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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
John Ulberg
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John Holmberg
Chilling away from my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. My friend just hit a bird in his truck. Well, actually the bird hit his truck, but it hit so hard that the windshield broke. New Vision Autoglass has a warehouse right here in town, so sometimes you can actually get the work done the same day you call. And not only that, you know they're going to give you up to $375 cash back. Go to new visionautoglass.com Answer a few questions, find out how much you qualify. If you've got a broken windshield, at least get the feathers off and then call 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass Proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks, It's John Holmberg here, seeing clear as a bell, thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Good vision. It's imperative all the pro ball players in Town Trust Dr. Jay Schwartz. And so do I. My experience? I went from seeing 2400 back to close to 2020 after my complimentary consultation with Dr. Schwartz. He put a plan together and got me seeing beautifully, clearly and vividly. You can do it, too. Get rid of those glasses or contacts and get your consultation with Dr. Schwartz now. Go to Schwartz laser.com or call 480-483-Eyes, Suns and Diamondbacks. Trust them. So should you go with the pros? Go Shorts Laser Eye Center Homberg's Morning Sickness the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to.
Brady
Throw him in jail.
John Holmberg
Congratulations to the hit king. He's like it or not, going to be in the hall of Fame eventually. Rules don't matter. Before we get to the entertainment draw, I just sent this and this video exists now. Theo Vaughn, the comedian is caught in a Nashville bar choking a guy, and they got videotape of it. Oh, man, a Guy walks up to him with, like, happy birthday balloons, and things don't go well. And then Theo grabs him by the throat and starts fighting him. And I think that just cements what I've always said, no matter what your intentions are, never sneak up on somebody with a mullet. They're unpredictable. And Theo's got, like. He's the king of mullets.
Brady
So he's looking at a soul truck.
John Holmberg
He's probably going to have to pay this person some money. So one eyewitness says he used crushing force. That's never good in a courtroom. How would you describe the force that Mr. Vaughn used crushing your honor? Anyway, the guy with the balloons with a group of people who had repeatedly bothered Theofon. I said hello to them the first time but didn't want to be bothered all night. And that guy was just went over and said, Theo said they were just trying to screw with him the whole time. Nashville bar. Never trust him in a bar. A man with a mullet in a bar is the least predictable man on the planet. That's like Nashville, no less. A cobra, for God's sakes. Why would you walk up to a cobra and try to tease it? Men with mullets with alcohol in the vicinity adjacent to a Budweiser, keep your distance. There should be a glass wall between that and people. But I like Theo. He's a good dude. I watched him get mad at somebody at the Orpheum when I hosted that thing for those comedians. And he was one of the guys down there. He was the first one in, and he didn't understand why there were no dressing rooms. And, like, nobody knew what and when anything was happening. And he was screaming at somebody in the hallway who was just kind of like a dude. I just. I worked the door or you said, where do I go? I put you down. I don't know. Can you get somebody down here, know something? I'm like, whoa. And I said, I'm hosting the event tonight. And goes, yeah, I'm not mad at you. Nobody knows a thing around here. And then he calmed right down. It was fine. I'm like, mullet people, they have triggers. I said, triggers? Theo, don't get excited. Mullet people also like words that rhyme with triggers. It's 10:07. Let's get the entertainment drill going. It is brought to you by our friends and@reactdefense.com, the home of tactical black self defense training. You had your mother's day opportunity. That was a few days ago. Now you got father's Day coming up in a little bit. Why not do this as a gift? You got a birthday in between, somebody you care about. And it doesn't matter what age, they're really probably just finishing up right now. The Silver Sheepdog. That is a cool thing where they got people, they got guy I think he's 80, who just finished the highest level test there is without breaks. It's like a four hour test. And you know why? Because if you keep moving, you get better. Here's the thing. The reason you work out is not so you're great now, it's so you are better later. It helps your brain function, it helps your body. Trust me, as a guy who's been through four joint surgeries from beating myself up, the only reason I like working out as much as I do is so I don't have to worry about that later on. Especially your brain. A lot of studies say that your brain shuts down when you shut down. So keep moving, stay active. This 80 year old guy is a perfect example. He's up there in the Silver Sheepdog program, kicking ass, doing great, staying in shape, feeling good while he's old. Nothing worse than being old and sedentary because you can't move because you treated yourself like garbage years earlier. Remedy that. React Defense is the place to do it. You become a smarter version of yourself and you get in great shape doing it. All the stuff they have to offer is online@reactdefense.com and the price is unbeatable. Two months of training for 199 bucks. And that's personal training, face to face right there. You're gonna learn it the day you get there. Crawl, walk, run into a better version of yourself. Reactdefense.com the Home Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
Brady
One of the stars of Happy Gilmore has died. The old man, Morris the alligator.
