05-02-25 - BR - FRI - Sci News On Tyroneasaurus Rex Leather Products And LED Suits To Repel Sharks - Odds Out For The Next Pope w/Trump Not Making The Top 5

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: May 2, 2025
Release Date: May 2, 2025

Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, Arizona's premier morning radio show, captivates listeners with its unique blend of humor, insightful discussions, and offbeat news. Hosted by John Holmberg, alongside Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, this episode delves into a variety of intriguing topics, from quirky science news to the whimsical odds of political figures ascending to the papacy. Below is a comprehensive summary of the episode's key segments.

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1. Grandparents' Gripes with Modern Baby Names

One of the standout discussions centers around a recent survey exploring grandparents' opinions on contemporary baby names. The conversation highlights a generational clash in naming preferences.

• Brady Bogen shared, "A list of names that grandparents overall hate currently hate," including popular names like Aurora, Charlotte, and Noah, which many grandparents find unappealing ([09:32]).

• John Holmberg humorously navigates the topic by suggesting, "Proclaim loudly, 'I'll never go to another wedding again. I've seen enough of them,'" reflecting on the broader theme of traditional versus modern choices ([08:42]).

• The hosts playfully debate the toughness of certain names when pronounced with exaggerated accents, poking fun at societal perceptions of masculinity tied to a child's name ([11:36]).

2. Science News Highlights

The show features an eclectic segment of science news, blending factual information with comedic commentary.

a. Tyrannosaurus Rex Leather Products

• Brady Bogen introduces the bizarre concept of "purses made of Tyrannosaurus Rex leather," explaining that two biotech companies claim to synthesize dinosaur DNA to create these unique accessories ([16:12]).

• John Holmberg quips, "Tyrannosaurus Rex got a kickass sideways hat on. And he is mean mugging your ass all day," adding humor to the fantastical idea ([17:00]).

• The hosts debate the feasibility, with Brady noting, "You'd need samples of DNA from an actual T. Rex skin and there isn't any," while John adds, "This is Science News after Right. Learn something."

b. LED Suits to Repel Sharks

• Brady discusses a study proposing the addition of LED lights to bathing suits and surfboards to deter great white sharks, suggesting that sharks associate lights with non-prey items like seals ([22:47]).

• John Holmberg humorously remarks, "Because they don't like lights. Yeah, they don't like lights," further downplaying the practicality of the solution ([23:00]).

3. Odds Out for the Next Pope: Donald Trump Not Making the Top 5

In a particularly entertaining segment, the hosts explore the unlikely scenario of former President Donald Trump becoming the next Pope.

• Brady cites a YouGov survey, revealing that "87% said no" to the idea of Trump being elected Pope, while only "6% said yes" ([29:23]).

• John Holmberg adds his perspective, stating, "I'm not religious and I don't even think it would be like, I'd be like, this is a mistake Vatican," reinforcing the survey's outcome ([29:38]).

• The discussion humorously touches on the odds, with Brady mentioning, "No, no. Brady: Pizza baller favorite is Pietro Perlin, who's a plus 330," illustrating the low likelihood of Trump securing a significant position in the papal conclave ([30:25]).

4. Viral Videos Commentary: A Dive into the Bizarre

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to reviewing and humorously critiquing a series of outlandish viral videos submitted by listeners.

• John Holmberg and Brady dissect videos featuring peculiar behaviors, such as individuals modifying their bodies in unconventional ways or engaging in absurd activities, all while maintaining a comedic undertone.

• Notable moments include the discussion of a man who "cut his penis off and made a hole where it used to be," leading to exaggerated and humorous speculation about his motives and lifestyle ([37:42]).

• Brady summarizes the segment with, "This is World is not Normal Friday. We look at videos to make ourselves not want to be on the planet anymore," encapsulating the show's irreverent take on bizarre online content ([40:20]).

5. Space News: Milestone All-Female Spacewalk

Shifting gears to more serious news, the hosts highlight a significant achievement in space exploration.

• Brady reports, "Astronauts Nicole Ayer and Ann McLean completed a spacewalk yesterday. The International Space Station. It's just the fifth all-female spacewalk in history" ([20:05]).

• John Holmberg humorously adds, "There's a Postinos in space. The ladies got out together," blending commendation with light-hearted banter ([20:21]).

6. Closing Remarks and Community Engagement

The episode concludes with promotions for local comedy events and fishing adventures in Arizona, fostering a sense of community and engagement among listeners.

• Byron announces upcoming comedy shows featuring Leo Gonzalez, Randy Feltface, and Gary Owen, providing details for listeners to attend ([28:04] & [42:04]).

• Dick Toledo shares his enthusiasm for fishing in Arizona, encouraging listeners to obtain licenses and explore the state's natural beauty ([43:04]).

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: "It's not magic, it's just math. You don't laugh at that?" ([00:40])

• Brady Bogen: "A study found that kids learn to read and write better if they do it the old fashioned way." ([20:41])

• John Holmberg: "I'm just guessing." ([16:43])

• Brady Bogen: "You can use commercial planes to spray chemicals into the atmosphere to help climate change. So actual chemtrails." ([22:32])

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness continues to blend humor with eclectic discussions, providing listeners with a refreshing take on everyday topics and outlandish news alike. Whether delving into scientific curiosities or debating the improbable, the show's dynamic hosts ensure an engaging start to the day.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. Now, nearly six months later, I'm feeling like my old, old self again. Go to gameday phoenix.com today and book a free consultation in a matter of minutes at Game Day's In House lab. A licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to incorporate any number of these therap to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging and it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's health locations in the Valley at gamedayphoenix.com Spring is.

