04-17-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona | April 17, 2025

Hosted by John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo

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Introduction and Keg Hunt Kickoff

The April 17, 2025, episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness begins with John Holmberg welcoming listeners to a special Thursday edition. The primary focus of the show is the annual Easter Keg Hunt, an exciting event where 98 kegs are hidden throughout the East Valley, offering participants the chance to win prizes ranging from $500 to a grand prize of $5,000.

John Holmberg introduces Bret Vesely as the first Easter Bunny responsible for placing the initial keg at Action Ride Shop on Power and McDowell Road, Mesa. He enthusiastically encourages listeners to visit the shop around seven o'clock to receive their first clue and participate in the hunt.

"It's 5:45 this the morning sickness... Brett is the very first of my little Easter bunnies that'll be out today." [02:14]

Listener Interaction: Ambrose Finds a Keg

A notable moment occurs when a listener named Ambrose successfully unlocks the first keg using the clues provided. The clue, "Skip past one, sweet 16," initially confuses both the hosts and other listeners. However, Ambrose deciphers it as a reference to the Action Ride Shop’s address (2824 Power Road), leading him to unlock the keg and claim the prize.

"We've never once done that. It's never been the address... Ambrose, you've got a keg that might be worth $5,000. Congratulations." [78:33]

Main Discussion: Documentary on Transgender Surgery and Regret

The hosts delve into a heated discussion about a recent documentary that explores the experiences of individuals who have undergone gender transition surgeries and later regretted their decisions. John Holmberg shares his critical perspective, emphasizing skepticism towards the motivations behind such transitions and the potential psychological factors involved.

John Holmberg expresses his disbelief and concerns about the documentary's portrayal of transgender individuals, questioning the validity and ethical considerations of the medical processes described.

"But I think we've made it such a. If you have some questions about yourself, why not go down that road for a little bit?... People always change their minds, especially nowadays." [42:07]

Bret Vesely and Brady Bogen add to the conversation by discussing the complexities of gender identity and the societal pressures that might influence individuals' decisions. They critique the speed and financial motivations behind some medical practices related to gender transition.

"People always change their minds... I'm sure as hell not going to change mine." [42:07]

Broader Discussions: Relationships and Portrayals in Murder Shows

The show transitions into a series of banter-filled discussions about relationships, stereotypes, and insights drawn from murder-themed television shows. The hosts analyze fictional scenarios where one partner suspects the other of attempts on their life, drawing parallels to their own humorous anecdotes.

John Holmberg shares a fictional email from a listener who believes his wife is poisoning him, using it as a springboard for the hosts to explore the signs and red flags that might indicate a partner’s malicious intent.

"John, I'm pretty positive my wife is trying to kill me... it's a beautiful thing." [07:00]

The hosts humorously debate strategies for identifying and confronting such suspicious behaviors, blending fictional elements with real-life relationship advice.

Keg Hunt Progress and Upcoming Events

Following the excitement of Ambrose’s success, the hosts update listeners on the ongoing keg hunt. They reveal that a total of four kegs have been hidden near Table Mesa Road, adding to the challenge for participants.

Brett Vesely provides additional details about the hunt, describing the persistence and skill required to locate the remaining kegs.

"Is this one of Josh's $500 ones too? I was not told that." [08:59]

As the episode progresses, John Holmberg reports on the progress of the keg hunt, mentioning the imminent hiding of more kegs and encouraging listeners to stay engaged for more chances to win.

"There are 97 remaining. And let me tell you this, my buddy Drew... has hidden one of these bunnies." [35:46]

Community Engagement and Final Clues

The show maintains high listener engagement through real-time updates and interactive segments. As the hunt continues, the hosts share amusing and sometimes absurd stories related to the keg hunt and listener experiences.

John Holmberg mentions Dale Hellistray joining for the sports segment, adding another layer of interaction and entertainment to the show.

"It's time now for you to entertain us all, sir." [37:02]

Brady Bogen introduces Fahim Anwar, a guest who discusses personal topics, music preferences, and shares his own humorous take on relationships and societal norms.

Conclusion and Final Announcements

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reiterate the details of the Easter Keg Hunt redemption party scheduled at Four Peaks Tasting Room. They emphasize the excitement and community spirit surrounding the event, promising a vibrant gathering where winners will be announced.

John Holmberg concludes with a reminder for listeners to participate in the keg hunt and attend the redemption party, ensuring them that the festivities are just beginning and encouraging everyone to stay tuned for future episodes.

"Tomorrow night at the Four Peaks tasting room... We'll see you guys tomorrow, all you keg hunters, all you winners." [87:00]

Notable Quotes

• "Nobody should fire the general manager because the general manager has to come in and attract free agents and hire a coach..." [177:24]
• "If you think you're about to be murdered by the person you live with, you probably are." [68:07]
• "Don't judge a book by its cover. You're supposed to judge it by its cover." [27:09]

Final Thoughts

The April 17th episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends entertainment with community engagement through the Easter Keg Hunt. The hosts provide a mix of humor, critical discussions, and interactive segments, keeping listeners engaged and involved. From successfully finding kegs to dissecting complex social issues, the show offers a comprehensive and entertaining experience for its Arizona audience.

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For more information and to listen to the full episode, visit 98kupd.com.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

Still.

[John Holmberg]

Streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday Very special. The Easter Bunny's getting loose. It's warming up in the pen. It's 5:45 this the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. And Brett is the very first of my little Easter bunnies that'll be out today. And just short order here, you're gonna head on out to Action Ride shop this morning. Be there about seven o' clock. The one up on power and McDowell, the new one. Beautiful, beautiful. Go check this place out. Great. People are gonna leave with a bike today. You're not going in there and not leaving with something. So many great things inside. Plus you're so close to the trail. Just hop off and ride over. Buy a bike and ride right on over. Right there home. Yeah, but. Or maybe right off and have a keg on your. In your car worth five grand. Bread will have the very first Easter keg for Easter keg, the hunt that is going on tomorrow morning. Brett is the very first one. He's got it all locked up, ready to go for today. Somebody asked me yesterday, how many years have you guys done this? And I'm like, we gotta be 20. I don't know when we started this.

[Brett]

That's what my guess was saying the.

[John Holmberg]

Book of 100%, they do a lot of annual thing, but then they skip the year we didn't do it. Oh, yeah. Because 20, 20, we didn't do it. And then. Yeah, it's just. I don't know. Did we did it in 21? Yeah, we did. We did. Yeah. We came back mavericks and everybody was masked. Oh, that's right. Also, I had Covid. Didn't know it yet. My doctor told me it was allergies. And I took allergy pills. I did not test positive once. Went to the. That's right, in 20, 21. I was so sick. And I'm like, it's just this. Allergies are killing me. And then two days later, I tested positive for Covid. It was terrifying. But that was when everybody was kind of like, we were all done with it. By Zen year earlier, I'd have been lit on fire in the desert saying, ah, we got to get rid of him. He's patient zero. Year later, I'm like, I'm dying. Like, test negative.

[Brady]

I can't breathe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're fine. Nobody cares anymore. And that's what it was. Oh, yeah, that's right. We did it in 21. Sorry about that. To anybody. I. I pushed that on, but. Or I'm not. Made it a super spreader. Haven't heard from you since. But at the time I didn't have Covid because the test said I didn't. So that's how it used to work. Kids remember when that was the way it was back in the days of COVID back in my day. Stuff that thing in your nose like. No, I'm fine. I just feel like crap.

[Brett]

Secret meetings to go get tested.

[John Holmberg]

Tons. Joel's ridiculous. Anyway, we're ready to go this year. No, no massive fear based pandemic gonna get us. Or just go out to Mavericks and get spit on and shake hands with dirty people the old fashioned way and walk away with some sort of head cold. Perfect. It's a beautiful thing. But we're ready to go with this thing. And today Brett's got his clues. We talked about him yesterday. You got your stuff ready to go?

[Brady]

Yeah, sure.

[John Holmberg]

You have your code ready to go? Well, we had clues. We had clues yesterday. They were pretty good ones. They were bad. And I think, you know, subject to change. Subject to change for sure. Nothing is in cement. And you know, before he leaves, we will discuss those clues. But at seven o' clock he'll give you clues on how to unlock the bike chain that is tied to the keg. That could be worth $5,000. Also could be worth nothing. Is this one of Josh's $500 ones too? I was not told that. I don't know any of this. So we'll find out all that later. Our old buddy Drew used to work here at my part of the Black Jeep Club and the White Jeep Club when we had our, our jeeps, we would take the white jeeps way out into the desert together and big boy pants on. That's right. Oddly enough, I stumbled across some of some pictures of the very first time I went out off roading with Drew yesterday morning. And just looking, I'm like, God, that was 11 years ago. It kind of blew my mind. And then haven't spoken to him forever. He texts me holding the keg. He's out and about on a trail somewhere out there with his Nice. Did it again. So Drew's like had to get back in on this and hide one of these bad bo. He stuffed it out into the the off road in areas that we've occasioned. I don't know this because I didn't ask most of the time for all you off road people, that keg is hidden in the, I guess the Terminator and the Schwarzenegger trails that are out there off the Table Mesa Road, out in Table Mesa area. And he does a good job of hiding. I got the picture of it. I don't know where it is now. He's also gone to Sunflower, so I don't think he went that far this year. And is it Box Canyon or. I don't know which mine one he goes. He goes to a lot of them. But off road people, you'll know that that one, I think is already out there. So if you've got today or tomorrow, you can do it. I've talked to several people who have taken the day off again tomorrow if they didn't already have the day to take. So good luck to all of you. I'm proud of you for even getting involved. Be safe, be easy. First one's out the door this morning at Action ride shop on McDowell and Power. And for those of you going, what the hell is going on? We hide 98 kegs throughout the valley on Good Friday, two days prior to Easter. You guys hunt those kegs, bring them to our party at Four Peaks tomorrow at the tasting room. Tomorrow night might rain a little bit for the tasting room times, which is great. Get a little mist. And then there we sit, and we wait for all the kegs to get redeemed. We have that just random number drawing. You get a number when you. When you bring your keg back, we give you a ticket. And then we just get a mini keg. Yeah, you get a little baby keg, and then we give you that ticket. All 98 people who get a keg, bring back, they get a ticket. Then we reach into the bowl, find out which one's worth five grand. It's pretty awesome because everybody who has a keg has a chance. There isn't one special keg. We find out literally when my hand comes out of that jar and says, here's the winning keg, and I read off the usually six numbers and watch people fall off one number at a time.

[Brett]

And 10 more worth 500.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got the Action Ride Shop keg, so It'll be worth 500 each. So you can walk out with 5500 bucks for one keg. If you hit. If you bump it twice, that's pretty great. Has anybody done that yet? Yeah. Has it been a double? I think it was a double doink two years ago, something like that, maybe two. I don't remember, but they got 500. And actually, it wasn't the same keg. They were a double kegs. They found a couple which I always. Oh, that lady I met at the Suns game at the Rah Rah room the other night. Joel and her and her friend John. And she said, I have hunted the entire time. I've never found one. And I'm like, man, it's a couple.

[Brett]

I went, it was 10, 10 years. And they go, I always take the day off. We love it no matter what.

[John Holmberg]

It seems like you'd stumble into one, doesn't it?

[Brett]

Well, and, and they all. Well, the ones that I've heard are always saying, we get there and we see the person coming out with it.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody else has it. They're. They're a step.

[Brett]

They're that close.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's it. So we're ready to go?

[Brady]

Almost.

[John Holmberg]

Almost here. 24 hours. So Brett will have it out there. We'll kick it off this morning. Can't wait. But again, kick it off or otherwise you could win today. You could win if the desert, you know, if you want to take your razor out there, there's two. Technically there's one out there right now. So we can say it officially starts tomorrow. But if you're out in the desert dicking around and you're all three, you might stumble across one today. Nobody says, you know, read the rules. We don't care about this. I know the Bob's will be upset. Can't do this. The lawyers. Isn't that dangerous for someone to go outside and breathe earth's air? What if they got some sort of carcinogen from a power line that you drove under and you put a keg by? Do we think about these things? I think I speak for everybody. Lawyer Bob's from our company, but shut the up. We're having fun. Do you ever consider people picking one of those kegs up and their arms just falling off and us getting sued?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No one's ever considered that but you. Because you're the wettest blanket of all time. So go yourself and move on. The Bob's have tried to ruin this.

[Brett]

And it hasn't happened in a while. But if you're trying to turn in a fake keg, you're gonna need a placard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You try to design something that way.

[John Holmberg]

No one's ever gotten away with it. We changed you. Learn what the placard looks like. That now if you found one, you could probably replicate the placard. But we know nobody's done a good job of, of trying to dupe us.

[Brett]

And you gotta have Both.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah. You can't come in with a placard.

[John Holmberg]

You can't just have a. The placard and no keg and. Yeah, we. We've got that figured. I want to say, last year, they actually had stamps on there. They were notarized, like the notary stamp on there. So got a little. Yeah, we got a little extras. We do every time. But you can't. You can figure it out, but you'd have to find one. It's already. You've already hunted for one. Just take the one you got. Quit being a dick. Again, going back to yesterday's topic. Quit being a dick. You get it. If you try to get away with one, I'm more than proud of you. But if you. You know, if you don't get away with it, don't be a dick. Don't start screaming. I want to talk. I never want to. I want to see a manager. No, you're not seeing a manager. We'll send you the Bob's, the lawyers. They bore you to tears, but that's it. I didn't know this Haley Joel Osment was arrested for skiing drunk. You can't ski drunk.

[Brett]

Well, he. I heard he went into the bar at the ski lodge.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And. But yeah, you. They. They can kick you off the hill.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. If you're belligerent. You kicked out doing anything.

[Brett]

That's what was happening, I guess. Behavior.

[John Holmberg]

He was just.

[Brett]

And then they found another controlled substance that they're testing.

[John Holmberg]

That's after. Yeah, But I mean, they kind of made it clear, like, you can't. If he was on the slopes drunk, we got him, and we got him out of there. And you can get a. You can get in trouble for that. And not just kicked off. You can get in trouble for that.

[Brett]

Because this. This weekend or this past weekend and the weekend before, I think we're the last weekends of ski places, and traditionally, the last weekend is a complete party. They close it up. Yeah. And they. They put costumes on. Go down the hill.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They go crazy. And I had. I had seen yesterday that they said that Haley Joel Osment was identified as an unruly skier.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then they go out and they're like. They don't just kick you off for being an unruly skier. If you're drunk, it's like drunk driving. You're getting. You're getting.

[Brett]

You can get a deal.

[John Holmberg]

You get arrested. He got arrested. And that's. Yeah, I didn't know that. And that's why they found. They found the substances on them is because he was going to jail for being an unruly. I thought you'd just. Being an. You know, you get kicked off the slopes, you're banned from Mammoth.

[Brett]

You know, they also said why he, you know, he's acting that way is because he lost everything, has a fire and he was. And evidently the house that he lost the insurance he got denied on it.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. He's dead broke or something?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And he's skiing in Mammoth Lakes. I don't believe that. I don't think you go. I don't think you hit the resort skiing on the last, last day of party time.

[Brett]

I would have said on the last part. Oh yeah. What he's been going through.

[John Holmberg]

He may be going through some stuff, but more importantly, I don't care about him as much as I. I didn't know you can't get drunk and ski without running the risk of going to jail for it. And I know he's. I guess it is kind of a dangerous thing. They didn't consider it.

[Brett]

Like think about it how dangerous it is. Oh sure.

[John Holmberg]

But I think of all the dangerous things you do when you're drunk. There's everything you do drunk is dangerous. Yeah. Big broads at 2am that's what I was gonna say. Think of the ladies that you've climbed. Like you think skiing down the Mammoth. The word mammoth gets involved in drunk a lot. I thought the same thing. It's man, oh man. That if that should be illegal. Texting. Oh, drunk should be illegal if we're gonna go down that road. But yeah. So you know, it's not like he's controlling a motor vehicle. But skis are evidently gotta not do that. I didn't know that's the only reason I'd want to go skiing. I'm not up there for the sport of it all. I want to go have a party drink. We. I don't know. Just doesn't like mountain biking.

[Brett]

This is the.

[John Holmberg]

That's how you're operating a vehicle. It's kind of stupid on your own, but the only person you're really going to hurt there is you. Yeah. So go nuts.

[Brett]

And this is second time he's been.

[John Holmberg]

Popped for skiing drunk.

[Brett]

No, the first one was in his car. 2006.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's not him getting. That's different. Those are two wildly different things to me. You're drinking and driving is totally necessary to be against the law. Drinking and skiing. It's like saying you can't drink in Vegas. The whole point. I. I've never met anybody that said, all right, no drinking. We're going ski, and everybody lock it down. Right. The whole reason you go skiing is for the party. They have that lodge filled with drinking.

[Brett]

Yeah, but I think they wanted most of those people do it afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so what? Ganja. You even said the things in Canada. Yeah, they have. They ride the ganja. They're smoking. Smoking. Weedle. Skiing.

[Brett]

They call them sports sticks.

[John Holmberg]

It's snow surfing. You're. You're high or drunk doing it. That's the fun part. That's what Katie KV Calls them, too. Yeah. Sports sticks. Sports sticks. It's hard to say. It not sound like they like to suck a sports stick. KDKB guys like to suck sports sticks. Yeah. I can't say it makes sense. I make it sound like it's not pot. But all we're saying is they smoke weed. A man at KDKB was in the parking lot sucking hard on a sports stick. Yeah, it sounds dirty every time. Our cop buddy said he was probably refused to leave, and so they probably arrested him for trespassing or disorderly. We got public intoxication and, like, behavior was bad. Yeah, he probably was being a dick. But they, you know, they. Evidently, it's frowned upon. And I'm like, that's like football game saying you're too drunk at a football game. It's like all you do is advertise beer. Here. This is your fault.

[Brett]

Sources noted that he was among the many who lost everything in the Eaton fire.

[John Holmberg]

So they went up and had a big ski party because they have no homes or because they're off some steam. Their Sixth Sense house got burned down. Better call M. Night Shyamalima Ding Dong and get a remake. Yeah, I still see dead people.

[Brady]

Look at him now.

[John Holmberg]

He looks like a TV lawyer. I'm convinced that Haley Joel Osment and Kelly Clarkson are the same person. Wow. I'm nearly. I believe they are the same. I never see them together. And he loses weight, Kelly loses weight. He gains weight, Kelly gains weight. They're almost always about the same size. It's a thing. And their face, all it is is a beard difference. You put a big wig on him, you got yourself a Kelly Clarkson.

[Brett]

Maybe it's like a Woody Harrelson, Matthew McConaughey. The same.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but they don't have to hide it. I don't know why these two are hiding it. That's Haley Joel Osment and makeup you're pulling from picture. It's the same person. Same little beady Eyes. Look, they're all. They're the same size. Always the same size. I still think Elijah Wood and Katy Perry are the same person. That's Kelly Clarkson. I'm onto something here. And Kelly's gone through an awful lot lately. I could see her, you know, hopping up that mountain and putting a few down, trying to ski back down. Yeah. I don't get it, but. Yeah, I didn't know. I know you can be. I know you can be drunk and skiing, but if you get caught, I didn't know you'd go to jail. That's what this Dilling guy says. The only reason you go to the mountain. We pretend we enjoy the sport, but really you just want to get really high and drunk in the. Yeah. And it's fun. I've never met someone who likes skiing, who's a fun person who goes up there and tries to stay sober.

[Brett]

You have to be doing something, I would think, to. To be caught. Fact of the matter is, how many people are right back drinking. So you have to be doing something stupid.

[John Holmberg]

You have to go so far out of your way. Like, I didn't know if, like, Liam Neeson's wife smashed into that tree. They didn't do a toxicology report and say she was drunk skiing. Right.

[Brett]

Sonny Bono.