John Holmberg
Oh, the one that bit Chubb's hand.
Brady
Yep. He was probably between the ages of 80 and 100 years old. He also appeared in the 1980s movie Alligator, Interview with a Vampire and Dr. Dolittle 2.
John Holmberg
Wow. He died doing what he loved. Wow.
Brady
He was living in a. On a gator farm in Colorado.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brady
That's right, the Colorado gator farm.
John Holmberg
Did they know which one he is? If there was a farm and they.
Brady
Actually, they had a picture of them on there.
John Ulberg
That's the guy.
John Holmberg
Well, I don't want to sound bigoted, but I don't think I could tell one from the other because he was.
Brady
In his own pen.
John Holmberg
They'll look alike. Oh, yeah. I think all of. Yeah, I agree with that, Brett. Yeah. The prehistoric lizard things all similar to me. And I'm sorry that I can't differentiate. I know.
Brady
Oh, he's got the ones weighed in at £640.
John Holmberg
Or a tattoo, maybe. He's big. That's a big one.
Brady
Kim Kardashian. War.
John Holmberg
To be honest with you, Brady, if you were told that a gator in front of you was Morris from Happy Gilmore, would you be like, no way. You pretty much take anyone's word for it, right? Like, there isn't a single thing about it. You'd be like, that's not from Happy Gilmore. Unless it was a baby.
Brady
I could identify Morris.
John Holmberg
Could you?
Brady
No. I could.
John Holmberg
Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So I'm not wrong.
Brady
But on that farm, he's probably gotta be one of the bigger.
John Holmberg
Okay, but any. What I'm saying is any farm with alligators can claim they've got Morris from Happy Gilmore. Even the Happy Gilmore people.
Brady
Sure.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
Kim Kardashian.
John Holmberg
I have some more skepticism in my life than Brady does.
Brady
Kim Kardashian wore $7 million in diamonds to testify against the men who tied her up and stole her jewelry in Paris in 2016.
John Ulberg
She wanted to show off.
John Holmberg
That's an FU.
John Ulberg
Yeah, no kidding.
Brady
Three million dollar 52 karat necklace.
John Holmberg
Swing that D. That's a Kanye move. She learned that crap from Kanye.
Brady
Matching diamond earrings, rings, and an anklet that she wore.
John Holmberg
All of it. 5 million in front of them.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
I win. And you're still going to jail for it. Good move.
Brady
A new book about Joe Biden's mental state. It's called I Was called Perfect Original Sin.
John Holmberg
No, no, it changed the title of that book. But it's called Perfect. Oh, come on, Matt. Perfect. I was doing great.
Brady
It's written by Jake Tapper. It's written by me, Alex Thompson.
John Holmberg
It's called. You're talking about a different book. I wrote a book called I'm Perfect. All the words are in a jumble. You got to figure it out yourself.
Brady
According to the book, they said one of the things the president didn't recognize. George Clooney.
John Holmberg
Yeah. That's the thing. When we all.
Brady
Basically.
John Holmberg
That thing, we all saw it in.
Brady
And said, that's what Clooney.
John Holmberg
Go.
Brady
Okay.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And Obama basically said, get on my back. I'll let you ride me out.
Brady
Yes.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Come with me, Gerald. This is the.
Brady
It was a fundraiser in June of 2024.
