04-29-25 - Listeners Keep Sending In Emails About How They Just Put Down Their Beloved Pets - 165 Underage Patrons Cited At Small Tempe Bar Making Us Wonder How Stupid Is This Generation

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (04-29-25)

Podcast Information:

• Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
• Host/Author: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
• Release Date: April 29, 2025
• Description: Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD is Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show. John Holmberg attempts to entertain, question, and disturb as many listeners as possible with assistance from Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. Tune in or log onto 98KUPD (97.9fm, the 98KUPD app or www.98kupd.com) weekdays 5:30a-10a.

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1. Overwhelming Listener Emails About Pet Euthanasia

Timestamp: [01:48] - [12:32]

The episode opens with John Holmberg expressing his emotional burden from the influx of listener emails about recently putting down beloved pets. He contemplates creating a dedicated podcast segment to address these heartfelt messages but ultimately decides against it due to the repetitive and emotionally draining nature of the content.

• John Holmberg: "I'd have to do my own segment of like would have to be a segment every day of people emailing me telling me that they've just put their dog or cat down." [02:32]

Brett shares personal anecdotes about his own experiences with pet loss, emphasizing the deep emotional toll it takes on both pet owners and himself as a host. The conversation highlights the importance of genuine empathy and the challenges of providing heartfelt responses when faced with a high volume of similar emotional messages.

• Brett Vesely: "I wake up every morning with people telling me about their dad." [02:45]
• Brett Vesely: "Here's the problem... It seems insincere."[06:53]

2. Mass Citation of Underage Patrons at Tempe Tavern

Timestamp: [24:54] - [51:37]

The discussion shifts to a significant local incident where 165 underage patrons were cited during a police raid at a Tempe bar, later identified as the Tempe Tavern. The hosts delve into the apparent incompetence and poor decision-making exhibited by the underage individuals, criticizing their failure to evade law enforcement during the raid.

• Brett Vesely: "How stupid is this generation." [Date Context: Discussing the 165 citations]

The hosts analyze possible reasons behind the patrons' lack of action, pondering whether it stems from generational shortcomings or inadequate guidance from parents. They express frustration over the young individuals' inability to respond effectively in high-pressure situations, labeling their actions as careless and foolish.

• Brett Vesely: "I'm punching you directly in the face. We're going to start a fist fight." [47:10]

The conversation extends to parental influence, or the lack thereof, suggesting that absent or ineffective parental figures contribute to the youth's poor choices. The hosts debate the role of upbringing in fostering responsibility and quick thinking among teenagers and young adults.

• Brett Vesely: "They didn't have a dad to give you the grief and then walk in later and say, why didn't you run?" [37:59]

3. Broader Commentary on Youth Behavior and Responsibility

Timestamp: [52:44] - [57:22]

Expanding beyond the specific incident, the hosts engage in a broader critique of current youth behavior, questioning the intelligence and decision-making capabilities of teenagers and young adults today. They juxtapose their own experiences with those of the younger generation, suggesting a decline in critical thinking and personal responsibility.

• Brett Vesely: "These are children. They're friends. My mom wouldn't have gone out and fought for me." [36:33]

The hosts share personal stories and hypothetical scenarios to illustrate their points, emphasizing the importance of mentorship and strong parental figures in shaping responsible individuals. They express skepticism about the current generation's ability to handle challenging situations effectively.

• Brett Vesely: "If you can't run, hide. Go into the bathroom and hide." [49:20]

4. Reflections and Emotional Toll on the Hosts

Timestamp: [09:16] - [12:32]

Throughout the discussions, the hosts reflect on the emotional impact these topics have on them personally. John Holmberg, in particular, grapples with the emotional weight of reading numerous bereavement emails, highlighting the delicate balance between maintaining professionalism and showing genuine empathy.

• Brett Vesely: "I have no idea what you're going through. Never had to deal with that. And I never want to." [09:16]

This introspection underscores the challenges faced by radio hosts in handling sensitive listener issues while maintaining an engaging and balanced show.

Notable Quotes:

1. John Holmberg: "I'd have to do my own segment of like would have to be a segment every day of people emailing me telling me that they've just put their dog or cat down." [02:32]

2. Brett Vesely: "I'm punching you directly in the face. We're going to start a fist fight." [47:10]

3. Brett Vesely: "If you can't run, hide. Go into the bathroom and hide." [49:20]

4. Brett Vesely: "These are children. They're friends. My mom wouldn't have gone out and fought for me." [36:33]

5. Brett Vesely: "I wake up every morning with people telling me about their dad." [02:45]

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Conclusion:

In this emotionally charged episode, Holmberg's Morning Sickness delves into two significant issues affecting their Arizona community: the emotional strain of pet loss among listeners and a concerning incident of mass citations at a local bar. The hosts offer a mix of empathy, personal anecdotes, and critical analysis, reflecting on broader societal trends and the responsibilities of both youth and parents. Their candid discussions provide listeners with insightful perspectives while maintaining the show's characteristic blend of humor and seriousness.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brady]

All right, HMS Podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it and you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you. All this for the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years. Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, DeWalt and more. They also specialize in tool repair including hydraulics like Burndy and commercial electric contractor tools, as well as having a state of the art on site glove testing facility. Visit Fisher Tools in store or [e-mail] and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order. Fisher Tools brands you know, service you trust.

[Larry McFeely]

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[Wayne]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[Wayne]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[Wayne]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[Brady]

A whole lot more.

[Brett]

Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John, There's Brady and Brett and Toledo. And away we go with yet another glorious day here in paradise. I have to say my emails load up as I check them and I can't say every time I want to. I'd have to do my own segment of like would have to be a segment every day of people emailing me telling me that they've just put their dog or cat down. I get a lot of that and I want to. You know what? I might just start a podcast Where I just. Like an obituary section where I just read off your emails about your dog. Part of me is, like, touched that you guys would tell me this, and trust me, it hits home every time. Also, knock it off. That's depressing. I wake up every morning with people telling me about their dad.

[Toledo]

Keep it to yourself.

[Brett]

Damn it. He's showing me these pictures, these beautiful animals, and it's like, oh, it's 14. It was the greatest. My best friend. I'm like, oh, my God. I got my own. I got five of them at my house. I got a mausoleum in my home of dog ashes and little pictures, and it's the saddest thing in the world.

[Toledo]

I think I heard this morning that it wasn't. The dog didn't die. It was missing for 500 days.

[Brett]

Yeah, I just read that story just now in a place called, like, Rabbit island or something crazy. Like, yeah, the dog is. Survived two years, a dachshund. And then, you know, there's the other one that was out there in the desert here in Arizona just recently that survived for, like, days and days. And they just brought it back, and it looked at its buddy at home, showed the two dogs together. The other one's looking. I'm like, you dumb? Where'd you go? Yeah, I want to walk about, man. I had to get out of here for a little bit. Sorry. It's like, he's a burnout, the dog, man. I just need to take a few hours. I don't need no job or some guy breathing down my neck all the time, man. So I'm gonna poop outside. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna explore. But, yeah, it's. Look, I'm not. I'm not saying stop completely on this, but I just. There were, like, nine. There's a lot. And I know what happened. Give us a break, you know? And the pictures, your dogs are all so cute. Damn it. And you're all heartbroken, and I would love to say the right thing, but you know what's sad about it? Here's the problem. Here's the true problem with that. And this isn't me trying to be insensitive. It's just me being open with you. I start writing the same thing to the next guy after about 4, I realize I'm going down. I'm like, I. I. And that. And that seems. And it seems insincere. That seemed very prattish to do, you.

