05-09-25 - Rather Be Pope's Brother Or Famous Criminal's Brother - We Take Issue w/DBacks Celebrating Other Teams' Players On Heritage Nights - Brady's Russian Drinking Story From His Celebration of Life Event

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: May 9, 2025
Title: Rather Be Pope's Brother Or Famous Criminal's Brother - We Take Issue w/DBacks Celebrating Other Teams' Players On Heritage Nights - Brady's Russian Drinking Story From His Celebration of Life Event

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1. Opening Remarks and Introductions

The episode kicks off with host John Holmberg reintroducing the show's primary topics for the day, setting the stage for a lively and engaging discussion with his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo.

2. The Hypothetical Dilemma: Pope's Brother vs. Criminal's Brother

John Holmberg poses a thought-provoking question to the group:

John Holmberg [02:00]: "What would you rather be—the brother of the Pope or the brother of a famous criminal like the BTK killer?"

The conversation delves into the societal perceptions and personal implications of being associated with either a revered religious figure or a notorious criminal. The hosts humorously debate the perks and pitfalls of each scenario, emphasizing the challenges of living in the shadow of such prominent figures.

Brady Bogen [03:36]: "I'd rather be the BTK Killer's brother because I'm still the best one in the family."

3. Critique of Arizona Diamondbacks' Heritage Nights

The discussion shifts to sports, specifically addressing the Arizona Diamondbacks' approach to Heritage Nights. John expresses frustration over the team's attempts to honor Japanese heritage by celebrating players from opposing teams, rather than their own roster.

John Holmberg [10:00]: "They’re celebrating Shohei Ohtani, who’s a Dodger, during Japanese Appreciation Night. It’s like celebrating the opposing team, which is counterproductive."

The hosts critique the superficial execution of these events, highlighting instances where the Diamondbacks failed to authentically honor the intended heritage, often defaulting to generic and ineffective gestures.

John Holmberg [19:14]: "They should have had every time the camera hit the crowd, it should have been themed appropriately, not just randomly featuring Japanese individuals."

4. Dogs and Their Quirks

Interspersed within the main topics, the hosts enjoy a lighter segment discussing border collies and their intelligence. They share anecdotes about the overexcitement these dogs can exhibit, especially in high-energy environments like dog parks.

John Holmberg [09:03]: "Border collies are super smart. They'll start doing math if you let them."

5. Brady's Russian Drinking Story from a Celebration of Life Event

Brady shares an entertaining and exaggerated tale from a recent celebration of life event, where attendees engaged in a vodka shot contest with former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev.

Brady Bogen [24:32]: "We got into a vodka shot contest, and Gorbachev tapped out at seven shots, but another guy kept going to twenty."

John humorously questions the authenticity of the story, suggesting it's embellished for comedic effect.

John Holmberg [25:38]: "Why was Gorbachev involved in a drinking contest? It sounds like a scene from 'Raiders of the Lost Ark.'"

The hosts laugh over the improbability of the events, agreeing that such stories add a legendary flair to personal anecdotes shared during significant life moments.

6. Listener Interaction and Community Stories

The episode also includes brief interactions with listeners, sharing heartwarming stories about pets from the Lost Our Home Pet Rescue and promoting community engagement through various sponsored segments.

John Holmberg [28:50]: "This week's Pick of the Litter is Jep, a special project looking for a forever home."

7. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events

As the episode wraps up, John encourages listeners to engage with the show’s sponsors and tease upcoming topics, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor, controversy, and community focus.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [02:00]: "What would you rather be—the brother of the Pope or the brother of a famous criminal like the BTK killer?"

• Brady Bogen [03:36]: "I'd rather be the BTK Killer's brother because I'm still the best one in the family."

• John Holmberg [19:14]: "They should have had every time the camera hit the crowd, it should have been themed appropriately, not just randomly featuring Japanese individuals."

• Brady Bogen [24:32]: "We got into a vodka shot contest, and Gorbachev tapped out at seven shots, but another guy kept going to twenty."

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humorous hypotheticals, sharp critiques of local sports teams, engaging community stories, and entertaining personal anecdotes, all while maintaining the show's characteristic edge and wit. Whether you're a regular listener or tuning in for the first time, this episode provides insightful and amusing content that captures the essence of Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show.

Transcript

[Byron]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo for FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook right now. With FanDuel you can make the smarter play with performance trends. You can get the latest stats right inside the app and see who's heating up. Get started today by visiting FanDuel.com KUPD and you'll get started with $200 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first $5 bet. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first require bonus issued as non withdrawal bonus bets that expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step to 533-42.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and we're talking to you about reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black self defense training. You know all about it by now. Get in great shape. Learn stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Prepare for a life you just can't prepare for until you start doing the work. And right now the price is unbeatable. Two months of personal training right there. Hands on React Defense self defense system. It is 199 bucks for too much. You're not getting that anywhere else and all you have to do is go to reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black.

[Byron]

Hey Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

Yes sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

Wait, there's no backorders?

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.com you thought that was funny?