[Larry McFeely]

In full swing now and summer is right around the corner. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And there's no better time to hit the trails, the lakes and those wide open desert roads in a brand new Toyota. Whether you're hauling gear to Roosevelt Lake and the powerful Toyota Tundra, navigating rocky trails in the rugged Tacoma, or exploring Sedona in The all new 4Runner, Toyota's got the muscle and comfort to match your most excellent adventures. Head to your Valley Toyota dealer or Valley Toyota dealer today and gear up for summer in a ride that's built for the heat and the adventures. Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com I got this email. Dearest Holmberg, I don't have $10 million in my house or a ridiculous amount of money in the bank. And I'm sure when you're talking about Life Changer Loan, you're not talking about people like me. So before I even think about it, can you enlighten me? It's not a rich person's money scheme that excludes normal people. Actually, you're going to end up paying off your mortgage in about five years and save on average about $250,000 in interest. Find out how for yourself. Schedule a [e-mail] it's not magic, it's just math. You don't laugh at that? I didn't kill oh, we were talking about if we tried to come home as furries. Good Christ, man. Yeah, yeah. Brett's dad told him if he ever called CPS on him it would be a vicious cycle of him returning from jail to beat him up again. Oh yeah. And he meant every word of it. Toledo had the great line to his son when his kid goes, I don't care. You can't touch me. I'll just call cps. And he goes, you call him. I'm gonna get my money's worth. I still love that Toledo told Alex that Furry kids. I don't get it. So did I listen to John the Jew? Hey. Hey. Really ask for someone to have a decent conversation with him like an adult. All last week he was trying to talk you boys into whipping out their jimmies. That's a decent conversation. Not saying he can't have nuance going back and forth about the. The man succubus. And I don't even know what the word is for that. Not saying. Men are good at this. We screw up stuff too. But you guys have all the power. Ladies. The Whitney Houston Bobby Brown came up a lot. And then you start to realize, well, Whitney Houston also. And this is a documentary that Whitney's family was behind. She was a lesbian and she was afraid to come out cuz she thought it would wreck her career. And she had never really dealt with it. Sort of sad. So Bobby Brown was more of a front. And then toxicity took over. It's not like Bobby just showed up and drained her of everything because she was so brainwashed by him. Not the way Mike Tyson's whole career went. I no longer pay attention to boxing. What's that? And Robin Givens walked by and his whole purpose for life changed. I said it when Chris Bryant for the Chicago Cubs Rookie of the Year, National League mvp. Got married to his high school sweetheart. I think the dude's cracked 250 since. It's been a nightmare. And he's playing in Colorado. He's in Colorado and he's. He still can't hit home runs. He's in Colorado. Took his life force and just sucked it out. Ladies, you got so much power and thank you. You know what we should be doing? Thank you. To like 90% of you that don't use it as an evil weapon even though you can. We are weak. Yoko Ono. The ultimate. The Mount Rushmore Wrecking Bros Just destroyed lives. I think it's a scorched earth. Be hard pressed to find a man who did that. Brady's got all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. It's brought to you by all Pro Shade Concepts. Looks like you're gonna hit 100 degrees a lot. And then it's gonna bounce back to 70 and whatever. So we still got some weather here that you can sit outside and be nice if you've got a spot in your house. So you want some shade. Arizona's loaded with those. Get your estimate today and get the ball rolling so you can have shade installed before the summer. Temperatures are every day without question 108 or higher. That's coming. The shades are commercial grade industrial strength and custom fit to your house right down to an eighth of an inch. Brady had it done. So for more info to get shaded like Brady did, go toAllPro shade.com and get that thing going immediately. Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world. We've made it.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Truffle Day, National Life Insurance Day and National no pants Day.

[John Holmberg]

Let me get started on two of the three of those. Hey, Brady, good thing it's National Life Insurance Day because I'm gonna come over there, I'm gonna break your jaw, I'm gonna end your world.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts. In 150 races, there have only been three Phillies or female horses to win the Kentucky Derby. Regret, 1915, Genuine Risk in 1980. Winning colors in 1988. The last Philly raced was in 2010.

[John Holmberg]

Last time I got in.

[Brady]

I like that you have no Phillies will be running in tomorrow's Derby.

[John Holmberg]

You've let the rap community change. How you say genuine?

[Brady]

Genuine.

[John Holmberg]

Genuine is genuine. Genuine. Very street.

[Brady]

I'm trying the exclamation point didn't became a standard key on the keyboard until 1970.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brady]

Before that you had to type in a period and then use the backspace and go back and stick an apostrophe above it.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. And that was because back then women weren't allowed to yell. I guess that must be it. Don't you raise your voice even in type. The good old days. The good old days. What is this thing at the end? It says you, sir. Repeal I don't know yet. We're getting rid of the 19th. They're starting to shout at us through our letters.

