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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo from Homework's Morning Sickness for Game Day Men's Health I did my free consultation with Game Day back in November because I was experiencing a lack of energy and focus. Now, nearly six months later, I'm feeling like my old old self again. Go to gameday phoenix.com today and book a free consultation in a matter of minutes at GameDay's in house lab. A licensed Game Day clinician will draw your blood, run some tests and formulate a plan to incorporate any number of these therap fees to help you get back in the game. You can battle the clock of aging and it starts today at one of the 11 game day men's Health locations in the valley@gameday phoenix.com Come on down.
Brady
To the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal. Pork Chila verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.
Unknown Speaker
Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving Southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road.
Larry McFeely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. And Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?
Wayne
No, Larry, if you have an extended service contract, you can use it at any amco.
Larry McFeely
It's nice to have other options.
Wayne
I'll say Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles and faster service.
Larry McFeely
Amco does more than just transmissions, right?
Wayne
Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell, or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first.
Larry McFeely
Just Google Amco for your nearest loc. That's Amco Double A, MCO transmissions and.
Unknown Speaker
A whole lot more.
Brady
Still streaming. Homberg's morning sickness online@98kupd.com wow, Brady, 15 seconds before we go on here, you hit me with that one. Just give us that little fun fact once again. That was fun. Brady's given us little treats before. We'll keep it as a fun fact.
Unknown Speaker
Okay?
Brady
We'll get it from Just hit us with that right before and all I could think about was a bloodletting and just a complete slaughter. The bravery of the very first person to try that. Anyway, coming up at 8 o' clock we got the man cave upgrade. We'll give you that word you can text in try to qualify for our man cave upgrade from our great friends over there at Prestige Billiards. Man, we've got some good stuff. All the things for your man caver. It's, it's an insane package that's so much the pool table, the ping pong table. You get the smoker, you get the air hockey table. What am I missing there? And then you go over to the.
Unknown Speaker
Driveway or the garage.
Brady
Yeah, you get the garage. Floor wise coating gives you a new coating for your garage. Twin Peaks giving you a couple hundred dollars of gift cards, games day, men's game day, men's health, giving you a thousand dollars worth of their stuff. It's amazing. It's amazing what they've got. And it's. And of course Prestige Billiards is the, you know, the originator of this entire operation. We got with the meathead a few years ago and handed these days just growing and growing and growing. Qualifiers today, get $50 gift cards to Von Hansen's Meat and Spirits and get yourself some tickets to breaking Benjamin. But you got to qualify and be drawn today. And we'll give you the word in about 10, 12 minutes. You'll be handed a word. You can text it in. Yesterday's shillelagh was a tough one. We'll make it easier for you Friday, move you right into the rest of your day. So pay attention and maybe today's the day you qualify and get into the potent the semifinals. Quarter five. Semifinals. Good luck. It's time for the Brady Report that is brought to you by our friends at all Pro Shade Concepts. The shade is a necessity. Put it over that area in your back patio. That's not getting enough. If you've got a back patio that's got some shade and you want to extend that back patio without doing a ton of buildings, all pro shade is the one to do it for you. Make your patio even bigger. That's what you did. You basically extended your patio life, right? Did, yeah, it's pretty cool. Bray's got it at his house and he also blocks well one side of his patio so his TV doesn't have glare and his neighbor can no longer gawk at him while he's in his hot tub, which I'm sure Brady was Very concerned about Laser doing. But just in case Laser got. Oh, you know, Laser's wife was the one you're really worried about with the wild eye for you.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, she. She always. It's checking me out.
Brady
It keeps away the peepers, the paparazzi that follows Brady all over. You can be just like Brady and rest comfortably knowing that Laser's wife is not eyeballing you from over a fence like Ziggy. You have privacy. You have shade. It drops 20 degrees. They say it can drop the temperature in your backyard area or front yard if you want to go out there. All pro shade dot com. Thank you. Brady reported.
Unknown Speaker
Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it. Happy international hug your cat day.
Brady
All right. I will grab your. Give it a squeeze.
Unknown Speaker
A couple of baseless fun facts. I'll open up with one. You were just told Christine Jorgensen.
Brady
Good stuff.
Unknown Speaker
Would have been 99 today. 99 years old.
Brady
99 years old. This woman that's a hundred years. Almost ready. She didn't make it.
Unknown Speaker
Born in 1926, she was George Jorgensen before undergoing the first ever sex change operation in the US 1952.
Brady
She was the first one. I believe Eisenhower was president trailblazer.
Unknown Speaker
That woman, 26 years old at the time.
Brady
That dude agreed to be the first person they tried to carve a vagina into.
Unknown Speaker
Chop it.
Brady
I want this off. I'm like, who did he talk to first at the doctor's office? I got something going on in my mind. I think you're gonna just hear me out. I'm a doctor. I've heard just about everything. I want to cut this off. I want you to carve in a vagina. I'm sorry, what?
Unknown Speaker
Jesus Christ.
Brady
Jesus Christ. I thought this. What are you from a Tolkien book? Get away from me.
Unknown Speaker
And did I wonder if at the time he had to go through some stuff to allow the doctor to be able to do that by, you know, in the US you had.
Brady
Yeah. I wonder if it was in the US Was it?
Unknown Speaker
It was in the U. S. First ever in the U. S. 1950.
Brady
So they had done a few of them probably over in France where things were weird.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah.
Brady
And then they just brought that technology to us. But even still, you think about first. The first time you do anything is a little scary. Like even me building this furniture at this house. The first one takes 30 minutes. And then if I've got, like, the chairs, I had to. Next three were like, well, I've done this now. There's no longer. I don't even need the instructions. I get it. The first time is brutal.
Unknown Speaker
It's just a giant scar.
