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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Brett
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Brady
It's John Holmer here, chilling away for my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. My friend just hit a bird in his truck. Well, actually, the bird hit his truck, but it hit so hard that the windshield broke. New Vision Autoglass has a warehouse right here in town, so sometimes you can actually get the work done the same day you call. And not only that, you know they're going to give you up to $375 cash back. Go to new vision autoglass.com, answer a few questions, find out how much you qualify. If you've got a broken windshield, at least get the feathers off. And then call 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil.
John Holmberg
Sitting right here.
Brady
Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. All these people with conspiracy theories that the Pope died, like, weeks ago and they just held him out till after Easter.
Doug Hopkins
Timing.
Brady
I thought that, too. Except for then they started to show JD Vance shaking hands with him, and he was only there, like, a couple days ago.
Doug Hopkins
A couple days before.
Brady
So maybe they planned out that stuff to have him shake hands like the Pope was in on it. Like they're gonna ice me. Let's get these out of the way. I don't think. I don't think it has legs. Although a lot of you guys do, because there's a ton of these emails coming in.
John Holmberg
It's a mob hit or something. I mean, right? He's connected.
Brady
Well, that's the one thing.
Doug Hopkins
It's like, wait till timed around Easter. Is that why?
Brady
Well, yeah. They're saying it seems a little convenient for them to have EAs. Everybody's focused on them. And then, by the way, Their big boy goes down. I'm surprised there's no conspiracy that J.D. vance didn't, you know, poison him or something after he had so many bad things to say about the Trump administration and the deportations. But I think just an old man died. I don't think we have to have conspiracies when an 88 year old guy with pneumonia drops out. I'm pretty sure that struggling. I know what goes on with all 88 year old dudes with pneumonia. Pneumonia knocks out 80 or 88 year old guys with pneumonia. They're going. They're going down. And then you get twice, you get hit with bronchitis and then doubles down. Pneumonias you. And then doubles up again. You're going away. You're not coming back. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by all Pro Shades. There's somebody built a Chihuahua with a Mick hat. It's adorable. Oh, it's so much more lovable than a real Irish. Am I wrong? They're the Irish of dogs. Well done, Michael.
John Holmberg
Oh, ma' am.
Brady
Absolutely awesome.
John Holmberg
Sorry, I didn't mean to wreck.
Brady
No, no, no. Chihuahuas and mick hats will always trump whatever the hell I'm talking about. I could be in the middle of going, my parents were murdered last night and my mom was brutally just. It just. It was horrible. And I found the bottle. Look at that.
Doug Hopkins
There's a little Chihuahua.
Brady
He's probably named Hitman or something. They're the Irish of dogs. Yeah, I've been right about this from day one. Kind of a pain in the ass, a little bit. Mouthy, loud, small chip on their shoulder. Fun. They can be fun. You have them in the house all the time, you know, pissing on stuff that this. It's the same as an Irish throwing up on things. The Mick head is perfect, though. Anyway, back to what we were talking about. The brave report's brought to you by all Pro Shade Concepts. If you're looking to get this summer started, soon as the heat's gonna start coming back again. It's a great weekend, though. And if you have an outdoor space that was direct sun. Oh, my goodness. This would have been the perfect weekend to just hit that button, shade it up a little bit. Still warm outside, but you don't have to be sitting directly in the sun. You got a TV on your back patio. You can make an outdoor space more like an indoor space. You don't need one of those weird Arizona rooms anymore. All pro Shade takes care of it. Makes it beautiful, great for resale. A great little, you know, addition to your home. Check it all out@allproched.com and you can grab that right now. Brady reported.
Doug Hopkins
Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world.
Brady
Hi.
Doug Hopkins
Happy National Keep off the Grass day.
Brady
Damn right.
Doug Hopkins
National Chocolate covered Cashews day.
Brady
You know, you don't have to keep off the grass when you've got turf. I am a turf advocate now.
Doug Hopkins
Yeah, but you still want people off the grass.
Brady
You don't want anybody on my property.
Doug Hopkins
Exactly.
Brady
It's weird to have people just, you know. I've never understood that. I've said that a million times. People screaming, get off my lawn. You're trespassing. It has nothing to do with my lawn. And crazy old man, what are you doing on somebody else's grass?
Doug Hopkins
Couple of basis fun facts. The first ever comic book convention was in New York in 1964. The very first person to buy tickets, 16 year old George R.R. martin.
Brady
They have that proven. He was the first sold ticket to a comic con.
Doug Hopkins
I'll buy the first tickets.
Brady
That must mean they only sold like one ticket for a few days.
Doug Hopkins
Couldn't have been that.
Brady
You still know the dude who bought the first ticket. You weren't. You didn't have a line that day.
