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Brett Holmberg
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.
Byron
Brett I sure do. It's M and P Guns Customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polishing, plating, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.
Brett Holmberg
Well, can you do this to my gun?
Byron
We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms and inventory daily with no wait.
Brett Holmberg
Well, there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at MMP GunsCustoms.com It's John Holmerg here.
John Holmberg
From the Morning Sickness for Lifechangerloan.com A person I've gotten to know very well over the past 25 years messaged me the other day, said all right, Holmberg, I have an appointment with Life Change Alone. Because of you. I got to see what this is about. Do you have any advice? And my advice is simple. If you've got good credit and you're responsible with money, let the gang at Life Change Alone talk to you about the situation. That's a better and more beneficial way of paying off my home. Most clients pay off their mortgage in around five years and save over $250,000. It's not magic, it's just math.
Dick Toledo
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John Holmberg
You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brett Holmberg
He's evil sitting right here.
John Holmberg
Come on. No, no he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. I just got an email from someone I respect greatly. I'm not going to use their name here. That basically says Trump has insight on things we don't. I don't put anything past the crazy Democrats. The desperation is unhealthy. I am now on the side of proof. Trump wrong. All right, Joe. Joe Biden is a cyber organism built by AI I hope you're right. The more I read it, the more I'm like, God, I hope. And I forgot about this. South park in 2017 did an entire episode based on Please, if you're the president, put your phone down, please. The whole show was like, we should try to put our phones down, especially if we're the president. Like they were. It was a, an appeal to just him to say please, just you. We'll do it too. But you put your phone down. The worst thing his handlers can hear is, I got a poop. Where's my phone? I'm going to be in there for a while. Oh, no. It's unchecked, unfettered nonsense. It's going to be flying out of them. There's so much in that room. It's coming out top and bottom. And while I sit here and take a great big healthy. Some say it's the healthiest America. Really good stuff piling out of me. McDonald's and all the goods. It dawned on me that I think Joe Biden's dead. Oh, boy, here we go. So today's word, by the way, because we're back at it, to qualify for the man cave upgrade from our friends at Prestige Billiards. Az win a whole man cave. We'll tell you all about that in a little bit. Today's word. Text it, starting now. Cyborg. Cyborg. The text is 97936. So you text 97936 word CYBORG. No exclamation point, no funny emoji. Just that word nigga in there. It'll prompt you and say, hey, congratulations. Wait for a call from dummy and then maybe win yourself this glorious man cave. I'll go through it. I'll tell you what's in there. You get a pool table. You get a ping pong conversion top for that pool table. Get an air hockey table next to the pool table. You get a ceramic charcoal smoker. That's all from our friends at Prestige Billiards. And meathead. Twin Peaks going to throw in $200 Twin Peaks gift card wise coatings. Going to take Your garage floor. And they're going to code it for you, make it look beautiful. That I need that something fierce. Game day Men's Health is going to give you $1,000 gift card for what they do. All that is going at your house if you win the Man Cave upgrade, which is pretty awesome. All Daily qualifiers get $50 gifts gift certificate from Von Hansen's Meat and Spirits and Mesa, too, Plus a couple tickets to go see Breaking Benjamin. Diamondback Stick gets involved in that thing for the finals. It's a lot. There's a lot. But that's it. It's right there, Cyborg. It's up and ready. All right.
Brett Holmberg
There you go.
John Holmberg
Richard, just. You're asking a part. Oh, is this it? I'm a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over a metal endoskelet. The boy's touching him. If it was Biden, you'd smell his hair. You know what's weird about that? How bad the acting actually is. Arnold made that kid like. Arnold was the best actor in that. That's how bad Eddie Furlong was. He's horrible in that movie, but it's such a great movie. It doesn't matter. That's.
Brady Bogan
Joe came off as a spoiled brat.
Brett Holmberg
He's a little bit of a. Patrick's brother was good. He didn't say anything.
John Holmberg
He was great because all he had to do was stare at stuff and just walk. Cool. By the way, before we get to the Brady Report, I got this as. And this is going back to, like, being fooled on the Internet. I'm going in, says, hi, John, this is Janet Jackson. I've been looking for you ever since you yelled at me at the Las Vegas concert. And now I finally found you. I'd love to come visit you, but guess what? I've lost my credit card, and it's hard for me to travel. Please send $5,000 so I can come say hi back.
Brett Holmberg
That's nice of her.
Brady Bogan
I think that's real, man.
John Holmberg
If you were at the show the night I yelled her name at her from the front row, you'd start to wonder, like she realized he might be a super fan and I wasn't. But I got to be. That night, I screamed her name so loud, I think the band skipped. Oh, so loud. She looked down. Nothing happened. I thought I was going to be the guy in the chair when she go. When she did. That's the way love goes. Because she supposedly takes someone out of the audience, plops them down in a chair, dry humps him while she sings, and I Thought after my massive Janet scream, that was going to be me. But it wasn't. It was a Mexican guy. And we have gotten rid of that. That will never happen again.
Brett Holmberg
You're welcome.
John Holmberg
You're welcome. It's right. You're okay. You get that? I took care of that for you. I was president when you were at that show. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. And we call this the Brady Report to you by our friends at All Pro Shade Concepts. Brady's commercial is out and about with the All Pro Shade Concepts. Oh, and it's just Brady, the old.
Dick Toledo
The other 81.
John Holmberg
It's a good spot. No, no, he's. It's good, actually. You know who's really good in it is the guy from All Pro Shad. He's excellent. Yeah, they're really good. They have the mic so close to Brady chewing. That it is. You'll never forget this commercial in your life. But it's funny. And then Brady has a slave boy. Now you get it when you watch the ad. He's got a slave 2.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Who's the other one? I only caught one boy. Oh, is that a different boy?