Brady
As the doctor, I'd just be shaking. Yeah. Oh, it. It had to be cartilage. Like you look at it the first day. It's a little long, isn't it, Doc? Well, you know, I've never done it before. Yeah, I guess that's where the phrase measure twice, cut once comes from. Yeah. How long are these supposed to be? This. I shouldn't have gone. There's 11 inches long. I overdid this.
Unknown Speaker
It's like a ball glove.
Brady
I think you started cutting too close to the belly button, sir. Yeah, that's a big one. I don't know what we've done here, but you know what? Nobody's gonna bang this lady anyway. She's disgusting.
Unknown Speaker
According the FBI, the number of bank.
Brady
Robberies, the balls, the blood. So much they didn't know what was going to happen when he started hacking that off. I wonder if they practiced on cadavers.
Unknown Speaker
And just knowing how many cc's they can put in there for the.
Brady
For cans.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah.
Brady
Did they do that then? I don't think they did that yet. I think they just hormoned you up and you grew your own. I think that was. Yeah, I'm pretty sure back in the 50s, that was pre stacking, but that's. Yeah. And then you. Oh. Oh, so much blood. So much blood. And that. Just. What did it look like I want? And again, like in. As a cadaver. Brady. The way you believe. There you are, looking down on your body. I lived a pretty good life.
Unknown Speaker
Body's a temple.
Brady
There it is my mortal coil as it lays still and throws of death. Who's that guy? What's he doing to my legs?
Unknown Speaker
Wait.
Brady
Hey, hey. That's fine. You just look down because that's what all you religious people think you do. You go to heaven. You just keep watching like we're a TV show. Can people from. Can you talk to people at your next meeting? Guys, we got to stop assuming that grandma and grandpa don't have anything else to do. If heaven's so great, why are they still watching this? You'd think they have fun rides up there, that they would be preoccupied with time. They're not watching your grandkids throw touchdowns, and they're just not doing it.
Unknown Speaker
I would just like it to say, hey, I. I don't want you looking down right now.
Brady
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker
Can you take a little time off.
Brady
Like I always say? Like I always say to all the people. To all the People that try to think, well, grandpa's looking down at me. Do you think he knows when you're gonna do good things? Sometimes he let's take a peep in on Toledo and see what. Oh, Jesus. He's waffle stomping his into the drain.
Unknown Speaker
I'm so proud of you.
Brady
Oh, crow. He crapped in the shower. Oh, God, get your thumb out of your ass. Why is he wearing a kaiser helmet?
Dick Toledo
And if that were true and I'm in the shower, I'd be like, sorry, gramps.
Brady
Yeah, you should apologize to your grandfather every time. Seen that you heal in a turd and waffle stomp it into the drain. I don't do it, but I've heard about this. And it dawned on me the day I heard somebody go, sometimes you crap in the shower.
Dick Toledo
Wasn't it Brady's buddy?
Brady
Didn't.
Dick Toledo
Didn't he do it?
Brady
First time I ever heard was on the Zone when I was on the radio station and I was sitting in with the night guy for a little bit and some dude called him and said. Because he said, what's the weirdest thing you do every day? Back when radio was like, well, it still is over. Case lecture. You're like, here's today's topic. What's the weirdest thing you do in the shower? And some guy called him sometimes I. I'm like, what do you do with it? You waffle stomp it through the drain. Oh, what? And then. And then other people called like, yeah, you don't. No, it's a debate whether or not I'm gonna pee in the shower. Now I lose that debate a lot of the times because the water makes me have to go. People got. No. Yeah, that's disgusting.
Unknown Speaker
That walked in on her husband evidently, and he wasn't waffle stop again.
Brady
He was letting it float.
Unknown Speaker
He dump it in the shower and then toss it in the toilet from the shower.
Brett Vesely
He just pick it up and throw it in there.
Unknown Speaker
Pick it up.
Brady
Or something.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah.
Brady
He'S doing Kareem Skyhook into the can.
Unknown Speaker
I still question that. She just found him basically heaving putting over there.
Brady
And I'm literally about to go, why.
Brett Vesely
Didn'T she get divorced?
Brady
Why do you still. Yes, they did. And why do you still talk to that guy?
Unknown Speaker
I know that the guy.
Brady
Okay, thank God.
Unknown Speaker
Okay, that knew this. She knew the.
Brady
The girl she walked in on married and he pooped in the shower.
Unknown Speaker
And he was newlyweds. She never knew this.
Brady
But he hand shoveled into the toilet.
Unknown Speaker
That was his room, was It a.
Brady
Nice shower glass or was it the curtain and the toilets right next to the shower. Hopefully he reach over.
Unknown Speaker
He could reach. There's no like be able to itching. Yeah, because I'm picturing.
Dick Toledo
The dream over the shower rod.
Unknown Speaker
No, we told it as a sky hook back in the day. Like there's no way. Because you. You wouldn't have enough time.
Brady
Why not lock the door?
Brett Vesely
Just kill yourself. You got no class.
Brady
Do that later.
Brett Vesely
No beforehand.
Brady
It's not that one day you thought.
Unknown Speaker
You locked the door.
Brady
No, you didn't. You're dumping in the shower. So every time you're in there, you know, double at Fort Knox that bathroom make pull the door. Double check. I'm going to take a huge in the shower. I share with somebody. Oh.
Unknown Speaker
The first African American to win an Oscar for something other than acting was the 1971.
Brady
Isaac Hayes music. And by the way, going back to my original point, if you are pitching your turds into a toilet from a shower at the end, have the decency to point off and go, grandpa's looking down on me. At least do it in bad times too. Like, I hate when athletes point to the sky. Have a decency to kill yourself looking down at me. Oh, and then there's that. And then go look down on us from heaven because you're awful. But yeah, I don't like the oh, he's look. They're looking down on us. No, they're not. There's fun ride. Like, if I picture you're having fun rides and buffets and you never get fat and you're always happy and. And you run. Why would I look back down and see what Brady's doing? Baboo and Popple Chick are so disappointed. 90% of the time they turn it on the Brady Channel. Not doing much of anything good.
