05-30-25 - Big Rob Rodriguez - Stand Up Live - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: May 30, 2025 - Big Rob Rodriguez - Stand Up Live - In Studio

Host: John Holmberg
Guest: Big Rob Rodriguez
Release Date: May 30, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg welcomes comedian and entrepreneur Big Rob Rodriguez for an in-depth and entertaining in-studio conversation. The discussion spans Big Rob's personal journey, professional endeavors, comedy career, and social observations, delivering both humor and heartfelt insights for listeners.

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Weight Loss Journey

One of the primary topics is Big Rob's significant weight loss and the factors contributing to his transformation.

• Initial Weight and Motivation: Big Rob shares that he once weighed around 270 pounds, noting, “Back when you guys first met me, I'd be about 270” (02:55).

• Medical Intervention: He discusses the role of his doctor’s advice in kickstarting his weight loss: “she said, you know, if you want to make a change, make a change” (02:16).

• Achievements: Rob highlights his progress, stating, “I went down to probably about almost 180” (03:56), and further mentions maintaining a healthier weight at 195 pounds (04:00).

• Health Concerns: John Holmberg expresses concern, “So something life altering had to happen. There's nobody just drops weight like that” (04:09), to which Rob reassures, “I'm in good health. I'm a diabetic, but that's good health” (02:28).

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Personal Life and Relationships

The conversation delves into Big Rob's personal life, including his friendships and living situations.

• Friendship with Doug Hopkins: Rob reminisces about his time with Doug in their shared apartment, mentioning, “That's from your company?” (08:24), and humorously recalls the messy departure: “your mattress was coated in blood” (05:45).

• Living Arrangements: Rob discusses his current living situation, referencing his apartment and the challenges of moving furniture: “I'm still really out of. I got, you know, here's the big” (05:15).

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Comedy Career and Tour with Gary Owen

Big Rob provides insights into his comedy career and his ongoing tour with fellow comedian Gary Owen.

• Tour Experiences: He shares anecdotes from their performances, including a memorable event at the Kentucky Derby: “It was the last dance at the Titanic. Because white people really dress stupid for this” (09:00).

• Gary Owen’s Personal Life: Rob updates listeners on Gary’s recent divorce and new fatherhood: “He just had twins” (18:32), highlighting the personal growth both comedians are experiencing.

• Upcoming Projects: Big Rob mentions working on a new comedy special slated for the fall, stating, “I'm signing now to shoot my new comedy special this fall” (24:02).

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Business Ventures

Beyond comedy, Big Rob discusses his entrepreneurial ventures.

• Furniture Company: He introduces his furniture business, TotalAZ.com, emphasizing its wholesale offerings and resilience against tariffs: “We have a wholesale. So I buy from manufacturer Beautiful” (16:34).

• Merger and Expansion: Rob explains a recent business merger that helped save his company from a hostile takeover, remarking, “I had to survive that” (16:30).

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Health and Social Observations

The duo explores broader social topics, particularly focusing on health and societal changes.

• HIV Commercials: A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the portrayal of HIV in modern media. Big Rob humorously critiques an HIV commercial: “I'm looking for the story. I want to see what the room, what kind of furniture they have” (07:50).

• Perceptions of HIV: John Holmberg adds, “At this point. Yeah. We kind of cured AIDS and nobody celebrates it by talks about” (13:00), sparking a conversation on societal attitudes toward the disease.

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Personal Anecdotes and Humor

The exchange is laced with humorous stories and lighthearted banter.

• Finger Injury: Big Rob shares a funny yet painful story about his thumb: “How do I do it? You go like this” (21:02), illustrating his rough experiences from playing lacrosse.

• Gym Experiences: Both hosts joke about gym culture and stereotypes, with Big Rob mocking barista interactions: “I just want a freaking milk in my freaking coffee” (19:55).

• Stand-Up Challenges: Rob candidly discusses the pressures of maintaining originality in comedy, saying, “I have to have my own original thoughts” (26:13).

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Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Big Rob reflecting on his personal growth and future aspirations. He emphasizes the importance of health, resilience, and maintaining a positive outlook despite past hardships: “I live a great life. I have some great friends” (18:52). John Holmberg expresses his support and concern, highlighting the genuine camaraderie between them.