[Brady]

Even though it was a novelty song. Because I got high by Afroman was nominated for the Grammy for best Rap solo performance of 2002. It lost to Missy Elliott's get your freak on.

[John Holmberg]

Another one.

[Brady]

Congress passed a law in 1866 that no living person could appear on currency after an official at the US treasury snuck himself onto the 5 cent bill. Spencer M. Clark.

[John Holmberg]

A 5 cent bill.

[Brady]

There was a 5 cent bill.

[John Holmberg]

A nightmare that was.

[Brady]

And he was the superintendent of the National Currency Bureau. It's like I'm just gonna put my face.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, why not? If I was in charge of that and we're making new dollars, I'd be like, guess who's going on the next one?

[Brady]

Well, the boys got together. Whoa, Spence.

[John Holmberg]

All right. And before the emails come in, I know how big the bill would have to be to have my face on it. Ha ha ha ha ha. I've taken away the weapon. It would be a 500 million dollar bill with your schnoz. Thank you.

[Brady]

According to the latest report about weddings, the average single person should expect to spend $461 to attend a wedding. For a couple 550. It's because you need a tire for two people. You need to split travel. There is a hotel and a gift. They broke it down. Like a Woman's outfit is $314. Man's attire is 333.

[John Holmberg]

Or you can just be like me and proclamate loudly. I'll never go to another wedding again. I've seen enough of them.

[Brady]

A single member of a bridal or groom party can expect to pay $2,137 to attend both wedding and bachelor or bachelorette party.

[John Holmberg]

I don't do. I've been to plenty. They're not that great. I'm all done with that. And it's wonderful.

[Brady]

The last one. You can Expect to pay $232 per guest if you're getting married. The average wedding has 115 guests. That puts the grand total at $26,000 for a wedding that's still light. Yeah. I mean you see a lot of them. But again, that's the average.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, the male version of a succubus is an incubus. And I didn't know that. It's a male demon believed to have sexual intercourse with sleeping women. Because we have to wait for you to go to sleep to seduce you. Nathan Sutherland was an incubus. Or a trendsetter. Yes. Or a pioneer. A trailblazer perhaps would be a better phrase.

[Brady]

There's a survey about baby names and they asked grandparents about it. 69% of grandparents think that it's fine for the grandparents to give their opinion on their grandchildren. But they also say we agree. 38% agree that it's none of our business. It's up to the couple. They found that there is a list of names that grandparents overall hate currently hate.

[John Holmberg]

Skyler.

[Brady]

Top hated. Named Royce. Aurora.

[John Holmberg]

Aurora.

[Brady]

Charlotte. Elijah, Finn. Jack. Lindsay.

[John Holmberg]

Jack.

[Brady]

Noah, Sally and Tabitha.

[John Holmberg]

Grandparents hate those names.

[Brady]

Yeah, the grand, you know, ones they surveyed.

[John Holmberg]

There. There was a Gertrude and there was an episode.

[Brady]

I was same thing.

[John Holmberg]

I go, jack, Jackson, stranger that's forever. There was an episode of the Match Game I watched the other day from 1974 where Gene Rayburn, the host, said something to the panel about like, well, who knows what people naming their kids, what they name them today. Kevin, Jason. They were blown away at Jason. Like, what they call your kid Jason with some wacky crazy name. Not like Gene or Jeff or John. But here's my rule for you naming your kid this. I just came up with this a few weeks ago. Especially if it's a boy. Say it in a. In a mean kind of gang banger, Mexican accent and tell me if your kid sounds tough. What are you gonna do about it, Royce? Yeah, you can't. Like, if a Mexican says your kid's name and it comes across as a pussy name. You got a pussy name? Are you gonna take a swing at me, Skyler? It's not a thing. Come on, Aiden. Yeah. Hey, Aiden. Are we gonna scrap the second he said you can make it, so that's a great way.

[Brady]

Yeah, it's too late, but I might be on the bubble there. I don't anything with ends and a Y or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, why's are tough ones, but like. Yeah, what are you gonna do about it, Brady? It's, you know. But if you say like, what are you gonna do about it? Pinch a John? Like, suddenly I'm like, that's an American one syllable badass. I got a shot here. What are you gonna do about it, Mike? That's it. Well, look out. Mike might have some strength. What are you gonna do about it, Dylan? Nope, not. That's not a good one. Is Tyler mad? Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, he's never gonna get in the game. Sup, Kaden? Oh, yeah. So say it like a Mexican gang member, and then tell your wife kid's not gonna do it. And then say it like a Mexican gang member is coming on to your daughter. Hey, what's up, Aurora? Oh, God, she sounds like a slut. How you doing, Sally? That's a good one. Let's stick with Sally. That's nice. He makes it seem like he's talking to a school from the 1800s. Oh, you want to fight me, Bennett? It's not a good name. Ezekiel. Ezekiel's kind of tough. I like that one. It's biblical.

[Brady]

Does Hunter still work it?

[John Holmberg]

Hunter's close. Let's see I'll try it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where's the extra cheese, Hunter? Nope, it's a bad. You said you would bring me my bike. Hunter. Hunter's hunter's got a little. It's a little on the bubble. Yeah, it's a bubble name. It's not Skyler. Skyler automatically is out. Royce is another one.