Brady Bogan
Just does the remote for the awning?
John Holmberg
I thought he just had the one boy who did both. Oh, well, what a wonderful. I didn't know. So all you got to do is ask All Pro Shade how much extra for the slave boy?
Brady Bogan
They say that afterwards.
John Holmberg
There is no slave boy. Okay, I didn't watch the disclaimer. I just made the call. Like, I'm not so much into the awning stuff, but how much for a slave boy? And they had that because who's a Kyle? Is that his name? The kid that's hitting the button?
Brady Bogan
Alejandro.
John Holmberg
Oh, Alejandro. Wow. All right. Well, not sure that's legal. I think it has to be a Kyle and Gilbert, but it's pretty good. It's funny commercial and Brady sitting there under a shade. You really get a good idea of what Brady's patio looks like, thanks to All Pro Shade. It looks pretty damn nice if you ask me. Head over there. All prochade.com. that is where you go for that glorious thing. And drop the temperatures that are gonna make every day feel like this. Even went to 105 out. Brady reported.
Brady Bogan
Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.
John Holmberg
Hello, world. Hi.
Brady Bogan
You ready for this one, boys? National leave work early day out.
Brett Holmberg
Sounds like every morning show in this building other than us.
John Holmberg
Sounds like being a salesperson in radio. Oh, wait, you gotta show up to leave Early.
Brady Bogan
We might have to celebrate a little bit today.
John Holmberg
Oh, I know who will. See you, Izzy.
Brady Bogan
Especially now.
John Holmberg
See you, GPT. We get to watch them leave every day. You know what we are? We're like night watchmen. Have a nice day. No, we take. Like, they all leave before we do.
Dick Toledo
It's like the Sheepdog and.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Morning, George. Except for we never say good morning to them. We never see him come in. We're already working when they come in and we're still working when they leave. And we've got kush schedules, by the way. Let's throw that out there. This little radio show here, it ain't easy, but you can't complain about the hours. These folks come rolling into town, show up half hour later and leave a half hour earlier. I don't know how they did it. That's on me. I should have negotiated a better time frame of 6 to around 9ish. Yeah, if we feel it sometimes. Sometimes one of them just leaves. Tripp always says, I hate that. You face that window, you see everything. Because he came rolling in that one time in that driver had. Did you come in in a brand new Land Rover? You idiots see everything. Yeah, we see all your employees leaving before their job's over. What do you mean? Like half that show was gone at 8 o' clock. I don't know what was running then.
Brett Holmberg
We had ski mask for the first six months, too.
John Holmberg
We fixed that. That was. We should have gotten a raise for that.
Brett Holmberg
Saving the company money.
John Holmberg
KDKB's morning show was shown up 15 minutes after a show is supposed to start. We called her ski mask. Should have worn one every time she got a paycheck. She wasn't here the whole time.
Brady Bogan
Couple of baseless fun facts.
John Holmberg
We'll fix it.
Brady Bogan
Some species, species of male spiders tie up the female spiders before mating so the females don't eat them afterwards.
John Holmberg
It's a little fight before bondage.
Dick Toledo
Sexy spider bondage.
John Holmberg
What kind of spiders do that?
Brady Bogan
I was just looking to see it.
John Holmberg
I didn't say which.
Brady Bogan
Fanatis.
John Holmberg
Fanatis.
Brady Bogan
Fanatis.
John Holmberg
Where do they live in?
Brady Bogan
I think Czechoslovakia.
John Holmberg
Thrown out the Czechoslovakian spiders.
Brady Bogan
Come on.
Dick Toledo
We zip in, we zip out.
John Holmberg
They know the borders of Eastern Europe. The whole place is the same. No, no. We don't leave Czechoslovakia or Czechoslovakian spiders. We're going over there. That is Bosnia. Govina. I don't know.
Brady Bogan
Maybe they weren't there. It just says researchers from Czech Republic. The researchers are from Thanatus fabrici species of spiders.
John Holmberg
Sounds Italian, but It could. Like my guess, because Czechoslovakia, Germany, Poland, they're all the same thing. We drew the borders. It's pretty much a region where I think the same stuff lives everywhere. But I do like the idea that there's a spider out there that is into and respects the confinement borders of the Czech Republic.
Brady Bogan
He wants to be able to jab and live.
John Holmberg
If we go next to next to the Czech Republic and try to tie up our girls, we get stomped out. So it is legal here in Czechoslovakia.
Brady Bogan
The Mission Impossible TV series from the 1960s invented the term self destruct.
John Holmberg
It didn't exist before that with yeah, wow, wait. We didn't have anything that self destructed like the government.
Brady Bogan
Not according to this fun fact.
John Holmberg
Huh. That's interesting. No way. There is the Czechoslovakia.
Brett Holmberg
No, keep him over there.
John Holmberg
Jesus Christ. Things horrific and tie you up. How about that? You wake up in the middle of the night, I can't move. I'm going to penetrate Uranus. Now I'm a Czechoslovakian spider from hell. You're not gonna believe this, honey. Last night I got tied to the bed, raped by a big spider from Czechoslovakia.
Dick Toledo
Me too.
John Holmberg
She's still laying there smoking. I married one.
Brady Bogan
The longest winning streak in any professional sport in history is held by a squash player from Pakistan named Yangayer Khan. He won 555 consecutive matches from 1981 to 1986.