Unknown Speaker
No way.
Brady
They're Brady, tell me what you did yesterday that you'd be proud of your grandparents for seeing.
Unknown Speaker
A couple episodes.
Brady
Before you say the big achievement, think of the things that they probably saw. Oh, man.
Unknown Speaker
Unbelievable.
Brady
Like the time you reach down and you're like, is that blood? Oh, my God.
Unknown Speaker
That didn't happen.
Brady
I'm wiping too hard. Grandpa saw it. Popple chick was looking. Stop saying they're looking down on you. Cause if they know when you're doing good stuff, they don't need to look.
Dick Toledo
Cause that's next.
Unknown Speaker
I don't think I see a replay.
Dick Toledo
Of Big Ben pointing to the sky. That's all I think about. Him, his grandpa watching that bar.
Brady
Yeah. Oh, yeah. When he's getting blown. While Max Stark stood outside the door and guarded for. Yeah, right. I used to hate when Big Ben would point to the sky. He had a shirt on that night with a devil on it.
Unknown Speaker
That's right.
Brady
Yeah. The pictures of him drunk with this. But picture of Satan's head on shirt and I'm fine with that. But don't two days later throw a touchdown and go, thanks Jesus. I know you were watching me. No, he wasn't. Nobody's watching you from the nobody's you. And then, I mean, you think that God's like, yeah. Pointing back down. You got it. He's not nobody's watch. Grandma and Grandpa aren't watching you from the clouds. Morning sickness.
Unknown Speaker
All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the Improv. You've got Randy Feldface performing. Just Google it. And you're gonna have to go see for yourself on that one. And downtown at Stand up, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you all this week. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge, improv.com and tempeimprov.com it's stick to little for FanDuel.
Dick Toledo
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Brett Vesely
It's Brett Vesley from Holmberg's Morning Sickness and I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now, Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all look. When it comes to H Vac, plumbing or electrical issues, their certified professional technicians deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate. Right now, Patrick Riley is a special for you guys. 1500 doll new AC system install plus up to 1100 dollars in additional rebates they offer same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out online at patrickridleyservices.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Unknown Speaker
The reason Hitler shaved his mustache down to a square. Because he had trouble fitting regular mustache into a gas mask.
Brady
That's the reason firefighters can't have. They've got those crazy mustaches. Not Hitler ones, but the handlebars.
Dick Toledo
The handlebars. Because the seal goes over that.
Brady
It's kind of neat.
Unknown Speaker
Now they got this full face.
Brady
Yeah, they just go over the full gauge.
Unknown Speaker
So you can.
Brady
But they still can't grow beards. You know, that's why presidents can't have beards. It's because of which is JD Vance's thing. He's got a beard. So I don't know if they have a plan for him.
Brett Vesely
Was Steinbrenner running things or what?
Brady
No sideburns, no beards. Just in case there's a gas attack at Yankee Stadium.
Unknown Speaker
Earlier this morning, we talked about the Scripps National Spelling Bee champ, Faison. Here are America's 10 most misspelled words. Definitely separate, necessary, believe through gorgeous.
Dick Toledo
Neighborhood Fast food is the problem.
Brady
For through T H T. Well, there's T, H R E W. Right? There's O U, G H. Right?
Unknown Speaker
That's the one.
Brady
There's the U match.
Dick Toledo
Because everybody just goes through.
Unknown Speaker
Neighbor, business favorite and restaurant.
Brady
Restaurant throws people. Huh? Because there's a U in it.
Unknown Speaker
Now this is also the most challenging word for each state.
Brady
What's Arizona's people? All right, that's today's word for what? That's it.
Unknown Speaker
That's it.
Brady
People. Because AJ Screwing that up. P E E, P E L. Sad.
Dick Toledo
Thing is, you're not wrong.
Unknown Speaker
Illinois is. Congratulations.
Brady
Wow.
Unknown Speaker
Indiana taught.
Brady
Oh, T A U, G h, t. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker
Montana.
Brady
Hold on. People is today's word text. 97936 for the man cave upgrade. You can qualify by spelling the most misspelled word in Arizona. People. According to the script, Howard, spelling be people. People is the worst word. Arizonans in Ohio, crochet. There's a lot of old people there. C R O C H E T. I'm basically in India.
Unknown Speaker
According to a study published by the American Medical association, kids breakfast cereals have gotten even less healthy over the past 15 years. They looked at the newly launched cereals between 2010 and 2023 and found an increase of total fat per serving of 33%. Sodium content increased 32% and sugar almost 11%. In fact, the average amount of added sugar is so high that a Single serving of children's cereal is more than 45% of the American Heart Association's total daily recommended limit for children. They get 45% in that one. In one hour.
Brady
First hour. Your kids are fat. I've seen your kids. They all got fat. It's your fault. Parents.
Unknown Speaker
So the old school serials, this is all new cereals that launched 2010 between.
Brady
What new ones have come out since 2010?
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, that's what I. Yeah, they had a list. And that's what I was wondering too. They didn't show a list of serials, but they said they considered 1200 children's cereals that were newly launched in that time frame.
Brady
Wow. There hasn't been any there's ever to dig them smacks. They have the sugar pops. What? All of them are the same ones that when I was a kid. I haven't seen new cereal.
Unknown Speaker
I'm trying to think of one that would be.
Brady
There aren't any. I went down the cereal aisle the other day. Golden Grahams, Honey Grams. They're all there. All of them are the same ones. Sugar Pops, Life. Cinnamon Life.