Listeners are left with a blend of laughter and meaningful insights, showcasing Big Rob Rodriguez's journey both on and off the stage.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Big Rob Rodriguez: “I went down to probably about almost 180” (03:56)
• John Holmberg: “Something life altering had to happen. There's nobody just drops weight like that” (04:09)
• Big Rob Rodriguez: “I'm in good health. I'm a diabetic, but that's good health” (02:28)
• Big Rob Rodriguez: “It's a straight, yeah, it's healthy and be funny” (25:36)
• John Holmberg: “We kind of cured AIDS and nobody celebrates it by talks about” (13:00)
• Big Rob Rodriguez: “I learned when I was 15. Had a little jagged nail. So we just cut it off because it wouldn't grow back” (21:13)
• Big Rob Rodriguez: “I actually saw. I'm signing now to shoot my new comedy special this fall” (24:02)

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This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a compelling mix of humor, personal stories, and thoughtful discussions, making it a must-listen for fans of engaging and authentic radio conversations.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[John Holmer]

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[John Holmberg]

Chilling away for my friends at New Vision Auto Glass. My friend just hit a bird in his truck. Well, actually, the bird hit his truck, but it hit so hard that the windshield broke. New Vision Autoglass has a warehouse right here in town, so sometimes you can actually get the work done the same day you call. And not only that, you know they're going to give you up to $375 cash back. Go to new vision autoglass.com answer a few questions, find out how much you qualify. If you've got a broken windshield, at least get the feathers off. And then call 480-210-9090. New Vision Auto Glass, proud sponsor of the Arizona Diamondbacks. It's John Holmberg here, seeing clear as a bell, thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Good vision. It's imperative all the pro ball players in Town Trust Dr. Jay Schwartz. And so do I. My experience. I went from seeing 2400 back to close to 2020 after my complimentary consultation with Dr. Schwartz. He put a plan together and got me seeing beautifully, clearly and vividly. You can do it, too. Get rid of those glasses or contacts and get your consultation with Dr. Schwartz now. Go to Schwartz laser.com or call 480-483-Eyes, Suns and Diamondbacks. Trust them. So should you go with the pros? Go. Schwartz Laser Eye center still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail] look at this. Skinny Rob is here. Who is this guy? Rob, where'd you go?

[Big Rob]

I don't know this man.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know this man. In. In my phone. You're big. Rob, get on the microphone. You gotta pull that thing down. What's the matter? What's that? Jesus. He's so skinny, his brain doesn't work anymore. You've lost blood flow to everything. Where'd you go?

[Big Rob]

Just good life. Good life.

[John Holmberg]

Is it. Or heroin. What is happening?

[Big Rob]

You know when I, when people say that, they're like, are you on Ozempic?

[John Holmberg]

Are you.

[Big Rob]

I just, you know, probably about, you know, year and a half ago after one of my doctor visits and just getting.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and.

[Big Rob]

And I'm. I'm in good health. I'm a diabetic, but that's, that's good health. So she said, she said, you know, you just, you know, if you want to make a change, make a change. So.

[John Holmberg]

But we never did. That's not what she said. Things were going the right direction.

[Big Rob]

No, no, it wasn't because I wasn't that big. I mean, you know, I was overweight, but, you know. But she.

[John Holmberg]

What was your biggest weight? You're a big dude.

[Big Rob]

Well, I mean, back when you probably. You guys first met me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

I'll be about 270.

[John Holmberg]

You were only 270. I'd have. I honestly had to guess a little bigger.

[Big Rob]

Whatever. That's. That's wps, that's white people thing.

[John Holmberg]

How did. Why did white people stuff get involved?

[Big Rob]

Oh, I thought you were bigger. Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

We know weight. It has nothing to do with race.

[Big Rob]

God. Yeah, but it's just still, you guys are bringing it up like that.

[John Holmberg]

You never ever go to a carnival and see anybody but a white guy guessing weight.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, but exactly. And then you don't hear like, like Mexicans, everybody's heavy.

[John Holmberg]

You know, like it's true.

[Big Rob]

Hispanics, black folks, you know, you don't want to talk about their weight.

[John Holmberg]

So you lose it all in a year.

[Big Rob]

Yeah. Gym.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

Different diet.

[John Holmberg]

You look good. Every tan.

[Big Rob]

Laundry.

[John Holmberg]

I always worry that when somebody loses that kind of weight, it's because the doctor told them this is it or not.

[Big Rob]

And that's what I said. That's what everybody always says. You okay? You sick? And then I actually lost. I actually gained some back going to the gym, you know, because it was. I was. I went down to probably about almost 180.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Big Rob]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Where are you at now? You're about 2.

[Big Rob]

No, 195. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Yeah. There you go. It looks good. Good for you. Congratulations. Was. It was. So something life altering had to happen. There's. Nobody just drops weight like that.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, we had.

[John Holmberg]

So you're not sick.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, we had.

[John Holmberg]

The doctor says you're not going to die. What this bitch do?

[Big Rob]

Yeah. No.

[John Holmberg]

Am I wrong?