[John Holmberg]

Sonny Bono probably had a couple in him. Sonny smoked weed. Anyway, he sees dead people now in the trees. It's very odd. She's a dead career. I just got a text. My buddy Doug, not Hopkins, who Sundays, I ski four times a year, every year, and I am never less than hammered on the hill. You have to be. It's the. After a couple of trips, you're like, all right, this is boring. Unless we do something special. First time I went skiing, very first time I went skiing, I broke both my ankles snowboarding. And I got drunk on the way. We did. Like, we were probably right around the Sedona exit when I started to feel pretty loose. Got up to Flagstaff, hopped on. I'd never gone before. I'm on the bunny hill with, like, six kids, and I'm like, I can do this. And my buddy Joe tells me the only way to learn this is to get to the hardest one and fall down the whole time. You'll figure it out. And he wasn't wrong. And I got down there. It took me about an hour and a half because I was just face planting the entire time down the. The diamond, the bad one. It was. It was steep, it was a little scary, and I just smashed myself in the face. I probably Pissed everyone off. But I was drunk, too. That didn't help. And then I got to the bottom. I'm like, yeah, I went back up to the top, buried the snowboard into the snow and rolled and the board didn't. My ankles went click, click. Lost them both. Then we laughed. I drove home with two busted ankles. Could barely move my foot. I don't know. Yeah, we sobered up in that lodge thing or whatever that is up there, and just kind of sober lodge. Two gigantic puffy ankles. I'm like, we can go. I'm good. We're good. That's what skiing is anyway. The whole reason the lodge stays open. You ever met a skier that seems like I've never met. Yeah, I've never. Or that, you know, has weed on them. There isn't one person I've ever met that skis that doesn't look like the dude. And if they don't, I don't want to hang out with them because then they're those corporate weirdos that takes their whole family up there and wrecks it for everyone. I want to take the kids up and go skiing. Oh, oh, the whole family's up there. How Mormon of you. I did watch something awesome. Yeah. Nobody wants to see that little kid skiing and better than you. And they're. I watched a show yesterday about a lady who. Oh, wait, she's a lady. She was a lady. So when she was. She was living the life. She felt like she was a. It's like she always felt. Wait, was she a man? She was a woman, but always felt like she was attracted to women, but didn't think she was a lesbian and couldn't figure out what was going on in their brain. So she heard a few years ago, like, this trans thing started to appeal to her. She's like, I think that's me. I think that's what. So she gets into it. She does the whole thing. Gets her boobs cut off, has a hysterectomy, goes the full nine. Right into being a woman. Right. Whole deal. And then. Or right into being a man. Being a man. It's very confusing. So as a man starts to realize, nah, about five years in, nah, this ain't right either. I'm not as. I'm not this either. So it goes back to the doctor and the doctor's like, well, a lot of the times. So evidently there's this like seven year rule. I've heard this before. This, that after people have the surgery, seven years later, there's massive regrets and big time problems. In this community. And they have, like, a huge suicide rate after the. This is me making this up. This is something I saw last night. And I got the article in front of me because I looked her up, too. After about six, seven years, they're like, eh, I'm not gonna do this anymore. And they go. And she said, the biggest thing I had was I got this hysterectomy. But I realized that it was because of a lot of childhood rape that I never really dealt with that caused me to, like, holy cow, we didn't start the documentary there. You made me sit for 45 minutes watching you go back and forth. Oh, I'm a man. I'm a woman. I'm a man. And actually doing surgeries to do it. And then at the end, you're like, I probably should have dealt with all that childhood rape and stuff. Like, yeah. And that one doctor on the show was responsible enough to say, here's dumbass John in the middle of the afternoon looking at the tv, going, I'm the smartest one in this documentary. And I'm just watching it. You didn't ask her at first. Like, before we do all this, you don't have any trauma or anything we need to get rid of before we start lopping off your genitals. Don't worry about it. Just, you know, start carving me up. And they tried to make it, like, touching. And then I looked at the date 2022, right in Hida, when nobody asked questions and nobody did anything smart. Like, that's the good thing about today. Like, right now. If they made that documentary, it would have been about, wow, who dropped the ball here? Like, this person should have had this done. And then they started to have, like, pictures of other people who had been through the same thing at the end of the deal. And I'm like, you pricks didn't ask one question. You just started cutting. And I'm like, this is a better world now. And it goes back to what I was talking about the other day. Judge immediately. Doctors, your job is to look at somebody that says, I want all my genitals cut off, and think, all right, my first. My first reaction here is, you've gone crazy.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna say you've gone crazy until you prove you have not. That's the new medical standard. You can't walk in and get empathy anymore. When you want to cut your genitals off or carve out your insides because you got feelings, we'll deal with that. But first, and Foremost, let's just. Let's just assume you've gone crazy, and then we'll pull back from there. Because going crazy is sometimes what it was. But then I'm supposed to feel bad at the end, and I'm like, man, these doctors are getting away with it because they just take thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars from people and never say, yeah, I want to be a lady. You got it. You got it. Lay down. I can make that happen. The easiest way to do that is to lob this dick and balls off and just kind of, you know, butter knife in. A little paper cut here. Hey, I'm all done. Thanks. As a woman, so the big thing was, was, like, for a little bit, I thought this whole thing was going to be about life as a woman and life as a man. And that was her struggle because she says, as a woman, she was blown away. And this was what I kind of beamed with pride at. Blown away at, like, when there was a problem, all these other women were there for her. And it seemed to make the problem worse because you'd never dealt with it. You talked about it the whole time, and I'm like, finally, what it takes for a woman to understand how to be logical and rational is to be a man for a little bit. It. And so when she said I was a man, people just looked at me and said, you got problems, solve them. Because there was nobody there. There was no support system. It was up to you. You had to go out and be. You know, the pressure to just be like, hey, everybody's got problems. Get your ass up, get to work, and get through this was the male. The woman had a problem. It was like, let's go sit down. Let's talk this out. Let's make this molehill a mountain. And she goes. And it was. It was actually very nice. I liked it. Women supported me and everything else, but when I was a man, I just had to go from A to B, no matter what I was going through. I'm like, yeah, that's right. She said, and I had gone so far into my transition that I didn't have a male support system or a female support system. I didn't have anybody. And then she revealed that she was a pin cushion for, like, her uncles and stuff for years. And like, well, there's your issue. Yeah, but I liked it because basically, two years ago, this documentary gets made, and everybody's like, oh, what a poor thing. And then now it gets made and everybody looks and goes, well, you were crazy. You're supposed to be told you're crazy before you cut your balls off. And that's logic. So in a way, I felt like we've made progress by saying, oh, you're insane first. And that is the job of all of us. Judge a book by its cover initially, and then maybe you read the book and find out, ah, the cover's wrong. Judge first, ask questions later. I've never understood that phrase, don't judge a book by its cover. Do you know much money is invested in cover artwork for books? To make you like to find the book appealing, you're supposed to judge it by its cover. The COVID is the sell. It's like saying, don't judge a movie by its poster. If the poster has some stuff on it, you're like, what's this? It's the first impression. So of course you're supposed to judge a book by its cover. Let's do that with the CDs. Back in the day too, of course. Journey. A lot of terrible ones I bought. Wow, look at this. The reason I didn't like Journey is because of that weird, stupid artwork they put on the front. I'm like, these guys are full of themselves. And then I'm like, man, their music's really good. I judged them by the COVID of their albums, and I still think that's sloppy and weird. But the music kind of, you know, was wrong.

[Brett]

That's why it works both ways.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brett]

The cover's very appealing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the point. Yeah, but supposed to draw your eye and either appeal to you or make green jello. Remember that mess? Oh, like, these guys suck. It was exactly what they were. Some random fever dream of a guy who can draw a little bit. Splashed it all over. I'm like, no. And then you listen to the record goes, this cover couldn't have been more dead accurate. Of course you're supposed to judge a book by its cover. That's what the cover's for. Otherwise they wouldn't make them. There's the green jello one. I remember looking at that. I'm like, I'm not owning this. Yeah, that one song, it kind of started to pop. And I remember, you know, you'd make your Tuesday three little pics. Yeah. You make your Tuesday trip over to Tower to see what's out, and that was there. And I'm like, eh, I wonder if the rest of this is any good. And I picked up the cd, that's the first one. Like, yuck. Yeah, it's just. It's the, you know, What? It's the artwork of the dude that sat next to you in social studies. That was nuts. And he'd had. His whole folder was covered in the. And you're like, jesus Christ, this guy's a serial killer. Look at my Trapper Keeper, bro. Right? It just. Yeah, we have a motorcycle leaping a pig in a trough of. And I'm like, oh, God, you're in one of those. But yeah, of course, you're supposed to judge a book by its cover. And if it's crazy, if the cover's crazy, anticipate that inside that book's gonna be some crazy. And that's the same as people. And I love it. I wanna redo that whole documentary 2025 style and basically say, this is what we'd have done now. And she comes in. I felt like I was a man, then I was a woman, then I was a man. I was like, okay, cuckoo. You went nuts, right? So did you deal with anything being nuts after I cut my dick and balls off? I. Yep, double nuts. You like the sports stick, don't you? Damn it, you guys. It was. It was interesting though.

[Brett]

Sometimes people are. I mean, like when you're thinking that way of what. What happened. Like you said she was treated like a pin cushion. Relatives.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

When you think that way sometimes or that crosses your mind how to. About a person.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You're like, oh, how, How. How dare you.

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean say that?

[Brett]

Like wondering, well, what happened? What. What is making to ask them why they're crazy?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Because that's something they got to deal with.

[Brett]

It's not asking, you know, just trying to dig and find that out.

[John Holmberg]

You can't find out why someone's crazy if they're not admitting they're crazy because they're hiding that. That's the job of the doctor with the knife before he cuts your balls off to say, before I do this, I got a couple questions. And then you kind of find out. And by the way, she's still crazy because the thing that fixed it was God. Like, she. She found religion and stuff. She said, now I know God created me. Created me beautiful. Like, you tried to change all that twice. Like you. You took a GTO and you put like nova parts on it and like a door from a.

[Brett]

Turn it into a Pinto.

[John Holmberg]

And then you put a. Like a weird hatchback from an SR5. And then you're like, this isn't right. I'm like, yeah, that's not right. It was. It was fine before. I don't know. I'M gonna put it all back together. No, you can't. God will let me do it. It's God's car. It's his. Like, you've made a mess of things, and now it's God's fault. Don't blame God for this. I'm not. I'm an atheist. And I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm on God's side here. He did. Look, he built that car. You can't take it back to Ford now.

[Brett]

I'm an F150. I want to go back to being a Miata, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You can't go back to God and go, hey, your creation that I screwed. I messed. I need you to help out. Nah, that's another thing, Brady. Your God needs to be more of a Nagai. Nah, I'm done with you. I want him to be more like Brett. I'm done with you. I gave you a perfectly good vagina and penis or whatever the hell you used to have. And then. And then I allowed you to carve it off once, two times. Fool me once. I'm done here. I'm done here. This is my friend Mephistopheles. You're dealing with this guy now. You'll see him in the basement office. It's ridiculous, but it was a great documentary. Especially when I looked at the date at the end, and I'm like, oh, man, were we on a weird path three years ago. So strange, you know? And I hope she's all right now, but it took getting rid of all that trauma to make sure she was okay. Quit cutting your dick off.

[Brett]

My sister has a friend, and their kid did the transition, chopping it all off. And that similar deal, the five years.

[John Holmberg]

Or whatever, starting to switch back once.

[Brett]

Wants to reverse it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not saying it isn't real. I believe very. Yeah, wholeheartedly, it's very real that there are people who deal with. But I think we've made it such a. If you have some questions about yourself, why not go down that road for a little bit? And that used to be the road you didn't go down until it was like, only. Only serious. Like, truly serious. People started to say, I think I might be the other one. The ones that were going through it are, like, real. The ones now it's just like, ah, I'm a little uncomfortable in my own skin. Maybe I just lob my dick off like, no. And that lady's a cautionary tale. But then they started flashing pictures up like it was my fault. This is because Nobody supported them. I'm like, huh? I did my best. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I was calling you Kevin. You asked me to call you Kevin. I called you Kevin. It wasn't easy because I remembered you as Kate, but. Okay. You never asked me any questions. You were. You were confusing me more than you were confused. Trust me. When Kevin starts showing up and Kate's dresses are all gone and you want to borrow, like you're at my house watching football and you're kind of getting it, you're throwing me for a loop. I want to be Kate again. God damn it, Kevin. I just got used to this. Make up your goddamn mind. Typical broad. I'm done with you. Yeah. Boy, oh, boy, do they have a. You're still abroad at heart. Some things never change. They lobbed your cans off and gave you a wiener. And you're logical for a couple years. And then she came back. I can't make up my mind. Yeah, yeah, I know. I could have told you that when you started this journey. Yeah, I don't want to sound insensitive to it, but I could have solved that problem in about. There wouldn't have been a documentary if I was the doctor. So let's get down to the brass tacks here before I start lopping stuff off and adding things. They've been raped. Oh, my God. Why did you ask that? I'm just saying, you know, a lot of times people want to get rid of their genitals. You know, that's like moving out of a house where a crime happened. You don't want to be in. It reminds you. It reminds you too much. So every time you wipe after you pee, you remember Uncle Tony and you're trying to get rid of that thing. Is that going on?

[Brett]

Even that one time question, you know, it's probably. You ever been raped before? Nope.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, good.

[Brett]

Let's go back.

[John Holmberg]

Are you sure?

[Brett]

It takes a little.

[John Holmberg]

Even the computer says, are you sure? Ask a second question. Delete all files. Are you sure? Even the computer says, let's go down a little. Couple more routes here. Yeah, it was crazy. It was good documentary, though. I will say that. They had me reel and I didn't know where it was gonna go at the end. The last thing I expected was Jesus making a return and this person being a girl again. I didn't see that one at all. The double down. And then I'm like, where'd you get all that money? Like 70 grand each time she. She did a Jenny swap. Jenny Swaps a great band name, by the way.

[Brett]

I like it.

[John Holmberg]

Jenny Swap is a fantastic band. My friend text me yesterday. He goes, my phone just corrected to male pattern badass. And I'm like, yep, that's a thing. Call that man that Tinny Swap and male swap.

[Brett]

You'll hate it.

[John Holmberg]

But all I hear is Jenny says, yeah, no cowboy mouth. Pretty if you've been raped by cowboy. Yeah, they ruined things. Before Brett leaves to give us that final or the first clues actually, to kind of get that first keg out there, let's get a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 K U T. It's Larry McFailey. And whether you're tearing up desert trails in a Tacoma, towing your toys with a tough tundra, or exploring the roads in the all new 4Runner, your Toyota is built to go the distance. Obviously, our roads and weather can be brutal. That's why keeping your Toyota in top shape is key. Trust only genuine Toyota technicians with genuine Toyota parts. From oil changes to full checkups, your Valley Toyota dealer has got you covered. So before you hit the trail, hit the service bay, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com Summer starts here. Toyota let's Go Places.

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to.

[John Holmberg]

Let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week.

[Brady]

Get up north to Desert Ridge to.

[John Holmberg]

See comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feltface performing.

[Brady]

Just Google it and you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one.

[John Holmberg]

And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week.

[Brady]

For the complete lineups and for tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com.

[Brady]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, Katie and the Hobbs that's Miles to Nowhere with our theme song once again getting us through all the way to April already. Is that a third of the years behind us? Just a few more months to Christmas. We'll get through this again. Crazy. Tick tock. My dad and I were joking around. His sister went to go see Jimmy Dorsey. She lives in northwestern Pennsylvania. They had like an art center and this Jimmy Dorsey band came through. I. Jimmy Dorsey's just. I think he played a trombone or a trumpet or something. Way back. Big band stuff.

[Brett]

Well, or was he the brother or son?

[Brady]

There were doors.

[John Holmberg]

There were a couple. Tommy Dorsey. Jimmy Dorsey. There's a few of them, yeah. And then. So she's holding up, I think my dad texted me. He goes, look, your aunt Connie is going to see a concert tonight. It was the first concert she went to. 50 years. Or it was 75 years ago. 70 she was in 1950. She went and saw the real Jimmy Dorsey, right? So he sends a picture. My. My aunt's 90 something. My dad was the youngest of three and by like 16 years. So he sends me a picture of my aunt sitting there with her Jimmy Dorsey deal. And then the background is just a bunch of ladies in their 90s. So we start talking and I said, thanks.

[Brett]

Bust them in.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I said, thanks for the picture, dad. It looks like an archaeological dig. They feel like everybody's bones. There's like this old people like crazy. And I said, the only dates in that place are carbon. Like they're just carbon dating in that room. We sort of like, don't throw your panties on the stage. My dad and I are going back and forth. Realized. My dad realized midway through. And he texted, he goes, I shouldn't be making fun of this. I'm 75. And I'm like, they're so old, they're out of your demo. That's how old these women are. That Even you at 75 are like, those bitches are ancient. You start realizing, you know, there's a 75 year gap from your concert to now. There's my aunt. These old people zooming through. That's us, man. Here we are.

[Brett]

Passed in 1957. He died.

[John Holmberg]

He died 100 years ago. She went and saw him again. That's what I said. Hope aunt Connie doesn't lose her mind and throw her panties on the stage is gonna be like getting hit with a wet Nerf football. There's a big depends, loaded up, flying through the air.

[Brett]

So many.

[John Holmberg]

But you think about that, like, how much time's gone. We're making fun of how old this old. That man. We realized. The two of us realized, hey, we're not. Both of us have Peter Pan complexes. So we think we're like 14, making fun of nine year olds. I'm like, dad, you're. He goes, I just realized I'm 16 years younger than her. I'm right in the wheelhouse of that. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. That's how old that lady is when she's enjoying her life. And I. And my dad. I think my dad got a little upset because at the end I was like, she can enjoy it all she wants. That is the last thing I want to do is be in my 90s. Good for her if she wants to. But my God, you want to feel irrelevant? Hit 90, I think. Look around and try to adjust to this world. Good Christ. No, thanks. No, thanks.

[Brett]

If it does go that long for me, good luck. I hope it's similar Elmo.

[Dick Toledo]

My.

[Brett]

My dad seemed to take it like, well, I'm here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to ever get to that.

[Brett]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't ever want to be the one that just wakes up and goes, well, I'm. I'm attending.

[Brett]

But it wasn't quite. Didn't sound that depressing, like, okay, it's depressing.

[John Holmberg]

It's miserable. They. They wallow in their own feces on a regular basis. It's depressing. And I'm not going to look again. I'm in my judgment mode right now.

[Brett]

That was 8,788.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'll tell you right now when he turns that he's like, okay, I'm done. You don't have to worry about it. That's all I'll tell you. That's. I'm not a doctor, but I'm just saying you'll be all right if you make it to 90. They're going to be doing tests on you for.

[Brett]

It's got to be Guinness World, Right?

[John Holmberg]

It would have to be just, no way. No way. You're living your life. You're enjoying things. I don't want to see you at 90. It's just going to be a catastrophe. Catastrophe. When they start taking foods away and stuff. Stuff. Because there ain't no way you're getting to 90 without that. Without a doctor saying, all right, you got to kill all red sauce. You can't have any more protein. You're not allowed to. Oh, why would you.

[Brett]

Talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Why would you want to keep going? No more red meats. Your body can't process them anymore. Like, you're just gonna look at them go, well, where's the button I push to die? Because that's the first thing they start doing to make your life less. I start taking some food away. Gotta start eating this stuff. Drinking insure all.

[Brett]

Here's your kelp.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're gonna eat this soup because you can't chew anymore. You've done your damage. No way. But, man, it's just cruising by. Start recognizing age and stuff. Aunt Connie's under 90s. The trans stuff. People are email like crazy. We got our. We got our regular. Our expert, our trans listener Aiden. We've talked to. We've met. That seems like has been through the process as people saving money still.

[Brett]

Right? Trying to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Trying to get the full shebang going. We talked about that documentary I watched. But all he had to do was say crazy. And you would have. You'd have saved a lot of time and a lot of effort. That's what.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

And the best thing about the documentary really was that when she was a woman and didn't feel like being a woman, transitioned to a man and recognized it's harder to. She said it, not me. Ladies don't get me, man. It's harder to be a man than it is a woman because you get so much support from other women when you're a woman. When you're a man, it's expected to wear that shell of like, get through it, you know, no drama. Don't bring dry. You're a. You get. Dudes don't like it when you're a dramatic guy and you start wandering around with your problems. I just need to talk to someone. We'll do it, but we don't like it if it happens more than once. Women love it. That's why Postinos was invented and was so successful is that's where they go to complain all the time. Dudes do it on the golf course. And the reason the way we complain is to make fun of the guy with all the problems until his problems don't seem that big. But she discovered, oh, being a man, all my dramatic mental issues are made. I have to deal with this myself. And I'm not equipped for it, I need to be a woman again. Aiden says people who want to transition, like me, need to go through therapy, see a counselor in order to receive hormone replacement therapy for a certain amount of time. Then, before any surgery, they have to live as the opposite gender for about a year. But listening to the story you just told, it's got to go on longer than that. People always change their minds, especially nowadays. But I'm sure as hell not going to change mine. Thankfully, I'm not one of the crazy ones. Trans guy Aiden, by the way, can't wait for the Easter keg hunt tomorrow. Good luck to all the ghouls. Thank you, Aiden. Yeah, and she described her transitional analysis as, like, kind of going through driving school. In the end, everybody gets a license. It's just gonna be like, yeah, we're just. We're going through the motions because you're willing to spend 50 grand on this.

[Brett]

It sounds like she was fast tracked.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I think it got to the point where it became a business. Why wouldn't you fast track it? Yeah, if you got people coming in saying, I want to spend $50,000, you're not gonna try to talk them out of it. You're gonna try to help them find their path. It's crazy. And this guy says, you know what I love about that story? Says, hey, doc, being a woman sucks. Can I have my dick back? Who's the other way? Being a woman first, then got a dick and then said, I need my woman stuff back because being a woman does, you know, it's easier. I can't imagine it crazy. This one says, even as a gay person, I'll tell you, we all got tired of bending over backwards for a tiny little group of people going through a personal struggle. Once people started walking on eggshells because they were afraid to lose their livelihoods, the. The world swung back. And don't get me wrong, I love bending over backwards. This is why I love you bigoted white straights. You guys never really change. You just protect your money. And then once it gets to the point where you're like, all right, that's enough. Your way wins out. Because oftentimes, bigotry is rooted in truth. Signed, Banks. Banks. Banks. Thanks, Banks. Yeah, that's true. It's like stereotypes. Yeah, they're there for a reason. You're just not supposed to do it all the time. But we all think of them. Everybody does it, and it makes you mad when you're the target of the stereotype and it doesn't apply to you. But everybody does it?

[Brett]

It's funny when someone experiences it first and realize, oh, that's a stereotype.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, but still, look, all my black friends stereotype us. And most of the time I have to sit back and go, yeah, that's pretty accurate.

[Brett]

True.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you've knocked that one out. I don't like mayonnaise. That's really where I throw them off. Like, I can't. I hate mayonnaise. They'll make jokes and stuff. Like, I would have you over the house, but we don't have any mayonnaise. And I'm like, perfect. I don't like mayonnaise.

[Brett]

Me. It's a match. I don't go out of my way for it. But I, I like.

[John Holmberg]

You do want mayonnaise. Like if mayonnaise is available. You're different in.

[Brett]

On a sandwich on a lot of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Like if mayonnaise is there.

[Brett]

Well, it's in a lot of stuff to begin with.

[John Holmberg]

Right. I know you're very excited about that too. But that's the thing. It's like if there's a mayonnaise thing with a knife in it, you're not skipping that. Yeah, don't, don't act like it. You just said you like mayonnaise. Why would you skip it all of a sudden?

[Brett]

Look like, like I could never take the mayonnaise on the knife and go.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I didn't say you eat the mayonnaise. That's right. See that's, that's a different stereotype that we all have. That. That was a thought. You even had that. That's only a big person thought. Normal people don't think of scooping mayonnaise out in chunks. That's. You've got a bigger problem. But yeah, if it's got a knife.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And you're making some food, you're like, I'll skip the mayonnaise. Not happening. You're gonna try to find a way to make mayonnaise apply. I find mayonnaise to be repulsive.

[Brett]

It's, it's like, like mustard and mayonnaise on a hamburger.

[John Holmberg]

No. Mayonnaise to me is mangop and loogies. It's the same consistency. And look. And God forbid you leave mayonnaise out for two seconds, it starts turning yellow.

[Brett]

There's that paranoia.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, God, paranoia.

[Brett]

It's real of the sun. No, I'm talking about like, yeah, it's real anywhere near the sun.

[John Holmberg]

And sun. Leave it out on your counter for five seconds in a well air conditioned room. Room. And it starts turning. I Know, he's.

[Dick Toledo]

He takes mayonnaise to the wash. That.

[Brett]

That never happens.

[John Holmberg]

No, there's no reason for it to sit at your house. Yeah, mayonnaise makes me sick. But, yeah, all my black friends are like, I'm gonna come over for dinner, but you don't like greens, and we don't have any mayonnaise. And I'm like, hey, you're right about the greens thing, B. I don't like mayonnaise.

[Dick Toledo]

And seriously, do you know someone that was taking spoonfuls of mail?

[John Holmberg]

No. He. He said that that's what he would do. That was what he thought I was arguing was, would you just eat it out of the jar? Nobody. He thought of it because his brain goes there. I said, if you're. If you've got your condiments, like, you're not looking at mayonnaise going, not for. Nuh. You're looking at mayonnaise. When you. White people like mayonnaise, we put it on things. It doesn't. It's gross. Slop it on just white bread. I mean, it's the whitest thing you do.

[Brett]

I don't do it in lieu of butter on a grilled cheese.

[Dick Toledo]

What?

[Brett]

They spread the mayonnaise and you grill the Brady.

[John Holmberg]

When you say people who does that, are you saying you just.

[Brett]

I've never tried it, but people swear by.

