05-12-25 - BR - MON - It's Natl Limerick Day As We Try To Remember What One Is - Study Finds Ideal Number Of Sexual Partners - Annual List Of Popular Baby Names And Our Mexican Gang Member Name Test - Natl Video Game HOF Nominees Announced

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 05-12-25 - BR - MON - It's Natl Limerick Day As We Try To Remember What One Is - Study Finds Ideal Number Of Sexual Partners - Annual List Of Popular Baby Names And Our Mexican Gang Member Name Test - Natl Video Game HOF Nominees Announced Release Date: May 12, 2025

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1. Introduction

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg, alongside Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, dives into a variety of entertaining and thought-provoking topics. From celebrating National Limerick Day to dissecting the ideal number of sexual partners, the team brings humor and insight to their discussions, ensuring listeners are both entertained and informed.

2. National Limerick Day

The episode kicks off with a lively discussion about National Limerick Day. The hosts engage in a humorous attempt to recall and define what exactly constitutes a limerick.

• Brady Bogen (04:38): "Happy National Limerick Day."
• John Holmberg (05:30): "A five-line poem with specific rhyme and a syllable pattern. Eight, eight, five."

Despite some initial confusion, the team clarifies that limericks are traditionally five-line poems with a distinct rhyme scheme, often humorous or whimsical in nature. Their banter highlights the playful atmosphere of the show as they navigate the intricacies of poetic forms.

3. Study on Ideal Number of Sexual Partners

A significant portion of the episode is devoted to discussing a recent study that explores the ideal number of sexual partners for men and women. The study, which surveyed perceptions among 25-year-olds in Germany, suggests:

• For Men: The ideal number is four to five lifetime sex partners, with two to three being casual.
• For Women: The ideal number is two to three total sex partners, with one to two being casual.

John Holmberg (07:05): "Only two of the number one NFL draft picks from the past 20 years have won a Super Bowl."

The hosts delve into the societal pressures and judgments surrounding sexual activity:

• Brady Bogen (13:25): "The study also found that men who had less sex than their ideal were judged more harshly than women in the same situation."

This leads to a broader conversation about double standards, with the hosts debating the fairness and applicability of such studies. They emphasize the importance of personal choice and challenge the notion of societal expectations dictating individual behavior.

4. Annual Baby Names and the Mexican Gang Member Name Test

Transitioning to lighter topics, the team reviews the Social Security Administration's annual baby names list for 2024, highlighting that Olivia and Liam continue to dominate as the top names for girls and boys, respectively.

• John Holmberg (18:45): "Olivia, Emma, Amelia, Charlotte, Mia, Sophia, Isabella, Evelyn, Ava."

The conversation takes a humorous turn with the introduction of the Mexican Gang Member Name Test, where certain names are playfully evaluated based on their perceived toughness or association with stereotypes.

• John Holmberg (19:12): "Name your kid Mateo. That's a Mexican or Italian name."
• Brady Bogen (20:28): "Looks like a kid's penis, which is covered in warts. It's HPV untreated is what it says."

While the test is presented in jest, it sparks a discussion about cultural perceptions and the implications of naming trends. The hosts balance humor with critical thinking, encouraging listeners to reflect on the origins and societal influences of baby names.

5. National Video Game Hall of Fame Nominees

The episode also covers the National Video Game Hall of Fame (HOF) nominations for 2025. The nominees include iconic games such as Quake, GoldenEye 007, and Tamagotchi.

• Brady Bogen (22:14): "The world video game hall of fame has announced its class of 2025, including Quake."
• John Holmberg (25:12): "Frogger's still not in the hall of Fame."

The hosts express disappointment over classic games like Frogger being excluded, reminiscing about the nostalgia and cultural impact these games had during their peak years. Their passionate debate underscores the lasting legacy of certain games and the subjective nature of what merits recognition in the Hall of Fame.

6. Additional Discussions and Humor

Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse their main topics with casual banter and humorous anecdotes:

• Brady Bogen (28:26): "The annual cactus whipping festival... Someone's just hitting himself with a cactus."
• John Holmberg (34:33): "Sexy Megan Fox off-brand Megan Fox with no pants on."

These light-hearted segments provide a comic relief, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and ability to entertain while discussing varied subjects.

7. Conclusion

Concluding the episode, the hosts reiterate their commitment to delivering engaging and diverse content. They encourage listeners to tune in daily for more discussions, humor, and insights into topics ranging from pop culture to societal studies.

John Holmberg (35:16): "See, we couldn't just end it there. She had to barf out her own anus. Thank you."

