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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Larry McFeely
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you. All this for the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years. Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, DeWalt and more. They also specialize in tool repair, including hydraulics like Burndy and commercial electric contractor tools, as well as having a state of the art on site glove testing facility. Visit Fisher Tools in store or online@fishertools.com and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order. Fisher Tools brands you know, service you trust.
Godfrey
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my.
Wayne
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Larry McFeely
A whole lot more.
Unknown
You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.
John Holmberg
What the hell is wrong with you, Godfrey? I want to hang out with you all day. We share a Dave Kingman history. Yeah, put your headphones on. Godfrey's at Stand Up Live tonight and tomorrow if you want to head on over there. 7 and 9:45 both nights. Standuplive.com and yeah, we were just talking about you. You're in a Muhammad Ali sweatshirt.
Godfrey
Ali.
John Holmberg
And you're hanging out at the Wild Card Gym.
Godfrey
Wild Card Gym. Freddie Roach.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Freddie and James.
Godfrey
Tony Prince, you know, Manny Pacquiao.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And Manny was there working a speed bag while you were. Yeah.
Godfrey
And they were hit. They would hit him in the. He would. He would spar with different dudes. Like, every round, a fresh dude, another guy, and. And then they would take the bamboo and hit him on the sides in his obliques.
John Holmberg
Manny.
Godfrey
They would. Yeah, they would.
John Holmberg
Like, while he's fighting.
Godfrey
Yeah. They'd be like. He's like, what is going. There'll be all these Filipinos and the old man going, yeah, my Pacquiao's fighting in two weeks. He's training to fight the. He's going to be fighting in two weeks. And they're like, oh, wow. It'd be packed with just people watching him train. Yeah. It was just hitting him with sticks, like bamboo, like. Like getting them heart pop, you know, because you're, you know, Southeast Asia. They, you know, they, they. The Muay Thai, they do everything. They, they. So I was watching that. Like, cool.
John Holmberg
Is that.
Godfrey
Yeah. And he's just a good, good. Most boxers are just good guys. They're just like, really humble people.
John Holmberg
Ever climb in there with any other fighters? Fight anybody?
Godfrey
No.
John Holmberg
Never?
Godfrey
No.
John Holmberg
Not once.
Godfrey
Not interested.
John Holmberg
Come on. You had to have a little interest to get in there and go, what's Manny's punch feeling? Nothing.
Unknown
After you've watched a couple.
Godfrey
I would love that. After I've watched the after effects.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. I mean, you're going to get.
Godfrey
I got a show to do, and I want to remember everything. I'm sorry. Sorry about that.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You end up the Freddy Roach voice.
Godfrey
Like, yeah, sorry about that. I want to.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You don't want people.
Unknown
Was I.
John Holmberg
Welcome to the stage, Godfrey. I forgot.
Godfrey
Good night.
John Holmberg
I am Godfrey. I forgot my entire act. You gotta do the Freddie Roach if you're gonna bring up Freddie Roach.
Godfrey
I'm fast. I'm pretty. I shook up the world. I told you.
Unknown
I'm fr.
Godfrey
Little phrase is too ugly to be the champ. I'm the greatest. I told you, man. I've told you. I'm so fast. I get in the bed before the room gets dark, turn off the lights and get the bed.
John Holmberg
That's cool. That's a cool thing. That's been a while.
Godfrey
I wrestle with an alligator, tussle with a whale. I'm so bad, I throw lightning in jail.
John Holmberg
Nobody will ever be like that.
Godfrey
No.
John Holmberg
Ever again. Can't even come close.
Godfrey
Not even just as a. As a. As a. Charismatic. Just. Even when he talked about race, it was just. He was so smooth with it.
John Holmberg
You know what, though? I think if he. If it was today, Muhammad Alibi, one of the hate most hated athletes of all time. He had trouble.
Godfrey
He already had trouble. They called him.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Imagine today, though. Yeah. Like if Kaepernick couldn't kneel.
Godfrey
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Ali was not gonna fight.
Godfrey
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
And they took it away from him back when you were allowed to say.
Godfrey
That's when you. He was real bold during that time.
John Holmberg
Same.
Godfrey
He would be like. They'd be like, Mr. Cassius Clay, don't call me down. Muhammad Al. That's my slave name. I don't use that name. Just. He would just talk to them like that because they're not going to beat him. Bold. No.
Unknown
Imagine if he. He promoted by saying, I'm going to eat your children.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
And that's funny because I would. I knew Tyson and back in the day, too. Tyson knew us. It's comics. He. I remember hanging out with Tyson. This was. I have a good story, Mike. Uh, oh, L.A.W Hotel is a certain W hotel where all, like, a lot of black celebrities hang out. So I'm there, I'm shooting at 7up commercials, right? And so I'm in the lobby hanging out, and it's Heavy D. And who else was there? Snipes there. It was just a bunch of. It was just something going on. And Tyson's coming lobby, walking with this girl. And the girl goes, yo, Godfrey, what's up? And I see her holding hands with Tyson. I act like I didn't know her. I was like. I was like, do not call my name.
