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John Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Brett
It's May, and Tombstone Tactical is turning up the heat with unbeatable deals on Sig and Springfield firearms all month long. Grab a 9mm Springfield starting at just $279.99, or take home a Sig pistol starting at only $369.99. Whether you're upgrading your carry gun or adding to the collection, now's the time to buy. But these prices won't last forever, so swing by Tombstone Tactical and save big before May ends. For full info and store location, hit up tombstone tactical.com it's John Holmer here.
Brady Bogan
Chilling away for my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. My friend just hit a bird in his truck. Well, actually the bird hit his truck, but it hit so hard that the windshield broke. New Vision Autoglass has a warehouse right here in town, so sometimes you can actually get the work done the same day you call. And not only that, you know they're going to give you up to $375 cash back. Go to new vision autoglass.com answer a few questions, find out how much you qualify. If you've got a broken windshield, at least get the feathers off and then call 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks, it's stick to little.
Brett
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Brady Bogan
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. There you go. A little daughter and Nickelback today in the same day is kind of gay. But it works. I liked it a lot. People spinning on that one. Daughter and Nickelback and I liked both of them. Damn it, we'll spin you that's for sure. People emailing about the left turn thing. It got him fired up. Like it got me fired up somebody and he's right. I don't know if it's UPS or FedEx. One of the two of them. I think it's UPS. They're not allowed to make left turns and I think it's because that their trucks have no door. I think if there's an accident, they literally get hit. So I think maybe there's something to that and they are more statistically. But if you want to go down statistics. A guy brought this up because I work for an insurance company. Statistically, this is the age group that causes the most wrecks. The intersections that cause the most wrecks. The left turns are high on the list of percentages of where wrecks happen. And then demographically races and genders that cause the most wrecks. If we're banning stuff to keep them. I'm not Asian women. I've got to go is basically what we're saying.
John Holmberg
Ashley emailed in asking how you you feel about. You know, because the only driver's test you take is when you're like 16.
Brady Bogan
I know. Maybe we should.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Toledo
It says UPS can turn left but they're instructed to minimize.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Don't do a lot of laughs. How I feel about like, I think it's the same as the driver's license with a star on it. I think if they did refresher driver's license tests it would be meaningless and easy just to collect another 25 bucks from everybody if they were serious. And you did a driving test every 12 years to renew your license and it was an actual like course. Like you had to actually drive and then go on the freeway and take a guy for a ride for an hour and just kind of have like a monitored thing. I think it would cost the state too much. I think it would end up costing too much money to have those. I would love it for them to try and re quiz you because yeah, the only time you get is when you first get your life.
Toledo
Even if it was like you know, getting your license then you're going to get 20 bucks.
Brady Bogan
Brady, we have, we have an argument in this country that is too expensive it for people to vote for free. You make them get a driver's license. There's too many poor people here. Like I don't understand how any of that works. They can't afford a license or an identification or like there's a whole bunch of stuff. So if we started to say yeah, I gotta pay to renew your license. There would be an uprising of keeping poor people down. And there'd be truth to it in this case because you make people less.
Toledo
Drivers on the road.
Brady Bogan
Right?
John Holmberg
I'm all about it.
Brady Bogan
The richest, best drivers ever.
John Holmberg
I'm okay with that.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I have no problem eliminating the poor either, Brett. But I'm just saying, in this particular case, I can see the argument.
John Holmberg
Just go knock another electric store over. You'll be fine.
Brady Bogan
Earn it. Gulp. You can have your driver's license. After a couple of giggles. No, I don't want to eliminate the poor from the roads, just generally from society. It's time for the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade Concepts. Shade it up. Heat's coming. Beautiful days here the last couple days. So getting your patio time in has been amazing. And if you don't have a place in your back patio that feels good because the sun nails it. All Pro Shade can fix that drop in your temperatures in certain areas that get too much sunlight at your house by up to 20 degrees with really good looking stuff that add value to your home as well. We haven't even talked about that. You get good stuff like that, you're basically adding on to your house with just a brand new roof over a section, giving you sort of indoor outdoor space. And all you had to do is call All Pro Shade and get that thing taken care of. You got a patio with a TV on it, but the sun hits it so you got glare. Can't watch it in the daytime. All Pro Shade fixes that as well. Simple stuff makes your house look better, adds a little value and gives you another part of your house. You can use a little more square footage if you want to look at it that way. Allproched.com and we thank them for the Brady Report. Brady reporter.
Toledo
Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it.
Brady Bogan
Hi.
Toledo
Happy National Barbecue Day.
Brady Bogan
See you.
John Holmberg
Why are you here?
Brady Bogan
See, I didn't know this is national show now. Adios, amigos.