Doug Hopkins
Cher has the record for the longest amount of time between her first and last number one.
Brady
The first one had to be the, the Sonny Bono song.
Doug Hopkins
I got you.
Brady
I got you baby.
Doug Hopkins
Number one. August of 1965.
Brady
Turn back time 86. No, she had something. But what was that? What was the next one?
Doug Hopkins
It was in 99.
Brady
Believe in life after love.
John Holmberg
Believe.
Doug Hopkins
Was one 33 and a half years later. April of 1999.
Brady
I can feel something inside your side. We're full bit.
Byron
We sound just the same.
Brady
Oh.
Doug Hopkins
Meerkats are more likely to kill each other than any other mammals. Almost 20% of meerkats are killed by members of the same species.
Brady
Wow. We're minutes away from The Doug Hopkins five thousand dollar qualifier. Brady, get ready. Get your texting fingers ready. 97936 is the number to te. Get ready.
Doug Hopkins
They did a little silly online poll and asked what gender do you think the Easter bunny is?
Brady
They. Them.
Doug Hopkins
5,000 people weighed in. 32% said male.
Brady
Yeah.
Doug Hopkins
5% said female and 64% said neither or never thought about it.
Brady
I'm only going to say it's a man because when he was invented it probably would have been. You know, only a guy would do this job. They didn't hire women to do anything back when the Easter Bunny started. So, yeah, it's a man's job.
Doug Hopkins
There is also a crossover with, you know, Peter Cottontail.
Brady
Is he the same. I thought that was just a different. I think it's a completely different rabbit.
Doug Hopkins
Rise of the Guardians. They kind of. Yeah, I just assumed back there, but.
Brady
When he was invented, this. You know, this is a pretty big undertaking. Back when he was invented, they wouldn't have trusted a woman with this. And I don't think the general public would have been like, it's a girl. Get her back in the kitchen. I'm not saying that's true.
Doug Hopkins
Now, Easter Bunny goes back as far as 1692.
John Holmberg
Damn.
Doug Hopkins
It's like the German scholar wrote about an Easter hare laying colorful eggs.
Brady
That was a dude. Well, now, wait a minute. If he's laying the eggs, Easter Bunny's a girl. Yeah, it's a good.
Doug Hopkins
That sounds a little feminine.
Brady
Well, that's what I'm saying. When they. It's very feminine to lay eggs. It's incredibly feminine.
Doug Hopkins
But together, then we found out they're chocolate eggs.
Brady
Well, here's the other thing. Yeah, that's right. And then trying to get rid of those eggs, that's definitely the. The male bunnies thing. We got to get rid.
Doug Hopkins
It goes heavier.
Brady
You keep laying all these eggs, I'm gonna have to hide them from your ass. You're having too many kids. It was like the Tariq Hill of bunnies back in the day. All right, let's do this right now. Brady, I'm excited.
Doug Hopkins
Do it.
Brady
You ready? All right, here we go, everyone. Here's how this works. I have a receipt in my hand from someplace I've gone and eaten or had it delivered to me. This is an old one. I will give you the name of the place and everything I ordered. Brady's pretty good at this. I will also give you that. There is a $3.32 service fee, an $11 tip, or order food from Ticketmaster or what? That's right. Service charges include the tax on the end of it for yourself. Here's what I ordered from Sushi Brokers. I had one Edamame. Not just one, but one order of. If they just brought me one, I'd be pissed. One California roll, one Crab Rangoons, one volcano chicken.
John Holmberg
That sounds good.
Brady
Yeah. So good. Was it? Yeah. Accidentally. Really good. That actually showed up because Doordash screwed up the first time and brought the wrong order, and I was crushing this stuff. Like, what the hell is this.
Byron
We didn't order that.
Brady
I'm eating it. We are goddamn good right there. Find out what we got. One shrimp tempura roll and one outlaw roll. Are you looking at the menu, Brady? No, it's a wise thing to do.
Doug Hopkins
I'm just going off of my guest.
Brady
Okay. Service fee, 332. I tipped 11 bucks to the dasher. How much exactly is this bill? You can text your answer. 97936. You text your guess.
Brett
No dollar sign and no decimal.
Brady
No decimal. Is that new?
Brett
That's new. With the new system.
Brady
No decimal point, just the four digits.
Brett
Just the four digits of the price.
Brady
What happened to the decimal?
Brett
New system. Doesn't recognize it.
Brady
No kidding. I know we got worse than this.
Brett
You'd think the other system would have recognized the dollar sign.
Brady
Are the Bobs in charge of our new outfit here?
Brett
Well, they were definitely in charge of getting the new.
Brady
They've managed to ruin just about everything about RA Radio. Now they're wrecking the Internet, too.
Doug Hopkins
What about if it's over four digits? What if it hits the five digits?
