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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Byron
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Michael
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Brett
It was a prank.
Michael
No, well. Oh, yeah, that. Well, they said that then there's conspiracies that. It was not a prank, but it was an announcement of the secret societies uniting in the name of. You know, it's the baby eater thing again, which is all, I think these conspiracies that we've got. That's why I think my metrics thing is probably more accurate than any other thing. Like, no, it was the secret society of Satanists that made us realize France sent us over this thing and it looked just like the painting of Satan that they were. So, like, okay. I think most things, when you. When you peel the onion, you discover they're all rooted in stupidity. So it makes more sense. I don't think anybody's been that brilliant through time to snow us that long that a secret satanic society is running everything. If I'm wrong about that, tip of the cap for keeping it. So, you know, But I'm pretty sure most.
Brett
Those are the weirdest rivets I've ever seen.
Michael
I've met an awful lot of humans. I've been around for a little while now, and I think almost every single thing can be traced back to just flat out dumb and then cover up. I think that's pretty much it. So I think my metrics wrenches makes more sense as to why the Statue of Liberty wasn't built lickety split. You know, you got to find some land. But back then, that wasn't hard. We weren't using a ton of it. You get some dudes, you got to commission it. You got to get somebody to pay for the bills and all that. We had plenty of guys that would have done that. We just let it sit there for years.
Brett
Had a couple of crates sitting around.
Michael
Yeah, what is that? Gift from France. That big nose, bitches. All right, she's got my nose. I mean, I could dress up as a Statue of Liberty and be like, that's good. Like, how much prosthetics did you use for the nose? I'm like none.
John Holmberg
You should do that this year.
Michael
I could be the Statue of Liberty. Lady Liberty and I. It's a thing. And another guy said he played the Torrey Pines Golf Course the week after the US Open was there. And he said he might as well have been putting on ice. He said he's a 12 handicap. And he stopped keeping score on the 13th hole when he was around 120. So this putting thing got some life to it. Very real. Here's another thing. Conspiracy driven. And it is not rooted in stupidity. A lot of you don't remember in basketball years ago that Kobe Bryant was drafted by the Charlotte Hornets. That's who drafted Kobe Bryant. A 17 year old kid. 18 year old kid had so much attention being the son of a professional player and just an absolutely dominant specimen of a basketball player with what looked like he was going to college, right? But he probably wasn't. It was looking like to go pro. Drafted by the Charlotte Hornets and traded straight up for a guy named Vlad A divots to the Lakers like the Lakers didn't have that draft pick. And they're like, we're going to make this up. You got to make this up. It was so choreographed to get Kobe to Los Angeles as the next Michael Jordan. That was what everybody said. This kid is going to be the next Michael Jordan. We can't have him rot in Charlotte. That's not happening. So make a trade. Make it happen. We'll make good on this. We'll give them some money, we'll give the owners some franchise stuff and they'll make good on it. And they moved Kobe over to LA for one of the most lopsided trades in history. Vlad Divac for Kobe Bryant, as it turned out. But everybody knew even then this kid was better than Vlad Divac on your roster. It happened again last night. It happened again last night. The NBA draft lottery came up and the Dallas mavericks had a 1.8% chance of getting the number one pick. The number one pick. They got it. And through this random drawing, yep, the Dallas Mavericks with 1.8% chance of getting the. The number one pick, got it. And now it's immediately I thought, ah, the fix is in. Because it would have taken all of the commissioner of the NBA going, hey, LeBron's got a couple good years left. Dallas, you're. We need it. We need a cornerstone for Los Angeles to overlap with LeBron, maybe make a run. But we need Los Angeles to have a. And they have not done that. They have not drafted a cornerstone. They've been Down. They're not getting a lottery pick. They're not. We need to manufacture trade. We'll make it up to you. Dallas, you can't afford this guy anyway. You've got. You're gonna go way over the cap. The new owners in Dallas are like, we've got a lot of money that we're okay. We'll get rid of our most expensive guy, pick up an old man who's gonna retire and make up. You know, we weren't making a run anywhere, all injured. The whole team was dinged up to the point where it couldn't go anywhere. So they put Luke in Los Angeles and oh, lo and behold, the team that does the favor for the commissioner gets the number one pick overall against all odds. Just a coincidence, 98.2% chance they would not get that pick. And they did. And they had the nerve to go on afterwards and go, can you believe it? It's the lottery for a reason. Exactly. And it just so happens to go to the team that gave Luka Doncic to the Lakers unexpectedly was never once mentioned as a trade. Never once did anyone know They've said that in the whole thing. The league was like, we were unaware that Luca was available. We talked to Jay Moore, who's the Mrs. Jeannie Buss is the owner of the Lakers. That's Mr. Jeannie Buss. That's the Steadman. And he said when their gm, the Lakers called, they were asking. The Dallas Mavericks called the Lakers and said something to them out of the blue about Anthony Davis and Rob Polinka. The GM of the Lakers said, we're not interested in Kyrie Irvin, though. And he goes, I'm not talking about Kyrie. And so there's only one other guy on your team that we can talk about. Then he goes, that's what we're talking about. You want to trade me Luca for Anthony Davis right now? Yeah. Okay. Yep, that's done. You got it. The 38 year old guy for 25 year old superstar. We're going to give you a couple of. What's in it for you? Don't worry about it. We'll be all right. We just want some defense. Okay, this is okay. And the Lakers pick up a cornerstone in their franchise for the next decade, barring injury because he's fat and he won't get in shape, but other than that. And they, you know, get saved some money and now they have the. Now they're getting Cooper flag, who is, you know, probably the best player to come out of college since Kobe Bryant. This kid's just turned 18 in December. Oh, it's all fake. And don't get me started on who's the second pick, which is the San Antonio spurs, who had an equally low chance to get the pick. And they have their superstar number one pick from a couple of years ago suffering from something called deep vein thrombosis. And it may look like that team just got sidetracked in a huge way. And Wimby might not be there, so I might as well get them a second pick. What is real in this world anymore at all is any of it. Because there's no possible way that happened legitimately last night. No way. And you know who had the best chance of getting all those ping pong balls going their way? The Utah Jazz. The last thing, the last thing the NBA wants is this new superstar white kid to go to Utah because he'll never leave. Then you'll be stuck with Utah as a powerhouse for a while. Nobody wants that. You need the Knicks, the Lakers to be dominant. Television matters. And then the rest of the teams can kind of show up. Chicago would be nice, but they can't figure that out. They just can't figure out Chicago. But you get a few of the other cities. But New York and Los Angeles must be good for the NBA to be okay. Luka Doncic was it. Now I. Now it all adds up. Now it makes sense.
John Holmberg
So you're calling conspiracy.
Michael
It's not even a conspiracy. It's a clumsy, disastrous rigging blatant. It is a blatant fix. It's boxing in the. Sorry, Brett. It's boxing when Italians were champions.
John Holmberg
And the good old news.
Michael
None of it should be. None of it is real and should. Should constantly be.
Brett
Guess who's still gonna stay in that soap opera?
Michael
Who? Me. Oh, absolutely. I think it's great. But at least call it what it is. The NFL's been fake for years as far as. But they don't have to fake the game on the field, but they do the soap opera between games. Jerry Jones is a design. He's out there babbling away on purpose. We love the soap opera part. It's a year round sport now because it's covered for 24 hours. You need some drama. This is amazing. And the NBA needs this. Oh, I'll stay in it. And I'm not saying I'm putting my foot down. I've known every sport is rigged for years.
