Love the show. He goes and drives away and. And he goes, that guy knows you from the show. And I'm like, cammy, you'll never know. My day is just people. It's constant, constant recognition. You just. You can't get. You never get used to it. You'll probably never experience it. Yep, whatever. And then, you know, another guy comes up to him a few seconds later and taking pictures. But he was awesome. He was such a. Again, poise. That's all I kept seeing. I said, a kid who's got it together for as young as he is and as. As bad as everybody gives, you know, the reputation of people his age and what he's about to go through, you know, with. With Rocket Ship, I mean, he's. He's the king of ASU right now.
- [10:02]
Brett Vesely
He.
- [10:03]
John Holmberg
And I told him that. I said, you realize you're a folk hero. You're not going anywhere. No matter what happens. You could sell insurance. Starting tomorrow, you're always going to be that ASU. You're that ASU guy that, you know, 20 years from now, we'll be talking to the new ASU cam. Scatter. Boo. And you're. And they're going to Want to meet you. Like, you've got that, you got that. That swagger at the school until they actually win a national championship or do something huge. You're. You're one of those guys. He just looked at me to go, yeah, well, you know, undaunted by the entire thing. Just a good dude. Very cool and very, you know, a lot of people bugging him and coming up, wanting pictures. He was really cool about that, too. So how's his golf game? Terrible. It's horrible at golf. It's just horrible at it. Hopefully he's better at his draft interviews than he is at golf. None of us were any good. It was, you know, one of those days. We're just goofing around, having fun. I was impressed, though, because he's in the midst of training. He's. He wanted to drink and he stuck with water. And, yeah, we had a good time. It was. It was really cool. So thanks for Doug Hopkins for setting that up and, And Cam for being out there. And his buddy, he had his friend out there, Frank, who's just a mountain of a human being, 390 pound Frank, just mashing the ball. But it was. Yeah, it's a good group, but it took me by surprise. But we'll get, you know, we'll get Cam on the, on the show. He. I teach said it because Doug's like, you've never listened to the show. And he goes, I'd have to get up for that. I mean, he's in college. Like, what college kid is popping out of bed for not happening? So, yeah, it was cool. It was very neat. So you got a little hero there in asu, and it was a. It was a nice thing. And I'm also taken back that he's just a. What he's like. I don't know if he's maybe 5, 9, about 220, but you don't look at him and think, this guy's gonna run me over. Like, there's nothing really physically that makes you think, oh, boy, he's a specimen of, you know, just. He's just low center of gravity, full balance. It's just a. It's just strange to see somebody and you start thinking about the Giants that play in the NFL. It's like, man, quicker, a little quicker gig. Oh, he's got. Yeah, he's go. It's. It's, you know, there's some. There's some beasts out there. And then he did.
- [12:18]
Brady
Have.
- [12:18]
John Holmberg
I tried. I don't know if. I don't know if we got it or not. He had a bloody nose. And I said, well, there. It want that. I said, you're going to sign that? We're going to. We're going to sell your Cam Scatter boo. You know, face tampon this. His face was gushing blood. He's just dry nose. And then he turns to me, he goes, I picked my nose and I'd peel out these, and I'm like, well, wait a minute. What? Yeah, I pick my nose all the time. And I was peeling out this middle thing. My nose just bleeds. I'm like, you're not going to want to. I'm going to keep that out of the draft meetings and the interviews and stuff. Don't bring that up. We can't help it. It's all dried out. This towel was covered in blood. So if we can get the bloody scatter bootle, I'll get that sold to you guys and we'll have that happen. So, yeah, thanks to Cam. It was cool, and it is good. It was like those moments when you meet. You know, I always say, never meet your heroes. And it's not. Cam was not my hero, but I. We've been talking about him for a while. I remember. I remember watching a game about two years ago and telling you guys, I'm like, I don't know what's going on over here at asu. Yeah. But there's one kid on that team to watch, and I didn't know his name, so he's got a crazy name.
- [13:12]
Brady
Weeks after that, then I finally saw. I'm like, oh, my God.
- [13:15]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's so much fun to watch. He's. Yeah. So you start looking at somebody's got a little notoriety, and you start wondering, is he gonna be a dick? He wasn't. He was great. Doug Hopkins, on the other hand, still just, you know, it was so great. We went in at the end of the round of golf, into the. The 19th hole, the last. The playoff of the Masters was just starting. So we're like, oh, this is perfect. We didn't have to sit through any of the boring golf. We get to watch the final, watch them finish the 18th, and then it's like, oh, it's a playoff. Hopkins commercial comes on, and, you know, Doug's in there, and people know he's in there, and there's probably 80 people in this place. And I start the chorus of boos. Of course, when the commercial comes on, I begin booing the television. And then, of course, our whole table starts booing. Doug's laughing. All of mesa country club began booing Doug Hopkins loudly for the 35 seconds that that spot was. That was hilarious.
- [14:06]
Brett Vesely
Does he sing along with his own commercial?
- [14:08]
John Holmberg
We all ended up singing the jingle. Yeah, we all. You can't help it, even if you're upset. One. Yeah. Call Doug Hopkins. 1-800-Cell- Now. So, yeah, it was. It was fun. It was a good day yesterday. And then today we. We worry only about the Amelia Earhart of space. Travel is happening. The Blue Origin.
- [14:27]
Brady
Space.
- [14:27]
John Holmberg
Yeah, the broads in space. It's an all girl crew going up in space. Katy Perry, Gayle King. So a bunch of chicks, they're all going to go up there. Just women.
- [14:40]
Brady
Carrie Ann Flynn.
- [14:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [14:42]
Brady
They got Amanda Win.
- [14:43]
John Holmberg
They had this. Do you realize the amount of pressure on these women? Yeah, I'm looking at that same picture. The amount of pressure on these women today to absolutely score this hit. They have got to land this perfectly or jackasses like me will have a field day with it for the rest of my life. You must have a perfect flight.
- [15:06]
Brady
But is it up to them to land it?
- [15:09]
John Holmberg
Well, there's women flying it.
- [15:12]
Brady
I don't know.
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John Holmberg
I mean, how much all women, Brady.
- [15:14]
Brady
It's not like the SpaceX.
- [15:16]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
- [15:17]
Brady
It was like.
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John Holmberg
It's okay.
- [15:18]
Brady
Automated.
- [15:19]
John Holmberg
All women inside of there. So even if it's automated, the trouble's going to be that there's. It's an all female thing.
- [15:27]
Brett Vesely
How long's the flight?
- [15:28]
Brady
I know that factors in.
- [15:29]
John Holmberg
People forget. Amelia Earhart had a dude up there that she crashed with that was supposed to be the navigator, but she was the pilot. The flight's 11 minutes.
- [15:38]
Brett Vesely
Imagine the bitching that can happen in 11 minutes.
- [15:40]
John Holmberg
I don't know if they're going to get. You know, that's. You don't think they're going to get along?
- [15:45]
Brett Vesely
Nice pumps, Katie.
- [15:46]
Brady
I think the 11 minutes will be fine. It's getting in there early.
- [15:49]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's. He's. He may be right. Is that by the time they're in there, like, oh, if Gail says one more goddamn thing to me.
- [15:55]
Brett Vesely
Look at this.
- [15:56]
John Holmberg
Yeah. It's like the show White Lotus. They had three ladies on the show that were on vacation together. And the entire premise of their story arc was that they talked about each other behind each other's backs. They weren't real good friends.
- [16:09]
Brett Vesely
That's what's happening.
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John Holmberg
And I even, like, as I'm watching, I'm like, this is like putting women in a bad light. Like it. Like they can't have A week together without imploding. You know, eventually one hates the other, or they just argue and bicker because they won't stop badmouthing. Like, that's not really. Like some women should get on this and start saying, hey, this isn't right. This we can go out and have. But of course, nobody did because it was so realistic. They. Of course they can't go on a vacation for a week together. That sounds crazy, but 11 minutes, that might be the limit. That might be just about right. But we'll see. And Katy Perry and Gayle King will be up there with rocket scientists and Asia Bo. She's a bio astronaut. Astronautics. Jesus, I don't even know what that is. Research scientist and civil rights activist Amanda Wynn. A lady named Carrie Ann Flynn. The whole thing's going up. You're going up. And I don't know what time it happens, but lady traveling is about to begin. And I say, remember the last one anyone thinks about? It was Bezos. Was it Bezos? And Shatner was up there. And then a Strahan went up and another flight, a few. So if you do an all female crew and something goes wrong, this is where I think women have flown it with this kind of stuff. Do a. Mostly female. In case something goes wrong. It may not even be your fault. But if there's a dude on there, at least it wasn't known as the All. Remember the. The New Zealand boat. That was the first time. And they made a big deal. It's the first time. It's an all female crew with a female captain. And they crashed. They crashed it into New Zealand, I think. I think they ran directly into their home country and sunk the boat. And of course it's gonna. It makes for jokes. Have a couple guys on there in case something goes sideways. That way you can say, well, he was doing. He screwed it up. Amelia Earhart's supporters never lean on that dude's name. Should be remembered too. The guy that was up there with her.
- [18:03]
Brett Vesely
Yeah. Nobody knows that.
- [18:03]
John Holmberg
Nobody knows his name. He never looks at myself.
- [18:06]
Brett Vesely
We can celebrate.
- [18:07]
John Holmberg
We can celebrate. Yes. Well, I mean, it's just not a crash plane because. And here's the reason why she was screaming and yelling, I get all the credit for this. If I land it, I'll be the first woman to make this flight. And he's like, I'll take a backseat to that. Don't screw it up, because if you're getting all the credit, you're getting all the blame. And sure enough, no one knows his name. And even in the movie, no one knows who that guy is.
- [18:29]
Brett Vesely
Fred Noonan. We need to celebrate.
- [18:32]
John Holmberg
Fred Freddie Noonan?
- [18:33]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [18:33]
John Holmberg
Guy who took the bullet. All right. You want to fly across the world? I sure do. All right. I don't want anybody to know who I am in case you dump it. Fine, Fred. You know I won't. I'll be the first woman to fly this flight and it'll be perfect. All right, all right, don't bring me up then. Just.
- [18:51]
Brady
Sounds good.
- [18:52]
John Holmberg
I'm gonna go back here, I'm gonna.
- [18:54]
Brady
Take a little nap.
- [18:54]
John Holmberg
You got. That's what. See? And there it is, right there. You just assume he took his hands off the wheel for a second and then the other way around, they were lost.
- [19:01]
Brett Vesely
Calm down, toots. Let me know if you run into a problem.
- [19:04]
John Holmberg
It seems like we got this. You put her on autopilot. Call me when we're about to land. Fred wakes up yawning. What's going on? I don't know where we are. I made a turn. I don't know. I don't know. It's also blue.
- [19:17]
Brady
Sure is foggy.
- [19:18]
John Holmberg
Yeah, this is nuts. All I see is water. How big is this planet? Oh, great. How much gas do we have? Oh, it's on the E. We'll be okay. Yeah, it's. It was. You know.
- [19:32]
Brady
You missed our stop.
- [19:33]
John Holmberg
Yeah, we had an exit. You missed our exit. Do you know where we are? We're going to Sedona, and somehow or another we're in. Page, I took a two hour nap. How did this happen? Yeah, so the all girl blue origin heading up now. I got my fingers crossed for you ladies. I want this to be a success. Because if it's not, jerk offs like me are going to make fun of it forever. Amelia Earhart crashed so long ago, and still we can reference her as a, you know, a goofy broad with no inner compass. Exactly. And I've pointed it out a million times, ladies, it's your fault that Amelia Earhart gets made fun of by guys because you keep. They were. There was a movement to put her on money. Like your only aeronautical hero is known for crashing. You don't want to put her on Money.
- [20:29]
Brady
I think 6:30 this morning is liftoff our time. Yeah.
- [20:32]
John Holmberg
Oh, boy.
- [20:32]
Brady
9:30 Eastern.
- [20:34]
John Holmberg
That's 6:30. We're 25 and a half minutes away, boys. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Hawkins already texted me. You are such a dick. I didn't say anything bad about you, Doug. I just said we're the same age and then made relevance to the Fact that no one believes that it's true. Another story I saw this weekend and I don't know how this hasn't been a bigger deal. What a headline. This is Eunuch maker. Mutilator.
- [21:06]
Brett Vesely
Eunuch.
- [21:07]
John Holmberg
Eunuch maker.
- [21:08]
Brady
The dude was people volunteering for it.
- [21:11]
John Holmberg
At least his M.O. he was a mutilator. It says a self styled eunuch maker who mutilated it was. Yeah, it was people who did it paying customers and streamed it online. Has been jailed for 22 years. So if you wanted to be a eunuch, he'd do it for you for a fee. Said Marius Gustavsson. Admitted offenses including five counts of causing grievous bodily harm with intent. Described as a. At a three day sentencing at the Old Bailey as a lunatic and a manipulator and a butcher. 46, had a business, lucrative business in extreme body modifications. And the judge said all right, that's crazy. You're gruesome, you're grisly. This is terrifying. Extremely dangerous. This is a guy who. It was a story a while ago nobody believed. But he cooked what appeared to be human testicles and then put them on a plate. He kept body parts as trophies and stuff like that. But I'm reading this thing and as I was reading it I was like a. We should have known about this more often, right? We should have. We should have been listening to the Munich or the Unic maker. Munich Yeager, the Unic maker for years. We should have known this existed as a store because it was a store.
- [22:23]
Brett Vesely
It was a store.
- [22:23]
John Holmberg
It was a store. Body modification storefront.
- [22:26]
Brady
Like get it all.
- [22:28]
John Holmberg
It's been next to Gilbert Ortega.
- [22:31]
Brett Vesely
Oh, you got to be kidding.
- [22:32]
John Holmberg
The eunuch maker. And you could go in there and have your body mutilated Foa Fee. I didn't think it was people who were. I thought that he got in trouble for doing it against their will because he liked it so much.
- [22:42]
Brady
I under a Mr. I thought it was unique maker.
- [22:45]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you're just bad with letters. Dude was chopping people up and it was a store. It was a lucrative store. So I thought he had a store where he'd do like you know, the.
- [22:59]
Brady
Lips or other models. Just a little.
- [23:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Things I don't understand. Like why in the world would you, you know, want spears in your lats, you know, to hang out. That's body modification. I don't understand.
- [23:12]
Brady
Horns.
- [23:12]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. Putting horns in, doing those little bumps, those weird metal things that stick out of people's skulls and getting. Getting stuff screwed into your skull like all that to me seems like you're just making it a pain in the ass to go to the airport with you. Like that's all I see. If you've got all that junk, can.
- [23:28]
Brady
You split my penis?
- [23:29]
John Holmberg
Yeah, sure can, sure.
- [23:31]
Brady
At the unixtoke.
- [23:33]
John Holmberg
That's a. That's right here. It's a 5B if you want to order off the menu of the 5B. Throwing a 6B too. And I'll have, I'll have some horns shoved under my skull. Just a pain in the ass to go to the airport with. You know, Prince Albert's those gigantic things. I don't understand. This guy went to jail for it because he took it too far. People would come in and say, lob my nuts off and hang on to him and he'd do it. He didn't have any boundaries, but he had a pay per view website also. Like you could watch him do this online.
- [24:10]
Brady
Procedures.
- [24:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Which makes me wonder how come he's in jail.
- [24:12]
Brady
Yeah. And the mutilating part of it, I mean, you think one or two, then you have something. But it was successful. They just didn't like the fact that he's. That people are signing up wanting to have this done.
- [24:28]
John Holmberg
Yes. I don't know. I think it's because he started to save stuff. He said that he had other people perform procedures on him, including having a nipple and his penis removed, you know, by some people. Like, could you do this for me? I'll give you a discount. And then he had a frozen leg. He kept like somebody. And that was the thing he was doing like amputations evidently. I don't know. But if there's a store, that's just bad police work. If it's known as the body mutilation store. I kind of look at it like if the, if the, you know, free market. Like there's a body mutilation store over there next to Madea's bar and it's doing gangbusters business. Well then, you know, the market supports it. There's a. There's a group that you should be allowed to do it.
- [25:16]
Brady
Wonder if you had a wheel in there. You spin the wheel for the parts that you're gonna. That they'll take off. You wanna take a chance.
- [25:22]
John Holmberg
Hopefully you went in with a plan. There's not a lot of just browsing.
- [25:27]
Brady
I wanna take something off.
- [25:28]
John Holmberg
I'm just looking. Thank you. Are you sure? Want to spin this wheel? Sure. Oh, cool. Left. That's coming off today. Oh, wow. All right. Well, uno he cars off your cans I spun it.
- [25:41]
Brady
It's pretty fun. I lost a nipple.
- [25:44]
John Holmberg
Check it out. I went to the mutilation room. I wasn't gonna buy anything, but the guy was really convincing. We have people down in our sales department struggle selling this wonderful product. This guy was running a lucrative business, cutting off people's nipples and wieners. We should get him downstairs. Screw putting him in jail. Let's get rid of Ed now. We all kind of look at Ed like he might have a. A frozen leg in his house, too, but you never know. But, yeah.
- [26:13]
Brady
Got a lampshade on it.
- [26:15]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. It's like a major award.
- [26:18]
Brett Vesely
Oh, and they'll sell them advertising down there.
- [26:20]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, and we get goose stuff down there. Let's have him selling some kupd. I guarantee at one of those KDKB festivals, his booth's gonna go crazy.
- [26:31]
Brett Vesely
Oh, lopping everything, love.
- [26:32]
John Holmberg
Putting rings through things over there. Anyway, that was a real story. Another thing I saw Saturday morning riding my bike, and this makes me mad. I'm. I went. My bike was downtown, so I went and got my bike Saturday and rode it home. It's like 10 miles. It's not that big a deal. So I'm riding up. It's empty. And I'm riding up the road, and there's a guy jogging towards me. And I'm like. My eyes aren't quite right. I'm like, what is that? Like, something's not right. And we get to the light at McDowell and Central at the same time. He's on the north side. I'm on the south side. We're gonna cross. But he stayed. And so that was his turnaround point. So he starts running the other way, and I'm like, oh, he's only got one arm. That's why it looks so funny. I never seen a guy running with his shirt off with just one arm. And it was all the way up to the shoulder. Like, shoulder gone, one arm, sleeve tucked, no, no shirt, shirtless. And he's just, you know, jogging with his one good arm. So I get. My bike gets. I get to the next thing, and we hit the light to wait. And next to me is one arm man. Jogger. This is twice in a week I've had one armed guys blow me away, Suns game, and then this. And I look at him, and he's just ripped. He's got chest muscles. And how.
- [27:49]
Brady
Yeah, how does a one side get. How do you work? Get pec. Work out.
- [27:54]
John Holmberg
It was shredded.
- [27:56]
Brett Vesely
Like, it was just.
- [27:56]
John Holmberg
It was out, like, shoulders, you know, it was Maybe slight nub, but for the most part gone. I wouldn't say even nub, just. Yeah, probably up to the shoulder joint. The humerus bone is gone. So it was like. And it was tight there too. It was like a straight line. But his left pec, which was armless, was outstanding. My God. You can't do push ups. I mean, I'm trying to think of one exercise a one armed man could do to have a better chest than me when I work all the time and it never seems to do anything. He might have gone to the mutilation store. How in the world?
- [28:36]
Brady
Yeah, because it seemed like it would be. The only thing is bench pressing and doing different presses.
- [28:41]
John Holmberg
Push ups. Bench press. Yeah.
- [28:42]
Brett Vesely
He's doing planks and stuff like that.
- [28:44]
John Holmberg
If he's one side, isn't that just laying down, Brad? I think so. How in the world did. And I wanted to stop him and go, I need you to be my trainer. You've only got one arm and you have a better body than most of the people I know. But you can't do that. That's weird to do to a stranger. Hey, one arm man, come home with me. But I've never seen it before. How does a one armed man have amazing pecs? How?