Toledo
Over 15,000 people voted on popular barbecue food matchups. Each matchup. Yeah. You can only pick one. Burgers or dogs.
Brady Bogan
Sorry? Burgers or dogs, not barbecue.
Toledo
Yeah, we're starting off with this category.
Brady Bogan
Which would I want? I guess all depends on burgers.
Toledo
78 went with burgers. 22 with the dogs.
Brady Bogan
Where am I? At somebody's house. I'm at my house.
Toledo
Your house? Chicken or pulled pork? Pulled pork.
Brady Bogan
Chicken.
Toledo
Pork got 46. Chicken got 47.
Brady Bogan
Too risky. Pulled pork. I mean What? Yeah, too many people screw it up.
Toledo
Sausage. Sometimes it's really dry.
Brady Bogan
Chicken's easier, and, yeah, chicken can be better.
Toledo
Sausage or ribs?
Brady Bogan
I'll take sausage, too, because a lot of people screw up ribs.
Toledo
Ribs won 56% of the vote.
Brady Bogan
We're just assuming that it's going to be great. I'm saying if you go in and you say somebody's barbecue and ribs are Chick. First off, I'm at somebody's house.
Toledo
I'm not eating a salad or coleslaw.
Brett
Win said he'd give me a second chance at Little Miss Barbecue.
Brady Bogan
At Little Miss or Eric's. Oh, we went to Little Miss. You didn't go to Miss. That's right. I don't know if I'm. All right.
Brett
Wednesday is national barbecue day.
Brady Bogan
Let's go today.
John Holmberg
Calling a shot. Don't be a. Again, say, give me a second chance.
Brett
Nah, I just need a tall glass iced tea. Choke that fat down.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Yeah. You're not gonna do it. And he's not serious about it.
Toledo
Watermelon or pineapple?
Brady Bogan
Whoa. No. You don't make it that way. You're such a cuck. Your people hear a word you don't like, and you make it all bad for everybody. You shut up.
John Holmberg
I didn't say it.
Brady Bogan
I know, but you're reacting. He makes things bad that aren't bad. You laugh at things that sound like, of course. We all choose watermelon. Watermelon is delicious.
Toledo
69. All right. Watermelon, baked beans or cornbread? It's the last one.
Brady Bogan
Beans.
John Holmberg
See, you're.
Brady Bogan
You're asking me. My brain keeps.
Toledo
Cornbread got 58.
Brady Bogan
You keep going to things that I just assume everybody's gonna like. They're all gonna be great. So what's better? When it's great, who would you rather have?
Toledo
That's what. That's.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. And what would I rather have? But, like, when I think barbecues, I'm like, I hope the guy knows what he's doing, because he's gonna. But I don't eat at other people's homes when they cook. I was gonna say barbecues are different because there's fire involved, and I can see it.
Brett
But you've also got a good selection of people, you know, if they can cook or not.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. If I went to Brady's house and he had barbecue going, I think he overdoes a little bit as far as, like, there's too much going on. Like, it's as simple as put.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
I mean, you've got, like, stuff that's been cooking since Thursday 32nd A.D. he.
Brett
Has to do for Barbecue island in.
Brady Bogan
The middle of it. And in the middle of it, he's gotta appease whoever loaned him out all the stuff. Just want to say thanks to Midwestern Meats for the free supply.
Toledo
You like that? That was on a Green Mountain smoker. Exactly.
Brady Bogan
He's got food that's been in there since like February. And I'm like, this is a lot. Just put meat on the fire. I'm fine.
Toledo
Couple of baseless fun facts. Until the 1970s, insurance companies had vending machines at airport ticket counters which sold life insurance policy in the event of plane crash.
John Holmberg
Colonial Pen had this little.
Brady Bogan
That weird.
Toledo
We might have done this one before, but I. Mark Twain was born just after Haley's Comet was visible in 1835.
Brady Bogan
He died on the same day.
Toledo
He died 75 years later.
Brett
Wow.
Brady Bogan
My grandma wouldn't shut up about that. John, John. We're technically. We're related to as Samuel Clements. Mark. Mark Twain. Okay. What does that do for me?
Brett
You throw technically in it.
Brady Bogan
Well, because we didn't get any money. No, because I think we didn't get cash. The technically is were blood related. The financial side of it never really came through that famous for years and years and years. And you keep bragging about how you're related to him. Like why are you living in this shack?
Brett
And think about the financial aspect.
Toledo
Most of Steve Jobs wealth came from Disney, not Apple. When Disney acquired Pixar from him in 2006, he got 7.4% of Disney, which was about 4.4 billion. He only had about 2 billion, well over 2 billion from Apple at the time.
Brady Bogan
Hmm.