Brett Vesely
Toast Crunch.
Brady
Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Dick Toledo
According to Gemini. Marshmallow, Fruity Pebbles. Marshmallow Cocoa Pebbles. Magic Fruity Pebbles. Fruity Pebbles where the milk turns blue when added.
Brett Vesely
So it's like the Fast and Furious. They just keep making worse versions of the original.
Brady
So I didn't look at like that. I just saw Fruity Pebbles. I just assumed they'd been there the whole time.
Dick Toledo
Kellogg's Pops mix it Mix and match concept for ready to eat cereals. It doesn't say.
Brady
I don't even know what that is. I've seen the one where they just threw them all in a box. Yep.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, the just combined them.
Brady
Oops. All berries checks mix.
Unknown Speaker
Sunday is National Dinosaur Day. So someone pulled over 5,000Americans and asked, would you go to a real life Jurassic Park?
Brady
No.
Unknown Speaker
29% said yes. Definitely. 50 said no way.
Brady
Well, if the movies are right.
Unknown Speaker
Said I think about it.
Brady
If the movies are right, it's coming to you. Eventually we're gonna have they get loose.
Unknown Speaker
2026. Our first woolly mammoth.
Brady
Yeah, I know. I don't like this at all.
Dick Toledo
You're counting down.
Brady
Oh, Brady would be like riding it, feeding it pumpkins.
Unknown Speaker
I think, you know, if it was just you're hiking around, you know, you're not in a safari vehicle or something like that.
Brady
You do that.
Unknown Speaker
No, I wouldn't. I'd want to be.
Brady
You think the safari vehicle is going to save you?
Unknown Speaker
You got a Better chance of getting away.
Brady
No, you don't. They take that thing and pitch it.
Unknown Speaker
I'm not going in. In the safari vehicle to see T. Rex.
Brady
What are you gonna see?
Unknown Speaker
Brontosaurus.
Brady
It's gonna stop it.
Unknown Speaker
The source. No, it won't.
Dick Toledo
It's gonna swing around.
Brady
Why would a brontosaurus not stop?
Unknown Speaker
It's like a cow, right?
Brady
Why a cow? You're hoping a cow the size of a building. Why would you. I would go.
Unknown Speaker
I'm just telling you.
Brady
I know. You go.
Dick Toledo
Absolutely.
Brady
Quiet down. Dumb. Why would a cow the size of the Empire State Building not accidentally stomp you?
Unknown Speaker
Well, you.
Brady
Why are you safe?
Dick Toledo
Because he's a whisperer.
Unknown Speaker
No, I have grass in my hands to feed it. You know that little snack.
Brady
Pumpkin and grass. Like I put leaves on my suit. In your head climb the trees.
Dick Toledo
Isn't it head the size of a car?
Brady
No, but. Dummy just said I wouldn't walk around, but I'd get in a Jeep. Why? That's the stupidest thing you've ever said.
Unknown Speaker
I can get out of the way of a brontosaurus.
Brady
You would not. You are a brontosaurus. You're not getting out of the way. It would be an even fight. You're not exactly fleet of foot.
Unknown Speaker
I'm not fighting a brontosaurus.
Brady
It's like trying to move from a moving redwood.
Unknown Speaker
I'm far enough away. I'm not gonna go pet the brontosaurus.
Brady
Nobody said you would. But if a brontosaurus, you're also not in control of where it is. So you're on the road in a.
Unknown Speaker
Tree, you know, just like in Jurassic park, and it sneezes on me.
Brady
How many times have I warned him over the years, like, brady, this is for you. Don't touch the wildlife. If they had a Jurassic park, you'd be the first dead guy. You'd be the Christine Jorgensen of that.
Unknown Speaker
I'd have to see the setup. How's it going through the park?
Brady
You'd have to assess. You know, that's a lot of arrogance right there. I'd have to take a look at the escape routes. You're done.
Unknown Speaker
Not the escape. Just.
Brady
What do you need to. What do you need to look at it for?
Unknown Speaker
The setup is about maybe, you know, you're overlooking it from, you know, on a. Top of a cliff or something and looking down.
Brady
Right. You wouldn't. And then they have. You would get a platform. You'd get in.
Dick Toledo
You can't. You can't control your urges now.
Brady
Yeah, you would.
Unknown Speaker
I'd Zipline. Right on.
Brady
We talked to you about ziplining. You've had trouble with that in the past.
Dick Toledo
I went to that wildlife park outside Prescott.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
And they have, like, a giraffe there. It sticks its head in the bus that you're in. So if it just goes like this, it's knocking you around.
Brady
The fat lady from Thousand Pound Sisters got bit by a camel or a giraffe or something, head in and bit her on the arm down to the bone, right? Well, no, I don't know. I didn't. I didn't watch the show. And I don't think you can get to her bones.
Dick Toledo
Okay, fair.
Brady
But you can't do this. You're banned from the Jurassic Park.
Unknown Speaker
I came close, but, you know, I fed a male giraffe. Huge. And there's no barrier.
Brady
Okay, well, giraffes aren't exactly meaty machines.
Unknown Speaker
That was a big animal. But you did think about it. Like, I could swing around.
Brady
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker
But luckily, I had snacks for it.
Brett Vesely
Thank God.
Brady
That's the.
Dick Toledo
That's the peace offering.
Brady
If Brady hadn't. If you were ever to write Brady's autobiography, it would be called Luckily I Had Snacks.
Dick Toledo
That is perfect. We need to write that parody song.
Brady
Luckily I Had Snacks is Brady's. That's it. Because it saves the day. Thank God I carried those pumpkins on my belt or that hippo would have had me.
Dick Toledo
Brady, I love you, but you are 1000% petting a brontosaurus.
