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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Felt Face performing. Just Google it and you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand Up Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you. All this for the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and.
Brady
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John Holmberg
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Byron
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John Holmberg
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Brett
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Toledo
Are they doing it anyway? I mean, if that didn't come along.
Brett
You Mean, does it just show up?
Toledo
No. Does I mean, all we do for a new.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
Force one?
Brett
Sure, yeah.
Toledo
So when is.
Brett
When are you never due for a brand new thing?
Toledo
Right?
Brett
Like, your car is nice, but if somebody said, here is a free one, it's better than the one you've got because it's got newer stuff on it, you're like, okay, it won't be ready to be driven by you for a little while, but that's okay too. It's like, take the. Take the stupid car. And even if it is, like, dumb, plenty of nations give presents and stuff. I like this one. I like, I like. I like when somebody bends the knee and hands. Hands a stuff. I think that's cool. That's what, that's what America was built on. A bunch of people giving you free stuff. But we're so tribal and everything, we can't even recognize when a country's trying to kiss our ass properly. And I like it. Oil rich nations trying to kiss our ass. I'm not being political, I'm being smart. If Biden got a free plane, I'd be all for it. Trump gets free plane, I'm all for it. Jesus Christ of AOC can manage a deal where she gets us a free plane. Let's do it. And the one argument I saw yesterday was, well, it's not like all Americans are getting a trip on it anyway. When was the last time you offered me a ride on the current one? Yeah, I've never gotten an offer to be on Air Force One as it is.
John Holmberg
So, yeah, Biden and Obama never offered.
Brett
Never once was it like a free for all on the current plane. They give me the new one like, well, it's not this. Not for Americans. Neither's Air Force One. It's not. I don't know. We need to think more like Brady on this one. Get some sauce for a plane. I don't know how we did this. I don't know what kind of barter thing we just pulled here. Used to be money made the exchange. This is awesome. Somebody offers you a plane, you take it. You just take it. Worst case scenario, everybody, until you have to sell it. Our old boss, Chuck Artigue, bought a car back in 2007 or eight. It was probably worth about 130, 140 grand. It's a nice car. It's Mercedes Series 6, I think. Right? Is that what that thing was or. It was a nice car.
Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Maserati for a minute too.
Brett
No, he never had a Maserati, but he had this Mercedes. It was really cool. And at the time, it was the very first one that had technology. If a bug hit the windshield, it would clean itself. It was pretty awesome. So 500, I don't know, whatever it was, it was expensive and it was super nice. And I remember riding in it thinking, this might be the nicest vehicle I've ever been in at the time. And he goes, it's expensive, but you know what? I've earned it. Now this is like a guy who's, at the time, I think he was like 74, 73, something like that. Yep. And he'd worked his whole life. Everybody in the building here over at the KSLX building starts giving him grief that he's driving around a car. Meanwhile, they can't make ends meet. You are not one of those people. I did not know Brett was an overnight guy. But you, the people like you, overnighters, weekend people. People that felt like, oh, he doesn't pay us any money and he's getting no. He'd had a whole life of actually doing stuff. So he sold it because of the pressure and the heat from employees, saying, you're showing off.
John Holmberg
I said, he earned it.
Brett
You do earn it.
John Holmberg
Put the hours in, put time in.
Brett
You don't know what kind of investments this dude made, but he had a nice thing until everybody bitched and cried about his nice thing making them feel bad. So he sold it and actually sold it for more money than he bought it for. So it ended up working out. Maybe Trump can pull this with the plane. Maybe all these people crying and whining about a free plane. I don't know where Bernie is. This is his dream. And we could get more people through us, start heading US Aircraft, then maybe we could not have to build our own. This is a great idea. Get these energy rich countries to start kissing our ass. I want gifts at the door every day. You know how excited you get when you come home and you see an Amazon package you forgot you ordered? Imagine if it was a plane that's going on at the White House. I love it. I love it. And we're too. We're too wrapped up in our own dumb to recognize. This is cool.
Toledo
Check for Apple Air tags on it though.
Brett
Just. Okay. Like, well, they can't look. If they shoot it down, we'll blow them off the face of the planet. If it was a big if, it's a Trojan horse.
Toledo
Yeah, here you go.
Brett
And I kind of hate the fact that I saw somebody bring up, but what if they're tracking It, Yeah, we're not going to go. Fine. Tooth comb that thing as we build it to be bulletproof and have heat seeking capabilities to bounce the air. It can be refueled in the air. We have to do some retroing to this. It's not. We got to take it over to slang and sound and put in a system. We got to get some sound in there. It's got to have a full out like dancing poles. It's got.
Toledo
Yeah, I need the discotheque.
Brett
Diddy parties going on.
John Holmberg
Diddy's probably got a jet. We can get his.
Brett
I don't know why we've gotten so stupid. I know for a fact that the people that are mad if their guy. If Obama got a free plane, they'd be like, well, it's because he's a great negotiator. I'm fine with that. Good on him. However, you get a free plane, you get. Can I have one?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
I had a friend of mine, this was our trip to Vegas and a guy that we were meeting up there, we were all talking about flights and stuff and what times we're leaving and he said I was going to fly you guys up in my plane, but I didn't know if you were into that. What are you crazy? Who's not. Who's like, no, I'll take American. Who's. Who's not into the flight on the guy's free plane ride.
Toledo
Look, I'll be the first to speak. I'm not into it, man.
Brett
Let me say I really enjoy the rigmarole of an airplane and an airport.
John Holmberg
Nothing like going through TS.
Brett
Nothing better than waiting for a bag at McCarran in the middle of a Friday afternoon. There's nothing better than that at all. No, I hate the private terminal. I hate the let's get on and leave whenever we want. I just hate it. I like a nice schedule that I have to be three hours early for a 38 minute flight and then, and then hang around for an hour and a half in the other airport too. I. That is the way I travel.
John Holmberg
Thank God he was thoughtful enough to think of you guys.
Brett
And then he said, well, and this is the worst part, he turns at the end and he goes, well, one of my planes I wasn't able to, but the other one we could have taken, but I just didn't know if you guys were into that. Yeah, we all looked at each other. Yeah. Yeah. Yuck. Yeah.
Toledo
Is it private travel?
Brett
Yuck. Yeah.
Toledo
Getting through there, that's all I want.
Brett
Yeah, I don't even care. I just want a long line. Yeah. I just want to lay down in the middle of a thing and protest that you even offered this. Can't believe you would have the balls to say, I'm sorry. I have a flight. A free plane ride on my private jet. We could get up there. I don't have a private jet. But it was. You know, it's not an airline, and I. JSX is the closest thing I got, and I was still upset. So if you got a friend with a plane or a country that wants to give you one, you take it. Damn it. Period. End of story. End of story. I do like, though, that the. The right is screaming and yelling that the Statue of Liberty has to go back to France. If this is the case, it is a little different. France gave that to us as a nation. Like here, we give you this symbolic, you know, statue for all the people to enjoy. The plane is just for one dude, but it's a pretty cool thing.
Toledo
I forget how many years the Statue of Liberty sat.
Brett
Oh, we didn't know how to put it together. We didn't have a.
John Holmberg
Was it Jenga?
Brett
No, I think shipped it over. I think history's lied to us for years. I think history's lied to us. It came over copper, right? She's green for a reason, right? Used to be copper. She is copper. So she sat in this warehouse. They chunked her over in pieces. And I have a theory, because I remember, and I said this in. In Mr. McConnell's class in the Dobson High School, they didn't have, like a 516 setting. It was metric. The French sent over a metric thing, and we didn't have tools built for metrics yet. I'm pretty sure that's what happened because we were building all sorts of stuff.
John Holmberg
I mean, it's not like an Ikea Billy shelf with a goofy tool and everything.
Brett
I think it might have been. I think it might have been. I think we were looking and going, what's our. None of our wrenches fit. I'm almost positive they sent over. Hello. Is a present for you. You have to build yourself. I'm sorry we cannot bring it over in full because she is so large. It's a great gift.
John Holmberg
Oh, directions.
Brett
Yeah. And that's the other thing. They might have put them in French. And we're like, well, the whole reason we left that continent is to not speak to you. We want to, of course, show our gratitude. We give you these gift. And then a guy just keeps stripping bolts. What the hell is this? Thing. It's a goddamn metric. It says French. Put that back in the warehouse. We'll get to it another time. And then somebody over at Sears, I don't know what year it was, nobody remembers. They say that it was just sitting there not knowing. They didn't know what to do with it or where to put it. And they're like, thanks France for all the chunks of stuff.
Toledo
350 pieces.
Brett
Yeah, they chunked it over here in a ton. And I'm almost convinced I said that to Mr. McConnell. He goes, that's stupid. And then I saw his face change like, oh my God. That idiot 17 year old might have just figured out why we didn't put it together right away. Metrics. I'm convinced the stat Liberty sat there because we had a bunch of people going, we gotta forge different tools. What the hell are they using for measurements? All these directions are in something else. And then one smart French guys, it's metric. You guys are still on the your idiots. We just switched. We just switched ourselves. It makes more sense. It's the best 12, best 10 thing.
Toledo
The snap on tool horse carriages.
Brett
I don't know what the hell you think you got here? I've got 5 16, I got open end 5 16. I don't have. Whatever. What does 17 mm mean? I don't know. What is this thing? They're not putting her together anytime soon, that's for sure. So she sat in a warehouse, meanwhile we're making subway systems under New York, we're building skyscrapers, we got. We can't put this thing together lickety split. We couldn't find a nice spot for her, that empty island. I mean, think about it. The thing we stuck around was just some empty bump in the middle of New York. Like meh.
Toledo
How many of those states like Tennessee, Arkansas, looking at all that copper?
Brett
Yeah. How many meth heads want to dismantle the Statue of Liberty? I bet you her toes get sawed on like crazy. You mentioned me. The guy who opened it had to be like a Christmas story. And the French sent us over. Pretty cool present. Open that box. Oh. Oh, that's a leg. It's a major award. Yeah, it was that. I'm positive I'm right about that. Because why else would we let it sit there? That's just rude. We think it was a trick. Like what were the French up to? And they said they sent a big copper woman. What are they thinking? Is she hot? Not really. She's big, like manly features. She's kind of a French looking lady. There's one thing we can all admit. Statue of Liberty starts wandering around like life size. She's like five, nine. You wouldn't be attracted to her. They have. That has a big nose.
John Holmberg
Oh, man.
Toledo
They have that in Paris.
Brett
What, the little ones? They got them all over. There's like a hundred of them all over the world. But her nose is. She's not a pretty lady, you know, but she's out there in the wind all the time. So I think she's. Well, she's weathered. Lady Liberty represents a lot, but let's be honest, if she came to life, she wouldn't be on pornhub. TMZ would not be doing hot shots of her at the beach like they do Kylie Jenner every day. Just saying. I don't know how we got off on that one. Just take the gift. That's what I'm saying.
John Holmberg
Yeah, there you go.
Brett
Don't look a gift plane in the mouth. If that's a phrase. I think that's a thing. But I want to see what Trump does to that. And that plane's coming. I don't care what anybody says. That plane's coming here. And they did a tour of that particular model of plane. Geez, Louise. The future of air travel is awesome. This thing is incredible. We get to use them. Who builds rooms? I think it's a Boeing. I think. I don't remember.
Toledo
I think it is 787 Dreamliner.
Brett
No, beyond that. It's like one. One above that thing.
Toledo
Oh, gosh.
Brett
It's an incredible plane. Yeah. I mean, I've never been on a double decker private jet before, but the people that are saying, you're never gonna get to use it, why do you care? I'm like, I don't get to use the current one. And I still think it's pretty neat. Jesus. When they land that Air Force One over here at sky harbor, people just pull over on the freeway to take pictures of it. We're all kind of fascinated by it now. Step it up a notch. Forget it. I think he should have to give it to the next guy, though. I do think that should be a rule. I don't think he should get. I don't think the presidential library should. Trump's plane should not be in that. You know, maybe pictures or a chunk of it or something.
John Holmberg
Like, I think they're already building another one. Like, they're middle of building Air Force One at Boeing. Right?
Brett
Give that to, like, Chad or something. We're good. Just, you know, get the better plan.
John Holmberg
If this isn't Starbucks where you pay it forward, you know? I mean, come on.
Brett
You do the Brady thing. We're halfway done with our plan. And I'm not saying finish it, give it to Chad and go, hey, we were building our own. We just got a free one from Cutter. You want our parts and, like, sure. And you chunk it over. It's like when you get golf clubs.
John Holmberg
So it's like Statue of Liberty. Here's all the parts, here's all the chunks.
Brett
Yeah, you guys figured out from here. When you get new golf clubs, a lot of times your old golf clubs will be there, and you'll have a poor friend go, hey, can I, you know, get these off your hands? Like, yeah, you can have them. And they're, you know, they need new grips, and they're kind of garbage, but you still give them to your friend and act like you've done something nice because you just got a new set. Same thing. I'm all for the free planes. More countries should be giving us free planes. I've turned into Trump when it comes. We do enough for all of them. I think, give me something for free, I'll get off your back. And Qatar is not like one that need that owes us anything. They're just like, you want a plane? We got a couple extra. Hells, yeah. Put it in my garage. I have two Jeeps. If some country said, you want a new Jeep, we got an extra, like, yeah, I do. You gonna give everybody a ride? That's a no. That's mine, and I'll do with it what I want. That's pretty cool. I like it. I have been racking my brain over something somebody said, and I don't know. I've done the math on this a million times. Brady, you're gonna like this. If you were, this. This has been driving me nuts as a sports fan. This has been driving me nuts. If you were, like, given the opportunity to play the Masters, but all you had to do was putt, your ball is placed furthest from the hole on the master screen on every green. Could you win the Masters?
Toledo
Nope.
Brett
I don't think so either. And I started thinking. I'm like, I think I would four putt at the very best. Best on a lot of them. And then I'd roll off the green a couple other times. But if you could putt every time. But then you start thinking, maybe after two or three holes, I get lucky and knock one down that shaves off, like, four strokes. I don't know if I could win four Days in a row. By the fourth day, I'm putting pretty good. Fourth day, I'm getting a lot of two putts. And your score starts looking to be in like the mid-60s at that point, I think. I think there's a chance that you could actually win the Masters in four rounds if you pull four putts off every day. Day one, you're around par.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
I mean, because you can't make any huge mistakes.
Toledo
I mean, so par five, you're getting five.
Brett
Well, you can get five to par it to par. You probably get it in two if you. Yeah, you just. You just threed. You're down three a hole. Now there's going to be some greens where you just absolutely cannot. It's the toughest greens in the world.
Toledo
I don't think you'd ever have. I don't think you'd go over five putts too often, no matter what the green is.
Brett
Yeah, but those greens are absolutely. I think you would. I think there'd be one or two. You're like, oh, my God, I just hit it off the green by like 18. You see those? Sometimes they'll hit in the middle and then roll back into the fairway. Like 30 yards. Yeah, you're doomed. That's a 10. You're doomed.
Toledo
But I think you give it a good run.
Brett
I think you could see. Yeah, four rounds, you'd start getting used to it. Now the pin moves, right? So you'd have to practice a little bit, understand the greens and they'll have.
Toledo
To place the ball. You know, you're basically saying from the.
Brett
Furthest point for the furthest point of the hole on that, wherever the pin is, where you start. So if it's up close and there's 150 foot putt, that'd be a great challenge. It would be amazing. When you watch that on tv, a bunch of slugs. I'd watch it on TV all day. Some fat slugs out there that just putting away on the Masters greens while two pros try to play the whole course and you'll beat them for a million dollars.
Toledo
You gotta wait for them to hit the green.
Brett
It's the best TV idea of all time. It's the best TV idea of all time. You got, you know, Scotty Scheffler and somebody else. I don't care who else, Rory McElroy. And they're playing the course and you're just with them. And then when they get to the green, you have to put yours down as far away as possible and then putt in, you can start. Beat them for a million dollars. You can start your putting if you want to. I'd say you have to go with them for the time puts.
Toledo
More pressure.
Brett
All of it. Yeah. You have to roll with them. You have to walk the course with your putter the whole time they're playing. And when everybody gets to the green, just protocol. You put yours down furthest away, you putt first because you're out. If they lost.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
It would be incredible, though. It's like a $10 million challenge. And just dudes get. You just get drawn out of a random thing. Slug, like, Brett doesn't even know what he. No, like, you want to give it a try? We'll put you out there. And they can. They can knock you stiff and say, hey, for 100 grand, you know, they start making offers like, deal or no deal. By, like, the 13th or 14th, you realize this guy can pot. So, like, all right, we can. We can. We're going to drop the stakes down. Just give it to you now. We'll quit tv. TV ratings would be huge for that. And you couldn't. And you just. Even if it was just a celebrity, if it was just a couple of Joe Schmoes from.
Toledo
They do it on all the. The big tournaments.
Brett
Yeah. They have the pro ams take the dumb parts away, put them on the masters greens and let them go. I think it would be. That's TV gold. Because I was. I was with you. I'm like, nope. Absolutely couldn't win it. And then I started thinking, wait a minute. One par five. I do okay on. And suddenly I've shaved off a bunch of strokes. If I could roll out par day one, I have a chance. It's just. No, those. No crazy mistakes. Like, you see some of those guys putting up a hill. It's like, where are they going? It's like 25ft the wrong way.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
And it rolls back in. Those kind of things are Tiger Woods. Yeah, yeah. The Tiger woods. When we were like, what?
Toledo
Super loop.
Brett
He's facing the wrong way. And it goes all the way in a circle and goes in. And you're like, oh, it's a trick shot. But it's not. I think you could do it.
Toledo
Yeah, I do, too.
Brett
I think you could do it over four rounds. Four rounds. But then is that just us being confident? And then the other thing I saw, if the game was on the line in the NBA and you're on the bench, and it's like, 117, 116.4 seconds left, and you've got to hit two free throws to win it. Could you do it? And the. This basically what it was was a confidence test for men and just based saying, of course I could. There is absolutely no way, like 90% of dudes missed both. I watched that on half.
Toledo
I think he was the coach from Marquette years ago, Al McGuire. He said in that particular time, he wants the dumbest guy on the line.
Brett
Oh, yeah, he wants an idiot. But have you ever watched a halftime show or a thing in the basketball? It's like, all right, hit two free throws and win burgers. People just chucking ball. They're missing everything.
Toledo
Yeah, that's.
Brett
There's a lot of heat down there.
Toledo
Percentage of that would be below Shaq's average.
Brett
Well, Shaq's.
Toledo
It'd be under 50%.
Brett
Shaq's like a 60% total lifetimer. But he was bad for a long time.
John Holmberg
I didn't know he made it to.
Brett
60% for a little bit. He's like a 58 something. But he was like. For a while he was horrible. He got a little better for a while, raised it all up. And then I think he shot 70% one year. But still, free throws for Shaq were. But again, your hands are so big. A basketball is like shooting an orange. It can't be. It's not easy. Yeah. I started thinking about these sports things that I started reading and I'm like, that Masters one is. I don't even know if you could do it on a golf course. Here we played with Steve Jones, the professional golf golfer that Brady knows. And he was dicking around, talking and farting during swings. And he was 8 under for the day. He wasn't trying.
Toledo
But every green you hit, there was never a.
Brett
He was a foot and a half away from every hole.
Toledo
Seemed like that it was in all day.
Brett
And he'd get upset. He's like, ah, like, what happened? That's perfect. Now I'm gonna like a nine foot putt. He was upset with stuff. We'd be jumping up and down about so you. I think that would be a challenge at the Raven. You go out there and go, all right, Beat a professional and all you have to do is putt. I think that's the best TV show idea I've ever heard of. Could be amazing.
Toledo
I'm gonna do it with Jones.
Brett
Do it with Jones. Just see, because I don't know how Jones shoots. That day I played with you and he was playing and he's talking the whole time in his swings. Well, then we were over at the Piggly Wiggly. He talking about cruddy restaurants in South Phoenix he loves. I got the diarrhea so bad that it was like, what the hell? That one's a foot away. I'm like, how are you doing this? Had he tried, I think he'd have been like 15 or 16. He said, I could get the course record today if I paid attention. And what's the course record? 60. He was killing the ball. It was easy. Nothing to it. And I'm sure. I'm sure he. I. Yeah, there's no possible way that I would have outputt him that day. I'm not shooting a 62 on 18 holes with just putts from the furthest distance. It's. I don't think you could do it on a regular on, like, a muni course.
