05-07-25 - Emailers Chiming In w/More Battle Suggestions Including 100 Hungry Bradys - Realizing How Many Traded Player Jerseys We Have - Today Is The Day Real ID Reqs Take Effect But John Rants Against Complying And Getting One

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (May 7, 2025)

Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Broadcasted on: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Episode Title: Emailers Chiming In w/More Battle Suggestions Including 100 Hungry Bradys - Realizing How Many Traded Player Jerseys We Have - Today Is The Day Real ID Reqs Take Effect But John Rants Against Complying And Getting One
Release Date: May 7, 2025

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1. Introduction and Warm-Up

The episode kicks off with the usual energetic banter among the hosts, setting a lively tone for the morning show. Brief mentions of upcoming comedy events in the Valley provide listeners with entertainment options for the week ahead.

2. Battle Suggestions: 100 Hungry Bradys vs. 100 Holmbergs

A significant portion of the episode revolves around listener-submitted battle scenarios. The standout discussion features a hypothetical "storm sewer apple pie challenge" pitting 100 versions of host John Holmberg (the "100 Holmbergs") against host Brady Bogen.

• Bert (Bret Vesely): "[...] 100 Holmbergs versus Brady in a storm sewer apple pie challenge. The hundred Holmbergs are gonna just be just from." [02:30]

• John Holmberg: "I was gonna bet on Brady, because you would never do it. It's not even Brady." [06:43]

The conversation humorously explores the strengths and weaknesses of both Brady and multiple John Holmbergs in an unconventional eating contest setting. The hosts debate resilience, competitive spirit, and humorous exaggerations of their personas, engaging listeners with their playful chemistry.

3. NFL Trade News and Jersey Collection Frustrations

Transitioning from light-hearted battles, the hosts delve into recent NFL trade news, specifically the Pittsburgh Steelers trading George Pickens to the Dallas Cowboys. This move stirs frustration among fans, particularly concerning jersey collections.

• Bert (Bret Vesely): "Now, I have three George Pickens jerseys. Now they're gone. So there you go. George Pickens is a Dallas Cowboy." [16:30]

• Bert: "I have hundreds of jerseys, and I betcha 10 of them are Steelers for life kind of thing." [19:27]

The discussion highlights the common fan dilemma of investing in player jerseys only for those players to be traded, leading to cluttered closets and a sense of loss among dedicated supporters. The hosts sympathize with listeners who find themselves with an excess of now-redundant jerseys, adding a relatable touch to the conversation.

4. The Real ID Mandate: A Heated Rant

A central theme of the episode is the implementation of Real ID requirements for air travel, which takes place on the day of the broadcast. Host John Holmberg leads a passionate rant against the new mandate, arguing that it imposes unnecessary inconvenience without substantial security benefits.

• Bert (Bret Vesely): "We are still absolutely allowed to fly. Like I've been saying the whole time with your old id. This is a joke." [23:49]

• Bert: "This is the biggest scam that's been pulled on us. And they're giggling and shaking hands and we think it's some [something]." [25:27]

The hosts express frustration over the perceived futility of the Real ID, comparing it to a financial scam that burdens travelers with additional steps and costs. They argue that the new ID doesn't significantly enhance security but rather serves as a revenue stream for authorities.

• John Holmberg: "This ID is pointless. What they did is just pushed us to do something, and why?" [23:49]

• Bert: "You walk right through that airport. You're spending money with an airline. If they start hearing that, most of us are going 'all right, fine. I just won't travel by air then.'" [37:00]

5. Airport Frustrations: From Security to Pricing

Expanding on their grievances with the Real ID, the hosts discuss broader issues related to airport experiences, including extended security lines, inflated prices at airport vendors, and the transformation of airports into expansive shopping malls.

• Bert: "The airport has become the biggest scam on the planet. It's amazing." [24:35]

• John Holmberg: "It's really that far." [45:18]

They criticize the inefficiency of airport processes, the exorbitant costs of food and beverages, and the overall inconvenience imposed on travelers. The conversation touches on how these changes negatively impact the passenger experience, making air travel more stressful and expensive.

6. Light-Hearted Sports and Music Banter

Interspersed with the critical discussions are moments of light-hearted banter about sports and music. The hosts share opinions on recent football games, player performances, and new music releases, maintaining an engaging and entertaining atmosphere.

• John Holmberg: "It's heavy. If you like Parkway Drive, you'll like it." [52:25]

• Bert: "It's called Sacred. And the new album is not out just now." [52:38]

This segment provides a pleasant break from the more intense conversations, allowing listeners to enjoy diverse topics and the hosts' dynamic interactions.

7. Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reiterate their stance against the Real ID mandate, encouraging listeners to voice their opinions and consider alternatives to air travel if feasible. They also reinforce the importance of staying informed and engaged with community issues, wrapping up the show with their characteristic blend of humor and assertiveness.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bert (Bret Vesely):
  "100 Holmbergs versus Brady in a storm sewer apple pie challenge." [02:30]
  "This ID is pointless. What they did is just pushed us to do something, and why?" [23:49]

• John Holmberg:
  "I was gonna bet on Brady, because you would never do it. It's not even Brady." [06:43]
  "This ID is pointless. What they did is just pushed us to do something, and why?" [23:49]

• Bert (Bret Vesely):
  "The airport has become the biggest scam on the planet. It's amazing." [24:35]
  "The airport has become the Biggest scam on the planet. It's amazing." [24:35]
  "This is the biggest scam that's been pulled on us." [25:27]

• John Holmberg:
  "If they start hearing that, most of us are going, 'all right, fine. I just won't travel by air then.'" [37:00]

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Conclusion

In this episode, Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivers a mix of humor, sports enthusiasm, and fervent discussions on pressing local issues. The passionate debate over the Real ID requirements stands out as a key moment, showcasing the hosts' commitment to advocating for their listeners' concerns. Meanwhile, the light-hearted battles and sports commentary ensure that the show remains entertaining and relatable to a broad Arizona audience.

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Note: This summary omits advertisement segments and non-content sections to focus on the episode's core discussions and listener-engaging moments.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Brett]

All right, HMS Podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you. All this for the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years. Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, DeWalt and more. They also specialize in tool repair including hydraulics like Burndy and commercial electric contractor tools, as well as having a state of the art on site glove testing facility. Visit Fisher Tools in store or [e-mail] and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order. Fisher Tools brands you know, service you trust.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from Amco. And Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?

[Wayne]

No, Larry, if you have an extended service contract, you can use it at any amco.

[Larry McFeely]

It's nice to have other options.

[Wayne]

I'll say. Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles and faster service.

