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Brett
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?
Byron
The choice is simple Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.
Brett
Well, it sound M and P Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.
Byron
That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street and Indian School or online at M&P guns.com.
John Holmberg
It's John Holmer here from the Morning Sickness for Lifechangerloan.com A person I've gotten to know very well over the past 25 years messaged me the other day, said all right Holmberg, I have an appointment with Life Change Alone. Because of you. I got to see what this is about. Do you have any advice? And my advice is simple. If you've got good credit and you're responsible with money, let the gang at Life Change Alone talk to you about the situation. That's a better and more beneficial way of paying off my home. Most clients pay off their mortgage in around five years and save over $250,000. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com it stick to little for FanDuel.
Dick Toledo
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Brett
To let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley. This week, get up north to Desert Ridge to see comedy sets from Leo Gonzalez and Tempe at the improv. You've got Randy Feldface performing. Just google it. And you're gonna have to go see.
John Holmberg
For yourself on that one.
Brett
And downtown at stand up live, the very funny Gary Owen entertains you week. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Prestige.
John Holmberg
Billiards has everything you need for your game room, from top of the line pool tables to billiard balls and everything in between. This includes game room furniture, air hockey, dartboards, ping pong tables, arcade games and much more. Prestige Billiards is family owned and operated and is dedicated to providing the very best quality products and service. Prestige Billiards has five star ratings on Yelp and financing is available. Check them out@prestigebilliardsaz.com or in person at one of their three locations in Mesa, Scottsdale, and now Glendale. Prestige Billiards delivers statewide. And tell him John Holberg sent you been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brett
He's evil sitting right here.
John Holmberg
Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. A perfect Monday if you ask me right now. You know, I don't want this to go on for days and days and days, but we get this in the small doses. This is outstanding. It is 5. 45. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett. There's big Dick Toledo. This, it's the morning sickness. And off we go. It's ridiculous outside. Just ridiculous.
Brady
Good to put the hoodie back on.
John Holmberg
No, the hoodie's on. The weather in June. Come on. We don't get this. This is a nice reprieve. Oh.
Brett
American.
John Holmberg
There goes. And there it is. This is it. We get two or three days of this, calm her down, and then this is it. The ramp into the nightmare is about to begin. But this is a nice way to kick it off. So I love this. I was. I was enjoying every second of this. I was at the rental property last night when the rain break happened.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And I was. I have had. I've become like a Wayfair sweatshop. All I do is get a box, open it up, start building the thing. Got a chest of drawers, another little, you know, nightstand thing of building, building, building like crazy. But. And then I Went out into the. The area. I'm keeping all of the boxes that the stuff used to be.
Brady
Yeah, the bulk.
John Holmberg
Whole garage, the entire thing. And it's. Dude, we pack things in this world. A box inside a box inside another box. More Styrofoam than I know what to do with. An insane amount. So I'm like, I gotta break these boxes and I gotta get this done. Cause the neighbor actually said to me, so you gonna get these boxes out of the way here soon? Because they were sitting in the. It's a carport. I'm like, yeah, I'll get to that. Sometimes I have to pick up some of the Styrofoam if the wind blows in my yard. And he was down the road, like, all right, okay. And he goes, do you need to know? Or he said something about needing to know what day the recycling is. Like, recycle. You need to know that recycling day. And I thought he would tell me. He didn't. So I still don't know when the recycling. Actually, he just told me, get. Get on secret, get on schedule bits. It was essentially what he said. And so I started to break those boxes down. And I was enjoying the hell out of it. It was, like, humid, but I was some. Getting gummy. Four trips back and forth to. And I know construction guys will hate this. Anywhere that I could find that had a big dumpster, would just drop it in the dumpster. There's no addresses on it, so come find me, Mother. Sorry. Almost, Mother. There it is. Anyway, so I'm done, and I went back for, like, the third load. And I'm doing the bigger boxes and the cardboard that's hard to fold. And then I discovered something. In this neighborhood, we got us a Brady. And we got us a Brady. Oh, no, this makes you look like me. This guy, he lived a street up. And he's just walking along, and then I see him. And he needed Dr. Rick from those insurance commercials to come up. And everything he said seemed like he was messing with me. Like, this can't be real. You don't mean. This comes up. And he goes, yeah, how about this weather? Like, right off the bat, this is. Where are we going here Immediately. Name's Greg. Hi, Greg. How are you, John? I didn't tell him my name right off the bat. Because later he asked me, what was the name again? I told him Richard. Because that's who's on the mail still at that house. So if he ever goes through the. Because I think he goes through the mail. This guy, like, 70 he's what, you know him is there?
Brady
It sounds like a. It's like an older man, like an older guess.
John Holmberg
67, 65. Somewhere in that area. So pretty close to 70. But he just, he's just having a walk. I live up the way here. And he points to I don't care where. And I live. I walk by all. Every day. I've been noticing these boxes piling up and I'm thinking, Jesus, whoever's coming into this house sure isn't using movers. Just everything's brand spanking new. Like, yep, well, I'd help you out. And I'm like, here we go. And by the way, in between each sentence is about a 10 minute gap of me ignoring him and just continuing what I'm doing. Well, he stands and he's walking around the front yard. See you turf the whole yard. Is this. You're doing like, yeah, I've owned this place for a while. It's just the.
Brady
Is it from Bourbon County, Kentucky?
John Holmberg
I swear to God, if there was a rocking chair, he'd have gotten in it. And then he's like, guys, this you're doing out here. All this land. Looks good, Looks good. We turfed our yard as well. Like, I don't care. And on, on we go. And then. And I'm swampy and I'm still enjoying this. And I'm actually kind of getting a kick out of it. Puts his hands in his pockets and starts doing the tiptoe to heel, tiptoe to heel thing. And I'm like, this guy's not real. This is an AI.
Brady
He's not.
John Holmberg
He's an AI Annoying neighbor. So I just went inside for a little bit, stayed hung out. It's a heck of a jeep. You take this thing, you take this beauty out for a ride every once in a while. And I wanted to be. I wanted to start being a smartest. No, it's just for show. It's decorative. But I didn't. I'm like, yeah, I get out every once in a while. Yeah, I've never been myself. And I'm like, oh my God, we're aggressively getting in my car, aren't you? And. And then at the end, he goes, well, towards the end, he says, I'd help you out. And keep in mind, it's 8, 8:30, the rain has pretty much stopped, but it's super humid. I'd help you out with all this. She looks like you got a lot to do. And I'm like, I do. Well, I can't. I can't get too sweaty. I got a place to go.
Brady
Good.
John Holmberg
I'm like, you've got somewhere to go on Sunday at 8:30?
Brady
He's a busy man.
John Holmberg
Piece of. Get out of my driveway. Don't stand here and annoy me. I'd help you, but I can't get too sweaty because you know, I got appointments at 9p on a Sunday. No, you don't, you liar. Just say I'm not going to help. Continue talking about the weather. But I'm like, oh, I got a Brady. It was very friendly, very nice.
Brett
So is Brady. So there you go.
John Holmberg
Exactly. It's you. But if a. I don't know if you do it, but if a dude goes in while you're talking to him, that's your cue to walk away. That is not a hang around. And then he's, you know, everything he talked about, he touched the. The beauty. My jeep, this beauty. And he just touched it like, I know what you're talking. Get away from my stuff. So I got that dude floating around so. And eyeballing my stuff. He's been going by a lot, loves having that. I don't know how to handle those. I don't know how to handle those people. But he thinks my name is Richard, which will be even more fun because eventually I'm just gonna say you can call me Dick and I'm gonna call you the same. And it's hard because I'll call him Brady on steroids. Your people, Brady, are so kind. It's such a nice thing. You just don't want. I mean, you know, you don't want to be mean. He's not. He's not. He's not causing any trouble. He's just. Come on. Nobody wants to talk about.
Brady
That sounded little.
John Holmberg
Maybe you see nosy right off the bat.
Brett
If Brady's saying it's nosy, you know.
John Holmberg
Exactly. This is Brady 2.0. This is a different version. But you don't walk up to somebody who's clearly getting something done and start talking about the weather. It's just, it's that. That's why those commercials are so good as the people who just don't have that boundary. Just don't. But anyway seemed incredibly calm. So hopefully he doesn't know Anybody that knows that I'm on this thing.
Brady
Might have to go over there.
John Holmberg
Oh, you two would. There'd be a super collider of friendliness that would probably ignite into some sort of old friend. You know, I have a feeling that it would be like this, like Some sort of. It would be like OJ's door. It would be the U2 meeting. Would be the opening of portal to hell. Hey. Looks like our double kindness has created some sort of a strange vortex into the nethers. Sure does. Bet it's hot down there. What do you think the temperature is? Gotta be in the high hundreds. Should we. We introduced ourselves. I mean, it never hurts to make a new friend. All right, let's jump in the portal. What a neat thing. It has to. There's. There's just no reason for that kind of sweetness to continue. Anyway, so there he was just.
Brett
You should sell the house.
John Holmberg
Well, I'm not. Trust me, it's gonna be. Yeah, there'll be. There'll be a. It'll be a reckoning event.
Brett
Go through with sage and everything and, you know, art.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Richard is gonna do some fighting or.
Brady
It could stop him walking by. Just one. One statue. One lawn thing. That's pretty.
John Holmberg
An ornate fountain or something.
Brady
Sexually.
John Holmberg
Oh, you're saying put a dick statue.
Brady
Out there or something that might have, you know, the neighbor's like, oh, this.
John Holmberg
Is a. Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea at all. I think that makes a lot more than just him.
Brady
Notice that plaster finger? Yeah, like that one guy. Yeah, but you don't have a war going on.
John Holmberg
No, there's not. It was just. It was just. It's. He's. There's a kindness thing and then kindness that breaches the line and then goes into this weirdness. And you know what? I actually crossed my mind for a few seconds and I started laughing because my brain. I don't know why my brain did this, but while I'm busting up box, I'm kicking, like to break the tape on some of these really heavy box. So the corners I'll kick to get it to where it lays flat. So you break it. And by the way, to everyone out there, break down your boxes. There's nothing more annoying than trying to steal somebody else's dumpster and seeing full boxes in there. Yeah, it's just ruined. Yeah, you can do the knife, but some of them you just kick. So I kicked a couple of them while he's standing there talking about majeep and God knows whatever else. And I started thinking, my brain actually, as my partner said, just say right now, all right, karate time. And then just start doing like weird karate moves. See if he leaves. But I couldn't bring myself to do, you know, front yard karate for just a few minutes. Just, ah, just gotta need to do my karate and then get back to work just. Just to see what he'd say. But I'll hold that one for next time. So I still have a few to break down.
Brady
You're just gonna open up additional stories.
John Holmberg
That's. Well, that's. That would be fun. Is to set him up to have the, you know, the moment of. Or just tell him. I'm like, yeah, last time I did this, this is how I killed a man in Iraq. Did you serve? No. What were you doing there? Just killing a guy in Iraq.
Brady
You know, I used to work out with Don the Dragon.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I would love to. I would love to hear how he reacts to a guy just who went nuts for a second each time.
Brett
He just got out of prison.
John Holmberg
That's good stuff because then there's gonna.
Brett
Be a there goes the neighborhood type thing.
John Holmberg
And then killing a guy with karate would be what I'd say. And then I'd get in the front yard and just start doing karate.
Brett
I'm genuine. Just got out.
John Holmberg
That I don't know at all. So it would be just made up karate moves in the front yard. Just got out of the joint. I killed a man using my karate skills. That reminds me. It's karate time. Richard, you sure are good at the. The arts. Yeah, that's what the last victim said. Yeah, I do something.
Brett
That's why I was in for 20.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't have the guts to at this moment to start doing.
Brady
Put the best press up in the front yard.
John Holmberg
Put in an old prison yard with like. Like duct tape on the bench. Just homemade. Yeah. That's not bad. I'm not gonna be there enough to have it be a. Like if I see this guy again, it would. It's if I. Because I got more boxes to bust. Anyway.
Brett
Be like Craig's yard and Friday.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's an interesting thing, but. But the curiosity of anybody that has that gene to see somebody with boxes and they're like, they have got to. When I. I moved to. The worst it's ever been is that when I. The very first house I ever bought was with my. What who became my brother in law. We bought a place way out on Augusta Ranch when it was brand new and that's way east. And as we moved in, the moving vans and stuff were there. The neighbor just came over boom hour style from King of the Hill with a beer and just watched us move stuff in and out of the house. And same exact thing. I'd help you, but I got this back like all Right.
Brady
Didn't offer your beer?
John Holmberg
Well, no, he didn't bring over anything. And then so we're moving a couch in the front door, and the dude comes in, and I turned and I'm like, oh, hey. And he goes, yeah, just seeing what you got going on here. I'm like, all right. And I'm starting to get a little pissed now because now I'm like, well, what is he scouting? Is that what's going on? So later I, you know, get. I'm like, all right, we're gonna get working on some boxes and stuff.
Brady
All right.
John Holmberg
And he just stood in the front yard. His front yard. And then when I went back out to do some stuff, he comes meandering over again, and he says, you guys have an awful lot of stuff. I'm gonna get to fill a house. And I'm like, by the way, just get it out of the way. Because I was getting pissed. And this is my favorite phrase I ever said to another human being. Proximity does not make us friends. So there's real, no reason for you to be here at all. What? Just because you live there and I live here doesn't mean we're gonna interact a lot. Oh, yeah. And he just walked away. And I'm like, that sad is my proudest moment. I don't. It's not gonna be like I'm there. It's just. It was a little off putting. And he was nice. And again, the dude that was following me in my house, that's too far. If this dude would have followed me into the house, I'd have done some karate. I'd have finished him off like that fake guy I killed in Iraq. It was weird. It was an interesting thing, though. But there are people out there that. And again, the reason the Dr. Rick ads work for everyone. I don't know. If you watch those ads, you're like, what's wrong with talking to somebody through a bathroom door? You're getting the other side of that. I have to think to myself that all those, you know, talking to the guy with a dirt bike at the gas station and reason they don't call them clean bikes. If you're relating to that. Like, that has that those. That ad campaign relates to two different styles of human beings. The ones who get it as humans and the ones who don't. So I think there's probably some people that like the idea of stopping cars that go by your house to talk about the weather. I think it's great.
