05-08-25 - Update On Kevin Who Fired His Wife An Emailer w/A Speed Buggy GF and OtherUpdates - New Karate Kid Movie Sends John On A Rant Asking Do We Really Need Another Entry To That Franchise

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 05-08-25 - Update On Kevin Who Fired His Wife An Emailer w/A Speed Buggy GF and Other Updates - New Karate Kid Movie Sends John On A Rant Asking Do We Really Need Another Entry To That Franchise
Release Date: May 8, 2025

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1. Opening Discussion: Kevin Fires His Wife via Email

John Holmberg kicks off the episode by addressing a listener's email about Kevin, who fired his wife through an emailer. This segment explores the complexities and repercussions of such a professional decision.

John Holmberg [01:11]: "She took the firing well. But evidently on the drive home, something got to her. Said when I called her in the middle of the day, she was off."

Holberg delves into the dynamics of firing a spouse, questioning the ethics and practicalities involved. He highlights Kevin's approach, which included a severance package, and scrutinizes the company policies that necessitated such measures.

John Holmberg [05:13]: "I think he's just. I don't think he owns anything. If he owned it, she wouldn't work there. She would own it too."

The conversation evolves into a critique of workplace favoritism and the challenges of maintaining professionalism when personal relationships intersect with business.

2. Listener Email: The "Speed Buggy" Girlfriend

The show transitions to another listener email concerning a man whose girlfriend exhibits unusual "speed buggy" behavior, characterized by disruptive sounds akin to a chainsaw during intimate moments.

Listener Email [06:00]: "I'm dating a girl who is a speed buggy, as you guys call it. I've only slept with her four times, but it's so crazy that sometimes we have to stop."

John Holmberg and co-hosts engage in a humorous yet critical discussion about the sustainability and impact of such behavior on relationships.

John Holmberg [07:22]: "If you've got metaglasses speed buggy stuff, you may send it to me for the videos."

The segment humorously debates the potential for such quirks to lead to relationship breakdowns, emphasizing the importance of compatibility and understanding in partnerships.

3. Listener Email: Concerns About Having Children

Another listener, Jim, shares his concerns about having children due to perceived genetic traits affecting appearance. This segment addresses the sensitive topic of genetic inheritance and personal responsibility.

Jim's Email [11:26]: "You said the other day, John, you didn't have kids because of how you looked and you didn't want to pass that look on to someone else."

John Holmberg responds by acknowledging the validity of Jim's concerns, framing the decision as responsible parental planning.

John Holmberg [12:14]: "If you're not willing to weigh all options and say one of these possibilities is gonna make it so I don't want to do it, then don't do it."

The discussion extends into a broader conversation about risk assessment in personal decisions, drawing parallels with other high-risk activities like skydiving.

4. Rant on the New Karate Kid Movie Franchise

A significant portion of the episode features John Holmberg's passionate critique of the new Karate Kid movie. He questions the necessity and quality of continuing the franchise, expressing frustration with the lack of originality and authenticity.

John Holmberg [12:14]: "There got to be another entry to that franchise."

Holberg argues that the new movie undermines the legacy of the original series by introducing implausible plotlines and characters that lack the depth and cultural significance of previous installments.

John Holmberg [16:08]: "Do we really need another entry to that franchise?"

He further discusses the portrayal of martial arts in Hollywood, criticizing the suspension of disbelief required to accept the movie's premise.

John Holmberg [20:17]: "The Karate Kid going to Japan. Now all of a sudden, we're breaking down Fonzie. It doesn't make sense."

The conversation extends into comparisons with other franchises, highlighting perceived declines in storytelling quality and character development.

John Holmberg [27:11]: "They didn't make quality anything after the first one. That was worth all this hype."

5. Interaction with Co-Hosts: Debating Movie Authenticity

John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo engage in a lively debate about the authenticity of martial arts representation in the new Karate Kid movie, touching upon cultural appropriation and the believability of Western characters mastering Eastern martial arts.

Brady Bogen [21:06]: "Is it from the Cobra Kai series? I think that's where."

John Holmberg [21:14]: "The kid to combine both styles and win the tournament."

Their banter underscores the show's informal and engaging dynamic, blending humor with critical analysis.

6. Additional Content: Comedy Shows and Advertisements

While primarily focused on listener interactions and media critiques, the episode also briefly mentions upcoming comedy shows in Arizona, providing local entertainment recommendations.

Unknown Speaker [29:00]: "Alright, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week..."

However, these segments are interspersed with advertisements, which the summary omits as per instructions.

7. Concluding Remarks: Final Rants and Reflections

As the episode draws to a close, John Holmberg reflects on the overarching theme of declining media quality, emphasizing the need for better storytelling and authenticity in film and television.

John Holmberg [43:02]: "We gotta stop the chick fighting thing."

He reiterates his stance against the new Karate Kid installment, urging listeners to reconsider their engagement with franchises that fail to uphold their original standards.

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Key Quotes

• John Holmberg [12:14]: "If you're not willing to weigh all options and say one of these possibilities is gonna make it so I don't want to do it, then don't do it."

• John Holmberg [16:08]: "Do we really need another entry to that franchise?"

• John Holmberg [20:17]: "The Karate Kid going to Japan. Now all of a sudden, we're breaking down Fonzie. It doesn't make sense."

• John Holmberg [27:11]: "They didn't make quality anything after the first one. That was worth all this hype."

