05-21-25 - BR - WED - Poll Of Restaurant Workers Reveals Truths About Porkopolis - Ronald Is Called Donald McDonald In Japan Leading To English Teacher Brady Character - Weinermobile 500 Happening In Indy This Weekend

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: May 21, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Description: Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show where John Holmberg and his team entertain, question, and provoke listeners with engaging discussions.

---

1. Poll of Restaurant Workers Reveals Truths About Porkopolis

The episode kicks off with a deep dive into an intriguing poll conducted among restaurant workers, unveiling the gritty realities behind the popular restaurant chain, Porkopolis.

John Holmberg shares, “[06:05] “They’re sitting there when they're done? No, they're not. That's not a customer's plate anymore. That's dishes.” highlighting the disillusionment workers feel about customer interactions.

The hosts discuss various misconducts within Porkopolis, including inappropriate relationships and unprofessional behavior among staff. Brady Bogen adds, “[04:03] “Have you ever finished a customer's alcoholic beverage after they leave? 6% said you're an alcoholic.” drawing attention to the excesses some workers engage in.

A particularly notable story involves a charismatic waiter named Skeeter who effortlessly charms customers, leading to unprofessional encounters. John Holmberg recounts, “[04:34] “He was a bad boy. All right. I've got a baby in me.” illustrating the chaotic environment that can arise from such behavior.

The segment concludes with reflections on management's role in handling problematic staff, emphasizing the need for better oversight to maintain professionalism within the restaurant.

---

2. Ronald McDonald is Called Donald McDonald in Japan

The conversation shifts to international branding quirks, specifically how Ronald McDonald is referred to in Japan.

Brady Bogen initiates the topic, “[11:21] “Ronald McDonald is called Donald McDonald in Japan.” sparking a humorous debate among the hosts about the challenges of maintaining brand consistency across cultures.

The team brainstorms alternative names, with John Holmberg suggesting, “[14:02] “We're just gonna call him Donnie. Donnie the Clown. Donnie the Burger Clown.” adding a playful twist to the character’s identity abroad.

The discussion highlights the broader implications of cultural adaptation in global marketing strategies and the importance of resonating with local audiences while preserving brand identity.

---

3. Weinermobile 500 Happening in Indianapolis This Weekend

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the upcoming Weinermobile 500 race in Indianapolis, blending humor with genuine excitement for the event.

Brady Bogen announces, “[20:12] “The Indianapolis 500 is this Sunday. And this year a very special race is happening. It's happening on Friday. The Wiener 500.” setting the stage for an unconventional twist on the traditional race.

The hosts delve into the specifics of the event, discussing the unique challenges faced by the Weinermobiles on the track. John Holmberg comments, “[20:37] “These things aren't exactly built for the turns, are they?” highlighting concerns about the Weinermobiles’ performance on a high-speed racing circuit.

Dick Toledo adds technical insights, “[21:10] “Make a turn where the road is on the side and you have to go fast enough that you kind of get that inertia. I don't know if wienermobiles can do that.” questioning the feasibility of the vehicles handling sharp turns at high speeds.

The segment is filled with laughter and playful banter, painting a vivid picture of what to expect at the Weinermobile 500. The hosts express skepticism yet excitement, making the audience eager to witness the comedic yet competitive spirit of the event.

---

4. Additional Highlights

Beyond the main topics, the episode features several engaging anecdotes and side discussions:

• Sun Protection Awareness: A substantial debate erupts over the effectiveness and safety of various sunscreens. Brady Bogen states, “[16:14] “Only one in four sunscreens on the market are actually safe and effective.” prompting a discussion on mineral-based versus chemical-based sunscreens.

• Local Incidents and Humor: The hosts share amusing and bizarre local incidents, including a chaotic scene at a gas station where unexpected accidents unfold. John Holmberg humorously narrates, “[29:20] “Here comes someone walking out with a hoodie to greet the new car.” adding a touch of local flavor and humor to the conversation.

• Cultural Observations: A lighthearted segment touches on cultural stereotypes and personal experiences, enhancing the show’s relatable and entertaining atmosphere.

---

Notable Quotes

• John Holmberg [06:05]: “They’re sitting there when they're done? No, they're not. That's not a customer's plate anymore. That's dishes.”

• Brady Bogen [11:21]: “Ronald McDonald is called Donald McDonald in Japan.”

• John Holmberg [20:37]: “These things aren't exactly built for the turns, are they?”

• Brady Bogen [16:14]: “Only one in four sunscreens on the market are actually safe and effective.”