- [29:08]
Brady
He went to the unique. Unique store.
- [29:10]
John Holmberg
He has to. They had to implant that. But it was.
- [29:13]
Brady
That could be too.
- [29:14]
John Holmberg
But he's got to keep the other side in shape.
- [29:17]
Brady
Could be fresh too.
- [29:19]
John Holmberg
Oh, he just lost. He looked pretty confident though. Pretty shirtless confidence. I think after you lose an arm after. If that was. If he was in the shape he was in with two arms, losing his arm was gonna keep him. He's not gonna just jump right back out there without his shirt on. I'm guessing he's got some, you know, insecurities at a certain point. Nope, never seen anything like it. Don't know how it worked. I have no idea. Can you just sit and flex that thing all day? How do you do it?
- [29:49]
Brady
Yeah, but I don't know if that would build it.
- [29:51]
John Holmberg
I don't think it. Not the way it was. And it wasn't like he was jacked. He was just in. Like it was just defined. It was very defined, even armless. Incredible chest. I said the armless guy goes by arm solo on social media. He does Spartan races. He's a badass. But how's. Okay, maybe that's true. How do you get that one? That one should be gone.
- [30:15]
Brady
During the Masters coverage, they kept showing. I don't think it was the first tee but it was. There's a bunch of. I mean, I saw the commercial I don't know how many times, but they're all one armed golfers.
- [30:26]
John Holmberg
Oh, no kidding.
- [30:27]
Brady
It's a new.
- [30:28]
John Holmberg
It's a thing.
- [30:29]
Brady
We're gonna deal there.
- [30:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's one arm golf. Well, that seems pointless. This one says they make attachments so you can work out dude's got no arm to attach to.
- [30:44]
Brett Vesely
Well, you say he's got a little nub there.
- [30:47]
John Holmberg
All right.
- [30:48]
Brett Vesely
I don't know.
- [30:48]
John Holmberg
I'm just never seen that either. It was just an attachment. Isn't the other arm doing all the work? I'm not a, you know, I'm not a doctor.
- [31:00]
Brady
I'm sure think if there was something.
- [31:01]
John Holmberg
Just a. I don't get it.
- [31:03]
Brady
Even a straight pole and you have to push with your peck. I don't know.
- [31:07]
John Holmberg
I don't know how you do that. Look, I'm saying I got two arms and I can't get a chest as good as his. That's my problem. It's really difficult. Anyway, just thought I'd point that out. Well, I'm glad we know who he is. There's people who are saying I've seen that guy.
- [31:20]
Brett Vesely
Is this guy.
- [31:23]
John Holmberg
That's a dog showing me a picture of. I don't think so. Maybe. That guy looks like he's struggling. Spend six days in the gym in.
- [31:34]
Brady
Relentless pursuit of personal gain.
- [31:36]
John Holmberg
Got a rubber band on his. Other way. I could be strong enough to hold my daughter for as long as possible. Well, I was impressed. That might be him. CrossFit and Guy had a hat just because they're pretty wild and wow. It's kind of my style.
- [31:48]
Dick Toledo
Jeremy is 30 years old and in.
- [31:50]
John Holmberg
The best shape of his life, which is. Lord, look at that. He's a machine. He was two years ago. No one knows exactly what happened. But he's got enough though. He's got like a nub that might be a little bit. That might be him.
- [32:01]
Brady
Motorcycle. Yep.
- [32:03]
John Holmberg
Yeah, motorcycle wreck. That may be him. I don't know. Whatever he's doing, I need to get on board. Might chop my arm off. I'm going to the unit store and I'm gonna body mutilate and try to get a better.
- [32:16]
Brett Vesely
Sell the tonal and get on the UNIX store.
- [32:18]
John Holmberg
This tonal thing, which I love, is just not cutting it the same way. It is that losing an arm. The losing an arm guy is just wrecked. It's crazy. Get his shirt off. And he looked great. See, even this guy doesn't have his shirt off now.
- [32:34]
Brett Vesely
There you go.
- [32:35]
John Holmberg
Well, I mean, that's him with both arms, though. That's before the wreck. He's a little thicker there. I don't know. It might have been him. I was just kind of blown away by it. I know the signs and wonders, the marvels of the universe. It just made you feel. It makes you feel like you're, you know, a whole lump of nothing.
- [32:52]
Brady
There's one armed Golfers who are hitting the ball.
- [32:55]
John Holmberg
Yeah. They crush it. Well, there was the old pitcher. Was it Dave Dravecki? Is that the dude whose arm fell off when he was pitching? Remember him? Yeah, he was playing. I watched him play golf. One armed. He was remarkably good at it. And he had to learn that in his, like, 50s because his arm fell off in his 30s and he started taking up golf later. The guy. I'll try this. Like, man, that's. But I guess if you only had one arm, that's the way you play. So I might be better at golf with one arm. Not very good at it with two.
- [33:25]
Brett Vesely
People are saying, Jim Abbott. But he was just missing a hand. He still had the down wrist.
- [33:30]
John Holmberg
I believe he was chubby. He didn't have a. He didn't have a body on him. Man, if I lost a. If I lost a finger, I'd be fat like a week later. Like, I'd be so. I'd be so. I can't do anything. I'm a finger. What do you expect me to do? Pick things up? I. I have nine. I'd be the worst amputee ever. I'm not one of those inspirational guys you'd see on TV later, you know, climbing trees and, you know, do I.
- [33:57]
Brett Vesely
Troy Hayden's not gonna be interviewed.
- [33:59]
John Holmberg
Man, the inspiration on this guy be just like, no, I'm just denting a couch. That's my. I lost either.
- [34:05]
Brady
But here's the bridge that he jumped off this.
- [34:07]
John Holmberg
Yeah, we found the one. Our man dangling by his rope. I would. Yeah. There would not be a. There'd be nothing to that story. It'd be like I'd be known as the couch wrecker because I blow through couches like crazy just making huge dents where I don't move for days. He hasn't gotten him. The. The best thing about my one armed life would be my water bill because I wouldn't even shower. What's the point? I'd be horrible at it.
- [34:31]
Brett Vesely
Tommy Lee Jones isn't going to be chasing you all around the.
- [34:34]
John Holmberg
Nope. There'd be none of that. No, you Kill anybody in my family and whatever. I'm not even. I'm not even looking into it. I've only got the one arm. It's crazy. Anyway, one arm guy, Tip of the cap to you. I was feeling pretty good about myself because I never get up to do anything on a Saturday and I wanted to get my bike, get my bike home and ride by this Adonis with one arm. I'm like, well, I'm not doing anything. And what did I do the second I got home? Ham and cheese sandwich. I worked it all. I worked it all right back on. I could have been, you know, nice 10 mile ride, brisk, strong. Man.
- [35:10]
Brett Vesely
You didn't ride your bike in front of the light rail or anything like that for seeing one arm, man, Just.
- [35:14]
John Holmberg
I thought about it. I thought about it. It's like, I'll never be. He's everything. I. I'm a lump of nothing. Yeah.
- [35:22]
Brady
I felt the other way a little.
- [35:23]
John Holmberg
Bit this weekend because you feel pretty jacked.
- [35:26]
Brady
Not jacked, but a little bit better because I watched the whale. Finally, the Brendan Fraser one.
- [35:31]
John Holmberg
That was an inspirational movie. The other way.
- [35:34]
Brady
Feel a little bit better about yourself.
- [35:37]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's a good way to look at that. Wow. Those rose colored glasses were the meta. Rose glasses. Oh, man, this movie's uplifting.
- [35:45]
Brady
You know what? I'm gonna go play golf.
- [35:46]
John Holmberg
That's one of the most depressing, most depressing movies I've watched maybe ever. And Brady took it as, this is great. Things aren't so bad. I've got a lot of room to grow. Yeah, that's a tough one.
- [35:59]
Brady
Oh, yeah, that's why. I mean, is it two years old?
- [36:03]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [36:03]
Brady
Like, why do I. Why would I watch this movie?
- [36:07]
John Holmberg
What motivated you to watch the whale in the first place?
- [36:09]
Brady
Ronnie? We were looking at me. You want to watch this?
- [36:11]
John Holmberg
She said, you need to see something. Sit down, I want to show you something.
- [36:15]
Brady
Sandwich in my hand. The whale put it down in the plate.
- [36:18]
John Holmberg
Was your face all wet from the grease and stuff? That was my. That was the hardest thing about that movie is his face was always just coated.
- [36:26]
Brady
That's what I was thinking was like, imagine doing those, just doing the scenes.
- [36:30]
John Holmberg
Just covered in oils and greases. Freddie watched the whale and said, I'm doing all right. That is a great spin on a movie that's supposed to have a totally different message.
- [36:49]
Brady
But too bad for him.
- [36:52]
John Holmberg
Some guys just don't know how to keep it together. Ronnie's just staring at you. What did you take from that? What did I take from that? I got a ton of room. This is great. Thanks for showing me that. I was kind of down on myself. And now the whale. You have goals. I'm not the whale. Like, anytime Bronnie's like, I think you put on a couple extra. Nah, Come on. Not even close to the whale. That's. That's where we draw lines. All right. I suppose they had a big dinner because you're like, oh, celebration there.
- [37:33]
Brady
That meatball sub, that double meatball sub that she'd bring them.
- [37:36]
John Holmberg
You're looking in the mirror scene.
- [37:37]
Brady
That's.
- [37:38]
John Holmberg
That looks good. I mean, you're essentially, you know, Dallas Buyers Club at this point. When you look in the mirror, there's nothing about you that should feel bad at all. You're not the whale.
- [37:49]
Brady
Walk the dogs.
- [37:50]
John Holmberg
Oh, dude, I'm gonna get your shirt. Says I'm not the whale. And just thumbs up on the mom. It's perfect. Let's get a wake up song. Start this day off beautifully as we head towards the Easter keg hunt on Friday. You give it to us good and strong. We'll scream it. 585-9800. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 KT.
- [38:16]
Brett Vesely
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feldface performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see.
- [38:31]
John Holmberg
For yourself on that one.
- [38:33]
Brett Vesely
And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's.
- [38:46]
Dick Toledo
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- [39:19]
Brett Vesely
It's Brett Vesely from Homeburg's morning sickness, and I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now, Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all look. When it comes to H vac, plumbing or electrical issues, they're certified professional technicians. Deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate. Right now, Patrick Riley is a special for you guys. 1500 dollars off a new AC system install, plus up to 1100 dollars in additional rebates. They offer same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out online at patrickridleyservices.com.
- [39:52]
John Holmberg
Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Brett's checking right now to see if the rocket is airborne. The girl rocket is in the air. Thanks. Miles to nowhere, Brett is diligently searching to make sure it might have got lost. Yeah, yeah. Somewhere over the Indian Ocean. Wouldn't it be ironic if that one crashed and when we looked for it, we found Amelia.
- [40:20]
Brett Vesely
Oh, man. And poor Fred Noonan.
- [40:23]
John Holmberg
Noonan's sitting there with his hands in the air. You know what the best thing that could happen for women's history is if they found the Amelia plane and Fred was in the pilot's seat and Amelia was in his lap that nobody ever even considered. Two of them got a little excited anyway.
- [40:44]
Brady
Too cloudy. Did they scrap it? Is it in the air right now?
- [40:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I don't see anything. Well, while you're looking, you keep us up to date, give us an update. I was watching the news last night, and you know who else? I didn't realize AI was going to take this job away. Remember, like all. Every, every time you watch some mystery of we're looking for a guy, you know, when we got a suspect. And usually on TV or movies, it's more interesting if there's like a kid.
- [41:13]
Brett Vesely
I don't know what this is here neither.
- [41:14]
John Holmberg
That's the old one.
- [41:15]
Brett Vesely
Says live.
- [41:15]
John Holmberg
That's it. They're down already. Hold on. We'll get back to the other from the viewing platform. I mean, not a dry eye in the stand. I tell you right now. Khloe, I just want to know from your perspective, Khloe Kardashian moment.
- [41:28]
Brett Vesely
Go to the professional.
- [41:29]
John Holmberg
Just realized how emotional it was going to be, and I literally had my body from the second it launched. She's had so much of a nose, so much of her nose removed, and it's sort of hard to explain because I don't think you think you would be that emotional. Michael Jackson's nose. We need to apologize to the Jackson estate because we used to make fun of him all the time. He is evidently the standard women are looking for with plastic surgery. They all look like Michael now. And everything went so well. There's the mom. So that's a relief because, you know, I'm sure there's a lot of nurses equally as nasally from the lack of nose and having such.
- [42:04]
Brett Vesely
Why are they there?
- [42:05]
John Holmberg
Said they saw the Kardashian women watching. They weren't on the ship. I cannot wait to get the footage from inside and to hear that. I want to hear every. Yeah, that's a weird thing. Altogether that the Kardashian ladies are. What are the chances? The pink moon, the rocket launch. It's so exciting.
- [42:22]
Brett Vesely
None of the sisters went up. None of the.
- [42:24]
John Holmberg
Yeah, there isn't a Kardashian tie to this at all.
- [42:26]
Brett Vesely
None of the athletes are there. Banging went up. I mean, I don't know.
- [42:31]
John Holmberg
The rocket shaped like a huge dick. They had to go to the desert to see that. Oh, that makes sense now. Blue origin looks like a giant dick. And she thought, oh, I gotta go see that. No, they just are drawn through phallic shaped firing items.
- [42:45]
Brady
So they. Do they. I always wonder this. They delay the opening of the door because they have to decompress or something. I don't know.
- [42:52]
John Holmberg
I don't know.
- [42:53]
Brett Vesely
They're probably still fighting in there.
- [42:54]
Brady
Oh.
- [42:55]
Brett Vesely
So, yeah, it was my chapstick.
- [42:57]
John Holmberg
Dude just tumbled.
- [42:58]
Brady
Was that Bezos?
- [42:59]
John Holmberg
I don't know. Some guy just fell in the middle of the desert. Kristen. Ariane. I don't know what to say. Interesting. I. I did cry. I did cry. I didn't think I was gonna cry. Tabitha, I love you putting them on the spot there. Why?
- [43:11]
Brett Vesely
Why is she crying?
- [43:12]
John Holmberg
Because it's just women in space. And they made it back okay.
- [43:15]
Brett Vesely
They sat there.
- [43:16]
Brady
History, right?
- [43:17]
Brett Vesely
They sat there. They didn't fly. They didn't pilot the thing. It literally went up and down.
- [43:22]
John Holmberg
So much Tabitha for that. And you could. You could see that. You can hear that. You can hear from Tabitha. Even she is emotional and has. I don't understand why you're emotional, but you're right. That is weird.
- [43:32]
Brett Vesely
Well, they sat there. They're passengers.
- [43:34]
Brady
A bunch of women together. It's a grand opening of a store. Maybe they're all gonna get emotion.
- [43:39]
John Holmberg
The intensity and the energy, that was emotion. That was sexless, remote place. But it all gathers here in this valley. And it's really. That is very strange. Terrible. I guess I'm not understanding the. The big deal here. It gets me every time.
- [43:55]
Brett Vesely
Well, anytime somebody says I get it.
- [43:57]
John Holmberg
What's so exciting about it? They're not even like the first women to do it. They're just the first gaggle of women to do it. Like, there's just no dudes on the thing. You know, women. You guys celebrate us not being around an awful lot. There were no men in sight. It was an inspiration. I'm like, what. What the hell?
- [44:13]
Brett Vesely
Why we should.
- [44:14]
John Holmberg
Why can't we be included in stuff?
- [44:16]
Brett Vesely
We should have went to title nine today for the viewing party.
- [44:18]
John Holmberg
Oh, that would have been not a dry eye. I bet you they like. They have a clock that just. The bell goes off and like, all right, ladies, sync up. And everybody's periods just start right there. They only got four.
- [44:33]
Brett Vesely
Open the goddamn door that high.
- [44:37]
John Holmberg
Jesus through all this and they still want a man to open a door for him to see that when they step out of the cab.
- [44:43]
Brett Vesely
Sir, I got a quick set key in my pocket. Let's go.
- [44:46]
John Holmberg
I'm not opening that door. Chivalry's not completely dead when they minds are being blown. That's why the Kardashians are there. Things are being blown after we all.
- [44:58]
Brett Vesely
The Rivian's out there crew.
- [45:00]
John Holmberg
You see there? I am knocked out by Chloe's new surgery. Though she looked like a different person.
- [45:05]
Brady
I don't think she can breathe through that nose.
- [45:07]
John Holmberg
Anyway, girl rocket is back. And evidently some sort of an accomplishment for ladies in general. All of the. The broad walks out first. Isn't it more offensive to. To be a little bit surprised and emotional that it made it back? Nothing gets tripped up. Also, like, shouldn't it be like act. It's almost the Barry Sanders thing. Act like you've been there, you know. Yeah, of course we made it back. Was anybody thinking otherwise? Three and a half. You're in tears. It was so inspirational.
- [45:32]
Brett Vesely
You.
- [45:32]
John Holmberg
That means you kind of thought maybe it wasn't going to go right. That much. That much more comfortable.
- [45:38]
Brett Vesely
Who was the guy? Who was the person controlling it? Was it a guy?
- [45:41]
John Holmberg
We don't talk about that. Well. What.
- [45:43]
Brett Vesely
I'm just saying these broads were just riding up there.
- [45:45]
John Holmberg
It was just basic. Yeah, it was kind of a. It's kind of like didn't do anything. If. If there was a.
- [45:50]
Brady
You don't know that, Brett.
- [45:51]
John Holmberg
That big octopus ride at Food City carnivals and stuff that goes. And if it was all women on there. That. Like some emotional thing afterwards. But the carny that's working the stick is like, all right, I. I made.
- [46:01]
Brett Vesely
The thing spin with the faded Leonard Skynyrd shirt.
- [46:05]
John Holmberg
I guess I'm no hero for hitting the go button. Suborbital space flight. You feel great. You don't have to deal with space sickness. Right?
- [46:13]
Brady
It's.
- [46:13]
John Holmberg
Exactly, Exactly. And that's, you know. Oh, Christ.
- [46:16]
Brett Vesely
They were there 11 minutes.
- [46:18]
John Holmberg
Space sickness.
- [46:19]
Brady
Open the door.
- [46:21]
Brett Vesely
It takes longer to drive to auction pavilion from here.
- [46:24]
John Holmberg
There's just in seven ladies gone, all inside. They won't open that thing because it became a little tomb. Anyway, it's pretty neat technology.
- [46:34]
Brett Vesely
I. I'll leave it up till they open the door, at least.
- [46:38]
John Holmberg
I don't know. Do they still. Is there? Is there? I just.
- [46:41]
Brett Vesely
They're probably fighting who's coming out the door first?
- [46:43]
John Holmberg
And I get to go first. You've hogged the window the whole time, Katie. Oh, they're going to be so much emotion coming out of there. Like they're. They're going to act like that's never happened before. But again, didn't Lauren Sanchez go up there once? Yeah. Yeah.
- [46:57]
Brady
I thought she already.
- [46:58]
John Holmberg
Yeah, there's been women up there already. This isn't a first.
- [47:01]
Brady
Maybe she didn't. Maybe she was just there.
- [47:03]
John Holmberg
Yeah, but there's been women in the. In the thing. Are you kidding? You know much trouble they'd have gotten into if we'd have just kept that male base, the nobody but men riding in the big dick. Anyway, no. Congratulations, lady. You finally did it. The thing that's been done a bunch of times. It's a good ride on a relatively awesome, technologically superior thingy. And you know what? Your heroes, the Kardashians, were there to witness it all.
- [47:30]
Brett Vesely
Thank God.
- [47:31]
John Holmberg
Your spokespeople are Chloe and Mom.