[Brady]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? There you go. Thank you. Miles to nowhere Katie and the Hobbs kick us Off. Everybody loves that. That theme song. And we might have to keep that one. Might have to come up with something else for the play DOH bands because. Oh, they just went again. Right. Next year's new theme.

[Byron]

Have we had back to backs?

[John Holmberg]

No, we have had. I think Bear Ghost won two in a row.

[Byron]

Was it two in a row or we just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but the second time was when we had Bear. That was a Bear Ghost second win was the first time we said write us theme song. Prior to that, it was just like we just forget about them after that. We gave them some extra. So they get a little. They get a little pub afterwards. All good. Yeah. That's a good one, though. We like that says that John, you're talking about being the Pope's brother and how much that would suck. Imagine if your brother was Nathan Sutherland. That's a good point because I always make that Paul Manchaka Jr. Reference. And that's the danger of naming your kid and putting a junior on the end of it. If he does something stupid, we know it's you. Senior. Paul Manchaka senior has to live with that. And mainly because this radio show won't let people forget who Paul Manchaka Jr. Is. The dude who pretended to be a retarded person and hired nurses to wipe his ass at home for $19. That I haven't looked since. But those in home will take care of you. Call us up. Nursing programs. Those things have absolutely had to have raised their prices since the Paul Manchaka situation. And you got to have paperwork saying you're really retarded. Like, real paperwork. It have to. So, yeah, being like, what would you rather be the Pope's brother or like, BTK killer's brother?

[Byron]

Pope Hope.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'd rather be the BTK Killer's brother because I'm still A, I'm still the best one in the family. B, on the ID Channel, I get all the, like, people asking me, like, I had no idea. We didn't know what's going on. Like, you get to go on the show and talk about. Because, I mean, Dahmer's families on there. It would suck to be the parents, but to be the brother. It's like, my favorite murder shows are when they talk to the members of the family of the murderer and they'll talk to, like, the brother. And, like, dude, he was a little weird sometimes, but we didn't. You know, who thinks he's going to go slaughter, like, 12 hookers? Nobody. You might think your brother's kind of a Dick. The last thing you think, like, there was that one who lost his basketball scholarship to college because his brother was hacking up girls in the neighborhood and nobody knew. And, you know, he was killing animals and doing stuff. And the family's like, he's lost his mind. And then they found a duffel bag of, like, a rape kit. It had his change of clothes and, like, some chloroform stuff. And it was in the front yard, Thanksgiving, and his brother found it and brought it in. He goes, hey, your bag's outside. He goes, don't you judge my stuff. And they went, raped again. And the brother's like, yeah, I lost it all. They already put a Portillas up in Vatican. Oh, man, it would suck to go to a Cub socks game now and he's sitting in front of you. Take your hat off, asshole. Hey, Brick, what are you doing? I can't see the game. I'm the Holy Pontiff. I don't care if you're the goddamn. Oh, my God, he's the Pope.

[Byron]

And then trying to park the Pope mobile down there like it won't fit in the parking garage.

[John Holmberg]

Look, they can't. We can't put it on the road. You got to go down Addison about two miles. I'd lock that up down there, too.

[Byron]

I'd rather be the Pope's brother. I mean, it's like you get tickets to whatever you want, you know? Like, you're not getting a. Leo sent me. I need. I need tickets to tonight's game. What are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

I can get you and go with a Pope. I think you're right. I don't think you're right. I don't think you get any perks being btk. Now get Shingo with the Pope. Are you the Pope, Brother? I can get you anywhere you want to go. I know people. Everybody turns into Sebastian. I got people. I know the Pope. Anyway, said John, next baseball game, I want you to bring in a raw tomahawk steak and just disturb everybody by eating. And I would. I would have no issue eating. I eat raw meat. I am. And it is not because I'm a badass or anything. I just prefer it. I don't like. I don't even care if it's warm. Straight out of the fridge right into my belly. Oh, talking about it gets me excited. I cannot handle ground beef in my hands. I'll just eat it. I can't, like, make a patty.

[Brady]

The tartar.

[John Holmberg]

It's not even flash fried tartar. At least spends a second on some sort Of a. Nope. Right out of that thing. Shake off the water. Blood. And if I start making patties, hamburger patties, they're going right in. I wasn't allowed to do it at Tony Roma's when I was doing prep stuff when I was just a kid. And they were like, you go in the kitchen, prep this, that, and the other. Couldn't do it. Like, make hamburger patties and have them ready. Like, stop it. And, like, just handfuls of raw meat. I love. And I mean, it's my favorite food. No question about it. My favorite food. We spent God knows how much money up in Vegas at the Aria for that hot rock steak. Yeah, you get the raw. They bring out the cuts of wagyu steak. It's like $150 an ounce. Oh, I'm not even putting it on the hot rock. And everybody's like, you're ruining it. I'm like, no, you're ruining it by making a hockey puck. That's dumb. Right in the gullet. Nothing better said. I just heard Brady talk about his funeral. I want to talk about mine. Last night we put another pup over the rainbow. I get these all the time, Said John. Thank you for letting us know about happy endings. Pet euthanasia. It's the best thing ever. Here's a picture of Flower Florita. Perita bonita, Conchita. That's what they called their puppy. 17 years. To us, this is a dog chapter. To them, it's their whole book. It's very true. That's an excellent way to put it. It's a chapter of our lives. To them, it's their whole book. And, man, 17 years. Once again, when I go home, everybody gets a cookie in honor of Flower Florita. And that's good. 17 years. That's a whole race. So tip your caps to that one and then you get another chance there, because I met a dog yesterday that was just absolutely awesome. I haven't been around a border collie in a long time. One over lost our home pet rescue yesterday to do the. The pick of the litter.