[Toledo]

Know, you got your AI response ready.

[Brett]

It. Yeah, it starts to feel like, oh, I'm just You know, it's after, you know, you feel bad if you. I learned this when I was. I was the firing guy at Tony Roma's back in the way back. And they, like, you. You will let people go if we have. From, like, sure. Like, I was 21. What did I. I didn't know anything about life or, you know, people having any feelings towards a job. I didn't care if I got fired, so why would they. So I'd sit people down. The first. First time I had to fire a mom, she was young, and she had a little kid. This job was something to her, but she was terrible at it. So I had to sit down and say, hey, we're a different direction here. And I felt awful. Like, I was. We went through a spell where I had to fire, like, seven people. By the sixth one, I was like, get out of here. I was fine. It was like. There was nothing. There was no emotion. I was just pumping her out of there. You, door, go. I don't want to be that. I don't want to be that. There's been a rash of. It's the car wash thing. Yeah.

[Toledo]

So bottom line is your response. Do you mean it?

[Brett]

Oh, I completely mean it. I know, but I found in the. That I started to kind of write the same thing.

[Toledo]

But I think we do. We do that to ourselves a lot of times, because you don't realize, you know, that's the words that the person that you're writing to is the first time they're hearing that.

[Brett]

Exactly. And I have to remember that the reader is like, oh, that was very heartfelt. And then I have to realize, is it heartfelt? Am I? And, you know, and there's only so many.

[Toledo]

I mean, it's like, what do you say sometimes?

[Brett]

And I.

[Toledo]

You know, that's why they always say, like, well, just try to make it come from your heart.

[Brett]

Yeah, but if it came from your heart, from the last guy, you're like, I'll just borrow from my heart off that last year, like, the form letter. You're right. Yeah. When the first guy. The first guy in this. This group of nine this morning, you got a nice heartfelt. Like, oh, I feel terrible. And then I'm like, oh, my God, another one. And then the picture.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, copy paste.

[Brett]

And then I started to be like, you know, I think I said that last guy was pretty good. And then I just went into the third. My third one. And then I'm like, there's a bunch of them.

[Toledo]

As long as you don't say the Wrong. You know, you know, the wrong name.

[Brett]

I don't. Yeah. And there's the other thing I'm not using. I have to go back and check names.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, Cleveland.

[Brett]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It starts to become like you. We love your city. Like, huh. You don't know where. I don't know where we are anyway. I just. Not that I don't have the paranoia.

[Toledo]

Of getting caught in the thoughts and prayers.

[Brett]

Yes. Yeah, the thoughts and prayers, you know, for people.

[Toledo]

That is still nice to hear for some.

[Brett]

Yeah. I've never once thought thoughts. I think thoughts and prayers. Not as lazy as it gets.

[Toledo]

And a lot of times I don't think about.

[Brett]

It's the easy way out. It's like, oh, hearts and prayers. Like, that's not.

[Toledo]

But it's more about that person reaching out to you than. Than what they're saying.

[Brett]

If they reach out.

[John Holmberg]

It is.

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a little different to just thank.

[Toledo]

You for the gesture, even though it is. Do I think they mean that? Yes, I do.

[Brett]

I think thoughts and prayers are, like, when you say something like that, it's. It's personal. Like if I called you and I said, hey, man, our thoughts are with you. Yeah, that's different because it's friendship. But when somebody hears a story and their reaction online. Oh, thoughts and prayers go out to family. You know, we started the tease and. Right, the tease and peace go out to the family. I've done absolutely. You know, Jeselnet, we talked about it years ago, and then Anthony Jesel neck put it in a perfect way and just said, it's literally the bare minimum of what you can do. I made a thought and a prayer. I made a wish. I threw up. It's like saying, I'm throwing a penny in a well for you. You'd be upset at that if somebody said, hey, you're about Brady's whole, you know, dilemma. I threw some pennies in a well for you. I took brick. Well, that's the same thing as pray. And I just. I just.

[Toledo]

I thought about your 30 seconds.

[Brett]

Yeah. I gave pot. Doing it now and then chuck dimes into the fountain at the mall. Thinking about. I was wishing it would go away. So anyway, that's what I did. Oh. So, you know, you're welcome. Hey, Penny. Just make sure Brady doesn't kill himself. That's. I wish that Brady wouldn't kill himself. Yeah, but you do find that to be the thing. But I do have the I do feel. I do feel it. If I do write back to you, it is I feel it. I just did. I. Like, that's too many in a bunch, and you guys can't control that. You don't know that. There's eight other people writing that they lost their dog in the last couple days. And problem was, I went through the weekend's emails. I went back and scoured some of the. I'm like, oh, my God, this was a rough weekend for the euthanasia departments. And I'm like, oh, it's heartbreaking.

[John Holmberg]

So maybe we should just limit it to Wednesdays or something. Only send them in on Wednesdays, even if you're a couple days off. Well, it's midweek. Who cares? You know, you don't want to do it on a Friday. You don't want to start your week with it.

[Brett]

Oh, boy. I tell you, you're not wrong. I don't want my weekends to be like, jesus, everybody killed their dog this week, right?

[Toledo]

Had a great time in Vegas.

[Brett]

I was in Vegas around pretending to be on Molly and laughing with friends of mine. And everybody else. Yeah, everybody else was killing their dog. You know, who needs to hear about this, Holmberg? My God. But I do. I. You know, I'll eat that. I'll take that bird. I'm like, jesus, Brady, you know this. I'm taking on all of this.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I saw you walking on water earlier.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know. And that was too. Well, let's just show off. Hanging out with hookers, walking on water. That's what I do.

[John Holmberg]

Is that Molly?

[Brett]

It is. It's all that Molly. So anyway, I. I didn't. I didn't want that to be a. I don't want to. I don't want you to think that it's insincere, but I have to be honest with myself and say, oh, my God, I. I would love to be the. The voice that you hear that calms you, but I don't know that I'm any good at that stuff. You're asking a jackass who likes fart jokes too much to turn on the. The fart jokes. And then I got to do fart jokes now for. For four and a half hours. We got to do. And on my mind, all I'm thinking about is all the sad people, because I know. I know how miserable it is. I know that. It's just. And it's. And it hurts for a long time. There's a lot of people out there, so I am. You know, and then I always say to the thing, you're like, you know what? My dogs get extra treats Tonight, my dogs are going to get so fat if you guys keep writing these letters. You got. And I went home yesterday, because I got a few yesterday. And then this morning, I'm like, geez, there's a bunch of them. And I did actually make a note to myself to say, but I did a homogenized one. You guys are all getting cookies in honor of the people that have been contacting me this morning. I go back and I look and I'm like, there's nine of them. There were nine of those. And I woke up to a bunch more. I'm like, Jesus. So it's the pictures that kept me. Could you imagine if that was, like, babies or grandmas? Every time, you know, you guys just picture my grandma and she's. They get like, loads of that. Like, oh, my dear Jesus. Like, don't show me that. Like, if it was a baby epidemic of putting babies down and I got pictures of that. How horrible your day would be on another person. Exactly what you would tell.