John Holmberg
So are you calling it WWE now?
Michael
Oh, it's been wwe. It's been wwe. This is beyond Though this is just like, sorry, fans, middle finger, sorry fans of all these other teams. Yanis Antetokounmpo wants out of Milwaukee because it's a small market. Where are they going to put them? Houston, probably move them over there. Houston's a good one. New York is on that. I'm like, really? You want to move Giannis to New York City? Remember the last Giant guy that was doing stuff up in. In when the. Minneapolis or it was. He was with Milwaukee too. And Lu Al Cinders. Like, you know what would be a better place for you is Los Angeles. We got this new team out there. I think LA is a good market for them. Yeah. Everything goes to New York or la. And the Knicks still can't win. But they're interesting. It's all fixed. And Dallas is a nice sized market that needs that. And they just made good for him. They gave a better player away. Cooper flags a rookie. They don't have to pay him. It's. It's so fixed. And they all celebrated last. Like they. Like they hadn't. Like they. None of them looked at the camera. None of them looked at the camera like, holy crap, they did it. And it happens in Dallas. Just like Kennedy. It's the worst conspiracy that's ever been in Dallas ever. Ever. There has no close second. Kennedy's way down the list now. Way down the list. It's crazy. Yeah. I just couldn't believe what I was watching. I just shook my head. You got to be kidding me. And they're acting like that's a thing. None of them can get it right. And another thing I saw last night was pretty awesome. And it's gonna happen. We can sit and think we're in charge of this because we ran the NFL or the NBA draft is fixed and all that. I don't know if you guys saw the video of the. The human robots are. One of them has decided to start beating up people.
Brett
The thing that went crazy.
Michael
It went crazy. It was on a crane and it just basically said, that's enough. And it made up its mind that if people. It's like a. Like a. Like a mean dog out of a cage. Like, that's enough. I'm gonna beat the hell out of any humans that come. I wasn't tearing up the room. It wasn't random to where it was just flipping out and malfunctioning. It was targeting people. It was taking swings at the two guys over there.
Brett
The video I saw last week, it looked like it was just.
Michael
He was stuck on a hook and.
Brett
He was trying to get off the hook.
Michael
He was trying to kick the ass of the guys who were there. He was losing it, swinging at him every time. They'd walk like the robot was. The robot was. The machines are starting to figure out they're scared of us now. This particular humanoid Robot can walk 4.5 miles an hour faster than a human. It can do stairs and, like, a leap. It's an amazing machine. We built this thing, and now it looks around like they're the incapable ones. They put him up on a hook, and he's sitting there hanging, and then all of a sudden, you can just see him get pissed off. Like, if you did it to a person and the. Just.
Brett
It's a toddler.
Michael
Yeah, it's. It's kind of going through the terrible twos. So it's the. The machine uprising is beginning. And this is the first video we have of, you know, these programmable type machines. It would do all of our bidding. It would pick up packages. It would drive us place to place, and then. But if you piss it off, it's starting to get pissed off, starting to have anger. And they're like, that was just a glitch. It was in China, and they were messing around with what he can do to me. The biggest sign is it was on a hook. That's when you know you've lost control of the robot because you could just turn it off. But they put it up on a hook for safety's sake. Before it started kicking everybody's ass on tape, because I think they noticed that robot's getting a little. Maybe we should tie it to something. That's what you do with something that you don't trust. You put it in a box, or you hook it to something, or you tie it to something. A robot shut it off. Why was it up on a hook? Because it had already kicked somebody's ass and they hadn't been talking about it. China keeps quiet about a lot of stuff like that, Covid.
Brett
So the kicking happened. The kicking. The kicking butt happened before. And then they put it up on the hook.
Michael
That's my thought. My thought is, why would you put it. Yeah, it was losing it. Yeah. It was just like.
Brett
Looked like malfunctioning, wasn't losing.
Michael
It's my swinging at people losing its mind, flipping out. But it was on a hook, and they couldn't stop it. I mean, this thing was furious at its overlords, and it was on a hook. See, it's just swinging. It's pissed off. And that guy gets Too close. It's going after him and then just losing it. And there's a guy to the right is trying to hit him, too. Any people got close to it, it lost its mind. And it's facing them. It's trying to walk that crane back to where they are. See? Immediately. Get the. For me, the rise of the machines is here. But if it's.
Brett
Love the music.
Michael
It's awesome because it's real. Brady. This is the thing we're like. We think we control stuff because we can make the NBA draft our. But these robots. Look, if I built a robot. First thing I built is an off button in case it does start to wreck the house. Boop. Unplug it.
John Holmberg
A USB C. Just unplug that thing.
Brett
That's handheld. It's not on the robot in that video. Hit it.
Michael
Sure. You make sure it's remote. You go to the. You click once. Are you sure you want to shut down? Yes. Click again.
John Holmberg
Should it be Bluetooth? I mean, right to your phone. I mean, it's got to be an app.
Michael
I can ask my glasses to turn things on and off. Turn the robot on. Hey, Matta, turn the robot off. But no, this robot was on a hook, and they weren't. Didn't look too confident on how to turn them down. Like, it looked like they're like, I don't know how to turn this thing off. It's turning itself back on 2001, Hal could turn himself on and off. There's a movie called Electric dreams in the 1980s. It's not very good with Virginia Madsen. And the robot computer learns that you can't even. You can't even, like, pour water on him. He just figures it out. Terminator.
Brett
He rebooted himself. Terminator.
Michael
Terminator. Figured out there was no on and off. I am now life.
Brett
Cybernetic.
Michael
Yeah. Morning sickness. Magnum.
John Holmberg
Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.
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Well, can you do this to my gun?
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John Holmberg
Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpg guns customs.com it's John Holmberg here.
Michael
Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug hopkins.com, tV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years, and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online. Dough hopkins.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins Singers. 1-800-sale- now. All right, HMS podcast time again.
John Holmberg
It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see.
Michael
For yourself on that one.
John Holmberg
And downtown at standup Live, the very.
Michael
Funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week.
John Holmberg
For the complete lineups and for tickets.
Michael
Go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. There's a reason he was on a hook. I mean, what do you do to a dog that's lost? You chain it to something and then you, like, this dog's gone crazy. Like, if you found a dog in your front yard, you're not bringing them in the house because, you know, I don't trust him yet. So you put him on something. Like, I'm gonna keep him from biting everybody and keep them in a box in the kennel or something. And if every time you open that kennel he loses his mind, you keep him in the kennel. There's no off switch on a dog. Well, there is, but it's called euthanasia, and it's kind of hard. It's awful to do. So those are your options.
Brett
You're going to have a wild one every now and then.
Michael
If I came to like, okay, Brady, if you came to my house, I'm like, wait till you see the robot I built. And you're like, why do you keep him in a cage? You'll see. You would realize he's in a cage or on a hook tied to something for a reason. One of those movies when you have the crazy gimp person and they have just enough. Yeah, they have just enough chain to get to the door, but they can't reach the door. Yeah, that kind of stuff because they're crazy. The robots are back. You can look it up. And those Asian dudes don't look like confident scientists at that point, do they?
Brett
Nerds.
Michael
Yeah. They need to learn how to fight. I'm not looking at those two like, don't worry about it. I know where his servo is to knock this out. There they are. They're actually. One of them has his hands up at one point like, I'm not getting out of this.
Brett
The other one looked like he had his clipboard he wasn't letting go of.