John Holmberg
Well, that's fine. You can still do that.
Brady
Yeah, yeah, Brady, you just gotta figure out how to.
Brett
Then it's just the five.
Brady
The decimal doesn't mean appetite, John.
Doug Hopkins
That's why I.
Brady
No, no. Yeah. No. This one is four digits. Just so Brady doesn't go through. You know, start doing metrics and stuff.
Brett
And here's a hint, Brady, if it's three digits.
Brady
That's right.
Brett
Then it's just the thing.
Brady
One of them's the paper money anyway. One edamame, one California roll, one order of crab rangoons, one volcano chicken, one shrimp tempura roll, one outlaw roll. It was a good dinner. $3.32 service, $11. Dasher tip. Brady, what's your guess?
Doug Hopkins
9845.
Brady
9845. I will tell you this, Brady is inside of $19. One direction or the other. Not exactly 19, but inside of 19. So you can go 19 higher, 19 lower, and work your way back. So somewhere between 66 bucks and 104, that's where we're living. Not necessarily right in the middle either, but Brady was ready's in on it. All right, there you go. Text 97936. Your guess why? Because Doug Hopkins is going to give somebody $5,000 at U Fest. And anyone who qualifies today will get that call and be a champion. So there goes right in the middle of the Brady Report.
John Holmberg
Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett?
Michael
I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsme. You can select our designs or make up your own.
John Holmberg
Well, can you do this to my gun?
Michael
We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.
John Holmberg
Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com It's John Holmberg here.
Brady
Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug hopkins.com TV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online Doug hopkins.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins singers. Holmberg's morning sickness. We give you that. I'll give you the numbers again later. You'll have about an hour to figure this out. I don't know why we are now with a service that doesn't recognize decimal points. That sounds like, you know, we're going back to Linux. How in the world are we not? I watched the thing on 60 Minutes last night where they have AI that can now tell you everything just by looking at it. My Meta glasses are close. This thing was remarkable like, and it can write a story about like if you said, hey Meta, there's a mountain in front of me. What is it? It'll tell you the exact mountain and all this stuff. And can you write a story about the mountain and how it was formed and it was a Tuesday, it was raining. It's like, oh my God, it's immediate. We can't do decimal points on our text line, probably because it costs less because the Bob's have devastated the business into the ground where there's only like three good stations in the whole cluster. So they've got to save money at all costs. Decimal points are a penny each. Oh boy. Find me a service that doesn't do punctuation or decimal points and don't say thank you. You'll get a little kickback that says, hey, by the way. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Don't say thank you. That'll screw you right up. Adjust the number, nothing else. Otherwise our system will kick out. Otherwise you'll get a little text that says, hey, congratulations, you've entered. But that's if you get it right. That's only if you get it right. Yeah. If you miss it, you're not getting anything back. Yeah. All right.
Brett
You'll get a response.
Brady
You'll get a response. Once you're like, hey, nice job. And you and all the other people that get it right will then go into a drawing for today's winner. Go ahead, Brady.
Doug Hopkins
A new report says the first dates that involve something active like hiking or going to a concert are 25% more likely to lead to a second date than meetups at bars, restaurants, coffee shops.
John Holmberg
That's because you knock it out the first night.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
You know, come on.
Brady
You got her all swamped up, moving around. You can't, because in a bar or coffee place you have to rely on conversation. And 90 of people are terrible at it.
Doug Hopkins
The other thing that's happening on the dating websites is hat fishing.
Brady
If you wear a hat, you're bald.
Doug Hopkins
You're hiding it.
Brady
Yeah.
Doug Hopkins
So you totally got hat fished.
Brady
It's true.
Doug Hopkins
They're showing a bunch of profiles that are, you know, examples, guys always in hats.
Brady
It's true. As a. As a guy who went through balding, the hat was a very important part of my life for a long time. You wear a hat and that beautiful head of hair. Sorry, but you are hiding something.
John Holmberg
What am I hiding?
Brady
Well, you know. Yeah, you got a scar on your forehead from the fights he used to get into with other mobsters. He got knifed in the face. You should see the other guy. That's right.
Doug Hopkins
Man in New York admitted to starting a three alarm fire last week which damaged three homes and several cars after setting fire to some of his sex toys.
Brady
Oops.
Doug Hopkins
37 year old arsonist is a guy named Harry Torres. And he told the investigators he started the fire. He was in the backyard of his house and he lit two sex toys on fire. They say one of them was a rubber vagina.
John Holmberg
Wanted to cheat on him.
Brady
Yeah. Hey, who you been with?
Byron
I want to break up with you.
Brady
And my rubber vagina just says it wants out.
Byron
I packed on my bag all my lubricants. I just demand half. Sell the house and give me half.