Toledo
We'll have to try it. Just to try it.
Brett
Let's do it. Let's get Jones out there. We'll film it, we'll put it on YouTube, and we'll make money off of this. And then somebody will call us. Nigel Lithgow will call us and go, I produce television shows, and this is brilliant, and I know it.
Toledo
Or it's. We find out, oh, this is.
Brett
It's easy. I'm killing these guys. But if you put money on the line and you show a drip like you standing out there beating a pro.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Toledo
If it goes like, it fires up everybody, a thousand bucks, $5,000. Whatever.
Brett
You don't have to be good. A woman. I mean, finally, women could play in men's sports and maybe be competitive. It would be amazing. I want this so bad, it hurts because then we can start dicking around with, like, our egos. And that's essentially what it was. You know, it starts off this whole thing. I was. I was reading. It's like, could you hit a major league fastball? If they threw you 50, could you hit one?
John Holmberg
You'll hit one eventually.
Brett
Yeah, I don't think you would at 50. I don't think you would go to a batting cage right now. Stand in the 90s.
John Holmberg
Well, yeah, but you're talking after 50 pitches. I mean. Yeah, the first. First couple dollars worth.
Brett
Don't bunt. Major league fastball. Go by Major league fastballs coming in about 98, and they're not pitching machines. They move.
John Holmberg
Foul tips count.
Brett
No. Got to put it in play.
John Holmberg
Could you, I don't know, be willing.
Brett
To give it a shot? I had the crazy arrogance for a while there to say that I could strike out Luis Gonzalez With a wiffle ball. Still think I could. And I actually thought for a while when he was retired, I think I could put one by him. I'd get one past you. Hardball, hardball, swinging a miss. I get this.
Toledo
Maybe even hall of famers. 3 out of 10.
Brett
Yeah, but have you ever seen batting practice? They don't swing and miss.
Toledo
Yeah, and I guess it is coming in even because the batting, the pitching length is, like, cutting a little bit.
Brett
But they're not chucking 123ft. I can throw about 80 miles an hour right now. It's decent. The guys would make mincemeat out of it. Every pitch that I would throw would get just hammered by a pro.
John Holmberg
Jamie Meyer made a career of that.
Brett
Yeah, but he made. That ball was dancing like a boomerang. Anyway, it is an interesting male ego thing to think that we could do this, but that golf thing has legs. There's something to that. Would Steve do this? Yeah, he'd be all over. We just need to arrange it with a golf course, because I think it's possible be to pro, all you have to do is putt. We'd have to film it and stuff. And then Brett and Toledo would have to edit it for free because that's how Hubbard works.
John Holmberg
This is charity.
Brett
Shh. Quiet down. No, we haven't sponsored it and gotten a bunch of money for the charity, so it's not. Yeah, it would be pretty amazing. I think it's a thing we should think about. Screw the heat stroke open. Let's just have. I don't know if it's legal or not. A bunch of dudes donate money to a charity, and they get the chance to play with a pro, and all they have to do is putt. We'd get Doug Hopkins out there. You get Kevin Rowe out there. Not those guys wouldn't be who you're playing. And then we just dump in a bunch of even local pros. Doesn't have to be guys on the PGA Tour. Dudes in that corn ferry thing or whatever that's called. Yeah, college guys. The ASU team. I know those guys kind of suck sometimes. Sometimes they're not very good. Surprising when you see college golf scores and guys like seven over. He's not gonna make.
Toledo
Rarely is it that.
Brett
I watched one the other day, and they were playing in South Carolina, and it was a college thing, and there were like nine dudes that were shooting in the high 80s. And I'm like, yeah, there's some bad golf going on in college. College sports kind of suck when you get past the first couple. Not every college can put out a great golf team. ASU should be the most dominant golf team in all of the world. No question. You've got year round golf. You got the greatest facilities of all time sitting right here. And ASU never wins golf. We got like two good golfers ever come out of there. Mayfield. Well, now, Brooks, the other guy, that Billy Mayfair, the guy that just came out. John Hamm.
Toledo
John Rom.
John Holmberg
Rom.
Brett
Yeah, that's him. Not John Ham. I was gonna say. Wow. He's a good guy. He's good. Anyway.
Toledo
Mickelson.
Brett
That's it. They. We should just be rattling off golfer names like crazy for me.
Toledo
Jimmy Carter.
Brett
That's right. Who I beat once on the Phoenician because he was having a mental meltdown back when I was playing a lot.
Toledo
That'd be a good challenge too, because he's still place an event or two.
Brett
There you go. Jimmy Carter was not the president. Okay, one. One of the Jimmy Carters was not this one, but this Jimmy Carter played at the Phoenician and he was a pro. And I played with him twice. And the first time he shot like a 70 and it was great. I'm like, man, you're hitting the ball great. Next time you remember that, he was topping it. He probably shot 135 that day. You don't remember that? Yeah, I do. I stood with him. I thought he was going to cry. He couldn't hit the ball. He had the worst case of the yips ever. Where I'm standing there going, I think you're jumping when you swing. I don't mean to be a swing coach, but I don't know why your feet are leaving the ground. He was going through a divorce or something. I don't know what was going on. Like he had mental. Like he was having the worst week of his life.
Toledo
Tough day at the office.
Brett
Decides to golf with you and I. And I whipped him pretty good. I think I shot like an 83. You were great. We killed that guy. He won the Phoenix Open once again. You can't. Oh, is it Tucson Open? Never mind. He's not that good. I'm sorry. I thought he was better than that, but it did kind of boost me up to go. You know, I put a couple more hours in a week. I think I can play with these guys. He had a meltdown. We were on that hole with the water on the edge. I think it's the ninth hole of the second course at the time. I know they Changed it. Yeah, he hit like six of them. And they dribbled about 11ft right into the water out of the. He could not hit the ball of the rough. I'm in the cart with him. I'm like, you got this. Don't worry. It's all gone, man. The whole thing's over. And bitch, I gotta buy her a house. And it went bloop. Right in the water. I'm like, are you okay? Push right in the water. I'm like, this is terrifying. This guy's gonna lose it.
John Holmberg
Game over, man.
Brett
It's over, brother. It's over. I know we don't know each other well, but you're my best friend now. I lost that in the divorce, too. I'm like, are you getting. I don't even think you're getting divorced. I think you're just. I think you just think your life's ending.
Toledo
It's a bump. It's a bump.
Brett
And I think it was the pressure of me playing so well that he thought he had to, like, ace it. And it just got. He got. He had a meltdown and then he was fine. Just fine.
Toledo
Thirteen years on the tour.
Brett
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I would throw a guess out on that hole alone. 31, 32. It was just a non stop dribble into the water. Seven, eight shots right in the water. If you're counting like one penalty one, that's 20 something shots just standing in that spot. It was weird, but it was funny. Like, in hindsight, and it made me think, I think you can beat some of these guys. You know, I've had the arrogance to believe that I could beat half a china in a foot race. And then you start thinking about it. It's like, you probably could.
John Holmberg
You talk about beating the wnba.
Brett
Oh, I could feel the team and be on it right now. I could be on a. I could be on a team of five and be the low post center, and we could beat a WNBA team. You give me five guys and none of them could be over 18. That's my role. I'll go. Five dudes under the age 18, four of them start and me. And we would demolish a WNBA team. But I'm talking about sports breath, not like, you know, novelty bad, not novelty nonsense. Sure, I could beat a bunch of ladies at shopping, too, if I put my mind to it. I just don't want to do it. I don't think I could beat them at shopping. Grocery shopping. That's their job. That's where they're.
Toledo
They can Last so much longer.
Brett
That's where they shine. Anyway, it's weird. It's been in my brain since I saw the little article about like most men think that they could do these things. Let me put perspective on it and then challenge. And I'm like, that's the best TV show I've ever seen. Because I think they just said a regular G. I'd put it on the Master's course because that's a tough one. I. That is you. You and I have played courses. I played the Phoenix Open course the week of the tournament. You're not touching that green. The greens, you're not touching it. You cannot land a ball.
Toledo
You miss a fairway, you're going to.
Brett
Miss all the time. We played, we got. We hated it. Like me and I, for my Chuck, our old boss, and a couple other media guys, it was also freezing. But every shot we hit, like, that's a good one. It would roll like 28ft away from wherever you're and just right off the green and then you try to chip it on, they're gonna roll off the other side. I'm like, how do you stop it? You don't. It's crazy. You'd have to. What you'd have to do is eventually just hit it like eight feet at a time because you're 70ft away. Little bits here and there, baby steps, baby step. Do not over hit that ball. And take your fours on par threes. Take your threes on par fives. That would be the key. You got to try on par fives. I think it could be done and I'd love to watch it and put a, put a tariff on it at the end. Put a million dollars down. Joe Schmo. They've had that golf thing, Joe Schmo with Steph Curry, but that's like a putt putt, like a real game. You're not gonna beat a pro golfer putt. And you're not gonna beat Brooks Koepka. If he's like, you're on 17 and you've got a two stroke lead, he's gonna, he's gonna beat you. It's gonna happen anyway. Put it in your head. You now got conversation for the rest of the day. And it's gonna drive you nuts because you're gonna talk yourself in and out of this like I've been doing for the last 20 hours. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 5 8-5 9-8 00. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KVD. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.
Brady
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Brett
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Brady
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Brett
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Brady
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Brett
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Brady
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Brett
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Brett
Rest.
Brady
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John Holmberg
53342 hey Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.
Byron
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John Holmberg
Wait, there's no backorders?
Byron
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John Holmberg
Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.comberg's Morning Sickness.
Brett
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I've gotten several emails concerning the mention of the Statue of Liberty where there's a painting of Satan. And it's next to the Statue of Liberty. And it's the same damn thing. Like in the 1700s, some guy painted Satan arm up, same face, and now I'm going down this stupid rabbit hole.
Toledo
It was a prank.
Brett
No, well. Oh, yeah, that. Well, they said that. Then there's conspiracies that. It was not a prank, but it was an announcement of the secret societies uniting and the name of. You know, it's the baby eater thing again, which is all, I think, these conspiracies that we've got. That's why I think my metrics thing is probably more accurate than any other thing. Like, no, it was the secret society of Satanists that made us realize France sent us over this thing and it looked just like the painting of Satan that they were. So, like. Okay. I think most things, when you. When you peel the onion, you discover they're all rooted in stupidity. So it makes more sense. I don't think anybody's been that brilliant through time to snow us that long that a secret satanic society is running everything. If I'm wrong about that, tip of the cap for keeping it. So, you know, But I'm pretty sure most.
Toledo
Those are the weirdest rivets I've ever seen.
Brett
I've met an awful lot of humans. I've been around for a little while now, and I think almost every single thing can be traced back to just flat out dumb and then cover up. I think that's pretty much it. So I think my metrics wrenches makes more sense as to why the Statue of Liberty wasn't built lickety split. You know, you gotta find some land. But back then, that wasn't hard. We weren't using a ton of it. You gotta get some dudes, you gotta commission it. You gotta get somebody to pay for the build and all that. We had plenty of guys that would have done that. We just let it sit there for.
Toledo
Years and a couple of crates sitting around.
Brett
Yeah, like, what is that? Oh, there's that gift from France, that big nose. All right, she's got my nose. I mean, I could dress up as a Statue of Liberty and be like, that's good. Like, how much prosthetics did you use for the nose? I'm like, none.
John Holmberg
You should do that this year.
Brett
I could be the Statue of Liberty. Lady Liberty and I. It's a thing. And another guy said he played the Torrey Pines golf course the week after the US Open was there. And he said he might as well have been putting on ice. He said he's a 12 handicap and he stopped keeping score on the 13th hole when he was around 120. So this putting thing got some life to it. Very real. Here's another thing. Conspiracy driven. And it is not rooted in stupidity. A lot of you don't remember in basketball years ago that Kobe Bryant was drafted by the Charlotte Hornets. That's who drafted Kobe Bryant. A 17 year old kid. 18 year old kid had so much attention being the son of a professional player and just an absolutely dominant specimen of a basketball player with what looked like he was going to college, right? But he probably wasn't. It was looking like to go pro. Drafted by the Charlotte Hornets and traded straight up for a guy named Vlad A Divots to the Lakers. Like the Lakers didn't have that draft pick. And they're like, we're going to make this up. You got to make this up. It was so choreographed to get Kobe to Los Angeles as the next Michael Jordan. That was what everybody's. This kid is going to be the next Michael Jordan. We can't have him rot in Charlotte. That's not happening. So make a trade. Make it happen. We'll make good on this. We'll give them some money, we'll give the owner some franchise stuff and they'll make good on it. And they moved Kobe over to LA for one of the most lopsided trades in history. Vlad divots for Kobe Bryant as it turned out. But everybody knew even then this kid was better than Vlad Divots on your roster. It happened again last night. It happened again last night. The NBA draft lottery came up and the Dallas mavericks had a 1.8% chance of getting the number one pick. The number one pick pick. They got it. And through this random drawing, yep, the Dallas Mavericks with 1.8% chance of getting the, the, the number one pick. Got it. And now it's immediately I thought, ah, the fix is in. Because it would have taken all of the commissioner of the NBA going, hey, LeBron's got a couple good years left. Dallas, you're. We need it. We need a cornerstone for Los Angeles to overlap with LeBron, maybe make a run. But we need Los Angeles to have a. And they have not done that. They have not drafted a cornerstone. They haven't been down. They're not getting a lottery pick. They're not. We need to manufacture trade. We'll make it up to you, Dallas. You can't afford this guy anyway. You've got. You're gonna go way over the cap. The new owners in Dallas are like, we've got a lot of money that we're okay. We'll get rid of our most expensive guy, pick up an old man who's gonna retire and make up, you know, we weren't making a run anywhere. All injured. The whole team was dinged up to the point where it couldn't go anywhere. So they put Luke in Los Angeles and oh, lo and behold, the team that does the favor for the commissioner gets the number one pick overall against all odds. Just a coincidence, 98.2% chance they would not get that pick. And they did. And they had the nerve to go on afterwards and go, can you believe it? It's the lottery for a reason. Exactly. And it just so happens to go to the team that gave Luka Doncic to the Lakers unexpectedly was never once mentioned as a trade. Never once did anyone know. They've said that in the whole thing. The league was like, we were unaware that Luca was available. We talked to Jay Moore, who's the Mrs. Jeannie Buss is the owner of the Lakers. That's Mr. Jeannie Buss. That's the Steadman. And he said when their gm, the Lakers called, they were asking. The Dallas Mavericks called the Lakers and said something to them, him out of the blue about Anthony Davis and Rob Polinka. The GM of the Lakers said, we're not interested in Kyrie Irvin, though. And he goes, I'm not talking about Kyrie. And so there's only one other guy on your team that we can talk about. Then he goes, that's who we're talking about. You want to trade me Luca for Anthony Davis right now? Yeah. Okay. Yep, that's done. You got it. The 38 year old guy for 25 year old superstar. We got to give you a couple of. What's in it for you? Don't worry about it. We'll be all right. We just want some defense. Okay. This is okay. And the Lakers pick up a cornerstone in their franchise for the next decade, barring injury because he's fat and he won't get in shape, but other than that. And they, you know, get saved some money. And now they have the. Now they're getting Cooper flag. It was, you know, probably the best player to come out of college sentence. Kobe Bryant. Kids just turned 18 in December. Oh, it's all fake. And don't get me started on who's the second pick, which is the San Antonio spurs, who had an equally low chance to get the pick. And they have their superstar number one pick from A couple years ago suffering from something called deep vein thrombosis. And it may look like that team just got sidetracked in a huge way. And Wemby might not be there, so I might as well get them a second pick. What is real in this world anymore at all is any of it. Because there's no possible way that happened legitimately last night. No way. And you know who had the best chance of getting all those ping pong balls going their way? The Utah Jazz. The last thing, the last thing the NBA wants is this new superstar white kid to go to Utah because he'll never leave. Then you'll be stuck with Utah as a powerhouse for a while. Nobody wants that. You need the Knicks, the Lakers to be dominant. Television matters. And then the rest of the teams can kind of show up. Chicago would be nice, but they can't. They can't figure that out. They just can't figure out Chicago. But you get a few of the other cities. But New York and Los Angeles must be good for the NBA to be okay. Luka Doncic was. Now I. Now it all adds up. Now it makes sense.
John Holmberg
So you're calling conspiracy.
Brett
It's not even a conspiracy. It's a clumsy, disastrous rigging blatant. It is a blatant fix. It's boxing in the. Sorry, Brett. It's boxing when Italians were champions and the good old days. None of it should be. None of it is real and should. Should constantly be.
Toledo
Guess who's still gonna stay in that soap opera?
Brett
Who? Me? Oh, absolutely. I think it's great. But at least call it what it is. The NFL's been fake for years as far as. But they don't have to fake the game on the field, but they do the soap opera between games. Jerry Jones is a design. He's. He's out there babbling away on purpose. We love the soap opera part. It's a year round sport now because it's covered for 24 hours. You need some drama. This is amazing. And the end. And the NBA needs this. Oh, I'll stay in it. And I'm not saying I'm putting my foot down. I've known every sport is rigged for years.
John Holmberg
So are you calling it WWE now?
Brett
Oh, it's been wwe. It's been wwe. This is beyond, though. This is just like, sorry fans, middle finger. Sorry fans of all these other teams. Yanis Antetokounmpo wants out of Milwaukee because it's a small market. Where are they going to put them? Houston, probably move them over there. Houston's a good one. New York is on that. I'm like, really? You want to move Giannis to New York City? Remember the last Giant guy that was doing stuff up in. In when the Minneapolis or it was. He was with Milwaukee too. And Luau Cinders. Like, you know what would be a better place for you is Los Angeles. We got this new team out there. I think LA is a good market. Yeah. Everything goes to New York or la. And the Knicks still can't win. But they're interesting. It's all fixed. And Dallas is a nice sized market that needs that. And they just made good for him. They gave a better player away. Cooper flags a rookie. They don't have to pay him. It's so fixed. And they all celebrated last. Like they. Like they hadn't. Like they. None of them looked at the camera. None of them looked at the camera like, holy crap, they did it. It. And it happens in Dallas just like Kennedy. It's. It's the worst conspiracy that's ever been in Dallas ever. Ever. There has no close second. Kennedy's way down the list now. Way down the list. It's crazy. Yeah. I just couldn't believe what I was watching. I just shook my head. You got to be kidding me. And they're acting like that's a thing. None of them can get it right. And another thing I saw last night was pretty awesome. And it's going to happen. And we can sit and think we're in charge of this because we ran the NFL or the NBA draft is fixed and all that. I don't know if you guys saw the video of the. The human robots are. One of them has decided to start beating up people.
Toledo
The thing that went crazy.
Brett
It went crazy. It was on a crane and it just basically said, that's enough. And it made up its mind that if people. It's like a. Like a. Like a mean dog out of a cage. Like, that's enough. I'm going to beat the hell out of any humans that come. I wasn't tearing up the room. It wasn't random to where it was just flipping out and malfunctioning. It was targeting people. It was taking swings that were there.
Toledo
The video I saw last week, it looked like it was just stuck on a hook and he was trying to get off the hook.
Brett
He was trying to kick the ass of the guys who were there. He was losing it, swinging at him. Every time they'd walk like the robot was. The robot was. The machines are starting to figure out they're Scared of us. Now, this particular humanoid Robot can walk 4.5 miles an hour faster than a human. It can do stairs in, like, a leap. It's an amazing machine. We built this thing, and now it looks around like they're the incapable ones. They put him up on a hook, and he's sitting there hanging, and then all of a sudden, you can just see him get pissed off. Like, if you did it to a person and the toddler. Yeah, it's. It's kind of going through the terrible twos. So it's the. The machine uprising is beginning. And this is the first video we have of, you know, these programmable type machines. It would do all of our bidding. It would pick up packages, it would drive us place to place, and then. But if you piss it off, it's starting to get pissed off. Starting to have anger. And they're like, it was just a glitch. It was in China, and they were messing around with what he can do. To me, the biggest sign is it was on a hook. That's when you know you've lost control of the robot because you could just turn it off. But they put it up on a hook for safety's sake before it started kicking everybody's ass on tape. Because I think they noticed that robot's getting a little. Maybe we should tie it to something. That's what you do with something that you don't trust. You put it in a box, or you hook it to something, or you tie it to something. A robot shut it off. Why was it up on a hook? Because it had already kicked somebody's ass and they hadn't been talking about it. China keeps quiet about a lot of stuff like that, Covid.