[Larry McFeely]

Amco does more than just transmissions, right?

[Wayne]

Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell, or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first.

[Larry McFeely]

Just Google Amco for your near location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and.

[Brett]

A whole lot more.

[Brady]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Bert]

What the hell is wrong with you? I forgot about that guy. It's miles to nowhere right there. Brady just made me think of somebody that used to work here. Now I can't stop thinking of his. He was just a hump of a man. It's like just a big lump. Remember you'd bring us weed infused barbecue? We didn't know that. I made this last night if you'd like some. I'm sure we'll take some. And then he'd get down there and he'd Reach into his igloo cooler and bring out vacuum packed meats from home. And I'm like, oh, I didn't know you're making this from home. I thought you're oh, I make this myself. And it was just full of pot meat. Popped. Not potted meat. Meat pop. He hated me.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's getting high at work.

[Bert]

Hated me. Some guy says, who eats more towel wrapped brisket in a storm sewer? One Brady or 100 Holmbergs? That is a true battle. 100 Holmbergs versus Brady in a storm sewer apple pie challenge. The hundred Holmbergs are gonna just be just from. Oh, man. That's an actual. The competitive nature of the 100 Holmbergs gets involved. And the 100 Holmbergs chokes down their absolute hatred for homemade food that's delivered to a storm sewer for. And Brady would eat. I don't know if it is me getting 100 me's getting through eight pies. And you. You'd knock that out in a heartbeat. You're competitive too. And you'd have a bunch of trepidatious home birds. They're going, I can't eat this. This lady's got booger fingers and cat hair all over. Homemade food is. That is a tough one for me. I think I'd go with 100 homburgs just on pure volume that a couple of them might go rogue out of spite. A couple of them might just go, I'm gonna beat him and just. Oh, I'm gonna try and then throw it up later. Yeah. But 100 Holmbergs in the storm sewer eating those pies that Brady likes or those damn chilies that he. Ugh. This is bucket of chili. When's the last time you washed?

[Gina]

I can still taste the soap.

[Bert]

That's not so that's formaldehyde. Oh.

[Gina]

Has a hint of dawn in it.

[Bert]

But Brady. Yeah, that one Brady down there eating storm sewer foods is poof. Those who don't know Brady likes to judge contests in storm sewers during the holidays. A lot of them. He's the neighborhood go to. Brady will eat it. Let's just cook it and put it in the grass down there and he'll graze on that. Do you bring your own fork? That's adorable. If you do like the golden fork of judgment going to get you a golden fork of judgment. Because you know you're going to get asked again. Is there some sort of annoying spring fling your neighborhood's going to have down in that storm sewer soon?

[Gina]

They had an Easter egg hunt yeah.

[Bert]

There'S no food down there for you. Yeah, they didn't do like a cook off there.

[Gina]

It's just the.

[Bert]

Had they done it, though.

[Gina]

It's just the fall festival. They don't reenact the Christmas.

[Bert]

Because the Christmas storm sewer party. They reenact Jesus.

[Gina]

Not. No, that don't. That used to be the Easter one.

[Bert]

Oh, they. They hang them up.

[Gina]

They would have. Oh, no, no, no. Christmas.

[Bert]

Yeah, they did a Christmas thing.

[Gina]

I'm thinking of the one, though. I went to the. The Christmas. I guess. Was that the Christmas pageant.

[Bert]

That's a storm sewer. Don't throw the word pageant around that. Well, that's liberally.

[Gina]

Because I went to the big production at the Mormon Temple one year.

[Bert]

Oh, that's different. Yeah. In your storm sewer, though, you had a play one year because you asked me to go and I started laughing.

[Gina]

They were doing a play.

[Bert]

Yeah. In the storm sewer. Yep. Yeah, in the retention basin.

[Gina]

They put it above the storm sewer.

[Bert]

You know what I'm talking about? Where was it? Above that. We had donkeys, but it wasn't in the. In the water retention.

[Gina]

They would make the manger on the top of the, you know, hill going down.

[Bert]

Well, yeah, because that's got to be a.

[Gina]

A.

[Bert]

It's a pool for water. Rain off. It's a runoff thing. You guys make it a storm sewer restaurant.

[Gina]

So the manger get set up there and then. And it's next to a really tall tree. And that someone gets up there with a. Extension and puts a giant star up there.

[Bert]

Oh, three wise. Yeah, they got to see that. Or the whole play shot. And then you down in the bottom just waiting for that chili cook off to start. Just like chili like in Jerusalem. I mean, the winter's chilly. 100 Holmbergs versus one Brady in a storm sewer. Judgment. I'm. That is a. That is a real battle. 100 home birds at a food truck. Could we do more damage than one Brady? And I'd say no. I say all 100 homburgs kind of bail out on eating it. If it's all 100 me's, like, there's no glitch in the. In the car matrix. Yeah. Like, they're all really me. I. The second I get up to that window, I'm like, I can't do this. Like, all 100 of them would walk away. I'm gonna get myself hot.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I was saying. I was gonna bet on Brady, because you would never do it. It's not even Brady.

[Bert]

It's you have to have one and then you get into then that begs the question. And now it becomes philosophical. If that Holmberg ordered food from the food truck to defeat Brady, would he be a homeberg? Would it actually be what it actually count in character? He would have to break out of the brand. I won't do it.

[John Holmberg]

Taking Brady on the fanduel odds, I would too.

[Bert]

I would take Brady over 100 Homburg's in any sort of storm sewer. Eat off. Now if it was a eating contest, one homework and 100 Brady's, there'd be one disappointed lady and 100 ladies that have been with me. I'm not eating that. You are what you eat. That's right. That's exactly right. Roots and sticks and I do that down there in a storm. So isn't that weird though? And I, I admit that that's got to be more problematic than home cooked food. But I don't think anybody's ever gotten food poisoning from eating. Has that happened?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Bert]

Can you get giardia from that? I know you can get like something, but I don't think you can get like 4 days sick off a Michael Douglas got throat cancer. So I guess that anyway. I like Derek. I like Derek's name. Brett, you printed this one up? Derek Angermeyer. Damn. You're living a life. You got to live up to that says I'm sick of this hundred man argument with that gorilla. The men would win easily. You're assuming that these men are pussies like you guys. Men are ferocious. I'll take 10 MMA fighters to do the job or 10 tards. Either way that creatures going down.

[John Holmberg]

Anger wire has spoken.

[Bert]

Anger Meyer makes his point. Justin Scudella. This is and all my emails. I have other stuff we can get to, but I can't because this thing dominant. 50 gorillas versus one man with 245 handguns. Gorillas.