Brady
100%. You heard him. His first reaction. Well, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it on foot, but if I was in a safari vehicle from a brontosaurus, which legs are bigger than our building, you won't get. So you think you could run away? You couldn't even get from one. You couldn't run from one side of his leg to the other before it stuck. Stomped you. If it's just walking towards you, it's not looking at you, you're an ant.
Unknown Speaker
And if that's my destiny, then.
Brady
Oh, God.
Unknown Speaker
Oh, jeez.
Brady
You brought the Lord again. That's my destiny. What kind of plan does your God have for you if it's getting stomped out by a brontosaurus in 2027?
Unknown Speaker
Be the first.
Brett Vesely
You got a better chance of getting away on foot than you do in a Rubicon.
Brady
Yeah, I think so.
Brett Vesely
Can grab it a lot easier.
Brady
Yeah, the Rubicon's just one big squish, and it's going straight line and you're dumb.
Unknown Speaker
Honk the horn.
Brady
Honk the horn. The Brontosaurus looks down from 30 stories. Oh, squish. Hello there, little friend. Brady's the brave little ant. I could get around him. He's not that big. All right, see ya. Meanwhile, John the ants just shaking his head. Dumbass.
Unknown Speaker
And now it's time for some science news. Hello, my friends. Professor Grady Hogan here with your science news. We still don't know why we can't tickle ourselves. Researchers in the Netherlands are doing a deep dive into it.
Brady
About time.
Unknown Speaker
Fun fact, the scientific term for aggressive tickling.
Brady
Rape.
Unknown Speaker
Gargle.
Brady
I was aggressively tickled, your honor. Oh, no. We have a new word for that.
Unknown Speaker
It's gargalesis.
Brady
I'm just gonna say rape. Mine's better.
Dick Toledo
Think you could use that as a defense, Judge? I was, yes, we were together, but I was just aggressively.
Brady
It was an aggressive tickle that got out of hands.
Brett Vesely
It was gargalesis. What do you want me to do?
Brady
Yeah, in fact, her name is Gargalesis. I mean she was asking for it. You've seen how she was dressed, sir. It was a right for an aggressive tickle.
Unknown Speaker
Two of the most destructive types of termites have started mating in south Florida, creating a sort of super termite.
Brady
Great.
Dick Toledo
Good for Florida.
Brady
Florida needs that. Not like hurricanes are enough to take down your buildings.
Unknown Speaker
A study found hummingbirds have evolved to have thinner, longer beaks. And it's all because of hummingbird feeders. It got popular after World War II, so it took them less than a century to evolve the beast.
Brady
I'll never not laugh at word World Two.
Unknown Speaker
World War II.
Brady
Yeah, you got the world in there. Every time you'd say it the first time it's word war. World War II, damn it. Word war.
Unknown Speaker
Where the SpaceX rocket explode a couple days ago, right? Test flight. Yeah. A couple days ago, astronomers found a perfect sphere in deep space.
Dick Toledo
How do they know?
Brady
What do you mean how do they know?
Unknown Speaker
It's perfect.
Dick Toledo
It's a billion miles away.
Brady
You don't know that. You know any. You're worse than him. You don't know anything about what Maybe it's like right there. Like holy cow, it just jumped up on us. Be careful, man.
Brett Vesely
Here comes another exact space travel talk like yesterday.
Brady
How do they know you have the nerve to question astronomers and Brady and.
Brett Vesely
Wait a minute.
Brady
What I just say, he's got kind of a cocky face, but what he's going to say next is arrogance. There we go.
Unknown Speaker
A study found Uranus looks different than 20 years ago.
Dick Toledo
That look, that was not confidence.
Brady
No, it was the look of I got you guys. All right, move on.
Unknown Speaker
Uranus looks a lot different than it did 20 years ago.
Brett Vesely
What's Izzy doing?
Unknown Speaker
People who study say the structure has changed. It's also gotten paler. The Uranus is bleached.
Brady
Nobody's laughing, nobody's playing along.
Unknown Speaker
Just science. And that's your science news.
Brady
Well, if it's science, you'd be saying uranus. Holmberg's Morning Sickness 28 KUPD It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug hopkins.com, tV's Doug Hopkins. He has built and established his brand and company in a way that just has no competition. Doug's been here for a long time. He set the Standard for over 25 years and he just keeps getting better. And that said, if you want to sell your house for cash to Doug as is, he'll make you that offer. Start the process online, doughins.com or listen to the Doug Hopkins Singers. Call Doug Hopkins 1-800-sale now. It's John Holmer here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Twenty years ago the Core Institute began and it's a better way of caring for people and there are a lot of people, people who are coping with pain in their bodies every day. The Core Institute specializes in helping the pain disappear. And I speak from experience. Here I am now living pain free and enjoying all the things I absolutely love to do. So if you're living in pain, you don't have to anymore. The Core Institute has been here for 20 years and are going to be here for a lot longer than that. And you can stop living with pain and start saying yes to all the things you love to do. Go to the Core Institute.com Fisher Tools.
Unknown Speaker
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Brady
Holmberg's morning sickness.
Unknown Speaker
Can'T do it.
Brady
Can't do it. It's too wacky.
Dick Toledo
John I look forward to Brady Flintstone doing his zip line down the brontosaurus.
Brady
Tail I get in a safari vehicle. He says that'd keep Me from getting stomped out. Yeah, right.
Unknown Speaker
There's a woman named Christine Connell. She's trending after she claimed her ex boyfriend's fart gave her a sinus infection that lasted seven years.
Brady
Was she the same one that said she got is it also got some sort of staph infection in her eye. Well, I saw something about this the other day. It was an ex. Like the dude farted on her and she got really sick from the heart.