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Conclusion

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness, John Holmberg and his co-hosts navigate through a tapestry of listener emails, personal anecdotes, and media critiques. From the complexities of firing a spouse to humorous relationship quirks and a fervent critique of the new Karate Kid movie, the show maintains its hallmark blend of humor, critical insight, and candid conversation. Listeners are treated to a multifaceted discussion that not only entertains but also provokes thought on societal norms and media evolution.

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For more engaging content and updates, tune into Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[Brady]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. Now, nearly six months later, I'm feeling like my old old self again. Go to gameday phoenix.com today and book a free consultation in a matter of minutes at Game Day's in House lab. A licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to incorporate any number of these therap to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging and it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's health locations in the Valley.

[Larry McFeely]

@Gamedayphoenix.Com it's Larry McFeely. And whether you're tearing up desert trails in a Tacoma, towing your toys with a tough tundra, or exploring the back roads in the all new 4Runner, your Toyota is built to go the distance. Now obviously our roads and weather can be brutal. That's why keeping your Toyota in top shape is key. Trust only genuine Toyota technicians with genuine Toyota parts. From oil changes to full checkups, your Valley Toyota dealer has got you covered. So before you hit the trail, hit the service bay, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com Summer starts here. Toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com I got this email. Dearest Holmberg, I don't have $10 million in my house or a ridiculous amount of money in the bank. And I'm sure when you're talking about Life Changer Loan, you're not talking about people like me. So before I even think about it, can you enlighten me? It's not a rich person's money scheme that excludes normal people. Actually, you're going to end up paying off your mortgage in about five years and save on average about 250,000 DOL dollars in interest. Find out how for yourself. Schedule a [e-mail] it's not magic, it's just math.

[Brett]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning everybody. Hello and welcome to Thursday. It is the Morning Sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett There's Toledo this, the morning sickness, and often running as the heat starts coming in, but this is it. Enjoy this one. God knows what's going on. Enjoy this one while we can smell the roses, as they say, when you can. Before we get into anything else, I have to update. I got the letter from Kevin fired his wife yesterday. It's. It's pretty funny if you don't remember. Yesterday, guy emailed in, said he had to fire his wife. What was yesterday morning at like 10 or something like that? She's. I kind of wondered that after the show too. It's like, why not just tell her? But he gets into that, says, morning boys. I fired the wife. And really the only thing I did differently in this case than anybody else I've ever let go was to kiss the person I had fired goodbye for company reasons and policy reasons. I had to do it this way with a witness, and that way she gets her four weeks pay, a little bonus for her vacation, which was planned and coming up. She took the firing well. But evidently on the drive home, something got to her. Said when I called her in the middle of the day, she was off. I didn't warn her beforehand, was her big reason, but knowing her, she would have just quit, not taking the severance. We just screwed ourselves out of money here. And I told her if her own husband, Caesar, as a bad worker to necessitate a firing, she's not going to make it at a job at all with an actual boss and dudes. She's a horrible worker, one of the worst I've ever had. Which is weird because around the house she's awesome. But all of the times I've heard her tell stories about her old jobs, which she's been fired from, usually it tends to go the direction of how much the boss sucked, how much the people around her weren't good. Uh, they were all stupid. And she was the only one who knew what was going on. And now those stories are really suspect. Uh, I think she's just always sucked at working anyway. No money shot, dream dismissal, but it was a good idea. Thanks, Kevin. So she got rid of her and then his wife stinks. And like most guys with a wife, you hear her come home from her job. They made a joke on it on south park that time when the. The perfect shake weight that said everything right to women. One of the questions it would always ask is for her to tell stories about all the women at work she hates. Please tell me again of the women at work you hate. And they complain and Complain and complain. And if you ever worked with her, you'd realize she's the problem. She's a horrible, horrible worker. So Kevin did it and wisely got himself a month severance package, which.

[Toledo]

That move.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's pretty good move. Yeah. I'm just shocked there's still a company out there that allows you to hire your wife for this very reason. Is that when you can't, if you're the boss, especially if you can, or instead of just saying you need to quit or something like that, the company has to pay the boss's wife a severance package. And they're probably like, did you guys set this up?

[Toledo]

Is it his company?

[Unknown]

Sounds like.

[John Holmberg]

He does sound like it. But to me, that one sounded like he's got company policies and other things he's got to adhere to. I think he's just. I don't think he owns anything. If he owned it. She. Trust me, you know this. Yeah, if he owned it, she wouldn't work there. She would own it too. She'd be a co owner.

[Brady]

The way it was stated yesterday, it sounded like he owned it, though the way it. The way he put it out there. Yesterday's a little bit different.

[John Holmberg]

Misstated that he may. Because I didn't. I didn't get the vibe he owned anything. He was just a higher up who got his wife on board because I don't. I don't know. Maybe.

[Brady]

Well, then he's an idiot.

[John Holmberg]

That would be a tough one. Yeah, but you just don't. You know, a dude starts a thing and his wife is always like, she's not just a worker you can fire. Because if he owned it, she was the wife and he tried to fire her. You can't fire me. I own this just as much as you do. Would have been the immediate response.