[Big Rob]

No. You know, that's, that's, that's part of it. That's definitely part of it. It's in the equation.

[John Holmberg]

Heartbreak. Or is it I can't afford food anymore.

[Big Rob]

No, no. I'm not like, you know, I'm not like Doug Hopkins.

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean?

[Big Rob]

Situation where you. You pay a lot. Every month type of thing.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I see you're not there.

[Big Rob]

I pay, but I don't pay that much.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, good. Yeah. And Doug, argue back because you didn't make as much. You don' into that.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, I don't want to get into that. That was pocket change.

[John Holmberg]

Pissing match for dog.

[Big Rob]

I'm not going to do that.

[John Holmberg]

So that h. So there was life changing events that occurred that made it. So it's like, oh, I got to get back to being a different.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, I live in a different life.

[John Holmberg]

You know, Live in a different house. I'm guessing different house.

[Big Rob]

Not in the apartment downtown. You still got the apartment.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we still haven't. Haven't been down there for a little bit.

[Big Rob]

Have you. Have you changed the mattress yet?

[John Holmberg]

I turned it over. I'm still really out of. I got, you know, here's the big.

[Big Rob]

I have one to send over, but you' going to take it, then I'm going to have to deliver it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want your sadness mattress.

[Big Rob]

No, I'm. Well, you. You're. You're on the.

[John Holmberg]

I'm on the worst mattress.

[Big Rob]

You're on the worst mattress. I send you a new one.

[John Holmberg]

That's okay. I don't know how to get furniture up there and.

[Big Rob]

Well, I know I put all the furniture in.

[John Holmberg]

It's nearly impossible to get anybody to do that. Elevator that gets the furniture.

[Big Rob]

The freight elevator. Freight elevator in the back.

[John Holmberg]

For those of you who don't know the H and H Ranch, you were the original cohort with Doug Hopkins in that apartment. You were with him, and that's how I met you.

[Big Rob]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And that's. Yeah. So then when you left, for whatever reason that you left, I took over your space and your mattress was coated in blood and God knows what it was. It is hard.

[Big Rob]

We went to that story already. I. That was because Doug was letting. He was having orgies there and everything else Diddy style.

[John Holmberg]

Don't Make Me Picture TV's Doug Hopkins having an orgy thing down low. Yeah. You think he had freak off baby oil.

[Big Rob]

You don't want people driving on the 10 now looking at Dub Hopkins saying, oh, that's the orgy guy with the bloody mattress.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I do. He'll be listening. He said he could sell you he'll.

[Big Rob]

Sell you a house, and I can sell you a mattress.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we haven't told you. Big Rob's here. You're opening. You're with Gary Owen this weekend.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, I'm still on tour with Gary Owen. So we're Tempe and. No, we're at Santa Block.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, downtown. Okay. You're staying up live downtown, and you're there all weekend long. And Gary's. And he's coming in later today.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, he comes in later today.

[John Holmberg]

And he went through a divorce. Like, I don't know. I don't know what your situation is, but he went through a divorce.

[Big Rob]

Through a divorce. And. And it was kind of. It was kind of nasty for him. But, you know, he. He. He got through it. You know, that's. I guess that's what people do.

[John Holmberg]

We have a video of him with a girl recently. Because he likes him bigger, right?

[Big Rob]

No, I thought he liked black.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I know, I know. But he likes thick black girls, right? I thought he liked bigger ladies. And we have a video that proves otherwise.

[Big Rob]

I'll show you.

[John Holmberg]

I'll show you in a second.

[Big Rob]

You know what? His fans, I mean, they. They come in all shapes and sizes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, y.

[Big Rob]

Has admirers and all of that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So. Okay, so, yeah, so he's. He's gone through quite a bit. His life changed. But watch this. This is a video of Gary at his last show.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, guys ain't right. You guys.

[John Holmberg]

Is this why you lost weight? This is a steady diet of what you were on? Oh, wait. Wait for it there, Rob. You're going to like the end. Here it comes. I just thought we'd share that with our guest.

[Big Rob]

See, you know what it is when you get older. I said, I don't watch porn for the sex. I'm looking for the story. I want to see what the room, what kind of furniture they have.

[John Holmberg]

Did they Wayfair it? Is it nice stuff? What are we looking at?

[Big Rob]

Did they talk? Did they talk to each other before I look?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I look at the views and I try to assess, like, if it's a rental or if they're. I'm known to the real estate.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, yeah, you're in the real estate appointment.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, if it's a hotel, I can recognize something.

[Big Rob]

And me, too, because I. Like I said, I own a company that installs furniture and sells furniture. So I'm like, is that a hotel that I build it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Is that.

[Big Rob]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. It's weird to see that.