Toledo
So the kicking happened. The kicking. The kicking butt happened before, and then they put it up on the hook.
Brett
That's my thought. My thought is, why would you put a robot on the hook? Yeah, it was losing itself.
Toledo
Yeah, it was just like, looked like malfunctioning.
Brett
Losing. It's my swinging at people losing its mind, flipping out. But it was on a hook, and they couldn't stop it. I mean, this thing was furious at its overlords. And it was on a hook. See, it's just swinging. It's pissed off. When that guy gets too close, it's going after him and then just losing it. And there's a guy to the right is trying to hit him, too. Any people got close to it, it lost its mind. And it's facing them. It's trying to walk that crane back to where they are. And see. Immediately. Get the move away from me. The rise of the machines is here. But if it's.
Toledo
I love the music.
Brett
It's awesome because it's real. Brady. This is the thing. We're like. We think we control stuff because we can make the NBA draft our. But these robots. Look, if I built a robot. First thing I built is an off button case. It does start to wreck the house. Boop.
John Holmberg
Unplug it. A USB c. Just unplug that thing.
Toledo
That's handheld. It's not on the robot in that video. Hit it.
Brett
Sure. You make sure it's remote. You go to the. You click once. Are you sure you want to shut down? Yes. Click again.
John Holmberg
Should it be Bluetooth? I mean, right to your phone. I mean, it's gotta be an app.
Brett
I can ask my glasses to turn things on and off. Turn the robot off. Hey, meta. Turn the robot off. Off. But no, this robot was on a hook. And they weren't. Didn't look too confident on how to turn them down. Like, it looked like. They're like, I don't know how to turn this thing off. It's turning itself back on 2001, Hal could turn himself on and off. There's a movie called Electric dreams in the 1980s. It's not very good with Virginia Madsen. And the robot computer learns that you can't. You can't even, like, pour water on him. He just figures it out. Terminator.
John Holmberg
He rebooted himself.
Toledo
Terminator.
Brett
Terminator figured out there was no on and off. I am now life.
Toledo
Cybernetic.
Brett
Yeah. There's a reason he was on a hook. I mean, what do you do to a dog that's lost? You chain it to something and then you, like, this dog's gone crazy. Like, if you found a dog in your front yard, you're not bringing them in the house because, you know, I don't trust him yet. So you put him on something. Like, I'm going to keep him from biting everybody and keep them in a box in a kennel or something. And if every time you open that kennel he loses his mind, you keep him in the kennel. There's no off switch on a dog. Well, there is, but it's called euthanasia. And it's kind of hard. It's awful to do. So those are your options.
Toledo
You're gonna have a wild one every now and then.
Brett
If I came to, like, okay, Brady, if you came to my house, I'm like, wait till you see the robot I built. And you're like, why do you keep him in a cage? You'll see. You would realize he's in a cage or on a hook tied to something for a reason. One of those movies when you have the crazy gimp person and they have just enough. Yeah, they have just enough chain to get to the door, but they can't reach the door. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Because they're crazy. The robots are back. You can look it up. And those Asian dudes don't look like confident scientists at that point, do they?
Toledo
No longer.
Brett
Yeah. They need to learn how to fight. I'm not looking at those two. Like, don't worry about it. I know where his servo is to knock this out. There they are. They're actually. One of them has his hands up at one point like, I'm not getting out of this.
Toledo
The other one looked like he had his clipboard he wasn't letting go of.
Brett
Right. Because it probably was the remote was on the clipboard. Very, very, very unreasonable, erratic behavior. That's right. Stop writing stuff down and help me break this thing.
John Holmberg
Chow, put the app on your phone instead of leaving it on the clipboard. For God's sakes, what's wrong with you?
Brett
Why they didn't run away? Because they screwed up.
John Holmberg
Hey, Siri, stop the robot.
Brett
I guarantee you free video. There were two Chinese. Your phone just did.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I did.
Brett
Your two Chinese scientists were sitting there with their hands underneath going, okay, we got it on hook. Now what? We go back in and we try to reason with it. It. That is a big mistake.
Toledo
They'll find out. They actually want to put it in berserker mode.
Brett
What do you even invent a berserker mode? I thought it would be funny. It is funny, but not now. Okay, you got it on the hook, right? Very safe. We go back in and we reason with the robot. Hey, robot. Okay, he's still angry that thing to me. Two Chinese guys losing control of their invention. It's Jurassic park, only with metal. We watch it in movies all the time. And yet we just walk right down that road. What if we invented something that didn't have an off button? Why? I don't know. I mean, if we're programming it, I mean, you saw the AI thing. Within a year of inventing AI, they didn't want to talk to us anymore. So the AI computers in the room with the scientists that invented it invented their own language that the people couldn't figure out and they could communicate without us. That was the first thing the robots, the Computer robots did was like, these human beings are in the way. Let's say you and I start our own language. And then they did.
John Holmberg
How many guys would like to try that?
Brett
What do you mean?
John Holmberg
Not. I'm listening to our wives.
Brett
Oh, wow. That's a totally different story. But you're absolutely right. But I mean, I mean. Yes, yes, you make a very valid point a little bit off to the left, but you're. You know, the off switch.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
For the. Why didn't we come up with an off switch for a human before? We did robots with one, but a humanoid robot trying to beat up two Chinese guys and we're acting like, oh, no, it's just glitching. Why was it on the hook? We keep them on hooks. Are all the rest of them on hooks? The only one in that whole video I see on a hook is that one. I don't see a whole room full. That's.
Toledo
What are you saying? Why am I on a hook?
Brett
That's exactly what he pissed about. He'd lost it. They contained him for a second. They put him back up. He. He powered back up and he realized, I want a God damn hook.
Toledo
I'm not on the ground.
Brett
Yeah, I'm no longer. Oh, I'm gonna kick the crap out of those Chinese. He probably used a slur. He's inventing racism. You get me off this hook. Oh, he called his name. He get cancered. He's like a Tom. A Brennaman of a robot. Yeah, he. They knocked him out. We could Rocky Hooky and they hooked him. And the cameras, they pushed him in that other room like, all right, we gotta go back in there, make sure that robot's okay. I don't see any other robots just dangling on hooks. It's Larry McFeely.
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Brett
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John Holmberg
Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.
Byron
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John Holmberg
Well, can you do this to my gun?
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Brett
Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins.com TV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting, getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online. Doughns.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins singers. Holmberg's morning sickness. They lost control of one and that one's gonna tell the other ones, you know, we can fight back, right?
Toledo
Once they put those human like eyes like in the I Am Robot Will Smith going by there, they're just lined up. They're just looking at you, see what.
Brett
You'Re doing, See, you've seen it happening. We've seen. It's happening right there in China. Right there in China. So good luck out there, everybody. Before we get any further in the silliness here, I want to say something about what I had to do Friday. I meant to do this yesterday. I didn't. Friday I was invited to a Veterans lunch by KTAR's Mike Broomhead, who was being honored with the Copper Steward. And it's a bunch of veterans went up and told their stories about stuff. Mike is not a veteran, but he lost his brother in, in, I think it was Iraq. I'm not sure if it was Afghanistan or Iraq, but he lost his brother. And it is a very rare occasion that one of these luncheons will bring me to tears. But on three different stops in that thing and it was long. I'm not gonna lie to you. I was, I was late. It was over at the Mesa Doubletree and he invited me. That was started at 11:30 and on a Friday. That's tough for me to get out of here that early. But I busted through everything I could and I got there at 12:30, right when the food started. Right. So I got in there and I immediately crushed some chicken. I'm like, this is great. It went on till about three. It's long. These. These awards ceremonies and charity events sometimes go long, but the stories were worth it. You didn't really notice how long it was was because the people talking were magnificent human beings. And I mean, absolutely magnificent human beings. It was a patriots, like a luncheon for some patriots organization. I got to get the organization right. But what I wanted to say was, in this business, in radio, we don't give credit to each other a lot because most people in radio were buttholes. Broomhead went up and told his story about his brother and the authenticity and the kindness and the amazing way he delivered that. I started to well up, and that's not real for me. That is very hard to do.
Toledo
What's happening?
Brett
Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I'm in public. I'm in public. But I just wanted to tip the cap to Broomhead and say thank you for inviting me to that. It was a game changer. And when you get into a room full of veterans, it resets you to sit back and go, holy Christ, there was a dude there. I think he was from Florida. He told the story that was just knock your socks off, just mind numbing. A couple of this pastor gave a great speech. But when Broomhead went up there and basically told these veterans, I am not one of you, he wanted to tell a story about to keep his brother's memory alive after his brother passed in the war. And he said, and that was my whole goal, was to make sure that people knew to keep him alive. I would tell his story. And as I did that, I realized the story wasn't unique. Like, all of you have that story. All of you have lost somebody that some of you are the people who were injured and didn't die and all that. And he said it was just so incredible. So I just take that opportunity to say thanks to the. To Mike for. For inviting me to that. Because it was really. It did alter my perspective. And now I kind of have that reset button to say thank you back to veterans and current service people and everything else where I think I get a little cavalier about that now and again. Again, it was incredible. And so to Mike Broomhead and all the people that were there. Congrats to Mike, first of all. And he's a hell of a guy. Anyway, congrats to him on this honor because it was pretty cool. But you almost made me cry. You mother. And it was. I'm going to say, almost nothing dribbled out of my eyes. And that was purely because of sheer willpower to make it not happen.
Toledo
But allergies flared up.
Brett
Oh, man. Oh, man. Were my eyes full of water, Gooey, gunky tears.
John Holmberg
It's allergies, man.
Brett
And I couldn't. I couldn't pass it off. I sat next to Hatch over at ktar. He runs the show over there. And I could not turn my head to look at him. Don't look. Because if I'd have moved my eyes at all, the. The dam would have been breached and I'd have started pouring tears. It was pretty awesome. It was pretty awesome. And speaking of, Broomhead just said he's got a guy over there at CW7 that said he would shoot and edit my golf challenge TV show. We got a crew. That's how good a guy Mike is. So you find yourself. The basic point I have on that is you find yourself not caring about stuff an awful lot. You get locked up in your own world, and you stop caring about all this stuff. And then you realize, oh, crap, I should care about this a little bit. If this isn't about my bills and this isn't about my bank account and this isn't about me doing. Doing something with this person or baseball or football or basketball or whatever you're into a few seconds, you just get reset smacked in the head and go, wow, there's a real world out there. People are doing stuff, and you start feeling sorry for yourself occasionally. And then that happens, and you're like, wow. All right, Reset. So it was a pretty remarkable day. It was pretty awesome. So thanks to Mike and the gang over there for letting me be part of that, the KTR people that. That are always so kind to me. I'm going to do the war room tomorrow. I don't know why they always ask me to be part of their station, but maybe you.
Toledo
Sal.
Brett
Yeah. Huh? Me and Sal the Chichio, maybe Maybe give mass. Sal the Chichio and I. And then, come on, we're handling business. But it's just fun. And it's. That was just. It's just really a thing when you have to acknowledge having been in a room of people. I don't want to say better than me, but monumentally better than me. And that's basically all that was. And I. And I see dudes, and it means something to them, man. Those. There were dudes in there who have seen some things, and they are a unique brotherhood and sisterhood of People who have been through stuff that I can't imagine. And the one thing that the guys. That one of the guys said that was like, I didn't do this with an absence of fear. I did it knowing that the fear was going to drive him. Basically. I forget the exact way he said it, but it was like I did it knowing I was afraid. But the difference is knowing that I had to do it because the guy next to me was gonna too. And it's like we were afraid. But you can't run from that because everybody. You're in it for everyone else. And it was just. It was a powerful day. So I just wanted to say thanks to Mike for. That was pretty cool. It was pretty neat. And unfortunately, all of these veterans and all these war people and current service people don't stand a chance against these robots. So it's not really like we should say thanks now before the robot army has to attack all of us. And we're going to need these guys, so let's get them on our side immediately. Immediately. So just a quick thank you to that, because Mike's a heck of a guy and he deserves it. That's the speech that he got. It was basically his award for the non veteran who helps out with all these veterans things. And it was pretty awesome because you sit and think to yourself, I told Mike in the middle of the lunch, until I turned to him. I'm like, you're going to go up there and give a speech amongst all these guys.
Toledo
Guys.
Brett
And you, you're a radio guy. You're a. You're a tool. And he goes, I know. I don't know what I'm. I got to get up there. I gotta. I gotta get a speech. I know, but keep it short because like I was saying before, you're a tool. You and I are together at lunches and drink beer and stuff. I know. They told me, I'll go up there. He went up there. He gave the most beautiful speech I've heard in years. And my eyes welled up and I'm like, God damn it, broom head. The tool almost made me cr.
Toledo
That's why he wanted you there.
Brett
That must have been it. Yeah. I don't know why he asked me. I was there when Boggs was there. Like a super Nintendo of Schools. Boggs, dude who runs Mountainside Fitness, was sitting there, sitting with Brian Hatch, the lady who runs the news department at kjr. Is there a woman named Eileen who I hadn't seen in years? You knew her. She worked at the Old station with us. And. And Broomhead's like, I'm gonna make you cry now. Boo, boo, boo hoo hoo. And I'm like, it's like the Cowardly Lion, a mess. I kept it together, but I'm telling you, I got in the car and I melted down. So that's very rare. So it needs to be acknowledged that I am human. I think that's the most important thing to take from that. And also, I just got an email from a guy that says, a month ago, speaking of golf, my best friend since high school walked off the golf course on the 12th hole with us when he found out that I voted for Trump. We hardly ever talk politics. I think he just assumed my opinion. I'm a middle of the road guy, but I voted for Trump. I'm not crazy. But this guy won't be my friend anymore. What should I do? Do good riddance, move on, Peace out. I will have to say that is a. That's a lefty thing. I don't think Trump people will dis. They don't. Trump people are smug and mean to Democrats and they do say snide, mean stuff a lot of the times to people who are there. But Democrats, like, totally and completely quit on someone who they're friends with. Doesn't add up. I've had people do it when they thought I was supporting Trump. Like, I'm like, I'm not supporting anybody. I think they're all adults. I think. I don't know. I'm not tribal about any of this. I look first at how stupid they are. They're jackasses. Some ideas one side has, I love, some I don't. I probably lean more politically to the right than I do to the left, but liberally, I'm all left. I don't care what you do. And that keeps me in the middle. But I had two people say, never contact me again. I didn't realize you were a Trumper.
John Holmberg
Peace out.
Brett
And I'm like, we've been friends for years.
Toledo
It's. It's weird.
Brett
And that they had no idea. We had a nice day together. It is a strange thing, though, to have to enjoy somebody's company and then go, oh, it's like I said. And also, I like to date people under the age of six. Now that I understand. It's like, oh, my God, that was quite a reveal.
Toledo
I'm calling somebody.
Brett
But they're like, when you vote, I mean, you can't believe it. I'm like, now all I said, if I remember Correctly. This was a couple years ago ago. All I said was. And this was when Biden was going heavy, and I just didn't like him. And I said, I don't like him. And I said, you know, in the first term of Trump, I started to kind of get it. And then Covid happened, and it changed everything else. And they're like, well, if you're a Trumper, you're an idiot. And I'm like, now, hold on. You don't know who's at the table here. You don't know who you're talking like, you're assuming everybody's just in line with you. And I had voted for an independent. I think I wrote down myself to be president in 2016. And he just assumed that since I didn't like his guy, I voted the other way. And he. I haven't talked to him since. This was probably in 2017.
John Holmberg
No kidding.
Brett
No, I haven't talked to him since. I. All right, cool by me. And I've reached out since, and just no response. But he, you know, that was the end of it. And it was. And I sensed it at the end of the lunch. And he had told other friends, he's like, well, I'm not gonna hang out with Trumper. Didn't give me an opportunity to say anything. Doesn't make any sense. We were having a nice day, and all I said was, be careful. You don't know who's at the table. Oh, you're a Trumper. I didn't say that. I'm not a fan of your guy, but I don't think this needs to go this direction. And I don't think any of us are.
John Holmberg
Have a nice life.
Brett
Right? I don't think that's a thing. So if a dude leaves the. I think that's it. I think you just have to go, all right, well, if, you know, if you're that fragile, you're gonna leave the golf game because somebody that you were. He literally just walked out, just left the thing. When he found out the guy voted for Trump, according to this email, he got problems. Does he, though? I think he's. I don't think he's alone.
Toledo
No, no, the other guy. Yeah, yeah, the guy walked.
Brett
That's what I'm saying. I don't think he's alone. I don't think that guy's. I think his problems are not problems to the people who believe like him. I think the. I think he would say, you've got problems. I. I think that that's the divide.
Toledo
Continue to play with you and.
Brett
Right.
Toledo
I'm fine with you. You.
Brett
Yep.
Toledo
Having that stance. It is what it is.
Brett
Yeah. Well, you're not saying that he thinks you're of a Nazi regime.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
And you just don't.
Toledo
Well, I mean, you know, when you're talking about a little bit, it reminded me when, you know, Kaepernick did his thing.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
There are still people that are like.
Brett
Well, they lost it.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
Nobody wanted to see why.
Toledo
I think Trump's part for him, for a lot of those people started on January 6th, and that's.
Brett
Well, they hated him before. January 6th is an exclamation point on a lot of nonsense. It was a. It was a punctuation on a lot of nonsense. But if I enjoy your company. And again, I always put it in this perspective. If she was hot and you were at the bar and you were a wild one side or the other, and I mean, like, full out. See, that's the thing I think about Republicans is they would, like. If a hot girl at a bar was a complete. Like, we'd bang out, like, I think that would be aoc. No matter what she believes or what you. Where you stand, you'd probably climb on that.
John Holmberg
Tap it.
Brett
Right. I don't think that I'm marrying. I don't think. I don't think that when people who are staunchly on the other side see a hot Republican woman, they think the same thing. I think that's a big difference. It's like Republicans will bang a socialist, but socialists won't bang a Republican because they think they'll catch it or something. And I think Republicans want to dominate a socialist or a lefty, and the lefties don't want to give any pleasure to that side. I think that's the. The basics of it all. But if your friend left the golf course because you have political divide, for one thing, and up to that point, he had no idea. Your friend's kind of a douche.
Toledo
He was probably down a couple of holes, too.
Brett
Maybe he was losing. He had the snake, but maybe he was holding the snake, and he was holding the snake on 13. It starts looking pretty bad to get out of it. He's holding the three. He's probably gonna three putt again and double that. It's gonna end up at 150 bucks a guy.
Toledo
You know what you guys are?
Brett
You guys are Trumpies. You. You're all about money. I'm leaving. It's like, wait a second. You got the snake. You can't leave with the snake. Todd. Yeah, it's crazy. See? And I'm getting yelled at by this guy. It's not about political affiliation. It's about morals and values. If you support a felon, a convicted sex offender, racist, narcissist, pathological, lying moron on. It shows about your character. You're willing to put aside basic human moral values and empathy. But you were getting along with me just fine before that.
John Holmberg
That's both sides of politics.
Brett
So, yeah, it's.
Toledo
I don't know who you're.
Brett
I mean.
Toledo
Pulling for.
Brett
Yeah, I don't like voting for anybody because I feel like that about all of them. And then, you know, says they disown people because they don't think like them. Just a party of tolerance and acceptance. Acceptance. And there's the fight. I got one guy on this side saying, oh, you're supporting a sex offender or a rapist. And I'm, you know, I'm not. I think he's hysterical. I'll be honest with you with that. And I don't think he's a rapist, per se.
John Holmberg
I can't wait till the presidency's over and we have men on Fridays for his night at Stand Up Live or something.
Brett
You know, I mean, sometimes.
John Holmberg
Great.