[Toledo]

There's different Greece. I was just thinking, you know, imagine that. And the ones that you hear, it's like, after this weekend, it's like, oh, yeah, my son was plowed in that car that ran through the festival.

[Brett]

Yeah. Oh, there were. Oh, there were a couple of them that weren't euthanized. One dude emailed me, this dog was just dead when he woke up four years old. Oh, I'm like, oh, my God. Like, And I just start. I have no idea what you're going through. Never had to deal with that. And I never want to.

[John Holmberg]

Having to find.

[Brett]

Just wake up. Like, this one won't get up. Like, oh, my. And it's four. Like. You know, you think you're gonna get at least eight or nine years out of a dog. For sure.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's just worse because it's like, you can't say your goodbyes.

[Brett]

Yeah. You can't do anything.

[John Holmberg]

I wake up and it's just like.

[Brett]

Oh, didn't even know anything was wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So anyway, what a depressing way to see. Now I'm doing it. Back to you guys. You start Good morning this morning, check your dog, get in there, shake it, Put a mirror under his nose. Yeah. It's just. It happens. We all have to deal with it. That's the. That's the glory of them and that's the pain of them, is that they give us all they got, but they only got a little time. They give us everything they've got, but it isn't a long run. So you gotta brace yourself because chances of you outliving them are pretty damn high anyway. What are you going to do now? Let's get into something more delightful because it's depressed me, I don't like. I don't like waking up at, you know, God's out. Oh, I did stay up pretty late last night. I got two hours last night. I got a little nap in the middle. It was pretty good. Watching a little Blockbusters and getting some TV in there. Oh, I watched a great murder mystery about God. What was that one? It was an evil lives here. A Swedish lady goes on. She's kind of pretty, but she's got the weirdest body I've ever seen. And she sits down and she's just looking at the camera and. And then they just start flashing headlines from newspapers in front of her. And she's just staring at the camp and she goes, my name's blah, blah, blah. And my father was a cannibal and a serial killer in Sweden. And he's not in jail. And she sits down with this lunatic and talks with him. It's amazing. He axe murdered her stepmom, slash his girlfriend and then started to eat her. She's just a little girl. Jesus. And they show the clothes and the axe and all the stuff and I'm like, oh, I'm eating popcorn and enjoying the hell out of this thing. I'm like, this is horrible. That's one of the best episodes I've ever watched. This guy, when he said he. When he said it wasn't murder, did not murder her. And they're like, you hit her in the head with. You cut her head off with a. An ax and then started to saw it and then eat. And then on the phone called 91 1. He said he was cooking her as they spin. I'm gonna eat some of this and then you guys come get me and we'll do something about it. I don't even remember how he got out of it because I was dozing in and out. But he goes, not murder. And the guy goes, you killed her with an axe? Well, yeah, that like, you know, it wasn't murder. It's not murder. It was a message. And his whole head's tattooed face. Naki looks crazy. Great stuff. That'll keep you up. That'll keep you up late.

[John Holmberg]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at M&P guns.com.

[Brett]

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[Doug Hopkins]

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[Brett]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Toledo]

It was tough to watch TV last night or any of that because I found out Travis Kelce unfollowed Ryan Reynolds.

[Brett]

Oh no. Oh my God.

[Toledo]

Good, Steve.

[Brett]

What's the world coming to? Never mind. Send me more dog emails. That's terrifying. Was it because Trump took a swing at with the Eagles at the White House? He took a swing at his girlfriend.

[Toledo]

It's just this whole, you know, Blake Lively.

[Brett]

You got to get into it.

[Toledo]

I want to get in the middle of this.

[Brett]

In the world's most boring soap opera of nobody cares. Blake Lively drama, a C list celebrity and Justin Baldini, a guy no one had ever heard of really, until this thing evidently directs and stars and things. Yeah, nobody cares. Trump at the with the Eagles at the White House. People are mad at Saquon Barkley for going and hanging out with them a little bit extra. And.

[Toledo]

But Jalen hurts. And a couple not go, yeah, well, that's fine.

[Brett]

You don't have to. But the guys that went were enjoying themselves. And now people, we're back in this. It didn't last long. We're back in. If you hang out with them, people hate you. Like, Saquon Barkley can't hang out with the President of the United States if he disagrees with him. Like, just two weeks ago, everybody's kind of like, the Bill Maher thing's a good idea. Now it's like Saquon Barkley, people threatening to burn his jersey. And I don't want anything to do with him. Like, so he's not. He doesn't have to think the same as you at all. You said Ms. Pat kind of did that in her comedy thing over the week. The last 20 minutes was like, everybody has a voice. Everybody has a free thought. Everybody can do what they want. Unless you think differently than me. Right. Because her whole thing was about hating Trump and anybody who likes him. And she was great.

[John Holmberg]

She was hilarious.

[Brett]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

Then I'm like, kind of like, all right.

[Brett]

Really started to tell everybody, if you don't think the same as me, you shouldn't have laughed at any of these jokes. I don't want anything to do with you. But then Barkley and Trump are hanging out. And then the best part is, is that during his speech about the Eagles, you know, normally it's a president that just makes a dumb joke. Boy, I could use you against those Iranians. I could use you and blah, blah. That's stupid crap, Trump. It was a rough day for Taylor Swift. When you guys went in there, I, you know, I was there and got a huge applause. I was actually on Super Bowl. She got booed by almost everybody. By the MAGA doesn't forget. MAGA does not forget. Like, this is not about the Eagles right now. Just say, congratulations. Do what Biden did. Put the helmet on. Get lost in it for a second. Biden was. Biden was the one I want as the forever meets the super bowl or championship teams. Because when he stuck that helmet on that old man head and could not get it off and just. Just resigned himself to living inside a chief's helmet for the rest of his life. Till he kind of. Somebody helped him. Put this on my head. Just put it look nice.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And then he just rattled around and it's like he's in his mind. He's like, this is a cage I live in now forever. He Was not getting that off. You know, Trump wasn't going to put a helmet on. Biden did ridic. That was my favorite one. When Biden popped the helmet on, that was my favorite one.

[Toledo]

I forgot about that.

[Brett]

Oh, it was great. But Trump just is like, hi, Eagles. Listen. So a lot of this is gonna be about me. Taylor Swift. A lot of people like her. Not at the Super Bowl. Nobody did. And her boyfriend is Travis Kelce. How's that working out? Because he didn't vote for. He, like, made it clear. He's Travis Kelsey. How'd that work out? Your team got. Got clubbed, your girlfriend got booed. I didn't. The Eagles won, and here they are.

[John Holmberg]

Be interesting to see if the Chiefs show up there next year.

[Brett]

That was. I mean, he took a swing at.

[Toledo]

It's time for them to have a little dinner.

[Brett]

They might have to sit on heaven. That was a pretty awesome one. When Taylor. For no reason, Taylor Swift gets punched right in the nose with the Eagle. Celebration at the White House. Yeah, we got to get over this. We got to get over this hole. My guy's hanging out with your guy, and that means nobody can like each other. I had a friend of mine in Vegas this weekend say that she's not going to travel anymore overseas because she's worried about being deported and never being allowed back in the country. And I'm like, is that a real fear? I didn't.