Brady
The lady walking the neighborhood, phenomenal.
John Holmberg
There he is. There he is. Yeah. And then the lady goes by and just go around. Go around when they're just talking at the car. It's like, the worst.
Brady
It's Marathon Man.
John Holmberg
The guy's just jogging. You have to say something, don't you? There are people, though, who look at that and go, yeah, it's funny. I relate to that. And they're all just insufferable. You're in a new neighborhood, Brett. Yeah. You're gonna get one. It's coming. Nobody's bothered you while you've been moving in?
Brett
No.
John Holmberg
Nothing at all?
Brett
No. Well, we're a little more spread out, too, so that's a good thing.
John Holmberg
Yeah. This one is.
Brett
Not as many walkers.
John Holmberg
And I hasten to tell people, like, what's going on. Like, you know, it's gonna be an Airbnb someday, and it's gonna have all this stuff, and.
Brett
Well, then they'll hate you. So that's good. Then they'll stop coming by.
John Holmberg
I wonder if they're gonna.
Brett
Yeah, that's what you do.
John Holmberg
Vomit or something. I should tell them that it's gonna be. We're gonna film porn here. Yes. That's a good one. I need to get these people up off my ass. And it's only been like.
Brady
That could be, like, I'm coming around more often.
John Holmberg
Well, I went right in the house and just stood there for, like, 10. He didn't. He wasn't going anywhere. I just want to get stuff done. I actually did start laughing at it because he was so kind of innocuous. It was just a harmless, old, older man. I say old. He looked like he was in good shape, though. I guess he walks every day, and it's more of a neighborhood watch than it is an exercise dork.
Brady
And then he's missing a beret. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Well. Yeah.
Brady
Guardian angel.
John Holmberg
Guardian angel. If you need anything, I'll always be here in my driveway. Great. Good. I'll look forward to that. And then yesterday, I was watching the. I've grown numb to. I like these group attacks and these mass weird things. Like, I see it on the news, and it's still always bad.
Brady
Flamethrower.
John Holmberg
This one got me. This is the. This is the first time I've ever watched and said. And I was gonna call Jay from. From React Defense and go, Flamethrower. We've never done that. Dude went into a crowd of people with a homemade flamethrower. I don't even know what that is.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And then Molotov cocktails, 52 through 80. Yeah. Torch some people, I didn't know that, that there's a charge that says something about, like causing harm to a person at risk. And all you have to be is 70 to be a person at risk because you're not running. Like, they know you're not gonna fly. Most 7 year olds aren't just gonna float out of there. But we shot that flamethrower here in the parking lot. And I never thought to myself, what's the defense for this? Because I don't know that there is one. I mean, that was. What were we shooting at, like 35, 40ft? Probably maybe a little closer than that. But I mean.
Brady
Yeah, that's probably about right.
John Holmberg
We were, we were playing around with that flamethrower. Pretty ridiculous. Like that street. And you can't just.
Brady
And even firing it, the heat that you feel when you're throwing the flame, incredible.
John Holmberg
But the thing about a gun is redirecting the barrel makes the, like, you can't. But you hit a flamethrower and you just created an s. A snake of flame. Because it like. And I started to watch it, I'm like, that's the first time I've ever watched one of these things where I got scared, you know, where I'm like, that, that's because I can. I. For some reason being shot's awful. I'm sure it sounds terrible, but being lit on fire, it horrifies me. It horrifies.
Brady
The only thing is getting out of the way.
John Holmberg
Just run from it. Scooch. But it's, it's, you know, it's, it's, it's strafing with fire. It doesn't, like, just, it's not singular lines.
Brady
You see some of those older movies where they show them going in, you know, bunkers, just hoses, just lighting them up. And those things are going like 40, 50ft.
John Holmberg
I'll be honest with you, I don't think I'd recognize a guy with a homemade flamethrower. I don't know what that looks like. It's a backpack and a stick. And I wouldn't even second guess it until it started to light people up. And then I guess you just attack the dude. It's up to the citizens who aren't in the way. But I mean, it's that, that one got me, like, I literally got chills. Like, I can read those stories and go, well, it's, it's, it's on tv, so it's not give. This one was in Boulder, Colorado, and people having a pro Israel rally and this dude Free Palestine. So he knew he was doing it. He planned it out. They gotta cook that dude. And then some. That's terrible. So remember when we found out flamethrowers were legal to buy for the average Joe? And a lot of them have them just for snow melt and weeds clear cutting? I didn't know that. I remember the day I said there, you can't sell people a flamethrower. And the guys over at mo Money Pond, like, we got one, we got a couple. I want us to bring them by. I'm like, yes. And we. They're awesome. There's nothing about them. If you're a sane person that is. It's awesome. Like, it's reach is cool. It's noise is neat. Were you shooting with us that day? Oh my.
Brett
We need to redo, apparently.
John Holmberg
Okay. You just got excited. Yeah. Yeah. That's not good. But yeah, fire scares me. That's. I'm like the.
Brady
Yeah, we even had church made.
John Holmberg
No, that's right. Yeah, I. I am. I'm scarecrowish because that one gave me chills. I had to turn it. It was like a Sarah McLaughlin dog ad. Morning sickness Medicate. It's.
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Brett
Hey, Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.
Byron
Yes, sir. Mmpguns.com has over 400,000 products for sale daily. Everything from firearms, ammunition, accessories, optics, clothing, decoys and more. The best part is if you see it on our website, it's in stock and ready to ship.
Brett
Wait, there's no backorders?
Byron
Nope. We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizonans anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.
Brett
Sounds simple. That's why I always go to MMP.
John Holmberg
Guns.Com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Like the second I saw flamethrower, I'm like, oh, I can't watch this. I, I gotta get off this channel. This is horrifying. It's terrible. So I'm gonna go up to react defense later today and let's work flamethrowers all we can, please. And then the other thing. Brady showed me this this morning. I didn't see this, but I've now read three articles about it. Remember when? A few weeks ago. And this is my problem with him. When we found out Biden had cancer and Trump tweeted out the very nice, you know, our thoughts are with the Biden family and hopefully, you know, this is no good and hopefully he's all right. Get treatment he needs and very presidential. Very presidential and very empathetic and caring. And I'm like, there you go. That's the guy we need. That's love or hate his policies. You need your president to occasionally be human. We'll give. A week and a half later he tweets out that he thinks Biden was executed in 2020 and has been replaced with clones and doubles and robotically engineered soulless Mindless entities. And what you are seeing, Democrats can't tell the difference. He. And you're like, all right, he's gone nuts. Then read on that in 2020, he thinks he was taken out and that they just had all these. My question to that would immediately be because I had the thought that he had doubles, and then I thought, all presidents probably have doubles. Why wouldn't they?
Brady
Yeah, we went in depth on that.
John Holmberg
Yeah, why wouldn't they? But if you're going to build a double, why build. You know, if. If Biden's. If Biden's been dead since 22, if Trump's right, and the scientists built that as the replacement, why, like a doddering old man that doesn't know where to go.
Brady
And yeah, you know, it wasn't that far of a reach to say there could have been a double. The appearances.
John Holmberg
Sure. There were a couple of shots I saw where I'm.
Brady
No speaking.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that Biden. 6 5.
Brett
That Biden was running marathon to the press that time.
John Holmberg
To the press from the helicopter that went into a full sprint across the lawn. I'm like, this guy can't talk and he's shuffling his feet. Now look at him. Why give him cancer? Just. He just died one day. Why. Why make some strange, curable cancer his thing? It doesn't make sense.
Brady
It's unmatched.
John Holmberg
And then you worry that Trump's on something.
Brett
He's playing him again.
John Holmberg
Look, is he?
Brady
Well, at first I'm laughing, but why?
Brett
Because this one does. This one's just a prick. That way he knows the media is going to run with it, but they shimmer there. I know.
John Holmberg
Like having as much.
Brady
I didn't hear much on any of the. I think because it's so ridiculous programs.
John Holmberg
But do you want a president that's that ridiculous? That's pretty ridiculous. Like, it's like that's making people who support him go, all right, stop that. Don't do that anymore. You might be effing with the media, but don't.
Brady
Like you said two weeks ago, perfectly different.
John Holmberg
Perfect. It was a perfect idea. And what, are you after him for it? What if. And if he is executed in 2020? You know, for somebody who gets so upset about baseless claims, you know, you can't really throw these stones at that house. I don't like baseless claims at all. Baseless fake news, by the way. Get your ears ready. Biden's a clone. They killed. They executed him 2020, execution style in the White House. I see the blood on the carpet I know exactly what happened. And then they built robotic AI drones of him. Clones and drones, I call it. And he's out there, he's doing his clone drone thing, and nobody can tell but me.
Brady
One of the White House aides also said over the weekend I saw. He's talking about the experience of working in the White House and basically pulling Biden out. He'd be in the closet, sure, Wandering around every day.
John Holmberg
That's because his. His servos had gone crazy. And he started to wander off like, if you were going to do that, like, all right, we executed Biden, but we're going to still run him. Okay, Bring in the clones. And like, this is our first prototype. Came to understand the goddamn thing. What's the real one? Working in the malls. Whatever's going on, that's what they replaced him with. Then if he's been dead since 2020, that's what we got to know.
Brady
The clones never talked. It was just being out events.
Brett
They got him out of the closet.
John Holmberg
Then who was talking? Who was doing all the speeches? Who was doing.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, the clone is just mumbling. Go get it.
Brady
It sounds like there's a speaker coming from his back.
John Holmberg
His mouth's not moving. No joke. Oh, somebody hit the note. What is he, Woody from Toy Story? You just pull a string.
Brett
It's like an old Godzilla movie. The lips are moving, different words come out.
John Holmberg
But if he's right, Like, I went over when I read the third article, and I'm like, if he's right, they had to execute him first and then say, we gotta replace him with get on it right now. Because they.
Brady
He stole this election. Yeah, we gotta.
John Holmberg
This could not be like, the plan. We're like, look, I've built some pretty realistic clones. Get rid of Biden. We can do this. And they're like, you know, And Joe's just like, don't kill me. What's going on? Don't worry about it. Your legend will live on, but we got to get rid of you. Hey. Then they bring out those kind of half hearted, doddering old men. And then they couldn't upgrade over the last four years. Tour got so bad, he couldn't run.
Brady
Kamala, we need you to stay cool for a couple of years.
John Holmberg
Yeah. This is insane. Like, that's the. Like, Trump said some stuff that's insane. And even if you're full crazy, right? Trump guy, like, you're like my lord and savior. He's doing it. All right, you have to sit back and shake your head a little bit at this as a little far. That's. That's one where you're like, you realize, sir, that that should have been just.
Brady
You don't really believe.
John Holmberg
And even if you're just like, jk, Hashtag getting. Why stop it? Almost positive. I know this for sure. That guy was Servo's AI robot. I'm like, build a good one, then. That's pretty cool. If we can do it to where we almost elected president. I think we've done great work with the robots.
Brady
Yeah. They had to work on them, though. It's like we're just not getting them good. And debates.
John Holmberg
Right now, he's just bad at debates. Otherwise, this is. We've.
Brett
This.
John Holmberg
We've aced this. He's not real good at walking in sand either, but that's because he weighs over a thousand pounds.
Brady
Yeah. The checklist. No bikes.
John Holmberg
No.
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
No biking. No. Like, we tried to put it on a bike, and it just fell right over.
Brady
So we can't do anything about the airplane stairs.
John Holmberg
There's nothing if you get the baby stairs, the little baby stairs for. Servo Joe is what I call him now. Servo Joe. He's all cyber. He's Cyber Joe. He's like the Terminator, only Terminator himself. And then the other side is just, what are you doing? The old man's gone. Do your job. Who cares about him? But his. His tweet is. There is no hashtag Joe Biden. Executed in 2020. Hashtag Biden clones, doubles. Robotic engineers. Soulless, mindless entities.
Brady
That's just stirring it up.
Brett
That's what I'm saying.
John Holmberg
Okay, but why?
Brett
Why not? Because he can.
John Holmberg
I know, but.
Brett
And he's got you talking about it.
John Holmberg
And TMZ and everybody else. It's true. Somebody's got to have a reasonable thought here to go, Mr. President. Why? Because all it is is okay, Then it stirs up, and then it makes him look stupid. He's not helping.
Brett
Don't care.
John Holmberg
I know, but he's not helping anything unless he's right.
Brett
Now you're going off the board.
John Holmberg
Well, I'm always. I'm always up. Living in the middle is easy because you're. It's like, I'm always up for like, oh, that's crazy. But what's the other side? He's right. But you gotta cut. You can't see to me. You can't shoot this out without going, guess what? I just found an oil can, and it said Joe on the side. And I started looking to it, and Joe needed to oil up before. Because he's mostly robotics. I'm looking into it. Hashtag Inspector Donald. Like, okay, cool. He's found some evidence, but just to say. And then throw out the date they killed him executed in 2020. I lost to robots. I never lost to Joe Biden. Never once. But I lost to his robot.
Brett
His robot, C3PO.
John Holmberg
He lost. Yeah, he lost a C3P Joe. And don't think he. When he. When the word of that gets Back to Trump. C3P Joe, it is. I love it.
Brett
I'm going to.
John Holmberg
That's it. I'm going to go with C3P Joe. Thank you. To Brett Vestley. Big supporter. Who gets it. He gets it. He's got Holmberg over there going, why? Why? Why not? Why not? Why not? Brett's right. Why not? Why not? If you're not with the world? Why? What. What are you doing? This one got me. Because Brady said, just. See the thing about Trump saying Biden's a robot. And I'm like, no. And he hands me a story. I'm like, this is a joke. And then I Googled it, and it's everywhere. What if he's right?
Brady
Would it surprise you.
John Holmberg
Yes. That they would build a clone that poor. If they built. Look, if I was here.
Brady
Yes. It would be. Build a clone that bad in 2020.