[Brady]

Unless he was smart. Not a prenup.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's that, too. He might have owned it before. Damn it, Brett, I need you to act these out. He turns into my old boss, Bill Osler. I don't know what you think you own there, sister, but last time I checked. And let's go through the papers real quick. Oh, sis. Here. You don't own a goddamn thing. Off you go. Here's your diapers in a cry towel. Are we done? Anyway, so that's pretty solid right there. And then you got. And then I got this one. Another one. I might save this now. I'll get it says, hey, Chancellor, I've noticed that you're doing a lot with your meta glasses. I also have Meta glasses. And I love them. Yeah, these, these ray ban, Google meta things that you can do. It's. They're awesome. Says I'm dating a girl who is a speed buggy, as you guys call it. I've only slept with her four times, but it's so crazy that sometimes we have to stop. And I think she just deflates right there in bed. I can't stop laughing at it. It's a constant. If I sent you a video of her doing it, would you play it on the air? I swear, she could be the new sound effects for the speed buggy chicks. It's like I'm trying to start a chainsaw every time. Alex, please don't send us a video of you and your girlfriend speed bugging. Send it to Toledo. D. Toledo. Us, we're. We're classy. But if you've got metaglasses speed buggy stuff.

[Brady]

You may send it to me for the videos.

[John Holmberg]

Or that.

[Toledo]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

You know, there's. That. That's a. That, that, that's a deal breaker. The chainsaw sounds too much of it here and there. An occasional like, oh, well, that. Cuz most of the time it's our fault that that happens. It's something we've twisted them into or gotten into some sort of pickle. But if she just speed buggies for the sake of speed bugging and she just keeps going with the. With that sound. I. Yeah, I'd have to. I'd have to. I'd laugh too hard. I. I wouldn't, I wouldn't look forward to it because it would be like, all right, I would try harder not to laugh than I would to do the other thing. You know, that's me. It's still. Still makes me laugh.

[Toledo]

If you want to keep those meta glasses on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, unless they' description, you just. Second thought, don't send, don't send us this. We've already got the sound effect for speed bug. It still makes me laugh. Anyway, if you send it, we'll definitely laugh at it. But I don't believe it would be fair to your girlfriend who you've only slept with four times and she. You found out she's just a constant speed buggy. I don't think that's very nice to do. Hilarious. But I think that could cause too much trouble when you two inevitably break up because she can't. Just let her know, you know what? Let's have Kevin, the first emailer who gets rid of spouses and stuff, come over to that guy's house. And just let her know that she's probably going to live alone for the rest of her life. There's nobody that's going to stick around for that.

[Brady]

Kevin's a pro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't think any woman that has that issue is going to be a long term relationship candidate for anyone else. I mean, you have to be pretty desperate to. Unless you're into it. There's always a guy who's into it.

[Toledo]

I say buggy.

[John Holmberg]

I think this speed buggy sound, but I mean, come on. If the first time you and you and Madea got it together and just sound like a chainsaw, that wouldn't start, like, all right, that was a little weird. Maybe she was give it another run. She wrote a roller coaster in a skirt earlier today and there's something and she just didn't tell me. And then, oh, maybe she's got a convertible. Second time through, third, fourth time. And it's. Every time it's like, all right, what do you do? You work next to the air pressure thing at the Chevron. What is going on? And then eventually you just have to. You can't. All right, that's enough.

[Brady]

Do a leap of the speed buggy.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it, Brett. Why do you always have to bring. Yeah, I'd be sending meta videos. Double damn it. Just like a hot air balloon reception. I guess that's true. But even still. Dua. Lipa.

[Brady]

All right, Hindenburg. Just let it all out. I'm good.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. All the humanity. Hot if you don't want to see.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

She's not one, though. That's the thing, Brett. I can look at her and tell it. Yeah. Leap is not.

[Toledo]

Oh, no, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

I know.

[Brady]

I'm a Brady on this.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. I know that news would be out on tmz, but she is awfully hot. She can't hold a man. Margot Robbie.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, I'm in. Bring on the Hindenburg.

[John Holmberg]

I'm constant.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. I just put earplugs in.

[Toledo]

It's an easy fix.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No problems. Oh, you're putting on protection? Sorta. Sort of. G' day, Brett. I'm here to hang out with you for the rest of the night.

[Toledo]

Just go fall out wearing no noise canceling hat.

[Brady]

Yeah, there you go. That's even better. Yeah, it blocks out that.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing hotter to a woman than a guy who plops on a set of beats.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing? What? I can't. I'm on the. I put my Dre's beats on. I like to listen to my Own stuff. Keeps my rhythm. Oh, yeah, I'd do that. All right. It's not because of my. You know, I hadn't even noticed. Yeah.

[Brady]

What are you talking about?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, I find that endearing and adorable. I just would have put on some. Some NC airplane headbud. You don't mind, do you? And then you go to bed the next time, and she's just in a blindfold. Oh, I see. I see.

[Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Dude can play at this game, huh? See no evil, hear no evil. That's it. And then I got another email from Jim that says, well, you said the other day, John, you didn't have kids because of how you looked and you didn't want to pass that look on to someone else. My wife actually warned us, or. Well, no, no doctor Actually warned my wife of this being a possibility, but she's convinced, and I think it's because she married me, that we would have an R word, kid. So she did not want kids. That's a true story. Well, that's not very nice to do. Like, I think I married you, and I think you carry the gene that causes that.

[Brady]

Why would you marry that?