[Dick Toledo]

It's eggs and oil, isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

People swear by it. Weird conversation. I gotta tell you about something, boys. I replaced butter with mayonnaise in my grilled cheese. Go on.

[Dick Toledo]

My life is.

[John Holmberg]

Go on. I would immediately delete myself from that room if that was our conversation. You ever replace butter with mayonnaise? All right, my time's up here, folks. This is going a direction I don't care to go. You guys are about to bore me into tomorrow anyway. Look, he's distracted us. The point I was making wasn't about how much you love mayonnaise or anyone else. It's a stereotype that white people like it.

[Dick Toledo]

And I would expect your Aunt Connie to be doing that as she's watching Jimmy Dorsey.

[John Holmberg]

She eats, man. She's as white as they come. I guarantee you she's got a mayonnaise thing. But, yeah, it's a stereotype. Stereotypes, like. Like bank said, bigot, bigotry. A lot of the time, stereotypes rooted in truth. And I throw that curveball out there with the mayo, messes it up. But I see why you say it, why he loves that mayonnaise. Then I got this email. This is great stuff, especially for me and my absolute addiction to murder shows. And I watched a gem yesterday. Couple of them actually says, hey, Holmberg, I'm pretty positive my wife is trying to kill me. Oh, you've got me.

[Brett]

You've got in.

[John Holmberg]

You have got me. Last couple of Saturdays, she made me breakfast. She's never done it before. After I ate, I slept for 14 hours both days.

[Dick Toledo]

She's microdosing him.

[John Holmberg]

He's killing you. She left the house, according to the security camera, on those Saturdays, three times in the 14 hours I was incapacitated. She was dressed differently each time. Never woke me to say she left, just left in different clothes. I didn't know until the next day because I was so out of it. I also noticed a few razor blades in my bathroom drawer, propped blade side up against some boxes. If I reached into the drawer the wrong way, I'd slice my wrists wide open. I know I'm not doing that. Then last night. And he sent this on Wednesday, so it would have been Tuesday. Said last night she accidentally lit my shirt on fire. Pretending to be what? Pretending to be playful with a joint she was smoking. And some lotion that she had put on my arms and it got all over me. I thought the lotion was sort of liquidy. And I asked her, what is this lotion? She said, it's a new thing. And then she brought me a bottle of Clearly a different lotion, much more thick. So I looked in the bathroom and saw a different bottle of the stuff that smelled like what was on me. And it had a weird liquid in it like isopropyl alcohol. I tested it in the bathtub and it went up like a Roman candle. I'm scared to death of her right now, but I don't have any real evidence. Her last husband left her because he claimed she abused him. But she's 531 12, so everybody just calls him A. But I'm starting to think the guy might have been onto something. I'm just letting you know if you hear anything in the news about a guy just dying for no reason and his wife, tiny Pretty, is on the news crying and his name starts with an R. It's me.

[Dick Toledo]

When did you find out about the ex?

[John Holmberg]

Because she found out of that before you married her. It's on you. Yeah, but again, if you got a hot little spinners 5 3. And the ex is like, she's abusive. You're like, you're. Yeah, that's a man bringing. I'll tame this little filthy. You weren't enough of a Man, to keep it from pounding on you. Dude, I watch a lot of murder shows. This is A, B and C. First it's food, then usually there's like a fire in the house. I've seen so many of them where there's a small fire like. She's testing.

[Brett]

Honey, how we doing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, right. Just going.

[Brett]

How's it going?

[John Holmberg]

Are you.

[Brett]

I mean, are we.

[John Holmberg]

And when she cooks you breakfast, drop it on the floor. And if she. Look, here's. Here's the test. Test. This is a murder show test. Take it from me, I'm good at this. Drop the food on the. Do you have pets or kids? Drop the food on the floor. Make a big mess with it. And if she gets the dog away from that food, lickety split, you know, because most of the time that's like a dog owner's way of cleaning the floor or. Ah, crap, I spilled.

[Brady]

Come here.

[Dick Toledo]

I like what you're saying. Or just say to Jaden D. Brady, five second rule. You want some food?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can have some. I'll grab that. Have a tot. I don't know what she's making. Eggs, bacon, butter, bread.

[Brett]

Want some of daddy's omelette?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but if those kids. Oh, if you've got kids, offer some of it to them and watch it go. Don't eat that. She's trying to kill you. If you don't have kids, don't eat the food. Do not eat the food.

[Dick Toledo]

Or save some of it and have it tested.

[John Holmberg]

Eagle eye her ass while she's cooking.

[Dick Toledo]

Get those pinhole cameras that Pablo used to bring in all the time.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Through metaglasses. And just walk around filming everything. Here's the other thing.

[Brett]

If she makes it this Saturday, breakfast, have a friend come over.

[John Holmberg]

Just.

[Brett]

Just a beefy breakfast, basically. Like, hey, that's a same thing if you don't have kids or you have a dog. Well, yeah, because there's two ways you find out on that. You'd have to freaks out and takes away from the dog.

[John Holmberg]

It would have to be a guy like me who you've told your story exactly. You're like, dude, I need you to help me out. I think she's trying to kill me.

[Brett]

She's your beef eater.

[John Holmberg]

And then I'll come over. I'm not eating that food. But my point being, you can't tell a gu. Hey, I need you to help me find out if this is poison or not. I'm not coming over for that. So then you've got to get complicit. On this and invite a Toledo over. And he doesn't know. He's like, any guy calls me and says, you want to come over for breakfast? I think his wife's trying to kill him. And he's getting me. I'm not doing that. I'm not a. I'm not doing that. Even if I'm outside and Michael and Troy across the way, hey, we're making eggs and bacon. You want to come over? I'm like, absolutely not. No. Men don't do that. That invite me over for breakfast. That's a rape. I'm not stupid. Dud. Nobody spontaneously says, why don't you, as an individual, come to my house for breakfast? That's creepy. That's DMER stuff. And. And in order to make it happen, here's the other thing about murder shows that I have learned. You know, it's a little bit of a. She not poisoning you while she's cooking it. She did that the day before. They're methodical when they're trying to kill you. She's poisoning something the night before. And then she gets up and you can watch her cook and you can put it all together. And most of the time, she's just trying to make you sick. Like, she's not going to kill you.

[Dick Toledo]

Go through her search history.

[John Holmberg]

You got to start looking for that.

[Dick Toledo]

And just break into her iPad or.

[John Holmberg]

You don't even have to go through a search history. Go to her Google. Google and put. How do I. And if it says kill my husband. She's been. Look.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah, the. I mean, the first round, the breakfast where he slept for 14 hours.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Just sounds like she's got side action.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, look at you.

[Brett]

Well, why would she.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, he'd be probably right for 14 hours. So I can go get a booty call.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Three times.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, but that's the first time you're taking a chance because what if it doesn't knock him out for long enough?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. She knew. Yeah. Here's the other thing.

[Dick Toledo]

She tested it on somebody else.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the other thing. Yeah, her ex husband. Exactly. She tested you. I bet you go back in your brain a little bit and go, you know that Saturday prior, she made me, like, English muffins or something, and I slept for like four hours, but I just thought I was tired. She was dosing you. And then she's like, if I give him the big hit, I get 10 hours to run around and do whatever it is I'm doing. But again, male brain. 5, 3. Cute. 112 pounds, adorable girl making you breakfast and you go out for 14 hours. You think, oh, I work too hard this week. But really, if it happens twice, and then there's razor blades pointing up in your bathroom drawer that you didn't do.

[Dick Toledo]

I know there's legalities involved with this, but throw an air tag in her purse.

[John Holmberg]

Don't do that. Why?

[Dick Toledo]

So you track her, see where she's going.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a bad idea. Or like Brady said, maybe there's not. Are you trying to kill me?

[Brett]

How we doing?

[John Holmberg]

How is things? How are things on your end of marriage?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, how often do you have that state of the union talk?

[John Holmberg]

Because I'm feeling a little weird and I got some questions. Don't piss her off though. I watched a Evil Lives here yesterday and a lady met a guy. It's very similar to this, actually. It's strange. Not quite simple. There's a fire. There's always a fire. She tried to light you on fire. If you went into the bathroom afterwards rn and you found isopropyl alcohol mixed with lotion in a separate little jar and you had it in your brain to go, I wonder if this is the stuff that was on me. And the. And you, instead of rubbing it on yourself, you put it in the bathtub and lit it on fire to see the flammable potential. You know what's going on. Yeah. Your. Your brain is telling you she must be hot Dexterette there. If it's gonna be tough to rub Jergens and isopropyl alcohol on me without me going, hey, hey, hey. That kind of stings. It's gonna hit a zit or a cut or something on my arm. If she's rubbing me with that and then smoking weed over the top of it and tapping me with it until my shirt lights on fire. Because she got the. She got her special brew on me. Anyway, I'm watching this.

[Brett]

She seems so.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, trying to kill.

[Brett]

Maybe she. Maybe she's putting lotion on them all the time. Time. But if, like, you know, if Ronnie came over one time with and never.

[John Holmberg]

Done this, you do it in a second. She breaks out lotion and says, I want to try something.

[Brett]

I want to see what you.

[John Holmberg]

You've never done this first time ever in 15 years. And she starts. She starts loading up the one. Well, of course it's going to be that way. She's not stupid.

[Brett]

On your arm.

[John Holmberg]

She said, nope. That's is. Nobody does that. I'm just gonna put this patch of something on your Arm. Just hold still.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, no, he's not. At least just taking a sample and put it on, like, the back of my hand.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. But then if she's smoking weed and she's trying to tap the thing, if she comes. They're smarter than that. When they're gonna kill you, they come. That's that. That's proof. Toledo, that Lisa's not trying to kill you. She's like, give me that arm of yours and just puts it on there. She doesn't care if you die or not. She's got a. She's got. If she comes in and sexualizes something thing. I want to rub this all over you. I saw this. I'm like. And we're not even paying attention to the fact that the lotion's pretty watery. It's not really absorbent, and I stink now. I smell a little bit like alcohol. It's new. It's supposed to be sexy.

[Brett]

Cool skull and crossbones on the bottle.

[John Holmberg]

And then instead of sex, you put out a fire on your chest. She's trying to kill you. The lady yesterday met a guy, and they're always super charming. That's what sociopaths are. And he's at dinner with her, and he goes, hey, I have to tell you. And he goes. And it's pretty close to the anniversary. I'm getting back in the game. I lost my wife last year in a fire, and I got the kids out, and we were scrambling to get everybody out, and she didn't make it. Spring is in full swing now, and summer is right around the corner. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And there's no better time to hit the trails, the lakes, and those wide open desert roads in a brand new Toyota. Whether you're hauling gear to Roosevelt Lake and the powerful Toyota Tundra, navigating rocky trails in the rugged Tacoma, or exploring Sedona in The all new 4Runner, Toyota's got the muscle and comfort to match your most excellent adventures. Head to your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com today and gear up for summer in a ride that's built for the heat and the adventures. Summer starts here. Toyota, let's go places. Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Brett]

I sure do. It's M and P Guns customs. M and P Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Brett]

We can new it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live. You can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with.

[John Holmberg]

No, we have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP GunsCustoms.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And she's like, oh, my God. And he broke a picture out, and it looked like her. And he goes, it's really hard for me right now because she does look like you. I'm never going to get over this. And he's playing the car, and she's like, oh, my God, this is. This is the guy. Like, he's amazing. And she goes, I'm here for you, whatever you need from me. No pressure. I just want to be there. And he goes, I. I feel a connection with you, and I'm afraid it's because I. You remind me of her. I understand. And then plays the game beautifully. And I don't know why. Wife dies in a fire, right? Fast forward a little bit. He's got a couple step kids, one of them named Eli.

[Dick Toledo]

Her kids or his other.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. His kids come with. So she's got a couple steps she got steps on now. And this kid is no good. Like, he's trouble and. Because he was raised by a murderer and his mom's dead, right? And we don't know that yet. So Eli's there, and he likes working on cars and stuff. And he's fighting with the new stepmom that looks like his old mom but isn't. And he's like, ah, it's crazy. This house sucks and whatever. So then he comes by, they have a place to go first off, they go to bed one night, and crazy guy wakes her up and says, the barn's on fire. The barn's on fire. Uh, oh, another fire. Like, he's, oh, I can't believe this happened. Now, she checked about 20 minutes earlier where he was, and he wasn't in the house. House. She's like, there's no one in bed. He comes back in, lays down, and like, within five minutes, he's shaking me, and the barn's on fire. She goes, so I was a little suspicious as to where he was at 15, 20 minutes, what was going on? And inside of that barn was, like, a bunch of stuff from his old marriage that he lost. And he was playing emotion. But later on, it turns out there was some evidence. So Eli's There one night, the boy and they're in a fight, and he's. I'm gonna work on the car. And he takes it down to the barn that's been redone. And he gets in the car, and then the dad goes down to help him out. And they have a function to go to. So the dad leaves the kid with the car, comes back upstairs and says, eli's down in the barn doing car stuff. I'll put my suit on. We'll get out here. They put suit on. They leave. They come back, and Eli's still down in the barn. He's like, oh, that's weird. So he puts his clothes back on. She's back and thinks nothing of it. Goes back down and within. Before he could even get to the barn and back, he's pounding on the window. Call 911-Call-911. Eli's trapped under the car. Car. The truck fell on him. And she's like, oh, when the paramedics get there, they look, Eli's been under that car since they left.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And she's like, I knew right then and there that he killed Eli. And so I got suspicious. Did she leave? No. You know what her answer was?

[Dick Toledo]

I'll fix him.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna have more sex with him because he loves sex, and I'll solve this mystery myself, But I can't let on that I know something. So she tried to get empathy from the audience by being like, I was so disgusted. Daily we had sex daily, at least once a day. I'm like, wait a second here. The only way for a wife of a few years to be interested in you sexually is if she's worried you're gonna kill her. Like, this is a mixed message. Like so many guys out there watching. I haven't sex with my wife for weeks or months. If I started to threaten her life, maybe she'd come around like this lady did. She became the perfect wife under the hatchet of him gonna kill her. So then she starts taping their conversations. Huge mistake. Because she had a bad recorder, and she put it in her purse. Got him to admit he pushed the truck onto Eli because he was trying to make their marriage better. Because Eli is such problem. And all the tape recorder picked up was her asking him questions.

[Brett]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

She takes it to the police before she even listens. The cops like, what's this? I can hear you asking, but don't even sound like there's anybody on the other side. Shoot. So she's got to do it again wearing a wire from the cops. And he's on to her and he's looking at her. He goes, I feel like I'm walking into a trap. I'm like, oh, here we go. You pissed off the killer. Little fire starts again. All that. Finally she gets him to admit he killed the kid, puts him in jail. He starts to admit all the others to killed the ex wife. All that other. But all the signs were there. Like with this guy who emailed. Emailed us. You are an Evil Lives Here episode. You just haven't been filmed yet. This lady was perfect. And she used like the husband was sexual with her to show interest.

[Brett]

Sex detective.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And were you? If you. If that look, in a marriage, if you've got too much sex, she's trying to kill you. No wife does that. No wife wants sex all the time without an ulterior motive of murdering you for an insurance policy. I watch a lot of tv, John.

[Dick Toledo]

I know the answer is to always, always get. Get things tested. Test your blankets, test your food, test whatever. I wouldn't know the first thing about where to go to get that stuff tested. Who do I call?

[John Holmberg]

You're a normal person.

[Dick Toledo]

Then I gotta put that Google search in my. In my laptop.

[John Holmberg]

Alvina says, I saw the episode you're talking about. He's doing it for the insurance money. He took insurance out on the wife, took insurance out on the house, took insurance out on Eli, his son. A million dollars like he had. Insurance was popping up like crazy. And then he took one out on her and she's like, oh, boy. So she went and checked the insurance. Worth like a million three dead, worthless, alive. Except for that, you know, nightly sex romp that she was forcing herself through.

[Brett]

I kicked it down the road a little bit longer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but that's gonna, you know, pretty easy to solve that mystery if you're trying to kill your wife and she's having sex with you every day and she's all of a sudden a sex fiend. No wives do that. She's setting you up. You're being set up. Same in the other way. She's having a ton of sex with you. Playfully. Like Brady said. If Ronnie came up and started to rub lotion all over your body to kill you. No girl's doing that out of the blue. After a long period of marriage, she doesn't want to be with you. You're gross to her. Yuck. No wife looks at her husband and said, I'm gonna spark this up every day. She's keeping you numb. If you start having.

[Brett]

It'd be an amazing year, though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're gonna die. But would it? The whole time you're just looking left and right, waiting for a guillotine, and no wife suddenly becomes amorous to the point of like, wow, this is an animal. But dudes fall for that. And every murder show I watch, that's what they do. Then they kill you.

[Dick Toledo]

How about this guy, guys? An airtag will give the person a message that there is something near them after about an hour if it's not associated with their phone. It's part of my job. I install surveillance equipment for a federal law enforcement agents.

[John Holmberg]

All right, who.

[Dick Toledo]

What, you install it? Like, how busy is that job?

[John Holmberg]

That's tough, right? That tells you something about surveillance. All these people wanting to kill each other. That's why there's 40 different shows a day. And I've never. I've never seen a repeat. There's multiple networks, dedicated teams, though, right? Oh, it's shockingly similar all the time. Fires, you know, accidents that, like, have happened. And there's a test death. Almost always there's a test death, and the murderer ends up using that same thing later. All I know is if I killed my wife in a fire, I'm not making any more fires. If I got away with it, like, the last thing I'm gonna do is burn the barn down with the new wife. Because people are gonna be like, that's the second. Nobody has two fires.

[Dick Toledo]

And you've posed this question on the show before. What's the success rate on that? It can't be.

[John Holmberg]

That's the scary.

[Dick Toledo]

Everyone gets caught, right?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, there's a. There's a whole load of people. There's people right here.

[Brett]

The ones that got caught people.

[John Holmberg]

Some widowers right now, listening to My Wife died in a fire. Anyway, I'm going to turn it over to Beth for a minute.

[Brady]

This is a little.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this guy says I'm ringing that bell. Like, I'm Hector Salamanca from Tell that man to run. You're 100% right, Ryan. Dude, you're emailing a radio station to tell us that you think you're about to be murdered. You know what that means? Means you're about to be murdered. Get out. If. If you think you're about to be murdered by the person you live with, you probably are. Try this on for size. Next time she spontaneously makes you a meal, push it away and be a dingo. I'm not eating this. You can't cook. It all tastes like poison. And watch your face, man.

[Dick Toledo]

The last two years of Revelations on this show.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. I know. It's been a minute, right? Like after Covid, the first 10 years.

[Dick Toledo]

We didn't get people admitting to.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I think I pay attention to it more. I think I used to read. And I'm not bringing that up. That's. That guy's probably now. I love it. Yeah. I think I used to get admissions, but it was also phone stuff. We didn't get emails. Yeah, that phone was probably more where people are like, why do you.

[Dick Toledo]

Why are you telling us to do we get some admissions doozies. And then you used to pull it out of guests all the time, too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

All the crimes are Lavelle Crawford.

[John Holmberg]

Some of the comedians would kill. Kill.

[Dick Toledo]

Anyway, Greg Fitzsimmons.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He blew a guy in the woods to see if he liked it.

[Brett]

Found out.

[John Holmberg]

Was that Greg? Yeah, it was found out.

[Dick Toledo]

Not for me.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not gay and I know from trying. Wow. Okay. We went out into the woods. Maybe. I love it, Bobby Lee. Anyway, thanks for the email, but see.

[Brett]

And that's also if you wake up tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Ask, how we doing?

[John Holmberg]

Try my method. Have her make breakfast again. Push it away and say, you can't cook. This tastes like poison. If she reacts with like, what do you mean? Instead of just going. What a woman would do is like, you son of a bitch. But if she's like, poison. Why would you say poison? She's killing you. Right. Because a woman would really react with like an emotional response to her cooking sucks. Rather than you saying exactly what's in there. There. Every time I eat your food, I go to sleep, I'm half dead. I think you're poisoning me. And watch how she reacts to that.

[Dick Toledo]

John, I feel bad for this guy, but tell me how I quell my excitement when my friends on the Eastern seaboard watch the documentary and they play Crips from your show during it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a thing.

[Dick Toledo]

He emailed a radio show.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, it's him.

[Brett]

Him.

[John Holmberg]

If you got a guy next to you with the initials of RN Who's a little shaky and kind of has bags under his eyes from all the sleep. Oh, it's trouble. You have to. You have to use the word of the thing you think they're doing in your reaction. This. I feel like I'm being poisoned. Like, use the word poison. Honey, where's the isopropyl alcohol? I know we had some the other day. Where's it? Where is it? Is it. I have a cut on my hand. I wanna and see what she does. Because a regular woman would be mad that you didn't. That you were so rude about her making you a meal. But if you say it's poison and she goes, what do you mean poison?

[Brett]

Dude, you're funny.

[John Holmberg]

You're. No. The killer doesn't do that. Yeah, why do. Why would you think they're narcissist defensive? Yeah, why would you say that? You know I would never do that. Oh, I. Explain to me how come I sleep for 20 hours after I eat eggs from you? I don't. You work very hard. Why'd you try to light me on fire the other day? But don't get. Don't get her grumpy because what she'll do and we'll fall for it, she'll start blowing you. I can't believe you feel this way about me. All I want to be is a good wife. The next thing you know, you're getting an old fashioned over the top of your pants and suddenly your fears are quelled. And like, she wouldn't do this if she was trying to kill me. And then the next thing you know, she's spinning on you. But the whole time she's riding a scheme in her head. Head. And she's looking at you and she's thinking of something else and she's gonna. She's gonna scheme it out before you have an orgasm. She'll let you know what's really going on in that head of hers.

[Dick Toledo]

John, with all these reveals on your show in 25 years, you think a murderer has ever actually written into the.

[John Holmberg]

Show in 25 years? 100%.

[Dick Toledo]

At least one.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe not to admit anything, but to.

[John Holmberg]

This is a good one. Says when she cooks, pass it to her and tell her to eat it. You know what the funny thing is? I remember an evil lives here where the lady was cooking food for the guy and one of the people said, you know, on the thing, I tried to get her to eat it, but suddenly she's like, no, I'm like, she. She would only cook things she. He knew she didn't like. Like, you know, ham and stuff. She didn't like meat. So she'd make him like these meats like you couldn't get her to taste. She's like, I'm not gonna eat. Eat that. I don't eat that. I don't eat meat. That's just you. But I do it for you. Everything's for you, John.

[Dick Toledo]

I was once at a customer's house, really nice house in Fountain Hills, who definitely killed her Husband, Old lady with this new young guy. I was there to replace a ceiling fan and she said, wow, you dismembered that fan really fast.

[John Holmberg]

Who says that? Don't look in the walls because that's where the other one is. That's where the husband that, you know, went to Brazil on walkabout and left her high and dry so she could emotionally find this new guy. He's on. He's in the walls.

[Dick Toledo]

You think it's too late for that guy to play Bell Biv Devo as he's eating his breakfast?