Unknown Speaker
That just had surgery on her ankle and was staying in a hotel with her boyfriend. She was in bed and he was naked getting into the bed and he ripped one, she says. So rank she'd never smelled anything like it. She didn't say how long ago they broke up. But shortly after that fart, she developed a sinus infection that stuck with her ever since. Doctors couldn't figure out what was causing it. But she recently had a culture done and the results showed she had E. Coli in her sinuses.
Brady
He didn't fart on her, by the way. That's not a fart.
Unknown Speaker
I. Yeah, he.
Brady
In her notes, that was a.
Unknown Speaker
They were doing some bacteria that's living in her nose. Came from her boyfriend's colon.
Brady
I. She was doing a little anal Angus and got. And maybe.
Unknown Speaker
She said that a follow up video in a follow up video that the antibiotics haven't knocked it out yet. She might need surgery.
Brady
Why go public with this? Keep this quiet lady.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, she.
Brady
Stop it. I'm gonna break up. It's great revenge on an ex, though. If you can manage to somehow get your feces in her nostrils before you leave, that's pretty good. Move aggressively. Tick and then get out of there.
Unknown Speaker
Got a couple of radio videos. Hit the bricks.
Brady
Yep.
Unknown Speaker
The first one you make the call here, this is a guy urinating and.
Brady
He hits a power electrical science music still going.
Unknown Speaker
Real or fake.
Brady
Okay, it seems standing next to a pole, that looks a little suspect. Oh, oh, the pole is live.
Unknown Speaker
That's fake. He keeps peeing.
Brady
That looks pretty fake.
Brett Vesely
It's bad act this fall is just terrible.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah.
Brady
He takes a step back, he tries to brace. His fault.
Unknown Speaker
All right, all right.
Dick Toledo
You needed us to convince.
Unknown Speaker
No.
Brady
Thanks for that.
Brett Vesely
Can only go up from here.
Brady
Even if it was real, it wasn't good.
Unknown Speaker
All right, here's the street knockout.
Brady
Got a traffic stop. There's a cop sitting next to a car. There's a guy getting out of the passenger seat and a cardi B. Impersonator walking towards him. Let's watch the soapy life. Oh, okay. Dude is Yelling at another. He's yelling at the cop. The cop has come over. Evidently there's. Oh, the cop. Left hand closes the meal. He was right, too, because the dude was approaching. He was aggressively approaching the cop, perhaps for a tickle, and. And he took one. Just a. Bullshit.
Brett Vesely
Now where are we?
Brady
What is this, a different country or.
Unknown Speaker
Oh, yeah, it is.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, it's Mexico, okay?
Brady
Because the cops are dressed a little like Gestapo.
Dick Toledo
That's how they are down there.
Brady
Okay, man, he ain't messing around. He shuts that guy's door. Eight pounds of pressure on an open jaw will turn a man to sleep. Remember that when you're fighting next time to keep your jaw, your mouth shut.
Dick Toledo
And all 300 pounds of him hits the brick.
Brady
Doesn't take much to knock a man cold when his mouth is open.
Unknown Speaker
Not even seeing it from that bow.
Brady
They always say that in UFC fights and stuff. Oh, he's breathing with his mouth open. They're not saying that to say he's tired. They're saying because he's now at severe risk of taking a light shot and going to sleep. He hit him in the right spot. That cop hit him in the right spot because jelly roll went down.
Dick Toledo
Last one's not coming up very. Oh, there we got it.
Brady
Okay, There we go.
Unknown Speaker
It's a bus accident, but I like the Metallica.
Brady
We're inside the bus. There's a video in a bus. The bus clearly hits something. Everyone inside the bus goes forward on the beat.
Unknown Speaker
Wow.
Brady
To pusiste el centurion. Did that say killing hundred year olds? Because that's what it looked like. Anyway.
Dick Toledo
That is.
Brady
Was that it, Brady?
Unknown Speaker
That's it.
Brady
All right.
Unknown Speaker
Now, Brett, all right, he's got a. He had a day off.
Brady
So this could be the word again. Real quick. The word again. Quiet, Quiet. The word again is people. 979-36. That's what you're texting before we get to Brett's videos. Text the word people working the whole time. 9, 7, 9, 3, 6. Before I turn my head towards the screen, I just want to let you know I love you all and that the word today is people. And you could qualify for the man cave upgrade from our friends at Prestige Billiards. Az. Now, as I turn, it looks as though there is a giant.
Unknown Speaker
And it's one minute fat woman on.
Dick Toledo
An incredible sinus infection.
Brady
Oh, God. All right, It's a huge fat lady on the face, sitting on the face of a small Asian man, and she's grinding her baby hole on his head and his he can't fight back. This is like Brady trying to fight a brontosaurus. He's trying to get out, though. He's trying to fight on. She put her butt on his face, and she's farting on. She's doing it again.
Unknown Speaker
Oh, she's got her it badass.
Brady
She spread her ass cheeks and put her. This poor dude's faces between her ass cheeks.
Unknown Speaker
He's trying to tap.
Brady
He's trying to. He's trying to tap out. It's the UFC fight that won't end. Where's Big John? Where's the ref? Somebody needs to bowl her up. Oh, quit. Jesus.
Unknown Speaker
That's it.
Brady
That's it. And you know what? That's a closer is called Brady and the Brontosaurus. That's the best case scenario of what would happen with you at that park.
Unknown Speaker
Oh, my God.
Brady
Wow. Let's take another look. All right, let's do it. Now. We'll try not to react as loud so we can hear the sweet sounds right now. Seems to be going well.
Unknown Speaker
Or squeaking.
Brady
The floor is squeaking. Yeah, they're not on a bed. The floor is actually giving way. It's when she decides to. The dude is. But. Oh, God. Oh, my God, he's fighting so hard and losing every second.
Dick Toledo
Oh.