[Big Rob]

Is that the agent that's One of my pieces, the HNA Ranch, you know, is that my old room?

[John Holmberg]

You know, is that your furniture in the ranch in the 18 trench? So that's from your company?

[Big Rob]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know that.

[Big Rob]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Everything okay? Well then, yes, send me a good new wrapped up mattress. I don't know how to get it up there, but I'll get it.

[Big Rob]

I'll. I. I'll change it out. Yeah, I keep on saying that, but then. Then I wait a year and a half to get back on. On there and then.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and then you're gonna. What do you mean? You wait. You can come in anytime you want.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, well, I know I can, but there's nobody here. I gotta. You made me wait. You don't make fluffy weight downstairs.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we make fluffy weight down 20 minutes.

[Big Rob]

Heck yeah, we do. You don't even have a receptionist anymore.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's how bad radio's gotten. Radio's. We're fine, but most of it's done.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, well, you. I'm sure you carry.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we're carry here. We're it. That's it.

[Big Rob]

You're it. That's what I said. I'm like radio. What's that? I told people, hey, I'll be on the. They're all online.

[John Holmberg]

That's still. We're online, too.

[Big Rob]

Most online is the best thing.

[John Holmberg]

That's the only way to go. Doug also said, ask Rob about the Kentucky Derby.

[Big Rob]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

What did you do at the Kentucky Derby?

[Big Rob]

So you know going to the Kentucky Derby, Right. So I was blessed to go with Doug and friends. They didn't warn me. No Spanish people at the Kentucky Derby, only the little Mexicans. But I got dressed. I got Dr. I didn't know if I was at a pimp festival or. It was. It was the last dance at the Titanic. Because white people really dress stupid for this. Big hats, big hats, different colors that don't match. It look like a wedding, like a white wedding.

[John Holmberg]

Did you get in to the dress?

[Big Rob]

Oh, yeah. I had pictures and everything. I still got pictures.

[John Holmberg]

Me, Doug, you know, only Hispanic person there.

[Big Rob]

I'm the only Hispanic people looking at me like I was the help. But I was dressed. I mean, I had a purple hat on, white suit. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But that's not unusual for you.

[Big Rob]

The old man.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the old you. Yeah. All right.

[Big Rob]

So you should walk down to the stable, see how far you could get to the. But listen, so you know, they're always looking for bars.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

So what happens is we get separated during the day. So me and Doug get separated, my brother. And. And you know, kk, you know?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, Kevin. Yeah.

[Big Rob]

So Kevin, they get separated. Like, we'll. We'll find the bar for us. So they're working, walking down Louisville, and all of a sudden they text us. Hey, we found this place. It's over on so and so street, right? So we're like, okay, me and Doug start heading over also. Ten minutes, 15 minutes later, we get a text. Hold it. Don't. Don't come.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Big Rob]

We're like, what happened? And they send us a text, the name of the bar. And they went in the bar and everything. Yeah, it was weird though. They couldn't get it. The name of the bar was Triangles.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Big Rob]

And they really didn't understand the name. And then they went to the stool. Excuse me, The. To the bathroom. And they're at the stall and the urinal and there's a picture of. And it's triangle, spelled T R Y angle, okay? And then it shows like a silhouette of a guy behind another guy. So they found a gay bar, but didn't know until they were there for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, me and Doug are running there and they're like, yeah, come over the triangle. And I'm like, I'm like, what type of WPS is this, man?

[John Holmberg]

That's why you're so skinny.

[Big Rob]

Why? Because of triangle? Yeah, I got a gay lover.

[John Holmberg]

You get the aids?

[Big Rob]

Well, I got the aids, you know. But you know what, you ever seen those medical commercials? Like, I'm watching the drugs. I'm watching porn one night. It's ghetto porn. You ever watch ghetto. Ghetto porn has commercials, right? So I didn't know it was a commercial. So I'm watching the porn, all of a sudden it's a commercial. It's all a bunch of people dancing. Everyone's nice and they have nice outfits. There's a DJ in the music, and there's butterflies and there's flowers. And I'm like, man, this is a happy place. Then you see a guy walk over, good looking, white guy. He walks over and he's dancing. I'm like, man, he got rhythm, you know? Then you see the black guy walk over and he puts his hands around his waist from the back. I'm like, oh, crap, this is the HIV commercial. But everybody was so happy. And you're like, damn, I want H tyve, right? You ever seen a commercial? Like, I want. You know, everybody's happy on this commercial.

[John Holmberg]

Every singing and dancing for Jardi, they're protected.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're lowering their A1C. They're loving every second of life. Yeah. I like the big tarvy one with the giant Indian in the dress and he's marrying a little tiny guy and they go all the way through. If you watch the commercials, there's a storyline developing and it's love. They met with hiv.