Brady
No way. Rubber vagina. We're going to court. I'll meet you with your lawyers.
John Holmberg
What a great cartoon character.
Brady
The rubber vagina Started talking to the other vaginas. You don't treat me right. We never go out. All you want is sex.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Rubber Postinos.
Brady
Yeah. Yeah. Drinking rubber wine.
Byron
All I ever asks for is sex. Do girls get pampered? Sometimes mine pampers me, but just most of the time, I think that's what we're for, is sex. Well, I'm better than that.
Brady
I like our vagina cover spray. This is gonna go on for a second. Hold on.
Byron
Sometimes mine takes me with him to work.
Doug Hopkins
I'm about to light on fire.
Byron
Well, I'm gonna leave them. I can do better than this. Hell, if I just found a rubber dick, I'd be getting the same thing.
Brady
The Vagina Monologues. For real?
Doug Hopkins
A writer at the Wall Street Journal claims that nicknames are going extinct. He says he has five kids, kids ages 6 to 18. None of them have been given nicknames by their friends. He says none of their friends seem to have one for each other. He claims all types of nicknames are in decline, everything from junior to calling your buddy from Dallas, Tex. He thinks it's sad because nicknames are almost always a positive thing, a sign of affection. He says even his initials, AJ Or JD Seems less common, partly because parents take their kids names more seriously than they used to. His youngest kid has a friend named William, and none of them call him Billy.
Brady
Yeah, nicknames.
Doug Hopkins
I don't really notice that too much.
Brady
I played golf with a guy.
Doug Hopkins
Even on kids like Kirby, there's kids at the high school that have nicknames.
Brady
Sure. Played golf with a guy this weekend. His name was Richard Gass. I think he went by Rick, which is the proper one to go by. You go by the other one, you're Dick Gas, and that's trouble. Somebody just emailed and said, yeah, funny. As a girl, you always do the voice for the vagina. Do you have a voice for a penis, too? I think I do. How about this? Hey, girl, how you doing? You maybe want to go out and get some wine with me a little later on. That's right. Maybe do a little dancing around the house. I can watch you clean it.
Byron
That kind of gender identification.
Brady
Let's be honest, baby. You're a vagina. It's pretty obvious what you are. Come on now.
Byron
I came home last night.
John Holmberg
Kiss 12:30.
Brady
It's the Kiss 12:30, Dick.
Doug Hopkins
Last week, Red Robin announced they were selling the bottomless burger passes for 20 bucks for the month of May. You'd pay him 20 bucks. You'd get a burger every day.
Brady
Whether you Want it or not?
Doug Hopkins
Yeah. Whether you want. I mean, but you could go in every day.
Brady
Well, that's what I'm saying. Whether you want it or not. And you said, yeah, they're just chucking burgers at you. You asked for an.
Doug Hopkins
Yeah, if you flash that card.
Brady
Right. That's not whether you want it or not. If you go in and ask for a burger, you want one, I assume.
Doug Hopkins
Yeah, I'd hope so.
Brady
Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. So that's what I'm. I'm asking you this. I give them the $20, and every day there's a burger available for me, whether I want it or not.
Doug Hopkins
It instantly sold out.
Brady
Of course.
Doug Hopkins
Even worse, the website crashed.
Brett
Answering your question.
Brady
No, he's locked in.
Doug Hopkins
It's a burger card for 20 bucks for a month.
Brady
Right.
Doug Hopkins
Why do you want to get.
Brady
Why? Because all I said was, why are you getting all. Whether you want it or not? Do they deliver you a burger every day? Okay. That's what I was asking. Face get so goddamn grouchy over food talking. Food may have a story about it. Questions. We have questions.
Doug Hopkins
Yeah. You buy the card, go into the restaurant, and you flash from your car.
Brady
I didn't know if that meant, hey, every day you get a burger. Because you said every day, and I said, whether you want it or not. And you said yes. Yep.
Doug Hopkins
For him in the month of May.
Brady
Yeah, I'll see. No. No again, when you say yes to whether you want it or not, that means it's being given to you, not that you're going to get it. You see what I'm saying, right? So stop answering whether I want it or not with yes. Do you see it? You get a burger a day whether I want one or not. Yes. Well, that means you're bringing me burgers.
Doug Hopkins
All right.
Brady
How do you not see that? How is that beyond you?
Doug Hopkins
Well, I don't. What I don't understand is why does that bother you so much? Burger card.
Brady
Why is that such a time out? You're not listening. Because what's. What's bothering me is not the burger card.
Doug Hopkins
Yeah.
Brady
What's bothering me saying whether you want it or not. And you saying yes. Like, oh, so they bring you a burger every day. No. Well, that's not. Whether you want it or not.