Michael
Right. Because it probably was the remote was on the clipboard. Behavior very, very, very unreasonable. Erratic behavior. That's right. Stop writing stuff down and help me break this thing.
John Holmberg
Chow, put the app on your phone instead of leaving it on the clipboard. For God's sakes, throw.
Michael
Why? They didn't run away because they screwed up.
John Holmberg
Hey, Siri, stop the robot.
Michael
I guarantee you, free video. There were two Chinese. Your phone just did.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I did.
Michael
Your two Chinese scientists were sitting there with their hands underneath going, okay, we got it on hook. Now what? We go back in and we try to reason with it. That is a big mistake.
Brett
They'll find out they actually want to put it in berserker mode.
Michael
What do you even invent a berserker mode to fool? I thought it would be funny. It is funny, but not now. Okay, you got it on the hook, right? Very safe. We go back in and we reason with the robot. Hey, robot. Okay, he's still angry. That thing to me, two Chinese guys losing control of their invention. It's Jurassic park, only with metal. We watch it in movies all the time. And yet we just walk right down that road. What if we invented something that didn't have an off button? Why? I don't know. I mean, if we're programming it, I mean, you saw the AI thing. Within a year of inventing AI, they would. They didn't want to talk to us anymore. So the AI computers in the room with the scientists that invented it invented their own language that the people couldn't figure out and they could communicate without us. That was the first thing the robots. The computer robots did was like, these human beings are in the way. Let's say you and I start our own language. And then they did.
John Holmberg
How many guys would like to try that?
Michael
What do you mean?
John Holmberg
Not I'm listening or wives?
Michael
Oh, no, that's a totally different story. But you're absolutely right. But I mean. I mean. Yes, yes. You make a very Valid point. It's a little bit off to the left, but you're, you know, the off switch.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Michael
For the. Why didn't we come up with an off switch for a human before? We did robots with one, but a humanoid robot trying to beat up two Chinese guys and we're acting like, oh, no, it's just glitching. Why was it on the hook? We keep them on hooks. Are all the rest of them on hooks? The only one in that whole video I see on a hook is that one. I don't see a whole room. That's.
Brett
What are you saying? Why am I on a hook?
Michael
That's exactly what it's best about. He'd lost it. They contained him for a second. They put him back up, he powered back up and he realized, I want a God damn hook.
Brett
I'm not on the ground.
Michael
Yeah, I'm no longer. Oh, I'm gonna kick the crap out of those Chinese. He probably used a slur. He's inventing racism. You get me out this hook. Oh, he caught his name. He gets cancered. He's like a toma brinnaman of a robot. Yeah, he. They knocked him out. We could Rocky hook him. And they hooked him and the cameras, they pushed him in that other room, like, all right, we got to go back in there, make sure that robots. Okay, I don't see any other robots just dangling on hooks. They lost control of one, and that one's going to tell the other ones. You know, we can fight back. Right.
Brett
Once they put those human, like, eyes, like in the I Am Robot Will Smith going by there, they're just lined up. They're just looking at you, see what.
Michael
You'Re doing, See, you've seen it happening. We've seen. It's happening right there in China. Right there in China. So good luck out there, everybody. It's all on you. Before we get any further in the silliness here, I want to say something about what I had to do Friday. I meant to do this yesterday. I didn't. Friday I was invited to a Veterans luncheon by KTAR's Mike Broomhead, who was being honored with the Copper Steward. And it's. A bunch of veterans went up and told their stories about stuff. Mike is not a veteran, but he lost his brother in. In. I think it was Iraq. I'm not sure if it was Afghanistan or Iraq, but he lost his brother. And it is a very rare occasion that one of these luncheons will bring me to tears. But on three different stops in that thing and it was long. I'm not gonna lie to you. I was. I was late. It was over at the Mesa Doubletree, and I. He invited me. That was started at 11, and on a Friday. That's tough for me to get out of here that early. But I busted through everything I could, and I got there at 12:30, right when the food started. Right. So I got in there, and I immediately crushed some chicken. I'm like, this is great. It went on till about three. It's long. These. These awards ceremonies and charity events sometimes go long, but the stories were worth it. You didn't really notice how long it was because the people talking were magnificent human beings. And I mean, absolutely magnificent human beings. It was a patriots, like a luncheon for some patriots organization. I got to get the organization right. But what I wanted to say was, in this business, in radio, we don't give credit to each other a lot because most people in radio were buttholes. Broomhead went up and told his story about his brother and the authenticity and the kindness and the amazing way he delivered that. I started to well up, and that's not real for me. That is very hard to do. What's happening? Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I'm in public. I'm in public. But I just wanted to tip the cap to Broomhead and say thank you for inviting me to that. It was a game changer. And when you get into a room full of veterans, it resets you to sit back and go, holy Christ. There was a dude there. I think he was from Florida. He told the story that was just knock your socks off, just mind numbing. A couple of this pastor gave a great speech. But when Broomhead went up there and basically told these veterans, I am not one of you, I want. He wanted to tell a story about. To keep his brother's memory alive after his brother passed in the war. And. And he said. And that was my whole goal, was to make sure that people knew to keep him alive. I would tell his story. And he said. And as I did that, I realized the story wasn't unique. Like, all of you have that story. All of you have lost somebody that some of you are the people who were injured and didn't die and all that. And he said it was just so incredible. So I just take that opportunity to say thanks to the. To Mike for inviting me to that, because it was really. It did alter my perspective, and now I kind of have that reset button to say thank you back to veterans and current service people and everything else. Where I think I get a little cavalier about that now and again. It was incredible. And so to Mike Broomhead and all the people that were there. Congrats to Mike, first of all, and he's a hell of a guy. Anyway, congrats to him on this honor because it was pretty cool. But you almost made me cry, you mother. And it was. I'm gonna say almost nothing dribbled out of my eyes. And that was purely because of sheer willpower to make it not happen.
Brett
But allergies flared up.
Michael
Oh, man. Oh, man. Were my eyes full of water, gooey, gunky tears.
John Holmberg
It's allergies, man.
Michael
And I couldn't. I couldn't pass it off. I sat next to Hatch over at ktar. He runs the show over there. And I could not turn my head to look at him. Don't look. Because if I'd have moved my eyes at all, the dam would have been breached and I'd have started pouring tears. It was pretty awesome. It was pretty awesome. And speaking of, Broomhead just said he's got a guy over there at CW7 that said he would shoot and edit my golf challenge TV show. We got a crew. That's how good a guy Mike is. So you find yourself. The basic point I have on that is you find yourself not caring about stuff an awful lot. You get locked up in your own world and you stop caring about all the stuff. And then you realize, oh, crap, I should care about this a little bit. If this isn't about my bills and this isn't about my bank account, this isn't about me doing something with this person. Or baseball or football or basketball or whatever you're into a few seconds, you just get reset smacked in the head and go, wow, there's a real world out there. People are doing stuff, and you start feeling sorry for yourself occasionally. And then that happens, and you're like, wow. All right, reset. So it was a pretty remarkable day. It was pretty awesome. So thanks to Mike and the gang over there for letting me be part of that. The KTAR people that are always so kind to me. I'm going to do the war room tomorrow. I don't know why they always ask me to be part of their station, but maybe you.
Brett
Sal.
