05-13-25 - Trump Offered Lush 747 As Gift By Saudi Govt And We Say He Should Take It - Wondering If A Normal Guy Could Win The Masters If He Only Had To Play The Greens

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 05-13-25 Release Date: May 13, 2025

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg along with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Big Dick Toledo delve into two major topics: the controversy surrounding former President Donald Trump being offered a luxurious aircraft by the Saudi government, and a whimsical exploration of whether an average person could triumph at the Masters Tournament by solely focusing on putting.

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1. Trump Offered a Luxurious Plane by Saudi Government

The episode opens with a spirited discussion about former President Trump's reportedly being offered one of the most luxurious planes, a Boeing 787 Dreamliner, by the Saudi government. The hosts question the rationale and potential implications of accepting such a grand gift from a foreign power.

Bret Vesely kicks off the conversation with skepticism:

"I don't know what the big deal is? Somebody offers you a free goddamn plane, I don't care how political you are, you take the plane. It just doesn't add up to me." (02:08)

He further elaborates on the absurdity he perceives in the controversy:

"We can't have that. Can't have that. It's not. I don't care. You think we're not making side deals with oil-rich nations in the first place." (02:15)

Big Dick Toledo adds to the banter, highlighting the potential benefits of accepting such an offer:

"You don't know what kind of investments this dude made, but he had a nice thing until everybody bitched and cried about his nice thing making them feel bad. So he sold it and actually sold it for more money than he bought it for. So it ended up working out." (06:10)

The discussion touches on the symbolism of accepting gifts from foreign governments and whether it sets a precedent for future dealings. They also ponder the practicality of retrofitting the plane for official use like Air Force One and speculate on its potential uses post-presidency.

Bret Vesely muses humorously about the potential misuse of the plane:

"I think Trump's gonna retrofit. This is the bad thing. He's gonna retrofit it, get it ready to be Air Force One and then just retire it to his library. Cool. You gotta float that thing around a little bit." (02:45)

The conversation underscores a blend of skepticism and amusement, questioning the transparency and motives behind such high-profile gifts.

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2. The Statue of Liberty Assembly Anecdote

Transitioning from international politics to historical curiosities, the hosts recount the challenges faced during the assembly of the Statue of Liberty in the United States.

Bret Vesely shares a personal theory about the statue's assembly difficulties:

"They might have put them in French. And we're like, well, the whole reason we left that continent is to not speak to you. We want to, of course, show our gratitude. We give you this gift. And then a guy just keeps stripping bolts." (10:05)

He humorously attributes the assembly troubles to the metric system differences:

"I think history's lied to us for years. I think history's lied to us. It came over copper, right? She's green for a reason, right? Used to be copper. She is copper." (10:05)

Big Dick Toledo reinforces the point with additional details:

"350 pieces." (11:31)

Bret Vesely continues, emphasizing the mismatch between the French assembly instructions and American tools:

"They just switched. We just switched ourselves. It makes more sense. It's the best 12, best 10 thing." (12:06)

The hosts humorously speculate that the assembly was hampered by the lack of compatible tools and the sudden switch to metric measurements, leading to prolonged delays and frustration among the workers.

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3. Could a Normal Guy Win the Masters by Only Putting?

Shifting gears to sports, the hosts entertain a lighthearted yet thought-provoking question: Could an average person win the Masters Tournament if they only had to focus on putting?

Bret Vesely explores this hypothetical scenario:

"I think I could win it four days in a row. By the fourth day, I'm putting pretty good. Fourth day, I'm getting a lot of two putts. Your score starts looking to be in like the mid-60s at that point." (18:00)

Big Dick Toledo provides a counterpoint, addressing potential challenges:

"You can't make any huge mistake. You see some of those guys putting Up a hill. And it's like, where are they going?" (20:01)

The hosts discuss the feasibility of maintaining consistency in putting while adhering to the complex demands of a professional golf course. They also envision this concept as a potential TV show idea, blending sports with entertainment by pitting "ordinary" individuals against seasoned pros in a putting-only challenge.

Bret Vesely pitches the idea enthusiastically:

"It's the best TV idea of all time. It's the best TV idea I've ever heard of. Could be amazing." (21:04)

The segment reflects on male competitiveness in sports, the role of skill versus luck, and the entertainment value such a competition could hold for audiences.

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Holmberg's Morning Sickness blends humor, skepticism, and imaginative scenarios to engage listeners in discussions ranging from high-level political gift exchanges to whimsical sports challenges. By incorporating personal anecdotes and lively banter, the hosts provide an entertaining yet insightful commentary on current events and hypothetical situations.