[Big Rob]

Shut up. Is love.

[John Holmberg]

It's love. It's hiv.

[Big Rob]

Cuz they can't give it to. They got it already.

[John Holmberg]

Can't catch it twice.

[Big Rob]

Can't catch it twice. So once can block it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. And now they got stuff that makes it so it doesn't get worse, does it?

[Big Rob]

Doesn't get worse.

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Big Rob]

If somebody dies from HIV now, you know, they don't have medical insurance, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, like because that's like dying from a cold.

[Big Rob]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

At this point. Yeah. We kind of cured AIDS and nobody talks about it.

[Big Rob]

Well, cured aids, we cured Covid, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's all gone. And nobody celebrates it by talks about.

[Big Rob]

You thought of vaccine. So still.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But the AIDS cure, you think now that we got commercials saying if you got hiv, it's cool, we can dance, we can dance parties, screw each other. Don't be sad anymore.

[Big Rob]

Don't be sad.

[John Holmberg]

And we didn't as a nation. We never celebrated the. We cured it.

[Big Rob]

It's pills and vaccines. That's the big money.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we did.

[Big Rob]

We did celebrate it. They gave. They gave gay people June. They gave Pride month starting Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple.

[Big Rob]

Brett.

[Byron]

MMP Gu is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it sounds like M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpguns.com.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug hopkins.com TV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years. And he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online. Doughns.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins singers. It's John Holmberg here. Seeing clear as a bell. Thanks to my friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Good vision. It's imperative all the pro ball players in Town Trust Dr. Jay Schwartz. And so do I. My experience. I went from seeing 2400 back to close to 2020 after my complimentary consultation with Dr. Schwartz. He put a plan together and got me seeing beautifully, clearly and vividly. You can do it too. Get rid of those glasses or contacts and get your consultation with Dr. Schwartz now. Go to schwartzlaser.com or call 480-483-Eyes. Suns and Diamondbacks. Trust them. So should you go with the pros? Go. Schwartz Laser Eye Center. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Big Rob]

This is nothing but guys in. In wife beaters. You know, you've never seen so many rainbow flags. Rainbow flags are the worst. I used to love rainbows. I won't. I won't play.

[John Holmberg]

You don't like them anymore.

[Big Rob]

It's like a gay code.

[John Holmberg]

Like you can't have it any. They took the rainbow.

[Big Rob]

Guys can wear more than two colors. You wear three colors. It's. It's some gay gang stuff. Oh, blue, yellow, red. Oh, he takes it in the. He takes it behind on Thursdays.

[John Holmberg]

Too many colors.

[Big Rob]

Too many col.

[John Holmberg]

Flashing gang signs.

[Big Rob]

Got to be careful. He likes. He likes a threesome.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. South side. So to speak. Big. We can't call you Big Rob anymore. No, you call you Rob.

[Big Rob]

It's gonna be. It's gonna. Midlife crisis, Rob.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Midlife crisis, Rob. What's going on in your life? That makes. Like, what is. Where's the light at the end of your tunnel? The light would be because you are you. Are you in a. You're in a pickle. Right. You're in a mess.

[Big Rob]

I'm in a. I'm in. It's not a mess. It's all handled now. You know, I went through a business mess. I had a company try to do a hostile takeover, so. Almost put my business out of business.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Big Rob]

Yes. I had to survive that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

I got some. Some great employees and partners.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

So now my. My business is. Part of it is in the merger. Then we. We've expanded. I got a furniture company.

[John Holmberg]

So you're moving.

[Big Rob]

Can I promote the front? Sure. If you guys go to totalaz. Dot com. T O-T-A-L-E dot com. We have a wholesale. So I buy from manufacturer Beautiful. And I mean, we can get you whatever you want. I mean, the tariffs don't affect us.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Big Rob]

About the Chinese, and you don't even.

[John Holmberg]

Deal with the Chinese. You know, no Chinese people have ever set foot in Total Az Dog.

[Big Rob]

No, no, no. We have a warehouse in Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Big Rob]

Go to the website. You'll see what we, you know, some of the things we have for sale. It's residential and resident. No. Well, we have some used office, but mostly it's all residential patio.

[John Holmberg]

But in the meantime, mattresses stand up going the whole time.

[Big Rob]

So I'm on tour. I've been on tour and then house in Hawaii. I have my house in Hawaii.

[John Holmberg]

That's for now, getaway.

[Big Rob]

That's why I gave up. That's why I. I sell my, you know, sell my tickets to the Sun's games.

[John Holmberg]

It's because you don't.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, because I'm in Hawaii whenever I'm not on tour.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Is that stay in yours? What, the house?

