05-15-25 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 05-15-25 | Release Date: May 15, 2025

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1. Sports Ethics and Hall of Fame Debates

The hosts delved into the controversial topics surrounding Pete Rose and the use of steroids in baseball. John Holmberg initiated the discussion by addressing the longstanding debate over Pete Rose's eligibility for the Hall of Fame, despite his lifetime ban for gambling.

Dale Hellistra emphasized the distinction between steroid use and betting scandals:

"The beauty of baseball is that it's a numbers game. That's math. That cannot be, you know, changed..." ([06:05])

Dick Toledo and Dale further explored how steroids have tainted the integrity of baseball statistics, contrasting it with other sports like football, where performance metrics are less susceptible to manipulation.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg: "Well, none of the quote unquote, big steroid guys have even been in the hall of Fame." ([06:40])

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2. High-Profile Legal Cases: Diddy's Trial

A significant portion of the episode was dedicated to discussing the trial of rapper Diddy, who faced serious sexual assault allegations. The hosts approached the topic with a blend of humor and insensitivity, which may disturb some listeners.

Dale Hellistra recounted the harrowing details of the accusations, interspersed with crude humor about the nature of the assault:

"She said the least favorite thing I heard was when the Craigslist sex workers would finish on Cassie, Diddy would make her go in another room..." ([19:08])

While the discussion aimed to entertain, the sensitive nature of the topic highlights the show's intent to provoke and disturb as per its description.

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3. Arizona Politics and Governor's Security

The hosts scrutinized the excessive security measures for Arizona Governor Katie Hobbs, questioning the necessity and transparency of such protocols. Dale Hellistra shared his experience visiting a security operations center and interacting with Hobbs, expressing skepticism over the level of protection provided.

Dale criticized the governor's security detail:

"But why don't you just do it right, go hide, stop trying to look like a big show. Why do you drive around like that?" ([61:00])

He suggested more discreet measures, such as using a single, unassuming vehicle instead of multiple high-end cars.

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4. Parenting Challenges and LGBTQ+ Youth

Listener emails sparked a conversation about parenting children discovering their sexual orientation. The hosts discussed strategies for handling such revelations, often resorting to derogatory language and reinforcing traditional gender roles.

Dale Hellistra responded to a caller, Sean, whose son was caught engaging with another boy in school:

"But I do. I do understand your passion for, for incredible Pete Rose..." ([05:27])

This segment reflected the show's tendency to engage in contentious and polarizing discussions, aligning with its goal to "question and disturb."

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5. Social Commentary and Humor

Throughout the episode, the hosts interspersed serious discussions with humorous banter and off-topic jokes. Topics ranged from mispronunciations to exaggerated anecdotes about personal experiences.

Notable Humorous Exchange:

Dale Hellistra: "If some wizard power said, you have to, Megan's out and your dogs live longer. Would you do that?"

John Holmberg: "I'm not paying for it." ([153:50])

These segments showcased the show's dynamic and often irreverent style, aiming to keep listeners engaged through a mix of humor and controversy.

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6. Community and Listener Engagement

The later parts of the show focused on community issues, such as animal rescue and supporting local businesses. The hosts promoted various local services and encouraged listeners to engage with charitable causes.

Dale Hellistra highlighted the importance of adopting pets:

"So when you hear somebody like Ian, who gave Diesel, The German Shepherd, 13 great years, I know it sounds callous. But if you're a good, if you're a good pet person, get over the whole I'm not ready yet thing and recognize you know what, the next dog needs me and you'll find it." ([146:56])

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness encapsulated the show's mission to entertain, question, and provoke its Arizona-based audience. Through a blend of sports ethics debates, high-profile legal discussions, political commentary, and humor, the hosts maintained a lively and often controversial dialogue aimed at engaging and challenging their listeners.

Key Quotes:

• John Holmberg: "Well, none of the quote unquote, big steroid guys have even been in the hall of Fame." ([06:40])
• Dale Hellistra: "But I do understand your passion for, for incredible Pete Rose." ([05:27])
• Dale Hellistra: "But why don't you just do it right, go hide, stop trying to look like a big show." ([61:00])
• Dale Hellistra: "If some wizard power said, you have to, Megan's out and your dogs live longer. Would you do that?" ([153:50])

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments to focus solely on the substantive discussions and interactions during the show.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Dale Hellistra]

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[Dale Hellistra]

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[Eddie]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, cock's broken again. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to the morning sickness. How are you? It's 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's big diction leader. Let's get this thing going. I'm already I got back and forth going with people about Pete Rose yesterday. I don't know why that fired Listen to this guy got all he's mad. Daniel's right. Daniel, go back and forth. You can have this thought. Daniel said you and Brett are such and then he used a slur homo F words. He says enough of Pete Rose cheated. He's a legend. I don't know how you're typing so so clearly Daniel, with your slurs and stuff when you've got Pete Rose dick in your hands. You guys sound like sour women. This is my biggest bitch voice. He bet on baseball. He's not supposed to do that. Now you're talking about steroids. Pete Rose didn't do steroids. Ben Roethlisberger raped people, won a title. He's a stealer. He's cool. I typically agree with you, but this time Brady's the only one who's right. Daniel, they're like five minutes later. He's listening in middle like 12 in the morning. I feel bad for him because he's got to yell at the air. He can't just email us on the fly. He's like in the middle of the night.

[Toledo]

That's when you're gonna get some good rage too.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh yeah, you get that I'm at work at 12. I don't like my life kind of thing. You know how it is, Brett, when you fire off at people who are asleep.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Daniel, it's okay. We still care about you. But I do, I do understand your passion for, for incredible Pete Rose. He's driving weather. Yeah, he's. Yeah, it's him leaving.

[Toledo]

Did it natural.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. He wasn't on steroids. Nobody ever said that. But yeah, I agree with. Well, cuz people were asking what about people who did steroids? Should they be kicked out forever too? And I'm like, you know, we basically made the comparison that there's the steroid guys and then there's dudes who cheated the system and there's that kind of thing you do. It's a game that was based on statistics and completely tied to other eras. That was the comparison of baseball's eras is the statistics led them through so long as they were factual and fair and on an even playing field. And they weren't with steroids and everybody knew it. So yeah, that's a different, that's a difference maker. So you have to separate that era from the rest of them as far as records go. Because the whole thing about baseball is stats. I mean it's the only, it's the only major sport where you actually are encouraged to keep score yourself. Like each pitch. Like they give you a book. They don't do that in football to chart plays. That's what you do in baseball. It's a statistically based game. It's very analytical and you can manipulate.

[Toledo]

This stats a little bit.

[Dale Hellistra]

In what way?

[Toledo]

Yeah, I mean as far as when they're keeping them in the history of baseball, like how they're keeping certain games and pitches and saves because the game has changed.

[Dale Hellistra]

I mean that's not manipulating stats, that's adding statistics. You can't. It's math. Right, but that's the point. You can't manipulate the stats. A guy who had 340 hit 340. A guy who hit 32510 years later, you can't, you can't manipulate those numbers.

[Toledo]

You could because being ruled a hit.

[Dale Hellistra]

Or an error, that's the trust of the game, right? On whether or not the scorekeeper's doing.

[Toledo]

His job, I'm going to give him a hit.

[Dale Hellistra]

All right. That's one out of every 10,000 hits that you're going to be like, oh, okay, they jobbed us on that. You literally can't manipulate the math at the end of the year. Everybody agrees this is what the math was for this hitter. If there's a guy out there that says, I was robbed of 600 different hits, the human error factor of an umpire comes in on balls and strikes and whatever, that's not manipulation. That's essentially just like an agreement by both teams that there's going to be mistakes and it's going to balance out, but it's not enough to change the course of the game. Now if you have an umpire that's missing calls like crazy, he's fired. That's the way it should be.

[John Holmberg]

Well, none of the quote unquote, big steroid guys have even been in the hall of Fame.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, I mean, not the ones that, you know, the big pop, he's the only one. And that's more of a thing for the Dominican Republic. Yeah, yeah. I mean, but Bonds, the beauty of baseball is that it's an. At the end of the day, it's a numbers game. That's math. That cannot be, you know, changed or like, oh, but this, you can then argue which is the fun of baseball. Did this era supersede this era and who was better and whatever. And what was the pitching like then? And the baseball was, you know, the mound was a little higher and you.

[Toledo]

Know, that's what I was kind of alluding to because some of the, you know those old pitchers where they're just going the entire game.

[Dale Hellistra]

Sure.

[Toledo]

And not having a five day.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right. But again, closers, it was, it's, it's the advancements is not manipulation. It's different. I'm not hearing anything. You got something in your ear.

[Toledo]

Do you hear that?

[Dale Hellistra]

No. You all right? Follow the light, Brady. Follow the light.

[John Holmberg]

Going off.

[Toledo]

It's an alarm.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, that'll happen. This building has alarms. Okay, it's now good.

[Toledo]

I wasn't.

[Dale Hellistra]

Thriller might be laying in the hallway or something. Maybe his Met Alert just fire. Who knows? Yeah, it could be a fire. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

It even went to the home run records back in the day. I mean, you know, Roger Maris had more games than Babe Ruth had.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And people were, oh, it's an asterisk.

[Dale Hellistra]

But that's the fun of it is that you are like debating all because you agreed statistically each guy was even up. Then steroids came along. You're like, well, I mean now things are completely different. Like you have a.

[Toledo]

If Bonds was in Colorado, oh, sure.

[Dale Hellistra]

But if you have. But if you add drugs to that and you're like, this is definitely an enhancement and it is agreed upon by everyone. The reason baseball players did what they did is because this definitely enhances my performance. If it didn't, it wouldn't have run, you know, wildfire through the league. And baseball is. Baseball lost a lot when it went through that because it was the first time. You're like, no, this is, this is actually cheating the game. 70 home runs fairly easily was cheating the game. Then you get a guy like Aaron Judge who does, you know, his 62 and it's kind of regarded as the real record because you're pretty sure he did that legitimately. It's a huge man.

[Toledo]

I wonder what was the year that, you know, between football and baseball they said, all right, let's start testing.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, I mean, yeah, it's got to be what, mid-70s or when you started.

[Toledo]

I mean, steroids, they've been around for a while.

[Dale Hellistra]

There's a blind eye in football to steroids for sure. Well, it's a little, I mean, it's, it's so far gone. It's. And plus, it's not a statistical game. It really isn't. I mean, you have statistics, but you're not comping differences like that. It is, it's, it's totally different. It's wins, losses, championships, more than it is like individual players. Everybody knows that the touchdown record couldn't possibly have happened back in the day when they used to, you know, not even allow passing. So I mean, they've changed rule after rule after rule and they're like drastically changed the game. And why? Because steroids came along and dudes were 325 pounds, can run, you know, four 9 40s and kill people.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

So they had to be careful because, you know, then lawsuits start happening.

[John Holmberg]

According to Google, baseball banned the use of steroids in 91, then agreed on testing in 2003, but didn't mandate mandated until 2004.

[Dale Hellistra]

They were sort of like, this isn't bad. It's kind of fun to watch. It is.

[John Holmberg]

All those years between and it's like, we'll get to it eventually.

[Dale Hellistra]

Back and forth we go though on the emails. Pete Rose was it. And that's the. See to me, that's the fun of it is baseball has those arguments of like, did they, didn't they? Is this. You can't, you can't really go back in time with football and go, oh, those old 70s Steelers sure would beat the tar out of the Patriots. No, they wouldn't. It's a different game. They would get. It depends on which era. Like if you took the 2002 Patriots and put them in 1976 and tried to let them play the Raiders and Steelers with those rules. That team would get killed because they don't know, you know, like the rules are so much more like pansy ass compared. I mean you get killed in the 70s. Now you take the 70s teams and put them in the modern era. You know, back in the day throwing 3,000 yards in a season was unbelievable. Now five, we don't even bat an eye when a guy throws for 5000 yards. 4000 is pretty average for every quarterback. Every decent starting quarterbacks Getting at least 4,3000 is the bare minimum of a starting girl. Like Tyrod Taylor's a 3,000 yard quarterback with his eyes closed. So yeah, it's weird, but yep, I enjoy that. So I'm glad those people get in there and start hopping in and yapping away about, you know, Pete Rose doing this, Pete Rose doing that. It's a debate, that's the fun of it. And a closed minded person will start calling you the homo F word. An open minded decent human being like me will hear you despite your slurs and say yeah, it's a good point. You can have that opinion. I see what you're saying. My personal thought is he shouldn't get into the hall of Fame, but his accomplishments should. The bat, his uniform, all the stuff. And then a plaque that says disgraced former player Pete Rose who was banned from baseball for life and will never be in the hall of Fame also had this accomplishment of hits and then you know, break it down, he just not allowed in there on his own. The debates are fun, that's the best part of it all. But yeah, those, you know, you look at old basketball, you look at old hockey, man, when Wayne Gretzky came along, I don't know what that, what planet he's from, but you look at what he did to hockey on his own and where it. Steph Curry changed the game of basketball by himself and I don't think for the better, but that dude could hit shots from 26ft. And then kids in junior high and high school stopped wanting to dunk the ball and started practicing three pointers from forever away. Because the Splash brothers up there in San Francisco were changing the way basketball gets played. Now seven foot dudes from Croatia are shooting 30 foot threes and running like crazy. It's not the same game. So you put the old Bulls against the modern day Golden State warriors and depending on which rule you, you use, it's two different games completely what you.

[Toledo]

Know, like on the hall of fame numbers, there's 12 people that the, the board that votes on it just because he was approved saying, yeah, he can go into hall of Fame. Now it's up to them, right?

[Dale Hellistra]

It's players and there's a lot of people.

[Toledo]

But if there's a couple that is. It got. Does it have to be unanimous?

[Dale Hellistra]

No.

[Toledo]

All 12?

[John Holmberg]

No, I think it's 70%.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, it's a, it's a percentage of vote. And then, you know. Yeah. And then as you, as it's longer, you have to get more. It's. He'll get in, he'll be in. And I'm not, you know, not going to stand outside and protest like AOC or anything. If he gets in, he gets in, but I'd say probably doesn't. If you're going to have that rule, you might as well keep that rule in place where you ban a guy forever from the game for doing the cardinal sin. And again, every locker room has a sign you will be banned from baseball. If you ever bet on a game that's being played that you're in forever, you're out of the league forever. Trevor Bauer just had dirty sex and they banned him forever.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, officially, not unofficially.

[Dale Hellistra]

Unofficially, he ain't going to the hall of Fame unless it's in Japan, because that's where he plays now. And speaking of that. Oh, the fun of the Diddy trial continues. They got that pregnant. Brought up there another day to talk about freak offs. And she said, and they asked her, how many freak offs have you been in? She said, ah, hundreds. Like, oh my God, hundreds of freak offs. Yeah, a few of those are gonna feel like rape. I think I'm almost positive of that. Hundreds of sex parties. You can't be 100 for 100. You just can't. A couple of those sex parties, you're gonna walk away from going, oh boy.

[Toledo]

I didn't like that.

[Dale Hellistra]

That one got out of hand. Yeah, of course you are. And the more sex parties you're part of, the more people are gonna go off roading on your body. You know, you're not necessarily, you're not necessarily gon lovely lovemaking experience each time you go to a freak off. And now she's complaining about a few. Day three, Johnny's in the jury and I read about some. I'm leaning towards Diddy still. Now he did some stuff where he'd kick her and he'd hit her. And then the sex workers that he hired from Craigslist would ask her when they were done. Are you okay? The least favorite thing I heard was when the Craigslist sex workers would finish on Cassie, Diddy would make her go in another room and he'd rub his body all over their juice. Wow. Diddy's crazy. However, not illegal to want another man's yummy rubbed up against you off of your girlfriend. She started having prideful moments and I know that sounds terrible, but her pride, she went. Marcellus Wallace. Her pride started with her a little. And while she's getting covered by Craigslist male prostitutes and Diddy's sitting there with. Rubbing his hands together, going, ah, baby oil. Screaming out instructions from the sideline like he's John Calipari. And then they'd get up and go in another room and sometimes he'd. And he, you know, he would enjoy the. Yeah, Brady, just swallow. Like, I get, like. I handed him some sauerkraut for Biggie Yak. Yeah, this was for Biggie. I'm thinking of you small and how about that? What if. Thank God, Biggie got shot to death? Or he'd have been at these things and people would have had to.

[Toledo]

Could have been down with him just as much.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Oh, he'd have been down with him, but I mean, he'd have to lay under Biggie and we'd have had to hear sex stories about that blob. Yuck. Take your panties off. Take your panties off. Oh, no. This is going to hurt. This is going to hurt. So through it all, Cassie's up there pregnant. They're. They're wondering how the jury's going to respond when the. When Diddy's lawyers go up there and protect him and they're going to have to attack a pregnant lady basically, who's sitting there talking about how violated she felt. Although she did release a few texts that were pretty damning about like, I don't want to do this anymore. She also released a few texts that were like, see at 7. Can't wait for tonight's freak off. It's like, oh, you loved some of them. Yeah, you're picking and choosing which freak offs were out of line. And basically to what I'm hearing, it was a no holds barred event and everybody knew would be like wrestlers suing Vince McMahon later for the chair matches. Like, I liked everything but that. But I did a hundred of them and then two of them hurt really, really bad. So she's. It's. I'm. I'm on. I'm leaning Diddy on this. And then some other lady comes forward yesterday and says, diddy raped me. And then she starts giving details and describes his penis as a little bit of an oversized Tootsie Roll. It's not very big. She goes, and this. This is not what rape victims are supposed to say. And I'm certainly not supposed to laugh when I read it, but I did when she said, when I saw it, it looked like a Tootsie Roll, a little bit bigger than a Tootsie Roll. And she goes, oh, this isn't gonna hurt. So essentially she's like, all right, I'll. If I'm gonna get raped by anything, I guess this Tootsie Roll will do.

[John Holmberg]

Is she playing this in the background?

[Dale Hellistra]

She have Tootsie Roll call? Do you have that at the ready? Lay down, bitch. Oh, no, don't rape me, please. No, I'm coming at you. Nobody can hear your cries. His pants come off. Oh, all right, go ahead. We'll get this over with.

[Toledo]

The walking song to the.

[Dale Hellistra]

How many licks did it get to the center? I laughed when I read it because it's horrible story when you think about it. But again, there goes that argument, ladies, of size doesn't matter because she made it matter in a big way. Oh, God, I'm gonna get raped.

[Toledo]

Oh, by that I'll just go to.

[Dale Hellistra]

Sleep for a little bit till you do it. Size does matter. In that case, size matters in a big way. If he came out with a huge hog, she'd been. She just basically said, oh, his dick isn't gonna hurt. This kind of sucks, but I'll tell on him later. But she breaks out that he's got a baby penis. Now, the fun part of that's gonna be if that ever gets linked into this, which I don't think it can because these are allegations from another thing that in order to prove the point, he has to whip it out and show that he's got a little sample egg like Michael Jackson had to show his penis.

[John Holmberg]

Does it say is he kind of countersue for defamation and breaks out the Tootsie Roll bigger than the Tootsie Roll.

[Dale Hellistra]

If my client's wiener's bigger than a Tootsie Roll, she owes him $2 million.

[John Holmberg]

This is a Snickers bottle.

[Dale Hellistra]

Upside down, Snickers bottom. Oh, veiny.

[Toledo]

You actually think you'd hear about it from all the freak off parties that people have attended?

[Dale Hellistra]

Maybe. I think it's classier to not talk about the size of Diddy's wiener because it also makes you seem like, oh, so it's okay. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Talking about peeing.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, it makes. It makes the victim sound pretty bad to go, ah, was raped. But I mean, it could have been worse.

[Toledo]

No, but it would have been more of. In the. The environment and the culture of like, sure, you know, he's got.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. You're basically saying black people have big penises. That's what you're saying.

[Toledo]

That no surprise someone has a tiny unit. It gets talked about in Hollywood. Or someone's got a huge unit.

[Dale Hellistra]

Sure. Huge units.

[Toledo]

All these reputations that. That kind of gets out there.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's more big wieners that get talked about. I think Hollywood's done a nice job of keeping the tiny wiener celebrity. Microsoft, they keep them quiet till this. But as a rape victim, you can't size shame. You know, you can't sit back and go. And her quote was, this isn't going to hurt that bad. This is a tal. Basically, she's saying, I'm going to have a tolerable rape now because P. Diddy's got no size. And, you know, it ain't no Snickers bar, Brett. It's more of a whatchamacallit. It's not huge, but it's not. It ain't no Tootsie Roll fun size. It isn't a fun size either, Brady. It ain't no Halloween candies. I'm full size, which is not super sized king size. It's not like a Charles and Chew. It's not like a double up.

[Eddie]

So.

[Dale Hellistra]

Whatchamacallit? Oh, a Symphony bar. It's dark chocolate, but yeah, you can't. You can't do that. That girl's. That girl's case automatically disappears because she. She size shamed the rapist into saying. She basically was saying it was rape, but it was like rape light or diet rape. It wasn't a. It wasn't a horrible rape because he's not well endowed. It was a. It was a tolerable rape. Although I'm still gonna bring it up because, yuck, I don't like it. It's more of the act of rape than it is. But she's the one who brought up size. Rape is rape in my book. But when she said, oh, it was. It was a small. She called it a. She calls it a. An itty bitty Diddy is what she said. And that's in her claim. And I'm like, all right, you're.

[Toledo]

There you go.

[Dale Hellistra]

You're just being. You're just being sort of a. About it. Rape is rape. Size doesn't matter. That's the time. Women have to really lean into that lie that they tell all the time. That size doesn't matter. They always say that size doesn't matter unless it's too big or too small. All right, Goldilocks, then size matters. You need. You need to be in your nice area there. Luckily, I'm off the rack, so I don't have to worry about that. But the itty bitty Diddy thing and rape charges, you can't. Was your rapist well endowed? Unfortunately, no.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there are different sizes of Tootsie Rolls. I mean, we do have the breakdown here.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, that'll be. You should be his lawyer then.

[John Holmberg]

She could be. The snack size bars, the half inch, half ounce sizes. You got the little midgets, the small bite sized Tootsie Rolls.

[Dale Hellistra]

We're allowed to call them that anymore. I think those are little people Tootsie.