John Holmberg
The Michael Jordan of squash, Cy Young of squash. He's got the wins. That's true.
Dick Toledo
Like you always say about psych. I got another one.
John Holmberg
Well, that was. That was the old camp. John Campanera. John Campanella. His old thing about cy young winning 525 games is 25 wins a year for 20 years.
Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo from Homework morning sickness. For Chime, the checking account that helps you manage your money better, Chime is unlike any other banking app. When you set up a qualifying direct deposit with your Chime checking account, you get access to MyPay, which gives you up to $500 of your pay before payday. When times are tight. MyPay carries all the benefits of Chime, including fee free overdrafts of up to $200, no monthly or minimum balance fees and access to over 50,000 ATMs, more than three times the top three national banks combined. Move toward a better financial future with Chime and get started today@chime.com Holmberg where you'll open a Chime checking account in just two minutes. That's Chime dot comberg. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA member is FDIC Spot Me Eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Fees apply at out of network ATMs. MyPay eligibility requirements apply. Credit limits range from 20 to $500. Two dollar fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to chime.com disclosures for details. It's Dick Todlittle for FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook right now. With FanDuel you can make the smarter play with performance trends. You can get the latest stats right inside the app and see who's he. Get started today by visiting FanDuel.com KUPD and you'll get started with 200 in bonus bets guaranteed when you place your first $5 bet. Make every moment more with FanDuel official sports betting partner of the NBA 21 + in President Arizona first online real money wager only five dollar first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawal bonus bets that expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms of sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to.
Brett Holmberg
53342 we're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?
Byron
The choice is simple Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shoot. Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have ammo ink 9mm hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.
Brett Holmberg
Well it sounds like MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
Byron
That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com Holmberg's.
John Holmberg
Morning Sickness man is what we are. The honor system is like how many wins you have this week side four or five. I think probably five. I think five.
Brett Holmberg
That's like people playing in our golf tournament.
John Holmberg
Yeah it is.
Brady Bogan
He wouldn't let anyone else pitch.
John Holmberg
I'm going out there again today skipper.
Brady Bogan
What is my day in the rotation.
John Holmberg
But they had sit down rookie. Can I go in there and pitch? It looks like we're gonna give me the win for this one. I I put in a lot of thought.
Brady Bogan
There's a trend going viral on tick tock. People are Putting jalapenos in their white wine. Hillbillies and the experts are on board. They say it's quite good.
John Holmberg
Experts.
Brett Holmberg
What's happening?
Brady Bogan
Sororities, wine snobs.
John Holmberg
I don't see many wines.
Dick Toledo
That's right. When it hits postinas and it's a.
John Holmberg
Real thing, I don't see real wine.
Brady Bogan
How do you know it hasn't? Yeah.
John Holmberg
I'll guarantee you this.
Brett Holmberg
I don't go there.
John Holmberg
No. Somalia is saying, chuck a jalapeno in it.
Dick Toledo
Have Matthias do that at the bar. A little box wine.
Brady Bogan
Some.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. That's where it makes the most sense. Yeah. You go out to, like, Ocean44 and have the dude come to the table and go, I'd like. You know what I want is, like, an olive in it or something like. No, we're not sticking five across the.
Brett Holmberg
Mouth for even saying it.
John Holmberg
500 glass of wine. I'm not sticking a jalapeno.
Brady Bogan
One expert said that it's because the wine has organic compounds called pyrozines, which are also found in bell peppers and jalapenos.
John Holmberg
Great. So take a bite of one and sip it. Pairs well. But if I was a Somalia citrusy. The rah rah room. It's Ryan. Go in there, and if he's like, this is a nice bottle of wine. Yeah. Chuck a. Chuck a jalapeno in that. He'd be like, I think you're looking for la pinata. You. Or do they still. What was the name of that? Chevy's. Yeah. I don't think they make them anymore. But go down to Chevy's and get.
Brady Bogan
Some jalapeno wine as you're watching the tortilla machine.
John Holmberg
Yeah. That thing was fascinating. Don't make fun of that machine, because I've never seen anything more fascinating than the tortilla. It was just in the lobby, just sitting there.
Brady Bogan
Plop.
John Holmberg
I turned into an idiot immediately. Nothing went in. Just tortillas came out. There was no flour or.
Dick Toledo
Wait, what? You never saw the dough go in?
John Holmberg
No, just a conveyor belt. Just showed up on the show. Magic. AI Chevy's tortillas. They had to go out of business because there's no way that the wizard let them stay. Like, the deal they made at the crossroads to be a restaurant was only 10 years old. They got that magic machine of tortillas, and it just. It could only pump out so many. And then it broke, and they couldn't make more. That thing caught my attention every time I was there.
Brady Bogan
That's one thing. Hillstone should have kept.
John Holmberg
Yeah, because that's where it is now. Because there was a Chevy's there and then hillstones there now. And they should have kept the magic never ending Zoltan on the patio. Yeah. Look. That's not even it Rich.
Dick Toledo
That's not the right.
Brady Bogan
It was like a popcorn that was making. I think that one made chips.
John Holmberg
Huh. I didn't see that.
Brett Holmberg
The popcorn one.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, looks like a popcorn one. Make the chips.
John Holmberg
The one in the lobby was just pumping them out. Had a conveyor belt and just tortillas appeared magically and then got put into a pile. And then some like 16 year old kid who could have been like 40 came with his gloved hands and pulled a ton of them out. Oh, the machine of Chevy's. It all went out of business when Josh got went from being big to a kid again. That's basically is the same wish on the boardwalk Chevy's made.
Brady Bogan
There it is back there.