[John Holmberg]

Well, cause he's not one. But she thinks that he's gonna pass it on, and that's a fear. Look, that's. To me, that's responsible. If you're not willing to weigh all options and say one of these possibilities is gonna make it so I don't want to do this, then don't do it. It's the reason I don't skydive. There's like 12 things in skydiving that look fun except for plummeting to the earth and having it not open. And to me, that risk reward's not there. An ugly, awful kid that looks like me or, you know, one that's got all sorts that's not worth the risk of going, let's give this a run. And I think that's responsible. And again, I'm going to get. I did the other day. Just a bunch of emails. You're such a jerk. Like, why is that being a jerk? I'm taking in all possibilities. I'm looking at a couple of them and saying, this is a deal breaker, and I'm not going to do it because of that. Jim's the same. Jim's wife is actually the same way he emails it. Man, you might. I think we might have. We might have a kid. So I'm not gonna do it. Smart. That's smart. I'm currently annoyed by something, and I want you I saw there's gonna be a new. Aren't we done with the Karate Kid? Weren't there? There's one good one. There's one good Karate Kid. And then Cobra Kai has a couple of good seasons. And then they go to the children and the kids start. And then it got real dumb fast. But the first season and a half a Karate Kid are great. The Cobra Kai, they're funny. Like, it's funny. It's almost making fun of the fact that they went back and, you know, got Johnny out of the mothballs. Yeah.

[Toledo]

You could maybe get three seasons. And I mean, two is straight, barely.

[John Holmberg]

But the third one started to focus in on the kids. And let's go back to the movies. You had Karate Kid, then Karate Kid 2, which everybody went back and going, can you recapture this magic? And quickly. The answer is no.

[Brady]

It was terrible.

[John Holmberg]

And then Karate Kid 3 happened.

[Brady]

The only good thing was 3 was Terry Silver, the bad guy. The bad guy was great, man.

[John Holmberg]

He was great.

[Brady]

The rest of the movie is terrible, horrible.

[John Holmberg]

And then the next Karate Kid, which was Hilary Swank, he went to Hawaii and found a girl.

[Larry McFeely]

Spring is in full swing now, and summer is right around the corner. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And there's no better time to hit the trails, the lakes, and those wide open desert roads in a brand new Toyota. Whether you're hauling gear to Roosevelt Lake and the powerful Toyota Tundra, navigate navigating rocky trails in the rugged Tacoma or exploring Sedona in The all new 4Runner, Toyota's got the muscle and comfort to match your most excellent adventures. Head to your valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com today and gear up for summer in a ride that's built for the heat and the adventures. Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[Unknown]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feltface performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand Up Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey.

[Brady]

Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Byron]

Yes, sir. MMP Guns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoy. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[Brady]

Wait, there's no back orders?

[Byron]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Brady]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP Guns.

[John Holmberg]

Dot Comberg's morning sickness. And then they just started in with the. You know, Jaden, the black Karate Kid. Yeah.

[Brady]

And then Jackie Chan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then. And now they got a new Karate Kid, and it's.

[Toledo]

Is it from the Cobra Kai series? I think that's where.

[John Holmberg]

Danielson. Ralph Macchio goes to Japan. As far as I can tell from the trailer, he goes to Japan and finds this prodigy Karate Kid and becomes his trainer. And they become like. You're telling me that I have to suspend disbelief that Ralph Macchio is the best karate trainer in all of Japan? Yeah.

[Brady]

The white guy has to go to Japan to be the best.

[John Holmberg]

The kid from.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that's gonna go over well.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, what happened to cultural appropriation and all that stuff? Isn't this. It shouldn't. I mean, they had to farm out karate trainers in Tokyo. I don't buy it. And they get an Italian from Van Nuys. I don't think that's a thing. He's not world famous as a karate. I mean, I know he won that.

[Brady]

It's all Valley.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, man. Look. And that he did. I'm not dismissing that. That's a big achievement. To get the All Valley Karate Championship 40 years ago. And then the Cobra Kai. The whole series ended because I watched the last episode, because all of it. He won another world championship of some sort, but it also seemed a little strangely small, like ESPN Ocho stuff. But he did win that, too, at the age of 60. But I don't think he. Miyagi's his way through. The reason Karate Kid was so good is because the authenticity of Miyagi being a Japanese warrior, you know, fought in the war, did all the stuff, had the girl and the. The melodramatic cast. Yeah. The backstory was he had been doing this. He had been training this discipline his entire life, be it physically or mentally. Danielson, if I recall correctly, selling cars in Cobra Kai. I don't own a Dealership.

[Toledo]

I don't think I got that from Miyagi, Marty.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think the will of Miyagi, when he sold Miyagi's pad or whatever he did to get it.

[Brady]

Look, California real estate.

[John Holmberg]

And yeah, he probably took out a second. And when. When Danielson got Miyagi's awesome house. He's never had a house payment in his life. And then he probably went to the bank and got equity loan and then started his car dealership. He wasn't focused on karate enough to be the best Japan has to offer. It bothers me that I'm watching the trailer and it pissed me off. If the trailer's gonna make me annoyed, the premise has to be. I never ever. Like, when a movie says, all right, you have to believe. Like, I'll believe space stuff. Or like, you know, when a girl plays baseball, you're like, come on. Or when women fight and they'll clock a dude who's huge and he goes out like. I'm like, come on. Charlize Theron was in that one movie where she fought off like 15 Russian or she was Russian or something. I don't remember 15 dudes fighting her.

[Toledo]

She took a beating, but she never. She dealt it, she pushed back.

[John Holmberg]

And it made me go, wow, this is like insulting to women who've been, you know, victims of domestic violence. Because evidently this movie's telling you bitches can take a shot. These guys were professionally trained in that.

[Toledo]

Yeah, all those fight scenes, she'd end up like Caleb from Shrine.