John Holmberg
That it failed them beyond. And it aged horribly in four years.
Brady
And what are they. You know, it's just to, you know, get more time to do something else.
John Holmberg
I don't know.
Brady
What's the strategy?
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't know. And everybody had to be on board that, like, none of you guys are ready to be president. And we just killed Biden. Why? Well, anyway, we built these robots.
Brady
We just don't have a person that we can bring up in the next four years.
John Holmberg
And there had to be a meeting.
Brady
The robots. The answer.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And I guess all we got to do is just really double down on our attacks at Trump to make the robot seem okay. Yeah.
Brady
That seems definitely protected.
John Holmberg
Sure.
Brady
Well protected.
John Holmberg
Sure.
Brady
From, you know, everything. Journalists.
John Holmberg
Sure. Because they. Because you're saying. Because they may have discovered he's a robot or a clone. Okay, Brett, you so quickly go, yeah, that's exactly it. And I sit back and my head starts to spin around like the Exorcist going, what world do I live in that someone just goes, yeah, that's why.
Brett
What world have you been living? I mean, this thing is all effed up all the way around.
Brady
And that story about the closet. He's in the Closet, because that's where.
John Holmberg
He'S charging because he's gay.
Brady
They plug him in there like he had.
John Holmberg
They had to plug him into the gay closet, and every once in a while he'd come out. That's exactly right, Britt. A gay clone Joe.
Brett
Him and Obama were having their meetings there.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's right. That's right. Obama was in there being super gay. Talk Joe into it.
Brady
He was actually one of the clones. In fact, he did the Mission impossible.
Brett
Hashtag, pull the mask off Big Mike.
John Holmberg
Just found this out. Just found this out. Gay Obama. The only way to charge clone Joe was to. As hard as he could. It's. He got bored. And somebody. He's on the toilet. I guarantee you he's on the toilet by himself. I'm going to tweet it. And he's. And that's when we get those things. Mr. President, while you were in the bathroom, someone hacked your account and said that we got to get him. No, that was me. Oh, God.
Brady
They dread.
John Holmberg
Oh, when he goes, I got to.
Brady
Go to the bathroom.
John Holmberg
Where's my phone? I have to poop. Where's my phone? No, sir, we've had this talk. I'm allowed to have a phone in the toilet. I'm the goddamn leader of the free world. Don't tweet anything. Don't tell me not to. You know what? I got an idea. I'm pretty sure Sleepy Joe's a clone. And just. And again, if you're gonna go to the lengths of making him a robot or an AI design, make a good AI. Like, that's.
Brady
Baron has to go by and go, dad, come on.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Baron way up there. What are you saying? I can't hear you. Cloud looks like a pony. That cloud looks like a pony. Look at next to Barrett's head. I again build a better clone. I wouldn't buy that if I was at, like, Toys R Us. Yeah, and look at this. They built like a bad robot. Joe Biden. All right, I don't want it until they make him. Right? I'm not getting first generation. It's just crazy.
Brett
He's like a Teddy Ruxpin.
John Holmberg
See, as soon as they realized that Trump knew he was a robot, they tried to shoot him. Okay, don't, Please, please don't. Don't be logical about. Don't start down those roads. Everybody has to sit back and at least go with Brett's philosophy that he's just being goofy. Yeah, but again, I don't necessarily. Like, there's a lot going on. You don't need that. You don't get a dude with a homemade flamethrower running into these Jewish, pro Jewish rallies and he's sitting there saying that Biden is a robot.
Brady
I mean, I can see, you know, he's doing a lot of high intensity meetings with dignitaries and leaders of other countries and you need to blow off some steam.
John Holmberg
Sure. By just making something insane up.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Which is what an insane person would do. It's like, I'm bored.
Brady
It's, it's, you know, he doesn't work out. He doesn't hit the treadmill or anything. He tweets.
John Holmberg
Yeah. His thumbs are strong. Remember when they'd interviewed Charles Manson and for a second he'd make sense. Like there was always a moment when he's like, you know, the proletariat and the, the bourgeoisie. I'm like, oh, here we go. And then he'd say something about the government and the control and it's like, you know, he never really killed anybody. And then he'd be like, it's because they got robotic leeches and cockroaches living in there telling every. And they're communicating through these birds aren't real. You're like, oh, yeah, I forgot who I was listening to. He's nuts. Nevermind. It kind of negates everything you do that's good when you say something this ridiculous. But Brett's right. The Democrats sat in a room one day and said, we've got this thing here. Now that Biden's been killed, you want to, you want to roll out the robot. And all of them said, yeah. And Brett was like, yeah, yeah, call George Lucas. Yeah. And George Lucas would have to be in it. Whoever's building the robot. I mean, there's so many people in on that, John. I know Elon Musk. So he's going to get involved in this. Elon told me that it's. We're capable of building a doddering old man. We, we claimed for years and years had dementia and then say that it's some sort of superhuman robot.
Brett
If anyone could do it, it could be Elon, though. I know, but why is wrong side, though?
John Holmberg
Why build one with dementia?
Brett
Gotta make it real.
John Holmberg
I hate talking to you about this. Make it realistic, because that is a good answer. But it's just pointless to say, well, because you want to make it like people, people already knew he was gonna have it, so they, they actually made the robot have dementia.
Brady
It's more believable if it's like they had these doubles that would make appearances where they didn't have to.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, I'm a double. I'm all on board. Doubles.
Brett
Well, yeah, because that one guy was not. That was not Biden.
John Holmberg
There's no 7 foot Biden. And running Biden were like, those are doubles.
Brett
As he was coked up like crazy running marathons to the press.
John Holmberg
Good chance. But that way, like, watch him walk in the sand on that one thing. It's hilarious. And it won't end. Nobody, like. And then, you know, you can't go from two weeks ago saying that Dr. Jill should get thrown in jail for elder abuse and. And then go, but it's a super robot built by our best scientists. I'm worried about our scientists. It's the best we could do. It's got pretty severe dementia. It doesn't make a lot of sense.
Brett
They're working on it.
John Holmberg
Roll it out.
Brady
Amazing how.
John Holmberg
Roll it out there. God damn it.
Brett
They should have called Boston, whatever that place is back there to build those robots. They could have built a better one.
John Holmberg
Sir, I have to tell you, we've been working really hard.
Brady
That was Commander.
Brett
Yeah, that's true.
John Holmberg
We can get it up to, like, the third stage of dementia, and it's not better than that. Do it. We've got to beat Trump with something. And none of these humanoids are any good at anything.
Brady
We got a problem. What? We can't get him out of the closet.
John Holmberg
His feet are vacuums, which seems unnecessary, but that's why he shuffles.
Brett
Obama would get him out of the closet now.
John Holmberg
We're gonna. I'll get him out of there. Trust me. I've been. I spent a lot of time in there. Big Mike. Yeah. Follow me into the closet. Let's Eiffel Tower the robot. What's going on? Oh, I'm getting chopped. Charged. That's right. Hit him hard, Big Mike. Anyway, our world is nuts. And I prefer a president that occasionally just says, hey, man, I hope you get better. I know we're enemies, but I hope you get better. That was classy. This is nuts. Hey, Bill Miller's a robot. Remember to. Come on. It's no joke. No joke. You can't debate it. Can barely talk. Talking. It's the best our scientists have to offer. I've seen the robots that deliver packages. I'm like, I'd vote for that thing before. Like, we didn't noticed. We just saw an old man who's slipping into.
Brady
The robot was definitely low on batteries on the View a couple weeks ago.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. He just Shut down now and again. And that's. Remember that African celebration where everybody was dancing but Joe and the robot? He was low power. He was low power. He was conserving. It's like when your phone goes to low power.
Brady
Stand by.
John Holmberg
A little less bright. The screen kind of dims a little. Anyway, I'm telling you, you're gonna be. You're gonna. I've been right a lot. Yeah. Somebody. Somebody put a flame on it, and then it's just Silver Joe at the end. Like the end of Terminator 2. You'll see as I drop him into that vat of fire and his little thumb goes up. We gotta get rid of Robot Joe. C3P Joe. As Brett said, Sleepy3P. Well, that's tough to do. Sleepy3C3P Joe. Wow. I can't. Very hard. I'm just gonna call him the robot. It's nuts. So count on that being a story that dies slowly. But, man, it probably shouldn't. But I like Brett's answer. You were the most succinct this morning. When I put the scenario out that they said, we've got a robot. Should we roll it out?
Brett
Yeah, why not?
John Holmberg
Why not? That's exactly what happened. Should I say it, Brett? Considering. Sure. Why? I mean, what's the harm f. With him? I'm gonna say he's a robot. That's a. And me say that he was murdered in 2020. That's. You think I should. You think I should probably follow? Yeah, why wouldn't you? I mean, that seems fun to me. I don't even see backlash. What's the downside? You're right, Brett. There is no downside to this.
Brady
It's really good.
John Holmberg
Brett and I have great ideas together. Maybe I should say he was executed by a pack of wolves or chopped up by a little plane or something. Yeah, whatever you want. Just go nuts. I really like you as my 2 JD always has those I'm not so sure moments. You, sir.
Brady
The day I see Trump coming out in a suicidal Tennessee T shirt, it's on.
John Holmberg
This is my friend, Brett Vesley. He's always up for a game. He's the one that talked me into the whole we killed Biden in 2020 robot thing. Anyway, said, Holy crap, Trump's right. First email. Oh, God. So remember how early on Biden's presidency, his dog was biting everybody's Because Commander knew that Biden wasn't the real Biden. He was acting out.
Brett
See, There you go.
John Holmberg
C3. Sleepy Joe. Good Christ. Don't run. But if it is true. And I don't want to hear from you what I told you. I told you so. Oh, God. Anyway, what are you gonna do? Let's get a wake up song, shall we? This is a perfect, the perfect day yesterday. Perfect start to today. Just enjoy it because it's not gonna last. This is amazing stuff and I love every second.
Brett
It's 108 next week.
John Holmberg
I know. We know. We know that's happening. But I, I mean, 111 years since it's rained on June 1st in this city. That's a fact. Like it has not been any rain for 111 years on June 1st until yesterday. That's an incredible statistic that matched only by the fact that the Dodgers have never had a rain out in July. It's the weirdest stat in the world. It's just strange. But yeah, that one got me. So we got that. We got a gift yesterday. And don't be dicks about it because the roads are wet and you're gonna. It's so nice out, windows down. It's perfect. Give us a wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. Oh, and if you're a robot, stay inside because you'll rust. It's 98 KBD. Wake up. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
Brady
No membership fees.
John Holmberg
I've heard enough of this.
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John Holmberg
Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brett
He's evil sitting right here.
John Holmberg
Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98, thank you quite kindly. They're miles to nowhere. Katie and Hobbs getting us started here on a Monday. And the sun's decided to show back up again. We knew you would be back, you son of a bitch. But thanks for the break. Beautiful. A lot of people kind of just letting this hole. You know what I do, I sort of both like and hate is how people just dismiss the crazy now. Like we've done a good job of just saying it's just what it is. In a weird way. Somebody emailed and said, john, come on, Trump's just here for the jokes. I'm like, no, no, no, that's me. That's what I say, that I'm here for the jokes. I'm not. Trump shouldn't be here just for the jokes. That shouldn't be something. We're like, that's great.
Brett
Be thankful.
John Holmberg
No, I'm here just for the last. I can't control anything. I don't want to get too high or too low about any decision some politician makes. It's. It's. It's out of my control. It nothing I can do. I don't get angry at Brady for thinking one way just because the two of us just shouted each other and end up making each other mad. And in the end, nothing's different. Whatever it is, it is. So I kind of do like that. But also some of it needs to be stopped. Like immediately. This. The guy says, come on, Josh. My suggestion for the Wake up song today is my name is mud. For all of John's hatred towards people, the Renter, the people that don't break down boxes, Biden's doubles and clones, sure, maybe they deserve a kiss upside the head with a baseball bat, but come on, John, you gotta let people live. And I do. I've never hit anybody in the head with a baseball on purpose. It's very important. Yeah, the. The Trump thing. There's a few people that have emailed in that are. That are on board, aren't necessarily off board. I know it sounds crazy, but just hear me out. That's. I. That's when you know you're crazy. You know you're crazy when you type out or say, I know this is nuts, but hear me out. And in a weird way, because I am here for the jokes. I hope he's right. I think it would be hilarious. We found out for the last five years after a weird execution that nobody even looked into, a bunch of people got together and said, build a. Build a Biden. Build a Biden would be a great start. I'd go to build a Biden if that was in the mall. You build little stuff Bidens.
Brady
We find the actual Joe Biden in the garage in the green Corvette.
John Holmberg
He's in the My Vet for less. What happened? What happened? All right, sir, it's safe to wander around now. Yeah. All right. How's the deal says. This one says, I've got 11 years sober. Congratulations, Nicholas. Last week, time travel. This week, fake AI President, robots. Both times. Listening to you three boobs talk about these subjects. All I want to do is down booze until I can understand the topic you're talking about. Hey, nobody told you to quit drinking. It's a better world when you do. I'll say that you just couldn't control yourself. That's for. For sure. I'm. Look, we. I don't think any of us tried to explain how AI robots are built. Just. I just know that if one was built before, I roll it out to the public It's a little better than that. I mean that thing or.
Brady
That's an amazing design to be able to design something like that.
John Holmberg
Hopeless. Yeah.
Brady
To play.
John Holmberg
To go to continually, like default. Well, it doesn't get better. Realistic role.
Brady
It's not devolving. It's basically.
John Holmberg
Then what's the point of it?
Brady
There's no point. I'm just saying you have to design a robot to do that. You want it to act a certain way.
John Holmberg
Right. But for the next four years you designed a robot because the last guy wasn't. The last guy wasn't good enough. You decided to build an exact clone of what was probably going to happen to him anyway.
Brady
Yeah, it doesn't make sense. But they had to design that robot.
John Holmberg
I mean, there, you stop right there and it doesn't make sense. And then let's just stop. But they had to design.
Brady
That makes sense why you would design it that way.