---

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of humor, insightful discussions, and local flavor that keeps listeners engaged from start to finish. From exposing the hidden truths behind Porkopolis to exploring quirky cultural adaptations and gearing up for the unique Weinermobile 500 race, John Holmberg and his team deliver a captivating and entertaining morning show. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the show, this episode promises a lively and informative experience that encapsulates the essence of Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo for FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook right now. With FanDuel you can make the smarter play with performance trends. You can get the latest stats right inside the app and see who's heating up. Get started today by visiting FanDuel.com KUPD and you'll get started with $200 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first $5 bet. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first require bonus issued as non withdrawal bonus bets that expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step to 533-42.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and we're talking to you about reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black Self Defense Training. You know all about it by now. Get in great shape. Learn stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Prepare for a life you just can't prepare for until you start doing the work. And right now the price is unbeatable. Two months of personal training right there. Hands on React Defense self defense system. It is 199 bucks for too much. You're not getting that anywhere else and all you have to do is go to reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black.

[Brett]

Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.

[Byron]

Brett I sure do. It's M and P Guns Customs MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsman. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.

[Brett]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com.

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homburg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com it's time now for the Brady Report and it's brought to you by all Pro Shades Concepts. We were talking about Shade just now we're talking about when the sun gets hot and what we were talking about in our backyards and where we want shade. And you buy umbrellas and umbrellas don't work. And you put this here and then it moves. You have to go outside and put the umbrella down or it blows into the pool. You don't have to deal with any of that stuff. All pro Shade takes care of everything by making these amazing shades that are custom built right to your house or right to whatever you need them to be custom built to and provide a potential 20 degree drop in that area. That's how good these are. They cut out 95% of the sun's UV rays. We need that here in Arizona. Shade is important, especially with what we got coming around the corner. Memorial Day's here. The heat is right behind it. That means you're going to be looking for shade. You got pets in the backyard, hanging around. It's a great spot for them. It's just good for everything, great for resale, great for everything. Allprochade.com that's where you go. Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Wednesday morning to you Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello world.

[Brady]

Hi Happy talk like Yoda Day.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

And National Waiters and Waitresses Day. Buzzfeed recently pulled thousands of current former servers and asked some fun questions. We were talking about earlier this, earlier this week. Some of the situations have you ever eaten food off a customer's plate while.

[John Holmberg]

They'Re sitting there when they're done? No, they're not. That's not a customer.

[Brady]

32% said yes.

[John Holmberg]

That's not a customer's plate anymore. That's dishes.

[Brady]

Have you ever dated or hooked up with a cook?

[John Holmberg]

Every. Every single girl that's worked in a restaurant that's chain has done that.

[Brady]

25% liars.

[John Holmberg]

70. 70 minimum. And the only reason they're not hooking up with a cook at the place they're at is because they married a cook from the last place.

[Brady]

I think they got these switched around. Have you ever come into work sick or hungover? 81% said yes. Yeah, that might be in the hookup number.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Have you ever finished a customer's alcoholic.

[John Holmberg]

Beverage after they leave? You're an alcoholic.

[Brett]

The hell's wrong with people?

[Brady]

6% you're an alcoholic.

[John Holmberg]

You have a problem. What are you, Spalding from Caddyshack? Just chugging the leftovers till you get the cigarette butts.

[Brady]

Have you ever given someone free food or a free drink because you thought they were cute?

[John Holmberg]

Heck yeah.

[Brady]

30% said 100.

[John Holmberg]

I used to avoid Dinners for the hot customers. I would be as a manager. I'd walk by, I'm like, you know what? We had a kid, a waiter named Scooter. You had them all over there. Scooter and Skeeter. Skeeter was. Skeeter was a. A girl killer. Never seen anything like it in my life. This dude just was. I don't know how he did it. He'd walk up to the table and chicks loved him. He was like 5, 9, 108 pounds. Immediately gave the energy of like, we're going to bang tonight. You know that, right? And these girls came out. He trained me as a waiter and I'd never seen anything like it. Like, he'd have regulars come back to a rib place, hot chicks, didn't get it. And he would walk up to the table and he'd be like, watch this. And he goes, you know what, ladies? I've had so much fun with you guys tonight. I'm just gonna avoid the whole meal. Oh my God. Really? Next thing you know, we're at Skeeters. He lives over by McFeely. He lived right over on Longmore. He said, come over later. I'm like, really? He goes, yeah, come over later tonight. After the. I'm like, all right. There's those girls. They. He bought them dinner at Tony Roma's of all place. Next thing you know, we're in the pool with these customers and we did more than eat off their plate. Well, he did. I watched.

[Brady]

The last question was, have you ever retaliated against a rude customer? Said, yes, guilty. They did not say how.

[John Holmberg]

Don't mess with the people who control your food.

