05-19-25 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: May 19, 2025 Episode Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD delivers its signature blend of entertainment, humor, and candid discussions to its Arizona audience. In the May 19, 2025 episode, hosts John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo delve into a variety of topics ranging from local traffic incidents to controversial health discussions and nostalgic personal anecdotes.

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1. Local Traffic Incident and Morning Commute

The episode kicks off with a briefing on a significant accident on the I-10 at 27th Avenue heading east. John Holmberg updates listeners on the situation:

John Holmberg [05:45]: "There's a terrible accident on the I-10 heading east from 27th Avenue. Both Channel 3 and Channel 12 report crime tape, indicating a likely fatality. The highway is shut down, causing major delays for commuters from the West Valley."

The hosts discuss the impact on morning traffic, offering listeners advice on managing the delay, such as calling in to work or enjoying a relaxed breakfast at home or local restaurants.

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2. Health and Wellness Discussions

A substantial portion of the episode revolves around men's health, particularly prostate exams. Bret Vesely shares his skepticism and humorous takes on the necessity and discomfort associated with prostate screenings:

Bret Vesely [13:35]: "I'm not going for any of it. If I have it right now, I'm dumb and I'm happy and I'm good and I'm moving right along."

The conversation highlights common apprehensions men face regarding medical procedures, intertwined with the hosts' characteristic humor.

3. President Biden's Health Announcement

The hosts address recent news about President Joe Biden's prostate cancer diagnosis, blending factual information with satirical commentary:

Bret Vesely [07:02]: "Man, they interrupted TV shows to tell us that Biden's got prostate cancer. It's a Gleason rating of 9, which is really high on the scale. It's aggressive and has metastasized into other areas."

The discussion criticizes the timing of the announcement, suggesting it was strategically placed following the release of controversial audio tapes to divert public attention.

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4. Mexican Navy Ship Accident

A humorous yet critical take is given on a Mexican Navy ship's accidental collision with the Brooklyn Bridge:

Bret Vesely [34:10]: "It looked like something straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean. Sailboats hitting the Brooklyn Bridge? This is ridiculous."

The hosts mock the notion of the Mexican Navy operating such vessels and speculate on the incompetence that led to the mishap, blending absurdity with satire.

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5. Nostalgia and Personal Anecdotes

Reflecting on past experiences, the hosts reminisce about affordable meals from youth, specifically the infamous 10-cent wings at Native New Yorker:

Bret Vesely [50:10]: "I remember once getting 18 wings for just 30 cents. It was like heaven for us kids."

These stories serve as a bridge between personal memories and broader social commentary, highlighting changes in pricing and quality over the years.

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6. Entertainment and Community Promotion

Towards the episode's end, John Holmberg promotes local comedy shows and entertainment events in the Valley, encouraging listeners to engage with the community's vibrant arts scene.

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7. Closing Remarks and Promotions

The episode wraps up with various promotions for local businesses and services, including home solutions, automotive services, and defense training programs. While these segments are integral to the show's structure, they predominantly serve as sponsor messages interspersed throughout the content.

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [05:45]: "There's a terrible accident on the I-10 heading east from 27th Avenue. Both Channel 3 and Channel 12 report crime tape, indicating a likely fatality."
• Bret Vesely [07:02]: "Man, they interrupted TV shows to tell us that Biden's got prostate cancer."
• Bret Vesely [34:10]: "It looked like something straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean. Sailboats hitting the Brooklyn Bridge? This is ridiculous."
• Bret Vesely [50:10]: "I remember once getting 18 wings for just 30 cents. It was like heaven for us kids."

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Conclusion: The May 19 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness exemplifies the show's ability to blend humor with current events and personal stories. While some discussions tread into sensitive territories, the hosts maintain a light-hearted and irreverent tone, aiming to entertain and engage their Arizona listeners.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett Vesely]

To the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal. Pork Chili Verde, Chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best Breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork Chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving Southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my.

[Brett Vesely]

Friend Wayne from AMCO. And Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?

[John Holmberg]

No, Larry, if you have an extended.

[Brett Vesely]

Service contract, you can use it at any amco. It's nice to have other options. I'll say Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles and faster service. Amco does more than just transmissions, right? Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first. Just Google Amco for your nearest loc. That's Amco Double A, MCO Transmissions and a whole lot more.

[John Holmberg]

It's Brett Vesely from Holmberg's Morning Sickness and I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now, Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all. Look when it comes to H vac, plumbing or electrical issues, they're certified professional technicians. Deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate right Now Patrick Riley is a special for you guys. $1500 off a new AC system install plus up to $1100 in additional rebates. They offer same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out [e-mail] It's John Holberg.

[Brett Vesely]

Here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Twenty years ago, the Core Institute began and it's a better way of caring for people and there are a lot of people who are coping with pain in their bodies every day. The Core Institute specializes in helping the pain disappear. And I speak from experience. Here I am now living pain free and enjoying all the things I absolutely love to do. So if you're living in pain, you don't have to anymore. The Core Institute has been here for 20 years.

[Brady]

Years.

[Brett Vesely]

And are going to be here for a lot longer than that. And you can stop living with pain and start saying yes to all the things you love to do. Go to the Core Institute.com still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It sucks right now. West Valley. We'll tell you in a second. It's 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's big dick Toledo. This is the morning sickness. Yeah, just a quick start. I'm just reading the, the local stuff. There's a terrible accident on the I10 27th Avenue heading east. So if you're coming in from the West Valley, I'm just, I don't normally do traffic unless they shut down the main vein. That's the big boy. You're not getting in for a while. They're closing it now. Both and evidently I just read on the Channel 3 and Channel 12, both of them said they got like crime tape up. Oh. So that means it was a fatality most likely or assumed going to be a fatality. And they're investigating. So that's going to be shut down for a minute. Gotta hand it to those people though. They do a great job getting that stuff done as fast as they can. But you got to look into those things. So if you live in the West Valley, here's your, your, your tip from your friendly morning earbud. Yes, we need to embrace it. We need to make it ours before they ruin it. But the earbuds tell you here, if you live in the East Valley and you got to take the i10 they normally do, you've got hours and hours to kill this morning. You don't even have to try to go to work. Call in, tell them one of the hours I'm stuck in this mess. I'm right behind. I can't get out. I'm in the middle lane. I'm trapped. And I was going to the gym or something. I got up really early. I'm going to be stuck in this for hours. All right, well, understand. And then just, you know, lounge around your house, have a couple, you know, extra cups of coffee. Do whatever it is you do. Just take advantage of breakfast. Yeah. Go out for breakfast. Pop over. Yeah. Take yourself out. Treat yourself.

[John Holmberg]

Just be careful you don't hear a sir, would you like another Moons over Miami or anything?

[Brett Vesely]

Get two of them. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta be careful in the background.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, oh. On the phone call. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought you meant you're gonna be careful like you're warning, Brady. Be careful. Don't order two of them.

[Brady]

Don't call in when you're at the restaurant.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah. You call in. In the car, honk like, scream like. Son of a. Yeah, exactly. Have some road rage. Yeah, sorry about that, boss. I. I'm in a disaster. You know, Johnson, you get here when you can. I know that's a tough accident. And kind of follow the apps on the news. It's easier now than it's ever been to get out of a couple hours of work and lie about it and just go home and say, you're gonna work from home. Like our sales staff does. They don't do anything. Ever try to get ahold of one of them. I think I called Jen the other day and I said, you working today? Oh, I work from home on whenever. It was Thursdays, I'm like, oh, like, are you there now? No, I'm at the park. She was out. She's doing something else. Just having a nice day.

[Brady]

Multitasking.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. It's not working from home. That's going to the park. I don't blame him. That's what I'd be doing, too. So, yeah, take advantage of this if it's not you. And don't rush around. I hate when traffic people say, try these alternate routes. Those are worse than the actual wreck because everybody's got to use them. Stay home. That's the alternate route. Don't go. How would you break your neck to try to get around somebody else's problem? Your boss is so such an asshole. Then nothing you can do about it. I know. I'll get emails from people. Can't. I got to get there on time. Or get four. All right. Well, then you don't listen. But the people who can take advantage of this. It.

[Brady]

We should do that one morning as we got caught in traffic and just do it over the phone, call in the whole show, bring up the board. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Better figure it out. You better have a real traffic problem, because if you're caught lying about it, you're screwed. Big weekend. Biden got his diagnosis of cancer. Man, they interrupted TV shows, and there was all sorts of stuff that was like an hour and a half long thing to tell us that Biden's got prostate cancer. And then I learned what a Gleason rating is. I never knew what that was. He's got a 9, which I guess is really high on a scale of one to ten. Nine is pretty good. And so he's got a nine on that. Super aggressive. And then they started to.

[Brady]

It's in the bones.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, it's. Yeah, it's metastasized into other things. And they say that's where it's aggressive, and that's where it gets nasty. It's not so much the colon or the prostate cancer that gets you bad in that. It's the fact that it's left. It's left its little origin. So now they got to seek it. And I learned that yesterday, too, is that once it leaves that the medicines and the. It's hard to target when it's not in one spot. So it's not good. But then they wasted 30 minutes of my life trying to tell me how he could have gotten this. It's 82 years old. Whatever you catch after 77 is just a product of being 77.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Always got lung cancer. Should have never smoked. Like, he. He made it like that. You did it like, you got to 77. 78, smoking. Pretty good job. I think if life expectancy, 77. And you treated yourself like garbage, and you hit it, everything's gravy after that. You didn't catch anything because of your behavior. You made it. If you get 77, all the crap you did before, you survived it all. Good work. And then everything after that, if they try to blame. And then I watched another thing where they're trying to say that Trump's gonna get Parkinson's. You know, it was, like, immediately turned into this. Like, oh, yeah, Biden's sick. Well, Trump's old, too. And some lady said Trump runs a risk of having Parkinson's because he loves golf. And I watched 10 minutes on this. Like, he's. Look, he's 80. Also, the statistics of people with Parkinson's living near or being on golf courses a lot is so flawed. Because all old senior communities. You live on a golf course.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

So they're all catching something. They're all more likely to get Parkinson's. Yeah. Most 18 year olds don't live on a golf course. That's what I'm saying. Because think about it, the statistics are if you live near a golf course or you're on a golf course a lot, you have a, you have a higher, the higher rate of people with Parkinson's are attached to people who live on golf course. Who lives on golf courses? 80 year olds. So of course Parkinson's rates are higher than the dorms at ASU because 55 plus communities. Yeah, they all are on golf courses. And that's when you start getting Parkinson's and nobody 20 has Parkinson's. So they're not living on golf courses. They're like, Trump's gonna get it because he loves golf so much and he lives on a golf course. I'm like that, no, he's 80, he's gonna get it because he's 80.

[John Holmberg]

You get Parkinson's from grass.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, what this lady was reaching. And then I saw two stories on it this morning on print, but I saw it on the yesterday and she was dead serious. And it's like an 80%, like population issue. So if you've got Parkinson's and live on a golf course, you're probably in your 60s or 70s.

[Brady]

Or if you like to golf, don't live on the course.

[Brett Vesely]

No, stop. It has nothing to do with golf courses. It's the dumbest thing. It's like saying truck drivers are more likely to be in car accidents than people without driver's licenses. Yeah. Most people who live on a golf course are old. Most of them. Not all of them. Most of them. Parkinson's gets most people who are elderly. It attacks the elderly more than it does the young. Yes, there are people with Parkinson's who are younger, but for the most part you're older. So of course older people get Parkinson's. More and more older people live on golf courses. So she was like happy to jump off the Biden's got cancer thing onto, well, Trump's gonna get Parkinson's. And like, she wanted him to have a disease too. It can't even be political or non apolitical about somebody having cancer before you start striking the other guy with all sorts of stuff. And even the host was like, well, President Trump just had a thorough health exam and said he was very healthy, actually, extremely Healthy for his age. Yeah. But he lives on a golf course, so he's. He's gonna get Parkinson's. I'm like, this lady's nuts. Like, get back to the murder show I was watching. I get it. Biden's not gonna make it. Guess what? I'm not a doctor. I could have fandueled this one. Something was gonna grab him in the next little bit. He wasn't doing so great the last few years. He was due now. I wouldn't have guessed this, but something was gonna get him. And people acted shocked. I'm like, an 82 year old man's got some sort of disease. Wait, people are crying. You're taken aback by this. Yeah, he was gonna get something.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm trying to play conspiracy here, but doesn't he get. Doesn't he get regular physicals and everything else? This is the first time they've ever found it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Second, it also happens to be two days after the big release of the right audio tapes that now you can't make fun of them and stuff. So it took it. It's a thing. I definitely think the timing was on the heels of these. I don't know if you've heard those audio tapes of him. Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

No, I haven't heard.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God. He's. There's audio tapes of his investigation from 2023 when they were talking about the. The documents and top secret files that were at his house. And they did that big investigation, heard those tapes. Give yourself. Give yourself a few minutes to just cringe because it is tough. It is an old man trying to remember stuff. And I mean, you start feeling sorry for him until you realize this dude's president and wanted to keep being president like it was. It's scary bad how just completely gone he is. And so that happened on Thursday and Friday and they were. Axios released all those tapes on Friday and gave the news, and they did it on Friday and hopes that it would kind of, I think, go away. It's bad. And so then Sunday, he gets diagnosed with. Or at least announced that he's not in great shape.

[Brady]

I heard that, you know, they can treat it with testosterone.

[Brett Vesely]

What? Hormone therapy. That's how they. But if it's isolated, if it's in your bones, it gets tougher. Prostate cancer's got several treatments they know work so long as it stays there, but anything when it starts drifting out. And evidently nine on a Gleason scale basically means it's super aggressive. So the chances of it running other places are pretty high. Also, he's 82 and he wasn't in great shape to begin with. But you're right, they weren't fingering him, like, pretty regularly and finding out about the prostate, like, they announced that they did. Yeah, they said that they just report.

[Brady]

Throughout his tenure that it was. That he was healthy and.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it was good. They kept saying it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And then you wonder like, yeah, but prostate cancer, like, just. I know it can pop up, but does it pop up, like, super aggressive and it's in the bones and it's like, all right, Brett's right. He gets, like, a little bit better medical treatment than most of us.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Or more consistent.

[John Holmberg]

He's not going to urgent care.

[Brett Vesely]

No. He doesn't have to do the five year. Five year waits for fingerings, which, by the way, I am in singular. Singular protest stuff. Yes, I know it's bad for me, but I am the Don Quixote of prostate exams. I believe that in all of that. I've said this for years. Medical technology has advanced to places that I can go online and get a pretty accurate diagnosis. They can blood test and find just about anything. You still have to finger me to find that there isn't a tested ultrasound of some sort that can. That's a Dr. Power move. They still want to finger us. Just to let us know. Eh? We got you by the balls here, and we're going to stuff one. We're going to bang you in the ass here in a little bit just to let you know. There's got to be a better way than that intrusive nightmare. You can find out all sorts of stuff through technology nowadays with just a little pin prick of something. You don't have to have some dude fingering me when he puts the glove on. That's pretty 1800s if you ask me. Besides that, I'm anti finding it. I know people are like, if you find it early, that's fine. I don't mind dying. I don't want to get fingered a lot. And once they find something wrong in there, they got to go back in over and over and over again. And that's just not how I want to spend my weekends.

[Brady]

You're going for a Gleason 10.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not going for any of it. If I have it right now, I'm dumb and I'm happy and I'm good and I'm moving right along. And again, I've lived a nice run here. I got no. I've seen what age does to people. It ain't pretty. You Think this face is going to get better with time. I'm not. I'm just going to keep looking in the mirror and be disappointed. It's a blessing if my butt falls out. So many people out there would be like, finally, homework's dying. It would thrill 80% of the city. It's look, it's a win, win for everybody. And that's why I'm not checking it out. And I'll get emails where you get checked. You get caught early. I'm like, that's fine. They got to go to the doctor and get butt fingered like six times a week. And then people digging around in there with forks and knives and I'm not interested in that. I got no kids. That's fine. Part of that is like, what do I have? You know, we're good. People are taken care of with insurance and the life insurance and policies and all sorts of things. Everybody will be. The world will be better off, Brady. If my butt falls out. But in the meantime, I'm fine. As far as I know. And by the way, it's not from a lack of. I do my own checking. Feels the same as it always has. I've been in there washing. I'm like, there you are, you little bastard. You feel the same. No puffs, no nothing. If some stranger can go in there and feel it for the first time and know what he's looking for, a guy like me, who's been hands on with that guy for a long time, knows where exactly that little almond lives. You're good. We're all good here.

[Brady]

The stream is the most important thing. You're streaming fine.

[Brett Vesely]

I think so. Yeah. I pee hard enough to bounce off of the urinal back onto my knees when I wear shorts at a, at a Suns game. So pretty sure I'm powerfully strong on that. I just got no interest in doctor's visits taking up my life. I know two or three people that had something on their colon or whatever. They were going in there for polyps or something. Yeah, they're in there four or five times. Dudes digging around in their ass and I had to pick them up twice. What's up? Like, is this what's up? Is this worth it? I'm not even worried about the gay thing. I do gayer stuff than the doctor's gonna do with my fingers. Just in the shower washing myself. Yeah, I don't like. I don't like doctors that much and I feel like I've done plenty. I really don't look forward to staying here for 90 years, like most people. Like, I don't know. I don't get that. My brain doesn't operate that way. What does that say? It's better to flame out. Then I don't forget what it is. It's lyric from a song. Better than. I don't remember what is to die fast than it is to, like, live forever and do nothing.

[John Holmberg]

I don't remember that one.

[Brett Vesely]

I like the idea. Like, Gary Shandling said it, the last time anybody says you're young is when you die young. Like if you're 60. Because he died. He's at 66. He was talking about Robin Williams. He goes, nobody is. The last time you can be called young is when you die when you're 66. Because they said Robin Williams died when he was six. So young. So young. Nobody said young about him at all. But that's the only time you can get called young. Still leave him wanting more.

[Dick Toledo]

I say better to burn out than fade away.