John Holmberg
Right? That's my point. Like, if you're like, dude, you're not. You'd be blown away at this. This robot we built, people won't know it. Still do all the Biden isms. But it's going to get stuff done and we can roll it out anywhere. It never makes mistakes. And life, liberty, pursuit. You know, the thing, the robots. It's riffing again anyway and a few.
Brady
Of you worry me stamping for signatures.
John Holmberg
Well, they did have the auto pen. See, again, I look, I think it's insane. I. The door is cracked for the possibility because I enjoy that. And more so cracked for the possibility because I'd find it hysterical if Trump is right and he breaks out like a big board. Like he did the tariff thing. Liberation Day. Now it's Truth about Joe Day. And he's got a big board of evidence that Joe was. Here's his dead body.
Brady
He's got the blueprints like an Iron man where they show the whole developing.
John Holmberg
The suit and it always ends up going back to a Marvel movie because none of it's real. Then they wrapped him in cloth and they threw him down there with Osama. Then they threw at the robot. So strange. I just. Yeah, I don't get it. This guy says, johnny, I've always enjoyed the little radio magic tricks you do. Makes me appreciate the dedication to your craft. Making the crumbling the paper sound after you read an email. Took me this long to realize, wait a minute, there's no paper in an email if I'm John or if I'm wrong John. And you print out these emails just to read and Crumble them up on the air. You're even better than I thought. Always enjoy the show. Hope you guys keep it up for long. Yeah, I'm always crumpling papers because, yeah, we print them out. Paper crumpling, sound effects. That's insanity. We print everything. This guy. And then, you know, and then we go back to that flamethrower thing. The flamethrower things got me, me. Like, I'm. I'm not gonna. Like, there's no. My little peef. Last week is a whole lot less scary than a flamethrower. And now, you know, and some people are like, oh, it wasn't a flamethrower. It was a spray bottle with alcohol and fire, which is sort of a makeshift.
Brady
Which is the homemade one that they're talking about.
John Holmberg
But I mean, what kind of spray bottle? Like a ketchup bottle that you can shoot, you know, or like 15ft.
Brady
Bug spray thing that has some action.
John Holmberg
Sure. But if I took one of those ketchup or mustard bottles, that's, you know, you can shoot those pretty good distance. I'm giving ideas out, and then filled it with alcohol or gasoline and then had a torch, and I just hit the torch with that and it shot back. The only thing you'd worry about is it coming back on you, you know, blowing up the bottle in your hand. But, man, that's. That fire is horrifying. Everybody talked about banning guns, and we're going to get rid of guns and, well, you know, we'll have assault rifles that go away. Fire. You can't ban. Cannot ever be banned. It's already banned. Like, don't light one. Okay. But, you know, it's. Guns are technically banned to use on each other. We passed the law to say, don't use these on each other. Like, you got it. And we, you know, people still do. So no matter what kind of laws you pass. Fires one that you could never. There's nothing you can do about. You can't uninvented it. You can't stop making it. You can't stop making stuff that pushes it forward. Like there's nothing you can do. And that's. That's. I'm. Look, I don't want to start off a Monday saying that this is the helpless thing, but if bad dudes start going with fire, you're gonna wish that they built bigger guns for all of us, because I don't know how to stop that otherwise. And this guy said, you know. And, you know, you can ban flamethrowers. I don't know that. That I'm for banning much of anything because so far we're o for society on flamethrowers being used in for evil. I mean, aren't we. I don't.
Brady
It's a new tik tok trend.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't remember a lot of flamethrower usage at all to where people are like, we got to not give these to. I think pretty much flamethrowers have been, you know, kind of quiet for the most part. First look, I just found out a couple years ago you could buy one. I assumed they were on a list of like, don't give these to the general population. Like, they'll. They'll abuse. And we haven't been pretty good about it, I guess. I mean, maybe people with flamethrowers get away with stuff all the time.
Brady
What's up next?
John Holmberg
Blow guns, blow darts and things like that. She's. Don't. Oh, man, don't. That dude would kind of be easy to stop, though. Although it would be.
Brady
Yeah. He's only so many deadly quiet.
John Holmberg
You'd have to get like seven or eight people to fall down and look at what happened, what's going on. And then another guy drops like somebody's shooting blow darts at us. And by the time you realize what's going on, you got six or seven down. Which has always been my argument against gun control. I. I remember watching Pierce Morgan talking about banning guns. You gotta ban the AR15. You ban all of the assault rifles and all of the rifles that make people think that they're just invincible gods. And I'm like, well, a 9 millimeter isn't in that, right? Well, the body count, that's. That's the problem. The body count with an AR15 is a lot higher. Okay. So if we have a mass shooting with a nine millimeter and there's only four dead people, we're going to celebrate. At least it wasn't an Air 15. He could have gotten nine. So it's.
Brett
Yeah.
John Holmberg
The point being is that you cut the body count. You were essentially arguing that what a great idea to not give him a gun that'll kill like 10 people. Only four or five. So would we celebrate that or would we just kind of. Matt. Big deal for like, if somebody went in with two nights, what is that? And a 36 shots on that, Right?
Brett
Depending on the gun.
John Holmberg
Just basic.
Brett
Yeah. No.
Brady
Yeah, but, you know, I mean.
John Holmberg
But you're saying it's 19 and 19, isn't it?
Brett
No.
John Holmberg
What is it?
Brett
12 depending, depending on the nine it could be anywhere from 20 to, you know, 10. 10 in each.
John Holmberg
But just.
Brett
Or you can do. Or you can get. You can get 50 round sticks. No extensions.
John Holmberg
No extensions. Just a regular. I go to the thing and buy 10 each.
Brett
20.
John Holmberg
Okay, so you get 20 sh.
Brett
Them in the kneecaps, just like buy.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, that was a robot.
Brett
Oh, that's right.
John Holmberg
You showed them the ACAPs where their hearts are. So yeah. So you get 20 shots off. If you're good, you got eight down. But at least it wasn't an assault or. That was my argument against the gun control. You have to ban all of them or none of them. That just, that adds up. Fire. Forget it.
Brady
I see what they're saying. That it's like, you know, if you have that out of the equation, then what. It's not a celebration. But anytime you can save lives. But what are you saving lives or whatever.
John Holmberg
I mean, you're assuming saved lives.
Brady
Yeah. You can do more damage.
John Holmberg
You're assuming saved lives. That's it. And that's what. And so that's your celebration. We'll get rid of the really bad ones and we'll. We'll assume.
Brady
Yeah, if you're not going to get rid of the guns.
John Holmberg
Yeah. When only a 9 millimeter kills 6 or 7. Well, it could have been worse. I mean that's. That was what our plan was, what they're saying.
Brady
Not could have. It is worse.
John Holmberg
You don't know that. There's been attacks that are bad. If a guy with really good shot with the two 9 millimeters and he's coming out of the military and he's surprising people, he takes down 20 with. He goes 20 for 20s. Hall of Fame. I just think anybody with bad intentions, no matter what the thing is, Banning is ban everything fire, right.
Brady
That's the only way you need.
John Holmberg
You ban it all. You can't ban fire.
Brett
Ban knives too, of course.
John Holmberg
I mean, you know, anything that could be used bad. You can't ban fire cars. You can stop manufacturing all those things. Fire is can't done. It's horrifying to me. Scares me to death because this dude got some gasoline and something that squirts gasoline in his hand, whether it's a, you know, a ketchup bottle or something that you can just squeeze and push and then put it up against and made. Made hell in a second and would go through any metal detector. I mean, that's what scares. I've said that to people and look, I'm gonna go nuts here for a second. So Bear with me. At sporting events. You're getting right in.
Brady
Talking about.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you're getting right in with a pack of matches and a.
Brady
And a. Oh, no, they good.
John Holmberg
Plea.
Brady
You can get them in.
John Holmberg
You're getting in. I have. I have been.
Brady
It's funny you say that guys.
John Holmberg
I get right through.
Brady
Was talking about he went to the Dodgers game and he had a pack of cigarettes. And like you, this is a non smoking facility. Can't have it.
John Holmberg
But he probably showed it, came in.
Brady
And then they saw his lighter. Sorry, can't take the light.
John Holmberg
If they see it, right? If they don't, there's no detecting it. I mean, I go through the metal detectors with my keys. Yeah.
Brady
They're not.
John Holmberg
There's. I have. I have metal all through my body. I've never set one off.
Brady
You go in with a hundred Ohio blue tips.
John Holmberg
You could go in there, the box of matches, and in your. In your pants, a ketchup bottle full of gasoline.
Brady
Clean.
John Holmberg
And nothing's getting set off. And you walk right in. Does anybody ever pat you down going to a Diamondbacks game? Sun's game. No, they want to get that line cooking.
Brett
They go through the metal detector, right?
John Holmberg
And what my matches are wood. And the thing I'm carrying is plastic. And gasoline ain't gonna set that off. Easy peasy. And then the next thing you know, you just spray down the whole row in front of you like, what the hell's this guy doing? One match. Good morning this morning. How's it going? That's fire. Scares me to death.
Brady
You feel safe now?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Enjoy your day, everybody. But when I saw that yesterday and the dude's like, yeah, we'll just go with this. I mean, it is a horrible feeling to think, you know. And I. And I understand your argument. Gun people. Don't get mad at me. I understand your argument is saying we got to get rid of this and that, but I'm just. I'm saying if you get rid of the thing that most offends you, the next one in line is the most dangerous thing. So you just took away the big one. Guess what? There's something there that's next. Acid with bad. Acid with bad intentions. It doesn't matter what crazy has in his hands.
Brett
It's like you said, you can't put the toothpaste, toothpaste back in the tube. And that goes from everything to weapons to even AI Now.
John Holmberg
Exactly.
Brett
Which is going to get out of control.
John Holmberg
You're right.
Brett
So.
John Holmberg
Well, it already has. You know that our president for the Last four years was one.
Brett
I understand that.
John Holmberg
John. You're starting to sound a little like Dale. Fire bad. Yeah, that's true. I do have a little Frankenstein in me. And this guy's. Yeah. I played a golf tournament a few weeks ago. The main winning gift was a flamethrower. Nice.
Brady
I gotta get in that tournament.
John Holmberg
I still want one. I'm not gonna lie. I'm just. Because I'm a decent human being, I'm not gonna use it against others.
Brady
It's one of those things you end up getting. You do it once or twice. Yeah, I haven't had. I haven't pulled out for three years.
John Holmberg
Well, I have no, like, real look. I got a lot of turf in my backyard, thanks to turf monsters. It's awesome. But I mean, if I start flame throwing the weeds, I'm gonna have glop of plastic for yard. I don't think it's a good idea for me to flame throw anything. And plus, I'm not wildly responsible. If I've got a flamethrower, I'm gonna be doing my. What I'm supposed to do. And then I'm gonna see, like. I wonder if that would. I wonder if the mailbox goes up, up, and I'd hit it.
Brett
You're gonna keep going.
John Holmberg
You're gonna. Yeah, you're gonna. You're gonna get comfortable with it.
Brady
It's not a good combo with the Arizona summer coming up.
John Holmberg
I don't think it's a good.
Brett
Yeah, I just got a flamethrower.
John Holmberg
This guy. Desert's no big deal. It's not gonna light on fire. Yeah, it is. It's just weird. So, you know. Yeah. Do I have. Do I have a little paranoia about that? I think I do. All that stuff we do at react defense and all that training, I mean, that's one. It's bad stuff's just gonna happen. You just. You have to eventually just take that dude out. Like, if it's just a group of people and somebody comes in with a flamethrower, you're gonna run at him. That's the only way through it, like, because otherwise he's just gonna keep coming. And he was.
Brady
When it hits, is it the. You know, is it like flaming liquid that's hitting you?
John Holmberg
It's. You saw it. It was gasoline. You could see it in the air.
Brett
Flame. It's not. It's not like the. The liquid isn't hitting you. It's just the flame when we were shooting.
John Holmberg
It's not liquid. It's already on fire.
Brett
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
John Holmberg
When we were shooting it at that mannequin, it hit the clothes. The clothes went up immediately.
Brett
Yeah, it's just a flame.
John Holmberg
Yeah, intensely. It's just. But you see in the air, the propellant.
Brett
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
I mean, you see what's there. It's not just fire. It's like the stuff and it drips the whole time because it's just shooting out that goo. Yeah, No, I mean, that's really like the only defense for that is to just turn and see the guy shooting and run at him and knock him down. That's it. And good luck getting enough people that want to do that job. Yikes. Anyway. But yeah, ban one thing, the next thing's gonna be just as bad. And again, cars. You can drive a car through a crowd and do more damage than a gun. I guarantee you that. I've said that every time. Time that farmer's market gets a haywire.
Brady
That one last week in the.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Brady
In the UK, you start 45 people.
John Holmberg
And I think that guy was just celebrating. Like, I think he just lost his mind being happy.
Brady
I think it was an old and then dude out of his mind.
John Holmberg
Maybe I go up to that. That farmer's market. I don't go there anymore. But the Bethany and Central, it's just a sea of humanity and there's just. And it's in a parking lot. There's roads to it. It. If somebody wanted somebody bad intentions, want to do some damage, there's 100 people in a minute. You don't need a gun. Awful. So. And more importantly, anybody who's too excited about freeing Palestine, keep your eye on them. That's all I'm saying. I know you can have your views on politics one way or the other, but if there's a dude in your office, it's way too loud about the Palestinian thing. Keep your eye on that guy. They're a reactionary organization. And the people who are really like for them tend to be reactionary as well. I don't trust it. Yeah, I like the people who might think, yeah, that's a pretty bad situation. Somebody should probably try to stop what's going on over there. I have no idea how it works. I'm just gonna watch more ID channel and sports.
Brady
Flamethrower thing will work. It'll fix, right?
John Holmberg
I'm not thinking. Yeah, well, he doesn't care. He just wanted to drop a few people that thought differently than him. Yeah, I just. Dude, it's. That's weird. That flame Thing's awful. So people emailing me about this. So you're telling me the Biden robot design team thought it would be a good idea to program their robot to grope and sniff girls Heads. Heads. Well, yeah. They had to keep it real. There you go.