Unknown Speaker
I'm trying to tap out the best. He's battling there.
Brady
Oh, is that a woman underneath? I can't hear that. Jesus. Okay, and one lady got a sinus E. Coli infection, and this person's okay.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah.
Brady
Man.
Unknown Speaker
Oh, that's how it happened.
Brady
The things we do for love.
Dick Toledo
Close up shot. Brett, you're not beating that one.
Brady
Yeah, you might like walking in the rain and the snow.
Brett Vesely
Well, I mean, that one's entertaining, definitely.
Unknown Speaker
But you got something that.
Brady
All right.
Unknown Speaker
I don't know.
Brady
Here's number two in Brett's Friday videos.
Brett Vesely
Well, it's Friday, so, you know, you.
Brady
Got the extras this week. All right, it's an Asian lady, and she's being. She's being bukaked by two gentlemen. It's not a Japanese film. Nothing's pixelated. But she is Japanese.
Unknown Speaker
Do not resuscitate tag on his wrist.
Brady
Yeah. Just in case. And she is in a Sailor Moon shirt, and she's doing something. Oh, here's another guy. He's. And she's holding the bowl, so everything's. Everything's leaking down into a bowl.
Brett Vesely
Just dripping off the face.
Brady
Yeah, that's right. Right.
Brett Vesely
We'll skip in a little bit here.
Brady
Sc. Scooch forward a little. Get to the Chorus of whatever.
Brett Vesely
Oh, you want the chorus?
Brady
No, no, no, no, not yet. I. I want a slow build. Well, now, she's very shiny. I'll say that. Her face is very shiny.
Brett Vesely
And that bowl's getting filled.
Brady
The bowl is full. There's a lot of dudes in this room. And by the way, the room is a graded floor for drainage.
Dick Toledo
It's got the Tony Roma's bar mats in it.
Brady
Y easy to clean.
Brett Vesely
Hose off behind the red velvet, too. Look at the.
Brady
Yeah, red velvet ropes. You don't want to. That's her lined up and she's sitting like Caleb would sit from the Shriners convention. Her legs are all akimbo.
Brett Vesely
There's some more.
Brady
Is she sick? All right, you're pouring the pan into a glass of what appears to be 20 to 30 men. That's a good. That's 12 ounces. That's a soda. That's a soda Cans worth of man of plenty of different. Oh, don't do this, lady. No. I'm gonna get the bucket. Don't do it. Oh, she's holding the beaker. She seems to be enjoying this. What did your father do to you that put you in this spot? Oh, she's holding it. Is she blind? I imagine she is, from all the stuff that's in her eyes. Oh, my God. Oh, she's gonna drink it. She's gonna drink the whole 12 ouncer of bottoms up. Don't do it, lady. Don't do this. Oh, God. It's a slow burn. Oh, my God. No, don't get to that. Look at it just so slow. It's so sharp, Brett. Oh, it's so slow. Just a taste. She's got a nipple to make sure she likes it. Okay, she's just sipping it. Either do it. Either. Do it in one hit. Don't. Don't milk this. So to speak. Oh, Lord. There, it's all going down. Oh, she's got another. Each sip. Oh, my God. Brady. Brady. Her grandparents are looking down on her, right? Yeah. All right, that's plenty. Stop. I can't. I can't see it anymore. All right, that's enough of that. Oh, my God.
Brett Vesely
I will just. Oh, I mean, it's. It's tough to top the first one.
Brady
Yep.
Brett Vesely
But this one won't do it. But we'll just do this. This is a.
Brady
Okay.
Brett Vesely
It's a forest tour. We'll just call it the way it is.
Brady
Forest. That's new. She's a. Her ass is up. I don't know what's going on. There's a. Just wait. I'm gonna have to watch this. Are those quail eggs? They're. Yeah, yeah. Putting milk and quail eggs in a woman's butt in the middle of the woods. Fires out, like, 18 eggs. Oh. Ow. Just breaks a chicken egg on her ass.
Brett Vesely
On her rosebud.
Brady
Now on her head. This is the worst Billie Eilish video I've ever seen. Now she's just cracking eggs on a lady. That looks sort of fun. The second half of that was pretty funny.
Unknown Speaker
Okay, that's a forest horror.
Brady
An 18 to 20 quail eggs stuffed in her butt. And they came piling up like. Well, that's that. And then the dude just took. You know, expensive eggs are now, too. That was an expensive video.
Brett Vesely
That's what Bailey wrote. It goes forest horse.
Unknown Speaker
I think I love her.
Brady
Yeah. When she started getting regular eggs smashed on her head, it's like, oh, you are kind of fun.
Unknown Speaker
Little David Attenborough.
Brady
Yeah, he smashed it. Take a look at the forest hall. She's quite a girl, this one. Watch him crack an egg on her rose butt. Oh.
Unknown Speaker
Interrupted laying eggs.
Brady
Look at this. The penguin watches from a distance. Oh. But a predator awaits. Brontosaurus. And Brady comes shooting through the scene. Our attention is quickly diverted from the forest hall to a fat man running from a brontosaurus. Oh, he's gone. All right. Well, thanks for that.
Brett Vesely
The fat bro was still hard to beat, though.
Dick Toledo
Oh, yeah.
Brady
Yeah. I'm not gonna. I'm struggling with that one. The farting and the dude trying to tap out. He felt bad he got himself in that situation. That's why you don't date thick women. You never know when they're gonna thick or thick. Thick. You never know when they're gonna snap. Try to kill you with their ass crack. Oh, you don't want to find out. She's vengeful and fat. There you go, people. That's today's word. According to Scripps Howard Arizona has the most trouble spelling that word over all others, people. 97936. That's it. And we'll draw a winner a little later. Big Rob's coming in a second. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.