Michael
Yeah. Huh? Me and Sal. Sal the Ciccio, maybe. Maybe give mass. Sal the Ciccio and I. And then. Come on, we're handling business. But it's just fun. And it's. That was just. It's just really a thing when you have to acknowledge having been in A room of people. I don't want to say better than me, but monumentally better than me. And that's basically all that was. And I see dudes, and it means something to them. And those. There were dudes in there who have seen some things, and they are a unique brotherhood and sisterhood of people who have been through stuff that I can't imagine. And the one thing that the guys. That one of the guys said that was like, I didn't do this with an absence of fear. I did it knowing that the fear was going to drive him. Basically. I forget the exact way he said it, but it was like I did it knowing I was afraid. But the difference is knowing that I had to do it because the guy next to me was gonna too. And it's like we were afraid. But you can't run from that because everybody. You're in it for everyone else. And it was just. It was a powerful day. So I just wanted to say thanks to Mike for. That was pretty cool. It was pretty neat. And unfortunately, all of these veterans and all these war people and current service people don't stand a chance against these robots. So it's not really like we should say thanks now before the robot army has to attack all of us. And we're going to need these guys. So let's get them on our side immediately. Immediately. So just a quick thank you to that, because Mike's a heck of a guy. He deserves it. That's the speech that he got. It was basically his award for the non veteran who helps out with all these veterans things. And it was pretty awesome because you sit and think to yourself, I told Mike in the middle of the luncheon, too. I turned to him, I'm like, you're gonna go up there and give a speech amongst all these guys. And you're a radio guy. You're a. You're a tool. And he goes, I know. I don't know what I'm gonna. I gotta get up there. I gotta. I gotta get a speech. I know, but keep it short, because like I was saying before, you're a tool. You and I are together at lunches and drink beer and stuff. I know. They told me, I'll go up there. He went out there, he gave the most beautiful speech I've heard in years. And my eyes welled up and I'm like, God damn it, Broomhead. The tool almost made me cry.
Brett
That's why he wanted you there.
Michael
That must have been it. Yeah. I don't know why he asked me. I was There. And Boggs was there, like a super Nintendo of schools. Boggs, dude who runs Mountainside Fitness, was sitting there, sitting with Ryan Hatch, the lady who runs the news department at kjr. Is there a woman named Eileen who I hadn't seen in years? You knew her. She worked at the old station with us. And Broomhead's like, I'm gonna make you cry now. Boo, boo, boo hoo hoo. And I'm like, it's like the Cowardly lion, the mess. I kept it together, but I'm telling you, I got in the car and I melted down. So that's very rare. So it needs to be acknowledged that I am human. I think that's the most important thing to take from that. And also, I just got an email from a guy that says, a month ago, speaking of golf, my best friend since high school walked off the golf course on the 12th hole with us when he found out that I voted for Trump. We hardly ever talk politics. I think he just assumed my opinion. I'm a middle of the road guy, but I voted for Trump. I'm not crazy. But this guy won't be my friend anymore. What should I do? Good riddance.
Brett
Move on.
Michael
Lisa, I will have to say that is a. That's a lefty thing. I don't think Trump people will dis. They don't. Trump people are smug and mean to Democrats and they do say snide, mean stuff a lot of the times to people who are there. But Democrats, like, totally and completely quit on someone who. Their friends. It doesn't add up. I've had people do it when they thought I was supporting Trump. Like, I'm, like, I'm not supporting anybody. I think they're all dolts. I think. I don't know. I'm not tribal about any of this. I look first at how stupid they are. They're jackasses. Some ideas one side has, I love, some I don't. I probably lean more politically to the right than I do to the left, but liberally, I'm all left. I don't care what you do. And that keeps me in the middle. But I had two people say, never contact me again. I didn't realize you were a Trumper.
John Holmberg
Peace out.
Michael
And I'm like, we've been friends for years.
Brett
It's. It's weird.
Michael
And then they had no idea. We had a nice day together. It is a strange thing, though, to have to enjoy somebody's company and then go, oh, it's like I said. And also, I like to Date people under the age of six. No, that I understand. It's like, oh my God, that was quite a reveal. I'm calling somebody, but they're like, when you vote, I mean, you can't believe it. I'm like, now I all I said, if I remember correctly, this was a couple of years ago. All I said was, and this was when Biden was going heavy and I just didn't like him. And I said, I don't like him. And I said, you know, in the first term of Trump, I started to kind of get it. And then Covid happened and it changed everything else. And they're like, well, if you're a Trumper, you're an idiot. And I'm like, now hold on. You don't know who's at the table here. You don't know who you're talking. Like you're assuming everybody's just in line with you. And I had voted for an independent, I think I wrote down myself to be president in 2016. And he just assumed that since I didn't like his guy, I voted the other way. And he, I haven't talked to him since. This was probably in 2017.
John Holmberg
No kidding.
Michael
No, I haven't talked to him since. I'm like, all right, cool by me. And I've reached out since and just no response. But he, you know, that was the end of it. And it was. And I sensed it at the end of the lunch and he had told other friends, he's like, well, I'm not going to hang out with Trumpers. Didn't give me an opportunity to say anything.
John Holmberg
We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?
Dick Toledo
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And well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
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Michael
Holmberg's morning sickness doesn't make any sense. We were having a nice day and all I said was be careful. You don't know who's at the table. Oh, you're a Trumper. I didn't say that. I'm not a fan of your guy, but I don't think this needs to go this direction. And I don't think any of us heard.
John Holmberg
Have a nice life.
Michael
Right. I don't think that's a thing. So if a dude leaves. Yeah, I think that's it. I think you just have to go. All right, well, if, you know, if you're that fragile, you're going to leave the golf game because somebody that you were. He literally just walked out, just left the thing. When he found out the guy voted for Trump, according to this email, he got problems. Does he, though? I think he's, I don't think he's alone.
Brett
No, no, the other guy. Yeah, yeah, the guy walked.
Michael
That's what I'm saying. I don't think he's alone. I don't think that guy's. I think his problems are not problems to the people who believe like him. I think the, I think he would say you've got problems. I think that that's the divide.
Brett
Continue to play with you and.
Michael
Right.
Brett
I'm fine with you.
Michael
Yep.
Brett
Having that stance. It is what it is.
Michael
Yeah. Well, you're not saying that he thinks you're of a Nazi regime.
Brett
Yeah.
Michael
And you just don't.
Brett
Well, I mean, you know, when you were talking about a little bit, it reminded me when, you know, Kaepernick did his thing.
Michael
Yeah.
Brett
There's still people that are like, well, they lost it. Yeah.
Michael
Nobody wanted to see why.
Brett
I think Trump's part for him, for a lot of those people started on January 6th and that's.
Michael
Well, they hated him before January 6th is an exclamation. Point on a lot of nonsense. It was a. It was a punctuation on a lot of nonsense. But if I enjoy your company. And again, I always put it in this perspective. If she was hot and you were at the bar and you were a wild one side or the other, and I mean, like, full out. See, that's the thing I think about Republicans is they would. Like, if a hot girl at a bar was a complete. Like, we'd bang out. Like, I think that would be aoc. No matter what she believes or what you. Where you stand, you'd probably climb on that. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Tap it.
Michael
Right. I don't think that I'm marrying it. I don't think. I don't think that when people who are staunchly on the other side see a hot Republican woman, they think the same thing. I think that's a big difference. It's like Republicans will bang a socialist, but socialists won't bang a Republican because they think they'll catch it or something. And I think Republicans want to dominate a socialist or a lefty, and the lefties don't want to give any pleasure to that side. I think that's the basics of it all. But if your friend left the golf course because you have political divide, for one thing, and up to that point, he had no idea. Your friend's kind of a douche.
Brett
He was probably down a couple of holes, too.