- [47:34]
Brett Vesely
Did somebody forget the key? They're like, oh, there we go. I took the door closed again.
- [47:38]
John Holmberg
Bezos out there, right by the couch. There's Bezos.
- [47:40]
Brady
He was the one that tumbled.
- [47:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he fell down. Is Jeff Bezos, our founder on the left, as well as Sarah Knights, our crew member seven. They can't get them. And I just want to thank our viewers.
- [47:55]
Brett Vesely
Just open the goddamn door.
- [47:57]
John Holmberg
New Shepherd's 31st mission to space. Our 11th human got a crowbar. There's the 11th time, and the Kardashians are sobbing. You can't tell, though, because their faces are frozen. But anyway, well, there you go. Girlfright is a success. I'm. I. To be honest with you, I Guess I'm the only feminist in the world. I expected them to make it back without any problems. Evidently there was. This was touch and go. To everyone thinking this was possibly going to sail off into space. I. I anticipated, based on the fact they've done this multiple times, that we were going to be all right. I was rooting for it to be good. I don't think it. I don't think it's any monumental feat for ladies that Katy Perry and Gail King went into the sky. I think that makes one small step. I don't think. I don't think you're going to get paid evenly because of this. You got bigger fish to fry anyway.
- [48:54]
Brett Vesely
But Bezos sent him up 70%.
- [48:56]
John Holmberg
It cost him nothing.
- [48:57]
Brady
Look at those 4x4 Blue Origin crew wagons.
- [49:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that is an all. Now that is techno. What is that? It's a four wheel drive van. That was the coolest thing I've ever seen. Cooler even than a rocket. Let's get the ladies behind the wheel of that thing. Yeah, the chicks are just.
- [49:15]
Brett Vesely
And imagine ladies in there. Can you open the door already?
- [49:18]
John Holmberg
Look, I gotta pee. I am a little nervous right now. Bezos has a crowbar.
- [49:21]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [49:22]
John Holmberg
And he's the only one standing next to the pod. That seems like they might be struggling with the door. Are they just waiting for the ride?
- [49:29]
Brady
Humble.
- [49:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he took a good spill.
- [49:31]
Brady
Back to that.
- [49:32]
John Holmberg
This is strange. Hold on a second. We'll get you. Anyway, Girl Flight. It's back.
- [49:37]
Brett Vesely
He's doing blowfish on the way.
- [49:39]
John Holmberg
Everything's back. It's a success. And it's a one giant step for woman, one giant leap for womankind, I suppose. Anyway, back to what I was talking about before. The. The amazing thing. Well, AI is going to take everybody's jobs, and we know that. But I didn't think of this guy's job. When you have like a little kid in a movie and he's trying to describe the guy that stole or killed his mommy or whatever. And then there's the sketch artist and he spins it and it's a perfect drawing of like whoever the baddie is and that, you know, like, wow, this guy's amazing. And this guy went to school for it and he knows how to draw and all that. AI built this dude.
- [50:23]
Brett Vesely
Basil's getting the crowbar.
- [50:24]
John Holmberg
Did you see it? Did you see. Yeah.
- [50:25]
Brady
No, I didn't see this.
- [50:26]
John Holmberg
This is an AI Wanted photo. These are the. This is the future of Wanted. So the. Through the description from the. The person who. The victim AI like, took all that and built this and then just said, what does it need? Okay, it needs a mustache. And his eyes were a little bit different. And they basically built the guy they're looking for. And she's like, that's, like, perfect. Like, you don't need to do to sketch it. Triangular face, you know, none of that stuff. AI made this amazing drawing. And at the bottom, it said, this does not represent a real person. AI generated image. And it's an attempted kidnapping suspect. And they. They just made him. He's exactly that. It's exactly that.
- [51:05]
Brady
She got out.
- [51:06]
Brett Vesely
Katy Perry just kissed.
- [51:07]
John Holmberg
Oh, Katie's out. We have Katy Perry. And she kissed the ground. Amazing. This is like Lilith Fair of space. That would be pretty cool floating around up there. I want to do that so bad. And I don't understand. Like, Brady, you said you didn't want to do this ever. Like, I would love to be up there, even if it is just for 11 minutes. Even though Jon Lovitz's argument was the best I've ever heard, which is, you're already in space. And I'm like, what? You'd go in there? Yeah. He said, you're already in space. Look up. And I'm like, yeah. We kind of take for granted that we are already in space. There's Gayle King. Oprah is going to get it tonight. Thank you, Jesus. Oh, my God. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. Jeff Bezos.
- [52:01]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, no kidding. I want him to see him with that.
- [52:04]
John Holmberg
Oh, that could be. Man, this is a. This is. I'm not understanding this at all. I get it. Okay. That girl's hot. Who's that? Is that the biochemist?
- [52:19]
Brett Vesely
Yeah. I'm not sure.
- [52:21]
John Holmberg
Wow.
- [52:23]
Brady
I saw Sanchez.
- [52:28]
John Holmberg
Here. You did it. Okay. Anyway. Well, that's today's news. That's where everybody's at today. It's kind of a remarkable fastback.
- [52:36]
Brett Vesely
That's a good thing.
- [52:37]
John Holmberg
No, that's a good one. She looks good in that little spacesuit. Is this bad that. That's what we're at now. We're assessing it this way. I wonder how much Scott Haynes says, I wonder how much of a problem it was that they had to wear the same outfit. That's probably. That probably was an argument to go up. Is that what she's wearing? I don't want to wear the same thing she's wearing. Especially that last one.
- [52:59]
Brady
Oh, that makes it easier.
- [53:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah, the last one coming out made that thing look great.
- [53:02]
Brett Vesely
Is there a space kitchen in that pod?
- [53:05]
John Holmberg
See, guys, can't. There we go. If you're gonna make it all girl power. Dudes are naturally gonna make fun of it anyway. I'm kind of impressed, but more so at the technology. I don't even know that I would take credit for having done it. Like, I sat in there, I'd be like, I just was a passenger. I don't. I don't get excited about anything. Like, if I fly from here to. If I take a JSX flight to Vegas, I certainly don't act like I've accomplished anything when I get off the plane. Somebody else did that. I mean, I suppose I do also have to say that at the. I have to bring this part up. I met Joel and John, people at the Suns game, and there was a very great. She was super gracious, very nice to me. She listens to the show. Has for a long time, was so nice. And my friend Joe was with us, and he was. He's a black guy. And there was a moment that was so hilariously painful that she was saying hello to everybody and shaking hands. And Joe put his hand out, and right as she stopped paying attention, so it looked like she was shaking hands with everybody but the black guy. And then I turned and I said, you didn't shake his hand? And she just went back and touched a finger. And I'm like, oh, my God. It's worse than I could have ever imagined. So, John and Joelle, thanks for the amazing night. Also, my friend Jordan inadvertently went through some lady's purse and found some pats of butter. She had stolen some butter. Yeah, it was in her purse. Now, we made fun. Then a later rah rah butter. No different, because the rah rah butters chilled on a plate. This was like pats of butter. So next time we saw there was another lady's purse in front of us, and it was. That actually was Chelsea, the feminist lawyer. And we started laughing like, oh, my God. What if they all keep butter in their purses? We have to know. So it was an accident to find butter. And the first purse may or may not have had an Ozempic pen and butter in it, which is the ultimate dichotomy of purse stuff. And I'm like, maybe she just uses the butter as chapstick. We didn't even see the owner of the purse. We just saw in the purse. She left it near us, and we started laughing hysterically. Then another lady leaves her purse near us, Chelsea. And we started laughing at that because I don't know if that's a real thing or not. Do all women carry Butter and Ozempic, and that's why they have to have that. But if you're stealing pats of butter.
- [55:27]
Brady
It goes down easier.
- [55:30]
John Holmberg
Yeah, Gas. I guess that that helps the Ozempic go down. It's easier to take. Like, I just have a little butter in my belly. This doesn't hurt as well. Who steals pats of butter and puts them in there? That's going to melt. That's going to be nothing but trouble.
- [55:44]
Brett Vesely
That's old people stuff, though.
- [55:45]
John Holmberg
That is old people stuff.
- [55:46]
Brett Vesely
They steal the cloth napkins at nice restaurants and stuff like that. Yeah.
- [55:50]
Brady
But butter is a different.
- [55:52]
John Holmberg
In the little gold wrapper anyway. Evidently that's a thing. So we were joking about that all night long. It's like I. I've never really known what's in there, but an Ozempic pen, some butter. It happens.
- [56:05]
Brett Vesely
Bottles of cholula that they were from breakfast in the morning and stuff like that.
- [56:11]
John Holmberg
Giant phallic. Phallic rocket. And the Kardashians. Yeah. They're just reminded of how many NBA careers they've ruined in Houston. That's true. A couple of Houston Rockets definitely felt the pain of the Kardashian touch. It's a. Yeah. It's just strange. We're ready this week, though, everybody. This is. This is getting big. Oh, another email. I'm a supporter of women sitting there and going up and down. Thank you very much. See, you can't do this. The men will ruin it. It is Easter keg week. We're ready to go for the Easter keg. It's going to happen on Friday morning. Very excited about that because, you know, every year we get to do this. I have found four new hiding spots. I've been going to similar areas and trying to find new spots. I'm going to brand new places. Brett, you got to do the overnight that night. Right. I'll be here to come and do that. So I'm ready to go with this year's deal and I'm hoping. I'm still thinking. Larry's got the best idea I've ever heard and I hope that one works. Well, we've got. We've got some. I'll just throw out a hint, some ride, share possibilities with the kegs. I think it could be fantastic. So I'll get mine out there. I gotta drop mine off with. With Hopkins and he's gonna hide some and so we're ready to go. Five grand for you. For those of you who don't know, I talked to somebody this weekend. They're like, what the hell are you talking about? Easter keg. And that's what that Joelle lady said. I've hunted for Easter kegs. Are you gonna do? I'm like, we're doing it Friday. Somebody said, what's the Easter keg? And I'm like, you know what? Gotta do a better job of letting everybody who doesn't know know. We hide 98 full size empty beer kegs all over the valley on Good Friday. Easter keg hunt, right? You guys find them, you bring them to a party we have over at the Four Peaks tasting room on Friday night. And one of those kegs will be revealed as a $5,000 winner. Somebody's gonna get out of that party Friday, five grand. But you got to find a keg and you'll know it wherever they are in the valley. Search hunt, do all your stuff. We have a party Friday night. It's going to be a great time. Over at the tasting. We got band this year. I believe it's Slash's kid.
- [58:11]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that's what I heard.
- [58:12]
John Holmberg
Yeah. All that stuff's going on. Saul Jr. Saul Jr. Is going to be out there doing his thing. So, yeah, we've got. It's going to be a good party for all the keg finders and a guest. This isn't like a wide open deal. If you found a keg, you're allowed in. And then we have 98 kegs. They're revealed. We'll have some online. Like five or six will be online only for people who can't get out and drive around and hunt. You can do it only at work and stuff. We get it. We got you covered. There'll be some with Brett on Thursday morning at Action Ride shop. Have you decided which one you're going to?
- [58:42]
Brett Vesely
I believe it's the brand new location. So out there on Power Road. McDonald. You got to see this store. It's great.
- [58:46]
John Holmberg
Great store. Get out there. Gonna have the very first keg Thursday morning locked up. And then Brett will give you clues on how to unlock the the lock. And I don't even know how to change that. But we've got that all figured out.
- [58:57]
Brady
I ran into a couple two weeks ago. Like, it's coming up. She's like, I take the day off every year for this thing and more and more people. I can't believe how many people just schedule this day that they.
- [59:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [59:10]
Brady
And they go, it's a blast. And even though. And it was in my area, they're like, wow, came close to a keg last year. And like, oh, that's one I had. I saw the guy walking out with it.
- [59:22]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I am. However many years we've done this in and I have never gotten to hunt. I want to so badly, but I only get to hide them. I never get to hunt them. And that's the bad thing. I want to keep doing that so you guys can get out there and hunt away five grand. So get ready for it. And we, man, it's just Dixon's helping us out this year. They're going to get us some stuff and they're great. So we're very excited. Four Peaks always good to us. It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my homegroup and doughhopkins.com TV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps going, getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online. Doughkins.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins singers. It's John Holberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Twenty years ago, the Core Institute began and it's a better way of caring for people and there are a lot of people who are coping with pain in their bodies every day. The Core Institute specializes in helping the pain disappear. And I speak from experience. Here I am now living pain free and enjoying all the things I absolutely love to do. So if you're living in pain, you don't have to anymore. The Core Institute has been here for 20 years and they're going to be here for a lot longer than that. And you can stop living with pain and start saying yes to all the things you love to do. Go to the core institute.com Fisher Tools.
- [60:58]
Brett Vesely
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- [61:29]
John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness. So we got that together too. So I'm very excited about the Easter cake because I've got two or three spaces. I know that my hiding spots are going to be a little better. I've learned over the years how to make it. I've seen a couple spots and I've been doing that for the last couple weeks, just driving around, looking at areas going, ooh, I'm in mode. I'm in. I'm in the Easter hiding mode. I'm Easter Bunny. So we're going to knock those out and get that together. Maybe get Cam Scatterboo out there to find a couple too, because he was interested in that yesterday. We were talking to him. It was pretty great. So good luck to everybody who's out there doing their thing. The sun season came to a merciful close. That is finally over and done with and we can stop thinking about them. And I hope you all enjoyed Devin Booker's time here. It's time to cut ties, perhaps, and maybe think to yourself, that's enough Devin Booker. We don't have to deal with him ever again. He's going to go win a championship somewhere else. What Dale Hellistray said here Thursday, I think holds true. It's time for us to start to being out loud about the Suns maybe being similar to the Cleveland Browns as far as being a franchise. Ouch. But you start getting into that. Never had a championship thing. They're more competitive than the Browns on a regular basis. But when it doesn't amount to anything big, does it count? You know, do you want a team with no trophies to just be good every year and never really grab the the ultimate prize? Or would you rather have them suffer in turmoil and rebuild some other way? Because right now that's what they've got to do. So say goodbye to Devin Booker. He's thank you, Devin. Appreciate it. Enjoy. Wherever it is you end up, they've gotta go. And hopefully today or tomorrow or sometime very soon, you'll. You'll hear the words. Everyone is gone. The Suns have fired every single human being on their on their roster, on their coaching staff and everything else. Everyone's gone. It's the only way this whole operation works. It is the only operation.
- [63:41]
Brady
Rebuild.
- [63:42]
John Holmberg
No, it's Operation Start Over. They can rebuild it in a day. They can do it in a second because they've got the money, man. But. But you got to be smart about it. So Devin Booker's got to go and hopefully they're peeling his face right off of whatever that arena is called now, PHX arena. And it is no longer a thing that's it all done. And then yesterday, of course, the Masters, which is inevitably entertaining at the end every single year. And the most beautiful thing I watch on a screen, that course is just stunning and Rory McElroy.
- [64:16]
Brady
It was fun all the way.
- [64:17]
John Holmberg
I mean, well, I can't watch that much golf. It's.
- [64:20]
Brady
It was quick. It felt like.
- [64:21]
John Holmberg
But no, you were watching the whale and golf direction.
- [64:25]
Brady
Yeah, that was a breath of fresh air.
- [64:28]
John Holmberg
That's a weekend, man. That's something that kind of turns on you a little bit. I watch the whale and then I'm going to sit and watch golf. Rush. Nothing makes me feel lazier than watching golf. It's such a bowling. If I ever watched bowling, I think it would be like the only thing that could possibly be a lazier time. If you're in a. Like when we were in to watch the ending and at the. At the country club that Doug had and we sat there and watched the end of the Masters, it felt like there was energy, like we weren't just sitting on our couch, man, watching golf at home.
- [64:58]
Brady
It was like that, though, because it came down, you know, that it was. It was fun. That was a.
- [65:04]
John Holmberg
The ending. But if I sat for one better.
- [65:07]
Brady
Masters than it was in the last.
- [65:09]
John Holmberg
If I sat from 1 o' clock in the afternoon till 4 watching other guys golf, I'd have felt, I can't do it. I wish I could. I can sit and piece parts together. I got to get up and move because it makes you feel.
- [65:20]
Brady
I mean, I did some things right. You know, I grilled some burgers.
- [65:25]
John Holmberg
Yeah. You had to get up and make some sustenance. You were wearing yourself out watching.
- [65:29]
Brady
Go to a friend's place, watch some.
- [65:32]
John Holmberg
More golf and ate there.
- [65:33]
Brady
And that's where did the grilling. Yeah.
- [65:36]
John Holmberg
You grill at your friend's house?
- [65:38]
Brady
Yeah, I did.
- [65:39]
John Holmberg
You touched another man's grill.
- [65:41]
Brady
I got permission. He asked me.
- [65:44]
John Holmberg
That's basically swinging.
- [65:45]
Brett Vesely
That's what I'm.
- [65:46]
John Holmberg
Brady's community. He wants you to touch the grill, or do you just take it over?
- [65:50]
Brady
He did.
- [65:51]
John Holmberg
He says you do it?
- [65:52]
Brady
Yeah.
- [65:53]
John Holmberg
Are you sure?
- [65:54]
Brady
Yeah.
- [65:54]
John Holmberg
Or have you been so kind of next to him, he's like, why don't you just do it? Is it more, Gosh, I'm so glad you're doing this. Or is it more like it? You know what? If you're just going to stand next to me the whole time you do it?
- [66:04]
Brady
No, he said we were both out there.
- [66:07]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
- [66:08]
Brady
It was a joint effort It's.
- [66:11]
John Holmberg
No man's grill is a joint effort. Oh, this is. I'm getting upset for him.
- [66:14]
Brady
Look, I know. I know the rules. It was not.
- [66:18]
John Holmberg
Are you sure?
- [66:18]
Brady
Yes.
- [66:19]
John Holmberg
You didn't even say it.
- [66:20]
Brady
This was a sanctioned grilling.
- [66:23]
John Holmberg
That's a slippery slope, my friend. That's like saying, you want to touch her? Go ahead. That's your wife. Go ahead, put your hands here. Oh, those are her boobies. I can't touch another man's wife. That's not right.
- [66:38]
Brady
He prepped her real nice.
- [66:40]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And you stood two of you.
- [66:43]
Brady
Yeah.
- [66:44]
John Holmberg
I think you might have just annoyed him into let him have a spatula. Why would he need you there?
- [66:52]
Brady
He wanted me there.
- [66:54]
John Holmberg
See, I gotta get. We're gonna have some questions for the other guy. No man lets another man touch his grill. That's my grill. You stand by. That's the whole progressive commercial. Yeah, well, they got. Oh, you gotta flip that. You gotta. We're gonna turn. Oh, you're burning those.
- [67:08]
Brett Vesely
Do you hand over the spatula to Laser when he comes over?
- [67:11]
John Holmberg
That's right. Brady, would you do that?
- [67:12]
Brady
Never grip.
- [67:13]
John Holmberg
Well, would you do that?
- [67:15]
Brett Vesely
Or Kenny?
- [67:15]
John Holmberg
Anyone?
- [67:16]
Brady
Yeah. Yeah, I would.
- [67:17]
John Holmberg
You would let someone else start grilling?
- [67:19]
Brady
I would. I know. I don't know about Laser. I don't think he grills a ton.
- [67:26]
John Holmberg
I don't think Danny knows what he's doing. I don't think you would let that go now if you walked away, said, hey, keep an eye on this for a second.
- [67:33]
Brett Vesely
That's something else. You gotta go get a beer.
- [67:34]
John Holmberg
That's something else. You know, but you should be telling the neighbor, go get me a beer.
- [67:38]
Brett Vesely
Right.
- [67:39]
John Holmberg
Oof. This is dangerous territory, my friend. This is. I've seen this fear thy neighbor episode, and it usually ends poorly.