John Holmberg
Don't say that. Tyson.
Godfrey
I was like. She goes, godfrey. And Tyson, like, yo, up, man. How you know her? Know you guys know each other? How you know her? I was like, nah, I. I don't know. What.
John Holmberg
I don't remember.
Godfrey
He was really looking like this. Yo, you know, I'm just saying. I'm just asking a question. Yo, you guys know each other? Like, n. N. I don't know what. And then he went to the bathroom. I said, yo, why the hell would you call my name? And holding Mike Tyson's hand. What's wrong with you? You out your damn mind? And she was like, why did you act like I didn't know you're holding hands with Mike Tyson? I don't know. I could have been. You could have been a past situation. You see how he was curious? He like, yo, how you. What's going on? How you know he's smelling? I know he's like this.
John Holmberg
How you know he did that?
Godfrey
Tell me something.
John Holmberg
Eyebrows down.
Godfrey
You're like my. I was like, yo, son. I was like, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
But you knew her.
Godfrey
I, I knew her just some from just passing. But I was like, I was just like, what?
John Holmberg
You did not know her intimately?
Godfrey
I was like, I don't know.
John Holmberg
I'm like, you're still lying about that? Is still lying. What, in case Tyson's here.
Godfrey
What, what's your name? Huh? Yeah, no, like we had.
John Holmberg
I tell the story we had when I used to. Years later, I boxed at a gym here.
Godfrey
So you boxed a lot though?
John Holmberg
A long time, yeah. Now I do like street fight stuff, which is more fun. But I was boxed. Yeah. I was boxing at this, this gym. And it was like an authentic. No air conditioning. We're doing this in summer in Phoenix.
Godfrey
Fight club type and.
John Holmberg
Yeah, kind of. And so we're in the middle of one of our training things. This pigeon flies in the room, right? And it's got a tag on it.
Godfrey
Oh, Tyson.
John Holmberg
It's one of his. And we found that later. So I was gonna meet Mike about two weeks later at his one man show in Vegas.
Godfrey
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
Which was the second one which should not have happened. It was all it was was Mitch blood green stories and nobody even knows who that is. So it's just bad. So at the end, Mike was not home.
Godfrey
Yeah.
John Holmberg
But the meet and greet shows up and there's this dude who's about 11ft tall that says, put your camera down. Don't ask Mike nothing, don't say nothing. Just get your picture and go on. I'm like, that's not happening. Because I got a picture of one of his pigeons.
Godfrey
Yeah.
John Holmberg
So I went up and I'm like, hey, Mike, this pigeon flew into a boxing gym of all places in Phoenix. And Mike's just staring holes through me. Had no idea death look. And then he did. All these guys are looking at that. Mike was going to kill me. And I'm like, so what do you think, champ?
Godfrey
And he just said, champ.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I know. Well, because that's what you do at that point I'm like, I know this.
Godfrey
What do you think? Championship?
John Holmberg
I'm Ricky Schroeder all of a sudden.
Godfrey
Come on, Jim. Do you guys know Jim Norton?
Unknown
Oh, yeah, yeah, Jim, Jim.
Godfrey
I just did that because Jim, I've known for so long Jim would do that to us. He'd go, oh God. What do you think, champ? You, you obsequious idiots.
John Holmberg
Look.
Godfrey
I can't believe it. Here's your pigeon champ.
John Holmberg
That's exactly what I did.
Godfrey
You know what I would have loved if he would have socked you right in your jaw.
John Holmberg
The reason I called him chimp is had nowhere to go. I'm like, I got no words.
Godfrey
That's what's. So you had this pigeon like this. He hits Champ. Oh, you make my butt itch. What was that?
John Holmberg
The picture of us together is the most hostage looking thing you've ever seen. I am like, I am like full on human traffic.
Unknown
You need help.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yo, I kill this in two seconds. He's going down and I got my arm around him like, what do you think, Champ? Thanks for the photo, Champ.
Godfrey
Well, gee Golly, where's Mr. Drysdale? Can I have an autograph on my baseball? Remember that Brady Bunch? Yes, it's Don Dre. He goes, well, gee golly, where's Mickey, man?
John Holmberg
I full on went, yeah, 50s. I. I was probably black and white to him as like it just went full on. Golly.
Godfrey
Gee, Champ, you sure one of those dumb hats that covers your head. Gee golly. You know, I'm playing center field and I baseball team. Do me a favor and wall up.
John Holmberg
Your next to pony Champ.
Unknown
I got cancer winning for me.
Godfrey
How'd you like wallop you one?
John Holmberg
I, I ought to give you one right now.
Godfrey
Boy, how you like a nice Sunday punch, huh? This guy.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's exactly how I felt, cuz I felt like, oh, no. What do you think? And you want him to like.
Unknown
I forgot. What, what did he say? He didn't, he didn't answer that.
John Holmberg
He just, he just stared at me. And then I'm like, oh. And then, and then the, the tall dude goes, put your phone down.
Godfrey
Yeah, put it down.