Doug Hopkins
Yeah. No, I wasn't saying yes to that. Well, that's the question I asked, and you have to go in. I didn't know I had to explain the burger card for you.
Brady
That's why I said whether you want it or not? I was confused when you said yes. I'm like, oh, Christ, they're just gonna bring you burgers. It was a rhetorical. Really.
Doug Hopkins
That'd be nice.
Brady
And I don't get bothered by it. You have to listen to the questions and not get so locked into the dreamscape of Burgerland. Did you follow me?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
Thank you. Did it seem like when I said. Yeah. Did it seem like when I said whether you want it or not? When he said, yes.
Doug Hopkins
He doesn't even know about the story.
John Holmberg
What's the story?
Brady
How does he. I don't think you know about the story. What do you mean? He doesn't listen. What was the story?
John Holmberg
It was about the bottomless burgers from Red Robin.
Brady
What did I ask?
John Holmberg
You asked if it was whether you wanted or not.
Brady
What did Brady say? Sure. Yes. What does that mean?
John Holmberg
That means you're getting a burger whether you want it or not.
Brady
That's right. That's why the S was confusing.
Doug Hopkins
If you flash the card, you're getting a burger.
Brady
That's not whether you want it or not.
Doug Hopkins
Yeah. You don't flash the card. Don't flash the card. If you go in there, then you're.
Brady
Fighting your own stupidity in this one by not saying, oh, right, I get what you're saying. If I say whether you want it or not, and the answer is yes, you're getting a burger no matter what. Flash the card or not.
Doug Hopkins
Oh, you have to flash the card.
Brady
Right. And that's the opposite of the answer of whether you want it or not. The answer to whether you want it or not is no. You have to flash the card. That's different.
John Holmberg
Go get that shovel from the guy because you gotta dig this one out.
Brady
No, I'm gonna hit him in that like a Chihuahua. Beat him.
Doug Hopkins
Well, there's the story, everybody. Let's get to the radio videos.
Brady
John, it's not just you, says Dr. Jordan. Why does it hurt sometimes that Slap Jack. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Everybody's against you. That's right. That's right. Everyone's against you. Everyone's against you.
John Holmberg
Way to go, Slap Chat.
Brady
It's a conspiracy. It's a conspiracy. You didn't confuse me. You were confused. We straightened you out.
Doug Hopkins
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Hey, Byron, I was looking@mmpguns.com's website. You have everything. And the prices are incredible.
Michael
Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website. It's in stock and ready to ship.
John Holmberg
Wait, there's no backorders?
Michael
Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.
John Holmberg
Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP.
Brady
Guns.Com it's John Holmberg here. Seeing clear as a bell. Thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Good vision. It's imperative all the pro ball players in Town Trust Dr. J. Schwartz. And so do I. My experience, I went from seeing 24400 back to close to 2020 after my complimentary consultation with Dr. Schwartz. He put a plan together and got me seeing beautifully, clearly and vividly. You can do it too. Get rid of those glasses or contacts and get your consultation with Dr. Schwartz. Now. Go to schwartzlaser.com or call 480-483-Eyes Suns and Diamondbacks. Trust them. So should you go with the pros? Go. Schwartz Laser Eye Center.
Unknown
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Brady
Holmberg's morning sickness.
Brett
Okay, again with your snap response.
Brady
Stop saying yes to questions that aren't yes because it changes everything.
Doug Hopkins
Why?
Brady
If you confuse me and I said yes, it everything. I didn't confuse you. I asked you a question. You gave me an answer that wasn't. That made no sense.
Doug Hopkins
Well, you asked a question that didn't even be asked.
Brady
That's why. It was rhetorical and you answered it.
Doug Hopkins
It was stupid.
Brady
Yeah, I agree. That's your. You know what? It was the second stupidest thing in the room. It was a rhetorical question that you answered. And then I'm like, oh, then it's not rhetorical. It has an answer. Whether you want it or not was more just like a joke response. And you said, yep. I'm like, oh, Jesus, then they're just going to start handing burgers to you. Here we go. Yeah. We look over Azalea now and it's on fire. The answer to whether you want it or not changes with a yes. Because that means if I don't want it, you still get a burger. That's not flashing the card. Which is what I assumed in the beginning. Yeah, the joke thing. And you answered it? Yep.
Brett
What don't you understand?
Brady
Brett was with me.
Doug Hopkins
I didn't understand the question, I guess because what I was.
Brady
You answered it.
Doug Hopkins
That. That Whether you want it or not. No, of course not. That's not good.
Brady
You didn't say of course.
Doug Hopkins
I know.
Brady
You said, yep. And I'm like, oh, geez, this is a really bad promotion. Sounds like radio's behind it. Get that knock on your door. Well, Jesus, that's different. Somebody moved my stuff. No ring the bell this time. Is that burger you didn't want? Hey, I just signed. I thought I had to flash the card. Nope. Listen to Brady. They just show up whenever you aren't expecting.