[Byron]

That's Lassie, right?

[John Holmberg]

Border. No, she was a sheltie.

[Byron]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Border collies are like. They're the. They're.

[Brady]

The last thing was a collie. Straight up collie.

[John Holmberg]

Was he Collie thought it was a Shetland. Or not a Shetland, but the other one, Shelton Small. They are little.

[Brady]

He was a full size.

[John Holmberg]

That was a collie. You're right. She was bigger. That's right. Either way, the border collies are super smart. Like, stupid. Super Smart. They're the Frisbee dogs a lot of the times.

[Byron]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

And then they're super. Like the agility dog, which catches our dog. Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Border collie. And they.

[John Holmberg]

If it's straight up full border collie, you've got yourself. He's gonna start doing math.

[Brady]

He's not. There's a little something else in him.

[John Holmberg]

But that messes him up.

[Brady]

Majority.

[John Holmberg]

That R. Words him a little bit. If you go straight full border collie, they'll end up writing you letters. Like, they're so smart.

[Byron]

Asian.

[John Holmberg]

Huh? Like having an Asian kid around that. It's like adopting spaghetti. The border collie that's available at Lost Her Home would be like, when gays show up with that Asian girl, they're gonna end up with a genius in the house.

[Byron]

Modern Family.

[John Holmberg]

It's Modern family. It's exactly it.

[Brady]

You can talk to them, and they understand what you're saying to them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. And they'll talk back. No, you don't say. And then the next thing you know, my dog's the Pope. Like, it's. You're gonna lose. But this dog I yesterday is full of energy mentally and physically. Doesn't want to be around other dogs. Just it. It just outsmarts him and gets. And it's got enough energy that I would say don't put it around small kids. You got some teenage kids or something like that. Spaghetti needs to go home because spaghetti is too. Needs mental stimulation, and that's not going to happen in a shelter at all. So those types of dogs get to. Man, they get. They go downhill fast. They go downhill fast in a shelter.

[Brady]

So please make me do something.

[John Holmberg]

And they want to do stuff, play, learn tricks. Yeah. You can be one of those. You can have one of those dogs that'll make it. So it's like your neighbors are like, what? How the hell did you train them do that? They're easy to train. Closest thing I've ever even had to that was an Aussie shepherd. And that once you say, hey, let's go, do they look at you like, thank God. We're gonna go do work? They're basically the Jamaicans of the dogs. They cannot stop working. They want to work. They love working. We're gonna get to one of Brady's stories about the funeral in a second. Brett and I are both sitting there like, you can't just tell us this off there. This has to go out to the people. But I do have to complain about something that happened in the ballpark last time I did this There was big trouble, but I'm gonna do it anyway. There we go. It was Japanese cultural appropriation. Appreciation. I'm sorry. I called it appropriation. I. So here's what the Diamondbacks did last night, and they're just filling space. You show up, you go to the game, and they're like, welcome to Japanese Appreciation Night. There isn't. Like, occasionally they handed out a couple people had Japanese flags. If they found anyone Asian in the crowd, they were on the big screen. Now you don't know Korean, Asian, Chinese, Japanese. Look at this. We all did it. Some of them were holding up. I don't even know how they found out. There's, like, eight agents in the whole thing. So just sitting right behind us were two people from the PR department at the Diamondbacks. And I turned them like sushi on special. What? I mean, where's the thing? She goes, ugh. Just filling the night. The whole night. Like, welcome to Japanese Appreciation Night. And they're on the dugout with two Mexican people, like, doing. I'm like, well, at least get the four Japanese people that are here to play the games on the dugout.

[Brady]

They were only Dodger fans. They didn't want to put them Dodger fans.

[John Holmberg]

There's low Japanese Dodger fans, but more Mexican Dodger fans, but. And then the guys on the big. What's your name? Manuel. Manuel what? All right, I forgot. Manuel san. Like, no. Christ. I want to just. It was Japanese appropriation night, and they didn't do anything special for the Japanese. And also Diamondbacks. The only reason you did that was because of Shohei Ohtani. He's a Dodger. Why are you celebrating the other team's players? Of course. It's Japanese Appreciation Night.

[Brady]

Just a coinky day.

[John Holmberg]

They all showed up to watch him. Yes, we get it. We all think Shohei's amazing. Hit a home run last night. Dude, he hit a home run the other night. 118 miles an hour off the bats. The fastest any home runs left to bat. I think he hit one last night. Might have been harder. Right into the pool, and it bounced off the back wall of the pool with force. It wasn't like, that's a rock. It was a rocket. Dude is a masher. But you don't do. That's like doing, you know, the new Pope Night when the Cubs are in town, or they used to do that. It pissed me off. And I, you know, as a Cubs fan. Formerly, when I'd go to the ballpark, I'd be like, this is why the Diamondbacks will never get traction locally. They're doing old style out front. They had the Portillo's sandwiches and I'm like, you guys are celebrating the visiting team.