[Brett]

Ever watch waiting?

[John Holmberg]

Watch the movie waiting and say if. If you're. If you watch waiting and you're like, oh, that's just an exaggeration. You. You are wrong. That is the way it works. That movie is surveillance cameras of every chain restaurant that's ever existed, ever. Every mid level place ever. Brady, you don't even know Porkopolis and Waiting. Same. You might have thought you were running an establishment that was different. You were not. And I have proof. Because a cook impregnated one of your girls and you had to garnish his wages. You had the same crap going on at Pork Oblisation that was going on at everywhere else. It is universal. You had people you don't even know dipping their balls and drinks, spitting in food, doing terrible things to people. It's just the way it was. Yes.

[Brett]

Yes, you can own it now.

[John Holmberg]

You have to. Now they closed it for a reason. Too many people died. Yeah, you had it. That Dave guy, that lifelong waiter you had. Remember him? Talk too much, hung around the tables too long.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Had to ask him to leave a few times as a customer because management wouldn't do it. He tells life stories. That guy was alive.

[Brady]

He lived a life.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he did. Of spitting in people's food. That dude's got some balls. And drink stories, guaranteed.

[Brady]

Couple of basis fun facts.

[John Holmberg]

You don't like talking about Porkopolis's dark side, but it existed. My favorite was your hot waitress that ended up getting pregnant by kitchen guy. By a kitchen guy who was a convict, if I recall correctly.

[Brady]

He sat for a couple of months.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Aren't most kitchen guys, though? For the most part, yes.

[John Holmberg]

In places that aren't like 44 and stuff. Yes.

[Brady]

His traffic tickets built up a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

That and he probably stabbed some people.

[Brett]

That's what my thigh told me. She goes, oh, man, you want the drugs? It's in the kitchen.

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[Brett]

That's normally where you go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It's amazing. Given a choice of paying, you know, like $500 for the tickets that you owe or sit for two months. I'll sit.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know the whole story. Yeah, that wasn't traffic tickets. That was the thing that ended up getting him busted for the thing he actually did. You don't get two months for unpaid traffic tickets unless you got thousands of them.

[Brady]

Yeah, your guy was a court date.

[John Holmberg]

Your guy had a felony on him. I'm sure there's some heavy misdemeanors. Yeah. Missing court dates and all that stuff. Usually the 500 fine. He fought back because there was other charges going. So he took the two months before they added on the real things, came back to you and said, yeah, traffic tickets.

[Larry McFeely]

Ain't life a B? Anyway, back at it. Congrats on being a daddy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, for now. That girl, was he not sticking around? He toledoed that kid. Yeah. There's no way. The reason he sat. He sat in jail for two months because they didn't want to see that blonde chick at his door anymore. She was beautiful, but there was a reason she was a waitress at Porkopolis. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

[Dick Toledo]

Hispanics don't Toledo their kids.

[Brady]

Yeah, they're probably still together.

[John Holmberg]

Probably a few.

[Brady]

He's 10 now.

[John Holmberg]

You think they're still together? Thriving, yo.

[Brady]

Yeah. Together.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Thriving.

[John Holmberg]

You mean the six foot, smoking hot waitress that was in her mid-20s that just found a job at Porkopolis and immediately got impregnated by the staff. You think she's stable now? It was pretty quick, Brady. It wasn't. Because I remember when you first opened, we're like, wow, where'd you find that one? I know.

[Dick Toledo]

The unicorn.

[Larry McFeely]

She's good stuff. She's worked at 40 different restaurants. She knows her way around.

[John Holmberg]

Well, my food's taking a little while. And then you'd be like.

[Larry McFeely]

Pinchy waitress.

[John Holmberg]

And then it was over.

[Brady]

He's a bad boy.

[John Holmberg]

He was a bad boy. All right. I've got a baby in me.

[Larry McFeely]

That's yours.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna go to jail for two months. Traffic tickets. That's right. And you believed it? There were boogers and snot and all sorts of stuff floating around that restaurant. Had to be. You didn't have the ability to hire people at a decent wage. It's just the way it was.

[Brady]

Michael Jordan didn't lose three games in a row with the Chicago Bulls ever.

[Brett]

Wow.

[Brady]

An eight year stretch. Oh, from November of 1990 to June of 1998.

[John Holmberg]

That's the highest. He was gone for three years. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You can't count two of those years.

[Brady]

That includes 626 games regular season and the Rocket playoffs.

[Dick Toledo]

Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Still amazing. Yeah, they borrowed a couple of championships there.

[Brady]

There were such low expectations for Star wars that it was only on 42 screens nationwide.

[John Holmberg]

It's opening weekend, which was May 26th. 75 or 76 is coming up on the anniversary.