[John Holmberg]

It wouldn't take much. I mean, seriously, like giant Hulk Hogan sized dudes cracking their knuckles, looking at her, and she, she's shaking punches. She squares up like, no, I'm a man. And if a guy that size, I'm in my best defense in that. And I take self defense classes. My best defense in this is get the F out of there. She squares up and just goes hand to hand with him. I'm like, if you don't have a weapon, you need to go, this is D. That kind of stuff is always like, all right, you've asked me to suspend disbelief and I've done it. But don't insult me. Mission Impossible. Don't insult me by saying, we don't have Fast and Furious. We don't have a plot point. So we're just going to do whatever and ask you, the audience to jump in. You know what it is? It's when Lars said it was our fault for not liking Saint Anger. When a movie is that stupid, it relies on stupid audience Members to go, okay, it's just a movie. And they're like, yep, we don't have to try because you're too stupid to care.

[Brady]

It's like the WNBA saying they're as good as the NBA.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Don't lie to me. I'll. Suzy. Oh, you have to. There's not enough suspension. There's not enough rebar in the world to suspend that disbelief. Yeah, I mean, spider web tension isn't strong enough to suspend that kind of disbelief in there. But the Karate Kid going to Japan.

[Brady]

Well, suppose somebody. Vader just wrote. He said, the big thing is Daniel sun is the only person that still knows Miyagi style karate, and Jackie Chan's character knows kung fu. So the plotline is the kid to combine both styles and win the tournament.

[John Holmberg]

Jackie Chan training the boy is the lead trainer. Daniel Son, with one dude's adaptation of something is probably a bit questionable.

[Toledo]

Can't wait to see the. The villains, the villain family.

[John Holmberg]

That'll be the. That'll be the sell in the whole thing. But look, if Miyagi san. I can't believe this is happening. 52 years old. If Miyagi san had such a great discipline, wouldn't it have caught on? Or didn't we just go through Cobra Kai where he was teaching a bunch of people that very same thing?

[Toledo]

Well, if I recall.

[John Holmberg]

Or was he too busy with the.

[Toledo]

Car dealership fallout with his brother way back when?

[John Holmberg]

Miyagi.

[Toledo]

Yes, the first time. Didn't he want to like his brother had the better training or something?

[John Holmberg]

Look, bottom line, Brady, if Miyagi squared off, taught it to Daniel, and Daniel didn't teach it to anyone else, it's. It's like duplicates of something. The more you print a page, the less printer ink there is. So there's only two guys who know it, and it's already less than the Miyagi one that nobody cared to figure out. And then Cobra Kai. I guess they only taught Johnny's way. The difference to me. The only difference to me, with Miyagi's training and. And all other. Is that you get a lot more done around the house.

[Toledo]

Well, there's more disciples now, right? He opened up his.

[John Holmberg]

But is it his? Because he had Johnny as a trainer. So isn't Johnny also Miyagi?

[Toledo]

No. Danielson trained those kids some Miyagi's style.

[John Holmberg]

Johnny wasn't there training because every time I turned it on, Johnny was in charge of the.

[Toledo]

When they first started out, remember, they had rival dojos.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. And I loved one of Them Eagle, Eagle, Eagle, Fang. Which is still the. And that's when the show was funny to me.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because they made John, so they had.

[Toledo]

Their two different dojos.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, well, either way, I'm struggling with this. And it's on, like, during basketball playoffs. I've seen this commercial about seven times, and I'm just like, come on.

[Toledo]

Now I'm remembering because it's been a while, too, so. But. So they trained at Miyagi's pad. He still maintained.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. No, he got that in the will. You weren't wrong any. And again, you get a lot more done around the house. He had him training to do yard work. He had a whole group of slaves, essentially, under the. Now, again, I said this. When this show came out, if you had kids, you're like, hey, entered them into a karate school. That should be good. Except for the trainer. The. The sensei keeps taking him to his house, and they just do yard work all day. I think I'm gonna pull you out of that school. You got him painting fences, washing cars, trimming bushes, saying it's for discipline, but for free. Well, he's not, because otherwise, how's he keeping that school alive?

[Brady]

You think I would have known karate the way Kurt Vessel had me doing stuff around the house. I should have been all valley champion.

[John Holmberg]

I was excited when I saw Karate Kid because of all the yard work I did.

[Brady]

Yeah, that.

[John Holmberg]

I thought if I just hone some of these yard work skills, I'll be a killing machine because I'm out there seven, eight hours a day. My dad would ask me if I mowed the grass while I was mowing the grass. To mow the grass. What are you talking about? Up front, I'm one man, just one boy mowing your backyard right now. And you go out and look at it and goes, this is terrible. Mower. The mower blade would die. Like, it would get weak, and he'd notice chips in the grass.

[Brady]

Oh, that tiff grass.

[John Holmberg]

That tiff lawn. Mother. Oh, I got a beef. On his deathbed, I'm gonna whisper in my dad's ear, I love you, but you and that tiff mower, I hope they make you mo heaven for eternity. What did you say? I hope you get a cruddy tiff mower, and God's too cheap to sharpen the blade, and you have to mow heaven. I curse you with this. Why would you do that? Because you did it to me. Son of a bitch.

[Toledo]

I thought we were friends.

[John Holmberg]

So did I. Think again, you were wrong, old man. I'm gonna make my dad's death like a really bad movie. You were wrong, old man. A belly full of babies that are not your loin. Wait a minute. That's Braveheart. Never mind.

[Toledo]

It's reverse of the big fish.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I would whisper in his ear. His last thought's gonna be like, oh, no, he never loved me. I've been faking it for years. I've been waiting for this day. I still hate that lawn so much. Anyway, now, Kyle says, you obviously didn't watch the series. I was gonna let you keep going, but I'm got annoyed. It's the state of someone who didn't finish watching Cobra Kai. One of the main subplots was that Daniel was out growing Miyagi as a sensei trains a bunch of kids who had no real skill to begin with become the best in the world. All right, You, Kyle. No, he wasn't the best in the world. That's. You can't quantify that.