Brett
I keep saying that.
John Holmberg
They gotta do that, right? I mean, you have to be like, what does he do? That's weird. That'll make people not question the robot. He does smell women's heads a lot.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Program. Program that in there.
Brett
Smells like a cherry and mint Chia falling upstairs. Falling off bikes.
John Holmberg
Program that stuff. Get him. It wouldn't have been great if he'd have gotten on the bike and the bike just crushed to the ground from the immense weight of Robot Joe. Ah, Spikes. Don't worry about me being fake. This is a. It's malfunctioning. It's no joke. Spikes made a paper. Yeah, that's exactly right.
Brett
Action Ride Shop.
John Holmberg
I gotta get this thing fixed. How do you get one of them bikes can handle me like the beast. Yeah, I, I. And then one somebody suggested. I've got a flamethrower. You keep talking about all that cardboard you're trying to get rid of. See, I'd light a house on fire if I tried that. I don't know where to do it. Where do you take the cardboard that you want to get rid of? Light it on fire without causing a massive problem.
Brady
Remember when you did your Christmas tree?
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. That was just a foot of it. I chopped my Christmas tree down and I put it in this outdoor fireplace. Nearly lit the neighbor's house on fire. I've never seen bigger flames come out of a chimney in my life. It was. I got scared immediately and just took a bucket of pool water and tried to put the tree out. And it was a. It was the top of the tree. It might have been a foot and a half. And it went into a. Outdoor chiminea. And it looked like a jet engine. The funnel that was coming out of the top of that chimney.
Brett
Kurt Wesley tried that once too. In the house, though. Fireplace.
John Holmberg
What? Yeah, he tried to burn the crash.
Brett
It looked like the steel mills of Bethlehem steel when that. When he was going. It was ridiculous.
John Holmberg
Molten.
Brett
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Just. Did he try to do, I'm keeping my cool, dad, or did he lose?
Brett
He tried to keep his cool at first, till my mom started screaming at.
John Holmberg
Course he was right, you dumb son of a. All right. Jesus Christ.
Brett
I didn't know.
John Holmberg
Did he hack it up? Oh, yeah.
Brett
He had his hat there and yeah. He was going to town.
John Holmberg
The worst part of mine was, it was like March.
Brett
Oh.
John Holmberg
Because I'd left my tree on the side of the house. I'm like, I missed the pickup.
Brett
Oh, no, no. Ours was so hot. Still a little dry, but it's still a little wet too. It wasn't bad.
John Holmberg
Was right after Christmas Tinder. It was. Oh, And I chopped the top off. I'm like, this will go up and it'll be done in a second.
Brett
It went up.
John Holmberg
Oh, did it ever. I've never seen. I've never seen. I've never heard something blow up before just from a match. That wasn't gasoline or anything. It was just sitting there. And I put the match.
Brady
Flash powder.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh. And then a flash paper. It's a 13 foot chimney and there must have been 5ft of flames coming out of it and just embers floating all over the place. And I'm looking and they're just going right towards the neighbor's house. And I'm like, there's nothing to do about this now. This is going to burn that guy's house down. It was over. You could see each one of those little pine needles floating through the air on fire. Bye. We're free. And I'm like, oh, my God. The neighbor's house. And it was March, so it was pretty nice outside and dry. And it just. They were just cruising around the neighborhood. Oh, scared to death.
Brady
That's why you realize, man, those, you know, up in Flag or some of.
John Holmberg
Those fires, all those forest fires and stuff gets dry. It's immediate and it's explosive. Yeah. Mine was about a foot, maybe a foot and four inches of Christmas tree. And it was a good sized top of the tree, but plopped it up there and just smiling. Happy as can be. I'm the smartest guy in the world. Why didn't I think of this earlier? I'm gonna imagine if I'd have started with the lower end of the tree or the big. The base.
Brady
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
I'd still be. I'd.
Brady
I'd still be 15 minutes of terror.
John Holmberg
Still be on fire. Idiot. Fire horrifies me. That's the scariest thing. Because you can live. I think it's almost worse. You go like 90% then walk out of there going, yeah, I guess they're gonna start all over. Over. Ever burn yourself like a. A good burn on.
Brett
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, imagine that all over your body.
Brett
That blister motorcycle.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Just cooks you. And then it's days of agony. Yes. No, thanks. Keep that to yourselves, nut bags. Also, I'm getting a lot of emails about the 60 Minutes last night that showed the interview with Dua Du Lipa. And I saw it when it originally aired and a guy said that he got in trouble with his wife because it was even on mute. And he was like a foot from the TV just staring. And I'm like, it happens. Like she'll do that. Don't mess around with that. Dua Lipa especially. Start getting confused inside your house with the tv. It looks like she's there. We used to say that about radio all the time. People get a little too comfortable when they meet us because we're in their car every day. We don't realize it. We're sitting with them. We're part of their drive to work.
Brady
I know you.
John Holmberg
They start getting to know you without knowing you. That Dua Lipa gets me sometimes. Where? I. I remember when that interview first aired, I started to answer questions back.
Brett
That's not a new one.
John Holmberg
No. Oh, Anderson Cooper did that. It was. And they just chatted with her and stuff. And it's dangerous putting her on a 75 inch screen. She looks like she's in your house. Then you get confused, you blur reality and the next thing you know you're in somebody's bush. Found someone that looks enough like her. Then I'm gonna put a bag on her head. I've been there. I know I've been in people's front yards that I think might've looked a little like Dua Lipa. And if they come outside, that's meant to be. I better keep this potato sack handy just in case this fake Dua comes out. Yes, I did see that, but it was a long time ago. That's like his wife got mad. Cause just standing there, the TV's not even on. It's on mute. What are you doing? Huh? Oh, sorry, old ugly woman. I was looking at the tv. Oh geez. Did I say that out loud? Sorry, honey.
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Brett
Hey, Byron. I heard you have something new to announce from MMP Guns, Brett.
Byron
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Brett
Well, can you do this to my gun?
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We can new it to nearly any firearm. Doesn't matter where you live. You can ship it to us or we already have completed firearms in inventory daily with. No, wait.
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Brady
I thought that was Leslie Stahl. She's doing a great job.
John Holmberg
Leslie Stahl dyed her hair black. That's duly. But I know you know. All right. What's a dua lipa? Is that an animal or something? Shut up, Dick. You should turn it. This show's stupid. Liberal. Liberal cucks. 60 Minutes. You're an asshole.
Brett
Whatever you say, dear.
John Holmberg
What, are you gonna make out with the tv? Yeah, I actually was. You came in, ruined it.
Brett
Making out wasn't what I was thinking about, but, you know.
John Holmberg
Why are you putting your tip up on the television screen? It's gonna leave a mark. Huh? But I was just trying to get my waiter in the. This. Wow.
Brett
I was adjusting the antenna.
John Holmberg
Oh, I hate you so much. I know. That's why I'm a foot from the screen. She doesn't yell at me. This one's good. I like the one on tv. She's got a mute button. This is great. Yes, I did see the dua leaf last night. People have lost it. It was originally a thing. People. I got. People think that I have my email. Like I'm in this room all the time I got email, it goes tonight, 6 o' clock, channel five dualeep interview. Then Friday night, channel five and evening with Dua Lipa. I'm like, all right, I'm not always available to this. I wasn't sitting there on the computer last night at 5:50. But I appreciate it. Yeah. And then you talked about AI Brett. Now that we Biden was an AI robot. Another lady has been duped. I think this one in England. Owen Wilson got her for a couple hundred grand.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
And remember the one before where Brad Pitt hit that lady for £700,000 of. Not pounds, like, you know.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
English money. And her kids are the. They went to the news because this lady is convinced that Owen Wilson, she met him on a website. What was it called? It's the silliest website.
Brett
Was he on Tinder?
John Holmberg
No, it was like, oh, what the heck was it called? Said artificial intelligence technology and AI's PROP has made it hard to determine what's real, what's not. Oh, where is it? One woman has taken to Reddit to explain that her mother has fallen for some something. She went into the Reddit and said that. All these red flags. My mom just looked right past. She said, we've tried to explain it. She met him on something called Yahtzee with Friends.
Brady
Oh yeah, that's right.
John Holmberg
She's playing Yahtzee and Owen Wilson's on there. Now here's the thing about the dude who's pretending to be Owen Wilson. He should get all the credit here. I'm gonna go on Yahtzee with Friends, find an old lady that buys it and start getting some cash off of her. And he built an AI video of Owen Wilson. Wow, that's great. I think y is a fun game we should play tonight together. What do you say? Baba ganoush. And then like, that's him, that's Owen. I'm going to send money. And then started to hit her up for cash and she's like, I'm going to do it. They FaceTime, which is where old people are the targets for AI because this is the early stage. This is. Today is the worst day. AI is going to be moving forward, forward. Tomorrow will then be the worst day. AI is going to meet. It's going to get better every single day. But right now, old people, you know, cataract, one eye, not really paying much attention. They're just happy to get the video to play or looking right at Owen Wilson. You got to remember, it wasn't that long ago. They're the. They're the children of the people who ran scared from the radio telling them that there was an attack from aliens. This isn't. We're not too many generations removed from folks who get fooled fairly easily. But she says he hasn't asked her for money, but she has sent it. And he got her a job at Warner Brothers where she can make five thousand dollars a month. But it's gonna cost her a couple ten. Ten dollar payments through cash app and then they're gonna give her a thousand bucks right off the bat. So she sent over a few of these cash app small payments and then for the 5000 she's gotta pay that them and. And send over like information about airline travel. And she's basically buying them all sorts of things and not realizing she's doing it. And she's like. He's an actual. Like she was almost going to sell her house because he promised her a job at Warner Brothers. So like the AI Owen Wilson's kind.
Brett
Of an opposite end for picking, you know, Owen Wilson of all people. It's not like Jason Momoa or.
John Holmberg
Right.
Brett
You know, I mean like some.
John Holmberg
That's somebody.
Dick Toledo
Right.
Brett
That's what I'm saying.
John Holmberg
It's smart. Yeah. Wow. Yahtzee. Yeah. I'll play with you, Gladys. Oh, this should be fun. Owen Wilson and I having a nice evening. Wow. You're hired. I've just been hired. It's time to sell my house and move to Los Angeles with Owen Wilson. Mom, can I see the video and evidently I didn't see it but evidently the video is a little shaky. There's kind of see through sort of. Did you just look it up?
Brady
I just.
John Holmberg
It's a little bit strange. Oh, the pictures? Yeah, the picture's a little strange.
Brady
He's.
John Holmberg
But it looks like, you know.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Wow. Hi. Like it won't like repeat names and it doesn't know for sure everything and it makes mistakes but another one. So if you've this is that it's that biannual thing we do to where you got to go visit your mom whether you wanted to or not and just go through a computer, make sure she's not talking to a celebrity and maybe just ask all your. Everybody today, ask your parents of a certain age. I'll say anybody over 70. That's the, that's what the law I learned yesterday is that everyone over 70 is a, you know, potential victim at all times according to the law. A person at risk. They say in the legal terms terms you go up to him and just say hey, how's everything going there? You. You meet anybody new that I might know? It's funny you should say that. I. Playing Yahtzee with Owen Wilson on Thursday. Like, no, you're not. Mom. Let me see your phone. No. Is that the video? Brett, Let me see.
Brett
It's only like, 10 seconds, but, yeah.
John Holmberg
This is the one that the daughters went public with saying, watch out. Hello, sunshine. I'm making this video so you know I'm real and will never do anything to hurt you. I respect you for your patience and understand we cross paths. You're an amazing woman. Old woman's gonna eat that up.
Brett
And it doesn't. They need to.
Brady
And then, whatever.
Brett
Buy a little better AI that was.
John Holmberg
Doesn't look that great, but an old person.
Brett
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
I mean, it's like when we first started playing the very first Grand Theft Auto on ps, right?
Brett
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And you're looking like, man, this is amazing. You look at it now, you're like, what the hell is going on here? They're all made of blocks. And we all thought that the original Madden. Madden was about as good as it could get. You know, every. Every different level of a video game. Now when we watch the.
Brett
Oh, and the hot releases. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Everything about it's amazing.
Brady
What's the service that's gonna be toast now, but the service where you get birthday greetings and you pay for it.
John Holmberg
Oh, the Cameo. Cameo, yeah. You don't need that anymore. Just fake one. Lovett's does those. I talked to Lovitz about it because he. And this is the best story I have about Cameo. The guy who started it is, like, I don't know, not a very. Like, in his 40s, probably. It's like. And he's good friends with John Lovett. So I was in the car with Lovitz, and the guy. The guy. FaceTime calls him all the time. He'll text and go, what are you doing? I'm just in the car with a friend of mine. As I go. And then he'll FaceTime him, and he's either nude or just standing there with a shirt off. What's up, John? How are you doing? Like, oh, you got. He always says that when I say I'm on the plane, he sends me pictures of his dick. Like, oh, my God. I don't know if it's his or not, but it's a dick. Like, this dude star started cameo, so he's the one who's, like, messing with Lovitz all the time. But, yeah, he said he gets he does that all the time. And people. You'd be surprised how many people want to hear from. Now with AI, not only can you fake one, you can send it to people who don't even expect it. And they'll send you money anyway. So, yeah, check in with your mom. Check in with dad. I'll tell you right now. My dad. 76, something like that. 77. Holy cow. Is that right? Yeah, he's 77. He's gonna. He would like if Dua Lipa started chatting with him on the computer, he wouldn't know how it happened and just assume that it's real. Like that's. He'd struggle. That would be a thing my dad might say, I'm gonna send her my guns. I'm like, she asked me for all of my antiques. I'm like, that's not really her. Yeah, it is. I look, I'll send you the videos. I'm like, y. Old people are at risk. The future is bad for old people. And we're the next group of old people. It's bad for Brady's and me.
Brady
It's already. I heard the. The number is ridiculous. It was like 360 billion. The amount of scamming that happens on the Instagram ads for old people. Just on any product placement on there. The ads that are, you know.