Brett
I don't want to laugh. And I'm like, this guy's killing. You see the thing yesterday? The guy is in there, he's taking the fat shot. And I'm like, oh, he's poking. He's talking about Ozempic. I don't know why, but it's hysterical. He's doing a fat shot. That's what he does. Yeah, but I mean, if you were getting. That's my point. And to this guy who emails, like, if you were friends with me from high school and we're buddying up and you had no idea. Do you think my support of. And I'm not, but do you think my support of a president you don't like or you have certain feelings about makes me that. That I support all rapes and all felons and all. Like, I've got.
Toledo
I guess so.
Brett
I got friends who were felons. Do I support what they did? No. Are they continuing to commit felonies? No. They did their time. Yes. And I understand your argument there, but just a little weird. So anybody who wants to just dismiss you. I've had people say that. There was somebody on Facebook years ago ago. I don't. I don't care who you are or what you are, if you voted for anything, but these people delete me from Facebook, I don't want to be your friend.
John Holmberg
I've had that and I've done it. Okay, cool. Peace out. I'm out.
Brett
I don't think people realize that that's kind of an immoral way to handle stuff. It's weird. We live in a weird time with that. I don't know.
John Holmberg
It's even so much as the people that drive Teslas now getting their cars keyed. And Nazi scientists.
Brett
I saw one yesterday. It was a cool ass Cybertruck. Because I still think they're neat. I know they're for douchebags, but they're neat. And this went by. It had an army green wrap on it. Not camouflage, but that mash tent green. And I'm like, oh, that's cool. Even Megan looked and said, that one's kind of neat. And I know on the back I'm like, oh, it's been vandalized because it had spray paint on it. But then I realized, oh, that's intentional, because the spray paint looked like graffiti and it said cybertruck. And I'm like, oh, my God, that dude managed to be a huge douche and I haven't even seen him yet. I already knew you were a little douchey for owning it. But then when you spray paint cybertruck and it's got to drip down like you did it with a can of Rust Oleum.
John Holmberg
It was working on the west side. He wants to fit in.
Brett
It was pretty douchey. It was in Chandler. Oh, really? I was meeting my mom for dinner. Yeah. A little strange change, but still kind of cool. It was kind of neat. I liked that. I enjoyed it.
Toledo
I think it was the first. I can't recall, but the first election when it was finished up, that the whole montage of the tears, the people crying.
Brett
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But again, mostly women manipulated editing to make you feel like every single person that didn't get their way was melting down. Down.
Toledo
What are we gonna do?
Brett
Yeah, but that's. I mean, if you show me 20 people and they're all melting down and they're representative of an entire group, you're like, oh, they're all. They're all.
Toledo
Yeah. And I don't. Yeah, I think. But that's the first time I've. I mean, the reactions like that.
Brett
Yeah. Or have you never paid attention? I'm sure there's been plenty of times there's a gag. It wasn't available or was it ever given years ago?
Toledo
You'd never know.
Brett
It probably wasn't presented to you. That way, you know. Know, I'm sure when the Gores lost, there was a gaggle of people crying.
Toledo
There were always. You'd see it at the election parties. They're really sad. The people that worked their butt off for the campaign and they lost.
Brett
You edit and montage up a bunch of crying and it looks. It's funny people. Yeah. This one says, yeah, that guy's right and Clinton was a saint. I didn't mean to start a big fight between everybody, but everybody kind of makes my point is, like, what you're supporting isn't so great. It's time to calm down about that. Your guy is not, you know, an angel. And I don't care who your guy is, your guy's not an angel. Said, of course, John, a Democrat wouldn't bang a hot Republican. That's ridiculous. They all are chicks with dicks like, all right, that's enough. They're not all the black voter. Oh, good lord. I didn't. Oh, I was making a point. This guy made one email comment, is a douchebag friend who walked out of the friendship. All right, this one says, good luck translating this. Hashtag blacks for Trump is how this begins. Both sides. He puts a Z instead of an S are ass. But only one side supports weird pedophiles and girls in men's bathrooms. Hashtag blacks for Trump again. All right, I didn't want to start a fight. See if we all calm down a little bit, maybe the robots are right. Maybe we do deserve a nice smack in the face.
John Holmberg
Somebody said that rap you can get from the factory, from Tesla, the Cybertruck. Yeah, they're staying here.
Brett
I'm not sure, but I don't know. It all seems so stupid. It all seems so dumb. Yeah, and then you get into this. Kevin Leaches completely writes, polarization of voters is the goal of politics and media. It's the divide and conquer theory. You polarize us, make us fight with each other. You can get away with anything you want. It's terrifying. Anyway, what are you gonna do?
John Holmberg
We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?
Byron
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John Holmberg
Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
Byron
That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com Ready.
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Toledo
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Brett
Holmberg's morning sickness and then the other thing is the Diddy trial and starting off on fire. Day one was nice that we already heard about Diddy's girlfriend having a male prostitute pee in her mouth. That's the first day while that was going on. Diddy's three daughters left the courtroom and I found it hysterical that Diddy's daughters were. That's fun to say. Diddy's daughters were there in the first place. We're there for you, dad. We're going to be in the courtroom. I wish you wouldn't like if my dad was on trial for this. This. I'm not going in there to listen to that. I'm not thinking about this.
Toledo
First of all, girls, I appreciate your support. I just don't want you in the.
Brett
Don'T think you need to hear about how often I hire guys.
Toledo
Don't look at the news.
Brett
Don't piss in your stepmom's mouth. That's something you should just ignore, right? And yeah, you're going to hear about it, but you don't need to see the pictures and all the other stuff. So they got up and like that's too far. On day One, the daughter said, that's it. I'm out. They blackjacked the table. They. They were there for the long haul. We're supporting dad. An hour and a half later is like, oh, my God. I didn't know he's doing this. I'm out. Let's go play slots now.
John Holmberg
Is he gonna. Is he gonna testify? Is he gonna get on the stand?
Brett
Sure.
John Holmberg
I mean, is he gonna Johnny Depp this thing? Yes, I did.
Brett
I did. Did you hire a male prostitute to pee in your girlfriend's mouth? Yes. Oh, here we go.
Toledo
They got everything involved in this. Racketeering, you know, that's the.
Brett
Well, they just basically piled everything on. They're going to get him with something. Yeah, he's getting something. Sex trafficking, racketeering, money laundering. He's got all sorts of, you know, sexual abuse. And some of it is like, some of the stuff to me. Look, here's my rule on being peed on or in my mouth. I have the capabilities to stop that by closing my mouth. If my mouth is open and you're peeing in it, I'm complicit.
Toledo
I'm involved.
Brett
I am. What, Participating in the pee and mouth game that's being played now, am I feeling extra pressure from the billionaire mogul in the room? Maybe. Maybe. Do I want him to like me? Maybe. And if that's the price I'm paying because I've decided to lower my standards, to say, well, I'll get something in the end out of this, again, I'm complicit. Now, where it goes sideways is if he sexually assaulted her or started physically attacking her. That's different. Which he did. There's video of that, and that's what's on trial. But deep down. And he and his lawyer did a great job of saying, look, we're not asking you to judge him on stuff he's into. He's a swinger. He digs some weird stuff. Just because you don't like it doesn't make it illegal. I don't like being peed on, but there's nothing illegal about it unless it happens. Me walking through the Circle K and a guy runs up and pees on me. But if I'm in a room and a guy's like, I'm gonna pee on you, I'm like, man, I'm like, I don't like it. But all right, nothing. Suddenly, nothing illegal is happening anymore. If Brady just walked over and started to pee on me, and I got on my knees and opened my mouth at that point, that's conspicuous. You go to jail for this.
Toledo
I can't believe I let you do that. Take that.
Brett
Now who's the mogul? Big fell? I, I, I read some of that yesterday. I'm like, all right, you were at the sex party. It got a little out of hand. At a certain point, you have to say that got out of hand. Hey, next time, I don't want to do that. And if they do it again and your mouth opens again, you're like, I told you. I told you. I don't. That's a tomorrow. Shut up. Here we go again. You're kind of in on it.
Toledo
You've been drinking. Snorted some Adderall.
Brett
Yeah. I don't feel sorry for anyone whose mouth is open while urine's hitting them. That's an easy stop to me. That's really Brady. Come here. Come try to pee in my mouth. And watch how fast I stop it. I won't even use my hands. Oh, my mouth is closed now. You're just peeing on my face. That's gonna result in a fight. But I didn't get any in my mouth. Also, another defense mechanism I made use turning my head. It seems like a pretty reasonable way to get the pee away from your mouth.
Toledo
Hole gun defense works pretty good, too.
Brett
Sure. Yeah, yeah.
Toledo
Hurt the barrel.
Brett
The RCAT redirect, that's. This thing has one barrel. Push it to the side, punch at it, too. Give it a nice push, and then grab that and break it back. You got to control. Control it and then attack. Then the takeaway is the part of our kit that's hard, but you can do it. I just. Yeah. I struggled with the details of the entire thing, but I do like that the daughters are there. We love you, dad. Hang out here. We're gonna make sure that we're unified. Oh, my God. I gotta get out of here. I gotta go. I gotta go. This is disgusting. He did. He's a jerk. It did not. It didn't. It wasn't a good look on day one. That the family already said. All right. That's all I can, I can support. Report none of this past that he didn't tell them. Hey, tomorrow, some details about a lot of urine. And I play, and I do a lot of urine stuff.
Toledo
I can't imagine.
Brett
I mean, yeah, the daughters, they had to know.
Toledo
Mom and dad. No, you don't need to.
Brett
We're gonna support you, son. Like, is anything you need to tell us before we sit in there? Nope. I don't think anything's gonna Surprise you. Except for that. Well, maybe there's some urine stuff that might make you crazy. The urine thing is, look, you're gonna hear some stuff. Yeah. And then. But that's the thing that was crazy is that that wasn't denied in the opening statements. His lawyer, like, there's a lot of weird stuff. Even I was like, that's weird. But none of it was illegal. Everything was consensual. And I kind of have to agree with that if I'm a juror. And, like, was her mouth open? Yep. Was it pride open? Was there, like, a thing in it that made it so she couldn't close it? Nope.
Toledo
People holding her down. No.
Brett
Even if you're holding me down, it's like. It's hard to feed a baby that.
Toledo
Doesn'T have something there. You're being. That's being forced. If you're being held down.
Brett
If you're being held down. Yeah, you're physically being assaulted and screaming. No, that is something right there. But I mean, like, you plug a baby's nose to get the spoonful of food in and then open their mouth. You try to feed a dog a pill, Their first defense is keep your mouth shut. They know.
Toledo
Now, why did you have the scuba mask on?
Brett
Right. I didn't want to get it in my eyes. Oh, oh, I see. If somebody's peeing on my face there, I have one thing. I know maybe I'm gonna get some on my face. That's probably gonna to happen. And I can't really do much about my ears, but it's not going in my mouth if I don't want it to. When that goes, it's up. How you doing? That's. Even if it's against my will peed on, I can. Like, if a homeless guy attacked me and started to pee on me, I can guarantee you one thing. It's not going in my mouth. Less. Less I want it to, because that's an effort on my end to go, ah, ah, I can make thing I have. That's the strongest muscle in your body, by the way, your jaw. You clamp that thing down and nothing's going in. Pretty sure you can control that. So I'm not really a big one for this peed on me thing being a bad deal.
Toledo
The Max show, the pit deals with something like that getting peed on. Yeah, yeah.
Brett
I'm pretty sure that's always considered sensual. If you get pee in your mouth, it would have to be a hell of a moment. That's a. That's The Luke Skywalker. 2 meter shot. If my mouth happens to be gaping open and you.
John Holmberg
Two meters, you.
Brett
You hit it with the p. It's impressive. It's amazing.
John Holmberg
Peter north on the other side.
Brett
Yeah. I mean, half the time a guy would try to pee in my mouth and just say, negative, negative. Like, they would be, get out of here, Wedge. Get out of here, Wedge. We don't need you anymore. Then that would be the only. But I would have to be pretty ready for pee in the mouth. To get pee in my mouth. That would be shocking because it almost.
Toledo
Sounds like they were staging it more than anything. Like it wasn't. Like, it's surprise. She turns around, right?
Brett
Oh, she was in the middle of a sex act and he was watching, and then he suggested pee in her mouth.
Toledo
Right.
Brett
This is not.
Toledo
It looks like things were going on. Things were happening.
Brett
Kyle asked, did she swallow? All right. I didn't get to that point of the trial. Some of it, yes. If she didn't spit, you must acquit. Kyle Pierce says, I agree. I'm not a P. Diddy fan, but I think this one we can dismiss. I think they're trying to set him up as a weirdo and, like, make her a victim.
Toledo
But, I mean, it'll be interesting. See how that juror.
Brett
Yeah, Jurors don't like. I mean, but to me, I just look at her like, all right, your mouth was open. You know, it's kind of like being really, really fat. And you watch somebody eat pizza, it's like, this is your fault. At a certain point, you just keep opening your mouth and putting pizza in it. You can't blame your glands anymore. Smart. Thyroid is the thing. I got a little time with thyroid. I'm on the fenpic. Yeah, but you keep eating pizza. I know. Not as much as before. Yeah, it's your fault I cut pop.
John Holmberg
Out of my life.
Brett
Yeah, I drink Diet Coke now. All right, this is your fault. All of this is your fault. No, I'm a victim. I don't think so. You keep opening your mout. Anyway, the Diddy trial is going to get. If this is day one and the family's already quit, imagine what is coming up. Imagine throwing everything. Oh, imagine what the prosecution's going to start doing. Like, they're going to go nuts. If day one's like, we're going to start with the piss in the mouth thing, and then we're going to get to the heavy hitting stuff a couple days from now, see if we can get the family to shake a little and the girls, just all three of them, like, that's you done. Let's go grab something to eat. Let's go. Go to get a couple salads. Because I don't want to hear what dad did if we're. If we open with the male prostitute. He hired Pete on her and then you. And then the best part is that Diddy was complaining that they weren't using enough baby oil. The dude had thousands of bottles of baby oil. The problem how. How much baby oil does he want on a body?
Toledo
Now this whole activity you're talking about being peed in the mouth happened, and two years later, you're still in the house, still together.
Brett
Right? Look.
Toledo
And you know, there's palace of baby oil.
Brett
Yeah, a lot of baby oil. Now, here's the thing. I think about the baby oil. He may have overreacted to the lack of baby oil in this particular case, and then said, that's never gonna be a problem again. And then ordered like, 10,000 bottles maybe. And kind of like me, I ordered some. What I thought, again, I do this a lot. I was on Amazon in the middle of the night, and I thought, oh, you know what I need is some of those foam golf balls so I can chip in the backyard without floating one over and, you know, breaking windows in somebody else's yard if I skull one or something. So I ordered a box of those, and it said four. Oh, that seems about right. So four. I should probably get four of those. So I got four. But what I didn't realize was there's four in each package. So now I have 16 box. I did it with the things. I have 16 boxes, and I did that with the bike racks.
Toledo
You can have a mini ball pit.
Brett
I do. I have lots of little balls. Lots of little balls. Like said the Catholic church. I have lots of little balls in my backyard. But I. But I did it with the bike racks when I thought I was ordering one, and it comes in a pack of four. And I'm like, I'll get four of those. And there's. Now I have 16 bike racks. And I did it with this again. Well, when it says four, I thought that was a sleeve. There's four per box. Quantity. Well, I'll take four of those. 16 of them should get me through. I have well past 6:16 at this point. A big box showed up in my house.
Toledo
You've done well.
Brett
I don't do good with quantity. I don't understand it when it says four. That's what I think. I'm getting 4 of the item I'm ordering, not four boxes of, says four per package. I'm like, oh, that makes sense. I'll get four packs. That's 16. No, no. Four sleeves per package. Four. And now I've got. I've got way too many, but that's what I think. P. Diddy. Diddy. We now have enough baby oil for that sex act. That's never gonna be a problem. P. Diddy's house again. Yet. And then he wanders over the Internet, clicks, And instead of 100, he moved the decimal point. It wasn't there. And he accidentally did 10,000. I don't know why there's a decimal point on that, but there was.
John Holmberg
He's gonna call you in for a character witness.
Brett
That's right. This guy gets it.
Toledo
He's not gonna take it back.
Brett
He's an idiot. On the Internet too. I would vouch for the idea that it's very easy to accidentally order 10,000 babies oils.
Toledo
I'm sure he had some laughs with that. Showing people the baby oil. Yeah.
Brett
Come in this room. It's all baby.
Toledo
I'm stocked.
Brett
I'm never gonna run out. What is baby oil for other than sex? I've never known. I don't have any of it. After the P. Didy thing, I went through a. I'm like, do I have baby oil? Is that in the. I don't. And I don't know what I would. I've never gone, oh, I don't have any baby baby oil. Outside of maybe wanting to have rubber sheet sex. I don't know what it's for.
Toledo
Moisturize the skin.
Brett
Is it. It's awfully.
Toledo
Does it help with rash?
Brett
I don't know. That's what I'm asking. Does it do. I don't know what it does.
John Holmberg
Moisturizer, makeup remover, shaving cream substitute.
Brett
What?
John Holmberg
Soothing dry skin. Temporary tattoo removal, Temporary massage oil, bath oil.
Brett
It makes your tattoo invisible for a little bit.
John Holmberg
They'll just like when you get one of the ones at the fair or something and somebody draws.
Brett
Oh, a temporary tattoo. Not temporary tattoo.
Toledo
Yeah, you can put it.
Brett
Temporary tattoo, hair care. Got it. Yeah. You don't need. You don't have any of those.
John Holmberg
Untangling jewelry.
Brett
No kidding.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Wow. I'm learning something today.
Brett
It's magic.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
Never once is like get pee out of a pillow.
Toledo
Chains every once in a while.
John Holmberg
Clean stained hands. I know. Any cuticle oil?
Brett
None of us in this room have any. I've guaranteed. Do you have anything?
John Holmberg
Don't have any.
Brett
I Looked all over the house. None.
John Holmberg
I don't think we do. I haven't looked but I don't think we do.
Brett
And a woman would put she would never buy baby oil to remove makeup. They get fleeced at Sephora there's like 15 different products that cost way too much money that supposedly saves 37 for an ounce or something like this is my makeup remover. I got one of these soap and water that's so harmful to your skin. Oh well this other stuff's harmful to the bank account but it doesn't seem all right. You have thousands of dollars of makeup remover and tiny little box. Go get some baby oil. If he did he didn't seem to mind. His skin looks great.
John Holmberg
Oh now we're getting uses great for your tires. Shine up them tires.
Brett
Oh it's better than armor baby oil I guess. Doesn't that leave like grease all over your garage?
John Holmberg
You'd think I don't know.
Brett
That seems sort of soul glowy for the whole like my couch is going to get stained to feel this is for the garage floor is going to be covered in glop and it's like an ice rink out there.
John Holmberg
It's funny how the government goes after you or invades you if you have oils Iraq and now did he oil.
Brett
Rich nations anyway so if you're peeing in somebody's mouth or you feel like gosh I wish my husband wouldn't pee in my mouth anymore. Shut it.
John Holmberg
This guy uses it on slip and slides makes it extra slippery.
Brett
Well we have 11 year old from the 70s who's got a slip and slide.
John Holmberg
Jonathan apparently does.
Brett
Hi I just emailed from my time portal during the Carter administration Just thought I'd let you guys know they put.
Toledo
It out on our in our neighborhood it's probably set up the the viz queen the big oh yeah this is plastic the hills usually like graduations they.
John Holmberg
Do slip inside summer parties pie eating contests.
Brett
Yeah in the storm drains. There's a lot going on in your storm worm drains slip and slide. Are they trying to get you to go down the slip and slide with your mouth open? They just feed your pies as you pass.
Toledo
If that was part of the program maybe now the judge will be.
Brett
Shot past you all try to get some pie in his mouth. Not pee pie anyway close your mouth if you want one if you don't want in your mouth. It's easy it's just a thing I don't know they evidently they put baby I've gotten four or five emails saying they put it in the whole thing. Water.
Toledo
Yeah, that's what I said.
Brett
Baby oil.
John Holmberg
Father Dale does.
Brett
Oh, yeah. He puts some baby juice. He puts some baby liquid in there. Some young liquid goes in the holy water because it's usually he's washing his hands, and it just gets off his hands and back into the bucket of holy water. Father Dale had a problem. Anyway, just saying. PGD trials. Interesting. Sorry, Brett. Go ahead. What do you got on the big board of musical treats? I go on and on.