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Notable Quotes:

• Bret Vesely on accepting gifts:

  "You just take it. Worst case scenario, everybody bitches until you have to sell it." (06:00)

• Big Dick Toledo on assembly challenges:

  "They have that in Paris." (15:28)

• Bret Vesely on the Masters challenge:

  "It's the best TV idea of all time." (21:04)

Note: Timestamps correspond to the podcast transcript segments and are provided for reference.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[Brett]

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[Brady]

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[Brett]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. This is your morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo. Off and running. Here we go. I don't know what the big deal is? Somebody offers you a free goddamn plane, I don't care how political you are, you take the plane. It just doesn't add up to me. And Trump's in trouble for. They showed one of those planes that Qatar is offering us. Oh, take it. If anything, just get a laugh out of the idea of what Trump's going to do to that thing. It's going to turn to a big gold bar with all sorts of crap. We can't have that. Can't have that. It's not. I don't care. You think we're not making side deals with oil rich nations in the first place. You don't know about. This is cool. This is the new Statue of Liberty. This is awesome. A nation is trying to give us a 787B something or other. That's the most luxurious plane on the planet. And Trump's gonna retrofit. This is the bad thing. He's gonna retrofit it, get it ready to be Air Force One and then just retire it to his library. Cool. You gotta float that thing around a little bit. How in the world is this a controversy? We're getting free playing.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Are they doing it anyway? I mean, if that didn't come along.

[Brett]

You mean, does it just show up?

[Big Dick Toledo]

No, does. I mean, are we due for a new.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Force one?

[Brett]

Sure.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So when is, when are you never due for a brand new thing?

[Big Dick Toledo]

Right?

[Brett]

Like, your car is nice, but if somebody said, here is a free one, it's better than the one you've got because it's got newer stuff on it, you're like, okay, it won't be ready to be driven by you for a little while, but that's okay too. It's like, take the, take the stupid car. And even if it is, like, dumb, plenty of nations give presents and stuff. I like this one. I like, I like, I like when somebody bends the knee and hands. Hands a stuff. I think that's cool. That's what, that's what America was built on. A bunch of people giving you free stuff. But we're so tribal and everything. We can't even recognize when a country's trying to kiss our ass properly. And I like it. Oil rich nations trying to kiss our ass. I'm not being political, I'm being smart. If Biden got a free plane, I'd be all for it. Trump gets free plane, I'm all for it. Jesus Christ. Vaoc can manage a deal where she gets us a free plane. Let's do it. And the one argument I saw yesterday was, well, it's not like all Americans are getting a trip on it anyway. When was the last time you offered me a ride on the current one? Yeah, I've never gotten an offer to be on Air Force One as it is, so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Biden and Obama never offered.

[Brett]

Never once was it like a free for all on the current plane, they give me the new one. Like, well, it's not this. Not for Americans. Neither is Air Force One. It's not. I don't know. We need to think more like Brady on this one. Get some sauce for a plane. I don't know how we did this. I don't know what kind of barter thing we just pulled here. Used to be money made the exchange. This is awesome. Somebody offers you a plane, you take it. You just take it. Worst case scenario, everybody bitches until you have to sell it. Our old boss, Chuck Artigue, bought a car back in 2007 or eight. It was probably worth about 130, 140 grand. It's a nice cars. Mercedes Series 6, I think. Right? Is that what that thing was or. It was a nice car.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Maserati for a minute too.

[Brett]

No, he never had a Maserati, but he had this Mercedes. It was really cool. And at the time, it was the very first one that had technology. If a bug hit the windshield, it would clean itself. It was pretty awesome.

[Big Dick Toledo]

So 500.

[Brett]

I don't know. Whatever it was, it was expensive and it was super nice. And I remember riding in it thinking, this might be the nicest vehicle I've ever been in at the time. And he goes, it's expensive, but you know what? I've earned it. Now this is like a guy who's. At the time, I think it was like 74, 73, something like that. Yep. And he'd worked his whole life. Everybody in the building here over at the KSLX building starts giving him grief that he's driving around a car. Meanwhile, they can't make ends meet. You are not one of those people.

[John Holmberg]

I do not know.

[Brett]

Brett was an overnight guy, but you, the people like you, overnighters, weekend people. People that felt like, oh, he doesn't pay us any money, and he's getting no. He'd had a whole life of actually doing stuff. So he sold it because of the pressure and the heat from employees saying, you're showing off.

[John Holmberg]

I said, he earned it.

[Brett]

You do earn it.

[John Holmberg]

Put the hours in, put time in.