[Brady]

Colin.

[John Holmberg]

Colin's a good name, I think. Colin's a good strong media name. Buck, Hank, Colin, stuff like that. Man name. Yeah. What are you doing about it, Buck? I'm like, oh, Buck might F you up, dude.

[Brady]

Bob.

[John Holmberg]

Bob's not bad. Bob's single syllables are always better. Yeah, but he's saying it monosyllabic, you know, Skyler, that's bad morning sickness. Medicate KU PD.

[Larry McFeely]

It's Larry McFeely. And whether you're tearing up desert trails in a Tacoma, towing your toys with a tough tundra, or exploring the back roads in the all new 4Runner, your Toyota is built to go the distance. Now, obviously, our roads and weather can be brutal. That's why keeping your Toyota in top shape is key. Trust only genuine Toyota technicians with genuine Toyota parts. From oil changes to full checkups, your valley Toyota dealer has got you covered. So before you hit the trail, hit the service bay, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[Byron]

All right, HMS podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feltface performing. Just google it. And you're gonn have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey.

[John Holmberg]

Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Brett]

Brett, I sure do. It's MMP Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Brett]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no weight.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School. Or online at mmpgunscustoms.com sickness.

[Brady]

And now it's time for some science.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, it's not. Toledo just walked. Why would you do that? He just walked in.

[Brady]

I tried to channel it through Brett.

[John Holmberg]

That's not how this works. I couldn't pull it up. I don't have a password on this computer. You scream for Richard, he comes in, bye, Richard. And then he comes in with it. He walked in with his computer. He didn't have time to say.

[Brady]

I know. I thought. I thought, Brett, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then you. So that's why you just lifted a piece of paper and showed it to him. Yeah. That's the kind of planning that goes into your Science News six seconds earlier.

[Brady]

You do it in here. I thought maybe.

[John Holmberg]

For Christ's sake. You know better. Go ahead.

[Brady]

Well, you got this guy in Kentucky. Hello, my friends. Freddie Buggin in with your Professor Brady Buggy here with your Science News.

[John Holmberg]

Now who's not right? Yeah. Wow.

[Brady]

Purses made of Tyrannosaurus Rex leather.

[John Holmberg]

It's not a real purse. That's not a real thing. How'd you get that scar there, Tyrone? I sold purses under the guise that it was Tyronasaurus Rex skins. I want one of those.

[Brady]

It could be the hot new accessory.

[John Holmberg]

No, it couldn't.

[Brady]

Two biotech companies collaborated and claimed they can do it using synthetic dino DNA. Experts say it won't be the real thing.

[John Holmberg]

Tyrannosaurus Rex. I love Tyrannosaurus Rex. Just because of his sideways head hat.

[Dick Toledo]

He's not wearing a Kangal.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not Samuel Jackson. The Tyronosaurus Rex got a kickass sideways hat on. And he is mean mugging your ass all day.

[Brady]

You'd need samples of DNA from an actual T. Rex skin and there isn't any.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. This is Science News after Right. Learn something.

[Brady]

It's more like an educated guess on what dinosaur leather would look like. But they've put out an image of what it's going to turn out to look like.

[John Holmberg]

Also in Science News, Tyrannosaurus Rex. Scientists say that they always smelled of menthol.

[Brady]

Just released an album Tyrannosaurus Rex is doing.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of people say that the dinosaurs didn't go away. Tyrannosaurus Rex just found some cocoa butter and smoothed out all that skin. Rough dinosaur skin got smooth and was less than ashy.

[Brady]

People now prefer legal advice from AI over advice from actual lawyers because it's cheap.

[John Holmberg]

I Have a lawyer friend that says out loud, we're done. Why would you hire me? I have to look books up to find out cases and find out. All you have to do is ask ChatGPT. It's got every ounce of every case litigated of all time at its disposal. All of it. Decisions, arguments, all of it. And it knows it. It can't make mistakes as far as like at least information. It knows all of it. It's up to you to read it.

[Dick Toledo]

But same thing with numbers, like accounting and anything. I mean, I know that there's probably some super complicated stuff, but for the.

[John Holmberg]

Basic guys, whether or not Asians. They're out of work. They're done. They're done.

[Dick Toledo]

John Holberg has proclaimed an end to the Asian.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead. I'm just. That's the end of you. You sit and brag about your math scores all the time. Mississippi was right, evidently. They just said just new hotbed. Mississippi's just sitting back. They're going, wait, hold, hold. It's here. AI's here. We don't need Asians no more. We're just as smart as they are. Now I gotta get back to the still and finish my shine. I told you guys not to waste time on this stupid ass learning derby. Eventually Asians would invent something, made it think for us. Spelling be shelling B. I don't even know how to spell the spelling bee. Starting with the B. You can do it now.

[Brady]

I'm a chat GPT Cornell. They find AI writing tools are making the whole world sound American.

[John Holmberg]

Damn right.

[Brady]

The prompts come up with just. They tend to be tailored more towards Americans than people in other countries.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. That's why we call it the American box. The new name for computer is the America box. And you just put in your ideas and it gives you what an American would do. So you know the answers, right? Brady, what would America do? They have that. That's what Google's called. What would Americ America do? And then all these other crappy countries type in I don't know what to do with my aids. And then America tells them, there you go. Crappy, crappy citizen of crappy place.