[Gina]

Oh yeah.

[Bert]

You need like eight of them. You probably a few of them. They can take the shots.

[Gina]

Yeah. And it's still coming at you.

[Bert]

I watched a body cam thing on ID the other day and I think it was in Grand Rapids. They've got live PD body cam and. And they're in Grand Rapids and this dude standing next to a guy's okay, I need you to stop walking. And the dude turns and out of his hoodie pulls a like out of the like I'm wearing one right now. It's just out of the zipper party pulls a gun and from me to Brett, he fires at him, hits him four times. Dude doesn't even know he's been shot. Starts chasing the guy, and then he drops to his knees like, what's going on? And he's losing blood like crazy. Even feel the shots. He was ready to fight.

[Gina]

Yeah.

[Bert]

And he's pulling his gun out and he's shooting back and he clips him. A gorilla. The leathery 2. 45. I know they're man stoppers, but I think a gorilla coming at you, I mean, cops will tell you the 21 foot rule. A dude with a knife, you can shoot him. You're still getting stabbed.

[Gina]

If he's coming towards you, that's the main thing.

[Bert]

You.

[Gina]

You start firing, but it closes. Inside of 13ft. Good night.

[Bert]

Inside of 13. We do that drill over there. At react defense, you have your gun drawn and your back turned. And you know you're going to get attacked from 21ft. And you turn around on the first step. Identify who's attacking. You aim it. By that, it's too late. You're getting stabbed. You might shoot them, but you're getting. You're taking a knife. This one says John. Who would win this? 100 men guarding a barbecue banquet versus one Brady who hasn't eaten in four weeks. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Brady.

[Bert]

That 100 men would win this? No, but Brady's going to get some food.

[John Holmberg]

Then that's not a win.

[Bert]

So it's zero food in Brady's mouth. Okay.

[Gina]

It's like getting a punch in.

[John Holmberg]

See, that's. That's changing.

[Bert]

I was going to say getting the ball over the goal line once, for the most part, you're getting blown out of this contest, but I think you're going to.

[John Holmberg]

He's getting a ribbon. There's no doubt about it.

[Bert]

I think his hands are. His hands are getting some sauce.

[John Holmberg]

He's getting a rib.

[Bert]

Will he actually grab a chicken wing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is he getting a full rack of ribs? No, but he's getting a rib.

[Bert]

And there you go back into that hallway prism. Brady just has to find the weak spot. It's like red rover. Are they all in a ball? Because that doesn't help them. Are they in a line circled around the. That leaves it one on two. I think Brady can get through and get some food. I'm saying you'd have to. You'd have to put a defense up. You'd have to have a hundred men layered. The Brady have to get through like 10 levels of 10.

[Gina]

I don't know. I. I think he go guard.

[Bert]

That depends on who's coaching. Guys like Ads Go out there willy nilly. I think you can. I can bust through the first few lines anyway. Good luck with that. I still like the hundred Holmbergs versus one Brady in the storm sewer though. That stuff's awesome. The eating challenges. Yeah, that's pretty good. By the way, I'm well aware of what's happened this morning in football and I'm getting all the texts. I'm kind of distracted a little bit. The Steelers have traded George Pickens to the Cowboys and football fans out there all we don't know what four third and a fifth and we give up a sixth as well. The Steelers now have 13 picks in next year's draft. So I'll just say it now. I'm going to go to sleep and I'm going to wake up. It'll be May of 2026 and I'll have my new Arch Manning jersey because we're going to trade up and grab a quarterback in next year's draft. So I don't know. You know, I think it stinks though frankly, to not see George Pickens and DK Metcalf on the same field. But George Pickens and CD Lamb on the same field, that's pretty goddamn awesome too. So Cowboy fans, yuck. You're welcome. I still don't think you're going to win anything because now you got two divas and Dak Prescott George down there in Dallas. There's going to be a problem on those sidelines. He gets. He's a big fat baby. I love the kid. I think he's amazing and maybe he'll mature because he's young. He's only like 24, but he's a big fat baby. So football trade right here. It's.

[Gina]

Man, that's a. That's a nice weapon. Dallas.

[Bert]

That's great. So now the Steelers have no quarterback and only DK Metcalf. And now Robert was. I don't know. We'll see. And there's rumors out there, Cardinal fans that we're looking at Kyler Murray. I don't see with next year's quarterback draft us doing that.

[John Holmberg]

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[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Byron]

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[Bert]

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[Brady]

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[Bert]

Holmberg's morning sickness, as you say.

[John Holmberg]

What? What. What's the rumors with Rogers? Is that dead now?

[Bert]

No, he's. He's going to sign with Steelers. It's. I either retires or resigns with Steelers and I don't think he's done. So it's. It's a. It's a mess. That's a whole disaster. But yes, I did see. George Pickens is traded and football is now year round. Like you can't have the NBA playoffs have been the second round last night. Those games, last three of the last four games have been absolutely incredible buzzer beater games. Hockey, if you're not watching Stanley cup playoff hockey right now, I don't know what happened the other night in Winnipeg. Three to one with two minutes left and they put two in, tie it, go to overtime and then win the whole damn thing in double overtime. Some of the best play you've ever Stanley cup and NFL managers just go, hang on just a second. We've got something to say. And it takes over all of sports. It's incredible how we flip out over, you know, NFL stuff. They just. They whisper NFL's talk. Everybody be quiet. No more sports matter for a minute. Especially when you get teams that are like the Cowboys and Steelers and even the Bears, and you get the big names and they make these huge trades. This is a big one. That's a huge trade. You don't see that too much. So now I've got three more jerseys that are useless. I have three George Pickens jerseys. I have the color rush one, the white one, and the black one. Now, they are all pointless to go hand in hand with the thousands of other jerseys that I've purchased off guys that I figured would be there at least through their rookie contract. And now they're gone. Nope. So there you go. George Pickens is a Dallas Cowboy.

[Gina]

This is amazing how often. I mean, there's rarely a jersey. A guy that stays there. I mean, I guess a jersey is.

[Bert]

Good for three years right now.

[Gina]

It's just like the average career.

[Bert]

You get excited about a young guy on your team. Like, you get. It's rare that a Joe Burrow pops up. He's like, he's going to be a Bengal for a long time. Yeah, they have to win the first four years or they're going to be shipped out. Nobody's going to pay them. I got my TJ Watt jersey. That's pretty safe. He's 10 years and he's Steeler Legend now. That's good. Cam Heyward, those kind of things. Cardinal fans, I don't know what jerseys you buy. I still see a dude every once in a while. Where? That's it. That's it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Bert]

I see a guy in a Kevin Cobb jersey up here at the still. I've seen him twice donate that thing. I think he's homeless.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm saying.