[Brett]

You don't know what kind of investments this dude made, but he had a nice thing until everybody bitched and cried about his nice thing making them feel bad. So he sold it and actually sold it for more money than he bought it for. So it ended up working out. Maybe Trump can pull this with the plane. Maybe all these people crying and whining about a free plane. I don't know where Bernie is. This is his dream. We could get more people to start handing us aircraft. Then maybe we could not have to build our own. This is a great idea. Get these energy rich countries to start kissing our ass. I want gifts at the door every day. You know how excited you get when you come home and you see an Amazon package you forgot you ordered. Imagine if it was a plane that's going on at the White House. I love it. I love it. And we're too. We're too wrapped up in our own dumb to recognize this is cool.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Check for Apple Air tags on it though. Just okay.

[Brett]

Like if they shoot it down, we'll blow them off the face of the planet. If it was a big if. It's a Trojan horse.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah, here you go.

[Brett]

And I kind of hate the fact that I saw somebody bring up but what if they're tracking it? Yeah, we're not going to go. Fine. Tooth comb that thing as we build it to be bulletproof and have heat seeking capabilities to bounce can be refueled in the air. We have to do some retroing to this. It's not. We got to take it over to slang and sound and put in a system. We got to get some sound in there. It's got to have a full out like tracing poles. It's got. Yeah I need the discotheque diddy parties going on. You take the ditty's probably got a.

[John Holmberg]

Jet we can get his.

[Brett]

I don't know why we've gotten so stupid. I know for a fact that the people that are mad if their guy if Obama got a free plane they'd be like well it's because he's a great negotiator. I'm fine with that. Good on him. However you get a free plane, you get. Can I have one?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I had a friend of mine, this was our trip to Vegas and a guy that we were meeting up there, we were all talking about flights and stuff and what times we're leaving and he said I was going to fly you guys up in my plane but I didn't know if you were into that. What are you crazy? Who's not? Who's like no, I'll take American. Who's not into the flight. On the guy's free plane ride, I'll.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Be the first to speak. I'm not into it, man.

[Brett]

Let me say, I really enjoy the rigmarole of an airplane and an airport.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing like going through TS.

[Brett]

Nothing better than waiting for a bag at McCarron in the middle of a Friday afternoon. There's nothing better than that at all. No, I hate the private terminal. I hate the let's get on and leave whenever we want. I just hate it. I like a nice schedule that I have to be three hours early for a 38 minute flight and then. And then hang around for an hour and a half in the other airport, too. That is the way I travel.

[John Holmberg]

Thank God he was thoughtful enough to think of you guys.

[Brett]

And then he said, well, and this is the worst part, he turns at the end and he goes, one of my planes, I wasn't able to, but the other one we could have taken, but I just didn't know if you guys were into that. Yeah, we all looked at. Yeah, yeah. Yuck. Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Is it private travel?

[Brett]

Yuck. Yeah.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Getting through there, that's all I want.

[Brett]

Yeah. I don't even care. A long line. Yeah. I just want to lay down in the middle of a thing and protest that you even offered this. Can't believe you would have the balls to say, I'm sorry. I have a flight. A free plane ride on my private jet. We could get up there. I don't have a private jet. But it was, you know, it's not an airline and I. JSX is the closest thing I got and I was still upset. So if you got a friend with a plane or a country that wants to give you one, you take it. Damn it. Period. End of story. End of story. I do like though, that the, the right is screaming and yelling that the Statue of Liberty has to go back to France. If this is the case, it is a little different. France gave that to us as a nation. Like here, we give you this symbolic, you know, statue for all the people to enjoy. The plane is just for one dude, but it's a pretty cool thing.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I forget how many years the Statue Liberty sat.

[Brett]

Oh, we didn't know how to put it together. We didn't have a.

[John Holmberg]

Was it Jenga?

[Brett]

No, I think shipped it over. I think history's lied to us for years. I think history's lied to us. It came over copper, right? She's green for a reason, right? Used to be copper. She is copper. So she sat in this warehouse, they chunked her over in pieces. And I have a. I have a theory because I remember I said this in. In Mr. McConnell's class in Dobson High School. They didn't have like a 516 setting. It was metric. The French went over a metric thing. And we didn't have tools built for metrics yet. I'm pretty sure that's what happened because we were building all sorts of stuff.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's not like an Ikea Billy shelf with a goofy tool.

[Brett]

And I think it might have been. I think it might have been. I think we were looking and going, what's our. None of our wrenches fit. I'm almost positive they sent over. Hello, Is a present for you. You have to build yourself. I'm sorry, we cannot bring it over in full because she is so large. It's a great gift.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, directions.