[John Holmberg]

Rolls, classic Tootsie Rolls, giant Tootsie Roll, one of them. Just jump in there and say that I'm giant.

[Toledo]

10 inches.

[Dale Hellistra]

You're not wrong. That's what he should roll with. There's one that's called a Midgie. Oh, yeah, that's. That shouldn't be. I believe that's called a little person or a dwarf Tootsie Roll. It depends on the DNA, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, he's got.

[Toledo]

They still use it in the race, too. They still call them midgets, don't they?

[Dale Hellistra]

Huh?

[Toledo]

The race cars?

[Dale Hellistra]

No, no, they call them little people. Dirt track cars maybe. But no, no, the people are not called midgets anymore.

[John Holmberg]

No candy can be called midgets.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. No, no, you can't. Yeah. Really?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

What's a bundle of Sticks called? I bet you don't say bundle of sticks. That's exactly right. You know, once the name gets kind of tainted in. You got to change the name every time you use it. Which is still why I don't understand. Spic and span is still a thing. I don't know how that one's still on shelves, but about nips crackers. Nips Crackers? Not enough people got upset. Yeah, there are midget cars out there and stuff like that. And the reason we still say midget so cavalierly is because we're not afraid of them. That if they started marching it would be adorable. All right, everybody step aside. Stop saying that word. You're cute. What do you want me to call you? A person? That's not possible. You're too cute to be just regular people. Who's my little midget? We're not angry at Them, they shouldn't be angry at us. We don't use it disparage like we're not. See, the thing is that this can't be a slur unless we're frightened of you. If we're trying to hurt your feel, we're not trying to hurt. Nobody's trying to hurt little people's feelings ever. If we really wanted to hurt you, we'd say you were Irish. That's a slur.

[John Holmberg]

Oh man.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. So the Diddy thing's pretty funny. The itty bitty Diddy is that lady.

[John Holmberg]

This could be another Johnny Depp.

[Dale Hellistra]

Amber heard it's going well. This lady's just a brand new separate thing, which is even more fun. I'm all in on this. And there's a guy emails his anonymous name as a white guy. I love to hear that Diddy has a tiny wiener. And I think that's true too. I think all white guys are like.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, it's not just me.

[Dale Hellistra]

At least I don't have to hear about his huge black hog. Cause that's what as white guys we all think we're very happy. And Brett, you can back me up on this. In a porn, when there's a black guy in it and it's just average to below. Oh yeah, bigger than that guy. That's a good feeling. Because society has us trained to believe that that is a damaging piece. And black guys, you do it too. All my black friends like, yeah, well you know, I'm like, uh huh. Not all of you have one. One of my black friends is lying. Joe. Joe is. Maybe it's me, but he'll tell you. Come on. I would live with it too. But that's a lot to live up to. Guys, a black guy, all I'd talk about is how small it is. And then when I'd whip it out, they'd be like, that's not small. I'm like, it is for a black guy. And then everybody be like, oh geez, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. This nine inchers not. It's not up to snuff in my community. What are you used to. And then it would be a kind of a backhanded slap at yt. So it's, you know, there's, there's ways around it. But I can't, I can't get past the Diddy trial. It is a. It's good times, that's for sure. But you can't. If you've ever been sexually assaulted, you can't then size shame and say it wasn't so bad because he didn't have a big dick. That's just. That sounds like revenge to me over something that didn't go, you're smearing him. He had a lack of length and girth. You just say, I got raped. And he put his hand around her neck. He goes, I'm gonna suck the life out of you. And she says then she let her neck go and unbuckled his pants and pulled out his erect, bare skinned penis, which appeared to be the length and girth of a good sized tootsie roll. So the middle one, his.

[Toledo]

His tiny hands wrapped around my neck.

[Dale Hellistra]

She said in her suit she was relieved by the size of his penis. It wouldn't hurt as much when he raped her due to the lack of length and girth. She thought his penis was an Itty bitty Diddy. That is not a rape claim. That's stand up comedy. That's a joke. You've just made jokes and you can't have a laugh line in your rape claim.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry, the laugh track at the courtrooms.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, yeah, you can. You can. I was raped. But it's all right, y' all, listen up. Listen up. Wait, hold on. Wait till the. I've seen this. Wait till the last line. It's great. He's had little dick. Itty Bitty Diddy.

[Eddie]

Not guilty.

[Toledo]

Would Johnny Cochran have used that back in the day?

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Absolutely. The condom don't fit. You must have quit. It was baggy, like a raincoat.

[John Holmberg]

He's right. Johnny would have used it. Itty bitty did.

[Dale Hellistra]

Itty Bitty Diddy. If that was his car, Itty bitty did it. Yeah. He didn't rape. Itty bitty did he? Did he? Did he what? Not guilty. He's confused.

[Toledo]

You must have quitted.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, it's. And it, you know, it also makes you like. Oh, I've seen bigger than that. Maybe Diddy's got a regular sized one and she's just used to huge ones. She's got one of those boner garages. We've always talked about ladies that brag about how they've always, you know, had a boyfriend with a huge one, all we hear is, well, that thing's wrecked.

[John Holmberg]

She was with Lex Steele before. Did he?

[Dale Hellistra]

Right, yeah. My last boyfriend had a 10 incher. All right, well, you're off the menu because that thing's destroyed down there. I don't know why you're bragging to me about it. Before Brett, there was a girl who worked here in overnights that always talked about her boyfriend's penis and I mean, ways. And she. She took. Like. We were supposed to be impressed. I mean, it's huge. It's about 10 inches. I can't even get my hands around it. I'm like, you know, every time you talk about this, all I picture is just this gargantuan, like, mess that you're carrying around downstairs. What are you talking about? Like, you won't stop talking about. Hey, you're just. You're putting a. A semi in a garage. What are you doing? It's so unattractive.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody in this building heard about her boyfriend's crank.

[Dale Hellistra]

I still remember his name. Cause she wouldn't stop. You couldn't talk to her. How was your day? It was great. Brian and I started the morning by him taking his huge hog. I'm like, oh, here we go. I mean, sometimes it rolls over on my leg and my leg goes to sleep. What? Yeah. If he's asleep at night, it's crazy. I have conversations with it. He can play the piano. All right. It's a child. It's bigger than a child. It's like more of a high school kid. Okay. And it doesn't name for it.

[Toledo]

What's that? Fungo bat.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's crazy. Yeah. I call it Al Qaeda because it just ruins everything.

[Eddie]

So.

[John Holmberg]

You're right.

[Dale Hellistra]

Trust me. Yeah. So you've got terrible things happening. Down. So what does your gynecologist say after Ew. Usually? What's his first, like, hi, how you been? Let me tell you. Down, down here, here, here, here. Looks, looks, looks, looks. Clean, clean, clean, clean. Yeah, I can hear your echo. Because Brian, like, we know, like the Lou Gehrgs. Yeah. I consider myself luckiest guy in college in the world. Yeah, I've seen a lot of vag. This is one, one, one. Yeah. Lou Gehrig. Lou Gehrig, the gynecologist. You want to meet Brian because he's got a big one. Yeah. Die. No, no, no. Yeah. If you've got a huge hole. Congratulations. I just said. Somebody said, do an impression of the big D that girl's talking about. I don't know how to do. He was a white guy, too, which was most impressive. I don't know if I can do a white guy, big dick impression. It would come out black. Hey, man, I'm on the wrong body. I identify as a black dick. All right. How you doing? I'm Brian's big D. I know, I know. I Sounds like I was raised in another town. You didn't expect this coming out of. I'm kind of like, you know, snow. I look white, but I sound like I'm Jamaican, you know what I'm saying? So I've been wrecking this vagina for a long time and a girl goes to work and tells all her co workers about me. That's cause sometimes I brain her. You've heard of brainwashing? I actually do that from the inside. I coat it like she's going through Star wash. Yeah, that's exactly. That's a big D impression you asked for. Let's get ourselves away. Brady is conspicuously quiet here. We've mentioned Tootsie Rolls. Would you like us to go get you one?

[Toledo]

I'm getting hungry.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's what I thought. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 5 8, 5, 9800 a good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 Kub. Wake up. It's not weird.

[Eddie]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Dale Hellistra]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[F]

I sure do. It's M and P Guns Customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[John Holmberg]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[F]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or. We already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no weight.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com It's John Holmberg here.

[Dale Hellistra]

Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and doughns.com, tV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online. Doughopkins.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins Singers.

[Eddie]

Call Doug Hopkins.

[Brady Bogan]

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[Dale Hellistra]

The.

[Eddie]

Old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellistra]

There you go. Thank you, Katie and the Hobbs that's miles to nowhere. I was in a room last night with Katie Hobbs. We'll talk about that in a second. I'm not sure. Shouldn't she stink eyed me a little? I. I kind of skedaddled. We'll talk about that in a second. Before that, we'll get to all this stuff. This guy emails and says, oh, it was Sean, the dude from Monday's what would Brady do whose son got caught blowing that other kid in the bathroom. Remember that?

[John Holmberg]

I'm trying to forget it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, at least you don't have to go home to it. So the advice was, how do I handle? Do I punish him? Do I accept this? Because that's how he found out his son is gay. He emails us and asks Brady, and that's some parenting right there. I wonder what those idiots would do. And so he emailed over and Brady, you know, basically said, kick him out, never talk to him again. And we had to talk Brady off a ledge. On the air. On the air. Brady came around to his senses. But it says, hey guys, I'm the widower that did the what would Brady do about my son getting caught in the bathroom being inappropriate with another boy? Took your advice. Pretty much. Kind of went down my road. Had a huge talk, only to find out he's not 100% gay. This was an experiment. He assured me that it's a fleeting interest with the boy he was with, but he does have occasional interest in dabbling in sex with both genders. He's assured me that this generation feels that way more than they do about single heterosexual love. Help. Gulp is right. Which makes it almost worse for me to try to understand. Anyway, had a nice talk. I'm still wildly uncomfortable with this, but I've been through worse. Thanks for nothing, Brady. Signed Sean. I don't Know why he took a swing at you there at the end. But that, again, that requires a high five. Is that true of today's youth? I know that they're a little bit more fluid. That's their word with that. But is that a real thing that dudes will blow each other just to see if it's something they like? I guess that's.

[Toledo]

That's never really.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, but I mean, if they're.

[Toledo]

You hear from. From comedians, for the most part, from.

[Dale Hellistra]

One newer than one comic that said he did that, that was Greg Fitzsimmons. And, yeah, I don't know who knows if it was real. Got in camp, was getting raped by a boy, and kind of fell into it. There's a difference between, like, dying to do it. But, yeah, you'll have a few people who have had gay experiences, but they're. I don't think Jay came out of that going, yeah, I kind of like boys kind of like, I think that's a thing that. Is that nature or is that teaching? Have we taught them this? Has that been a generational thing that's been taught to people? Like, yeah, there's 67 different things you can possibly be. And here, you're either pan this, you're fluid that, you're buy this, you're try that, you're do this. Instead of. Like, when I was a kid, you're either gay or you weren't. That was it. Like, if I were to put Brett's peepee in my hand and say, you want me to tug on this? That's gay. That was gay. It was such an easier time. We didn't. You know, it's like, we were talking about baseball and how screwed up baseball got once you added all the analytics and we've done analytics to just whether or not tugging a dude's wang is gay. It's gay. Now, whether or not gay's bad, that's up to you as a parent. But, like, if I'm tugging on Brett's wiener and I tell you, Brett and I just have fun. We're good friends. And sometimes I, I. I tug him till he pukes down south. And they're like, oh, all right, well, that's gay. No, it's not. Don't put me in a. Like, that's the thing we've taught everybody. You can't. You can't identify me as a. Well, yeah, if you're tugging on a dude's wiener, that's gay. I didn't say it was a bad thing. In fact, if you want to do it right now. We can, but I'm just saying it's gay. So I guess you teach them that when they're confused. I know for a fact when I was a teenage boy that if I had, like, 45 different options, it would. I would lean on a couple of them to explain why none of the chicks liked me. Why am I striking out like crazy? Oh, it's not. It's not because I'm ugly. It's because. Well, you know what? I'm not interested. That's right. I don't. I don't want these girls that don't want me. Either I'm pansexual or I'm fluid.

[Toledo]

You lean on a thing, these spring break movies are gonna really change.

[Dale Hellistra]

Totally different now. But, yeah, if you gave me an out, that. That made it so I could, you know, divert reality from the fact that I was not attractive to people. And I had to figure out a way around that. I would have just said, well, I'm not interested in you either, and I like this. So it doesn't matter if you don't like me, because I'm not interested either. Now, I didn't ever tug on Mark. My buddy Mark. There were some vulnerable moments. I told you about that yesterday. He was crying. I could have.

[John Holmberg]

Around your shirt.

[Dale Hellistra]

Driving around with our shirts off. I could have easily gotten a. From Mark at that point. He was super vulnerable and wanted attention and love. Yeah. I had a friend who told me his son made out with boys. He goes, I just found out my son makes out with boys. I'm like, really? Is he gay? And he goes, no. He just, like. That's what his friends and him do. They don't go any further than that. And I'm like, they're gonna. That was a generational reaction, Brady.

[Toledo]

It's just so weird that. What do you want to do? Make out?

[Dale Hellistra]

Right. I can't imagine it. But, you know, they're affectionate. It's an affectionate group. And again, I've always said this, and everybody gets mad at me. This is the single mom society. It has nothing to do with moms doing a bad job. You're doing your jobs too well. You're making the boys emotional and needy and affectionate. Where a man comes in, I think it stops that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. They're just expressing themselves. Men come in and like a dad goes in and goes, knock it off. Do that quietly, you know, or you have a. A figure in your life that says, no, there's only this or this. Like, there's just cut and dry black and whites. And women like ethereal things and chances and romance and no matter what it looks like. Again, I go back to Hot Frosty. We had weird science, and it was all about sex and then revenge. Hot Frosty was about the possibilities of love through creation in a snowman form. It was insanity, but it was seen as romantic. Look no further than the Notebook for all that stuff. Sleepless in Seattle, where women will actually look at a story where a woman leaves a man to be with somebody because his. The true love awaits you. You just haven't found him yet. That movie's so incredibly unrealistic. And she breaks up with her fiance and he's like, go to him. The guy's not even a little upset. You need to go to him. It's your true love.

[Toledo]

Thanks.

[G]

Bye.

[Dale Hellistra]

Then she jets off to New York and stands on top of a building where finds him Tom Hanks and his son shows. You bring your son to that.

[John Holmberg]

You bring the little CB with you.

[Dale Hellistra]

And women are like, oh, my God, it's perfect. Women are supposed to be emotional and caring and feeling. And now little guys are being raised by just a woman who are like, express yourself. Feel good about you that they're supposed to feel that way. Moms are doing a great job. Dads are the ones who aren't, you know, instilling a little John Wayne in the kid. You're doing what with your friends? We just make out for fun. Well, that ends today. You don't make out with boys for fun. We're drawing lines. Are you gay? No, dad. How dare you? All right, then quit making out with boys, because guess what? That's really gay. Is this. If you're asking the question, is this gay? Yep. Yep. Every time you have to ask it, it is. And if you're not gay and you don't want to be gay, then don't do the gay thing. But if you do.

[Toledo]

Peer pressure, man.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, look, if Brady and I started making out, people like, that's nice. Those guys get along. Well, that's a lovely. Didn't know they were gay. That would be the next thing you said. And we would turn to you and say, we're not gay. You're like, that doesn't make any sense at all. That's like dressing up as a baseball player and going out on a field, and people are like, you want to play? No. Why would you think that? You're dressed up like a ball player. I figured you and you're on a baseball Field. I figured that would be something you'd want to do. Don't put me in a box. You're confusing.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds like Brandon love.

[Dale Hellistra]

Everyone goes, yeah, yeah, Brandon love. You just want to. Hey, you want to have a catch? Like, why would you say that? I don't know. You're wearing a Yankee uniform. You got a glove and a bat and cleats. And cleats. Well, that doesn't mean I love baseball. Geez Louise, this is hard. Like, you've made life harder than it needs to be. If you're a fireman, I'm gonna ask you for fireman stuff. I'm not a real fireman. Oh. I just dress like one. And how dare you pigeonhole me into this? And, like, I don't get it.

[Toledo]

Wear the blue shirt.

[Dale Hellistra]

Huh?

[Toledo]

The fireman shirt. They always have that blue.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, even if you have the sticker on the back of your car, that's that little shield.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

I assume you're a fireman. I hopefully won't offend you by going, hey, fireman. No. Why? Because you got fireman stickers on your car, so. Okay, you're making life harder than it needs to be. If I see Brett and Larry McFeely kissing in the hallway, like, oh, Larry and Brett have found love together. Like, I didn't know they were gay. Like, how dare you? Like, why you're doing gay stuff.

[Toledo]

I've only seen them whistle down the hallway together.

[Dale Hellistra]

Sure. So Philip says. So I was wrong. Eating my corn on the cob the long way is gay. Yeah. That is gay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Dale Hellistra]

There's a reason we don't do it that way. We've all wanted to. By the way, Philip, what are you doing this weekend? Cause if you can do that, I think I might be gay. I'm gonna eat corn on the cob like this. I'm gonna buy you a wedding ring, and we're men.

[Toledo]

Three quarter turns and he's done with that A year.

[Dale Hellistra]

I gotta tell you, if a dude can take a corn on the cob long ways. I don't know if that's gay, but this erection might tell me it's a little gay.

[John Holmberg]

That's gay.

[Dale Hellistra]

It might be gay. Not gay unless I use it. So your son telling you not gay. Just blowing that guy. See if I like it. At school in the middle of the day, I couldn't control myself.

[Toledo]

You're like, I don't know. I'd be happy. Okay, he's honest with me.

[Dale Hellistra]

I don't know that that's honest. I Think that's an end around or.

[Toledo]

Yeah, maybe he's not honest about it. He's not ready for the.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Toledo]

The full Monty yet.

[Dale Hellistra]

He is kind of ready for the full monty. He broke away from class to blow a kid in school.

[Toledo]

No, the kids. I don't want to tell my dad the whole thing.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, right.

[Toledo]

I'm just experimenting.

[Dale Hellistra]

He's. He's tipped. He's. He's feet first. First time into the telling, dad. But I mean it's. Yeah. Sean Rockefeller's blind and he just emails to get news for you, buddy. Your kid's gay. Luckily you've emailed the right show and Brady can tell you how to block this from ever being a reality in your life. Like, he has his own childhood. Also, nothing wrong with having a son who's gay. You're just gonna have to deal with a lot of crusty stained sheets on laundry day. Make him do his laundry. Starting now. Good luck to you. Signed, Sean. That's true. No longer do you do the laundry at the house. The boy does it. Yeah. If I walked in on my dad and he was with his friend Ron or hi Yella.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there you go.

[Dale Hellistra]

And he was buried knee deep in high yellow and he looked at me, he goes, we're just seeing if we like it. It's pretty gay. It's pretty. Pretty big step. Do you. Yeah, it's not bad. I mean it gay isn't Brussels sprouts. I eat brussels sprouts to see if I like it. I kind of know going in. I'm not that interested in the gay. I can't tell on brussels sprouts until I take a bite. I can tell on gay. I can tell the old. Yeah. Until you have. That's a bad. That's. That's not logical. With.

[Toledo]

There's things you can put together and figure out.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I'm not gonna like.

[Dale Hellistra]

I'll tell you. I know for a fact I don't like. You know, I. You can't have sex with somebody you're not attracted to. So if some. If One of those 600 pound sisters came at me, I mean, how do I know I don't like it till I try it. Well, I'm not gonna try that. That's gross. How do I know I don't like Brett's weiner till I try. I'm pretty sure I don't like Brett's weiner. Thank you. I might be impressed by it, but not intrigued. Like if you whip that, I'm like, nice dick, Brett. Congratulations. Now Put it away. That's gay. Why are you showing me that? We keep it in there. We only show it to people we don't want. You know, they want to be friends with somebody and see their genitals. I've known Brady for. For years on end. I've only seen his penis once. And that was when he was changing in the office and he lifted his shirt up and showed me his button. It was weird. Hysterical, but weird. And then I turned away and I laughed and I said, it's like a little Tootsie Roll midi. Surprisingly black. But you know what you didn't do? Wanna give it a taste? No, I don't. Cause we're not. Yeah, it's an odd world we live in. It's a very odd world. Kind of hop. Figure it out on your own because. And again, he's been through a lot. The mom died, the kids probably got.

[Toledo]

So he didn't punishment punish him because. Well, because I was saying, you know, it's wrong what he did. And you don't do that in the school.

[Dale Hellistra]

Public sex is illegal.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. So he's probably punish him for that a little bit.

[Toledo]

And I don't know what. Yeah, but you got to bring that.

[Dale Hellistra]

Up and say that thing you were doing to that boy that we both agree wasn't gay, that could get you thrown in jail. Don't do that anymore. Donovan says, just because I walk into a bank with a gun, demand money from people, doesn't mean I'm a bank robber. That's, you know, what strong point, Donovan. Little more threatening in your scenario, but very true. It's a struggle. Life's just a damn struggle. I can't figure out how come we. We keep making everything so convoluted, which is why Trump's president, in fairness, people are like, we need some jackass that just says, stop it every once in a while. We need a mean dad. We don't have to like it. And he's a little bit like drunk dad, but people start behaving a little different around drunk dad. Some people rebel. Other people just go, that's better. You know, they tried to get mad at him for saying fat shot instead of Ozempic the other day. Isn't that shaming fat people? I was talking about one particular guy, and he is a giant. I'm not gonna use his name, but he knows who he is. And it's. I'll tell you this, the fat shot's not working. He kept going. And then you're like, oh, he doesn't Care. And that's what I think America feels.

[John Holmberg]

It's like Charles Barkley with the.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. The fat ladies in San Antonio. Yep. He's like you. I suspect apology out of me. You ain't gonna get one. There's big fat ladies in San Antonio, and it's like, damn it, he's using reality against us. It's impossible. I'll say all of them, but there's a lot of them. And you know what? He's right. And we all sat back and said, there's no denying what Charles is saying. Is it tactful? No. They ate all them churros. That's why this is the churros. They eat so many churros. That's why they're so fat. Joel. Them big old ladies in San Antonio, it's. It's a perfect way to put it. So, I don't know, call me old fashioned, not progressive, but once a wiener breaches your mouth whole and you're like, this is good for a few minutes, you're gay. Afterwards, you can make that choice to say, I don't think I like that. Not doing it. I think if you watch gay porn and it arouses you, you're gay.