This memorable quote encapsulates the show's blend of humor and candid conversation, leaving listeners eager for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen (07:05): "Only two of the number one NFL draft picks from the past 20 years have won a Super Bowl."
• Brady Bogen (13:25): "The study also found that men who had less sex than their ideal were judged more harshly than women in the same situation."
• John Holmberg (19:12): "Name your kid Mateo. That's a Mexican or Italian name."
• John Holmberg (25:12): "Frogger's still not in the hall of Fame."
• John Holmberg (34:33): "Sexy Megan Fox off-brand Megan Fox with no pants on."

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Summary: This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a mix of humor, insightful discussions, and engaging banter. From celebrating poetic forms and analyzing societal studies to critiquing naming trends and reminiscing about classic video games, the hosts provide a well-rounded and entertaining listening experience for their Arizona audience and beyond.

Transcript

[Byron]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo from Homework's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. Now, nearly six months later, I'm feeling like my old, old self again. Go to gameday phoenix.com today and book a free consultation in a matter of minutes at GameDay's in house lab. A licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to incorporate any number of these therap fees to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging and it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's health locations in the Valley at gamedayphoenix.com Spring is.

[Larry McFeely]

In full swing now, and summer is right around the corner. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And there's no better time to hit the trails, the lakes and those wide open desert roads in a brand new Toyota. Whether you're hauling gear to Roosevelt Lake in the powerful Toyota Tundra, navigating rocky trails in the rugged Tacoma, or exploring Sedona in The all new 4Runner, Toyota's got the muscle and comfort to match your most excellent adventures. Head to your Valley Toyota dealer or Valley Toyota Dealer Dealers.com today and gear up for summer in a ride that's built for the heat and the adventures. Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com I got this email. Dearest Holmberg, I don't have $10 million in my house or a ridiculous amount of money in the bank. And I'm sure when you're talking about Life Changer Loan, you're not talking about people like me. So before I even think about it, can you enlighten me? It's not a rich person's money scheme that excludes normal people. Actually, you're going to end up paying off your mortgage in about five years and save on average about 250,000 dol. $50,000 in interest. Find out how for yourself. Schedule a [e-mail] it's not magic, it's just math. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. That's Power Man 5000 right there. The worlds are colliding For Brady, it is yeah, it is. He's still texting. We'll get. We'll stall for you there if he's in the midst of it. The winner for our Disturbed package coming up this week. Thursday night, the Disturbed is going to be over there at PHX arena. And Brett's going to be backstage and he's taking that one person with him that won one of our five qualifiers last week from our Disturbed stuff. And they're getting that amazing VIP set up for the Disturbed show where they'll actually get to interview the band. Who was our winner?

[Byron]

Matt Ferguson.

[John Holmberg]

How did he win?

[Byron]

I think he was the winner of the Disturbed off, if I'm not mistaken.

[John Holmberg]

I think you're right.

[Byron]

I think so.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Yeah. Okay.

[Byron]

So you know he's doing the interview. I'm not doing it. I'm just hanging out.

[John Holmberg]

And you shouldn't.

[Byron]

I'm kind of like his handler.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. I mean, you turn the equipment on. Yep. So here you go. Go crazy.

[Byron]

Yep. So he's got to have his own questions and everything's got to be ready to make an ass of us.

[Brady]

Unless. Unless Dave's fiance comes in and she wants to answer some questions.

[John Holmberg]

If Dave's fiance comes in and tells him don't step in. Yeah, it could be pretty great. You might have to get some photos at the very least. Of course, Dave is now engaged to be married to an Instagram model that he pulled out of the crowd. Proposed to Friday night. Fantastic work. Excellent.

[Brady]

Met her two days ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just couldn't help it. Like you in the front row. Come with me. And he does sound more and more like Gene Simmons when he talks now. I told him that when we were on with him last time. You sound a lot like Gene Simmons. You're a very powerful and handsome man. Thank you. Dave Draiman. I think they all probably turned into that Jewish rock stars. I'm saying they all kind of sound the same at the end.

[Byron]

So the squares. We can have Dave, Gene and Benjamin.

[John Holmberg]

Netanyahu and a slightly adjusted Vince McMahon. It's almost all the same. There's a lot of twofers out there. That's a fourfer. That's a pretty solid one. That's a good one. Do whole squares of just that voice.

[Byron]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Being different people.

[Byron]

It can work easy for you then.