[Brett]

Yeah, and that's the other thing. They might have put them in French. And we're like, well, the whole reason we left that continent is to not speak to you. We want to, of course, show our gratitude. We give you these gift. And then a guy just keeps stripping bolts. Like, what the hell is this thing? It's a goddamn metric. It's these French. Put that back in the warehouse. We'll get to another time. And then somebody over at Sears, I don't know what year it was, Nobody remembers. They say that it was just sitting there. Not know. They didn't know what to do with it or where to put it. They're like, thanks France for all the chunks of stuff.

[Big Dick Toledo]

350 pieces.

[Brett]

Yeah, they chunked it over here in a ton. And I'm almost convinced I said that to Mr. McConnell. He goes, that's stupid. And then I saw his face change, like, oh my God, that idiot 17 year old might have just figured out why we didn't put it together right away. Metrics. I'm convinced the Statue of Liberty sat there because we had a bunch of people going, we gotta forge different tools. What the hell are they using for measurements? All these directions are in something else. And then one smart French guy says, it's metric. You guys are still on the. Your idiots. We just switched. We just switched ourselves. It makes more sense. It's the best 12, best 10 thing.

[Big Dick Toledo]

The snap on tool. Horse carriage is baffled over.

[Brett]

I don't know what the hell you think you got here. I've got 5 16. I got open end 5 16. I don't have whatever the. What does 17 mm mean? I don't know. What is this thing? They're not putting her together anytime soon, that's for sure.

[John Holmberg]

Hey Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett]

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[Brady]

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[Brett]

So she sat in a warehouse. Meanwhile, we're making subway systems under New York. We're building skyscrapers. We got. We can't put this thing together lickety split. We couldn't find a nice spot for her. That empty island. I mean, think about it. The thing we stuck around was just some empty bump in the middle of New York.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Like how many of those states like Tennessee, Arkansas, looking at all that copper.

[Brett]

Yeah. How many meth heads Want to dismantle the Statue of Liberty? I bet you her toes get sawed on like crazy. You mentioned me. The guy who opened it had to be like a Christmas story. And the French sent us over. Pretty cool present. Open that box. Oh. Oh, that's a leg. It's a major award. Yeah, it was that. I'm positive I'm right about that. Because why else would we let it sit there? That's just rude. We think it was a trick. Like, what were the French up to? And they said they sent a big copper woman. What are they thinking? Is she hot? Not really. She's big, like manly features. She's kind of a French looking lady. There's one thing we can all admit. Statue of Liberty starts wandering around like life size. She's like five, nine. You wouldn't be attracted to her. They have. That has a big nose. Oh, man.

[Big Dick Toledo]

They have that in Paris.

[Brett]

What, the little ones? They got them all over. There's like a hundred of them all over the world. But her nose is. She's not a pretty lady, you know, but she's out there in the wind all the time. So I think she's weathered. Lady Liberty represents a lot, but let's be honest. If she came to life, she wouldn't be on porno. TMZ would not be doing hot shots of her at the beach like they do Kylie Jenner every day. Just saying. I don't know how we got off on that one. Just take the gift. That's what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there you go.

[Brett]

Don't look a gift plane in the mouth. If that's a phrase. I think that's a thing. But I want to see what Trump does to that. And that plane's coming. I don't care what anybody says. That plane's coming here. And they did a tour of that particular model of plane. Geez Louise. The future of air travel is awesome. This thing is incredible. We get to use them.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Who builds?

[Brett]

I think it's a Boeing. I think.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I don't remember. I think it is 787 Dreamliner. Like that?

[Brett]

No, beyond that. It's like 11 above that thing.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Oh, gotcha.

[Brett]

It's an incredible plane. Yeah. I mean, I've never been on a double decker private jet before, but the people that are saying, you're never gonna get to use it, why do you care? I'm like, I don't get to use the current one. And I still think it's pretty neat. Jesus. When they land that Air Force One over here at sky harbor. People just pull over on the freeway to take pictures of it. We're all kind of fascinated by it now. Step it up a notch. Forget it. I think he should have to give it to the next guy, though. I do think that should be a rule. I don't think he should get. I don't think the presidential library should. Trump's plane should not be in that. You know, maybe pictures or a chunk of it or something.

[John Holmberg]

Like, I think they're already building another one. Like, they're middle of building Air Force One at Boeing, right?

[Brett]

Give that to, like, Chad or something. We're good. Just, you know, we get the better plane.

[John Holmberg]

If this isn't Starbucks, where you pay it forward, you know, I mean, come.

[Brett]

On, you do the Brady thing. We're halfway done with our plan. And I'm not saying finish it, give it to Chad and go, hey, we were building our own. We just got a free one from Cutter. You want our parts? I'm like, sure. And you chunk it over. It's like when you get golf clubs.

[John Holmberg]

So it's like Statue of Liberty. Here's all the parts, here's all the chunks.