[John Holmberg]

So if you're watching Dr. Jerkoff and Mr. Hard.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. And you're enjoying the hell out of it and you're like, pausing stuff. Yeah. Like Brady watches the Food Network. What's that? Brussels sprouts and caramel. Ooh, you're interested. You know, people know when they're interested in something. When they're not. You're not on the fence on whether or not you want that. I know for a fact now, people always say that about, you know. I think wearing a jersey is gay. You have another man's name on your back. I understand your argument.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

I can think of gayer stuff. Having an actual man on your back, it's. It's interesting. But congratulations to Sean and his son. That's. I wouldn't.

[Toledo]

Glad they had a talk.

[Dale Hellistra]

I wouldn't switch lives with you at all. But. Yeah, I think just basically anytime your son's having public sex, it's time for a sit down. I don't really care who you're having sex with. We'll get to that later. Stop it. This one says, in fairness, John, there are levels of gay. Don't we think it's more gay to be the bottom than the top? Isn't it more gay to be the blower than the blowy? No, no.

[John Holmberg]

I think it's all the same.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, Nope. It's two dudes together and you're. You have erections. That's gay. And that's okay.

[John Holmberg]

It is a crank is a crank.

[Dale Hellistra]

A crank is a crank and a dude is a dude. And that's okay if you want to do that. But I don't buy into the world of like, I was just testing it out. Come on, you're not test driving butthole. What a great. I hope somebody just turned the radio on. That's the first thing you hear on a Thursday morning. Test drive a B hole. What are you crazy?

[John Holmberg]

Some of the punk band test driving B holes.

[Dale Hellistra]

That is pretty solid. Yeah. So thanks, Sean. Thanks for the follow up. We appreciate it. And yesterday I got to do the KTAR war room and it's an interesting thing. I got to meet the. This is the thing I get to do when I, when they ask me to do this. That. It's the news channel and they asked me to go down there and jackass around. Now here's the first thing they give you a, they give you a piece of paper when you first get there that has what you're going to talk about like the four topics. Four or five topics. And I love the producer is she's not used to. I don't think there's a lot of funny going on at kjr. I think there's people who are jokesters, but I don't think there's a lot of like funny stuff that happens. And they take everything very literally. So the producer came up, she handed me the sheet yesterday. And the first thing said topic one will be the book by Jake Tapper, Original Sin, about how the COVID up the Democratic Party covered up Joe Biden's mental status and all that stuff. I'm like, okay. And then the next one said tariff, something about tariffs. And then another one said that Cutter has given Trump a plane. And then finally it was Reuben Gallego and Mark Kelly bidding for the presidency already. And I said, I looked at it and I said, what? Could you use the word tariff in a sentence for me a couple times just so I know what this is? And she goes, well, it's like the tariffs are. And I'm like, all right, we'll get on. I said, who's Ruben Gallego? See short stuff for the Diamondbacks. He's. He's a rep. He's a. She's looking at, looking around like, oh my God. I'm like, I'll figure that as we go. Meanwhile, the mayor of Peoria is just dying laughing because he can see she scratched girl. This girl's on skates. I got her rolling backwards. All right, what's. What's Qatar? What's Qatar? It's Cotter. You spelled it wrong. It's Q. You got a Q. And cut, C, U, T, T, E, R. Cotter. Kind of like. Yeah, we'll figure it out on the air. I don't know what I'm doing. So you hired a fart joke guy to come in on the show. And then I meet the mayor of Peoria. His name's Jason Beck, I think is his name. He's the mayor of Peoria. And this dude is, like, loaded. He's got a lot of money, and so much so that the other girl on the war room just asked him point blank, how much money do you have? Because he. What? He bought John Wayne's True Grit farm in Colorado. I didn't even know that was a thing that was real. I thought that was just a movie. There's an actual real farm. He bought that. And he's got. He bought a city. He didn't say which city, but he owns a city. I didn't know you could even do that, but he owns a city. And then he started showing me these fire trucks he bought. He. He's got a company that makes armor for military and security for everyone. Other countries? No, for, like human beings. Coats. Oh, he's all the armor that says Secret Service and the president and everybody else. He's been providing that for since, like, 2000. And he's doing it. He sells it to, like, Israel and all these countries. So he's loaded. And now he's mayor of Peoria. Shoot. Bigger than that. How's Peoria doing? I think I could be mayor of Peoria. What do we got over here?

[Toledo]

That's what he was saying.

[Dale Hellistra]

Padres and Mariners and what else goes on for a month about it, right? What else is Peoria got to worry about? They got a festival here and there, right? Do they?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellistra]

I don't know. I think it's pretty much an easy street gig right there. But we get in there, and Katie Hobbs, the governor, was the. Now, this happens between 5 and 6. This. This war room thing. And I'm in there with these two other people, and we're discussing those topics, and it always is fun. It's Larry Gaydos and Bruce St. James are a blast. Very nice people. Everybody there is really nice. Met John Roller again, the traffic guy. He's cool. And then. So Katie Hobbs was coming in, and they mentioned that she was coming in at 6, she was going to be in the next hour. And I went to do the impression of her at which they get so scared of. And I'm not so sure Katie Hobbs hasn't heard that, because when I left the studio and walked past Katie Hobbs, everybody was all friendly and introducing each other. And I just kind of stood there for a second and I don't think she wanted to say anything. So I'm not sure if it's gotten back to Katie Hobbs that she's on the show quite a bit and that I did it on KTAR yesterday. And then they went and talked about real serious stuff for their kid voice. But as I'm leaving KTR Studios, I'm walking out the front door. Katie Hobbs for governor has a lot of stuff. There were two, like, gigantic high country gmc, it looks like Escalades. They were like, yeah, but they were like a jump up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

And they're running and they're just parked on the sidewalk and she's inside. Like, they couldn't even put it in a spot right there by the door. Just parked on a sidewalk. And I'm like, is there an imminent threat that I didn't know about? Shouldn't Yes, I be aware of that? Like, if I'm in the same room with somebody who's got like that she had a couple of security guys with her. I get it. But shouldn't I know. Yeah. And then we get some people chasing her around like, it's not good. So shouldn't I have been swept? Like, if there's an imminent threat to security, shouldn't I have been patted down or something? But no, she gets to park wherever she wants. And all these politicians talk about like, I'm just a citizen trying to make. Man, that's pretty good gig right there that they can pretty much just like put it on the sidewalk. Both of the cars that's blocked this whole thing.

[John Holmberg]

She had her own junior Secret service with her.

[Dale Hellistra]

And they were. Yeah, there were two dudes with her. And then in the car, which both of them were still running. And I don't know why you need two cars. And there were different colors.

[Toledo]

Only three people or.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, she had three with her. And then two dudes were inside the other car. So there were five total. Two or three maybe with her up in the studio. We don't need two cars for that. She had two cars and they were both running. And I thought she was a Democrat. Isn't that against the environment? Like, turn the car off. Isn't that. That whole a circle button that we all hate in our cars? And it's supposed to. When you're stopped, it's supposed to.

[Toledo]

McCain went around with one guy? Basically.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. I don't know. Well, McCain was a badass. He's still karate choppy with that one good arm. Yeah. I don't know, but I. Look, it was a lot. It was a lot to go visit Bruce St. James and Gatos.

[John Holmberg]

And by the way, what threat is on Katie?

[Dale Hellistra]

I don't know. Well, I mean, maybe there's probably some nut bags.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, Kerry Lake's been pretty quietly, right?

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, there. She's laying in the low. She's in the high grass. So the threat is we haven't heard from her for a minute. She's plotting.

[Eddie]

Hey, Byron.

[John Holmberg]

I was [e-mail]'s website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.

[F]

Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is, if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[F]

Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP.

[Dale Hellistra]

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[Eddie]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellistra]

I don't know what it was, but it was an awful lot. And I'm not one of those people that says don't, but that seemed like too much. Put the cars in the slot. Make me feel like you're not, you're not pushing it. The parking lot was wide open. There were my car and another car and the whole parking lot. Parking lot. 80 spots. Everybody had already gone home at 6:00 o' clock. Nasty. Get up on the sidewalk, jam up, then leave him running. I'm only going to be 35 minutes in case. Just in case what? He's got to get in an elevator.

[Toledo]

Out of there real quick.

[Dale Hellistra]

You could start a car in that time, radio down. Hey, absolute show up here at the kjr. Get those cars started. Right. She's on the second floor. The cars are doing no good on the sidewalk. And by the time you say, hey, get the cars around, I need to back up and go 15ft. Leave them running on the sidewalk by the door. Come on.

[John Holmberg]

It's our tax dollars.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's our tax dollars being used. Prep. He's right. I just thought it was an excessive.

[Toledo]

Seem a little heavy.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's performative art. It's an awful lot. And I'm not saying it because Democrat, Republican. I was like, ah, that's a little much, don't you think? It's not like you're president or anything. Like some big, you know, it feels like you're. Yeah, it's self important. You know how you draw attention to yourself. You drive around with two cars and you park on a sidewalk. If you're trying not to get. Like if somebody's after you, you show up in a Corolla. It's the last thing they're looking for. You shove her in a Hyundai like Katie. You ride in this. We're gonna drive these cars all over city. And the bad guy's gonna say, they're not gonna know you're in an old, you know, Hyundai. Get an Elantra for the governor and have her drive around in that by herself. No one would ever. They think she's the decoy if she's behind the wheel. Especially was it the.

[Toledo]

The Michael Douglas, when he was president, he snuck out in that Granada.

[Dale Hellistra]

Michael Douglas was never president.

[Toledo]

We're playing president. Oh, I see what you're saying in that movie. Yeah, that decoy car, it's just a Granada. Go drive.

[Dale Hellistra]

You drive around and. But the president's different. Different people got tabs on him all the time. Governor Hobbs, I've been to like, Lucy's Marketplace and looked over and gone, hey, that lady looks a lot like Governor Hobbs. It might have been, I don't know. But if she, if she climbs in an Accord, I'm like, nah, it's not her. You're drawing attention to yourself. Like, if I had four cars sitting outside running right now. Like, I gotta have those four cars out there just in case that guy who wants to kill me. I'm like, why don't you hide back? I wear these giant flags in this clown outfit just so people don't notice me. It's like, well, you're standing out.

[Toledo]

That's part of the reason why some people run for the governor, for the show.

[Dale Hellistra]

I get this little selfishness. Yeah, I want that right. And then have the nerve to start saying that when a country wants to give you a 400 million dollar plane, that it's wrong. Hey, lady, your cars are on the sidewalk and they're running. I don't want to hear about your Escalade sitting there. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Five dudes.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. I'm looking at about a $200,000 day for the governor. For the governor, like. And you're telling me you wouldn't take a 400 million dollar plane every single time? If Pivot Bikes wanted to give me a couple of free bikes. If Josh over there at actions, like, here's some free bikes taking them, and I'm gonna be nice to Josh for a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Josh likes guys in Hamas, so I think he's changing his tune. I got two Pivot bikes. Says so, but, yeah, I just don't get that. And it was an interesting little walk out of the thing, and I had my meta glasses and I sent you guys a video. And I'm like, well, I guess when you're governor, you can park anywhere you want to. And I walk around it, the guys inside the car staring at me, and I'm like, look, don't you guys get uppity. I'm not after you.

[John Holmberg]

Did they have the earpieces in and everything?

[Dale Hellistra]

I couldn't see the tint on the stuff was illegal. There's no way that was legal.

[Eddie]

Tent.

[Dale Hellistra]

If I'd have put that little cop thing up against it. I'm like, you gotta be, kid. You're not hiding from anybody. If you're Being threatened. Don't drive around, you know, in a clown car with six. It's like a parade. I don't want to be noticed. I got people looking for me. Well then turn the sirens off, dummy, because I think I know exactly where you are. And the security guy was like, he was eyeballing me like I was up to no good. I'm like, you think this was my plan all along? To do the war room, wait for her to be a guest, not know and then go haha, ah, finally. And then wrestler to the ground. It's not happening. It's just weird. It's weird being around that stuff because there is this strange self importance and yeah, you want to have security, but there's a strange self importance to the whole thing, especially when you've known the guy she's about to talk to for years. I've known Bruce St. James for a long time. Dope. His dream in radio was to run hip hop stations. Somehow he got sucked into this. Yeah, he re ran a couple of goodwill. He ran him into the ground and got fired like most people who run radio stations and you know, just kind of landed here, landed there, got fired from this, moved from that, and then he's back at KJR again. He's no different than anybody else. He gets to talk to the governor and people take everything seriously. Just because the title of the Bruce is a dope. I love the guy, but he's a dope just like any of us.

[Toledo]

Fair enough.

[G]

That's right. That's right. Bruce Thanksgiving's right around the corner.

[Dale Hellistra]

I don't know, it's just funny because I've known him for so long, you get to ask the governor questions and then people take that real seriously and then they start playing it on news. Later when talking to Bruce St. James, I'm like, I talked to Bruce St. James. Like that makes sense. Sense. Like the governor and Bruce having a back and forth. He's kind of a dope. Like right now if you said, hey, Bruce, do you. We're starting a new station called Source Bounce and we're going to play old school hip hop in I'll do it. And he'd run away from the news and go play old Biggie Smalls and.

[Toledo]

Dre and as Snoop would call him. Yeah, I worked with Bruce Street.

[Dale Hellistra]

James, tell them ST was Street to see Snoop.

[Eddie]

I love Bruce.

[Dale Hellistra]

He's my man. He's my boy. Now that makes sense. So, Snoop Dog, let's start up with your new record. You got it, Bruce Shizzle. Dizzle. This is how it works. Oh, hold up. I gotta go to governor's here. Like, Bruce is talking to the governor. People are listening. That just throws me. And here's a. Here's the comparison for all you who are trying to argue that. Imagine if Brady went to kta, are, as a newsman, had a conversation. I know, I know, I know. Hysterical already. It's no different than Bruce and started to have conversations with the governor. And we all know him, listeners and us in the room, exactly as Brady. And suddenly he's taken himself so seriously that him and the governor's conversation somehow.

[Toledo]

Good evening, Arizona.

[Dale Hellistra]

Exactly. People like, I remember this guy. He's a dope. There's no way this conversation matters. But it does. And that's how snowed we are by microphones and voices.

[Toledo]

And so being governor and doing governor.

[Dale Hellistra]

Stuff, it's business cards that say, handyman. Oh, he's a handyman. And immediately you place, like, skill on that person. It doesn't say really good handyman. Just says handyman. And then you're like, he must be this, this, this, and this. You say, I work at KTAR News and I get to interview the governor. You're like, oh, this guy knows his stuff.

[Toledo]

He's dope.

[Dale Hellistra]

Brady can say that. It's fun. I will say this about her. Katie is oddly. Oh, this is bad. She's oddly sexy. And I don't know if that's a power thing, but the way she just sat down in the lobby with her legs crossed, and I'm like, katie Hobbs has something going on.

[Toledo]

She's got some Riz.

[Dale Hellistra]

A little Riz Brady. She's got something going on. And I didn't. Like. I never. I never. I always thought she looked like Catherine o' Hara from the olden days, like back in Home Alone days. Like, with gray hair. She's got something going on. She's. She's a. There's an aura about her. So when you're in the same room with her, you kind of realize. Well, kind of get why people think she's got some juice. She carries it. She. She wears it. And then you're like, hi, Governor Hobbs. John Holmb. Are you. I'm fine.

[G]

How are you? Everything's good in my world. How's your world?

[Dale Hellistra]

Jesus Christ. How does that voice come out of you? Is your mother home? But I did the impression on the war room yesterday when Katie was on the way. And everyone in the room puts their heads down like they're hiding everybody. Like Bruce and Larry.

[G]

I'm like, I just want to thank you guys for having me on the show.

[Dale Hellistra]

Like, oh, geez. Oh, boy. And they all dip down. I'm like, come on. We have to admit. Radio guys, like, if you were to call her house and hello, is your mom home?

[G]

I'm governor.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay. Is your mother around? Oh, very funny. You're adorable. Somebody's getting a lollipop. Is your mom home?

[G]

I'm serious. You're calling the governor over here if it happens again. I'm gonna do that. I'm a governor.

[Dale Hellistra]

So cute. Your father around? No. Is there an adult in the house?

[G]

Yeah, I am one.

[Dale Hellistra]

You are the sweetest little girl I've ever took to. I'm gonna call back. What time do your parents get home?

[G]

I don't. Wait.

[Dale Hellistra]

I'm just gonna call you back.

[Eddie]

You're adorable.

[Dale Hellistra]

Go do your homework, honey. She's got one of those voices. Doesn't mean she's not qualified to do stuff. She's got one of those voices, same as Bruce St. James. If you called his house, you'd think there was a breakout in the turkey farm. You'd think that the turkeys had killed the farmer. Oh, my God. Bruce St. James. Did you. I'm calling from a roofing company. Inquired online about. Oh, Christ. The man's being eaten by turkeys. Oh, it's a travesty. No, it's not me eating my turkeys like Bruce St. James.

[Toledo]

It happens when you just walk by him. Like a turkey farm.

[Dale Hellistra]

Good to see you.

[G]

Good to see you, buddy.

[Dale Hellistra]

You all right, Bruce? Ali, I just saw that the Redskins schedules a little time off. They're not called the Redskins. Fair enough, Fair enough. Fair enough. So. So take it easy. Britney zamora. It's an 8th grade girl you're talking about. No, no, no. She's. She's totally old enough to.

[Toledo]

Veto that. Can I speak to your mom about this?

[Dale Hellistra]

I saw you vetoed another bill, Katie.

[G]

Yeah, I didn't. I just didn't like that that was appropriating funds.

[Dale Hellistra]

Can I talk to your mother about your latest veto? Because I think you've gone too far. I just didn't like that there were two armored vehicles, or seemingly so three security guys and two drivers for one person, and I wasn't hip to why. I'm in that room too. You got to at least let me know. This is normal. This is normal.

[Toledo]

It makes you uncomfortable.

[Dale Hellistra]

Of course it makes me uncomfortable. There's like, you shouldn't be.

[Toledo]

You're trained.

[Dale Hellistra]

I'm not trained to stop bullets. I'm not there to protect you.

[Toledo]

Yes, you are.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, I'm not. I will fight someone if they want to fight. But if somebody's trying to shoot at the Governor from a distance or we got snipers nearby, it necessitates seven or eight people.

[Toledo]

You know what to do.

[Dale Hellistra]

I don't. Yeah, because I want to know. That's okay. What are we looking at? And why is she outside then? That's dumb. That's what a dumb person would do.

[Toledo]

Might not have been security. Could have just been her older brother.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, it could have been just.

[John Holmberg]

Dude, Bobby and Greg.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Don't look at her, man.

[Dale Hellistra]

What are you looking at? It's my sister, bro. I'm sorry. I didn't know you wanted to. Your sister? I'm sorry. I'll back off. Yeah, it's weird, but it was an odd thing and it was very eye opening to me that there's an awful lot that goes on with just a complete drive down from the cab. She could have done that drive from the Capitol to ktar. Not a soul would have known noticed. Not a soul. I'd have given her a ride. That's easy.

[G]

I got a lot of threats.

[Dale Hellistra]

You're not gonna tell everybody in the room you're about to walk into that there's somebody aiming something at you.

[G]

Yeah, no.

[Dale Hellistra]

That'S kind of insecure. Insensitive to my needs. Don't you think?

[John Holmberg]

When you started texting about that, I was figuring you're gonna get a selfie with her and everything else. I didn't realize you got the glare.

[Dale Hellistra]

You know, she gave me a little bit of a look and I just. I kind of laughed. I'm like, eh. I don't think she wants to know.

[Toledo]

At least she didn't go, ew.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, I thought, well, she might have. I feel I didn't get close enough. I feel as if he's ugly. Keep going. Yeah. Probably true. High school girls look. That's a fact. I always feel that that's the case anyway, so I just avoid meeting new people. There's the governor. She's pretty. She's not going to like me. And I just leave. I just assume that she's not going to like me anyway. What's the point? I'd have that Jason guy on the mayor of Peoria. I don't know exactly. He was more interesting that dudes like he. He became the most interesting man in the world. Everything he said was like, oh, I've got this F18. I fly. I'm like, you Own what? And I took it to the city I bought. You bought it? I didn't know you could do that. Anyway, I bought True Grit Ranch. I'm like, are you lie? Are you. Are you a liar? The day after Hamas attacked Israel, I was there. He flew over to Israel, like, the next day. This dude is Forrest Gump. He's just. It's amazing.

[John Holmberg]

This guy said he went to Seaton and Chandler with the governor, and she does have a twin. I don't know about that.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

That's what Jeff is saying.

[Dale Hellistra]

You got a decoy. You're running two.

[John Holmberg]

Had one two car drive her around.

[Dale Hellistra]

In the big cars and put the real governor in the Elantra.

[G]

I hired my sister to be the girl that drives around and gets the lasers pointed at her so I can go do news.

[Dale Hellistra]

Come on. All that to go talk to Bruce St. James? Bruce texted me yesterday.

[G]

Can you do the war room?

[Dale Hellistra]

We're out. We're a sort of guy. Sure. That was my invitation. The governor brings an entire entourage in like she's, you know, on hbo. I got a call from that dipstick. We should do lunch sometime. Yeah, we should. It'll be fun. I like it. Bruce, don't have the turkey. It hurts me. Can't order turkey with Bruce. I don't know if he knew that I tried that one. So I have the turkey club. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. That could be family. He's dope. He's a lovable, fun, incredibly nice dope. Gato's no different. I like gatos. I think he's been at it longer. I mean, they're good at what they do. I always talk about broomhead. He's dope. Too sharp. He's dope. Everybody that gives us our news on a news.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, about Ladonna.