[John Holmberg]

Simple day. It's never hard. It's. The Brain Report is upon us. And it's brought to you by our friends at all Pro Shade concepts. 20 years of shade means two decades of quality customer or, sorry, custom installed patio shades. They got awnings, the sunscreens, all that stuff. Free installation on everything. And here's the thing. Call them up, show them what you're thinking about. You get a free estimate. It's not like they're going to charge you just for showing up. You got an idea, they come out, they take a look, they throw the estimate your way. You make a decision. They're custom built to block up to 95% of the sun's UV rays, cuts down on dust and wind and drops the temperatures, in some cases up to 20 degrees in the area you want. That is outstanding. Call them right now or tech or get online. Do that all prochet.com. check them out and then get them over to your house for the estimate. Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy National Limerick Day.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. 575 or 757? 575. No, wait. Limericks are the.

[Brady]

The limericks can be long.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's a. No, no, that's the other thing. I forgot what those are.

[Brady]

That's the. Not sonic.

[John Holmberg]

Don't. Don't tell you.

[Brady]

We just had it the two weeks ago.

[John Holmberg]

Limits are limericks were the like or as, right?

[Brady]

Think so.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember what a limerick is.

[Byron]

Oh, yeah, look it up. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it. Haiku is the five. Yeah. The hell's the other thing? Anyway, I think limericks include liker as. All right, I think. Is that wrong? What's that one?

[Byron]

A five line poem with specific rhyme and a syllable. Eight. Eight, five.

[John Holmberg]

It's. Yeah, the ones with a girlfriend. Blah, blah.

[Byron]

It's all Irish songs, basically.

[John Holmberg]

What's the one I'm thinking of? That's the liker.

[Larry McFeely]

Ass.

[Brady]

What's onomatopoeia?

[John Holmberg]

Onomatopoeia. An anomatopoeia. Forgot all this stuff to school for this metaphor. Is that what that is?

[Brady]

Yeah, metaphors like her ass.

[John Holmberg]

Don't act like you knew.

[Brady]

No, that does. But I didn't know. I thought there's a poem that's using like.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brady]

There's something that's called a metaphor.

[Byron]

We don't know.

[John Holmberg]

No, metaphor isn't using like or as. It's a likeness or a comparison of things. All right.

[Brady]

I thought it was using like or as to describe something or.

[John Holmberg]

Damn it, I'll remember all this someday.

[Brady]

First, baseless fun fact. Only two of the number one NFL draft picks from the past 20 years have won a Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

Two number one draft picks.

[Brady]

Yep. Past 20 years.

[John Holmberg]

Matt Stafford.

[Brady]

Yes, L.A. rams, 2022.

[John Holmberg]

In the past 20 years, only two have won. Peyton Manning. Yeah. Who's on your list?

[Brady]

Eric Fisher with the Kansas City Chiefs in 2020.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brady]

Peyton Manning might not have been. Was he number one?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's him and Ryan Leaf. One two.

[Brady]

Was that more than 20 years ago? No.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the draft was, but he's won a Super bowl since.

[Brady]

That's what it is. Number one draft picks in the past 20 years have won the Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

So people drafted in the past 20 years that have won. Okay. Not that they have won one in the past 20 years because the number one pick won one. Peyton won one. That's kind of a twist on that whole thing. So if you were drafted 20 years ago, 2005, on any draft picks from there. Only two from there. Got it?

[Brady]

Yeah. If you were the number one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But number ones drafted before 2005 have won Super Bowls in the past 20 years.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Got it.

[Brady]

Approximately 2% of people have a gene that makes it so their armpits don't smell even without deodorant.

[John Holmberg]

Simile. Damn it. Like her. As is Simile. Son of a. I don't know why that just popped in my head. Sorry. Been racking my brain. Simile is like her ass. Yeah. Ah. That was killing me.

[Brady]

Inside ad Time for the series finale of MASH in 1983 cost more than it did for the super bowl that year.

[John Holmberg]

I think at that point more people watched it. MASH had like a hundred million viewers. The finale, it's incredible.

[Brady]

I wonder if it did top the super bowl because I know it was in. It was in. That still is like top five finales.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know which one it is, but it's most viewed. Yeah. I think the. The highest ratings for. Well, that was back though networks. That'll always be the same. Now it's just going to be live sporting events because you won't get that kind of coverage with all this. That was before cable took over. There were four channels when MASH had its finale.

[Brady]

A new study claims to have found a sweet spot for the ideal number of sexual partners for men. The magic numbers were about four to five lifetime sex partners with two or three being casual.

[John Holmberg]

Lifetime. Like you keep them going forever.

[Brady]

No, during.

[John Holmberg]

Over your life.

[Brady]

Over your lifetime.

[John Holmberg]

I'm grateful. If it's four or five you're supposed to carry all the way to the grave. The hell are we doing?

[Brady]

No. And there's something that will factor in on that as well. They're saying Two or three casual. And the age of their first sexual encounter is usually between 18 and 20 years old. For women, the ideal was lower. It was two to three total sex partners, one or two being casual.