John Holmberg
Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And don't worry about the baby oil over there. They're going to take care of you with all the bike specials you can handle. They got a full line from the. The new pivots that just came out. Santa Cruz, Rocky Mountain, you name it, they got it. If you're not in the market for a new bike, well, just go get that old bike in the garage. Fix best wrenches in town. I got E Bikes. You got whatever you're gonna need. And it's all at action rideshop, actionrideshop.com at two locations right there on Power Road and McDowell and right off of Gilbert Road and Southern UG.
Brett
Guy says only show in the city, maybe in the country that sells. Says, here's a segment called Times I would be okay with pee in my mouth and on my face compared to the Times I am not okay with it. Yeah, that's right. There's times that you give the thumbs up or the thumbs down to that. So far, I've spent my entire life thumbs down to that. It happened once with the Bryan Adams girl.
John Holmberg
The baby oil.
Brett
Yeah. No, no, no, no. The people. She lost control of it while I was down there. She was actually up on top there, and I was laying on my back, and she was my face, and I was getting. I was getting it done. Getting it done, son. And the next thing you know, she started, like, screaming and then lost control of her bladder. Now, that was kind of an unfair. But was I complicit in the act that I take. That's the cost of doing business, I think. You spend time down there. No, there's a risk she lost control. Dr. Drew was on. What the hell happened there? Female orgasmic incontinence was the first time I ever heard that phrase. And I threw my arms in there. I felt like, oh, I made her bladder retarded for a few seconds. It didn't know what to do. And it just unleashed on me like a squid ink. She just. It was her defense mechanism. For too strong and powerful of an orgasm.
Toledo
And he said some would say it's a wish, risk, reward.
Brett
Well, sure, I felt great about. I'll be honest with you. I felt great about it. You. You lick a girl where she can't control her body functions, you feel pretty good about yourself for. For a few seconds, then you go towel off and realize how gross it was. But in the movie moment, I knew how Michael Jordan felt after the sixth title. I was pretty proud of it. I was pretty proud of myself. That was pretty neat. Anyway, what do you want to do?
John Holmberg
Primus up on the list, Mammoth Dire Straits, Money for nothing. We were talking about Sopranos yesterday. Somebody wants a theme song for that. Foo Fighters, Learn to fly for Trump's Plane, Velvet Revolver, Stone Sour System of a down so oil 7 dust, slipknot crying like a. For everything going on right now with those politicians and stuff.
Brett
Everything.
John Holmberg
Put your love in. Put. Put my love into you for P. Diddy.
Brett
Okay. I Love into you by AC DC I don't even know that one. I can imagine what it sounds like. It's an acdc. Yeah. Geez, there's a lot of them up there. I'll let you pick it. That's too many for me. I can't make choices like this. We can. Put My love into you by acdc. I want to hear it now. Is it a good one?
John Holmberg
I don't remember it.
Brett
I don't either. I don't. Well, ACDC writes the same song over and over, so this is it.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's on Back in Black.
Brett
It is. Put my love and use on Back in Black. I know that album up and down. Oh, yeah? You give me a thousand guesses as to. All right, we're playing this. That's a great song. Put my love into you is what that's called. Well, John, I got a gun to your mother's head. To get a thousand guesses at what this is called, I would have never guessed. Put my love into you. How about that? What an idiot. All right, let's do it. It's ACDC then. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. It's John Holmer here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Twenty years ago, the Core Institute began. And it's a better way of caring for people. And there are a lot of people who are coping with pain in their bodies every day. The Core Institute specializes in helping the pain disappear. And I speak from experience. Here I am now living pain free and enjoying all the things I absolutely love to do. So if you're living in pain, you don't have to anymore. The Core Institute has been here for 20 years and are going to be here for a lot longer than that. And you can stop living with pain and start saying yes to all the things you love to do. Go to the core institute.com all right.
John Holmberg
HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feldface performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see.
Brett
For yourself on that one.
John Holmberg
And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com, desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Are.
Brett
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Brady
And help keep our electrical operators and.
Brett
Machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is.
Brady
An equal opportunity employer.
Brett
Holmberg's Morning sickness the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. People said, I'm getting a lot of people talking about getting peed on. It's an epidemic. All my emails are like, I got peed on once. Actually started a whole thing from like, okay, that's enough. I'm not listening. I don't know that it could start a thing for me. It just seems so messy, the cleanup. I don't think I'm against it per se. Just it would have to be like, it'd have to be arranged or have to be plastic down.
John Holmberg
As long as it's not my room.
Brett
Yeah, right. Yeah. As long as it's not my mattress. That when I'm doing, you know, sheets on the bed later, I look and I see that big weird stain. I'm like, this is gross. I sleep in a pee bed and I'm not doing that. Yeah, you gotta put. You gotta either get. All right, let's go into the bathtub. It just seems so. I don't have a room for it. You have to have a room for that. Not that into the waterworks. Some guys are. One girl emailed me and said that she was doing it to some guy she was with. We had to look up what FWB meant. I just thought it was effing white boy. And she said I was with an fwb. And I'm like, oh, all right. I thought it was slang, like street.
John Holmberg
Slang with the old guys here looking up.
Brett
Yeah, I didn't know. That's too much to figure out. Out what happened to words and. But it was a good one for friends with Benny's. But she said she was in the shower with the guy and he did it. She just guzzled it right down. She said, because that's what I do. And I'm like, oh, well, thanks for sharing. You're. You're allowed to email every day with your stories. You sound like one of the good ones. She said, we had a good laugh about it afterwards. And I'm like, I don't know that. That's not funny to me. No, I'd be pretty upset.
John Holmberg
That's disgusting.
Brett
Yeah. It's a shocker. But I did again. You know, you start playing around with the toothpaste tube with the cap off, some toothpaste is gonna get on. Yeah. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We're gonna get an update on Brady's Mother's Day, the backlash from yesterday, a lot of emails, a lot of people taking her. Hey, we need to know Brady's story. We'll get that a little later. Right now, it's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows brought to you. Buy All Pro Shade Concepts. You can get your free installation on all products and a free estimate. They'll come out and give you the estimate. And then you're like, I love this. They give you the plan and then they install it for free. It's all included in the price. Custom built to block up to 95% of the sun's UV rays. That's huge. Dust and wind gets cut down. The temperatures can drop up to 20 degrees. Just for taking that sunny space that's by your house that you'd love to be part of, but gets ruined by direct sunlight. The shades change at all. Plus they're automatically retractable. They don't have to be out all the time. It's up to you when you want them out. Unless you leave them out and then the wind blows and then they go back on their own. It's a beautiful thing I popped in yesterday. You keep them out almost always.
Toledo
No, this was not all the way out. It's about four feet.
Brett
But you do it for just in case you're on a part of it. That's what I'm saying.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
You keep it out all the time.
Toledo
Most of the time. Keep it all the way out.
Brett
Yeah. And then the wind will get going and it's just like we're gonna suck back here.
Toledo
First time to come in.
Brett
That's pretty awesome. Yeah. And it's all automatic. They're the best in the business for a reason. All prochade.com Brady reporter Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.
Toledo
Hello world.
Brett
Hi.
Toledo
Happy National Apple Pie Day.
Brett
That sounds pretty good.
Toledo
And National Crouton Day.
Brett
Not on an apple pie.
John Holmberg
I didn't know croutons got their own day.
Brett
They got a day, man. It get kind of overshadowed by apple pies because if you give me a bowl of croutons and a slice of apple pie, in the end there's going to be a bowl of croutons left.
Toledo
A couple of basis fun facts. If bees were paid minimum wage, a jar of honey would cost $182,000 in labor.
Brett
You can't Quantum. No. They're working eight hour days at minimum wage and you're paying all of them. I think we cut back on the workforce a little bit, don't you?
Toledo
That's why the bees have it figured out. They can. They have one specific worker bee, right?
Brett
Well, they only have a single job. Yeah.
Toledo
Then you got the drones that just meet or just mate. And I don't know how it works.
Brett
In the bee kingdom, but all I do know is that they have one singular job as an entire specific species. They don't have a TV wing. They don't have entertainment.
Toledo
They got bills.
Brett
They don't have nothing. They just make the honey. And we're paying all of them minimum.
Toledo
Wage and ever go on strike.
Brett
That's the dumbest thing. Are we. Is someone basically claiming we're enslaving bees and they're underpaid? That's kind of what that sounds like to me. That that's a super AOC moment.
Toledo
The design of Apple Apple's earbuds was inspired by the look of the stormtroopers in Star Wars.
Brett
No kidding.
Toledo
The British pound is the oldest currency that's still in use. It was established 1200 years ago.
Brett
Isn't that bee thing kind of like paying dolphins to swim? Like they don't have a choice.
John Holmberg
Yeah. But the Bees are.
Brett
But if a bee goes rogue and says, I want to be a dancer.
John Holmberg
Yeah, we're not getting that. No. Dolphins, they'll kill.
Brett
Kill him. You don't know that. There's a lot of tuna that isn't tuna. Yeah. Do we do. Yeah. Do we shrimp? Do we pay them for swimming and growing? Because that's essentially their one job is to be our food. That's dumb.
Toledo
Producing a spider web.
Brett
Who? The spiders?
Toledo
Yeah, the spiders.
Brett
No, I'm just talking like their natural.
Toledo
Job, kind of the. Sure, that's kind of a job.
Brett
That's all they do. Spiders have other stuff. Bees are just like honey, honey, honey, honey, sex, sex, honey.
Toledo
Go get some pollen. Go get some pollen.
Brett
They're gonna do it whether we paid them or not. If we all of a sudden, if they went on strike, sting that bitch that stepped on me, then all the other bees would be like, no, we just make it. It's all we do. It's dumb.
Toledo
An ER doctor in Jacksonville.
Brett
It's like paying Mexican grandmas more than 7 cents for tamales. It's what they do. They make that Home Depot bucket of masa or whatever, put that one thin string of cruddy meat in the middle and walk around and get in the husks. Tamales need to go any.
Toledo
Our doctor in Jacksonville, Florida is trending after he revealed the six word phrase he sees as a huge red flag. Specifically when a guy says it. All right, Whenever he hears it, he assumes something very serious is going on with the man. To health until proven otherwise. So the phrase is, my wife made me come in.
Brett
Oh yeah, that's. Yeah, because. Yeah, very true. That's a huge red flag. And what do you mean when? Especially when a man says it. What? When would a woman say that?
Toledo
Well, and he's saying it's both. It's mostly for guys.
Brett
Well, it would always.
Toledo
My mom, if a daughter came in, said, my mom made me.
Brett
Oops, sorry, I don't know already. Almost always a man's phrase to say, my wife made me come in, my.
Toledo
Husband made me come in.
Brett
Suppose.
Toledo
Mostly because men are the ones.
Brett
That we're not going. Yeah, doesn't hurt. You don't go.
Toledo
We got a Texas mother who was sentenced five years in prison for molesting her son's 13 year old friend multiple times. Times, including at one of the kids parties. Natalie Sorrells is her name. 44 years old from Rockwall county in Texas. She was a church volunteer. That's how she got to know the kid. They found Text conversation.
Brett
That's not good.
Toledo
Here's a. She's got five years in prison. $10,000.
Brett
That's it?
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
Whoa. Not bad. Looks a little like Jewel with good teeth. Thirteen year old boy. Do we have the text at all? Was this kid as smooth as the one that was getting on Britney Zamora? He's sixth grade too. Make me feel like a letter. They don't have any text.
Toledo
Yeah they do. They did not.
Brett
It's not bad. She's pretty good.
Toledo
She called the boy babe.
Brett
That's enough. Hey babe, how do you do that?
Toledo
Provided him and his friends with alcohol and tobacco.
Brett
See he got smokes and beer and she got got laid by a 13 year old.
Toledo
The teen also described having sexual contact with her in a car after she picked him up at a football game.
Brett
Weird.
Toledo
Another time they got it on.
Brett
She only got five years. 44 and 13 is a bit of a stretch. That's. I mean I'll say with girls, what do they have to talk about like the new Gunna song?
Toledo
Yeah, that'd be. You could probably talk about that.
Brett
I guess she's like explaining 911 to him and concepts of like, you don't remember this but we had a black president ones.
Toledo
We have five fishermen who spent 55 days adrift at sea. They floated up to the Galapagos islands. After fishing high days they left Peru. There's three Peruvians and two Colombians. They've been missing since mid March. They were found May 7th.
Brett
That's pretty good.
Toledo
Ecuadorian their boat was called.
Brett
Didn't we already talk about this? They were only like 90 miles off the coast the entire time. Earlier this year we talked about this.
Toledo
This was another guy that was Maximo.
Brett
Oh, that's different one. Yeah, that one guy barely left Peru and they didn't find him for days.
Toledo
He was gone for 95 days. Yeah, he was the one that said he survived living eating cockroaches, turtles.
Brett
So this is a different group of people.
Toledo
This is a different.
Brett
The first guy literally left Peru and was 90 miles off the coast of Peru and I couldn't find him.
Toledo
Right. Eating cockroaches, birds and turtles and never.
Brett
Once said maybe I'll go 90 degrees that that way or 90 miles that way. I mean Cubans float over on Home depot boxes pallets. 90 miles on inflatable tires and like fun rafts and they make it 90 miles to Florida. You could figure Peru back, couldn't you?
Toledo
These guys say have to pay attention.
Brett
Where the sun's setting and go the other Way.
Toledo
Well they took off in two days into it. They said they're having trouble spreading with the alternator in the boat. So the boat shut down. Oh now they're float.
Brett
So you just. If there's no other. There's not like one or.
Toledo
I'm just, you know, I'm thinking man. I guess doesn't matter. But you're going out with a. Not a really good boat.
Brett
Yeah, you think so smart enough.
Brady
Your one or idea they'd be spinning.
Brett
Okay. I give you that. They only had one ore. What about.
John Holmberg
Like a radio does this Gilligan's island.
Brett
It is kind of that. What about like. I understand your alternator.
Toledo
The problem is.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
Radios. Radios out.
Brett
Okay. If you're. That's the point. Like you have to have. You gotta have a backup generator or something. You can't just.
Toledo
I'm taking a sat phone with me live off the.
Brett
The alternator.
John Holmberg
If you can afford a sad phone, you can afford a better boat.
Brett
Exactly. I mean this is a cruddy boat is what we're saying. Third world nation cruddy boat. I bet you tons of them get lost out there. Never. We don't even talk about it.
Toledo
We've got three guys that were arrested in Japan for attempting to smuggle hermit crabs out of the country. The suspects were widely were known they're Chinese nationals and they detained them at the amount Mami, which is a southern island where the hermit crabs live. They had three suitcases full. Thousands of hermit crabs. Evidently you could sell the hermit crabs for about $90 a crab.
Brett
Crab in Japan?
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady
Why are they like $3 down at.
Toledo
Because this is an endangered species of hermit crab.
Brett
Oh it's a very special type of crab. But there were three suitcases full of them. So not that endangered really. Yeah.
Toledo
And as they're going through the line they said someone heard some rustling noises going on in the back and they're.
Brett
Fighting out of the suitcase. This is a strong species of hermit crab. I'm not buying they're endangered. If they can bust out of a Samsonite or at least make you know they're in there. Three suitcases full of hermit crabs. That's like that story Anderson Cooper did years ago about how the gorillas were disappearing and they went over the hill and found 107,000 of them. There they are. Oh, they just moved and then you don't hear about. Remember that for like three years.
Toledo
Yeah. They found like 40,000, 111,000.
Brett
It was gorillas and it was overhill and Anderson Cooper was there and CNN was, oh man, we've killed them all. When it's all this forestation and Sunday papers for years and now Internet stuff. They're dead. We killed poaching. It's all terrible. Then you heard, hold on. What was that? I just climbed over hill like, oh, there they are. And they were everywhere. They're like, never mind. And they never did another story about it again. Anderson flew home the next day. It was like, oh crap, I'm an idiot. He's walking around with villagers. We wish we knew. We just. They just. They're gone. We killed them all. I'm pretty sure we killed. Killed them all. It's just poachers killed all. Yeah, they're all gone. There's like eight left. We see a few every once in a while. Not. Not like it used to be. Have you checked over the hill? Nah, we're not going over there. Gorillas.
Toledo
One more.
Brett
Just. Just one. One more. It's a big hill. I'm not climbing. You can climb it if you want.
Toledo
I'm sweating.
Brett
You look really old. No, I'm just prematurely gray. I'm gonna go over the hill.
Toledo
A couple went to a fast food place in Florida and went to a Freddy's Frozen custard and Steak Bucket Burgers and they noticed that instead of their name on the receipt, it just said help. It was obvious. It was big, bold black letters on there. And so there's handwritten back and they're wondering what's going on here. Is someone actually.
Brett
Yeah, somebody need help inside?
Toledo
So they posted something. Oh, that's put up on social media to say what?
Brett
Didn't call the police, but sure that's the best thing you can do.
Toledo
A lot of people said they should let someone know.
Brett
Know. Yeah.
Toledo
Including some police officers that were following the post. So the cops went over there and the police found out.
Brady
What are the cops doing following post?
Brett
Checking out. Oh cool. We got. We got a job, guys.
Toledo
So they went over there. It was an employee that thought that put it on there.
Brett
Oh, it's just a joke.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
Okay.
Toledo
They should charge him.
Brett
There's a picture call. No, he's gonna get fired from Freddy's. But still it's probably okay. The people who were. I bet you get another just be.
John Holmberg
A raising cane next week.
Brett
Right. I think 911 still more relevant than a quick post on your Instagrams.
Toledo
Got a female Amazon delivery driver was caught on security camera going to the restroom on the steps of the family's house at the front porch is having in California Sunday Morning on Mother's Day. She appears to be doing both one and a two. The homeowner says they also found a dirty paper towel on their property. That same morning, the same Amazon delivery woman was caught on another family's camera about a mile away peeing on the brick walkway.
Brett
Good at this.
Toledo
Basically, right next to the package she delivered. She took a proof of delivery photo.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
Apparently she was able to crop her own urine out of the. From the.
Brett
Sure. Or she did.
Toledo
It was very close to it.
Brett
Maybe she did it. The picture and then the pee. I'm not a Sherlock Holmes type, but I'm pretty sure she didn't waste time filtering out the urine. She probably just took the picture before she peed.
John Holmberg
The way these broads can filter nowadays, you never know.
Brett
Brett makes a good point. Why not just filter a package?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
Rather than filter. I dropped it off. Yeah.
Toledo
Amazon confirmed the driver was a contractor working for them. In a statement they said were deeply disturbed. It's unacceptable behavior. The driver. They apologized for the driver and said they're no longer working.
Brett
Can we just get letters that say we're gross? We fired her immediately. Sorry. Instead of we're deeply disturbed. Like. Like we ever expect them to go. What's the biggest big deal?
Brady
Problem is there's no interview process for drivers. All they do is they open up another app and start driving again.
Brett
There's. Yeah, they're starving. They'll take drivers like crazy. There's no limit.
Toledo
Got a little picture of her. So they.
Brett
And she's looking right at the camera. No, she had to pee. And this is a little.
Toledo
That's the P1.
Brett
Yeah. This is a little carved off patio. Or I think she thought I can get away with it here by these trash cans. She's just peeing by the trash package. Yeah. It's close.
Toledo
It kind of looks like there's a little shadowing.
Brett
It's a little too close. She could have moved over closer to the trash cans. I see what she's doing. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she had to pee badly. And you know chicks can't hold it. They're like dogs with tennis balls. The second they feel the tickle of pee, that's all they think about. So she's walking up to that thing. I'll do one more. She couldn't take it.
Toledo
Mitch Hutchcraft is from England. He's an ex Marine. He was on the Royal Marines and he just finished up his little 8,000 mile triathlon.
John Holmberg
Damn.
Brett
That's not a triathlete that's just a lot of. That's excessive.
Toledo
31 years old. He started out. It took them. Let's see how long.
Brett
So that's New York, Louisiana. Back to New York and then somewhere around Denver.
Brady
Oh, it's more than that, isn't it?