[Big Rob]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's shared right now.

[John Holmberg]

This is uncomfortable. Every time I ask you rub your heart. I don't like that. Every time I ask you a question, you don't like, your hand rubs.

[Big Rob]

You know, I can only tell you guys, be grateful that you don't go through.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so don't, don't, don't.

[Big Rob]

But it's good. No, the house in Hawaii. I was just there. Yeah. Back to the HIV commercial.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, let's get back to something happy. Let's talk about HIV some more. I like that when I'd hit a nerve, you just. You literally rubbed your heart like they were like, you need to defibrillator to take over.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, no, no, the tour. The tour is great. I mean, I didn't ask anything about Dallas. Eight shows sold out in Dallas this weekend. We'll sell out. We're in.

[John Holmberg]

Does Gary have any advice for what you're going through? Because he went through a big thing. What's his advice?

[Big Rob]

He doesn't.

[John Holmberg]

He does.

[Big Rob]

He really doesn't have any advice. He just. We just kind of look at each other like two sad guys.

[John Holmberg]

You're up, dude.

[Big Rob]

But he's good. But he. He started his new life already because he just had twins.

[John Holmberg]

He did?

[Big Rob]

Twin boys.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know that.

[Big Rob]

He'll talk about it on stage. You guys come out tonight, okay? You hear a little bit about his life. Now she has twin boys. They're great.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Big Rob]

Royal in Rome. They're, they're funny. So, yeah, he lets you guys know about that. So that's, that's the big thing in his life.

[John Holmberg]

It's a couple of just sad middle aged dudes starting over.

[Big Rob]

Starting over. But I listen, I live a great life. I have some great friends.

[John Holmberg]

This is what people who kill themselves say right before they do, really.

[Big Rob]

I, I, you know, I had some things going on. Sibling. But listen, I have one daughter got married. The other one's getting married in a couple of months. I'm expecting another grandchild.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Big Rob]

Any day now. All right, so you guys are good?

[John Holmberg]

Everything's fine. You're just going through. You got a little bumpy road.

[Big Rob]

Bumpy road.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Big Rob]

Everything's great.

[John Holmberg]

You've lost all that weight.

[Big Rob]

I lost all the way. So maybe I, you know, I'm funny, but in a different type of fun. You're on that taco enchilada funny, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You're no longer, yeah. Hitting us with that more.

[Big Rob]

I'm more like I said, middle aged. Talk about retarded stuff, you know? Can we say retarded? Is that a one of the words?

[John Holmberg]

Are you talking about?

[Big Rob]

Actually, no, no, not like, like the stuff we do.

[John Holmberg]

You're not like making fun of retarded people?

[Big Rob]

Going to Starbucks.

[John Holmberg]

That's after 35.

[Big Rob]

Going to Starbucks is. If you don't know Starbucks lingo, they look at you like you're retarded. It right. I'm like, yo, let me get a coffee. They're like, what's a coffee? Point to the sign. Nothing in the sign says coffee. You don't know frappuccino.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Big Rob]

You know La Pacino. I'm like, I just want a coffee. My dude, he goes, I'm not your dude. I'm like, what are you? He goes, I'm your barista. Like, you make 13 an hour, you retarded barista. What are you talking about? What kind of milk do you want? What kind of milk do you have? Oat milk? Goat milk? I said, what about breast milk? You guys got baby milk? I just want freaking milk in my freaking coffee. That's retarded. That's, that's that.

[John Holmberg]

It's true.

[Big Rob]

That goes on now.

[John Holmberg]

All right. What happened to your finger? I'm supposed to ask you that too.

[Big Rob]

Oh, my.

[John Holmberg]

I just saw it again. You have a thumb that's turned into a lizard. Oh, yeah? What happened to it? It's your smash it.

[Big Rob]

I played lacrosse. You know, I played lacrosse in college too, but I played lacrosse in high school. We were walking. We had to carry our own equipment off the field.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

And I was walking down the stairs carrying equipment and I slipped and it smashed the tip of my finger.

[John Holmberg]

And it is smashed into a cartoonish, like, joke thumb. When Fred Flintstone hurt himself, that would happen.

[Big Rob]

Well, you do it. How do I do it?

[John Holmberg]

Where's your nail?

[Big Rob]

No, there's no nail. So that's what. So you go like this.

[John Holmberg]

You're actually going to pull it off.

[Big Rob]

Then you go like this.

[John Holmberg]

You know that's right.

[Big Rob]

I learned when I was 15. Had a little jagged nail. So it. It. We just cut it off because it wouldn't grow back.

[John Holmberg]

It's just mushed.