[Brady]

In space news, astronauts Nicole ayers and Ann McLean completed a spacewalk yesterday. The International Space Station. It's just the fifth all female spacewalk in history.

[John Holmberg]

There's a. There's a.

[Brady]

They also held up a sign and said eda D. Katy Perry.

[John Holmberg]

That's nice. There's a Postinos in space. The ladies got out together.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Gotta be happy.

[Brady]

Art.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get out of here. Let's go over and talk about the boys. That's right. Sexist. Sexism. It exists in space. We're in space now. Every time I jump, I'm doing a spacewalk.

[Brady]

A study found kids learn to read and write better. A study found that kids learn to read and write better if they do it the old fashioned way.

[John Holmberg]

Ready?

[Brady]

Read and write.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, all right. Turn up your mirror. No, we heard it. That's when Brett said it. We both said it. There you go. Hey, Brady. I guess that guy, it did break his jaw because. Huh.

[Brady]

I gotta get a word in.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brady]

Saying the word it, it's interrupted.

[John Holmberg]

But it's not a word. That's why we're confused. If you used real words, we wouldn't interrupt you.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, in your head, it seems like a real.

[John Holmberg]

It seems like you're getting your message across, but you're just confusing everybody. That's why Brett and I looked at.

[Brady]

Each other, anticipating you. Jagd dogs.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can anticipate all you want. You know what? Then get better at reading. Then get better at reading.

[Brady]

Superior.

[John Holmberg]

After 24 years. What? You're Lake Superior. It's a problem. And you're waiting to get interrupted because you said something wrong. Do better. That's why Brett said reit, and I was like. I heard it, okay? I had to. I had to acknowledge that he hadn't gone crazy. It was your fault. Go on. Good luck.

[Dick Toledo]

Are you pre reading?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, finally.

[Brady]

Come on, Jack dog. He's pre reading whether I throw in the towel on science news or not. Because I'm looking at these last two.

[John Holmberg]

I do it, I'll go. Have some confidence. You can sell it. You can read, my friend. And news questionable. You could do it.

[Brady]

A study found we could use commercial planes to spray chemicals.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, well, they already are contrails.

[Brady]

Here's your long time.

[John Holmberg]

Why is everybody not listening to RFK Tune?

[Brady]

You can use commercial planes to spray chemicals into the atmosphere to help climate change. So actual chemtrails.

[John Holmberg]

But they're doing that.

[Brady]

Well, now they're saying you can add the good chemicals.

[John Holmberg]

What are the bad words that you couldn't figure out in there?

[Brady]

And here's something good for the beach.

[John Holmberg]

Okay?

[Brady]

You can start putting LED lights on your bathing suits or surfboards.

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Brady]

Study found it drastically lowers the risk of being attacked by a great white shark.

[John Holmberg]

Because they don't like lights. Yeah, they don't like lights.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I thought there's predators.

[Brady]

Man, you'll see it this summer probably on. Jaws came up in the day during Shark Week.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, the opening scene, it was night.

[Brady]

Great whites mostly attack from the bottom of the. They strike up and that's why they eventually were breaking the surface of the water.

[John Holmberg]

Jaws. Jaws was in New England. The whole thing about Jaws was a little bit sketchy. I mean they're up there, but that was a rarity. And you know, the warm waters in New England, you won't see one attacking a great white like that. Jaws has its flaws with that.

[Brady]

So you remember if you've ever watched Shark Week where they're dragging that neoprene seal in the water on the rope and the sharks come out of the water. So they put LED lights on the belly of.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't do it.

[Brady]

They didn't do it because they did on surfboards because that's where a lot of the attacks happen. They think it's a seal because all they see is a dark image. You gotta have the right type of LED light. It's gotta be because you know why.

[John Holmberg]

They never attack boats. Yeah, yeah. It's a good. It's the things like sharks are smarter to go. Oh, not a seal. If it's got lights on it. Oh, that's not edible. It's got lights on it until it bites one. Don't. Hey guys, ignore the lights. Still good meat on that bone to.

[Dick Toledo]

Jump back real quick. Texture says the first thing Tyronasaurus rex says is where are the white dinosaurs at?

[John Holmberg]

That brontosaurus got a fat ass. How you doing? I'm Tyrannosaurus Rex. I saw you eating all these greens. How was she a healthy. How'd she get such a big ass? Now show me your dinosaur immediately. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Brady]

Out of the way.

[John Holmberg]

Traceratops on Tyronasaurus Rex. Anybody got a smoke? Played by Tracy Morgan. They created me in a lab and now I have to exist amongst you. They use DNA from Tracy Morgan and a real Tyronasaurus Rex. I'm picturing Tyronnosaurus Rex trying to roll a blunt with a tiny little T Rex. Somebody gotta do this for me. This big ass blunt, I'll tell you that. Put a tongue on that, somebody gonna smoke it for days.

[Dick Toledo]

If I could only pass me the ball.

[John Holmberg]

Pass me. I can dunk.

[Brady]

This 50 year old dude dropped it again.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry I dropped the ball. My little hands can't grip it.

[Dick Toledo]

Can't you use your foot?