[Brett]

Yeah, you guys figured out from here. When you get new golf clubs, a lot of times your old golf clubs will be there, and you'll have a poor friend go, hey, could I get these off your hands? Like, yeah, you can have them. And they're, you know, they need new grips, and they're kind of garbage, but you still give them to your friend and act like you've done something nice. Cause you just got a new set. Same thing. I'm all for the free planes. More countries should be giving us free planes. Planes, I've turned into Trump. When it comes. We do enough for all of them, I think, give me something for free. I'll get off your back. And Cutter is not like one that need that owes us anything. They're just like, you want a plane? We got a couple extra. Hells, yeah. Put it in my garage. I have two jeeps. If some country said, you want a new Jeep, we got an extra. Like, yeah, I do. You gonna give everybody a ride? That. That's if. No, that's mine, and I'll do with it what I want. That's pretty cool. I like it. I have been racking my brain over something somebody said, and I don't know. I've done the math on this a million times. Brady, you're gonna like this. If you were. This. This has been driving me nuts as a sports fan. This has Been driving me nuts. If you were like, given the opportunity to play the Masters, but all you had to do was putt, your ball is placed furthest from the hole on the master screen, on every green, could you win the Masters? Nope, I don't think so either. And I started thinking, like, I think I would 4 putt it the very best on a lot of them, and then I'd roll off the green a couple other times. But if you could putt every time. But then you start thinking, maybe after two or three holes, I get lucky and knock one down. That shaves off like four strokes. I don't know if I could win it four days in a row. By the fourth day, I'm putting pretty good. Fourth day, I'm getting a lot of two putts. Your score starts looking to be in like the mid-60s at that point, I think, I think there's a chance that you could actually win the Masters in four rounds if you pull four putts off every day. Day one, you're around par.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

I mean, because you can't make any huge mistake.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I mean, so par five, you're getting five.

[Brett]

Well, you can get five to par. To par. You probably get it in two if you get. Yeah, you just, you just threed. You're down three a hole. Now there's going to be some greens where you just absolutely cannot. It's the title screens in the world.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I don't think you'd ever have. I don't think you'd go over five putts too often, no matter what the green is.

[Brett]

Yeah, but those greens are absolutely. I think you would. I think there'd be one or two. You're like, oh, my God, I just hit it off the green by like 18. You see those? Sometimes they'll hit in the middle and then roll back into the fairway. Like 30 yards. Yeah, you're doomed. That's a 10. You're doomed.

[Big Dick Toledo]

But I think you give it a good run.

[Brett]

I think you could see, yeah, four rounds, you'd start getting used to it. Now the pin moves, right? So you'd have to practice a little bit, understand the greens.

[Big Dick Toledo]

And they'll have to place the ball. You know, you're basically saying from the.

[Brett]

Furthest point for the furthest point of the hol on that, wherever the pin where you start. So if it's up close and there's 150 foot putt, that'd be a great challenge. It would be amazing. When you watch that on tv, a bunch of slugs just sign up Watch it on tv. I'd watch it on TV all day. Some fat slugs out there that just putting away on the Masters greens while two pros try to play the whole course and you're gonna beat them for a million dollars.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You gotta wait for them to hit the green.

[Brett]

It's the best TV idea of all time. It's the best TV idea of all time. You gotta got, you know, Scotty Scheffler and somebody else. I don't care who else, Rory McElroy. And they're playing the course and you're just with them. And then when they get to the green, you have to put yours down as far away as possible and then putt in. You can, you can beat them for.

[Big Dick Toledo]

A million tee off.

[Brett]

You can start your putting if you want to. I'd say you have to go with them for the time puts more pressure. All of it. Yeah, you have to roll with them. You have to walk the course with your putter the whole time they're playing. And when everybody gets to the green, just protocol. You put yours down furthest away, you putt first because you're out. If they lost.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It would be incredible though. It's, it's like a, like a 10 million dollar challenge. And just dudes get. You'd get drawn out of a random thing. Slug. Like Brett doesn't even know what he's doing. No, like, you want to give it a try? We'll put you out there and they can, they can knock you stiff and say, hey, for 100 grand, you know, they start making offers like deal or no deal? By like the 13th or 14th, you realize this guy can putt. So like, all right, we can, we can. We're gonna drop the stakes down. Just give it to you now. We'll quit a tv, TV ratings would be huge for that. And you couldn't. And you just. Even if it was just a celebrity, if it was just a couple of Joe Schmoes from.

[Big Dick Toledo]

They do it on all the, the big tournaments.