[John Holmberg]

And wait a minute, they wanted three total body count and two casual.

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So they went to horror nights and one permanent keep. Yeah, that's the ideal deal.

[Brady]

That. That is the. Yes, that's the ideal.

[John Holmberg]

Here's my problem with this. A woman can't be asked what her ideal situation is for body count because ultimately she can meet that. It's all up to her.

[Brady]

Couple factors here.

[John Holmberg]

We have to fight for it. They do not.

[Brady]

Yeah. And now on this study, they just open up. Yep, there's a couple factors. The study use data from Germany where the age of consent is 14among peers. The thing is, the study was focused on perceptions of 25 year olds. So apparently lifetime is for 25. You can't you factor in someone that's by the time they're 70?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. It's going to be a tough one.

[Byron]

This is like when Chris talking about women, doesn't matter what number. She says it's too much.

[John Holmberg]

2.

[Byron]

I guess you were raised that way.

[John Holmberg]

It's up to them. Yeah. A woman saying, my ideal amount of partners is four, then you do four.

[Byron]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

If it's your ideal and you're at 12, but your ideal was four, you've greatly failed yourself because you're the only one given the green light. It's basically your women's vaginas are like the Squid games. Red light, green light. Your red light. Otherwise we stop. And if you say green light, we're going. You say red light, we stop. So it's all up to you. It's the ultimate decision. We don't have the decision skills. We take ports and storms. We have to. We have to.

[Larry McFeely]

It's Larry mcfailey. And whether you're tearing up desert trails in a Tacoma, towing your toys with a tough tundra, or exploring the back roads in the all new 4Runner, your Toyota is built to go the distance. Now, obviously, our roads and weather can be brutal. That's why keeping your Toyota in top shape is key. Trust only genuine Toyota technicians with genuine Toyota parts. From oil changes to full checkups, your valley Toyota dealer has got you covered. So before you hit the trail, hit the service bay, visit your valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com Summer starts here. Toyota, let's go. Places.

[Mo]

All right, HMS podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feldman face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand Up Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's.

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

The study also we'd be here all.

[John Holmberg]

Of our lives trying to figure it out if we were in charge of my God, it would just be a slew of dirty sex.

[Brady]

The study also found that men who had less sex than their ideal were judged more harshly than women in the same situation. So men still face pressure to perform while women are penalized for exceeding perform, you know, x performances. Basically, a woman that had a lot of sex over the ideal amount of partners. Yeah. Are more penalized for their hooers.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

But they feel that way that people look at them as they should.

[John Holmberg]

Men just don't care. What would you bradle ask you this? What would you rather have a girl who's been with like 25 guys.

[Byron]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Or a girl who had a boyfriend for the past 10 years and all they did was have sex like loads of it. And she's only had 25 individual sexual experiences.

[Brady]

I'll take that.

[John Holmberg]

25 guys. Or the one that had a boyfriend that was just. They were just ravenous.

[Mo]

I'll just.

[Byron]

I think I'll take the 25.

[John Holmberg]

You take the slot.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'll take the one.

[Byron]

She knows what she's doing.

[John Holmberg]

She's the One that just has the one.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, she is just.

[Byron]

But she's going to be too attached to everything.

[John Holmberg]

See, because I look at it 25 years amount of times doing it. Like if she's, you know, you're just. We just put commitment on it as some sort of a barrier. Like if she just liked having sex and she had sex with 25 guys or she spent the last two months having sex with one dude a lot.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's really no difference. Some girl, some girl at Tony Romas told me that.

[Brady]

I see it as a. Well, there's a. She stayed with the person a long time. What if she wasn't like, she knows what she wants then.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady]

Because she's staying with that guy for.

[John Holmberg]

But what if she was just an absolute. With one guy, did everything dirty, filthy, gross stuff.

[Byron]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Or just 25 sexual partners throughout where.

[Dick Toledo]

She was trying to find out what she wanted.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because really, 25 times having sex is 25.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. It seems like she knows what she wants with that.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady]

One. And that's a. That's a good.

[John Holmberg]

Found a good keepers. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Until divorce happens.

[John Holmberg]

Do it again. Yeah. I, you know, girl who has lots of sex with lots of guys or a girl who has lots of sex with just one or two guys. Same thing, really. It's just an invasion. It's dirty.

[Brady]

But don't you think it's moving on, is becoming bored with it or it's played out because if you're going to a bunch of different people, you're not.

[John Holmberg]

Finding, you know, you might, you might have some great experiences. But we label women as whores when they have sex with multiple men.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But we don't label them as horse when they actually act like whores with one guy, you know, or you know. Doesn't even mean she should immediately hear.