[John Holmberg]

Which one?

[Dick Toledo]

Poison.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, poison. That girl is poison.

[Brett]

That's what gets me on some of those murder shows is the guy that. His wife.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

She said three other husbands die.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, don't marry them.

[Brett]

So I'm gonna. I'm stepping up.

[John Holmberg]

And here's the crazy thing. Most of the time, this isn't always true, but most of the time, dudes react by scaring you and then flipping out and killing you. Women in the murder shows, years of planning, methodical. Oh, it's insane how it's like, okay, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do it real slow. Guys usually get methodical after the crime where they start cleaning their shoes and stuff every day. And like, all the signs are like, since mom died, you clean your shoes a lot. It's like, oh, he's trying to get all the evidence off. Yeah, great stuff. Yeah. You get a feeling that someone's trying to kill you. Usually when it's happening, your gut tells you. Because you know what I don't have right now? The feeling that anyone's trying to kill me.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I can go home.

[John Holmberg]

Risk. I can go home. I go anywhere. I can pretty much go anywhere and think. Well, no one is like actively trying to slowly murder me. I'm positive of that.

[Dick Toledo]

And maybe a local artist.

[John Holmberg]

It would be quite a surprise. Oh, I got people who would kill me. There's no question about that. There's loads of those. But they're. They're not trying actively. Currently in the process, slowly making my body Checking.

[Dick Toledo]

Making a checklist.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, yeah, thanks for the email, rn. Best of luck to you, brother.

[Brett]

Brother.

[Dick Toledo]

And if you know somebody with the initials rn, maybe lend a hand today.

[John Holmberg]

Scott Haynes just said Brady doesn't think it's weird to sleep for 12 to 14 hours after a big breakfast. Cuz you're usually exhausted from ejaculating so much. That's not breakfast. Stop it.

[Brady]

Saturday.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, if she broke out breakfast and.

[John Holmberg]

The lotion with you oh, my God. Put that away. I'm eating anyway. What are you gonna do? Brat's out. This morning at Action I. Now I'm. All I can think about is this dude, like, what's going on this morning at the house? Is she listening? What have.

[Brett]

Yeah, now that she's got the inside tips.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This guy says, well, John, now you've done it. The segment has successfully landed. You were spotting testifying in front of a grand jury in about seven months. Better still, I'll do it. Better still, I get to be one of the people. And evil lives here. Yeah, that would be awesome. Evil lives here requires the person not to get killed. Usually they solve the other murders like the one that I watched where the brother turned out to be a serial killer. Not that brother. It was an actual life. But they were brothers. But brothers, brothers. They were African American siblings, Damn it. It's hard. They were brothers. But when I said the brother that did that, it sounded like I was in the 70s. Anyway, his brother was a murderer, and they didn't know he lived at the house and stuff. And then, you know, the signs were all there. So then the brother tells the story of how this other brother. God, it's just not working. I can't say brother that often enough. Be part of fat Albert's gang. Brett's out this morning at Action Ride shop. He's at Powell Power and McKellops as we speak.

[Dick Toledo]

McDowell.

[John Holmberg]

McDowell. I'm sorry. Do it every time.

[Dick Toledo]

McDowell, right next to Bashes, McDowell and.

[John Holmberg]

Power is where the new action rides up is. Brett's out there. He's got the very first keg for the Easter keg hunt. And we're gonna do a wake up. So do you have the wake up songs all ready to go? I do. All right. The wake up songs are brought to you by our friends at Action Ride Shop, where Brett is this morning. Head on over there. In about 10 minutes, we're gonna give you guys the first clue to unlock the lock. You have it ready should he call in as yet? He's asking. All right. Yeah, let's do it. Call us up.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna wait. Well, we'll get a first clue now. We'll get Brett to clue us right now on how to unlock the bike lock that is currently chained around our keg to something at Action Ride shop up there on Power and McDowell. So areas right there. So Brett is out right now. Brett, are you there? I'm here. How are you?

[Brady]

Great.

[John Holmberg]

All right, good drive. Everything went well. Swimming smooth. You're up there. Bad. Not too bad. Idiots out there, but it's all good. There are. I saw a drunk on my way in this morning. I almost called the cops to report it, but I got here. Really? Oh, it was bad. It was like three lanes at a time. Making these. These men just leapt into an exit ramp that I happen to need. Anyway, you're out there this morning. You're out at Action Ride shop. You've got the. The lock on the keg. It is locked up. Yes. Yep. It is locked and ready to go. We've had one person try so far because everybody's waiting for the first time. So, like, I. Well, you gotta wait. All right, so the deal is you go out there, you get in line, you take your chance, you try to do the lock. If you don't get it, you go back in line.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. And you can do this as long. As long as it takes until we get this thing opened up. And you have it locked up. Do you have it locked to anything? Like a pivot shuttle or something like that? Just. Awesome bike. No, we got. Now we got Josh just sitting here as security in front of the brand new Santa Cruz and the brand new pivot bikes. You get to drool while you're looking at this. At this keg. All right, so we're going to see somebody's new bike. We need a clue. Brett, are you ready to give us clue number one? All right, here we go. Brett's first clue.

[Brady]

Clue number one. Are you ready?

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Skip past one. One. Say it again. That was my best twinkle. Oh, you did a twinkle? Okay. Yeah, I can't do it that good. So. Yes. Skip past one. Try. Try skipping while you say it. I think it'll help. Okay. Skip past one. See, I told you. I'm a director. All right, so you're saying I actually.

[Brady]

Did it too, Like a jerk.

[John Holmberg]

What a jerk. Skip. Skip past one. Yes, Skip. Is it skip now? Here's where. Is it skip past one or skip past one? Skip past one. Is it skip past a twink? What number could that possibly be? Skip past one. Yeah, exactly. All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Answering that's clue one to try to get. I can't make it too easy this early. Yeah, a four number lock is on the keg. You have to get all four numbers in a row, unlock the lock and you will get keg number one. Could be worth $5,000 in the Easter keg hunt. All right. Skip past one. So you got it down. I've been gay for a couple years now. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. Skip past one or skip past one. That's the clue. That's the clue. And I can get. Yeah. All right, all right. You're going a different direction. I don't know what you've done. I'm not going a different direction. Come on, now. No, different. I didn't. Yeah. Oh, okay. We'll try to guess along with you, but I'm. Okay. This. I have nothing.

[Brett]

Just makes me curious.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This is not what we talked about yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. It's not what we talked about yesterday. No, no, no, it's not. What. Come on. This clue of yours is brand new to me, and I'm trying to guess along with you. I don't know what's going to skip past one. Gay skip. I'm not making it easy right away. You know, I like hanging out with Josh over here. Gay skip past one. Homosexual skipping past one. What number could that be? What is that? All right. Well, I don't know, but people will if somebody comes out and tries to get it. Skip past one. All right. I got nothing. I got nothing. All right, Brad, you guys. I do want to make it easy. Although I do want to make it easy because if I get the hell out of here early enough, I can jump on the trail with Josh and go to. Oh, no, you got to come back to work. You got to finish up work. Can't. Just can't go dicking around. You're at work, man. Biden's out of office. We're all back in. We're all back working again. All right, Brett, will. Will check in with you again in a little bit. Damn it.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Talk to you. Bet. All right. See you. Skip past past one or skip past one. That's a four number clue. Well, he's messing with you. He's just screwing around. All right, get on out there. McDowell and Power at the Action Ride shop and see if you can unlock that lock. Give it a try. Throw out what you think. Who knows? We'll get another clue from Brett. If nobody gets it in about 30 minutes, we'll have him try again. What do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Dick Toledo]

All right. Brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. Go out there and see Brett try and guess the number to get the keg on the board. Lots of stuff for transitions, and it can kind of go both ways.

[John Holmberg]

Of course.

[Dick Toledo]

Getting away with murder. Papa Ro Hit the floor. Bullet for my valentine offspring. What happened to you? Show me your goblin by Necro Goblicon Wow. Rage against the Machine, Bulls on parade. Rolling, rolling, rolling. For the kegs that are going to be going out today for Limp Bizkit, Buck Cherry, Crazy bitch.

[John Holmberg]

For the murderous, I think that's a keeper. Let's go with a little of that. I haven't heard Buck Cherry in a while. Guy says, John, in the future when you're talking about African American brothers in a murder story, just tell the brother part as Hulk Hunter Hogan. That's probably it.

[Brady]

The other brother.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay. I think that probably worked. Brother went to jail. That he was the first person convicted in the United States on DNA evidence. And as he was raping and murdering people in Virginia and just his brothers were sitting at. His brothers were at home and like.

[Brett]

Was that in the 80s?

[John Holmberg]

No, early 90s. 94. He got convicted or he got executed. So it was late 80s were where the crimes were and then they had the DNA stuff kind of catch up a couple years later and they smoked them nuts. Anyway, I'm worried about our listener. R sure would like a name from you, buddy. Make sure if you do die I can watch it on TV and say, hey, but if you see a five foot three inch like Britney Zamora, hot girl crying on TV because her husband died in a weird sex fire and she's unscathed, we'll see you on the ID channel in about three years. That's for sure. It's Buck Cherry. This is for RN's wife. It's crazy. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock media station. He said fully erect. We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Brett]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible sol service and selection.

[Brett]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at m and.

[John Holmberg]

P guns.com It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughotkins.com, tV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online. Doughns.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins Singers. Call Doug Hopkins 1-800-sale- now. Ready to beat the heat, Hooters is making waves with our new sun surfin seafood deals. For a limited time, cool down with an ice cold sun cruiser starting at just $5 and dive into amazing shrimp specials Monday through Saturday. Like a dozen buffalo shrimp for only $12. Catch our sensational crab leg Sundays where you can add an extra half pound for just $9 when you order a full pack sound. We'll see you this summer at hooters. But hurry before these hot deals sail away. Hooters, more than just wings.

[Brady]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail].

[John Holmberg]

It'S the drowning pool right there. Letting the bodies hit the floor. That for some reason will always remind me of Doug Hopkins singing and dancing at the night of the singing. Dad, he. He tore it up. That was pretty impressive. But gotta see Hopkins today because he's gonna hide a couple kegs himself. Doug's got kegs going on. Everybody's getting kegs. And Hopkins, what a perfect name for Easter. The hippity hippity Hopkins. So he'll have him out there as well. We have a keg right now. People are trying to guess how to break into the lock. A four number lock is wrapped around a keg at action ride shop on Power and McDowell Road out there by Hawes trail in east valley. And it's keg number one in the east valley this morning. And the clue? Skip past one. Brett has clue number two coming your way. In just a little bit. We'll talk to him. Somewhere in the midst of the Brady report, he'll just call. We'll interrupt, as in breaking keg news or somebody gets it. But if Brett calls us, he'll have clue number two coming your way. Skip past one. So far he has said nobody's gotten it. If you want to go out there and give it a try, you can get keg1 and maybe $5,000 in your hands.

[Brett]

It's a four digit combo.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, it's four numbers. Just trying to figure out the four numbers. You'll unlock the. You'll unlock the lock and it's all on you. Easter keg Is back. We're ready to go. Oh, yeah, I got that. Is that this one? Before we move to the Brady report, says John, always get the full story and do research on a person you're dating who has a dead ex. My uncle found out one month after he married this hot spinner. We all thought she was crazy hot. Her husband fell off a ladder in their garage a few years earlier. He died. Turned out she pushed the ladder. How did he find the out? He found an old diary of hers, and all it talked about was killing him. It was years ago in Arkansas. Always assume the ex was murdered until you have evidence to the contrary. Tracy, I agree. Anybody that says I lost my wife, great. Get the story, then do the research. That's a lot. Like, I won't ever. I would never. I always give that advice. Never date a single mom mom. And single moms get mad like it's their. Like they're flawed. I'm not saying they're flawed. I'm saying you're taking on too much of somebody else's lives. You got kids involved, you got exes and everything. It's just date somebody that doesn't have that. That if you can find that first. Same thing goes for dating somebody who's got a. An ex who died. Assume they murdered them and then really be diligent about your, you know, Sherlock Holmes stuff to make sure that if they didn't kill them, you know, 100%, like, they have to do some serious convincing.

[Brett]

That's a risky one, pushing the ladder over.

[John Holmberg]

Very risky. Because he might make it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Unless it's one of those giant. It's like, you just know he's not gonna.

[Brett]

You're absolutely confident that this is gonna be the end.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Pushing ladders, falling off ladders and stuff like that. Maybe he was holding something big. Big. I don't know. I don't know the story. All I know is that he found out that she's in the hoo cuz the dude found, and she's writing in a diary.

[Brett]

She decided to write about it.

[John Holmberg]

And all it would have taken was a few questions at the first dinner. Oh, my God. How'd he die? What was he doing in that ladder? How come you were the one holding the ladder and you were there when he died? Was he dead immediately? Like, just judge the reaction of all that?

[Brett]

You had a swamp cooler in his hands.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Was he moving a massive air conditioner? You know, that is risky because you're right. That was. What if he makes it through that. But again, he can make it through that all he wants. He still doesn't think she pushed the ladder. Maybe she wasn't trying to kill him. Maybe it was just another step along the way to incapacitate him until she could kill him much easier.

[Brett]

So the ladder fell on him 30 more times.

[John Holmberg]

He fell off that ladder again. How'd he get back up up there? That's weird. You look little anyway. Yeah, I agree with that. Always get the story. The dead X. It's the Holmberg's morning sickness dead X rule. Have some empathy, but be sure that you're not walking into a trap. And now you're about to anyway. It's time for the Brady Report that's brought to you by our friends All Pro Shade Concepts there. Arizona. Arizona's best patio shades. And the heat is on the way. So you need a shady space in your yard. If you've got a patio. If you've got a space in there that you're like, you know what would be great? To be able to sit out here. But there's so much direct sun, it's miserable even when it's 70 degrees. Direct sun sucks. Get that shady shady shade up there and make sure you've got your outdoor space turned into an indoor space by the best in the business. You've got a TV on your back patio that's getting sunlight. They can make that all shaded to where you never have glare on that television again and enjoy what you pay for, which is not just the inside of your house, but the outside too. All Pro Shade concepts go to allprocheted.com Brady reported.

[Brett]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brett]

Happy National Haiku Day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. That's the 575 or 750.

[Brett]

That's the 575.

[John Holmberg]

575, yeah.

[Brett]

A couple of basis one facts. Coachella began as a top typo. The town in California was founded over a century ago and it was originally going to be called Conchia. Oh, which is a Spanish word for a small white snail shells that are found in the valley's sandy soil.

[John Holmberg]

That's some terrible typing because the N and the A are nowhere near each other.

[Brett]

Nope. The original materials. The printer misspelled Conchia.

[John Holmberg]

The printer. That's somebody who wrote it. They thought the N was an A.

[Brett]

Better not be Coachella. Rather than redo everything, they just went with it.

[John Holmberg]

Just misspelled it thinking that the end was an A. So the person writing all the documents was like, I could do this again.

[Brett]

John Wilkes Booth planned on assassinating both Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant, but General Grant, it decided not to go to the theater that night because his wife didn't like Mary Todd Lincoln.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she was evidently crazy. Even back then, Bitches couldn't get along, not even for the greater good of the union.

[Brett]

Well, that was a plot.

[John Holmberg]

You go if you want, Ulysses, but I'm not sitting next to that crazy bitch. By the way, you. He's a homosexual. I just wanted to let you know that Abraham Lincoln is not a homosexual. Sexual. You'll see. They'll make movies about it someday. The hell's a movie?

[Brett]

I wonder what they did that night instead.

[John Holmberg]

I like that Ulysses would say that. What the hell? Like you didn't even put. What the hell's a movie? I should punch you in the face. Because it's okay nowadays. I'm not sitting with her. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But how she never. Quiet woman. Anyway, I just know your friend is gay. You're gay? What are you. What? What? I don't know how to respond to these things.

[Brett]

He's always happy, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Gay is happy. I don't. That's not even a thing yet. You know what I mean. He's a. A bundle of sticks.

[Brett]

You'll see.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's a man who enjoys the company of other men. What? What? Woman. You're going to that play. The hell I am. And you can tell him too. I'm not. You got all mouthy. I'm not gonna sit up there with her all day long. No, you go alone and tell her I'm sick or something. Sorry. The wife's got a bit of the consumption.

[Brett]

There's a note from Abraham that says, let's go to the theater tonight and wrestle.

[John Holmberg]

Afterwards, we'll get rid of these ladies and maybe go back to the old white house and roll about and celebrate our victories. Can't make it. I can be honest with you. Your wife's a pill.

[Brett]

Jupiter's gravity field is so huge. Huge that it basically acts like a vacuum cleaner and sucks away things like comets, asteroids and debris that would otherwise hit and possibly destroy us.

[John Holmberg]

Well, eventually. Man, are we worried about that. Constantly worried about this thing just being destroyed. It's. It's done pretty well, you know what's going to destroy it is us worrying about destroying it and dicking around. It's. It's cooking on its own pretty good. Let's just ignore it and enjoy ourselves. Write it out. Write it out. Quit worrying about what's Going to wreck it. Quit worrying about what happens after we die and just have a good time on the ball.

[Brett]

Someone just did a little survey of passive aggressive ways to tell someone fu. Basically, like when you're driving, instead of flipping off another driver, driver, blow them a kiss.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're gonna get that one.

[Brett]

I'm like, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

The other comment is have the day you deserve.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that one. I like that.

[Dick Toledo]

I like that one. Because they were just confused enough.

[Brady]

Sort.

[Brett]

Of nice if someone's a jerk and sends a long ranting email reply with a one word answer. Noted.

[John Holmberg]

Noted.

[Dick Toledo]

We got a few people downstairs that would use that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, salespeople do it, but salespeople are buttholes.

[Brett]

A classic from the deep south is bless your heart.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that they admit is your stupid. Yeah. Oh, bless your heart.

[Brett]

The other one over the top is you've general genuinely been wondering. Wonderful.

[John Holmberg]

You say it like the rapper.

[Brett]

A McDonald's genuine, genuine.

[John Holmberg]

You have genuinely been wonderful.

[Brett]

I always take it to the southern.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you. Well, that too.

[Brett]

A McDonald's worker shell shared one. Basically, just smile at that person again. That one is like the blowing a kid kiss.

[John Holmberg]

Be a man a little bit. Give the good old fashioned you and move on with your life.

[Brett]

The Queen Elizabeth response, how amusing for you.

[John Holmberg]

You're ugly. Oh, Jesus. She's taking it to a new level.

[Brett]

The police department in Bellevue, Seattle. Bellevue, Washington and Bellevue, Washington. Sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

Yeah, okay.

[Dick Toledo]

It's across the lake.

[Brett]

Yeah. They're asking for volunteers. Gotta be 21 and over to come over there, consume some marijuana. And the officers want to practice standard field sobriety tests on them.

[Dick Toledo]

They got no shortage of.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, that's.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's happening this Saturday. They're saying bring your own stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're not gonna.

[Brett]

And they won't supply you. But bring receipts and you'll be reimbursed basically with your. What you buy.

[Dick Toledo]

Trevor, I need a receipt.

[John Holmberg]

Is it still legal? Is it illegal up there?

[Dick Toledo]

No, it's legal.

[Brett]

It's legal.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So there's some sort of trap feeling there. Bring your own weed. Bring a ton of it.

[Brett]

It'll be from 9:30am to 4:00pm and they also said it, they'll provide lunch and snacks.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they need that.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna get a whole room of Wheaties upset unless you get them munchies. Brett is on the line. Brett's called now. Brett, are you there? Yeah.

[Brett]

All right, Breaking keg news.

[John Holmberg]

Breaking keg, go ahead. I didn't want to interrupt haiku day on the Brady. Yeah. Let's go. It's coming. Oh, well, that would be a treat. Those syllables.

[Dick Toledo]

Guess what we're doing on Monday?

[John Holmberg]

Counting those out. It's tough stuff.

[Brady]

Got him out here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you think. You think your clues are riddles? All right, Brett's out at the Action ride shop at Power and McDowell this morning. The keg is locked up to a four numbered lock, and you figure out the four numbers and unlock that bike lock that is around the keg, and you are going to get that keg, and it could be worth $5,000 if it's the keg of choice. Tomorrow night at the Four Peaks tasting room, which is where we're going to do the big reveal. Of all the 98 kegs that get hunted and found tomorrow, your first clue, Brett, was skip past one. Yeah. And no one came close. I didn't help anybody out. All right. All right. Vader's up here. Must be a date or something. It's like, bro, all numbers are. All dates have numbers in them. What's wrong? Yeah, exactly. You got to figure out Brett's weird clues. All right, skip past one is clue number one. Are you ready to give us clue number two?

[Brett]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

All right. This one's easy. All right. Sweet 16. Sweet 16. So skip past one, sweet 16. Which is kind of weird because it has a one in it. That does have a one in it. Does that mean the other? Oh, Brett may have just sort of helped reveal clue one. Oh, you never know. You never know. Okay, Skip, there's one dude out here said if he gets it, he's buying three bikes, so I'm holding him to it, too. Is that right? Well, just give him what he said. Just give him the code and make Josh the happiest business owner in the world. Whispering his ear. I know that's what Josh said. Just. Just take. Here's the number. Okay. Skip past one and sweet 16. Those are your clues right now. Yes. Yep. All right, Brett, you're doing well out there. Let us know if we got a winner. Thank you. All right. Well, all right. You got it. There you go. Okay. McDowell and Power at Action Ride Shop, unlocking keg number one this glorious morning. I don't know. I don't know. All right, we'll find out.

[Brett]

Burglars to tunneled through a concrete wall in Los Angeles at a jewelry store made off with 10 million in jewelry. I saw that on watches, pendants, gold chains, and other merchandise.

[Dick Toledo]

It was like a two or three by three foot hole in the wall.

[Brett]

Concrete wall that they went through multiple layers.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that.

[Brett]

They. It happened around 9:30pm Sunday at Love Jewels on Broadway which is in downtown Los Angeles. They said they went through several layers of the wall and several members went through there and then exited the Hole.

[John Holmberg]

In the Wall gang from Las Vegas. That's what casino is sort of based on.

[Brett]

They drove off in a late model Chevy truck. That's all they have. The employees basically found out that they were knocked off the following month. Monday morning when they went into work.

[John Holmberg]

Man.

[Brett]

So they had an overnight time to inside job.

[John Holmberg]

If you ask me. You knew the schedule.

[Brett]

What's interesting.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Is it they're estimated $10 million worth. The owner says it's more like 20 million.

[John Holmberg]

Well sure. He's got to make a claim. Yeah. I would say this. I'd say it's more like 50.

[Brett]

They say Love of Jules website advertises items like 14 karat yellow gold rope chain for 1200 bucks. Heart shaped gold earrings for 200.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So they got some cheap stuff too.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's saying.

[Brett]

But they do show glass cases filled with rings and watches.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. That's crazy. Haven't heard about jewel heists going like that big in a long time.