- [67:48]
Brady
I might get a letter, maybe.
- [67:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. Something that says, you're a pile of garbage.
- [67:52]
Brady
Yeah.
- [67:54]
John Holmberg
You deeply regret everything. You pile of garbage. You touch my grill. Those kind of letters fly around pretty often. That could be. Who knows? Well, you made it a chill go.
- [68:07]
Brady
It seemed to be all.
- [68:08]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I think because you were so hyper focused on the food and the grilling that you felt at home, but you weren't at home, man. That's. I don't even get close to a dude grilling. No, that's a sanctuary. You don't stand by grilling.
- [68:25]
Brady
A couple of the kids over there that were.
- [68:27]
Brett Vesely
Well, they don't count.
- [68:28]
John Holmberg
Kids told you to grill and you did it.
- [68:31]
Brady
I would have smash burgers, but. But I. You know.
- [68:38]
John Holmberg
I'm not Getting a lot of confidence out of you being in charge of that girl. I think you took it over at another man's house.
- [68:44]
Brady
Good burgers.
- [68:45]
John Holmberg
I'm not doubting that the food in the end was quality, Brady. I'm saying that you're. You're not supposed to do that. And you know better than anybody. No, it's your girl. Even if the guy tells you, you take over. Don't touch another man's grill.
- [69:00]
Brady
Well, maybe I'll hear about it.
- [69:01]
John Holmberg
Did you bring an apron?
- [69:03]
Brady
No.
- [69:03]
John Holmberg
No. Were you provided an apron?
- [69:06]
Brady
No.
- [69:06]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [69:07]
Brett Vesely
He's a pro. He doesn't need an apron.
- [69:09]
John Holmberg
Apron. Amateur. Slopping around on himself like some sort of a weirdo. I'm worried about this. Was this Billy's house?
- [69:18]
Brady
Yeah.
- [69:21]
John Holmberg
I don't like it. Billy's a man. I don't like it at all. I like Billy. He's a man.
- [69:25]
Brady
It's cool, bro.
- [69:27]
John Holmberg
Normally, Billy normally would grill.
- [69:29]
Brady
Does what?
- [69:29]
Brett Vesely
Does Billy normally grill?
- [69:33]
Brady
No, I've done it before.
- [69:34]
John Holmberg
We've taken over.
- [69:35]
Brett Vesely
So you're calling him an amateur, basically.
- [69:38]
Brady
No, no, he was fine with it. He's like. Because he had other things he's hosted. You know, he had. He had golf to watch. We had a TV out there.
- [69:47]
Brett Vesely
Well, then he should have been growing up.
- [69:50]
Brady
You are making me think that you've overdone it. I don't have to ask him.
- [69:55]
John Holmberg
You don't overstep. You don't ask. You apologize.
- [69:58]
Brady
I apologize.
- [70:00]
John Holmberg
I'm sorry.
- [70:00]
Brady
I realized that I stepped in there.
- [70:02]
John Holmberg
Because deep down, you know how you'd feel if I came over and I went to Brady's this week and took the grill for a little while. No, no, that's mine.
- [70:09]
Brady
I'd let you take the girl.
- [70:10]
John Holmberg
You would. But then if I started telling everybody, it's because Brady wanted me to. Makes you feel like less than a man. Like, you're impotent. You're grill impotent. You have erectile grill.
- [70:18]
Brady
We're confident enough.
- [70:21]
John Holmberg
Youl need a little.
- [70:22]
Brady
Not a big deal.
- [70:23]
Brett Vesely
Apparently not, because you had to take it over.
- [70:25]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's.
- [70:26]
Brady
I mean, if you came over and said, okay, go ahead.
- [70:30]
John Holmberg
What man would say such a thing? Do you need me to do the girl?
- [70:33]
Brady
Handful of people. That.
- [70:35]
John Holmberg
That's an insult to the homeowner, to wandering and go, do you need me to start grilling for you? Because what you're doing ain't working out for anybody. It's. It's basically saying, I see you as inept. Let me handle this. You choke down his dry burgers and you say, never again.
- [70:48]
Brady
Yeah.
- [70:48]
Brett Vesely
Step aside, chief.
- [70:49]
John Holmberg
Yeah. My goodness. That is a. Could you imagine?
- [70:55]
Brady
Now? His wife did the chicken.
- [70:57]
John Holmberg
I was just gonna say, no, I.
- [70:58]
Brady
Don'T think she grilled.
- [70:59]
John Holmberg
If Ronnie goes in there and elbows her out of the way and starts cooking, you're gonna have a fist fight, woman. A woman will not allow that. We got.
- [71:08]
Brady
We get that.
- [71:09]
John Holmberg
Yeah. That's a woman's kitchen.
- [71:11]
Brady
There's no ass.
- [71:15]
John Holmberg
You just go to Billy and just go. You know what I realized? I kind of took your grill over. That's against the rules.
- [71:20]
Brady
Step aside, meat.
- [71:21]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's.
- [71:21]
Brady
That's this thing done.
- [71:22]
John Holmberg
The kids asking you to grill is basically an insult to the owner of the grill. Why don't you do it? You're supposed to say, cause it's not my grill. But you're like, all right, Billy doesn't know how to do that.
- [71:33]
Brady
I'll do it.
- [71:34]
John Holmberg
That's bad. You just need to apologize. Text Billy right now.
- [71:37]
Brady
I will.
- [71:38]
John Holmberg
You know what? I'm very sorry. I didn't realize I had manhandled your grill so much yesterday. Jesus. Go to Brett's house and say, why don't you get out of the way here? Let me pour some ragu on this?
- [71:50]
Brett Vesely
Stab my goddamn neck for that.
- [71:52]
John Holmberg
But if you came to my house and I was making an Italian meal, you just have to choke down what I'm making.
- [71:57]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, yeah.
- [71:58]
John Holmberg
You're a guest. You'll go to a restaurant. Go. I'm better than the chef. And wander in there. Oh, Brady. And I don't think you. I think as we talked about this, I watched it wash over you that you realized, oh, boy. I think I may have stepped in this. I think I may have just been standing next to the grill until Billy said, do you just want to do this or what? Get off my back. One rule about grilling is don't be the dude just standing next to the grill while you make people feel like you're in North Korea. Everything's being observed and judged and miserable. Man buys grill by himself, and you.
- [72:34]
Brett Vesely
Get the man a beer when he needs.
- [72:36]
John Holmberg
Maybe as a. What do you need? You need. You need me to grab you some beer, Mustard, or whatever it is the hell you're doing here? You walked up with a spatula about done here. Is this murder almost over? Because I can't watch another second of it. You're texting him right now?
- [72:56]
Brady
Yeah.
- [72:57]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Good. You've made a good choice there. You've done the right thing.
- [72:59]
Brett Vesely
Sorry I Raped your grill.
- [73:01]
Brady
I'm sorry if I overstepped the grilling duties yesterday.
- [73:05]
John Holmberg
I like that. No, delete it all. I'm sorry I raped your grill. That's right. That's what you. I'm sorry I raped your grill yesterday. I was out of line. I don't know what I was thinking. The smells were so intoxicating, I just threw elbows and took over. And it's not mine to do that, too. I apologize for the grill rape. You're more than capable griller. Yeah, he had grill dysfunction. He had erectile grill dysfunction. And Brady went in there and tried to. Oh, my goodness. Anyway, that took an ugly turn, man. Brett, what do you have in the big board of musical treats while Brady does his mea culpa on the text.
- [73:40]
Brett Vesely
All right, wake up. So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop. You guys know all about Action Ride Shop. The best place to get your bikes serviced, rentals, and of course, buying bikes from Pivot, Santa Cruz, Rocky Mountain. You name it, they got it. Or they will get it. And don't forget this Thursday, brand new location. I will have keg number one out there at the brand new location again at power Road and McDowell right there by the Haas trailhead. So if you get an early morning ride in, cruise over there.
- [74:07]
John Holmberg
Jesus Christ, John. Grilling at another man's house. Did Brady cream pie his wife right after? It's the same damn thing. Might as well. Great. Now that dude's backyard is gonna go out of business.
- [74:23]
Brady
It is getting redone.
- [74:26]
John Holmberg
Man, oh, man. When you said that Brady kind of took his grill over at his friend's house, I had an image of Brady and his friend Eiffel towering over the fire.
- [74:35]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that's right.
- [74:36]
John Holmberg
That's kind of sexy. That's kind of.
- [74:38]
Brett Vesely
That's hot barbecue. Brady cucking the grill.
- [74:41]
John Holmberg
Great. Yeah. I think you got into a blind fury around the. The fired meats, and you don't realize that you. You elbowed the owner out of the.
- [74:53]
Brady
Feel like you're helping out.
- [74:54]
John Holmberg
Yeah, but you're not. It's another man's grill.
- [74:56]
Brady
That's. It's a good point.
- [75:00]
John Holmberg
Most of the time, the guy just goes, I got it. Go enjoy yourself. No, I can't enjoy myself while I watch you ruin all this. Quality meat says, don't bust Brady's balls. When you're a good cook, people tend to ask you to do it. I smoke barbecue. I've competed. I'm good in the kitchen. So whenever there's a party, I get asked to do the cooking. Usually that's before the party. At the party, the guy doesn't rely on you to cook because if you say no, he's screwed. There's a difference. A lot of you, Doug, you're probably like Brady Doug Elliot that you'll stand by the grill and the guy knows you know what you're doing and eventually he just hangs his head in disgrace and says, you just take over. You were gonna do it anyway.
- [75:45]
Brady
I said, I'm sorry if I've overstepped the grilling duties yesterday. I'm sorry I raped your grill.
- [75:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's very nice.
- [75:51]
Brady
He responded, not at all. Worked out perfectly. My grill was asking for it anyway.
- [75:55]
John Holmberg
That's right. The grill is a little bit of a slut. You brought Brady over to the party. It's like having Ron Jeremy over and saying, it's not a sex party. He's gonna stick it in something.
- [76:05]
Brett Vesely
Brady's the blacked.com of grills.
- [76:08]
John Holmberg
Yeah. When that guy shows up swinging, great. Black dot com. Brady's here again. It's blackandhotdog.com and you know, you hang around long enough now, I know you're good at it. But if I invited you over to the house and stuff and I said I'll take care of this, this, that's my time to shine. Yeah. If I ask you before, hey, Brady, I'm going to need your help on that girl. Cuz I'm not very good at it. Totally different story. But if you just show up, start hanging around the grill, I'm like, well.
- [76:40]
Brady
You know, I can't help it.
- [76:42]
John Holmberg
I know.
- [76:43]
Brady
I mean, got a nice grill. I'm going to hang around it.
- [76:46]
John Holmberg
You know, if I had a backyard flag football party, right? I got a backyard flag football party. All of us are having a good time and I'm all time quarterback because it's my house, all time qb. And I got Ben Roethlisberger at the party and he's just standing next to me at quarterback going, mmm, oh, oh. I'd have thrown it over there. Just take the ball. I know you're better at it than me. Passive aggressive grilling. There are rules. And to Doug Elliott, who is defending you, I agree. But when you're really good at the barbecue, like Brett said, you can't come in all blacked.com swinging your dick around with your utensils hanging off your belt going, who's doing the grilling, Billy?
- [77:29]
Brady
I did have my utility belt.
- [77:31]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I bet you probably had instead of one of those like change Makers on your way. You just got like a Lowry's seasoned salt, a bunch of salts and spices on the side.
- [77:41]
Brady
Ooh, Vandolero. There's bunches Jalapeno rub.
- [77:45]
John Holmberg
Let me pop that out. The rubber that's in Montreal.
- [77:48]
Brett Vesely
State.
- [77:51]
John Holmberg
Just don't touch it unless he asks you. Yeah, that's what everybody says, but you know, Brady's hovering over that guy. Yeah, flip that. Don't. You gotta flip that. You're done. You gotta flip that.
- [78:01]
Brett Vesely
Billy's probably like, Jesus Christ.
- [78:02]
John Holmberg
Here, just take it. I'll go do something else. You gotta flip that. I'll do it.
- [78:06]
Brady
Billy asked.
- [78:08]
John Holmberg
Kids are gonna get good food now. But anyway, what are you gonna do? Let's get up there on the list.
- [78:14]
Brett Vesely
You got Shine Down, Avenge Sevenfold, Fozzie, Ted Nugent. Stranglehold for Pigs in Space, apparently.
- [78:21]
John Holmberg
No, no, that's what he said.
- [78:24]
Brett Vesely
Deep Purple Smoke on the Water. Richie Blackmore turns 80 today.
- [78:28]
John Holmberg
What?
- [78:28]
Brett Vesely
Yeah. The warning. Mud Vein Monster Magnus, Space Lord, Space.
- [78:33]
John Holmberg
Trucking from Girl Accomplishment this morning on the Space travel. So let's go with the warning. An all girl band who I love. All right. Wonderful.
- [78:46]
Brady
Pete Rose would have been 84 today, man.
- [78:48]
John Holmberg
Well, that's painfully old. Wow. Anyway, yeah, the girl. The girl power flight this morning went off. Good for that. I still don't get it. I'm getting all my email updates and texts and stories and news and stuff. Good on you. I did get an email from a guy that said I was a sketch artist. He goes, you're right, AI, we had to relearn the entire thing. And he started to send me these pictures of other AIs that have worked out. I didn't even think of that. What AI won't do. Like, they can make the guy walk around and talk. You couldn't do that with those stupid sketches. I remember it was a big deal when John List. Look it up. John List got caught on America's Most Wanted through a dude who made. And they thought the technology was incredible. They took a picture of him. They knew who they were looking for. And then 30 years later, they had a guy say, what's he gonna look like? And they made this paper mache head and it was perfect. Like, this is what he'd look like 30 years later. And they found him. Right down to the big giant glasses that he was wearing. Because the guy was so good at what he did. He's like, look, 30 years ago, he killed people. He got away with it. Deep down his psyche, he's gonna want to hide so if he's gonna need glasses, they're gonna be big. And he put these giant Harry Carey glasses on the guy. When they arrested him, he was wearing those glasses like he knew him. And I thought that was remarkable. Now AI could just build the dude, make him walk around. Does this look like the guy that beat you up? Like, yup, perfect.
- [80:16]
Brady
I think he saw the glasses on the rendering. The dude was like, I like those glasses. He bought a pair after the shot.
- [80:23]
John Holmberg
I think he saw after the America's Most Wanted about him.
- [80:26]
Brady
Yes.
- [80:26]
John Holmberg
He thought, wow, I should start wearing.
- [80:28]
Brady
Those glasses are cool.
- [80:29]
John Holmberg
I should look more like the severed head they're looking for. Sure enough, when they. When they caught John List, that's what put America's Most Wanted on the map. They caught this dude who killed his family like 20 something years earlier. And he moved into some small town and became a pastor and got a new family and some lady on TV watching America's Most Wanted and said, that's the pastor. That's our guy. Sure enough, there he was. But now AI just builds a dude and then the victim can go, nah, his eyes were a little bit more like this. And it built a perfect guy anyway. You're not going to get away with anything. And by the way, it's also going to turn into a thing where the AI drawing of the bad guy they're looking for will go into some Facebook or Instagram database and comp photos. Say, here's 20 guys in the area that look just like him. Let's. Let's start knocking on doors. I think I've seen this dude.
- [81:28]
Brady
It does take it to the next level.
- [81:30]
John Holmberg
It's a person, it's a picture. It's amazing.
- [81:32]
Brady
Like there's.
- [81:34]
John Holmberg
But with facial recognition software and AI looking, they'll just go on Instagram and find him. Don't have an answer. Cancel your Instagram now. Anyway, what am I talking about? It's Girl Day. They're in space again. They're not the first ones. They're not the last ones. They weren't flying the thing. It's Girl Space Passenger Accomplishment Day. And I am proud of them. Maybe the warning went up with it. We don't even know who was up there. This is a good band right here. The song's called More All Girl Band On all girl Monday, it's 98 KUPD. Go get them. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world. CMC is hiring immediately at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. Open positions include electrical engineers, automation specialists, industrial electricians and industrial mechanics. Join the next generation of steel makers and help keep our electrical operators and machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity employer. It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness and It's time to talk about Turf Monsters. The people who are resurrecting my backyard. Turf is the way to go. No more dirt and mud tracked all over my house by my dogs. The turf is pet safe, easy to clean and it's amazing. And they don't stop there. I got a basketball court going in my backyard and a putting green. They found an amazing place for this design. Turf Monsters AZ is where you need to go to renovate your backyard space. Use Holmberg and get 10% off the whole deal. How about that? Turfmonstersaz.com Craving your next action packed adventure, Audible delivers thrills of every kind on your command. Like Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir where a lone astronaut must save humanity from extinction. Narrated with stunning intensity by Ray Porter from electrifying suspense and daring quests to spine tingling horror and romance and far off realms, unleash your adventure aside with gripping titles that'll keep you guessing. Discovery Exclusive Audible Originals, hotly anticipated new releases and must listen bestsellers that hook you from the first minute. Because Audible knows there's no greater thrill than the one that speaks to you. Discover what lies beyond the edge of your seat. Start your free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery us that's audible.com wondery us still streaming Homburg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com this is gonna be a good week too. It's supposed to be like in the 70s and stuff. You know, that's another thing about the Easter keg. We've never had like a miserable day for it. I had a little drizzle one year, but nothing like rainy, nasty and gross. I don't think that's supposed to happen this week, but that would be a fun little twist. The weather got in the way because Friday right now it's supposed to be 76 and perfect, which is that is good keg hunting weather. We never miss. So keeping that together. But it has been perfect. Like yesterday was absolutely great. Today's gonna do it again. It's time for you to find out all the things that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady report. It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade Concepts, Arizona's best patio shades. If you want to start thinking about the heat, we don't need shade today, but oh, imagine if your backyard could be like this without clouds. Oh, it'd be fantastic. Call All Pro Shade Concepts right now. Make that outdoor living space a little bit more habitable so you can get out there and hang out even in some higher temperatures. When that shade drops that temperature down a few degrees because you thought forward for summer, we're gonna have sun, you're gonna need shade. All Pro Shade Concepts isAllPro shade.com Brady reported.
- [85:31]
Brady
Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.
- [85:33]
John Holmberg
Hi.
- [85:33]
Brady
Happy National Ex Spouses Day.
- [85:37]
John Holmberg
Oh, to your ex spouse. Yeah, we're supposed to do.
- [85:44]
Brett Vesely
Themselves.
- [85:45]
John Holmberg
You call them and tell them about themselves. Hey, remember me? Yeah. Happy Ex Spouse Day. Go stuff. I want my money back.
- [85:52]
Brett Vesely
What's the problem?
- [85:53]
Brady
Hope life's miserable.
- [85:55]
John Holmberg
How's my. How's the unearned half you've been spending doing? Oh, still fat. Dang. I told you you'd have to lose weight to find another guy. There it is.
- [86:12]
Brady
Couple of basis fun facts.
- [86:14]
John Holmberg
Hey, evidently it wasn't me. You. You used to accuse me of ejaculating Crisco and that's why. But no, turns out everybody since you stayed thin. What happened? I got you a whole bunch of new sweatpants. You can qu. Oh, Brett's mean Italian Ex Spouse Day. I'd like you to hire Brett to call your ex spouse today and say so.
- [86:38]
Brady
So and so wanted me to call.
- [86:40]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Your hair still look like a bird's nest Almost every day. Wondering why you're alone. Huh?
- [86:49]
Brady
Give me three things that you could never say to her.
- [86:54]
John Holmberg
Are you finally off your period? It seemed like that was going on an awful lot.
- [87:01]
Brady
For the original Nintendo to be compatible with European TVs, they had to. There had to be a special version of the games that ran 17% slower. They were actually much easier as a result.
- [87:14]
John Holmberg
Oh.