[Bert]

Yeah, but Kevin Cobb, John Skelton, I mean, the list of quarterbacks that have come here and flopped out.

[Gina]

Your Campbell jersey is back in the mix.

[Bert]

Yeah. Calais is home. That's nice. If you were a big Klaus Campbell defensive line fan, it's a good jersey. He went off and got himself some accolades and played it places in one and then came back. But I don't know, other than Larry Fitzgerald, I don't know who you're buying out there. Cardinal fans. Buddha Baker. Keep your fingers crossed. Yeah, that could go sideways, too. And jerseys are, you know, they dropped the price on them so you can buy them easier. Used to be 300 bucks on like 120.

[John Holmberg]

It's because everybody bought them from China, Right?

[Bert]

Because they lost the fight. 100 Chinese were making jerseys cheaper than one American. So it worked out that way. They were the. We were the gorilla in that. But, yeah. So now, I don't know. I don't know what you do. You buy Larry Fitzgerald and Cardinal fans. That's it. Maybe a Kurt Warner.

[Gina]

You go with that. Maybe you could buy a Lomax.

[Bert]

Yeah, but why? You could buy a Burline. But why? Jake Plumber.

[John Holmberg]

Snake.

[Bert]

Yeah, but why? If you're gonna get a Jake Plummer, get the cool ASU one, because that's local. And he still, you know, because he went to Denver and won. That was where he actually did some damage one year, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Get the Pat jersey, too.

[Bert]

Tillman. Yeah, there you go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Bert]

And I don't even think of him as a football jersey. That's just a tribute to the man because I see a lot. I like the ASU. Pat Tillman's better. The 40. The 42 is better than the 40. They're cool. Anyway, so I get it. But now I've got stupid jerseys sitting in my closet again. I want to. I should probably put them out and display them all. The jerseys of Guy, I have Devin Bush, I have Chase Claypool, I have. Now George Pickens, I have Najee Harris, I have Kenny Pickett. I've got a load of guys flaming out. And it's my own fault, you know, I bought them early. Thinking, all right, this one you're gonna get behind. Let's do it. I have hundreds of jerseys, and I betcha 10 of them are Steelers for life kind of thing.

[John Holmberg]

Adrian Wilson, that's a good one.

[Bert]

You get. Adrian was Patrick Peterson in a weird way, because even though he went and ran away, he was. He became kind of Cardinal lure anyway, so. Yeah, so the thing I'm most upset about George Pickens becoming a Dallas Cowboy is that my jerseys are now irrelevant. I should sell them. You know, truck stops do it. I was at the Rip Griffins once, and I saw a Steelers Jr. Seow. They were misprints. And I'm like, oh, cool. They got a Steeler Jersey and it's 55. Say, ow. Did I miss something?

[John Holmberg]

Should have got just to F. I almost did.

[Gina]

It was $80.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Bert]

Put you out of your minds. This is a $5 buy. This is. This is a. This is fantasy football. This is not a thing. And then I looked through, and there was like, a Ladanian Tomlinson with the Falcons, and I think it was Tomlinson I assume it was 21 ladanian. I was like, these are misprints. These are goofs. There was a Roger Staubach Eagles. I don't think that there was ever a number 12 named Staubach that played for the Eagles, but that was there. And I'm thumbing through these. Not a couple of them were real. Earlocker Bears. Like, this is weird. And I, you know, I wanted to get the junior set was $80. Not spending 80 bucks on a Rip Griffin Chinese knockoff goof.

[John Holmberg]

What's the. What's the worst jersey you bought?

[Bert]

This is sad. There's two of them.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Bert]

One was a guy named Dre Archer. You don't remember Dre Archer at all. Don't nod like you know who Dre Archer is, because you don't. He was a seventh round draft pick who happened to run the 40 and like four, two time. Like he had ridiculous 40 times. And the Steelers took a flyer on him. He's about 5, 5, 145 pounds. And I thought he was going to be the greatest kick returner of all time. This dude was the man. Thirteen ordered it up. Two problems with it. Three, Archer got cut basically one year. Second, the first day I had it, it was the white jersey. I washed it with my jeans and I didn't realize I'd left it in there with my jeans. And. And it soaked in all the blue.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Bert]

For some reason, that jersey sucked in color. So it was more gray than it was anything else because I let it sit and I'm like, oh, boy, that's bad. The other one was a guy named Senquez Golson, who I was hyping up coming out of college. He had a shoulder injury. Like, this dude's going to be the best cornerback Steelers have had in years. Broke his shoulder the very first practice in his rookie year. So he sat out, came back, played a little bit in the. And broke his shoulder again. And I'm there. I am a number 27 Golson jersey.

[John Holmberg]

And those are 300 jersey.

[Bert]

Right? Those were the days when it wasn't cheap. And I'm getting them specially made. They weren't printing up as Goldson jerseys. Three, Archer, Sinquez Golson. Bad, bad. But so I've got a couple of gems and they're still hanging in there because I see drees, number 13 now and again in that weirdest grayish blue white thing that I accidentally created.

[Gina]

He was an all star. Was he Mid America?

[Bert]

You just looked that up. Don't act like you've Bringing. Yeah, you're not allowed yet. You're not allowed.

[Gina]

I was thinking of someone else.

[Bert]

You're not allowed to look at your phone, put it down. And then spew facts like you're, you know, like you're Mad Dog. It's just ugly.

[John Holmberg]

Brady.

[Bert]

Mad Dog. Yeah. I saw him look at his phone. I'm like, he's gonna come back with three Archer stats. As if we're supposed to suddenly have not seen his magic trick.

[Gina]

Kent State flash.

[Bert]

We watched you do this and put it down. I was like, they'll never know. No, we found you. No, nobody knows who Drew Archer is. Even Kent State's like, you went here. Yeah, I'm Dre Archer. And the name, one more time. The name. So tree. Archer. Tree. No. Tree. It is not good. Yeah. You can't look something up and then start spewing facts at us. Did you see that, Brad? He was trying to. That's rude. You think we're stupid? He was a Mid American all star. Oh, really? Yeah, go.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody knows.

[Bert]

Go on. Oh, Merlin of information. He was. But I have his jersey, so if I ever meet him, I'm gonna have a monograph. That's for sure. It is May 7th. And that folks means that you are still absolutely allowed to fly. Like I've been saying the whole time with your old id. This is a joke.

[John Holmberg]

This is postpone it.

[Bert]

This is. This is as bad.

[Gina]

And they're bringing it back there early.