John Holmberg
Sorry about that, buddy. I'm gonna buy you some snacks. And I put my arm around him. But you know what the weird thing is about is that as I'm going towards him, even with the rules, I'm like, I'm breaking those rules. And I thought maybe there was some odd chance we'd be friends.
Godfrey
Nothing.
John Holmberg
And it turned, it evolved into, you.
Godfrey
Got a big nothing and you deserved it.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I turned into Opie Cunningham, like immediately.
Godfrey
And I sat back and I enjoyed it.
John Holmberg
And everybody else just shook their heads. I get off there. And I thought he was gonna kill you. And I'm like, it's a picture.
Unknown
I'm from Phoenix too.
Godfrey
Yeah, you lived in Phoenix. I remember sitting with Seinfeld. Seinfeld was giving me advice. He was just talking with me before he did his like his documentary comedian. Yeah, that's why I'm in it. And he was talking to me. And Jim Norton is sitting in the back, like, sitting far away, going like this. And then after I leave, I go, yo, Seinfeld gave me. He's giving me advice. I bet he was. You were just sitting there like, eager beaver. Tell me more, Mr. Seinfeld.
John Holmberg
I'm a sponge.
Godfrey
You're the worst. Just sitting there eager.
John Holmberg
Have you ever student. Have you met us? Have you met a celebrity? You're like, this is cool that we're meeting and we're probably gonna hit it off, and you just didn't, like, immediately like. It's so disappointing. I always say that I want to start a podcast called all your heroes are assholes, because when you meet them, it's their fault.
Godfrey
Have a segment. Yeah.
John Holmberg
I could do it. I don't have I ever like somebody.
Godfrey
You're like, no. Wasn't a hero, but he was a celebrity. And I was just like, ugh. It was okay. I was with Dr. Phil. I was doing a. Doing a project with his son jay. And then Dr. Phil's big, big, big dude, man. I'm in his office and by the way, the greatest carpeting I've ever felt in my life.
John Holmberg
I don't know what that means.
Godfrey
It was just like pl. It was just this office was. He had. This carpet was so luxurious.
Unknown
100 ounce cut pile.
Godfrey
It's like. It's like, you know, like Denzel and American. You block that. You understand me? You brought that.
John Holmberg
Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.
Byron
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John Holmberg
Well, can you do this to my gun?
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John Holmberg
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Godfrey
It was so nice. And he goes. He go. He comes in and, you know, he's big ring and he's about 6, 5. He goes like this. He goes, you know Joel Osteen? I said, oh, you mean Joel Osteen, the preacher? He's like, yeah, he's right around the corner. You want to meet him? I said, yeah, you know, I'm thinking. Joel said, I've been watching, you know, Joel Stains the past.
Unknown
Yeah.
Godfrey
And I've watched him for years.
John Holmberg
He blinks too much.
Godfrey
It's gonna be right. It's gonna be. This is gonna be great. And he gives me a book, and I go in there and. He's a piece of work, Ulstein. He was a piece.
John Holmberg
That surprised you?
Godfrey
No, I thought. But he's.
Unknown
You think.
Godfrey
Everybody'S human sometimes you can be in a mood. But. But I was really. He. I came with. I was really nice. Like, I was. Yeah, I. I just wanted to. I was just being a. You know, I just wanted a picture for the Instagram, you know, because I know people that go to church every Sunday can't meet Joel Osteen. I don't go to church.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
And I'm meeting Joel. He wants to rub it in. You know what I mean? Look at this atheist taking a picture. No, just kidding.
John Holmberg
No, that's.
Godfrey
I mean, my name is God Free, you know. Watch out now. Watch out now. Back up on now. Did you hear that one? I'm God free.
Unknown
Top that.
Godfrey
Top that now. Look out now. Eat. Taste of eel. I'm gonna hear all day. What a crowd. What a crowd. What a crowd.
John Holmberg
Joel was just not. What?
Godfrey
Oh, he was so mean. Like, it was, like, weird. It was cold. He was cold. I go, then now. I just dog him on stage now.
John Holmberg
Good.
Godfrey
You know, when I woke up today, God told me, this is like how.
John Holmberg
When he talks, he blinks. Like, blinks a lot. He's like, God, because he's lying.
Godfrey
Faith.
Unknown
We went to go $100,000 in the bathroom wall.
Godfrey
650, 000 when that plumber found it. And he gave him 20.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Gave him 20 to say.
Godfrey
Give him a 20 spot.
John Holmberg
Looking for that. Thank you. Yeah, the tithings. I am also God free. Not my name, just a lifestyle. And he. He is not. So I made A bet with him. We had to go see Joel Osteen live. And I said. I said. But I went and I said, I'll do it, but I have a vibrating butt plug in the entire time you. And I did, just to make the chair next to him vibrate to see if I could, you know, money shot before the end of the film.
Unknown
You can feel the leg vibrate.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I would lean on him every once in a while.
Godfrey
How was this, Joel?
John Holmberg
Was good.
Godfrey
I mean, I believe in a higher power. I do. Yeah, you believe in.
Unknown
Yeah.