Toledo
AAA expects Memorial Day holiday to set a new record. They're expecting 45.1 million people to travel at least 50 miles from Memorial Day this year. That would break a record that stood for more than two decades.
Brady Bogan
You realize that if I drive to chandler and back 50 miles.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
That's nothing like we're all gonna do that.
Brett
Guess I'll have to go to Waddell.
Brady Bogan
Because that's that that's 2730 miles. I'm like, when I go to downtown Chandler, I was surprised that it's like 19 miles. And if I tool around a little bit in between, I'm hitting 50 miles pretty easy.
Toledo
We got a kindergarten student in trouble in Pennsylvania at the Greater Johnstown School District. This kindergartner brought in some jello cups.
Brett
Nice.
Toledo
Got a hold of them, gave him out to some fellow students.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, he's generous. He's a giver.
Toledo
They notified parents. They called ems, paramedics to come in to check out the kids that had a.
Brady Bogan
Wait a minute.
Toledo
Shots that just got a little bit of alcohol. They still haven't figured out where the kid got the jello cups.
Brady Bogan
I do. Check his house. The dude with the mullet that calls himself dad.
Toledo
They're investigating.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Hey, Byron, I was looking@mmpguns.com's website. You have everything, and the prices are incredible.
Byron
Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys, and more. The best part is if you see it on our our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.
John Holmberg
Wait, there's no back orders?
Byron
Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.
John Holmberg
Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP guns.com it sticks a little.
Brett
For FanDuel, America's number one sports book right now. With FanDuel you can make the smarter play with performance trends. You can get the latest stats right inside the app and see who's heating up. Get started today by visiting FanDuel.com KUPD and you'll get started with 200 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first $5 bet. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued is not withdrawable. Bonus bets that expire seven days after receipt restrictions apply. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342.
Brady Bogan
It's John Holberg here. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug hopkins.com TV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online doughins.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins singers. Morning sickness. He's not his real dad, but he's the mullet. Mom's currently Banging. And he made jello shots with the mom.
Brett
His mom works at the library.
John Holmberg
Right.
Toledo
This family donates a lot of school fundraisers.
Brady Bogan
Jello shots happen and then they. They look delicious in a fridge. Our friend Aaron Manion, for Steelers games will make black and gold jello shots for one of the games. And they sit in the fridge because she makes like a hundred of them. Oh, I don't know what it is, but it's like grapey. It's good, but they're not purple like she does dyes in them so they don't look like Ravens. Jello shots. They're good.
Toledo
In Winter Park, Florida, we got five men that allege the owner of this massage parlor sexually assaulted them.
Brett
Justin Tucker.
Toledo
Well, but it's, it's man on man action, by the way.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, Ravens, Justin Tucker. I put it past him.
Brett
Wouldn't it have made sense for him to just buy a franchise and then.
Brady Bogan
Like massage envy or something? What would have made more sense? Yeah, he's got. He's the greatest kicker of all time. He's got money. Maybe not. You might be right. He can't afford a. A store.
Brett
250 million. But he's got millions.
Brady Bogan
But what he can't afford is two discreet massage therapists that jerk him off now and again instead of 16.
Brett
And it's a write off.
Brady Bogan
Well, it's not a write off to get jerked off. That's what your ex wife got in trouble for.
Brett
The business is a write off.
Brady Bogan
Sure, if you buy your own. But that's not a write off to just, you know. And in football, it used to be a write off for taking care of your body. James Harrison was famous for spending a million dollars off of his. The taxes because he would spend a million dollars on his body every year.
Brett
But they cut that loophole.
Brady Bogan
They got rid of all write offs for anybody who makes money. Yeah.
Brett
Wow.
Brady Bogan
It's terrible. You can't write a thing off anymore.
Toledo
The accused is Ronnell Michael Gutierrez Galvis, the owner of the Romich Massage and Spa. Two of the alleged victims said they were down on the table, the one side he recalled. He looked at me and said after he tried to take my underpants off. And then he acted like it was my fault. He said, why didn't you tell me to stop? He continued to go on. He said, I told you three times. They said the sexual accident happened there. You can't even or to graphic to share. Wait, the other one says he. He asked me to take my shorts off.
Brady Bogan
The man on man.
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
And he's overpowering you and ripping your underpants off.
Toledo
Evidently, this guy's saying, I said no three times. But all this stuff happened.
Brady Bogan
I still got raped.
Toledo
There seems to be a. I hate to laugh.
Brady Bogan
The dude's trying to rip my underwear off. I'm getting up.
Toledo
No, please, no, don't.
Brady Bogan
First off, I already had a barrier in place. Second, if it took him three times to try to get it down, I'm putting up a pretty good fight. Third, yes. His nuts are in play.