- [87:18]
Brady
The day after Osama bin Laden's death, Disney tried to trademark the name Seal Team 6. But it was rejected because they knew.
- [87:29]
John Holmberg
That was May 2nd. If I'm recalling correctly. 2010.
- [87:35]
Brady
No, no.
- [87:37]
John Holmberg
Maybe. Maybe 11.
- [87:39]
Brady
The real reason Chuck E. Cheese loves celebrating birthdays. According to a book on his origin story, he's an orphan who didn't know his own birthday. So he loved other kids parties.
- [87:53]
John Holmberg
That's a. That is a. Flip that around to just a regular guy and suddenly that's a child stalker. Charles Cheese.
- [88:03]
Brady
Different for A mouse never knew his.
- [88:05]
John Holmberg
Own birthday, but he knows yours. What's your name? Kevin. Let's celebrate Kevin's birthday. Something's wrong with the mouse. Nothing's wrong with the mouse. Get in the mouse's pants. This giant rat wants me to get into his overalls. If you tell your parents what's happening, the same thing that happened to mine will happen to yours.
- [88:41]
Brady
The pizza's bad.
- [88:42]
John Holmberg
Eat it. Choke down the cardboard cheese, kid.
- [88:48]
Brady
Tax days tomorrow. They did a poll on Friday. Found that two thirds of Americans have already filed. Everyone else has their calculators out. 16% are still working on them. Another 9% haven't even started.
- [89:05]
John Holmberg
You know what's nuts? Last year I got a refund, right? I still haven't gotten that check.
- [89:10]
Brett Vesely
Are you serious?
- [89:10]
John Holmberg
Yeah, because they're like, we want to assess it and make sure it's right. I'm like, cool. I'm pretty confident it is. There might be an adjustment here and there, but even if it is wrong, it's not going to go crazy. I'll stick it. Still haven't gotten back I owed this year. Within 18 hours of me filing, they've got the money, right? They didn't sit back and think to themselves, well, let's just make sure it's right.
- [89:32]
Brady
Yeah.
- [89:32]
John Holmberg
Oh, you think you owe? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I owe. Okay. Sucked it out. Within 18 hours of click filed. Both state and federal are out of my accounts. I mean, same day. And they're not assessing any of my math on this one. They're not going through Steve's work and saying, now your CPA bungled this. We owe you some cash. But man, oh, man, I get a couple bucks back last year and it's like a year later, we're not so sure we like this.
- [89:59]
Brady
And your money, if you got that to them a year later, imagine how.
- [90:03]
John Holmberg
Much that would cost if I told them, look, you'll get it eventually. I just have to assess to see if you guys are doing this right. They relied on me to do all the math when it came out in my favor. We're going to take a look at this. Comes out in their favor. Didn't even take 24 hours. My paycheck doesn't. I get on ADP on Wednesday. It says it's a coming, but it can't just cash in. You know the amount, you know what's going to be there, you know, oh, we better not do it.
- [90:30]
Brett Vesely
Are they checking on your party planning company and your painting company?
- [90:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, my stolen identity companies. No, Those aren't part of it this year, but. But they're keeping an eye on the. I don't remember a couple. Couple grand. Can't really fire that. Back to you. I'm being dosed.
- [90:49]
Brady
Five years ago, in the middle of the COVID lockdowns and quarantines, most Americans didn't know when they'd returned to the office. There's many as many companies made everything online and remote. And a recent poll shows 70% of employed Americans said they work full time. 17% work part time. 13% are self employed. Says men are more likely to work full time than women. At 76% to 64% praise.
- [91:23]
John Holmberg
Just throwing out stats. Ladies don't make phone calls or letters. That's not him.
- [91:26]
Brady
That's just basically saying 57% of Americans work full time in office, 24% still almost exclusively from home, and 18% do the hybrid thing.
- [91:41]
John Holmberg
They do both.
- [91:42]
Brady
Yeah. Some days in the office, some days.
- [91:48]
John Holmberg
Sleeping at home, pretending to work, working hard. There's no way. There's no way you can tell me. I love talking to the girls downstairs like, well, I work at home on this day. Again, you don't work though, dude, you. I work harder at home than I do here. No, you don't. No, you don't. That's impossible. No one can possibly do that. You, you flip out. You watch a. An episode of Black Mirror and you're like, jesus, I just wasted two hours. It's inevitable. It's human nature. It's not men, women. It's just if you're at home and you've creature comforts, a Real Housewives marathon, what, you're proud of yourself when you get something done. Oh, man, if there's a. I'd watch that. I'm gonna miss the whole day.
- [92:29]
Brady
Over the weekend, this dude in Springfield, Missouri, Dale Hammett, he slammed his 2012 Dodge Ram into a come and go. Caused around $37,000 worth of damage. But after the truck slammed in there, got out of the truck and took off running, police caught up with him after me. You know what happened? He said, well, my crocs got caught in the pedal, the gas pedal.
- [92:55]
John Holmberg
You deserve it.
- [92:56]
Brady
And I slammed into the kill and go and I freaked out. So that's why I ran.
- [93:04]
John Holmberg
Also why you got caught, because you were running in Crocs. You're not getting away from wearing cross. You're not getting away from anyone in a running race in Crocs.
- [93:13]
Brady
He's looking at a felony anyway.
- [93:15]
John Holmberg
Sure.
- [93:17]
Brett Vesely
It's like those er Doctors and they should be running to the er, but they're wearing Crocs.
- [93:21]
John Holmberg
They can't run.
- [93:22]
Brett Vesely
Put some Jordans on and get over there.
- [93:24]
John Holmberg
Give me some Jordan.
- [93:25]
Dick Toledo
Never understood that.
- [93:26]
John Holmberg
You put the booties on. So if there's blood splatter, they're covered. Yeah. Give me a nice pair of Travis Scott. Right? Get me some. Some ones or a nice pair of. Yeah, I want to see you moving. Even the books, they're very comfortable. Go get some Devin Bookers. When he plays for his next team, the colors will be different.
- [93:48]
Brady
This happened in Florida. This dude, 45 years old, Eddie Cocaine. He rolled into a subway, got upset with someone at the store, got really irate and started to beat on the dude. Cops came in, arrested him. Eddie Cocaine's been his real name. That's his real name?
- [94:07]
John Holmberg
As far as we know.
- [94:08]
Brady
Yeah.
- [94:08]
John Holmberg
Eddie Cocaine.
- [94:09]
Brady
Edward Cocaine.
- [94:10]
Dick Toledo
Spelled correctly. Not like K O, K a. Yeah.
- [94:14]
Brady
No, it's spelled just like.
- [94:15]
John Holmberg
Like the drug.
- [94:16]
Brady
Okay.
- [94:17]
John Holmberg
No kidding. Eddie Cocaine, your lot in life is sealed at birth.
- [94:24]
Brady
What's Eddie look like?
- [94:26]
John Holmberg
Eddie Cocaine is white. Oh, he's a black guy. You think he's black? I think he's white. Eddie Cocaine's white. It's Florida white.
- [94:33]
Brett Vesely
I think a white guy would change his name.
- [94:35]
John Holmberg
I'd say short buzz cut hair, maybe balding a little bit. Eddie Cocaine has a tattoo on his neck. I'm throwing that out.
- [94:41]
Brett Vesely
He's an aspiring rapper, short hair, not bald.
- [94:44]
John Holmberg
Who wins? Exactly as I described. I didn't give him a weight thing.
- [94:50]
Dick Toledo
Is that John Vella?
- [94:51]
John Holmberg
It is our own John Bella. Eddie Cocaine Man. I could have. It's just based on his name. I could have had him drawn and caught.
- [95:04]
Brett Vesely
Originally hails from Payson, Arizona, and he's from Florida.
- [95:08]
John Holmberg
It's Brevard county and this is the Cocaine family in Florida. That's a very confusing day for everyone. It's over by the Cocaine family. You're gonna have to be more specific. They're all the Cocaine family. Sure enough, Eddie Cocaine. What a Edward. And it's. He had to change that. Nobody's like, Cocaine is.
- [95:29]
Brady
I agree.
- [95:29]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, that's what I was going with. An aspiring rapper, I'm like, okay, that makes sense.
- [95:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [95:36]
Brady
Four people in Louisiana have been arrested after they rode their horses through a Walmart last week. It's definitely was a stunt, but, you know, to get viral. Oh, film it going through there. One of the four men, Mason Webb, told the local news. He goes, I mean, it was fun. And we were famous for a minute because when that went viral. We didn't hurt anybody. He also joked that the animals were emotional support horses.
- [96:07]
John Holmberg
Perfect.
- [96:08]
Brady
It shows him all four walking through the.
- [96:12]
John Holmberg
It's like, yeah, well behaved the guy last week or whenever that had the seven tigers for emotional support taken from him.
- [96:18]
Brady
Yeah.
- [96:19]
John Holmberg
You're like, how do you. Yeah. Seven of them. How do you keep. I mean, how do you like one?
- [96:25]
Brady
And his argument was, hey, people have all sorts of exotic for support.
- [96:29]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Like, why wasn't the first one cutting it? You needed a second emotional support tiger. And then that one wasn't cutting it, so you added a third. It's like, geez, I need more of these tigers.
- [96:39]
Brady
The other thing is, they had to get over there pretty quick because you're taking them away from me. They knew I'm opening the gates.
- [96:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Just gonna let him go.
- [96:48]
Brady
He threatened to free him.
- [96:50]
John Holmberg
Right. To go be emotionally supportive elsewhere.
- [96:55]
Dick Toledo
Oh, they'll spark some emotions.
- [96:56]
John Holmberg
But again, one should do it. If you've jumped up to 7, I'm not so sure you're emotionally supported at all. You just keep searching for one that's gonna work.
- [97:08]
Brady
Scientists from Finland and the United States have developed a special type of chewing gum that can trap and neutralize some influenza and herpes viruses.
- [97:20]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's not going to give us all cancer. Wait, it gives. It takes your herpes away?
- [97:24]
Brady
Yes. They've designed.
- [97:27]
John Holmberg
Do I have to chew it in my mouth?
- [97:29]
Brady
Yeah.
- [97:29]
John Holmberg
Oh, just go stuff it in. Some girl. Let's go here. Let's get rid of these bumps and start smashing the lips together. It's like an old man eating the viral.
- [97:39]
Brady
Says 95 for flu. While the herpes causing viruses, the HSV1 and HSV2, 160mg is enough to be required to help basically keep the herpes.
- [97:56]
John Holmberg
It staves off like sores.
- [97:58]
Brady
Yeah.
- [97:59]
John Holmberg
So it keeps you from having an outbreak.
- [98:01]
Brady
Yeah.
- [98:02]
John Holmberg
It doesn't cure herpes. Well. Oh boy, here comes some guessing.
- [98:09]
Brett Vesely
Ceiling tiles.
- [98:10]
John Holmberg
Here we go.
- [98:12]
Brady
It. It curtails it, basically. It does not heal it.
- [98:16]
John Holmberg
It does not cure it.
- [98:17]
Brady
Yeah. And if you have it can prevent it though.
- [98:19]
John Holmberg
It can prevent an outbreak. Right, but can it prevent it if I don't have it? Don't say that. It's not a vaccine. No, no. So it can't prevent herpes.
- [98:31]
Brady
Right.
- [98:31]
John Holmberg
It just keeps you from having outbreaks. Maybe. What flavor is it?
- [98:37]
Brady
I think they'll have a multiple flavors, but you can buy the pack and you can store it at room temperature for 800 days.
- [98:49]
John Holmberg
That was the plan all Those flavors they have. Here we go.
- [98:57]
Brady
Fruity tootie.
- [98:58]
John Holmberg
You're making it up.
- [98:59]
Brady
I'm making it up?
- [99:04]
Dick Toledo
You just like saying tooty.
- [99:09]
John Holmberg
The newest sport, fruity tootie, is how you end up with herpes. Most of the time acting like a fruity tootie.
- [99:15]
Brady
A startup company in LA says it's launching the first sperm racing league. They're live streaming the first event on April 25th.
- [99:26]
John Holmberg
I'm gonna watch this from the Hollywood.
- [99:28]
Brady
Palladium theater on Sunset Boulevard. Tickets to see it in person go on sale today. They built a microscopic racetrack so guys can go head to head to see who's got the fastest swimmers. The track mimics the dynamics of a woman's reproductive system, so we're guessing there's no actual egg involved.
- [99:51]
John Holmberg
So dudes shoot their shot on like a. Like one of those glass plates for microscope.
- [99:56]
Dick Toledo
Yeah. Little cover sheet.
- [99:57]
Brett Vesely
I'm gonna watch live with that. Two dudes jerking it?
- [100:00]
John Holmberg
No, no, it's after effect. Brett, you don't have to. You can watch the pregame if you want to. What? I'm not gonna do this stupid.
- [100:06]
Brady
They said it's about making male fertility something people actually want to talk about. Track and improve. The new league will have every everything other sports have, including press conferences, weigh ins, play by play, commentary and betting. You'll be able to pick favorites and bet on winners. First race will. First race will feature competitors from UCLA and usc, College kids, crosstown rivalry, Trojans versus Bruins. Yep.
- [100:38]
John Holmberg
In a sperm race.
- [100:39]
Brett Vesely
I'm gonna check fanduel on this.
- [100:41]
Brady
Fanduel Favorite overall is Nick Cannon.
- [100:46]
John Holmberg
Oh, his.
- [100:46]
Brady
Minus 100.
- [100:47]
John Holmberg
He's got the Usain Bolt of spawn. Ah. Makes me wish I was still producing. Oh, that's imp. I want to. I want to watch that. I'd be. I think that's fantastic. And I would.
- [101:00]
Brady
I wonder how long the race would be then, you know.
- [101:04]
John Holmberg
You mean how long does it take for sperm to swim? Yeah, I don't think they're really great distance, you know?
- [101:08]
Brady
Yeah.
- [101:08]
Dick Toledo
Stamina.
- [101:09]
Brett Vesely
You don't think.
- [101:10]
Brady
I mean, will it be like a. Like 100 meter sprint?
- [101:15]
John Holmberg
No, I don't think they're putting it out there.
- [101:17]
Brady
Like, is it 9 sec. I'm saying, is it a 9 second.
- [101:20]
John Holmberg
Race or is that's why we got to tune in? I don't know how fast sperm is.
- [101:25]
Brett Vesely
So what's the date? What. What are we.
- [101:26]
Brady
April 25th.
- [101:27]
Brett Vesely
April 25th.
- [101:28]
John Holmberg
Pay per view.
- [101:29]
Brett Vesely
The pay per view?
- [101:29]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yes. And now I wish I. I wish I had kept some of my old junk to throw it in there and see what. See what the boys could do. Did I have my own little Ryan Lochte? They have a Michael Phelps in there that was just gonna backstroke in a temporary valve. No, mine's all burned up.
- [101:47]
Dick Toledo
It's all burned up.
- [101:47]
Brady
I don't think it sounds like. It's not a pay per view. It's just a live streaming. But you pay for tickets to.
- [101:53]
John Holmberg
No, you have to pay to go see it live. But live stream and the website again. Brady, this is better than Chicks in space.
- [102:00]
Brady
Sperm Racing.com.
- [102:02]
John Holmberg
Well, that's straightforward.
- [102:06]
Brady
Chicks.
- [102:08]
John Holmberg
No. Sperm Racing.com. i. I actually have written this down. Toledo. Hold on to that. Oh. April 25th. All right, let's make sure that we're on top of this. I don't know if it's going to be exciting, but if you've got money.
- [102:23]
Dick Toledo
On it, it's next Friday.
- [102:27]
John Holmberg
No, it's 11 days from now. Is that next Friday? Is that all? That's April.
- [102:31]
Brady
Jesus Christ.
- [102:32]
Brett Vesely
One day here.
- [102:33]
Dick Toledo
No, it's 11 days from now.
- [102:34]
John Holmberg
No, but what happened to the year? No, it's got to be like. I think it's February.
- [102:39]
Dick Toledo
It says one day.
- [102:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Wait a second. The world's first ever sperm race says it's a day away. Brady, fake news. Hold on.
- [102:50]
Dick Toledo
Thousand plus seats.
- [102:51]
John Holmberg
That's April 15th. Would be. Maybe you missed, you know, twos and.
- [102:54]
Brady
Ones this April 25th. Live streaming, April 25th. But maybe that is.
- [102:59]
John Holmberg
Maybe they're not streaming this one. Although it does look like spermracing.com has got a countdown clock.
- [103:06]
Brady
This could be a typo.
- [103:07]
Brett Vesely
And it's a manifesto. Here.
- [103:10]
John Holmberg
Do we have any, like. They had to have tested this before to make sure that it's viable.
- [103:15]
Brett Vesely
Two legends, one microscopic track.
- [103:20]
John Holmberg
I'm dying to see this. What is the speed of sperm? I don't know.
- [103:28]
Brett Vesely
Here, I'll print this for you so you can.
- [103:29]
John Holmberg
Yeah, give me some. I'm going to do some research. Right.
- [103:33]
Brady
Yeah.
- [103:33]
John Holmberg
If it's tomorrow, then the Scott guy just said this is the first time since I got it. I regret being snipped. Same.
- [103:40]
Brett Vesely
Not me.
- [103:41]
John Holmberg
Oh, in. In the long run, yes. Wouldn't you like to have one day to see how fast they were? Should have done that when I was younger. I know. My boys could swim. They were quick. I think I had, you know, a good. I think I had a good batch in my prime. It was. There was a lot of volume. We had some good. Back then. It was like, you know, I worried about decorating the face. I might Give a girl a black eye. That stuff was powerful.
- [104:15]
Dick Toledo
Johnny Sinus was in his prime.
- [104:16]
John Holmberg
It was. They were. It was powerful. Like. Yeah. I wanted to snap a head back, you know, a recoil. I wanted somebody to have to see a throat doctor when I was done because something might have torn. That stuff was coming in now. It's like a kid with cerebral palsy throwing up. That's the noise it makes when it's done. It kind of drools out. It looks like a leaky boat.
- [104:40]
Brady
Jet Puffed wants you to dye marshmallows for Easter.
- [104:45]
John Holmberg
Hey, that's smart.
- [104:47]
Brady
They actually put out a dying kit at Walmart and it's sold out really quick, so they're gonna.
- [104:53]
John Holmberg
You can't really. Well, I guess you could decorate it.
- [104:56]
Brady
The picture that I saw of some of the marshmallows look pretty interesting because.
- [105:03]
John Holmberg
You'D think the dye would just absorb right into the marshmallow. But, yeah, that might be better than eggs.
- [105:08]
Brady
Each dip and decorate kit comes with six dies. A set of decorating pens, pack of jumbo marshmallows, size of the eggs. So if you don't want to do the potatoes, get a big, big old.
- [105:27]
John Holmberg
Bag of jet puff because nobody's doing eggs. Supposed to dye everything but that.
- [105:31]
Brady
I was thinking that maybe we should throw that in with our kegs. A couple dozen eggs for each keg family.
- [105:36]
John Holmberg
That's too much money. We're only giving away five grand.
- [105:38]
Brady
Yeah, that's right.
- [105:39]
John Holmberg
The eggs are too high. Yeah.
- [105:43]
Brett Vesely
Sperm racing sounds way better than the wnba. I'm in.
- [105:48]
John Holmberg
Brittney Griner could still win. She was in a paternity suit once. That's true. I would. Yeah, the sperm race. I would. I'd put, you know, and that's like. You can't dominate as a group. That's just anybody. Like, you're not going to have, like, maybe, maybe. The Jamaicans are amazing at it.
- [106:06]
Dick Toledo
I was just going to say it's like your Chinese bet you can beat.
- [106:10]
John Holmberg
I would put all my money on them Chinese. The Chinese probably have the fastest sperm and in India is second.