Godfrey
But what was it not.
Unknown
It's tough on the megachurch thing.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Unknown
But I mean, it just.
John Holmberg
It was horrible is what it was. Yeah. Because they had. They had Home Depot buckets at the end of the aisle for you to put money. People buckets and those five gallon buckets, and they're like, get money in these. And, you know, the tickets were already 250 bucks.
Godfrey
Wait, wait, wait a minute. What?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Larry McFeely
And it was.
John Holmberg
The arena was sold out, and it was sold out. Yeah. And so I said, I'm not doing this without being, like, an affront to everything.
Godfrey
He says, $250 to go see what.
John Holmberg
You can see for free on Sundays. Yeah.
Godfrey
250 on Sunday.
John Holmberg
And it was packed.
Unknown
You bring up, you know, the family.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
250 tickets.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
And ain't no singing happening.
John Holmberg
Oh, they were singing.
Godfrey
Oh, yeah.
Unknown
The sun came out at the beginning.
Godfrey
No, I need a dance routine.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I need Beyonce Booty Shake.50 to get.
Unknown
You in the door. To throw more cash in the. In the Home Depot buckets.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, you weren't done yet. It was like a thousand bucks. And then they were encouraging you. They gave, like, venues out. If you want to be on this level. It's 500 in the bucket, partner.
Unknown
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Or silver, platinum, all this other stuff. So. Yeah.
Godfrey
What.
John Holmberg
But the best part was I'm sitting there all the whole time. This is rough.
Godfrey
With a butt plug.
John Holmberg
Yeah. For two hours. And I could reach down and hit a button and change the.
Godfrey
In your. In your butt.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Just because. You know why? I just wanted that. I want to be the only person in the world who could say that. I'm pretty sure I am, you guys.
Godfrey
You went to Houston?
John Holmberg
No, it was here. He took it to the sun.
Unknown
It was a road show.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
It was sold out.
John Holmberg
Sold out. How many does it hold for that? Well, 19, but he had the stage end, so probably 13 or 14.
Godfrey
Yeah, 13. 14,250 a pop.
John Holmberg
It's crazy, right? And you were you shaking hands with him, trying to get him on Instagram.
Godfrey
And. And I got a picture.
John Holmberg
Yeah. That's good.
Godfrey
And Jesus didn't showed up.
John Holmberg
No. Never came. You'd think.
Godfrey
And that's what you're waiting on. You're always. We want Jesus looking around behind him, like, when is Jesus coming? I just want to know when Jesus. I paid so much money.
John Holmberg
You put a thousand dollars in and you know only half the. That's why I want to open.
Godfrey
That's why I want to open up a church. I want to open up.
Unknown
At least you looked at it. Maybe he was having a bad day.
Godfrey
Man, man, please. How are you having a bad day at 250 a pot? You should never have a bad day. And a man of God and you have a bad day. Are you serious?
John Holmberg
You can't have a bad day when you lose $600,000 in a wall and you don't miss it.
Godfrey
And you. And you don't miss it.
John Holmberg
Oh, there it is.
Unknown
That's what the plumber reported, too.
John Holmberg
Yeah. He could have taken more out. Joel wouldn't have known. Plumber got extra.
Godfrey
Wow.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
Those. That helps themselves.
John Holmberg
Joel Osteen. I didn't expect that answer to that.
Godfrey
Question, but that is why I want to open a church. I don't forget the comedy thing.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You're wasting your time.
Godfrey
Think about thinking about comedy. Right? People come in, they want a specific reaction. You know what I'm saying? You could be a preacher. You don't have to be funny. Say one little corny joke, they laugh because they're not used to it. Oh, my God. Pastor's so funny. He probably took it from a comedy club, stole it, and made it clean, you know? You know what I'm saying? They stole it. And so boom. So that. And then you go, you know, if comedians late, people complain, yo, yeah, where's the comic? Jesus hasn't shown up in so long, but all the money you never asked for back. Because, you know, when comedy comes, they go, I want my refund. Yeah, but Jesus, no one ever says Jesus comes.
John Holmberg
True. He never shows up.
Godfrey
Billions of dollars later, no one's like, can I get my money back?
John Holmberg
And he's on the marquee.
Godfrey
He's on the marquee.
John Holmberg
He's on the marquee.
Godfrey
Jesus comes. The day he comes, still not coming. If a comedian repeats a joke, they go, he always says the same joke every time. Psalm 23.
John Holmberg
We should start a church.
Godfrey
The Lord is my shepherd. How do you know that there's a lot of psalms. See, I said to pee on purpose because in your mind you've been brainwashed. There's nothing wrong with saying to pee.
John Holmberg
One of our black listeners has emailed and said, tell me more about this exclusive W for just black.
Godfrey
Blacks.
John Holmberg
The hotel. You said that was just.
Godfrey
No, no, it was. It was a lot of. A lot of black celebrities.
John Holmberg
I missed that.
Godfrey
Not just black. I'm like. He's like, I'm here to go. Where is just black.
John Holmberg
W for black.