[Brady]

Enjoy your Dodger dogs, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, your Japanese Dodger dogs. Last night, in honor of Japanese Appreciation Night, we're appreciation appreciating Shohei.

[Byron]

There's only so many times you can celebrate the 2001 World Series.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, that's very true. And their pitcher last night, I forgot his name. Shimoko or something. Another Japanese player. It's like you were celebrating the Dodgers last night. Meanwhile, your Diamondbacks mashed him without using one Japanese guy. I get it. We like you, Japan. We don't need to appreciate them with Mexicans playing, you know, Plinko on the dugout with Mike Bauer. Hey, everybody. Domo. I got to. I'm Mike standing there. Don't do that.

[Larry McFeely]

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[Dick Toledo]

It's dick tolittle for FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook right now. With FanDuel, you can make the smarter play with performance trends. You can get the latest stats right inside the app and see who's heating up. Get started today by visiting FanDuel.com KUPD and you'll get started with $200 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first $5 bet. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the N21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only. $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets that expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step to 533-42.

[Byron]

Hey Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

Yes, sir. MMP Guns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

Wait, there's no back?

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP Guns dot com.

[John Holmberg]

Homeburg's morning sickness.

[Byron]

I'm surprised they didn't have the guy that played Long Duck Dong. Now you may know him as Long Duck Dong. He's going to be singing the national anthem tonight.

[John Holmberg]

We don't talk about the anthem. I didn't. I wasn't there for the anthem. Yeah, we didn't. We got there after the first pitch, so I skipped the anthem this time just in case. But yeah, the. Yeah, hilarious. Some Japanese guy went on to say, what the hell's going on here?

[Byron]

There's Long Duck Dong. I'm telling you.

[John Holmberg]

Long Duck Dong. Hey, Donger, look at him in his. Was he red sweater, red shoe? Was he retarded?

[Byron]

No, more Yankee my way.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they didn't do anything special. And I tell Kevin Ray, I was like, what are they doing? He goes, eh, they're just filling up. Just, you know what? Have baseball night. You don't need to have Celebrate culture night and then find anybody Asian in the crowd and go put them on the camera. Close enough. I'm pretty sure one of them was Chinese. And the guy just looked at the camera like, you wanted me a kiss cam? A Japanese. No. Yeah. Camera rolls through a couple of Asian people. Probably brother and sister was like, we don't care.

[Byron]

Did they do the muscle camera too and all that kind of stuff?

[John Holmberg]

I thought if they're gonna do it, what they should have done is every time the camera hit the crowd, it should have filtered in Japanime. It should have been in one of those cowboy bebop things. You should have looked like one of the. Or just pixelated. That would have been great. Too. Pixelate parts of the body for Japanese appreciation. Stupid doesn't mean you hate the Japanese if you don't do it. It was just kind and you know, if you really wanted to do it, you could have. You could have gone gangbusters and done the Japanese national anthem and I don't know if they did. I don't think so. But stop it with that stuff. I remember I was at the Suns Game. And they did Chinese Cultural Appreciation Night. And I brought my friend Jim Wilson, who's Korean. And we didn't know it was Chinese Appreciation Night. So instead of, like, they had these. You know those balloons that they have in China that.

[Byron]

Oh, those paper things?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They floated a couple of those over and they were dropping prizes. And the prizes were like, dinner for two at the Hong Kong Golden Coin, something. I don't know. I'm like, this is insulting. And they ran to Wilson. They ran to Wilson and started handing him stuff. And I'm like, he's like, he's Korean.

[Byron]

Close enough.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna love this. Panda Express and all these Chinese things. It was ridiculous. But Japanese night at the ballpark when Shohei's in town. And the guy said, this is true, too. Eli says, john, did you notice when they put the Japanese drum and flute group on the big screen? Everyone was mayo. White people. I brought that up to the PR girl behind me. I'm like, what's this? And she goes, I know. And I'm like, every one of the drummers doing Japanese traditional drumming looks like he went to Dobson High School. They're right down the street, Whitey.

[Byron]

But we talk about that all the time. When you go to the teppanyaki restaurants and Chris Valenzuela is sitting there, you know. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know what to say. You're just saying something. No. You like sushi, man? Me, too. Is that your son, Skyler? Yeah, that's Sky. Skyler wants a California roll. Okay. Holy boys. California.

[Dick Toledo]

It's like a burrito.

[Byron]

Close enough.

[John Holmberg]

Just rip it up without the outside. The race does all the work. Yeah, I know.

[Byron]

Those nights actually pull any button. Does anybody go, oh, well, it's Japanese night. We gotta go. You know, it's.

[John Holmberg]

They knew.

[Brady]

Not as much as Star Trek night or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

Star Trek night? Nobody's doing Star Trek. Star wars, maybe.

[Brady]

No, they used.