[Brett]

Follow along in this way. A United flight from Denver to Edmonton, Canada had to make an emergency landing on set Sunday after an apparent encounter with a bunny. Shortly after the flight took off with 140, 153 passengers on board. They heard a loud bang, felt a significant vibration in the cabin and they went. There's some screaming y' all. There's a little video outside the window. There were blasts of fire coming from one of the planes engines.

[John Holmberg]

Oh no.

[Brett]

The pilgrimage pilot. The pilots got the plane down safely after roughly 75 minutes in the air.

[John Holmberg]

Yikes.

[Brett]

Passengers were a bit shaken obviously. It's not exactly clear what happened but authorities believe a rabbit either jumped or was sucked into the right engine when the plane was on the ground and it caused it to backfire during the climb.

[John Holmberg]

Wait. It was leaning up against the. It was in the engine.

[Brett]

Somehow a rabbit got up in the engine. I'm thinking that's a pretty good takeoff.

[Dick Toledo]

So it's jumping.

[Brett]

So it's on take.

[John Holmberg]

But wouldn't that happen right there at the takeoff as it was taking off?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well didn't it. 75 minutes of flying around.

[Brett]

It took a while. So it got into the engine and then it must have. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But it doesn't live in the engine.

[Brett]

For a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

There's.

[Brett]

That cleared it because only thing in general.

[John Holmberg]

So it hung on.

[Brett]

And the pilot even said, rabbit through number two. That'll do it.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody chucked that rabbit from another plane.

[Brett]

I'm thinking the same thing.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Al Qaeda's out of money and they're firing rabbits at the planes now.

[Brett]

So these rabbits are low cost. Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

But the bunnies they replicate very quickly. Quickly fire them into aircraft. Bunny. And number two.

[Brett]

Wildlife strikes are fairly common.

[John Holmberg]

Bunny zero.

[Brett]

Though the FAA says there were over 20,000 in the United States last year.

[John Holmberg]

Not bunny strikes.

[Brett]

Animal strikes.

[John Holmberg]

Bunnies still zero.

[Brett]

Most of them birds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Rabbits are rare.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

There were only four rabbit strikes last year total.

[John Holmberg]

And we're not talking about commercial rabbit. Would be a. I would say. See, you know, you get rabbit strikes somewhere on those farming planes and things like that where they're landing and hit one. Everybody assumes a strike is on the engine. Like it could hit, you know, the. It could be on the. The wheels and bounce you or something. I don't know. It's not all just getting sucked into, you know, United Airlines giant.

[Brett]

No. But somehow it had been.

[John Holmberg]

That's sucked in.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Something going on with that rabbit. We don't.

[Brett]

I also thought, oh, maybe it was. But if the plane was active, it wouldn't.

[John Holmberg]

But it's the caravan building up a nest. That rabbit's dynamite. He can leap for miles. Huge point of teeth. Yeah. I don't see that. That's. There's more to that story that we don't know. It's cute and stuff. To think that an Easter Bunny story would come up with a rabbit getting jammed into a. And everybody lives. Lived. But rabbits don't. Like nothing would survive or is strong enough to sit in the sill of the engine next to that fan sucking in all that air at 200 miles an hour on takeoff without falling into that thing and immediately blowing it up. Like the engine just doesn't go through that and then finally spit it out. There's no way. Those fans would just butcher it.

[Brett]

Vaporize.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Then turn it into a chunk of stuff that hits the stuff in the engine to shoot it out the back of the jet.

[Brett]

Well, the pilot's got a little rabbit's foot now.

[John Holmberg]

Rabbit in number four or number two or whatever he yells. He was aware of it through number two. He saw the rabbit.

[Brett]

What he said on the. To ground control.

[John Holmberg]

He threw that rabbit. Or he knew something about it. He taped that rabbit to the engine. Somebody would have seen that. Rabbits don't bounce up out of the. Where was this? This is crazy.

[Brett]

Denver. Flying To Edmonton.

[John Holmberg]

Little bunny on the Runway.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't know. I mean and that's. And he saw had a 10 foot vert to jump.

[John Holmberg]

Well I can understand it getting sucked in but the fact the pilot saw it tells me there's more to this. This isn't. This doesn't a RAB.

[Brett]

And it wasn't a small plane because there's 153 passengers on it.

[John Holmberg]

Check the pilot's wife. This is her way of getting him. Is RN the pilot Weiss on the tarmac chucking rabbits in the air as the plane takes off. That is a one in a trillion. I'd take my chances of people trying to put rabbits in the engine on the thing and still fly. We're gonna throw a rabbit at the plane when it takes off and we'll. You go crazy. Nothing's going to come of that.

[Brett]

Miller Light and Pringles has teamed up for two new flavors for this summer. Beer can chicken and Greer grilled beer brat flavored Pringles. Kind of a cool can.

[John Holmberg]

You like containers. It's got a light beer thing on it. You know how you know you're a unhealthy person if you have a light beer can on your Pringles can and then a roasted chicken or sausage.

[Brett]

You got the beer can chicken there.

[John Holmberg]

This should just be called a couple of brats on the other can trying to die young. Just call this the widowmaker of Pringles. Put a roasted chicken, a beer and then of course the Pringles logo on one can.

[Dick Toledo]

You made it this far. This is your final test.

[John Holmberg]

This is. Is it. Do you hate your high blood pressure medicine? Us too.

[Dick Toledo]

You said you've been on a salt kick lately. Oh, I love a fan of those.

[John Holmberg]

But I wouldn't do the I draw a line that it's flavored like beer can chicken. I don't mind a potato chip now and again but it doesn't have to be a full meal. Like I'm at Wonka's house.

[Dick Toledo]

What happened to just potato?

[John Holmberg]

Here comes dessert. It's just chewing one chip. Yeah, I like potato skins when they were just potato. Whatever.

[Brett]

Keg is gone.

[John Holmberg]

The keg is gone.

[Brady]

On.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody got it all.

[Brett]

Now that had to have been just a sweet 16.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, are you there? And the keg is gone. The keg is gone. How did it happen? I don't know. The dude came in here like, like strutting in and just came right up to it and just knocked it out of the park. He what? Did he know or did he just guess?

[Brett]

Is he a locksmith?

[John Holmberg]

He thought he knew. Let me put here. Yeah, let me talk to him. This is impressive.

[Brett]

Hello?

[John Holmberg]

Hello. Who's this? This is Ambrose. Ambrose, Congrats. First off, how did you do this? I had a co worker that said the code's always the delivery address. So it's not. That's never once been a thing. It's the address to Action Ride Shop. Is that what it was? Yeah. Unbelievable. We've never once done that. It's never been the address. Your coworker, your co worker gave you faulty information that turned out to be perfect. Wow. And I don't even know what is. What is the address? 2824. 2824 Power Road or. Oh, my God. Yeah. All right. Nice job. You've got a keg that might be worth $5,000 if you win five grand. What are you going to do? Probably buy a bike from Max. Go get that bike right now. And then hookers and blow with what's left over. All right, Ambrose, the phone back to Brett. I'm impressed. Well done. He took. He took information. That is not true. Amen. Brad. He says that it's. He said. My co worker says it's always the delivery address. We've never done that. Which is. No, we. That's what it's. Somebody else said the same thing and I'm like, that's never. Because last year was Dula's birthday. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Which is, I believe.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So 8, 20, something like that. Yeah. This is the first time we've done the address. And then the year before, I think it was Aaron Judge is like a home run or something. It was like we did combos. Yeah. So. So it's. What did. What was the. 26, 20 something. What? 28, 24. 28 24. So that's their address. Yeah.

[Brett]

What was the third clue?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, what was your third clue? It would have been double Kobe. Double Kobe because there's. Well, the 8 and 24. So skip, skip past 1, 2, right?

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Double Kobe is 8, 24. So I get. What's the. What's the second thing? What was the second clue?

[Brady]

Well, it would double.

[John Holmberg]

The two would be. Oh, the second one was a sweet 16 because all the numbers add up to 16. Oh, Brett, you clever bastard. You clever son of a bitch. Well, it's gone. Ambrose. Yeah, it's gone. Has the keg. Keg number one is out the door and he's gonna buy a bike from Action Ride Shop.

[Brady]

Dude. That's what he said.

[John Holmberg]

But he already ran out the door. So I don't tell you. Unbelievable. All right. Well, there you go. Well, Brett's out there right now for no reason whatsoever. See you in a minute, Brett. I'll see you guys later. Bye. Wow. How about that? The keg is gone.

[Dick Toledo]

I think it was past 9:00' clock last year.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, lasted for a while. Well, there's one now. There's 97 of them. And let me tell you this, my buddy Drew, who did the four wheel drive stuff, just sent me pictures. Pictures? It is by Table Mesa. There's kegs hidden. Four of them.

[Dick Toledo]

He put all four out.

[John Holmberg]

Just put the last one out. He's hanging out there all night long putting kegs out.

[Dick Toledo]

And bring a miner's helmet. You're gonna be up there a while.

[John Holmberg]

And he said, I'm all cut up and worn out from hiking these mountains. And I'm like, oh man. I said, how far off trailer goes? What did he say? He said there's four of them and they are all within about a 20 to 23 mile area. Well, God, kids. That narrows her down there, Drew. Thanks.

[Dick Toledo]

23 by 23 miles.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 20 to 23 mile area. So you got a little space to work with. But it's. I'm telling you right now, the four wheel drive people, they know Table Mesa. They know all the trails out there. It's scary how good they are at finding it is amazing. And they'll. That place will be crawling with razors and trails marked.

[Dick Toledo]

Are they?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

You make your own trail.

[John Holmberg]

I've been there 100 times. I couldn't find the first trail. I have to follow a guy. It's. It's crazy how I can f. I can go where we air the tires down and then I am lost after. After that little parking lot, I'm done.

[Dick Toledo]

So after you find the trail, if your buddies left, would you find your way out?

[John Holmberg]

No. Well, I mean, I got GPS and stuff, but on my own, if you just left me to walk it off. Yeah, I die.

[Dick Toledo]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

The first time I went out there, I'm like, okay, cool. Where there's no trail, there's just mountains. Yeah, that's where we start.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I remember pulling up, the first thing you see is like a wall, a rock of a wall. Brace it. Next to me, he's like, where do you go? And then you just go and you climb the.

[Dick Toledo]

We're on a wall trip almost.

[John Holmberg]

No, he didn't go to that. Would he go to that one he did go to? No, the trip Has a heavy foot trip. Nearly killed himself a thousand times. Popping wheels.

[Fahim Anwar]

Great video, though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's good stuff to watch it and he's loving it, so how about that? There it goes. The keg is gone. That's amazing. Thanks to action ride shop this morning for helping us out. Josh and the gang, always awesome.

[Dick Toledo]

So sorry to all the construction crews who just lost a bunch of guys that are leaving in their four wheelers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna get a few guys that. Later. Dude. Early morning flu hits them and they're going to go out to table Mesa. Four of them sitting out there this morning. But that's all right. 97 of them are available starting tomorrow. 4 of them sitting out early. If you want to go start the early bird hunting. Crazy. All right, Brady, give us.

[Brett]

I've got two quick braided videos. First one's a little conveyor belt accident.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, guys, the surveillance camera at a warehouse.

[Brett]

Hot dogging around. Watch this foot.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's on the conveyor belt. The other guy's on it. Oh, his foot stuck in the conveyor belt. His buddy jumps down.

[Brett]

See it? The shoe went.

[John Holmberg]

It's deep in it, right?

[Brett]

It took the middle of the shooting.

[John Holmberg]

What are they doing? An okay go video. And then. Oh, he tries to. Oh, he tries. I see there's two belts meeting. So you're supposed to take a. His legs. Oh, my.

[Dick Toledo]

Because they're both going towards each other, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

One guy jumps over it. The other guys. Oh, let's see what happens there.

[John Holmberg]

Let's see if you try to ride over the bump. And it sucked him in and busted his legs in half. Wow.

[Brett]

So if you're Amazon prime.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's gonna be a little late today. If you've got some Nikes from Stockx, they'll probably be a day or so late.

[Brett]

Last one is really quick. It's a wedding reception, okay. One of the bride. Bride's maids disappears.

[John Holmberg]

We're at the table, begin to pass out. We got a little dance going.

[Brett]

Then my head.

[John Holmberg]

Down goes the biggest one because they, you know, they're. The speeches are going on too long and the chicken has not been delivered.

[Brett]

Then my head hit the wall.

[John Holmberg]

She's big. That's a big lady. Wow. You know what happened? The chair gave way.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry.

[Brett]

Brett is missing this head.

[John Holmberg]

I can.

[Brady]

What a beast.

[John Holmberg]

And then it's pretty much covered her. Those weird wicker wedding chairs that they put the bridal party in. You gotta fortify a couple of those. Get some weight. Broad. What do you get for being a pig? We'll cover Brett's parts. You can't sit in those. Those wicker chairs. I've seen a few of those, you know, makeshift wedding things that everybody thinks it's their special day, but they just reuse the furniture. Yeah, some of those big bridesmaids are putting those through the earth.

[Dick Toledo]

Unfortunately, Brett put me on chains, so I have two Brett videos.

[John Holmberg]

All right, this one's weird. This looks like a gorilla. Oh, no, it's a bear eating a man's face. Oh, my God. Oh, it's a bear in a zoo. And there's a guy in this cage. I've seen this. And he just starts pulling the face off. And he's peeling it off.

[Brett]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

All right, stop. Make that stop. There's. Oh, my God.

[Dick Toledo]

There's still 45 seconds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've seen that one. And I remember there's a certain part where he starts pulling on the guy's head.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Don't get in the cages with the animals. Brady will tell you. Throw a pumpkin to an animal that doesn't eat pumpkins and be about your way. Even Brady doesn't get in there with them. He just feeds them things they don't normally get. Hippopotamus loves the pumpkin. All right, whatever. Just keep moving. Don't get in there with it.

[Dick Toledo]

Here's the last one. The title of the video is making a splash.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's a. We're looking at about a 15 story building. Here comes a body.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wow.

[Brett]

Oh, like a water balloon.

[John Holmberg]

A beautiful building, too. In the crowd. New York City.

[Dick Toledo]

That cop that. New York. Yeah. Seen that.

[John Holmberg]

Watch the m. Oh, yeah, that's. Wow. Jumpers. Yeah. All right, big city living immediately.

[Dick Toledo]

Take me off that.

[Brett]

It's a nice building.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. It did look like a good place. And now there's a vacancy. And it's hard to get apartments in there.

[Dick Toledo]

It's rent control, Right.

[John Holmberg]

One of the friends just leapt out of a window. You can go get there. Hopefully it's one of the girls, because the boys are apartment stunk. Those friends are dropping like flies. There you go. The keg is gone, right? Unbelievable. There goes your Brady Report. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98.

[Brady]

Hey, Byron.

[John Holmberg]

I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Brett]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, Clothing decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Brett]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP. Guns.com Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years. Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, DeWalt and more. They also specialize in tool repair including hydraulics like Burndy and commercial electric contractor.

[Brady]

Tools as well as having a state.

[John Holmberg]

Of the art on site glove testing facility.

[Brady]

Visit Fisher Tools in store or [e-mail].

[John Holmberg]

And use promo code KUPD for 10 off your order. Fisher Tools brands you know, service you trust.

[Brady]

Still streaming Hombre's movie morning sickness [e-mail].

[John Holmberg]

We've already got our first keg found. There are 97 remaining. There are a couple laying around out there by Table Mesa right now. In fact, there's four of them as our off road Easter bunnies have done their work a little early. Thanks, Drew. Pretty sweet. And what do you do when you find a keg? Well, all the directions are right there on it. We've got a placard on there that tells you what what to do. You call it in, you make it work. Somebody just emailed, said, how do we know when those kegs out by Table Mace have been found? You'll know tomorrow. Right now it's unofficial, so the line isn't even open yet. It'll open tomorrow morning. So you make those phone calls when you find the keg and say, hey, I found it and claim it. And then you bring it over to Four Peaks at the Wilson tasting room tomorrow, which is on Wilson street right there, close to the Four Peaks. Cross the street a little bit and the Four Peaks tasting room, we got that going on. Tomorrow's gonna be a blast. All the people redeeming their kegs will be there. The post keg hunting party at the tasting room is going to happen when somebody's going to walk out with $5,000 and we're going to have a band out there called Return to Dust. Look them up. Grand prize winner will be announced at about 8 o' clock, so you got to get there on time. Return to dust, I believe is slashes kit. You're going to be out there hanging out with us, doing their thing. It's pretty cool. So we'll see you guys tomorrow, all you keg hunters, all you winners. We have a big party out there, so hunt all the way morning. And meet us over there at the tasting room at Four peaks at about 6 tomorrow. Should be great. Easy peasy. I'm getting emails about people whose. Whose wives tried to kill them. They stood earlier this morning, guys coming out of the wood, and I'm telling you, like, it's not just wives, it's any spouse that's over amorous, out of the blue, all of a sudden loves you. Yeah. All of a sudden you're getting sex you've never had before. Or somebody is just, you know, somebody who's never really been that way has given you something and sometimes they reveal it right there on the spot like they're giving you. They've weakened you. It's kryptonite. It's poison ivy. And this guy said, man, you couldn't be more right about that. My wife, who didn't want sex all of a sudden starts banging me nightly for about a year. She wasn't trying to kill me, but she was weakening me because she was her boss and her were going at it. Turns out she was just a horrible skank using sex to keep me quiet. It's true of men too. When they're up to no good, they try to numb you with the idea that you know it's true. All people doing that.

[Dick Toledo]

I like that term. Over amorous.

[John Holmberg]

Over amorous. It's got to be a better word from that. But yeah, all of a sudden, that spouse of yours, that was kind of dead weight. They just want sex all the time. Oh, boy. That's a red flag. It's different to come around and then start, you know, lightly liking it here and there. Boy, if it's a combination constant and it wasn't ever before, or it stopped and then started again out of nowhere.

[Dick Toledo]

What did you find all of a sudden?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What happened here? I just always wanted to be with you. Oh, boy. She's trying to kill me. Be careful. Yikes. It's scary. Fahim. Anwar. I say it that way because I know someone named Fahim and they. They make you say the H like that. It's probably just Fahimano, but I can't help it. Fahim, Anwar is here. Stand up. Live. Yeah.

[Brett]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Stand up. Live. This week and we'll talk to Fahim next. It's 98. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. It is time now for you to entertain us all, sir.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to take the next 28 minutes. I'm going to take it. Yeah. Fahim Anwar is here. Stand up live tonight and tonight only. Why no weekend? Why don't you want to be here? What's wrong with Darcy?

[Fahim Anwar]

No, just give him a taste.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, give them a little taste.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. You can't do the whole.

[John Holmberg]

Just the tip.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, yeah. I give you like a little pinky. Put it in year ago.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you went into my mouth afterwards.

[Fahim Anwar]

I just want Phoenix.

[Brett]

Wait a minute.

[Fahim Anwar]

I want Phoenix to just test me.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. You're going to pinky and put it in my mouth?

[Fahim Anwar]

That's a Friday full service. That's like gas at Portland. You don't get out of your car. I do it for you, man.

[John Holmberg]

Standuplive.com. if you want to see Fahim tonight, this is it. Your chance to see him and that'll be it. And you're only here tonight, which is great. And Thursday, nobody does anything. We got to have something to do.

[Fahim Anwar]

This pregaming for the weekend, Just get it started early.

[John Holmberg]

We had a. I. I watched a ton of murder shows and we had a guy email this morning that said he thinks his wife is trying to. To kill him. And he's. He's. He. She cooks for him and he goes.

[Brett]

And he's right.

[John Holmberg]

And he's right.

[Fahim Anwar]

A year later.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's what I said. So it's like. So it's been on my mind the whole time. Do you think anyone has ever tried to kill you? Do you think you're that important? That's the thing. I think that makes us all. No, that's my problem.

[Fahim Anwar]

Flattering.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Once someone tries to kill me, that's kind of cool. Or once there's like gay rumors, you're like, oh, I'm pretty big in Hollywood.

[John Holmberg]

You've made it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we have. Like, because I. I don't think I have enough self confidence to assume that I'm important enough to murder and get out of the way. Like, you just go past me, right there's. I'm like, I'm not in anyone's way.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, I wouldn't. You.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, of course you wouldn't.

[Fahim Anwar]

Maybe not yet.

[John Holmberg]

Not yet, but yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

The two of us strive for.

[Brett]

But that's what I'm gonna piss you off about. These people that do it, though. I mean, you know, a lot of times it's after the insurance money.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, it's money.

[Brett]

And it's not like it's, you know, oh, he had a $500,000 policy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I just.

[Brett]

How long is that gonna last? But they still do it.

[John Holmberg]

But you're not thinking about that. You're thinking, I want that cash now. It's just such a thing. So this guy's got his wife cooking for him, and he goes asleep for like 14 hours after. And it started to concern him.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's a long time going into these jazzy cats. He's half cat.

[John Holmberg]

He's half cat, half man. And it's just not working out twice. So I wonder, like, maybe we should be on point with this a little more often. Like, start assuming we are good enough to be murdered. Our therapists never say that you are good enough to be murdered.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, I want that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think. I think that's a great one.

[Fahim Anwar]

I go in every relationship like, I want you to murder me. I don't want to have to ask. I want you. I want to know.

[Brett]

That way I know.

[Fahim Anwar]

No, don't go through with it.

[John Holmberg]

I want you to want.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's like the male version of being choked. Like, just not all the way. Just, please.

[John Holmberg]

Till I start tapping.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's just like your pinky. A little bit of the tip of the knife. That's all it matters.

[Fahim Anwar]

A splash of fear in my eyes and then pull back. Then take the laser away from my heart. I want a tactical girl.

[John Holmberg]

You have a very. You have a very advanced murderer. She's got lasers. Could have night vision and like Krav maga. Training to choke yourself.

[Brett]

Take the goggles off me in the eye.

[John Holmberg]

I'm impressed. Wow. And now that's an important murder. Mine would be something clumsy.

[Fahim Anwar]

Get tech involved.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if lasers are involved, I'm almost letting you do it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, that a moment. Like laser pointers. That went away, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we tired of that. We're number one in the. In the country for. And I think it's weather related for laser pointers on planes.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, that's great.

[John Holmberg]

We're number one.

[Fahim Anwar]

You're a pilot.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks.

[Fahim Anwar]

Flying into Phoenix, they go, goggle up, boys.

[John Holmberg]

Put my welding helmet on.

[Fahim Anwar]

All the pilots goggle up, guys.

[John Holmberg]

How do you. You want to die? A great question. God, that was deep meta man.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know, I go back and forth. Sometimes you think, okay, I just want to get hit by bus or something. Or something fixed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

And then I guess no one really Thinks that, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Nobody thinks I want to get you relatable.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know, we all want to be hit by a buzz, right? But not all of us are fortunate enough to step into traffic.

[John Holmberg]

Some of us can't afford that.