Brett
Oh, yeah.
Brady Bogan
So here's the. Here's how you get out of. Man on man rape.
Toledo
Here we go. Here we go.
Brady Bogan
Never thought I'd say those words, but I feel like I should have that star float over my head. The more you know.
Brett
Exactly.
Brady Bogan
You allow it for a second.
Brett
Excuse me?
Brady Bogan
Act like you want it.
Brett
Oh, get him submissive.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. And then go, oh, let me have some of that. And try to do some oral and bite it off.
Brett
I don't think Brett's a fan of this technique.
Brady Bogan
Well, you're in a rape situation. What's wrong with me if I'm. If I can't overpower him? I gotta. I gotta kill him with kindness. I'm biting the tip off.
Toledo
How about this one, Brett? The one dude's on the table facing down, you know, start out on your stomach, and he noticed. He's looking down through the donut hole and sees the pants drop to the floor.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that's what I'm popping off the table right now.
Toledo
And then all of a sudden jumps on top of you.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, those tables aren't steady. Like, they're not sturdy enough for that.
Brett
If he's that quick, that I just happened to be.
Brady Bogan
My first words that lays on me. If I'm in a vulnerable prone position and I'm relaxed and I don't even see the pants come off, and the guy lays on me. The first words I'm thinking, and this is on the fly. Oh, finally. And I'm gonna let him start taking my pants off. And then I'm gon Working his crank for a second. Then I'm biting the tip off, and I'm punching him square in the face, and I'm leaving. Well, it's not gay if you bite the tip off.
Toledo
The good news, it's not that call.
Brady Bogan
You have problems with that? No, it's not.
John Holmberg
You still got a crank in your mouth.
Brady Bogan
But it's for safety's sake.
John Holmberg
Didn't tactical black teacher any.
Brady Bogan
Yes. Bite the dick off is a thing we do all the time, Jay. And I asked Kevin Ray about that.
John Holmberg
Next time he goes to class with you.
Brady Bogan
That's why we have Kevin come in. He's a. He's a legend. And Kevin's always asking questions like, what if I'm on an airplane and I'm sleeping in my mouth like this? Oh, okay. Let's test it out. No, that's how you get out of.
John Holmberg
The Man Cowboys games.
Brady Bogan
I'm not wrong here. Because this dude tried to keep his own pants on in three attempts, and the dude still got him had you turned the tables on him a little and acted like, this is fun. You bite the tip off. You make it vulnerable. You make. Oh, yeah. You act like this is something you. Oh, my God, I can't believe it. We're on the same page. And that dude's gonna relax like, oh, this isn't even account as rape. And you rip it off anyway. That's my suggestion for how to get out of a man, right?
Toledo
Well, Roman Massage and Spa is closed right now. And if you call the main number, you'll get a message says, gift cards will be honored later.
Brett
Not by that guy.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, right. Yeah, he's. Yeah, he's not even. Sorry about that. You get a discount for all the attempted rapes. Half off. Next one. Now let's get those panties down. Yeah, try and get my pants off right now. Brady, come here. Just try to get my three.
Brett
Hold on, let me film this.
Brady Bogan
If by the third time your nose isn't bleeding, I might as well just beg for it, man.
Brett
You're giving it three shots before his nose.
Brady Bogan
Well, that's what I'm saying. If there's a hat trick of me trying to get my pants off.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
And by the. By the fourth time, I'm still like, I still want this massage. I'm throwing elbows. I got all sorts there. I am.
Toledo
If you're laying down what you know, they're in their underwear, box of shorts. Whatever man.
Brett
Brady likes.
Toledo
Pretty easy to prevent, I think.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I'm with you.
Brett
Russian car fighting. I want to see this.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. In a room.
Brett
Drop your pants and see who gets your bloody first.
Brady Bogan
Like, Stephen Hawking would kick your ass if you tried to get him. What are you doing back there? And then next thing you know, that picket fence of teeth and bites the tip off. But if I got my underwear up the first time, like, never again. Stop it. And the guy starts to tug on him and go like, hey, hey, hey, I paid for a massage. Knock it off. And then the third time he does it, and plus We're. We're on that table. Yeah, I'm ruling them off.
Toledo
Ronnell, why are you taking your clothes off? That must be a pretty big dude. The other three guys said as they were on the table. Robin. All of a sudden, they noticed he's taking his clothes.
Brady Bogan
I might be Team Ronell on this one. I think he got some go signs. Yeah. Look, I'll tell you this. If you try to get my pants off and I'm giggling. Quit it. Like, there's.
John Holmberg
Isolate.
Brady Bogan
Stop being a rape.
Toledo
And now it's time for some science news. Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news.