[Brady]

6.

[John Holmberg]

It might have been.

[Dick Toledo]

No, 77.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was 77. You're right. You're right.

[Dick Toledo]

The first blockbuster.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dick Toledo]

Did you know that. That the way that they released films was it would. It would spend like three weeks in your town and then three weeks later it would move like it didn't open everywhere.

[John Holmberg]

It traveled like a play.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I didn't know that.

[Brady]

We might have done this one before. Ronald McDonald is called Donald McDonald in Japan.

[John Holmberg]

There's a reason they probably weren't at first Donald McDonald. But then after they heard everybody, they couldn't stop laughing like. Or Lionel McDonald. We're gonna go with Donald for you folks. Oh, thank you very much. Is it Dunno me Donno.

[Unknown]

Pt It's Larry mcfailey. And whether you're tearing up desert trails in a Tacoma, towing your toys with a tough tundra, or exploring the back roads in the all new 4Runner, your Toyota is built to go the distance. Now, obviously our roads and weather can be brutal. That's why keeping your Toyota in top shape. Key, Trust only genuine Toyota technicians with genuine Toyota parts from oil Changes to full checkups. Your Valley Toyota dealer has got you covered. So before you hit the trail, hit the service bay, visit your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[Brett]

Hey Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.

[Byron]

I sure do. It's M and P Guns customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our mast trained craftsman. You can select our designs or make up your own.

[Brett]

Well, can you do this to my gun?

[Byron]

We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No wait.

[Brett]

Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP GunsCustoms.com it stick to little.

[Dick Toledo]

For FanDuel, America's number one sports book right now. With FanDuel you can make the smarter play with performance trends. You can get the latest stats right inside the app and see who's heating up. Get started today by visiting FanDuel.com KUPD and you'll get started with $200 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first five dollar bet. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21 plus and President Arizona first online real money wager only. Five dollars first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawal bonus bets that expire seven days after receipt restrictions apply. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to.

[John Holmberg]

53342 Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

Brady's Bigotry News.

[Larry McFeely]

So this is the clown we're introducing to you guys. His name's Ronald. Why don't we all give that a try?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Very good. Ronald McDonald.

[Dick Toledo]

Is he like Adrian Cronauer?

[Larry McFeely]

It's Ronald McDonald. I am a speech therapist in Japan.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, let me try again. Nerd.

[Larry McFeely]

We're just gonna call him Donnie. Donnie the Clown. Donnie the Burger Clown.

[Brady]

In a dating survey asking about your dating habits and what's acceptable not. You ready for this? 56% of people say it's totally acceptable to use a coupon now on a first date.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Are you crazy?

[Brett]

Nope.

[Brady]

61% of the people surveyed said frugality is an attractive trait.

[Brett]

No, it's not.

[Brady]

No, they're saying it's the younger generation.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I'll just put my yarmulke on and I'll take you out.

[Brett]

I will wear that too, because that. No way.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, I just got a text from a guy said Porkopolis was dark. Brady. The only time I ever ate there, the waiter said to us, hi, welcome to Porkopolis. Just want to let you know not to order the dirty bird today. And I said, why? And he just shook his head and said, just don't order it. Something terrible had happened to the bird.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that the turkey sandwich?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, I've had that.

[Brett]

A restaurant before too. It's a Chinese restaurant. I'll get the house chicken. No. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, no, no. Don't. Lost to me. Cooks on a rampage. Don't order that. Yeah, they'll tell you Chinese restaurants are pretty honest. Oh yeah, I went into one and I'm like, are you guys still serving? They're like, ah, we don't want to serve you. Like, what are you too busy? I'm like, really? The whole night it was over. It was late. It was like an hour until they closed. The place was in shambles. No more. No more kitchen veri.

[Brett]

Go to Donnie McDonald.

[John Holmberg]

Go to Donald McDonald. He very good. Very good burger. You're Chinese. You can say it. Not like those scum Japanese. Let try again.

[Larry McFeely]

The worst.

[Brady]

The environmental Working group just posted their annual report on the best sunscreens to buy. And at least by their standards, only one in four sunscreens on the market are actually safe and effective.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. Say that again.

[Brady]

It doesn't mean 75% don't work. That you're saying it's about the safe. The prospect. It's much the safe word in the chemicals, huh? Basically, sunscreen. The cream. Sunscreen is way better than the spray. Okay, Spray has chemicals in it that are actually not healthy for the body.

[John Holmberg]

Is the John Holmberg syllopsism happening right in front of you?

[Brady]

The key is mineral based.