[Brett Vesely]

There it is. Better to burn out than fade away. Amen to that. Especially if your ass is falling out of you and you got some guy digging around in there every couple weeks. I'm not like my neighbors. I'm not interested in that. If I was them, I'd be getting treatments every week. And plus, Wouldn't it. Wouldn't you feel that? I'm super familiar with the area. I don't think Biden's of the generation that washed his ass properly. So he probably. Yeah, he had rust. Oh, did Biden ever have a rust butt? Same generation that likes walking around gyms naked and showing each other their junk is the one that never washed their ass ironically. And yeah, he never got in there, so he never felt his own prospect. There's got to be a better way. Until they come up with it. This one says, I find it hilarious how your rants are about not getting a prostate exam. Coming from a man keeps his ass so clean in case somebody's gonna toss his salad. Or a man who is stuck vibrating a butt plug in there cause he lost the bet. You're the best. It's true. I'll use it for pleasure. I don't want it to get sick and find out about it. It's not like dental stuff. Nobody sees it unless I want them to. And I keep it clean like I do my teeth. But I don't know what's going on in there. That could be a nightmare, too. Long as it doesn't hurt, I don't go. And that is my sound medical advice to all of you.

[John Holmberg]

Dr. Holmberg has spoken.

[Brett Vesely]

Checkups are a waste of time. Wellness checks, that's a money grab. I feel fine. I should go to the doctor. That's women. Women started that and then they talked us into it. And you'll hear people email. I got. Luckily, I went to the doctor. I caught mine early. Good for you. Did it hurt? No. Were you happy? Yeah. How many times you been to the doctor with a finger in your ass lately? Quite a lot. Well, that's not. Not for pleasure. To each their own. I say.

[Brady]

Welcome to test city.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah. Oh, the second they find a bubble on there, it's over. Oh, Megan. For years tried to get me.

[Wayne]

You're going to go get your moles checked. You're going to get.

[Brett Vesely]

Because she had a skin cancer thing. Scared the hell out of her and should have. She's very fair skinned, but she likes going to the doctor like most women. Like, that's a treat. She wants to go to the dentist like five times a year. She loved it. It's weird. Weird like I got another dentist appointment.

[Wayne]

I wish I could do four cleanings.

[Brett Vesely]

You can. I guess the dentist is even like, what the you want to do that for? So she tells me to go to the doctor. I go to my doctor, and I'm like, I don't care about any of this because I agreed to just. I said, look, if I do this, will you get off my back? All right. So I run over this, like five years ago. I run over the doctor. I'm like, I'm supposed. I feel great, by the way. And he goes, okay. And he didn't want to be there either. And he's like, what do you want to check for? I'm like, I don't know. That's your job. So sat there and we talked for a little bit. He stuck a popsicle stick in my mouth and started to feel me and touch my pain. Can you take your shirt off? I'm like, yeah. And he goes, okay, you seem all right. I'm like, I'm supposed to get these moles looked at. And he goes, I'm looking at him. All right. He goes, you're fine. I'm like, really? I was like, all of them? Even this one. He goes, that might be a nipple. And he pointed to this. I have this weird mole under my left breast that actually might be a nipple. I'm like, no kidding. I got a third nipple. And he goes, maybe the way it protrudes, it doesn't look like a mole. He says it sensitive and I'm like, it hurts sometimes when I hit it wrong. And he goes, it might be a nipple. Like, I did learn something. And he goes, do you. Do you feel, like, any sort of pain when you do this, this, this, and this? Like, no. He's looking at my back. And he goes, you're good. I left. I go home. And he goes, I said, cleanest bill of health you'd have. I pulled to Trump. Healthiest guy he's ever seen. Never seen anyone healthier in his life.

[Wayne]

That doctor's not good.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm like, you want something wrong with me? Like, what do you mean that doctor's not.

[Wayne]

What kind of exam says I'm looking at it?

[Brett Vesely]

He did. Isn't that all he's supposed to do?

[Wayne]

He didn't take it to culture.

[Brett Vesely]

I wouldn't have let him.

[Wayne]

He should have taken one of those moles off to see if it was bad.

[Brett Vesely]

If it's good, I want my money back. What if he. What if he's like. He calls me back? It was that mole I ripped off. It's fine.

[Brady]

I got four scooped off my back.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. And they were all fine.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Waste of time.

[Brady]

And they want you to come back.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Scoop more.

[Brady]

Well, not only that is. They'll just keep coming back. Let's observe to look. That's exactly what they're doing. Looking.

[Brett Vesely]

That's what the dude did last day. Just. He kind of. He did. I give him credit. He kind of got Johnny Bench on me. He went down into the crouch staring at my stomach. And my thing is, none of these are bad. My back. All right.

[John Holmberg]

HMS Podcast time again. It'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feldman face performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see.

[Brett Vesely]

For yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand Up Live, the.

[John Holmberg]

Very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

It's Brett Veseley from Holmberg's Morning Sickness and I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now, Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all look when it comes to H Vac, plumbing or electrical issues. They're certified professional deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate. Right now, Patrick Riley is a special for you guys. Fifteen hundred dollars off a new AC system install plus up to eleven hundred dollars in additional rebates. They offer same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out online at Patrick Riley.

[Brett Vesely]

Services.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness and then my friend Mark, he's got the same disease as a woman would have, which is I love. He loves going to the doctor. He my friend, Mark Stebbing, I don't use names. He's CEO of that bank, Mark Stebbings.

[John Holmberg]

He.

[Brett Vesely]

I was probably every Tuesday for about three years, did anal stress tests. He'd tell me about him all the time. He was getting his ass checked constantly because he was worried about his pee. I'm like, how many times have you had, oh, you got to get checked, you got to get checked. I'm like, all right, all right, calm down. We're in the pool about three years ago. He looks and he goes, you got to get your back checked. I'm like, why? There's a couple moles on there I'm concerned about. I'm like, how much training do you have? How much training do you have, banker boy? None. But you know, you should get checked. I'm like, yeah, all right, maybe I get it, maybe I don't. Dr. Was like. And then the doctor said that one thing. He said, your prostate is. He said all the ultrasound and all your, your blood work came back aces. You look great. And he goes, prostate exam. I guess we can. And I'm like, I don't really. He goes, I don't want to do it if you don't. And I'm like, yeah, we're good here. And then I left. He was the best doctor I've ever had in my life. He didn't want to. It was five o' clock in the afternoon. He wanted to go home.

[Wayne]

What kind of doctor says, if you don't want this, why is he. You need to go to another exam?

[Brett Vesely]

Like, nope. I said you'd get off my back if I went to this one. Came back 10 out of 10.

[Wayne]

You're gonna die from something.

[Brett Vesely]

We all are, honey. That's the way it works. So when they started to break down Biden's disease and start to blame stuff for it, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to it. I don't have any medical training either, but 82 is the reason he's got it.

[Brady]

Stuff starts to break at zoos. That's the number one. Cancer is the number one thing that animals. Because they get so old, eventually.

[Brett Vesely]

Prosthetics. No, just cancer. Cancer. Yeah. Yeah. Eventually your body starts shutting down.

[Brady]

I mean, they're living two times longer than they would out in the wild.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. They were designed to be eaten by something else or just drop dead from the elements. So were we, by the way. Yeah, some of it's. Some of it's real. This guy says, you are right. I had no intention of going to a doctor for a stomach issue. That was nothing. My wife freaked out, forced me to go fast forward 500 bucks later, and the doc says, you're perfectly healthy. It's diagnosis was that wings and pizza and beer is bad for me. When football's on, I'm gonna feel it for a few days. His stomach started to hurt because he was overdoing pizza and wings. Oh, that is something that a good dad will tell you. My dad failed in that. And I don't know that I'd have listened, but when I was pounding wings as a, you know, younger, and. And now it's like I have to be. My dad and I used to order six dozen wings from Long Long down the street at the dirty1 on 8th Avenue and extension Dirty ass. Long Long. So you lived over there. But six dozen was like 12.95. I still don't know how they were doing. They were running coke out of that place. There's no way. That was like 13 bucks. So we were getting six dozen wings for 13. Semi back there was insane. My dad would look at me and he goes, wings. I'm like, goddamn right, wings. And I'd go grab them and come back and we would. He and I, on a Saturday would kill all six dozen. All of them. All of them. And look at each other like nothing. My dad's like, oh, he never Once said, you can't do this at my age or enjoy this while it lasts. This goes away. And, you know, then you start thinking there's something wrong with him. And you just realize, I know why I did this. Salt is another one nobody tells you about later in life. Salt. Eat salt. Your ears swell up like, what the hell is going on? I used to be able to crush salt, no problem. Now if I have a little bit, my stomach blows up and my ears hurt. It's not a medical condition. It's called I'm 52. Salt's a mother effort. There's truth. The way Brady's doing it. Just go. Just go, baby, go. And salt doesn't bother you? Go. Tyler, I guarantee you that you might get a little heartburn. You know what you do?

[Brady]

You eat through it.

[Brett Vesely]

You power through, put more in. Yeah.

[Brady]

Into some roadblocks every now and then.

[Brett Vesely]

The cure for heartburn is more of that red flavor sauce. I think it's power. Power. Yeah. So doctors will just. They wipe you out. I had my doctor buddy tell me that. Oh, half of our exams are just for money. You son of a. He goes, yeah, he goes. Everybody's so worried about stuff. They come in when they're healthy, which is good. He was happy because we don't need to. I look at people immediately and go, this guy's just fine. Wife made him come in. And what does. What does Jill Biden do? I thought she was a doctor. You know what she's not doing? Little back door play on her husband because she'd have noticed. But, yeah, he did that. If you listen to those Axios tapes, this announcement, I'm thinking he was trying to skirt through this whole deal without anybody knowing he had it, because the last thing he wanted was people to think he was sick before. But now with these tapes coming out, this is a nice distraction. Even made Trump put out a thing that said, ah, I hope the Bidens are all okay. That's terrible news. And everything else. Trump was even nice to him. So this worked out in a good way.

[Brady]

I was talking with a friend over the weekend and they were talking about presidents where they make all their money is these million dollar speeches over them. Like, I don't think every one of them, you know, Obama, you know, it's the prime example of it. Yes, he was very good. Certain did it. I go, you're not going to see million dollar speeches from Biden.

[Brett Vesely]

No. Or Bush.

[Brady]

Or Bush.

[Brett Vesely]

Although he did do some stuff. If he showed up, I suppose you'd give him Some money. I don't know where they make appearances, but, you know, maybe other countries. Pam, I don't see a lot of like Obama giving a speech at things or anybody really. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where they make their money. They make money on knowing the stock market before us. Here's something spe. Speaking of money. And again, I'm not a doctor or a politician, but let me save Mexico a ton of money. Evidently you. If you. If your navy ships still have sails. Not much of a navy ship.

[Brady]

I think it was a head scratcher.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. When they kept saying Mexico, don't call it that. Mexican navy vessel hits Brooklyn Bridge and looked at it, I'm like, oh, this will be bad. And I expected like a modern day Navy vessel, maybe with curb feelers or something like just to make it known that it's Mexican or a pinata or it's pink and yellow or. I don't know.

[Brady]

That wasn't even. It sounds like it wasn't even war ready.

[Brett Vesely]

It had sail.

[John Holmberg]

I know it looked like it was out of Pirates of the Caribbean for Christ's sake.

[Brady]

I called it a training ship.

[Brett Vesely]

Is John Candy at the helm? This is summer rental. Why in the world do they keep calling it. And if it's for training, who are they training? They're going to fight the Spanish in 1700. Again, that's not a navy boat. And by the way, if it's a training vessel, first thing, it doesn't fit under bridges. How about that? Start there. They kept saying Mexico's terror and it's tragic. It killed people. Was trying to. It hit the Brooklyn Bridge, which is like 180 years old. Worried more about the bridge, but the neck, Mexico. First off, if you.

[Brady]

I watch different angles. It's amazing. I mean, the bridge just didn't even.

[Brett Vesely]

The bridge is fine.

[Brady]

Snapped it. It's like breaking sticks.

[Brett Vesely]

First, first, let me ask this. A, why does Mexico have a Navy. B, what's its ship doing in New York?

[Brady]

Training.

[Brett Vesely]

And C, they're invading us. Who's gonna attack Mexico anytime soon? Like, dudes, save your money on military. And let's not get so egomaniacal to think that if trouble was brewing down on the. An Acapulco in the Pacific front there that we wouldn't be down there from San Diego in a heartbeat helping you out. Who's attacking Mexico? And I know Central America runs through it all the time. They're not. They don't want to stay in Mexico. Nobody in their right mind right now. Maybe Doug Hopkins is looking for deals in Mexico. Nobody's trying to take that land over. The poorest country in the world is looking at Mexico like, right, let's get them. Like, nobody's trying to take over Mexico. Cancel your navy. In fact, cancel your entire military and just give uniforms to the cartel. They're the ones protecting you anyway. But when I saw that Mexican navy ship and it had sail, it took me a second. I'm like, are those sales? They sail to their wars, and in.

[Brady]

A way, it's gonna take a while to get here for backup.

[Brett Vesely]

Think about it.

[Brady]

If we align with them in a.

[Brett Vesely]

Think how clever it is. That's like, hey, North America's under attack. You guys ready? Max was like, we're ready. What do you need us to do? I need your navy to get up there. All right, we'll get the sales set. And, like, what? What did you say? We'll set sail for morning. Set sail? You have sails on your. Never mind. We'll do it. Like, got us out of that war. We can sleep in. Canada's navy probably has a boat or two that I bet you we gave them. Who's trying to attack Canada? Nobody's attacking over here. Cancel your military. Mexico. That's silly.

[Brady]

That ship is already repaired.

[Brett Vesely]

Just put a couple more sticks. Yeah, they put it. They went to Home Depot and got some more masts. All right, J. Paul, we need to go left. We need to get the big sheet. Yeah, their sheets are on it. Like, I saw the one sale go up, and there's a picture of Piolin on there. I'm like, oh, it's just a bed sheet.

[Brady]

Like, is it there for, like, tours or something?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

It's gotta be.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, I don't think they were too familiar with the area. I'm pretty sure they were unfamiliar with the. With the passageways because they smashed into the most well known bridge in New York.

[Brady]

And there's a tug next to it.

[Brett Vesely]

Probably honking like, hey, no, no, no. Hey, slow down, pal. We're good. I haven't even got the sails up. I don't even know how this thing's moving.

[John Holmberg]

It's like plane strain zombies. You're going the wrong way.

[Brett Vesely]

Turn around. Hey, you, man. You don't know where I'm going. You're gonna hit the bridge. Shut up, twerp. Look at Braden down there, yelling at me from his little baby boat.

[Brady]

You did you measure? I measured.

[Brett Vesely]

So now they're gonna rebuild it. They're gonna have bridge. Feelers on the top to scrape. I think we're gonna hit that bridge, player. Nah, we're good. And by the way, we're the Mexican Navy. Training. What? Training? Yeah, I don't think that's a thing. I really don't know that the Mexican Navy is a necessity in any way, shape or form. We gotcha, Mexico. We gotcha. This was the last sound the cars on the Brooklyn Bridge heard. Oh, no. Hey, look out, bridge, here we come. We're gonna hit it.

[Brady]

I mean, the traffic was kind of standing still was moving a little bit, but it's pretty close. That mat, when it goes over the side of the road there, you can see that just mass coming.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You'll be sitting there. Like, that's not going to make it. You're on the Brooklyn Bridge. There's a lot of walking traffic on that Brooklyn looking like that. That's not good. Hey, who did the horn? I'm the commodore. You're not allowed to touch that. I'm like Lionel Richie around here. That's my horn. Easy like a Sunday morning on my horn, man. I'm commodore in the Mexican Navy. Did you see the bridge? Yup. And you hit it? Yup. Why? Because we got sales, player. Why? I don't understand our Navy. I don't even know why we have jobs. Like, what are we gonna do about it? Nobody's ever, you know what, Call Mexico. We're in deep trouble. Let's get their Navy involved. Never. You guys don't need a navy. P.J.

[John Holmberg]

Trump, we're busy.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, P.J. trump. We're driving around New York. Go to Washington Heights. I just got done watching Washington Nights. US Navi's girl is hot, man. We're gonna go up there.

[Brady]

They were heading back and they didn't want to go back.

[Brett Vesely]

If we don't get this boat out of here, it's going to get deported. We're not gonna make it on the bridge. Who are you? Get off my boat. Mexican Navy. No offense, Mexico, but come on. Says you're right, John. Mexico went to Home Depot to build the Navy warship. They also picked up a few sailors in the parking lot. I don't know what the hell they were thinking. Says it makes everybody in the Rio Grand Mexican Navy SEALs. Now that's just rude. But hilarious, Daniel. SEAL training. We get to Texas, we're SEALs. Anyway. I just giggled at that. I know it's a tragedy and stuff, but again, I'm not the brightest guy in the world. I'm pretty. But they lost control of it, too. That was a thing that they said they lost power. Power. Sailboat.

[Brady]

Like the ship that was in Maryland.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the one that bashed into that bridge. I mean, I think people were nervous that if you took down the. Can you imagine the Brooklyn Bridge going out and the Mexican navy's to blame. Oh, Trump would have nuked them. I can't even believe they. What in the. What in the. Were you guys doing? We're gonna go ahead and get rid of Mexico completely. Yeah, they lost power. And when they kept saying we lost power.

[Brady]

Kind of drifting into the side of the main.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, the tugboats were evidently. And I don't know this for sure. Evidently the tugboats were trying to grab it. We'll get it. They were trying to grapple on there because the Mexican navy had lost control of their boat, and. And so they tried to hook on, but they couldn't catch it. It was cruising along pretty quick. Don't scratch the paint, player. What are you doing with that hook? You know what? Hit the gas. They say these guys are trying to hook us.

[Brady]

It's powered by three Nova engines.

[Brett Vesely]

It's just the Nova with sales. You name the car the no go. This thing won't slow down. I don't even have any of the sheets up. This is bad, man. What did they rent that thing for, quinceaneras or something? I know it's. But why in the world was it in New York? When in the world did we ever say, get me a navy ship to New York City and make it Mexico? Never. I didn't even know they had boats. The only boats I know they've got are for marlin fishing for tourists. Where's the big Mexican navy port? As an American, I've been to all their cool cities on the coast. I was 18 last time I went. I'm never going back. Never once do I remember a big, like, Mexican aircraft carrier rolling through.

[Brady]

Mexico City.

[Brett Vesely]

That's inland a little. I don't know where their navy boats are. Where's their big navy ports?

[Brady]

Acapulco.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, We've all been there. We didn't see the naval yard of sailboats. Evidently every boat they've got part of the navy. Now. One of them drifted over to New York. Think of that. Made it all the way to New York. That's a long haul. And then hit the Brooklyn Bridge. There aren't any bridges out in the ocean. This is dumb. Your fault. Players should have put a bridge there. Okay, It's a shortcut.