Godfrey
W for no whites.
John Holmberg
No whites allowed.
Godfrey
No whites anywhere. Anyhow.
John Holmberg
No wake up call.
Godfrey
But yeah, I was like, I'd like.
Unknown
To get a wake.
Godfrey
What?
John Holmberg
What time? At 7:00. That ain't happening, player. Yeah, I know.
Godfrey
Whitewash. The whitewash day. We have a whitewash party.
John Holmberg
P. Diddy could show up, but he can't do his thing. Not having a white party there.
Godfrey
People are running for the hills.
John Holmberg
I missed that. But he heard it. He said, there's a W somewhere. He said, that's just for blacks. I'm like, I don't know.
Godfrey
I said there was black celebrity. See how people miss. I misheard.
Unknown
Who is this guy?
John Holmberg
Sorry about that.
Godfrey
I said there were a lot of black celebrities go to this particular W because I met Alicia Keys there. I used to R. Kelly there. I see them there. And I used to see. I met Kevin Space. I remember I was sitting.
John Holmberg
Kevin Spacey was at this one.
Godfrey
I was like, at that W. I was at the bar with Oliver Stone and Kevin Spacey talking to them. Wow. They were just talking about. Just regular surreal. That was. Yeah. With that W. It's like everybody used to come to me.
John Holmberg
It's the celebrity W. It was the.
Godfrey
One that was not too far from UCLA on Hill Guard Street.
John Holmberg
Wow.
Godfrey
I think it's still there. I haven't been there in years, but.
John Holmberg
No kidding.
Godfrey
Yeah, it was Oliver. I remember Oliver Stone. This lady's like, oh, can I have an autograph? Whatever. He goes, a little later. A little later. He goes, you know what happened in the days where they gave you some.
John Holmberg
Yeah, autograph.
Godfrey
Give me some. God, I laughed. It was so great. Oliver.
John Holmberg
He put her on.
Godfrey
My favorite director.
Unknown
Yeah.
Godfrey
He's just like, yeah.
John Holmberg
He put her on pause and just like this.
Godfrey
Not right now. A little later.
John Holmberg
Did she leave?
Godfrey
What happened to the days where they gave you. She waited and they give you some kitty cat.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
He didn't say it that way, but.
John Holmberg
No, we get you.
Godfrey
He goes, give me an autograph. Give me some.
John Holmberg
Have you ever Had. Have you ever had a moment with one of these celebrities? Not so much Joel Osteen, but like I had with Mike Tyson, where you found yourself saying the stupidest thing in the world to him. You're like. And walk away. Want to redo? Oh, I got 20 of those, I think.
Godfrey
Let's see. No, no.
Unknown
I think pretty good.
Godfrey
I met Denzel four times.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
Yeah. He used to party like. Like you see him at parties and stuff. Regular stuff. I seen him in a Nike thing. He was always cool. I never said.
John Holmberg
You never had anything where you said something.
Godfrey
No, I did say I did a Training Day thing, and it wasn't bad.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
Because we were. I was. I had seen Training Day like, two, three times.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
Then I see Denzel and I go, are you a sheep or are you a wolf?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
You know, it was like my N word. And that was cool. It was smooth. And I was like, that's corny of me kind of, because I don't like when people do that about my jokes. Hey, man, remember the thing you did? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
Somebody doing your ass? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Godfrey
Come on, man. Do it. Did well, man. My brother, man. My wife, man. We watch everything you do, man. Do the thing you do. Where you go, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, yeah, right.
John Holmberg
Godfrey's at standup live Tonight and tomorrow, standuplive.com.
Unknown
Joel Oin for that. He was such a jerk.
John Holmberg
You're. You were. You're Chicago. Are you a Cubs fan?
Godfrey
You grew up by the big time, but I always liked all the teams.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
I like the socks, cuz I loved Isaac.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
And I was a shortstop, so. Guillen. Ivan de Jesus.
John Holmberg
So you and I were the exact same Cubs era with trio deJesus. Buckner.
Godfrey
Yeah. The black bat. Buckner.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. The only lefty on the squad.
Godfrey
That's right.
Larry McFeely
No reason.
Godfrey
The black.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
Yo.
John Holmberg
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John Holmberg
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Larry McFeely
Sounds simple.
John Holmberg
That's why I always go to mmpguns.com.
Unknown
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John Holmberg
Holmberg's morning sickness.
Godfrey
And so yeah, I was. And I did a show. Actually. I. It was two years ago. I didn't know there were regional Emmys there.
John Holmberg
Do you know the news people always.
Godfrey
Have like 30 of us and documentaries? I didn't know. So I hosted the Midwest Emmys two years ago and Ozzy Guillen was one of the present. One of the. He was winning some award and I got to hang out with Ozzy Guillain.
John Holmberg
That's cool.
Godfrey
I was like, dude, do you understand?
John Holmberg
That's pretty awesome.