John Holmberg
El Machina. You actually said that. I thought you were joking. That's what it was called.
Brady Bogan
El Machino.
John Holmberg
I already remembered its cool name.
Dick Toledo
And that was the same kind of thing.
John Holmberg
I guess it was. I remember it being smaller.
Brady Bogan
It's gonna puff.
John Holmberg
I remember the conveyor belt and then the puffy ones came out. Oh.
Brady Bogan
When you order your sizzling fajita you're gonna get a piping hot, freshly made.
John Holmberg
Towards right there out of the lobby. El Machino. We made the. We made a deal with a wizard on the corner. We have five years of El Machino and then it's going to disappear back into the vortex of space.
Dick Toledo
That guy's authentic.
John Holmberg
He's authentic Italian. That dude. I kind of miss your Chevy's. You were dirty and weird. But that Elma. I remember it having a name. Brady remembered its neon name. El Machino. El Machina. Well that's kind of a giveaway machina machine. Tis. Oh yeah. That's proof. It was from wizards and warlocks and it could conjure tortillas for us from thin air.
Brett Holmberg
There's still some around. There's Chevy. Yeah, they're California.
John Holmberg
What the machina. Is El Machina still there?
Brett Holmberg
Yeah, I'm sure the machina is still there somewhere.
John Holmberg
There certainly isn't. El Machina.
Brett Holmberg
I had no idea.
John Holmberg
There's like 10 of them left.
Brady Bogan
Get a number to one. I want to call to see if.
John Holmberg
The is there one in Sacramento Machina is still running.
Dick Toledo
Gotta be Northern California there.
John Holmberg
Because I'm. I'm planning.
Brett Holmberg
There you go trip to Sack Garden Highway.
John Holmberg
I gotta get me On Sacktown. If my boy Reggie's listening, we're going to Sacramento. Watch them A's. We're gonna hit a Chevy's along the way.
Dick Toledo
There you go. Now find where the minor league stadium is.
John Holmberg
I'm not gonna eat there, but I'm gonna watch El Machina for about an.
Brady Bogan
Hour with a couple of margies.
John Holmberg
The machine. It's the Bert Kreischer of tortilla making. No, I don't drink margaritas from Chevy's bar. They've got the Pre mix. It's just pure sugar.
Brett Holmberg
It's only 11 hours from us, boys.
John Holmberg
Well, if you drove. I'm not driving. I'm no idiot. All right, I'm going to that. Makina.
Brady Bogan
There's a British Airways flight attendant arrested. He went on drug binge. He was on a flight from San Francisco to London and they found him in the business bathroom. The business class bathroom. Dancing.
Dick Toledo
The pilot?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. No, not the pilot. Oh, not the pilot. There's a flight attendant. They're like doing, you know, dinner service or something. Like, where's. Where's Fenwick? He's missing. And someone heard commotion going on there. He was in the bathroom just dancing.
John Holmberg
That happens. He had room to dance in there.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. I think the business class one's a little bit bigger.
John Holmberg
Is it?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Yeah, but it doesn't.
John Holmberg
Look, don't take Molly before a couple of cubic feet. Yeah, it's not gonna be like you're sprawled out or anything. Can't sleep in it.
Brady Bogan
We've got this woman in California. She was at her house and she woke up. This is not the first time this has happened. Woke up to a guy sucking her toes.
Dick Toledo
Not the first time.
Brady Bogan
You said we've done a story.
Dick Toledo
I thought the same lady had it happen twice.
John Holmberg
You see, that's how I got to jail. But they threw that out. So I got to go home to Camille and suck on her feet for a little bit.
Brady Bogan
It happened on May 21st near Modesto. But please share the details on Facebook. 27 year old Christian Aguiano had allegedly been harassing the woman for months and then more or less stalking her. He followed her home from work, even slept outside her place in his car. Two Wednesdays ago, she woke up around midnight to find the edge of the bed. There he was sucking on her toes.
John Holmberg
I think I'd rather get raped. He tried to get bad with her me out. Oh, my God.
Brady Bogan
She pushed him away, called 911. He ran off. Cops couldn't find him that night, but tracked him down the next day, oh, he apparently tried to come back.
John Holmberg
Wait, he didn't go to jail right away for pruning up her toes.
Brady Bogan
Couldn't find him.
John Holmberg
Oh.
Brady Bogan
And the next day they catch him because he's heading back.
John Holmberg
He was. Yeah. He wasn't done. There was nine more piggies. This little pick, this little pig. The little one's the hardest one to prune. Takes so long. Just do it a little bit.
Brady Bogan
I'll end it with a couple of wild world stories.
John Holmberg
The little one's like a lady button. It's hard to find and get into your mouth, but once you do.
Brady Bogan
Hello, my friends. It's Brady Bogan with your wild Wild world. A nightmare for you, John. This happened in Whatcom County, Washington. A semi truck jackknifed and rolled over. And the report came out that 250 million honeybees escaped. And the sheriff's like, no, no, no, it wasn't 200. It was 14 million.
John Holmberg
That's not good. Oh, I'd lose my mind.
Brady Bogan
They were. The truck was carrying 70,000 pounds of honey as well. With the hives.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Bees won't travel without it. That's a bait.
Brett Holmberg
Great band, though.
John Holmberg
That's how you get them in the truck. All right, bees, stop flying around. It's time to get to business. God damn it. What do we have to do to get them in this truck? Hey, what if we coated it with honey? We had this working like a charm. Now start to driving and be careful. I wonder if the bees. They're in cages, probably right. But does that matter if they're in the boxes? But if you have 14 million bees in your car.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
They're constantly moving around. Could they, like, manipulate the speed of a. This is Neil degrasse.