John Holmberg
But that could just be a scam product. You actually get it.
Brady
There's still about 60%. It was really high that our scams.
John Holmberg
But they'll send you the product.
Brady
You won't.
John Holmberg
Oh, you don't get anything. No kidding. Because I've done a couple. I did a nose breathing thing and it's awesome.
Brett
Generator.
John Holmberg
The generator is not a scam. Oh, it's still coming. I just got an email the other day. It said it's gonna now I got a Keurig coffee maker and I also want some outdoor lighting.
Brett
Just having it sent to the new house there to fill the rest.
John Holmberg
You know what? That's not a bad idea. But it's.
Brett
Take all my Keurig and yeah.
John Holmberg
Store the generator over at the rental property. You never know. I don't have a place for the tractor, so I might want to put it in there. That's a good idea. Brett's right. I'm going to put all that over there. Listening Supreme Court won't review bands on assault style rifles. Okay, good. All right. Is that AI?
Brady
It was. I mean, it just came.
John Holmberg
Oh, that just came up on your phone because we were just. Yeah, we're just talking about.
Brett
Luckily I got My dad, he's to the point where if something seems like a scam, he. He hits me up. He's like, hey, what is this? I' like, no, but.
John Holmberg
But if out of the blue in his emails or if he. I don't know if he plays like mahjong online or something, but if he played in some group activity thing or some guy he's talking to just fires over a dua lipa thing and he starts chatting with this AI Dua lipa.
Brett
Yeah, no, I know. I. I hope not, but.
John Holmberg
And the next thing you know, she's like, yeah, she didn't want to come out here, but she just doesn't want to use her own money. She'll pay me back. When?
Brett
I don't think you do that.
John Holmberg
I don't think my dad would. I don't know.
Brett
He'd just be. Tell that broad to buy her own ticket.
John Holmberg
My dad would probably try to impress her.
Brett
N. Mine wouldn't send her some cash.
Brady
If they had, I think my mom might fall. But they'd have to say, I know so and so, like, yeah, who do.
John Holmberg
You think your mom would fall for?
Brady
Like, I don't think a celebrity. I think by just a general guy. I need help to get a flight over here.
John Holmberg
Really?
Brady
I know your son, Right.
John Holmberg
I know Brady, and he said to ask you.
Brady
Yeah, we're working on.
John Holmberg
Wouldn't she call you first? She.
Brady
Most of the time, yes.
Brett
But I think there was that scam going around a while back where people were making calls in the middle of the night to old people.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. The phone was a dangerous thing. Can you imagine when the phone first got invented, how old people were like, the magic voices in here just asked me to send the money. So I did. I mean, photo radar was basically a design to screw old people. That's why it was always in Sun City the most like it was in Sun Lakes and retirement communities. You couldn't drive through there without one of those cameras. 10, 15ft because the letter scared them to death. If you don't pay US$179, you lose your license in 30 days. Like, no, nothing happened here. Now, we caught you. We caught you speeding, all right? And they were sending money out the door all day long. Old people do that. They're rule followers for the money, most part.
Brady
It would be more online than anything, I think, rather than a phone call.
John Holmberg
Oh, they're not going to get you on the phone anymore. They've wised up to the phone. The old people of today have had phones their Whole lives. The old people from yesteryear got phones kind of thrown at them, and it was like anybody could screw them. They'd fall for all sorts of stuff. Yeah, be careful. Just go through your folks stuff. Ask a couple questions today. Mom, dad, how we doing? You meet anybody? Da Niro? I have. Your father was playing Yahtzee online and he met Robert De Niro. No, he didn't. Yes. Here's the video. All right. I don't know. I like Yahtzee. Yahtzee. I like that. I like that. Robert Johnson. You gotta send me some money. I like how he says, I like how he says your daddy's name so clearly. Bob. I don't know. Gotta talk to you about Bob.
Brady
I think he's a pool player. He needed money for an eight ball.
John Holmberg
You think that AI guy would ask for a direct eight ball hit? I'm telling you right now, Bob, I could use an eight ball, but I don't have any cash directly. Bob would be nice. Why don't you fire it over to me? Robert D. Just asked me for money and I'm giving it to him. He's. I owe him for all the entertainment he's given me.
Brady
Best part is.
Brett
Best part is these old people don't know how to use cash app and zelle and stuff. They're using like, can I write check to cash?
John Holmberg
I. I mean, Brett's not wrong. The tractor supply thing. I got so curious about winning that generator over and over, I gave it a try. I knew deep down I didn't win a tractor or a generator. But just in case, 13 bucks out of my pocket, I'll give it a whirl. Change all my passwords. We're gonna good so far. And I got to give it to him. Super diligent about letting me know that it's in transit. Getting a lot of those. And I'm on some sort of weird list with, like, I'm getting a lot of wins from Bed, Bath and Beyond.
Brett
Now look at you.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
You're going to have that whole house decorated for free, Right?
John Holmberg
I know, but I took a shot if an email showed up and said, dua lipa meet and greet. And all you gotta do is send us 12 bucks. Take her out to a subway.
Brett
Bye bye.
John Holmberg
12. I'm giving her 12. I'm gonna.
Brett
Here's 24.
John Holmberg
I talk about these scams, but if I'm sitting there and there's like, all right, there's a chance here. You with Margot Robbie. We all have something. Like, it's like $12. What if. What if I. What if I find out this is. I'm gonna give it a try. And then I'd Google it. Is Dua Lipa offering up? And then they'd say it's a scam. Like, I don't believe these people. They're saying that because they want to win on their own. They don't want anyone else to enter. I'll show them. And I would do it. I would also do it to meet Dave Kingman. Like there's a few weird ones. Like there's a couple like any like Jerome Bettis put out there.
Brady
Still random.
John Holmberg
$12. I want to come to your house. I'm like, I'm going to do that. Yeah. If Joe. If Troy Palomalu had a thing just popped up. Hey, all Steeler fans. $12 entry fee. And I already know it's illegal to charge people to enter contests, but still, I'm taking it. But that's what they want you to think.
Brady
He'll shampoo your head.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
Oh, Shows up with his own head and shoulders.
John Holmberg
Troy Palomala will come to your house party. I'm like, I'll be perfect Stealer day. And then all my friends will be freaked out when Palomalu rolls in and washes our hair. This seems really. And I'm like, just in case. And then at the end, you know, people are. Don't fall for scams. Like, that's what somebody's trying to win would do. That's the scam. The real scam is the guy firing off the follow up emails going, it's a scam. He just wants to be the only one who entered. And then he'd have Troy washing his hair. Oh, if I could get. I've. Look, I've already. Heinz Ward's a coach at asu. And when I got to golf with Cam. Scatter. Boo. A couple of times, I didn't care about Cam. I liked him. He's a nice kid. Go get. Get him. Enjoy being a giant. All I wanted him to do is get me. That's one freaking degree removed from my board. 1. And the next thing I'm sure been done. I kind of start. I didn't really ask. That's too aggressive. I wanted to let him know that I'm here for him first. Next thing I'm going to be like, hey, is there any way Cam can give Heinz my number and maybe pop by for a Monday night game? There's. I'll pay. Pay him. Oh, I'd pay him. Are you kidding? I'D pay him. Hines Ward comes rolling in. And everybody at my Steeler party, save for Chris Katero, would kick in a few bucks for this.
Brady
That's true.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I prefer him on tv. I'm not gonna go ahead and pay for that. All right. It will make Chris stand up. We'll put him in the, we'll put him in the garage while Hines is doing the meet and greet. Because if you didn't pay, you don't get to shake hands. 50 bucks a man. You can meet him at the, at the mall. I'll take my chance.
Brady
Eight by 11.
John Holmberg
All right. It could happen. Hines Ward's one fetus is another. There's a few out there. There's a few good ones. Do I think I'd fall for a few? But just be careful. Owen Wilson starts talking to me on Yahtzee with friends. I'm like, go yourself. Are you crazy gonna bother sending money to Owen Wilson? Call one of your celebrity friends. Yeah, call that Vince Vaughn. He's got some cash for you. Anyway, go through your folks things today. Just make sure. Got that 94 year old friend Paula who always talks about John was over to help out with the computer. Her other friend. And I'm sending emails. I'm like, oh, she's in the emails. Rich target right there. You got trouble. And she would talk to some like Gina, Lola, Bridget or something and start handing money over to her. She's run into some hard times.
Brett
Like, oh boy, somebody said there's a story about AI Keanu Reeves that stole 160k in Bitcoin.
John Holmberg
That's crazy. Keanu doesn't want that. Who thinks? And you know what the, the thing is? It's playing on emotions, that is he likes you. He actually might love you and you're his savior. Like it's a weird complex. But I also have to admit deep down that there's a few people that I would do that, that for. If Jerome Betta said, I really want to come to your house, but I'm just short on funds, I wouldn't say, actually I would like, why. And then he'd be like, I've run into some problems. I'm like, that sounds reasonable. How much do you need real Jerome Bettis?
Brady
Not even the celebrity side. But how many people have given money to put the deposit down to hold the prince in Africa's money?
John Holmberg
Well, that, that one I never got. Although it did piqued my interest right away. $10 million. What if it's real? Like I always, I, I was always a Guy who said, what if it's real? So far, so good on the other than that generator. But Brady bought a generator for real, and the same thing happened to him, so it can. It doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be a scam. Just be a.
Brady
And AI borrowed it.
John Holmberg
Yeah, somebody who's never met or known or anything else stole it for two years. That's crazy. Just be careful. You're probably not going to meet a celebrity and become best friends with a man. Yahtzee. With friends. I just saying there's a chance Owen Wilson's on there. My guess is he's not going on there as Owen Wilson. He's trying to escape reality. So he's going to go on there as, like, you know, Butterscotch Stallion. That's the one.
Brett
Brian Wilson.
John Holmberg
Brian Wilson. That's right. That'll be screw you up. Brett. What do you got on the big board of Musical Tree Wake Up Song.
Brett
Brought to you by Action Ride Shop. A little rainy out there today, so if you don't want to head out on the bikes.
John Holmberg
Done.
Brett
Well, now's the time to actually get that thing serviced. And then it's no better place. And of course, Action Ride shot. Best wrenches in town. Doesn't matter if you bought it there or not. Everything from Pivots to Huffy's. They can take care of you. And two locations, too. Right there at the Hawes Trailhead at power Road and McDowell. And of course, the OG on Gilbert Road and stuff. Southern Action rideshop.com.
John Holmberg
I just got a text from my buddy Winston. Says you're one degree removed from Hines with me in two directions. How? How do you know? Hines Ward win. What are you holding out for? I thought we were friends. I thought we were. Didn't I buy your barbecue last time at Eric's? I'm pretty sure you owe me one. Hines Ward visit. Oh, man, my place would just. I'd bronze the whole house house if Heinz Word showed up for a Steeler game. Oh, there isn't a porn on the planet that's better than that. Not even close. Oh, instead, the only football celebrity I ever get inside the house is Dale. Some long snapper. Wrong team. Yeah, that's a good point. Oh, that's right. He's friends with Max Starks, who's his frat brother. All right, well, you get on it, man. Winston, get on it.
Brett
Barbecue for a year. Winston.
John Holmberg
Oh, don't say that. What? What?
Brett
You said it's worth it.
John Holmberg
Never say that to a black. You said it's worth it. I'll go broke. It's not worth that. I still have a house.
Brett
You have limitations.
John Holmberg
I have to have a house for Heinz to visit. You tell Winston, barbecue for a year. I'll be like, I need to live in a tent for a little bit. And Heinz would be like, I'm going to go visit this homeless guy. Guy. It's going to backfire. A couple of days of barbecue.
Brett
All right.
John Holmberg
Watching our bank accounts. A week's worth. Are you in? Come on. Have you not seen Friday?
Brett
Winston's not that big of a dude. Come on.
John Holmberg
He's a big. He's.
Brett
He's a big guy, but he's not like, you know, like Dale or something.
John Holmberg
Yeah, but it's different when you say free barbecue. He's going to bring people my Indian eye. Coming by with the boys, I'm like, damn it. I knew it. Stupid Brett. All right.
Brett
On the list. Well, of course. You knew these were gonna come. Mr. Roboto's on the list. Organism from Austrian death machine. Intergalactic already.
John Holmberg
Barbecue for a year. Noise. I'm like, no, no. Offer rescinded. Not worth it.
Brett
Come on, It's Heinz.
John Holmberg
No, no. Not for a year. I'd rather stalk Heinz Ward and just kidnap him, bring him over for five minutes, and it's. It's insanity to think of that.
Brett
Primus. My name is mud. What? You said run. Dmc. You talk too much. For your neighbor. There goes the neighborhood. For your neighbor.
John Holmberg
First off, not my neighbor.
Brett
But you own the house.
John Holmberg
That's true, but I don't. We're not neighbors.
Brady
You're buddies now.
John Holmberg
No, I'm just fixing something up. And he's nearby.
Brett
Drowning Pool. Step up for the neighbor. Avenge Sevenfold Social D. And you know these were coming with the flying tours. Ring of Fire. Jump in the fire from Metallica. Fire started from process. Prodigy.
John Holmberg
Do you know what I want to do? Little Roboto.
Brett
Mr. Roboto, just in case Joe is.
John Holmberg
Really a robot, we could be the first ones to go backtrack and say, we were on this. We were. Trump called it. And we didn't pooh pooh it all the way. I'm 99% sure it shouldn't be thrown out there without evidence that Joe Biden was executed in 2020 and is a robot and has been for five years. That's something Alex Jones would say, Say, currently the President of the United States. Put that on Truth Social. Oddly enough, it's on Truth Social. I feel like Rachel Maddow right now. I'm so like, do you guys realize what just happened? Like, that was on Truth Social. That he's peddling that. Funny or otherwise. You got to throw in Hashtag. Just kidding. He's a dude. Like, something to let me know that you're not off your rocker because we all liked Alex Jones. That was a good idea having me on. Joe Biden is a robot and he was executed. And like, when he says it, you're like, oh, boy, here we go. Entertainment. Next thing you know, we owe somebody a billion dollars. All right, let's do it. Roboto. You got it. This is gonna blow your mind. That this was like a number one hit song for a while. It hung around on top.