Brett
I wanted the chicken fingers today.
Brady
This guy says, I have news is you can't. Yeah, right. Says I'm with Brady on this one. But I have to also let you know that I am a sufferer of severe brain damage. Thanks, Alvina. We straightened that up.
Doug Hopkins
Have we?
John Holmberg
Till next time.
Brady
Yep. Until this story. Go ahead.
Doug Hopkins
First radio video is the lady in the elevator. Two. Two ladies trying to get into the elevator. Don't read the.
Brett
Ready? The website.
Brady
Oh, my God. Whoa. Middle Eastern nonsense. They have elevators in the Middle East. Is that bigoted of me? Oh, there's no elevator where that door opens and down she goes. Oh, my God. Oh Lord.
Doug Hopkins
Her friend saved the door.
Byron
Yeah.
Doug Hopkins
But it didn't really stop it.
Brady
I haven't heard a thump yet. How high up are they now? There's an elevator there.
Doug Hopkins
So there's the elevator. Now watch.
Brady
They're not paying attention.
Doug Hopkins
And she puts a little flyer in there.
Brady
Oh, yeah. And now the elevator goes down, so it never opens.
Doug Hopkins
So it's going down.
Brady
Yeah, yeah. The elevator itself goes down. The door opens again. And then dummy walks right in. She's still not paying attention. Down she goes. Wow.
Brett
That's how they get rid of people over there.
Doug Hopkins
Next one's a guy walking across a. A log, but it's really a stick. He's thinking that it'll just bow enough and not break.
Brady
Like a branch. Yeah, not very thick. He's trying to walk over. Turn it. He's trying to walk over a ravine. That's further than. That's about a 30 foot.
Doug Hopkins
He's folded up in the corner. He's not moving.
Brady
He's dead in the mud pump. Mikey. Yeah, yeah. He's not going to come out of that.
John Holmberg
Oh, that was some hillbilly. I guess it's like an Irish guy.
Brady
Yeah. Max, Paul.
Doug Hopkins
Next.
Brady
By all means, keep filming that and do nothing. Yeah, that next pub is not going to get up anytime soon.
Doug Hopkins
Next one's the human boat bumper. You know when you're parking a boat and you put those little rubber stoppers so it doesn't damage the dock? Oh, damage your boat or damage the boat?
Brady
It's protecting damage. All right, scooch it into the slip. Oh, Jesus. The guy slips between the dock and the boat. Why did he do that? He just went running to the back of the boat, Flipped over the back of it.
Doug Hopkins
Stop it on the dock.
Brady
But he loses his grip there.
Doug Hopkins
No.
Brady
Oh, he just gets squished in. Scorpions between the dock and the boat that's slowly backing in. Well, that's the end of him walking. Yikes.
Doug Hopkins
The last one's a amateur bull fighting, and the guy gets a horn ride.
Brady
Oh, boy. Young guy running around in one of those everybody gets to play with the bulls days. Oh, it's got him by the butthole. Yeah, it picked him up by the butthole and carried him up there. There's a little. Good thing he's a KDKB listener, because it didn't hurt as much as it could have. That is in his ass and headbull is carrying him.
John Holmberg
That was. That was just your sweater party.
Brady
They do that every Friday now. I gotta hand it to him. I didn't think the ratings would go up with this kind of behavior, but sure did, man. Like the. The bulls thing that they're doing. I thought it was initially for the other side of their audience, but no, it turns out. All right, Brett, what do you got?
John Holmberg
All right, I'm mild today, so. Well, for the most part, Here's a little street action, but you kind of got to watch up in the corner.
Doug Hopkins
Which corner?
Brady
Right up in here with a tire falls off of a car and then go screaming down the road and takes a lady out from behind. Wow.
John Holmberg
And there's the truck.
Brady
And there's the truck without the tire. That's totally coming. Pulling up to apologize. You guys see a tire go through? You laying down lazy. Did you see a tire? Wow. Okay.
John Holmberg
Like I said, we're kind of mild to begin.
Brady
There's a lady on a horse. She's getting off properly. Her foot's stuck in the stirrup. Oh, the horse kicks her in the head for no reason. And she makes it. She gets right up. You know why? She's a soulless ginger. She's the ultimate redhead. Look at that.
John Holmberg
Holy cow.
Brady
He took one right in the chops. Hey, hand it to her. That she get.
John Holmberg
She got up.
Brady
Getting up from that is the most impressive part.
John Holmberg
All right, here's a dad coming to save his kid at school.
Brady
Taking on the bully dad. Dad corners the bully kids.
Doug Hopkins
No.