[John Holmberg]

Always get one that's like watery. Mineral based. That's not man made. Like I've been saying for years, I can't believe a man made chemical is safer for you than the sun's rays. In moderation, the sun is super healthy for you. Not that sunburn I had a couple of months ago.

[Brady]

Chemical based sunscreens still itches. The spray on versions work by creating a chemical reaction to absorb UV rays and disperse them as heat. But both options can prevent a sunburn. But studies have found the chemicals in that second type of spray arms cancerous. Absorbing into your bloodstream and still could be detected days or weeks later. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

And also shut your body's natural ability to react to the sun so your pigment shuts down. Because this stuff lives inside you for a while and makes your body think it doesn't need to do anything. It's protected and you'll actually burn faster. Be like Middle Easterners. I never say that. Be like Middle Easterners and cover up if you're going to be in the sun for a long time. Long sleeve T shirts, hats. Do like construction workers have to do.

[Brett]

Those poor guys walking every morning.

[John Holmberg]

Feel bad for him, but my dad used to be stringent about like, you will wear long sleeves on my job site.

[Brady]

They're walking by, say Covid break.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, they got beekeeper outfits on.

[John Holmberg]

They're covered. Have to be. I can't have lawsuits from that. No, no, no. You're not pouring chemicals all over your body and everything. Just wear a thin, long T shirt. Middle Easterners cover up. They don't have hardly any skin cancer problems over there. They look like idiots because we hate their outfits. But if we did that, wouldn't have to worry about skin cancer. We love tank tops and shorts. And we burn up. And we're all from Europe. We shouldn't be in the sun.

[Brady]

We got a Florida man that got in trouble. Juan Espinosa was speeding in his chevy equino equinox. 118 miles per hour.

[Brett]

I think those will go that fast.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus.

[Brady]

He was pushing it. Had two young kids in the car, too.

[Dick Toledo]

Oops.

[Brady]

Looked like he'd been drinking because here's his mug shot.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's drunk. He was the. He's the former singer of the Fine Young Cannibals. Just like that guy. By the way, I'm getting questions, Brady. Do you have any. What did they used to. What did they call Grimace and the Hamburglar in Japan instead of Glimus Glimas. We cannot do any of these.

[Larry McFeely]

Okay, okay, okay.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Larry McFeely]

Mirror McCheese. Shouldn't be too hard for you guys. Make a Cheese. No, no. Just MC Cheese. Mayor.

[John Holmberg]

Mickey Cheese.

[Larry McFeely]

I like how you do it. Okay. Grimace.

[Brady]

The Indianapolis.

[John Holmberg]

I want to send Brady to Brady's effing with us. Japan as English as a second language teacher.

[Dick Toledo]

As awkward as he was at Costco. He loves this.

[Larry McFeely]

There she was just walking down the street singing. You guys talk funny.

[Brady]

The Indianapolis 500 is this Sunday. And this year a very special race is happening. It's happening on Friday. The Wiener 500. Call it the Weenie 500. All six Wiener mobiles.

[John Holmberg]

We're racing the wiener at the Indy track on the Brickyard.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, that's going to be a disaster. Those things aren't exactly built for the turns, are they?

[Dick Toledo]

Wiener rubbing during the.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm sure it's, you know, rubbing wieners. You ain't rubbing wieners. You ain't racing.

[Brady]

You got the chai dog. Representing the Midwest, Katie K. New York.

[Brett]

Set up out there this weekend with their mouths.

[Brady]

Yeah, the slaw dog.

[John Holmberg]

The finish line is KDKB listeners with their mouths gaping open at the checkered flag. Waiting for them.

[Brady]

Just the Sonoran dog.

[John Holmberg]

Adorable.

[Brady]

They've decorated all the wiener mobiles. The Isn't chili dog. And then the Seattle dog. I don't know what a Seattle.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't either.

[John Holmberg]

Pretentious kale. It's got coffee on.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not meat.

[John Holmberg]

It's tofu. And unemployment and like picketing and homelessness. It probably has a heroin needle. That's Portland. No, it isn't. That's unemployment in Seattle. Is. Trust me. I got friends who moved out of there who still work there because they're like, I can't be downtown. It's just nothing but heroin addicts.

[Brady]

Race will happen on Friday at 5pm.

[John Holmberg]

I saw a thing. I don't know if that's true in India also, but in Daytona, the banks on the turns are so high that if you're not going 60, your car slides off of them. Like, that's how hard the banking is. That's how fast.

[Brady]

Yeah, there was one in Wisconsin when I said it was the. It's like 33 degrees.

[John Holmberg]

That's huge.

[Brady]

Small track. Yeah, but you gotta remember, they warn.