[Fahim Anwar]

But then part of you thinks, a cushy hospital bed, but then that could be prolonged for a while.

[John Holmberg]

That at all.

[Fahim Anwar]

But what if it's like a morphine drift? That could be nice. Then it's like a vacay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you're constantly just morphing up and then you pass out.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds nice. Maybe a hospital pain.

[John Holmberg]

But why are you there? That's the bigger questions. Like, why are you on the morphine in the first place?

[Brett]

It took you long.

[Fahim Anwar]

My body, it's finally caught up.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. All the laser play has grown my penis the lengths of, like, a thigh. And now I can. My blood doesn't work.

[Fahim Anwar]

The doctor's like, your body can't keep up with.

[John Holmberg]

I want a doctor to say that I just discovered how I want to die. I want a doctor to put his hand on my shoulder while I'm laying in that comfy bed. Your dick's too big to live.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's too big or it's implied. He just goes, it's too big.

[John Holmberg]

It's too big. It's like a wind sock. And then he just leaves the room. And you're like, wow, I'm going to die from this. I'm just smiling the whole way.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Do you have any trial drugs or anything? I'm a afraid not. Not for something this big.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing shrinky dink. Like, I can't put it in an oven for cold water.

[Fahim Anwar]

Maybe we could dunk it in. We're beyond that.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing can help get your affairs in order. It's too big. I like that. Now. That's how I want to go. But I'm way behind the curve, I can tell you that right now. No doctor's gonna look at me and go, if this keeps up.

[Fahim Anwar]

With enough training, though, I think get a jurati kid montage way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Get some weights, Tie some weights.

[Fahim Anwar]

High intensity training.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. And then a song. I need a song for the montage. It's perfect. Fahim, Anwar's at Stand Up Live tonight. What do you do with your time normally? What is a hobby of yours?

[Fahim Anwar]

What's a hobby?

[John Holmberg]

What is something that you do that people are like, oh, I want to do that with Fahim because he's so good at it.

[Fahim Anwar]

I mean, I'm pretty basic. It doesn't take a lot to make me happy. You know what I love? This isn't really a hobby, but I loved eating breakfast at a diner, chilling in a booth, having coffee, and just scouring through Spotify. Finding new music. That's a hobby to me. It is.

[John Holmberg]

That's just lazy.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's just lazy.

[John Holmberg]

Tv, movies, watching other people do.

[Brett]

What have you discovered?

[Fahim Anwar]

So what have I discovered? Every Monday and Friday. I mean, it sounds like I'm a shill for Spotify. I just like their algorithm for discovering music. So they generate a playlist every Monday and Friday and I just sift through those and I discover new tracks. And I love that.

[John Holmberg]

What kind of music have you. Do you lean on?

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm across the board, baby.

[John Holmberg]

What don't you like? Cuz mine is country. Really?

[Fahim Anwar]

Everyone says, but country's so huge now.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And it's just proof that there are too many dumb people in the country. It's. It is literally like there should be government helpers helping.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. I normally don't lean country, you know, but I mean, awful. But in certain genres.

[Brett]

I don't understand the example.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you want to hear the worst country song ever written? That was a hit. Listen to the words of this. Show me your fish.

[Fahim Anwar]

But I'm dancing, dude. What are you talking about? Am I learning? I'm a huge country fan. I just haven't given it a chance. Hands.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Show me your fish. Hold it up proud. And I'm like, oh, really?

[Fahim Anwar]

It's almost like AI generated that country.

[John Holmberg]

Song because they know hold me your fish. Yeah, you. You put a thumb in its mouth and you're like, oh. And then I realized, oh, your IQ drops as you listen. Which explains the crowd, I mean, looking and acting the way they do. Yeah, country music's terrible.

[Fahim Anwar]

There's this joke that like, cuz I have noticed like country. I read some thing that country is one of the most exploding. It's like the biggest genre right now. It's huge. Huge. And I'm like. And then hip hop is kind of on the decline and you're seeing some of these urban artists reach onto their fan base, like Beyonce's doing country, like to try to like retain some of their white fans, you know. So like Beyonce's doing country. And then I go, Kanye just leapfrogging her like, yo, here's some Nazi shoes. He's just going full tilt like, yo, enough of this half stuff. We got two. We got swastika. This is like two for 25.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going back to The.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, like, I'm really gonna retain these guys.

[John Holmberg]

He wants the polka. You're saying there's a white exodus?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, like, out of my way, Beyonce.

[Brett]

Just.

[Fahim Anwar]

We don't have time for this.

[John Holmberg]

And the one research project Kanye did was, you know what'll keep him around?

[Fahim Anwar]

He's shooting for the moon.

[John Holmberg]

White Pride. If we get on board that. Forget it. Record sales through the rules. Screw this.

[Fahim Anwar]

Fish talk.

[Brett]

You listen to.

[John Holmberg]

What do you listen to mostly, though? What's your go to?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, man. Like, if you're dancy stuff.

[John Holmberg]

So you like to dance?

[Fahim Anwar]

I like to dance. You know, it's weird.

[John Holmberg]

Alone.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. I have a weird. I was gonna say I do dance alone. Or for, like, a sketch. For comedy purposes. So it's weird. Like, I'm a pretty good dancer, but I never go clubbing. No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you don't want to be with other people.

[Fahim Anwar]

I have a private relationship with dance.

[John Holmberg]

With the dance.

[Fahim Anwar]

With the dance.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And so you do that at home, alone? Spontaneously or.

[Fahim Anwar]

Sometimes. Sometimes I'll hear a song and I'll just feel it. I just love it. And then it just makes me want. And then I'll dance, and then sometimes I will. I'll like. Like, I'm like. I'll have some good moves and I'll record it and I'll throw it on Instagram. No, there's no shame. It's freedom. It's freedom because I can judge the dance. And I'm like, there was something special here. I gotta throw this up on ig. I gotta throw this up on Ivy. But you know what's odd? It brings out certain people who you wouldn't know are into dance. Like, Rogan sometimes would likely be like, yo, he brought it up when I did his pod.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Where he seems like such an mma. I feel like he would hate that. But he was like, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

Spontaneously dances. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Joe List, another comedian. So you find out who. Who likes dance. It's weird.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody liked it. You're like, I'm gonna stop dancing because of that.

[Fahim Anwar]

No, no, no. I take it as a point of pride.

[John Holmberg]

Like, Ted Cruz didn't just fire off an I love, like, somebody. You're like, oh, he's weird. I don't know if I want to be in that camp of dancing with him. Politics aside. He just seems like a strange.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. Like, do I want to be rewarding this?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Like, there's got to be somebody. Like, if they start dancing, I'm to going to quit dancing.

[Brett]

Elon.

[John Holmberg]

But I like.

[Fahim Anwar]

I like a Duet with him. That'd be fun.

[John Holmberg]

You know, I would like to dance with Elon.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. I want to go on dancing with the stars of Elon.

[Brett]

I bet you dance.

[Brady]

You.

[John Holmberg]

You go left and then I go right.

[Fahim Anwar]

So you know feet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Supposed to be do rehearsal.

[John Holmberg]

I have not heard a good Elon impression yet. That's pretty solid.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know, I guess it's just if. If it's in your register or something. It's just so easy one day and then people on Instagram were like, oh, keep doing it.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty good. Yeah. Never stop.

[Brett]

Forget the guy's name that does the makeup. He was on the. The Hinchcliff.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, Kyle Dun again.

[Brett]

And his laugh is Elon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absurd. Yeah. The glitch in the Matrix laugh is so great. Fahim Anwar, stand up live tonight and. And are you in a relationship with anyone? I'm still worried about people getting murdered.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, no, it's very early, but yes. It's so funny. I'm hard launching on your radio. My mom.

[John Holmberg]

Is this a real thing? It just.

[Fahim Anwar]

Just started.

[John Holmberg]

How long?

[Fahim Anwar]

Like a month. Just one month.

[John Holmberg]

And what makes you say yes I am? Is she with you?

[Fahim Anwar]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. She can't hear this. So you could still lie.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yes. I don't listen. I don't let her listen to her age.

[John Holmberg]

Of course not. No, you've got a good fashion.

[Fahim Anwar]

You know. I have. You know my name is he man or some traditional in certain ways. I don't let her listen to certain things.

[John Holmberg]

The name lets me know that the power. If you're not home when I get.

[Brett]

Home and unlock then she can do.

[John Holmberg]

She can work the churn but that's about it until you get home back. Yeah. So. Yeah. So you've made it official.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, we went official last week.

[John Holmberg]

Like you talked about it and said we are now currently official.

[Fahim Anwar]

That always happens, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sometimes one person thinks it and the other one's not.

[Fahim Anwar]

But it's always great when you're on the same page.

[John Holmberg]

And why haven't you told your parents yet? Shame.

[Fahim Anwar]

Cuz it's so early and I didn't think I'd be asked this question on radio. I mean, I will.

[John Holmberg]

We're getting to know you, you know.

[Fahim Anwar]

Let's call my mom right now.

[John Holmberg]

Let's call your mother. Has she met her?

[Fahim Anwar]

Hello.

[John Holmberg]

No, mom doesn't know her. Knows about Bowder.

[Fahim Anwar]

Literally. You guys are the. You like maybe my first.

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[Brett]

That's new enough that you wouldn't turn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Months.

[Fahim Anwar]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's telling me.

[Fahim Anwar]

But you asked and I didn't want to lie. And then part of me was thinking if she heard it and I said no, then that would be bad.

[John Holmberg]

So. Yeah, that's. I thought we were official. How can we go on the road?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, that's true.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You got to get Phoenix.

[Fahim Anwar]

You're on the radio and you see you don't have a girlfriend. Like, what is this? And then you're the reason we break up.

[John Holmberg]

I bet. Hey, that's not first.

[Fahim Anwar]

That's her mo.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I do. I try to do it all.

[Brett]

That was called a couple of times. A couple comedians came in and.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, we tried to break Josh Blue up with that crazy lady he had babies with. You know, they ended up breaking. He told us that it was the biggest regret of his life, not following through. Oh, he got her on the phone, break up with her, and he. And he bailed out. And then they. And then he got her pregnant.

[Fahim Anwar]

Well, that's the opposite.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's the opposite of breaking up.

[Brett]

There's a bad break.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, there's a funny. You know, Ian Edwards, he's a great stand up comedian. Love Ian. He has a great joke where he's like, you ever miss your breakup window? He's like, every relationship you're in, there's a window where you could have done it. Like, she's done something so heinous or. And like, that's your. That's your window.

[Brett]

There's your out.

[Fahim Anwar]

And then. And then you just miss it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you're sucking this point. It's great. And that's when the murders happen. And this is why I watch so much murder tv. What's. What's your go to on television? We were talking about Black Mirror.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, yeah. Black Mirror's gray.

[John Holmberg]

It's ridiculous, isn't it, Severin?

[Fahim Anwar]

I just binged like I was late to it, but I'm all done with it.

[John Holmberg]

I can't get into that one. We were talking about the black Martin.

[Fahim Anwar]

They're too weird.

[John Holmberg]

Just. You know what? My train of thought disappears. So the first episode had to grab me better than it did because I just didn't have the patience.

[Fahim Anwar]

I just think it's so weird there's nothing else out there like it. Yeah, it is pretty remarkable whatsoever.

[John Holmberg]

I want to get back into it, but I just kind of fell behind and I'm like, that's just a big mountain to climb.

[Brett]

It's discouraging that Netflix and the other one. Sick. Say the. The shows that are coming out. You have to give it six episodes.

[John Holmberg]

No, give it.

[Fahim Anwar]

I know, I know. Or friends will be like, just give it eight.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Just give it a season.

[John Holmberg]

It grows if you don't like it by the eighth one. Look. What, Are you gonna give me my money back? I'm just. I've wasted eight of them. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's like saying, like, three's company is not really catching me.

[John Holmberg]

Just.

[Fahim Anwar]

Just watch all 30. Just watch 32.

[John Holmberg]

They're so.

[Brett]

Is the ending. Oh, the ending's horrible.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

Why am I gonna jump in 5?

[John Holmberg]

Nobody should recommend that one. Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, that's.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good person that's going all the way to the end and tells you don't.

[Fahim Anwar]

Don't bother telling you you're gonna be disappointed. Up top.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

But you liked it all the way up there until the end.

[John Holmberg]

That's. Yeah, that's just. You fall. The Black Mirror episode we were talking about before is the one where the guy goes online and people pay him to do terrible things.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What is your thing? What would you do for money? Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have a price? Because we talked about it. He would not do. I think it would be hilarious for the two of us. We've been here for 24 years. For me to sit there just with my arms crossed and just Brady standing next to me with his wang out, and I'm like, get us to a million. And I'm sucking on this thing and just because. And the only reason why not gay, not gay money is that it would drive him to talk about shame. He would never live another day normally again. I'd be fine.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah. That show would be very different after.

[John Holmberg]

That for me, people. I wouldn't stop. I would stare. I would stare happy directly into his eyes. Every second I'm in a room with him, just wanting. Just knowing. Knowing he's trying to forget. And yet I won't allow it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And. And I'm going to.

[Brett]

Isn't that special?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it would be hilarious. We all have a price, man.

[Fahim Anwar]

What would I do?

[John Holmberg]

Like, if you're down on your locker, you need money for, like, a. A. A disease drug.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And, you know, we're standing there, and it's like, all right, well, I would.

[Fahim Anwar]

Do a GoFundMe first. And. And if that didn't work, you blow brain. Blowing someone is my last resort.

[John Holmberg]

What if.

[Fahim Anwar]

What if after you blow the guy, they go. You said, no go fund me. Oh, yeah. Why did I go straight to.

[Brett]

That was the other choice. The losing a Hand.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. You lose both hands or you blow a guy.

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, my. That's tough.

[John Holmberg]

That's. That's hard work.

[Fahim Anwar]

I mean, your hands are.

[John Holmberg]

You need everything, right?

[Fahim Anwar]

But then is that insulting? The people who don't have hands, they can't turn.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter if it's insulting or not. They're stuck.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, they're stuck on a different dial right now.

[John Holmberg]

They used to say, lock it down and rip the knob off. Just have no hands, you know, wherever. Whatever you bought the car playing is. You shouldn't be driving, really.

[Fahim Anwar]

I mean, I would try to do something comedic or something where it's not. I'm. I'm not chopping off limbs, maybe, where it's just I have to smell like some guy farts in my face.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. Just a fart. You think you're going to get a million dollars?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, I'm not going to get enough money. Huh? I need to up the stage.

[John Holmberg]

He's got. He's got to go in. He's got to go full dump.

[Fahim Anwar]

I'm just doing appetizers. He needs the entree on me.

[John Holmberg]

You're just smelling the kitchen. Yeah, you need to drop.

[Fahim Anwar]

I need sizzling fajitas.

[John Holmberg]

Would you eat your own?

[Fahim Anwar]

Oh, man. What? I.

[John Holmberg]

If it was like, for sure. You get to a million, and that's all you got to do, because that's what the dude in black mirror does. He drinks his own pee to start. I love that Brad is taping. Just.

[Fahim Anwar]

He's sending this to my girlfriend now.

[John Holmberg]

Just.

[Fahim Anwar]

He's going to chop it up, be like, yeah, I guess I would eat my own.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Fahim Anwar]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[John Holmberg]

We have a button.

[Fahim Anwar]

You would eat your own fajitas.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't amazing that the topic can stay the same.

[Brady]

Just that word is over.

[Fahim Anwar]

Back to innuendo.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Fahim Anwar]

I need to get better at innuendo.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Innuendo is a lot of lost art.

[Fahim Anwar]

It's a lost art, and people who.

[John Holmberg]

Are good at it are amazing. But you have that, you know, the whole take.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, this bit. Like, because I, you know, I'm older now, and I go, there's innuendo. You don't see that anymore. Like, you would watch the Dating or Match game, whatever, and they'd be like, bachelor number two if I was. And they have to be like, well, you know, first I like, if I were a cake, how would you eat me? Well, I make sure you're moist, and then you're like, oh, you had to get away with it. There's hoops. But now you see all these videos on Instagram of just guys on 6th street and they're just accosting young girls. Like, yeah, what's your body count? How many. How many loads you did? You know, there's literally right now, there's no finessing, there's. There's no poetry whatsoever.

[Brett]

Here's some icing where to do that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Fahim Anwar]

Where you used to have to thread the needle just to say these things on TV in the 70s and 80s and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

I'll give you $100 to stick this in.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, wow, you graduated from the Cronkite school down there. Asu. Yeah. It's amazing because it just disappeared.

[Fahim Anwar]

Disappeared. When's the last time any. Anyone did innuendo? There's no reason to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then if that goes away and this becomes innuendo, what's next?

[Fahim Anwar]

What's after?

[John Holmberg]

What is. What is that's coming next? Is that just dudes who wouldn't normally do this stuff?

[Fahim Anwar]

We just go straight back to Cayman.

[John Holmberg]

Just two in the hand and one in the bush.

[Fahim Anwar]

This is evolution. Evolution's a circle.

[John Holmberg]

It's a circle. We're eventually going to go back. That's why country music's so popular. Maybe it's happening right in front of us. We're all getting dumber until we just blow. Brady. Oh, my God. It's happening. Fahim. You nailed it. I don't know how you did this, but you brought me around to your way of thinking. I'm going to blame you for this. Fahim Anwar at Stand up live tonight, 7:30. If you want to go standuplive.com. leave us with words of wisdom. Congratulations, by the way.

[Fahim Anwar]

Thank you so much.

[John Holmberg]

What's your girl's name?

[Fahim Anwar]

Thank you. Melissa.

[John Holmberg]

Melissa.

[Fahim Anwar]

What if I just blanked?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Fahim Anwar]

Look, you've had an imaginary girlfriend this whole time. That's a weird. She goes to a different radio station. Oh, like, what are you talking about?

[John Holmberg]

Leave us with words of wisdom. Fix the world in one, in one minute of your life. Change it all.

[Fahim Anwar]

Be kind.

[John Holmberg]

That's never going to happen.

[Fahim Anwar]

Be, be, try to be happy.

[John Holmberg]

You're wasting our time.

[Fahim Anwar]

You have one life. Live it. Live for you.

[John Holmberg]

You should write for those plaques at Marshalls.

[Fahim Anwar]

Is that my calling?

[John Holmberg]

Divorce? Ladies. Yeah. Dance like no one's watching.

[Fahim Anwar]

Home. Good stuff. Just little planks that you hang in the kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

You have one. Live it.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean?

[Fahim Anwar]

What does that mean?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How do you live it?

[Fahim Anwar]

I guess a lot of times you can be thinking about other people and what you should be doing.

[John Holmberg]

Do you live. Do you think about other people a lot?

[Fahim Anwar]

I used to.

[John Holmberg]

When did you quit on that?

[Fahim Anwar]

When I. When I listened to myself. I don't know, kind of when I understood these words of just kind of.

[John Holmberg]

After the second suicide. The second suicide, it's usually when I stop, I stop helping.

[Fahim Anwar]

The second bridge, you know, Know when.

[John Holmberg]

The next one jumped, I'm like, I gotta stop.

[Fahim Anwar]

I gotta stop doing bridges. I gotta do like a bathtub with blades or something. What am I?

[John Holmberg]

You think I'd learn F. Thank you. Good to meet you, man. Likewise. And come back for a full weekend. One of you.

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah, I gotta come back for a full weekend.

[John Holmberg]

That's his. Bring Melissa and bring Melissa. We'd like to meet her.

[Fahim Anwar]

We'll do that. We'll find a keg, hopefully next time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there you go. And you can keg hunt with it, baby. If you got nothing going on tomorrow, well find a keg.

[Fahim Anwar]

I cancel my flight. My answer, like, why are you still in Phoenix?

[John Holmberg]

You'll see. I'm gonna win stuff. Fahim anwar [e-mail] thank you, man. It's 98K. You graffiti Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. It's John Holberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Twenty years ago, the Core Institute began and it's a better way of caring for people. And there are a lot of people who are coping with pain in their bodies every day. The Core Institute specializes in helping the pain disappear. And I speak from experience. Here I am now living pain free and enjoying all the things I absolutely love to do. So if you're living in pain, you don't have have to anymore. The Core Institute has been here for 20 years and are going to be here for a lot longer than that. And you can stop living with pain and start saying yes to all the things you love to do. Go to the core institute.com are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? CMC is hiring immediately. At CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa, open positions include electrical engineers, automation specialists, industrial electricians and industrial mechanics. Join the next generation of steel makers and help keep our electrical operators and machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity employer. Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cyber cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu.mo. and don't just study tech. Live it. Still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] it's a disaster. Look who's here, everybody. Dale Hellistray is back in the building and ready to go once again.

[Brady]

Yeah, we got all these great topics to talk about.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, don't. Don't do that. Don't do that right away. Stop. We'll talk about this. Well, they're you. Look, your teams are no better. We'll get to you in a second, Dale. Brought to you by our friends at Prestige billiards. Prestige billiards. Az.com game room. Stuff like you can't imagine. Taken care of by a person you can't imagine. Meathead. Meathead. 98 in the promo code. Get you a discount when you go to prestige billiards. AZ.com Get a grill. And you can get a grill from them too. I'm thinking about. I gotta get that. I gotta. I gotta call Kevin and get that done.

[Brady]

Really? They have grills?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we told you that last week. Cte you don't remember this?

[Brady]

You think I remember a week ago?

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't. I know you don't.

[Brett]

No, I thought maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, we could. Dale, that's Brady, That's Brett. My name's John. It's good to see you again.

[Brady]

I thought Brett wasn't even and here.

[John Holmberg]

He left and came back. He's back. Are you gonna hunt for kegs tomorrow? You should go out and hunt.

[Brady]

Hunt for kegs?

[John Holmberg]

Hunt for a cat.

[Brady]

Does each keg have money in it or is there only one?

[John Holmberg]

Each one is a prize. 10 of them are worth 500 bucks. And then the big one is 5,000.

[Brady]

Okay. Can you tell me where the 5,000?

[John Holmberg]

Well, there isn't. We don't know. Yes. Cuz you two.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

90. No.

[Brett]

Everyone has a shot. A keg.

[John Holmberg]

You're in the it get redeemed at the party tomorrow by. We give you a ticket with a number on it. And then we draw out of the 98 that come back.

[Brady]

So you got to take the. The keg Yep. Carry it to your car.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

Then bring it into wherever your nonsense is going on.

[John Holmberg]

Six o' clock, Four Peaks, the tasting room. Yeah. And then we have, like, a party.

[Brett]

The kegs are empty.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're empty.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then everybody's having fun. You check in, you get your keg, get your name, you get your ticket, you party around 8 o' clock. I go up, I pull a draw out of a fishbowl.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Grab a number and just whittle it down to the last guy. And then somebody walks out with five grand, But. Pretty good.

[Brady]

But. But every one of them has $500.

[John Holmberg]

Not everyone. 10 have 500. The rest are like concert tickets or like a. You get a prize for finding country. No. Good Lord, no. No, no, no, no.