[John Holmberg]

I could use my lower legs, but the referee say that's a foul. Every time I claw someone in half.

[Brady]

This dude named James Farthing just won the Kentucky Powerball jackpot. $167 million. He was presented with the check on Monday. James is an ex convict and he's splitting the award with his 77 year old mother. So maybe he's matured and is a new and a changed man with this money. On Tuesday, one day after getting the check, James was arrested after a fight broke out at an oceanfront hotel where he was staying at in Florida. James had punched at least one other guy and when the sheriff's deputy stepped in to break it up, James kicked the cop in the face.

[John Holmberg]

Oops. Yikes. That's aggressive. It's a high kick. Okay, all of you artistic people, get to work. By the way, Phoenix, what are your jobs that you have time to draw us three or four different Tyrannosaurus rexes in this kind of time with a 40 ounce in his hand too.

[Dick Toledo]

You gotta post that.

[Brady]

You gotta post that raw.

[John Holmberg]

Raw. Mother. I can't get to my delicious food. My face is too far from my little baby hands.

[Dick Toledo]

I can't reach.

[John Holmberg]

I can't reach it. How am I supposed to dip this in ranch?

[Brady]

James was arrested for felony battery on a law enforcement officer and two misdemeanor counts. And he's in deeper trouble because he his arrest violates his parole. He's currently being held in jail. It looks like he's going to be in there a little bit longer. His girlfriend got is also in the fight too. Yeah, that's James.

[John Holmberg]

They had a lot in common.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, both on parole.

[John Holmberg]

You draw middle aged redneck and that is what you see. Middle aged white supremacist, really.

[Larry McFeely]

Spring is in full swing now and summer is right around the corner. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And there's no better time to hit the trails, the lakes and those wide open desert roads in a brand new Toyota. Whether you're hauling gear to Roosevelt Lake in the powerful Toyota Tundra, navigating rocky trails in the rugged Tacoma, or exploring Sedona in the all new 4Runner. Toyota's got the muscle and comfort to match your most excellent adventures. Head to your valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com today and gear up for summer in a ride that's built for the heat and the adventures. Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Brett]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection, handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. And we have Ammo Inc. 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Brett]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School. [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness with some road.

[Brady]

Rage happen in Pennsylvania. This woman was so upset, the other driver, she jumped out of her car, ran over to the other car and pooped on the front hood.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I saw this video.

[Brady]

She actually sprayed it.

[John Holmberg]

She shot it. Yes. It's gross.

[Brady]

Mustard.

[John Holmberg]

It was kind of a. It was more of that. What is that brown mustard? The delicious Dijon.

[Brady]

Yeah. She turned her back to the driver and unleashed. There are people videotaping it, but there's a lot of cussing on the video.

[John Holmberg]

She had curry before that.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm guessing the nationality. Probably not.

[Brady]

When Trump made the statement was joked around that he, he, he'd like to be elected the next Pope.

[John Holmberg]

Not elected Brady. Just be the next pope. Just put me in the office. No election necessary.

[Brady]

YouGov did a survey and asked people, do you think Donald Trump should be the next pope? 87% said no.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

7% said not sure. 6% said yes.

[John Holmberg]

The not sures always get me. I don't know. Maybe he'd be great at it, maybe not. I'm not gonna answer that. 87% of you are right. Donald Trump shouldn't be Pope. I'm not religious and I don't even think it would be like I'd be like, this is a mistake Vatican.

[Brady]

And so right now, I think the May 7th is when the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're gonna get them out there.

[Brady]

The cardinals get together the conclave and.

[John Holmberg]

One of them will bring it up. One of them's been told by Trump, just bring it up and see how they react.

[Dick Toledo]

Flew up my name.

[John Holmberg]

I would like to at least throw it out there. What about a Donald Trump? They go nuts. And then he said, all right, I just want to thank. How did it go? Good response. What's the.

[Dick Toledo]

It's got to be a cardinal for me.

[Brady]

That us the odds right now you can actually wager on Trump.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brady]

For the next Pope.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that's what I meant Pizza baller.

[Brady]

Pizza baller is a plus, or is he plus 12?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's not one of the favorites anymore.

[Brady]

No. Pizza ball favorite is Pietro Perlin, who's a plus 330.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's still a plus. So nobody's. Nobody's a stone cold favorite.

[Brady]

Yeah, Pizza ball. That's the lowest.

[John Holmberg]

That's not bad, being plus 12, 50 and plus 300. That's Super bowl out there.

[Brady]

He's in 1, 2, 3. Top five.

[John Holmberg]

Pizza Balla is.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta get that guy in throwing money.

[Brady]

Mateo Zappy is just above Pizzabala.

[John Holmberg]

And I think that's soup.

[Dick Toledo]

Zappy, Zupe, Haley, Zappies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there's no. It's totally different. No, Brady, those words aren't the same. Homegrown and homeburger. We're not related either. I hear you.

[Brady]

But the long shot is a plus 2800. Claudio Gugarati. I'm hearing Jean Martin, Avalon.

[John Holmberg]

They're all Italian. That's the Pope.

[Dick Toledo]

The last one was Argentinian.

[John Holmberg]

I know. And look how that ended. He's calling, saying homo effort and shaking.

[Dick Toledo]

Babies, dropping the F bombs.