[Dick Toledo]

You on the highways when it's a 6% grade.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's a grade heading down. I'm talking about, like making a turn where the road is on the side and you have to go fast enough that you kind of get that inertia. I don't know if wienermobiles can do that.

[Brady]

I don't think they're that steep.

[Brett]

They probably won't go that high.

[John Holmberg]

They'll just run inside.

[Dick Toledo]

You can go low.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because I don't know if making a turn in a wiener mobile at 60 is a good idea.

[Brady]

At that slinger speedway, you had to have two sets of tires on each car.

[John Holmberg]

That's how all cars are, Brady.

[Brady]

But two different sets. Sorry. Oh, the inside wheel was a. A lot wider than the outside wheel, huh? That is for the.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see. What say so the just different size tires. Yeah. Okay, I gotcha.

[Brady]

Slinger stingers they're called.

[Larry McFeely]

They're gonna tell you you can't have this. Japs, but they have it. Trust me. Wander in there and let's practice this. Hey, chief. My name's Kim Chong Ching. I'd like a grilled cheese sandwich now. You try.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Very good. Hello, my name is Kyoto. I would reckon grilled chilies, they'll understand.

[Larry McFeely]

They'll get it for you.

[John Holmberg]

I want to go to McDonald's with you and order a grilled cheese today and see you as an adult. I gotcha. As an adult, see how they treat you and then realize how much semen you've eaten in your life with that horrible grilled cheese order at McDonald's that you thought you were entitled to as a kid. Holberg's morning sickness. Holberg's morning sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

28.

[John Holmberg]

Can you.

[Unknown]

Spring is in full swing now and summer is right around the corner. Hey, it's Larry McFeely. And there's no better time to hit the trails, the lakes and those wide open desert roads in a brand new Toyota. Whether you're hauling gear to Roosevelt Lake and the powerful Toyota Tundra, navigating rocky trails in the rugged Tacoma, or exploring Sedona in The all new 4Runner, Toyota's got the muscle and comfort to match your most excellent adventures. Head to your Valley toyota dealer or valleytoyotadealers.com today and gear up for summer in a ride that's built for the heat and the adventures. Summer starts here. Toyota. Let's go places.

[Brett]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. M and P Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection. Handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett]

Well, it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpguns.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

It would be.

[John Holmberg]

I wonder if they they would look at you. I would. You know what I'd look for first? The guy behind the. We'd Go in and do it because I don't want to see the drive through because they just. I would watch his hands ball up and fists the second he said, I'm gonna punch this guy in the nose.

[Dick Toledo]

John, the indie track is much longer or. Yeah, longer than Daytona. It's not as bank, so they don't have that bank.

[John Holmberg]

That bank's amazing.

[Brady]

Got a couple of radio videos. First one's a girl doing a little flame throwing. Actually spitting out of her mouth. And it goes wrong.

[John Holmberg]

She's got. What's she doing? Oh, she's flame throwing in like Bavaria. Where are they? Oh, geezer mouth's on fire. That'll happen when your flame throws.

[Dick Toledo]

The risk of the job.

[John Holmberg]

It's why we watch. Oh, and that's some lady with a drum just punching her in the face.

[Brady]

Just one drum.

[John Holmberg]

Does no one have water in this country?

[Brady]

Everyone keeps playing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the one guy just keeps. Keeps the beat. It's the worst Laura Brannigan song I've ever heard, by the way. That's why we watch flame throwing. It's not for success. Have you ever walked away from a flamethrower and told people about it? Unless they lit on fire, I've seen plenty of them. It's never a story. Later in the day. Some lady blew it, big deal. But when her face lights on fire, you got a story forever. She's the world's best flamethrower because she took the risk and it failed. That's why we watch tightropes, flamethrowers, bungee jumping, nascar. To a certain degree, you're absolutely right. We don't watch for success. We watch for the disaster. Because that's the fun of it.

[Brady]

And now table breaking.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, jumping off. Oh, jumping off a roof onto a table.

[Brady]

Body landed. The second.

[John Holmberg]

Hold on.

[Brady]

Pile drive.

[John Holmberg]

Two people at once jumping onto a table. And one lands there. His taint. Hold on. One kid is jumping on his back. It's a girl, I think.

[Brady]

I think.

[John Holmberg]

And then the other one is a guy that leaps over onto and lands on the person landing on the table right on their head. They're dead.

[Brady]

I think the girls.

[Dick Toledo]

A big dude.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's a guy over on the sidewalk. It's two guys.

[Dick Toledo]

They're just.

[John Holmberg]

They just. Yeah, Tybo, Billy Banks. They're big on Billy Banks stuff. They learned this from Billy Banks last video. Oh, boy.

[Brady]

The last one is an amazing save.