[Dale Hellistra]

Bucha dopes. I'm not talking about ladonna. Ladonna is why everybody has security. It seems like it's overdone a little bit. This guy says, I used to work for the highway patrol department. They handle security for the governor. I was a part of the team that installed lighting and gun racks and prisoner seats and all the highway patrol cars. The governor's vehicles are no joke. They're much tougher than a regular highway patrol. Tahoe. Tahoe. It's insane how decked out those Tahoes are. It looked decked out. It looked ridiculous. I didn't know the governor got that kind of treatment. I thought they just got, like, a car and a driver, and I get the driver you're probably doing some work in there. But to go talk to Bruce St. James, Max Elantra, maybe an Uber ride, I don't think there's necessitates four or five cars and seven or eight security to go talk to St. James James. And again, if it's because. If you have extra security because something's about to brew, tell everybody else in the room too. That's not fair. Katie does have a twin.

[Toledo]

Becky.

[Dale Hellistra]

Becky Hobbs. That could be your sister in law, Brad. Could be. It's 718. Let's get a Wake Up Song. What do you got over on the big board of musical treats there? All right.

[John Holmberg]

Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And now is the time to get those bikes up and ready for the season. And Action Ride Shop is the place to be if you need a new bike. I mean, you got that old Huffy in the garage and it's time to upgrade. Action Ride Shop is the place to go. Get yourself a brand new pivot. The new models are out. The new Firebirds out, as a matter of fact. Santa Cruz, Rocky Mountain, they got it going on.

[Dale Hellistra]

And Firebird, the purple one we were looking at.

[John Holmberg]

No, I can't remember what that one is.

[Dale Hellistra]

That was cool.

[John Holmberg]

Firebirds, that. That replaced on hill with.

[Dale Hellistra]

With the big.

[John Holmberg]

With the big travel.

[Dale Hellistra]

The other one replaced the 429.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, that color was so cool.

[John Holmberg]

I thought you were gonna buy another bike.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, that was awfully close that day. But not. Yeah, I've got too many.

[John Holmberg]

But if you're not sure, you can go rent one.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Josh will take care of you.

[Dale Hellistra]

I gotta figure out my bike.

[John Holmberg]

Ebikes and everything. You should have Josh come over and set them bike racks up for you.

[Dale Hellistra]

He'll do it. He'll do it. I can't keep inviting men over to the house to do men's stuff.

[John Holmberg]

He'll show up at the Makita and show Megan how it's done.

[Toledo]

He can experiment.

[Dale Hellistra]

I could. I could blow Josh for payment.

[Eddie]

There you go.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's better than giving him money. That's true. And I don't have any sauce, but he does.

[Eddie]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

On the list, tool, velvet revolver, GnR, Aerosmith, stone tower, static ax, creed, and a couple of disturbed tracks since the big show is going on tonight out at the PHX Arena.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right. So I had a feeling she was gonna make all the Governor's car. Wow.

[G]

Hey, guys, what's up?

[Dale Hellistra]

Hi, Katie.

[G]

Becky, hi. No, hi, Brass. How are you?

[Dale Hellistra]

I'm good. How you doing? How are you?

[G]

Stupid cancer friend yesterday.

[Dale Hellistra]

Which one was that?

[G]

You know who. The big dumb, ugly one. He didn't even say hi. I thought we were friends. Cause he was gonna introduce me. To finally hiding in dumb cancer boy. Walked right by.

[John Holmberg]

I like your new rides out there.

[G]

I have two of them. You want a ride in?

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[G]

One's for. One's for business, get the others for pleasure.

[Dale Hellistra]

All right. Yeah.

[G]

And you notice the front one was black and the back one is brown. That's just like me.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, that's right.

[John Holmberg]

She's got it going on, Brady.

[G]

Yesterday I was in there, I met John Holmgren.

[Dale Hellistra]

He did.

[G]

He wanted to shake hands.

[Toledo]

I was like, yuck.

[G]

No, I'd sooner talk to Brady and pop public. In fact, that's why I have so much security in case Brady shows up. Anyway, I have security also, Brett. Cuz you're a threat.

[Dale Hellistra]

I'm a threat?

[G]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why am I a threat?

[G]

Cuz I just would lay down for you. That's how it works.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think my wife will like that.

[G]

Oh, is she still alive?

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[G]

I didn't realize you can have Alzheimer's that long. Besides that. Oh, I was watching. I saw your wife on TV the other day. Yeah, it was pretty cool. It was an old movie, though. She was an old movie. Tales from the Crypt. She was like the star.

[F]

She was the host.

[G]

Yeah. Yeah, she looked a lot younger. But anyway, she's still alive. And I'm surprised by that, but, yeah, you got that. I told my security and watch out. I can feel some bde and they thought that Carrie Lake was. Anyway, I gotta go.

[Dale Hellistra]

Bye, Kitty.

[G]

Tell home good things for nothing. I thought we were bros.

[Dale Hellistra]

Move.

[Toledo]

Tell Becky hi.

[Dale Hellistra]

She told you to get out of the way. Anyway, she didn't like you either, man. No, I screwed up yesterday. I knew it. I knew it when I made eye contact with her. And then I just left. And Gail kind of screwed it up, too. Gail pulled a full Brady. Gail Bass.

[Toledo]

Wait a minute.

[Dale Hellistra]

She did? Yeah. Because I was about to say, hi, I'm John, and Gail comes in and goes, governor Hobbs, what a pleasure to meet you. And I'm like, oh, this got all hoity toity. This totally turned Bridgerton on me in two seconds. And I had to leave. So I was like, nah, I'm out. So I just left.

[John Holmberg]

She CB'd you, huh?

[Dale Hellistra]

It was a little bit of a. And then it became girl power. And then I would look like, you know, toxic masculine man to interrupt Two ladies talking to just say, hi. So I just slunk out.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't Bruce St. James do the same thing? I mean, Bruce, you know, toxic masculinity and stuff like that.

[Dale Hellistra]

Bruce doesn't have toxic masculinity. That's the first time anybody's accused Bruce.

[John Holmberg]

I've never met him, so he's great.

[Dale Hellistra]

I actually think Bruce is awesome, but he's dope. You can't have your friends be important. You can't, because then it makes you kind of feel like you might have missed out. And I guess it's maybe my insecurity to say, how's Bruce talking to the governor? And people like, that's right. Bruce and the governor making a lot of sense. Like, if the governor was on here, be like, homeward, shut up. Let the governor say stuff. I don't know how it works, but I just known Bruce too long to have anything he says to the governor make. To have it matter.

[Toledo]

It's all the way around.

[Dale Hellistra]

He's smart.

[Toledo]

Yes, friends, he's smart.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Toledo]

Or how does he become president?

[Dale Hellistra]

But there are times when you're like, wow, Katie Hobbs. Like, I could see that. Like, I've. Her friends have said, oh, she was ambitious, and she wanted to. That's it. Bruce St. James wanted to meet Biggie Smalls. Bruce St. James wanted to meet Dre.

[John Holmberg]

Me too.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, me too. And I. You know, but he wanted to do it as a job. And the next thing you know, well, Governor, tell me about this. Like, how did that happen? It just, you know, it's just funny. It is. It's this. I think it's the fourth wall coming down of the perception of the things you're being shown. News people are all news people who are knowledgeable, but then you realize they're just people. Like, he's not any different than you out there listening. He just either does a good job talking or not. I don't know what he's doing funny, though. But I do like that everybody that's at the news station that is considered, you know, journals, journalists. I don't think any of them went to journalism school after that interview. I think any of them went, he.

[Toledo]

Went to a movie with Young Embassy.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Young mc. And him went, Marvin, you're gonna see that new Blake Lively thing after this. Yeah. So anyway, what are you gonna do? Let's do it. Disturbed is tonight. It's over at the PHX arena, and you can see Disturbed. Brett's gonna have a listener go with him tonight. Tonight that won the contest to go Hang out with Disturbed and Breath. Interesting. Interview them as we go. As the evening progresses, I think it's pretty awesome. 25th anniversary of the sickness.

[John Holmberg]

I feel old.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's crazy.

[John Holmberg]

I can't believe it.

[Dale Hellistra]

And down with the Sickness, obviously is the big song off. There was a few good ones off the game.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. Voices.

[Dale Hellistra]

Voices, their new tracks.

[John Holmberg]

Really good. So I will not break.

[Dale Hellistra]

And they're gonna play that tonight too. It's not just the down with the Sickness.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So they're doing the entire album and then. And then they're doing like kind of.

[Dale Hellistra]

The greatest hit package to get two hours with them.

[Toledo]

Do you know if Dave's fiance is going to be there?

[Dale Hellistra]

Sure she will be. Gosh, I hope so. I'll bring her up on stage. I just want to bring up my beautiful lady. People of the sun, People of the sun. Follow this God. He's Jane Simmons. We're all exactly the same after a while. Jewish rock stars all sound exactly like this. I'm Dave Draiman from Disturbed.

[John Holmberg]

We should have the squares with the.

[Dale Hellistra]

This is me a him and Netanyahu.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Dale Hellistra]

This is my 11 year old wife to be. I've nicknamed my wiener Sids because it really nails kids. Okay. I just thought I'd say that she's very young is what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks, Gene.

[Dale Hellistra]

I'm not Gene of Dave.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sorry, I thought it was Matt.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, no, no, no. That's. In fact, he's with me. Gene, come in here and explain the difference. Sorry about that, Dave. That's Gene Simmons from Kiss. That's Dave Draiman from Disturbed. But Dave, tell him about it. Yes. A lot of people don't know that, Brett. That the two of us are Jewish and sound. Exactly. Look, it's a president of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu. Come on over here, Benjamin. Explain to Brad. He's like, shalom. Brett. It's Benjamin Netanyahu from. We have the exact same voice. All of us. After you turn 60 as a Jew, this is how you sound.

[John Holmberg]

Wait for modest yahoo to walk in.

[Dale Hellistra]

The door from Israel. Don't you guys just hate Hamas? Well, yes, I do too. We all hate Hamas. All right, let's go. All four of us @ the same time. Anyway, it's Disturbed tonight. Very exciting. 25th anniversary of the sickness. And you get to hear stuff like this one. It's the game. It's 98. It's not weird.

[Eddie]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Dale Hellistra]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[John Holmberg]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns Byron why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[F]

The choice is simple Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[F]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of Twelf or [e-mail].

[Dale Hellistra]

All right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week.

[John Holmberg]

Get up north to Desert Ridge to.

[Dale Hellistra]

See comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feltface performing.

[Eddie]

Just Google it and you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one.

[John Holmberg]

And downtown at Standup Live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and temp Fisher Tools has been the Valley's trusted source for professional grade tools for over 60 years.

[Dale Hellistra]

Family owned for three generations, they offer the largest selection of power tools from Milwaukee, Makita, DeWalt and more.

[John Holmberg]

They also specialize in tool repair including hydraulics like Burndy and commercial electric contractor.

[Dale Hellistra]

Tools as well as having a state.

[John Holmberg]

Of the art on site glove testing facility. Visit Fisher Tools in store or [e-mail] and use promo code KUPD for 10% off your order.

[Dale Hellistra]

Fisher Tools brands you know, service you.

[Eddie]

Trust Hberg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellistra]

The old method of treatment for a.

[Eddie]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellistra]

Ready to go Katie Hobbs Me. Me being in the same room with Katie Hobbs has people fired up. This guy called me a dumbass.

[John Holmberg]

Bam.

[Dale Hellistra]

He said hey dumbass, the dipstick. And he didn't say dipstick who got that plane from that country is also arresting judges and officials. Maybe that's why she has security. I'm like, so I emailed back, I'm like, first off, that's no way to start an email. How rude. Second, you thought Trump was going to arrest her at KTAR yesterday. Really? He said, to be honest, I didn't think this email would make it through. He Was just shouting. Fair enough. Juan Carlos. His name's Juan Carlos Perez. I got to give him a little grace. The dude's worried about deportation.

[John Holmberg]

They seem to start calling you the Nose or something.

[Dale Hellistra]

You can call me the Nose. I am the Nose. Somebody else said, yeah, they were probably worried because they'd heard you were were there. And you can hide bombs and weapons in your nose. And I'm like, juan Carlos Perez, I understand you're a little triggered by the whole look, you're probably a citizen, but with a name like that, it's turning some eyeballs on paper. There's one Carlos Perez. You think these here illegally? I would. I'd place money on that. That's a fanduel bet. I'd put on the plus. So I get your upside that. Stop calling me dumbass. Just say, hey, Mr. Holmberg, or Dear whom, Dear sir, dear Rabbi. Yeah, I'll take that. I'll even tell, hey, Juno's fire one of those over. But dumbass, that's out of the blue. Juan Carlos, we've never talked before, and I do think it's a flawed thought that Katie Hobbs had all that security yesterday to go to KTR because she was worried about Trump arresting her. Of course. Crazy talk. It's time now for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade Concepts. You want some shade in your backyard. It's a beautiful thing to do. It can drop the temperature in your yard in that space that's got too much sun that you'd be using if it wasn't for that direct sunlight. All Pro Shade Concepts can help you out. Drops the temperatures up to 20 degrees in some cases, and that is amazing. Think about it. At night, if you've had your shades out all day and that thing has made it so the ground didn't heat up and it's just better all the time. There's all sorts of benefits to this, let alone when the Sun's setting. It's 7 o' clock now and it's still kind of warm outside and it's hitting you direct. Those things knock that down. If you got a TV on your back patio or you want to block that, it does that, too. Keeps the glare off the screens. Amazing stuff. And it is built to block 95% of the sun's UV rays. These guys are the best in the business. Been doing it over 20 years. AllProche.com that's where you go. Brady Report it.

[Toledo]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Dale Hellistra]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Toledo]

Happy birthday. Megan Holmberg and happy birthday Bunny Bogan.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's the. It's the ladies birthdays today.

[Toledo]

It's also national Chocolate Chip day. Just the chips, I guess.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Not the. Not the cookie. You can put chocolate chips and stuff other than cookies. Brady, they can use this.

[Toledo]

Oh, I know.

[Dale Hellistra]

And my mouth. They go on a lot of things.

[Toledo]

Couple of basis. Fun facts. Most varieties of Oreos are considered vegan, including the classic double stuff, mega stuff, the golden Oreos and the fins because they don't contain milk, eggs or any other animal products.

[Dale Hellistra]

Just some sort of weird plant byproduct goo. It's delicious though. Whatever that frosting is. Never looked into it. Whatever that Oreo frosting is, is enough for me to buy a thing of Oreos and get rid of those weird crusty strange caps they put over the frosting. Those awful. The cookie itself is horrible unless it's in milk. Otherwise I just.

[Toledo]

Milk.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's the only. It's the only thing you ever bought. Threw most of it away. You scrape the middle off.

[Toledo]

A spotted animal can have a striped tail, but a striped animal can never have a spotted tail.

[Dale Hellistra]

You ever imagine if they sold Oreo frosting or the stuff inside of an Oreo in a jar by itself?

[Toledo]

I thought they were talking about that.

[Dale Hellistra]

If they did that. But if they sold just the cookies. Zero buys without the frosting though, the cookies are gross, Groves.

[Toledo]

Maybe the Goldens would have a chance. I don't know. I've never had them.

[Dale Hellistra]

Some guy said, what did Megan ask for for her birthday? A real husband with a human sized nose. F you, Taylor. Where did that come from? Gee, I mean, how did you know, first of all? And why are you bringing it up, you bastards?

[Toledo]

Mattel released a pregnant version version of the Barbie doll. Her name was Midge and she had a detachable baby bump with a baby inside. She was quickly discontinued because people thought she promoted teen pregnancy. I don't remember the pregnant Barbie.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, I don't think I'd buy a pregnant. I don't know why would you want.

[John Holmberg]

That trailer park version?

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Would you now? Better have a due date on it. Like she can't be pregnant forever. Right. That's just weird.

[Toledo]

Yeah. And you can detach the bump and detach.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, no, no, no.

[Toledo]

Well, you can't on this.

[Dale Hellistra]

Squeeze it out.

[Toledo]

Remove. Remove the baby. They didn't have it like that. It was just a cabinet.

[John Holmberg]

When you bought a case of Sprite, you turned in all your points for that one.

[Dale Hellistra]

You get a little tiny Sprite and some graham Crackers. And then your Barbie goes back to go. Good.

[Toledo]

That was in the house.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Then you have emotionally insecure Barbie for like six months. Then probably super liberal. I can't believe this is happening to my rights Barbie. And then she becomes a housewife and everything's normal again.

[Toledo]

It's. May is national Pet Month.

[Dale Hellistra]

Sorry, Brady. Is there a My Barbie. My choice Is that.

[Toledo]

Not that I know.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay. I would take that Barbie to the little Barbie Planned Parenthood and go. We got to get rid of this. That's not funny. Yes, it is funny. Like you made her pregnant. I want it out of her. She's the fat Barbie now.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not paying for it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Version of the plan B. Yeah, that would be neat. And inside the belly it dissolves. And then Barb. Then workout Barbie helps her out and she gets. She loses the.

[Brady Bogan]

And like Brett said, a little case of Sprite and some graham crackers.

[Dale Hellistra]

I like in trouble Barbie. And then she has like a. A little hole by her leg that. You know when the little Barbie pills worked because she wakes up and there's some. Then you got to clean the sheets.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, they're spotting.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Well, she has. It has to come out a little too realistic there. And then a little tiny tombstone because it was. She waited too long. So you got to name it.

[Toledo]

Ken's brother can drive her to the clinic.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right. Ken's brother's more. Yeah. Ken doesn't. He can't know about this. Yeah. This is the. This is Michael. Sarah. He has to drive her over there.

[Toledo]

And a new survey of pet owners. Dog owners. They're asked a question. What would you give up to extend your pet's life? And an example would be tons of my own life. Would you give up your favorite meal?

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

To extend the life of your pet?

[John Holmberg]

Brady?

[Toledo]

Most likely. Gen Zers would. Would do.

[Dale Hellistra]

Would you eliminate pizza from your life? Did you hear that?

[Brady Bogan]

Brett's a little skeptical about your.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I was asking. I was asking.

[Toledo]

I wouldn't own a dog if I. If you asked me to give up.

[Dale Hellistra]

Pizza or a dog. The world either gets rid of pizza or dogs. You son of a. That pause is eat. You get rid of pizza. There's so many other options of food.

[Toledo]

Not pizza man.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, I know. You get rid of. You would not. You would rather lose the companionship of all dogs than not be able to engorge your pig ass on pizza all the time. You can eat other stuff. Look at you debating this in your head.

[Toledo]

It's a tough Debate.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, it is not.

[Toledo]

I'm glad they're not asking me.

[Dale Hellistra]

So you love pizza more than your pets? Wow. That's. Again, this is just. You shouldn't have a love for food that is emotional and draining.

[Toledo]

That's bad about every family member, huh?

[Dale Hellistra]

No, we already know that. We already know that people are out. Yeah, you're not. If you took pizza away from. You'd move.

[Toledo]

I could give up pizza. All right, challenge.

[Dale Hellistra]

Do you love pizza more than you do your pets? You don't love your pets because you say you don't even. Like, you don't love them that way. Like, you don't have a love.

[Toledo]

No, no, no, no. I. I did.

[Brady Bogan]

You love Petey.

[Toledo]

I love the pets.

[Dale Hellistra]

But you don't say it. Like, you don't hug them.

[Eddie]

Go.

[Dale Hellistra]

Love you, buddy. You don't do that every once in a while. Okay, that's new. That's different. Because you made fun of me once for saying I love you to my dogs.

[Toledo]

Well, no making out.

[Dale Hellistra]

I. I will let them lick me. That's not making out. It's what dogs do.

[Brady Bogan]

It's their greeting.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right? I don't sexualize my dog like you do.

[Brady Bogan]

He's moving on. Look at him.

[Dale Hellistra]

He wants out of it because he just thought of a world without pizza.

[Brady Bogan]

How long you think you could go without pizza?

[Dale Hellistra]

Trying to cry.

[Brady Bogan]

Like, if we put what through the summer? Until October 1st.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, man.

[Toledo]

It's a tough one. That's a tough one, is it?

[Dale Hellistra]

You couldn't eliminate pizza from your life until Christmas completely.

[Brady Bogan]

You give up pizza, Brett gives up Mom's gravy.

[Dale Hellistra]

Whoa. Oh, wait. I'm not involved in this. I'll tell you this. Come up and the gravy goes on. Too many things. Pizza's just one thing.

[Brady Bogan]

That's true.

[Dale Hellistra]

Pizzas are variations of. Because I know you. You'd start finding side.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he'd find a calzone.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, he'd. Yeah, he'd come up.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You'D use that.

[Dale Hellistra]

You'd still get your fix.

[John Holmberg]

Still get your fix.

[Brady Bogan]

You know, you couldn't have cauliflower crust or something?

[Dale Hellistra]

Red cheese, pepperoni, and mushroom. Cauliflower crust is good. Yeah, it is good. I know it's not authentic. Calm down.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not even going after that. I just don't.

[Dale Hellistra]

I'm just. I don't, like, know. Not bad.

[John Holmberg]

Unless I've not had a good cauliflower crust, because it's pretty good once I've had them.

[Toledo]

But Auto's has a good one.

[Dale Hellistra]

Do they I don't. Yeah, I'm not.

[Toledo]

But there are some that aren't.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, I've had a couple that are like, that's pretty remarkably good. And I had a bad attitude about it too, but it was pretty good. You could. So you couldn't. You don't think you could give up pizza till Christmas?

[Brady Bogan]

Until Christmas now?

[Toledo]

Yeah, I, I, I, I could, but I don't want to.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, then you can't.

[John Holmberg]

Jonathan says Brady, Kirby or P. Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

You get rid of Kirby in a heartbeat. I agree. I tell you what it was to think otherwise.

[Brady Bogan]

Give him till Christmas. That Christmas would be the best Christmas you had in years.

[Dale Hellistra]

He'd kill himself.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but we'd have to deal with him all the way up until Christmas.

[Toledo]

No, it's not worth it.

[John Holmberg]

Not worth it.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no. We'd eat pizza in front of you.

[Dale Hellistra]

It would be menopausal, period. Boy, I don't even know what we like. By August. It would be the most crotchety person.

[Toledo]

Oh man.

[Dale Hellistra]

Move on. Nobody said you wanted to. We're just saying, right. Could you do it if like, the chips were down? You're like, no more pizza. If the doctor said absolutely no more pizza ever again. No more food.

[Toledo]

It's gonna kill you.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[Dale Hellistra]

You would do that. I don't think you would. I think you, I think you'd dabble in pizza here and there.