[Brady]

About that so much. Whereas.

[John Holmberg]

No, she'll be finding out that you have.

[Brady]

Oh, she's been with a bunch.

[John Holmberg]

One way is clearly dirtier.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because, you know, she can probably spread a little more junk that way. But we attached the word whore to a girl who's like, you know, indecisive really is what the word we should use.

[Brady]

This woman in Northern Ireland named Catherine Stewart just got married. Her wedding party was slightly bigger than most. She ended up having 95 bridesmaids.

[John Holmberg]

Geez.

[Brady]

She said she started with seven or eight, which is where most weddings top out. But she runs a dance school and eventually decided just to include all of her dancers. Her new husband Jack did not follow suit. He only had eight groomsmen.

[Byron]

Look, broad, you're not that important the entire wedding.

[John Holmberg]

Neither's he, by the way. Eight groomsmen's too many groomsmen too.

[Byron]

Unbelievable.

[Brady]

It's heavy. Total of 250 people. 103 of them were in the wedding party. Oh, so 40 of the guests.

[Byron]

So stupid.

[Brady]

That's better There.

[John Holmberg]

That's better.

[Brady]

But the walking down the aisle, they sped it up pretty good because the dancers basically.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Ran down.

[John Holmberg]

That's too much.

[Brady]

The Social Security Administration released its annual baby names list for Mother's Day. And for the sixth straight year, Olivia and Liam were the top two baby names of 2024. What's interesting is Liam's pretty strong. The Hayden Caden.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're kind of fake. They've dropped off because of my Mexican gang member test. Yeah, well, Mexican gang member Liam's a good name. And what are you looking at? Liam. That's kind of a tough sound.

[Dick Toledo]

And all the Gilbert moms got tired of seeing the same name among all the mothers.

[John Holmberg]

When you say Braden, and the whole school turns around.

[Brady]

Plus comedy the last four or five years on that fact of the Hayden Caden.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Hidden Kaden Bradens are everywhere. What are you looking at, Skyler? What are you looking at?

[Dick Toledo]

That's the one, Cole.

[John Holmberg]

Those names. The Mexican gang member name test is. It's undefeated.

[Brady]

So here are the Women, the top 10 most popular in 2024.

[John Holmberg]

What are you looking at, Brett? It's like, oh, we might have a fight here.

[Brady]

This.

[John Holmberg]

Brett. Guys, monosyllabic, tough guy for the girls.

[Brady]

Olivia, Emma, Amelia, Charlotte, Mia, Sophia, Isabella, Evelyn, Ava. Sophia.

[Byron]

Seems like all the.

[John Holmberg]

Is on there twice.

[Dick Toledo]

You said Sophia twice. Well, he liked it so good it came back around.

[John Holmberg]

Named her that two times.

[Brady]

Oh, okay. Because Sophia. S, O, P, H, I, A. And then Sophia with an F. S, O, F. That's why I was. Twice.

[John Holmberg]

That should count as the same thing.

[Brady]

There should be a slash for the boys. Liam, Noah, Oliver, Theodore, James, Henry.

[Dick Toledo]

Theodore.

[John Holmberg]

Teddy's making a comeback.

[Brady]

Mateo, Elijah, Lucas and William.

[John Holmberg]

I think you name a white kid Mateo.

[Byron]

No, that's a Mexican name.

[John Holmberg]

Mexican or Italian or. It's foreign. It's Spanish.

[Brady]

It's the Spanish version of Matthew.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Then name your kid Matt.

[Byron]

Jesus didn't make the list.

[John Holmberg]

What are you looking at? Matt, that's you. You got a fight there. What are you looking at? Oliver, that kid's not gonna. He's not gonna make it. He's not gonna make it through Westwood. That's for sure. You better not live over by Mesa High or Westwood if you've got an Oliver. If you go to school they're all I don't want to go to school, mom. It's they get all stabby.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, Ollie, come on, I'll walk you to school.

[John Holmberg]

Oliver.

[Byron]

Pinch. Oliver.

[Brady]

Pinchy. Oliver.

[John Holmberg]

Come on guys, let me be. What's the matter Oliver? Do you not feel safe? Oliver. Yeah, Mexicans are killing. I'm telling you, this test works. It does if you got a baby and it's about to come out. Do the Mexican gang member test. See if your kid's going to come out a winner or a loser.

[Brady]

25 year old Nebraska man named Aiden White has been arrested after he attacked 37 year old female neighbor and 7 year old daughter with a Star wars lightsaber.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, of course he's in. Aiden, you gotta hit me with your lightsaber. Eden.