[Brady]

If we go under the bridge, I.

[Brett Vesely]

Think we can do it. I don't know. They're on some side. I think we can get under it if we just kind of hit the hydraulics and we'll drop down the boy. We're gonna hit the bridge. This American guy's a pain in the ass, man. You're no fun. You see the cops and the little tugboats coming up next to him? You guys see he's just smashing that bridge back there? Yeah, we did. But is it cool if I say he was driving? Because I don't have insurance. There's a boat insured at all. Let me dig around in the glove compartment. Hit it. Run, player. Are you putting your sales up? They're not going to go up anymore. You know what? I'm just going to keep you here. Yeah, I don't have insurance, so I don't know. You're gonna have to pay for this.

[Brady]

Maybe it was just a little kind of joyriding. They wanted to get close to the bridge, and then the power went out.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the tags do a little loop.

[John Holmberg]

Around like Armin says, too. Those. Those sales were completely lit up. Where'd you lose power from?

[Brett Vesely]

Exactly. They were lit up like. Like they were gonna have a. A Quesanera.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't think the. But the sales weren't out.

[Brett Vesely]

No, but they were lit. The mask was all lit up already going on. Oh, there's something. Because it was Christmas lights.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's training.

[Brett Vesely]

Your tags expired in 78. Oh, my wife was supposed to do that. I'll get mad at her when I get home. 47 years ago. I don't think you're gonna do the tags for real. Anyway. I don't know what was going on in that Mexican Navy boat. I laughed hysterically when they said, don't just say a Mexican boat or a boat from Mexico. You put Navy on there and I immediately lose the gravity of the situation, that people were injured or killed. I'm just glad the Brooklyn Bridge is okay. That thing's sturdy, man.

[Brady]

Just didn't nothing happen at all, any impact whatsoever.

[Brett Vesely]

Dudes back in the early 1900s, late 1800s, put that thing together and said, not even the Mexican Navy can take this down. That's probably what their claim was. Hey, check it out. Watch this, man. These bridges, you can bash into them all day long. They don't budge. Ingenuity. I love it. I think it's great. This one says John. This is from Ramon Lopez Raylo. Believe it or not, Mexico has an air force. It's compromised of old World War I. Biplanes, airships and Kitty Hawk. Yeah, I think they're there. We just keep them over at Kitty Hawk. That's where our planes are. You know, in case somebody gets a wild hair like France and tries to dig Mexico again. A lot of threats coming your way, Mexico. People trying to. The only country that would be interested in you is us, and we're not. I think we'd be the only ones who are like, I think we're gonna annex. We're just gonna take Mexico. I dare you. Look, we've seen your navy ships in action. This is gonna be a fast fight.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe Greenland's gonna bring out their navy next. Well, Greenland probably start bashing into our. Bashing into our bridges too.

[Brett Vesely]

Greenland's boat, which is just rowed over by Vikings. Yeah, I don't understand any of that, but I laughed for about 30 minutes. Made me. Made me go. Anyway, congratulations, Mexico. I can make fun of you because your navy is worse than like Afghanistan. And they didn't need a navy at all.

[Brady]

That was their only destroyer.

[Brett Vesely]

We used a destroyer. We re wrecked it. I bet you they don't rebuild it. They just lost a boat. A Mexican navy looked like one of.

[John Holmberg]

Those bottles or those ships in a bottle and stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

It did. I want to see the Mexican Navy uniform. It's got to be epic. I've never once seen a navy, a Mexican navy officer walking around, ever.

[John Holmberg]

It's white socks to your knees and.

[Brett Vesely]

Only the top button is buttoned on their white shirt. It says it absolutely wasn't the mast of the sail that hit that bridge. It was a 300 foot high stack of furniture and mattresses it had in tow in the back of it. Pretty impressive. Anyway, we can make fun of the Mexican Navy because I think all of us agree that's the first time we've ever heard of LA Navy. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585 9800. That's the number and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD, wake up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughotkins.com TV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online doughns.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins Singers. It's John Holberg here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Twenty years ago the Core Institute began and it's a better way of caring for people and there are a lot of people who are coping with pain in their bodies every day. The Core Institute specializes in helping the pain disappear and I speak from experience here I am now living pain free and enjoying all the the things I absolutely love to do. So if you're living in pain, you don't have to anymore. The Core Institute has been here for 20 years and they're going to be here for a lot longer than that. And you can stop living with pain and start saying yes to all the things you love to do. Go to the Core Institute.com Fisher Tools.

[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Brett Vesely]

Know, service you trust. Still streaming Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] thank you Miles to Nowhere. Katie and Hobbs are our Wake up so song, our actual theme song actually. Monday's here another glorious weekend. We got Memorial Day weekend right around the corner to celebrate, you know, all the military achievements and things like that and the loss of people and Mexican Navy's gonna be out in New York. I don't know what they're doing. They're helping out all the great navies of the world like Estonia and Afghanistan and Mongolia. They're bringing their Navy ships over. What a fleet this guy says, you know, you say you want to have us send over the first thing we hear when we turn you on in the morning. This is what I heard. Turn the radio on that says I first. First words I hear is I'll be better off or the world will be better off dead if my butthole falls out. Dolores. Thanks, Dolores. Steve, guy said you talked about wings back in the day. Remember native New Yorkers? 10 cent wings.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Crush those. Oh. Used to get 50 wings and a pitcher of beer and I'm healthy as a horse. We didn't even get the beer because we were in high school when that was going on. Native New Yorker on university 10 cent wings. And they moved it to just Wednesdays. We'd leave school immediately when the last class was over and fly to university and sit in that packed house of cheap people. I would have seven or eight bucks to my name and I would go get what I know. And I just think back of the server 70 weeks. I would get 60. So I'd have a tip, it was six bucks and then my Coke. So I'd have like seven or eight bucks. I would. I would spend every penny of it it and feel fine about it. But the wings weren't very big. But 10 cent wings, they were. I mean, it was a slew of people in high school and early college. I don't know if native New Yorker made money or not. I don't know how they did. And then they moved into 10 cent popcorn shrimp night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

It wasn't nearly as popular because it was breaded and it was heavy. It was awful. But anything for 10 cents. We all showed up. And all I can think about now, I probably ate as much feces and human than Brady did ordering grilled cheeses over at that McDonald's. No way. The servers went to work Happy on Wednesday 10 cent wings night and saw a bunch of high school kids come in with dollar bills just crammed in their hands. Like, I got money and the whole bill. Like nine of us sitting at a table. The whole thing maybe like 17 bucks was crazy, man.

[Brady]

The volume of wings. They're turning out stuff that all the way cooked.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you gotta pull them, gotta pull. Didn't matter. Yeah. And they were just putting wings in a huge vat. And then the servers would just go hand pull them out. There's no way they were doing it to order. That was a massive bucket in the kitchen. It was just keep frying wings and dumping them in this bucket. It. Oh, I remember once, I think it's Chad. Dude named Chad was there and he got like 18 wings. He had like $2, like 18 wings and then a Coke and the lady brought out like 27 wings. It's like they screwed up my order. We were in heaven. Like, this was. This was a. A dollar freebie. Oh, it was the best day ever.

[John Holmberg]

But yeah, these are like a buck.

[Brett Vesely]

A piece or something. I know, but at least. And also, so I'm sorry. It's time for me to go. This is like me being an AA member. I need to go back to apologize to all. You know, who else needs the A the native New Yorker now just native native New Yorker in their 10 cent wing nights back in the late 80s, early 90s. And also the Olive Garden waiters that we abused for salad and soup day. I didn't ever eat the soups. Salad and breadsticks. Oh my God. And I didn't even want the soup it. But they'd bring like never ending salads and then that wedding soup or whatever they're serving everybody. And you just went in there, it was packed one in the afternoon and every server realized that they're going to get 12 to $15 per table and get tipped accordingly on that. Like we should have tipped them like we were at stake 44. It should have been 30 bucks for a bill for a party of 10. And they're just running left.

[Brady]

They're making 20 trips.

[Brett Vesely]

They're making 100 trips to each table. They should have. That's the only time waiters should have gotten like 200% tips. But we didn't. Bunch of pricks. Oh, I'm so sorry. If you were a waiter at native New Yorker. I can't imagine the management and the turnover at that place and how many times in the kitchen just say this. I quit like every Wednesday. You'd lose somebody. You had to.

[Brady]

You had to do it every other week on a Wednesday.

[Brett Vesely]

Every. Well, Wednesday. Yeah. You were forced to work one. I'm not working Wednesdays. Yes you are or you don't work here. God damn. 10 cent wings.

[John Holmberg]

And it was nothing but high school kids and all it was broke ass college kids. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You catered to the poor for your business in the worst way ever. And like ultra poor, they would let you get. I think the limit was six. You have to have at least 60 cents. Two quarters and a dime, man, or you're not getting in.

[John Holmberg]

I think you had to buy a drink too. If I'm not.

[Brett Vesely]

And it wasn't like 1880 where 2/4 and a dime. Gotcha. You know a house 2/4 in the dime was not tough to scrape up. And you know it wasn't olden days. But you had to get at least six if you didn't order like some people go in there. I'll just have two wings. Let's like. Just kidding. Vukovich went in there. Two wings. Vuk, you gotta get six. I only have 30 cents. You're gonna get a little. Save a little for the tip there. Good on you, man. 50% tip. Throwing that dime on the table.

[Brady]

Tag on to your order. My 30 cents.

[Brett Vesely]

And I felt like Rockefeller Cuz I was working. I had money. But I sometimes would blow it all and only have a few bucks and I'd still go. And they sometimes. And we were so upset. I remember being upset. They canceled. It was over. And we hit that 25 weeks in a row and they canceled it. And we couldn't figure out why. This place is packed. I don't understand.

[John Holmberg]

Couldn't keep any servers.

[Brett Vesely]

This place is just. It's constantly packed full of people. This is a terrible business move. Meanwhile, the 27 year old manager who started off with looking normal but 20 weeks later had the silver hair. It looked like Anderson Cooper. His life was over.

[Brady]

I remember when we first started the show. I forget the name of the place but they were doing the penny wings with the beer. It was a bar promotion. You know, it's like the Thursday night it was down in Tempe.

[Brett Vesely]

Huh. I remember that. Pinkies.

[Brady]

Oh, was it Chewy's?

[Brett Vesely]

Was it Chewy? I don't know. You're telling the story.

[Brady]

Eric used to go there every Wednesday. Penny wins.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not doing that. Pennies? No. There's going to be somebody's period in that. That's not. That's not red sauce. Nobody's. You're eating after birth. And anything Planned Parenthood throws away. Those people are not happy with their lives. There's no possible way the health. You imagine the dirty dining guy going into the native New Yorker on a Wednesday dime night or penny wing night at Brady's place. Forget it. Nobody is following standards if they're charging a penny a wing. Oh, I had that rule years and years and years.

[Brady]

Count 20 wings wash a little wet T shirt contest.

[Brett Vesely]

Right. And roll out. That's a good night spent 18 cents. I tipped her a dollar. That's like heavy crazy. I couldn't do it, man. That's gross.

[Dick Toledo]

I think you're talking about margarita rocks.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Anybody who actually ate food in that place. Because they did that. And they had a taco bar for a little while too on the wet T shirt nights. And it was right out in front of everybody on the dance floor.

[Brett Vesely]

An exposed taco bar.

[Brady]

Nickel tacos or something like that.

[Dick Toledo]

Salsa and cheese chips and everything. We went to full nine for a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Sour cream taco buffet.

[Brady]

Now get up there in your T shirt, baby.

[Wayne]

Herp.

[Dick Toledo]

That's right.

[Brett Vesely]

No Herp.

[Dick Toledo]

And all they won was. I think they won 50 bucks for the T shirt.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that's thousands and thousands of meals.

[Brady]

Only wings that.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, Herp. Oh, I can't think I just mentally pictured the build your own taco bar one time for a penny.

[Dick Toledo]

Remember they had the upper deck where you could look down on the.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd rather eat an upper decker than that.

[Dick Toledo]

Wait till you watch. Wait till you watch a girl yak off the top of that thing and you're still getting there with your taco food.

[Brady]

What's that?

[Brett Vesely]

That's guac. I don't know. That's some sort of a weird bean guac. Gross. Yeah, that's barf worthy there. That's horrifying. Anyway, my apologies. I've never done it. It's time and I hope. I doubt any of them are still alive. They all probably killed themselves or had some sort of stress related death in their 30s. And they can all relate back to why. And it was because they did time as a native New Yorker. Wednesday. Waiter. I have a solid strict rule. And this started when I worked at Tony Roma's back in the day. I will not eat at a place with writing on the window. I won't do it. I won't do it. The second there's paint on the windows. I know for a fact they are paying the kitchen staff bare minimum. Nobody in there is a high end anything. They got a guy who will do it, not a guy who's qualified to do it. That's the difference.

[Brady]

You're not going in there for that fish fry Friday.

[Brett Vesely]

I am not going anywhere where they have hired someone to paint a deal on a window. Kids eat free. That's already telling me there's kids in there. I'm out on that. But when you do a special and paint it on the window, gonzo. Because that tells me that the chef is a dude who said, sure, I guess I'll try that. He's not a guy who's qualified. He's just a dude who took the gig and more than likely learned his skills while incarcerated. That's my guess.

[John Holmberg]

Did you guys do that? Romas.

[Brett Vesely]

Today we painted 7952 for 1/2 slab. It was a huge like book. Gigantic. 795 half slab. 2, 4, 1. Poor zombies just came out of the woodwork.

[Brady]

This is the end.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. And you know what started to happen? Our qualified employees started to leave. They started to go get jobs at places where like, I'm actually. I'm a culinary person. I cook.

[John Holmberg]

The Chris Valenzuela's left all.

[Brett Vesely]

No, the Chris Valenzuela stayed for a while because they could do mass. They did volume, they understood penny food. But there was a dude Named Tony there, who was actually super qualified and being looked at by corporate headquarters as, like, a quality control guy that would travel around all the Tony Romas and, like, tell people, this is how it goes. 795 painted on our window. Tony was gone. I think he ended up working at, like, Red Robin or something. He just wanted out. Everybody left. And then you go back in the kitchen and you're like, who's this guy? He's the new kitchen manager.

[Brady]

Manager.

[Brett Vesely]

He. He looks kind of filthy. Like, shouldn't our kitchen manager have a shirt on? I think that's a pretty sure. You're supposed to wear a shirt while you're cooking in a restaurant. Not anymore. We're a two for one place. It was horrible. Paint on windows. Restaurants beware.

[John Holmberg]

I think Groupon is the new paint on windows.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, do they still do it?

[John Holmberg]

Groupon?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

It is still a thing. No kidding. Yeah. I don't even. I didn't even know that. I just knew it was kind of a passing fancy.

[John Holmberg]

After you put the kibosh on.

[Brett Vesely]

I put the kibosh on the Groupon. We were going to restaurant.

[Wayne]

These restaurants, we would never try normally.

[Brett Vesely]

There's a reason. Because it tastes like there's band aids in my talk. I know.

[John Holmberg]

I had to go a few times.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Oh, I know. You were with me on that one.

[John Holmberg]

A stack of Groupons, like, oh, Christ.

[Brett Vesely]

We had a Groupon drawer because of your ex wife.

[John Holmberg]

No, I blame her for a lot, including that.

[Brett Vesely]

That's a big one. Had the roles been reversed there. No marriage on my end, that's for damn sure. You're forcing other people to buy into these groupons to force date night. So Brett and I have to sit and talk about nothing while we eat Band aid tacos for $2. I have a job, you know, can afford meals.

[Wayne]

These are too good to pass up. Dinner for four for $28.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not going there. $7 is not a reasonable. That's too low. There is such too low of a price for food. If you went to the grocery store and saw steak, and next to it was another steak, and one steak was $10, and one steak was 8 cents, you'd ask questions for, how come this one's 8 cents? Oh, it's from a different supplier. I'll take the $10 steak. I'm not trusting that 8 cents. There's too low of price anyway. Sorry. Native New Yorker. And I'm sorry to the. I didn't frequent it as much, but the Olive Garden people deserve an apology for that all you can eat wings, salad and soup thing you were doing. It's kind of your own fault. But you did get treated like garbage and that's not fair. For the tips. We should have. There should have been a mandatory $20 tip on that. Had to. Quitting. We were there that one time. The waiter quit while we were. Because our boss, Chuck, wouldn't leave him alone. He was the worst waiter I've ever seen in my life. But he was at his wits end. And Chuck was pounding his fork and knife into the table. Where is Dwighter? Where? Oh, he. It was awful. It was mob rule. It was so bad in there that day. And you know it was bad because there was trash on the floor and nobody was even thinking about picking it up. The place lost Nick, the world's worst waiter. It lost control so bad that Nick quit in the middle of his shift and then wrote us a letter. Letter?

[Brady]

What?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, because we talked about him the next day as Nick, the world's worst waiter. And we. He knew we worked at kupd and he wrote us a letter saying that we were the scum of the earth for even wanting to have free soups and salads and breadsticks. And the old man at our table was like. And all this. It was bad. Nick wrote a long letter.

[Brady]

I was in the weeds, bro.

[Brett Vesely]

It wasn't in the weeds. His life was over. It was more than just, I'm a little busy. The dude was gonna kill himself or everyone else.

[John Holmberg]

Did you let Chuck read that email?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, we read it on the air. Oh, nice. I was like, chuck did this. Chuck was horrible. God damn it. What's taking so goddamn long? Chuck, this place is packed full of people who want free soup and breadsticks. And he just told us they're running low on breadsticks. Well, that's just bad management. You've got to be prepared. You're giving away goddamn breadsticks for free. Have extra. You dumb.

[Brady]

Had to go back once or twice to add a little more tip money on there afterwards.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, he would.

[Brett Vesely]

He'd do 10% of the free breadsticks. That's a three dollar bill. That's good. 30 cent tip. You're welcome. And we go back and give a guy 10 bucks. Sorry about that. He's old. You know, Nick, you might be the least qualified. You should think about another profession. And Nick just quit you old man. And he walked out.

[John Holmberg]

Denise.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I'm gonna take over. Nick's taking a break from living. Oh, good. You know I gotta tell you, Denise, that Nick is a terrible waiter. Horrible. Now make with the soups and breadsticks. We're on round five.