[Brett]

Yeah. They have the pro ams take the dumb parts away, put them on the master screens and let him go. I think it would be. That's TV gold. Because I was, I was with you. I'm like, nope, Absolutely couldn't win it. And then I started thinking, wait a minute. One par five, I do okay on. And suddenly I've shaved off a bunch of strokes. If I could roll out par day one, I have a chance. It's just no those, no crazy mistakes. Like you see some of those guys putting Up a hill. And it's like, where are they going? It's like 25ft the wrong way.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And it rolls back in. Those kind of things are Tiger Woods. Yeah, yeah, the Tiger Woods. When we were like, what's Super Loop? He's facing the wrong way. And it goes all the way in a circle and goes in. And you're like, oh, it's a trick shot. But it's not. I think you could do it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I do, too.

[Brett]

I think you could do it over four rounds. Four rounds. But then is that just us being confident? And then the other thing I saw, if the game was on the line in the NBA and you're on the bench and it's like, 117, 116, 0.4 seconds left, and you've got to hit two free throws to win it. Could you do it? And the. And this basically what it was was a confidence test for men and just basically saying, of course I could. There is absolutely no way, like, 90% of dudes missed both. I watched that on half.

[Big Dick Toledo]

It's a. I think he was the coach from Marquette years ago, Al McGuire. He said in that particular time, he wants the dumbest guy on the line.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, he wants an idiot. But have you ever watched a halftime show or a thing in the basketball? It's like, all right, hit two free throws and win burgers. People just chucking ball. They're missing everything.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah, that.

[Brett]

There's a lot of heat down there.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Percentage of that would be below Shaq's average. It'd be under 50.

[Brett]

Shaq's like a 60% total lifetimer. But he was bad for a long time.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know he made it to.

[Brett]

60% for a little bit. He's like a 58 something. But he was like. For a while, he was horrible. He got a little better for a while, raised it all up. And then I think he shot 70% one year. But still, free throws for Shaq were. But again, your hands are so big. A basketball is like shooting an orange. It can't be. It's not easy. Yeah. I started thinking about these sports things that I started reading, and I'm like, that Masters one is. I don't even know if you could do it on a golf course. Here we played with Steve Jones, the professional golf golfer that Brady knows, and he was dicking around, talking and farting during swings. And he was 8 under for the day. He wasn't trying.

[Big Dick Toledo]

But every green you hit, there was never a.

[Brett]

He was a foot and a half away from every hole.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Seemed like that it was in all.

[Brett]

Day and he'd get upset. He's like ah, like what happened? That's perfect. Now I'm going to like a nine foot putt.

[John Holmberg]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com It's John Holmberg here.

[Brett]

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[Doug Hopkins]

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[Brett]

Holmberg's morning sickness. He was upset with stuff we'd be jumping up and down about. So I think that would be a challenge at the Raven. You go out there and go, all right. Beat a professional and all you have to do is putt. I think that's the best TV show idea I've ever heard of. Could be amazing.

[Big Dick Toledo]

I'm gonna do it with Jones.

[Brett]

Do it with Jo. See, because I don't know how Jones shoots that. That day I played with you, and he was playing and he's talking the whole time in his swings. Well, then we were over at the Piggly Wiggly. He talking about cruddy restaurants in South Phoenix he loves. I got the diarrhea so bad that it was like, what the hell? That one's a foot away. I'm like, how are you doing this? Had he tried, I think he'd have been like 15 or 16. He said, I could get the course record today if I paid attention. And what's the course record? 60. He was killing the ball. It was easy. Nothing to it. And I'm sure. I'm sure he. I. Yeah, there's no possible way that I would have outputt him that day. I'm not shooting a 62 on 18 holes with just putts from the furthest distance. It's. I don't think you could do it on a rare, Like a muni course.

[Big Dick Toledo]

We'll have to try it. Just to try it.

[Brett]

Let's do it. Let's get Jones out there. We'll film it, we'll put it on YouTube, and we'll make money off of this. And then somebody will call us. Nigel Lithgow will call us and go, I produce television shows, and this is brilliant. I know it.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Or it's. We find out, oh, this is.

[Brett]

It's easy. I'm killing these guys. But if you put money on the line and you show a drip like you standing out there beating a pro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

If it goes like, it fires up everybody.

[Big Dick Toledo]

A thousand bucks, $5,000. Whatever.

[Brett]

You don't have to be good. A woman. I mean, finally, women could play in men's sports and maybe be competitive. It would be amazing. I want this so bad. It hurts, because then we can start dicking around with, like, our egos. And that's essentially what it was. You know, it starts off this whole thing. I was. I was reading. It's like, could you hit a major league fastball if they threw you 50, could you hit one?

[John Holmberg]

You'll hit one eventually.