Brady
You want to pick on some more kids? He's not that much taller than the kid in question. Oh, he's right in this kid's face. Is this guy about to get attacked by a whole bunch of Chihuahuas?
Doug Hopkins
It's a girl, too.
Brady
I think the kid Chihuahuas are about to attack the adult. Oh, they pants him. They pants the dad, and he's not wearing any underpants. Oh, boy. Oh, they dork dad right in front of a bunch of.
John Holmberg
Now how do you come back from that?
Doug Hopkins
You don't. Yeah, now he's arrested.
Brady
Yeah, he probably has to go and show everybody his lower brains. It's not my choice to show the kids my wiener, but it has a.
John Holmberg
Nice OSHA safety video for you.
Brady
All right. Overhead shot of a. Looks like a forklift of some sort and trying to lift up some giant pallets. This is when you want furniture at ikea. This is exactly how you have to get it. That's why it's a pain in the ass.
Brett
Is it the guy without the hard.
Brady
Hat or there's two guys standing next to the lift. One guy in it. We've picked up a pretty narrow package. It's tall, and it's going to the top shelf, and it's right over the top of the other two guys. Oh, it falls right off the fork and right onto a guy, and he's. Oof. Man, oh, man. He's still under.
Doug Hopkins
He kind of deserves it.
John Holmberg
I got two more.
Brady
So too, if you're gonna be that stupid. Yeah, I'll just watch this thing hover above me for a minute. I'm gonna get out of the way.
John Holmberg
I got two more. I'll let you choose if you want to see the third world. Pedophilia cure.
Brady
No cure for pedophilia.
Brett
That's a hack job. Yeah, I don't want.
Brady
Oh, I don't want to see that.
John Holmberg
Then we'll skip that.
Brady
That's the punishment. Yeah. Oh, okay. No, I don't want to see that.
John Holmberg
Basically, skin it.
Brady
Oh, oh, now you're making that like a Grape. No, no, no.
John Holmberg
I can show it to you.
Brady
Yeah. So they caught this guy touching kids in some, and the whole city's out to see it, and they're carrying them around. Oh, my God. They've got his wiener out, and everybody wants a piece of this. Oh, God. They're pulling on it real, real hard. Oh, is the tool they're using.
Doug Hopkins
Oh, they're. They are.
Brady
They're skinning it. Oh, this is an arc form, to be so precise. The dude is not, like, sedated. He's fighting back, and there's still. There's no blood. And there's a mountain duke brought. Brought refreshment.
John Holmberg
And we'll end on a happier note with this one.
Brady
All right, here we go. Oh, got a tattoo. Oh, this is great. The guy has Pinocchio's face tattooed above his penis, and his nose is represented by the wiener and clearly is not telling the truth to this woman while she is doing things to a man's nose that shouldn't be done. He's not. He maybe not lying because nothing was really happening.
John Holmberg
So it will end there. Figure out. And on a happy note, after the third world pedophilia treatment.
Brady
That was pretty good. Okay. All right, we'll give you the Doug Hopkins numbers again in just seconds. You can text in your.
Brett
Your one person has gotten.
Brady
We got one win. Well, that's sometimes. And a thousand.
John Holmberg
You need to text it. Don't email it to us. Not email. It's text.
Brady
Text. I'll give it to you one more time. Sushi Brokers. One edamame, one California roll, one crab rangoons, one volcano chicken, one shrimp tempura roll, and one outlaw roll. 3.32 service fee tipped 11 bucks. So add in 1332 to whatever you think with that. Plus, you got to do the taxes somewhere between what I say. $104 66 bucks. Somewhere in that big $40 range there. How about that? Good luck to you. Text 97936. You put in the. The price you think it is, and maybe you'll be standing on stage at You Fest on May 3, and Doug Hopkins will be giving you a check for five grand just for guessing the Doug Hopkins price game. How about that? 97936. That's the number. No decimal points on your guess either. Evidently, we can't.
Brett
Decimal points, no dollar signs. Just. Just a number.
Brady
Can't afford anything with that. Or the very. It's very crude Russian formula we're using here. There goes your Brady report.
Brett
It's not weird.
Doug Hopkins
It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees.