Brady Bogan
We'll ask Craig Shoemaker. He was molested. He's got to have some advice.
Brett
He's coming in with Alan Hale's granddaughter.
Brady Bogan
Why? Because apparently she opened the door. Yes, the Skipper's granddaughter is Shoemaker's opener. And he leads with that, like, guess what? I'm bringing it. Lovemaster brought the Skipper's granddaughter. Is that real? Does she look like Alan Hale? Is this gonna be distracting?
Toledo
She does three hours.
Brett
Let me look at. I get it.
Brady Bogan
If I ask him a question that's uncomfortable, is she gonna go, what? I just got it. I'm not listening to that stuff. I don't hear bad puns anymore. Did I miss one?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
Okay, good. We'll. We'll express.
John Holmberg
She does. She does three hours.
Brady Bogan
Okay.
John Holmberg
See?
Brady Bogan
I told you. Toledo. You're catching it, Brady. You're to blame. You're the COVID You're the. You're the Wuhan facility.
Toledo
A study at the University of Calgary found our bodies give off a faint glow that disappears as soon as we die.
Brady Bogan
Cool.
Toledo
They found the living things, including leaves and trees. The same thing. A lot of it. You can't see with the naked eye. They're thinking. Some people say, oh, that's your soul or spirit. Escape your life force. Researchers say it's actually something we already knew about. The biophotons cool in our bodies. It's a byproduct of your. Of our metabolism.
Brady Bogan
All right. The Skipper's granddaughter picture on the tv. Not so bad. It made me think of the Skipper first, and then I put him in a dress, and I'm like, I don't want to see that. Yep, Everything's just fine. That's pretty. For three hours. All right, don't. Not all three of you.
John Holmberg
No, I'm just going off what I heard.
Toledo
Don't repeat it.
John Holmberg
Yeah, don't you even start.
Toledo
Yeah, no, their timing's forward.
Brady Bogan
That's like Being a pilot going, this is where the World Trade center used to be.
Brett
Brady on that one.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, yeah, it's a little bit. Yeah, Brady. Brady's reprimanding you.
Toledo
Scientists in Germany blasted people's skin cells with 5G radiation just to see what it did. They hit them with 10 times the legal limit for two days and found nothing happened.
Brady Bogan
I get a quick timeout?
Toledo
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
What are the Germans doing this for? They're up to something.
Brett
Thank you.
Brady Bogan
We can't trust them for using human experiments with.
Toledo
They said it didn't affect the cell's DNA. They say it's more evidence that 5G technology is probably safe.
Brady Bogan
We have tested a very specific group of people.
Brett
How?
Brady Bogan
Well, we shot all sorts of 5G rays into their skins. Who were the people you chose? That's none of your business. Anywhere. They are out in the field working right now and everything seems to be okay. Or as they say, kosher.
Brett
Many of them were tattooed.
Brady Bogan
No Toledo. Let me handle the jokes. You're gonna get everybody in trouble. Shut up. Jesus Christ. What's with him today? Watermelon or. Oh, here we go.
Toledo
Whoa.
Brady Bogan
On the morning sickness.
Toledo
Upd.
John Holmberg
We're here with Byron from M and P Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to M and P Guns?
Byron
The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo, ink, 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.
John Holmberg
Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
Byron
That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com It's John Holmberg here.
Brady Bogan
Seeing clear as a bell. Thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Good vision. It's imperative all the pro ball players in town trust doct. Jay Schwartz. And so do I. My experience, I went from seeing 2400 back to close to 2020 after my complimentary consultation with Dr. Schwartz. He put a plan together and got me seeing beautifully, clearly and vividly. You can do it too. Get rid of those glasses or contacts and get your consultation with Dr. Schwartz now. Go to schwartzlaser.com or call 480-483-Eyes, Suns and Diamondbacks. Trust them. So should you go with the pros? Go. Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Toledo
China and Russia are teaming up to build a nuclear power plant on the moon. With plans to have the lunar base by done by 2036.
Brett
These movies are going to be great. Nuclear power on the moon.
Toledo
That's your science news.
Brady Bogan
Just introduce nukes to the moon before people. Yeah. I don't like that. Germans are. Well. We could just test it on people. We're sort of known for that. Maybe not. Who's going to know? What if we come up with something great? Yes. Fires a 5G laser into human beings. I don't like that accent. Coming up with new tests.
Toledo
Two days of 10 times the amount. Like.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Toledo
Nothing.
Brady Bogan
Here's what I want.
Toledo
Are they gonna check back with these people?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. And this will. This will work.
Toledo
Guy comes in with antlers.