Brady
Was it number one?
John Holmberg
Oh, it was a beast. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto for Joe Biden. Just in case. Sit back and just go, what was wrong with our parents? Drugs. Lots of them. 70s were evil. The 80s were. There was a three year rebound where things just weren't normal at all. I am the modern man. So, sticks, it's 98.
Dick Toledo
It's not weird.
John Holmberg
It's pretty cool, actually.
Brady
No membership fees.
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brett
He's evil sitting right here.
John Holmberg
Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. I just got an email from someone I respect greatly. I'm not going to use their name here. That basically says Trump has insight on things we don't. I don't put anything past the crazy Democrats. The desperation is unhealthy. I am now on the side of proof Trump wrong. All right, Joe. Joe Biden is a cyber organism built by a guy. I hope you're right. The more I read it, the more I'm like, God, I hope. And I forgot about this. South park in 2017 did an entire episode based on. Please, if you're the president, put your phone down, please. The whole show was like, we should try to put our phones down, especially if we're the president. Like they were. It was a, a, an appeal to just him to say please. Just you. We'll do it too. But you put your phone down. The worst thing is handlers can hear us. I got a poop. Where's my phone? I'm going to be in there for a while. Oh, no. It's unchecked, unfettered nonsense. It's going to be flying out of them. There's so much in that room. It's coming on top and bottom and While I sit here and take a great big healthy. Some say it's the healthiest America. Really good stuff piling out of me. McDonald's and all the goods. It dawned on me that I think Joe Biden's dead. Oh, boy, here we go. So today's word, by the way, because we're back at it. To qualify for the man cave upgrade from our friends at Prestige Billiards. Az when a whole man cave. We'll tell you all about that in a little bit. Today's word, text it, starting now. Cyborg. Cyborg. The text is 97936. So you text 97936 word CYBORG. No exclamation point, no funny emoji. Just that word they get in there. It'll prompt you and say, hey, congratulations. Wait for a call from dummy and then maybe win yourself this glorious man cave. I'll go through it. I'll tell you what's in there. You get a pool table. You get a ping pong conversion top for that pool table. Get an air hockey table next to the pool table, you get a ceramic charcoal smoke smoker. That's all from our friends at Prestige Billiards. And meathead Twin Peaks gonna throw in $200 Twin Peaks gift card wise Coatings gonna take your garage floor and they're gonna coat it for you, make it look beautiful. That I need that something fierce. Game day Men's health is Gonna give you $1,000 gift card for what they do. All that is going at your house if you win the man cave upgrade, which is pretty awesome. All Daily qualifiers get $50 gifts gift certificate from Von Hansen's Meet and Spirits and Mesa too, plus a couple tickets to go see Breaking Benjamin. Diamondback Stick gets involved in that thing for the finals. It's a lot. There's a lot. But that's it. It's right there. Cyborg, it's up and ready. All right, there you go. Richard, just. Oh, is this it? I'm a cybernetic organism. Living tissue over a metal endoskeleton. The boy's touching him. If it was Biden, he'd smell his hair. You know what's weird about that? How bad the acting actually is. Arnold made that kid like Arnold was the best actor in that. That's how bad Eddie Furlong was. He's horrible in that movie. But it's such a great movie. It doesn't matter. That's.
Brady
Joe came off as a spoiled brat.
John Holmberg
He's a little bit of a bitch.
Brett
Richard Patrick's brother was good he didn't say anything.
John Holmberg
He was great because all he had to do was stare at stuff and just walk. Cool. By the way, before we get to the Brady Report, I got this as. And this is going back to like being fooled on the Internet. I'm going in, says, hi, John, this is Janet Jackson. I've been looking for you ever since you yelled at me at the Las Vegas conference concert. And now I finally found you. I'd love to come come visit you, but guess what? I've lost my credit card and it's hard for me to travel. Please send $5,000 so I can come say hi back.
Brett
That's nice of her.
Brady
I think that's real, man.
John Holmberg
If you were at the show the night I yelled her name at her from the front row, you'd start to wonder, like she realized he might be a super fan and I wasn't. But I got to be that night. I screamed her name so loud, I think the band skipped. Oh, so loud. She looked down. Nothing happened. I thought I was going to be the guy in the chair when she go. When she did. That's the way love goes. Because she supposedly takes someone out of the audience, plops them down in a chair. Chair. Dry humps him while she sings. And I thought after my massive Janet scream, that was going to be me. But it wasn't. It was a Mexican guy. And we have gotten rid of that. That will never happen again.
Brett
You're welcome.
John Holmberg
You're welcome. It's right. You're okay. You get that? I took care of that for you. I was president when you were at that show. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. And we call this, this the Brady Report. To you by our friends at All Pro Shade Concepts. Brady's commercial is out and about with the All Pro Shade Concepts. Oh, and it's just Brady, the old.
Dick Toledo
The other 81.
John Holmberg
It's a good spot. No, no, he's. It's good, actually. You know who's really good in it is the guy from All Proceed. He's excellent. Yeah, they're really good. They have the mic so close to Brady chewing. That it is. You'll never forget this commercial in your life. But it's funny. And then Brady has a slave boy. Boy. Now you get it when you watch the ad. He's got a slave. Two boys.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Who's the other one? I only caught one boy. Oh, is that a different boy?
Brady
Just does the reminding.
John Holmberg
I thought you just had the one boy who did Both. Oh, well, what a wonderful. I didn't know. So all you got to do is ask All Pro shade how much extra for the slave boy?
Brady
They say that afterwards.
John Holmberg
There is no slave boy. Yeah, Okay. I didn't watch the disclaimer. I just made the call. Like, I'm not so much into the awning stuff, but how much for a slave boy? And they had that because who's a Kyle? Is that his name? The kid that's hitting the button?
Brady
Alejandro.
John Holmberg
Oh, Alejandro. Wow. All right. Well, not sure that's legal. I think it has to be a Kyle and Gilbert, but it's pretty good. It's funny. Commercial, and Brady sitting there under a shade. You really get a good idea of what Brady's patio looks like. Thanks to all pro shops. It looks pretty damn nice if you ask me. Head over there, allproshow.com. that is where you go for that glorious thing. And drop the temperatures that are gonna make every day feel like this. Even went to 105 out. Brady reported.
Brady
Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.
John Holmberg
Hello, world. Hi.
Brady
You ready for this one, boys? National leave work early day out.
Brett
Sounds like every morning show in this building other than us.
John Holmberg
Sounds like being a salesperson in radio. Oh, wait. You got to show up to leave early.
Brady
We might have to celebrate a little bit today.
John Holmberg
I know who will see you, Izzy.
Brady
Especially now.
John Holmberg
See you, GPT. We get to watch them leave every day. You know what we are? We're like night watchmen. Have a nice day. Then we take. Like, they all leave before we do.
Dick Toledo
It's like the Sheepdog and.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Morning, George. Yes, except for we never say good morning to him. We never see him come in. We're already working when they come in, and we're still working when they leave. And we've got kush schedules, by the way. Let's throw that out there. This little radio show here, it ain't easy, but you can't complain about the hours. These folks come rolling into town, show up half hour later, and leave a half hour earlier. I don't know how they did it. That's on me. I should have negotiated a better time frame of 6 to around 9ish. Yeah. If we feel that sometimes. Sometimes one of them just leaves. Tripp always says, I hate that. You face that window, you see everything. Because he came rolling in that one time in that driver had. Did you come in in a brand new Land Rover? You idiots see everything. Yeah, we see all your employees leaving before their job's over. What do you mean? Like half that show was gone at 8 o' clock. I don't know what was wrong. Running.
Brett
Then we had ski mask for the first six months too.
John Holmberg
We fixed that. That was. We should have gotten a raise for that.
Brett
Saving the company money.
John Holmberg
KDKB's morning show was showing up 15 minutes after a show was supposed to start. We called her ski mask. Should have worn one every time she got a paycheck. She wasn't here the whole time.
Brady
Couple of baseless fun facts.
John Holmberg
We'll fix it.
Brady
Some species. Species of male spiders tie up the female spiders before male mating so the females don't eat them afterwards.
John Holmberg
It's a little fight before bondage.
Dick Toledo
Sexy spider bondage.
John Holmberg
What kind of spiders do that?
Brady
I. I was just looking to see it.
John Holmberg
I didn't say which.
Brady
Thanatus Fanitis fanatus.
John Holmberg
Where do they live in? I think growing out there. Czechoslovakian spiders.
Brady
Come on.
Dick Toledo
We zip in, we zip out.
John Holmberg
They know the borders. Eastern Europe. The whole place is the same. No, no. We don't leave Czechoslovakia or Czechoslovakian spiders. We're going over there. That is Bosnia Herzegovina. I don't know.
Brady
Maybe they weren't there. It just says researchers from Czech Republic.
John Holmberg
Oh, the researchers are from Czech.
Brady
Sanitas fabrici Species of spiders.
John Holmberg
Sounds Italian, but it could like my guess because Czechoslovakia, Germany, Poland, they're all the same thing. We drew the board borders. It's pretty much a region where I think the same stuff lives everywhere. But I do like the idea that there's a spider out there that is into and respects the confinement borders of the Czech Republic.
Brady
He wants to be able to jab and live.
John Holmberg
If we go next to next to the Czech Republic and try to tie up our girls, we get stomped out. So. So it is legal here in Czechoslovakia.
Brady
The Mission Impossible TV series from the 1960s invented the term self destruct.
John Holmberg
It didn't exist before that.
Brady
Yeah.
Brett
Wow.
John Holmberg
Wait. We didn't have anything that self destructed like the government.
Brady
Not according to this fun fact.
John Holmberg
Huh. That's interesting. No way. There's the Czechoslovakian.
Brett
No, keep him over there.
John Holmberg
Jesus Christ. Things horrific and tie you up. How about that? You wake up in the middle of the night. I can't move. I'm going to penetrate Uranus. Now I'm a Czechoslovakian spider from hell. You're not gonna believe this, honey. Last night I got tied to the bed raped by a big spider from Czechoslovak.
Brady
Me too.
John Holmberg
She's still laying there smoking. I married one.
Brady
The longest winning streak in any professional sport in history is held by a squash player from Pakistan named Yangayer Khan. He won 555 consecutive matches from 1981 to 1986.
John Holmberg
The Michael Jordan of squash, the Cy Young of squash. Wash, he's got the winds. That's true.
Dick Toledo
Like you always say about psy. I got another one.
John Holmberg
Well, that was. That was the old camp. John Campanera or John Campanella. His old thing about cy young winning 525 games is 25 wins a year for 20 years. Man.
Dick Toledo
Got him again.
John Holmberg
What were you on the honor system? It's like, how many wins you have this week? S? Four or five. I think probably five. I think four.
Brett
It's like people playing in our golf tournament.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it is.
Brady
He wouldn't let anyone else pitch.
John Holmberg
I'm going out there again today, skipper.
Brady
What is my day in the rotation.
John Holmberg
But they had.
Brady
Sit down, rookie.
John Holmberg
Can I go in there and pitch? It looks like we're going to give me the win for this one. I. I put in a lot of thought.
Brady
There's a trend going viral on Tik Tok. People are putting jalapenos in their white wine hillbillies, and the experts are on board. They say it's quite good.
John Holmberg
Experts.
Brett
What's happening?
John Holmberg
Sororities, wine snobs. I don't see many wines.
Dick Toledo
That's right. When it hits postinas and it's a.
John Holmberg
Real thing, I don't see real wine snobs.
Brady
You know, it hasn't yet.
John Holmberg
I'll guarantee it's true.
Brett
I don't go there.
John Holmberg
No sommelier is saying, chuck a jalapeno in it.
Dick Toledo
Have Matthias do that at the bar. A little box wine.
Brady
Some.
John Holmberg
Yeah. That's where it makes the most sense. You go out to, like a Ocean 44 and have the dude come to the table and go like, you know what I want is, like, an olive in it or something. Like, no, we're not sticking five across.
Brett
The mouth for even saying it.
John Holmberg
500 glass of wine. I'm not sticking a jalapeno.
Brady
One expert said that it's because the wine has organic compounds called pyrozines, which are also found in bell peppers and jalapenos.
John Holmberg
Great. So take a bite of one and sip it. Pairs well. But if I was a Somalia citrus. The rah Rah room. It's Ryan, go in there and if he's like, this is a nice bottle of wine. Yeah. Chuck a. Chuck a jalapeno in that. He'd be like, I think you're looking for la pinata. You. Or do they still. What was the Name of that Chevy's. Yeah. I don't think they make them anymore. But go down to Chevy's and get some jalapeno wine as you're watching the tortilla machine. Yeah. That thing was fascinating. Don't make fun of that machine because I've never seen anything more fascinating than. The tortillas was just in the lobby. You're just sitting there.
Dick Toledo
Plop.
John Holmberg
I turned into an idiot immediately. Nothing went in. Just tortillas came out. There was no flour or.
Dick Toledo
Wait, what? You never saw the dough go in?
John Holmberg
No, just a conveyor belt of a thing. Just showed up on the magic. Magic AI. Chevy's tortillas. They had to go out of business because there's no way that the wizard let them stay day. Like the deal they made at the crossroads to be a restaurant was only 10 years old. They got that magic machine of tortillas and it just. It could only pump out so many. And then it broke and they couldn't make more. That thing caught my attention every time I was there.
Brady
That's one thing Hillstone should have kept.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Because that's where it is now. Because there was a Chevy's there and then Hillstones there now. And they should have kept the magic never ending Zolti on the patio. Yeah, look. That's not even it Rich.
Dick Toledo
That's not the right.
Brady
It was like a popcorn that was making. I think that one made chips.
John Holmberg
Huh. I didn't see that.
Brett
The popcorn one.
Brady
Yeah. Looked like a popcorn one. Make the chips.