Godfrey
Your glove game. Yeah, yeah. And he goes like. He's like, hey, you know, it's one of still that guy. You. You brought us a world Series, dude. You won a world Series and you were like so avant garde. You were so different. The way you talk to the press. He goes, hey, if they don't like it, I don't care. You know what it is? No, he was garbage. I didn't like that. It's what it is, baby. It what it is.
John Holmberg
I get to meet that Mark Brady. Used to be a mascot for the Diamondbacks their first couple years, right? Yeah, he did. He wasn't in a suit either. They just dressed him up, said, you'll do. So he takes me down into the Diamondbacks World series year. Mark Grace is on the team right when they.
Godfrey
Oh, wow.
John Holmberg
Yeah. So Gracie's there. We go into the locker room. Yeah, Because Brady's got mascot all access. We go in there, and I'm a huge sweating. Yeah.
Godfrey
You want to meet him?
Unknown
That's a standard day.
John Holmberg
So we go into the locker room, and I'm there. And as a Cubs fan my whole life, there's Mark Grace. He's playing. He got no clothes on.
Godfrey
Yeah.
Unknown
Come on.
John Holmberg
And so he walks by me, and he goes, how you doing, boys? And I. Instead of, like, being cool at all, naked, Mark Grace walks by. How you doing, boys? And I'm like, no problem. And I shouted it at the top of my life.
Godfrey
No reason real.
Unknown
He locked up.
John Holmberg
Awkward moment, champ.
Godfrey
Let you add that there.
John Holmberg
Nice dick, champ.
Godfrey
Wow. What a. That's a Louisville Snugger if I've ever seen one.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. It was a strange one. I have those moments, like, you walk.
Unknown
Away like, I need to do this again.
Godfrey
I. I remember meeting Dave Winfield in the locker room.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
At my gym.
Unknown
That's a bat.
John Holmberg
That's a dude.
Godfrey
It's like any. You're like, it's Dave Winfield. And he's, you know, has that walk. He's in his towel. I was like. Mr. WiFi's like, what's happening? I was like, no problem. I didn't do you.
John Holmberg
No problem.
Godfrey
Hey, Wendy. What's that?
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, one of chicken fingers. I have, like, the stupidest moments.
Godfrey
I've met. I've met. Okay. I got some real nice ones.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Godfrey
I remember walking Joe DiMaggio. Halfway home. Sure.
John Holmberg
What do you mean, halfway on?
Godfrey
I mean, I was bailed out. I was going to a dental appointment.
Unknown
Yeah.
Godfrey
In the Upper east side of New York. And I'm at the street, and I see his profile.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
Mr. Coffee.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
Because that's when we knew him.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
And I'm like, yankee clippers. That looks just like him. That's Joe Demaji. Know this is before he passed away.
John Holmberg
Well, I hope so.
Godfrey
Yeah.
I was like this. I said, he's not that tall.
Unknown
No.
Godfrey
So I was like. I go. I go. Mr. De goes, yeah. Hell, yeah. He said, what the. I said, yo, how you doing, man? He said, oh, I'm just going home, brother. Can I walk with you? Yeah, sure. Walking with Joe DiMaggio. And I call my manager up, who's a supreme Yankee fan. I go, david, I'm walking with Jonah Madre. He goes, you're lying. You're lying. You're lying. I go, no, he's right there. I walked him halfway home.
John Holmberg
And why? Why?
Unknown
Good night, Jeff.
John Holmberg
See you later.
Godfrey
I said, this. Gee, you're the Yankee Clipper. Can you give me a story? What was Marilyn Monroe like?
John Holmberg
Can I smell your fingers?
Godfrey
Yeah. No, I just said, see you later. Yeah, you bailed it.
John Holmberg
You played it cool.
Godfrey
I played it cool.
John Holmberg
I'd still be standing outside his house.
Godfrey
And I got Reggie Jackson, who's my supreme hero, because I always wanted an afro to leak out of my helmet. And for a guy to hit a baseball with sunglasses on, yeah, that was pretty cool.
John Holmberg
And it never jiggled his glasses. Hello.
Godfrey
That, that 1977 three time that three time home, the three homers.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
And that's Keith. That's Keith Jackson and, and Howard Cosell that were in the game, calling the game. And I'm like, I, I saw him in the airport and I have a, I have a, I have custom made 44 away game jersey. Oh. And so I see him, this is LaGuardia Airport. And I'm like, I didn't even think anything about. I said, Mr. Jackson, you don't mind if I, I was real. I said, if I. He goes, yeah, but just meet me at right after gate. I said, cool. They go, reggie never gives anybody anything.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
I said, I didn't, I didn't know he was, I didn't know know their instructions. I just was like, hey, Reg, you don't mind if I, I did it real smooth, you know. He goes, yeah, just a sign. I got a Reggie Jackson.
Unknown
And then you said, Reggie Vision.
Godfrey
I was like this, Reggie, remember the candy bar?
John Holmberg
Oh, the candy. I'd have broke out the candy bar.
Godfrey
I, I, of course, look at the nougat.
John Holmberg
And I would have, I would have never said that. I would have never riffed that word.
Godfrey
No problem. How do you have all the, that nougat?