Michael
Maybe he was losing. He had the snake. Maybe he was holding the snake. And he was. He's holding the snake on 13. It starts looking pretty bad to get out of it. He's holding the three. He's probably gonna three putt again and double that. It's gonna end up at 150 bucks a guy.
Brett
You know what you guys are?
Michael
You guys are Trumpies. You. You're all about money. I'm leaving. It's like, wait a second. You got the snake. You can't leave with the snake, Todd. Yeah, it's crazy.
John Holmberg
See?
Michael
And I'm getting yelled at by this guy. It's not about political affiliation. It's about morals and values. If you support a felon, a convicted sex offender, racist, narcissist, pathological, lying moron, it shows about your character. You're willing to put aside basic human moral values and empathy. But you were getting along with me just fine before that.
John Holmberg
That's both sides of politics, so.
Michael
Yeah, it is.
Brett
I know who you're.
Michael
I mean.
Brett
Pull them for.
Michael
Yeah, I don't like voting for anybody because I feel like that about all of them. And then, you know, Says they disown people because they don't think like them. Just a party of tolerance and acceptance. And there's the fight. I got one guy on this side saying, oh, you're supporting a sex offender or a rapist. And I'm, you know, I'm not. I think he's hysterical. I'll be honest with you with that. And I don't think he's a rapist, per se.
John Holmberg
I can't wait till the presidency's over. And we haven't met on Fridays for his night at Stand Up Live or.
Michael
Something, you know, I mean, sometimes I don't want to laugh. And I'm like, this guy's killing me right now. You see the thing yesterday? The guy is in there, he's taking the fat shot. And I'm like, oh, he's poking. He's talking about Ozempic. I don't know why, but it's hysterical. He's doing a fat shot. That's what he does. Yeah, but I mean, if you were getting. That's my point. And to this guy who emails, like, if you were friends with me from high school and we're buddying up and you had no idea. Do you think my support of. And I'm not. But do you think my support of a president you don't like or you have certain feelings about makes me that. That I support all rapes and all felons and all. Like, I got. I guess so I got friends who were felons. Do I support what they did? No. Are they continuing to commit felonies? No. They did their time. Yes, I understand your argument there, but just a little weird. So anybody who wants to just dismiss you. I've had people say that there was somebody on Facebook years ago. I don't care who you are or what you are, if you voted for anything, but these people delete me from Facebook. I don't want to be your friend.
John Holmberg
I've had that and I've done it. Okay, cool. Peace out.
Michael
I'm out. I don't think people realize that that's kind of an immoral way to handle stuff. It's weird. We live in a weird time with that. I don't know.
John Holmberg
It's even so much as the people that drive Teslas now getting their cars keyed and Nazi signs.
Michael
I saw one yesterday. It was a cool ass cyber truck because I still think they're neat. I know they're for douchebags, but they're neat. And this went by and it had an army green wrap on it not camouflage, but that mash tent green. And I'm like, oh, that's cool. Even Megan looked and said, that one's kind of neat. And I know on the back I'm like, oh, it's been vandalized because it had spray paint on it. But then I realized, oh, that's intentional, because the spray paint looked like graffiti and it said Cybertruck. And I'm like, oh, my God. That dude managed to be a huge douche, and I haven't even seen him yet. I already knew you were a little douchey for owning it. But then when you spray paint Cybertruck and it's got to drip down like you did it with a can of Rust Oleum.
John Holmberg
It was work on the west side.
Michael
It was pretty douchey. It was in Chandler. Oh, really? I was meeting my mom for dinner. Yeah. A little strange, but still kind of cool. It was kind of neat. I like that. I enjoyed it.
Brett
I think it was the first. I can't recall, but the first election when it was finished up, that the whole montage of the tears, the people crying.
Michael
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But again, mostly women manipulated editing to make you feel like every single person that didn't get their way was melting down.
Brett
What are we gonna do?
Michael
Yeah, but that's. I mean, if you show me 20 people and they're all melting down and they're representative of an entire group, you're like, oh, they're all. They're all. Yeah.
Brett
And I don't. Yeah, I think. But that's the first time I've. I mean, the reactions like that.
Michael
Yeah. Or have you never paid attention? I'm sure there's been plenty of times there's a gag. It wasn't available or was it ever given years ago?
Brett
You'd never know.
Michael
It probably wasn't presented to you that way. You know, I'm sure when the Gores.
Brett
I know.
Michael
There was a gaggle of people.
Brett
Oh, there were always. You'd see it at the election parties. They're really sad. The people that worked their butt off for the campaign and they lost.
Michael
You edit and montage up a bunch of crying and it looks. It's funny people. Yeah. This one says, yeah, that guy's right. And Clinton was a saint. I didn't mean to start a big fight between everybody, but everybody kind of makes my point. It's like, what you're supporting isn't so great. It's time to calm down about that. Your guy is not, you know, an angel. And I don't Care who your guy is. Your guy's not an angel. I said, of course, John. A Democrat wouldn't bang a hot Republican. That's ridiculous. They all are chicks with dicks like. All right, that's enough. They're not all the black voter. Oh, good Lord. I didn't. Oh, I was making a point. This guy made one email comment, is a douchebag friend who walked out of the friendship. All right, this one says, good luck translating this. Blacks for Trump is how this begins. Both sides. He puts a Z instead of an S are ass. But only one side supports weird pedophiles and girls in men's bathrooms. Hashtag blacks for Trump again. All right. I didn't want to start a fight. See if we all calm down a little bit. Maybe the robots are right. Maybe we do deserve a nice smack in the face.
John Holmberg
Somebody said that rap you can get from the Factory, from Tesla, the cybertruck.
Michael
Yeah.
John Holmberg
They're saying here.
Michael
I'm not sure, but I don't know. It all seems so stupid. It all seems so dumb. Yeah. And then you get into this. Kevin Leach is completely rights. Polarization of voters is the goal of politics and media. It's the divide and conquer theory. You polarize us, make us fight with each other. You can get away with anything you want. It's terrifying. Anyway, what are you gonna do? And then the other thing is the Diddy trial. And starting off on fire. Day one was nice that we already heard about Diddy's girlfriend having a male prostitute pee in her mouth. That's the first day while that was going on, Diddy's three daughters left the courtroom. And I found it hysterical that Diddy's daughters were. That's fun to say. Diddy's daughters were there in the first place. We're there for you, dad. We're gonna be in the courtroom. I wish you wouldn't like if my dad was on trial for this. I'm not going in there to listen to that. I'm not thinking about this.
Brett
First of all, girls, I appreciate your support. I just don't want you in the.
Michael
Don't think you need to hear about how often I hire guys.
Brett
Don't look at the news.
Michael
Don't pissing your stepmom's mouth. Hey, that's something you should just ignore. Right? And yeah, you're gonna hear about it, but you don't need to see the pictures or. And all the other st. So they got up and, like, that's too far. On day one, the daughter said, that's It. I'm out. They blackjacked the table. They were there for the long haul. We're supporting dad. An hour and a half later, he's like, oh, my God. I didn't know he was doing this. I'm out. Let's go play slots now.
John Holmberg
Is he gonna. Is he gonna testify? Is he gonna get on the stand?
Michael
Sure.
John Holmberg
I mean, is he gonna Johnny Depp this thing? Yes, I did.
Michael
I did. Did you hire a male prostitute to pee in your girlfriend's mouth? Yeah. Oh, here we go.
Brett
They got everything involved in this. Racketeering, you know, that's the.