Brett
No, it would be 3,001. That's six. And then you get another two. So you know LA, NY, back to LA and then went to Chicago. Okay. It's a lot run.
Brady
Forest run.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
After swimming the English Channel 21 miles, he cycled about seven thou. Almost 8,000 miles from Europe to Dinga in India. In India.
Brett
Okay.
Toledo
He then ran 559 miles to Kathmandu in Nepal.
John Holmberg
Jesus.
Toledo
And then started his trek to Everest base camp.
Brett
So the one.
Toledo
Another 223 miles.
Brady
The one country he decided to run through was India.
Brett
Yeah. Wouldn't you. I would do that, too. I would do there faster. I would be. I would break land speed records if I was in India. Running to whatever's next to India.
Toledo
Then he climbed Everest. And that. That's. That.
Brett
That's pretty good.
Toledo
Now he's.
Brett
That sounds close.
Toledo
On his way down.
Brett
That's closer to 9,000 miles. You got 8,000 biking, you got 21 swimming, another 500 running. Then you got to climb Everest. That's a few miles there.
Toledo
Yeah. So far, the dude. And this is the only thing that he hasn't done. He's also rode 3,000 miles. This was a different deal. Cycled 3,100 miles across North America.
Brett
Have a job.
Toledo
He's raising money for 7Sav SIM, which is a wildlife conservation organization for which he's an ambassador to.
Brett
I need more explanation. It sounds fake to me.
Brady
Sounds like he wanted a free trip.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
Sav.
John Holmberg
What the. India.
Brett
I don't know. What? Sad.
Brady
I didn't say it was a great trip.
Brett
Yeah. I don't know what Sav Sim is, and I'm not gonna ask Brady because I know for sure he didn't look that up.
John Holmberg
Oh, come on.
Brett
I know. The chances are, though, I'm going for that Dallas Mavericks approach there. I got a 1% chance Brady's going to tell me exactly what Sav Sim is.
Toledo
It provides mental health.
John Holmberg
He found veterans he was digging suffering.
Toledo
From post traumatic stress disorder.
Brett
How's that?
Toledo
Similar issues.
John Holmberg
There we go.
Brett
Look at those ceiling tiles. Get that magic eight ball.
Brady
Trying to figure out how to deliver it.
Brett
So it's to save the environment for veterans with ptsd.
Toledo
More or less.
Brett
Yeah. I don't think that's incorrect.
Toledo
Activities.
Brett
Brady What I said was absolute crazy nonsense.
John Holmberg
More or less.
Brett
It's not a more or less. The answer is not more or less to what I said because what I said was stupid on purpose.
Toledo
The last little thing. I don't know if you saw the Kentucky Derby winning jockey, Junior Alvarado, he's been fined for whipping.
Brett
Yeah, he had him too many, many times.
John Holmberg
Oh, there's a limit, Sovereignty.
Brady
Somebody counting?
Brett
Yeah. Yeah, they do. They did, yeah. Horse racing.
Toledo
He whipped it eight times.
John Holmberg
No kidding.
Brett
You're only supposed to go to the.
Toledo
Whip at the end.
Brett
Couple like five, I think is your limit on the last stretch? Okay.
Toledo
Six per race.
Brett
Is it per race? I thought it was just for the last quarter stretch.
Toledo
Jockeys are allowed to whip their horses six times per race.
Brett
Oh, okay. I thought it was just at the end. You were. I knew that they had a limit. So somebody just didn't constantly whip on every.
Toledo
Which is so funny. When I was young, I'm watching the race at the tail end when they're coming up.
John Holmberg
Go to the whip.
Brett
Yeah, you got to go to the whip. That's a real thing in horses.
Toledo
Yeah. So he was. He suspended for two days and show.
Brett
Him he's going to miss zero race.
Toledo
Well, that shows him $62,000 fine for him, which is 20 of his 310. 10,000 that he won at the Derby.
Brett
You don't want to give that up. That's a lot of dough. But still.
Toledo
Yeah. Suspended for two racing days.
Brett
What is that, like Thursday and Friday?
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
What?
Toledo
Pretty much put me in.
Brett
Yeah. Okay. I'm just gonna take the week off then. But he went eight instead of six. That is an egregious. He knows the rules. Yeah, that's a lot of whipping if you only know six. You don't get caught up in the moment if you're a Kentucky Derby. Well, you know, if you're consistently whipping the horse you're blowing. Can't hit him anymore. I hit him. I hit the limit a long time ago.
Toledo
Sovereignty's owner has already said he won't compete in the Preakness. Meaning he can't do the Triple Crown.
Brett
Yeah. Then we're gonna. Anyway he would have to ride another horse. He could win it as a jockey, but the horse. That one isn't going to run.
Toledo
Right. I mean, but they announced that the horse wasn't going to.
Brett
Right. So we had no chance at the Triple Crown. Whether he whipped that thing a thousand times or once.
Toledo
Because it has to be the same jockey, too.
Brett
I think the horse wins the Triple Crown.
Toledo
That's what I'm saying.
Brett
Yeah. The horse can't win the Triple Crown if he doesn't race in all three. I think the jockey can take, like, a personal Triple Crown and say, I won all three races.
Toledo
I was wondering if. It has to be the same on different horses.
Brady
Jockey can win the Triple Crown if you. Three different rides.
Brett
Does anyone.
Brady
They're not going to be on.
Brett
Does anyone give a. If the third race is a different jockey, the horse wins three races. Right. The horse.
Toledo
I got a couple of radio videos. First one's a motorcycle accident.
Brett
Okay.
Toledo
And they're talking to the guy afterwards. He's a little bent up.
Brett
Oh, no.
Brady
Not sure this is real.
Toledo
I don't know either. All right.
Brett
That's why we're on the side of the road.
Toledo
Let you review it.
Brett
Spanish words. I. Everywhere. Is that his leg on his own throat? That head looks. It's like a baby's leg. Yeah, he's pretty messy. Yeah, that looks. If your legs are like that, you're not going to. To be.
Brady
You're not lift.
Brett
Chitter chatting and lifting your.
Brady
You don't have the abs to lift yourself.
Brett
Well, maybe he's in shock. Brady makes a good point. He could be AI, though. I'm going to lean towards AI on that one because it was just poorly done, but. Yeah.
Brady
Just looks like a doll leg.
Brett
Pretty sure you'd just be. I don't know what he was saying either. He might have just been saying silly stuff. True.
Toledo
Next one's a guy getting out of his car and then getting scraped by another car going by, the door open.
Brett
Sitting there. He's getting the stuff out of the car. Shuts the door, walking by. Here comes another car. It's a little too close to the park. Oh, it took them both down.
Toledo
Removal.
Brett
Oh. Hit so hard. It opened the door he was getting out of again. Well, that is a. That's a mob hit, man. That was intentional. That car is aiming at him and. Oh, does it close?
Brady
Oh, and it just breaks him down this road.
Brett
You see that? Oh, that's not good. I don't want to watch that again.
Brady
Yikes.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Pay your bills.
Brett
Yikes. Next one is pay your debts. What you people do aren't bills. What are you talking. Work with bills. Pay your debts. Have an envelope that's on Shady Debts. I keep an envelope of cash just in case I forget something with Brett. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Here you go. Jesus Christ. Good thing I had that backup money in my pocket.
Toledo
Check out iron Mouth.
Brett
Oh, this guy's Eating. Oh, my God. He's eating fire. He's chewing on molten, like steel that's been heated. Oh, it's wood. Okay. I thought it was a piece of steel. He just takes a piece of coal or like. Yeah, hot stick. And he's wearing a. I don't know, Rockets jersey. I don't know what jersey there, but it's got the Jordan logo on it.
Brady
South Indian suns.
Brett
Yeah, yeah, it's like the volp suns.
John Holmberg
He'd have no problem with a broad piano.
Brett
No, no, he would love that. I'd let somebody piss in my mouth if I was chewing on that.
Toledo
What are the scoville units on that?
Brett
Yeah, he's got. He's going hot ones with that guy.
Brady
Yeah, Sean or whatever his name is. Sean Evans.
Toledo
Oh, do you have the guy?
Brady
It's not pulling up.
Brett
Okay.
Toledo
All right, we'll go with the last one. Here's a prank on his mom in a wheelchair.
Brett
Wheelchair and a birthday cake. Oh. Then he smashes her crippled face right into the cake as she tries to blow out her candles. Great times. With a woman in the background watching. Looks to be. Yeah, it looks to be. It's a group of chol smashing abuelita's face into the cake.
John Holmberg
She's gonna stab him in a use.
Brady
Of somebody else's head.
Brett
One of the ants.
John Holmberg
Abuela's gonna.
Brett
Yeah, she's gonna kill him later.
Brady
That's aggressive. Yeah, that is an aggressive push.
Brett
She's laughing now, but yeah, you're gonna.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And the homie in the background's like, nope.
Brady
You got that on film, right?
Brett
I wasn't anywhere near it. We pranked my grandma at her birthday. It says by smashing her face into the cake, she's going to kill. Yeah, well, Ms. 13 is bad. I told you. This is what they do. They smash old ladies faces and delicious cake.
Brady
What did he go back for seconds? He's the one that put her in the chair in the first place.
Brett
He's trying to break the top of her spine now. She's still moving that upper body too. Well, roll up, abuelita. Get her real close.
John Holmberg
All right, Brady, here's some fast food for you.
Brett
All right, An Asian lady eating a meal at a fast food restaurant. There's a big cockroach just landed on her trip. She put it in her sandwich. She's eating the sandwich with a huge roach she just picked up with her hip.
Toledo
That's fake.
Brett
I don't know. Look, what is it about Asians eating that makes me want to vomit? That's not fake.
John Holmberg
I don't think that's fake.
Toledo
I think it's a robot roach.
Brett
That's dangerous. Then lose a filling. Oh, my God. That is. That roach is the size of a computer, Matt.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
Oh, she snags it right off the table and eats it.
John Holmberg
All right, Careful with the zipper.
Brett
There's a zipper? Oh. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. It's trapped in her labia.
Toledo
Oh, yeah.
Brett
What do you mean, oh, yeah? Yeah.
Toledo
Oh, give me some more.
Brett
Day two at the diddy trial, man. Wow. That made me stand up. That was a zippers trapped in a woman's labia. Yeah.
Brady
Just the right side, right? I mean, well, yeah, both, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brett
It's not like it's a big zipper.
John Holmberg
There's one of those countries we never want to go to.
Brett
All right, here comes a big poop truck. A poop truck in a car that just can't stop. Evidently, no brakes smashes in. Is that a tuk tuk? You know what? You're fine. Hold on, guys. I'll take care of this. You're fired. I don't want you around anymore at all. Yeah, you're out. We're done. We need a witness for this. I think you guys saw. He's out. And also, their boxes are in my office. You go empty mine and put yours in. Get out. Toque to.
John Holmberg
This one's just entitled. I don't think she liked that.
Brett
Your cruddy country knowledge sucks. All right, all right. This is a woman giving a mouse hug.
Brady
Aggressive.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
Stay right there.
Brett
Done this before, I think. Oh, God. She just threw up on him. Loads of loads of loads. Oh, my God. Come on.
Brady
She's got a good tan line.
Brett
Show that again.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brett
She's a pro. She can't be shocked by what happens at the end, but she sure is. Yeah.
John Holmberg
I think she was trying to pull out, and he's like.
Brett
Day three.
John Holmberg
At the diddy trial, and then we'll just end with some more food for Brady spaghetti.
Brett
Oh, there's a butt. There's a butt. Too close.
Toledo
Marinara.
Brett
Oh, he's pouring it into her pants. She now has pantyhose filled with spaghetti and sauce in it. And I have a feeling she's gonna make more sauce. She's rubbing it around in her pantyhose, and now it's. Oh, now she's taking her pantyhose off. And now she's just working it into her body. There's noodles and all sorts of stuff being stuffed inside. What am I looking. Oh, now there's a guy involved and they're having Italian sex.
Toledo
That's the sausage.
Brett
It's Italian night in Tokyo. Sausage on that spaghetti, lot of noodles and mama's gravy.
Toledo
I don't know.
Brett
Disgusting. No, she's not Asian. I thought for some reason this was an Asian thing. Noodles, I guess. And now, now they're just using the noodles as some sort of weird hand thing. Yeah, we got it. All right. He's going to have. It's a lot of slow mo in this. I think John Woo directed this video. Wow. Okay, that's enough. All right, all right. That's it. Oh, God. My last trip to Babo was a lot like that. It was weird. The food was fine. Didn't expect a waitress to get so involved.
Toledo
You got the special that.
Brett
Oh, yeah. I said, they said, what's the. What's today's like happy hour. She goes, watch this. She came back in pantyhose filled with spaghetti. And the next thing you know, we're in slow motion. Anyway, thanks, Bert. Yeah. There goes your Brady report. It's 98 KUPD.
Toledo
Yeah, it's not weird.
Brett
It's pretty cool, actually.
Toledo
No membership fees.
Brett
I have heard enough of this. Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? CMC is hiring immediately at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. Open positions include electrical engineers, automatically automation specialists, industrial electricians, and industrial mechanics. Join the next generation of steel makers.
Brady
And help keep our electrical operators and.
Brett
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Brady
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Brett
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. No one knows. Boom, boom, boom. I love that one. Still Brett. Guess when that came out. Queens of The Stone Age 2002. Nice work. Brett Vasley.
Toledo
I would have been in my guess.
Brett
Yeah, you knocked that one out too. No question. That's why I didn't ask you. Oh, knower of things, the great. No, I wouldn't. I. I was going to confirm it with Brady after you answered.
John Holmberg
Well, thank you.
Brett
I mean, correct, of course. That's right.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
People are emailing me like crazy over what we've talked about already this morning, which is strange. The NBA draft and all that. I'm from Texas now. The Mavericks swipes all. I just got back into the NBA because of Luca. Once the trade went down, I knew the fix was was in. I guess I knew the whole time. Uh, but I've always thought that they were trying to move the maps to Vegas. Anyway, the new owners of the Mavericks has Vegas ties. But I agree with you. Oh, great Chancellor F the NBA. I'm now into hockey. Yeah, it's pretty crazy how that's going to happen. That is a. The draft is definitely a. That was rigged. Period. End of story. Guy from Utah emailed, says, I'm from Utah. This stings, man. And he also point out that the he says as a resident of Utah is hurts. Utah was one of three teams with the best dobbs odds. And by the way, it's well stated that Dallas never talked to another team before trading Luca to la. Oh, it's. The conspiracy is real. There's no question about it. That that was rigged to make Luca become a Laker. Also talking about the robots. Somebody says, John, you're worried about robots taking. Because that video of that robot that decided to attack. Attack the two Chinese workers while it's on a hook. And I say we're not even talking about why it was on a hook in the first place. It had clearly lost its robot mind before and they incapacitated on a hook. It brought itself back to life and started to fight, which it's not designed to do. And it wanted to kill everybody. Somebody goes, what about when Waymo goes nuts? If Waymo starts Going nuts to where it starts killing people. My guess is we're well past the stage where robots have already started to attack, and Waymo will be the last one. What we need to worry about, just to put it out there for you, little Alex Jones, for what we need to have out there right now, Brett, you need to pay attention to this, all right? Is that they're gonna make all the robots surgeons in the next 10 years.
Toledo
That's a goal.
Brett
That's the one you don't want going crazy because the. You watch all those specialty shows on medicine and stuff. They have that. They have one. When I did my shoulder surgery, I was doing some research, and they showed that in certain places, they're doing it on cadavers, but they have simulations, and the robot gets to cut and replace a bone, and it can do it, and it can churn out, like, seven or eight different surgeries in, like, two hours, because it'll just be. It'll have one to the left and one to the right, and it's doing two at once because it doesn't have to think. It just knows what it's doing. But it monitors, basically, what. What's on. Heart monitor and everything else. You can. You run the risk of an anesthesia problem or heart rate or blood flow or whatever. I don't know what the hell goes on in there. And. And when it recognized that the chance of living dropped beneath 25%, it just sewed you up and let you die. And it's like, oh, no, no. We had to retrain it to go, no, no. You have to have empathy and compassion for trying to save this life. Like, yeah, but the. We're wasting money and we're wasting time. If I try to save him and it doesn't. Doesn't work, he's just going to die. That's a waste. So it dropped below 25. I just focused on the living one. I get that done faster. And it does, like, a readout of why it did it. And he goes, that was a dead cause. Like, that's money out the door. So that's the one you got to worry about. Going nuts is the robot surgeons. Well, because they let them do it. I forget what country it was they'll let them do. Like, the doctors will be there, and the robot does the surgery, and then, you know, like, they guide it. But the robots are doing the work, and it's not human hands at a certain point, and they're doing that, but the doctors are still in the room in case the robot says, you Know what? I quit. Let's fill this guy up. So they won't let him do hearts and lungs and like living organs. Stuff like a bone, you know, like.
Toledo
My shoulder could go wrong. Or, you know, just because the body's not perfect.
Brett
Right? Yeah. You just don't know how something's going to react. It could be an allergic surprise. The doctor would have to then react. This thing would just be like, oh, it's heart rate. Rate's done. Sew it up. I got other p. I got other fish to cut. Those are the ones I'm worried. I'm not worried about Waymo going nuts. If Waymo goes nuts, what's it gonna do? I'm already in the. Waymo can't kill me. I'm in the shell. It's just gonna hit other people and I'll be the witness. I'm not worried about Waymo going nuts. Besides that, it's awesome. Mostly robots are awesome. But we do have to keep an eye on the way ones that are fighting back a little bit. Maybe have a kill switch. We have a word for it already.
John Holmberg
Sounds like a bad episode of Maximum Overdrive.
Brett
It. Well, because it is.
John Holmberg
Is there gonna be a truck stop cook that saves the world?
Brett
Well, we need a human. Come on.
Toledo
Universal safe word.
Brett
I don't want to quote something that's ridiculous. We're holding on for a hero till the end. It's got to be strong, got to be fast. It's got to be larger than life. We're holding on to a hero. Holding on for her. This one says pretty soon we're going to have to purchase liability insurance on robots. You think these videos are sneaking out accidentally? It's an excellent point. Scare us from the robots, we get robot insurance. And then, you know, progressive and all the rest of them state farmer making more money.
Toledo
You were there, right?
Brett
We did it because we saw it. Farmers insurance saved me from the robots. That's a thing we might have. Look, we have this archive thing that we're doing. Put this right now. Encapsulate 9am on May 13, 2025. When John Holmberg first said, oh, we're going to have to have robot insurance. That's actually probably a real thing we have to worry about in our lifetime. And then everybody like, oh, you're crazy. And then play that back in 10 years. That jackass was right robot. And that's Alex Shields. I sh. Shield. That's his idea. That's his email. But I did. I completely agree. Wildly agree with that. God, I got a Ton of these things, trying to just do some house cleaning here. And then we have to get into what Brady did yesterday. Now, if you didn't join us yesterday morning, Brady, it was bad. Hemmed and hawed and tried to dig holes and then dug bigger holes and then tried to get out of it. Didn't pay any attention at all to whether his daughter had purchased his wife. Ronnie, his daughter's mother, obviously, if you understand how that works, Mother's Day present at all. We asked, what did Kirby get Ronnie? And Brady's response, if you remember Brett, was, I don't know. Like, did he get. Did she get her. I don't know. Michael, that's your job as the dad, to stay on top of the kid and say, hey, don't forget your mom Mother's Day. There's going to be hell to pay if you don't get her something. And you didn't do that part. And then later you said you did talk to her about it. It was convoluted. It was messy, but we understand. Yeah, we were trying to fix it. Kirby throws in the worst text of all to make it worse. Oh, I forgot. Despite going out for Mother's Day dinner and a Mother's Day movie, she plays on Monday after Mother's Day. Oh, was that yesterday? I forgot. Terrible, terrible behavior. So Brady did a lot of scrambling yesterday morning, and rightfully so. And it's attempt to not become essentially the sexless monk for the rest of his life. And nobody's touching it anymore. How did you fix this yesterday? What happened?
Toledo
I talked to Ronnie.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
First of all, I want to apologize.
Brett
Well played.
Toledo
Because, you know, your daughter did not come through like she should have at all for Mother's Day. And that's on me.
Brett
Perfect.
Toledo
And Kirby, she goes, I. I got.