[Toledo]

Sounds like it is.

[Brett]

No, it is. I won't travel overseas anymore. It's. They'll deport me. I'm like, well, you're the one doing the deporting. Like, you're. Where are you going to end up? She goes, I don't want to go to El Salvador. She's Asian, for God's sake. She goes, yeah, but I look Mexican and my last name is kind of. And it does. Her last name does seem Mexican. And then we just teased her the whole time about it, but, like, we were gonna call ice on her anytime she did anything wrong. We really do fear it. That's your. It's deranged. Nobody coming for you. And I'm. So. I guess my black friend Joe's like, you don't know what it's like. I'm like, you're right. I'm white. I don't ever think about these. This doesn't. I've never once gone through. I told him. Said to Joe, I'm like, what's it like? He said, I drive by the police. I get my camera out just in case. So it Lives with you. And I'm like, I drive by and I wave. Great job today, officer. Thanks for everything. You bet, citizen. Yeah, we don't do that. I'm like, well, try it. Maybe it would help. He just looked at me like I was crazy. She literally thought that. I'm like, I don't know if that's real. And then I started to wonder, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm blind to the idea that everybody's getting deported. I haven't seen any evidence of it. The ones getting deported seem like, yeah, say for that one guy we goofed up on paperwork. It's pretty much a deportation sound.

[Toledo]

Like, yeah, I hear both sides, but you hear the background of one. Like really?

[Brett]

Yeah. Right. But depends on who you're watching. So.

[Toledo]

Right.

[Brett]

You know, it's like, if that's the case, you see the pictures in the White House lawn now, Trump lineup. Trump's a mother effort. Like he put all of the people that have been deported that are serious crimes, their names, their picture and the crime they've committed. And it's right where the, the media has to stand to do their hits on the White House. So you are being made aware of bad guy after bad guy that has been kicked out of the country while you sit and bash. You know that? And so he's.

[John Holmberg]

It's, it's like going to the Rebel Lounge and seeing tour posters all over the, all over the venue.

[Brett]

Wow. It's a flex.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

And you know, it costs some money to get all those out there, but it's more of a point taken. It said, okay, we get it. Swing. Swing your dick a little bit. Right, Right. But not everybody's like, nope, all of them. Every one of them. I can prove it with a photo and their crime. And it was like, man, that's a, it's a pretty impressive lineup. But yeah, I'm not seeing that my friend Erica is gonna get deported if she travels over to Spain or something if that starts happening. I think we notice pretty regularly that a lady with a Fendi purse and a Rolls Royce, she's probably not necessarily the target, but if she is, then we can all start worrying. And by the way, here's the thing I wanted to talk about before all the dog death and all that. Brady, you have a 16 year old daughter. Toledo's got that boy. He's like 19. Have you noticed their friends? And they're the. This is, I'm going to say it. And this is an old man talk. I'm pretty sure 16 to 19 might be the. This is the dumbest we've ever been since like cave days from 16 to 19. Have you noticed that Kirby's friends, especially the boys, are just flat out dumb? Even though we know we were dumb. Like they might be the dumbest group ever. And I've got proof. Yes.

[Alex]

Thank you, Brad.

[Brett]

Thank you, Brad. You're right. You look at them like, and you wonder when you get to my age, you start to wonder, is this how you just feel about people who are in their teens?

[Toledo]

And I think you little of that.

[Brett]

But I think that.

[Toledo]

But there's 20 year old. There's more head scratch.

[Brett]

I pretty sure even 20 year olds see teenage kids now. It's like, are you. Are you guys this dumb? I didn't. Here's the reason I say it. Police just raided a bar that has not been named on McClintock and Apache Boulevard.

[John Holmberg]

I think I know that bar.

[Brett]

Yeah. They didn't say the name of the bar. There's one called Tempe Tavern.

[John Holmberg]

That's. I think that's the only one that's there.

[Brett]

I don't know. 173 people were arrested. 165 were underage. Prom was booming, you know, and I know Brett Toledo. I'm not so sure about how it worked in Montana. I assume you just had Olympia in your hand since you were six.

[Alex]

Pretty much.

[Brett]

When you. Yeah. When you go to a bar in Tempe when you were underage and you noticed that like there were four other underage guys there, you're like, some of us have to go. Yeah, we can't all do this. You can't have multiple. And so if you are there and you're like, there's like 25 people. This place is. Is ripe for trouble parties. Like house parties. You knew the second a red light flash to run down. Too many of us. Yeah, there's too many of us. 165 in a bar.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Well, I mean, I remember growing up there was a place that was known to like, hey, if you go in there, they'll let you in.

[Brett]

Yep.

[Toledo]

And Cat's Pond.

[Brett]

But yeah, there's always one near you.

[Toledo]

It's Papa Joe's. But that, you know, you could have 400 plus people in there.

[Brady]

Right.

[Brett]

And if all of them were underage, you might look around and go, we're in trouble.

[Toledo]

Room for eight more people.

[Brett]

Word got out because the dummy spread it.

[Alex]

Yep.

[Brett]

And they all went together. What happened to you guys that if you're gonna do something, only like six or I get like six or sevens too many. When we would underage drink in bars, the nerves were on high. Now if I went in and saw like, 12 or 13 of my friends, I'd be like, what is going on?

[John Holmberg]

I'm out of here.

[Brett]

I'm leaving. This is. This is. We're going to get caught.

[Alex]

They haven't gotten that because Alex and his buddies got a group rate on fake IDs.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Alex]

They got on the Internet.

[Brett]

Yeah. Tons of them had fake ID.

[Alex]

And they're really good IDs. Like, they're like. Maybe we had to lift up the.

[Brett]

The. The laminate.

[Alex]

Laminate on ours were like, slide in.

[Brett]

Sure.

[Alex]

Slide in A new picture and all that.

[Brett]

Or a Dr. Terry. Yeah. A friend's. A brother. Had the old idea. When they turned. They turned 21, so their old ID, like, you could have it. And.

[Alex]

And then they started in this state. They started flipping them. Remember the. The.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's. There's one's horizontal and vertical. Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm. Maybe I'm coming down on them a little heavy. Because the fake IDs now are so good. And they're actually you. Because our fake IDs were Alex's picture. Yeah.

[Alex]

And it's an address in, like, Oregon, I think, is what he's got, an Oregon id.

[Brett]

My first one, because I had that watermelon head and that tiny, skinny body was a dude named. His name was Mark Kessler, and he was a couple years older than me. And he had his second ID because he got a new one he gave to me. And this was before they flipped them or made you get the one that didn't say under 21. We didn't have that. He's got a driver's license just like old people did. And then when he got a new driver's license, for some reason you would. And that was about. You had to get driver's license every four years.

[Alex]

Yep.

[Brett]

So he handed me his old one. Now, Mark was bigger than me, but we were both blonde and had mullets. We. You know, if the bouncer was black, I'm getting in. We all looked alike. So I remember taking this thing. But mark was about 195 pounds. And at the time, I was probably. Well, no, that's. I was probably about that. I still looked wrong. I just looked like I was poorly drawn. But he was bigger than me, and the picture looked like he was bigger than me. My face was weird. It still is. So I go. First day. I'm super excited about this. And we went over to Jupes on.