[Bert]

Whatever.

[Gina]

And that's the only reason spending more time in there.

[Bert]

The only reason airports want you there early is to shop. You have never once cut it close by their guidelines of you got to get here to 2 1/2 hours earlier Christmas time. Why do you think they make you show up at four hours? Oh, you better get there three hours before you're milling around in there for at least an hour. If you're there three hours before your flight at Christmas and what are you doing flying somewhere for Christmas? What do you do in that hour? You wander through those stupid stores. Wherever you're flying isn't Arizona. So you got a nephew or a niece that you're going to be seeing, going. You know who'd love that Diamondbacks thing? That T shirt and that. You buy something at the airport or you hit the beers.

[John Holmberg]

$18 of santan.

[Bert]

Yeah, you go over to San Tan. You go over to one of the breweries that are sitting there or you go to the Matt's big breakfast and you have food you don't want. It is the airport has become the Biggest scam on the planet. It's amazing. They turned them into malls and then started to tell us, yeah, yeah, stand here for three hours minimum. You got to get here. If you don't get here three hours early, you're never going to make your flight. I've never, ever been close to missing a flight. And I won't leave the house unless it's like an hour till flight time. I leave my house one hour before the flight leaves. That's for the big boy airport. That's why JSX is so great. I literally walk in about boarding time at JSX and they look at you like, you're good, go ahead. So this, this whole scam, they got. So you got to go get a new id and now they're telling you if you don't. What did they tell you?

[Gina]

Over 18, you don't have a real ID. You should get to the airport again, three hours or. Because you'll be subject to delays and additional screening, you should also bring as many forms of ID as possible, sir.

[Bert]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Bring my filing with your picture.

[Bert]

That's one thing the terrorists won't do is comply with identification. They're gonna. They're gonna argue with the TSA as much as possible.

[Gina]

They're like, even library cards.

[John Holmberg]

How many terrorists have a Costco card that they could just show them?

[Bert]

I read where you can bring a bill with your address on it. Like you can bring your SRP bill. Look, this is. Yeah, no terrorist is gonna be like, no, I won't show you any more of this. I've done enough. It's like, no, they're going to comply. The only people guaranteed to comply to all this are terrorists. Cuz they want to sail through the airport and get to their mission. They're making it hard on us because it's like 20 bucks a guy. They're fleecing us and they're making us stay at the airport longer. I'm not getting this new idea.

[Gina]

I'm not doing it like a passport. If you have your passport, you're gold.

[Bert]

Sure.

[Gina]

If you have a Canadian driver's license, you're gold.

[Bert]

Yeah. What?

[Gina]

Go over there.

[Bert]

All right. Go to Vancouver and learn to drive.

[John Holmberg]

That's the 51st country.

[Bert]

So state. 51st country. My God, we're mopping them up like crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[Byron]

Nope. We work with all our distributors so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com.

[Brett]

Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years. Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, DeWalt and more. They also specialize in tool repair including hydraulics like Burndy and commercial electric contractor tools as well as having a state of the art on site glove testing facility. Visit Fisher Tools in store or [e-mail] and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order. Fisher Tools brands you know, service you trust.

[Gina]

They give a list of all the rundown of other IDs that can work.

[Bert]

It scares me because Trump met with the Canadian Prime Minister yesterday and then today said a big announcement. With Canada coming today. It's coming today. I don't know what it's going to be. And it's not about trade. Like, all right, Magic eight ball, tell us what this is. You can't. I can't go to bed with this. Maybe there'll be a state, I don't know because the guy from Canada yesterday said we're not for sale. Never say never. And that's where that ended. And I'm like, you two idiots are up to something.

[Gina]

Had a great meeting.

[Bert]

By the by though, back to what I was talking about, that damn ID is pointless. And the more we comply to crap like this, the more they're going to hit us with it. And I know it's not a lot of money. This is nothing.

[Gina]

It's not going anywhere. You're going to have to.

[Bert]

Neither am I. And I'm going to drive. I'm going to bring my ID and go. This is how I travel, by the way. I just spent $1,000 to fly to San Diego. You're going to tell me, all right, give me my money back. I'll drive. Do you think the airlines would would if we were a little bit. All we want is to not be hassled and I understand that. Get your id. Sail through this thing is the biggest the biggest scam that's been pulled on us. And they're giggling and shaking hands and we think it's some. What's the difference between my current ID and this one? Nothing.

[Gina]

Gold star.

[Bert]

Nothing. There's this star on it and a hologram. And there's absolutely nothing it does for security purposes or for any other reason than to say we fleeced you for another 25 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Now, what if. What if you have TSA pre check or that clear thing or something? Do you still need the travel id?

[Bert]

No idea.

[John Holmberg]

Or do you just roll it?

[Bert]

You probably have to redo your clear application and say, here's my new ID so I can.

[John Holmberg]

Because I got pre check, right? And I just go right through.

[Bert]

Yeah, everybody. I'm telling you like I used to with photo radar. This is a joke. Walk right through that airport. You're spending money with an airline. If the airlines start hearing that, most of us are going, all right, fine. I just won't travel by air then. You're making it really difficult for me to do this. And you want me to come to the airport three hours early kind of day do you think I have? I gotta fly for five and hang out here for three. That's a workday. Yeah, you're an idiot to think that that's a good idea. We need to start telling people, no thanks. Gotta have that new travel id. For what? Security, safety. We think the star. Really? No. It's gonna be tougher for you to get through the line. No, it's not. You said that for years and the lines have never been that bad.

[Gina]

Wait until you go there with your travel ID and you're still waiting on.

[Bert]

And you're still gonna make your flight because they lie to you about getting there two hours early so you can have $72 nachos and a beer. It is the biggest scam going and I want an attorney general somewhere to go. What's going on with airports? They triple charge me for a beer. They make me show up two hours early. They threaten me. You don't have to. My friend. Flies all the time. It's like If I'm there 20 minutes before the flight leaves, I'm in. Like, they never leave right on time. The boarding time. Trip is. Trip leaves to go to the airport. 12, 15 minutes for the flight leaves. It's unreal. It's all lies. And. And to. And there is nothing your ID is doing new that's different than your old ID other than you paid a little extra. And this is this. I'm I'm, you know, if this was McDonald's and they said, look, you can't come through a drive thru anymore unless you give us 27 for a membership, we wouldn't do it. Like you're scamming me. That's ridiculous. Well, you had your old membership card, now you got a new one and it's star on it. It's 27 more. No, we're not doing that. I'm just going to drive through and I'm going to take my chances. You're going to take my money with my old id because I think you will. Another thing they're trying to do is bring back that photo radar, which is another money scam and already are. I mean, well, they've got. But now they're putting up the businesses. They're going to go the old thing where they have a business that does it and the city gets paid by them. I think it's intense.