Brady Bogan
You mean all their wings, the energy.
John Holmberg
If they all got together and said, all right, forward. Could they push the truck again, like, as it's moving?
Brady Bogan
How many would it take?
John Holmberg
That's right. How many would it take for bees to hit the. Hit the wall all at the same time?
Dick Toledo
We got to get NDT on the show.
John Holmberg
How many bees would it take to beat a silverback gorilla? Also, that's another question.
Brady Bogan
We have this couple that was in Namibia for a little overnight safari guy is a rich businessman, as they're saying. But he. His name's Burnt Kebble.
John Holmberg
His name is Berndt.
Brady Bogan
B E R N D. Burnt.
John Holmberg
Burned. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
And he and his wife Connie were sleeping in one of the above the tent or the above the car tents.
John Holmberg
Oh, a truck on a tent on top of the Truck. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
And that night he decided he had to go to the bathroom. He gets down the ladder.
John Holmberg
What ate him?
Brady Bogan
Lion.
John Holmberg
Nice. Took him like he didn't look around. He didn't piss off the top of the truck. It's.
Brady Bogan
It's pretty dark.
John Holmberg
You piss off the top of the truck.
Brady Bogan
That's what I.
John Holmberg
You hang out the zipper.
Brady Bogan
I'm not going down the ladder.
John Holmberg
No way. I'm standing on the top rung and I'm pissing off the top of the truck. That's insanity.
Brady Bogan
Knowing there's a chance that Charlie, the local lioness that lives in there, is on the names for the.
John Holmberg
So did it get him?
Brady Bogan
Was they. Pretty sure. The wildlife experts there in that area.
John Holmberg
Said, yeah, it was Charlie.
Brady Bogan
It was probably Charlie.
John Holmberg
And he's dead.
Brady Bogan
They're gonna now hunt Charlie.
John Holmberg
They're gonna kill Charlie for eating that guy. It's not her. Like, you were in a. You're in her.
Brady Bogan
I went down. Yeah. In that area. There are about 60 desert lions in the region that they're in 59. And now they. And they know.
John Holmberg
Most of them, their pals was tagged, but they didn't. Nobody told the guy, hey, in the middle of the night, just stand on the hood and let one loose.
Brady Bogan
Get this. The guy burnt who got attacked by the lion was giving millions of dollars to help save the lions in that area.
John Holmberg
He's dead, though.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
I'm starting to wonder about Tammy back in the tent.
Brady Bogan
Connie.
John Holmberg
Connie, whatever.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, Connie had to listen to the.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Connie pushed him.
Brady Bogan
There was a couple of yells because.
John Holmberg
My guess is he was taking a piss. Connie, come out here. What? I was trying to pee. Come here. What is it? Look, there's a line right at the end of the thing. Finally, I get burnt money.
Dick Toledo
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Brett Holmberg
Hey Byron, I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns.
Byron
Brett I sure do. It's M and P Guns Customs. MMP Guns is creating some amazing firearms. We offer polish, bluing, custom laser engraving, laser stippling, cerakoting and performance upgrades. We do everything in house with our master trained craftsmen. You can select our designs or make up your own.
Brett Holmberg
Well, can you do this to my gun?
Byron
We can do it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live, you can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with no wait.
Brett Holmberg
Well there you have it. MMP Guns on the northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at mmpgunscustoms.com Fisher Tools has been the.
Unknown
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Brett Holmberg
Trust Holmberg's morning sickness Check his beneficiaries.
John Holmberg
Yeah, exactly. Find out what Connie got. If he got eaten by this lion.
Brady Bogan
Connie tried to get some good news from the investigating police officer there on the wedding ring. Yeah, he goes thankfully it would have been pretty quick humans so he didn't have to go through much pain. If that makes you feel any better. That line finished him really quick.
John Holmberg
She sat and just listened to it.
Brady Bogan
Well she he got not love. It was you know like two in the morning.
John Holmberg
So what I don't care what time it is. If a guy goes lion, lion. Oh I'm in the lion like and you're like oh it's so just how.
Brady Bogan
Inconvenient are you getting down?
John Holmberg
Well no, I don't love anything that much. But I'm just saying I think she pushed him. No man in his right mind who's had a successful business, Leaves the truck, he'll piss in a jar, he'll whip it out the side of the tent, he'll pee on top of the car. But he's not climbing down the ladder until lion country. Yeah, no man's that dumb. He got pushed and now he can't tell his story. He was trying to wave her out. Honey, get the camera.
Brady Bogan
This guy. Usually you're in a camp with guides. I'll let you know.
John Holmberg
Right. That's why I think she pushed him. What is it? I'm on the top rung here. I'm taking a pee. But like right there's a lion. Oh, yoink. It's over.
Brady Bogan
And finally, congratulations to the 55 year old Sherpa Cammy Rita. He summited Mount Everest for the 31st time.
John Holmberg
It's pretty awesome.
Brady Bogan
March 27th.
John Holmberg
Which makes me completely unimpressed when whitey comes back with the. I climbed it because the sherpas are doing it like twice a week.
Brett Holmberg
To me that's a one and done.
John Holmberg
I did it.
Brett Holmberg
I don't need to do it again.
John Holmberg
This is zero and done for me. I don't have any interest of climbing that.
Brady Bogan
He first summoned Everest in 1994 when he was 24 years old. And he's climbed the mountain every year since then. At least once, sometimes twice.