[Brady]

He first struck the girl while she was out playing with her friends and her mom confronted him and he hit her in the arm, in the shoulder with a lightsaber. Both the mother and daughter say it hit him hard enough where it was painful.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it left a little bruise. It's a bat.

[Brady]

The police were called Something stick? Aiden admitted to the attack. He told the cops he was upset the victims at the victims because his rent was going to be raised. Supposedly because the victims kept the shared thermostat too high. He was charged with two felonies.

[John Holmberg]

Shared thermostat that.

[Brady]

What do you think Aiden's mug shot looks like?

[John Holmberg]

White as can be. Got mop of. Cannot have a floppy Logan Paul hair.

[Dick Toledo]

And not a lick of foreigner in him.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he cut his hair but yeah, he's. He's basically Michael. Sarah.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Oh God. Yeah. Nailed it.

[Byron]

Just think of comiccon and that's basically him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Huh.

[Brady]

Not sure if he's light skinned.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's white.

[Byron]

There's no Aiden cholo out there.

[Brady]

Looks kind of a fro now.

[John Holmberg]

That kid's as white as they get. That's no fro. It's just he's losing his hair so he keeps it tight. He's got another year with that. That's white.

[Byron]

That's a jufro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it might be. You're losing your hair, Aiden.

[Brady]

The world video game hall of fame has announced its class of 2025 defender the 1981 arcade game Quake.

[John Holmberg]

Forgot about Quake.

[Brady]

1996 was that follow up to Doom.

[John Holmberg]

Wasn't great but it was fun.

[Byron]

Yeah, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Quake was fun.

[Brady]

Goldeneye007 that's the one.

[Dick Toledo]

That's like a hundred dollar video game now if you have it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's got some music on it. If I remember the one of the.

[Brady]

Best selling Nintendo 64 games in 1997 and then Tamagotchi.

[John Holmberg]

No idea what that is.

[Brady]

The digital pet deal in 1996.

[Byron]

Is that where you had to feed that?

[Brady]

Feed it.

[John Holmberg]

Then it was became like Furby showed up a couple years later.

[Byron]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Larry McFeely]

Spring is in full swing now and summer is right around the corner. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And there's no better time to hit the trails, the lakes and those wide open desert roads in a brand brand new Toyota. Whether you're hauling gear to Roosevelt Lake in the powerful Toyota Tundra, navigating rocky trails in the rugged Tacoma, or exploring Sedona in The all new 4Runner, Toyota's got the muscle and comfort to match your most excellent adventures. Head to your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com today and gear up for summer in a ride that's built for the heat and the adventures. Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[Byron]

Hey Byron, I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over $400,000 thousand products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

Wait, there's no backorders?

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com.

[Brady]

The games that did not make the cut this year. Age of Empires, Angry Birds, call of Duty 4, Modern Warfare. Frogger. Golden Tea.

[John Holmberg]

Frogger's still not in the hall of Fame. Golden Tea.

[Brady]

Golden Tea. Harvest Moon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Mattel Football.

[John Holmberg]

The handheld.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's not in the hall of fame. Of toys. Of digital toys.

[Brady]

Yeah. The NBA 2K. Yeah. Down the sideline.

[John Holmberg]

How in the world is now the green one? The green one was kick. That was dumb. The white one, there was two. There was. The Mattel had the first one which was kind of a beige ish box.

[Brady]

I think the Mattel football is. But it was football too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

[Dick Toledo]

Football too.

[John Holmberg]

There was a green one that came later.

[Dick Toledo]

Second one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that one wasn't as good. They added another dash and you could kick field goals. Oh, there's nothing, nothing better than the breakaway. And then you have to set up at the end and wait for that last dash to drop and go up and. Oh, what a game. Yeah, the green one wasn't any.

[Byron]

So the green one wasn't good?

[John Holmberg]

Well, it was good. It just wasn't as good. It was essentially the same, except they added the kick for no reason. The beige ish one, the one I had, Man, I wore that thing out.

[Byron]

So classic footballer, classic football. Oh, 25 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so good. What a game. How is that not in the hall of Fame? That thing showed up in like 1980. 81. Right?

[Brady]

That was. Let's see, what is the year they had on that one?

[John Holmberg]

I still have mine somewhere.

[Brady]

Oh, I didn't. They didn't put out the name. I think it was before.

[John Holmberg]

Had to tape the bottom of it because.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah, because once you get into.

[John Holmberg]

That, the battery thing popped. The battery screw never ever got better. So I had to tape them.

[Dick Toledo]

They broke the little circle around the screw.

[John Holmberg]

So the 9 volt always had a piece of tape on it.

[Byron]

So it's still intact.

[John Holmberg]

That's still got the screw. That guy wasn't using it, right?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, he wasn't going through enough batteries.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I was blowing through batteries.