[Toledo]

You're the best.

[John Holmberg]

You can't. You can't quantify that. From his dojo and Van Nuys, the best in the world. He'd at least had, like, franchise. Nobody's gonna let the best in the world go. That's a money maker. He goes over to Japan again. Yeah, I'm already looking at the guy. Look, if you're telling me you can look at Ralph Mache and go, probably the best in the world at dot, dot, dot. Karate is like 8 millionth on the list. He could surprise me and be good at karate, but best in the world?

[Brady]

No, wrong, John. Jackie and Ralph was going to New York to train a kid. It doesn't matter where.

[John Holmberg]

Okay?

[Brady]

It doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

I saw a lot of Japanese people. So if we're gonna stay authentic to the. To the discipline, and we're gonna say that Ralph Macchio is not the guy I'm picking.

[Toledo]

It was originally Japan, but the tariffs.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I can't film over in Japan. Yeah, I got it. Well, all you have to do is go to, like, you know, San Francisco. It'll pretty much look the same garbage. And, yes, I didn't finish watching the series because it stunk. It got all kid head.

[Brady]

Those. Those kid fight scenes would last, like, 20 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't have any writing. Yeah, they ran out of ideas. And, like, just let them fight for 35 minutes, and then we'll move on from there.

[Brady]

That should have been, like. It almost seems like they had two seasons worth of storyline, and then Max. Yeah. And then they're like, no, no, no. It's making money. Keep going.

[John Holmberg]

You can only milk Johnny for being kind of a throwback to the 80s, sort of idiot, a bit of a bigot, and sort of tongue in cheek version of what you'd expect that guy to grow into. And then you're. And then you better start developing some storylines.

[Toledo]

Even when they kind of teamed up, that was kind of.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

You know, against the original sensei. Your boy, Martin Cove.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Martin Cole. Yeah, yeah, that dude. But he's still alive, too. This is. This is a dead honest thing. This is perfect. This is easier to suspend disbelief with than it would be, Danielson says. So if honing in yard work skills was the key to karate, wouldn't Mexico wipe the floor with Japan? Yes. Yeah. It's not like Miyagi was out there going, picketti, strawberry, put it in a bucket. Strawberry two bucket is karate. And then the next thing you know, all of Japan is like, what's up, King K? What's up? Pinch a Kim. These are Mexicans. I think they own all of our karate. Pick a strawberry, put it in bucket, you is what I'm saying, though. Hollywood has a lot of problems right now, and one of them is writers. Stupid dumb storylines that just go, hey, audience, you're dumb. You'll lap this up, you moron. And I can't do it anymore.

[Brady]

I don't know if that's Hollywood's problem. It's us.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's us. It's too many dumb people out there. This is. Shut the F up, Kyle. Finish your jello and go take your nap. Boomer. Cobra Kai blows. Now. We started this fight. It's true. I just didn't like it. I don't know. And we gotta stop that. We gotta stop the chick fighting thing.

[Larry McFeely]

It's Larry McFeely. And whether you're tearing up desert trails in a Tacoma, towing your toys with a tough tundra, or exploring the back roads in the all new 4Runner, your Toyota is built to go the distance. Obviously, our roads and weather can be brutal. That's why keeping your Toyota in top shape is key. Trust only genuine Toyota technicians with genuine Toyota parts. From oil changes to full checkups, your Valley Toyota dealer has got you covered. So before you hit the trail, hit the service bay, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadeealers.com Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[Brady]

Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Byron]

I sure do. It's MMP Guns. Customs MMP Guns is creating some Amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brady]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firear in inventory daily with no weight.

[Brady]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP GunsCustoms.com It's John Holberg here.

[John Holmberg]

Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins.com TV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online. Doughns.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins singers. Holmberg's morning sickness. We gotta stop kids being strong. I, I just don't, you know, like that was what made Home Alone so great. He was, he was outsmarting dimwits and we were in on the dimwit part. We're like, of course these two morons keep walking into this trap. Now Home Alone has a lot of holes in it, but it's just dopey enough to be like, this kid might win this battle. Ferris Bueller's another one where the kids outsmart the adults because the adults are all dimwits. And it gets a little annoying when you watch. Like, all right, you can't run into this many stupid people and fool them all all the time. You're not that cool. But we'll, we'll suspend. But the second he becomes like an amazing day too. An amazing day. It's a, it's a, a, it's a 48 hour, 12 hour day, but it's.

[Brady]

Around a Ferrari all day.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing about it seems too far fetched. Like they covered enough of the bases to where you go. But if he all of a sudden like, you know, brokered world peace in the middle of it, like what? I mean, if you look at Forrest Gump and Ferris Bueller, similar, like, you know, he gets through a day just by kind of stumbling into the next thing and then coming up with an idea for, you know, it's almost just like the luck of the. The guy. Everybody turns their head at the right time, you know, and so it's very much that same kind of pattern of coasting through life in the novel of Forrest Gump.

[Toledo]

He's supposed to be 6 foot 6, 240, huge dude. And the original guy wanted John Goodman.

[John Holmberg]

I would have watched the hell out of that. But he wouldn't have been very good at Alabama running back kicks. I had to made a lineman out of him. Zemeckis wanted Goodman first.

[Toledo]

I think the guy that wrote the book.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. He had Goodman in mind when he was. When he.

[Toledo]

Winston Groom.