[Gina]

Better contract.

[Bert]

Never pay for those. It's not, it's not something you should ever pay for. Throw them out. If they serve you with a process server, they gotcha. But that's what I'm. Look, I'm what? Two times and 48 tickets. 38 tickets. Sorry, two times and 38 tickets. Numbers and I was 37. And oh, I had a 37 ticket streak going. Almost all of them on Lincoln, they're two or three in a day. Once I got hit twice.

[Wayne]

Great.

[Bert]

Never paid them, never will. I don't want to hear it. This scam that you're running, fleecing people out of their money, doing dumb stuff and we never question it. What happened to us as a people? We'll sit and march on every stupid thing in the world, but when money's actually flying out of our pockets, we're like, yeah, we better do that. That's pretty inconvenient to go to the airport without my star. You're absolutely. Nothing changed at the airport. Nothing. I'll be minorly inconvenienced for another eight minutes if that. Because they're going to have initially the first few days there's going to be some of you, they're going to take some slings and arrows with your old id. They're going to try to make it. So you tell the story that, oh, it's a nightmare. I, I almost didn't make my flight. They're going to hold you right to the end of the flight and then they're going to let you on. That's how that's going to work. They're Going to make it seem like, nope, sorry, nothing we can do here. And you're like, I should have gotten that dumb idea. Next time I'm going to. And then they're going to get tired of it. And then a line will build up to where they have to hassle everybody. They're just going to let you all through. Prediction. Not a soul misses their flight with the old id. Not one of my.

[John Holmberg]

One of my people here, Brian Santucci, agrees with you. He goes, man, I was a Terminal 4 at Sky harbor, paid $55 for two old fashions, dude.

[Bert]

It's insane. The prices at what they're charging on the restaurants, crazy. And that is a scam that we walked right into. And you know who did it? Al Qaeda. And it's almost like they're hand in hand with Al Qaeda saying, you notice when airports turned into giant malls right after 9 11? What should have happened? Airport should have been not a place to hang around. It should have gone the opposite way. For safety's sake, let's not keep people milling around in here and soft target them. Let's get them in the planes and in the air and fast as possible. And no dilly dally. No. They said, oh, wow. For security sake, we got to walk you through that terrible security line. You should probably get here three hours early. They'll get you through that line on the worst day, Vegas. Sometimes you turn that corner in Vegas at McCarran. Now Reed Airport, you're like, oh, man.

[Gina]

Outside the door.

[Bert]

It's forever. And it's an hour at most. The worst I've ever been in line in Vegas was an hour, and it was New Year's Eve.

[Gina]

Well, Brett, you talked about the clear. I did the clear thing. One year. And I probably fly five times a year, Right. And out of the five, one time the clear came in, it saved maybe a little time.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Gina]

Most of you're going in. Oh, my gosh. They're getting through just as quick.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You don't have to take your shoes off. That's about the.

[Gina]

$189 a year.

[Bert]

It's 200 a year to keep your shoes on. Yeah.

[Gina]

Which I still don't understand.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the shoes.

[Gina]

Yeah. When you go through that full.

[Bert]

We had one shoe bomber. And you saw the thing that I've been saying for years also is that that x ray machine, it actually does take a picture of your dick. So me plumping up every time I rub up against the ass. Come on, Megan. Hold still for a sec. What are you doing? I'M not going in there like this. I gotta get a little thickness brewing for that. They can't see that. To hell they can't. It's an X ray machine. I gotta bump up. Nothing worse than my hip. X rays, when I was going in there, get my hips done and I'm like, that X ray shows my dick. The doctor's like, yep, just ask her.

[John Holmberg]

For a handy before you go in there.

[Bert]

Megan, come here. Oh, she would fight it. We're in line. Like, give me one. Come on. Stop doing that. I'm rubbing up against your ass. I'm getting thick. That's dumb. They don't care. I do. It's chilly in here. I don't want them to go. I don't want them to see that. I've got a name, for God's sakes. What if they're a listener? Hey, Homeberg, put your hands over your head. Hey, no, no, we don't see anything. This yellow blob. It's like you're seeing my dick and it's cold in here because of that. You guys are doing this on purpose. They just had that big thing. It is a huge scam. And we walked right into this trap. And Al Qaeda and our government shook hands and said, we screwed up your air travel, but you guys will find a way to take advantage of it financially. And man, did we. You think the airports and the airlines and all those people are in your corner after 9 11, they said, how can we kill the consumers on this one? They're going to be scared for years. Hey, what if we tell them to get there three hours early and we open more stores? Vegas airport is a goddamn playground. It's a casino. It's a mall. There's restaurants, liquor stores, liquor stores. There's all of it.

[Gina]

Get a massage.

[Bert]

And I got nothing to do because I always show up there. I'm like, just in case they're right, I better get there a couple hours early, get dropped off. And I'm like, damn it. I go to JSX, I was 30 minutes early for the flight. And you realize nothing has to happen. There's no mall. There's nothing to do. And I was mad at myself because I left a little early. None of that's necessary. JSX proved it. None of you people need to be here. Sitting around for two hours and they turned airports into soft targets. I'm not saying. I'm just saying because I'm a realist. Don't get mad at me. Karen's. But if you ask Me, if I'm a terrorist, all I got to do is get to the airport. I don't even need to go through security. There's 100,000 people just walking around with nothing to do for a while. If I'm going to blow anything up, it's that. I'm not saying I'm gonna. I'm just saying they've created a soft target. That thing should be like a slaughterhouse. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Everybody on the plane. Let's go, let's go. Get here five minutes before the plane leaves. We don't have time to have you wandering around. Let's go. Next. In fact, they should redesign the airport like a McDonald's drive through. All right, who's going to Baltimore? Hands. Go, go, go, go, go, go. Let's go. Get on the plane. Go, go, go, go. Give us your bags. We'll throw them under there. And then that thing takes off. Instead of, why don't you wander by, like, 15 restaurants? There's a lot of options, and for a while there, I marveled at it. Like, wow, the pita jungle. There's a mat's big breakfast. There's a barrio queen. When did this happen?

[Gina]

That's for a lot of the overnight stays. When the flights are delayed or canceled, they close them.