John Holmberg
And he would be like, why does he keep saying that? We're getting close to trouble.
Godfrey
Big league Chew. You're in the big league too. You were going to kill the queen slide. You're in the big leagues when you take it for a ride.
John Holmberg
I would have done something. Done like you met Leslie Nielsen and O.J. simpson. Tell me about that. Because he was in the Naked Gun. I'd have missed his whole career. I'd have been dumb. I'd have gone the wrong way.
Godfrey
Reggie. Reggie. Yeah. Reggie J. I met Reggie Jack.
John Holmberg
That's cool. I like that.
Godfrey
Yeah.
Unknown
Reggie, I've been, I met DiMaggio at a random grand opening a restaurant up here and had no idea.
Godfrey
Yeah.
Unknown
Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
He came to our little league game.
Godfrey
Once I met Hank Aaron. What yeah. Okay. Stories man. Hank Aaron at this. Okay. The comedy club owner. This guy Manny, a comedy seller in New York City. When. When Manny used to have this thing. He was part of core, the Martin Luther King, like, foundation thing. So he would invite. It was. I remember it was me, Patrice o' Neil, and a bunch of us comics. We would go. Norton. All of us would go to this, like, dinner, you know, And. And it was different. Special guests. And it was Laura Bush, Hank Aaron. It was just randoms. Yeah. And Hank Aaron. I was like, oh, my God, how you doing?
John Holmberg
I was like, that would end me. There's a few of them.
Godfrey
Hank Aaron. I did Hank Aaron. I met Goose Gossage.
John Holmberg
Yes.
Godfrey
Walking down the street with his son.
John Holmberg
You're just walking. Just walking. Yankees home.
Godfrey
He's walking past Comedy club in the Village. I go. We go, Goose. Like Goose rich gossip. I go, because, like, baseball cards.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
Goose Nettles.
John Holmberg
Yeah. The whole team.
Godfrey
Didry.
John Holmberg
It was the first guy, Randolph Rand. Willie Randolph you're talking about, right?
Godfrey
All the chambers.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
And I go, that's what I'm talking. Goose. And I see Goose mustache with his son. Same height, six.
John Holmberg
Goose has another one that looks like him, a gosling just laying.
Godfrey
Boom, boom. It's a gander. Gander bang. I was like, Goose Gossage. Alex Rodriguez, my friend, was good friends with Alex. He's Dominican. I've talked to Alex. Just chatted with Alex. Like, chilling with Alex. Yeah. That's. I've done crazy. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, no. No doubt.
John Holmberg
I'm just gonna hang around you for just the stuff that surrounds you.
Godfrey
Oh, yeah. Hockey. Messier Met Messier not too long ago.
John Holmberg
No kidding.
Godfrey
What? He was at the comedy club and he looks like. I'm thinking he has that Picard look.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Godfrey
He looks like an actor. Actor, yeah. Six, three, six. Just good look.
John Holmberg
Angular.
Godfrey
I was like, wait a minute. I said, why do I know? And I'm like this. I'm looking. Professor Xavier.
John Holmberg
No, no.
Godfrey
And I go, that's Messier. Go up to. I go. And all my friends, like, yo, Messi. We're like, oh, man. He goes, hey, are you good? He was awesome.
John Holmberg
He was cool.
Godfrey
Got a photo with Messier.
John Holmberg
No kidding.
Godfrey
Oh, I'm chilling with Messier. Bong.
Unknown
We're best friends.
Godfrey
I got another one. I got another story for your ass. I got another one for you. Ernie Banks. Three times. Let me tell you how you know Ernie Banks. How he signs his name with the biggie.
Unknown
Yeah.
Godfrey
Coming from a Little League baseball game. He used to Hang out at this. I grew up on the north side of Chicago, so he used to. He used to hang at this restaurant with this Asian lady. And we. I walked and I saw him with my. I had my glove. I said, ernie Banks. He goes, how you doing? Nice. Sign my statement on my. On the. On the. On the thumb part. Yeah. Met him. Yes.
John Holmberg
I golfed with him and Billy Williams.
Godfrey
Oh, Billy Williams.
John Holmberg
But they wouldn't talk to us the whole day.
Godfrey
That's awesome.
John Holmberg
As you said something stupid, Mr. Cobb.
Godfrey
What was it like?
John Holmberg
How long did you have to pose for the statue?
Godfrey
They didn't say nothing because they knew about you. And it's like, get that guy.
John Holmberg
Don't talk to them. Don't talk. He's gonna. We're gonna end up in a well, cringe.
Godfrey
King is coming.
John Holmberg
We're getting traffic. Stay away from it.
Godfrey
Gee, golly.
John Holmberg
I got some photos of me that I drew of you.
Godfrey
Still a very nice dong.
John Holmberg
This is me dressed as you for Halloween once. It's inappropriate now, but it was a great idea at the time.
Godfrey
Oh, man.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Ernie just starts doing it. Why do you keep this photo? Just in case I met you.
Godfrey
It was the wrong complexion. Listen, I almost got it. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Godfrey's at Stand Up Live tonight and tomorrow, standuplive.com. leave it us with words of wisdom, sir.