[John Holmberg]

They have a Star Trek. They're not bringing those people out. But they knew they'd have some Japanese people there because Shohei's there and the pitcher last. The starting pitcher for the Dodgers last night was Japanese.

[Byron]

Would those people have not shown up if it. You know what I mean? If it wasn't Japanese?

[John Holmberg]

No, they were going to be shown.

[Byron]

Anyway, so it doesn't matter.

[John Holmberg]

So they just kind of coattailed in on the fact that they had extra Japanese people in the crowd last night and acted like they were paying tribute to them somehow. Those people didn't want to be. They would rather Be at Dodger Stadium. And by the way, there's like 12 Japanese people in all of Phoenix. I think all of them showed up for sure. And then who you're really appreciating is the Japanese press who follow Shohei all over the place. They love that. Dude, they're everywhere.

[Byron]

Well, they're doing. The Giants are doing Star Trek night. Brady's not too far off.

[John Holmberg]

Star Trek night's a night to avoid. But it isn't. But I'll give you this.

[Brady]

Tied in with a MGM Grand.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so here's the fun of Star Trek Night. You're not pandering to the opposing team. It's not like they've got a cling on. On the Padres. And when they come to town, it's like Star Trek night. It's. This was. Oh, this was Shohei Night. And right there in the face of the Diamondbacks, you don't even celebrate your own team. You know how many Japanese players that are being honored? You honored the 10,000.

[Brady]

Get a Godzilla.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Yeah, yeah, right.

[Byron]

I'd go to that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, and that's what I said. If you're gonna do it every time there's a home run mushroom cloud on the screen, you gotta throw it out. So here's what we got for Mexican Heritage Weekend. We're big on this stuff. Mexican heritage. They do it at Suns games when they did Mexican night and gay night and all that others. Just play the game.

[Byron]

Pain at the park.

[John Holmberg]

You could just. Now that's an event. I can. That's something. Because it doesn't make the other team. You're not celebrating the other.

[Byron]

Yeah, but I'm going to see a ball game. I'm not going to park. You know, Postinos, there's Chinese.

[John Holmberg]

There's Chinese heritage, and I don't know what that. Look at a hat with Chinese writing on the side.

[Byron]

There's Filipino Heritage Night.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Byron]

That's right there.

[John Holmberg]

It's like Manny Pacquiao gonna be there. That's dumb. Anyway. Diamondbacks. That's dumb.

[Byron]

Nau Night.

[John Holmberg]

That's not a thing.

[Byron]

Ride night. Hello Kitty. Ticket pack.

[John Holmberg]

This one says Pilates at the park is tonight. They do that a lot. The Church of Jesus Christ. Latter Day Family Night. Jesus, that's gonna be a sellout. There's only gonna be six families that went. Faith and Family Night. Enjoy a beer on us for Faith and Family Night. Jewish Community Day. I'll go to that.

[Byron]

Pokemon Go Night. Puerto Rican heritage.

[John Holmberg]

I'll go to that, too. Just claim to. Now do you get Anything Cuban. See, here's the thing. If you're going to do it, here's how last night should have worked. Japs get in free. That's all it should have been. That's it. Japs get in free. That's how this works. If you're going to pay tribute to them, give them something.

[Brady]

They made a mistake. Irish heritage hat had the D back.

[Byron]

They should have had little mi cats.

[John Holmberg]

A little wear Mick hat, the jersey instead of baseball gloves. I can wear a box.

[Byron]

Greek Heritage night.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm not doing it.

[Byron]

Catholic night.

[John Holmberg]

And that's all that means this year. A lot of drinking.

[Byron]

Who are they playing?

[Brady]

The Phillies.

[Byron]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good. Philadelphia.

[Byron]

There we go. There. I'm going there. How you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Either way, jab's getting free last night, and that's the way it works. Because if you're gonna. If you're gonna celebrate him, you gotta do it and then you gotta prove it. Like, German heritage night's gonna be tough. You can't being Japanese if you're white. I can't. If I'm like, I can get to Irish and German night. That's why they don't do it. But for Japanese and Chinese stuff, they get in free. Mexicans, you guys should have your own night, too.

[Byron]

Oh, that's in there.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but I mean, getting in free if you're going to do it. Go the hundred. Go the 100%. It's Japanese appreciation night. Well, what did they get? Nothing. Two Mexicans won passes to Panda Express on the dugout with Mike Bauer. It was ridiculous. And then, you know, that's got to.

[Byron]

Be the worst being Wilson known, going to something like that. It's like, really? I'm not even.

[John Holmberg]

He's Korean. Nobody even thought to ask. I mean, they might as well just wander and go take that slant and then walk away like, Jesus, you guys, you're racist as hell. Even giving him anything close enough. You. You'll do you want to play on the big screen. I'm Korean. Look, anybody knows the difference, it's terrible. It's just a. It's a terrible thing. And then, you know, you put the. The dance crew and the PR team in a rough spot, go out and find me a Japanese guy. Like, yeah, this is not good. This is. Excuse me. Would you like to be part of our thing? Oh, sure. Why you picking me? I don't know. You were just closest, I suppose. I. Korean. Don't worry about it. Nobody's ever gonna. That guy's. That's Enrico Palazzo. He's Korean big.