[Brady]

I'll be back. I got a hundred top on my other with the steak.

[Brett Vesely]

And that was the worst part. Another slew of human beings coming in full office buildings. The boss. I'm going to take everybody out for lunch today. And he'd take 30 people and they were sitting all around. Nobody was happy. Sorry, Nick. Sorry, everybody at Olive Garden. Terrible.

[Brady]

So much volume waiting on breadstick to be telling you.

[Brett Vesely]

We were a cooler society back then. Because nowadays somebody would have blown that place up or done something terrible. That was back when people just quit and left and, like, took it out on somebody else individually, not a whole group of people. Nowadays, that happens. Nick's running a truck through the center of Olive Garden. And we probably would have deserved it the way we were treating him. You could understand why he snapped. Speaking of snap, did you see the dude that blew up the fertility clinic in California this weekend? This is new. He's.

[Brady]

He's a manifesto.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, he's a.

[Brady]

A.

[Brett Vesely]

He's an antinatalist, I think they called it. He's against all pregnancy. Because you didn't ask like the kid. It takes the whole thing. I didn't ask to be here. That every kid in every country and every hut or house in the world has ever said when they're in trouble with their parents. Well, I didn't even ask to be here. It consent from the embryo. The baby did not give consent to be born. So he's an antinatalist. And he blew up a fertility clinic. Blew himself up, which is, I guess, good.

[John Holmberg]

Imagine telling Dan that. Oh, you nice to be here?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I did once.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really?

[Brett Vesely]

Once. One time.

[John Holmberg]

Kurt Veslie.

[Brett Vesely]

Big.

[John Holmberg]

I could take care of that right now, then, no problem.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my dad said that I brought you into this world I could take out. He's one of those. But I. Yeah, every kid has thrown the. You guys are jerks. You know, it's not fair because I didn't ask to be here. That's the dumbest thing kids say. But every kid said it. This guy did it in 29 Palms, California. He's. I've never heard of it. Anti pro life, which does not make him pro choice. He's anti pro life, which means he doesn't think it's fair that anyone has a baby because the baby never had a choice. It's the strangest thing I've ever. It's a targeted Attack against an IVF facility. And they're gonna look into it. It injured four people, which is good that they only got injured, that they weren't killed. He was. He's dead. But it's the first I'm hearing of it. And the worst thing is, is now it's a thing. Now there's gonna be other people out there who have that stupid kid mentality of, I didn't ask to be here. No baby asks to be here. And now there's a movement against that. So he's against in vitro because it's not. He's against all pregnancy. It was the weirdest thing I've ever read. Like, it's. And there's.

[Brady]

I thought it might have been more the IVF thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that's a big one. Yeah, that's huge. Because that's forcing it. But like, pregnant, he's against it all. Like, he doesn't think that making babies is all pregnancies are awful because there's a thing inside there that you are giving life to. And it basically is like, as I read there, their platform, which is essentially saying, bringing something into this world that inevitably is going to suffer and die isn't fair to that thing. Which when you read that, you're like, hey, that's kind of true. Except for that's crazy. I'm against kids like anybody else, but just for me, anybody else wants to poke them out and ruin their lives, that's fine. But yeah, it's a. It's a very strange real thing. The kid was only 25. I don't know how you can get that mad at like. Like life has to beat you down pretty good. There's just. There's no chance. Like, he couldn't. All he did was. He was depressed. He. This world is just. Is terrible. You're bringing people into. Have great suffering, heartache, emotional stress, damage, all this. Nothing is good at all. All things are bad and even the good things aren't good enough. And nobody asked to be here, so stop it. And he tried to blow up a fertility clinic because of it. Anti natalist, which I didn't know you could be. Like, he's standing up for the embryos. No, he blew himself up. Right. It's even better. Good. But now he should hang himself. Yeah, but an anti 8. Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? CMC is hiring immediately. At CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa, open positions include electrical engineers, automation specialists, industrial electricity and industrial mechanics join the next generation of steel makers and help keep our electrical operators and machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity employer. It's Shawn Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about Turf Monsters, the people who are resurrecting my backyard. Turf is the way to go. No more dirt and mud tracked all over my house by my dogs. The turf is pet safe, easy to clean and it's amazing. And they don't stop there. I got a basketball court going to my backyard and a putting green. They found an amazing place for this design. Turf Monsters AZ is where you need to go to renovate your backyard space. Use Holmberg and get 10% off the whole deal. How about that? Turfmonstersaz.com Craving your next action packed adventure, Audible delivers thrills of every kind on your command. Like Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir where a lone astronaut must save humanity from extinction. Narrated with stunning intensity by Ray Porter.

[Wayne]

From electrifying suspense and daring quests to.

[Brett Vesely]

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[Brady]

It had to get released first.

[Brett Vesely]

At least it left. It left its last guy and started hosing some new sperms and just sat there. It left one place being lazy and hit another one, and then boom, the sperms hit it. But he's right. If you want to get into that now, you got to get into the makeup of sperm and their desire to want to be human.

[Brady]

Human and the whole. When I met the release, I met the actual egg, too. The egg is put out there.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but the egg is not for the eggs put out there to just sit around. Sperms are released, going, we're gonna make a baby. Like, they charge some. The egg. If the egg wanted to make babies.

[Brady]

Reason why the egg is put out.

[Brett Vesely]

I know, but it would meet in the middle. If the. The egg would run towards it, they would have, like, super cloudy. The egg just sits there and plays koi. Not you.

[Wayne]

Yuck.

[Brett Vesely]

And there's all sorts of spermicide around her. Like, you have to fight through her force field. It's like Han Solo hoping the tractor beams down. She puts out all sorts of things to protect her against this. And, like, she's not. She's making it really difficult.

[Brady]

Why we're the pursuer, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Which is why we're the man. We're doing the work.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. That old man got that tractor.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, yeah. They got locks on doors. They got all sorts of stuff that stops the sperms. And then the strongest one, and it's all designed to get the richest, strongest one shows up. Bam. I'm the bad mother. Got in this egg.

[Wayne]

I didn't do anything.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right, bitch. Now get to work. And now she has to nurture and all that. When you look at it from that Perspective. It's true. Sperms have a desire to be born. Period. End of story. So the antinatalist is kind of, you know, it gets philosophical at that point. We start going. It's deep.

[Brady]

Wish we could have been there earlier to explain that to him.

[Brett Vesely]

Basically, he wanted was more money shots. And I think porn is to blame for that. It's like, he's like, why would you put it in there when you could.

[John Holmberg]

I agree with him. You know, I'm not, you know, I'm.

[Brady]

Not one of those.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, I agree with him on that. On that point.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Not to say antinatalists have all bad ideas. Yeah, you just take it too far. In a weird way, I am antinatalist. Like, I don't think I ever think sperms belong in eggs. That's disgusting. I like maybe a little hot sauce, but no sperms. Salt, pepper, hot sauce. That's good on egg. Eggs, sperms.

[John Holmberg]

Crandall wants to know if that bomber was actually Nick the waiter years later.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, in a cruel twist, one of the waiters we mistreated at the Garden had. Had it. Why would anybody bring someone into this world? Oh, you can eat soup and breadsticks, you cheap sons of some old man.

[John Holmberg]

Fork and knife.

[Brett Vesely]

Just brought me here to suffer and die. Now this one says anyone who is antinatalist should be forced to work on a Mexican navy ship and give them something else to be pissed about. Oh, well, there's suffering there too. You never know when it's gonna end. But that's somebody who doesn't understand how to cope with the inevitabilities of dying. And it's probably all encompassing every single day that today might be your last. Last, and today might be your last. There's some psychological crazy going on there, but it's not just him. This is just the first time any of us have heard of antinatalists. It's a thing they have. They have paperwork and website stuff says how can the embryo ever give consent? What if it wants to consent? It's kind of bold of him to assume it doesn't. That's true too. Maybe an embryo would answer the question with, heck yeah, Love to be people. So he wants the embryo to sign an NDA, saying, look, you know, you know what's gonna. It's like a. Like a freak out, a freak off. You know, when you get here, things are gonna get weird. Like when you come out of the hole and already, I'm telling you right now, your. Your next nine months are a Journey in themselves. And then you pop out of a woman's genitals. I know, it's alien, weird crap. Crap. And then the real fun begins. And then you just. You go along and you take your chances every day. And you die someday. We don't know when or how. Are you willing to do that? I might tell the. I might not sign that paper if I was an embryo. Be like, explain this again. Yeah, you're gonna live in here for nine months. Pretty good. Depends on what your mom's up to. Hopefully she's not a smoker or a drinker. Then you're just gonna tumble out of her. How? Her vagina, which is just about the size of three fingers across. A good one. That thing's gonna open up to great gaps. You're gonna cause immense pain. You're gonna fall out of this lady. She'll never be the same again, by the way. Her husband will say it is, but he's gonna leave in a couple years. He's never, never, ever the same again, ever. And maybe she'll have a C section, but that's just a woman failing at being a woman. We all saw the main.

[Brady]

Oh.

[Brett Vesely]

And then try to keep straight.

[Brady]

When you're coming out.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, don't ball up, don't fall up. That's like one of the worst things you can do. It's not. You're not. You're not scoring points. There's no judges. Just javelin your way out of this thing. I know you don't know what a javelin is yet, but here, sign here. And promise me you're going head first, too, because otherwise. Otherwise she's got to have a hand in her to spin you around. Head first, brother. All right. And then. Then you're human and you're out. And about 80 years are going to pass, and then you're inevitably going to get something terrible. It's going to start eating your bones and you're going to die, probably in your own feces. Yen, what's going to happen in between that?

[Brady]

Sign me up.

[Brett Vesely]

The birth and the ending. Oh, you're going to meet tons of people and a lot of them are going to disappoint you. It's not going to be great. And then you probably have a neighbor that won't leave you alone. You're gonna want to move. Then there's gonna be a couple other things that go on your work. You're gonna hate pretty much 80% of the people at work.

[Brady]

You're gonna get sick at a couple of 10 cent rig nights.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you're gonna be poor for a while. That happens to all of us. And more than likely, you're gonna go through a few medical procedures. It's not good. None of it's good. But do you. I don't want to do this. Like, I think if, like, in hindsight I'd be like, I don't know.

[Brady]

It's just like I was saying that when you join a fraternity, if you knew what you had to do.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but it's a choice.

[Brady]

You have no idea.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep, that's the point.

[Brady]

And then afterwards, you're like, you had a choice.

[Brett Vesely]

I would not have done that. Fraternity things like, wait a minute. In order to have friends, I got to pay you guys. You treat me like garbage for a while. Oh.

[Brady]

Huh.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. I'll go find better friends. You're a bunch of lunk heads. I'm done with you. Imagine that. I ended up with friends anyway. It was incredible. Never once did I have to get blindfolded with a thumb up my ass eating Limburger cheese just to make friends. It's strange, but some people like it. Oh, also, there's a chance here that none of this goes right while you're in the lady. And you got something called mental retardation. And that's the thing. We're like, you're gonna be, oh, good news about that is you probably only live to be like 40. So most of the suffering is while you're alive, but it ends fast. You cool with that? Spina bifida, sids. Are you interested? What are the benefits? Oh, you could have a glorious life. Like, 3% of people have really good ones. Geez, maybe I am anti nihilist. Natalist. I think I'd be all right, like, signing up, knowing what I know now. Yeah, do this. This all right. It's kind of fun. Let's see how it ends. But I think if you certain people's lives, I wouldn't have done it. No way. I guess a good majority of people I'd meet be like, nah, if I had it to do over again, I'd have told the lawyers in the womb, I'm not interested. Just, let's terminate this. I'm antinatalist. Like als. Matt, man. I mean, would he sign the NDA going in. I'd do this all over again.

[John Holmberg]

Not me or Brady's Kenny Loggins guy from.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, that lump of cake batter with a head.

[John Holmberg]

Where do I sign that dude's?

[Brett Vesely]

You telling me he's antinatalist or not antinatal? If that dude could squid over snail over to a fertility clinic, you know he'd blow himself up. Too antinatalist. There's a bunch of people.

[John Holmberg]

I never heard of it till now.

[Brett Vesely]

Me neither. Caleb. You think Caleb gets the. The, you know, little warning in the womb? Here's how it's gonna go for you. Oh, no, thank you.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna be hawking adorable blankets for the rest of your life.

[Brett Vesely]

You're gonna chair. If the wind blows hard, your bones shatter.

[Brady]

It's good at that.

[John Holmberg]

That he is.

[Brett Vesely]

He's great at that. He's made lemonade out of it. But for every Caleb, there's like all of the other ones that hate it. I guarantee, if you gave Caleb the chance, you. He goes on TV bragging about his 219 surgeries.

[Wayne]

Once the air conditioner came on, my arms shattered like glass.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, why?

[Wayne]

It was a little heavy breeze.

[Brett Vesely]

Jesus Christ. You like this? Nope.

[Wayne]

I'm always cold.

[Brett Vesely]

He can't even have the adorable blanket on him. It's too heavy. It smashes his ribs.

[Wayne]

My brittle bones can't have this heavy, adorable blanket.

[Brett Vesely]

Anyway, Antinatalist. That's the thing. Get used to it. Get used to it, because now that it's happened once, the news is going to look at this like I did and what the hell is this? This is the thing. Sure is. I don't know. They got a lot of them, but now that it's out there, I bet you there's gonna be a bunch of. Look, there's jackasses who are for hamas on our college campuses. They didn't even know where it was before all this. You tell them about antinatalism, they're gonna lose their minds going, yeah, that's right. The baby never had a choice. Oh, no, you're those. Did you ever throw that at Bunny and Torp at any point?

[Wayne]

I didn't ask to be here.

[Brett Vesely]

I guarantee you. Kirby said. Said it. It's youthful.

[Brady]

I've never said it.

[Brett Vesely]

I ask Ronnie it. Maybe not to you, but I guarantee every kid says that.

[John Holmberg]

Why would. Why would Kirby say that? Anything Kirby wants, Kirby gets no way.

[Brett Vesely]

For a while there when she sent her to public school and she lost her mind for a second, I guarantee it. Ronnie heard a. I didn't ask to be here.

[Brady]

She cried her way back.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I'm sure in. In tears was. I didn't even. I have. I didn't ask to be here. Every kid tries that. They think it's an original. I didn't. You didn't Try it.

[John Holmberg]

No, I knew better. I knew better.

[Brett Vesely]

I heard it from other people everybo.

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't.

[Brett Vesely]

I guarantee you. You're forgetting, at one point when you were like four, you shouted something like that. This isn't fair. These are jerks. I didn't ask to be here. Every kid's done it and it's the dumbest thing kids do. And we think we're, you know, Marcus Aurelius. We think of philosophers when we come up with it like it's an original thought. This dude took it into his 20s. Whoever has to be here, I'm an antinatalist. It'll be a movie and then everybody's gonna know anyway. At 7:25, let's get a wake up song.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do that.

[Brett Vesely]

585-9800. We're still here. We're alive. Making the most of this inevitable trip down the lane of time. The inevitable march of the called time that sends us to our dirty grave. But while we're here, let's have some fun. You're jerk. Bert. What do you got?

[John Holmberg]

All right, Wake up song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And you know it's time to get those bikes ready to go. I mean it's still, still nice weather out right now, so. So head on out to the Hawes Trail and make sure you hit the brand new location of Action Ride Shop right there on power Road and McDowell. You want to rent a bike, you want to buy a bike, you need to get that old bike fixed. They're going to take care of you as well as don't forget the OG location if you're heading over to South Mountain stuff a little bit closer. All right there on Gilbert Road and Southern Action Ride Shop has it all. Actionrideshop.com on the list. Pantera, Trivium, Cinderella, Harvey Danger, Flagpole sitter for the Mask, Cornslow Rider, Ozzy.

[Brett Vesely]

We're doing Harvey Danger. There's no reason to go on. Why wouldn't we? The flagpole sitter up in the mast. Now that dude, that flagpole sitting wasn't on a. On a boat. But it would have worked in this particular case. And I just want to hear. That was a game they played in the 20s. They'd sit on flag poles for days. And you know what? I never read about when Flagpole Sita came out. I worked at the radio station that played this song song a lot and love it or hate it, it's catchy. You can't help. You can't help it. We did it for Night of the Singing Dead last year.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody die in that band?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, we found a guy, he fell off a flag thorough road.

[John Holmberg]

He died or something.

[Brett Vesely]

Somebody died. And we're like, hey, that's one. That's a fun one. The crowd just goes bananas. It's a dopey, fun song. But I remember when it came out, I'm like, what is a flagpole set? Because we all thought that was a reference to homosexuality. That was what our guess was. And this was right around when the Internet got going. So all the info wasn't there. So you had to rely on what the band said. And then there's pictures of guys just sitting on flagpoles like that's it.

[Brady]

And they put a chair on the top.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they would have a chair on top of it. And the flag pulls a ball and he'd just sit up there like balancing for days. And people were entertained by that because our ancestors were really dumb and easily entertain. Like a. Like we are the. I'm gonna go ahead and say that.

[Brady]

We keep it up pretty quick.

[Brett Vesely]

No, we're dumb. We're dumb.

[Brady]

Challenges.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, we're pretty dumb. I'll say the last two generations are the only ones that have had their wits about them. Prior to that, everybody was probably would test as in today's modern era. My grandparents were. I think my dogs might be a little smarter than my grandparents. I think they've had better exposure to the world than. Yeah, my grandparents. They just. They weren't my. Especially the ones from Sweden. They were singular focused worker bees. Not a lot of interest outside of their little circle. They were dumb people. Simple, they called it back then. It's a simple. They're a simple people way of life. Simple. No, they were just dumb. It was a simpler way of life because they were too stupid to have any complex ways of life. Any complexities that came Alvar's way, whether he just starts swinging, start hitting stuff.

[Brady]

And it wasn't simple as far as that.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, it was. It was physically demanding. Simplicity. Yeah. But it was basically lift this heavy thing and put it over there. They were strong, but they were dumb. You know who else gets described that way? Down syndrome. That's my grandparents. I'm not, you know, I'm not wrong. I'm not a scientist, but that's. You can't argue that. If they weren't, they'd be in their own. They'd be in all the normal classes. Now. My grandpa had a sixth grade education and they're like, you don't need this Pick some stuff up and move it over there. And he started doing that with polio in one Good owner the flagpole said it was kind of thing. And I never once read about a guy who fell off and there had to be ludles of them there.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

But they always had the successful stories and then the pictures of the guy sitting on top. They never had the dudes who fell off the flag poles. And there was no practice. Like dudes would just shimmy up that thing and say, today's the day. I'm going to be a flagpole sit up. It's a catchy little number, though. I'll tell you.