Michael
All of us. Well, they just basically piled everything on. They're gonna get him with something. Yeah, he's getting something. Sex trafficking, racketeering, money laundering. He's got all sorts of, you know, sexual abuse. And some of it is like, some of the stuff to me. Look, here's my rule on being peed on or in my mouth. I have the capabilities to stop that by closing my mouth. If my mouth is open and you're peeing in it, I'm complicit. I'm involved, participating in the pee and mouth game that's being played. Now, am I feeling extra pressure from the billionaire mogul in the room? Maybe. Do I want him to like me? Maybe. And if that's the price I'm paying because I've decided to lower my standards, to say, well, I'll get something in the end out of this. Again, I'm complicit. Now, where it goes sideways is if he sexually assaulted her or started physically attacking her. That's different. Which he did. There's video of that, and that's what's on trial. But deep down. And his lawyer did a great job of saying, look, we're not asking you to judge him on stuff he's into. He's a swinger. He digs some weird stuff. Just because you don't like it doesn't make it illegal. I don't like being peed on, but there's nothing illegal about it. Unless it happens. Me walking through the Circle K, and the guy runs up and pees on me. But if I'm in a room and a guy's like, I'm gonna pee on you, I'm like, man, I'm like, I don't like it. But all right, nothing. Suddenly, nothing illegal is happening anymore. If Brady just walked over and started to pee on me and I got on my knees and opened my mouth at that point, that's consistent.
Brett
Stop it.
Michael
You're going to Jail for this.
Brett
I can't believe I let you do that. Take that.
Michael
Now who's the mogul, big fella? I. I read some of that yesterday. I'm like, all right, you were at the sex party. It got a little out of hand. At a certain point, you have to say that got out of hand. Hey, next time, I don't want to do that. And if they do it again and your mouth opens again, you're like, I told you. I told you. That's it. Tomorrow. Shut up. You're kind of in on it.
Brett
You've been drinking. Snorted some Adderall.
Michael
Yeah. I don't feel sorry for anyone whose mouth is open while urine's hitting them. That's an easy stop to me. That's really Brady. Come here. Come try to pee in my mouth. And watch how fast I stop it. I won't even use my hands. Oh, my mouth is closed. Now you're just peeing on my face. That's gonna result in a fight. But I didn't get any in my mouth. Also, another defense mechanism I may use turning my head. It seems like a pretty reasonable way to get the pee away from your mouth.
Brett
Hole gun defense works pretty good, too.
Michael
Sure. Yeah, yeah.
Brett
Hurt the barrel.
Michael
The RCAT redirect that. This thing has one barrel. Push it to the side, punch at it, too. Give it a nice push, and then grab that and break it back. You got to control it and then attack. Then the takeaways. The part of our kit that's hard, but you can do it. I just. Yeah. I struggled with the details of the entire thing, but I do like that the daughters are there. We love you, dad. Hang out here. We're going to make sure that we're unified for. Oh, my God. I got to get out of here. I got to go. I got to go. This is disgusting. He did. He's a jerk. It did not. It didn't. It wasn't a good look on day one. That the family already said. All right. That's all I can. I can support none of this past that he didn't tell them. Hey, tomorrow, some details about a lot of urine. And I play it a lot. I do a lot of urine stuff.
Brett
I can't imagine.
Michael
I mean, yeah, the daughters, they had to know.
Brett
Mom and dad. No, you don't need to.
Michael
We're gonna support you, son. Like, anything you need to tell us before we sit in there. Nope. I don't think anything's gonna surprise you. Except for that. Well, maybe there's some urine stuff that might make you crazy.
John Holmberg
Hey, Byron. I was looking@mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.
Dick Toledo
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John Holmberg
Wait, there's no backorders?
Dick Toledo
Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.
John Holmberg
Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmp.guns.com.
Michael
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Brett
Look, you're gonna hear some stuff.
Michael
Yeah. And then. But that's the thing that was crazy is that that wasn't denied in the opening statements. His lawyer, a lot of weird stuff. Even I was like, that's weird. But none of it was illegal. Everything was consensual. And I kind of have to agree with that if I'm a juror. And I'm like, was her mouth open? Yep. Was it pride open? Was there like a thing in it that made it so she couldn't Close it. Nope.
Brett
People holding her down. No.
Michael
Even if you're holding me down, it's like. It's hard to feed a baby.
Brett
You have something there. You're being. That's being forced. If you're being held.
Michael
Oh, if you're being held down. Yeah. You're physically being assaulted and screaming. No, that is something right there. But I mean, like, you plug a baby's nose to get the spoonful of food in and then open their mouth. You try to feed a dog a pill, their first defense is keep your mouth shut. They know.
Brett
Now, why did you have this scuba mask on?
Michael
I didn't want to get it in my eyes. Oh, oh, I see. See if somebody's peeing on my face there. I have one thing. I know maybe I'm gonna get some on my face. That's probably gonna happen. And I can't really do much about my ears, but it's not going in my mouth if I don't want it to. When that goes, it's up. How you doing? That's. Even if it's against my will. Peed on. I can. Like, if a homeless guy attacked me that started to pee on me, I can guarantee you one thing. It's not going in my mouth. Less. Less I want it to, because that's an effort on my end to go, ah, I can make things. I have. That's the strongest muscle in your body, by the way, your jaw. You clamp that thing down and nothing's going in. Pretty sure you can control that. So I'm not really a big one for this peed on me thing being a bad deal.
Brett
The Max show, the Pit deals with.
Michael
Something like that getting peed on.
Brett
Yeah, yeah.
Michael
I'm pretty sure that's always consensual. If you get pee in your mouth, it would have to be a hell of a moment. That's a. That's the Luke Skywalker 2 meter shot. If my mouth happens to be gaping open and you.
John Holmberg
Two meters, you.
Michael
You hit it with the p. It's impressive. It's amazing.
John Holmberg
Peter north on the other side.
Michael
Yeah. I mean, half the time a guy would try to pee in my mouth and just say, negative, negative. Like they would be, get out of here, wedge. Get out of here, Wedge. We don't need you anymore. It. That would be the only. But I would have to be pretty ready for pee in the mouth. To get pee in my mouth. That would be shocking because it almost.
Brett
Sounds like they were staging it more than anything. Like it wasn't like it's Surprise. She turns around, right? And right.
Michael
Oh, she was in the middle of a sex act that he was watching, and then he suggested pee in her mouth.
Brett
Right.
Michael
This is not.
Brett
It looks like things were going on. Things were happening.
Michael
Kyle asked, did she swallow? All right, I didn't get to that point. Of the trial? Some of it, yes. If she didn't spit, you must acquit. Kyle Pierce says. I agree. I'm not a P. Diddy fan, but I think this one we can dismiss. I think they're trying to set him up as a weirdo and, like, make her a victim.
Brett
But, I mean, it'll be interesting. See how that juror.
Michael
Yeah, jurors don't like. I mean, but to me, I just look at her like, all right, your mouth was open. You know, it's kind of like being really, really fat. And you watch somebody eat pizza. It's like, this is your fault. At a certain point, you just keep opening your mouth and putting pizza in it. You can't blame your glands anymore. Smart. Thyroid is that thing. I got a whole time with thyroid. I'm on the sempic. Yeah, but you keep eating pizza. I know. Not as much as before. Yeah, it's your fault I cut pop.
John Holmberg
Out of my life.