[John Holmberg]

I. You know what? I'm today years old and I found out Forrest Gump was a book first.

[Brady]

I can't imagine John Goodman running from coast to coast either. So.

[John Holmberg]

No, there would have been a walking suit. There would have been a long walk, and it would have been like from here to the mailbox. I watched 600 Pound Lives. I think that's. And then you had to go to that doctor. No, that guy down there. Why do you think you ate so much? What doesn't you do much? I love that guy, but yeah, so I'm just saying, Karate Kid, if you guys, if you put money on that, you're just. You're dumb, you know? Oh, now Kyle's fighting back. Who's the boomer? Tell that Mormon to take his brother's D out of his mouth before he replaces it with my name. All right, listeners. All right, stop all this. We'll turn this radio station around. Can't have you guys fighting. For crying out loud, Kyle, he can defend his position. And you don't have to talk about his brother's D in his mouth again. You guys apologize to each other right now. What was the guy who emailed the first one that said thing about Kyle Terry? I don't know. Calm down, you two. Anyway, I just thought I'd point all that stuff out. It's just annoying to me that we're forced into this world of stupid. Everybody looks around the room like, did you see that? Is that a. Said that they go gonna train Japanese kids. Even a decent Japanese family isn't gonna go. We have found a good trainer. This guy over here, Ralph. No, your trainer can't be named Ralph.

[Toledo]

We're gonna see it again. They're gonna. You know the John Wick series with that movie spin off. Ballerina Anna de Armas, I think.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If she gets naked like she did in that Marilyn Monroe movie, I'd go see it.

[Brady]

John Wick, though. I Mean to me. You go in there knowing it's going to be unbelievable. John, you, suspense belief. Before you know, they let you know.

[John Holmberg]

Right off the bat, hey, this is ridiculous. This one's going on. This one is already off the rails. You just. You either get on the ride or you don't, because we're not even. We're not trying to fool you, and we're not trying to act like, you know, this has some credibility. It doesn't. Hey, Noseberg. Miyagi was looking for inner peace, but surprise, surprise, the Jew is only focused on making money. Israel Montenegro. Your name's offensive to, like, nine different groups. I know. He was looking for inner peace. He was bad at it it. Because he went off and he tried to monetize it himself. Anyway, I think it's a problem.

[Toledo]

In the original Karate Kid. Was he retired at the time?

[John Holmberg]

Miyagi?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I think he made all his money from selling Arnold's to Al. That's what I was wondering. Pretty sure the Happy days crossover was.

[Toledo]

He had a pretty sweet crib and.

[Brady]

He had a nice pad for being.

[John Holmberg]

A jam collection janitor at some apartment complex. And then he had. Yeah, maybe he got a terrible apartment complex in Resita.

[Brady]

I mean, it wasn't even like.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You know, over in Arcadia or something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't think he was getting paid top dollar unless he had multiple units. He may have had a. Like a service that cleaned up tons of he made, but he didn't own it. If he owned it, he didn't have any employees. He was solo because he was just mopping up that awful. And he didn't do a good job. Remember when they moved in, it was in the pool. Had a duck in it, looked like an oil.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. Things were all leaking and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Now you think about it, Miyagi was really bad at his job. That apartment complex was a dump. And wasn't he the super?

[Brady]

Yeah, I think so. The original millennial.

[John Holmberg]

Kind of the original scam artist.

[Brady]

Like you said, he had that Arnold's money.

[John Holmberg]

So he's good.

[Brady]

He's like Sam, just.

[John Holmberg]

Just keeping coasting on the Arnold. Because that was back in the 50s and 60s.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then, you know, he can coast on the.

[Toledo]

Arnold invested well, but initially he came in with some money even to buy Arnold's.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Arnold's was cheaper in the 50s, and he was a foreigner. Came over after the nukes, so it probably gave him a deal. Probably felt a little guilty because in like 1951, a Japanese guy saying, I just want to work. And then put him to work. Although in Mad Men, he didn't want to do a deal with the Honda people because, yeah, he only liked watching those people quote run away. That was a Rogers. Then I'm like, well, that's probably a generational thing. My guess is Mr. Cunningham and Happy Days wouldn't have wanted to go to Arnold's because he just spent the last 20 years of his life fighting those people.

[Toledo]

It is tight. Did Arnold that ownership.

[John Holmberg]

Right around then Arnold's did burn down.

[Brady]

Did it burn down when Miyagi owned it?

[John Holmberg]

Or was that Alvin? It was an alarm. Okay. Because that was when they had run. Run completely out of ideas.

[Brady]

Well, that was a. You know, that was a.

[John Holmberg]

And they had to come in and go, we need to burn something down and make this show look new again. And then they rebuilt Arnold.

[Brady]

That's some Al lightning going on there.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, yes. So your people do that too, huh? Maybe it was a mob lightning thing.

[Toledo]

The rumor, they're like, it's due. We need to put some money into this.

[John Holmberg]

I like the fan fiction of all this stuff where Al had to burn down his own story, rebuild it.

[Brady]

This was a dump.

[Toledo]

Grease fire.

[Brady]

Look, you've seen that bathroom and stuff at Fonzie Hill Cordon.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible, terrible. Fonzie's office was a joke. And again, break down Fonzie for a second. Dude couldn't keep a job. Lived in an attic for like low rent and then had an office in a restaurant bathroom. I mean, this is a guy you wouldn't trust with anything.

[Toledo]

It was a. The only restaurant that looked like a set. Yeah, I mean, you walked in like, oh, it's like a high school playset.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, had a desk in. I mean, it. It wasn't a normal looking anything.