[John Holmberg]

Want to do that?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Heck yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Harvey Danger. It's also a great band name because.

[John Holmberg]

This was in American Pie. Right. I think that's where the song really got popular.

[Brett Vesely]

Probably Most of the 90s good stuff was in that movie. Including Tara Reid, who's now so goofy looking that when they put. When she posts stuff, it only lasts a couple minutes before it's taken down. Because everybody goes, what happened? She gets very upset when people ask what happened? But she keeps showing us. And the thing that happened is 26 years, you want to see American Pie terrorists Reid. And you haven't seen much of her other than Sharknado. You haven't seen much of Tara Reid in those 27 years. So you tack 27 years on in a day and you're gonna ask what happened? Like, if you haven't seen me for 27 years and you see me today, it's not good. But it's close. A woman. It's not fair. It's not fair.

[Brady]

I just asked how many people died. Flagpole 6 fitting said it's unknown, but it went competition in the 20s all the way up to the 70s. The most documented one was 1974. Richard Dixie Blandy who died and the collapse underneath him. The flagpole did.

[Brett Vesely]

He was so heavy. The flagpole broke.

[Brady]

Yeah. It looks like the big Was this beast.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. How does a flagpole break in the 70s? Was it made of wicker? You get it. Appear one. That's not a flagpole. That's a stick.

[Brady]

He chose poorly.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm climbing that and I'm sitting on it. I wouldn't do that. That's made of balsa wood. You're too heavy, Richard. I'm doing it. My name isn't. Whatever it is. There he is sitting up on top of a stick in the middle of like an oil field. Like, it's never in a city. Like, where is it that's in the city. Oh, is it? It looked like just a slew of.

[Brady]

Just whatever BF is.

[Brett Vesely]

Hold on.

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. What bs.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's a flagpole sitter right there.

[Brady]

Best friend we know.

[John Holmberg]

Is that what you're going with?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I'm gonna go. Option B is worse. Wow.

[Brady]

This was in that said it was in the 70s. The Phoenix man who broke the flagpole sitting record.

[Brett Vesely]

There you go, kid. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

We're number one again.

[Brett Vesely]

This was a dusty desert town for rude up until like 1998. I'm guessing prior to that, Wallace and Ladmo were popular. It was a. It was a redneck hillbilly town for slow desert kids. Which is why they all thought Pat McMahon was hilarious. They could keep up with it. Somewhere in the 80s, things started to change a little. The 90s, we became metropolitan. In the late 90s, we're like, this is an actual town of human beings. Beings. We all grew up in it. Brett, you were here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

This was a rude town. It was a really weird city.

[Brady]

Looks like he's from Phoenix, but he did it in Boston.

[Brett Vesely]

Ah, good. He was traveling Flag puls. Anyway. Well, I like it. It's Harvey Danger and we're thinking about if there was a dude sitting on top of that Mexican navy ship going bridge, that's all it would have taken. We needed a flagpole sitter on there. And I'd like some video of some of the failed flagpole sitters if we ever get a chance. This came out in 97, right before Phoenix became a real thing. It's Harvey Danger. It's your wake up song and you did this to yourselves. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect. 98. Are you looking for your next career opportunity? Interested in a position at one of the most state of the art steel mills in the world? World CMC is hiring immediately at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. Open positions with a $5,000 sign on bonus include automation specialists, industrial electricians and industrial mechanics. Join the next generation of steel makers and help keep our electrical operators and machinery running smoothly here at CMC Steel Arizona in Mesa. To get started, visit jobs.cmc.com CMC is an equal opportunity employer still streaming Homebrew morning sickness [e-mail] before we get going, Ashley from Goodyear. I did my apology and it worked. Apologize to the people at Native New Yorker, said John. I worked at Native New Yorker for eight years. I started when I was 17 as a hostess, worked my way up to management. I am now 37, with a whole head of gray hair. I was there when they went from 10 cent to 35 cent wings. I was young and dumb, and I don't wish that on anybody, Ashley, to you. Even though I'd never go to the one in Goodyear. I apologize. It's terrible what we did to those waiters and waitresses and 35 cents. I remember there was an uprising. Wings. Can't just bump them up to 35 cents. Well, we're gonna do that because we're getting our asses kicked down here. Well, I'm not coming anymore. Thank God. Thank God we didn't realize that our cries. Our cries of 35 cents is too much. Was the happiest day in native New Yorker history. So sorry to all whom I have wrecked. I feel bad about it. My guilt, rage. You went over there and you were at Gilbert High, did you? The one on University or which one? They didn't.

[John Holmberg]

No, we normally went to the one right on Gilbert.

[Brett Vesely]

In that strip mall.

[John Holmberg]

No, we didn't go to that one. We went to the one because I had friends. I had friends in the Mesa area, too. So we'd usually meet up at the one on Elma. School and Warner.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. I watched the OJ Chase in an apartment in Mesa. And then we went to the Native over there on Brown or whatever it was. I don't remember. It was up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, Brown and like Mesa Drive or something.

[Brett Vesely]

Surreal. Just face full of wing sauce and fingers covered in red, watching OJ Drive around. Pretty neat. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news and all this on Nicole's birthday. Happy birthday to Nicole Simpson. She's. She didn't make it, but she's 66 today. I think. That's great. Not sure how she died. I have to Wikipedia that, but add a feeling. Ladies and gentlemen, O.J. simpson. Hello, Twitter world. How you doing? It's yours truly. Hey, Brady, it's my wife's birthday. What should I get her? I'm thinking a little super glue. That would be a good one. I hear that stops wounds. They use it in war. Anyway, I just thought I'd pop by and tell everybody. I heard Holmberg talking about Megan's birthday last week and how he got her eight grand brand at the casino after a big win, which is lucky. That's good luck right there. You know what I got my wife for her last birthday?

[John Holmberg]

What's that?

[Brett Vesely]

Cutlery. Let me say we used it I'm just saying Happy birthday. 66 years old. And you know what? Some people say what I did, I mean what happened to her back in the 90s was cruel, but you know what I mean. Stopped Brady.

[Brady]

When was that?

[Brett Vesely]

I stopped her from becoming a 66 year old woman, which I think is a gift. Thanks, J. I gave her her 66th birthday present back in 1994. So you don't want to see yourself in 66. It isn't going to get better, that's for sure. I'm actually one of those antinatalists, But I wait 34 years to do it. Anyway, I just thought I'd pop by and say happy birthday to my wife and hopefully she appreciates. I haven't seen her for a while. I thought she'd be down here, but she hasn't popped by.

[Brady]

I don't know why I'm hanging out.

[Brett Vesely]

At her porch every night. She just doesn't come out. Never answers her door. I think she's got triggers. Just saying. You heard me. Brett's not.

[Brady]

See you. Just.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, I gotta go. I'll talk to you guys later. I'm just saying Happy birthday, Nicole. All right. That isn't right.

[John Holmberg]

It's a matter of her being ungrateful.

[Brady]

Right?

[Brett Vesely]

She should have been more grateful for that gift. Stopped her from aging because he gave the ultimate anti aging serum to Nicole. And that's what women are always looking for. I see the commercials. You want to stop aging? OJ did. You won't look a day over 34 for the rest of your life. Anyway, it's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady gives. And it's called the Brady Report. Brought to you by all Pro Shade Concepts Steps. That's Arizona's best patio shades. The heat's coming. The sun's out a lot. If you've got an area you'd like to sit in more but it's too sunny. You can drop the temperatures up to 20 degrees and have an outdoor room with a simple attachment of a shade. That's it. And you can have TVs on your back patio that don't glare when the sun hits them. If you've got east west exposure, you can get knocked out by that. These things are perfect for that. Wind blows a little bit and they suck themselves in. In. Don't you wish you could do that? AllProchades.com that's where you go. AllProchade.com I should say Brady Report it.

[Brady]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world Hi. Happy National Devil's Food Cake Day.

[Brett Vesely]

I was a fan of that when I was a kid. I don't think I could eat it now.

[Dick Toledo]

That chocolate.

[Brett Vesely]

It's chocolate moist, that really spongy.

[Brady]

No, no, that's angel's food.

[Brett Vesely]

No, angel is the white one.

[Brady]

Devil's food's not. Devil's food is dense.

[Dick Toledo]

It's don't challenge.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I'm not.

[John Holmberg]

How dare you, sir.

[Brady]

Chocolate.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought the devil's food with the like, it has that Oreo filling in the middle. And they sold them as hostess cakes.

[Brady]

Yeah, they might. I mean but. But it's not a. It's not a spongy cake.

[Brett Vesely]

Wait, the gross one is the devil's food. That's the one that had that chocolate hard chocolate outside shell. Like Little Debbie's made those.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And the inside is that gross ass bad.

[John Holmberg]

I think zingers were.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. It's the dirty poor people chicken chocolate. That's right.

[Dick Toledo]

Zingers were delicious.

[Brett Vesely]

Exactly. I was right. It followed up a Salisbury steak tremendously in Toledo's night. Apple cobbler. Cobbler. A zinger and some Salisbury and you're in heaven.

[Dick Toledo]

I even eat my carrots and peas.

[Brett Vesely]

I. I was enjoying 10 cent wings and I still wasn't poor enough to enjoy that. That's right. You're right. It was those zingers.

[Brady]

A couple of basis fun facts. As of 2022, the 4 minute mile mark has been broken by at least 1755 athletes since it was achieved first in 1954 by Roger Bannister. That translates to an average speed of 15 miles per hour.

[Brett Vesely]

Incredible.

[Brady]

But no woman has yet to run a format right.

[Brett Vesely]

Because they're not good enough.

[Brady]

The world record is currently 4 minutes and 7.64 seconds.

[Brett Vesely]

They're not even close.

[Brady]

7 seconds off. Yeah. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And we're talking hundreds and tenths of seconds having to be shaved to break records. They're seven seconds away.

[Brady]

That's an e. That happened in July of 2023.

[Brett Vesely]

407 is the woman record.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Ladies, come on.

[Brady]

Well, and that's to the. Yeah. Even breaking the four minute mile, I. I don't know what.

[Brett Vesely]

They're 100 years away.

[Brady]

Current world record is.

[Brett Vesely]

I think it's like 356 or something. It's low.

[Brady]

355.

[Brett Vesely]

I think you shave like a second off every seven or eight years. They're not even close.

[Brady]

The US used to have more time zones than we do have now. A lot more. In the early 1800s, cities could set their own Time. Based on the sun, there were 144 separate time zones. We got down to four by 1883.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Once people started to travel.

[Brady]

The first hardcore porn movie ever is from 1915. It's called a Free Ride. This guy going down a rural road picks up two women who need a ride and the porn ensues.

[Brett Vesely]

Even 1915 porn makes Brady uncomfortable.

[Wayne]

And then porn ensues.

[Brett Vesely]

I can't imagine how dirty that is, though. Just be looking. Looks like a after, you know, because the grainy footage and like everything. If they did a po. Yeah, it'd be really fast. Like a POV angle would just look like a dude banging a tumbleweed. Why is he putting a stick in that tumbleweed? Oh my God, that's a woman. Did they not have razors or scissors? The groundhog, Seeing Shadow or Pride. There's gonna be a bear in that thing. The last 1915, point my grandpa was seven.

[Brady]

The last word in the Oxford English Dictionary is Ziziva. It's a type of tropical weevil in South America.

[Dick Toledo]

Think of the advancements in eight years though, for your granddad, you know, by the time he got 15.

[Brett Vesely]

And oh, when he started to go, yeah, real porn. That thing, you put it.

[Dick Toledo]

Nickelodeon or whatever.

[Brett Vesely]

1915 porn. I saw my grandma get out of the bathtub in 1980 and she was of that time. She was born in 1912, so. Taught nothing by the generation before her. As far as keeping that together, it was horrifying.

[Brady]

A new poll of working Adults found that 93% of us check our email every day, including 88% who even check it on vacation. Only 6% don't check it every day.

[Dick Toledo]

It's on our phones. It makes it kind of hard not to. Unless you're those people that have like 13,000 unread emails.

[Brady]

20% check their email at least 20 times a day.

[Brett Vesely]

I have 321, 868 unread emails. But I just won another major award. I believe I've won an espresso.

[Dick Toledo]

Nice.

[Brett Vesely]

So I'm going to send over some information to those people.

[Dick Toledo]

It's about time you got a new card.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the. The generator is still not here, but there's a guy up in North Scottsdale says it's cut.

[Dick Toledo]

It's tariffs, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, the tariffs, yeah, it's down there. I think it's still trapped in the Suez Canal from a couple of years ago.

[Brady]

This happened back in March, but the police here in Arizona just released the body cam footage of a chaotic scene after someone responded To a call about a small child running around a parking lot alone. It was around 11pm Witnesses say they didn't see any parents around. And when they asked the girl where they. Where they were, where her parents were, she didn't know. She did lead them to the car where there were three more kids. Two were strapped in car seats. When the cops showed up. They found all four kids. The oldest one being four and the youngest being an infant. Also a large bag of weed in the car.

[Brett Vesely]

Of course inevitable.

[Brady]

They searched nearby businesses for the parents. Took about an hour. They finally found them. They decided to go to a bar.

[Dick Toledo]

For a couple hours or they're making a bulk deal for all the kids in the weed together.

[John Holmberg]

It could be damn kids are pissing them off.

[Brett Vesely]

They are post anti natal.

[Dick Toledo]

I said I don't have to be here.

[Brett Vesely]

I wasn't asking to be here. Okay, we'll take care of that. I am now a after effect antinatalist.

[Brady]

Did you see the big prison break over the weekend?

[Brett Vesely]

Loads of them got out crossing freeways and they had video of them doing everything.

[Brady]

Everything got out. They. They got two later that night. Yeah, they had about a 12 or 15 hour experience, but eight are still.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

At large.

[Brett Vesely]

The fun thing was watching the dude in charge when they were asking like, how'd this happen? And he goes, it was a. We dropped the ball. And then he said, was there nobody for hours on end watching any of the cameras or surveillance? And he goes, there's over 900 cameras. Cameras. And the guy asking questions didn't follow up. I was very brady angry at him. And I'm like, right there, there's 900 cameras and you lost them. I'm not saying he had to watch the guy basically saying, we got too many cameras to watch. We can't keep up with this. Like you have 900 cameras and that's your excuse as to why you couldn't see them leaving. There's too much to monitor.

[Brady]

There's the picture of the hole and you can see they wrote something, some notes to the, the guards. But you see the typo. They're too easy. Lol. But it's to.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it's to too easy. The destination of easy. But that's what I loved was the, the excuse of why we lost him was it was like, have you seen that scene in Batman where Morgan Freeman had all those cell phones to monitor? He couldn't keep up. That's us. You have 900 cameras and you still lost them because the dude watching cameras was watching landman on one of the TVs.

[John Holmberg]

And I'd rather watch the cameras.

[Brett Vesely]

Me, too. It made me giggle because. And then they said it's an inside job. You think they unscrewed half of a wall.

[Dick Toledo]

For 20 as much unscrewing? I think the just came.

[Brett Vesely]

Caulk.

[Dick Toledo]

Caulk, caul just came. Came loose.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, they peeled off the toilet and then squeezed out. But they did it.

[Brady]

There's other pictures. They show the back of it. It's just.

[Brett Vesely]

It's gross what they crawl through.

[Dick Toledo]

Of course.

[Brett Vesely]

Andy dufresne crawled to 400 yards of the foulest filth anyone could imagine.

[Dick Toledo]

Ask all of them.

[Brett Vesely]

Worth it. You come out smell like a rose. Would you do it? Stay in jail or crawl through four football fields of feces? Of prison feces. You'd stay in jail. Look at you.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe I'd stop through the. I'd stop through the poo.

[John Holmberg]

I'm crawling through ass.

[Brett Vesely]

Me, too. I'm not staying. Jail. Three hots and a cot and anal sex till your eyes pop out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, now you're changing his mind.

[Dick Toledo]

Man, you are so pure.

[Wayne]

Some good food in jail. Yeah, a lot of those guys don't finish their meals.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady's nickname in jail would be Cookie.

[Wayne]

I'm going to work the kitchen, guys.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[Wayne]

My name's Cookie.

[Brett Vesely]

What are you in for?

[Wayne]

I volunteered.

[Brady]

You mean you were out five years ago?

[Wayne]

Three free meals? Are you crazy? I go to the parole board and just start jerking off?

[Brett Vesely]

They.

[Wayne]

They will never let me out.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady, you want to be in on a skate tonight?

[Wayne]

How you getting out?

[Brett Vesely]

Got to crawl through the sewer.

[Wayne]

N. Negatory.

[Brett Vesely]

Hard.

[Wayne]

No. No, sir.

[Brett Vesely]

Why you guys leaving?

[Wayne]

There's three free meals a day.

[Brady]

Got three Montana National Guardsmen that are in trouble for trespassing. They were flying in their, uh, 60 Black Hawk helicopter over someone's private property. One of them noticed a rack of elk antlers down there, so they landed it on the property, picked up the antlers, and then the Game and Wildlife got involved because evidently those antlers are worth several thousand dollars.

[Brett Vesely]

Really?

[Dick Toledo]

They are?

[Brett Vesely]

Antlers to. Who is that? Like a baseball card Says it's got value, but you try to sell it, it's impossible.

[Dick Toledo]

People make all kinds of crap out of them.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but not for a thousand bucks a pop. I've seen the end result. It's usually a bad throne that isn't a thousand dollars. And there's 20 antlers on there. No, they.

[Dick Toledo]

They do like antler inlay on. On all kinds of things like knives and things like that.

[Brett Vesely]

I've seen.

[Dick Toledo]

You gotta think about a giant rack of, like, elk.

[John Holmberg]

Giant rack.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Dick Toledo]

How much you can make out of that?

[John Holmberg]

Make a hat, a brooch, Pterodactyl.

[Brady]

If you're looking for a naked race this weekend, I want to run a 5k naked.

[Brett Vesely]

This is disgusting.

[Brady]

Carolina Foothills Resort. Oh, nudist resort in Spartanburg County, South Carolina. It's called the Buck Creek Streak. It's 5K. Already has a record high number of people registered June 14th.

[Brett Vesely]

Not everyone will.