Brady
I have heard enough of this. Prestige Billiards has everything you need for your game room from top of the line pool tables to billiard balls and everything in between. This includes game room furniture, air hockey, dartboards, ping pong tables, arcade games and much more. Prestige Billiards is family owned and operated and is dedicated to providing the very best quality products and service. Prestige Billiards has five star ratings on Yelp and financing is available. Check them out at Prestige Billiards AZ.com or in person at one of their three locations in Mesa, Scottsdale and now Glendale. Prestige Billiards delivers statewide and tell them John Holmberg sent you. It's John Holbrook here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for this week's Pick of the Litter. Brought to you by our friends at Turf monsters. Go to turfmonstersaz.com they help us out at Lost Our Home Pet Rescue. We appreciate them greatly. This week's Pick of the Litter is a project. It's Jep. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees right now. It's this week. Pick of the Litter. It's Jep. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: April 21, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
In the April 21, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, the hosts engage listeners with a mix of humorous banter, intriguing polls, and shocking news stories. The episode covers a variety of topics, including the curious results of a poll on the Easter Bunny's gender, a startling incident involving a New York man and a three-alarm fire, and an in-depth discussion about Red Robin's enticing bottomless burger promotion. Below is a detailed breakdown of the episode's key points and discussions.
At [06:37], the hosts delve into the results of a recent poll that questioned listeners about the Easter Bunny's gender. According to Doug Hopkins, the poll garnered responses from 5,000 individuals, revealing that:
Brady Bogen speculates, "[07:00] I'm only going to say it's a man because when he was invented it probably would have been. You know, only a guy would do this job."
The discussion explores the origins of the Easter Bunny, tracing back to 1692 when a German scholar documented an egg-laying hare, suggesting a more feminine role. However, modern interpretations and marketing have predominantly cast the Easter Bunny as male, leading to the poll's outcome.
John Holmberg muses at [07:46], "Now, if he's laying the eggs, Easter Bunny's a girl. Yeah, it's a good..."
This segment highlights the evolving perceptions of traditional symbols and how cultural shifts influence our understanding of iconic figures.
At [16:08], the episode takes a darker turn with a news report about Harry Torres, a 37-year-old man from New York, who admitted to starting a three-alarm fire. The incident occurred in his backyard when he set fire to sex toys, including a rubber vagina. This reckless act resulted in significant property damage, engulfing three homes and several cars.
Doug Hopkins narrates, "[16:20] 37-year old arsonist is a guy named Harry Torres. And he told the investigators he started the fire. He was in the backyard of his house and he lit two sex toys on fire. They say one of them was a rubber vagina."
The hosts react with a mix of disbelief and humor, as Brady personifies the inanimate objects involved:
Brady humorously adds at [16:39], "Yeah. Hey, who you been with?"
This story serves as both a cautionary tale about irresponsible behavior and a reminder of the unexpected ways personal actions can lead to widespread consequences.
One of the episode's highlights is Brady's Snap Answers, where he introduces a segment involving a promotion from Red Robin. At [30:39], Doug Hopkins shares a new offer:
Doug states, "[30:39] Last week, Red Robin announced they were selling the bottomless burger passes for 20 bucks for the month of May. You'd pay him 20 bucks. You'd get a burger every day."
Brady expresses confusion over the promotion's wording:
Brady questions, "[20:15] … whether you want it or not? I mean, but you could go in every day."
The ensuing conversation reveals a misunderstanding of the promotion's terms, leading to humorous exchanges about whether the burgers are automatically provided or only upon request. The hosts discuss the technicalities of the promotion, emphasizing the importance of clear communication in marketing.
At [23:05], John Holmberg summarizes the confusion: "It was about the bottomless burgers from Red Robin."
The segment not only entertains but also encourages listeners to pay closer attention to promotional details to avoid misconceptions.
Beyond the main topics, the episode features various lighter discussions and humorous exchanges:
Nicknames Decline: Doug shares a report from the Wall Street Journal about the decline of nicknames among children, sparking a discussion on the importance of nicknames as a sign of affection. [17:28]
Chihuahuas and Humor: Brady and Doug engage in a playful debate about Chihuahuas, comparing them to "the Irish of dogs," highlighting their spirited nature. [03:00]
Radio Promotions: The hosts discuss ongoing promotions, including a chance to win $5,000 by guessing the total of a restaurant bill, incorporating interactive elements to engage listeners. [06:37]
Radio Videos: The latter part of the episode includes humorous commentary on various radio videos depicting amusing or bizarre incidents, such as a man attempting to navigate a faulty elevator and a humorous take on a bull-riding mishap. [28:00 – 35:28]
These segments showcase the show's blend of humor, community interaction, and topical discussions, maintaining an entertaining atmosphere throughout the broadcast.
The April 21, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness successfully balances serious news stories with light-hearted banter and interactive segments. By addressing topics ranging from cultural polls to unexpected arson incidents, the hosts provide a multifaceted listening experience. Notable quotes, such as Brady's musings on gender roles and the humorous interpretations of everyday mishaps, add depth and engagement to the discussions.
Listeners are reminded of the show's commitment to entertaining and challenging perspectives, all while fostering a sense of community through shared stories and interactive promotions. Whether debating the gender of mythical creatures or navigating the nuances of restaurant promotions, Holmberg's Morning Sickness continues to be a staple for Arizona's morning radio audience.