John Holmberg
That's crazy. When you look at the numbers the sherpas put up. And then I saw a picture. I was telling Brady, I saw a picture of a sherpa the other day. And the guy filming it goes, this is amazing. He had the entire camp on his back. It was about seven feet of camp. And the dude's just hoofing it next to him. It's got tents and all the cookware and all the food and all the supplies he's got. Really surprisingly. I don't know if this is bigoted or racist. He's got wonderful teeth, the sherpa. They have good dental care.
Brady Bogan
You remember that?
John Holmberg
Very good dental care over there.
Brady Bogan
Kind of the documentary film of the lady that was married to the guy that started mtv and she was on that crew to summit the mountain. That was the one that lost.
John Holmberg
Like this one that made the movie with James Brolin.
Brady Bogan
She made this earpa was. Yeah. Carried the espresso machine.
John Holmberg
Oh yeah.
Brady Bogan
Comforts.
John Holmberg
He did it. Crazy. All right.
Brady Bogan
Got a couple of birdie videos.
John Holmberg
Knock them down.
Brady Bogan
First one is. Oh yeah. And a little operation, little surgery. Guy swallowed something, couldn't get it out.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's in his throat. And the doctor's got. This is like Czechoslovakian surgery. They've got a tube like they're doing an oil change in his mouth all the way down. And they're listening to terrible music. And now lighter. Yeah. This is Mexican medicine right here. What we're looking at now another thing, this guy's got 16 things in his mouth. And one of them is like Cornelius, Yukon Cornelius's pickaxe. They've got a gas pump, a pickaxe, and another. I don't know what the hell that is. What's in his throat? Oh, my God. He's still awake. He just moved. Yeah. Oh. What's in there, Brady?
Brady Bogan
It's a wrench. A whole wrench.
John Holmberg
Like a 3 8. Wow. How did he eat that?
Brady Bogan
I don't know.
John Holmberg
That's bigger than 3 8. Look at that big one.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah, that's a big one.
Brett Holmberg
That's like a three quarter inch.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's a big ass wrench.
Brady Bogan
I think they're back in the kitchen of a restaurant.
John Holmberg
Yeah. It does not look very.
Dick Toledo
Did it reset or are they pulling another one out?
John Holmberg
I think it reset. Okay. Nobody's wearing a mask or gloves.
Brady Bogan
They got Hair Mexico.
John Holmberg
They're in the purple scrubs. But they, they, they might all just be estheticians. I think they might just do eyebrow like weaves.
Brady Bogan
We can do it.
John Holmberg
I think they're over at Pure Beauty right now pulling a wrench out of this cat's throat.
Dick Toledo
You watch that.
John Holmberg
It' whole thing.
Dick Toledo
They eat things.
John Holmberg
You don't need a wrench. It's humanly impossible to swallow a wrench.
Brett Holmberg
Somebody it pulls a snap on wrench out of there. It's ridiculous.
John Holmberg
It's a good wrench. Yeah.
Brady Bogan
He didn't got it.
John Holmberg
I know.
Unknown
30 wrench, bro.
John Holmberg
Oh, that is horrifying. Yikes. Somebody shoved. That's cartel. That was shoved in his throat.
Brady Bogan
Next one is a guy swimming. You know, summer is right around the corner. It's warming up. This guy, his summer's done.
John Holmberg
He's gonna take a quick. Oh, a rock just fell off the mountain that he was standing by posing for a photo and hit him square in the head now. And then he's dead.
Brady Bogan
Oh, that's done.
John Holmberg
He can't walk ever again. He's just standing there, man, posing for a picture. And a giant boulder comes tumbling down a hill. God hates him is all that is Brady's God. Absolutely Brady's God. Just hit him with a dirt cloth. Never like Jason. I'm going to hit him with dirt. Watch this Jesus, come here for a second. Watch this. Oh, dad, don't do it. No. It's funny. Nobody likes that kid anyway.
Brady Bogan
All he heard was. The last thing he heard was Toledo, go time.
John Holmberg
It's over. That's the last thing you hear. Come on, dad, don't. Nah, seriously, Jesus. I watched him jerking off the other day. The kid won't stop. I'm gonna end it. I'm gonna throw a rock at him. All right, Bert, what do you got?
Brett Holmberg
All right, this one coming in from another guy that throws in occasionally. Los Hermanos Cerveza. Sent this one in the beer, brother. Yeah, he said this is. Said this is a West side concert that's happening. So I don't know if it was Kendrick Lamar or what, but was this here?
John Holmberg
We're at a concert. It was a rap concert. There's a man punching a lot of women. Or is that a WNBA woman? Oh, somebody's just beating the tar out of somebody down there. Oh, and then a guy just. That's a fell. And he's swinging at anybody, Girl. No, he doesn't. He's locking women one at one after another. The women are coming at him, and they're falling like bowling pins, man. And the original one got up and he helped her.
Dick Toledo
That's. What are they.
John Holmberg
Here's the. Here's the question I have about this stuff, and I need to ask people who are into rap music, how can you be so active in your pants? Don't fall down when you only pull them up to your thighs. Like, I can't understand how your pants stay up. Up when they're down at your thighs. I don't know. That's a good question, because I just assumed their chonies. You have to have your legs wide all the time.
Dick Toledo
All the time.
John Holmberg
I've tried around the house to have my pants lower than my ass. It won't hang. I'm not getting in any fights. I'm going out. I'm like Raggedy Andy. My. The clothes are coming off.
Dick Toledo
We've seen this one recently.
Brady Bogan
We did this.
John Holmberg
I don't know.
Brett Holmberg
We did this one.
John Holmberg
I don't remember this flaming girl.