[Toledo]

Boomers would be most likely to have all their favorite TV shows and movies spoiled for them and they trade for three more years of their dog.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. That doesn't bother bother me. Yeah. Spoilers never bothered me. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Because I can still watch it and get the gist of it.

[Dale Hellistra]

If it's good, the spoiler won't matter.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

One in seven would dump their partner to save their dog.

[Dale Hellistra]

Depends on.

[Toledo]

And that was mostly true in the I've got a few millennials.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I've got a few that for sure.

[Dale Hellistra]

Pretty special dogs in my life. I wouldn't want to let them out the door.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, you just went cower for the little bit.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's pretty special animals out there. Tell you right now, my white feet better be, you know, jumping up and down, licking me in the face when I come home like the dog does. Cuz I got to tell you, as emotional Bill Cower. I get a little emotional about that.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody's going to get hard and it's not Brady.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, what is that?

[John Holmberg]

Oreo cream by the case.

[Dale Hellistra]

You can buy just the cream by the case. Hell move everybody. He's going off 80 bucks. Wow. Well, it's a box. It's not just one bag.

[John Holmberg]

It's six per case. Yeah, six pounds of it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Pounds? You get 12 pounds of Oreo filling for $80.

[John Holmberg]

Maxwell sent that over.

[Dale Hellistra]

Thanks.

[Brady Bogan]

Does he sell it? Wow.

[Toledo]

A woman named Tanya is going viral after she shared an interaction with an Airbnb host who messaged her to say there was a temporary issue with hot water at the property she rented. It was less than a week before her stay, and she asked if she'd be refunded if it wasn't fixed before she arrived. They said they're unable to offer a refund in this situation because hot water was not included as an amenity in the booking. They did apologize for the inconvenience and appreciated her understanding. She responded. So you're choosing to rip me off because you didn't list an assumed amenity, just like you didn't list windows and doors if they were missing, I guess that's fine, too. The host in Period.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. What?

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, it's maybe water at all.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, that's better.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I said the same thing in my. I don't think I got a video for that.

[Dale Hellistra]

Water Period's not a bad band name.

[Toledo]

So the host didn't budge, but Airbnb stepped in with a full refund.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

They're also helping her with another booking, and they're going to review the other host. It's unclear if they'll.

[Dale Hellistra]

Her argument sort of sucks, though, about the doors and windows, because you can't get in. And it's illegal to not have. It's not illegal to not have hot water.

[Toledo]

Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

I mean, you got to have an ingress egress situation in a. In a dwelling. It doesn't list it, but. Well, Right. But if. I mean doors and windows, she's. That's a terrible counter argument. It is. Assumed. You're gonna. Water.

[Toledo]

Yeah. They're saying hot water is an amenity option that hosts can check when listing a property.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Toledo]

And technically, they may only be responsible for delivering on the stuff they promise. Promise.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Toledo]

But it's like, one of those things. I think it's gonna have hot water.

[Dale Hellistra]

You'd think you could complain about that and get away with that. Like, the guy's not gonna fight back. That's. I gotta hand it to him for digging his heels in on that. That's Landlord Brady now. I never listed it, so you're out.

[Toledo]

That's $5 for the hot one.

[Dale Hellistra]

Are you really digging your heels in on this? Damn right you're not. Just Gonna give me a couple bucks back? Nope. I never said you'd have hot water. God, that's really a dick move. But I guess if you want to live like that. And then, you know, the first review, by the way, no hot water and the guy won't give you money back. Like he stands on this.

[Brady Bogan]

Charge extra for the toilet.

[Dale Hellistra]

He's big on it. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

So washing toilets. Don't recall putting that word in.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a five gallon bucket.

[Dale Hellistra]

There's a toilet that's up for you to dispose the waste.

[John Holmberg]

It's like that Richard Pryor movie move. Moving. Ah, the pool. We're taking it with us.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, that's a. I haven't seen that forever. Yeah, that's a poll right there. Richard Pryor's moving.

[Toledo]

We got a Texas man that's facing a felony charge. Arturo Villarreal. He's 56 years old. He was in his car with his two granddaughters in the parking lot of the Dollar Tree. I don't know what it is about dollar trees and fights.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what it is.

[Toledo]

But it's happening on May 9th.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right.

[Toledo]

Another driver got into confrontation with Arturo and it got heated. Arturo got in the car and was leaving, and that's when the other driver followed him and then lobbed a burrito at Arturo's car.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's racist. And oh so many ways.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't Arturo do weather for ktar?

[Dale Hellistra]

Actually, your name is Just rolled up cars.

[Toledo]

Arturo circled around. I'm glad rammed the guy's car.

[Brady Bogan]

Nice.

[Dale Hellistra]

I'm glad you live in a white neighborhood because you sing Arturo Villa Real all the time. You get your ass kicked. Hey, look, it's Arturo. You say it like you're being shaken out and shaken down. Arturo Villarreal.

[Brady Bogan]

Like Brady. Like Larry. Pronounces Portillo.

[Dale Hellistra]

Portillo. This is my neighbor, Arturo Villarreal Real. There's not. How you say any.

[Toledo]

He's a Spaniard.

[Dale Hellistra]

Pinch Brady does not know how to span Arturo.

[Toledo]

What do you think he looks like?

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[Dale Hellistra]

Five' seven, about 265. Got a handlebar mustache, two tears tattooed to his left eye.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm going thin landscaper.

[Dale Hellistra]

No way. He's a fat one.

[John Holmberg]

I'm going Edgar haircut.

[Dale Hellistra]

Really? Yeah. How old was he?

[Toledo]

56.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, no. Arturo Villar Real has put some size on. Yeah, he's a. He's a great grandfather.

[Brady Bogan]

I missed the 56.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, yeah. Arturo. You're all wrong. He's a white guy, gray hair. He looks like Arturo Villarreal.

[Toledo]

Like I am Saying no way.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, no. Assaulting with a burrito.

[John Holmberg]

And his name's.

[Eddie]

Hold on.

[Toledo]

No, no, he didn't assault.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, he got. But, Brady, you're saying that just because he has gray hair and looks white, you're racist. You don't have to. Right.

[Toledo]

I'm saying it correct.

[Dale Hellistra]

I wide it up because he's one of us.

[Brady Bogan]

Are we sure Arturo was the victim and not the perpetrator?

[Toledo]

He was the victim.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right. So if. If. If you don't look Mexican enough, it's okay to not do the L thing. You're Villarreal. I don't know who you're trying to find.

[Toledo]

He's an American cracker.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, you want me to vi. I'm not doing it. You look like my dad. That dude's only 50. 56.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

He doesn't have much longer to go. He looks horrible.

[Toledo]

In Newport Beach, California, we got a Door Dash driver that is in trouble because he was doing phantom deliveries. Enough. So. So many deliveries. He built 2.5 million from DoorDash.

[Dale Hellistra]

He was doing the deliveries. What?

[Toledo]

He would create phantom deliveries that they're. He and he had three other guys.

[Dale Hellistra]

He's ordering stuff.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah?

[Dale Hellistra]

Who's paying for.

[Toledo]

He was able to hack. Hack. Break into their hardware.

[Dale Hellistra]

Wow.

[Toledo]

Computer.

[Dale Hellistra]

I see. So nobody was saying they're building it.

[Toledo]

And they got 2.5 million from door dash.

[Dale Hellistra]

Wait. Oh, so he was pretending to be a driver?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, my God.

[Toledo]

30 old. Say chatty. Ready, Daguri.

[Dale Hellistra]

Sure, sure. If he looks white, I want to hear how you'd say that. Dave Johnson.

[G]

Yeah, Chichu.

[Toledo]

He and his other buddies that were in on it, Mansory Mandupu and Matthias D. And Hari Zamzi.

[Dale Hellistra]

I. Johnny, no, you don't have to be a dick about it.

[Toledo]

Oh, I did it for you.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, no, you overdid it. No, no. Villarreal is said one way. No, Villarreal is not crazy. Villarreal is normal. Villarreal is not how you'd say it.

[Toledo]

I did not say go to the table. I said Villarreal.

[Dale Hellistra]

You said Villarreal.

[Toledo]

No, I did not.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, so you did throw the accident, but you can't you skip the two L's?

[Toledo]

Villa real.

[Dale Hellistra]

Al. All right, that sounds kind of crazy.

[Toledo]

Villa Real.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay, fine. You still screwed it up.

[Toledo]

Fine.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, he's such a. It's hilarious. Even when he's wrong, he fights. Yeah, I said that wrong. It's over. I said part of it wrong.

[Toledo]

Yeah, Villarreal is not wrong.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yes, it is.

[Toledo]

No, it's not vill.

[Brady Bogan]

Somebody will a.

[Dale Hellistra]

Real call us please? Yeah, Villareal is.

[Toledo]

I say it just like Harry Carey would say it, right?

[Dale Hellistra]

And he was known as kind of an idiot. Soon to get to the Indians. You don't have to over celebrate being an ass about it just because you were wrong. I can't sit here and let you be wrong. And then people email me and goes, look, if you're not stopping Brady, you all sound like idiots now. I'm like, I know. But he gets mad when you tell him.

[Toledo]

Thank God you're here.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's true. Oh. Oh, for your life. You're right. You have never been more right. Thank God I'm here. You have never been more right.

[Toledo]

Had to go there. Take a simple thanks. Unbelievable.

[Dale Hellistra]

What a passive aggressive douchebag. Like, hey, now you're just attacking. Settle down, God damn it.

[Brady Bogan]

I love Chippy Brady.

[Dale Hellistra]

He's fun. It's the most fun.

[Toledo]

It's about time.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, he's been around for a while. He was here earlier this week just because you said Villarreal and you did. Okay, Villa Real. I know. That's all.

[Toledo]

Just saying thank you for correcting me.

[Dale Hellistra]

I did correct you. You're goddamn right. And again and again. Well, thanks for following up and learning eventually and stop screwing up. And again and again and again. If you just do it right, you wouldn't hear about it. Oh God.

[Toledo]

I'm trying.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, no, you're not. You keep doing it. You know, via Real. God damn it.

[Toledo]

Villanuevo.

[Dale Hellistra]

Huh? It's not always the same, Brady. The word eight and eight are the same.

[Toledo]

They're spelled the very king.

[Dale Hellistra]

Harry. Oh, oh, so you were thinking of Harry K. He couldn't say his name.

[Toledo]

Yeah. Holy cow.

[Dale Hellistra]

Hector, Villain of move boy. I'm just going to call this guy Hector V. Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? CMC is hiring immediately at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. Open positions include electrical engineers, automation specialists, industrial electricians and industrial mechanics. Join the next generation of steel makers.

[Brady Bogan]

And help keep our electrical operators and.

[Dale Hellistra]

Machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa to get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity employer. It's Shawn Holberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about turf monsters. The people who are resurrecting my backyard turf is the way to go. No more dirt and mud tracked all over my house by my dogs. The turf is pet Safe, easy to clean, and it's amazing. And they don't stop there. I got a basketball court going in my backyard and a putting green. They found an amazing place for this design. Turf Monsters AZ is where you need to go to renovate your backyard space. Use Holmberg and get 10% off the whole deal. How about that? Turf Monsters AZ.

[Brady Bogan]

It's May, and Tombstone Tactical is turning up the heat with unbeatable deals on Sig and Springfield Firearms all month long. Grab a 9mm Springfield starting at just $279.99, or take home a Sig pistol starting at only $369.99. Whether you're upgrading your carry gun or adding to the collection, now's the time to buy. But these prices won't last forever. So swing by Tombstone Tactical and save big before May end ends. For full info and store location, hit up tombstone tactical dot com.

[Eddie]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Toledo]

There's a dude, L.A. he got busted on Mother's Day for whacking off in a shed at Lowe's. The ones out front.

[Dale Hellistra]

That'll happen.

[Toledo]

People saw the door cracked open and called the police. Said, there's a naked man in there. Police had to go through five sheds before they found the guy. He was laying dead down, pants to his ankles.

[Dale Hellistra]

Wow.

[Toledo]

And next to a jar. There was a jar of Vaseline next to him.

[Brady Bogan]

When did he part own?

[Dale Hellistra]

That's not good.

[Toledo]

He admitted he'd been pleasuring himself and watching YouTube on his phone.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, you got me.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, you got to nail that one.

[Toledo]

We got a couple that bought a Trump watch, spent $640. It's big news because they got it. And the face of it says rump.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, the T is missing.

[Toledo]

But the company that sells it, please.

[Brady Bogan]

Tell me they're from.

[Toledo]

They just got the license and image of. Yeah, Trump's name.

[Dale Hellistra]

Trump's not doing.

[Toledo]

But they're using his voice on the commercial.

[Dale Hellistra]

Or if it's the same one.

[Toledo]

Trump watches dot com.

[Dale Hellistra]

This could be a knockoff, like an olex. Yeah, it might.

[John Holmberg]

Evidently, Trump authentic jerseys we used to get from China.

[Dale Hellistra]

Exactly.

[Toledo]

The company reached out to the people, people apologized, not only replaced the watch, but gave them an additional $800 to buy more products.

[Dale Hellistra]

The tea fell off.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Dale Hellistra]

Gabriel Roa Villarreal. Are you sure? Says. Just to clarify, John, you are saying that, right? It's my last name. Brady says it the way we call the white way. I'm the right way. That's the white Way. That's all a Lot of Mexican listeners out there, Brady. There's no reason to offend them all.

[Toledo]

The Pope got his own baseball card. TOPS. Came out with Leo the 14th card and it's already gone up in price and it's outsold. LeBron James.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, maybe your card guys have that.

[Toledo]

Over 130,000 copies making it the best selling non sports tops card or tops now card.

[Dale Hellistra]

How do people find you out of.

[Toledo]

The realm of sports? It's dethroned. LeBron James.

[Dale Hellistra]

Good. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

This is the first day we're hearing about. Already sold out.

[Dale Hellistra]

Only 130,000 LeBron James cards exist.

[Toledo]

No, in the first day this card was out.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, sure.

[Toledo]

It sold more.

[Dale Hellistra]

It seems like a novelty thing. Like they're not going to print a bunch of them. That's probably it.

[Toledo]

Is his rookie card.

[Dale Hellistra]

Check his stats later. See if that thing gains value or not.

[Toledo]

Got some radio videos.

[Brady Bogan]

Give me a second. Sorry, I'm behind.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right. The weather guy on channel or on kts. Yes. That dude goes banana does. It's gonna be 81 degrees today. A slight chance of storms coming your way. Low is gonna be 61. I'm Jorge Torres. Jesus. Did you just like Olay bull during that?

[John Holmberg]

David Banner to the Hulk. Like in one sentence he turns into.

[Dale Hellistra]

A different human being. He does like Jesus Christ. There's a cultural war just occurred. In two words. Easy, guys.

[John Holmberg]

He has enough time pronouncing Mexican food items, let alone ne names.

[Dale Hellistra]

He's excited.

[Brady Bogan]

Food items in there.

[Dale Hellistra]

He'll knock those down hard Enough time. That's right. We were doing this one too. Did I just do this? That looks like same dude I was doing earlier on the video.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, easy.

[Dale Hellistra]

Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, that's gay.

[Brady Bogan]

One of Brett's videos.

[Dale Hellistra]

We got a baseball thing here. What is this incredible ending to this.

[Toledo]

Juco baseball game between Seminole State and McLennan? Seminoles up 11 10.

[Brady Bogan]

McLennan's at the plate. They've got bases low loaded and one out.

[Toledo]

This breakdown's brought to you by SeatGeek. Lefty up, first pitch. He's gonna put it in play to the first baseman who comes straight home to get that out. Then they go back to first base.

[Brady Bogan]

Inning ending game ending double play. Spikes the ball, starts celebrating.

[Toledo]

The dugout empties.

[Dale Hellistra]

Only two out.

[Toledo]

What? We're not. We don't get to be the one celebrating. He set out, though. They're all pointing to the first base up. He said I out.

[Dale Hellistra]

He said out. Wait, hold on. And the other team starts a couple years Old. I thought that. Yeah, I've seen this one before. It's amazing because there's only two outs. Yeah. They celebrated the championship and they were an out away. And the guys rounded third and second, came home. Like, I think there's only two outs. And the other guy stepped on home plate. And then the other team started to celebrate too. Crazy.

[John Holmberg]

I get drafted.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's why they're in junior college. That's why they didn't go to a good school.

[John Holmberg]

So you get a juco.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right. What? You get a juco.

[Toledo]

The first radio video I give you Hamburger Helper Face.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay. Oh, it's not.

[John Holmberg]

This isn't gonna be good.

[Dale Hellistra]

What is that?

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe that's. Maybe that's why the other one came up.

[Dale Hellistra]

What's Hamburger Helper Face?

[Toledo]

It's just a still shot I've seen. If mine would pull up and I'd send them again. But we're not gonna be able to see it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay. Oh, wait. Maybe Toledo may have fixed it. This is just a truck backing over Indians.

[John Holmberg]

I just did a day that ends in Y over there.

[Dale Hellistra]

That is not Hamburger Helper Face. That is a box truck. I believe it. Maybe an ambulance.

[Brady Bogan]

Hamburger Helper Face has been taken down.

[Dale Hellistra]

Just an ambulance running over a crowd.

[John Holmberg]

That's like me playing GTA after a few cocktails.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's when I get bored with the mission. Well, I'm just gonna run everybody over. It is. It's Jesus. This truck is running over everybody back and forth. Go home. Why do people still attack the truck? Run from it.

[Toledo]

Everyone got up too.

[Dale Hellistra]

That. The back was just a flat. I don't know if everyone got up.

[Toledo]

Well, the one that. The one lady. That right here. Or dude with the long hair.

[Dale Hellistra]

Watch the guy under the top. Yeah.

[Toledo]

They gets out of the way.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's pretty awful. I don't know how that happened.

[Brady Bogan]

Bull's not now either.

[Toledo]

What all of your Raging Bull.

[Dale Hellistra]

There's a guy jumping off.

[Toledo]

This is a trusty bungee jump.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, the bungee. The whole platform of the bungee jump falls off the cliff. It's called. The whole thing broke and everybody plunged to their death into a poop river. In the karate country. This is why you don't do that stuff.

[Toledo]

They got a refund.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No hot water and now of this.

[Brady Bogan]

Were any of them clipped in one guy?

[Toledo]

No. The one guy. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, they are.

[Dale Hellistra]

They are.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[Dale Hellistra]

I see not all of them, but.

[Toledo]

That clip platform is gone.

[Dale Hellistra]

Wow. It looks rickety to begin with.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Look at it. Shaking.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. The whole thing you're climbing on is just Toledo your vacation. Ish. Don't do zip lines or bungee jumping. We. There you go.

[Brady Bogan]

We did do a zip line.

[John Holmberg]

Say this.

[Toledo]

I got a raging bull.

[Dale Hellistra]

What is that word up?

[G]

T.

[Brady Bogan]

Not close. For the record, I wouldn't pronounce it right either.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's tauros coralas. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Dale Hellistra]

Thank you. I've lived here for a while. It's a bull with his horn up a guy's ass. What that means is a bull with a horn. Horn in your ass. Toros coralejas. Yeah. And the dude's trying to climb under a fence, and the bull's like, I'll help. So he gives him a little push with his horn right in the B hole. Yikes. Yikes.

[Toledo]

That's it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Can we get spicy Brady in the squares? He's wrong, but he don't care. I'm spicy. All right. What do you got, Bert?

[John Holmberg]

All right, this one comes to us. Us from Los Hermanos. Cerveza.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, the brother's beer. Yeah, the beer brothers.

[John Holmberg]

He throws one in every once in a while.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay, let's look at that fat ass right here. Thick ass. He's dancing for a guy in just a pair of jeans and no shirt. He moonwalks. Oh, he moonwalks right into the traffic. He moon walks right into traffic. I didn't even know they were on a road for no reason in this country. They just.

[John Holmberg]

I like how the Michael Jackson comes in.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Just dancing in the street, and he moonwalks into the street and a car hits him. Why are they dancing at all?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Dale Hellistra]

Were they filming a video or something?

[Toledo]

Couple of surveys.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. One of those countries where you just don't have time to work.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do another bull.

[Dale Hellistra]

All right. This is. Oh, this is a terrible nation. You're allowed to just bullfight in jeans. Guys running across. Oh, he's running right to the bull, and he tries to jump over it, and he does not wait. Oh, it catches him in the neck, and it picks him up by his. Oh, and the bull has, like, six or seven spears in it. And I thought he thought he was. This bull's fighting for his life and winning. Wow. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what we like when the bull wins, though.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, I want the bull to win. Dude in jeans charging a bull that's been stabbed eight times. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Family videos from Toledo's vacations.

[Dale Hellistra]

Definitely a Toledo vacation spot. This dude's holding a giant. Looks like a huge nose, like a serrated sword. Oh. And he hits himself in the head three times with this gigantic saw blade. And it's just buried in his head. Now three hits to the head. He's bleeding like crazy, and he's alive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

And Toledo gets to see that as part of the family package in tat swan.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow. That might have. That might have been.

[Dale Hellistra]

And this guy's just. This guy's just being beaten, getting abused for stealing. Oh, he stole something in the country that Toledo visits. And they just spank him with giant paddles. Wow. For a long time.

[Eddie]

Wow.

[Dale Hellistra]

Are they going to post pants down show?

[Toledo]

Oh, he's joining fraternity back in the day.

[Dale Hellistra]

Jeez. They're back at it. And they won't let him roll over. Wow.

[Toledo]

Now the back.

[Dale Hellistra]

Where is this? Don't steal them.

[Brady Bogan]

Why are they patting his butt?

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, now they're beating him again. Taking a car or something. Wow. I like that. He's on an old lawn chair. Whatever he took.

[Toledo]

That's pronouncing a name.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

There's an oldie but a goody.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay. Got a hand in a blender, and the blender's on just to.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that's what happens, son.

[Dale Hellistra]

All four fingers with the blender at full puree. Why did you do that? Sound good, man?

[John Holmberg]

Those Vitamixes are great.

[Dale Hellistra]

I will end this right there. My God. Oh, good God. So that guy that emails you, John Juan Carlos Perez. He's a dick. He has additional names that fit, too, in between Juan Carlos and Perez. I think he paid for his name on his INS paperwork. He should be worried about deportation. He's an unintelligent dick. This guy knows one of our listeners and does not like him. Anyway. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD. It's not weird.