[Brady]

It is clothing but still optional.

[Brett Vesely]

Some will remember that lady with the hanging down Arby's thing we saw in Brett's video? Imagine her rain running. Oh. Oh. I'd rather eat at Brady's prison restaurant.

[Brady]

Still have time to sign up.

[Wayne]

Hey, warden, it's Brady. I just thought I'd pop in here. I got an idea. You know, the prisoners get that three hots and a cot thing, but some of these guys get a little peckish around 11am how about a prison brunch? You think old Cookie could whip up some charcuterie?

[Brett Vesely]

Give me a board.

[Wayne]

Give me a board. And give me some of the finer. Jesus. Cookie's gonna make a charcuterie.

[Dick Toledo]

You wanna eat that, Brady?

[Brady]

You kidding? They can make some sweet charcuterie boards in prison.

[Wayne]

Attention all prisoners. Cookie has started brunch. The Mexicans will eat at 11:15. The white Aryan Nation at 11:35. The normal time for the blacks. Breakfast is still 12:20pm.

[Brady]

Huh?

[Brett Vesely]

Cookie knows us. I love you, Cookie.

[Wayne]

Right back at you, Lamont. He's a murderer.

[Brett Vesely]

Cool. He's got my cool. Wow.

[Wayne]

You kill all those people and you think I'm a good cook?

[Brady]

Yelling at. What do you smoke for?

[Brett Vesely]

Knock that off. Quit it.

[Brady]

Arizona's Petrified Forest national park is trying to bring some attention to its funding efforts by showing us old twerking videos of Megan Thee Stallion.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The clips are being shared on Tick Tock, hoping to go viral. After the twerking footage, they'll advertise the annual park Pass, which is 80 bucks.

[Brett Vesely]

That's smart. That's what people want.

[Brady]

They're using sexual innuendos. Stuff like, petrified Forest is here to rock your world. And yes, the wood is still hard after 200 million years. The wood is so rock solid, it's basically nature's Viagra.

[Brett Vesely]

It's weird when you say it. You say it with a furrowed eyebrow and kind of angry.

[Dick Toledo]

You don't have the view I do of his old school Shakey's Pizza shirt.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I know, it's just a weird delivery. Like A kid from 78 just came in, tried to read to us.

[Brady]

Shakies.

[Wayne]

Shaky's Pizza.

[Dick Toledo]

That's a great shirt by the way.

[Wayne]

Attention all prisoners. I've gotten my hands on some Shaky's Pizza. You can say Cookie later.

[Brady]

Shaky Johnson.

[Wayne]

It is limited to just the first 20 people that come in.

[Brett Vesely]

So sorry.

[Wayne]

Only giving this to death row today.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Wayne]

We don't want to piss them off. You guys know already. Anyway. Cookie over now.

[Brett Vesely]

Who gave him access to the pa?

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know, but I love it.

[Brett Vesely]

Cookie. No. Brady. Brady. Brady. Cookie would be great. Hberg's morning sickness. Morning sickness. Hol's morning sickness.

[Brady]

A few weeks ago, some someone set up a cliff bed in China which allows thrill seekers a chance to sleep on a bed that's perched 330ft off the ground. It's only $13.50 a night.

[Brett Vesely]

That's amazing. And do you. You.

[Brady]

You have to clip yourself in?

[Brett Vesely]

You clip into this bed that hangs off the edge of the mountain. This is when those free climbers of those giant mountains camp. They put a bed in a tent on the side of the hill. It looks. I don't know how they do it. Do it. It's kind of neat. But I don't know how you get up there.

[Dick Toledo]

The stairs.

[Brett Vesely]

That girl did not climb a thing.

[Brady]

No, but they have those. Their metal.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I would do those. That looks fun.

[Dick Toledo]

Look at all those rungs.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but I'm not climbing that thing. You're hovering me down, right?

[Dick Toledo]

No, you're climbing it.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm not climbing that.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, you are.

[Brett Vesely]

How do I get down? Same way. Nope. I'm getting hooked in and I'm getting hooked out. You can dangle me off the bottom of a. Of a helicopter. I'll do that.

[Wayne]

Tonight, prisoners, I'd just like to announce that it's all proteins. It's Brady. Cookie Bogan's. No greens mile for all of us tonight. We're never gonna eat vegetables again. If my promise to you or my name's not Cookie Bogan.

[Dick Toledo]

Carnivore diet, Cookie.

[Wayne]

All carnivore diets.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh yeah.

[Wayne]

Cookie Souffle greens make all the prisoners mad. We're not here to lose weight. We want some protein for when we get out on the yard.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Wayne]

How are you talking to me? I'm on a pa. Quit asking questions.

[Brett Vesely]

Cookie Bogan, the volunteer prisoner.

[Brady]

I love that food.

[Wayne]

I love it here. This kitchen's huge.

[Dick Toledo]

Why would I go anywhere?

[Wayne]

Not Going anywhere. You know how bad life was for me on the outside? I had to pay for food.

[Dick Toledo]

Had a daughter.

[Brady]

Hey. Hey.

[Brett Vesely]

A new friend. Yeah, man.

[Wayne]

Watch in for chief.

[Brett Vesely]

I killed my wife and kids.

[Wayne]

Well, they probably had it coming. Tell me, what do you eat normally? I'll put it on the menu.

[Brett Vesely]

I eat the flesh of human beings.

[Wayne]

It's gonna be a tall order. See what I can do.

[Brady]

You're innocent, right? Yes.

[Wayne]

Yeah, I haven't met a guilty guy in here at all. This place is a travesty. But it's a well fed one.

[Brady]

First radio video is a guy laying on the street saying, I think I have a broken leg.

[Brett Vesely]

He's in the road.

[Brady]

Maybe more.

[Brett Vesely]

He's in the road.

[Brady]

In the road.

[Brett Vesely]

Shouting.

[Brady]

No, he's not shouting that, but.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, he's just laying there.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, his leg is definitely. Definitely got to pull several elbows and knees just moments earlier. Did not. It's not supposed to bend 5 inches above the ankle that way. No.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not supposed to be higher than his waist.

[Brett Vesely]

No. Right. Yeah. And yeah, your foot is never supposed to touch your armpit.

[Dick Toledo]

Nope.

[Brett Vesely]

From behind.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Nope.

[Brady]

He's got two added shins.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow. Yeah, he's got. Oof. He's like a Rubik's snake. He just. You can twist him all over. Wow. That's the most broken leg I've ever seen on a guy. Trying to get up.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Just lay down. You're gonna be all right.

[Dick Toledo]

You got some hip dysplasia, sir.

[Brett Vesely]

Gonna need a screw. All right. It's like I have a sun shirt on.

[Brady]

It did look like it at first. It's not.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's.

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought it was a Phoenix Suns thing. By the way, big news in Sunstown. The guy that's suing the Suns has made the claim.

[Dick Toledo]

Which one? There's like four.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, there's a new one, though. The CEO, Josh Bartelstein. Stein. Big, kind of a chunky. He looks like a Frank Caliendo when he was fat. Nice guy. I've met him twice. He wouldn't remember, but super nice. He's in the rah rah room a lot. The employee that's suing the Suns is saying, and also, by the way, I know that Josh Bartle. Steven was Sophie Cunningham. So the accusation of this, and the only thing I get from that is that Sophie's up for grabs because this dude's nothing to look at. So it's not like her tastes are.

[Dick Toledo]

But you said that. You said she put herself out there. Open for dating or something.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but she's not chubby, dudes. He's got money, so, I mean, that changes everything. But. Yeah, they're saying that there's a. Allegedly an inappropriate sexual relationship with Sophie Cunningham. That's what this person. Person's saying made it a weird workplace. And then Sophie got shipped out of town. But if she's banging Josh Bartlestein, we've all got a shot, at least physically, because it's not like this guy's. It looks like John Jay before all the weight loss and surgery and stuff.

[Dick Toledo]

How'd she do in her first three games, you follow?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, she's hurt. She's injured.

[Dick Toledo]

Damn it.

[Brady]

Got the Bartlestein limp.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Evidently her hips have been splayed out too much. She's doing the splits too often, said the coach.

[Brady]

The next one's a dude leaving an apartment patio after some heavy drinking. He's gonna. He's gonna feel this one for a couple.

[Dick Toledo]

Leaving. Oh, I guess he is leaving.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, jumped off the patio onto what? Outside of a truck. Oh, that's just a storage thing.

[Brady]

Just put the taint right on the fence.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, what was.

[Dick Toledo]

What was the goal?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I don't know what he was trying to accomplish there, but he's just trying to hit the roof and he's.

[John Holmberg]

Trying to jump over to it or.

[Brady]

Something on the roof of whatever that is. The tough shed.

[Brett Vesely]

Ouch.

[Wayne]

By the way, prisoners, I just like to say that there's been a really graphic misunderstanding of what I meant when I said I would smoke meat tonight.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Wayne]

Please step away from my cell and let me get some rest.

[Brett Vesely]

Cookie over.

[Wayne]

Now.

[Dick Toledo]

Why do they keep putting their wangs through the gates?

[Brady]

Sorry, cell block D.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, what else you got?

[Brady]

Last one's a guy peeping his head. I think he's taking a picture of the bed of the truck.

[Brett Vesely]

The bed of a truck. That's.

[Brady]

Watch this little clipping tilted down the.

[Brett Vesely]

Back end of the truck that's being. You know, the. They lift the. They drop all the sand or rocks. Yeah, it's a dump trailer. And then the back door. What's this dude doing? Truck backed up into it and smashes the thing closed and pinches his head off. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd be anti nihilist if I knew that was coming. You told me that as an embryo. Get your head pinched off by a dump truck bed when you're about 28. No, I'm not doing it.

[Brady]

Everyone falls for that truck prank.

[Brett Vesely]

Negative.

[Brady]

Hey, take a look at the bed there.

[Brett Vesely]

It's still.

[Brady]

It's new, guys.

[Brett Vesely]

If you knew that was your fate, would you have signed up as a Natalist if you had the lawyer in the.

[Brady]

Probably not.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I'd have probably said no. I'm skipping that. Get 28 years. 28 years.

[Dick Toledo]

Do I do anything in my early 20s?

[Brett Vesely]

Nothing of note. That's why you're working in a quarry. You work in a quarry, monitoring the rock.

[Dick Toledo]

Was I a popular kid in school?

[Brett Vesely]

Do you want to do the thing or not? These are dumb questions. Was I popular in school? You still get your head popped off by a truck. Yeah, but it'll be remembered by a lot. No, you won't. You worked in a quarry. You weren't that popular. You weren't that smart.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, I'm out.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. No, thanks. All right, Bert, what do you got?

[John Holmberg]

All right, I'm light today, but we'll get some in anyway.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what Sophie said.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, don't you talk about Sophie. She didn't do it with that big guy. Although he does have a lot of dough. I was going to say Carlstein's loaded.

[John Holmberg]

There's a guy on the ladder trying to work on some electrical, apparently.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, he just fell off. He's internally on fire. No need for that. Looks like you, Brett, got a suicidal tendency. And a skateboard. Oh, there's a second guy.

[Brady]

It looks like there's second guy over there.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. How about that? That? Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, they can't get close to that too, because of the way power radiates out from the ground.

[Brett Vesely]

No DIY electrical wire work on the poles, boys. That guy.

[John Holmberg]

Try this.

[Brett Vesely]

They didn't look official. Oh, boy. This is a street justice. Terrible nation of huts and dirt roads. They are putting old radials over the top of people in the middle of the street. Oh, and they lit them on fire. The tires are on fire. So they trap people inside old tires and then they light the tires on fire. And those ti. And now one guy escapes.

[John Holmberg]

Is this a game show?

[Brett Vesely]

One guy gets out of the tire and starts running into one of the huts. That is not.

[Brady]

That was not smart.

[Dick Toledo]

That's not smart.

[Brett Vesely]

What do you mean, that's not smart? That might be the dumbest thing on this show ever. That's not smart. He's not thinking. The guy on fire.

[Brady]

Would you man get your head together?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that was just dumb. When we lit you on fire, you ran into the house. Who does that?

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, it's not so hard for the villagers to light him on fire.

[Brett Vesely]

It's the not Smart to live there. We're not even talking about an IQ test.

[John Holmberg]

It's like living on the west side.

[Brett Vesely]

Just move. I don't know my neighborhood when we light someone on fire. Okay, there you go. Jump the gun on my comment. But that's all right. This guy's reaching into his own bottom and pooping in a bucket. And the bucket has a. Is that a big woman?

[John Holmberg]

That's a woman.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. She's diarrhea. Into a garbage bag. Into a. Like, a bathroom trash can.

[John Holmberg]

Corked herself.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, she pulled. Is that what that was? I thought she just had a clogger in there. And she.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Unleashed it.

[John Holmberg]

There we go.

[Brett Vesely]

That was it. We just watched an old lady take a dump.

[John Holmberg]

Told you. I was like, really?

[Brett Vesely]

You know that. That's. What.

[John Holmberg]

She's lighter now, too.

[Brett Vesely]

Devolved into an old lady pooping in the trash.

[Dick Toledo]

Could have done without that one.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brady]

The late.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow. All right. Thanks for that. There goes your Brady report, everybody. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 KPD still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98KUPD.com we have actual. I just saw this on the news. We have an actual sound from the Mexican Navy vessel that slammed into the. Here. This is real. This is on the boat. Just to wait and see me. Hey, what's that thing up ahead? Are we tall or what? This is beautiful.

[Wayne]

I love you for the Wall street shape Bridge.

[Brett Vesely]

Turn up the crisscross. We got to get out of here. Everybody swim. I know you guys know how.

[Brady]

Save the Bluetooth speaker.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they had a Bluetooth. I got it on jib jab. Man, this is good stuff. Anyway, I still think it's hilarious that the Mexican Navy boat that crashed had gigantic sound bales. It's a tall boat. I'm debating whether or not to do the Guadalupe replay today because it does make fun of Biden, and it's a little soon, but it also is something a thousand times more offensive. There you go. So I think that kind of like 30 seconds. Just teasing Biden at all about being, you know, as this seems. Seems to be less than cool. However, I mean, since when has that stopped us? It has, actually. Every time. I don't want to be disrespectful to a real thing, like joking around about something, something. But you don't want to kick a dude when he's down. But we could, and that's why we're number one in Cameroon.

[Dick Toledo]

Number two, right now with a bullet.

[Brett Vesely]

John, how many days old is the Guadalupe Arc Archive? Oh, a month, a week. Four days old already. Analytics have come back and you are listening to the number two downloaded podcast in all of Cameroon. We don't know how that happened either. Yeah. What is number one?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, I didn't. In my research. I forgot to look.

[Brett Vesely]

Why didn't you look at number one? We gotta see who.

[Dick Toledo]

I wanted to.

[Brett Vesely]

Swear to God, if it's John J. And Rich, I'll hang myself.

[Dick Toledo]

No, I don't. Is Rogan, but probably.

[Brett Vesely]

You think Rogan and then us. They're not getting their fill. It's Cameroon.

[Dick Toledo]

They're looking for new stuff all the time.

[Brett Vesely]

Cameroon.

[Brady]

Cookie's Kitchen.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. How many cookies? Kitchen.

[Wayne]

I would like to say that I've been harangued for the last time about portion sizes. The prison is now going out of business. Evidently I was over scooped. Warden.

[Brett Vesely]

Fudge you.

[Dick Toledo]

Whoa, hey, Brady.

[Wayne]

You heard me.

[Brett Vesely]

Anyway, yeah, I. I. Cameroon. We. These analytics came back. Toledo sent it last night. That guys were number two in Cameroon. I don't even know where Cameroon is.

[Dick Toledo]

Sure you do.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it in Africa?

[Dick Toledo]

It's over there somewhere.

[Brett Vesely]

It's in the. In the panhandle.

[Dick Toledo]

It's in the armpit.

[Brett Vesely]

I think it's the other side. That's why. Ethiopia. Ethiopia.

[Dick Toledo]

No, Ethiopia's on the east side.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I thought. Well, that's the armpit to me.

[Dick Toledo]

No, the armpit. If you. Isn't the armpit. Like if it's like this. Isn't this the armpit?

[Brett Vesely]

It's more like a ball and socket.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that the chin?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, geez. Armpit to chin. See? Over on the Ivory Coast.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't know at all.

[Dick Toledo]

No, I think you're right.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

There's the map.

[Brady]

Right here.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Cameroon by Nigeria and right next to Chad.

[John Holmberg]

Or right under Chad.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, Chad. That.

[Dick Toledo]

I know this because apparently a lot of our Internet traffic is routed through there. After looking at our.

[Brett Vesely]

It is. Well, that's in Cameroon.

[Brady]

Africa.

[Brett Vesely]

Something's going on.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And that may be where my generator is. Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

Why are we number two in Cameroon?

[Dick Toledo]

Come on, John.

[Brett Vesely]

No, it's because of you. Well, yeah. Well, you're right. It's.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, let's be honest.

[Brett Vesely]

My staunch support of the Camarines. Yes. Cameroon. Number two. Number one is Dave Pratt.

[Dick Toledo]

Why do you poo poo these things?

[Brady]

Just enjoy the other.

[Brett Vesely]

I got a no answer. I got. I'm curious guy. Curious fella.

[John Holmberg]

We get bonused on being Number two in Cameroon, you know.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Bread and Cameroonian money. I'll give you 10 million Cameroon dollars. Whatever they call them. I believe they're called Scout or girl buttons.

[Dick Toledo]

It's probably that.

[Brett Vesely]

They probably hand out amputated girl buttons for money. You can have as many of those as you want, Bert. I don't know, but that's a fact. That came back yesterday. And that's off of our new archive thing. Yeah, that is not off of.

[Dick Toledo]

Not the old one.

[Brett Vesely]

So we've been in some way, shape or form hacked and all of our credit cards are in danger. Danger. And so are all of yours, by the way, because if you listen to our podcast, more than likely somebody in Cameroon has now commandeered the whole thing, picked up all of your information, and you expect your credit cards, even though you don't use them for our thing, will be absolutely. Just.

[Dick Toledo]

Just giving. It's available on all platforms.

[Brett Vesely]

I would dodge. Look here, I'm going to tell you this.

[Dick Toledo]

Our website.

[Brett Vesely]

I wouldn't sign up and I know Toledo gets a little extra off this, but I'm sorry, I'll give you. I'll give you $100 extra a year for it because that's all you're going to get from the company. Trust me, they high promises.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm loaded in Cameroonian girl buttons.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't download the thing. Don't listen to our. It's been infiltrated by some sort of African thing.