Brady Bogan
She does the.
John Holmberg
Oh, she the one that eats the fire.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
There's a bunch of drummers around her. Let me see it.
Brady Bogan
And only one drummer helps Moloch.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. And then she lights her whole face up. That's right. I think you said that last time, Brad. Oh, that's right. Her head started on fire. She's a fire breather. The music is extraordinary. Yeah. She's successful so far. Just doing it on a street bridge. And now whole face is on fire. They keep the beat. They keep. Now hit her with your drumsticks. Yeah. Treat her like a bass. She says, stop hitting me. That's not cool.
Brady Bogan
Oh, she has no eyebrows.
John Holmberg
Oh, no, she's definitely. She definitely looks a little bit alopecia.
Brett Holmberg
Well, let's go to another fight. This one had a Padres game.
John Holmberg
Ooh, San Diego Padres. Oh, dude just reaches up and puts a guy out. Now another guy just starts getting beat up. Oh, then another guy goes in. Well, then he taking people out. There'll be no Padre fans left after this. Another one. Oh, he's swing. Oh, Manny Machado still up.
Dick Toledo
People do that. Just yell, hey, yeah. Yeah.
John Holmberg
That is the male equivalent of being a woman, screaming the words, stop it.
Dick Toledo
Doing.
John Holmberg
And meanwhile, you're just filming it. That dude dropped four Padres fans. That's pretty good.
Brett Holmberg
All right, how about this one?
John Holmberg
Says the absolute worst of only fans. Oh, this will be good. Oh, boy. Oh, I don't want to see this, Brad. I know what's going on. There's a lady who's throwing up on something, and she's got a butt plug. She's working. She's violently puking. Oh, my God, it's a bag of vomit. No, no, no, no. That's it.
Brett Holmberg
That's it.
John Holmberg
That was it. She just puked and puked and banged herself in the butt.
Brett Holmberg
But let's go for this one. How about some perfect. How about some weekly dose of confusion?
John Holmberg
I do have to wonder what she did with that bag of vomit after. All right, all right. This is transvestites with great fake cans.
Unknown
Sword fighting.
John Holmberg
Sword fighting. Oh, that's interesting. I've never seen that before. The double decker beat off one penis resting on top of another penis.
Dick Toledo
It's got both.
John Holmberg
And one of the dudes with great cans is jerking the other one. They do have magnificent breasts.
Brett Holmberg
Yes.
John Holmberg
My friend Anthony would be totally into this. Wow.
Brady Bogan
That's it.
John Holmberg
That's all right. You're a fever dream today, Brett. Monday. I'm left with a lot of questions. It's Monday, all right, but I've never seen transvestite. Well, because I'm not really seeking it out where one places the other on touch. Like the way Brady does sandwiches on top of meat. Yes. A double glizzy. You got a Double Decker Glizzy? Yeah, that.
Dick Toledo
I want to see you take one of those down, Brady.
John Holmberg
But I didn't realize that when you double Decker glizzies One hand can do all the work. And it's one. It's.
Dick Toledo
You have to have a formidable hand, which.
John Holmberg
Well, one tip is facing. Each guy's got a tip facing and they're touching each other.
Dick Toledo
Are there matching curves?
John Holmberg
Not necessarily. Sometimes they dip down, but either way.
Dick Toledo
In this particular incident, in this instance, they matched.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I guess that would rest right in that little canoe. And those gigantic cans. It's hard to ignore great cans. Really nice cans for fellas especially. Don't see a lot of guys with cans. That beautiful dude's got a great set. Yeah, both of those guys did.
Brady Bogan
You don't hear that too often.
John Holmberg
I mean, if we were playing two hand touch above the waist, I'm playing with them. And I don't care that I know or don't know what's going on down south. You're not allowed to breach the waistline. Maybe that's how those guys keep their pants on when they're down past there. They just put a wang in it. I got hit on. I did a click on pornhub the other day, and it was a really hot girl and she was riding a guy just a thumbnail. And I'm like, I'm clicking on that. She's beautiful. And then I. What's going on there? She was not riding the dude. She was receiving the dude. Shooting. No, she was given. Oh, oh. And I'm like, I could. And she's doing it from on top. And they had it kind of in this. Big enough to kind of. It was a lot for me to stomach.
Brett Holmberg
But you muscled through.
John Holmberg
No, I muscled through for a minute and. But I kept. I kept the stroke alive. Well, I just kind of. My head at the tv. Wait a minute. What am I doing? You know when you kind of realize you're looking at something you shouldn't be? My algorithm just changed.
Brett Holmberg
Oh, no.
John Holmberg
But I kept the thing going and I had my head turned like a cocker spaniel at a high noise. Wait a minute. That hot chick's got a wiener and she knows what to do with it. Then you click off, and now you're on a whole page of it. And all of it's magnificent.
Brady Bogan
Stayed there for three hours.
John Holmberg
Oh, man. I had to thumb through all of it to make. To get back to normal. There's a lot of weird stuff on the Internet. Internet. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady report. It's 98.
Dick Toledo
Hey, it's not weird.
Brady Bogan
It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this. Packages by expedia. You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights, hotels and hammocks for less.
Brady Bogan
Expedia.
John Holmberg
Made to travel.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Summary: June 2, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: June 2, 2025
1. Introduction to the Episode
In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg, alongside Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delves into a mix of intriguing and entertaining topics. The conversation seamlessly transitions between quirky anecdotes, wild facts, and humorous banter, ensuring listeners are both informed and entertained.