John Holmberg
You are completely. Who's that? Who's that guy over There. I remember him from Facts of Life. Started Clooney, you idiot. It was a facts life. I remember Facts Life. Yeah. George Washington Clooney.
Brady
We've been seeing pictures of President Trump, his meetings. Right Now. One of the things that the folks in Saudi Arabia did, they pulled out a mobile McDonald's. I saw semi.
John Holmberg
It was sweet, right? They know what he likes.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
Yeah. George, George. George Washington Clooney. Founded the Peanut on the er. It was. Come on, man.
Brady
There it is.
John Holmberg
Come on, man. I got it. I can share it. Come on.
John Ulberg
Are you joking?
John Holmberg
Joke. No joke. Kind of. On the View.
John Ulberg
Did you just say.
John Holmberg
Did you see him on. Did you see him on the View the other day? No. It was pretty funny because, you know, he's doing all right. Then he goes, oh, yeah, come French cop. Ratchet like, oh, no. Oh, no. He's. Turn him down. It's like the tape decade. Your tape in 1987. Josie's on a vacation trucking over. That's. I think that's what he's trying to say. The lyrics to the Outfield song that Jos. On Vacation. Let's go in and talk it over. So many things I want to say. You know I like my girls a little older.
Brady
Make your plans for August 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Brady
To San Francisco. No dead and company. No celebrating 60th anniversary of the Grateful Dead.
John Holmberg
Why would I do that and not see them at Sphere in Vegas? What's better about that than San Francisco? I get it. They're from there.
Brady
It's where it's happening.
John Holmberg
No, it's not. It's where it happened. Now all those old hippies are millionaire.
John Ulberg
Only if they're brave enough to do it in downtown San Francisco. Right now.
John Holmberg
I hope it turns into Jonestown in San Francisco. Brett's right. Let's hope it turns into dead Jonestown. Everybody drink the Grateful Dead Kool Aid, and we'll be grateful that you're dead. Oh, if we could just eliminate them from history. I just thought of this. But if you gave me a time machine so you can go back and kill any baby ever. Hitler?
Brady
Nah.
John Holmberg
Cherry Garcia. Bob Weir. I'm like, all right. High on the list. Who else you got?
John Ulberg
So you're saying you're willing to listen to offers?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Mark David Chapman. Grateful dead. Still winning 3 11's mom. Oh, ouch. Trey Anastasio's mom. Oh. Fish's mom. Still. Might go back and kill the dead. Mrs. Buffett. Oh, geez Louise. Mrs. Jimmy Buffett. The Mama Buffett. I'm gonna have to abuse that time machine. That's gonna be a murder box, Mama.
Brady
Morrison.
John Holmberg
Jim Morrison. He's lower. He's a lot lower than the dead people. Doris fans are just dumb. They're not as annoying. Man, that's a tough one. I think Grateful Dead are. They're ahead of Hitler, I'll tell you that. That's a toss up between fish and the dead for me. Yeah, they've done more, more damage to the world than because the fish tried to improve on the dead Net failed, tried to continue. Yeah, Hitler's definitely choppable. If they said it's got to be a politician, it's Hitler. It's got to be music. Grateful Dead. That's true. All right, there you go. And then just random, the inventor of the guy who puts those plastic boxes around medicine. You can't open those things to cut my hands every time. We're all done. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a glorious Wednesday. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning sickness.
John Ulberg
It's not weird.
Brady
It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for this week's pick of the litter, brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters. Go To Turf Monsters AZ.com they help us out at Lost our home pet rescue, and we appreciate them greatly. Uh, this week's peck of the litter is a project. It's Jep. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees right now. It's this week. Pick of the litter. It's Jep. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com From Monument Valley.
John Ulberg
To Sedona, Horseshoe Bend, Grand Canyon, and more, you might think you've seen all Arizona has to offer. Well, I'd tell you if you haven't been fishing in Arizona, you haven't seen a thing. It's Dick Toledo from Homework's morning sickness. And my first time fishing in Arizona was up in Greer with my friend Jeremy. He was the pro that I'm definitely not. But grabbing a fishing license that weekend was the passport that opened up the whole state to me. And you can get your license@azgfd.gov and discover for yourself a whole new way to take in the Arizona sights.