Brady Bogan
Phone rings. Bonjour. We have an idea. We need your guys's help. Oh. But of course. Germany. You want to take over our land again and do experiments on people? Precisely. That's exactly what we do with Germany. It's been a long time. They. Yeah. They get a little uppity and they start trying to take over the world. Who allowed them? 5G laser shooting technology. What if it hits people? Germans always ask that. That's their job. Here's a new laser. What would it do to people? Take that away from the Germans for a second.
Toledo
There's a man in Los Angeles. He came home last Saturday night after being away for a couple of days. And when he put the key in the door he looked inside and saw his place just ransacked. Looked closer. He found a naked man sleeping in his bed. He called the cops. They hauled the guy off to jail. But the homeowner continued to find strange things inside. Intruder? Apparently. 80 box of ice cream sandwiches. Cooked some veggie burgers, Went through all the chewing gum and ate a box of 60 pieces. And then left the big wad the size of a softball.
Brady Bogan
God.
Toledo
The nightstand.
Brady Bogan
So it was multiple chews. Hopefully. Or the dude's got Mr. Ed's mouth.
Toledo
Intruder also killed a possum on the back patio by using a statue.
Brady Bogan
How long was he not home?
Toledo
A couple of days.
Brady Bogan
Okay.
Toledo
Homeowner also found little baggies around that were probably some kind of drugs. The police are still investigating.
John Holmberg
Time to move.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady Bogan
I think I'm getting out of there. That's getting it done though. In two days. That guy killed a possum. That's actually helping out a little Bit. Get a possum, hang around your porch.
Toledo
Club him with a statue.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I'm not saying his method was necessarily great, but John, I gotta say.
Brett
And this is not a complaint, though it may sound like one.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Brett
This show has turned so gay in so many times, in so many ways since all of my 20 plus years of listening. It's ridiculous, but also somehow hilarious.
Brady Bogan
Biting the dudes tip off isn't gay. It's the opposite of gay. Ask a gay guy, if I bit it off, is it still gay? Like no, it's a crime. Would you be proud of a woman who bit it off and you wouldn't say, oh, she ruined heterosexuality.
Toledo
Back on Friday, March 21, 83 year old man crashed his car into Webster bank in Clarkstown, New York. It happened at 2pm at the time he said he thought the vehicle was in park, accidentally hit the gas pedal, drove through the glass window. Thankfully no one was hurt. Six weeks later, on Friday, May 2, same dude smashed through the window again. At 2pm Deja vu over again.
Brady Bogan
There's a glitch in the matrix.
Toledo
I think it's time for him to stop driving. But there's a picture of both hits.
Brady Bogan
Actually putting them right through walls. Pop Pop. Can't have a license anymore.
Toledo
In White Marsh. White Marsh Township, Pennsylvania. The City Council has decided to shut down the 4th of July parade and fireworks because they feel they can't make the town safe enough. They're worried about someone driving a car.
Brady Bogan
Oh, no kidding.
Toledo
Yeah, terrorism. It'll be interesting.
Brady Bogan
Whereas they're saying this is White Township.
Toledo
White Marsh Township, Pennsylvania.
Brady Bogan
White Township. And what's going to go wrong there?
Toledo
They don't feel they have enough.
Brady Bogan
There's some bland food.
John Holmberg
Yes.
Brady Bogan
Isn't White Township. Yeah, that was the name of Gilbert years ago.
Toledo
And they're basically citing that what happened in on New Year's Day in New Orleans.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, they're just a little bit triggered by that.
Toledo
Not worth it.
Brady Bogan
So they got a couple of. So basically it's a small enough town where they see the one dude and they're like, hadn't done anything wrong yet. But let's not give him any ideas. Yeah, let's not give him a target.
Toledo
If he gets in his bro Dozer.
Brady Bogan
Right. My guess is they're saying there's no parade. This guy's gonna be like shooting. And then like last minute I'm gonna have the parade. Don't tell him. And then he won't show up in that last second. Ah, you guys fooled me. All right. Get these videos out fast.
Toledo
All right, we got. The first one is a little parkour.
Brady Bogan
For Christ's sake. There you go. All right. Parkour from the Middle east, because there's Middle Eastern.
Brett
Part of this is a little suspect.
Brady Bogan
Watch it is. All right. Jumps off the top of a building. 100. Stop it. Why do you do this?
Toledo
I bought into it.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, yeah.
Brett
Even the car at the bottom is fake.
Brady Bogan
Can we get, like, a little time to where you guys can talk about this a little?
Brett
Just because he.
Brady Bogan
He looks like he's lured by the writing long.
Brett
Yeah, he gets lured by the writing.
Brady Bogan
It's like.
John Holmberg
What does that say? I mean.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, there's a heart emoji.
Toledo
You'll love this, my friend.