[Eddie]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Toledo]

No membership fees.

[Dale Hellistra]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a.

[Eddie]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellistra]

Mopping up the email. Emails. This guy says, heard you met Katie Hobbs yesterday. I'm not gonna lie. It's the only thing I don't like about Arizona is Governor Hobbs. She's awful, and she didn't win legit.

[Toledo]

Oh.

[Dale Hellistra]

Still, I truly believe the macho man, Carrie Lake, was robbed. I'm like, oh, my God. Real to me. Damn it. Where's she been hiding? Oh, God, I don't know. Where is she? You're such a douche. And you know I'm triggered. I'm Pavlov's dogs. I don't even want to touch the next button, but I'm gonna. Oh, yeah, Homer Got to meet my nemesis yesterday. Katie. Oh, I saw her out there. And her security team thinks they can and stop the lake. But this lake's swelling and making waves and about to drown the hops in a lake of fire.

[Toledo]

It's a cool ghillie suit you want?

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, I got the ghillie suit. Cause I'm living in the bushes watching the hubs make mincemeat of our once great state. I remember when I used to stand next to hook and listen to his liberal cuck ass give the news. And I said, I'm gonna fix it. All right, now.

[Toledo]

What are you benching now?

[Dale Hellistra]

I'm throwing up about 375 or what I consider a hubs and a half.

[John Holmberg]

Would you have needed that kind of security?

[Dale Hellistra]

I would have never needed any security. I just saved the taxpayer's money by being my own horrifying security system of doom. Try and shoot me. It'll bounce off me and stick to you. Rubber glue.

[Toledo]

Thanks for coming up from the border.

[Dale Hellistra]

Boys came up, fix the border. They give credit to Trump, but it was me. I took one tour and I said, no mas. And they said, okie doke. I was down there with Brady and I said, look, Villa, senor, get back to your cases. No bueno. And they got the message from Lake and Bogan. That'll do it. Keep your eyes open, Hubs. The lake strikes when you least expect.

[Toledo]

You forgot your MREs.

[Dale Hellistra]

Can't forget those. I'll be in the desert for eight days. I gotta have sustenance. Thanks for that, dickhead. Can't avoid it.

[John Holmberg]

It's not my fault.

[Dale Hellistra]

She wanted to show up, but James Bennett does not like Katie Hobbs and thinks Kari Lake was robbed. I don't know. And this guy says, kind of listen to this morning's show. Don't you think it's kind of gay to have a gay son, get caught giving a blow at school and then go to a radio show to ask what they would do about it? And I told this guy, so, Justin, you'd be shook. Shocked. Some of the emails I don't read because they get so personal that people turn to us with these, like, seemingly real life issues. The what would Brady do's just generally telling us? I mean, come on. Like, there's als. Matt just flat out opened up the first day we met him. If I had. My wife was banging the guy at the edge and I got als. Dude, we got his Life story. And. And I think I've only. The only reason I think that it happens is because it's a way of confronting your problems without actually having anybody, you know, hear it. You know what I mean? Like, you. You can get all this, like, everybody wears something. We're all in a uniform. And sometimes you wear a patch on that uniform you don't want people to see. So you just go to a place where you're unrecognized and you can kind of talk about the problem. Problem without it being personalized.

[Toledo]

Love lines.

[Dale Hellistra]

Loveline was a huge one. Yeah. Loveline was like. And nobody's going to know that I've got herpes. And I banged this and I had. You don't talk to anybody consequential in your life. So they turn to us and say, hit that little steam, that little release valve. Get it all out of your system like I talked about it, because it's. It's going to explode. Otherwise. You got to get that stuff out. You got something brewing. And you turn to somewhat strangers that you're comfortable with. That's what we are. We're really strangers. But you're. We're in your car every day. We're in. We're in your earbuds. We're hanging out with you.

[John Holmberg]

And we put it out over a hundred thousand watts.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right. You know what I think I just nicknamed us? We're your earbuds. What's up, guys? We're your earbuds. But we're with you a lot. You know, I've always had like. I had a couple of times where I'm in like, my mailman did it once, Derek. And then I was at a QT or something, and the guy goes, say. And he's like, confused, and he goes, you're in my ears right now. And I'm like, yeah, you listen to show right now, and you're right there. And I'm like, yeah. And. And. And at that moment, I think he realized, oh, he doesn't just turn on when I turn him. Like the solopsis thing, he's only part of my consciousness. So then it becomes the strangers that are actually comfortable. So I. Man, some of the stuff that we hear and the dude tells. Telling us that's a very serious family issue. My son got caught at school blowing a kid in the bathroom. What do you. What would you guys do about it? I'm like, why do. That's just a way he doesn't really care what we say. I don't think I Think he's just like, just pushing it across the. I gotta get. I gotta talk. I gotta say something. I can't leave this in my body anymore. I'm gonna erupt.

[Toledo]

But the follow up seemed pretty good. Like they're saying, you know what I, you know, numerous times I did read what you guys said and it worked out.

[Dale Hellistra]

Trust me, the ones I read, I choose. There's a lot of them.

[Toledo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

You know, their lives got worse. And not because of what we said. It just. No, they're not in good spots. But turning to this show to solve your problems, I don't think they really want to solve the problem. Maybe they'll get some advice. Maybe they'll get something good out of it. Maybe it's just going to confirm what they already think. But I think it's more just like, yeah, this is a horrible thing I'm going through and I don't want to tell anybody I know know about it. And I certainly don't want to really admit to like a therapist or a family member that I've got this happen.

[Toledo]

At times, hearing a few of them, I'm thinking this person wrote this just to get it on the radio. Like, made the scenario up. But then you find out, no, no.

[Dale Hellistra]

You mean it's not like they show up too? That's the crazy part. You think they'd hide in closets when they saw us? Like, those are the guys I told about the thing they run up, hey, I'm the guy who said the thing about the blowjobs in the bat. This is my son. He's the one who did it. Like, I didn't want that door to come. I didn't want that opening up.

[Toledo]

You're a good kid, Danny.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. And David Jordan nails it. He goes, it's just an effed up therapy session with you guys. It's true. We're free. You know, you'll get a couple laughs out of it, hopefully. And then you kind of realize, okay, it's out there. There's something healthy about just putting it out in the ether. You know, when they tell. Therapists will tell people if you got a problem with somebody. Like, I had a guy who used to work here who got mad at her old boss for finding firing him. Like he was really mad. And his therapist said, write a letter to him and like mail it to other people. Mail it to a friend, mail it to Brett, mail it to Brady. And just the letter to him got mailed out and you did every action except because it wasn't at the time it was Chuck, our old boss, Chuck, he was dying. There was no time to tell him, I hate you. It just wasn't an appropriate time to get the bitterness and anger, which was listed legitimate, out to the guy who was literally going to die, like, in a couple days. It just wasn't a kosher human move. So he wrote letters and he gave them to other people and just said, I just got it off my chest. And that's kind of what I think happens with us. That's the best way I can do it. Because otherwise that doesn't make any sense. Why anybody. I would never email anybody on the radio. And that's why I think half the time the names are probably not right. The emails are always a number. Google in like 694155. It's like the brand new Google email. They just put it together. So it's a. Yeah, it's a release for lunatics, but we are. Your earbuds. Hey, you're listening to the Earbuds. Oh, my God. I hope the Bob's done. Hear that?

[Toledo]

Fantastic.

[Dale Hellistra]

Count on that new Cincinnati morning show from Hubbard, the Earbuds. Oh, no. I apologize in advance. My little joke about how stupid that would be is going to be taken very seriously by the terrible human beings that run radio or copyright that.

[Toledo]

You can modify it. Put a Z on it, too.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, that's what it would be. The Earbuds. Right now. Four Bobs.

[G]

You know, I just had this thought. Earbuds is a pretty good name for a new show.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's a great idea. Yeah. And since we destroyed the entire medium.

[G]

Of radio, why don't we just go.

[Dale Hellistra]

A little further and nauseate people with stuff now. And Earbuds will be, like, in nine different markets. The earbuds are in San Antonio and St. Louis and Cincinnati. Your fault. All different shows, but all called the Earbuds. And it'll be my fault. I will. I am sorry in advance, but right now, brainless radio executives heard that. I hope not. Are having a meeting somewhere, or at least on a zoom call going, ah, earbuds. And it's gonna. See, I breathe it out into the air.

[John Holmberg]

Way to go, pal.

[Dale Hellistra]

You know, that's. That's the proper response. Nice job, pal. You're really on that one. Hey, Kari Lake. I heard Ladonna was talking crap about you. God damn. Oh, what am I hearing about this Ladonna character? She hasn't had a hit since 1987. You want to talk about being a material girl? That's me, baby. And the material is Kevlar. Get out of here. Stop talking about her.

[John Holmberg]

It's like they summon.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, yeah. You have buttons that summon the beast. This says, tell brady that double Ls in Spanish are 95% of the time pronounced like a Y in English. Polo loco. White people say, no. We all know pollo loco.

[John Holmberg]

Brady knows that one.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, you got that one. That's Billy. Yeah, that's it. And then another guy says, hey, John, ask Brady what we're supposed to do. I heard him get mad at it. I have a friend who mispronounces words constantly. And then when people say no, you say it like this. He gets mad and acts like they're doing something wrong. And he says what Brady said, which triggered me. Thanks for pointing it out. Am I supposed to just ignore it? I get if I ignore it occasionally, but when it happens, it's all the time. This dude is Brady times 10. Constant flow of dummy words and mispronunciations. He's also from Ohio. Is it the school system, Harris? Would you prefer we just ignored it? Because then we'd have to. But here's.

[Eddie]

Here's.

[Toledo]

I do with you guys.

[Dale Hellistra]

Here's the counter. You do with us. Let's see. But that's like Guy Fieri giving cooking advice. No, no, no, no. That's. You do it constantly. If Dale mispronounces a word, you beam and laugh. We all find it funny on the news. Well, you're not in a position to.

[Toledo]

There's fun with it too.

[Dale Hellistra]

You're not in a position to correct. It's like me trying to teach you to borrow barbecue. Like, you'd be like, get out of here. And you're making all sorts of mistakes. You would correct me constantly. When Dale screws up or news people screw up, you say, oh, my God, they screwed that up. Because it's. You got to point it out.

[Toledo]

Oh, good. I'm not the only one.

[Dale Hellistra]

Everybody makes mistakes. You do it all the time. That's what makes it fun. This guy does it more than you. It's crazy. We're not ignoring it though, because it makes us look dumb. That's like they're accepting that. That's not an acceptable answer. This one says, good morning. Here we go. Another one says, good morning, John. Lost another furry friend Yesterday. Diesel, my 13 year old German shepherd. He was the best dog to my kids, the ultimate protector, and will be truly missed by the whole family. Sign Ian. Ian. There you go. Everybody's got to give their cookies to their pets right now. For Diesel, German shepherd, that goes 13 years. That's a win. That's getting them to the finish line. I always tell people that it hurts when they die because 13 years is not long. But a German shepherd going for 13, that's all nine innings, man, that's a full life. You did a good job. So tip your cap and do me a favor. Give another German shepherd or another dog that you find at a ship shelter the same chance you gave Diesel. That's the ultimate tribute to Diesel, is to say, you know what? I gave Diesel a great life. There's another one out there waiting for that same chance, sitting in a cage right now at a shelter. Lost her home. I'm going there later today, the Humane Society. Somebody threw a cat out a window, a kitten just a few weeks old, chucked it on a car window. And the Humane Society's asking for people to foster they knew need help.

[Toledo]

And people, the number from the Humane Society.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's insane.

[Toledo]

Get in this year.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's insane.

[Toledo]

22,000.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's insane. It's. It's Their. Their numbers are. When you look at their numbers, it is unbelievable how bad we are at this. So when you hear somebody like Ian, who gave Diesel, The German Shepherd, 13 great years, I know it sounds callous. I've gotten. I've gotten way past this where you say, I'm just not ready for another dog. Well, another dog's ready for you. You're too good at this to not have one.

[John Holmberg]

Three of our four rescues.

[Dale Hellistra]

You have to do it. You have to. If you're great at owning dogs, I got no problem with you. Like, I understand what you're saying. When you lose him, you're like, I'm just not ready. I'm just not ready. But you know what? Shake it off. Get ready and give a. Give a great life to a dog like you did. Diesel. Cookies and drinks for Diesel tonight and all the Diesels out there. It bothers me when great dog like Larry bothers me. He's a great dog guy, and he's just like, I can't. I'm not ready. The last one hurt. They all hurt. They all hurt.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're human.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, they're your best friends. They're amazing. But what hurts more, that shelter where those dogs don't even have a chance to feel that. That. That life that you gave the last one. There's so many of them out there that need good people, and they usually come from bad people. They bring us too much joy. I get too many letters every day. But always talking about how amazing their pets were. And I love that. The only good thing about all these emails I get about when people say their dogs are gone is that they're usually like 16, 17, 13, big dog. You know, I don't like hearing the ones like it was four and had a thing that's just awful. And I understand that's painful. But if you're a good, if you're a good pet person, get over the whole I'm not ready yet thing and recognize you know what, the next dog needs me and you'll find it. It's there. Dale Hel is going to join us in just a little bit. It's 98 KUPD. It's not weird.

[Eddie]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Dale Hellistra]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? CMC is hiring immediately at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. Open positions with a $5,000 sign on bonus include automation specialists, industrial electricians and industrial mechanics. Join the next generation of steel makers.

[Brady Bogan]

And help keep our electrical operators and.

[Dale Hellistra]

Machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness and it's time once again for this week's Pick of the litter brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters. Go To Turf Monsters AZ.com they help us out at Lost our home pet rescue. We appreciate them greatly. This week's pick of the Litter is a project. It's Jep. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees right now. This week, Pick of the litter is. It's Jep. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com youm know where your business would be without you. Imagine where it could go with more of you. Well, with Wix you can create a website with more of your vision, your voice, your expertise. WIX gives you the freedom to truly own your brand and do it on your own. With full customization and advanced AI tools that help turn your ideas into reality, grow your business into your online brand brand. Because without you, your business is just business as usual. Go to wix.com.

[Eddie]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellistra]

They're awful. You're making fun of that song. Like there's a problem with it.

[Eddie]

Is there. Is that going on over the air?

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. That's a good song.

[Eddie]

You guys get ratings with that? You.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, we get ratings of what we do between the songs. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Thank you for having me in.

[Dale Hellistra]

Good one. Well played. Dale hellistra is here. He joins us on Thursdays for what is supposed to be some sort of sports dog. But it's very rare that Dale goes down that road. He's usually got some problem he won't shut up about.

[Eddie]

Well, I. I do. I do got three things.

[Dale Hellistra]

Let me finish. Well, have you done a radio show once in your life? Dale is brought to you by Dale is brought to you by Prestige Billiards AZ.com if you want to go. What?

[Eddie]

Where is he?

[Dale Hellistra]

He's still not here. I got to text me. I do have to tell him finally. Get down here. Prestige billiards az.com use meathead98. Get 10% off anything. You get a game room. If you've already got a game room, you get all the stuff in there. He's got great. The pool sticks or the. He got me one of those once. He said, you got to try this. I'm like, how much is this? It was like $11,000. For a pool stick? I didn't even know they made those. That was like. That's what I said. This thing better have a set of cans on it.

[Toledo]

Graphite.

[Dale Hellistra]

It was amazing. He's got high end, low end, middle, all that stuff. He' everything. He's got access to it all, plus pool tables galore. So if you're looking for a game room, that's the only place to go. Prestige billiards AZ.com There, Dale, now you've brought a sheet. What?

[Eddie]

I just got a couple topics because I get to hear you guys periodically.

[Dale Hellistra]

You take notes.

[Eddie]

No, I. I just wrote them down real quick because I didn't want to forget about it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay, go ahead.

[Eddie]

Well, the first thing was what day I heard you make earlier today.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay.

[Eddie]

You were making fun of Brady. Mispronouncing, pronouncing which time things. And then you brought my name up. Yes, because YouTube, I don't mispronounce things.

[Dale Hellistra]

You don't understand words and are kind of adult when it comes to conversation. So we have to correct you a lot, too.

[Eddie]

But. And so I. I was thinking about. It doesn't necessarily fall and fall under this category, but I was golfing. I golf in a men's group over at moon valley and kind of gay. Well, let's talk about your stool softener.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, I'll tell you about. I'll tell that story all day.

[Eddie]

And so I, I've gone with this guy. I've gone with him six, seven times. I know. I know him.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And all of a sudden, this particular day, this happened last week.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. I'm calling him the wrong name the whole time.

[Eddie]

Yeah, his name's Preston.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, the worst.

[Eddie]

And I started calling him Spencer. And I was fully confident by the third hole, he's bending over to Marcus Ball, and he looks up at me, he goes, my name isn't effing Spencer. Spencer. It's Preston. I'm like, I really. It was an honest mistake.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Now that's.

[Dale Hellistra]

Why do you think Spencer was.

[Eddie]

I have no clue.

[Dale Hellistra]

Do you know a Spencer Preston?

[Eddie]

I have no Spence. I have no Spencers in my life. So that's never why. So you wanted one. I don't mispronounce words because I'm, I'm into.

[Dale Hellistra]

Do you consider you. Okay, see the laugh. And even Brady, who got all upset about that earlier, is first one on board laughing at that. Do you consider yourself articulate or an orator?

[Eddie]

Very much so. Very much so.

[Dale Hellistra]

So you think that people would pay you to give speeches?

[Eddie]

Oh, in a heartbeat.

[Dale Hellistra]

Nobody's pay. No way.

[Eddie]

Motivational speeches, John. I care about motivation. Where kids camp?

[Dale Hellistra]

Kids? Yeah. Dummies.

[John Holmberg]

School kids over here.

[Toledo]

They need to hear those messages. The thespian over here.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. You're the Tony. Don't even start.

[John Holmberg]

Don't even start.

[Dale Hellistra]

You're the Tony Robbins of fifth grade.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay, that's, yeah. All right.

[Eddie]

So, so that was.

[Dale Hellistra]

And what, what did children need? Motivation.

[Eddie]

No, I'm talking about high school kids.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay. What do they need motivation for?

[Toledo]

Football inspiration.

[Eddie]

Did you need motivation in high school?

[Dale Hellistra]

No.

[Toledo]

You got it from your dad.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, I got motivation from graduating because I was like, like, this is dumb.

[John Holmberg]

Getting out of here.

[Eddie]

You didn't get a motivation. You went to three colleges.

[Dale Hellistra]

You know why?

[Eddie]

Because.

[Dale Hellistra]

And here's. Here's the thing. I can admit two things. I wasted my time in college. If you can admit you can't form a sentence without, like, a hard hat and some scaffolding.

[Eddie]

I, I, I can form a sentence with the best of them. Brady. And I can have a spell off.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, do that.

[Toledo]

Do that.

[Dale Hellistra]

Brady can spell.

[Toledo]

Why don't you join us?

[John Holmberg]

No, I can't spell. I can't spell. As soon as the red squiggly line comes under my text message.

[Eddie]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

I freely admit it. Though I'm not here trying to sell a bunch of crap like you clowns.

[Dale Hellistra]

What?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Mr. Articulate. I'm scooting over here by Brett because he couldn't be more right.

[Eddie]

I mean, when he got into Coco.

[Toledo]

Don't even start.

[Dale Hellistra]

Why is it the ones who are most wrong, they dig their heels in.

[Toledo]

Throwing me in this?

[Dale Hellistra]

You shut up. You're just as bad as him. He. You in. You two are a team. And you didn't go, hey, don't let me in with your dumb ass, Dale. You ran with it. You held hands with him and skipped through the flowers. You can't pronounce. All right, so that was one that you're not articulate. I agree. Move on.

[Eddie]

Okay. Secondly, we could talk about.

[Dale Hellistra]

By the way. Hold on. Before we move on, do you. Do you like public speaking? Is that something? Do you really get behind a. Like you're up in front of a crowd?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

You do.

[Eddie]

And I'm pretty good. I've been told I'm pretty good.

[Dale Hellistra]

By who?

[Eddie]

By Dale.

[Dale Hellistra]

That was the best beat I've ever heard. I'm so motivated. That is pretty funny. You're the best speaker of all time, Dale. And then he goes.

[Toledo]

No, it's mean.

[Dale Hellistra]

And then he goes.

[Eddie]

It's hurtful.

[Dale Hellistra]

I want to say, I want you to come back next week. You got it, Preston.

[Eddie]

But my name is Ben.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, that was a good one. I enjoyed myself.

[Eddie]

All right.

[Toledo]

So did Preston Spencer. Get over. Get over it. You.

[Eddie]

Well, actually, now more people are calling him Spencer than Preston.

[Dale Hellistra]

There you go. So you're having some fun with it, John.

[John Holmberg]

I'm a trailblazer.

[Eddie]

I do have some influence. You know, people follow his influence.

[Dale Hellistra]

They just took advantage of the stupidest thing they've ever heard, and they attached it to this poor bastard who probably hated it.

[Eddie]

All right, now let's get to a serial serious topic.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yes.

[Eddie]

Because I did hear then I had to go do my number one rated radio show with Steve McCollum. You guys were talking about if you gave up pizza.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

So your dog.

[Dale Hellistra]

I knew you'd have a child about.

[Eddie]

What? But what was it your dog would say?

[Toledo]

Three more years of life.

[Eddie]

Is that what it said?

[Dale Hellistra]

Three?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

So if it's. Yeah, if. Would you add years to your dog's life by giving up something you love?

[Eddie]

And you said, pizza.

[Dale Hellistra]

I asked Brady for pizza. He took some.

[Toledo]

I just think about it.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

I don't have to think about it.

[Dale Hellistra]

You would kill your dog. But you don't have, like, human Emotion. Whoever created you didn't put that in.

[Eddie]

I got a soft heart, John. I cried American Idol. When somebody gets tossed off.

[Dale Hellistra]

I know people are getting tossed off on that show. I'd watch if that was true. Who got tossed off last night? Seacrest. I missed assuming. Yeah, that. That's just horrible.

[Eddie]

Why is that horrible?