Larry McFeely
Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. And, Wayne, if my car has an extended warranty, do I have to take it back to the dealer for service?
Wayne
No, Larry, if you have an extended service contract, you can use it at.
Larry McFeely
Any Amco well, it's nice to have other options.
Wayne
I'll say. Amco has dealership quality rental cars, no hassles, and faster service.
Larry McFeely
Amco does more than just transmissions, right?
Wayne
Right. If you need car repairs or hear, feel, see, smell, or even think you have a car issue, call Amco first.
Larry McFeely
Just Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and.
Unknown Speaker
A whole lot more.
Brett Vesely
Hey, it's Brett Vesely from home brings morning sickness and I want to introduce you to Patrick Riley. Now, Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all look. When it comes to H vac plumbing or electrical issues, their certified professional technicians deliver quality you can trust and savings you'll appreciate. Right now, Patrick Riley is a special for you guys. 1500 dollars off a new AC system install, plus up to 1100 dollars in additional rebates. They offer same day emergency services with licensed professional technicians. Check them out online at patrickrileyservices. Com.
Mo
Hey, what's up? It's Mo and my friends at the University of Advancing Technology has been ranked the 1 best college for computer science for not one but two years in a row. Which makes total sense because UAT are always on the lookout for those who don't just embrace technology, they live it. From advancing computer science and robotics to cybersecurity, gaming and artificial intelligence, UAT is where innovation thrives. So if you're ready to lead the next tech revolution, visit uat.edu.mo and don't just study tech, live. It's.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Released: May 30, 2025
Hosts:
Timestamp: [05:03]
The episode opens with a poignant discussion celebrating the 100th anniversary of the first sex reassignment surgery in the United States. The hosts delve into the life of Christine Jorgensen, who underwent the groundbreaking surgery in 1952.
Brady Bogen: "The bravery of the very first person to try that was monumental." [05:30]
Bret Vesely: Reflects on the challenges faced during the early days of gender confirmation surgeries, highlighting the courage required both from the patient and the medical professionals involved.
The conversation also touches on the societal impacts and the evolution of transgender rights over the past century, acknowledging Christine's role as a trailblazer in the LGBTQ+ community.
Timestamp: [17:35]
Transitioning from historical milestones, the hosts tackle the topic of commonly misspelled words in America, spotlighting "people" as Arizona's most challenging for residents.
Dick Toledo: "People is today's word. According to Scripps Howard, Arizona has the most trouble spelling that word over all others." [17:50]
John Holmberg: Emphasizes the importance of correct spelling in effective communication and encourages listeners to participate in the spelling contest by texting the word "people" to qualify for a man cave upgrade.
The segment is both informative and interactive, engaging the audience with a blend of education and entertainment.
Timestamp: [18:38]
A critical analysis of children's breakfast cereals is presented, referencing a study by the American Medical Association that highlights alarming increases in fat, sodium, and sugar content over the past 15 years.
Brady Bogen: "First hour. Your kids are fat. I've seen your kids. They all got fat. It's your fault. Parents." [19:26]
Bret Vesely: Discussions revolve around the lack of innovation in the cereal market, pointing out that many new products since 2010 are merely variations of existing brands with increased unhealthy ingredients.
The hosts express concern over the long-term health implications for children and advocate for more nutritious breakfast options.
Timestamp: [21:10]
In celebration of National Dinosaur Day, the hosts discuss the public's response to a recent poll about visiting a real-life Jurassic Park.
Brady Bogen: "If the movies are right, it's coming to you. Eventually, we're gonna have them get loose." [21:17]
Dick Toledo: Reflects on the thrill and potential dangers, humorously debating whether such an experience would be enjoyable or perilous.
The consensus leans towards skepticism, with Brady expressing his disinterest despite the adventurous spirit of some listeners who, like himself, might be tempted by such an attraction.
Timestamp: [26:26]
A rapid-fire segment presents intriguing scientific discoveries and updates:
Tickling and Self-awareness:
Termite Mating Patterns:
Hummingbird Evolution:
Astronomical Discoveries:
The segment blends factual information with the hosts' characteristic humor, making science accessible and entertaining.
Timestamp: [41:00]
In a recurring segment, the hosts review and humorously critique user-submitted videos:
Brontosaurus Encounter:
Aggressive Tickle Incident:
Fart-Induced Sinus Infection:
The segment underscores the show's blend of humor and relatability, as hosts find amusement in the peculiarities of user-generated content.
Timestamp: [44:52]
As the episode nears its end, hosts encourage listener participation through spelling contests and prize giveaways.
John Holmberg: Reminds listeners to text the word "people" to participate in the man cave upgrade contest. "And we'll draw a winner a little later." [36:15]
Brady Bogen: Expresses appreciation for the audience, "Before I turn my head towards the screen, I just want to let you know I love you all and that the word today is people." [36:48]
The episode wraps up with a mix of final thoughts, humorous reflections on the discussed topics, and teasers for upcoming segments.
Brady Bogen: "Nobody's gonna bang this lady anyway. She's disgusting." [07:25]
Dick Toledo: "Cause you know if Brady's looking down on you from heaven, he’s probably watching you turn your grandkids into touchdowns." [09:19]
Brady Bogen: "Honestly, you're banned from the Jurassic Park." [24:27]
Brady Bogen: "Patrick Riley is your total home solutions provider where one call does it all." [15:07] (Note: This is part of an advertisement and reflects the sponsor message.)
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona masterfully intertwines lighthearted banter with insightful discussions on historical milestones, public health issues, and scientific curiosities. The hosts' chemistry and humor make complex topics accessible, while interactive segments keep the audience engaged. Whether debating the intricacies of English spelling or the plausibility of a real-life Jurassic Park, John Holmberg and his team provide a dynamic and entertaining morning listen for Arizona's residents.