[Dick Toledo]

What if it's the best thing ever.

[Brett Vesely]

And Cameroon is not on to us?

[Dick Toledo]

You don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, I do.

[Dick Toledo]

Not a third world country.

[Brett Vesely]

Richard, stop. There's over there. It's a third world country. It's in Africa. Third world country also. We would have heard that we're number one in Cameroon on the regular podcast, let alone. All they wanted was the squares. I don't think so. They don't know who Gene Simmons is.

[Dick Toledo]

By the way, Cameroon is not a third world country.

[Brett Vesely]

It is, too.

[Dick Toledo]

Booking my vacation now.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it is too. Cameroon is a second world country then. And it is teetering on the brink of third world.

[Dick Toledo]

It's classified as a lower middle income country.

[Wayne]

It's next to China.

[Brett Vesely]

Chad. All right, comparatively. Sure, it's better than Chad, but so is Maryvale.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes, Chad is a third world.

[Brett Vesely]

Of course it is. It's named Chad.

[Brady]

Summer's in Cameroon, though.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, that's enough. We're number two in Cameroon. I don't know how that happened, but I have a feeling all of your information has been stolen. That's All I'm going to say so I would immediately delete as much of the KUPD Archive podcast as possible.

[Dick Toledo]

No way. New ones going up tomorrow saying that.

[Brett Vesely]

Because he gets paid extra for this. He doesn't care about you. I do. I don't mind us not being number two in Cameroon if it means that all of our listeners don't get human trafficked in the next month just for wanting to hear these stupid Guadalupe squares. Can't we give it to him in a different way that has, like, firewalls?

[Dick Toledo]

Apparently not.

[Brett Vesely]

Why are we available in Africa in the first place?

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's our new Gamut Podcasting Incorporated. It's our new arm.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, God. More radio executives hiring other radio executives to start this. And look at the first thing that happens. Africa gets hold of it. Your information has been breached.

[Dick Toledo]

Prepare for that email later today. Congrats to the morning sickness for being number two in Cameroon. We're celebrating this, by the way, on Thursday, I think. I mean, podcasting party.

[Brett Vesely]

Izzy comes in fifth in the mornings over there at kdkb, and the place might as well have birthday candles on it for a year. Here. We're number two in Cameroon. I mean, we've got this number one thing aced here. They don't even pay attention to that one thing.

[Dick Toledo]

She can't say crushing her podcast.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I don't know. I think she'd be more popular in Cameroon than us. Well, I'm just saying. Anywho. All right, we'll do the Guadalupe Replay. Just ignore the parts about Biden saying that he's all fine. It was Friday. We didn't know yet. There is a great line that Gene Simmons delivers that I'm pretty sure proud of. It's the Guadalupe replay, everybody. It's 98 KUPD number two in Cameroon. Holmberg's morning sickness. Post concert psyching rock for that show last Thursday destroyed with the sickness. The 25th anniversary, I was told by management to stop saying to not download the podcast or the app because the Cameroon rating is too high. I think whenever Africa pops into our podcasts, it's fishy, but evidently management says it's not. And then I should encourage you guys to. To still download all of the. The stuff that we're telling you to download. Don't do it. It's. It's not a trap. It's trap. And I don't think it's unhealthy for your phone or anything else. When you download our podcast, which is doing great in Africa, that should tell you all you need to know. So enjoy it. Download away. It is taking away from our bottom line for you not to do it. And that's the most important thing. You're getting hacked. It's not our fault.

[John Holmberg]

As long as you're getting a new phone soon.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. Yeah. Get the insurance on your phone because I think. And don't, you know, try to vault a lot of the pictures because eventually they're going to end up on some sort of a blackmail site.

[Brady]

Hopefully Larry puts together some summer trips to Cameroon that we can give away.

[Brett Vesely]

Larry's excellent adventure to Cameroon because he's high regard and, you know, definitely high demand. Africa. We're doing very well in Africa. We can't figure out why, but the analytics don't lie. And that, to me, says you're going to be getting a lot of texts and emails from princes that are demanding money, and some of you are going to fall for it. It's 9:52. There you go. That was my promotion for our awesome new archival podcast stuff. Don't do it. It's 98 KUPD. Please, God, save yourself. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said Erect. Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. Tripp's already mad because I told you not to download our podcast anymore. Because it's. Because our management's done a poor job of making sure that the Cameroonians don't have hold of it. Remember in Back to the Future how silly it was the Libyans? That's what we're doing right now with the podcast. You can download it if you want, but I say do it at your own risk. And management. And I know I'm right because management came in here, told me to not say that, which means they did nothing to try to stop the Africans from wrecking us. And I guarantee you there was like, probably a $10 option to protect against warlords, and our guys didn't pay it.

[John Holmberg]

Please.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, now there's a $10 charge here. Bob's on whether or not we should protect against Cameroonian invasions of our podcast. And we think we should.

[Wayne]

No way. $10, a lot of money.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, the Bob's have voted. There'll be no $10 protection charge for the list listeners. Let the Cameroonians rape all of their cell phones. Yay. Number two in Cameroon.

[John Holmberg]

Look at us.

[Brett Vesely]

If you're enjoying. If you're enjoying it. And now our plan to give all those jerseys to Africa in our.

[Brady]

Maybe that's what happened.

[Brett Vesely]

That might have pushed Us over the top with the bring us your your mistake purchased football, baseball or basketball jerseys. Even hobby hockey and we're going to give them to Africa. Maybe Cameroon got wind of that. Anyway, we'll figure it all out. But I'm worried about you guys. Most our management isn't, but I am. It's time now for Brady to solve all your problems. We call this what would Brady do? And it's brought to you by mo Money Pond. 12th street in Indian School. M and P guns right there inside Mo Money Pond gonna get you taken care of. All the gun needs you've ever needed, had or wanted are right in front of you. I got ammo, they got supplies. They got guns. Most importantly. And if you say hey I got this weird one I'm looking for, they can find it. They can find just about anything. So get on down there and grab something. They're knowledgeable as well and they'll help you build AR15s and 9s. They got all sorts of classes. Head on in there. It's the only place you need to go for all of your ammo needs. Mo money pawn MMP guns. 12th street and Indian School Brady, are you ready?

[Brady]

Ready.

[Brett Vesely]

Simple one. Dear Brady, my daughter's a terrible singer. She tries really hard, but she's just not that good. My wife and I both agree, but she is a dreamer. She wants to go to an expensive performing arts school in California. She auditioned for them. We thought it's going nowhere, but she got through her audition. Even said the words. It's not a very good audition, but if you're willing to pay. They think she's got potential. Well, the pay is $35,000. Of course they're going to take her in. Should I let her chase her dream? Dream or be the killer of said dream? We're not poor, so it's not like we can't afford it. But is it good money? Vince, man, you know your kid sucks at something. 35 grand you got to spend to find out Other people think she sucks too.

[Brady]

It reminds me of those talent agencies that used to go around town. They'd advertise.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, your kids got talent.

[Brady]

We got acting classes for them. Mormon?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh.

[Brady]

Not at this time.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't think so when then?

[Brady]

Well I. I would try to get her involved in some other things before, you know. Because the second first thing I did think was okay person's rough and vocals are not that good. But with coaching.

[Brett Vesely]

Kirby wants to thing.

[Brady]

That'S great.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you send her to a school that says no?

[Brady]

I Sent her to a $35,000. Especially when this just sounds a little bit like a predatory.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds like Diddy's running this a little.

[Brett Vesely]

A little.

[Brady]

Cuz it's like well the audition's not that good. But we, we think there's something here.

[Brett Vesely]

But that doesn't mean.

[Brady]

But then they come out of there after that. Right. And. And then once she completes the at, then she's good to go. There's singing jobs all over the place.

[Brett Vesely]

They can help you. They can teach you to sing better. We.

[Brady]

You can.

[Brett Vesely]

If you've got potential.

[Brady]

Way you don't have to spend as much.

[Brett Vesely]

So you're saying go for the cheaper route?

[Brady]

Yeah. There's good vocal coaches locally.

[Brett Vesely]

Are there?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

How many great vocalists are popping out of here?

[John Holmberg]

Alice Cooper.

[Brett Vesely]

Exactly. I don't think there's any good vocal code if that's our guide. There are no good vocal coaches in the city. Not a one. There's the other one. Nary a good vocal coach in the entire metro region.

[Brady]

I think there's good vocal coaches. No matter.

[Brett Vesely]

They just haven't found anybody to help.

[Brady]

No, they help people.

[Brett Vesely]

Nary a one. Find out if anybody's graduated from this school that's good.

[Brady]

And graduating does what?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I don't know. Well look, you go to those performing arts schools, you can go in and be a bad actor. Audition and they'll teach you how to audition. She doesn't know how to do any of this. Her breathing technique might be bad. She might have potential. They might be telling the truth.

[Brady]

That's why I'm saying a vocal coach can help on some of that stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

That. Look Netanyahu. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm with you. All I'm saying is find out who the school hangs their hat on. Find out who the school's like this guy went through our program. This guy. And if you've got a few like, oh my God, like you know, Gunna and Drake, forget it. You got some stuff going on. Find out what they're about. Because if it's like the radio and broadcast school that used to be on 48th street and, and I went there.

[John Holmberg]

I almost went there.

[Brett Vesely]

They hung their hat on Casey Kasem's son and I fell for it. I am the most successful human being to ever graduate from that school. That's a guarantee. I think anybody else in that silly school did anything with this career. But it was, it was only. And at the time it was at 10 grand for six months.

[Brady]

That's a lot of money.

[Brett Vesely]

That's a lot of dough, probably, but.

[John Holmberg]

You were guaranteed a job, man, right after you got out.

[Brett Vesely]

You're guaranteed help to get a job, Prescott. No, they were big on getting you in Globe in the promotions department. But what I did learn from that was, oh, this is up to me. It was probably the best $10,000 that my parents ever spent. A lot better than college. Because what I realized there was, oh, if I want to do this, it's up to me. Me, I have to get better take. And it also taught me the whole. Okay, most of this is fluff. Find the things that resonate with you and put them in your pocket. Don't crap on everything. 35 grand's a lot of money for a kid who you don't think can sing. But if they said.

[Brady]

But she could still. You can doctor up that voice.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Get a computer. Over and over you're saying, tell me.

[Brady]

Britney Spears can sing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you know, she's. She can. She can hold the note. She can sing.

[John Holmberg]

John Bella went to that school, too.

[Brett Vesely]

Fella did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I rest my case. He just. I stand by my comment. And now more than ever. And this one says, Britney Spears wasn't a great singer, but she's a great performer. Their daughter's a good performer with a decent voice. She's got a shot.

[Brady]

Yeah, but I don't know if this is the. I'm with him as far as saying.

[Brett Vesely]

Saying, but when.

[Dick Toledo]

Tell me about this.

[Brady]

This. Well, I want to find out more about this school and just say, but.

[Brett Vesely]

When do you say, yeah, we gotta send her when. She's great at singing. She doesn't need it.

[Brady]

Yeah, and what do you do with that then?

[Brett Vesely]

Right? You tell her already, we're just gonna get you an agent, start you singing. This one needs some. You know, she's a.

[Brady]

Like, I said that. I don't know how many opportunities there are for, you know, agents and, like, I gotta see singer, I guess, you know, if they keep doing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you throw out some auditions and stuff. You throw out a little bit of live.

[Brady]

They're doing live television.

[Brett Vesely]

You got to get some work.

[Brady]

The musicals, by the way.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. What the wrong with all of you? There's like YouTube and tick tock and stuff. Get her on tape.

[Brady]

Rebecca Black, she's huge.

[Brett Vesely]

She did great. Even though Friday almost destroyed. Destroyed her. Yeah, I don't think.

[Brady]

Not Friday, huh?

[Brett Vesely]

That's what I'm saying. It almost destroyed her, though. It almost made her the laughingstock. Had she not come out with actual talent a few years later, it would have remained her destruction. She overcame Friday and also the fact that she was like 13. I think people will forgive you when you screw up when you're 13. Dear Brady, my stepson has gotten so fat that I don't want him sitting on my new couch. He's pushing £400. He's made an ass groove in the old couch that ruined it. The reason we needed a new couch because fatty wouldn't get off of it. My new couch is incredible and he's not allowed on it until he's under £300. And even then I'm wondering, his mother has decided she's going to withhold sex now that I've put this rule down. The boy sits on the floor. Is any of this worth it? How in the world do I get him to take his weight seriously? His mother was won't. The dogs are absolutely allowed on the couch and he must sit on the floor. Do I allow him back on the couch or stick to my guns and let the sex dry up and get into this war? By the way, the wife is a fun lay. Jason. Wow, 400 pound stepson wrecked a couch.

[Brady]

I. I mean can't you buy him his own seat?

[Brett Vesely]

He gets his own chair.

[Brady]

Yeah. I mean if he's wrecking couches. But I can understand where she's coming from as far as that. Like that's got to be tough for him to even sit on the floor.

[Brett Vesely]

Why? Good.

[Brady]

£400.

[Brett Vesely]

Good.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, well make it easier on yourself. Lose some weight and then getting up and down off the floor pleaser. And then if you lose enough, you won't be on the floor anymore.

[Brady]

Just won't. I. I would give him a separate deal for that and, and encourage him or to lose weight.

[John Holmberg]

How can I have some Ozempic?

[Brett Vesely]

You know you could get him is a stationary bicycle to sit on and watch tv. That's where you sit. I don't care if you pedal or not, but that's your chair. Yeah, not on my new couch.

[Brady]

If he's put a hundred pounds on in a year or something like that.

[Brett Vesely]

That'S he's 400 pounds.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just thyroid.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not as he said at one time.

[Brady]

Wasn't he's like 300 at one point.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you have to be 300 to get the floor.

[Brady]

Well, I'm saying I thought he said that in the letter. Like it was like, oh I don't know in a short span.

[Brett Vesely]

Attention to that. I didn't think it was short span. I think he just said oh, he just Got rid of his old couch. No, he said he has to get under 300 in order to sit on the couch. Yeah. Didn't say anything about how he got to 400, which I assume included 300.

[Brady]

Ozempic.

[Brett Vesely]

You got to give him some Mozambic.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And let him. Him do it.

[Brady]

Well, no, mom, you know.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Brady]

Because it's stepson. Right.

[Brett Vesely]

Mom's got it.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll let you on my stuff.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Dads used to be big on that. You're not allowed to touch that. You're an idiot. Like, a lot of that. And if you're too big and you wreck the last couch, if you ask, groove a couch too big for the. The. It's gone. It's over. You're not doing it to the new couch. I wasn't allowed when we got new furniture to sit on it for like the first few months. My dad hated when. He hated when we as kids would touch the new stuff. New car. We weren't allowed in the new car. Like, he'd pull it into the garage. We'd all climb in there and get your shoes off. Like everything was new rules. Don't touch that.

[Brady]

No eating.

[Brett Vesely]

No drinking and eating in this car. New rule. And for like two months that would stick. And then the next thing you know, there's fries all over and. But that was a rule for. For a while. Maybe it's. Maybe you get over it, maybe you don't. But she's withholding sex because she won't let her fat kid. Maybe she withhold meals from the boy instead of sex from her, the person. That's okay.

[Brady]

You know, a lot of times, I mean, she could be enabling that process.

[Brett Vesely]

Of course she's punishing the guy, trying to help.

[Brady]

Well, and. Yeah, but I don't think putting him on the floor will.

[Brett Vesely]

Why?

[Brady]

You know, it depends. I don't think it's going to know that'll ever change with the. The misses if they're even married.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I mean, they're married.

[Brady]

Married.

[Brett Vesely]

Make it prison style. Get a bicycle that powers the TV or his gaming system. Yeah, I think that's a good idea too. £400, no joke. There's no coddling that you get up to £400, it's time to lethal. Not hug anymore and start saying, hey, this is to save your life.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

If your kid had a gun in his mouth every day. Day, you wouldn't let him on the couch. This kid's walking around with basically a gun up against his heart.

[John Holmberg]

How's this kid anyway?

[Brett Vesely]

Probably teenager. I'm guessing they didn't say. I don't know, cuz it's.

[Brady]

It does sound like he's on his own.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I was just going to say if he's some 23 year old slob, kick him out.

[Brett Vesely]

Or kick him out. Yeah, go sit on somebody else's couch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not fair. I can't get in my own apartment because I don't have any money. Go get a job. That requires movement.

[John Holmberg]

Just put a park bench in your family room. There you go. Sit on this fatty. Try to strike one of these.

[Brett Vesely]

Brett, try to wreck one of these waffle butt. The waffling hurts my ass. Yeah, well, if you didn't weigh 400 pounds, your ass wouldn't hurt every time you tried to relax.

[Brady]

Better than the floor.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it? I actually like the floor. This guy said, john, he's gonna blow his knees out trying to get up and down off the floor. Well, that's not the floor's fault.

[Brady]

Help me up.

[Brett Vesely]

He gets to 450, he's gonna blow his knees out getting off the couch. Somebody needs to care about this kid's health. And I think you're doing the right thing. Take things away from him. Starting with the devil dogs. Dear Brady, hot face, beautiful breath, hair for miles. But she's in a wheelchair. Her legs are a little bit messy. She can walk, but it isn't pretty. She spends a lot of time in the chair. Cause it's just easier for her. I work with her anyway. She's a funny girl. Doesn't take herself very seriously. Jokes about her legs a lot. And I kind of think I want to ask her out. But I'm not sure deep down that if things went well, I could hit it when the time came. Do you believe love conquers all? Will I eventually be able to overcome this and bang her? I know that sounds crass, but you know what I mean. Should I pursue this Wesley?

[Brady]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

No. Why not?

[Brady]

Not for him.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't date the cripple.

[Brady]

No, because the goal is he's trying to find love by banging.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, that's how you do it.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's trying to find love.

[Brady]

Trying to get the banger.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, he's trying. No, he's misread that he's trying. He's saying that if I cared about. About her, I'm not sure I could get past her thing to banger. He's actually doing the opposite of what you're saying. He's just trying to bang Her.

[Brady]

It didn't open her up like a wishbone. Sound that way so much when you're.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Telling the story. But I mean if he didn't say.

[Brett Vesely]

Anything but I just want to bang.

[Brady]

He likes her. It absolutely does.