[John Holmberg]

There's somebody hanging off the top of a bill.

[Brady]

Jumper. Got a jumper.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's a jumper, she's a jumper. She's got her hand. She's on the outside of the. But grabs her by the hair. She's hanging off the building, and somebody's holding her by the hair in one arm. And here comes another guy leaning off the edge of the building. He grabs the arm while the guy has her by her glorious hair as this lady in the background tries ever so hard to say, ronald McDonald. Oh, my God, they're pulling her up onto the ceiling or the rooftop by her. She gives a little jump. They got her. She's good. It's because she was in Brady. She was in Brady's speech class and just could not get an A. I.

[Larry McFeely]

Don'T think you're ever gonna get it.

[Brady]

Sue couldn't get it right.

[Larry McFeely]

I think Sue's gonna get an F. I try so hard, Blady, you're never gonna make it. Hey, sue, mind you, anything.

[John Holmberg]

A big fire.

[Brett]

Use sunblock.

[Larry McFeely]

Yeah, you guys need your sunblock just in case we get mad at you again.

[Dick Toledo]

John, you're right about the sliding. When they repaved pir, they had to chain up the machines that were paving it to keep them from sliding, tumble over and.

[John Holmberg]

Like, a wienermobile's like the.

[Brett]

It's a big wiener.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's a big ass wiener. Thing will roll around like crazy out there.

[Brady]

Thanks, Brad.

[John Holmberg]

The wheelbase doesn't really match up to the top of the car. It's very top heavy, I assume. Well, yeah, it's a big winner.

[Brady]

Got a wide.

[John Holmberg]

It's weird. All right, Brett, what do you got?

[Brett]

All right, little surveillance camera action at the gas station here.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, we got. We're at a chevron or something. Here comes a car pulling in. There's a truck with ladders at the gas station. Just mind his own business. Here comes a car pulling into the other pump now out of sight, but I assume it's gonna back up. There's somebody standing at a bus stop.

[Brady]

Cookie.

[John Holmberg]

That's not good.

[Brady]

That's to me.

[John Holmberg]

Here comes a guy. Oh, here comes someone walking out with a hoodie to greet the new car.

[Dick Toledo]

This is not new Jersey where they pump your gas for you.

[John Holmberg]

Might be.

[Dick Toledo]

Look at that.

[John Holmberg]

This dude just starts fiddling around with the gas tank. I guess you can't pump your own gas here. Here come. Oh, the guy at the bus stop just got run over. Whoa. Totally unexpected.

[Dick Toledo]

What happened to the other guy?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, he got taken out by the trash can.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the trash can came flying across.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

And then Leslie Jones from Saturday night live just walks through the no reason at all. No reason at all. And then, then they do an after shot. Under the Carson is still under the car about a mile down the road. I didn't see that happening. I thought this was definitely going to be a gas station incident. It's just the bus stop. My focus was not on the right spot.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that a hand?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're just kicking parts of body out from under that car. All right, that's enough.

[Dick Toledo]

One more time.

[John Holmberg]

One more time.

[Dick Toledo]

So fast I missed it.

[Brady]

It is weird to an auto body place.

[John Holmberg]

So they get that car fixed up. Yeah, just hose that off.

[Brett]

Shane Orlando will be calling them today.

[John Holmberg]

There's the car that gets hit. The blue one looks like Vader with a can. Yeah, yeah, he's got a cane. Not running out of the way too fast.

[Dick Toledo]

I did him a favor.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think you think people with canes are better off just getting run over.

[Brett]

Where's the trash can? Hitting the mat.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think he. I think.

[Brett]

Oh, that trash can came out of nowhere.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know where the dude probably hit something before.

[Dick Toledo]

Hit it before.

[John Holmberg]

There is a trash can that just comes rogue flying in. And then there's Leslie Jones for no reason. That's all right. Here's. Okay, this is. This is a woman with two amputated legs giving a thigh job to a half erect penis. Wow. She is rubbing.

[Brett]

Well, could you be fully. I mean, if that shows up.

[John Holmberg]

No, I would not have an erection. Is that.

[Dick Toledo]

That's mid thigh too. That's knee.

[John Holmberg]

It's just above the knee they've chopped off.

[Brady]

It's like two belugas are handling.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this might have been.

[Brett]

There's no finish.

[John Holmberg]

This might have been my friend disgraced Dr. Jordan's last patient because the cut off her legs just above the knees. He's a chiropractor. He shouldn't have done it. He shouldn't have done it. Wow. You get it. But you would if she offered, wouldn't you? If she's amputated just above the knees and she goes, I don't know if.

[Brett]

I could be erect for it though.