[Big Rob]

And then that's. That's a piece of my behind.

[John Holmberg]

That's a piece of your ass. To cover that up.

[Big Rob]

I just scratched.

[John Holmberg]

So they took a chunk of your ass skin and put it on your thumb.

[Big Rob]

Put it on the thumb.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Big Rob]

And then it just stayed fat.

[John Holmberg]

It's huge.

[Big Rob]

Looks like it's a little stubby.

[John Holmberg]

And you have used it for pleasure. Oh, it's a.

[Big Rob]

It's a little.

[John Holmberg]

It's in the. Yeah, it's the back door one, too. Well, yeah, it's like a little light bulb.

[Big Rob]

The back door. The back doors.

[John Holmberg]

You stay away from that.

[Big Rob]

I stay away from the back door.

[John Holmberg]

How come?

[Big Rob]

Because I know what comes out the back.

[John Holmberg]

Not all the time.

[Big Rob]

And it's not. No matter who you with.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's how they use it.

[Big Rob]

I don't care how pretty she is.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she poops.

[Big Rob]

Yeah. Stuff comes out the back door.

[John Holmberg]

You don't trust her to clean that up.

[Big Rob]

What?

[John Holmberg]

How much stuff comes out?

[Big Rob]

Clean it up.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, stuff comes out the front door.

[Big Rob]

Yeah. It's like having artificial grass and your dog goes on it. You can spray it, but it still smells like this, you know, like. All right.

[John Holmberg]

I guess you can look at it that way because I think the stuff that comes out the front's just as bad.

[Big Rob]

You could deal with that. Yeah, that's the same time I could deal with the front. I'm. Man, that's.

[John Holmberg]

That doesn't bother you?

[Big Rob]

That doesn't bother you?

[John Holmberg]

Some will go right in there.

[Big Rob]

Don't go in there. I mean, it won't be nothing like a toothpick in there, but.

[John Holmberg]

Rob a Big Rob. I'm gonna keep calling that. Big Rob is opening Gary Owen, Big Rob this weekend. Stand up live if you Want to go standuplive.com Leave us with words of wisdom. Sir. Tell the world how to be better.

[Big Rob]

You know what? What I'll tell you is as crazy as everything in politics. Comedians don't touch on politics.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

But the thing that never changes. Right. Government changes. Health. You know, like, being healthy lost a lot of people. I see a lot of people that I'm with. They're here today, gone tomorrow.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

So that. That was probably my biggest driving.

[John Holmberg]

You started getting a little scared that you were going to be a cautionary tale.

[Big Rob]

You know, I lost both my parents in their 50s.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Big Rob]

Yeah. You know, Doug. Doug had the pleasure of knowing my mom when she was alive. And I think. Yeah, he met my dad. My dad died of hypertension in his 50s.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Big Rob]

Died of lung cancer. You know, she was a heavy smoker. And it was one of those things like, I want to outlive, you know, then I. The people that I see that outlive their lives.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

People that just take better care of themselves.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Big Rob]

You know, so that's basically. You know what? And then. You know what.

[John Holmberg]

Why do you keep looking at Brady? Stop looking at Brady. Just talk to all of us.

[Big Rob]

Brady looks good. You crazy. I'm.

[John Holmberg]

I'm. God, his eyes are gone, too.

[Big Rob]

He's got perfect vision.

[John Holmberg]

My God, the man is blind, too. He's lost it all. This medicine is killing yourself.

[Big Rob]

The mental health of it is perfect.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

Like, that's the comedy part. I'm. I'm funny as. I'm funny as crap. You know, you come out because you.

[John Holmberg]

Can'T say, I know what you. I know what you're gonna say. Yeah.

[Big Rob]

I'm saying, if you come out, people that come to see me, it's great because I. Like I said. I told you guys. They put it. I. I actually saw. I'm signing now to shoot my new comedy special this fall.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Big Rob]

Because they put the last one on hold because they didn't like some of the things we talked about, and I wouldn't agree to cut it. Yeah, cut it out. So I told them that was retarded.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's what they were talking about.

[Big Rob]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They said.

[Big Rob]

Because they didn't want the word retard. I said the retarded part is that you paid me half the money up front. Never played a minority up front. Yeah. Painting that. The handscape, the landscape, money up front. He's not coming back to cut your grass.

[John Holmberg]

He's not doing the second.

[Big Rob]

That's why they pay us as comedians at the end of the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Your.

[Big Rob]

Jokes ain't that funny. I'm funnier when I gotta wait for my check on Sunday night.

[John Holmberg]

It's good to see you again. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad you're. You found it. Like, you look. It's a different person. I'm looking at a different person.

[Big Rob]

Listen, don't be gay. I'm fine.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't say you were good looking.