John Holmberg
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Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: Entertainment Drill - WED - Kim Kardashian Wore Millions In Jewelry To Trial Of Her Robbers - Biden Book To Be Released
Release Date: May 14, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Station: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Overview:
The episode opens with John Holmberg discussing a recent altercation involving comedian Theo Vaughn at a Nashville bar. The incident has gone viral, showcasing Theo's unpredictable nature, especially when combined with his signature mullet.
Key Points:
"The guy with the balloons ... Theo said they were just trying to screw with him the whole time." (02:29)
Notable Quote:
Brady muses on the unpredictability of mullet-wearers:
"Never sneak up on somebody with a mullet. They're unpredictable. And Theo's got, like, he's the king of mullets." (02:27)
Overview:
Holmberg and Brady pay tribute to Morris, the beloved alligator character from the movie Happy Gilmore, who recently passed away.
Key Points:
"They look alike. Oh, yeah. I think all of. Yeah, I agree with that, Brett." (06:32)
"He died doing what he loved." (06:11)
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg reflects on Morris's role in films:
"Wow. He died doing what he loved." (06:11)
Overview:
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Kim Kardashian's appearance in court, where she donned over seven million dollars' worth of diamonds during her trial against the individuals who allegedly robbed her in Paris.
Key Points:
"She wanted to show off. That's an FU." (07:48)
"Swing that D. That's a Kanye move. She learned that crap from Kanye." (07:59)
"She wore three million dollar 52 karat necklace, matching diamond earrings, rings, and an anklet." (07:47)
Notable Quote:
Brady comments on the opulence of Kardashian's attire:
"Kim Kardashian wore $7 million in diamonds to testify against the men who tied her up and stole her jewelry in Paris in 2016." (07:34)
Overview:
The hosts delve into the release of a controversial new book analyzing President Joe Biden's mental state, uncovering startling claims about his cognitive health.
Key Points:
"According to the book, they said one of the things the president didn't recognize was George Clooney." (08:34)
"When we all saw it ... President Trump, his meetings." (08:44)
"It was a fundraiser in June of 2024." (08:55)
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg humorously critiques the book's claims:
"I have heard enough of this. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for this week's pick of the litter." (12:46)
Overview:
In a controversial segment, the hosts express strong negative sentiments towards the Grateful Dead, particularly in light of their upcoming 60th-anniversary celebrations.
Key Points:
"Make your plans for August 1st, 2nd, and 3rd to San Francisco. No celebrating 60th anniversary of the Grateful Dead." (10:21)
"Let's hope it turns into dead Jonestown. Everybody drink the Grateful Dead Kool Aid, and we'll be grateful that you're dead." (11:16)
"I'm gonna have to abuse that time machine. That's gonna be a murder box, Mama." (11:23)
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg vents his frustration towards the band:
"Let's hope it turns into dead Jonestown. Everybody drink the Grateful Dead Kool Aid, and we'll be grateful that you're dead." (11:16)
Overview:
Towards the end of the episode, Holmberg and his co-hosts shift focus to local Arizona businesses and community initiatives, highlighting their support for various causes and services.
Key Points:
"This week's pick of the litter is a project. It's Jep." (12:48)
"My first time fishing in Arizona was up in Greer with my friend Jeremy." (13:24)
"Prestige Billiards has everything you need for your game room, from top of the line pool tables to billiard balls and everything in between." (13:53)
Notable Quote:
John Holmberg encourages community support:
"Let's get him a forever home." (12:48)
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivers a mix of entertainment news, humorous banter, and local community highlights. From dissecting high-profile celebrity incidents and controversial publications to expressing bold opinions on musical legends, the hosts ensure a lively and engaging discussion. Additionally, their commitment to supporting local businesses and community causes adds a heartfelt dimension to the show, making it both entertaining and relatable for listeners.
Listen Live: Tune in or visit 98KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM.
Follow the Show: Stay updated with the latest episodes and exclusive content through the 98KUPD app.