[Dale Hellistra]

Because if I turned it and said.

[Toledo]

Would you give up the Steelers?

[Dale Hellistra]

You know, if I said, if you. If I could add years to your wife's life. Yeah, but you had to give a piece something you love. Oh, I would. For. Yeah.

[Eddie]

How about for Megan on her birthday, would you give us.

[Dale Hellistra]

For my dogs.

[Eddie]

Steelers fandom for. For your wife.

[Dale Hellistra]

She's got plenty of years. If the dogs only get like 12 or 13 and she's. She gets like 70.

[Toledo]

Giving up your relationship, basically, one in seven said if they would let go.

[Dale Hellistra]

See, there's the thing. If someone asked me, like, she's gonna leave if you don't give up these dogs. I don't do ultimatums.

[Eddie]

Well, you do.

[Dale Hellistra]

I.

[Eddie]

That's what I'm saying.

[Dale Hellistra]

So I'd be like, off you go.

[Toledo]

Do that to me on pizza.

[Dale Hellistra]

But I'm not. I'm saying that this is like some wizard power. If some wizard power said, you have to, Megan's out and your dogs live longer. Jeez, that's a.

[Toledo]

There. There's the pizza quantity.

[Dale Hellistra]

Not really, no. Because I still get pizza.

[Toledo]

That's right.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, I mean, of course. Of course. That's a tough one. Because now you're. Now it's. It's, you know.

[Eddie]

No, I hear you. And again, it's all. It's a dumb question to begin with. You guys spent 10 minutes talking and.

[Dale Hellistra]

You were bringing it back up. So don't. Don't blame us.

[Eddie]

But I want to tell you this because you think I'm not a pet person.

[Dale Hellistra]

You're not. And I can explain why I know that.

[Eddie]

And I am not really a pet person. But I will tell you, Tell you this. My wife found our dog now, riding her bike, and somebody threw what was probably a week old little puppy out of a window.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh.

[Eddie]

In the middle of July, she went.

[Dale Hellistra]

She saw.

[Toledo]

Car window.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah. Out of a car window.

[Dale Hellistra]

Moving.

[Eddie]

Yeah. And she thought it was a Beanie Baby. And then as she's riding her bike and she kind of looks. As she's riding by and it's moving.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, it's like, I'd kill.

[Eddie]

And so she swung around, around, picked it up, found saw. We had no idea what kind of dog it was. It's turned into. Be the best thing we've had in our life.

[Dale Hellistra]

I mean, so would you give up something you love to keep that dog around?

[Eddie]

Well, it depends on what you know. The dog's now 14.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't kill the dog for golf.

[Eddie]

I'm not an ultimatum guy, John.

[Dale Hellistra]

This isn't an ultimatum. This is again, Ultimatum is ultimatum. Ultimatum is you're. Did you say old tomato? I think you called him an ultimatum. This isn't an ultimatum. It's more just wizard fantasies that can't happen. But if you could prolong one thing by giving. It's. It's basically what the question is philosophically is sacrifice.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

For something else.

[Toledo]

Finding people's thresholds.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, no, it's less that. It's more. Are you willing to be a sacrifice for something else's benefit?

[Eddie]

Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

And so that's the bigger question. Are you going to sacrifice something you care about to benefit another thing? It isn't about, like, what you think deep down. If you say no, no, that means you're not a, A fluid person. You're. Yeah, you're stuck. You're stuck in your ways. No, no, no.

[Eddie]

You're stuck in your ways.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, I'm not.

[Toledo]

It's.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, I'm not. It's a, it's a. That's an old question from. I did go to junior college, but I went to a lot of philosophy stuff. And those questions always hit me as, oh, that's a philosophy question.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

That doesn't mean what it says. There's a deeper meaning to it. That's basically judging you with your answer.

[Eddie]

But I, I.

[Toledo]

Right. And it's judging on the fact that, that just because a person says, I'm sorry, I'm not giving up golf now, that person is judged as a bad person.

[Dale Hellistra]

That person is revealing something about themselves. That's how people look at it, that they will take. The true philosophical way to look at that is they will not give up something of their, their own. Care for another thing?

[Eddie]

I'll give up running.

[Dale Hellistra]

But they don't love running.

[Toledo]

But it's different.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's why you have to ask, if it's something you love, are you willing to sacrifice? Sacrifice a very nice thing for you to give more to another being that maybe you love. Because if it was your daughter, of course. So you, you start running angles. Right.

[John Holmberg]

Right on the other side of it. That's why I chose not to have kids. I'm selfish. I don't want. I don't want to deal with that. I want for me and my wife do whatever we want, whenever we want.

[Eddie]

Right. But I admit it. I was watching a Sebastian Mascalco thing on Netflix last night week, and he talks about that. He goes, you know, people saying, you have kids, you need to have kids, because when you have kids, it's not about you.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

It's about them. He goes, why would I want.

[Dale Hellistra]

Why would I want that? Yeah. How's that? A clown. Yeah, that sounds awful. And I'm with you on that. Yeah. But hey, the last thing I want is to have a son blowing some guy in a bathroom and end up in the principal's office. Because we got that some guy emailed us earlier this week that his wife died. And after reading the email, she probably killed herself. But the kid. The kid heard their son got caught at school blowing a kid in the bathroom. And that's how we found out his son's kid.

[Eddie]

Willingly or this guy was.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, it was willingly. He was enjoying the hell out of it. They. Both of them were having a time.

[Eddie]

Of their life in high school.

[Toledo]

Experiment.

[Dale Hellistra]

Blowjobs happen in high school. I know. Not for you, but for a lot of guys.

[Eddie]

There's no guys there. I know for you, Dobson, maybe that's a regular thing.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, no, I'm not saying other guys. I'm. Blowjobs are very real for high school kids.

[Eddie]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but you enjoyed from both.

[Dale Hellistra]

Hey, look, if a guy's got his mouth open and he's bored, I give up pizza for that.

[Eddie]

So anyways, the f. The story. We have raised this dog. It's 14 years old. It's healthy as a horse. I spent a lot of money on it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Now, if your wife was like, I want this dog to live to be 20, and some wizard said, all Dale has to do is give up golfing at will. Would you do that?

[Eddie]

It's not making it 20 if it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Did, but the wizard can make that happen.

[Eddie]

Yeah, but I'm just telling you. I'm telling the wizard. He's not.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, you're saying I'm not, But your wife is saying, gosh, I wish that was you. You wouldn't do that for her either.

[Eddie]

I love you, honey. I'm the boss of the house.

[Dale Hellistra]

And this is where you're a dick.

[Eddie]

So you're judging me?

[Dale Hellistra]

Of course I'm judging you. That's a horrible thing to do.

[Toledo]

Exactly.

[Dale Hellistra]

You're unwilling to waver your own personal desires and needs for your satiation of happiness and go look it up. And then. And to make your wife, you know what it is, your best friend.

[Toledo]

So it needs to be 50. 50 if she gives up golf. She needs.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, that's not true. The wizard said this.

[Toledo]

They both need to get.

[Dale Hellistra]

The wizard said this. Now Gail loved something and your wife had to give up something she loved. I guarantee you this is true. That she had to give up something she loved.

[Eddie]

She went on.

[Dale Hellistra]

So you could golf and be more comfortable in your body. No, no, no. So you didn't have to because I've golfed with you and it's no fun to watch. It's terrible. It's like you look like you look a little bit like Tower 2 right before it went down. Every swing you're kind of on fire. Not real sure what's going. A lot of people running. Running around there like you don't look comfortable golfing.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

If you could have a pain free golf round.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

And your wife could sacrifice something she loved.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Dale Hellistra]

So just when you golfed, you didn't feel an ounce of pain from the years and years of sacrifice for football.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

And you could have a round of golf pain free.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

And she. I guarantee you Brooke would give.

[Eddie]

She would. And I would do that for her dog to live years.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's for her.

[Eddie]

No. Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

Cuz she wants.

[Eddie]

No, they. That's a ridiculous request.

[Dale Hellistra]

Thank you. I am judging you because you're being a judge, dick. Like you deserve it. No, but it's true. Like. And I guarantee you she would take anything.

[Eddie]

She would. For that. Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. She would sacrifice the dog she loves for Dale's health.

[Eddie]

I don't know. We. We play a game with our family and.

[Dale Hellistra]

And who would you kill for Dale to live longer?

[Eddie]

No, the question was what are your last words on your deathbed?

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh boy.

[Eddie]

And daughters, son in laws, friends were all playing this game and 95% of them were. Please take care of Mila. Make sure Mila's the dog.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, that's true. That's.

[Eddie]

What about me, you know, saying Brad. What about me Call Troy is what it says.

[Dale Hellistra]

Aikman will handle this. He spends a lot of time wiping your ass through your whole entire Life. Anyway, it's 9:25, Dale. Hell. Australia's here. Got to take a break. We'll come back. Back. And Dale evidently knows something about sports. He's never once revealed that, but today maybe he will. It's 98 kupd hol.

[Eddie]

Morning sickness.

[Dale Hellistra]

I was young.

[Eddie]

You just snorted.

[Dale Hellistra]

It was a good one, Johnny. It's a good one. It's a Dale Hell, trade day. Thursday's nine o' clock. Dale comes in. Brought to you by prestige billiards azwa.com let's get some sports talk in for Christ.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Dale Hellistra]

Start with Pete Rose.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Dale Hellistra]

We've had feelings on the show. One of my notes. You have more notes than. All right, I'll let you know.

[Eddie]

I just had three topics.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay. And Pete's one of them. And.

[Eddie]

And. And Pete and the. The. The reinstated and all. It doesn't mean he's in the hall of Fame.

[Dale Hellistra]

He's giving it.

[Eddie]

He can be voting if they re.

[Dale Hellistra]

If they did. If they went to this, it's to let him in.

[Eddie]

He's still got to be voted on.

[Dale Hellistra]

John.

[Eddie]

It's just like the steroid guys. They're eligible to be.

[Dale Hellistra]

It'll happen.

[Eddie]

Inducted.

[Toledo]

Those 12 guys could agree with you.

[Dale Hellistra]

Steroids.

[Toledo]

Steroids are saying they don't want to vote.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's happening. The steroids are different because it was an illegal substance.

[Eddie]

It wasn't illegal there.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, no, it was.

[Eddie]

It was.

[Dale Hellistra]

Federally. It was not really. That's.

[Eddie]

That's not league.

[Dale Hellistra]

In the. But in the league's laws it said you cannot be caught with an illegal substance.

[Toledo]

But what if it's.

[Dale Hellistra]

You couldn't. It's felonious to have that. Did the doctors prescribe unprescribed pills are against the law. So you can't break the law. In your contract it says that you cannot break the law. And that's breaking the law.

[Eddie]

That was the side issue with that. So I get into the NFL in 1985.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

I really don't know what steroids are.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yes, you do.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Dale Hellistra]

All SMU guys were trained to lie. We don't know what point shaving is.

[Eddie]

I really don't know point shaving.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, yeah. You were saving points.

[Eddie]

We won every game we played.

[Dale Hellistra]

Except one.

[Eddie]

Go on.

[Dale Hellistra]

You tied Arkansas, if I recall correctly.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And that's because our coach didn't go for.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay. I don't care why.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So anyway, 85, my rookie year. I play it. I don't know really know about steroids. Yeah, obviously I heard of them. I don't. I don't know how you do them or whatever. And go back in the spring and now dudes are walking along locker room with toolboxes.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

In a locker room. I thought steroids were something you do in the bathroom.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

You know, in the back of the gym. And nobody sees you.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

And they just open it up and I'm like looking at it. Go What? What are you. And they just start mixing and matching stuff and going at it and they shoot up and I'm like, that's weird. Yeah. And. And I did. I never. I did. I never took steroids. Never had to. You thank.

[Dale Hellistra]

Thankfully, really.

[Eddie]

But played against guys who took steroids. Joe Klekko, life changing. Joe Cleo for the New York Jets. And this is what I'm talking about. Personal experience. I was 290 pounds then. Center was 290 pounds. Cleco was playing nose tackle. We're trying to double team him. I emphasize the word trying because he would literally stick one hand in the center chest, another hand in my chest, and we're holding on with every.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

We're both 290 pound guys. He's 290 pounds.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. There's no chance he was just better than the both of you.

[Eddie]

There was no skill in that. And a hand.

[Dale Hellistra]

The defensive line punches right to the breastplate.

[Eddie]

And we're holding on for dear life. By the way, Jim Kelly at that time.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Okay. Thought 60% completion percentage was the end all. End all. Hall of Fame. Stop.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

And so he would rather take a sack than throw the ball away.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

And so he's back there and both. Cat hole was the center. Throw the blanket ball. For crying out loud.

[Dale Hellistra]

He's a monster.

[Eddie]

And then we find out, you know, New York Jack came the next year or whatever and he's like, oh yeah, Joe Kleko. He'd put a piece of wood on each hand and told us that. And a 250 pound linebacker would get on one. He's sitting down.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And he do reps. 250 pound guys.

[Dale Hellistra]

Each arm's 250. Holy cow.

[Toledo]

It's a little seat.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Wow.

[Eddie]

Boom, boom. And it's like, well, of course that's not fair. And then.

[Dale Hellistra]

Did you think at that point I should do that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Why didn't you ever do it?

[Eddie]

Because.

[Toledo]

Well, but in fairness I didn't.

[Eddie]

And that's where I'm gonna go.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yes.

[Eddie]

I didn't have to because thankfully I made the the team. Now if I was borderline or got caught or hey, you need. I. I think I probably would have.

[Dale Hellistra]

Done him for sure.

[Toledo]

Is the only. Is he confirmed? Because he's the only one that you're saying that is taking steroids. Because most NFL players I've talked to, none of them have ever taken steroids.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he think everybody in prison's innocent.

[Eddie]

He's the one I personally Experienced.

[Dale Hellistra]

There were plenty of them. Yes. Yeah.

[Eddie]

But.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, there was that book that came out a while, Kevin Ray, my friend Kevin Ray, You've met him. I was hanging out with him yesterday for a little while.

[John Holmberg]

Truth.

[Dale Hellistra]

And he talked about a book he read called what do you need? Or something. I think it was called one of the trainers for, I think the Raiders.

[Eddie]

No. Well, okay. So he, we. My friend Kevin Ray and I had beers the other week.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, yeah? I stayed at his house for a week. I stayed for two. Yeah. Really? I didn't want to over. He said, he said the last guy overstayed as well.

[Eddie]

No. Because again, now you're getting me off track. But I was with the Raiders for a year.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eddie]

And literally you walk into the training room, Tupperware, I don't know, box tubs about this big, Vicodin, Darviset, Advil, whatever. You can't get over the counter. The Advil strength, double whatever. You could walk in, you just grab a handful, you Percocet, put them in your pocket.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. And that's the way, that's the way the game works.

[Toledo]

Well, they were prescribed to the team.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

I don't know how they got them all, but.

[Dale Hellistra]

But steroids were an illegal substance. Going back to the original part of this, in, in day to day life, you were not allowed to have or possess steroids. And very rarely are you prescribed straight steroids.

[Toledo]

Right.

[Eddie]

So what I was going to tell you. So then, so this is 85, 86, and then 87, 88, they start instituting.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

Drug testing, no suspensions, but.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

They're. They're just getting you getting, Getting indoctrinated.

[Dale Hellistra]

Exactly.

[Eddie]

That's a big word.

[Dale Hellistra]

That was a big word. Very articulate.

[Toledo]

Good one.

[Eddie]

Into the league.

[Dale Hellistra]

I did, I was, I was impressed. I give. I mean, it took him half a minute to run down that Runway.

[John Holmberg]

Less time than I was figuring, though. We're good.

[Dale Hellistra]

I didn't think we'd ever get there either.

[Eddie]

And all of a sudden, bunch of 6 foot 1, 6 foot 2, 290 pound guards.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

We're out of the league because they're really £240.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right, right.

[Eddie]

You know, and, and so the one thing I've always said about steroids, the difference between football and basket or baseball was the fact that football. If you're on steroids.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And I'm not. I gotta block you 65 times in a game if you're on steroids. I'm not. That's an unfair battle.

[Dale Hellistra]

Very true.

[Eddie]

Unfair battle.

[Dale Hellistra]

Very true.

[Eddie]

But if in baseball, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah. One of the most buff dudes in the entire world. Whatever.

[Dale Hellistra]

A little bit.

[Eddie]

Whatever. He couldn't hit a baseball.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

So if you take steroids and baseball.

[Dale Hellistra]

Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of the buffest guys in the world. Couldn't block one guy.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

I mean, it's just the skill to have the skill.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right.

[Eddie]

Well, that's what I say. So if you take a steroid in baseball, you still got to put the bat on the ball.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay, But. But the argument back to that is your bat speed doesn't decrease as the season goes on. And baseball is an attrition sport.

[Toledo]

And when you get the bat on the ball.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right, you're going to find now you're pushing it a little further, getting five, six more feet. Feet.

[Eddie]

No, I understand.

[Dale Hellistra]

And you've got a different batting average and more home runs, so. And pitchers were the ones that abused steroids the most because the recovery. Recovery was at 24 hours rather than.

[Eddie]

Three days, but much easier.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And so what I was gonna say is, so like, I'm sitting there in Double A. You and I are roommates. We're both a double A also. We go away for an offseason. We come back, you've gained 20 pounds right now, sudden you're hitting home runs.

[Dale Hellistra]

And I'm gonna get a contract.

[Eddie]

And you get called up, and I'm sitting here going, yeah, I know you better than I know you did. Steroids, we're at least the same.

[Dale Hellistra]

Not anymore.

[Eddie]

You know, and all of a sudden you're up in the big leagues, and that would really.

[Dale Hellistra]

So do you think steroids should be more focused ban than Pete Rose's thing?

[Eddie]

Here's the thing about Pete Rose is the fact that I, I've heard him say, first of all, he's an ass. But that has nothing to do with hall of Fame.

[Dale Hellistra]

Barry Bonds isn't in for that same reason. Yeah, but that was back when people were afraid of people. Now they can fight back.

[Eddie]

And there's certain people who are jerks who are in the hall of Fame. So I don't think people disqualify you for that. But, but, but when you, when you talk about the betting stuff, he never came clean. I don't think he ever came clean.

[Dale Hellistra]

He lied about it twice.

[Eddie]

At least twice.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. I mean, to the commission.

[Eddie]

And then, and then I heard somebody say this. I forget who it was, but they said, you know, he said he only bet on his team to win.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, it's Garbage.

[Eddie]

But did he bet 162 times every year?

[Dale Hellistra]

It's a good question.

[Eddie]

Because if we only bet 40.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Or 30 or whatever the number is. Well, what's he think's happening the other.

[Dale Hellistra]

Day on good bets? And if he only bet the. If he only bet the win line. Didn't ever say, like, oh, as a, you know, if, if we score like the over, under.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

And he's still, you know, he's, he's placing bunts with guys on second and they're up 71. And you're like, what's going on here? He's like, manufacturing runs to get. That's where it all kind of gets a little bit crazy.

[Eddie]

I just wish he would have came clean.

[Dale Hellistra]

Sure would have ended it.

[Eddie]

And it was a lifelong band.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And he's, he's dead.

[Dale Hellistra]

So.

[Eddie]

Yeah, so. And then my partner Steve McCollum said this yesterday.

[Dale Hellistra]

I thought, what's that from?

[Eddie]

Pretty good. You know, we're on Robot TV now.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, that's what it's called. Robot tv.

[Eddie]

The main event. The main event.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's the name of the show. Yes. On Robot tv. It's no longer on the other side.

[Eddie]

No, it's not on wts. M y.

[Dale Hellistra]

It hasn't been forever.

[Eddie]

No, it's. It's Rob Throwback. But, but, but, but, you know, he brought this up. He said you get the lifetime ban. And I'm sure you understand this, but if you're signing autographs as a base. Former baseball player, go to these shows.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

And you get to put Hof.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. It's huge.

[Eddie]

It. It. Your autograph goes from 50 bucks to 150 bucks.

[Dale Hellistra]

But Pete Rose never cared about that. Got paid by Field of Dreams in Las Vegas every day.

[Eddie]

Yeah, but he, but he could have charged $150 per.

[Dale Hellistra]

He made up for it in volume. Yeah. Trust.

[Eddie]

Sorry.

[Toledo]

I bet on baseball from Pete Rose.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's what yours said. Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I bet on baseball from him.

[Toledo]

Pete Rose.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. That's his autograph. Now he would, he would jokingly say, you know, little bets here and there. He. I had a friend who did a radio show with Pete in Vegas and said all he talked about was how he got railroaded and all he needed to say and he wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. And he even said, asshole top to bottom. Guy was an impossible guy. And so, yeah, he worked with him for a while. I didn't like being in the room with him. And he clearly was doing everything he could to piss them off more.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Dale Hellistra]

Like he wasn't. Like they said, just say you did it and we'll let you back in tomorrow. I was like, I'm never gonna.

[Eddie]

So he played the victim.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right. You see? Played so he could have done that. That HOF thing goes away when you realize you pro. And he didn't believe they'd put him back in. They thought I'd ostracize him even more for saying it. The one rule in baseball, and it's in every locker room. If you get caught gambling, you're not for good.

[Eddie]

Every NFL locker room, every practice facility. Big, huge sign over the entrance into there. Yeah, no gambling.

[Dale Hellistra]

No gambling. Yeah. And they're talking about doing it for college kids, allowing them to do it next year, that they'll be allowed to gamble.

[Eddie]

College kids.

[Dale Hellistra]

College kids. And that's a. That's a thing they're putting forward. Probably not next year, but in a year or two. And I think the big reason why is because fanduel is now giving so much money. Fanduel. And fanduel's the big one. It's handing over cash to sports. I mean, they're. FanDuel is a network for a couple of days of everything.

[Eddie]

So you guys are all doing your non. Love the fans, but you can't get anything from me.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, settle down. This isn't about sacrifice.

[Eddie]

Would you sacrifice that for me?

[Dale Hellistra]

No.

[Eddie]

You didn't even think about it?

[Dale Hellistra]

No. Why would I care about that at all? And not even a little football player.

[Eddie]

Or you saying you could say you can gamble on football?

[Dale Hellistra]

Yes. You're allowed to gamble. Now, I don't think you can bet on your own team, but you can.