[Brett]

Yeah, you can get some Country Thunder. Yeah, we don't want Last weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we don't want country people looking for. Because so many of them would die or get lost in the woods or something because. Did you go to Country Thunder last week?

[Brady]

Right up your ass. That doesn't sound exciting.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about?

[Brady]

Well, you're good. You're camping out for two or three.

[John Holmberg]

Days, and you'd be the smartest guy there.

[Brady]

And you're. Now you're saying.

[John Holmberg]

So now you can't fight back. You go, oh, no, I would not. That's. There's no fighting you on that one.

[Brady]

I. I like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you would be. Without question. I can say that Dale Hell Stray would be the smartest man at Country Thunder.

[Brady]

Did you just snort like that?

[John Holmberg]

Not a tough decline. That's what I'm saying. It's Country Thunder people, for Christ's sake. What I'm saying, Brett, is this man sitting in this room right now would by far exceed the IQ of any other participant. Talk about a backhanded compliment, telling someone they're the smartest person in the world. Please compare him to Country Thunder people. Hey, the smartest person in Country Thunder. Still the smartest person in the area. Dale, would you like to. If he was smart enough, he'd defend himself.

[Brady]

No, I. I take that as a full compliment.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

And you're very welcome to hear that little girl snort over there. Yeah, whatever that was.

[John Holmberg]

It was adorable. It's adorable. You don't like going to concerts and stuff.

[Brady]

I really don't like. I went to. So we got given tickets to Leanne Morgan, comedian that we like on Netflix. My wife and I. She.

[John Holmberg]

She likes.

[Brady]

She does, but she. I. I think she's Pretty entertaining.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

But we go to celebrity theater. You ever been to celebrity?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. I love celebrity theater.

[Brett]

That's where I got married.

[John Holmberg]

Seats are too small for you.

[Brady]

And these seats, we're in the second row of the second level. I mean, it's not too. Over the stage. Somebody gave it to. No, somebody gave us the tickets, Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

Free tickets.

[Brady]

Somebody gave us tickets.

[John Holmberg]

What happened to the. Dale. Hell, I know. Where are the seats? Well, even a free one because it.

[Brady]

Was given to us for a Christmas gift. We had no choice.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

And so we get in there, right as the show's getting started, it goes dark, and we're in the middle of the row, which you don't like.

[John Holmberg]

It's not flying for. You got to be in an aisle.

[Brady]

So my wife and I, we, we. We. We figure a way in. Brooke just walks in. I'm spinning around.

[Brett]

So she's been. She sat down. And a half hour later, you got.

[Brady]

About 10 minutes later, I got. Got there and then I go to sit down and I literally get to a 45 degree angle and my knees are jammed against the seat ahead of me. They're very tight, and I. And. And the lady next to me, like, you can put your knees over towards me. So I try to put them over towards her. I go about 40 degree angle.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're down.

[Brady]

I couldn't get down.

[John Holmberg]

Did you get out?

[Brett]

It's one of my favorite theaters.

[John Holmberg]

We're leaving?

[Brady]

No, we went sat in the handicap. Handicap section. I could pass for that too. You know what I'm saying, Johnny?

[John Holmberg]

Not the smartest guy in the handicap section, but definitely the most deserving, I would think. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Did your wife gladly join you in the handicap section? She didn't sit in it. She's human size, so she's very human. Yeah, she's a normal person.

[Brady]

Yeah, she put on about two. £2 since we got married, 37 years ago.

[John Holmberg]

£2. Yeah, she's got. She got to straighten that up. That's too much.

[Brady]

We don't want this thing to get out of control.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's a full two up.

[Brady]

That.

[John Holmberg]

Is that there. The arrow is going down, Dale. Yeah. You got to keep her in line. Have you ever worried that she's like you? I watch a lot of those murder shows. I don't know if you heard.

[Brady]

I heard you talking.

[John Holmberg]

The guy that emailed and thinks his wife's gonna kill him. Have you ever had that? You ever think she's.

[Brady]

Hold on. So he literally said that these past two weekends, she fed him breakfast they slept for 14 hours, John.

[John Holmberg]

I'm almost positive my wife's trying to kill me. The last couple Saturdays, she made me breakfast after I. I ate it. I slept for about 14 hours each time she left the house. According to the security cameras, three times in those 14 hours. Dressed differently each time.

[Brady]

That's. I mean, if nothing else, it's weird. But, Brady, you've slept for 14 hours after a big meal, big barbecue meal, you.

[Brett]

It's been a while, but. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but as we already pointed out, after he eats a big meal, the masturbation makes him sleepy.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So he's going to go out for a little while, at the very least.

[Brady]

14 hours.

[John Holmberg]

That's a lot of sleeping. Especially when you consider he just woke up, had breakfast, and then knocked down breakfast.

[Brady]

This is not dinner.

[John Holmberg]

No. Yeah. It's not like he had a full day. He got up, had some breakfast, and then went out for 14 hours. And then it happened again and three different changes. Another Saturday. And now he's looking at this. And then he said the razor blades in the bathroom drawer were propped up, blade side up, so if I reached into the drawer wrong, I'd slice my arm wide open. Then she accidentally lit my shirt on fire Tuesday night trying to be playful with a joint and some quote lotion she'd put on me. When I asked her for the lotion, she brought me something that we were not using. So I looked in her bathroom. There was another bottle of lotion with weird liquid in it, like isopropyl alcohol. I tested that in the bathroom and it went up like a Roman candle. I'm scared to death, but I don't have any real evidence. Her last husband left her because he said she was abusive. But she's 531 12. And I always laughed at that guy and called him a wow leave.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, but I. I like what he guys said, like what I would do if I had that suspicion.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I say, why don't you take a bite? Take a bite. Or I. I really like the dog theory.

[John Holmberg]

The dog theory.

[Brady]

I can give the dog some eggs or what?

[John Holmberg]

She says, don't eat that. He can't have that wide. Whatever you made for him or whatever.

[Brady]

Then I go away, feed it to the kids. Kids, yes.

[John Holmberg]

Give it to the dog. Watch her flip. She might take a bite. She might like, know how much is in there. So she's like, I can afford one bite. He's got to eat the whole thing.

[Brett]

Decide to go, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And just like, I'll take a bite of Your eggs and eat it and be like, okay, we're safe. Spill it on the floor and see if she'll let the dog have it.

[Brady]

The dog is.

[John Holmberg]

Because if she allows that. Yeah. And if the dog goes to sleep for like 22 hours, oh, boy. But yeah, it's so common, really, because there's networks of television shows talking about, like, you want.

[Brady]

You watch that stuff. That's loving. Have you ever thought at all that Megan would like you gone?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I wish. Put a pillow over my face. Let's end this. I get up too early every day. It's getting harder and harder. I don't want to get older, Dale. I'm done with this now.

[Brady]

I'm with you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I had my heart stuff a couple last year and I got my final checkup and the heart doctor said it's most likely not going to be the heart to get you. It's going to be something else. You got 25 years to go. And Brooke looks at me and goes, only 25 years. And I went, I don't want to be around at 90.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to do that.

[Brady]

She goes, well, what don't you want to see the grandkids grow up? I go, they're going to be in their 30s.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Nobody needs that. Grandkids aren't grandkids in their 30s.

[Brett]

They're grand people.

[John Holmberg]

They don't want to see you anyway.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Because they're looking at you going, eventually I'm going to be the one that he's going to ask to wipe his ass. And I don't want to be around them.

[Brady]

You're really cool to them till a certain age. I don't know what that age is. Haven't reached it yet, but It'll probably be 10, 11, 12.

[John Holmberg]

You like your grandkids now because he's like 4, 3.

[Brady]

He just turned 5.

[John Holmberg]

He's 5. Okay. And he's adorable.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Just in pictures. That's where I like him.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

In two dimensional photographs. You start dragging him around, I'm gonna.

[Brady]

You would love him at first. And then, you know, you put on an act.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no. Little doses. I'm great. Kids love me. The problem I have, Dale, is the kids like me too much because I'm Peter Pan, like they love. I'm just one of them. I don't want to be around them. You're adorable. Now off you go. Go get a job.

[Brady]

Go get a job.

[John Holmberg]

Go get a job. Earn your keep. I'm tired of paying my. You. You're just Sucking me dry.

[Brady]

That is. That is so cold hearted.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Brady]

Yeah. But I, I. To get back to the. The crux of the matter. Megan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Do you think she'd be better off if you're gone?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, absolutely.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I think most people would be. That's just the way I think of me. Of course. Would the world be better if you.

[Brady]

If you were gone, would Brady slide to that chair? Would Brett slide?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they'd be unemployed. They'd be unemployed.

[Brady]

The show go off the air?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, absolutely. We've tried it. When I'm sick, it's just not. Yeah. These guys need to find something else to do.

[Brady]

Have they tried to do shows on you?

[John Holmberg]

And I get phone calls. It's terrifying. We just. Kid.

[Brady]

Have you been. Have you been in that chair?

[Brett]

I have not.

[Brady]

Do you do from here when he's not here?

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm here. And then this would. This would work.

[Fahim Anwar]

The.

[John Holmberg]

Brady can't do this thing. There's a lot going on.

[Brett]

Too many buttons.

[John Holmberg]

He's singularly focused. We need to keep him. We can't have multiple things happen.

[Brett]

Maybe look at my phone every once in a while.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then we'd lose him, so. And Brett. Yeah, Brett happens now. Yeah. Happens without. I mean. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think a lot. I don't think I'm that important.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

So. Yeah, I'm very aware of that, but.

[Brady]

Your wife would kill me. Love you?

[John Holmberg]

Probably not. Who would. Why?

[Brady]

It's hard to think of somebody love you.

[John Holmberg]

There'd be none of that. No, there's. There's no real reason to. To assume I'm welcome in most places. It's It. Yeah.

[Brady]

Which is exactly why you've never met my wife.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. If I could. If I can bring in money to a situation, I'm welcome to go.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Otherwise, I don't really think that I'm supposed to be.

[Brady]

I mean, if you say, hey, let's just go hang out versus let's go.

[John Holmberg]

To the rah rah room.

[Brady]

Yeah, we'll go to the rah rah room. But just hanging out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to do that with you either.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, me too. If you and I are just going to spend a day at the mall, I'd be like, this is going to last three minutes.

[Brady]

You know what? I got to clean my feet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't want to be with you.

[Brett]

You got something else?

[John Holmberg]

I'll clean other people's feet.

[Brett]

You got to bring something else.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'M very self aware of the idea that I'm just like, I'm always, I always feel like I'm kind of outside looking in on stuff.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And I don't really like the feeling so I kind of avoid it.

[Brady]

I do have some news.

[John Holmberg]

Oh boy.

[Brady]

I went in for Dr. Boy, my annual physical and I started this journey off about a year and a half ago at 340.

[John Holmberg]

What are you weighing now? 340.

[Brady]

I think that was my maximum girth. And you know, it was weird because when I got done playing I said I'll never get about 300. I got 300 and I like wow. I'll never get above 310. Then you get to 312. I'll never get to 320.

[John Holmberg]

Boom, boom, boom, boom. All the way to 3, 4 0.

[Brady]

I think it was, it was close to 340.

[John Holmberg]

Holy.

[Brady]

And I got out of the scale. Doctor's office. This is on Tuesday.

[John Holmberg]

Where are we at?

[Brady]

260.

[John Holmberg]

260. Nice. And Ozempic. How'd you do it?

[Brady]

I, I honestly my appetite is. I, I look learned that when I start to get full, I'm done.

[John Holmberg]

Stop being. Yeah.

[Brady]

I used to be. Are you done with that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Are you done with that and, and finish other people's place?

[John Holmberg]

I just, the worst feeling in the world to me is being full. I think it's awful.

[Brady]

And see that used to not be.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I hate the feeling of being full.

[Brett]

Meal when you're full.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. You packed yourself up, you're miserable. You walk away. Oh, that was a good meal.

[John Holmberg]

It happened to me at a Mexican restaurant when I realized after the 10 minutes of enjoying the food I was gonna have three hours of misery.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like this is a bad relationship. Anything else that I enjoy for 10 minutes that makes me sick for three hours, I don't want to do anymore. No. Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? CMC is hiring immediately at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. Open positions with a five thousand dollar sign on bonus include automation specialists, industrial electricians and industrial mechanics. Join the next next generation of steel makers and help keep our electrical operators and machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity employer. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness and it's time once again for this week's pick of the litter. Brought to you by our friends at Turf monsters. Go to turfmonstersaz.com they help us out at Lost Our home Pet rescue. We appreciate them coming greatly. This week's Pick of the litter is a project. It's Jep. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees. Right now it's this week. Pick of the litter. It's Jeff. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com so I stopped, right?

[Brady]

And so it's been fairly easy now. I become more active. Body feels better. I can golf. I'm going to the gym a little bit. And then here's the kicker. Her. So this happened about six weeks ago. My wife went on a mission trip to Africa and she'd be gone for two weeks.

[John Holmberg]

That's when you were calling me all the time.

[Brady]

Yeah. That's the only time. Yeah. That way I don't have to introduce. But we gave each other a really tight hug and she backs away from me. She goes, what's that? And she's touching my ribs. I said, those are my ribs.

[John Holmberg]

Your bones.

[Brady]

She said, I've never felt them before.

[John Holmberg]

She wasn't sure you were human.

[Brady]

37 years of marriage and she never felt my ribs.

[John Holmberg]

Not sure you're actually human. Like, I don't think there's a skeleton in there. He's just hardened. Carbon mask.

[Brady]

My goodness.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's good. And you never thought she'd try and kill you?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Would she be better off if you weren't here?

[Brady]

I make sure that I. It's equal.

[John Holmberg]

Yes or no question, it's equal.

[Brady]

I've always said, you don't want to be worth more dead than a lot.

[John Holmberg]

Not worth. Not even financially.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Would her life be exponentially just as good or better without you?

[Brady]

It would be. I would say, well, she's a pretty girl. I'm sure she could go find somebody.

[John Holmberg]

The answer is yes. She's a functioning, beautiful person whose life would be fine without you.

[Brady]

She missed me a little.

[John Holmberg]

That's your.

[Brady]

She'd miss me for a while, but.

[John Holmberg]

Then she'd realize, wow, things are fun. Now I don't have to carry them around.

[Brady]

We wrote some things into the will that, hey, when I pass away, the will is split between our two daughters.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And if she makes any changes because.

[John Holmberg]

Some, you know, swinging dick comes into her life.

[Brady]

So some good looking dude comes in to her life that one of the girls has to Assign it too, to change the terms.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really? So this guy doesn't take everything?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What do you want? If you. When you croak, do you want her to move? I want to be happy with some other guy. I'm just some meat stick that comes in. Come on.

[Brady]

It's completely different than knowing when you're alive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

They've been with somebody.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, totally.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You're dead, Johnny. I mean, what are you doing? You think you're gonna be hovering over.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't think any of that's happening. The. But when you're dead. And then she discovers that she'd wasted her entire life and the pleasure, the real pleasure was awaiting her.

[Brady]

No, I think she'll walk away from every life going, not as good as Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Really? I don't believe it. I don't believe it. Yeah, you're telling me that you pass. And I'm at the funeral and she finally meets me and she's like, holy smokes.

[Brady]

Well, you don't go to funeral.

[John Holmberg]

Look at him, walking like a human, like I'm the last guy on the evolutionary chart. Look back too, and there's Dale. And she says, wow, there's a whole gap in between this guy and that. And we go to dinner and we're having fun, and she's like, God, I didn't know life could be this.

[Brady]

You take her to the Rah Rah Ru.

[John Holmberg]

This grand. I take her anywhere she wants to go, though. And then she. And then. And then, of course, the obvious pleasures that I could give it. Oh, here we go.

[Brady]

And where's Megan at this?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she's passed away as well. You guys died? Yeah. You guys died together. I don't know if you knew that. It was a weird incident. Yeah, you were flying to meet us.

[Brett]

And John would ask her to the Sun's game, and you know what she'd say?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Where are the tickets?

[John Holmberg]

Where are the seats? Where are we sitting?

[Brady]

Are we going to the damn wrong.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to go. When's it over? Yeah, so. No, no, I'm just pointing out the fact that, you know, you gotta think.

[Brady]

About that you could be her.

[John Holmberg]

Her world's biggest regret after you pass away, that she finds joy and stuff.

[Brady]

You see. See my wife, unlike your guys. Partners.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Brad. Are you married or just living in?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's doing both. For a long time now, pretty much. He's got both. Well, he's sinning with her, that's for sure. Why are you smiling?

[Brady]

That's the biggest Smile I've ever seen.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's true. He's sinning on it all day long. Ms. New Booty. There's some sinning. Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So is this a new marriage?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but we've been together like five or six years, so. Okay, so we were living in sin? Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, you okay. But you were continuing to live, or is this your first marriage?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, previously it was. It's the second one. Second one.

[Brady]

Does this one like you more than the first one?

[John Holmberg]

Well, I don't know about that. I like her more than the first one. That's a good question. Do you think the other one was at a higher level, like for you than Matthias? No. No, I don't think so.

[Brady]

Does the first one miss you, do you think?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

Ever think about you? I wouldn't like the good times.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't care.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't care. Yeah. Isn't that great?

[Fahim Anwar]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You didn't married once?

[John Holmberg]

No, two. First one was in the middle of the Trade center, right? Yeah. The Al Qaeda didn't get her so close.

[Brady]

Bad thoughts about that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I think this is a good thoughts. I like have those fantasy like fan fiction moments where she's still in there.

[Brady]

Yes. I didn't finish the job.

[John Holmberg]

They got to come back. Like one circles back and just hits her. Like a little prop plane comes by and just knocks her down like. Like a bowling pin.

[Brady]

This is hol down there. It's despair.

[John Holmberg]

She's despair. We got the. We got nine pins. Pick it up. Picked it up. And bounce her off the wall. And we're all done.

[Brady]

Oh my goodness.

[Brett]

Bunny strike.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, bunny strike. And the plane goes down just once.

[Brady]

One marriage.

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Brett]

Coming up on 19 years.

[John Holmberg]

Long time. That's a lot. Yeah.

[Brady]

And how long you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, just 15 or 16, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. How about them apples?

[Brady]

Yeah, that met her when she was 13.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I had my eyes on her for a little while before. Couple years. I waited till it was appropriate.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

West Virginia style.

[Brady]

How much younger is she than you?

[John Holmberg]

Eight.

[Brady]

Eight years younger?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's eight.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Eight years younger. That's about right. How about you?

[Brady]

Is Brooke Brooks a year young?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Just one year younger. So she's got to get. You got to go soon because she's still a viable, like functional. Because five, six more years, she's going to die alone. Because nobody wants a seven plus year old woman. We're ten years. Ten. Yeah.

[Brett]

What happens?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they get expired. Yeah, that's right. They expire. Spoiled Milk. Men age like fine wine, women age like milk. Do you think? Well, it's true. It's true. If Brooke passed and I. I don't even wish that. I ain't talking about you dying all day and I don't know. Would you move on?

[Brady]

I'm sure at some point.

[Brett]

And is it in the will too that you can't.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett]

The 23 year old floozy.

[Brady]

No, neither ones could change.

[John Holmberg]

How many weeks would you wait?

[Brady]

An appropriate amount.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's a good answer.

[Brady]

When he's ready, I would check in with you, John, see if it's acceptable.

[John Holmberg]

Now I think you'd call me.

[Brady]

Yeah. And say, john, give me some advice.

[John Holmberg]

Funeral's over at 7. Where are we going?

[Brady]

Why am I calling you? Why are you not there?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, no.

[Brady]

I'm just.

[John Holmberg]

We haven't gone yet. You're planning the funeral Tuesday. Funeral's Tuesday at 7. Where are we going after? I want to. I want to get my night straight.

[Brady]

You are.

[John Holmberg]

What should I wear? And I'll be like. I don't know, just. Whatever you normally wear. Yeah, it's a thing. So. Yeah, but thinking about dead spouses and stuff and one guy says always know that if you're working with somebody that had a dead spouse, look into it. Yes, because they don't take their word for it. They might have killed him.

[Brady]

I. I totally.

[Brett]

Black widow.

[Brady]

I. I think that I would have a hard time getting into a relationship with somebody who.

[John Holmberg]

Spouse. No kidding. Why?

[Brady]

Because I would never trust. I mean, every night you go to.

[Brett]

Sleep, I want to hear the story first at least.

[Brady]

I mean, the guy got killed in a car accident. Yeah, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Was she in the back? Flashing light in the mirror. That's true. Did his brakes stop working? Stop. What happened? Did the car blow up? Casino St. That's why you get away with it. Like she gets she. Because she's smart. They're methodical.

[Brett]

Look into it.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta dive deep. He just drove off a cliff out of the blue.

[Brady]

Really, Brady, do you. You don't think like this, do you?

[Brett]

No, not.

[John Holmberg]

Brady doesn't think like this.

[Brett]

I would look into it. Yeah, I definitely would think.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's a brave phrase. Brady says if I look, I look into everything. First time ever said on this show. Look, Brady had an uncle fall asleep with a landscaper and his whole family thinks that's okay. Like nobody's gay or I was the one who had to take tell his family. Your uncle's a homosexual? No, he got married later to the landscaper.

[Brett]

Kids.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I remember telling his dad it could.

[Brett]

Have been on the down low the whole time.

[John Holmberg]

He wasn't though, because he was asleep on the couch with the landscaper and he was like, he was like a.

[Brady]

Young landscaper was inside the house.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you, Dale. And he was inside the landscape.

[Brett]

Grown up.

[John Holmberg]

It was the only people that's made sense to.

[Brett]

Are the boys taking a nap on the couch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The landscaper came in and slept with one of the boys and they're like, that's normal what life is. Yeah, exactly. Only the bogans. Yeah, Only the bogans are like, yeah. Why wouldn't you sleep like they're both. Well, they fired the landscaper cuz they knew right away. Oh geez. The landscaper, just one of us. It's time for him to go. Wow. I've said it several times. My landscaper, Al Smith and his crew. Never once have I come home, I go, man, I had a long day, Al. And said, yeah, me too, John. I'm like, why don't we go in and spoon on the couch, you and I get this out of the way. That's gay. Immediately homosexual. So.

[Brett]

And he was, you know, landscape, farm hand. Basically worked.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't make it better.

[Brett]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

You're not trying to say save the story or.

[Brett]

No, no, no, it's not saving the story is. That's how people handled it. Even when our school like they, it was almost like the Catholic church or teachers. No, you're fire would get in trouble. We had a teacher that was caught with boys and they just basically get out of town.

[Brady]

But a landscaper number one. Why is he even in your house?

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

Like to have sex.

[John Holmberg]

To have sex with the guy.

[Brett]

He's working on the, the farm that might.

[John Holmberg]

It's not inside though. Yeah, the farm's outside.