[Dick Toledo]

They made a baseball one that actually looked like a baseball field.

[John Holmberg]

I have it.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Classic baseball.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

It's awesome.

[Dick Toledo]

That one was fun.

[John Holmberg]

I have that in my nightstand drawer right now. And it's in the batteries because the pitches would go bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

But when the batteries are.

[Dick Toledo]

And then the fastball.

[Byron]

This one.

[John Holmberg]

That's not the one I had that one.

[Dick Toledo]

That's the one I had.

[John Holmberg]

That's Coleco's version.

[Dick Toledo]

That's the one I had.

[John Holmberg]

Mine was a black one that was made. It was probably off brand. It probably wasn't the good one. It's the one in the middle, the black one. Down, down, left. There it is. That's the one I had.

[Dick Toledo]

No, that's not the one.

[John Holmberg]

And you pulled out a cord and it had all the pitches. The top thing has a little thing you give to another guy and it had a cord.

[Dick Toledo]

What you're describing is the same way on mine was with the pitches. If it was like an off speed pitch, it was slower. Fastball.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's the best. Electronic baseball by some Japanese cunt. What are you really? Nancy Pelosi is a company. I actually had to throw that out because I started laughing. It just was the straight out C word.

[Brady]

You couldn't cover it.

[John Holmberg]

I couldn't cover it because they started laughing. Some Japanese company. But it didn't come out.

[Dick Toledo]

Company.

[John Holmberg]

I just said to see. You're welcome. Internet made by some Japanese. That's essentially what I say. The Internet will enjoy that. Normally I can cover that with a quick ass. Nobody did what I couldn't. I'll have to quickly. But I wasn't wrong. Some Japanese made it. But that one had. Yeah, that had this cool little. And you. It was a retractable cord you stuffed back in the game. And it had all the pitches. So I could give you. And it was like three feet long. I could give you the pitch thing and then I would hold the machine and bat. And then we'd switch every inning and we'd keep score on paper. That was that. I still have it. I might bring that in. Show you how lame games used to be and how much. Hours of fun hours.

[Brady]

I got a couple of pretty videos. The first one is the annual cactus whipping festival. I don't know where looks like. Oh, you'll see.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Remember we had some of those festivals where they're throwing stuff at each other.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Oh, you're getting whipped with a cat, not the other way around.

[Dick Toledo]

Flogging himself with a cat.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I thought all these guys are doing beating up cactuses. This dude's just hitting himself with a cactus. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Next up.

[John Holmberg]

Do we have sound on this at all? Oh, Richard. These guys are just beating the tar to themselves with these cacti. Where in the hell is this? Toledo destination.

[Brady]

You gotta go to that festival.

[John Holmberg]

Where is this?

[Brady]

India.

[Byron]

Oh, it's somewhere you don't want to go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, absolutely not. Based on the amount of jean shorts I wouldn't go, let alone the cactus.

[Brady]

That's required.

[John Holmberg]

Wear jean shorts.

[Brady]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

I think the government just sends them a pair every year. Their backs are all bloody. Oh, my God. And what's the purpose of that? Is that pleasing a God or something?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Celebrate the new pope.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's it. Yeah. Indians love the Pope. Yeah. Yeah. They're. They're big into the monotheist religion. They don't celebrate it with themselves. They like that poly stuff.

[Brady]

But next one's on a playground and the dude in the background is doing the. The just the straight across jungle gym bar. And he releases Tries to do a flip off of it.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, boy. Just in the background, some dude just. Just drops off the jungle gym, bends his spine in half. Oh, my God, man.

[Brady]

All right, that's it.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Brett, what do you got?

[Byron]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Now, I just got a text from somebody that says Sophie Cunningham has announced her relationship status. For those you're interested. And I'm reading it, and having been, you know, palling around with Sophie a little bit, says I don't currently have a boyfriend, but I wouldn't mind a man to take care of me too, you know? Oh, Sophie, Sophie, you are going to have no problem, man.

[Dick Toledo]

Check your DMs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean, why are you having an issue in the first place? Okay, thank you for that texting me that information.

[Byron]

All right, well, got a little start off with a little knife throwinger.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Oh, geez, guys. Just chucking him in his ponytail. He puts a knife in his ponytail and flips his head forward and throws the knife into the block of wood. This is the most amazing knife throwing, man, I've ever seen in my life. You can do it with his hair.

[Dick Toledo]

That's pretty impressive.

[John Holmberg]

That is the best weapon I've ever seen. I need to learn that tactical black. I'm gonna grow out a ponytail. I'm gonna look like a Hare Krishna. Gonna be my knife holster.