[John Holmberg]

Well, if I was Pope, I'll tell you this, I would. I'd blow it all up. I would doge the Pope's office. That old Vatican would get a lot of money there. Fire sale. And also, I wouldn't be the very first pope that's ever had a golden shower. I'd reveal. I'd reveal it all. But at least my golden shower was with a woman of age.

[Brady]

You'd redecorate the living room.

[John Holmberg]

Redecorate that whole thing. There's a lot of gold. I like a lot of gold. Too many pictures of other guys, though. Not gay. I don't like that. Pictures of me. I like a lot of good. A lot of people say it looks better at the White House, that I painted my face over. Lincoln, Washington and Teddy got a couple of pretty videos.

[Brady]

A lot of people say that.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of people tell you that. That's a thing I say.

[Brady]

The first one, they're calling this the most chill man on the planet.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. The car, he just. A guy t bones a car on his bike, slides up onto this the roof, slides down the thing, lands on his feet, walks back to his bike.

[Brady]

Pretty impressive.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing happened.

[Dick Toledo]

Pretty good break dance.

[John Holmberg]

He has spin. He does on top of it. Yeah, he just kind of goes with. It's like skiing. He just went limp and his body never got hurt. And he walks back away. That's pretty good. Oh, we still got science going oh, yeah. Get rid of your science music. Jesus, man.

[Brady]

The next one's off of a Fox News. Okay, it's a 911 call.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, this 911 call raise some eyebrows. 91 1, what's your emergency? Yeah, My wife got attacked by a warthog real bad, and I need someone to come up with an ambulance and pick her up.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, sir, can you give me your address?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're at 1825 Eucalyptus Drive. Okay. Could you spell that for me, sir? No, I'm gonna drag her on over to Oak Street. You can pick her up there.

[Brady]

All right? I can't.

[John Holmberg]

She was attacked by a warthog. Yeah. Talk about calm. In the face of it all, the 911 guy didn't laugh or anything. Didn't even say what I would have been. I'd have been done. My wife was by a warthog. What were you doing?

[Brady]

Last one's a little scene from a wedding.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we're at the altar. It's outside. It looks beautiful. Down goes the bridesmaid. She's out. She's out cold. And smashes into the altar.

[Brady]

This is with the head on the metal.

[Dick Toledo]

Look how pissed the bride is.

[Byron]

She didn't even.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. It's no longer her day. Now it's the dead girl's day. Yep. Linda. Somebody scream Linda on the way in?

[Brady]

Linda.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Linda. Linda's dad. Linda. Linda's dad. Now are we gonna finish?

[Dick Toledo]

Never liked Linda.

[Brady]

That's all I got.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, good stuff. All right. Brett's Friday. Go get them. Here we go with Brett's video. All right. Make them snappy, too. I don't know about that. Well, you have to. We're running late. It's my fault. It's not my fault. It's ironicized. Nope, you'll get it right that time. Oh, man. You got Peg going or is this your video? That's the video. Oh, that's not on the screen yet, and I'm worried. Come on, Bert. Oh, this dude's. Oh, my God. He's cut his penis off. And there's a hole where it used to be. And he's putting his fingers in the hole. Oh, sweet Jesus. He's standing outside. I think he's at that wedding that Linda just died at. And now he's got a chain around it with a hole in there. What's in there? What's inside of it? It's just a hole. It's just a gaping hole. Now he's putting. What is that, an onion? A shallot? He just Put a shallot where the old hole was. Now he's just laying naked in the grass, gently fingering the hole. Oh, God. He's putting. He's putting a fake penis in where his old penis used to be. Oh, God. And it's inside out now. Oh, Jesus. He's got himself. That's nothing. Oh, now he's got a big penis that he's putting in his substantial grice standing next to a train. Oh, now. Now a peloton is going by, and he's got his wiener out. And it's. This dude's proud of the hole where his penis used to be. He still got the sack there. Kept the balls. Why not just go 100% on this thing? There's a strap on. There's a carrot. Oh, God. All right. How long is this? There's another 20 seconds of this dude walking around doing stuff to his hole. Oh, God. Now he's using a carrot to bang a woman with a hole. With his hole. I don't know. He's got a good grip on that. Yeah, not too bad. All right, how did this happen? I need answers. We don't have that information. That's enough of that guy. It's like. It's like science. Jesus. It's like science. There's no reason to find out about it. I'm just guessing. Oh, man. All right. You said we're short.

[Brady]

His name is Don.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, short. A little bit. But you can. You can do what you do. All right, that one got me. Brett. That was weird. That was fever dream stuff there. Here's a lady on a yoga mat on all fours. Not bad. She's in good shape.

[Brady]

Wearing a mask.

[John Holmberg]

Blonde. She's got a mask on. It's Covid days. It's an older video. So she's in yellow sports shirts and a sports bra. She's now sitting. Almost crisscross applesauce. But she's got her feet together. So she's in. She's in the lotus pose. I believe that's correct. Now she's not in the lotus pose. Now she's. Now she's just bent over, pooping through her workout shorts.

[Brady]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

Long. Now poop just fell out of the bottom of her workout shorts. Yoga in the W. Good fiber. She thinks she's a cat. Here comes some more. That is a good sized dump. Well, there you go. I've heard that yoga causes. All right, here's a lady squeezing milk out of her. I thought the breath.