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't think you would at 50. I don't think you would go to a batting cage right now, stand in the 90s.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, but you're talking after 50 pitches. I mean. Yeah, the first. First couple dollars worth.

[Brett]

Don't bunt. I watch a major league fastball go by. Major league fastballs coming in about 98. And they're not pitching Machines, they move.

[John Holmberg]

Foul tips count.

[Brett]

No. Got to put it in play.

[John Holmberg]

Could you, I don't know, be willing.

[Brett]

To give it a shot? I had the crazy arrogance for a while there to say that I could strike out Luis Gonzalez with a wiffle ball ball. Still think I could. And I actually thought for a while when he was retired, I think I could put one by him. I'd get one past you. Hardball, hardball, swinging a miss. I get this.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Maybe even hall of famers. 3 out of 10.

[Brett]

Yeah, but have you ever seen batting practice? They don't swing and miss.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Yeah, and I guess it is coming in even because the batting, the pitching length is, like, cutting a little bit.

[Brett]

But they're not chucking 123ft. I can throw about 80 miles an hour right now. It's decent. The guys would make mincemeat out of it. Every pitch that I would throw would get just hammered by a pro.

[John Holmberg]

Jamie Meyer made a career of that.

[Brett]

Yeah, but he made. That ball was dancing like a boomerang. Anyway, it is an interesting male ego thing to think that we could do this, but that golf thing has legs. There's something to that. Would Steve do this? Yeah, he'd be all over it. We just need to arrange it with a golf course, because I think it's possible. Beat a pro, all you have to do is putt. We'd have to film it and stuff. And then Brett and Toledo would have to edit it for free. Cause that's how Hubbard works.

[John Holmberg]

This is charity.

[Brett]

Shh. Quiet down. No, we haven't sponsored it and gotten a bunch of money for the charity, so it's not. Yeah, it would be pretty amazing. I think it's a thing we should think about. Screw the Heat Stroke Open. Let's just have. I don't know if it's legal or not. A bunch of dudes donate money to a charity, and they get the chance to play with a pro, and all they have to do is putt. We'd get Doug Hopkins out there. You get Kevin Rowe out there. Not those guys wouldn't be who you're playing. And then we just dump in a bunch of even local pros. Doesn't have to be guys on the PGA Tour. Dudes in that corn ferry thing or whatever that's called. Yeah, college guys. The ASU team. I know. Those guys kind of suck sometimes. Sometimes they're not very good. Surprising when you see college golf scores and guys like seven over. He's not gonna make.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Rarely is it that I watched one.

[Brett]

The other Day, and they were playing in South Carolina, and it was a college thing. And there were like nine dudes that were shooting in the high 80s. And I'm like, yeah, there's some bad golf going on in college. College sports kind of suck when you get past the first couple. Not every college can put out a great golf team. ASU should be the most dominant golf team in all of the world. No question. You've got year round golf, you got the greatest facilities of all time sitting right here. And ASU never wins. Go. We got like two good golfers. Ever come out of there? Mayfield. Well, now, Brooks. Where's the other guy that. The guy that just came out? John Ham.

[Big Dick Toledo]

John. Wrong.

[Brett]

Wrong. Yeah, that's him. Not John. Him. I was gonna say, wow, he's a good guy. He's good. Anyway.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Mickelson.

[Brett]

That's it. They. We should just be rattling off golfer names like crazy for me.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Jimmy Carter.

[Brett]

That's right. Who I beat once on the Phoenician because he was having a mental meltdown back when I was playing a lot.

[Big Dick Toledo]

That'd be a good challenge too, because he's still place an event or two.

[Brett]

There you go. Jimmy Carter was not the president. Okay, One. One of the Jimmy Carters was not this one, but this Jimmy Carter played at the Phoenician and he was a pro. And I played with him twice. And the first time he shot like a 70, and it was great. I'm like, man, you're hitting the ball great. Next time you remember that he was topping it. He probably shot 135 that day. You don't remember that? Yeah, I do. But I stood with him. I thought he was going to cry. He couldn't hit the ball. He had the worst case of the yips ever, where I'm standing there going, I think you're jumping when you swing. I don't mean to be a swing coach, but I don't know why your feet are leaving the ground. He was going through a divorce or something. I don't know what was going on. Like he had mental. Like he was having the worst week of his life. Tough day at the office, decides to golf with you and I. And I whipped him pretty good. I think I shot like an 83. You were great. We killed that guy. He won the Phoenix Open once again, you can't. Oh, is it Tucson Open? Never mind. He's not that good. I'm sorry. I thought he was better than that, but it did kind of boost me up to go. You know, I put a Couple more hours in a week. I think I can play with these guys. He had a meltdown. We were on that hole with the water on the edge. I think it's the ninth hole of the second course. At the time. I know they changed it. Yeah, he hit like six of them. And they dribbled about 11ft right into the water out of the. He could not hit the ball of the rough. I'm in the cart with him. I'm like, you got this. Don't worry. It's all gone, man. The whole thing's over. And bitch, I gotta buy her a house. And I'm like, bloop. Right in the water. I'm like, are you okay? Push right in the water. I'm like, this is terrifying. This guy's gonna lose it. Game over, man. It's over, brother. It's over. I know we don't know each other well, but you're my best friend now. I lost that in the divorce, too. I'm like, are you getting. I don't even think you're getting divorced. I think you're just. I think you just think your life's ending.