[Brady]

Comp a couple of families, tickets, comp them all.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna do it. Do it right.

[Brady]

We need you there tonight.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you don't do it on Shohei Ohtani night, and you don't do it when there's a Japanese pitcher for the opposition. That's just. And they did. They planned that on purpose. It's dumb. Now, Brady, tell us your story about what you heard at the thing.

[Brady]

And there were a lot of stories told at.

[John Holmberg]

At the funeral.

[Brady]

Yeah. New highsil celebration of life. And one of them was when they're setting up this Tempe sister cities deal, they actually set one of the cities up was a communist city. And supposedly this was early. It was 1970. 71.

[John Holmberg]

So he's behind the Iron Curtain.

[Brady]

Behind the Iron Curtain. And he meets Gorbachev and a couple.

[John Holmberg]

Other people who was not the premier by any stretch at all. No, he was just some guy in Russia probably on.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Or something. Right. Yeah.

[Brady]

And set this whole thing up. Anyway, it turned into they got into a vodka shot contest and Gorbachev tap tapped out at seven shots. Dick Neuheisel, 12.

[John Holmberg]

The point is, he drank the Russian.

[Brady]

Yes. And then one other guy from Tempe. I forget. They said he went up to like 20 shots. We almost lost him.

[John Holmberg]

So there had to be other dudes and. Yeah, yeah, there had to be other dudes.

[Brady]

There was one of Gordon shots. Security guys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So you're not out.

[Brady]

He was drinking again.

[John Holmberg]

It's a story told and sounds a little prattish to me.

[Byron]

Well, yeah, I don't think Vladimir exactly.

[Brady]

There could be. But yeah, Dick could drink first and fore.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, he could drink, but he can out drink a Russian in a vodka shooting contest. That's going to be tough to do. And certainly the Russians, I would come in last. And by the way, 12 shots of vodka in Russia.

[Brady]

Russian vodka.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're walking. You're walking backwards for a month.

[Brady]

20.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the other guy. I don't buy that one at all. But why was Gorbachev. Why were they in a shooting contest in the first place?

[Brady]

They're out basically putting that thing together. We'll have this exchange program going on and.

[John Holmberg]

And then they just celebrate hammered.

[Brady]

Let's celebrate.

[John Holmberg]

Let's kill the Americans. All right. That's a hell of a story.

[Brady]

I'm picturing it like the Raiders of.

[John Holmberg]

Lost Ark where she's drinking, she's dropping them with him. Yeah. I don't buy the tempe kid getting 20. Maybe Dick Newheis will drop 12. But why would Gorbachev get involved in that? And why not get pictures? Ye, you gotta have some photos of that that should have been on that on those funeral slideshows. You see, that would have just been the questions abound when the picture goes by and he's with Gorbachev and they've got glasses in the air.

[Larry McFeely]

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[Byron]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to M and P Guns?

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammun accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at m.

[John Holmberg]

And p guns.com It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug hopkins.com TV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online. Doughopkins.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins singers. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

That's what Gorbachev hand him the Salvador dolly sketch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I want you to have the guy guy.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was the Salvador Dali guy. Yeah. Ah. Did you get your painting back?

[Brady]

Can't find his hand around anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, you gave that back and they lost it?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Byron]

Must have been very important to him.

[John Holmberg]

They demanded the painting back.

[Brady]

Yeah. And you gave it to them? They have a. You know, they have so much to talk about, hoarding, in a way.

[John Holmberg]

And they lost it. Yeah.

[Brady]

They can't find it.

[John Holmberg]

The one that they absolutely must have had. Like, they had to knock on your door because you guys bartered some crappy trades and they gave you a Salvador Dali drawing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In lieu of payment. Because we don't use cash at the Bogan household. And that's worked out real well with the generator and all the nonsense. And then came back and said, give me that back. That we'll just give you something else.

[Brady]

He wasn't allowed to really give that away.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And you wanted that rather than just cash?

[Brady]

Well, they. Ronnie asked me, you know, manicure back. I was offered this. Yeah. I. It's fair trade.

[John Holmberg]

Who does that?

[Brady]

Family.

[John Holmberg]

They're not your family.

[Brady]

Well, she's a cousin.

[John Holmberg]

They're working. They're your. They're your employee or your client.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Show up, you give cash. That one still bugs me. And now especially, did you ask, like, where's the dolly thing? I don't know. We threw that out. So now she got nothing.

[Brady]

Evidently. Can't find it.

[John Holmberg]

Threw a stink at it, too. You guys, stop this trade stuff. You never get. You're never on the good side of it.

[Brady]

They found the Picasso's. No problem.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. But the dolly one. That was used as a payment for pedicures and stuff.

[Brady]

Yeah. Mani pedis.

[John Holmberg]

And then they come rapping on the door. I wasn't allowed to give you that. Give it back. I'd have gone through their stuff. That better be in the will. And to Brady, we give the. That thing. We took back the gift given back. Maybe he was drunk with Gorbachev. That's a good story, though. I'd like you to make up a story like that for me at a funeral, too. I think that's pretty good.