[Toledo]

You can gamble on a.

[Dale Hellistra]

Gamble on college games.

[Eddie]

Well, the one thing is. Because it's.

[Dale Hellistra]

The cat's out of the bag. It's like what Vegas did with cameras. If you ever tried to walk around Vegas 15, 20 years ago with a camera, people would grab you and say, stop. You can't film anything in here. That's over. Like cameras on phones have. They can't win. The muffins are out of the bag.

[Eddie]

I'm pretty sure. Obviously, you got a. You got a phone. You bet on your phone. They can track that.

[Dale Hellistra]

Probably.

[Eddie]

I think. I think they can. But why would you. Why would you institute that they can do that?

[Dale Hellistra]

Because you're hypocrites if you don't. Because you're taking all that money from gambling everything.

[Eddie]

Because the one thing, sport, I will be adamant about this. The one thing about sports the only thing that they have is that their games are legitimate. And as soon as you allow a athlete to publicly gamble on his team, then you lose that. And I think that that's a big thing to the general public, fans.

[Dale Hellistra]

But they were always worried about that. And then they put a team in Vegas and realized we can't win. This the reason Vegas never had pro sports, because they were worried that gamblers would get to the players and screw with the sanctum.

[Eddie]

I just wonder why no gamblers ever came to me.

[Dale Hellistra]

Same way with Father Dale and me. You know, what was wrong with us?

[Eddie]

Yeah. I mean, well, obviously with you.

[Dale Hellistra]

No. Yeah. I would have gambled.

[Eddie]

I'd have taken the G gamble even Father Dale had.

[Dale Hellistra]

Both of us would have cashed in is what I'm saying.

[Eddie]

But why not go. I mean, but it would be. He's not. He's not going to the big nose Jew.

[Dale Hellistra]

If he's going to molest a child, it's going to be with some class. I see what you're saying coming to you. The.

[Eddie]

The long snapper.

[Toledo]

I know it wouldn't last long.

[Eddie]

No.

[Toledo]

You miss a couple of snaps your career.

[Dale Hellistra]

But that's what the gamblers would do. Just say, look, what's it worth? You make $300,000 a year in league minimum. I'll give you three million.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Over the next couple years if you. If you duff a couple of them. And Dale's going to get a couple opportunities.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

And then all of a sudden he just got the yips. Kickers and long snappers would be the first two dudes I'd go after. Lowest paid on the team, least respected and least job security.

[Toledo]

Did you have a clean season or no miss snaps ever? Is that.

[Eddie]

I had six, 15 years of not missing the snow. I had. I had a bad, bad games in Baltimore.

[Dale Hellistra]

Awesome.

[Eddie]

And then. And then you'll get a kick out of this. So I think it was my third year in Buffalo. Ended up breaking my wrist during the game.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh yeah.

[Eddie]

Navicular bone.

[Dale Hellistra]

This is great.

[Eddie]

And I'm also starting a guard. And somehow some way they taped it up and I took enough juju and I say it will play guard and. But, but snapping. I go out to snap and my wrist isn't working. And so kind of floats over the punter's head. And I told the specialties coach, I can play, but I can't snap. And he looked at me dead in the eye, looked at my wrist, looked me dead in the eye, looked at my wrist. He goes, that MFer better be broke.

[Dale Hellistra]

Otherwise you're off the team.

[Eddie]

And I remember flying over Cincinnati looking at my wrist. Do I want you to be broke?

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, please. Just start smashing it into the wall.

[Eddie]

Go home to the barber that night. Started hitting it with a hammer.

[Dale Hellistra]

George emails in and says legit question. Years ago, I heard an NFL player from the 90s say they took Viagra when it first came out to enhance their performance. Ask Dale if it's true. And how does Viagra enhance your performance? I'm legitimately curious because I'm considering using Viagra for my performance purposes. Did you ever hear that?

[Eddie]

Was Viagra around in the 90s?

[Dale Hellistra]

It's just started in the 90s, did it?

[Eddie]

I had never heard of it. Obviously. I was in my 30s back. Oh, we got it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, we got to take before we start talking about you on Viagra. All right, Dale. Hell street. So we got the entertainment drill coming up next. I still have sports questions for you. It's 98 KUPD. Hey, it's not weird.

[Eddie]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dale Hellistra]

No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.

[Eddie]

Homberg's morning sickness.

[Dale Hellistra]

The old method of treatment for a.

[Eddie]

Person in this condition was to throw him in jail.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. Thanks, Dale. The day I won't stop it is 1001.

[Eddie]

Probably teach that class.

[Dale Hellistra]

Talking about tactical. We get you out there to do that.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Look, they've been begging me to get you to go to react defense.

[Eddie]

Well, if I just don't want to embarrass Kevin Ray, we'll get you out.

[Dale Hellistra]

There with Kevin next Wednesday. You, me, and Kevin, we'll go up to react defense, and we'll. Because you do have, like, there's a lot of in tight, keep your hands in your body kind of motion. None of this windy whippy stuff.

[Eddie]

And so much, much from my rookie year on offensive line coach talked about. Same thing with boxers.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

So many guys, they see somebody doing something towards them, and they blink.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, don't blink.

[Eddie]

And if you blink, you don't see the other thing coming. And he used to train us on that because that's what defensive linemen will do. You know, they'll reach with one hand, and if you do a little blink.

[Dale Hellistra]

The other hand's gonna knock you out. Yeah. You see the little stuff?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Dale Hellistra]

I'm still terrible at that. I still blink.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

When I get hit, my eyes close. That's a hard thing to stop. It really is, but it's. It's fun to try.

[Eddie]

Your nose is such a target.

[Dale Hellistra]

It is. It is. It's not, it's not little. Can't miss. And the gloves, they can go up ahead of you. It still sticks out a little bit. It pokes out between. It can take a shot. And the good thing is it's intimidating because it bleeds so easily. Guys really think they've got me on my heels. Yeah, they got me on my skates. I'm going backwards because it just starts gushing blood after a jump. Jab. I don't feel anything. This nose is. It's its own entity. Shut up.

[Eddie]

Dale. Did you have a sports.

[Dale Hellistra]

I had sports questions for you. Do you think the NBA draft was rigged? No, you're incorrect. No, incorrect. New York Knicks will be the world champions and this was rigged. How.

[Eddie]

How can you sit there and go, 13 executives are in a room.

[Dale Hellistra]

It doesn't have to be in a room.

[Eddie]

No, all 13 of them are in one. 13.

[Dale Hellistra]

One matters and you're going to go all 13.

[Eddie]

You can be quiet. Hey, we'll slide you a little bit of money.

[Dale Hellistra]

They didn't do that.

[Eddie]

They were all in the same room.

[Dale Hellistra]

Adam Silver told the Dallas Mavericks, if you trade Luke, get Luka over there with LeBron for a couple, we'll make it good. And they did. Wembanyama, the first round pick of the San Antonio spurs might have a disease that keeps him from playing. That DVT is no joke. 1.9% chance they've got the second. Second pick. Yeah, they're making good. So the league stays steady.

[Eddie]

There's only one pick in this draft and that's.

[Dale Hellistra]

They get some good picks.

[Eddie]

No, I, I really was hoping that the Suns would. That they get the first pick and then here you go, mister.

[Dale Hellistra]

But yeah, I think it's rigged. And I think the New York Knicks. Wrong. No way. It's the only lottery that they do in a back room. And then tell everybody because it's boring.

[Eddie]

On tv, but then don't put it on tv. Wait. Because everybody likes it.

[Dale Hellistra]

Well, then put it on TV if it's in a back room.

[Eddie]

Was NFL draft. Was NFL schedule release? Was that up to the Steelers and Jets?

[Dale Hellistra]

Week one. Absolutely doctored and manipulated.

[Eddie]

You love that.

[Dale Hellistra]

Because why? Because it was fixed to say, oh, my God, we get these two together. Fon Rogers on the Steelers. Justin Fields. He is and we all know it. And Justin Fields is revenge. Week one. Come on.

[Eddie]

Your guy small hands is going to be leading you guys.

[Dale Hellistra]

No way. They manipulate every ounce of that. And I think the NBA draft was completely fixed when the Knicks are world champions. This year because they will not want Oklahoma City, Minnesota or Indiana.

[Eddie]

I know that.

[Dale Hellistra]

Then you're going to make it for the. You have.

[Eddie]

The Knicks have got Indiana, Oklahoma City. Can you imagine the ratings on that?

[Dale Hellistra]

Indiana could play the greatest games of all time. There's going to be 45 whistles in the fourth quarter. Gary. Guarantee that the Pacers do not make the finals. The Knicks are in. They're in.

[Eddie]

You're part of the problem, John.

[Dale Hellistra]

Probably. I'm not going to deny that, but I'm. I at least know what I'm talking about. You're crazy. That thing is rigged. One in the NFL was rigged. When you were there that went, boy, this is.

[Eddie]

Well, the, the whole thing is. When you say rigged, the only thing I think of that means you'd have to have a lot of complicit people.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, you won.

[Eddie]

No, you don't.

[Dale Hellistra]

One guy. One guy.

[Eddie]

You're in the back room and. And they go, we're gonna give the number one pick to Dallas. Everybody else go along with it?

[Dale Hellistra]

Nobody. You don't tell them.

[Eddie]

Yeah. How do you not tell them?

[Dale Hellistra]

Because you just.

[Eddie]

They're looking at the. They're looking at the things getting pulled out.

[Dale Hellistra]

Adam Silver rigs. You can rig bingo balls with a. With a little bit of liquid. Have you ever watched that?

[Eddie]

They've had like VFW things to do than I have.

[Dale Hellistra]

VFWs have been shut down because they rigged the bingo. Yeah, they. Because they rig bingo for the $500 jackpots. Better call Saul did a whole episode where he was rigging the bingo games to. To meet people that he needed to meet. And they were old people. And it's. It's. All you do is inject a little liquid into the ping pong ball. It changes everything. And that's as easy. Adam Silver comes out, goes. Here's the order. He doesn't talk to the executive.

[Eddie]

All back there.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's got liquid in the one. It's so easy.

[Eddie]

Or is it? Put it in a freezer so he can freeze it.

[Dale Hellistra]

You can freeze it. Put a. Put a little clear nail polish on it. It changes the weight. It'd be like last one up. So easy with ping pong balls and a 1950s corn popper. And that's how we pick it. Come on. You're. I'm. I'm going to say something I never thought I'd say. You're smarter than that.

[Eddie]

Hey, it's better than doing a coin flip in the. In the commissioner's office for. That's True for Lu Al Cinder and Neil walk. And no and no video. No film. No.

[Dale Hellistra]

Just the end result.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, that was rough. I agree. Coin flips are a tough one.

[Toledo]

Did you deflate the balls? Snapping at all?

[Eddie]

That's another. I don't know about that. It's stupid.

[Dale Hellistra]

No, it's not, Johnny. Four solid years, the New England Patriots led the league in fumbles per carry.

[Eddie]

Hey, hey. All I'm telling you is they were a four.

[Dale Hellistra]

The next closest team was a 17. And they were never the same year in year security.

[Eddie]

That's what Bill Belichick's about. No distractions, easier to hold the ball. No distractions.

[Dale Hellistra]

No distractions. He's got ball. Security and distractions. Actions now. All right, stop it, Dale.

[Eddie]

Hey, John.

[Dale Hellistra]

We're way over time. This is your fault. It's time now for the entertainment drill brought to you by my [e-mail] Tactical Black. I just found this out yesterday. Tactical Black, Glendale. One of the trainers I'm with runs Glendale is Tony. Tony's an awesome dude. Tony Sprague and his son Sonny is there too. And that kid's gonna be a beast. He's a great fighter. They have a thing called the Preston program. I didn't know this. Homeschooled kids can get their physical education kind of paid for by the state in a. In a thing called Preston program. Kids ages 8 to 12 as real world self defense and they can use Tony's program, he's approved for it, to get your kids in there. It's like for verbal skills, spatial boundaries, awareness, all the, all the self defense stuff you get fitness, balance, flexibility and basically it's a program. So check it out. Homeschoolers and ESA families. I didn't know any. Anything about this. You don't think about it. They don't have pe, so they have to find a program. This is a great one. They're an official ESA vendor if you know what that is. And you can call and check it all [e-mail] and then contact the Glendale store and the Spragues will talk to you about that. That's pretty awesome. I didn't even think about that. But kids that you know, is that amazing.

[Eddie]

All PE is gone?

[Dale Hellistra]

Pretty much. And then homeschool kids, you have to figure it out on your own.

[Eddie]

Right?

[Dale Hellistra]

This is a all awesome way to get them a program. So I think that's really cool. Find out more about it. React defense.com it's the home of Tactical Black, Brady and Dale Entertain me.

[Toledo]

The rest of the upfronts have come out. Netflix announced a couple of things. They're bringing back Star Search.

[Dale Hellistra]

Who's the host?

[Toledo]

They didn't say who's going to be involved, but it's going to be a live version.

[Dale Hellistra]

Okay.

[Toledo]

They also have a couple movies. Here comes. Here Comes the Flood. It's a heist thriller starring Denzel and Robert Pattinson. And then there's flight fight for 84. It's a movie based on a real life story of the plane crash that killed the US Olympic boxing team in 1980. Jamie Foxx will play the coach that rebuilds the program for the 84 Olympics.

[Dale Hellistra]

They did a good job, too.

[Toledo]

And you'll be happy to know that Bridgerton's coming back.

[Dale Hellistra]

Another episode. Oh, thank God. Season. Are you watching? You would love Bridgerton because you like Love Story and crap.

[Toledo]

It would be right up your alley.

[Dale Hellistra]

You would love it.

[Eddie]

Have you watched it?

[Dale Hellistra]

Yes, and you would love it. I don't care to see another episode, but you, my friend.

[Eddie]

Is it dirty? It's, it's, it's acceptable for wives. Oh, yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, wives. Eat it up. It's housewife porn without the porn. Okay, there's a little nudity, but it's, ooh, it's super tasteful, but it's, it's.

[John Holmberg]

Like Cinemax porn back in the day.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, yeah. It's not that bad. Oh, it's not even close to that bad. It's just a little titillating. You. You'd love it. You will end up in tears, popping popcorn, adding in that sprinkly, that butter and then the cheese powder. Oh, you two are going to have a weekend. You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Earbuds.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, you're going to be earbuds for sure.

[Toledo]

Multiple seasons now.

[Dale Hellistra]

I start with season one. It's the best one according to the ladies. And you're going to have a great weekend.

[Toledo]

Warner Brothers announced yesterday that they're changing the name of the streaming service Max back to HBO Max.

[Dale Hellistra]

Going back to hbo Max. I saw that the other day and I'm like, should have never got.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dale Hellistra]

HBO was what has always been.

[Toledo]

And they're rolling out. They did the new trailer for the James Gunn's Superman movie and also the Game of Thrones series, A Night of the Seven Kingdoms that's been pushed back for a year. 2026 is with the. That comes out.

[Dale Hellistra]

Does Dale have a story?

[Toledo]

Oh, he's got a big story.

[Dale Hellistra]

Go ahead, close it up, Dale.

[Eddie]

All Brads in New Zealand get a Free quarter Pounder thanks to Brad Pitt.

[Dale Hellistra]

People named Brad get free food.

[Eddie]

Full story says, if your name is Brad and you live In New Zealand, McDonald's wants to give you a free quarter pounder. And it's all because of Brad Pitt. Brad rolled up to McDonald's drive through in Auckland on Easter Sunday, had a brief interaction with a young fan and posted the video on social media. So now all Kiwi.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right. That's what they call them.

[Eddie]

So they call them.

[Dale Hellistra]

You didn't know that? Yeah, you looked at me kind of confused, but I'm getting used to that.

[Eddie]

Can get hooked up as long as they have McDonald's app.

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, you gotta have the Brad out.

[Eddie]

There's always something.

[Dale Hellistra]

How many Brads are in New Zealand? That's pretty safe bet.

[Eddie]

Trough of the month. It does not say.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, there's. Well, they don't have.

[Toledo]

There is a deadline to it. It's this. I think it's this week. Only you can get.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah. They can't keep that whole Brad thing alive for a long time. People will change their names.

[Eddie]

How much do you think that'll cost them?

[Dale Hellistra]

Not much. There's only like 17,000 people in all of New Zealand. Anyway.

[Eddie]

You visited there, right?

[Dale Hellistra]

No, I went to Australia.

[Eddie]

It's not the same.

[Dale Hellistra]

No Australia, no China, Japan. I'm sure you say the same. They're totally different people and nations. They don't like. They like each other. They. I guess they tolerate each other. Okay, Australia.

[Eddie]

Are they all same accent, right?

[Dale Hellistra]

No, it's a little different. And it's kind of funny. Like the difference is very funny. New Zealand accent is a little bit more optimistic sounding. And they do Eminem instead of Eminem. We love Imanim, don't you? I do. And they have this weird kind of ending on things. She's my favorite girl. Like their vowels are a little different. It's very, very close. But they. They screw up. Ease to the point where you start giggling at them. Australians treat them like a little brother. They're very mean to them.

[Eddie]

You watching the PGA Championship this weekend?

[Dale Hellistra]

This is it coming up this weekend.

[Eddie]

Or is it started today?

[Dale Hellistra]

Oh, no, I'll watch pieces and parts.

[Eddie]

What else? You got to do a lot. It's your wife's birthday. Take.

[Dale Hellistra]

Wait a minute. I will. But golf is a lot to do.

[Toledo]

Kevin Ray a couple times.

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, I got Kevin this weekend we're gonna do. We're gonna do some skeet shooting and then swimming. We got a lot to do. Spe probably. I hope so. That'd Be great. All right, Brady, close it up.

[Toledo]

All right, someone put together how much you're paying per song when you go see an artist for a concert. Most expensive was Lana Del Rey and her tour this year. She's charging an Average ticket is $240. She plays 15 songs for over 83 minutes, which means you're paying $16.02 per. Per song.

[Dale Hellistra]

Wow.

[Toledo]

Or 2.90 per minute.

[Eddie]

Who's that?

[Dale Hellistra]

She's some singer.

[Toledo]

Lady gaga. You're paying 13 bucks a song?

[Dale Hellistra]

That's pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

How much is Taylor really?

[Eddie]

Yeah. If.

[Dale Hellistra]

If look, if I. I'm not a lady on the top if I look. If Disturbed tonight. I don't know. The tickets are probably 125 average, I would guess. And they get. So you're spending six or seven bucks a song. If Dave Draymond said give me six bucks, I'll a play song for you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll kick.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's a good deal.

[Toledo]

Oasis will run you $13.60 per set.

[Dale Hellistra]

You don't know who that is either? No.

[Toledo]

Let's see if I got one. You.

[Dale Hellistra]

You were on a different planet for who's Oasis?

[Eddie]

What's their number one hit?

[Dale Hellistra]

Biggest band in all of Wonderwall. Wonderwall. And. Yeah, they had. They were the beatles of the 90s. For. For a blip.

[Toledo]

What about, you know, Oasis, Sakura? She can shake $10.52 per.

[Eddie]

You pay that for a shake?

[Dale Hellistra]

Yeah, I paid 10 bucks to watch that. This is Oasis. You know this. Come on, Dale. You probably singing at home. I can sing it with Dale. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Today going to be the day. Oh, okay. So I know this song.

[Dale Hellistra]

It's Oasis.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I know the name of the group.

[Dale Hellistra]

How do you not know Oasis? They were everywhere. In your heyday is going to be the.

[Eddie]

You don't play the on the station.

[Dale Hellistra]

I don't think we do.

[Eddie]

No.

[Dale Hellistra]

Probably did it one.

[Eddie]

It's good.

[Dale Hellistra]

That's right. Because it's too good. We. We stay away from that. All right, that's enough of you. Are you doing anything special? When's your show on the Robust network?

[Eddie]

We're on from 8 to 10. How about free?

[Dale Hellistra]

What's it called?

[Eddie]

It's called the main event on so go to anything.

[Dale Hellistra]

If I type in main event, I'm going to get a Barbra Streisand Ryan o' Neill movie. I know. It's the state of me, Maine. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Dale Hellistra]

Huge error. It has nothing to do with.

[Eddie]

Talk to your Dobsonites.

[Dale Hellistra]

You talk to the guy you do the show with and Go. Why is our show named after Maine?

[Eddie]

And why is the dude down the road now he'll call it because the.

[Toledo]

Other one was taken.

[Dale Hellistra]

Right? Then you just don't. Then you don't do it.

[Eddie]

We're overtime. I'm not getting paid for that.

[Dale Hellistra]

Robat tv Robust network dot com. The Roche Robat, Robad Robat with its.

[Eddie]

R, R, O, B A T T.

[Dale Hellistra]

Make it tougher on everybody. Everything's misspelled with this thing. All right. That's probably why he's not getting a phone call.

[Eddie]

We're going.

[Dale Hellistra]

Have a nice weekend. That's it. Enjoy. Disturbed tonight, Brett. Expect a full report in the morning. What? There's no what. I'll take a break, buddy. I'll do what I want. John Gordon's starting a mouth, all right? Gordon wants no break. We're done. The show's been over forever. Well, yeah, you know what? I'm going to go to 11 now.

[John Holmberg]

Barking.

[Dale Hellistra]

We'll see you guys tomorrow on the morning Sicknessella. It's not weird.

[Eddie]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Brady Bogan]

No membership fee.

[Dale Hellistra]

I've heard enough of this. Prestige Billiards has everything you need for your game room, from top of the line pool tables to billiard balls and everything in between. This includes game room furniture, air hockey dartboards, ping pong tables, arcade games and much more. Prestige Billiards is family owned and operated and is dedicated to providing the very best quality products and service. Prestige Billiards has five star ratings on Yelp and financing is available. Check them out at Prestige Billiards, AZ.com or in person at one of their three locations in Mesa, Scottsdale and now Glendale. Prestige Billiards delivers statewide. And tell him John Holberg sent you. What is daddication? The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariona. We call him Day Date for short. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge.

[Brady Bogan]

And there's this huge responsibility in making.

[Dale Hellistra]

Sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we work together. We did a good job. That's dedication. Find out [e-mail] brought to you by.

[F]

The U.S. department of Health and Human.

[Dale Hellistra]

Services and the Ad Council.