[John Holmberg]

I still go there.

[Brett]

Guadalupe and Price, thereabouts.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett]

Jupes was known for like, you know, being lax at the time. I don't think they are anymore.

[John Holmberg]

No, they're not.

[Brett]

And so I go and immediately, bartender gets my ID and he looks at me, he goes, I know Mark. And just throws it away. I'm like, God damn it. He looked at it and looked at me like, come on, idiot. I know this guy. He lives like right over there. He comes here all the time. Like, oh. So I slunk out sad. And I noticed that there was a table of similars that are looking at me. Give me this thumbs up. And I'm like, I spent 85 bucks on that guy's ID and I didn't. Damn it. So I get another fake ID later and I went into. I can't remember the name of the place. It was a place called JT's and there's new. It was not related to the one that's there. It used to be on Dobson and Guadalupe. It's where they had bar after bar there for a little while. Champs and JT's and tons of bars just opening, closing in the same location. Went in there, dropped the ID and pretty proud of myself. I'm drinking with a couple other people who were of age. I'm like, I'm one of them. I'm in. I'm in. And all I had to do was slick my hair back. With my receding hairline, people thought I was 35. They probably take my ID because it's like, there's no way you're only 21.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Byron]

I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polish plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsman. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms and inventory daily with no wait.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com Fisher Tools has been the.

[Brady]

Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years. Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, Dewalt and more. They also specialize in tool repair, including hydraulics like Burndy and commercial electric contractor tools, as well as having a state of the art on site glove testing facility. Visit Fisher Tools in store or [e-mail] and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order. Fisher Tools brands you know, service you trust.

[Brett]

Holmberg's morning sickness. So I'm sitting there drinking, and then a gaggle of bus boys from Tony Romas comes in. Oh, no, like, seven of them.

[Toledo]

Picha Joe?

[Brett]

Yeah. No, no, they were Mexican. Freddie. This was in the 80s. Wow. Wow. We know. Porkopoulos probably should have gotten raided, but. Yeah, no, they did. They were all white kids and they come in drinking. They're like, hey, John, what's going on? And I heard them talking about school, high school. And, you know, Mrs. Fletcher's such an idiot. The other day, I was in him, like. And the bartender's eyeball. I'm like, it's time to go. It's time to go. There's gonna be a. Now she's gonna scrutinize the whole thing.

[Toledo]

2 and 2.

[Brett]

And you just never go back to that bar. 165. Of the 173 people arrested at this bar, first off, running a hell of a business there.

[Alex]

Second off, the eight that were there with the underage ones, they were 165.

[Brett]

People cited and released because they're not taking you to jail. But they were cited and released.

[Alex]

They all had fake IDs.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, they had fake IDs. And they got, you know, underage drinking. Like, we're gonna take it. They didn't have time to, you know, they. And by the way, dummies. Unless there were 165 cops, some of you should have run. What are you waiting in line for your citation? What's wrong with you?

[Alex]

What do they do?

[Brett]

All right. Wait at the back door. All right, 74, 70. Who's up next for their citation?

[John Holmberg]

Come on, man.

[Brett]

No cuts. What are you. Many of us are there. How dumb are you guys? A few of you are going to run. You have to learn that the cops, the five or six rating cops, they're not going to chase you.

[Toledo]

They could have gone in the bar and said, no one's leaving.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if 173 people would fit in that bar. It's not that big if it's the one we're thinking. I don't know.

[Toledo]

You're right. If it was outside, they have like a. I need you in A single file.

[John Holmberg]

Mind.

[Brett]

I can't remember. All right, everybody. And they checked all 165 IDs. Run. One of you could have run and learned your lesson that way. Just huffing and puffing and sweating it out about a mile down the road going, I think they're not coming for me. All of them stayed. And you're right. Maybe they blocked the door. Yeah, there's another door.

[Toledo]

That's the only way I think would.

[Brett]

I'll tell you right now, a smart kid like me would have leaned and gone. Hey, bartender, you're going to jail. Where's the back door? Yeah, cops are back there, too. Help me out here, brother. When the citations start going, take off. They didn't have 165 handcuffs. It's like when I watch op live. Be like the party. The black lady parties that get raided, they just take off. They'll be talking to the cops. They'll be chatting with the cops. Gone. She just started. Ah, we got one fleeing on foot. She's in a purple tank top and jean shorts for a child. Oh, wait, she's twerking for the camera. Never mind, we got her. They'll run. While they're talking to the police. These Tempe kids stayed and all got their citations.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe ICE was there too because they had so many fake IDs in the building.

[Brett]

I guess maybe, I suppose if they pull them out at gunpoint.

[Alex]

Posters at the White House.

[Brett]

And I saw the one raid that they did in Colorado for the MS.13 bar, which I find hysterical.

[John Holmberg]

They had a bar?

[Brett]

They had a bar.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, nice.

[Brett]

And they arrested a whole load of Ms. 13 gang members. And people are upset that they raided the bar and they're deporting like. I mean, it was an MS.13 bar. The cops had long guns out and, you know, but you know what the Ms. 13 guys were doing? Busting out of the back door, running. And even with the cops guns like, oh, go, go. And the hands go up and like, get on the ground like, okay, okay. And when the cop would direct his attention to the other guy, the guy gets take off running like, I'm getting out of here. These idiots in Tempe 165. Now, on the flip side to this, great job, officers.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah.

[Toledo]

They put up a temporary fence. Maybe you didn't have to corral them.

[Brett]

I just know that if there was 165. Look, when there was a house party, there's probably a couple hundred people maybe at most. And that was. The cops knew. This is an illegal house party 13:10 maybe get hit. Maybe. That's a huge number.

[John Holmberg]

Three cop cars pull up.

[Toledo]

Total.

[Brett]

Everybody's jumping and running, running in other people's yards and jumping fences, climbing trees.

[Alex]

Who got caught?

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah. And then Monday, it'd be like four of us got. Adam got in trouble for it. I'm like, oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it wasn't me.

[Brett]

So, like, 187 of us got away on foot, got in our cars.

[Alex]

But also the. The bar business in Tempe last weekend. Little down. A little down. After Thursday night's hit, evidently kids had.

[Brett]

To go home to their friends. I mean, slash parents. That wouldn't happen. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe there. I just.

[Toledo]

Okay, we'll get you another I.D.

[Brett]

Here'S what.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, poor Brady.

[Brett]

There it is. Oh, Skyler, I'm so sorry. I had such a bad week. I don't know why I cracked down. That's it. That's why they didn't run. There's no repercussions. There's no Dan Holmberg waiting for you to come home with an underage citation. Throw you in the pool for half hour.

[Toledo]

That's a percentage.

[Brett]

That's exactly what it is. You're friends with these morons, and they stood in line for their citations because nothing bad was gonna happen. In fact, you're probably gonna go down there today and talk to the officer that manhandled my boy. My son Sloan was just having a soda. I'm sorry, ma' am. His friend Riley was arrested. Explain yourself. These are children. They're friends. My mom wouldn't have gone out and fought for me.