[Brett Vesely]

You think love conquers all that?

[Brady]

Sure.

[Brett Vesely]

No way. You're not gonna be able to hit that. It's disgusting. You're crazy.

[Brady]

But like I was saying him. I don't see it happening.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You're asking the question. You're not going to hit Caleb, you freak. Knock it off.

[Brady]

Right the way he's already talking about it. We're not going to get over that.

[Brett Vesely]

Although I would imagine that most able bodied people that have fallen for somebody in a chair had that very same question when they first met. I think if you asked anybody who has a person in a wheelchair as their partner, they would say I would have never thought I could have done this. Some of that I don't think anybody pursues it.

[Brady]

But why? Because love.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Love conquers all.

[Brett Vesely]

Because they can't run away. Nathan Sutherland. Love doesn't conquer all. For sure. That's a misnomer to think that you can get through anything just because love's in the room. That's not true. But you're saying that you know I'm uncomfortable with this because none of us are supposed to have sex with the handicap, right?

[Brady]

Where's that rule, huh? Where's that rule?

[Brett Vesely]

If you don't have it, you're a pervert. Should be you and your belief system should have that. Be an 8.

[John Holmberg]

If Duo rolled in in a wheelchair.

[Brett Vesely]

She wouldn't be doa. I need the bad dance moves now. She's long. Something about her shape sitting down. I don't think she's that great like permanently sitting down. Plus you gotta flop her around.

[John Holmberg]

And we said that she can.

[Brett Vesely]

She can walk. But it's like Thriller. Probably a little worse than Thriller.

[John Holmberg]

All right. There goes my erection.

[Brett Vesely]

See what I said?

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brett Vesely]

Then she walks in the bedroom in that lingerie with those Forrest Gump braces. Oh God. She's coming to bed in lingerie.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go.

[Brett Vesely]

She just wheel up to the bed, turn the lights out.

[Brady]

What if she had the arm, legs, the sticks.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, the. The. The braces.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You hear that? Sexy Walk down. She comes towards you dragging her feet like Timmy.

[Brady]

That's tough one.

[Brett Vesely]

Could you do it if he likes.

[John Holmberg]

Her with the click sticks?

[Brady]

I could. With love I could.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. N. You don't have enough in your heart. You couldn't do it. You couldn't do it.

[Brady]

Probably, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. But I think most. I think that's fair to say. Most people probably say that's where.

[Brady]

That's why they come up with that question, though. The women do a lot of times. If I got.

[Wayne]

I lost my arms and legs in an accident, would you still love me?

[Brett Vesely]

Probably.

[Wayne]

Would we be together?

[Brett Vesely]

Absolutely not.

[Wayne]

Why you love me?

[Brett Vesely]

I can love you from a distance. You're a floor mat.

[Brady]

The best thing for our relationship was to part ways, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Which wasn't hard. All I had to do is poke your forehead, you tip over like a Weeble wobble, and I'm out the door. Door.

[John Holmberg]

If you love something, set it free, Right?

[Brett Vesely]

Don't come back. Well, if you love something with no arms and legs and you set it free, it's going to get eaten by coyotes or ants. What's it going to do? Lip its way back to the door anywh who. It's insensitive, but it's true. I don't see a lot of, like, television. There's that one show on TV now with that really crippled kid is with another super duper crippled girl. And it's cute. Like, they're like a foot and a half tall, each of them. You know what I'm talking about?

[Brady]

Dwarfs.

[Brett Vesely]

No, they're beyond dwarfs, man. They're in chairs.

[Brady]

Mini dwarfs.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, they're dwarfism.

[Brady]

Is micro dwarfs.

[Brett Vesely]

Least of their concerns is dwarfism. They're like, if Raggedy Ann was sewn this. But they'd throw it out. Like, there's a lot going on. And then he found one just like. Like him. And one's from, like, Guatemala. And the other guy, the guy is black at Jeffrey or something. I don't know the name of the show, but it's.

[Brady]

I've seen one where they had kids.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but here's the thing. No, you're thinking of them. These people are in chairs. Like, oh, okay. Like, they're a mess. Now imagine that show being on TV if Brett was the guy. I'm just saying.

[John Holmberg]

Okay?

[Brett Vesely]

And then the girls in the chair. Are you seeing love? Are you seeing Predator? If I rolled in here one day and said, this is my new lady. She's a foot and a half tall, her legs are crossed three times.

[Brady]

Couple Hannah on Instagram and yeah, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody thinks that's gross. And that guy's not that bad. Her legs are like a braided pretzel. Her arms stick out like bird wings. Her head's back and Bob's back.

[Brady]

I know one thing.

[John Holmberg]

Thing.

[Brady]

She's loaded.

[Brett Vesely]

Maybe if she had a lot of money, you'd be like, that's why I would just tell you. I'm just here for the money. She. If I'm lucky, she won't last long. But if I came in and said, no, love conquered all, you'd be like, that's beautiful. Or would you picture me hitting that, going, he's horrible.

[Wayne]

He needs to be in jail.

[Brady]

I wouldn't say that.

[Brett Vesely]

B is the answer. You would have been wrong not to say it. So what do you do?

[Wayne]

You just peel her out of the chair?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I like to put her in positions in my. Like, bend her over kitchen counters. Sometimes I like to just stick her on there and walk around like she's a flagpole sitter.

[Brady]

But that's not far of a stretch for me about you.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, it is. I have somebody who can fight back. I just don't flick them like a crumb off my lap. Ow. Shut up.

[Brady]

You can't feel that.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't act like you have of feelings. Your nervous system screwed. You know what I'm talking about?

[Brady]

Yeah, for the most part.

[Brett Vesely]

Able bodies should stay with able bodies. Unless it just you. Unless it's after the fact. And also, you can't pursue it. If it happens, it happens. You can't pursue it. You look like a creep. She pursues you and you hit it off. That's great. But then you take her little Caleb legs.

[Dick Toledo]

I know.

[Brett Vesely]

We got to go. Brady says, don't do that. You said it, too. You said what? I'm saying don't bang her. She's. Something's wrong with her. What if you can catch it? There you go. That is the. What would Brady do for today? It made me sick. It's 98K, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98K still streaming in morning sickness online at 98kupd.com somebody sent us the 1915 porn we talked about earlier. The very first porn ever. There's a lot of hair in that.

[John Holmberg]

I'll stick to porno.

[Brett Vesely]

Me too. I'll stick to modern days. Yeah, and the dude was no joke on the hair either. That stuff was up and under the trundle, I believe. Couple angles in there. You just got to think of that poor cameraman. He had to do that crank.

[John Holmberg]

Not that crank, but yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Hurry up.

[Wayne]

We've got two minutes of film.

[Brett Vesely]

There's some sort of acid in the air that's wrecking the solenoid.

[Dick Toledo]

Good move. I hope it turns out.

[Brett Vesely]

Out.

[Brady]

And they're upside down in the camera.

[Brett Vesely]

Give it the swirl. Close it up. Where do you want me to put it? I don't know. Anyway, we're running out of time. I'm not there. Oh, you're squirting all over her face. What kind of animal are you? That'll never take. Trust me. Mark these words. That's the type of behavior that'll never catch on. All right, do it again. Except for that horrible maniacal move you make at the end where you coat the woman like a dog. Do it like a man. A bird didn't fly out of that thing. That's a lot of hair. Thanks for that. By the way, to the guy that sent that to us. Alan. Alan. Alan had way too much access. It is time now for Brady to give us all the entertaining news that he gives us. And it's called the entertainment drill and it's brought to you the way by our friends [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. And again, I told you about this. I think this is great. I got a few emails of people. I don't know if they're actually going to follow through. Hopefully they do. But if you've got homeschooled kids or kids that are, you know, need access to physical activity, there's a program that you know about, what's it called, Brady, you're part of ESA that you can do at the Glendale store over there for react defense and ESA kids and Kirby's one. Is that what you said?

[Brady]

Well, you can use it to pay for tuition.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, we used it for Alex and Chris too.

[Brett Vesely]

So you can use the ESA and pay for physical fitness.

[Brady]

They got approved as a vendor.

[Brett Vesely]

That's awesome. That's so cool.

[Dick Toledo]

So any money you spend on that is tax deductible.

[Brett Vesely]

So if you've got a kid and you're an ESA family and you want to do that, it goes right over there. You can train, you can teach the kid. It's anti bullying in a huge way. And I think Tony said something about it being for like 8 to 12 or something that like got contact them and get involved in this. Nothing better than get your. Especially if that guy that emailed us with what would Brady, that 400 pound loaf of a child, get him down there and get him in shape. You're doing him a favor. He shouldn't be a teenager with heart issues. I bet you he's on blood pressure meds and he's 17. He's going to make ass grooves in the floor. If you leave him down there long enough, let alone your couch. If your kid needs some physical fitness, needs some self esteem, boy, I tell you what, this is the place to go. And Tony's amazing. And all the trainers over there in Glendale, incredible. I haven't met one trainer that's like that one's not very good. All of them are amazing. And you can do that over there in Glendale. If you got the kid or yourself. If you want to sign up, get involved. The price is right. Two months, 199 bucks. Personal training. You're not beating that at all. But you'll be beating up on those heavy bags and those mitts and you're going to have the time of your life learning about you turn into a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. Sheep. And you can start them early right there. That's a pretty cool deal. Check it all out. Reactdefense.com it's the home of Tactical Black Brady. Entertain me.

[Brady]

Last week, the British tabloid Daily Mail reported that Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noam is backing a proposal for a reality show where immigrants can compete for citizenship.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a great idea.

[Brady]

Not true. On Friday, they put out a statement saying shut down the report. It's fake news.

[Brett Vesely]

Fake news. Saying that we were going to do a completely false. It's the one thing I didn't want to be fake was the actual game show for citizenship.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, the show still might happen. It's just not backed by Christine.

[Brett Vesely]

Right. It would kind of have going to.

[Brady]

Use because they even said if they're.

[Dick Toledo]

Given citizens if they're given the government's.

[Brett Vesely]

Got to be behind it. There's. They had to call them first. By the way, Mark just said that his KUPD app just gave him herpes. I'm telling you guys, this is not good. Said I downloaded your app hundreds of times. I use it when I'm out of range. I'm in Gila Bend now. I found out Cameroon is in my phone. It's going to delete it now. I don't need it. Damn Cameroonians.

[John Holmberg]

What's worse, Cameroon or Hila Bend?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you know what? You go to Gila Bend, you got nothing to worry about. Download the app. You're fine. Your phone's going to catch more in Gila Bend than it ever would in a river in Cameroon.

[Brady]

There's a Reddit thing that said ask what's something that happens often in movies that's 100% unrealistic.

[Brett Vesely]

Space travel.

[Brady]

That was on there.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[Brady]

Someone. Someone falls and catches the edge of something just by their fingers.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

They're like, try it sometime. Or try to get a bad suggestion.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't try it.

[Brett Vesely]

Do the Rambo leap. Remember in Rambo when he jumped off the side and banged it all the tree branches broke his fall and then.

[Dick Toledo]

Caught one with his elbow.

[Brett Vesely]

Was fine. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How about anything that happens in a Fast and Furious movie?

[Brett Vesely]

There you go.

[Brady]

Driving, people getting pistol whipped, being knocked unconscious and then waking up functioning fully.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Girls fully normal, no concussion.

[Brett Vesely]

Girls knocking out dudes twice their size with one punch.

[Brady]

Yeah. Having a hero being assaulted by a dozen henchmen using fists, feet, and metal bars. Getting up only to end up with a small little butterfly bandage on the cheek.

[Brett Vesely]

After those, getting shot and, like, being okay.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Well, sitting there on whatever stainless steel table with your arm up in the air like Dalton and.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, and he's pulling out his own. Yeah.

[Brady]

Someone put unemployed bachelors with spacious penthouse apartments in desirable locations. Hackers saying H, typing 300 words per minute, and then five seconds later, I'm in.

[Brett Vesely]

I love those. You know what they never use when they fake hack? The space bar? It makes a very unique noise, but all you hear are the keys going. You never hear the space bar.

[Brady]

No one buys celery and baguettes every time they go to the grocery store. But yet in every movie, when you.

[Brett Vesely]

Get celery and bags hanging out of the top. That's true. True. They've always got a baguette and a celery stock in the bag. It's a great point.

[Brady]

Bruce Springsteen is about to release a long lost country album that he recorded back in 1995, leave it there. Back then it was called Somewhere north of Nashville. Never saw the day of the light of Day. But now he's releasing it on a new project called Tracks 2, the Lost Albums.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me tell you, after Bruce's most recent rants in England about how crappy America is, the country audience are gonna eat him up. They'll love this. Good. Time to get all down home with the reds, smarty.

[Dick Toledo]

I think when artists reach a certain age, they're just like, all right, whatever's in the vault, throw it up there.

[Brett Vesely]

I need to throw it out some more. I know I told y' all I hate America, but here I am in the south singing country music to you. I hit my head and now I forgot how to say words. Words, huh?

[Brady]

He did. There's a little sneak peek. He released a song called Repo Man. The whole Are we supposed Higher album.

[Brett Vesely]

God, I hope I'm not Interested in that? Yeah. The country audience is just gonna embrace Bruce like nobody's fist. I watched a little American Idol last night. They brought Luke Combs up there. Or not. Luke Combs. Who's the judge? What's the judge's name?

[John Holmberg]

Urban.

[Brett Vesely]

Luke. The other one. No, Luke. Luke. He's not on there. Luke Bryant. That's the guy. I'm up there and he's like. He sang the dumbest song. I swear to God. After I was done, I thought I'd forgotten every word in English language because it's the dumbest song I've ever heard. I was going to drink, but then a country song came on. Or is going to quit drinking or something like that. I was going to quit drinking, but a country song came on. Country song came on, and I'm like, what is going on on that? America likes this. And then he had someone join him for another terribly stupid song.

[Brady]

But you said the winner had a winner.

[Brett Vesely]

Is one of the best singers I've ever heard in my life. His tone.

[Brady]

Well, they put him in pop music.

[Brett Vesely]

He can do anything, whatever he chooses to do. This guy's the best voice I've ever heard, if you care. This is country music.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds like any other Springsteen song.

[Brett Vesely]

I drove my foreign truck to a place and I told everybody I hate the States. You repo man, you're not gonna make it. Bruce, with your Hate the USA speech and then your country album. Good luck.

[Dick Toledo]

Talk to the Dixie Chicks.

[Brady]

Looks like the who is practicing for their upcoming farewell tour by bidding farewell to their drummer for the second time.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they didn't like this guy last month.

[Dick Toledo]

The first one died, right?

[Brett Vesely]

Well, yeah, they didn't bid farewell to the.

[Brady]

They didn't have a chat to their. Bid farewell to her. To their drummer.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Current drummer.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Which is Zack Starkey.

[Dick Toledo]

But you said another drummer.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. Zach is Ringo Starr's son.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And they. They fired him and they brought him back on and two months later, fired him. The other drummer that got fired was Foo Fighters drummer Josh Freeze. Josh Freeze?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He had a pretty good take on it, though. He released a little excerpt saying, here's the deal. I love the Foo Fighters. Had a great time, great experience. Stay tuned for my top 10 possible reasons Josh got booted from the Foo Fighter.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, they didn't really give him a reason. They just said, he's not gonna be there anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody thinks they're bringing Taylor's kid in.

[Brett Vesely]

And they should, because that thing he did in England on the tribute was unreal. It was like it was like. It's hard not to cry, but Josh.

[John Holmberg]

Has never really been in a band. He's been that. That journeyman guy that plays on everybody's album films.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. He's a studio dude and a tourist.

[Brady]

Yeah. They listed some of the bands he played with Devo.

[Brett Vesely]

He's played with everybody. But, yeah, him being part of the Foo was. Seemed temporary to begin with.

[Brady]

Well, you think they at least maybe would say that?

[Brett Vesely]

I think maybe they did, and he thought he was permanent. And I think maybe what they were doing was, will you fill in while we find a drummer kind of thing? Because they never announced him as their new drummer. He just kind of was touring. So it's more a Of. Of a maybe he believed. I. Oh, I'm the Foo's drummer.

[John Holmberg]

You're filming. Until Taylor's kid graduates high school.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. His mom won't let him come with us until he's 20.

[Brady]

He played vandals, Devo, Guns N' Roses, Perfect Circle.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Dude's been with everybody but the Vandals. That's a thing from the 60s. Yeah. That would have to be this. Vandals from the 60s. Yeah. Play with anybody. All right, let's get the hell out. What are you laughing at?

[John Holmberg]

You'll get the email from George Wilson.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, no. Oh, yeah. He said, I downloaded the KUPD app, and now JJ Jeffries won't stop spam calling me. Yeah, that'll happen. That's from years ago. Good joke, George. From 20 years ago. There's a guy named J.J. jeffries is claiming to be a prince in Cameroon, and he won't leave me alone. Very possible.

[Dick Toledo]

Download it today.

[Brett Vesely]

You might even hear from someone called Rick Idle. Be careful. That one was. That's a phone sham. It's 1016. Is it 1016? Yeah. You should get overtime.

[Dick Toledo]

You know who's gonna yell at you?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm already on it, John. Yeah. Delete. Already done. Larry's coming up next. He's going to tell you about his excellent adventure. Little details coming up about that. That's popping up this week. So Larry's going to talk to you possibly about that in the future as he goes on another wonderful trip with. Is it Toyota? Right. The gang from Toyota's helping him out. So Larry's got a lot going on this week.

[Brady]

Week.

[Brett Vesely]

He'll tell you about it as he does. That's it. We're done. You guys have a great Monday. We'll see you tomorrow. On the Morning Sickness, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my.

[Brett Vesely]

Friend Wayne from Amco. And Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?

[John Holmberg]

No, Larry, if you have an extended.

[Brett Vesely]

Service contract, you can use it at any amco. Well, it's nice to have other options. I'll say. Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles, and faster service. AMCO does more than just transmissions, right? Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell, or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first. Just Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and a whole lot more.

[John Holmberg]

It's Brett Vesely from Holmberg's Morning Sickness, and I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now, Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all. Look, when it comes to H vac plumbing or electrical issues, their certified professional technicians deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate. Right now, Patrick Riley is for you guys. 1500 dollars off a new AC system install, plus up to 1100 dollars in additional rebates. They offer same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out online @Patrick Riley Services.com.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the number one best college for computer science for not one, but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecur gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu mo and don't just study tech, live it.