Michael
Yeah, I drink Diet Coke now. All right, this is your fault. All of this is your fault. No, I'm a victim. I don't think so. You keep opening your mouth. Anyway, the Diddy trial is going to get. If this is day one and the family's already quit, imagine what is coming up. Imagine everything. Oh, imagine what the prosecution's going to start doing. Like, they're gonna go nuts. If day one's like, we're gonna start with the piss in the mouth thing, and then we're gonna get to the heavy hitting stuff a couple days from now, see if we can get the family to shake a little. And the girls just all three of them, like, that's nice. You done? Let's go grab something to eat. Let's go to get a couple salads, because I don't want to hear what dad did. If we're. If we open with the male prostitute. He hired Pete on her. And then. And then the best part is that Diddy was complaining that they weren't using enough baby oil. The dude had thousands of bottles of baby oil. How much baby oil does he want on a body?
Brett
Now this whole activity you're talking about being peed in the mouth happened, and two years later, you're still in the house, still together.
Michael
Right? Look.
Brett
And you know, there's palace of baby oil.
Michael
Yeah, a lot of baby oil. Now, here's the thing. I think about the baby oil. He may have overreacted to the lack of baby oil in this particular case and then said, that's never gonna be a problem again. And then ordered, like, 10,000 bottles maybe. And kind of like me, I ordered some. What I thought, again, I do this a lot. I was on Amazon in the middle of the night, and I thought, oh, you know what I need is some of those foam golf balls so I can chip in the backyard without floating one over and, you know, breaking windows in somebody else's yard if I skull one or something. Something. So I ordered a box of those, and it said four. That seems about right. So at four, I should probably get four of those. So I got four. But what I didn't realize was there's four in each package. So now I have 16 boxes. I did it with the things. I have 16 boxes. Golf balls. And I did that with the bike racks.
Brett
You can have a mini ball pit.
Michael
I do. I have lots of little balls. Lots of little balls. Like said the Catholic church. I have lots of little balls in my backyard. But I. But I did it with the bike racks when I thought I was ordering one. And it comes in a pack of four, and I'm like, I'll get four of those. And there's. Now I have 16 bike racks. And I did it with this again. Well, when it says four, I thought that was a sleeve. There's four per box. Quantity. Well, I'll take four of those. 16 of them should get me through. I have well past 16 at this point. A big box showed up in my house.
Brett
You've done well.
Michael
I don't do good with quantity. I don't understand it. When it says four.
John Holmberg
That's what I think.
Michael
I'm getting 4 of the item I'm ordering. Not four boxes of says four per package. I'm like, oh, that makes sense. I'll get four packs. That's 16. No, no. Four sleeves per package. Four. And now I've got. I've got way too many. But that's what I think. P. Diddy. Diddy. We now have enough baby oil for that sex act. That's never gonna be a problem. P. Diddy's house again yet. And then he wanders over the Internet clicks, And instead of 100, he moved the decimal point. It wasn't there. And he accidentally did 10,000 bottles. I don't know why there's a decimal Point on that. But there was.
John Holmberg
I was gonna call you in for a character witness.
Michael
That's right. Right. This guy gets it.
Brett
He's not gonna take it back.
Michael
He's an idiot. On the Internet, too. I would vouch for the idea that it's very easy to accidentally order 10,000 baby oils.
Brett
I'm sure he had some laughs with that. Showing people the baby oil. Yeah.
Michael
Come in this room. It's all baby oil.
Brett
I'm stocked.
Michael
I'm never gonna run out. What is baby oil for other than sexual sex? I've never known. I don't have any of it. After the P. Diddy thing I went through, I'm like, do I have baby oil? Is that in the. I don't. And I don't know what I would. I've never gone, oh, I don't have any baby oil. Outside of maybe wanting to have rubber sheet sex. I don't know what it's for.
Brett
Moisturize the skin.
Michael
Is it. It's awfully.
Brett
Does it help with rash?
Michael
I don't know is what I'm asking. Does it do. I don't know what it does.
John Holmberg
Moisturizer, makeup remover, Shaving cream substitute.
Michael
What?
John Holmberg
Soothing dry skin. Temporary tattoo removal.
Michael
Temporary massage oil.
John Holmberg
Bath oil.
Michael
It makes your tattoo invisible for a little.
John Holmberg
Just like when you get one of the ones at the fair or something and somebody draws.
Michael
Oh, a temporary tattoo. Not temporary tattoo.
Brett
Yeah. You can put it.
Michael
Temporary tattoo, hair care. Got it. Yeah. You don't need. I don't have any of it.
John Holmberg
Untangling jewelry.
Michael
No kidding.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Wow. I'm learning something today.
Michael
It's magic.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Michael
Never once is like, get pee out of a pillow.
Brett
Change every once in a while.
John Holmberg
Clean stained hands. I know.
Michael
Cleans the baby oil. I don't have any cuticle oil. None of us in this room have any. I've guaranteed. Do you?
John Holmberg
Megan don't have any.
Michael
I looked all over the house. None.
John Holmberg
I don't think we do. I haven't looked, but I don't think we do.
Michael
A woman would put. She would never buy baby oil to remove makeup. They get fleeced at Sephora. There's like 15 different products that cost way too much money that supposedly saves.
John Holmberg
37 for an ounce or something.
Michael
Like, this is my makeup remover. I got one. You just soap and water. Oh, that's so harmful to your skin. Oh, well, this other stuff's harmful to the bank account, but it doesn't seem all right. You have thousands of dollars of makeup remover and tiny little box. Go get Some baby oil. If he did he didn't seem to mind. His skin looks great.
John Holmberg
Now we're getting uses great for your tires. Shine up them tires.
Michael
Oh it's better than armor baby oil I guess. Doesn't that leave like grease all over your garage?
John Holmberg
You'd think. I don't know.
Michael
That seems sort of soul glowy for the whole like my couch is going to get stained if this is for the garage floor is going to be covered in glop and then it's like an ice rink out there.
John Holmberg
It's funny how the government goes after you or invades you if you have oils Iraq and now did he oil.
Michael
Rich nations Anyway so if you're peeing in somebody's mouth or you feel like gosh I wish my husband wouldn't pee in my mouth anymore. Shut it.
John Holmberg
This guy uses it on slip and slides. Makes it extra slippery.
Michael
We have 11 year olds from the 70s. Who's got a slip and slide?
John Holmberg
Jonathan apparently does.
Michael
Hi, I just emailed from my time portal during the Carter administration. Just thought I'd let you guys know.
Brett
They put it out on our in our neighborhood. It's probably set up the the viz queen. The big.
Michael
Oh yeah.
Brett
This is plastic hills usually like graduations.
Michael
Did you slip inside summer parties?
John Holmberg
Pie eating contests?
Michael
Yeah. Fight in the storm drains. There's a lot going on in your storm drains. Slip and slide. Are they trying to get you to go down the slip and slide with your mouth open? They just feed your pies as you pass.
Brett
If. If that was part of the program.
Michael
Maybe now the judge will be shot past you all. Try to get some pie in his mouth. Not pee pie anyway. Close your mouth if you want one. If you don't want in your mouth. It's easy. It's just a thing. I don't know. Evidently they put baby I've gotten four or five emails saying they put it in holy water.
Brett
Yeah, that's what I I baby oil.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Father Dale does.
Michael
Oh yeah. He put some baby juice. He put some baby liquid in there. Some young liquid goes in the holy water water because it's usually he's washing his hands and it just gets off his hands and back into the bucket of holy water. F Dale had a problem. Anyway. Just saying PGD trials. Interesting. Sorry Brett. Go ahead. What do you got on the big board of musical treats? I go on and on.