[Brett]

Well, I think there are they all.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you this right now. He was plowing a field, but it wasn't outside. Yeah, he was hitting the backhoe.

[Brett]

He was in the barn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. In fact, when Al wanders into the house sometimes. No, no, no, no farms outside. I gotta remind him every house I'm.

[Brady]

Say if your landscaper came, knocked on the door and said, hey Johnny, can I use your restroom?

[John Holmberg]

No. I had a good friend who was my landscaper for a while, had to poop. Jeff. Jeff. And I told him, I'm like Taco Bell down the road. And he goes, you will let me use your bathroom. I'm like, in my home. No. So he went into the alley and he. And he did it in the alley. Finished the table because he couldn't make.

[Brett]

It to the T bell.

[John Holmberg]

He could have made it to the T bell. He wasted a lot of time asking questions. No, the T bill is less than a mile away.

[Brady]

Wanted to go number one.

[John Holmberg]

There's a. You're outside.

[Brady]

Yeah. Maybe he's got some tact and class.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't. He's covered in leaves and dirt. You're not coming in pee in a bush. There's an ample yard for you to urinate in.

[Brady]

Oh, my gosh.

[John Holmberg]

You would let the landscaper into poop.

[Brady]

Absolutely not. Well, then there you go. Absolutely not.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Dale's here to talk sports with us, as always happening.

[Brady]

We got steelers. We got sons.

[John Holmberg]

But did you see the subtleties of Brady's movement? Like, the funny thing was bringing that up was only to say that he goes, I'd look into it. And we always give Brady crap about that. He turned that story into the farmhand's fault.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

He never once said, uncle what's his name is a homosexual.

[Brett]

He wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, he was.

[Brett]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

I fall asleep with the landscaper. What am I napping? Nope. With the landscape on the couch in my house. I get caught laying down, taking a.

[Brett]

Nap on the couch.

[Brady]

Somebody walked in on him.

[Brett]

My dad saw him.

[John Holmberg]

He was like 11 and he's not gay.

[Brady]

Your dad was 11?

[Brett]

Yeah, my dad was like 11. Nine.

[John Holmberg]

Your brother's like 14 and he's uncle.

[Brett]

Yeah, a couple years.

[John Holmberg]

14 or 15. Sleeping with the landscaper on the couch.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And nobody said, oh, uncle. Uncle John's gay.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

See, there's the thing about looking into it. That's why I brought that up.

[Brett]

I mean, they still deny I talked to my mom about that because, you know, he also, you know, it fits the down low for sure. But, you know, he was married for years, then he married two more times after that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What was those dudes names?

[Brett]

They're masculine women.

[John Holmberg]

And he grifted them, right?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He wasn't even interested. He wasn't interested in sexually. He was charming because most homosexuals get along with women really, really well.

[Brett]

Dried up at the tail end.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Bottom line is you can't.

[Brady]

So they repressed this in. In the Bogan family.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they certainly not us.

[Brett]

I didn't. There's no. My dad. If anything you're doing. I didn't really. We didn't. I didn't see my uncle Jack too much growing up.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, they kept you away from him.

[John Holmberg]

And also, it was.

[Brett]

I napped with him a couple of times.

[John Holmberg]

And I know all my uncles and right now and knowing they're life and their history, but if you're like, hey, your uncle Doug got caught one sleeping with the landscape, we're like, oh, Doug's a homosexual. Like, it wouldn't bother me. It would just be.

[Brett]

I mean he works in the family.

[John Holmberg]

Business and to me doesn't mean he's non functional as a human being. No, no, no.

[Brett]

But I'm saying as far as the other stuff, I always ask my dad that question. Yeah, I think that he, he, he.

[Brady]

Was 11, you know, as he got older.

[Brett]

Jack and I know society at that time. Oh sure, he's got to be closeted.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine, you know, when you hear when you smell fresh cut grass, how you feel good about a memory with her triggers. That guy. Yeah, Repression. That guy's fresh cut grass. And some manure, man, when they had to manure the field, that was his favorite time. The smell of poop and fresh cut grass. That guy's hard as a rock. Hard as a rock.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, Brady's not looking into it is what I'm saying. You don't have to worry about any of that. It's 9:43. Dale Hellestra is here. We'll talk a little sports in a second. Even though I'm avoiding it because it's all awful. I don't want to talk to you about it. I don't want to talk other than.

[Brady]

Your new friends favorite team, the Diamondbacks play.

[John Holmberg]

They're not bad, right? And I've been watching a little Cubs baseball again. I can't help it. Kind of peeking in the window. The X. It's not pretty.

[Brady]

I like.

[John Holmberg]

It's 9:43. We got Dale here. In just moments, we'll talk some sports. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98. It's Sean Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about turf monsters, the people who are resurrecting my backyard. Turf is the way to go. No more dirt and mud track all over my house by my dogs. The turf is pet safe, easy to clean, and it's amazing. And they don't stop there. I got a basketball court going in my backyard and a putting green. They found an amazing place for this design. Turf Monsters AZ is where you need to go to renovate your backyard space. Use home bird and get 10% off the whole deal. How about that? Turfmonstersaz.com Optimize your nutrition this year with Factor America's number one ready to eat meal service. Factor's fresh never frozen meals are dietitian approved. Ready to eat in just two minutes. Choose from 40 weekly options across eight dietary preferences like calorie smart, protein plus and keto eat smarter at FactorMeals.com listen50 and use code listen50 for 50 off plus free shipping on your first box. FactorMeals.com listen50 code listen50 still streaming homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] you guys make me sick. Not me. Disgusting. All right, Dale's Dale Hellustrates here, brought to you by our friends at a prestige billiards. Az.com if you want to head on over there and grab yourself some game room stuff. I need new darts. I threw my darts. Yeah, that's one thing about a dart board. And I totally like. I've argued with Meathead about this. Get the real darts. I don't even care if you have kids you want. They'll lose an eye. That's they were going to lose an eye either way. Don't get those plastic ones. Meathead's like Meathead and I agree completely. If you're going to get a dartboard, get a dartboard.

[Brady]

Well, you don't have kids, so what does it matter?

[John Holmberg]

Well, then they'll get a dartboard. The one with the bendy plastics.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Just drives you nuts in the end. At the end of the day, that's going to be more frustration than fun, right?

[Brady]

Just don't play darts around.

[Brett]

I don't know. A couple of electric dart boards are kind of cool when it lights up the score for you.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, you go ahead and get your shiny objects like a bass and enjoy that. We're going to do the entertainment drill.

[Brady]

No, we got sports.

[John Holmberg]

What are your sports?

[Brady]

Sports. Talk about.

[John Holmberg]

There's no sports right now.

[Brady]

Yes, there is.

[John Holmberg]

The NBA playoffs is in its worst. It's in the infancy and nobody cares.

[Brady]

Yeah, but what just happened? And then are you happy with the start to the off season with the.

[John Holmberg]

Suns with fire and Budenholzer? Did we not see this coming in January?

[Brady]

It's three coaches in four years.

[John Holmberg]

It's going to be four in four years because they got to hire a new one. So what do you think? What is your GM of the second Suns? What do you do?

[Brady]

I, I don't. I, I don't. We've talked about that on, on my other show.

[John Holmberg]

If you're owner of the Suns, what do you do more importantly than gm?

[Brady]

Because the thing is Here, here's the whole deal. And, and I, I, I wonder how this went down when they traded for Bradley Beal. Did they read all the fine language, points and whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Here's my argument to that. And this is a good argument. Nobody should. Shams Windhurst or whatever his name is. No. Experts in the NBA, not a soul said at the beginning of the season, Ishby is out of his mind. This roster sucks.

[Brady]

No, I know, I know. I understand that.

[John Holmberg]

And so to sit back and say, oh, he's a terrible manager, should have never done this. How did you not see this? Where's the fine print on that? We all thought they were going to win 50 something games. Everyone.

[Brady]

Oh, I had money on 40 and a half.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 40 and a half was the under over. You're like, you're out of your mind. This team's 55 minimum. They're going to be a top three seed, no doubt. So now everybody hindsight screams, the general manager's an idiot. I can't believe they made that.

[Brady]

I understand that.

[John Holmberg]

That's all because they didn't play well.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

So you can't really sit back and say Ishbia is a bad owner. Like, you know, he's terrible. At which Stephen A. Smith said, he's the worst owner in the NBA ever. Yeah.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. That's crazy.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So you'd have done the same thing he did back in the beginning of the year and thought I put together a hell of a team.

[Brady]

No. Here's my question though, is did they know all the ramifications of the Bradley Beal deal?

[John Holmberg]

Because they close their eyes and swung the bat.

[Brady]

Because, because there's no way out.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

You know, with Durant, even Booker.

[Brett]

Booker.

[Brady]

Well, they haven't done it. Yeah, there's talk they're gonna have done. Yeah, but, but you're a way out if you wanted to. With Beal, there's, there's no wiggle room.

[John Holmberg]

But again, back in October, I understand. Like, he's not gonna, we don't need him to go crazy. Just. Okay. And so you were all right with that deal until he was six points a night and 12 games out of 40. And you're like, this is not good.

[Brady]

Like now I was not. Because I obviously did not sit down and see the fine, the little small taping at the bottom of the contract. No trade clause. No. This. All that is what, paying $50 million. Yeah, but it was a three year swing.

[John Holmberg]

You figured that no trade clause wouldn't hurt you too bad. So here's what I think. If you. If you're the owner, you can't fire the general manager because the general manager has to come in and attract free agents and hire a coach until one of those two things happens. You're not getting any free agents to come until you find out who the coach is.

[Brady]

You can't even get a free agent. You're in the second apron of the salary cap.

[John Holmberg]

Well, even if you get rid of everybody and get a bunch of draft picks, what roster do you have for a coach to get?

[Brady]

Right. No, I understand, and that's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

They're in a mess.

[Brady]

But if they could have. If they could get rid of Beal's contract, then, boom, they're out of that system. Second apron. And if you trade Durant now, and now you got wiggle room. You get some assets, you give up.

[John Holmberg]

Beal for whatever anybody will give you. Yes, but Durant goes, Booker goes. The whole thing. Shot.

[Brady]

You can't even. Can't even wave and stretch Beal because you're doing that with some guy named Y. Little or something. It's like, I saw that. Who's that?

[John Holmberg]

You've got a guy clogging that spot. Never play. Yeah, there's. Yeah, they're in a. They're in a mess because you can't. So I think Jones, actually, I've been thinking he's going to probably stay.

[Brady]

Well, in June, it runs out because.

[John Holmberg]

You got to replace him, and nobody wants that job because your job now is to dismantle the whole thing without a coach. Talk people into coming in and being part of this thing without a coach. Or talk a coach in and say, I'll build you a roster. You're getting Jared Dudley. You're not getting a good coach.

[Brady]

Well, would you consider the last two coaches good coach?

[John Holmberg]

I can't blame the coaches anymore.

[Brady]

I mean, first of all, do you realize that the guy that got fired at the start of this whole firestorm went to Detroit?

[John Holmberg]

Monty.

[Brady]

Monty, yeah. Do you realize Detroit won over 50.

[John Holmberg]

Games this year, and that just might have been a problem.

[Brady]

Well, they. They won, but they won 21 games the last two years with him as the head coach.

[John Holmberg]

And maybe it's like the way the old Detroit Tigers when they had Alan Trammell as their coach and they won. They lost 119 games. But he basically said, here's how the game works. You got. Are going to suck.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

The next year. They're like, they were a contender.

[Brett]

I think they're looking at. And said, monty doesn't drink enough.

[John Holmberg]

Let's bring that guy can pound bud can throw. But in between you got Vogel. You can't blame the coaches when there's three coaches in three years and same.

[Brady]

Results every year and two of them are championship coaches.

[John Holmberg]

All right, judge me. Who. Who brought you here? Talking about the Suns. Well, we have a sports segment. Things just depress me.

[Brady]

Hey, are you g. Are. Are they sending out renewal notices for the Rah Rah room? Are they. Are they loan. The price?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I don't know. Probably not. Me and. Me and a couple of the members. Anthony and I have been talking about how that's going to be handled. We're curious.

[Brady]

Maybe they give you a second year free.

[John Holmberg]

That'd be nice. In that case, back in not happening. In that case, are you.

[Brady]

Are you going to get season tickets next year?

[John Holmberg]

I got him with Kevin Ray. My friend Kevin Ray does the games over there.

[Brady]

Your good friend and his.

[John Holmberg]

And his friend Bill, they have tickets and I kind of got.

[Brady]

You got invited to the wedding.

[John Holmberg]

I got in with him. I know. I got. I couldn't make it. Yeah, that's something going on.

[Brady]

Cost your cost a little bit though.

[John Holmberg]

I gave him some money. I. I give him a nice gift.

[Brady]

Yeah, because I made you.

[John Holmberg]

No, you said do it now and all right. So I gave him cash. I was gonna go buy him something, but you made it uncomfortable for everyone. And then I bought your dinner that night.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's time for the entertainment drill. 30 each. Dale Hell street will join us for the entertainment drill brought to you by our [e-mail] the Home Tactical Black self defense systems. And if you want to get out there, they've got a couple kegs. Tomorrow morning, one Tony will hide one Josh and Jay will hide up there at the house of bruise. It's rose garden and whatever. But they don't just hide it. They make you. They make you dance. And that's the good thing. So you got to get tactical when you're up there. Maybe get yourself a keg. 5,000 bucks there they're going to do that for. So we thank them. Tony's got his at his location. Check it all [e-mail] find out where the kegs are hidden and then mill around the property. But don't be jerks. And we're. While you're there, check out the facility. You can check out the plane. I'll probably ask him and say, hey, I want to be part of this thing. And you get personal Training. Self defense training. Two months, 199 bucks. That is personal training. You do not get anywhere else. I promise you that. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical black Brady.

[Brady]

Dale, entertain me real quick before Brady gets started. Has there been any years where there's been kegs that weren't found?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sometimes there's one or two that won't make it.

[Brady]

Okay. I mean we've been curious.

[John Holmberg]

We've hidden them deep. Deep in the desert.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where you have to GPS coordinate.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

To find the coordinates. Yeah. So there's been a couple that did not get found and a couple that were found and never brought in, which is weird.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And then a homeless guy found him.

[Brady]

That one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's right. And then. Yeah. So bring him food coupons. That's right. We had to go get it back. He held it hostage. Bunch of Jumbo Jacks and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. He called in. Yeah. You want your cake big you get in. We had to bring him some jumbo. He gave it. He gave it back. Yeah, I took some rifle. Forgot that one. It would have been that or at a scrapyard. Either way he would have got his money. Most of the time they come back.

[Brady]

Do. Do any of you guys hide?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, oh, we all hide them. Yeah. Larry. I was going to say don't forget about the time when somebody found a keg from the previous year. Oh, that's right. I think that was just a few years ago. Somebody brought a keg in and they're like I found it. It's been laying in a ravine for a year.

[Brett]

This is from the previous year.

[John Holmberg]

It's the wrong year.

[Brett]

Amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Forgot about that. Yeah, we've had a few kind of like funny stories. But yeah, we all hide them. Like tonight I'm going to out hiding mine.

[Brady]

Where you going to hide yours?

[John Holmberg]

Well, outside Dale.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We find out tomorrow, Brady hires his family to do it so he can sleep, get his beauty rest 14 hours. And Brett comes in and does the overnights for people. Because people will start early. They start thinking that they can go out at like midnight and they start calling him and asking questions.

[Brady]

So how come he's the only one does overnights? Why don't you rotate that?

[John Holmberg]

Because it's a. It's a peasant's job. He's low man on the totem. Taking it back. That's what I used to do it. Sometimes he's got to remind him himself.

[Brady]

Where he sits on.

[John Holmberg]

I was late two weeks in a row. I had to go do overnights for make him. We make him. Remember, we make him. You know what? You should be grateful. Keeps you hungry. Yeah, bro. You look me in the eye like a man. I appreciate my position. Gotta talk to him like a godfather.

[Brady]

Yes, I hear you, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead.

[Brett]

Nate Bargazi got tapped to host the Emmy awards in September.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he makes everything better.

[Brady]

I like everything.

[John Holmberg]

Everything Nate does makes whatever it is better. He'll make me watch the Emmys for a little while because he's just great.

[Brett]

The story about Elon Musk that came out that you know, has 14 kids with four different women. But wait, there might be more. Wall Street Journal says Elon has a habit of asking women to let him impregnate them. And he actually has a deal, signs the. There's a payoff and there's NDA that they sign.

[John Holmberg]

Where do we sign up for this exactly?

[Brett]

They have four women basically have for them.

[John Holmberg]

You're a selfish wife if you don't do this.

[Brett]

So they're saying, how many kids does he have? He refers to his children as his legion. Yeah, and he needs to add to the legion. And the most recent. Ashley Sinclair said wanted to have kids with her. She says she turned down 15 million to keep her babies.

[John Holmberg]

Would you tell your daughters to turn that down? They're breeding age.

[Brett]

That's just to keep it a secret.

[John Holmberg]

Is Brooke still. Can Brooke have a miracle baby? Is she still.

[Brady]

No, she's had a history.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all right. We got to go to the daughters. If they came to you and said Elon Musk offered me 15 million have his baby. Isn't it gross, dad?

[Brady]

Well, I check with the son in law's first.

[John Holmberg]

Why? What kind of.

[Brady]

I have no control over my daughters family.

[John Holmberg]

This is real family. You'd let your son in laws say no to that?

[Brady]

If they feel comfortable of saying, yeah, I'm not going to see any of the money.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about? They. They'd give you a gift or get a couple of trips out of this.

[Brady]

Give me some jumbo, Jack.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, you might get that. What about Brady? What about you? You wouldn't let that 15 million impregnate Ronnie.

[Brett]

Still, I'd want to talk about it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah? How long? Couple seconds.

[Brett]

Minutes maybe.

[John Holmberg]

This is happening. I drive ma to the airport. There you go. Exactly. See a couple toots. Yeah. This indecent proposal thing has always confused me. It's such a good deal. And she likes Elon more. It's like, okay, we still got the 15 million. Now I get half of that. We're in good shape. Just deadman me. I'll be in the back house. I'm fine with it. I'll. I'll videotape. Oh, yeah. I'll. I'll push Elon's ass. I'll help.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That'Ll be a great video. Oh my God. It be amazing.

[Brett]

I don't know who is shocked by this, but The Fire Fest 2 has been posting.

[John Holmberg]

Postponed. Yeah.

[Brett]

New dates will be announced.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. He said Mexico stole his money. So he's blaming the government of Mexico for why this one's failing.

[Brady]

What's Fire Fest?

[John Holmberg]

Fire Fest was a comp. It's a documentary on Netflix. You can watch. This dude promoted this show that never happened. And people flew to it. It was on an island.

[Brett]

Most expensive today.

[John Holmberg]

Hundred thousand dollar, 000 package. There was no show. And the day before the show, he knew there's no show and people were arriving. It was bad, really. And then so he went to jail. Comes out of it four years, tries to throw another party. And everybody's like, yeah, let's try this again. And he's. And now it's happening.

[Brady]

Stupid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. You're dumb if you want to. Stupid country music, Dale. No blaming it the whole time.

[Brady]

Fest, I promise you, is not country music.

[John Holmberg]

No. Fyre Fest will probably include a couple of country music. But I'm saying the population's been dumbed down so much by country music.

[Brady]

Not that yelling and screaming on kupd.

[John Holmberg]

No, that keeps you alive. Keep your life.

[Brett]

Got a great story.

[Brady]

Yeah, great story. Great, great one here. Let's see here. So 21 years later, how does Bobby Brown. I know you've been about him. How does Bobby Brown feel about old Britney Spears? 2004 version of my Prerogative.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember her doing that.

[Brady]

I mean. I mean, I tossed and turned last night just wondering about how does Bobby Brown feel?

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't feel sealedale.

[Brady]

Yeah, he hates it, Johnny. In fact, he says she butchered it.

[John Holmberg]

She did?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember hearing it.

[Brady]

I don't remember hearing it either. I'll pull it up. But Bobby doesn't really feel like anybody else's takes on his work. Quote, I don't think they really did justice to any of the samples that they have done to my song.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember her singing.

[Brady]

No.

[Brett]

And he let it go because he said Teddy Riley was producing. He figured Teddy would do.

[Brady]

So you read this whole story. See, you are prepar. You are prepared.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's it. There it is. All right, here's my Progress by Britney. I'm crazy. Oh, I do remember that. She whisper sings it.

[Brady]

Oh, I like this better than Bobby Brown.

[John Holmberg]

You do? Racist country music fan. Yeah, cuz he likes charitable taste in music. Of course you like. This is bad. That's bad. That's terrible. Bobby's right. I'm just glad Bobby says no one else touches. Glad Whitney's not here to see it. That's all. That's all I care about.

[Brady]

John, we got one more week until the NFL draft where the Pittsburgh Steelers get healed.

[John Holmberg]

Well, H E E L E D We'll talk about that next Thursday, because that's the day.

[Brady]

Why you shake your head like I.

[John Holmberg]

Am for the first time in my announcement? Oh, my. No, I'm not hoping for that announcement.

[Brady]

Do you want Aaron Rodgers or no?

[John Holmberg]

At this point, we've been held hostage. You almost have to take him, but if they. Yeah, if he's not there.

[Brett]

Do you want him or not?

[Brady]

No, you don't. You'd rather go with Philip Rudolph or whatever that guy. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody on the roster right now can be their starting quarterback. So you just get a rookie or you. You make a crazy trade because quarterback's all that matters in the NFL. So you got to throw T.J. watts at the Niners. You got to. To get something. You got to bring Brock Purdy over. There's got to be something. I mean, this is the first time in my adult life this franchise has been like, really? The Browns or the Cowboys are just idiots.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, so.

[Brady]

And there. There seems to be more and more, you know, again. And last thing on the Suns is my. My last hope is that at the lottery.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The Sun's ball pops up to the top for the first pick.

[John Holmberg]

It'll be the number one pick in Houston. Houston controls that. Ugh. Don't laugh at that. That's people's pain.

[Brady]

It's the only way you can get through it, John.

[John Holmberg]

That is true. The only way you can do it is to laugh at it and then spend more money trying to watch them fail again. Ugh. The more you said it last week that the Suns are the Browns of the NBA, the more you're kind of like, you know what? 50 plus years of not doing a thing right.

[Brady]

Well, you got winning at all. You got Bradley Beal, you got Watson in. In Cleveland and can't get out from either one of them.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Dale. It's always. It's always good to see you. Uplifting way to end the show.

[Brady]

Happy Easter weekend, Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You two have a great Easter. Enjoy it. We'll see you next Thursday. That's it. We'll see you guys tomorrow for the Easter keg hunt. It is official. Tonight we hide. Tomorrow you hunt, and then tomorrow night somebody walks with $5,000. Larry's got all the info for you, and we'll get ready to go. Let's get safe and get your hunting gear on. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. Hello, Arizona's most powerful rock media station. He said fully erected.