Brady Bogan
The dude is the size of the entire floor here. Jumping off of. All right, you're an idiot.
Brett
The car window blew out before anything hit it.
John Holmberg
Oh, that's true.
Brady Bogan
Look how big he is now. He's gigantic all of a sudden. It's some of the worst stuff I've ever seen.
John Holmberg
Oh, no. He was on the ground, and then it blew.
Brady Bogan
And I've seen more realistic things. When you draw a stick figure on the bottom of corner pages that you can turn and make him run.
Brett
Look at the still shot.
Brady Bogan
He's 15ft tall.
Toledo
He got back up. He hit it again.
John Holmberg
Is jumping off the building.
Brady Bogan
Exactly. Exactly. We need a filter for you. You got to be able to.
Toledo
This one's not.
Brett
All right, I'll start filtering.
Brady Bogan
Filter them. This is on you more than him, okay?
Brett
He get chippy the last time I.
Toledo
He got chippy with an ostrich.
Brady Bogan
Okay.
Brett
I love this one because, remember, we had a guy on the show who thought he could take down an ostrich.
Brady Bogan
This isn't it. Like, this is at Medieval Times. Where are we? We're in. We're on top of it. The guy throwing a. Some Middle Eastern woman in a hijab. Yeah. Chucked a cup at an ostrich.
John Holmberg
Awesome.
Brady Bogan
Ostrich chasing her. Hey, look, the ostriches. Hey, look, those ostriches, they live under Sharia law there. The ostriches, they know the ostriches are in on it. I saw your face.
Brett
You're going down.
Brady Bogan
I watched your face and I saw your ankles. Ostrich surreal law is in place. That's a male ostrich. You don't do that in that country, man. If it's got a dick, it's more important than you, lady. How dare you chuck your chick fil a cup at that. Where are. Where was that?
Brett
Like you said you announced it.
Brady Bogan
I know the region. I think. I think that might have been the building that Trump just had a meeting in. Really? Things are going great here in Qatar. I understand. An ostrich just killed a woman on the roof.
Brett
There were a bunch of golden vans there.
Brady Bogan
Those are beautiful golden vans. It's my entourage. My gutter entourage. That lady just throw a cup at that ostrich. Kill her.
Toledo
There's a protester.
Brady Bogan
Immediately. Kill her. She's a Hamas supporter, Brady. Hamas can have it. We've sicked the ostriches on her. Release the ostrich. All right, Brett, it's Friday. Go get him.
John Holmberg
Only got one. Oh, the boys kind of outdid themselves last week, so only having one, but no, that's not too bad.
Brady Bogan
Okay. All right. It's somebody watching Saw. They're on tv. There's the saw. Guy is on there. This is going to be bad because there's editing. Oh, she's got a. Oh, no, she's got a funnel on her glasses. You don't know, baby, but. And goggles. And the funnel goes into the goggles while she's watching Saw. She's in a bra. She's cute. And then she asks for more of something. Here's a man with a relatively small penis, and he starts to pee into the funnel and fill her goggles. She's got her eyes open, and he's peeing in her goggles.
F
Oh, that's nice.
Brady Bogan
She's got the goggles on. She's looking through the man's urine. And now this guy's had. He's well hydrated. He's now peeing all over her face. Now it's disappeared into her mouth. The goggles are still filled with urine. And now he's behind her, and he's doing behind her things. And she's still got goggles.
Toledo
Video from Cassie taking the stand at the.
Brady Bogan
This is a freak off. This dude is laying down. And now she's riding on those pee goggles.
Brett
Is there a negotiation before a scene like that?
Brady Bogan
Like, no pee goggles.
Brett
Here's what we want to do. What's your price?
Brady Bogan
Wow. All right. Yeah, that's enough. You don't have anything else?
John Holmberg
No, I'm good.
Brady Bogan
All right, it's 831. There you go. That's your Brady report. Everybody, pee goggles. There's people out there doing it. Let's put these goggles on. We'll retrofit it with a cool little funnel. I'll pee in the funnel. Fill the goggles. Okay. Go on. Wow. I didn't think you'd be in it at this point. I thought you'd be out, but okay.
Brett
You'Ll open your eyes.
Brady Bogan
So then we'll just do all sorts of sex stuff while you wear the goggles of pee. Okay, what else? You're really a lot more cooperative than I expected.
Toledo
She was okay the first time.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, like what? Have they tried that? She said no to? That's gross. Really? You okay? Didn't expect boundaries.
Toledo
I can't stump her.
Brady Bogan
This chick will do anything. What if. Oh, my God. Just hear her out, dude. What if we shot 5G lasers into her skin? All right, you back up. I'm into it. She'll do anything. There's your Brady report, everybody. It's 98 KUPD.