[Bert]

They're not in it for you. They're not going to sit there and go, we'll make you some breakfast. Like, nope, we close at 9. There's not supposed to be any flights. That's it. I. I hate this travel ID thing so much. And it's such a stupid fight for me to be bothered by. I should just comply. I do. With so many other things, but this one, I'm just like, no, what I did. Yeah, right. I, look, I fight dumb stuff sometimes. This is one of them. I should just shut up. But somebody has to say something. I will end up getting that dumb id. Somebody has to say something.

[John Holmberg]

You're a patriot.

[Bert]

They know that's exact. Thank you. Brett knows. I'm with Brett on this one. The guy, you know what? He's standing up for the people. It just seems like there's certain times when we just get smacked in the ass and we take it for convenience.

[Gina]

When you can't answer the question, what does that do different?

[Bert]

I'll tell you. I can answer it. And this is where we didn't answer the question ourselves. What does that ID do? It just bought you a little more convenience. And. And the powers that be know absolutely without question we will pay for convenience if we can afford it or not. If we're going to get hassled, we ask what's this cost me?

[John Holmberg]

Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Byron]

I sure do. It's M and P Guns Customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house. Master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP Guns customs.com it's John Holberg.

[Bert]

Here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Twenty years ago the Core Institute began and it's a better way of caring for people and there are a lot of people who are coping with pain in their bodies every day. The Core Institute specializes in helping the pain disappear. And I speak from experience. Here I am now living pain free and enjoying all the things I absolutely love to do. So if you're living in pain, you don't have to anymore. The Core Institute has been here for 20 years and they're going to be here for a lot longer than that. And you can stop living with pain and start saying yes to all the things you love to do. Go to the Core Institute.com all right.

[Brett]

HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand Up Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com.

[Bert]

And the only thing they said was you don't want to get hassled, pay the tariff. That's essentially what this idea is because the only repercussions is we're going to hassle you now. If you don't have it, you're going to get with at the airport. If you don't have it, well, what does it do if I do have It. When you get through faster. No, no, but what does it do? Safety. That's bullshit. Yeah.

[Gina]

Is there additional information on there?

[Bert]

No. Is it. Is it a. Is it a reader? They already have that on mine, by the way. Yeah, okay, but they scan mine now.

[Gina]

Just to check if I guess.

[Bert]

Yeah, they scan my current id. There's nothing different. Yeah, this guy says, why in the F are the airport convenience store so small? It's nine miles of empty corridor space. I got to walk past and they get to that thing and it's like inches. That's true. They. They also make that miserable thousands of feet. You could be building better convenience stores. Australia.

[Gina]

Does this still work at that bar in Tempe? Can I get in with the id?

[Bert]

Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, I could sell my current idea when I get my new one to.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there you go.

[Bert]

Kids over at the Tempe Tavern also had a 911 incident. I believe. It's all about additional evidence needed to get one birth certificate. Etc. The fuss is about having them having a database of foreign nationals and immigrants. By the way, it was imposed 20 effing years ago and lefties have whined about it for that long. Churchill photo radar is bullshit. How he closed this. It's true. This was a 20 year old idea. I didn't realize 20 years ago they were like, let's do this. And certain people are, why? Oh, we get 25 bucks out of everyone. That's pretty good, isn't it? And who gets it? I don't know. The dmv? Pain in the ass. Guess what? Once we kind of do this, it's like when they did this with gas. What's their threshold? Raise it to six bucks. If they start complaining and drop it to five, they'll feel like we're giving them deal. It used to be two. They're doing this here. It's like, well, they pay 25 for a star on their ID. Are they that dumb? And we're like, yo, push it. Like, all right, well, the star's not working. You know, you get double star and you could skip the convenience. You don't even have to go through a line if you do a double star. How do I get that 150 bucks? I'll do that. That's better. And they sit back and look and these idiots will do anything to not stand in line. I think we can get them to get new IDs every year. It's not my fault that every state in the nation said that driver's license is 30 years just and Then they realized, whoops, we just lost a ton of revenue not making them renew this stupid.

[John Holmberg]

No taxation without representation unless I'm slightly inconvenienced.

[Bert]

Exactly. Any convenience trumps any of your rights, and that's our fault. Kyle says as a goof, I just googled, do the Bushes have any investments in airports? And immediately a message popped up wanting to know my precise location. I want to say right now, publicly, I have zero plans to commit suicide or anything like that. Damn it. I shouldn't have typed that. I have information will put Hillary Clinton in prison for life in my computer. Yeah, keep that up, Kyle. I think the Bushes own.

[Gina]

They own the land at Denver.

[Bert]

In Denver, there's a couple politicians that have that. Yeah. Airports are that. Need somebody. Somebody smarter than me needs to do a documentary about airports and where all this goes and what's going on with money and why they're malls and why we're supposed to be there for three hours.

[Gina]

And the thing about the Denver. Denver airport is the land. You know, they got that approved. It's way out.

[Bert]

Yeah. Oh, it could have had it.

[Gina]

Yeah, they could have had it closer, but it's still. Somehow this seemed to be a better.

[Bert]

It sucks to get a lot of Denver because you'll land in Kansas so far away. Like, you're not even in the mountains. It's over in the flatlands of Colorado, and you can see Denver, but it's 40 minutes. Yeah, it's forever.

[John Holmberg]

It's really that far.

[Bert]

It's so far away, man. And it's just a bunch of casino tents that we stopped using.

[Gina]

It's cool when you go in there. Yeah.

[Bert]

It looks like a. It looks nuts. By the way, I also predict this. Somebody's gonna get mad at my bosses for me talking about this. There's going to be someone that calls and says something and tries to drum up a problem with me saying something about airports. Prediction. So I'm way ahead of you. Save your letter. I already know your fake letter is going to hit Tripp's desk. I think he was threatening. No, he wasn't make. Let's make it very clear. Never once. Well, he said there's. He's giving ideas. No, he wasn't. He's stating facts. I guarantee you a call comes in today. We didn't like him talking about these because I was telling the truth. Nobody likes that. If you ever see a little red dot on me. The airport did it.

[Gina]

Look.

[Bert]

The airport did it. You see that little laser dancing across my chest? The airport. Big airport. I call him. Who owns the airport? I don't even know. It's probably private. I don't even know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I thought it would be the city, but maybe not.

[Bert]

I don't know. Yeah, this guy goes jburg willing to pay a $400 a year fee for use of the HOV lane, but bitching about a 24, $25 ID I haven't paid the $400 fee. I'm saying if they offered it, I'd do it. But I'm taking my chances because currently the fee is 400 bucks if you get caught. If it was $25, if you got caught without your ID at the airport, wouldn't you take the chance? Like, I can still get through, right? It's like, yeah, you'd do it because you're doing it better.

[Gina]

Moneymaker there, right?