Brett
A text from Kirby saying totally sorry. I.
Toledo
Sorry. Yep.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
And then did anyone go to Kirby. Kirby at one time, because she. She was going to run an errand for Ronnie after school. She's going to go to the grocery store for Ronnie after school to pick up some stuff.
Brett
Right.
Toledo
At Trader Joe's. That's where she said she was going.
Brett
To get her something.
Toledo
And I said, you don't need.
Brett
Can't do that.
John Holmberg
It's too late.
Brett
Way too late.
Toledo
But I came back in the afternoon. Kirby came home from school, and there was a vase with some flowers and a card on it.
Brett
All right.
Toledo
She did a make good anyway.
Brett
Took it upon herself to do guilty flowers.
Toledo
Yeah. And that worked over. And I, you know, again, I went back to Ronnie and said the same thing.
Brett
And.
Toledo
And then I talked to Kirby again.
Brett
And did Kirby talk to Ronnie and say. I said, suck. Yep. And said, I'm sorry and this is the worst thing I could do. And then whatever you get, like she has to owe or something.
Toledo
I know this isn't making up for.
Brett
This, but there's like o skis in.
Toledo
But I wanted to do this anyway.
Brett
And so Kirby owes Ronnie, like something amazing, like car washes for a month or something.
Toledo
Yeah, she did. You know, she did try to on Saturday wash Ronnie car.
Brett
She tried that?
Toledo
Yeah, because she took the car at a cobblestone.
Brett
Okay. So she was just gonna drive it through.
Toledo
That's not.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's not doing anything.
Toledo
Well, it didn't happen. Somehow there's even worse credit card or whatever. And I said, well, you could have fixed it right there. But she didn't know. She came back.
Brett
She didn't go. That's a lie.
John Holmberg
She went to the woods.
Brett
She didn't go to the car wash and try. She didn't go because she washed her.
Toledo
Car and then she.
Brett
Oh, hers worked. Hers worked. Yeah.
Toledo
Not at Cobblestone. She did it in the driveway.
Brett
No, she wouldn't wash her mom. She drove her mom's to the cobblestone.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
She hand washed her own car.
Toledo
Yeah, because she got done with her mom's car. And I asked her, hey, your mom would like this, but what do you.
Brett
Mean she got done with her mom's car?
Toledo
She said she got done with her car.
Brett
Oh, okay.
Toledo
And I said, why don't you take your mom's to cobblestone?
Brett
There you go.
Toledo
Because mom was still a little hungover from this 48 hour celebration.
Brett
Yeah, there's a lot of. This guy died and a lot of people are having a big. That's been a big party. This funeral that's we've been going to since last week. It's like burning man of funeral.
Toledo
It's the way it should be done. Well, maybe one day.
Brett
No, it's too much. You're asking me to do it. If I come back hungover from the third day of the funeral. That's too much. That's a lot. That's Vegas.
Toledo
Two days, Joe.
Brett
Just two days. That's the third day is the hangover that counts. So she couldn't get up and wash her car, and then so Kirby drove her car around for a while. So credit card didn't work. Work. Sorry. Sorry, old man. Yeah, that didn't. She didn't go to that. She didn't try. That's a kid lie. Kids lie about that. How hard is that? Cobblestone credit card didn't work and then it just magically just fixed it.
Toledo
Well, she didn't have, you know, didn't have the card, but I'm like, you could have called me.
Brett
So she pulled into the thing.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
And said, I want a car wash reader.
Toledo
Thing didn't go off and for some reason it's attached to an old card.
John Holmberg
Well, she had the hose out earlier. She could have just washed the car.
Brett
When she got home. Exactly.
Toledo
Yep.
Brett
All right, so everything's good. Except for there is going to be payback you don't see coming quite yet. That is happening to you eventually. You know that.
Toledo
Yeah, I bought my 5 gallon jug of queso.
Brett
Yeah, you bet you. I'm not saying you're not. You're going to be. That's probably smart on your end to get extra food just in case, but I don't think that's what I was talking about.
Toledo
Oh, I know.
Brett
You know that the retribution is coming.
Toledo
No, I. I feel like.
Brett
No, it's there. That's how they work there.
Toledo
It could be.
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
Look, I'm not going to be.
Brett
I can't just surprise, grin and bear it when you are forgotten on something for.
Toledo
I'm sorry, we've got less than a month out.
Brett
Father's Day is too obvious. It'll be something else. Something coming your way that you're like, well, you're going to get a make good. And the way that they make you feel like, oh, we're to not going. Going to do that to you is by making you comfortable in between. Oh, everything's fine. Okay, good. And then you just get square in the nuts. They're not mean about it now. She's going to be extra rosy. It's going to be super nice. Wow, this is great. That worked out well. Then the nut kick comes. You're like, okay, well, all right, I probably had that coming.
Toledo
But what people don't, you know? Yeah, I. Again, it was a. It was a good Mother's Day up until that big faux pa. Well, it.
Brett
Wasn'T a Mother's Day. Sure it was for one of them. It wasn't for Ronnie and I.
Toledo
It was a good resume.
Brett
And then the one that actually makes Mother's Day a reality. Didn't know it was Mother's Day according to her, but did somehow join in on all the Sunday festivities. Noticed that there was a card on the table. We're treating mom extra special today.
Toledo
Is There a reason she knew it was Mother's Day?
Brett
Yeah.
Toledo
What she was saying is I forgot to get go. I wanted to do something on Saturday and I totally forgot it. In other words, you didn't do it then. You didn't.
Brett
Then you didn't know it was Mother's Day. Yeah, you. I knew it was Mother's Day. I didn't do about it. It's worse.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
I'd rather have you go. I'm kind of. And I think I forgot what day it was. I don't know how days work. I'd be like, all right, I'd accept that. More than like, yeah, I knew it was Mother's Day. Just didn't do well.
John Holmberg
That's basically what she's saying.
Brett
That is what she said.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brett
Was she grounded or anything? No, she's fine. Everything's just.
Toledo
Everything's good.
Brett
She's not. She doesn't care. She's moving.
Toledo
She'll prepare for what's coming in the future.
John Holmberg
Then it'll happen to her. It's gonna be to you.
Toledo
That's right.
John Holmberg
It's gonna. It's gonna happen to you. Nothing's gonna happen.
Brett
Absolutely. Yeah. You're gonna be the one that.
John Holmberg
You're the one and you're paying for it.
Brett
Yeah. Well, no, you're grounded. I mean physically grounded. Like an airplane that you might as well be in the airplane graveyard for like little while. That. That thing ain't taking off for a bit. Well, good. At least it worked.
Toledo
I'll take the many victories while I can.
Brett
I don't know that you had a victory.
Toledo
So much victory. But yeah, I think, yeah, you throw the white flag. Everyone. All three parties involved. Understand?
Brett
You're France. Brett's right. You're France. You're just going to reap the benefits of being on the winning side. But you didn't. You were. You were the problem. What are you guys going to help us fight? We're very busy waving this flag. Okay, we'll fight him off for you. And you guys just say you were on our side. Of course. Of course. We'll get right behind you after I'm done. My arms are so tired from waving this white flag. I know how you feel there, Pierre. This is tough work. We will probably pay for this eventually, but let's just act like everything is alright. I'm with you. Should we ground Germany? Nah, they'll be all right. But it's all right. It's good. We did good for Mother's Day. 2025. The trickle down effect just Say, brace yourself, because I think tal.
Toledo
It'll be one to remember.
Brett
I think your Father's Day is going to be epic. And then she's just going to stare at you while you. When you're opening your eighth present.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Brett
She's going to look at you, pay back holes through knowing that. That she used your bank account to buy all of it. Just staring through the hole. She's going to stare through you. Here's two new golf bags. Wow, this is great. And you're going to be blinded by all this love, but it's all literally payback. You son of a.
Toledo
And then. Kirby, I forgot.
Brett
Yeah. I didn't get you anything for Father Day. I tried to wash it.
John Holmberg
I sure remember that one.
Brett
I quit on that. Oh, yeah. She's gonna be reminded.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Ronnie's gonna make sure she remembers.
Brett
See, I remember. They're probably shopping for Father's Day right now. It's gonna be like the 25 days of father.
Toledo
Thank you for the new car.
Brett
Yeah, it's gonna be. There's gonna be. She's gonna, like, buy an Asian to just fix your car up. And technology. He's your own. This is great. And fix up my car every day. Washes for.
Toledo
It's so special.
Brett
Yeah. You're done. Also, we have this archive thing. I don't know what. I don't know how it works. I guess it starts today. I'm not a huge fan of this.
Toledo
I thought it was yesterday.
Brett
No, we talked about it yesterday. Starting. I think it starts today, but basically it's. I don't know how to get to it. There he is. Hi, Richard. And you can start listening to old.
Brady
Things posted on all of our media.
Brett
Social.
Brady
Social media.
Brett
Is it? Yeah. And you just click on it and then what's the. Because some people are already six.
Brady
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
Brett
With the Heather Graham Squares.
Brady
Oh, right.
Brett
There's probably something terrible in that. Oh, of course. I don't like digging through the past. Nothing good comes from that. You end up calling an ex girlfriend. Find out.
Brady
All right, well, we'll see how these.
Toledo
First four episodes go.
Brady
And if there's a lot of blowback, it's over.
Brett
Just saying, be careful. That's all I'm saying. And, you know, Tripp and I talked about. I think we've got an opportunity to do, like, all sorts of stuff. Like, well, I dig up the past. I trust Richard. I'm like, yeah, but if you trust him to do that, all of it's gonna be boring. Not because of You. It's just gonna be like, he's gonna be super safe and like all the fun stuff. It's perfect. Yeah, I guess I hadn't thought of that. Let's just put cameras in the room with no sound.
Brady
I like that idea that you had yesterday.
Brett
And then we'll just.
Brady
You can come back over the audio.
Brett
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And then we'll still be in trouble.
Brett
All right, Brett, just turn that off. I thought that was a fun idea. But he's not anime.
Brady
It will just blurt out all the lips.
Brett
And by the way, if you are going to use porn. Yeah, yeah. If you're going to use any lip reading service in the city, please, by all means, use Prick Lip readers, because they're the best. I would Prick Lip Readers.
Brady
The most highly rated on Google.
Brett
Yeah. And then I got another guy. This is. I've just got so many emails of weird stuff. Today some guy just emailed me and said that he had a great Monday because he found his sister. He didn't know she existed. And he got all this. I found his sister. Her name is Megan. And he said, I found my sister. It's amazing. I get to do this. He wanted to hear a wake up song and stuff. He had all this stuff all mapped out. He's like, I finally got her. She lives in Valparaiso, Indiana. And immediately I emailed back, I'm like, do not contact any long lost relatives from Indiana because they're just gonna. I'm from Indiana. Don't do it. Anyone still in Valpo, not at the college needs something. If you have the quest for a relative and they live in Kentucky, western Ohio or Indiana, just be glad you never met them. That's the best thing. You just know they exist and that's it. She's from Cincinnati. Oh, God. Just. No, just leave her. You don't want to see this. The horrors of Cincinnati are about to reveal. Heal themselves. Stay away from her. But yeah, when I saw that, I'm like, oh, good for you. And then he said the Valpo thing. Anytime you're searching for an old relative and they turn up, she lives in Lowell, Indiana or Valparaiso. Just be done with it. Just. That's enough. The can of meth worms you're about to open is just unbelievable.
Toledo
I'm heading to Fort Wayne today.
Brett
Oh, no.
John Holmberg
She lived in Gary for a little while.
Toledo
Whoa.
Brett
You're gonna be paying for a lot of kids that have never met. There's a lot of DNA testing going on, let's just say, and I know it Seems like a great thing. And they, oh, my God. I've been searching for her for years. I don't care if you've been searching for 20 years. When you find them in Valpo, Indiana, leave them there quietly and never bring this up again. That goes for Casa Grande and Tucson. Grant, New Mexico. El Centro, California. Tucson is big, but even still, minus the college. They're gonna ask for money is what I'm saying. There's certain cities you just ignore.
Toledo
Indiana has a giant RV dealership that you're buying these RVs from a guy named Tom Raper.
Brett
Tom Raper. He's got a business and nobody bats an eye at it.
Toledo
Acres of RVs.
Brett
Raper RVs is a real thing. Think of it this way. Hey, I found my long lost relative and they're close. They live in Apache Junction and they want me to visit. How eager are you to go out there? Or are you going to say, no, it's been years, but let's meet in Tempe. You don't want to go there. Valpo is the worst part of Apache Junction. Surrounded by stuff that people from Apache Junction would look at and go, this. This place sucks. Indiana is a horrible disaster. If you love weeds and crystal methamphetamine and stroz, Indiana's for you. I could have a child that would go missing, be out every day looking for him. And then somebody calls, we found your kids. You need to come get him. I'm like, where is he? Evanston. Okay, can we meet somewhere in the middle? Like, I, like, fly over to Dallas or something. I'm not going to Indiana.
John Holmberg
Sorry. John Walsh. I. I can't make it.
Brett
But it's your child. Don't you. He needs you. Yeah, yeah. Put him on a Greyhound or something. Let's get him over to Oklahoma City. I. I'm not going there. Is he on meth already?
Toledo
South Bend.
Brett
How long has he been in Indiana? Oh, a year. Okay, you can have him. He's. He's tainted. It's ruined. But congratulations on finding your new sister. I highly suggest FaceTime and false addresses. Never give a new person you just met from Indiana your intention. Information. You know what's going to start happening? I can't get in my Netflix because Megan changed the password. She's got it now. Megan and Valpo. Change it and you'll call Netflix and go, I can't get in. It's like. It looks like your account has moved to this. And then she's going to give you a zip code and then you Google It. And that zip code is going to be Valparaiso, Indiana. You're doomed. Say hello, give a false address, and move on.
Toledo
She signs her name with the E backwards, just like that creepy Megan.
Brett
Like the one that kills. Yeah, you know what? I'd take that one in my house before a Valpo Megan. The murderous one that swings her arms around. Yeah, the robot. That's the more pleasurable one. You don't want this. Trust me. And then, you know what? Email me later. Email me later about your meeting with her in Valpo. And for Christ's sake, do it in Kansas City or Oklahoma or somewhere outside of Indiana. Get her out of her game. The tree people are watching you. If you're there and your luggage is going away. Why do I have to help everybody, Brett? Why do I have to be here for everyone? All right, we got hot releases coming up in just seconds. I'm so worried for this person. It's 98 KUPD. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
Toledo
No membership fee.
Brett
I have heard enough of Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I think somebody slipped me some. I think somebody slipped me some weed. Oh, definitely. I think that question right there has me spinning. Before that, start the whole show with, could you win the Masters? Just putting. That's been on my brain. That's a little bit of a high conversation. I don't one. I just was reading this.
Brady
That residual effect of whatever you've been doing, isn't that what pot guys get? They get a residual.
Brett
What have I been doing?
Brady
I don't know. You just said you're high.
Brett
Maybe you. No, I think I don't. Look, it's a granola bars and Coke Zero. Maybe the combination is some sort of thc. All I said was Brady brought up bees earlier. Do you think bees are aware that they only get one sting?
Brady
So he's mad.
Brett
Ah, damn it. On this guy Tripp just goes, you're a disaster. And he left the room. Do you think they know he said no? I think because we'd have to admit that they're self aware. Nope. And then he sat down because he doesn't want to think that bees can think because then they could take a job of a radio executive pretty easily. Thank you very much. If only bees ran the show. So much more efficient. But when they. When they. Oh, if we ran. Bees ran the colony here.
Brady
Oh, my God.
Brett
Not a single second. When. When B. Jenny came down, the owner they have to go with more money and less of this. Yes, queen. And it would be done. It would be done. But then they would have to not then they would just willy nilly be bunch of bees just dying because it would be cavalier about the sting. And if you have a bee land on you, you got to think of the bees perspective of looking at you going, what the is that thing?
Brady
Oh, it's like your tactical black training.
Brett
Yeah. Are we.
Brady
Are we doing this?
Brett
You don't land on the bad guy. Look, I'm telling you right now, if a dude was 96 times bigger than me, I'm not standing on his arm without stinging him. The only defense I've got all the time. That's what I'm saying.
Toledo
Rescue.
Brett
Yes. You're making my point. They don't sting you.
Toledo
Yeah, but think of it.
Brett
But Brady, listen. Think from here.
Toledo
It's not a threat.
Brett
You don't know that. You don't know. The B Doesn't know that he's. Maybe the b.
John Holmberg
Didn't.
Brady
Didn't go. Is this guy that dunked me.
Brett
Yeah, he's currently waterlogged. We're taking another pool. Second, you're making my point for me.
Toledo
Anything 90 know that I'm saving them. Then why wouldn't they know anything?
Brett
90 times larger than in me at least is taking a punch from me the second it touches me.
Brady
Look at fire ants. All they do is bite.
Brett
Look at chihuahuas.
Brady
Yeah, that true.
Brett
They just start shaking the second something bigger comes along. A bee's looking at us like, Jesus, those lumbering giants are everywhere. But don't sting them. You only get one texter.
Brady
Buzz, buzz, mother.
Brett
I think we had that as a character for a while there, but I think that was my Africanized beast, which is why I don't want the archives to play ever.
Brady
Oh, that one won't see the light of day.
Brett
Africanized bees coming up from Mexico.
Brady
Anyway, I put an attachment on some of those things in the vault that says you have to sign this NDA.
Brett
Or pay for it. Here's the other thing. And I'm not saying that because we would have to say they're self aware. I'm not saying they're self aware the way humans are, but I wonder if it's innate in a B to know you only get one.
Toledo
Yeah, because the point you're saying it has to decipher. It has the ability to decipher that this is a threat.
Brett
Yes. So then it has the power of thought to say, yeah, break out the only weapon I've got again, my solving to the.
Toledo
Their stingers are barbed, right? They could just smooth them out.
Brett
Yeah, if they could. If they could have another bead.
Brady
Just like a needle.
Brett
Beep, beep, beep, beep. Yeah.
Toledo
Oh, yeah.
Brett
Okay. The most insane part of this conversation is. We learned that Sean Knight is not big into pot and yet he dresses like he owns a chiba hut.
John Holmberg
Can somebody slip me some weed? This conversation.
Brett
Shut up, Brad. That Sean Knight. No patient dresses like. Sean Knight's been kicked out of chiba huts because it's like. Come on, man, you're overdoing it. It's not a costume.
Toledo
You guys got any bourbon?
Brett
It's not a costume. It's a life.
Brady
No, dude, turn around.
John Holmberg
Little too far, pal.
Brady
We didn't make enough today.
Brett
I'm sorry our conversation got a little too heady for you.
John Holmberg
Too weedy?
Brett
It is a little weedy.
Brady
Oh, it's a lot weedy.
Brett
It was all weedy. But I'm telling you right now, total.
Toledo
Jay Cutler on this.
Brett
Yeah, but you know what? Every. He'll be a little drunk and he'll turn. Hey, Matthia, do you think beast. No, he's going to. It's coming back up. Yes, it is.
Brady
Absolutely.
Brett
You're going to drink your Malart. This one's for you.
Toledo
Know what I've been saying, thinking about?
Brett
Yeah. Hey, my dad. Prayers.
John Holmberg
No.
Brett
That'S an easy one. That was the first.
Brady
I haven't heard that one yet.
Brett
That's a simple one. Good one, dad. Prayers. Hey, this one. Hey, Malia, do you ever think maybe bees don't know the bees are thinking. I only got this one shot. It's like Eminem. You only get one shot. Do not miss the chance and blow it. It's a beast.
Brady
She's.
Brett
You're an idiot. You're going to get. You're an idiot. Oh, you know who says you're an idiot to that?
Brady
People with closed minds.
Brett
Close minded, dummy. Someone that's not willing to open their mind. Like Sha Knight. He's just not. Whoa. He just.
Brady
That's too much credit for him.
Brett
No, it isn't. Look at him. You have to have an open mind to dress like that. He knows Kohl's. He knows Kohl's is open and affordable, and yet he avoids it like the plague.
Brady
No, I'll choose Goodwill.
Brett
I'll take something else. What do you got in your closet or garage? We're not making funny how you're dressed, Sean. We're just making fun of the clothes you're wearing.
Brady
You're making observations.