Brett
It's not weird.
Toledo
It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.
Brady Bogan
I have heard enough of this. Prestige Billiards has everything you need for your game room, from top of the line pool tables to billiard balls and everything in between. This includes game room furniture, air hockey dartboards, ping pong tables, arcade games and much more. Prestige Billiards is family owned and operated and is dedicated to providing the very best quality products and service. Prestige Billiards has five star ratings on Yelp and financing is available. Check them out@prestigebilliardsaz.com or in person at one of their three locations in Mesa, Scottsdale and now Glendale. Prestige Billiards delivers statewide. And tell them John Holberg sent you. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness and it's time once again for this week's pick of the litter, brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters. Go to turfmonsters. A dot com. They help us out at Loster Home Pet Rescue. We appreciate them greatly. This week's Peck of the litter is a project. It's Jep. He's a special project for that special someone. Jeff is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees. Right now, it's this week. Pick of the litter. It's Jeff. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com what is daddication?
F
The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariona. We call him Dae Date for short. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge, and there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go. We worked together. We did a good job.
Byron
That's Dadication.
Brady Bogan
Find out more@fatherhood.gov brought to you by.
Byron
The U.S. department of Health and Human.
Brady Bogan
Services and the Ad Council.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Summary: May 16, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
The episode commences with host John Holmberg welcoming listeners to "Holmberg's Morning Sickness." The initial moments feature brief advertisements and sponsor mentions, setting the stage for the day's topics.
Brady Bogen initiates a heated discussion on driving safety, particularly focusing on the controversy surrounding left turns and new driver's license testing measures.
The conversation evolves into a debate on the necessity and feasibility of periodic driver's license renewals:
Co-host Dick Toledo adds insights into the demographic factors influencing road safety:
The hosts express skepticism about the practicality and financial implications of enforcing stricter driving regulations.
Celebrating National BBQ Day, the hosts engage in a lively debate over preferred barbecue items, incorporating listener votes to determine popular choices.
Key discussions include:
Brady shares his preferences, often favoring items he believes are less likely to be poorly executed:
The segment highlights diverse tastes and the subjective nature of barbecue preferences.
A serious segment addresses allegations against Ronnell Michael Gutierrez Galvis, the owner of Romich Massage and Spa in Winter Park, Florida, accused of sexually assaulting three men.
Detailed accounts from the alleged victims describe attempts to resist unwanted advances:
The discussion includes a debate among hosts on appropriate responses to such assault situations, blending humor with the gravity of the topic, which may be controversial to some listeners.
The episode transitions to science news, covering two main topics:
Brady discusses a German study where skin cells were exposed to 5G radiation exceeding legal limits.
The hosts express distrust in the motives behind such experiments, speculating on ulterior motives:
Dick Toledo shares findings from the University of Calgary regarding biophotons, the faint glow emitted by living organisms.
The research suggests that this glow is a byproduct of metabolism rather than an indication of a soul or spirit, providing a scientific perspective on this phenomenon.
An intriguing story is recounted about an intruder who not only slept in a homeowner's bed but also engaged in peculiar behaviors, such as consuming vast quantities of ice cream sandwiches and veggies.
The narrative concludes with the homeowner finding unusual items and the police continuing their investigation, leaving room for speculation about the intruder's motives.
The hosts touch upon a futuristic initiative where China and Russia are collaborating to build a nuclear power plant on the Moon, aiming for a lunar base by 2036.
This segment underscores the ongoing advancements in space exploration and international cooperation in extraterrestrial projects.
Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse humor and playful banter, particularly during the National BBQ Day segment and while discussing the massage parlor accusations. These moments aim to keep the tone engaging and entertaining, reflecting the show's intent to "entertain, question, and disturb" as described in its premise.
As the episode wraps up, John Holmberg acknowledges sponsors and promotes upcoming segments, maintaining the show's blend of information and entertainment.
Notable Quotes:
Brady Bogen on Driving Safety (02:54): "Statistically, left turns are high on the list of where wrecks happen... If we're banning stuff to keep them, I'm not Asian women."
Dick Toledo on BBQ Preferences (05:52): "Over 15,000 people voted on popular barbecue food matchups..."
Brady Bogen on 5G Experiments (23:33): "We can't trust them for using human experiments..."
Dick Toledo on Biophotons (22:05): "A study at the University of Calgary found our bodies give off a faint glow that disappears as soon as we die."
Conclusion:
This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona" offers a mix of serious discussions on societal issues like driving safety and sexual assault allegations, alongside lighter topics such as National BBQ Day preferences and scientific breakthroughs. The dynamic interplay between the hosts, marked by both debate and humor, provides a comprehensive and engaging listening experience for the audience.