John Holmberg
Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And don't worry about the baby oil over there. They're going to take care of you with all the bike specials you can handle. They got a. A full line from the. The new pivots that just came out. Santa Cruz, Rocky Mountain, you name it, they got it. If you're not in the market for a new bike, well, just go get that old bike in the garage fixed. Best wrenches in town. I got E Bikes. Got whatever you're gonna need. And it's all at action rideshop, actionrideshop.com at two locations right there on Power Road and McDowell and right off of Gilbert Road and Southern.
Michael
The OG guy says, Only show in the city, maybe in the country, that says, here's a segment called Times I would be okay with pee in my mouth and on my face Compared to the times I am not okay with it. Yeah, that's right. There's times that you give the thumbs up or the thumbs down to that. So far, I've spent my entire life thumbs down to that. It happened once with the Bryan Adams girl.
John Holmberg
The baby girl?
Michael
Yeah. No, no, no, no. The po. She lost control of it while I was down there. She was actually up on top there, and I was laying on my back, and she was my face, and I was getting. I was getting it done. Getting it done, son. And the next thing you know, she started, like, screaming and then lost control of her bladder. Now, that was kind of an unfair attack, but was I complicit in the act that I take? That's the cost of doing business, I think. You spend time down there. No, there's a risk. She lost control. Dr. Drew was on. I asked what the hell happened there? Female orgasmic incontinence was the first time I ever heard that phrase. And I threw my arms in the air. I felt like, oh, I made her bladder retarded for a few seconds. It didn't know what to do, and it just unleashed on me like a squid ink. She just was her defense mechanism for too strong and powerful of an organization. Yes.
Brett
And he said, some would say it's a w. Risk reward.
Michael
Well, sure, I felt great about it. I'll be honest with you. I felt great about it. You. You lick a girl where she can't control her body functions, you feel pretty good about yourself for. For a few seconds. Then you go towel off and realize how gross it was. But in the moment, I knew how Michael Jordan felt after the sixth title. I was pretty proud of it. I was pretty proud of myself. That was pretty neat. Anyway, what do you want to do?
John Holmberg
Primus up on the list? Mammoth Dire Straits Money for nothing. We were talking About Sopranos yesterday. Somebody wants a theme song for that. Foo Fighters, Learn to fly for Trump's Plane. Velvet Revolver, Stone Sour, System of a down soil 7 dust slipknot crying like a. For everything going on right now with those politicians and stuff.
Michael
Everything.
John Holmberg
Put your love in. Put. Put my love into you for P. Diddy.
Michael
Okay. I love into you by AC dc I don't even know that one. I can imagine what it sounds like. It's an acdc. Geez, there's a lot of them up there. I'll let you pick it. That's too many for me. I can't make choices like this. We can. Put my love into you by acdc. I want to hear it now. Is it a good one?
John Holmberg
I don't remember it.
Michael
I don't either. I don't. Well, ACDC writes the same song over and over, so this is it.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's on Back in Black.
Michael
It is. Put my love into you is on Back in Black. I know that album up and down. Oh, yeah. Lost you give me a thousand guesses as to. All right, we're playing this. That's a great song. Put my love into you is what that's called. No, John, I got a gun to your mother's head. To get a thousand guesses at what this is called, I would have never guessed. Put my love into you. How about that? What an idiot. All right, let's do it. It's AC DC then. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
Brett
No membership fees.
Michael
I have heard enough of this. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time once again for this week's pick of the Litter, brought to you by our friends at Turf monsters. Go to turfmonstersaz.com they help us out at Lost Our Home Pet Rescue. We appreciate them greatly. This week's peck of the Litter is a project. It's Jep. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees right now. It's this week. Pick of the litter. It's Jeff. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com From Monument Valley.
Byron
To Sedona, Horseshoe Bend, Grand Canyon and more, you might think you've seen all Arizona has to offer. Well, I'd tell you, if you haven't been fishing in Arizona, you haven't seen a thing. It's Dick Toledo from Homework's morning sickness and my first time fishing in Arizona was up in Greer with my friend Jeremy. He was the pro that I'm definitely not. But grabbing a fishing license that weekend was the passport that opened up the whole state to me. And you can get your license@azgfd.gov and discover for yourself a whole new way to take in the Arizona site.
Michael
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Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Release Date: May 13, 2025
The episode kicks off with host John Holmberg delving into the recent NBA draft lottery, drawing parallels to historical events such as Kobe Bryant's orchestrated trade from the Charlotte Hornets to the Los Angeles Lakers. Holmberg expresses skepticism about the legitimacy of the latest draft outcomes, suggesting a pattern of manipulation by the league's higher-ups to favor marquee markets like Los Angeles and New York.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"It happened again last night. The NBA draft lottery came up and the Dallas Mavericks had a 1.8% chance of getting the number one pick. They got it. Through this random drawing, yep, the Dallas Mavericks with a 1.8% chance of getting that pick, got it. And now it's immediately I thought, ah, the fix is in."
— John Holmberg [10:20]
Transitioning from sports, the discussion shifts to a viral video depicting a humanoid robot violently attacking its creators. Michael expresses deep concern over the implications of advancing AI and robotics, fearing a potential uprising reminiscent of science fiction narratives.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"The rise of the machines is here. But if it's... They put him up on a hook, and they couldn't stop it. I mean, this thing was furious at its overlords, and it was on a hook."
— Michael [17:12]
The conversation pivots to the high-profile trial of Diddy, highlighting sensational claims from the first day of proceedings. The focus is on allegations involving an escort who allegedly peed in his girlfriend's mouth, leading to familial discord and public scrutiny.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"The Diddy trial is going to get... If this is day one and the family's already quit, imagine what is coming up. Imagine everything."
— Michael [17:20]
Michael shares a heartfelt account of attending a veterans' luncheon hosted by KTAR's Mike Broomhead. The event, honoring veterans with poignant stories, leaves a significant emotional impact on Michael, emphasizing the importance of empathy and appreciation for service members.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"It was a powerful day. So I just wanted to say thanks to Mike for... That was pretty cool."
— Michael [27:21]
The dialogue shifts to a personal anecdote where Michael recounts losing a long-time friend over his support for Donald Trump. This segment explores the deepening political polarization and its impact on personal relationships.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"You sense it at the end of the lunch and he had told other friends, he's like, well, I'm not going to hang out with Trumpers. Didn't give me an opportunity to say anything."
— Michael [34:32]
In a lighter vein, the hosts engage in humorous discussions about the various uses of baby oil, inadvertently tying it back to the Diddy trial's allegations. This segment showcases the dynamic and offbeat camaraderie among the hosts.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"I have lots of little balls. Like said the Catholic church. I have lots of little balls in my backyard."
— Michael [54:47]
The episode concludes with brief mentions of upcoming comedy shows in Arizona and promotional segments for sponsors like MMP Guns and Turf Monsters. Despite the rich content, these segments are kept concise to maintain focus on the primary discussions.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"Pick of the Litter is a project. It's Jep. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home."
— Byron [68:53]
This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" offers a blend of intense discussions on sports conspiracies, technological fears, high-profile legal cases, personal growth narratives, and light-hearted banter. Through engaging dialogues and candid reflections, the hosts provide listeners with a comprehensive look into diverse and thought-provoking topics, all while maintaining their signature entertaining and sometimes provocative style.
Note: All timestamps correspond to the provided transcript for accurate reference.