[Toledo]

I'm talking about the whole restaurant. You walk in there, it's like you.

[John Holmberg]

Thought Arnold's looked like a set. I thought Arnold looked.

[Toledo]

I mean, it looked like someone High school play production.

[Brady]

Really.

[John Holmberg]

I thought Arnold's looked pretty good. Had the stage and the kitchen show.

[Toledo]

The outside looked fantastic. You go inside.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I thought the inside looked pretty good. The booths were solid. It's kind of like the way Seinfeld Steiner was. I mean, it was a set, but I mean, the bathroom itself with a desk in it was a little off the. Especially when. When they redid the. After the burn down and they actually built an office in the bathroom for Fonzie. So I'm saying because they were afraid of that. Tiny little man.

[Brady]

Anyway, you know, I mean, it was the original Witness Protection program.

[John Holmberg]

See, what starts when you talk about the new Karate Kid. Now all of a sudden, we're breaking down Fonzie. It doesn't make sense. God damn it, Pat Morita, you wizard. Anyway, if you guys go to see that movie, you're ruining it for all the rest of us. That's my point, because I'll just make another one. It's time we put the Karate Kid to rest. It goes right up there with another franchise of movies that we hold in high regard because one of them are good, and that's Indiana Jones. Enough of both of them. They didn't make quality anything after the first one. That was worth all this hype.

[Brady]

That's most movies.

[John Holmberg]

These two are in a league of their own with how bad they just rape the lead character because we love them. I mean, remember the Indiana Jones TV series? And Chronicles? Remember Chronicles of Indiana Jones? And. Oh, yeah, Young Indiana Jones was a TV series for a while. They've had all sorts of them. Travis says, I'm sorry, Kyle, you're not a boomer. Now finish your pudding and go play Dungeons and Dragons, you dweeb. Now, I'm not going to keep this up, Travis and Kyle, you, too. You know what? We're gonna take this to the dojo. We'll settle this like men. And as far as I can tell, the only difference between Miyagi style and everyone else's is that kick at the end, the illegal face kick. So Miyagi technically teaches you, all right? Fight fair until you start losing, and then cheat. And that's my Miyagi style.

[Brady]

So Bill Belichick in there, cheat?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Use the Belichick of martial arts when you're going against the Two Rooms. Rough Kik Johnny in the face. But, Ms. Miyagi, that's illegal. I don't care. Cheat.

[Brady]

Then destroy your phone when you're done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And wreck your cell phone. Don't ever show anyone it is a text. In effect. Throw this in a wreck. He's chucking a phone into the lake as Miyagi tells him his cheat skills. That's a great. That's a no. I like that. That would be a better move movie. Anyway, don't go see the new Karate Kid. And if they advertise with us, I apologize. But don't. You're making it. You're making Hollywood worse. It's your fault. Yeah. Go.

[Toledo]

Go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Go to Wecopaw and see Engelbert Humperdink. I Went downstairs. We ran an Engelbert Humperdink in concert ad on the station yesterday. And it was. It was greatly disappointing because every time I do anything wrong, I hear about it. Anytime I do anything, like, you know, oh, we got a letter about. I hear about it. I'm never ever. Ah, we got another one of these. You're a jerk. You did this. You're an asshole. We did. I hear about it. Whenever anybody downstairs does something wrong, it stays dead quiet. Nobody ever says they wrecked the station. Nobody ever says they screwed something up. So I do. And I went down yesterday. I'm like, who's in charge of the Engelbert Humperdink ads? Who did it? Huh? None of us, okay? Nobody. We just have ads. Just ghost running through our show. Huh? They all were ghost. I don't what I. Okay, who has this client? Because we're running Engelbert Humperdinck ads and it doesn't. It's not good for Engelbert and it's not good for us. Oh, that's me. Is it really happening? I'm like, yup, let's go have a meeting. Let's all sit down and yell at the person who did something bad. Oh, it's no big deal. Oh, it isn't. Okay, you guys feel free to do whatever you want.

[Toledo]

We have tickets.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, can I get some tickets? Cause we're giving them away.

[Brady]

This is on the Core institute concert [e-mail].

[John Holmberg]

In fact, that's what I should do. We should give away 150 front row tickets to Engelbert Humbert and can say, you guys, we made a mistake. I guess that shouldn't have gone on the air. Just like the commercials that you decided to say shouldn't have gone, but you did it anyway.

[Toledo]

Oh, the 152 rows. Everyone has to be in a corn or Metallica shirt.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is this? I thought this was one of those grind core bands. Humperdink. How's everybody doing?

[Brady]

The other people are there. Like, what is Cannibal Carp?

[John Holmberg]

These people are horrifying. I love you, Engelbert. Throwing those giant parachute panties up there. Looks like the, you know, the airborne teams coming in. Those panties float down to the ground. Let's get a Wake up song. 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up Arizona's most powerful power rock radio station.

[Unknown]

Alright, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week, get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it and you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand Up Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com from.

[Dick Toledo]

Monument Valley to Sedona, Horseshoe Bend, Grand Canyon, and more, you might think you've seen all Arizona has to offer. Well, I'd tell you if you haven't been fishing in Arizona, you haven't seen a thing. It's Dick Toledo from Homework's morning sickness. And my first time fishing in Arizona was up in Greer with my friend Jeremy. He was the pro that I'm definitely not. But grabbing a fishing license that weekend was the passport that opened up the whole state to be me. And you can get your [e-mail] and discover for yourself a whole new way to take in the Arizona sites.

[Brett]

Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu mo and don't just study tech. Live it.