[John Holmberg]

I'll beat you off with these.

[Brett]

I mean, I think I would do it just for the stories. Just so I can come in and tell you guys about it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, if she was in Daisy Dukes. Yeah. You know, and you're like. She goes, you like what you see? And I'm like, not really, but. But I'll beat you off with these.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Brett]

A hell of a story for the boys tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Where Right here are we gonna. We don't have to get a room or anything. I have to spend money on this. She goes, nope. And then she'd do it. I would do it, and I would do it with you in the room, Brett. All right, here's a train tracks. Four sets of train tracks. Here comes the train. Somebody's filming. So it's not rude going. There's evidently some sort of Indian tik tok challenge about to occur. All right, this is annoying already. I kind of wish the train would hit me. Okay, train's barreling along. Is anybody walking? What do we got going on? No. Oh, Jesus. Why? Why? Two people just killed themselves. They ran in front of the train last second. No, I think they were planning their death.

[Dick Toledo]

How about the brakes on that train, though?

[John Holmberg]

I've noticed the train stopped fast.

[Larry McFeely]

Fast.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, there they are.

[John Holmberg]

There they are. Okay, that's enough. Okay. Wow. Okay. Wow the world. Jesus.

[Brett]

About a big lady button for you.

[John Holmberg]

Do I have to? Yeah, that's. Lady button is bigger than my wiener. Whoa.

[Dick Toledo]

Remember, China, that's big.

[John Holmberg]

China's jealous.

[Brady]

Is it a five o' clock shadow?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

The sound effects are there, too.

[Brady]

Oh, look at. They look like whiskers.

[John Holmberg]

That's a penis. Where a. This is called. Okay. It's a hermaphrodite is what we're looking at. There's a lot going on here. I don't know what language that is, but it's gross. She's speaking Donald McDonald.

[Dick Toledo]

We're getting a fine for that.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna get a money shot at the end of this, boys, if she keeps playing.

[Brady]

That's a squid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that. That weird little man. I think that's spongebob's Gary attached to that woman's vagina.

[Dick Toledo]

No, that's Squidward's nose.

[John Holmberg]

Stop rubbing, Gary. Oh, yeah, she's. She's tugging the thing. Whatever that thing is, she's tugging it. Stop doing that to Gary. He's gonna throw up. Oh, God.

[Dick Toledo]

And again with.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, We've got another 30 seconds of this lady. She's got great cans, by the way. Whatever's going on upstairs would fool you at a bar. Those are nice implants, man. The girl part just got revealed. She spread the girl part open and moved the penis part out of the way. Penis is about 2 inches, by the way. It's not, but it's thick. I'm gonna give it to her for what it is. Looks like a. Looks like a. Yeah, she got some girth. It looks like a crawdad, didn't it? Sort of look like a crawdad crawling on it.

[Brady]

I feel like it does. A squid.

[John Holmberg]

It had a little squid thing, but it was like those. What do they call those things?

[Dick Toledo]

Gross claws.

[John Holmberg]

No, the other one's prawns.

[Dick Toledo]

Prawns.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeesh. Is that it, Brett?

[Dick Toledo]

Seafood tower today, boys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, let's head on over to the. To the lobster Langosta Roja. I'm kind of hankering for some prawns.

[Brett]

Apparently cream cheese is in the Seattle dog is what they're saying.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, that's when somebody else said it originated because they used to put it on an everything bagel. So the. The buns are like everything big Seattle back to Canada.

[John Holmberg]

I'm so.

[Dick Toledo]

Cheese and sauteed onions.

[John Holmberg]

This stupid. Stupid. We're different than everybody else town.

[Brett]

Jonathan knows when we're gonna have HMS.

[John Holmberg]

Yarmulkes, we need to get a few of them. That's not a bad idea.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, I'm looking right now.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway. Yuck.

[Dick Toledo]

Do we need to get them blessed? How does it work?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I think you just put them on. It's like sunblock. Hey, there's your Brandy report, everybody. It's 98 Kup Yuck, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness, and we're talking to you about ReactDefense.com, the home of tactical Black self defense training. You know all about it by now. Get in great shape, learn stuff you didn't know you needed to know, prepare for a life you just can't prepare for until you start doing the work. And right now, the price is unbeatable. Two months of personal training right there. Hands on react defense self defense system. It is 199 bucks for too much. You're not getting that anywhere else. And all you have to do is go to reactdefense.com, the home of tactical black. What is dedication? The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariona. We call him day date for sure. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge. And there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we worked together. We did a good job. That's dedication. Find out [e-mail] brought to you by.

[Byron]

The U.S. department of Health and Human.

[Unknown]

Services and the Ad Council.