[Brady]

That guy's gonna be the next John Wick.

[John Holmberg]

That's incredible.

[Byron]

Ballerina in honor of Mother's Day.

[John Holmberg]

All right, well, for those who remembered it. Oh, kid just kicks a soccer ball in the kitchen and face mom. You know what? That is a full out. She's got a broken nose. She's probably making that little. Probably making that little prick lunch.

[Byron]

Yeah, she's like, I should have.

[John Holmberg]

Right in the kitchen.

[Byron]

Brighton graham crackers.

[John Holmberg]

And all she's thinking is, yeah, soccer ball to my face. You know how close I was to shoving a hanger through yours? And now look, you make me wish I'd done it.

[Byron]

Speaking of being a little mad about Frogger not making the video game, we.

[John Holmberg]

Got a surveillance camera, couple people trying to cross the street. Oh, there's some. Those cars are going, that's a freeway they're gonna try to cross. And it looks like the last of us. It's a small girl and a tall adult, and they're gonna try to run across a freeway. And it is. Time is ticking. And I don't like it at all. Still on the side of the road. All right, we've decided we're gonna start and they're Slowly going. Now they're gonna run a little bit. Frogger, stop.

[Brady]

No way. To the last lane.

[John Holmberg]

Almost made it all the way through, but then didn't at the end.

[Byron]

Almost made it to the logs.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Yeah. You were about to mount the pink frog. Isn't the best part of Frogger is the sex?

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's sex in it. People forget that about frog.

[Dick Toledo]

There was a nice little song when you. When you got on the other.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's just. I think you'll never find. I don't remember the song. I remember when you got on the pink frog and carried her into the little hole, so to speak.

[Byron]

Yeah, you'd say that.

[John Holmberg]

Remember that? Yeah. Because you jump on the pink one and then you'd carry her across maybe an alligator's back. Danger. And then onto a log and then into the little port. I don't remember the song that played when you got on her. I don't think there was one. I think it was just like a little. This frog is awesome.

[Brady]

That should be pink broccoli.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we've got a guy's wiener. That is. It's like a wad of massive amount of chewed gum on the end of his gray penis, which is covered in warts. It's hpv. Untreated is what it says. And I mean, this is untreated. It is. You like. If this was on the bottom of a boat, you'd scrape. It had a massive amount of barnacles across the head of it. And he's not gonna die from that. How does he pee?

[Byron]

I would kill myself, you know, I mean, I'm gonna die.

[John Holmberg]

That can't feel good.

[Byron]

And we'll just end with this.

[John Holmberg]

All right. So sexy Megan Fox off brand Megan Fox with no pants on. And she's got this giant machine of this humongous sex toy that is going in and out of her body that is enormous. And she seems okay with. There's no sound here. I guess that's probably good.

[Dick Toledo]

Doesn't look like that should.

[Byron]

She's got things she's rotating.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's moving around on. It's just this.

[Dick Toledo]

Look at that.

[Byron]

Look at stomach.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, It's a hydraulic pistol. And it's pushing her stomach out. It makes her pregnant and takes it away. Oh, that looks like it hurts. And that's her bottom. That's not. That's not even the. The capable hole. Look how far up. That's hitting the ribs. That's hitting her in the ribs. She's so skinny. Man, is she liking that.

[Dick Toledo]

Isn't that her pain?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. When people do the fake BJ like Brady's saying.

[Dick Toledo]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

And they put their tongue in their cheek. That's only she's doing it with. We had to have the rose. We couldn't just end it there. She had to barf out her own anus. Thank you.

[Byron]

There's the grand finale for you.

[Brady]

That was.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, man. We were all enjoying the technology of. Was that Elon Musk's new Tesla dildo? And then, of course, the thing. Happy Mother's Day. Here's a flower. Thank you, Brad. Yep. There goes your Brady report, everybody. Ah, it's okay until then. I don't need to see those anymore. It's 98k upd.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's not weird.

[Brady]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.

[Mo]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feldman face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com from.

[Dick Toledo]

Monument Valley to Sedona, Horseshoe Bend, Grand Canyon, and more, you might think you've seen all Arizona has to offer. Well, I'd tell you, if you haven't been fishing in Arizona, you haven't seen a thing. It's Dick Toledo from homework's morning sickness. And my first time fishing in Arizona was up in Greer with my friend Jeremy. He was the pro that I'm definitely not. But grabbing a fishing license that weekend was the passport that opened up the whole state to me. And you can get your [e-mail] and discover for yourself a whole new way to take in the Arizona sites.

[Mo]

Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who. Who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming, and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution. Visit uat.edu.mo. and don't just study tech, live it.