[Big Rob]

I'm saying. You gotta say that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm worried about you.

[Big Rob]

You cannot say I don't look. I look great.

[John Holmberg]

Are you done losing?

[Big Rob]

I. I might try to lose another 5 to 10, but just for muscle tone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

Because I'm like, I said, I go. That's retarded. Going to the gym?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

You ever been to the gym?

[John Holmberg]

Don't look at Brady and ask that.

[Big Rob]

No, I'm just saying I go to the gym now and then I dress. You know, I'm a dresser. Like, you guys are looking to see what. What am I wearing? Yeah, I do that. That's the worst thing you can do at the gym. That's how you find out where the gay guys are. They're like, oh, my gosh, she has red sneakers. It matches. Red shorts. Look at his toned body. I'm like, I don't want to be that guy. You see the people that see women walking around with Lululemon. They should be wearing watermelon. So I just want to, you know, I just want to work out and.

[John Holmberg]

Have a good time and just be.

[Big Rob]

Healthy and be healthy and keep it and be funny.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Big Rob]

Of course.

[John Holmberg]

And we'll see you again.

[Big Rob]

Absolutely. You guys gonna come out or no? You guys always say that. You complain you don't come out.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't leave.

[Big Rob]

Tony's coming out. Tony Casanova's. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Radio goes, Tony's going.

[Big Rob]

Yeah. Tony's going.

[John Holmberg]

That's how I got food. Yeah, yeah.

[Big Rob]

Tony Casanova's gone. But you never come. You never come.

[John Holmberg]

I got a lot of my plate.

[Big Rob]

You always do. That's an excuse.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't have more on your.

[Big Rob]

Plate than I have.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the thing. Like, going to comedy clubs used to be like, a blast for me. But I find that if I see it too much, it starts to leak out here. You don't remember.

[Big Rob]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You know that four and a half.

[John Holmberg]

Hours a day of trying to come up with original stuff.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

When you're dry, you'll steal.

[Big Rob]

So what? Who's a funny? Who's a favorite comedian?

[John Holmberg]

Yours. Me. Like, all time.

[Big Rob]

Like, your favorite ones that, you know that you Would go see currently.

[John Holmberg]

Jeez.

[Big Rob]

There's a type of comedy.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I mean, like, if Bill Burr was here, I'd go to that. Like Bill's.

[Big Rob]

That's easy.

[John Holmberg]

That's low heavy. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, it's like there's a bunch of them. I actually. I like most comics.

[Big Rob]

And you like podcasts probably more.

[John Holmberg]

I don't listen to podcasts. Again, steal too long because.

[Big Rob]

And then you're. You're here all day. You're. You're Your own podcast.

[John Holmberg]

I have to have my own original thoughts, and if I start listening to someone else, it can influence that. I found that.

[Big Rob]

You know what? It's a big. You know, it's a. That's a big deal with comedians.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

Comedians, they might not steal the joke, but they'll steal the topic.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they don't. And sometimes you don't know you're doing it.

[Big Rob]

I don't. I don't. There's very few that I go see.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Big Rob]

I don't even watch Gary's routine when I'm on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I used to like Gary a lot, and I do when I see him, but I can't. Look, if I went there and absorbed it all, if I started to do that, I think my. My, My thought process would be interrupted.

[Big Rob]

All right, so that's.

[John Holmberg]

That's the reason I.

[Big Rob]

So when I shoot. If I shoot my special in Phoenix, that's what we're looking at. Location. Now I'm looking at Hawaii. But, man, don't do it different.

[John Holmberg]

Do it here.

[Big Rob]

Yeah, I do it here because it's. It's everybody here. Hawaii, they're. The Hawaiians aren't that healthy. One thing I find when I go to Hawaii is, is they eat a lot of pork and fish, but bam. Yeah, they're like. They're like natives. Here in Arizona, you don't see little natives. No Pocahontas, you know, they all look like middle linebackers.

[John Holmberg]

It's good to see you. We're gonna get kicked.

[Big Rob]

Love you guys. Yeah, I got you. Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

I'm here, everybody. It's not Come out this weekend. Make sure guys come out standuplive.com Arizona's most powerful rock media station. He said fully erect. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time once again for this week's pick of the litter, brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters. Go to Turf Monsters AZ.com they help us out at Lost, our home pet rescue. We appreciate them greatly. This week's Peck of the litter is a project. It's Jets. He's a special project for that special someone. Jep is one of my projects. Let's get him a forever home. They'll waive the fees right now. This week. Pick of the litter. It's Jep. Check it out. Lost our home.org 98kupd.com from Monument Valley.

[John Holmer]

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[John Holmberg]

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