[Big Dick Toledo]

It's a bump.

[Brett]

It's a bump. And I think it was the pressure of me playing so well that he thought he had to, like, ace it. And it just got. He got. He had a meltdown and then he was fine. Just fine.

[Big Dick Toledo]

Take 13 years on the tour.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I would throw a guess out on that hole alone. 31, 32. It was just a non stop dribble into the water. Seven, eight shots right in the water. If you're counting like one penalty one, that's 20 something shots just standing in that spot. It was weird, but it was funny. Like in hindsight. And it made me think, I think you can beat some of these guys. You know, I've had the arrogance to believe that I could beat half of China in a foot race. And then you start thinking about it, it's like, you probably could.

[John Holmberg]

You talk about beating the wnba.

[Brett]

Oh, I could feel the team and be on it right now. I could be on a. I could be on a team of five and be the low post center her, and we could be the WNBA team. You give me five guys and none of them could be over 18. That's my role. I'll go five dudes under the age 18, but four of them start in me, and we would demolish a WNBA team. But I'm talking about sports breath, not like, you know, my bad. Not novelty nonsense. Sure. I could beat a bunch of ladies at shopping too, if I put my mind to it. I just don't want to do it. Do it. I don't think I could beat them at shopping. Grocery shopping. That's their job. That's where they're.

[Big Dick Toledo]

They can last so much longer.

[Brett]

That's where they shine. Anyway. It's weird. It's been in my brain since I saw the little article about like most men think that they could do these things. Let me put perspective on it and then challenge. And I'm like, that's the best TV show I've ever seen. Because I think they just said a regular gaw. I put it on the master's course because that's a tough one. One I got as you, you and I have played courses. I played the Phoenix Open course the week of the tournament. You're not touching that green.

[Big Dick Toledo]

The greens.

[Brett]

You're not touching it. You cannot land a ball.

[Big Dick Toledo]

You miss a fairway, you're going to.

[Brett]

Miss all the time. We played, we got. We hated it. Like me and I threw my Chuck, our old boss and a couple other media guys. It was also freezing. But every shot we hit, like, that's a good one. It would roll like 28ft away from wherever you're and just right off the green and then you try to chip it on and they're gonna roll off the other side. I'm like, how do you stop it? You don't. It's crazy. You'd have to. What you'd have to do is eventually just hit it like eight feet at a time because you're 70ft away. Little bits here and there. Baby steps, baby step. Do not over hit that ball. And take your fours on par threes. Take your threes on par fives. That would be the key. You got to try on par fives. I think it can be done and I'd love to watch it and put a, put a tariff on it at the end. Put a million dollars down. Joe Schmo. They've had that golf thing, Joe Schmo with Steph Curry. But that's like a putt putt, like a real game. You're not gonna beat a pro golfer putt. And you're not gonna beat Brooks Koepka. If he's like, you're on 17 and you've got a two stroke lead, he's gonna, he's gonna beat you. It's gonna happen anyway. Put it in your head. You now got conversation for the rest of the day. And it's gonna drive you nuts? Because you're gonna talk yourself in and out of this like I've been doing for the last 20 hours. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KVD. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[Big Dick Toledo]

No membership fees.

[Brett]

I have heard enough of this. Prestige has everything you need for your game room from top of the line pool tables to billiard balls and everything in between. This includes game room furniture, air hockey, dartboards, ping pong tables, arcade games and much more. Prestige Billiards is family owned and operated and is dedicated to providing the very best quality products and service. Prestige Billiards has five star ratings on Yelp and financing is available. Check them out at Prestige Billiards AZ.com or in person at one of their three locations in Mesa, Scottsdale and now Glendale. Prestige Billiards delivers statewide. And tell them John Holberg sent you. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for this week's pick of the litter, brought to you by our friends at Turf monsters. Go to turfmonstersaz.com they help us out at Lost our home pet rescue. We appreciate them greatly. This week's peck of the litter is a project. It's Jep. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees right now. It's this week. Pick of the litter. It's Jeff. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com.