[Alex]

Go back to Postino.

[Brett]

Oh, okay. So maybe it isn't the kids that are that dumb. It's these parents that are best friends with their kids, that don't give them five across the face and then go in their room later and go, I did it, too. Just be smarter. Run. Like, where's the dad saying, why didn't you run? Half of them had to ask. Because you know why? There is no dad. There's no dad in the house. Nope. It's moms and jeans that look like the girls in high school because they want to be friends when they still. They won't let go. And it's a mom's job to be nurturing. It's not a mom's job to Mackie Crossface unless it's a black mom. They don't mess around. That's the problem. That's the problem. There was no dad to give you the grief and Then walk in later and say, why didn't you run? That's what my dad would have said. It's like, let me ask you something. 165 saw it on the news. Why didn't you guys run?

[John Holmberg]

I'm taking your car away now. I mean, you should have ran.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Alex]

What are you doing standing there finishing your drink?

[Brett]

Yeah. I didn't know what to do. They had doors. They were in the front door. Is there a back door? Yeah, but I don't know how to get through the kitchen. Through the kitchen? You know where the kitchen was? There's a door to that. I was afraid there was cops back there too. Swedish stood in line, got her citation. When you were next in line for the citation, did you think I'm gonna run? I would have raised the kid that ran.

[John Holmberg]

Is there 173 cops on shift in that area?

[Brett]

I mean, you know, on a Thursday night. Yeah.

[Alex]

Not even in the county.

[Brett]

It had to be some sort of thing. But anyway, all I thought was, man.

[Toledo]

You get maybe six cars there.

[Brett]

They were dumb if they were bringing.

[John Holmberg]

Up there the most. If they're all in doubled up in the car.

[Toledo]

Yeah, they give this guy for 30.

[Brett]

He said there's a one year driver's license suspension if you get caught with a fake id. Why weren't you running? Because they don't care about driving. It's a generation of people that don't get up on their 16th birthday to get their license. They don't care about driving that much.

[Toledo]

Like you said, scooters electric. Starting this conversation. They didn't know what they're that it's just.

[Brett]

They're just that dumb that by the 45th one it's like how come the cops are here, bro?

[Toledo]

You staying?

[Brett]

Yeah, I think I will stick around and get a madder than they already are.

[Toledo]

Let's get this on Instagram or Tick Tock.

[Brett]

Yeah, they probably get trying to get clicks.

[John Holmberg]

I get another shot while I'm sitting here waiting.

[Brett]

This is. This is crap. If you're dude158 you could have had a couple more pops before they. Before they nabbed your id, bro. Owner that bars in big trouble has to be right. They didn't really mention gone. I mean we had.

[Alex]

Unless all 165 had those good fake IDs.

[Brett]

We had a basket of fake IDs at Tony Roma's which was a restaurant for old people. But the bar area. A few times would come in and I'd come on, I'm two years older Than you.

[Alex]

Black Angus. We used to do that too. The bouncer would have the file there.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And he'd pull out the old one. You were Demontre last week.

[Brett]

The better part was we would sell them to our own busboys. We didn't do that. Great. You look a little like this one. Jared. Google much? 50 bucks. I didn't do any work. I'd hand them out. Hey, McNeilis, this one's the same size as you. How much? 85. Hold on, let me see what I can get. Give me money. I'm selling driver's licenses, but I would. I literally stood in the bar one time, and these girls came in, and they were really young, and the bartender's name was Jim Ortiz. And he goes, watch this. And I was bar backing at the time. I'm like, watch this. I'm like, what? He said, They're. They're 18. And he went up and he goes, ladies, I'm not even gonna card you. Oh, my God. Really? Nah, you guys are. You look beautiful tonight. Do you get carded still a lot? No, it's, you know, we're old enough. I'm like, okay. And he knew for sure they were. So they ordered strawberry daiquiris and he made virgins. And by the third one, he said, look at him. They're acting a little drunk. It's just drinking Slurpees. So I said, can we get in trouble for that? And he goes, yeah, we can't have him at the bar. And he said, but it's still fun to do this every once in a while. I'm like, this is great. And then in the middle, he asked him for IDs, and they left. They might have been 16. It was so bad. They had, like, business attire on, like the. At the time, with a huge shoulder pads there. I remember the one was in a yellow suit. She looked like Darcino hall dressed her. It was awesome. But anyway, your kids are stupid. Run. Run away. Run. My dad didn't raise no dummies. Run. And if you can't run, hide. Go into the bathroom and hide. I'd go into the attic of that place. I'd crawl in through a ceiling thing. If a year's suspension for my license would have been murder for me, I'd be through a ceiling tile. I'd be hiding in the top, and I'd be in the. Waiting for everything to go. I'd sleep there till the next day. We get cell phones. You can call your dad or your mom and go, hey, there's a raid. At the place I'm at, I'm hiding. Then my dad would be like, I'm gonna beat the life out of you when you get home, but nice job.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Now the state press is calling out that place.

[Brett]

Of course, it's saying that there's the Tempe Tavern.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's on their website.

[Brett]

That's a lot of underage people to allow inside, but, yeah, I just don't understand the stupidity of all 165 of them. I don't think Tempe's cops. Yeah. It is not big.

[John Holmberg]

This is tiny.

[Toledo]

How many were travel IDs?

[Brett]

Yeah, are the kids compliant? Are there fake IDs getting them from A to B in the air?

[Alex]

Apprehended, they had to have, like, a bunch of patty wagons. Then the lady.

[Brett]

Yeah, the lady at jsx when I flew out Friday, didn't get my joke. And I think she just thinks I'm a dick. Because she goes, just to let you know, your travel ID, you have to have that updated by May 7th. I'm like, I already got a mother just joking with her. And she just went right back to the computer. I'm like, I'm just playing. And she didn't respond. All right, all right. Somebody already raised me, sister. I know how it works. Anyway, yeah, that's not good. That 165 dummies. Idiots. I did my kid just for being so stupid. You stood there and took. How many people got citations before you? 80? You were in the middle of that line. You just didn't go hide or go to the best. Somebody had to go to the bathroom at a certain point. I don't think Tempe cops have the resources because they were drinking on a Thursday.

[Toledo]

There's got to be a big patio.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, not that big. I mean, maybe they could.

[Alex]

I don't think they have a patio.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's a couple little spaces up.

[Toledo]

Front here, like, with the top, you know, like, they couldn't get out. That's the only way I could.

[Brett]

Even if the Tempe cops had a raid team on Thursday, some of them could have gotten away.

[Alex]

So you can get the Google view.

[John Holmberg]

If 20 dudes are running at the same time, they're only gonna get half of you.

[Brett]

Maybe. Maybe. And that's if they chase. They've got another 140 here to eyeball.

[Alex]

Little patio area out in front there.

[Brett]

So I'm hoping that the real story was scattered like roaches in Raid. And there were actually 400 people in there and only 165 got caught. That's my only dream.

[Alex]

There's no patio there.

[Toledo]

Oh, look at that. That's amazing that that many people. Doesn't look that big of a building.