2. Extraordinary Spider Behavior
One of the standout discussions centers around the fascinating (and somewhat bizarre) mating behaviors of certain spider species.
Brady Bogan introduces the topic:
“Some species of male spiders tie up the female spiders before mating so the females don't eat them afterwards.”
(Timestamp: 10:56)
John Holmberg humorously elaborates:
“It's a little fight before bondage.”
(Timestamp: 11:08)
This segment highlights the unique evolutionary strategies spiders employ to ensure successful reproduction, sparking both curiosity and amusement among the hosts.
3. The Trend of Jalapeño-Infused Wine
Another engaging topic is the viral trend of adding jalapeños to white wine. The hosts dissect this unconventional combination, blending skepticism with humor.
Brady Bogan shares the trend:
“There's a trend going viral on TikTok. People are putting jalapeños in their white wine. Hillbillies and the experts are on board. They say it's quite good.”
(Timestamp: 16:51)
John Holmberg responds with skepticism:
“I don't see many wines. I'll guarantee you this. Take a bite of one and sip it. Pairs well. But if I was a sommelier...”
(Timestamp: 17:14)
The discussion transitions into nostalgic memories of a magical tortilla machine from Chevy's, intertwining past experiences with present trends.
4. Nostalgia for Chevy's Tortilla Machine
John reminisces about the enigmatic tortilla machine at Chevy's, blending it with the current jalapeño wine trend.
John Holmberg recalls:
“Don't make fun of that machine, because I've never seen anything more fascinating than the tortilla. It was just in the lobby, just sitting there.”
(Timestamp: 18:26)
Brady adds to the memory:
“It could only pump out so many. And then it broke, and they couldn't make more. That thing caught my attention every time I was there.”
(Timestamp: 19:04)
The hosts laugh over the peculiar functionality of the machine, highlighting how certain business gimmicks leave lasting impressions.
5. Lion Attack on Safari in Namibia
A gripping and tragic story unfolds as the hosts recount a lion attack that occurred during a safari trip.
Brady Bogan narrates the incident:
“A couple was on safari in Namibia. The businessman decided to go to the bathroom, got down the ladder, and a lion attacked him while he was dousing himself.”
(Timestamp: 26:52)
John Holmberg discusses the aftermath:
“And he’s dead, though. They’re gonna kill Charlie for eating that guy. It’s not her.”
(Timestamp: 27:46)
The conversation delves into the dangers of wildlife excursions and the unforeseen risks that come with intimate encounters with nature.
6. Sherpa Cammy Rita’s Mount Everest Feat
The hosts celebrate an extraordinary achievement by Sherpa Cammy Rita, who has summited Mount Everest an unprecedented 31 times.
Brady Bogan announces:
“Congratulations to the 55-year-old Sherpa Cammy Rita. He summited Mount Everest for the 31st time.”
(Timestamp: 32:33)
John Holmberg expresses awe:
“When you look at the numbers the sherpas put up... it's pretty awesome.”
(Timestamp: 33:01)
This segment underscores the remarkable endurance and dedication of Sherpas in the mountaineering community.
7. Bizarre Medical Emergencies
The episode takes a darkly humorous turn with discussions about unusual medical emergencies.
John Holmberg describes a surreal surgery:
“This guy's got 16 things in his mouth... a pickaxe, a wrench... He’s still awake. It’s a Mexican medicine right here.”
(Timestamp: 35:06)
Brady Bogan adds:
“He didn’t got it. Somebody shoved. That's cartel. That was shoved in his throat.”
(Timestamp: 36:10)
The hosts navigate the gruesome details with a blend of shock and humor, illustrating the unpredictable nature of medical mishaps.
8. Recurring Themes and Host Interactions
Throughout the episode, the camaraderie and playful interactions among the hosts add a layer of entertainment:
John Holmberg teases Brady about personal anecdotes:
“I watched him jerking off the other day. The kid won’t stop. I’m gonna end it...”
(Timestamp: 36:55)
Brady responds with good-natured ribbing:
“That’s it. You’re a fever dream today, Brett. Monday. I’m left with a lot of questions.”
(Timestamp: 40:57)
These exchanges showcase the show's dynamic atmosphere, making complex or dark topics more approachable through humor.
9. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts
As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the day's discussions, blending humor with genuine amazement at the stories shared.
John Holmberg muses:
“I have heard enough of this. It’s Monday, all right, but I’ve never seen...”
(Timestamp: 41:21)
Brady Bogan concludes:
“That is your Brady report. It's 98.”
(Timestamp: 43:33)
The episode concludes on a high note, leaving listeners intrigued and entertained by the eclectic mix of stories and discussions.
Notable Quotes:
“Some species of male spiders tie up the female spiders before mating so the females don't eat them afterwards.” — Brady Bogan (10:56)
“There’s a trend going viral on TikTok. People are putting jalapeños in their white wine...” — Brady Bogan (16:51)
“Don’t make fun of that machine, because I’ve never seen anything more fascinating than the tortilla.” — John Holmberg (18:26)
“A man went on safari, went to pee, and a lion killed him.” — Brady Bogan (26:52)
Conclusion
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends bizarre facts, personal anecdotes, and humorous storytelling. From the peculiar mating rituals of spiders to the tragic lion attack on a safari, the hosts navigate a wide array of topics with wit and charm. Nostalgic memories of Chevy's tortilla machine and celebrations of extraordinary achievements like Sherpa Cammy Rita’s Mount Everest summits add depth and variety to the conversation. The camaraderie among hosts ensures that even the most unusual stories are delivered in an engaging and entertaining manner, making this episode a memorable listen for both regular and new audiences.