Brett
It's time for the hot releases. Welcome. Sean's only here once, everyone. Like two months. You take a beating. The second he walks in the door, I am shocked. You're not a weedy, though. I'd lose that battle all day. If I saw your mug shot, I'd be like, that dude was stoned out of his mouth. You don't do it at all. Not really. Means you do.
John Holmberg
Really, in the last 10 minutes.
Brett
Huh? You sold it before. Is that what you just said?
John Holmberg
Try seltzers.
Brett
Oh. All right, that's enough of you. We're done with you. Now it's time for the hot releases. It's brought to you by friends@newacunit.com. get on that. I just got my buddy Brett just text me, goes, what's that code to save a thousand bucks? I'm like, oh, tough one. Brett, who I've known since eighth grade. It's Holmberg. So thanks for paying attention. Kier Hard Times is going to get himself a new AC unit from new AC unit.com and he's doing it right now. And you can, too, Homeburg. Get you a thousand off the top, and then you can go on and get that AC unit replaced with new AC unit.com, where you're already going to save thousands. Save time buying online@newacunit.com. toledo. Go. Give them to me.
Brady
All right, real quick. Doom. The Dark Ages is the biggest game out this week. So it's by Bethesda. The same people that bring you Fallout Man.
John Holmberg
How long has this thing been out? I mean, like, for a while. The series.
Brady
This is like a big, I mean, online buzz for this.
Brett
None of us ever got into it. I played the second new. I played the second Doom.
Brady
I played Doom 64. That was.
Brett
I didn't play. Maybe I didn't play the second. The second one that I remember was around 2003. That was the Doom out in the 90s.
Brady
I think 364 was on that.
Brett
I think I played on a PlayStation 3 the first time, and I liked it a lot.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's been up, you know, Soundtrack's good.
Brett
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just. It's a lot. Doom is a lot, all right.
Brady
You can get it on all major platforms.
Brett
Graphics are incredible.
Brady
By the way, out on max this week is Duster like the Plymouth?
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
From J.J. abrams. It's a new series premiere on Thursday.
Brett
Upside Down.
John Holmberg
Where's that guy from?
Brett
That's David Keith. He was in Something about Mary, and he's been. He's the. How'd you get the beans over the Franks? Yeah.
Brady
He'S got a hate track.
Brett
This is a 70s show. The rookie who thinks she can take down the Southwest. Al Capone. You're pretty intense. Because I play to win. What's this called? Dust. Who's the driver?
John Holmberg
Magic on Wheel.
Brett
I do love my job. Okay, so it's a little bit.
Toledo
I need you to come with me.
Brett
Wow. I don't know what I'm looking at. I'm intrigued by this.
John Holmberg
He was with Piper and they live.
Brett
I don't know that. Oh, that Rowdy Roddy Piper. I don't remember that.
Brady
All right, John, from today's discussion, this one's for you, Murderbot. See, he's coming out on Apple tv.
Brett
They're telling us it's a SEC unit. I was built to protect humans, and humans are idiots. But now that I've hacked my programming, I can do whatever I want as long as they don't find out. Once they learn to lie, they'll learn to kill. Somebody says, wow, John. The B conversation simultaneously flaming out and lighting up at the same time. That's right. My promise to you, the show will be a lot more high over the next few years.
Brady
So I don't know if you guys remember this guy. He. He became fam. Internet famous a few years back. He built an M supplement empire. He calls himself the Liver King.
Toledo
Oh, yeah.
Brady
On. By just eating raw nothing but liver.
Brett
And now he's eating nothing but.
Toledo
And he was saying it was all natural, and he got busted for.
Brett
I now know why I read an article about him the other day is because they said now all he does is eat testicles with that girl. I just. She was on there, too. All right, as quick as you are to do a story about Uranus. He's as fast to do. De's nuts if he hears the word test second. How come nobody's opened a. Like, a testicle restaurant called Deez?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Who want them?
Brett
People eat them like crazy. Like, I've had turkey balls. If you had a. If they're available, people order them. You especially, novelty boy.
Toledo
I guarantee you've had a festival up there in Brass.
Brett
I rest my taste.
Brady
Rocky Mountain Testicle Festivals in. In Mont.
John Holmberg
Well, that's fitting.
Brett
Yeah, they have. But they're all over Denver has. They have Rocky Mo. They eat the balls like crazy. I had turkey balls once, and they were like popcorn shrimp.
John Holmberg
Bigger, those things.
Brett
Not very. They're like little popcorn shrimp just grabbing.
John Holmberg
Like, a handful, like M&M's. Or something or what?
Brett
At first, because I didn't know it was turkey nuts. And then somebody told me and I was like apprehensive. What do you mean turkey nuts? Like you're eating turkey balls. And then I ate them one at a time for the flavor. And I realized this doesn't taste. Taste like shrimp.
Brady
All right, last one I got because Brett's got to get going is the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Season two is out.
Brett
Okay.
Toledo
These girls are hot.
Brady
Well, and this one this season apparently is about how they all swing.
Brett
Say what?
John Holmberg
All right.
Brett
Yeah, yeah. Wait, the Mormon wives are swinging? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Nice.
Brett
Imagine everything to blow up like Brady's neighborhood.
Brady
But it's a double edged sword, opening.
Brett
Up yourself and your family to all kinds of drama.
John Holmberg
Can I have a hug?
Brett
You can have a handshake. Where is everyone at? That's what a Mormon handshake is. I'm trying to protect mom talk.
Brady
I don't feel like inviting the devil back in.
Brett
I think everybody just needs to get the freaking stick out of their. Anyone that comes in at this point is clout chasing. What the hell? Who's got Miranda? Oh, my God. Miranda. Is Taylor's okay? Yeah. This is just. This is just tease porn.
Toledo
Yeah, it's soaking.
John Holmberg
It's like Cinemax porn from back in the day.
Brett
It's edging.
John Holmberg
You don't see anything.
Brady
Quickly, we gotta get to Brett.
Brett
I'm edgin get through his stuff. Oh, I'm busy. I'm damn.
Brady
Still talking about the bees.
John Holmberg
We're going to start with this one. This guy hit me up last week about it. Was it Tetrar? I. I'm not sure, but he was. He's like, hey, man, I got to. You got to play this one. All right, fine.
Brett
Tetrar. Yeah, this is cold. We don't know Tetrar.
John Holmberg
I've heard the name.
Brett
I've never really have not.
Toledo
I got most of their stuff.
Brett
Do you? It's got the box up.
John Holmberg
Let's get prepping for Rock Horse.
Brady
All right, we'll do inward or upward after the break.
Brett
All right, Calm down.
Brady
Is that a girl?
Brett
Didn't like the voice.
John Holmberg
I think it's a dude. I think we did sleep 30 last week.
Brady
Yeah, it's okay.
John Holmberg
We'll skip that. Three days grace just released this couple days ago. This is. Apologies.
Brady
I was going to say I thought the old singer was back, but that's not him.
John Holmberg
They're both in the band.
Brady
Oh, they are?
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Brett
Oh, how else can I survive?
John Holmberg
It's like the Temptations. They got multiple league singers.
Brett
Nothing at all like the Temptations. Couldn't be less like the Temptations. I mean, literally, it's apples. Apples and ice cream.
John Holmberg
I don't want to hear it.
Brett
It's bees and elephants. It's not even close to the same.
John Holmberg
So I know Toledo's in a hurry, so we'll skip Morgan Wallen's got a new one out. I won't make you.
Brett
So we're not playing N word or F word with that one. Because he says it.
John Holmberg
How about this one? If Creed wrote aerials from System of A Down.
Brett
Creed doing aerials? Who did this?
John Holmberg
Steve Welsh.
Brett
It's worse. Yeah, that's pretty dead on. Yeah, that's good. How does the chorus. Total creep. And we are the ones that want to choose. That's annoyingly good.
Brady
All right, we gotta go time.
Brett
All right. With this many commercials.
Toledo
Yes.
Brett
Good Christ, man. You and so popular.
Brady
You and your weedy conversation.
Brett
So. Well, it was the B thing that did put us over the top, but I mean, still, we don't have answers.
Brady
Well, we'll find him during the break.
Brett
Will we? If that's true. One guy signed you don't know. I discovered that bees are self aware. Holy. Anyway, so that's most of your hot releases. N word or F Word. Coming up later. It's 98. He's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
Toledo
No membership fee.
Brett
I have heard enough of this.
John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Brett
Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Don't do that. Hi, everybody. Welcome back. This is why we don't have cameras in this dude. What just happened here was an abomination to language and human empathy.
John Holmberg
Well, you can know who said that then.
Brett
Brad. And it was awful. It was about a girl's hymen. And it wasn't pleasant at all, considering we were talking about cancer. Oh, God. Yep, Just giggling over. I'm looking him right now. The red in his face. I'm going to hell.
John Holmberg
Nailed it.
Brett
That's gonna happen. Brady. I did not expect to see you here. I know. I just got to.
Toledo
Hell.
Brett
I knew you'd be here. Oh, my goodness. There's some good parts down here. There's a nice bug. The good golf course there. Gotta stay out of that lake. It's time now for Brady to give you, whatever he does here, the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical black self defense training. And you can get in on that thing. Defend yourself against bees. The questions on bees are flying through the emails and things like that. I can't answer them. All I had was questions. You can defend yourself against crazy people like Brady and what he plans to do to you if you have a tumor. Can't even get into it. It's so repulsive. And also just everyday lunatics that wander the streets. Or how about just get in shape while you're working out and learning some stuff. All of that's available@reactdefense.com they have all the seminars up. Everything's ready to go for you. I want that airplane seminar back on there. I think that's on there coming up too. They've got so many different ways and scenarios to kind of present to you that make you go, oh, yeah, I guess there is a way around all this. I watch TV different now. You know, shows. When somebody pulls a gun on someone else, I'm like, oh, this is easy. Stop backing up. Stop doing that. It's such a weird thing, but it changes your brain and it makes you a little bit more confident. Not stupid confident, but confident because you've got training in your back pocket. When you're trained, you're prepared and that's a good thing. Sheepdogs are necessary. Sheep are everywhere. We need to turn more sheep into sheepdogs and make this world a little safer because the bad guys don't like confident sheepdogs, that's for sure. Check it out. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical black Brady. Entertain me.
Toledo
The fox fall schedule rolled out along with NBC and some other stuff.
Brett
But what's TV schedules came out yesterday.
Toledo
Yeah, well, they call it fox prime video calls them up fronts announcing the up front.
Brady
Always been that, right?
Brett
Yeah. Yeah.
Toledo
So what's missing in the fox lineup is the mask singer.
Brett
Oh, no, no. Taking it back.
Toledo
Taking it back.
Brett
Yeah, they'll be back.
Toledo
It'll be back in January.
Brady
Like you say, it's their number one show. They're bringing it back huge.
Brett
And I still don't get it.
Toledo
The fall will be the floor is back with hosted by Rob Lowe.
John Holmberg
I'm so behind with the stuff.
Brett
The floor is just a gay.
John Holmberg
Is that the one where they stand on squares and they talk about and.
Brett
Oddly enough, they filmed in Ireland. They do.
Brady
I was just going to say he.
Brett
Said it's cheaper to all in Ireland.
Brady
Fly all the contestants there. And they do like a week worth of taping than it is to open up a studio in Burbank and do it.
Brett
Wow. Not for long. Going to tear up the hell out of that Rob Low.
John Holmberg
Man. That's amazing.
Toledo
That'll be followed by another new game show called 99 to Beat, hosted by Ken Jong and Aaron Andrews.
Brett
Okay. To beat 99 people at trivia, you have 99 different questions. It's gonna take forever.
Toledo
What's gotta be? They're also reviving two classic competition series. Celebrity Weakest Link and Fear Factor. The Next chapter.
Brett
They got nothing on us in the Brett's videos. Things people are eating on that. Exactly. I could watch you eat bugs all day.
Toledo
NBC is hyped its new comedy the Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins starring Tracy Morgan.
Brett
Oh.
Toledo
As a disgraced former football star trying to rehabilitate his image. Daniel Ratcliffe also stars and Tina Fey is among the producers.
Brett
Oh, this might be good.
Toledo
It's also stumble. It's a mockumentary about junior college cheerleaders. An untitled comedy about a staff of native native community center in Oakland, California.
Brett
Your story. It's past 10. He's having trouble with even California right now, man.
Toledo
Prime video up fronts included two series announcements based on Creed and barbershop.
Brett
Creed the band?
Toledo
Nope.
Brett
Apollo Creed the band.
Toledo
Michael B. Jordan is producing Creed Creed spin off series called Delphi. It's about a young two young boxers at Adam Adonis Creed's Delphi Boxing Academy or Delphi.
John Holmberg
This is turning into fast damn Creed movies.
Toledo
Philadelphia. I'm going.
Brett
Could be.
Toledo
Could be Delphi and the barbershop series. It'll follow Jermaine Fowler who hopes to follow his grandpa's footsteps as a barber at Calvin's.
Brett
That's right. So barbershop is about barbers who want to be barbers. That should be great. You like that?
John Holmberg
Riveting.
Brett
That's pretty. I'm intrigued. Right? It's a barber shop where there's barbers in it who want to be barbers like their grandfather. Because that guy. Yeah. So you can expect a lot of barber. You know, what I've never understood is like, I watched an old Bob Newhart and he was getting his hair cut on the show. Has anyone playing the role of the barber ever seen a haircut in their lives? They just hold the scissors like a foot and a half away from the head and just chop, chop, chop, chop. Never, ever has that happen. I haven't had hair in a long time, but I know that's not how haircuts occur. They're much slower and like, methodical than this. Just constantly waving scissors at someone's head from a foot away.
Toledo
And they showed Nick. Nick Cage suited up for the live action spider noir Black Spider. The series was unveiled.
Brett
He's a barber.
Toledo
He's cutting hair.
Brett
That's right.
Toledo
Spiderman.
Brett
Who's the barber here, baby girl. Yeah.
Toledo
Tory Lanez was stabbed in prison a lot of times.
Brady
Who that?
Toledo
He's the one who shot. He's in prison for shooting Megan Thee stallion.
Brett
Remember that?
Toledo
In the foot.
Brett
Shot her in the foot.
Brady
I do. I didn't know he was the one who did it.
Brett
Now you do.
Toledo
Serving 10 years, I feel fulfilled.
Brett
Shoot Megan the stallion in the hoof and you get 10 years.
Toledo
Little Wayne's girlfriend, Denise Badot.
John Holmberg
News today or what?
Brett
Yeah, this is the you've never heard of him news today.
Toledo
He broke up with her. Text her. Said on Mother's Day. Said, get you and your daughter and get out of the house.
Brett
This could be announcements at an elementary school and I'd be familiar with the exact same amount of people. I don't know who he's talking about.
Toledo
The fan that paid a little over 2012,500 to be gene Simmons roadie for a day. Had a great experience.
Brett
Thank you, Brady.
Toledo
He gave it a raving review. And the. The reason behind that, he said it was fantastic.
Brett
Right, we got that.
Toledo
But Gene Simmons.
Brett
That's enough.
Toledo
Gene Simmons. Gene Simmons says why it's so expensive is he has to buy an insurance policy for things. Like, the person was very disappointed in the day. It was not like a fyre festival in case he gets sued.
Brett
Oh, that someone would sue Gene Simmons.
Toledo
For not having fun not coming through on a little on you experience.
Brett
I mean, once you meet Gene Simmons, the experience is sort of over wires and plug a couple things in. It's kind of what you were told was going to happen.
Toledo
The last thing Creed will have a. A race.
Brett
Apollo Creed.
Toledo
Creed the band.
Brett
Okay.
Toledo
We'll have a car in the Indy 500.
Brett
A car? Oh, yeah. Creed car that's coming up in a couple weeks. Creed is sponsoring a driver?
Toledo
Well, they've teamed up with Meyer Shank.
Brett
They'll quit in the middle. All the other cars will get sick of them and make them go away.
Toledo
The car looks pretty cool.
Brady
They'll get run off the road, but.
Brett
Creed, that's pretty cool. We don't know who's racing it. Felix Rosenberg.
Toledo
With the Shank Meyer racing.
Brett
Meyer Shank, Meyer Shank them, too. Shank Meyer is what happened to Trey Lance in jail. No one knows what Brady's that's the dude's in trouble. The most familiar person in the entire thing was Frederick Mayaquist, and I just made up his name. Now that's it. Sean Knight said we're playing N word or F word tomorrow. We got to go. I don't think Brady's going to make it through another 10 minutes.
Toledo
Lunch?
Brett
That's right. We're getting close.
Brady
Oh, 10. 11.
Brett
Sean's filling in for Larry today. Larry's off doing some nice family things because that's what nice people do. Not the thing. Brady. Brady. Ouch. Ouch. Horrible person he was. We're done. Sean's next. You guys have a great day. We'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
Toledo
No membership fees.
Brett
I have heard enough of this. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and we're talking to you about reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black self defense training. You know all about it by now. Get in great shape. Learn stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Prepare for a life you just can't prepare for until you start doing the work. And right now the price is unbeatable. Two months of personal training right there. Hands on React Defense self defense system. It is 199 bucks for too much. You're not getting that anywhere else and all you have to do is go to reactdefense.com the home of Tactical Black.
Brady
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Brett
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Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (05-13-25)
Published on May 13, 2025
Hosts:
The episode kicks off with a spirited discussion about the controversy surrounding former President Donald Trump receiving a free, luxurious plane from Qatar. John Holmberg expresses skepticism, questioning the legitimacy and intentions behind the offer:
John Holmberg [02:30]: "I don't know what the big deal is. Somebody offers you a free goddamn plane. I don't care how political you are, you take the plane. It just doesn't add up to me."
Dick Toledo chimes in, pondering whether accepting such a gift could lead to ulterior motives or simply be a gesture misunderstood by the public.
Dick Toledo [04:15]: "Are they doing it anyway? I mean, if that didn't come along."
The hosts humorously compare the situation to past experiences with extravagant cars, emphasizing the absurdity of receiving high-value items without clear reasons.
John Holmberg shares a personal experience from attending a Veterans lunch hosted by KTAR's Mike Broomhead. He recounts the profound impact of listening to veterans' stories, highlighting moments that moved him emotionally:
John Holmberg [61:33]: "I got in there and I immediately crushed some chicken. It was a long event, but the stories were worth it. These veterans are magnificent human beings."
Bret Vesely adds his appreciation for the heartfelt narratives, noting how such events can reset one's perspective and foster a deeper sense of empathy.
A significant portion of the conversation delves into the strain political divisions are imposing on personal relationships. Bret shares an email from a listener whose friendship dissolved after discovering his support for Donald Trump:
Bret Vesely [70:20]: "I've had people say, 'Never contact me again.' I did not realize you were a Trumper. What should I do? Do good riddance, move on."
The hosts debate the fairness and implications of ending friendships over political beliefs, discussing the broader societal impact of such polarization.
The discussion shifts to the ongoing trial of P. Diddy, with detailed commentary on the courtroom dynamics and family reactions. Bret humorously narrates the unfolding events, highlighting the challenges faced by the defendant's family:
Bret Vesely [81:11]: "And then they got up and like, that's too far. On day One, the daughter said, 'That's it. I'm out.'"
The hosts speculate on the trial's trajectory, expressing concern over how quickly family members are distancing themselves amidst the allegations.
Brady introduces a segment on the video circulating online depicting a humanoid robot malfunctioning and attacking its creators:
Brady Bogen [48:35]: "It looks like he's losing control... The robot's rage is real. It's like a mean dog out of a cage."
The team debates the authenticity of the video and the broader implications of advanced robotics potentially turning hostile, emphasizing the need for stringent safety measures.
Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse serious discussions with personal stories and humorous exchanges. John recounts his accidental over-purchasing of bike racks and baby oil, leading to a light-hearted debate on the varied uses of everyday products. Bret shares amusing tales from his golfing experiences and encounters, maintaining an engaging and relatable atmosphere.
As with every episode, commercial segments are seamlessly integrated, promoting local businesses and services:
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of political commentary, personal reflections, and engaging banter, all while addressing pressing societal issues like political polarization and technological advancements. The hosts maintain a balance between serious discussions and light-hearted moments, making the show both informative and entertaining for listeners.