[Brett]

Well, Brady, they were children. It was little tykes night at the Tavern. Can't imagine the Tempe cops will, like, start their 9:00am all right, tonight's the big raid on the Tempe Tavern. How many we got? All 180 of you. All right, whole police force gonna go down there and make sure these kids get busted.

[John Holmberg]

Should we go for lunch today?

[Brett]

Yeah, I think maybe that's a good idea.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Brett]

Nope.

[Byron]

We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns dot com.

[Brady]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felton face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's.

[Brett]

John Holberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Twenty years ago, the Core Institute began, and it's a better way of caring for people. And there are a lot of people who are coping with pain in their bodies every day. The Core Institute specializes in helping the PA pain disappear. And I speak from experience. Here I am now living pain free and enjoying all the things I absolutely love to do. So if you're living in pain, you don't have to anymore. The Core Institute has been here for 20 years, and they're going to be here for a lot longer than that and you can stop living with pain and start saying yes to all the things you love to do. Go to the Core Institute dot com. Holmberg's morning sickness. Yeah. Support the Tempe.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brett]

And then just. Look, can I talk to the manager real quick? Sure. Hey, how you doing? My name's John. What the were you doing? 160, folks. Well, I'm not real good at IDs. You run a bar.

[Alex]

That's literally your one job you want.

[Brett]

Your one gig is to try to protect that. What the is wrong with you?

[Toledo]

He couldn't make it to work that night.

[Brett]

Yeah. When the cops. When the cops showed up, did you just shout, everybody, run? Or you're like, all right, calm down.

[Alex]

The corral area was the one keeping him in.

[Brett]

I can't jump, apparently.

[John Holmberg]

I mean.

[Toledo]

Here. Here.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett]

I can't. What's. This is the same generation that notes for P.E. can't do it. I didn't get a good night's sleep.

[Toledo]

Come in. But we got to put this shock collar on you.

[John Holmberg]

The old dirty bookstore that was next to it.

[Brett]

We're gonna. Oh, that was a dirty bookstore. Apache is loaded with that.

[Toledo]

Around the corners. The rolled up smoke shop.

[Brett]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Not. Get away from that. Come on.

[Brett]

Look at how much parking lot space there is to scatter. There's a wall right there. You could have hopped. I've already got my escape route and I'm 52 years old.

[Toledo]

Leave the car parking lot.

[Brett]

They don't drive anywhere. Plus your Tempe Tavern kids. You're Westwood or something. You're not driving.

[Alex]

That thing looked like a biker bar with all the bird scooters out in front of it.

[Brett]

Get on one of those. Throw. Throw your dad's credit card and get through there.

[John Holmberg]

So many places to run.

[Brett]

Oh, what the hell?

[John Holmberg]

Look at this.

[Toledo]

You got the light rail.

[Brett]

Come on. Dumb mother. What in the world? I'm at it. I'm at numbers 90 through 162.

[Alex]

Literally. This stop is right there.

[Brett]

And even if there were a hundred cops, they're all bundled up, too. That's a small space. You could. You could blade your way through that. Where were the liars? Where were the young liars that said I'm here against my will and being human trafficked. Fake a seizure. What happened to the youth? I would have been on the ground flopping around with foam coming out of my. He's having a seizure.

[Toledo]

200 of us got away, man. There ended up being like, that's what.

[Brett]

I'm saying, it's like, four. There better be at least 400 people that scattered. And that little bar was tempted.

[Alex]

Cops went there and thinking, oh, man, we're gonna get some action now. They were like, they're all just standing there.

[Brett]

What did the class of 25 from Mesa High go into the tavern that night? What is going on? Where are my liars? Where are my storytellers? Where is the future of America? Where's the bully that punches another kid and starts a fight so the cops have something else to do so the rest of us can run? Where is your brain? 162 of you got citations.

[Toledo]

That's how confident they were with their ID Watch.

[Brett]

I'm even gonna fool the cops like you idiots.

[Toledo]

Oh, God. I like.

[Brett]

We're standing there, Brady. We're standing there underage. Now, first off, when Brady was underage, I would have been, like, seven, but I'd still been smarter than these kids. And with Brady. I don't want to do this, but I'm punch you directly in the face. We're going to start a fist fight. Cops are going to have to come break us up. Diversion. We're doing this so our friends can get out. We're going to take the heat for the. For the other ones. Where was that? None of you are smart at all. Run.

[Alex]

Champ, you ready? It's about to go down, right?

[Brett]

The Gilbert goons lasted longer than you guys, and they did terrible stuff. They had their parents in their corner. That's probably why.

[Alex]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Brett]

At least they were smart enough to lie and run and do all that. Idiots. I don't know anything about Tempe tavern anymore.

[John Holmberg]

I'm 25, and I'm thinking it's not like they're tasing anyone. Just mob together and push through.

[Brett]

Push, push. Create a January 6th mob and get the hell out of there. This guy said the police got help with the Arizona Department of Liquor License and Control and probably blocked all of the exits and received citations on their way out. Okay, maybe, but, you know, still seizures, lying. I mean, there's still all sorts of fake stuff you can divert. Start a fist fight in that pile of people, and somebody has to take one for the team. There could have been a couple of escape routes.

[Alex]

That outdoor corral area, short.

[Brett]

And here's the other thing. The first, the opening of this bar. There are 165, 200 people in there. There, that little patio. Somebody's gonna see that there's authority figures lining up and, like, didn't warn the others. Hey, we Got. We knew it at house parties. Cop. That's all you had to hear. And boom. The place was. We run by him.

[John Holmberg]

Sonic. All those liquor guys are Michael Duncan Clark size or anything.

[Brett]

Just run through. It's crazy. This one says, do you know how many pervy men are gonna go to the Tempe Tavern now? They stay open. They're gonna have a surge of old men going in there hitting on college girls. My guess is it was a lot of girls. Yeah, because they're the ones that would get the citation. Crying. You don't understand. My dad's not gonna lie on my YouTube channel.

[Alex]

And my guess is the pedos are gonna be a little lonely for a while at the tavern.

[Brett]

It's not gonna be much. I have a feeling there's gonna be a yellow tape on that door and that place ain't gonna open for a couple.

[Alex]

A little bit.

[Brett]

I don't think the Tempe Tavern is open for business.

[Alex]

So what happens to their liquor license? Can anybody go in and buy it?

[Brett]

It's a good question.

[Toledo]

Yanked. And then it's potentially available again.

[Brett]

I don't know. They're dumb. That's what I thought last night. And I want. I don't. I want to. I want to be fair to them and when I was their age. Because right now I am. I am a much smarter than I was and obviously than they are. Man of a certain age. So I look back and I'm like. Where in the world? But I know for a fact that my brain would have started panic. A massive lie. I would have immediately. We must bullsh t our way through this. And I'd have probably not to the cop's face. You're already too late there. But I mean distractions. The seizure's strong. I'd have gone into the bathroom and gotten some soap and water and put it in my mouth like he's got rabies. Like we'd have gone nuts or something and maybe still get in trouble. But was there any effort? Idiots.

[Toledo]

You know, we're thinking high school. But you got a bulk of 19. Junior.

[Brett]

20 juniors in college. Yeah.

[Alex]

Freshman. Sophomore.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Freshman.

[Brett]

18. 19. 20. Sure. Still dumb.