[Brady]

Something else.

[John Holmberg]

She's shooting milk. What did you. Wow.

[Brady]

I thought it was another nub.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Well, that's her nipple, and there's a penis involved. That is a. How is this a thing?

[Brady]

Me.

[John Holmberg]

We're producing milk. Oh, my God. Preacher, you need to come in here. That's a wiener. And yet. Come on in. Rewind this. Watch this for a second. Hold on, hold on. Take a look. Yeah, well. Yeah. Hold up. Preacher Lawson is in the room now. Yeah. We can't figure out.

[Brady]

We're trying to figure it out, too.

[John Holmberg]

What kind of science are we looking at? It is. Are you erect right now? Get out of the room for a second. We'll get you back in here where you can calm yourself. Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, welcome to the show. Preacher will be here next night. Preacher Lawson. Yeah. That's a man's boob making milk. Here's another one. Just here, keep an eye. You can go sit up. Grab a microphone while you're in here. You're gonna watch videos with us. Preacher Loss here. It's all right. How you doing, bud? All right. Brett started over, so he knows this one. This one isn't as good. Oh, it isn't. Yeah. That's all right. All right. This is a. That's a poop sandwich. Yeah. All right, Preacher, this woman has pooped in a hot dog bun. And let's see what happens next. Let's see what happens next. Oh, my gosh. It's Friday. We do this every Friday. She eat to make it that big. Man. It might not be hers.

[Brady]

That's a big one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, she's not enjoying it. She's struggling. She's struggling. Is it bad for her? Oh, I know. Oh, my gosh. This is crazy. Oh, does she take more bites? We have the same size boobs. That's crazy. That's crazy. She is lacking a touch or. Yours are beautiful. Yeah, I do. I'll go to. I go to do chess work. Here's her firmer. She's not done. Oh, my God. She swallowed it down. All right, and the last one. Well, should we show them? Wait, so who's going through? Which one of y' all get his computer over there? Yeah. My life. Be like, yeah, watch this. This is Donald. This one we just watched, but he cut his wiener off and made a hole where it used to be. Why? Well, for reasons. Reasons we can't explain. He's called Dickless Don the Eunuch Cuck. And then he does this kind of stuff for videos. This is what people like to watch. Here you are fighting for an audience, and all you had to do. You do this. Go viral to sell tickets. How's he pee? I think it just comes pouring out of that hole, man. That means. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. All right, give me the last one, Brad. Give me the good one. This is the World is not Normal Friday. We. We look at videos to make ourselves not want to be on the planet anymore. This man put a carrot. Yeah, yeah, that was a shallot. Actually, it's a cooking show. It's the Guy Fear. This Guy Fear Restaurant. Yeah, this one is. It was entitled this is so Effing Weird that I almost didn't want to send it. But brace yourselves. Friday's videos are always the worst one. Okay. Horrible Moments in Amateur Porn. That's right. Oh, God. I don't want to know. You don't. Oh, God, the buildup is brutal.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, hit. Maybe it won't hit play, Brett. Hit play. I don't know if there's a woman on a couch. I don't even know how this goes bad. Yeah, there's a woman. Like, that looks great so far. Oh, no. There's a woman on a couch with a. Okay. African American infant toy with a gigantic penis and makes you feel very foolish and embarrassed. It's a baby. I want you to get your out while you watch me get beaten by Big Jamel right here. Jamel. She gave him a bigoted name. I'm so sorry that you're here for this. He's dominating. Hitting herself in the face with a giant penis on a baby infant toy just waving around for the camera. Is this a Hasbro toy? I'm not sure. I saw this. It's an actual baby. I don't know how. In my cousin Jamal.

[Brady]

How'd they find family films?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good Lord. Is this real? Oh, my God. I wonder how they pitched that to. Is this a pitch meeting game with this? I mean, there's no way they just threw a baby. She's like, I got. Watch this. Yeah, I got it.

[Brady]

Picture this.

[John Holmberg]

I see. I know. There you go. All right, well, thanks for joining us for that. You're a little early, and I'm never coming early. No, never, ever, ever come early. That's applied to a lot of things. We'll take a break. Preacher Lawson, go join us in just a second so he can go to the bathroom and towel down. It's out of control.

[Byron]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feldface performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com, desertridgeimprov.com.

[Dick Toledo]

From Monument Valley to Sedona, Horseshoe Bend, Grand Canyon, and more, you might think you've seen all Arizona has to offer. Well, I'd tell you if you haven't been fishing in Arizona, you haven't seen a thing. It's Dick Toledo from Homework's morning sickness. And my first time fishing in Arizona was up in Greer with my friend Jeremy. He was the pro that I'm definitely not. But grabbing a fishing license that weekend was the passport that opened up the whole state to me. And you can get your [e-mail] and discover for yourself a whole new way to take in the Arizona site.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked.

[Larry McFeely]

The number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row.

[John Holmberg]

Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who.

[Larry McFeely]

Don'T just embrace technology, they live it.

[John Holmberg]

From advancing computer science and robotics to.

[Larry McFeely]

Cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu.mo and don't just study tech live.

[John Holmberg]

It's.