Godfrey
This is a great show. I'm very proud to be here. It's so great. This is one of the best. You know, I love my truck, my tr. My words of wisdom. Hey, man, I don't know. Stay healthy, man. It sounds corny, it's true, but I'm telling you, man, health is wealth.
John Holmberg
Why are you looking at Brady? No, you didn't look at me once.
Godfrey
No, I didn't.
John Holmberg
You know, I was watching you. I was like, hey, what's going on?
Godfrey
Hey, you know, time.
John Holmberg
You don't have a lot of it.
Godfrey
Very important.
Unknown
It's precious.
Godfrey
It's all about diet, bro.
John Holmberg
It's all about stop and smell the roses.
Godfrey
It's all about.
John Holmberg
Not the ribs, but no.
Godfrey
Yeah. I don't know. Boy. The way Glenn Miller plays Godfrey.
John Holmberg
Stand up live. Go see him.
Godfrey
Go see me, please. It's going to be the best show in the world. It's going to be the best.
John Holmberg
Thank you, man. God, for everybody. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio. Radio station.
Godfrey
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my.
Wayne
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Godfrey
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Godfrey
And help keep our electrical operators and machinery read.
John Holmberg
Running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity employer.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (05-09-25)
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Godfrey, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: May 9, 2025
In the May 9, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 morning radio show, host John Holmberg engages in a lively and humorous conversation with his guest, Godfrey. The episode delves into personal anecdotes, celebrity encounters, and playful banter, all delivered with Holmberg's signature entertaining and provocative style.
Training at Wild Card Gym with Manny Pacquiao
The discussion begins with Godfrey sharing his experiences at the Wild Card Gym, where he observed world-renowned boxer Manny Pacquiao training. Godfrey describes the intensive training regimen and the cultural nuances of Southeast Asian Muay Thai practices.
Godfrey [02:33]: "They would hit him with sticks, like bamboo, getting his heart pop, you know, because you're, you know, Southeast Asia. They, you know, they, they."
Meeting Mike Tyson
Godfrey recounts a humorous and tense encounter with Mike Tyson at a Las Vegas show. The story highlights Godfrey's attempt to connect, which leads to an awkward interaction.
John Holmberg [07:09]: "I have a good story, Mike... I was just shooting at 7up commercials, right?"
Godfrey [08:06]: "He just stared holes through me. Had no idea death look. And then he did. All these guys are looking at that. Mike was going to kill me."
Encounter with Joel Osteen
The conversation shifts to Godfrey's experience attending a Joel Osteen live show. Godfrey humorously critiques the high ticket prices and the lackluster performance, contrasting it with his personal antics during the event.
John Holmberg [15:04]: "Don't have a bad day when you lose $600,000 in a wall and you don't miss it."
Godfrey [16:29]: "I have a vibrating butt plug in the entire time... just to make the chair next to him vibrate."
Interactions with Other Celebrities
Godfrey shares a series of amusing stories involving various celebrities, showcasing his knack for memorable (and often awkward) encounters.
Dave Winfield: Walking with the baseball legend and attempting to engage in conversation.
Godfrey [28:15]: "I was walking with Joe DiMaggio. ... and I call my manager up... 'I'm walking with Joe DiMaggio.'"
Reggie Jackson: Recalling his interaction with the famed baseball player.
Godfrey [30:06]: "He goes, yeah, just sign. I got a Reggie Jackson."
Hank Aaron and Goose Gossage: Brief mentions of meetings that turned humorous due to misunderstandings.
Godfrey [31:24]: "Hank Aaron. I did Hank Aaron... I got Reggie Jackson, who's my supreme hero..."
Chicago Cubs Nostalgia
John Holmberg and Godfrey bond over their shared love for the Chicago Cubs, reminiscing about legendary players and memorable seasons.
Godfrey [23:09]: "I always liked all the teams... Buckner. Ivan de Jesus."
The duo engages in lighthearted teasing and jokes, particularly focusing on Godfrey's comedic experiences and mishaps during celebrity encounters.
John Holmberg [27:03]: "Nice dick, champ."
Godfrey [34:39]: "Stay healthy, man. It sounds corny, it's true, but I'm telling you, man, health is wealth."
Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse promotions for various sponsors, including MMP Guns.com, Amco, Stand Up Live, and Fisher Tools. These segments are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, maintaining the show’s dynamic flow.
In the closing moments, Godfrey offers a heartfelt piece of advice emphasizing the importance of health.
Godfrey [34:39]: "Stay healthy, man. It sounds corny, it's true, but I'm telling you, man, health is wealth."
John Holmberg wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to attend upcoming shows at Stand Up Live and stay tuned to 98 KUPD for more entertaining content.
Notable Quotes:
Final Thoughts
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and engaging dialogue, making it a must-listen for fans seeking both entertainment and relatable anecdotes. John Holmberg and Godfrey's chemistry shines through, providing listeners with laughter and a glimpse into their unique perspectives on fame, sports, and life’s unexpected moments.