[Bert]

Yeah. Fine. People.

[Gina]

People would just do that. Here's 25.

[Bert]

Here's 25 extra dollars.

[Gina]

Another fee.

[Bert]

Yeah. You're kicking my ass on bags. Anyway, it's not about the money. It's about the idea. So screw you calling me jewbird, Michael. Not about paying it. It's about recognizing when you're getting kicked in the nuts. If a dollar getting kicked in the nuts for a dollar isn't worth it.

[John Holmberg]

The city owns sky harbor.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And they bought it in 1935 for 100k.

[Bert]

$100,000.

[John Holmberg]

That's good money in 35 good ROI.

[Bert]

Somebody saw the future there. The future's in disguise, boys. Anyway, I'm just, you know, I'm the spokesman for you guys. I'm seeing it. You can fight me and call me Jewburg all you want. I'm gonna sail right through that airport as basically a sovereign citizen. I. I do not need to get a new id. You got to tell me why. Just nuke. You got to comply to the new rules. Why? Hey, we just made new rules. Why? Just go ahead. You're an asshole. We thought. Everybody do it. I had to talk with you and Dale. I'll get right through that report. You will not, Johnny. I'll turn you around. Like. No, they won't. They're charging too much for tickets. They're not going to give me my money back for a flight. It's not happening. Nope. And what did the.

[Gina]

And they're basically saying, we're not going to turn you around.

[Bert]

They won't.

[Gina]

We just.

[Bert]

We're going to hassle. We're going to rough you up a little bit. We're going to rough? Yeah. We're going to turn you over and we're going to shake you down for a second. Then you're going to get on your plane, but you're going to be afraid because we're going to hold that till the last minute. You're going to be inconvenienced. All right, at least. You know what? At least it kills those two hours so I'm not spending all that money. And then you know what's going to happen is the restaurants. Be like, you got to let everybody through. This is ridiculous. You got too many people that aren't spending money now because you're making them all inconvenienced at the gate. Ridiculous. Silly. We get scammed so often we don't even pay attention anymore. This is my Boston Tea Party. May seem small, but. And like I said, I fight a lot of dumb stuff and I go with a lot of, you know, things I should be upset about. This is one of them. I'll pay nine dollar service charges for doordash for a sandwich. That's a fleecing. But you know what? That's me kicking my own ass.

[Gina]

I don't with my travel id.

[Bert]

Oh, you get to star. You get free doordash delivery. Yeah, I kick my own ass sometimes. And I can't complain about it because it's right there in front of me. I'm not doing it because I'm being told for safety. If they told me, it's an extra $10 for DoorDash. Keep Al Qaeda off your porch. I'm not doing it. That's you're lying to me, Bert. What do you got on your big board of musical treats?

[John Holmberg]

Wake up. So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And now with two Valley locations, the brand new one over there on power Road in McDowell. My buddy just picked up a an old school BMX bike and brought it over there. Had him get. Get it all dialed in. So it doesn't matter if you got a mountain bike, beach cruiser, old bmx, they got it. They'll handle it for you. Plus you can rent bikes there, buy brand new ones. They got it all. It's Action Ride Shop again, power Road and McDowell or the OG on Gilbert Southern. ActionRide Shop.com is where you're going to want to go.

[Bert]

By the way, our, our beloved Super Nintendo of school, Shelly Boggs just text and she goes, great, I'm on the airport. I'm on my way to the airport now. 10 o' clock flight.

[John Holmberg]

She don't have the star.

[Bert]

Yeah, she's buying into it. She's compliant. Going to Dallas. I think she said 10. That crazy. She's got star. She's still. Just in case though, she's gonna do some shopping. I should text back. Send a picture of all the things you buy at the airport. While you're trying to kill time, get.

[John Holmberg]

Those $55 old fashions.

[Bert]

That is a crazy price for an Old Fashioned. That better be good. Yeah, I had chips at. They have a. Chelsea's Kitchen. And that's before you go through security. They even have restaurants before you get in there. And I had some and the guy brought salsa and chips to the table and the guacamole. And in the guacamole I started to dip down into it and I looked and the bowl hadn't been washed from the last time. I know. They just globbed on guacamole over the old dried up salsa. And I hit the side of it like, what's this? It looked like a bloody nose underneath all the guac. So I poured on it like, what is this? Sorry about that, sir. Would you like more? Yeah. What I want is more from this place. What I want is more from you right now.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Trevor.

[Bert]

Yeah. Look, Braden, Kaden, Hayden, Skyler, Trevor, whatever your stupid millennium name is. Wash the stuff. I'm leaving. This was free? Yes, sir. And I know it's not. They. They don't even the names of the restaurants. It's just their stuff. They're not even.

[Gina]

They train them.

[Bert]

Yeah, and then you're off. And it's the whatever airmark people or whoever's.

[Gina]

Yeah, whoever has.

[Bert]

Actually, it's hms. It used to be. Because I wanted. I wanted one of their shirts anyway. What do you got there, Bert?

[John Holmberg]

On the list, Kid Rock for Pickens, Going to the Cowboys, Maiden, Soundgarden, A3. Woke up this morning for Sopranos, Pantera, Bad Religion, Metallica, Disturbed, Rage against the Machine, Primus and Parkway Drive released a new song this morning.

[Bert]

Ah, have you heard it?

[John Holmberg]

It's heavy.

[Bert]

You like it?

[John Holmberg]

It's heavy. If you like Parkway Drive, you'll like it.

[Bert]

Heavy.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it's a wake up song for sure.

[Bert]

This new Parkway Drive. Brace yourselves, everybody. This is what you hear when somebody says it'll be 55 for one drink.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This is sacred.

[Bert]

It's called Sacred. And the new album is not out just now. Yeah, just the song. Sacred is the new one from.

[John Holmberg]

I had like three different people asking for it.

[Bert]

And this is thick.

[John Holmberg]

It's heavy.

[Bert]

So get ready for it. We're not. We're not faking. You here. It's not going to be one of your this isn't a sing along dance along. This is a drive fast. Yep, get your foot off the gas. Cruise control, let's be responsible right now. Put it in cruise control. Wherever you're at, stay there. Here's Parkway drive sacred. It's 98K upd. Oh, there you go. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[I]

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[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. And Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?

[Wayne]

No, Larry. If you have an extended service contract, you can use it at any amco.

[Larry McFeely]

Well, it's nice to have other options.

[Wayne]

I'll say. Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles and faster service.

[Larry McFeely]

AMCO does more than just transmissions, right?

[Wayne]

Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first.

[Larry McFeely]

Just Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.

[Brett]

A whole lot more.

[Bert]

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