- [106:17]
Brady
They just make people like crazy.
- [106:20]
John Holmberg
Their sperms work. They're industrious. I'll say that. Maybe not fast, but they're blue collar. They're hard workers. They get the job done. American sperm. You know who sperm's terrible? Japanese.
- [106:33]
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
- [106:34]
John Holmberg
Their birth rate's been dropping for years. Yeah. If I had to guess, I'd say that the. The Chinese are the blacks of sperm racing. They're going to be the most athletic ones. I think that I'm dying to see this. Can you scream, come on, come on. During the sperm race or is that a.
- [107:03]
Brady
All right, I got a couple of pretty videos.
- [107:05]
John Holmberg
Hit it.
- [107:06]
Brady
First one's little bowl over the car. Actual.
- [107:10]
John Holmberg
Say bull.
- [107:11]
Brady
A bull.
- [107:12]
John Holmberg
Oh, okay. No, here comes a bull and it jumps a car in traffic. There's a guy just running away. We're in the middle of it. There's a dog, too.
- [107:21]
Brady
Is this brahma bull?
- [107:22]
John Holmberg
There was a brahma bull.
- [107:24]
Brett Vesely
PHX arena right during the.
- [107:26]
John Holmberg
That's right before the WNBA opening season. It's opening day. What a cruddy country that is. That a bull chases a guy into traffic and behind it a Labrador. See, I feel like Duolingo just was talking to me for a second. Manzanita. Manzana apples. Yeah.
- [107:53]
Brady
Next one.
- [107:54]
John Holmberg
It's the only thing I learned on dual. I spent weeks on that thing and I went back. It's. Let me just say this, the duolingo, you get going. You're like, I'm getting good at this. It is. It's perishable. You take a few weeks off, you go back. Ombre es manzita. No, nothing. I got nothing.
- [108:14]
Brady
Next one is this dude on his motorcycle and he's doing a little play by play. Sees this old lady cross the road.
- [108:21]
John Holmberg
Okay. Cruising along. There's a lady just standing in the road. Oh, man, the truck hit the old lady. Yeah, Something about a beehive. I'm with you.
- [108:40]
Dick Toledo
No madre.
- [108:41]
John Holmberg
No madre. No madre is not going to be high.
- [108:45]
Brett Vesely
Oh.
- [108:46]
John Holmberg
Oh, damn. It's a freeway. She's just walking on the freeway. We'll go.
- [108:52]
Brett Vesely
Get off the road.
- [108:52]
John Holmberg
Get out there.
- [108:53]
Brady
There, she did it again.
- [108:56]
John Holmberg
I can't watch that a couple more times. Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? CMC is hiring immediately at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. Open positions with a $5,000 sign on bonus include automation specialists, industrial electricians and industrial mechanics. Join the next generation of steel makers and help keep our electrical operators and machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is.
- [109:34]
Dick Toledo
An equal opportunity employer.
- [109:36]
John Holmberg
So you've got a business, but what about a brand? The difference, more of you. WIX gives you the freedom to create your website, own your brand, and do it on your own, exactly how you envisioned it. Experience limitless customization, boost your creativity and efficiency with AI tools for every part of your Business. Business journey. Scale up with built in SEO, e comm, and scheduling features. Put more of you in your business. Go to wix.com and do it all yourself. Holmberg's morning sickness.
- [110:09]
Brady
Last one's a little highlight from the Masters. Yeah. Jordan Spieth. Now watch as he walks through the crowd. They are investigating to see if he nutted this guy on purpose.
- [110:20]
John Holmberg
He hits a guy in the balls.
- [110:22]
Brady
Yeah. He's holding his potter in, this guy, right?
- [110:25]
John Holmberg
Yes, he did. And then he grinned a little bit. He did it on purpose. Why would they investigate? That's hilarious. Does he know the guy gave him.
- [110:31]
Brady
A little tap right in the dick?
- [110:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he gave him a little dick tap. That's great.
- [110:38]
Dick Toledo
What's the investigation?
- [110:39]
John Holmberg
What's the investigation?
- [110:41]
Brady
Because it's the Masters. And the behavior of a PGA player.
- [110:49]
Dick Toledo
Never going to be able to prove that.
- [110:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah. What if you hit him in the leg? It was right. I mean, it was a clean shot. Every. Every golf guy's been tapped by the edge of the thing in the balls. It's a rite of passage on the course. Yeah, you do.
- [111:05]
Brady
See where I hit this?
- [111:05]
John Holmberg
You do the one off the club. Brady will hold the club face here. What? I got the ball right here on the club face. And you look, and then he'll whip the handle into your balls. I've seen him catch 30. Oh, he loves every second of it. He's five. I've seen it. I've seen it work.
- [111:20]
Dick Toledo
Do that to Ch.
- [111:21]
John Holmberg
20 or 25 times. We might have done it to Chuck.
- [111:23]
Brady
We dropped Chuck.
- [111:27]
John Holmberg
See where I got that ball there, Cha? Right there in the face.
- [111:34]
Dick Toledo
No wonder he hated you.
- [111:36]
John Holmberg
Sorry about that, Chuck. Oh, there were several reasons. Chuck hated us for a lot of reasons. First off, we didn't buy him 12 cartons of cigarettes. And he was running. He was running low. Never seen anybody smoke more in my life. And then his name wasn't Cha. It was Joe. Right. We just couldn't understand him, so we called him Cha.
- [111:57]
Brady
I am Ch.
- [111:59]
John Holmberg
Is that your name? Okay. I'm John. Okay. Cha. Cha. I'm saying that. Knock it off.
- [112:07]
Dick Toledo
Texters are saying that was speech agent.
- [112:09]
John Holmberg
So of course you're allowed to knock him in the nuts. That's her friends.
- [112:16]
Brady
I don't.
- [112:16]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it was. Nothing better happen. Not a lot better than when Brady will knock somebody in the balls with that stupid trick. And it happens. And they fall for it every time. Another one is when the. If you know that the. You know, you're a cute cart girl. When Brady walks Up to you and goes to take American money. I just got back from Hawaii. I got. Or do you take Hawaiian money? You take Hawaiian money? I just got back from. From Hawaii. Yeah.
- [112:37]
Brady
All right, great.
- [112:38]
John Holmberg
Good job there. Hey, by the way, are you local or from around here? And then they're like, hahaha. I'm like, oh, Brady's making his moves on the cart girl with his dad jokes. It's a progressive ad. It's Dr. Rick.
- [112:49]
Brady
I gotta start bringing those back.
- [112:52]
John Holmberg
Strong John Michael Golfing for that.
- [112:54]
Brett Vesely
Just to see that.
- [112:55]
John Holmberg
Strong John.
- [112:56]
Dick Toledo
Check the fanduel. Usc, UCLA may be in the names, but wait until those soakers from BYU get in there.
- [113:03]
John Holmberg
Boy, those kids are built up. Yeah, they are. Their stuff's going to be like a jailbreak. Yeah, the usc, UCLA kids get to use theirs. Their stuff might be a little bit entitled. Those BYU kids. That's a good one right there. All right. In the United States, I'm putting BYU pretty high on the list of shooters. That's a, that's a powerhouse school, man. You local, are from around here. They always answer, oh, I live here. Wine money. I just got back from the Big Island.
- [113:43]
Dick Toledo
You still have your pride and joy in your wallet?
- [113:46]
Brady
I don't. I'll. I'll.
- [113:47]
John Holmberg
Don't. No, no, no, no, no.
- [113:49]
Brady
It's due.
- [113:51]
John Holmberg
No, no. Have you seen that one picture of pride and Joy? Cleaning products. You want to see my pride and joy? He'd open his wallet and there's a picture of pride and Joy. The Christ. Yeah, and he's dying over here, loving it. It. No, you're laughing.
- [114:09]
Brett Vesely
Pride and joy stuff.
- [114:10]
John Holmberg
You don't know. Pride and Joy. Joy was like a dish soap.
- [114:13]
Brett Vesely
Oh, yeah, okay, I remember that, but yeah. How many people under 50 are going to remember?
- [114:19]
John Holmberg
Look, I'll tell you this right now.
- [114:21]
Brady
We're bringing it back.
- [114:22]
John Holmberg
No, nobody remembered it. And then he would have a picture of it and everyone stared at it and look at him like, what are you doing?
- [114:28]
Brady
And he was framed on my desk.
- [114:30]
John Holmberg
There it is. Pride. And he. And he was in. He was in a little.
- [114:34]
Brady
A little. A little two by three.
- [114:36]
John Holmberg
Yeah. No one laughed at the joke except Brady. No one. And I think he thought the whole world was on its knees giggling. It was only him. And then I saw his dad do it.
- [114:49]
Dick Toledo
What?
- [114:49]
John Holmberg
Same exact bogan reaction. And everybody's looking at him like, what the hell's wrong with these two? No one ever went, oh, that's hilarious. Want to see my pride and joy? Here we go. Okay, that's Good stuff. And everybody's looking at him like, what just happened? Why does this lady just tell me the cleaning supplies in her. What's going on?
- [115:09]
Brady
It shuts down. People showing pictures.
- [115:11]
Dick Toledo
Oh, it shuts them down.
- [115:12]
John Holmberg
It doesn't. No one shows pictures in their wallet anymore.
- [115:16]
Brady
It's all on your phone.
- [115:17]
Brett Vesely
Yeah, put it on your phone.
- [115:18]
John Holmberg
Put it on your thing. Yeah, I can do that. Wallpaper. Yeah. Just make it your screensaver. I always keep a picture of my pride and joy on it. Oh, God, I'm glad we all had a laugh at that.
- [115:33]
Dick Toledo
You might want to prep Matthias.
- [115:36]
Brett Vesely
Great.
- [115:37]
John Holmberg
Not one of us had a laugh at that. Just you. That was good. Everybody was on the floor.
- [115:43]
Brady
Had an 8 by 11 on my desk.
- [115:45]
Brett Vesely
Oh, my God.
- [115:46]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it was bad. It had to be. There had to be some curbing the pride and joy was your dad's thing. Like, he passed it down to. To you.
- [115:56]
Brady
No, it was Mike Jorgensen.
- [115:59]
John Holmberg
Oh, he had it.
- [116:00]
Brady
Yeah.
- [116:01]
John Holmberg
How'd that end?
- [116:02]
Brady
Not good for him.
- [116:04]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [116:05]
Brett Vesely
What happened to Mike Jorgensen?
- [116:06]
John Holmberg
Mike killed himself.
- [116:07]
Brady
Killed himself in Mexico.
- [116:11]
John Holmberg
So you're telling me you wanted to be a standup comic and it wasn't working out? Why? There's no one laughing at my jokes. Here, buddy, you take this. It's brought me great pain.
- [116:23]
Brett Vesely
Down.
- [116:23]
Brady
That's where I got it.
- [116:25]
John Holmberg
It's brought me great pain.
- [116:27]
Brady
Maybe last card.
- [116:29]
John Holmberg
Maybe it will work for you. All right, Brett, what do you got?
- [116:32]
Brett Vesely
Nothing compared to that.
- [116:33]
John Holmberg
No pride and joy. I did used to enjoy the watching dudes get smashed in the nuts by Brady's club. And nobody ever takes a swing at you when you do, you do that? Just at a bus stop. We're just like, see my golf club I got here? You hit a guy in the nuts. Whether you're getting into a fight on a golf course, it's just hilarious.
- [116:50]
Dick Toledo
We found another Brady. My I love you, Brady. My uncle had the exact same picture in his wallet. And I always claimed that he always carries a picture of his pride and joy. I loved it.
- [116:59]
John Holmberg
Yeah, because you were six.
- [117:01]
Brett Vesely
Signed Kirby Bogan.
- [117:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah.
- [117:04]
Dick Toledo
Don't listen to these haters, Brady. It's funny. I'm really, genuinely laughing right now.
- [117:09]
John Holmberg
You're laughing? Yeah. And I can tell you sign the late tour. Emailing from heaven. Why aren't they laughing? No, I've witnessed it. Nobody thinks it's funny, but the guy doing it, I've witnessed it. And, you know, like, I go with Brett's route, like, oh, Christ, here we go. Oh. And I walk away like, oh, this is gonna end with groaning.
- [117:32]
Dick Toledo
So we used to be able to time it during the MILF contest.
- [117:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he'd break out.
- [117:36]
Dick Toledo
What time he'd break that.
- [117:37]
John Holmberg
He hit that early on. He liked his.
- [117:39]
Brady
They're showing their kids.
- [117:40]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yep, that's right.
- [117:43]
Brady
Break out.
- [117:44]
John Holmberg
My pride and joy. All right. Beer all week. It's funny with the ladies because they know what the cleaning supplies are. The good ones.
- [117:56]
Brady
That's good stuff, baby.
- [117:57]
John Holmberg
Yeah, sorry.
- [117:59]
Dick Toledo
That number.
- [117:59]
John Holmberg
What do you got?
- [118:00]
Brett Vesely
All right, we've seen this one before, but in honor of. Of country thunder that happened this weekend.
- [118:06]
John Holmberg
I forgot about dumb thunder and I didn't hear anybody. Was there. Just a bunch of people. Just hillbilly passing out and probably. Oh, here we go. By the Porta John's a country thumb girl in jean shorts yelling at another girl. I didn't hear it. Okay. They're in a. They're in a face to face fight now at the Porta John. We're banging. The door opens to one of them. There's a girl trying to come out of what all. They push in. They go into the Porta John to fight. Oh, she's gonna swirl here. She's getting her upside down in the Porta John. They're gonna dunk her hat. We have now four women in the Porta John fighting. And one's head.
- [118:44]
Brett Vesely
Oh, almost the top.
- [118:45]
John Holmberg
Here we go. Now pulls the other one out by the ponytail. Nice. Goes back in to close the. Oh, she's cleaning the deal up. The blonde, the late arriving blonde is mopping up.
- [118:57]
Brady
Why would you.
- [118:59]
John Holmberg
Did none of the girls go into the toilet? Now she's going to do another one and just pulling another broad out. Wow. There is a lot of decent but not great looking women fighting in this video. You and holy cow.
- [119:11]
Dick Toledo
Still going in there with all that going on.
- [119:13]
John Holmberg
I still have to pee.
- [119:14]
Dick Toledo
I can wait.
- [119:15]
John Holmberg
Women can't wait. They have to go. She didn't get that one. They were trying to dunk her.
- [119:20]
Brett Vesely
No, I know. In that blue water.
- [119:23]
John Holmberg
Luckily, that last blonde came in and stole her out of there. That was getting close to the worst thing I've ever seen.
- [119:30]
Brett Vesely
This one's entitled Rob try to rob a Dollar Tree store. F around to find out.
- [119:34]
John Holmberg
Oh, Dollar Tree store robbery. We're outside trying to open the doors of the dog. Dollar Tree doors are open. Guy coming out. I don't know what's going on. We're at that. We're just at the door.
- [119:50]
Dick Toledo
Somebody's going in because they got the gates closed.
- [119:53]
John Holmberg
Oh, here comes A dude. Oh, Security at the door as a guy tries to run away. Catches a hundred punches in the face and still punching him in the face. That ought to do it. 40 landed shot. Should close the door on the robber. I didn't even see that guy coming. Oh, now we're dragging him back into the dollar store, which is what you're supposed to do with your Never leave him.
- [120:13]
Brett Vesely
No, I pulled him outside.
- [120:14]
John Holmberg
Oh, that is coming in as a robber breath. I think so.
- [120:17]
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
- [120:17]
John Holmberg
That's a mistake. Wow. Yeah. You always leave your victim inside.
- [120:21]
Brett Vesely
Hey, man, mess around in Maryville, that's what happens.
- [120:23]
Dick Toledo
But if you tell one story right.
- [120:25]
John Holmberg
A cop told me that if you. If you got a guy and you beat him up on your patio, pull him into the house. Because if he's outside, there's an argument his lawyer will make that says he was trying to get away. Always drag the body that you just killed into the home after you jackhammer that face.
- [120:40]
Brady
Like that guy.
- [120:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you jackhammer him out there on. And. And he was trying to run away. Yeah. Drag him back into the house for sure. Great legal advice right there. All right.
- [120:50]
Brett Vesely
And we'll just end with some cooking for Brady.
- [120:53]
John Holmberg
Okay, ladies. Got it. Right. I'm Danny Spies, and I'm showing you how to make really good scrambled eggs. Okay. And it just cuts to a lady. Oh, Jesus. The lady. Wow. Hold on. I'll explain it. This gets weird because it starts. All right, Danny. It starts with a regular cooking show, and then you see. And then it cuts to a porno where a guy cracks a raw egg into a girl's mouth and then uses his utensil to scramble it in her mouth.
- [121:23]
Brady
Wow.
- [121:23]
Brett Vesely
There's your next song there, Toledo.
- [121:27]
John Holmberg
Now that you know, let's watch again, shall we go in.
- [121:30]
Brett Vesely
Start from the beginning.
- [121:31]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I'm Dani Spies, and I'm showing you how to make really good scrambled eggs. Crack it in. It's in her mouth. Oh, here's what I do. And you beat the eggs. There are no ideas in porn they haven't tried. They crack a raw egg in her mouth and scramble it. I bet you that'd be good. And they do it. Somewhere out there is a willing participant. She's got a smile on her face. Yeah, she's got a raw egg in her mouth. And the dudes.
- [122:11]
Brett Vesely
The sound is great.
- [122:12]
John Holmberg
Scrambling it.
- [122:15]
Brady
He is.
- [122:16]
John Holmberg
They're mixing the eggs in the. They're making eggs. I didn't realize what a grotesque sound it was.
- [122:22]
Brady
Flesh whisker.
- [122:22]
John Holmberg
Two or two. Yeah, that's Right. Flesh Whisker is a great band name spelled with an H. Go with flesh whisker. Confuse everybody. And then. But the.
- [122:33]
Brett Vesely
The.
- [122:33]
John Holmberg
The logo is the whisker, but it's spelled with an H, not W. I. Wh. Make it right. Wow. What a day. All right, there you go. Somebody's like, I laugh at everything Brady says. Signed, Arthur Fleck, the joker. It's a great joke right there. Well done, Craig. There goes your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. My emails are erupting with sperm racing arguments. There is one thing that they have figured out. If you want men to be interested in it, make it gambling worthy. Make it so he can gain or lose cash on it says the sperm Racing isn't about racing the sperm sperm. It's about turning health into a competition about making male fertility something people actually want to track and improve. We're. We're taking a topic no one likes to touch and making it something measurable and weirdly changing this paradigm so men can talk about it. Because evidently, and I didn't even know this till right now, that if your sperm's slow, something's wrong with you.
- [123:51]
Dick Toledo
So is the goal to have, like, you, me, Brett Brady go.
- [123:55]
John Holmberg
Eventually the goal will be that in the hallway, instead of a pinball machine, we're gonna be able to dump our loads in there and then race our sperm for a few bucks. It's kind of like when you see all those rap videos where dudes are shooting dice in an alley. The future is now sperm racing.
- [124:11]
Dick Toledo
Well, Stanley Hubbard is sad he missed that, right?
- [124:15]
John Holmberg
What do you mean? He's alive. Is he? Yeah. Jesus God. Don't kill our. Don't kill our overlord. Why would Stanley Hubbard not want to be involved in that? In fact, a guy his age.
- [124:27]
Brady
Age.
- [124:27]
John Holmberg
He's the one who should most likely be involved in this. Somebody his age should be like, let's see what I'm firing. If he's still got some swimmers in there, if he didn't tie the tubes and burn them off like Burt and I did, that's a fantastic thing. But, yeah, you guys are emailing and everybody's picking their favors. If you can make it to where we can bracket things and gamble.
- [124:46]
Dick Toledo
John, would it be considered cheating if we had Sophia Vergara host?