[Alex]

I doubt it was many high schoolers in there.

[Brett]

Still dumb.

[Alex]

Still dumb.

[Brett]

It's still dumb. Especially when you're 19. You're that close.

[Alex]

Trust me. I know. 19 year old dummy.

[Brett]

You got one.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You got a good one too. Like this kid is good. Dumb. Barely alive. And the update on him is hilarious. Is that no school? Still grubhub. And you basically did what we said you were gonna have to when we said it back when you moved out in August. You're paying for this, you know that? Nope, nope, nope. You're gonna pay it. And you're just paying it and said, get it back up here. Why are you even letting them stay down there? Shouldn't he just have to come back now?

[Alex]

Partly because he's 19 and partly because the lease is breaking. The lease was more.

[Brett]

He wouldn't break it. Might as well keep paying, leave it empty. Get his ass up.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah. Cause he's 19. Next thing is taking away his car. Cause the car's mine.

[Brett]

Oh, so you're gonna live with you?

[Alex]

He's coming back up for the summer.

[Brett]

Yeah, man, I think I just keep paying rent. Better than having that adult look at me every morning going, what's for breakfast?

[Alex]

He's getting charged rent.

[Brett]

You gotta pay yourself then because he's getting charged rent now. I hate to break it to you.

[Toledo]

I'm putting a tough shed in the backyard.

[Brett]

I'm putting this. You know what?

[Alex]

I'll clean it out.

[Brett]

Let's. Let's do this for rich. I'll kick in if you guys do. We're gonna put a little all pro shade patio in Toledo's backyard. We'll have the guys come out and just live on the patio. Like a. You know, like he's a Cane Corso in an apartment. He's got a nice little patio he can stand, but he's not allowed in the house anymore.

[Alex]

Little food bowl.

[Brett]

Yeah, a little food bowl. He gets to see through the window. You can crack the window. He can watch tv. It will charge his electronics.

[Alex]

And he's allowed stop connecting to Bluetooth.

[Brett]

He's allowed to be out there. Come on inside. No, only for paying customers.

[John Holmberg]

What's the new WI Fi password, bruh?

[Brett]

Guys are dicks. It's better down in Tucson. Of course it was. You were living for free by yourself, you idiot. So I just don't want my house to smell like vape.

[Alex]

And it does.

[Brett]

Blueberry vape.

[Alex]

Oh, it's not blueberry.

[Brett]

Let some smoke.

[Alex]

Oh, it's the full on.

[Brett]

He's straight. Oh, he doesn't even hide it. Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

Who's paying for that then?

[Alex]

Great question, Brad.

[Brett]

Gulp. It's Gulp Hub. He just gets on an app where he just goes door to door gulping.

[Brady]

Where's Goldhub?

[Brett]

Oh, the dickhead got back on the freeways. Never gonna get here. Hi, Gulp Hub. Yeah, that's. Yeah, they're dumb. You know at firsthand. You got one. And his friends are dumb.

[Alex]

Yes.

[Brett]

There's always one smart one. They can say he's gonna. He's gonna.

[Alex]

Because they managed to make it through a whole year of school down there at U of A.

[Brett]

True, but you notice they're dumb. But then there's gonna be one. You kind of notice he's gonna break out of this herd.

[Alex]

Oh, there's. There's two. One of his name's Kyle, he's already got his pilot's license and he's going to school on scholarships in southern Utah.

[Brett]

He's not gonna be friends with your son much longer. No.

[Alex]

No.

[Brett]

Grubhub and a 19 year old pilot doing an aeronautical school in Colorado. Hey, Alex, do you want to. No. What? I'm not leaving. Dude, your grubhub. You have to leave the house. No, I ordered grubhub for myself and I go pick it up and get my own tip yesterday.

[Alex]

There's a new plan, man. Changing my major, dad. Changing my major.

[Brett]

You got to go to school to have a major.

[Alex]

What are you changing your major to that you haven't declared? I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go for business. What kind of business? I don't just want to start a business and then I start my fashion brand.

[Brett]

He's an entrepreneur.

[Alex]

Okay, okay.

[Brett]

But he really hates the whole.

[Toledo]

That's a better route.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, if the guy from Chiba Hut can make it, I can make it rich.

[Brett]

I want to be a nurse. Yeah, ask the next question.

[Alex]

Wishing one hand.

[Brett]

Are you going to school for it? No. You're never gonna be a nurse.

[Alex]

Didn't know YouTube was giving out MBAs.

[Brett]

I want to be a business. I want to get business degree. Yeah. How's school going? Not going. Guess what? You're not going to get ever. You have a fake ID and a fake degree. What? Yeah. You need to punch him more. You're not punching him enough.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, give him a briefcase for his birthday.

[Alex]

There you. Good idea.

[Brett]

I like that little briefcase and a clip on time. All right, Mr. Wonderful, go out there and make all your money. See you and Mark Cuban in the paper.

[Alex]

Hello, Sharks.

[Brett]

My name's Alex. I'm Shark. I got an idea, Sharks. What is it? It's this thing that, like on your phone, people put in an order to a restaurant. And then I go get it for them and then. And then they pay me. It's called Alex Hub. This already exists. Nuh. The one that exists called grubhub. I need you dudes to fund Me?

[Toledo]

It's a biodegradable pouch to hold your weed.

[Brett]

Guys are dicks. You're like my dad. You'll see.

[Alex]

There's the hurt.

[Toledo]

Get to the hurt.

[Brett]

Oh, Richard, they're so dumb. Run. High five. John runs. Oh, man. My dad would have come home. Hi. How's everybody doing? We need to talk. Dan. What happened? What'd he do? He got caught at a tavern last night with 200 of his friends. He's got 200 friends? Oh, it's a gay bar. Oh, he's at a game. He got caught doing gay, didn't he? No, he just got caught with a fake id. Didn't he run? No, he stayed and he took his. He took his citation right in the ass. I probably. I'll be right back. Hey, Twink. Why didn't you run?

[Alex]

They all gotta have the same court date in Tempe, right? We should send Brett out there for that. That morning.

[Brett]

Oh, my dad would come in. What the hell was last night? They blocked the exit. You know, I gotta beat you. You know I gotta hit you a couple times, right? Yeah, I know. You take your car away, left side or right side? We're not friends. You know that, right? I'm not your friend. I'm the guy who knocks you around when you cost me money, okay? And then you come back in the room a few hours later going, was it worth it? Did you have fun? Did you get laid by a girl? No, we weren't there for that, dude. Yeah, you and your twin friends standing there in a line getting tickets.

[Toledo]

We're watching the sperm race.

[Brett]

Yeah. Pretty awesome, dad watching sperm races.

[Alex]

We're in training for next year's sperm races.

[Brett]

I want to be a sperm racer. I'm gonna hit you again. Shut your mouth. My dad's in town right now. He's probably loving every single. I think he still might be gay. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585 9, 800 and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful rock media station. It's out of control now. 88K U PD it's stick to little.

[Alex]

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[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. And Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?

[Wayne]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[Wayne]

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[Larry McFeely]

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[Wayne]

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[Larry McFeely]

Just Google AMCO for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and.

[Brady]

A whole lot more.

[Brett]

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