[Brady]

That's. That's part of the celebration of life.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Stories like a bunch of lies about the guy who's dead make him seem cooler than he actually was. That's a lot. That's a big one. That's a big one. That's a whopper. You drink it with Gorbachev and everybody remembers the exact amount and all that. That's usually exaggerated it. I've been drinking with some people.

[Brady]

Great story.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But I don't remember the numbers. The tally. Seven to 12 to 20. If I have 12 shots of vodka, I'm not coming out of there with numbers. I'm laying down like I think I drank with Gorbachev. I don't remember the deets. That's grand, though. That's how stories are supposed to work, as they. And over time, a thousand shots were taken by all three men.

[Brady]

Anyone that is believable with, it's him.

[John Holmberg]

He's like Captain McBride.

[Brady]

He just had a very Forrest Gump like life.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty cool. And there were no pictures of him and Gorbachev. He probably didn't know it was Gorbachev yet. I mean, it wasn't. He wasn't yet, right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He was just some guy. So it could have been anybody. This story is large. I don't have any good. The giant lie stories from my funeral.

[Byron]

Don't worry, I'll make one up for you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I need you guys to do.

[Byron]

Gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, make it a while.

[Byron]

Yeah. I mean, come on.

[Brady]

A picture of them, you know, in the program, they had different pictures over and one of them was shaking hands with Ronald Reagan.

[John Holmberg]

And that's pretty cool. Did he booze with him, too? That would have been a great.

[Brady]

Took him under.

[John Holmberg]

He dropped. He put a lot of world leaders under the table. That's pretty good. Yeah. Drinking Malort in Chicago with the. The new Pope. That's good stuff. All right. I got my questions about that one, but I'll give it to him because it's. You know, he just died. I'm still angry. I didn't know they were the Salvador Dali people. That's still. I probably would have skipped the funeral in protest.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like. Yeah, sorry, I can't make it. I was gonna go, but I had some stuff taken away from me, so I have to start over in life.

[Brady]

We got another painting in lieu of.

[John Holmberg]

Did you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What was it?

[Brady]

It's that German guy with a dicer. Wait, so we don't know the for.

[John Holmberg]

Services rendered they get.

[Brady]

No, no. They just turn around and Jane was. That's what stuff. This is years, you know, like a.

[John Holmberg]

Year or two later, they're just handing your paint.

[Byron]

You didn't learn the first time.

[Brady]

You might like this painting.

[John Holmberg]

And you're like, we like. The last cool painting is just give it back to her. You're gonna take it anyway. Yeah.

[Brady]

It's on loan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is it in the garage with all the other junk?

[Brady]

It's in the man cave.

[John Holmberg]

Is it hanging?

[Brady]

Not yet.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's just leaning on something.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This guy.

[Byron]

You didn't learn the first time?

[John Holmberg]

No. You don't take paintings as currency.

[Byron]

Next thing we did velvet Elvis from the swap.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the first time you did, though, is what?

[Byron]

Next they're gonna bring him a velvet Elvis from the swap meet. Oh, it's an original.

[Brady]

We'll take it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, take money, Brady, for Christ's sake, stop trading. You got a generator up in Scottsdale. You're gonna get your jaw broken by some guy. And it was all because nobody paid money. Nobody ever feels, even in a trade.

[Brady]

Your jaw broke for loaning stuff.

[Byron]

You. And you're gonna lose your picture window when he throws it through there.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. You're gonna lose that front bay window right before he breaks your jaw. Generator shooting through your house.

[Brady]

That's why I've been leaving the window open.

[John Holmberg]

You know what would have eliminated all this? The word no and no. I'll just pay you and you pay or cash or cash. Cash only. Just cash, Jackass. Yeah. That's pretty awesome, though, that they tried to pay him with a dolly and then they took it back. And the word no in that, too. That's the painting they gave you?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's awful. Why did they.

[Byron]

I'll take the dolly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I would take a children's, like, art from a fridge off of it. That's terrible. Wow. You. Jay Moore's gonna join us. Little while this morning. We got Jay Moore in town today. It's the first time he's been back in a while. First time he's been back since he's married to the owner of the Lakers.

[Brady]

Was it. I mean, was our comedy show the last time?

[John Holmberg]

I think so.

[Brady]

I think it was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It was like, years ago, too. It's like 17 or 18. It's been. Been a long time. Is he.

[Byron]

He's still out there working.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. That'll be one of the questions and. Shut up, Steadman. He's doing his podcast.

[Brady]

He does? Yeah, he started up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If I was him, yeah, I would be. I'd be houseboy.

[Byron]

Yeah, Damn right.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'm getting out. Traveling to Phoenix for a weekend to see if I can pop in an extra 40k or something. Drop in the bucket, go mop up the Forum. Go dust some magic pictures. What's the matter with you?

[Brady]

It's just another Rolex weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's another watch for Jay. And if he doesn't pull it off, he'll get it. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert?

[Byron]

Wake Up. Song brought to you by, of course, our buddies over at Action Ride Shop with their two locations. Getting you ready for a bike season. You want to. Want to pick up a new bike? We always talk about the. The E bikes and stuff. I got a full line of them from Pivot Santa Cruz. Even just the ones you screws around the streets. If you want to pick up, you know, you got to get your bike.