- [124:50]
John Holmberg
I don't know. That makes your sperm faster. Might make it dumb. Dumb.
- [124:53]
Dick Toledo
Yeah, that could be.
- [124:54]
John Holmberg
You know, you go faster with something awful you slow down with. I mean, you can still lose control, but I think they're just dumb and happy and kind of misguided when they're.
- [125:05]
Brady
Going all over the place.
- [125:06]
John Holmberg
Yeah. They're like, that's chaotic. When it's just like. I think what you want is utilitarian stuff.
- [125:12]
Brady
The ones that the, you know, that beeline for that.
- [125:15]
John Holmberg
A. Yeah. You just want the sperms to go. I'm not enjoying this and you're not. Let's just go A to B. The less I see, the better. It's like driving through Texas. Let's just speed through this. This you're not. There's no beautiful visions. There's no pull offs. There's nothing. Let's just straight line.
- [125:29]
Dick Toledo
John, what you just said. Is sperm a topic nobody wants to touch. And they wonder why the divorce rate is so high.
- [125:35]
John Holmberg
That's so true. If women made sperm, we'd have cups of it in the fridge. It's true.
- [125:48]
Dick Toledo
You're right.
- [125:49]
John Holmberg
Women did that. We're like, oh, they're. I sell this. I'd be rubbing it all over. It'd be constant.
- [125:53]
Dick Toledo
There's nine different jars on my vanity right now of sperm.
- [125:58]
John Holmberg
All right, I'm gonna shut you off of that guy. Wow. Nope, Turned him off. You heard it here first. Toledo's got nine different jars of sperm on his. On his bathroom countertop. That's enough of you talking. Paula Proc is right. Yeah, no, that's. They've, you know, they don't want any of our stuff. We gotta talk them into it. If they had it, it'd be a shelf at the store. You know how much money what's that Gwyneth Paltrow makes on that goop? And her candles that smell like her vagina. And you couldn't have a like John's dick smelling candle and have it sell. I'd go to jail for thinking about it.
- [126:39]
Dick Toledo
Could. You're just not.
- [126:40]
John Holmberg
Nobody's kind enough to try it. She has candles that are like, this smells like probably my John. And she sells it and women buy it.
- [126:51]
Dick Toledo
I think she's just getting over on everybody.
- [126:53]
John Holmberg
Maybe. But we're interested if I said, hey, the sweet, sweet smell of my penis I've put into a wax candle. If you want to burn it, it's like you're going to hell. And you wouldn't be wrong. That's not a good. Sometimes I can smell it and I don't want it.
- [127:08]
Brett Vesely
Of course, Martin never came out and said that that actually smells like that. Look, he did the Pepsi challenge with him or anything. You know, two candles, a Yankee candle and Gwen.
- [127:18]
John Holmberg
He said, there it is. That's her. Smells a little bit like a badger. And when you hit a skunk on a road, unmistakable.
- [127:26]
Brady
Musky with sandalwood.
- [127:28]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I believe that one's from anthropology. Oh, that's definitely Gwyneth Munge. Anyway, it's time for the Guadalupe replay. We do it on Friday, we replay it on Monday. Why wouldn't we? We. John Travolta's brother was offered to us as a guest to talk. I didn't know he had an autistic brother in his 70s, but he does and the guy's totally normal. But evidently he's a spokesperson now. So we had Joey and John Travolta in. Cesar Milan made an appearance. He's back. And I believe Trump did some. Some work. This is an easy one. It's your Guadalupe replay. Everybody sit back and enjoy. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. Still streaming Hberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com I got it, I got it, I got it. You guys can pull away. It's for the people of the Suns. Coach Bud out fired. It's an annual tradition here in Phoenix that the day after the season ends for the basketball team, the coach is fired. So that's three in a row. Three straight years.
- [128:44]
Brett Vesely
Who's next?
- [128:45]
John Holmberg
Next.
- [128:46]
Brady
You got to give it to him for consistency.
- [128:48]
John Holmberg
Yeah, we treat the Sun's coaches like we're playing that balloon popping dating game. Just as they walk by, we pop it and the show's over. Gone.
- [128:57]
Brett Vesely
Well, the goat's available. Not doing anything. Not Jordan. Diana.
- [129:02]
John Holmberg
You know what, Brett? Why not? Can't fire her. Everybody scream and yell that you were being a sexist.
- [129:10]
Brett Vesely
She's already got a street name for. I mean, hey, why not?
- [129:13]
John Holmberg
Amazing, evidently. Why not put Diana up there. That's not a bad idea actually when you think about it. Kill two birds. You know what if she pulls it off? It's better than this flight for ladies up there to 11 minutes of space. That. I got it. I got my favorite meme so far about this actually. Olivia Munn is already in trouble because she went on some show this morning, the actress Olivia Munn and said this seems a little self congratulatory and like you guys didn't do anything. You. You rode in a rocket.
- [129:45]
Brady
11 minutes.
- [129:46]
John Holmberg
An achievement, a female achievement. Just cuz it was all women inside. She was like really down on there, crushing her for it. Like Olivia Munn went and said something and I went nuts. So it's she's like it. Doesn't it seem like talking about how your eyelashes are going to float off your face and didn't it seem a little self. Self aggrandizing like you were. And then the best meme I got so far was basically a. A little guy named Ham. I believe was his name Ham. He was the first to. To go into space in 1961. He said congratulations to the ladies. To do the exact same accomplishment Accomplishment that I did in 1961. Signed Ham. And Ham isn't a little monkey. He went up there too. It's not hard to ride in this. I don't know how this is an achievement. I guess just because.
- [130:44]
Brady
So it's achievement when you buy it for a million bucks.
- [130:48]
John Holmberg
Well, I mean if the globetrotters went up, would we make it a big like moment for achievement? Yeah, I mean it's just not. Anyway, we could shoot all the sun's coaches up there. It'd be the first time all these unemployed guys would be there.
- [130:59]
Brett Vesely
They got enough room.
- [131:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah. So they are three head coaches in three years. Yeah. They don't. They have to build a bigger rocket eventually for the sun. So they fired but so count on it. I'm venturing to guess James Jones will be fired later today. Ben, you better have a plan. I won't miss the face of Budenholzer though because it always looked like he's. He has cuck face. But it's seriously, when you look at him, it's cuck face. He has the face and it's a cuck who doesn't like what he's seeing. Like somebody's boning his wife. His hands are always in his pockets and their eyes are like I didn't agree to that. Get it out of there. That's the no go hole. It just looks like some he just walked in on his wife just getting railed in ways he can't imagine. Never look good. Picture right here. Tell me that guy is watching basketball. This dude is seeing his wife anus.
- [132:00]
Brady
Not happy with it.
- [132:01]
John Holmberg
What's happening over there? It's somewhere between sadness and crying and like anger and an inability to fight back. It's walking into a. Into your bedroom and Shaquille o' Neal's on top of your wife. You realize at that point, yeah, I'm out. There's nothing I can do about this. I can't fight. I'm gonna lose the fight. What are you going to do? So bud's out. Congratulations, sons. You're doing a hell of A job. Sba. You're three for. Three for coaches. You haven't had one stick for more than 12 months. That's. That's hard to do. It's time now for what would Brady do? He'd have fired the whole staff weeks ago. It's brought to you by our friends at M and p guns inside Mo Money Pond, 12th street in Indian School. If you want to hop on in there and take a look at everything they've got. It is a. A lot. And they've been doing specials like crazy. So go in and ask. Ask Byron. Hey, what's today's KUPD special? Birthday boy. And he'll. He'll tell you.
- [132:54]
Brett Vesely
And it was just his birthday last week.
- [132:56]
John Holmberg
It is. Yeah. It's close. So it's the password again? Yeah, yeah, the password is Byron Special day. Go in and say that, and he'll give you a percentage off. But they've got all sorts of. Of stuff. And plus the. The gun building thing, the AR15 and the 9. You can go build those guns, save yourself some money and learn about them while you do it. It. Not to mention pick up everything. MMP guns inside Mo Money Pond, 12th street and Indian School. Head on over there. Brady, are you ready?
- [133:21]
Brady
Ready.
- [133:24]
John Holmberg
That's a different one. I got the wrong printout. I'll start here, though. Where'd that go? Hold on. This is the other one. I got a print. It says, dear Brady, my girlfriend is trying to convert to veganism. She's making vegan meals for me, and I really don't mind them, but suddenly she's saying there won't be any more real dairy or meat in our house. And the reason she says it is because I said the stuff she's been making will do. It's fine. I am willing to try this, but if I have to sacrifice meat, she has to sacrifice something she loves in the house as well. And we both agreed to leave that decision up to our favorite show. So you tell us and make it count. Terry, you made the mistake of eating the tofu and the kale and saying, this isn't bad. I can do this. And she's like, good, Clear the fridge. No more. Think of it. No more dairy means vegan cheese, which doesn't melt. Or if you're a big milk or ice cream, all that. All that stuff goes straight milk or. And not bad. Almond milk's okay. Yeah, but, you know, no more delicious cakes that. No, eggs. I can eat eggs, I think. I don't know if vegans eat eggs. Nothing funny I think so. What does she have to give up? Because you've sacked. That doesn't mean you can't go out and eat meat. You just can't have it in the house. No more butter. Oh, got that crisp vegan butter. That's what I'm saying. No more butter. I know there's vegan butter. Give some of that nasty ass real life for any of you.
- [135:00]
Brady
Of all people, he's going after grass fed fed butter now, too.
- [135:04]
John Holmberg
Like that's from.
- [135:06]
Brady
But it's from cow. But the difference of it, that's grass fed. I don't.
- [135:11]
John Holmberg
I don't know. That's still dairy. Dairy. That's still real, though. That's old school.
- [135:15]
Brady
This means more money.
- [135:17]
John Holmberg
It could mean that she thinks she's getting something. She said, look, throw the word organic on it. And chicks think that there's something special. It's not. Everything's organic. So what does she have to give her?
- [135:26]
Brady
Actually? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, you know, I got. What do they do on that as far as going out?
- [135:34]
John Holmberg
What is yours?
- [135:35]
Brett Vesely
Mouth hugs.
- [135:36]
John Holmberg
Oh, no. You're adding mouth hugs to her life. But again, you take the meat out of the fridge, I get to put meat in you.
- [135:45]
Brady
That's not giving up.
- [135:47]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's adding. You got to make sure that all of her makeup and clothing, she goes.
- [135:54]
Brady
Full granola, full out.
- [135:55]
John Holmberg
Like, her makeup can't be animal anything. None of it. All of her bathroom supplies.
- [136:02]
Brady
It's gonna cost you more.
- [136:03]
Brett Vesely
Okay, I'm with Brady. It's gonna cost you at the end.
- [136:05]
John Holmberg
But if she's gonna do this, maybe she's pulling some cash, is to pay for it herself. If she's gonna do this, you don't want the hip, the hypocrisy if you're sacrificing meat. But she can still have, you know, whale product makeup and stuff that things get killed or tested for. So you got to go through that. And if she has any leather in the closet that goes, it all goes shoes. All of it. Because if you're going to play this game with my meat, and normally I say that with a smile, I'm going to play it back. We're going to go through your closet. Go. We got to get rid of all this leather. Can't have meat in the house. Can't have their skin either. But those are my favorite shoes. Uh huh huh. I'm not doing it for the animals. I'm doing it for my health. Well, well, you got to give up something, too. I like that you can go the other way and start get the mouth hugs. But we both know that direction. You're going to be eating tofu steaks for a while. And you're like, it's been months since I got one of them mouth hugs and I'm still eating this vegan cr.
- [137:00]
Brett Vesely
Then you go to the steak place, Kansas City steaks or whatever stuff from.
- [137:04]
Brady
Didn't you try someone grilled mouth hug? Grilled some tofu.
- [137:08]
John Holmberg
I've tried a mouth hug. They're not bad.
- [137:10]
Brett Vesely
You did?
- [137:10]
John Holmberg
How old were you? I've tried to give myself a mouth hug. It almost broke my back. Got the top in, did you? Yeah.
- [137:19]
Brett Vesely
I'm kind of impressed.
- [137:20]
John Holmberg
Well, I couldn't do anything with it. You know, once it was in there, it was like. Well, that's it. There was no motion possible. You can't even. Like. I had my hips at full flex and there I was. God, I'm glad Dan didn't walk in that day. That would have been the worst. Jesus Christ. And it was a series of attempts to loosen up, limber up, because the first few times I was just. Maybe I could wag the tongue and. And make contact. But then I finally got it around there, but I couldn't do anything after. Anyway. Go on.
- [137:50]
Brady
If the reason why she's doing this is for the both of you to eat healthier, maybe.
- [137:58]
John Holmberg
Maybe she's just not a bat.
- [137:59]
Brady
I mean, she's doing the. The prep and all that stuff and it's turning out okay. And you like it.
- [138:05]
Brett Vesely
Brady, who are you?
- [138:06]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I don't know who you are.
- [138:07]
Brady
But here's what I. My main concern is what. What do you do when you go out? It's a pain, right?
- [138:14]
John Holmberg
She can do whatever she wants. He's not giving it up. It's just not in the house anymore. That's what I'm saying. He's not giving up anything. He's just saying, in the house, fine. But if we go out, I can do whatever I want. Like, he's not going to be a vegan too. It's just around the house. Whatever you make, I'll eat.
- [138:28]
Brett Vesely
They're never going to be eating at home again.
- [138:30]
John Holmberg
They're gonna be. Yeah, that's what. I'd be out every night. So one way or another, it's going to cost you. I say make sure because I think my way makes her kind of cave. We're going to go through all your supplies and make sure that there's no animals involved at all. If you're going to Sit and call yourself a vegan. Let's go 100% across the board.
- [138:47]
Brady
It's. If you want to keep doing. I, I would say this. I, I would. If she wants to cook stuff and do that, that's great, great. But to put the law in that there's no meat allowed or dairy in the house. Sorry. That continues.
- [139:04]
John Holmberg
All right, so you said on my.
- [139:06]
Brady
You know, you can still wean yourself off. You know, his wife can do her thing, right. And he'll join in. But I still.
- [139:15]
John Holmberg
Now she's gonna make you want to buy new pots and pans because you're.
- [139:19]
Brady
She needs separate.
- [139:20]
John Holmberg
All your stuff's going to be touching her stuff. Stuff.
- [139:22]
Brady
Because she won't. She only prep her stuff.
- [139:25]
John Holmberg
I'm just saying I'm throwing the options out there. That's what I would probably do too. I don't want your dirty ass butter and steak on my pots and pans that are pristine. Gina says she's got to give up hair coloring treatment, fake nails and fake eyelashes. All of it's chemical. I don't know if that's.
- [139:42]
Brady
Well, then you'll. Then you'll realize what you married?
- [139:45]
John Holmberg
Yeah, a Looney Tune. You know what?
- [139:47]
Brady
You should give up when she comes out of there.
- [139:50]
John Holmberg
What are we talking about? Yeah, give up on this marriage. Marriage. It's ridiculous what she's trying to do to you.
- [140:00]
Brady
You gotta find a. That's too extreme. Yeah, it's part of the marriage thing where you work things out.
- [140:08]
John Holmberg
Go to her shoes and her belts and her purses.
- [140:10]
Brett Vesely
Hit her work accounts.
- [140:11]
John Holmberg
Go. Yeah, hit her. Tear off that space. I'll get a tear. A few. No more leather belts, shoes, no more purses. All of it has to be cloth and it can be from an animal. It's got to be something synthetic. But my brain's in their own weather. Can't do it. Yeah, hit her where it hurts. Go into that room of shoes and purses and if she's okay with it, then follow through. I like the give and take. Here, negotiate. Dear Brady, My girlfriend's daughter is allergic to my dog. My dog is 11 and is my best friend. It's got me through some tough times and I'm not doing anything but loving that guy. My girlfriend has talked about moving in and I want her to, but her daughter can't come with, just can't. Her ex husband has said he stepped up and would take that kid full time and really wants to. And my girlfriend said I should be as willing to give my dog away as he's T.R. as she says. I'm trying to make her give her daughter away. It's not the same. She still gets to see and keep her daughter. If I give my dog away, he's gone on. The kid simply can't live in my house. She gets really sick, and I'm not giving up on the dog. It's a mess. Help us out, Lyle.
- [141:22]
Brady
Have the kid Ben a drill up and hang out at the house when it's over there, and it's fine. I've had that. I mean, there's a couple of friends that, you know, Kirby had that come over growing up that were allergic to pets or cats. And the one kid would just take a Benadryl, throw an EpiPen in her.
- [141:40]
John Holmberg
Pocket, things start going sideways.
- [141:43]
Brady
That extreme. I mean, I wouldn't, you know, but there are cases where. Oh, they can't come over. You have to go over there. This one, you're right. It's different from giving the kid up because she can still see the kid. But there are situations where maybe you find a. You know, is there a way? Can you.
- [142:02]
John Holmberg
How's the guy being considered selfish? He was living alone with his dog.
- [142:08]
Brady
No, it sounds first.
- [142:11]
John Holmberg
And the lady's like, I want to bring my kid in with. It's like, you can't.
- [142:13]
Brady
She's not a pet owner.
- [142:15]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
- [142:15]
Brady
You just don't understand.
- [142:17]
John Holmberg
She needs to sit. Look, the dog's 11.
- [142:19]
Brady
Yeah.
- [142:20]
John Holmberg
If you're lucky, five or six more years is like a long stretch. More than likely a couple more years.
- [142:26]
Brett Vesely
In the words of Charlie Sheen, winning the parent, the dad's gonna take the kid full time. Goodbye, you're winning.
- [142:32]
John Holmberg
Why can't you give dad the kid awesome, and you see him every other weekend? And then, like Brady said, throw Benadryl in it on a Friday night, let it stay through Sunday. When it starts to swell, give it.
- [142:41]
Brett Vesely
Back to dad, back up your stuff and get the hell out.
- [142:44]
John Holmberg
But she's being selfish by saying. Not saying, hey, look, my kid can't move, so I'm just gonna. This sounds like she's trying to glom on financially in some way.
- [142:54]
Brady
It's not fair on that. On that side, it is selfish.
- [142:57]
John Holmberg
As the mom, she goes, my kid can't live there. And you just don't even consider moving in? In.
- [143:01]
Brady
I wouldn't ask that of a person. If I, you know, was dating a girl and that situation was that way. I need you to get rid of your pet. I would.
- [143:12]
John Holmberg
No, not even close to that. You ready for this now?
- [143:17]
Brady
Is it. Is the guy a bad guy? If he's like, you know what? I'm gonna find a home for my pet because I want.
- [143:23]
Brett Vesely
Yes.
- [143:24]
John Holmberg
Yep.
- [143:25]
Brady
I don't think so.
- [143:26]
John Holmberg
You agree to own that dog forever. You agree to take care of that dog forever. An 11 year old dog and you're like, here's a home for you. Goodbye. You're a dick. You're a bad human being. The dog's not doing anything wrong. You're doing this for somebody else, moving in with you. And you could sit and just say, look, I've made a commitment to this dog that I'm going to take care of him until he's gone. Not that when it's inconvenient, I'll just pawn him off on someone else.
- [143:50]
Brady
Eleven years, I find the love of my life.
- [143:53]
John Holmberg
So watch. Then she'll be there, there. If it's the love of your life, she'll be there forever. There's no rush.
- [143:59]
Brady
It's got to work out somehow.
- [144:01]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I think the woman's being selfish, saying, look, I want to move in right now, even though it's wildly inconvenient to both me and you. We're going to do this. You're just causing trouble right off the bat.
- [144:11]
Brady
What he could do is say, you know what? Dog inside, daughter outside.
- [144:15]
John Holmberg
Fine with that too. Yep. We keep this one in a kennel and we let the dog run around and do what it wants. It's his house. House. But that Mom's saying, no. Here's how it's going to be. Think about this. Forgot a guy's name. Lyle. She's coming in, making drama right away. Hey, wait a minute. We know a Lyle just won't.
- [144:36]
Brady
It just won't work right now.
- [144:37]
John Holmberg
You don't come in, start slashing prices right away, it's no good. You come in and say, hey, if it's the love of your life, you two can make it work a little while longer while there's still a dog and some malfunctioning human daughter that can't be around it. That's pretty bad. And especially when dad's willing to step up. Hey, send her over to my house now. He makes concessions for me or else this is a red flag.
- [145:03]
Brett Vesely
Peace out.
- [145:04]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'm with you. This is a huge red flag that she's trying to dictate terms before she even lives there. Imagine how it's going to get once she's in and your best friend's gone. We got to get all new carpet and all new floors because that dog dander is still in here, and it's still making our precious little angels sick. Next thing you know, you've spent 70 or $80,000 remodeling your whole house and it looks like hers. Now.
- [145:25]
Brady
How old's the daughter?
- [145:27]
John Holmberg
It's a good question. I don't know what she's gonna win. Daughter moving out or dog dying. This one says Brady just found out that my ex wife of seven weeks today is pregnant. And she says it's mine. We had a farewell weekend with each other two months ago. All right. That's right. Two months ago when we got divorced. I'm a disaster. She's not sure she's going to keep it. We cannot be together. I don't know what to do. You're literally only the only one I can turn to, Riley. Well, that's pathetic. If Brady's the only one you got left. Yeah.
- [146:04]
Brady
Do I even have to answer this? Then yeah, man.
- [146:10]
John Holmberg
Getting divorced, you say goodbye.
- [146:12]
Brady
First of all, it's kind of her her. It's on her whether or not on the kid. But either way she chooses, you know, I'm keeping the kid. Your link.
- [146:23]
John Holmberg
Think of that, Brett. The divorce. Yeah, that you went through and you poked her one last time. And you get a call thinking, I'm free and easy. Now seven weeks later, the lady you don't want to be with her anymore is going to be there forever. More than she ever had a chance.
- [146:41]
Brady
And even if you're not, you're still.
- [146:45]
Brett Vesely
Still paying every month.
- [146:47]
Brady
Yep.
- [146:48]
John Holmberg
You're tied to her forever now.
- [146:50]
Brady
Yeah.
- [146:50]
John Holmberg
And you had just cleared that deck. And then you go off and cream pire, you dumb mother. That's just a dumb man. Do you encourage the. She doesn't know if she wants.
- [147:03]
Brady
Take your lumps you can take.
- [147:07]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, do you encourage one way.
- [147:10]
Brady
Or the other, you can survive this no matter what.
- [147:12]
John Holmberg
No, you can. Sometimes you can't, Brady. Sometimes people. Don't.
- [147:15]
Brady
Don't give up.
- [147:16]
John Holmberg
Don't. It's terrible advice. Giving up is better advice, actually. Do you encourage? I think. I don't know. What.
- [147:28]
Brett Vesely
What do you do? There's nothing.
- [147:31]
John Holmberg
Do you get back together now?
- [147:32]
Brett Vesely
No. Do you try paying? Sometimes paying is worth it.
- [147:38]
John Holmberg
Do you try? Yeah, but. Yeah, you were. You're. You're free of it.
- [147:42]
Brady
What are you doing?
- [147:43]
John Holmberg
Oh, you idiot. Never ever freebird, raw dog, your ex.
- [147:50]
Brady
Wife, surfer Brady step up. Be a man. Whatever happens, that's his deal. I mean, that's your. Your actions.
- [147:59]
John Holmberg
Play Kate Bush. Yeah, this is something will make you want to not kill yourself off. I don't know how this song was supposed to lift people out of suicidal ideation. Oh, this is. Yeah, Peter Gabriel starts blabbing away. Yeah, no, I'm. I say you drive her around by Planned Parenthoods a lot. Just. Yeah.
- [148:23]
Brett Vesely
Amazon prime, some Sprite and graham crackers.
- [148:25]
John Holmberg
Do her house every day. Maybe she'll get the hint on the second floor. Maybe just like, put some ice down on the top step. I don't know, know. Terrible. You're an idiot.
- [148:37]
Brady
I'd fight it like Hunter Biden. Wait until it comes out.
- [148:40]
John Holmberg
Make sure it's yours. That's a good idea. All right. That's a good idea. Brady says.
- [148:44]
Brett Vesely
So you're saying she was hoeing around?
- [148:46]
John Holmberg
Oh, you have to make the accusation.
- [148:48]
Brady
Yeah, you have to.
- [148:49]
John Holmberg
To save. To save yourself a little bit. You have to. This is not going to be easy.
- [148:53]
Brady
Buy yourself a little more time.
- [148:54]
John Holmberg
Oh, man. Yeah, I. I'm 20 years removed from my divorce and can't even. Can't even grasp or imagine what it would be like to have some 20 year old, like, going to college. Now I still got to be on the phone with that thing.
- [149:15]
Brett Vesely
Oh, I remember when I got divorced, a friend of mine said, you're lucky.
- [149:20]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [149:20]
Brett Vesely
You never have to see. Well, besides that. But you never have to deal with your ex ever again in your life.
- [149:26]
John Holmberg
And she doesn't have to deal with you.
- [149:28]
Brett Vesely
Right. Exactly. No weddings, no birthday parties, no graduations.
- [149:32]
John Holmberg
Nothing. Hey, you're screwed, dude. You've. You've stumped us. There's nothing we can do. We haven't heard anything so dumb in such a long time as what you've done eight weeks ago.
- [149:40]
Brett Vesely
This show that's saying something.
- [149:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it is. Invent a time machine. That's the only option you've got. Get in the garage and get in the lab and work that. All right. There you go. That's what Brady did. And we're all kind of upset. We're worse people, Stump today. You're screwed, buddy. Buddy. It's 98 KUPD. Wow. Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness, man. Walt Bridger's got half the city losing their minds. That guy's got the ex wife pregnant. As his farewell gift to her, Ethan says, I have been held at gunpoint and it's nowhere near as frightening as the letter you read about the pregnancy scare with the ex. Good crush. My advice? Pull a Toledo's. Dad. Just bail, man. Homes are cheap in the Midwest. It's time to start over. Just run away. Running away is an option. It could be a thing for you, says John. Get the sound effects ready. Give her 500 bucks and go scramble that unwanted baby. Here's your graham crackers in your Sprite doors over there. Hopefully you have a ride. Thanks. Coming to plan Pan hood. I don't need your name. Sit down and thanks for coming. We'll see you next time. So this literally happened to me. I was dumber than f, went out and had one last dip with the ex. Well, now that failed abortion is 20. She's still alive. Nuke it, man. Trust me.
- [151:15]
Brett Vesely
Me.
- [151:17]
John Holmberg
And here's the other thing about the vegan. A lot of good suggestions from you guys. The vegan, the one that wants to change the guy into all vegan stuff. And he's like, give us something that she has to do for me. Brett suggested mouth hugs. I say, go through all of her closet and let's de hypocriteize her and say you can't have any leather. And this guy's perfect. He says, tell her you can't stand her small a cup breast. And she's a vegan broad, so you know, that's what she's got. So in the milk inside is no good. She must upgrade to artificial Ds that are good for the bedroom environment. You take meat out of the house, let's load you up. That's true. If in fact this one's for you. She's that John, what if Dua Lipa wanted to move in and you could get it whatever you wanted, but you can't have any of your pets. Bye, Dua.
- [152:12]
Brett Vesely
Oh, nice.
- [152:14]
John Holmberg
Any woman, any man, anyone that's willing to give you an ultimatum on your current lifestyle to make their lives fit yours is going to keep doing that. An ultimatum. If it's. If someone says, I want to be with you forever and then later has a conversation that says, it's either this or me, they're not going to stay. They're just going to keep manipulating you until you keep giving in and the threat of them leaving is their weapon. Let them go. It's either this or me. The dogs are me. The dogs stay. You know what the dogs never do? The dogs never look at her and go, hey, it's either her or me. I'm out of here. The dog's gonna love you no matter who you bring in the house. And she's like, no, you can't have that dog if you want to be with me. Well, then I guess I don't want to be with you and you don't want to be with me if you're going to take away things I love to make you happy. Never fall for the ultimatum ever. Ever. Now, hopefully the Suns don't bang Budenholzer on the way out the door and get him pregnant to where we're tied to them for a while, but this guaranteed money is going to be a bit quick fun. Stat on the Suns right now. They're still paying Frank Vogel last year. They're going to pay Budenholzer for a couple more years. And they would be paying Mont another two years if the Pistons didn't take over that whole contract and give him an absurd amount of money a couple years ago. So that would be paying four coaches in three years. Boy oh boy. Just reading about the sounds. It's not good. Maybe that's another one we should scramble up. That's me as the GM with the roster I bought.
- [153:49]
Brady
He's making a batter.
- [153:51]
John Holmberg
We got the for those of you just tuning in, this sound is not what you think. It's somebody scrambling eggs in the mouth of a porn star. And I won't tell you with what a whisk, A flesh whisk. But now it's our sound effect for dudes who bang their ex wife right as they're walking out the door. It's my favorite noise we have. We got an entertainment drill coming up next. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful rock music radio station. He said fully ECT. Still streaming. Homberg's Morning Sickness online@98kupd.com this day just flew by. This is insanity. It's time for us to get the hell out of here. Let's do the entertainment drill and run for it. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com the Home Tactical Black self defense training. If you want to get involved in that thing, they've got it going on right now. Two months. It's forever now. Two months. 199 bucks. That's the deal. That's how good that deal actually is. So you get on that thing, you get in there and like what do I do, John? What do I do? Well, they've got courses and classes for everybody. You can do self defense course bag course. They do cardio, they do core, they do all of that. It's an amazing array of different classes to get you in shape and and self defense classes teach you something while you're going to knife, gun, machete, stick. I can't. You think it's something Somebody can hit you with. They can think of a way to defend yourself in a proper manner. The gun stuff is a blast. Gun retention. They've got their coming up Here on the 25th, their women's self defense seminar. On top of that, they got the. The CCW classes they'll do. I just rattle it all off. It's all on their website@reactdefense.com and it's ready for you. Start becoming a better version of yourself right now. And for a price that you cannot get anywhere else. Else. This kind of training is unreal. Over 20 years just there at the house of Bruise. There are 25 years, for crying out loud. Just like us or thereabouts. They're awfully darn close. And then you got to play some Glendale. Hundreds of years of experience between the trainers. It's an amazing system. It's. It's just getting better every time I go and evolving as each day goes on. You should too. Reactdefense.com it's the home tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
- [156:10]
Brady
Mickey Rourke has been removed from the celebrity. Big Brother uk only lasted a few days. He made some ignorant comments to JoJo Siwa about her sexuality.
- [156:23]
John Holmberg
Is she in there? Yeah, she's inside the man. They got some names on there. Jojo Si was actually making some. She's actually kind of sort of relevant.
- [156:32]
Brady
He also displayed some threatening and aggressive behavior towards former Love island contestant Chris Hughes.
- [156:40]
John Holmberg
Oh, how far your life has fallen to be in the big couple of the homo F word.
- [156:46]
Brady
Yeah.
- [156:46]
John Holmberg
Oh, boy. Oh, he threw the homo F word out in the house.
- [156:49]
Brady
Yeah.
- [156:50]
John Holmberg
Oh, you got to be careful with that.
- [156:51]
Brady
And so he's apologized and said, you know, I'm 72. I'm a work in progress still.
- [156:58]
John Holmberg
When he said he's 72, he's like, that's something I say a lot. Yeah, we've been saying that for years. I'm not used to the cutoff.
- [157:05]
Brady
And then after that happened, Bella Thorne took to social media to review that working with Mickey on a movie a few years back was one of the all time worst experiences of her life. She said, this effing dude, gross.
- [157:21]
John Holmberg
He bruised her pelvis with a stick.
- [157:23]
Brady
Yeah, he was supposed to be on my knees and with my hands zip tied around my back back. He's supposed to take a metal grinder to my kneecap and instead he used it to. Used it on my genitals, through my jeans.
- [157:39]
John Holmberg
Supposed to hit her in the knees and he missed by like a foot and started a bash basher around the vagina. Wow. And she didn't say anything then I'm all for this being, like, something he should get yelled at for, but if you hit me in the vagina seven or eight times and we agreed on the moment. If I agreed on the knee, knee, and you hit me in the dick, we're gonna talk. Yeah, look, okay, I'm sorry. Give you one. Fool me twice with that move.
- [158:04]
Dick Toledo
That could even make the final cut if you do it right.
- [158:07]
John Holmberg
If I have bruises on my pelvis from an agreed upon knee shot, there's definitely gonna be a sit down with hr. That's all I'm saying. Like, if right now, Brady, I said, brady, you can kick me anywhere between here and here. And I point to my thigh and you kick me square in the nuts. I'm like, no, no, you missed. Let's try that again. And you did it again. We're going to hr. We're gonna go down to hr. I'm gonna. Susie, I told Brady was allowed to kick me here and my balls are bruised. Bruised.
- [158:29]
Brady
She also should have known. Just put the stunt PN.
- [158:35]
John Holmberg
If somebody who's a stunt.
- [158:36]
Brady
She shouldn't have done that. Leave it to the stunt.
- [158:38]
John Holmberg
Well, I don't think she thought she needed a stunt pee. There was. This was not the target. He was wildly off center.
- [158:44]
Brady
Either way, both would be yakking.
- [158:47]
John Holmberg
Well, it's not that situation.
- [158:49]
Brady
Amy Lou Wood from the White Lotus.
- [158:52]
John Holmberg
The teethy one.
- [158:53]
Brady
Yeah. Is upset. She should have. SNL parody of her was mean and unfunny.
- [159:02]
John Holmberg
It was. And it wasn't funny at all. I watched the whole thing. I'm like, it was.
- [159:05]
Brady
She also said she received apologies from SNL but didn't say from who. Yeah, I mean, if it was funny, that's one thing. It just was.
- [159:14]
John Holmberg
The concept was all right, but they just went. It's just. It was. Yeah, it was typical of Saturday Night Live, which was kind of like, oh, oh, you're taking something pop culture. You're putting the wigs on. You're putting a little magic trick on here because it looks great, but there's really no substance to this. The joke about the girl's teeth. Visually funny if you're not her.
- [159:35]
Brady
The latest on Britney Spears. She touched down in Mexico the other day for a little vacation because, you know, she was due for one.
- [159:44]
John Holmberg
Sure. She's been going through a lot at work.
- [159:48]
Brady
One of her bodyguards, pretty big dude, bald, scary looking dude. He was carrying a baby, a baby doll wrapped in a pink blanket. As they got off the plane, Brittany does have a doll collection, which is not uncommon.
- [160:04]
John Holmberg
Not surprised by that.
- [160:05]
Brady
But the fact that she has to take one with her on as she travels and it has to be carried and cared for like a real child.
- [160:13]
John Holmberg
Love on the spectrum. Girl has to do the same thing. She's got to have one of her American dolls with her at all times.
- [160:19]
Brady
Travis Kelsey says he'd like to have a word with Kanye for remarks he made about. He was tweeting again about Taylor Swift.
- [160:27]
John Holmberg
Oh, boy.
- [160:29]
Brady
Said that she had sex with Justin Bieber and Harry Styles. Taylor hit him with a cease and desist. And Travis is not real happy with this. Like, I like to have a word with him face to face.
- [160:41]
John Holmberg
That'd be interesting. That'll be a good paper interview. I'd watch the Kanye. Travis, sit down. Absolutely.
- [160:51]
Brady
Bernie Sanders made a surprise appearance at Coachella.
- [160:54]
John Holmberg
I did a couple of Billie Eilish numbers. Brady. Can you imagine that bad guy I did. I was thinking about Trump and I did bad guy. She's a bird. And I did Ocean eyes, which was a great one for her.
- [161:10]
Brady
Her.
- [161:11]
John Holmberg
And then I did a little Gaga. Oh, mama. I did a Gaga. What the hell I want to see was he doing there. And the crowd went crazy when an 80 year old man went out there. Gotta stop the oligarchy, dude. We're here for a party. Knock it off. Oligarchy. We get it. You're not on. You're nowhere on the poster. Ladies and gentlemen, for no reason whatsoever between Weezer and They're going through something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Lady Gaga. Here's here. Just bear with us. Here's Bernie Sanders. Hello, Coachella. I wanted to let everyone know that I'm here to stop the oligarchy. And I figured all you stoned out of your mind hippie staring at Ferris wheels in the neon world would be the type of audience I could talk to. Little do you know that like 80% of the Coachella audience is just loaded. All their dads are billionaires.
- [162:07]
Dick Toledo
What was the deal? Something happened. People couldn't get in for like two hours.
- [162:11]
John Holmberg
Have you gone near there? It's like, why? It's 12 hours to get into the thing. They had to wait. It's no, it's just. It's. It's a wait.
- [162:19]
Dick Toledo
You got to start going there on Thursday.
- [162:20]
John Holmberg
Yes. That's been a known. If you start driving in on Friday, you're not making it, man. That's because of the oligarchy, Richard. Their idea is to narrow our roads so only billionaires can use them. And that's average 1% people, or 99. We can't get there. Trying to drive our big thick cars down the narrow little billionaire roads.
- [162:42]
Brady
He was lobbying for a solar train to take people there to Coachella.
- [162:46]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's a good idea. I have one of these billionaires. Stop building me that solar train I've been on. I sound like I'm on acid, but I'm not. Yeah, he's an idiot. I always stand up there and his hair's whipping in the. Hey, you guys. Oh, no. Bernie's here. Just out in the crowd dancing next to the neon circus. What the hell's a Weezer? It's 10:11. Let's get out of here. And then Weezer's wife shot him. Ah, the base's wife has gone mad. How do you do that? Your wife gets into a shoot up with the police, and you're on stage two days later. It's cool.
- [163:29]
Brady
It was with the police. Or was it? Yeah, because they.
- [163:31]
Dick Toledo
They were two shooting suspects, and she's roaming around her backyard.
- [163:39]
John Holmberg
What?
- [163:39]
Dick Toledo
They're looking for someone with a gun.
- [163:41]
John Holmberg
He would have put that down.
- [163:43]
Dick Toledo
Nope.
- [163:43]
John Holmberg
Nope. I'm Weezer's bassist's wife. I can do what I want.
- [163:48]
Brett Vesely
Say it isn't so.
- [163:49]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's the first comment I saw on that story was, say it isn't so, and I about peed myself. Myself. That's it. We're done. Larry's coming up next. Easter keg. Information in tow. We'll find out more and more and more about where you guys can involve yourselves in the Easter keg. It's really just a matter of looking. That's about it. We'll do it Friday. Larry's going to tell you more about what he's got going on. That's it for us. You guys have a good Monday. We'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the Morning Sickness, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect 98.
- [164:22]
Dick Toledo
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my.
- [164:23]
John Holmberg
Friend Wayne from Amco. And, Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?
- [164:29]
Brett Vesely
No, Larry, if you have an extended.
- [164:31]
John Holmberg
Service contract, you can use it at any amco. Well, it's nice to have other options. I'll say Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles and faster service. Amco does more than just transmissions, right? Right.
- [164:41]
Brett Vesely
If you need car repairs or hear.
- [164:42]
John Holmberg
Feel, see, smell, or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first. Just Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and a whole a whole lot more.
- [164:52]
Brett Vesely
It's Brett Vesley from Homeburg's Morning Sickness and I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all look when it comes to H vac, plumbing or electrical issues, they're certified professional technicians. Deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate. Right now, Patrick Riley is a special for you guys. 1500 dollars off a new AC system install, plus up to 1100 dollars in additional rebates. They offer same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out online@patrickriillyservices.com.