[Dick Toledo]

Service, get it fixed.

[Byron]

It's been in the garage the whole winter. They're the place to do it. Best wrenches in town. And it's at Action Ride Shop in two locations, as a matter of fact. Brand new location right there. Power and McDowell, right by the Hawse trailhead. And of course, the OG on Gilbert.

[John Holmberg]

Road in Southern guy says, oh, Shawn Rockefeller, Blind Listener of the Year last year, says, so Brady's got all the details of the new Heisel family stories memorized, right down to the number of drinks. Not another day that goes by that he can't answer the question, what's your wife's maiden name? With confidence, though, it's a good point.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I might not have gotten the drinks accurate either.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I know, but you heard it last night. It was like this.

[Brady]

And I said, yeah, I remembered that one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that was a story that meant something to you, to the point where the details were remembered. You're not a detail oriented fella. So this was a big story. That's a lot. That's a lot of lying. I'm just. I'm just gonna tell you. Whoever told that story last night, that was. That was lie. Maybe they drank with Gorbachev, but nobody ever remembered. That's what college girls do. I had like six shots, and then I did some rum and then Rumpelman. So they always give the menu of how they got drunk. I'm like, you didn't do any of that. You're lying. You don't know if you get good and drunk, you don't remember the amounts. You just get shocked at the bill. What the hell did we just do? Who drank all this tequila? Anthony. But it's a good story for a funeral. It gets kind of that braveheart thing. He's 13ft tall. He could shoot lightning bolts out of his ass. Those are those moments you want folklore. You don't want a boring funeral. Guy didn't do anything. What's your story at your funeral? That you'd be like, tell this one and make it good. Do you have any of them?

[Brady]

There's so many.

[John Holmberg]

Are there one? Then give me one. Is there anything that you'd want us to brag about or lie about or expand upon?

[Brady]

Maybe the, you know, one recently, The Randy Johnson weekend.

[John Holmberg]

That was pretty good. Yeah. You and Randy Johnson spent the weekend together in a hotel room chucking baseballs at Applebee's walls. We can make it so you and. Yeah, there it is. That's the Pratt moment that Randy Jared you to throw a baseball, and then you did it instead of what really happened, which was nobody did anything. Just talked a lot about Randy. And you threw baseballs together into walls at Applebee's. And then we turned it through.

[Brady]

He threw it through the wall.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he threw a heater through the wall. And Brady was on the other side. Yeah. And then you used to take it on the road like you want to like. We'll make your story about Randy not just one trip, but you guys followed the NHRA around for like a year. And every time, whatever city you were in, you and Randy played your I bet Randy can throw it through a wall thing, and you guys did it, and you would head on the other side of the wall. You would catch it. Ah, Brady and Randy were so close. He can't be here tonight. Yeah, Randy can't be here. He's not here to confirm any of this lie anyway. What do you want up on there, Brett?

[Byron]

Well, we got Avenged. Sevenfold Unholy Confession. It's all obviously related.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Byron]

Typo negative. Christian Woman. She Sells Sanctuary. Not Falling south of Heaven. The Blues Brothers Sweet Home Chicago Ministry. Jesus Built My Hot Rod Kiss Unholy. And I think Soundgarden Jesus Christ pose is pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do that. Sound Gardens. Jesus Christ poses. The way to go. That's too good for the Chicago Pope. Remember that show on NBC, Chicago Hope? We just changed the name of that. That's Chicago Pope now. And I just go around solving mysteries in the Chicagoland area. All. Let's wander over here. Which one of you ass faces did this? And don't lie to me. I'm the Pope. Chicago Pope. He's got a badge on his little dress. I'd watch that all day. And he's there now. He's in your Jesus Christ post. Soundgarden. This one's for you, Bob Prevost. It's 98K upd, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness, and we're talking to you about reactdefense.com the home of Tactical Black Self Defense Training. You know all about it by now. Get in great shape. Learn stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Prepare for a life you just can't prepare for until you start doing the work. And right now the price is unbeatable. Two months of personal training right there. Hands on React Defense self defense system. It is 199 bucks for too much. You're not getting that anywhere else and all you have to do is go to reactdefense.com the home of tacticalblast back it's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time once again for this week's Pick of the Litter. Brought to you by our friends at Turf monsters. Go to turfmonstersaz.com they help us out at Lost our home Pet Rescue. We appreciate them greatly. This week's Peck of the Litter is a project. It's Jep. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees right now. This week Pick of the litter. It's Jeff App. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com Prestige Billiards has everything you need for your game room from top of the line pool tables to billiard balls and everything in between. This includes game room furniture, air hockey, dartboards, ping pong tables, arcade games and much more. Prestige Billiards is family owned and operated and is dedicated to providing the very best quality products and service. Prestige Billiards has five star ratings on Yelp and financing is available. Check them [e-mail] or or in person at one of their three locations in Mesa, Scottsdale and now Glendale. Prestige Billiards delivers statewide and tell them John Holberg sent you.