John Holmberg
The one in the lobby was just pumping them out. Had a conveyor belt and just tortillas appeared magically and then got put into a pile. And then some like 16 year old kid who could have been like 40 came with his gloved hands and pulled a ton of them out. Oh, the machine of Chevy's. It all went out of business when Josh got. Went from being big to a kid again. That's basically the same wish on the boardwalk Chevy's made.
Brady
There it is back there.
John Holmberg
El Machina. You actually said that. I thought you were joking. That's what it was called.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Remembered its cool name.
Dick Toledo
And that was the same kind of thing.
John Holmberg
I guess it was. I remember. Remember it being smaller.
Brady
It's gonna puff.
John Holmberg
I remember the conveyor belt and then the puffy ones came out.
Brady
Oh, when you order your sizzling fajita, you're gonna get a piping hot, freshly.
John Holmberg
Made towards right there out of the lobby. El Machino. We made the. We made a deal with a wizard on the Corner. And we had five years of El Maschino and then it's gonna disappear back into the vortex of space.
Dick Toledo
That guy's authentic.
John Holmberg
He's authentic Italian, that dude. I kind of miss Chevys. You were dirty and weird. But that El machine, I remember it having a name. Brady remembered its neon name. El Machino. El Machina. Well, that's kind of a giveaway. Machina machine. Oh, yeah, that's proof. It was from wizards and warlocks. And it could conjure tortillas for us from thin air.
Brett
There's still some around.
John Holmberg
There's Chevy.
Brett
Yeah, they're California.
Brady
What?
John Holmberg
The machina. Is El Machina still there?
Brett
Yeah, I'm sure the machina is still there somewhere.
John Holmberg
There certainly isn't El Machina.
Brett
I had no idea.
John Holmberg
There's like 10 of them left.
Brady
Get a number to one. I want to call to see if the.
John Holmberg
Is there one in Sacramento.
Brady
Machina is still running.
John Holmberg
Gotta be Northern California there, because I'm planning. There you go. Trip to Sack. Oh, I gotta get me on Sacktown. If my boy Reggie's listening. We're going to Sacramento. Watch them A's. We're gonna hit a Chevy's along the way.
Dick Toledo
There you go. Now find where the minor league stadium is.
John Holmberg
I'm not gonna eat there, but I'm gonna watch El Machina for about an.
Brady
Hour with a couple of margies.
John Holmberg
The machine. It's the Bert Kreischer of tortilla making. Now, I don't drink margaritas from Chevy's bar. They've got the Pre mix. It's just pure sugar.
Brett
It's only 11 hours from us, boys.
John Holmberg
Well, if you drove. I'm not driving. No, idiot. All right. I'm going to that. Makina.
Brady
There's a British Airways flight attendant arrested. He went on drug binge. He was on a flight from San Francisco to London and they found him in the business bathroom. The business class bathroom? Dancing.
Dick Toledo
The pilot?
Brady
Yeah. No, not the pilot.
Dick Toledo
Oh, not the pilot.
Brady
There's a flight attendant. They're, like, doing, you know, dinner service or something. Like, where's. Where's Fenwick? He's missing and someone heard the commotion going on there. He was in the bathroom just dancing.
John Holmberg
That happens. He had room to dance in there.
Brady
Yeah. I think the business class one's a little bit bigger.
John Holmberg
Is it?
Brady
Yeah, but it doesn't.
John Holmberg
Look, look, don't take Molly before.
Brady
Maybe a couple of cubic feet.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's not going to be like you're sprawled out or anything. Can't sleep in it.
Brady
We've got this woman in California. She was at her house and she woke up. This is not the first time this has happened. Woke up to a. A guy sucking her toes.
Dick Toledo
Not the first time.
Brady
You said we've done the story.
John Holmberg
Cosby was the one.
Dick Toledo
I thought the same lady had it happen. Happened twice.
John Holmberg
You see, that's how I got to jail. But didn't. They got. They threw that out. So I got to go home to Camille and suck on her feet for a little bit.
Brady
It happened on May 21st near Modesto, but please share the details on Facebook. 27 year old Christian Agiano had allegedly been harassing the woman for months and then more or less stalking her. He followed her home from work, even slept outside her place in his car. Two Wednesdays ago, she woke up around midnight to find the edge of the bed. There he was sucking on her toes.
John Holmberg
I think I'd rather get raped. He tried to get bad with her me out. Oh my God.
Brady
She pushed him away, called 91 1. He ran off. Cops couldn't find him that night, but tracked him down the next day. Oh, he apparently tried to come back. Back.
John Holmberg
Wait, he didn't go to jail right away for pruning up her toes.
Brady
They couldn't find him. Oh, and the next day they catch him. Cuz he's heading back.
John Holmberg
He was, yeah. He wasn't done. There was nine more piggies. This little pig, this little pig. The little one's the hardest one to prune. Takes so long. Just do the little, little bit.
Brady
I'll end it with a couple of wild world stories.
John Holmberg
Little ones like a lady button. It's hard to find and get into your mouth, but once you do.
Brady
Hello, my friends. It's Brady Bogan with your wild wild world. A nightmare for you, John. This happened in Watcom County, Washington. A semi truck jackknifed and rolled over. And the report came out that 250 million million honeybees escaped. And the sheriff's like, no, no, no. It wasn't 200. It was 14 million.
John Holmberg
That's not good. Oh, I'd lose my mind.
Brady
They were. The truck was carrying 70, 000 pounds of honey as well. With the hives?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Bees won't travel without it. That's a bait.
Brett
Great band, though.
John Holmberg
That's how you get them in the truck. All right, bees, stop flying around. It's time to get to business. God damn it. What do we have to do to get them in this truck? Hey, what if we coated it with honey? We had this working like a Charm. Now start to driving and be careful. I wonder if the bees. They're in cages probably. Right. But does that matter if they're in the boxes? But if you have 14 million bees in your car.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
They're constantly moving around. Could they, like, manipulate the speed of a. This Neil Degrasse?
Brady
You mean all their wings, the energy.
John Holmberg
If they all got together and said, all right, forward. Could they push the truck again, like, as it's moving?
Brady
How many would it take?
John Holmberg
That's right. How many would it take for bees to hit the. Hit the wall all at the same time?
Dick Toledo
We got to get NDT on the show.
John Holmberg
How many bees would it take to beat a silverback gorilla? Also, that's another question.
Brady
We have this couple that was in Namibia for a little overnight safari. Guy is a rich businessman, as they're saying, but he. His name's Burnt Kebel.
John Holmberg
His name is Berndt.
Brady
B E R N D. Burnt.
John Holmberg
Burned. Yeah.
Brady
And he and his wife come. Tawny. Were sleeping in one of the. Above the tent or the above the car. Tents.
John Holmberg
Oh, a truck on a tent on top of the truck. Yeah.
Brady
And that night he decided he had to go to the bathroom. He gets down the ladder.
John Holmberg
What ate him?
Brady
Lion.
John Holmberg
Nice.
Brady
Took him like.
John Holmberg
He didn't look around. He didn't piss off the top of the truck. It's.
Brady
It's pretty dark.
John Holmberg
You piss off the top of the truck.
Brady
That's what I.
John Holmberg
You hang out the zipper.
Brady
I'm not going down the ladder.
John Holmberg
No way. I'm standing on the top rung and I'm pissing off the top of the. The truck. That's insanity.
Brady
No one. There's a chance that Charlie, the local lioness that lives in there is.
John Holmberg
She's on the.
Brady
They have names for the.
John Holmberg
So did it get him?
Brady
Was they. Pretty sure. The wildlife experts there in that area.
John Holmberg
Said, yeah, it was Charlie.
Brady
It was probably Charlie.
John Holmberg
And he's dead.
Brady
They're gonna now hunt Charlie.
John Holmberg
They gotta kill Charlie for eating that guy. It's not her. Like, you were in a. You're in her.
Brady
I went down. Yeah. In that area. There are about 60 desert lions in the region that they're in 59. And then they. And they know most of them tagged, but they didn't.
John Holmberg
Nobody told the guy, hey, in the middle of the night, just stand on the hood and let one loose.
Brady
Get this. The guy Burnt who got attacked by the lion was giving millions of dollars to help save the lions in that area.
John Holmberg
He's dead, though.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And I'm starting to Wonder about Tammy back in the tent.
Brady
Connie.
John Holmberg
Connie, whatever.
Brady
Yeah, Connie had to listen to the.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Connie pushed him.
Brady
There was a couple of yells because.
John Holmberg
My guess is he was taking a piss. Connie, come out here. What? I was trying to peek. Come here. What? What is it? Look, there's a line right at the end of the thing. Finally I get Burnt's money. Holmberg's morning sickness.
Brett
Check his beneficiaries.
John Holmberg
Yeah, exactly. Find out what Connie got. If he got eaten by this lion.
Brady
Connie tried to get some good news from the investigating police officer there on the wedding ring. Yeah, he was. He goes. Thankfully it would have been pretty quick humans. So he didn't have to go through much pain. If that makes you feel any better. That lion finished him really quick.
John Holmberg
She sat and just listened to it.
Brady
Well she.
John Holmberg
He got not love.
Brady
It was you know like two in the morning.
John Holmberg
So what? I don't care what time it is. If a guy goes lion, lion. I'm in the like. And you're like, oh, it's so.
Brady
Just how inconvenient are you getting down?
John Holmberg
Well no, I don't love anything that much. But I'm just saying I think she pushed him. No man in his right mind who's had a successful business leaves the truck. He'll piss in a jar. He'll whip it out the side of the tent, he'll pee on top of the car. But he's not climbing down the ladder until lion country. Yeah, no man's that dumb. He got pushed and now he can't tell his story. He was trying to wave her out. Honey, get the camera.
Brady
And if this guy. Usually you're in a camp with guides, I'll let you know.
John Holmberg
Right. That's why I think she pushed him. What is it? I'm on the top rung here. I'm taking a pee. But like right there's a lion. Oh yoink. It's over.
Brady
And finally, congratulations to the 55 year old Sherpa Cammy Rita. He summited Mount Everest for the 31st time.
John Holmberg
It's pretty awesome.
Brady
March 27th.
John Holmberg
Which makes me completely unimpressed when Whitey comes back with the. I climbed it because the Sherpas are doing it like twice a week.
Brett
To me that's a 1 in 20.
Brady
Done.
John Holmberg
I haven't did it.
Brett
I don't need to do it again.
John Holmberg
This is zero and done for me. I don't have any interest of climbing that.
Brady
He first summited Everest in 1994 when he was 24 years old and he's climbed the mountain every year since then. At least once, sometimes twice.
John Holmberg
It's crazy when you look at the numbers the Sherpas put up. And then I saw a picture. I was telling Brady, I saw a picture of a Sherpa the other day. And the guy filming it goes, this is amazing. He had the entire cast camp on his back. It was about seven feet of camp. And the dude's just hoofing it next to him. It's got tents and all the cookware and all the food and all the supplies. He's got really surprisingly. I don't know if this is bigoted or racist. He's got wonderful teeth. The Sherpa, they have good dental care. You remember that Very good dental care over there?
Brady
Kind of the documentary film of the lady that was married to the guy that started MTV and she was on that crew to summit the mountain. That was the one that lost.
John Holmberg
Like, that's the one that made the movie with James Brolin.
Brady
She made the Sherpa.
John Holmberg
Was.
Brady
Yeah. Carried the espresso machine.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Brady
Comforts.
John Holmberg
He did it. Crazy. All right.
Brady
Got a couple of burning videos.
John Holmberg
Knock them down.
Brady
First one is. Oh, yeah. And a little operation. Little surgery. Guy swallowed something, couldn't get it out.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's in his throat. And the doctor's got. This is like Czechoslovakian surgery. They've got a tube like they're doing an oil change in his mouth all the way down. And they're listening to terrible music. And now situated lighter. Yeah. This is Mexican medicine right here. What we're looking at now, another thing. This guy's got 16 things in his mouth and one of them is like Cornelius, Yukon Cornelius. It's his pickaxe. They've got a gas pump, a pickaxe, and another.
Brett
I don't know what the hell that is.
John Holmberg
What's in his throat? Oh, my God. He's still awake. He just moved. Yeah. Oh, there's. Oh, what's in there, Brady?
Brady
It's a wrench. A whole wrench.
John Holmberg
Like a 3 8. Wow. How did he eat that?
Brady
I don't know.
John Holmberg
That's bigger than 3 8. Look at that big one. Oh, yeah, that's a big one.
Brett
That's like a three quarter inch.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's a big ass wrench.
Brady
I think they're back in the kitchen of a restaurant.
John Holmberg
Yeah. It does not look very.
Dick Toledo
Did it reset or are they pulling another one out?
John Holmberg
I think it reset. Okay. Nobody's wearing a mask or gloves.
Brady
They got hair Mexico.
John Holmberg
They're in the purple scrubs, but they Might all just be estheticians. I think they might just do eyebrow like weaves.
Brady
We can do it.
John Holmberg
I think they're over at Pure Beauty right now. Pulling a wrench out of the. This cat's throat.
Dick Toledo
You watch that.
John Holmberg
It's the whole thing.
Dick Toledo
They eat things.
John Holmberg
You don't need a wrench. It's humanly impossible to swallow a wrench.
Brett
Somebody it pulls a snap on wrench out of there. It's ridiculous.
John Holmberg
It's a good wrench.
Brett
Yeah.
John Holmberg
He didn't got it. I know.
Brett
Thirty dollar wrench, bro.
John Holmberg
Oh, that is horrifying. Yikes. Somebody shoved. That's cartel. That was shoved in his throat.
Brady
Next one is a guy swimming. You know, summer is right around the corner. It's warming up. This guy, his summer done.
John Holmberg
He's gonna take a quick. Oh, a rock just fell off the mountain that he was standing by posing for a photo and hit him square in the head now. And then he's dead.
Brady
Oh, that's done.
John Holmberg
He can't walk ever again. He's just standing there, man, posing for a picture. And a giant boulder comes tumbling down a hill. God hates him is all. That is Brady's God. Absolutely Brady's God. Just hit him with a dirt cloth. Never. Like Jason, Jason. I'm going to hit him with dirt. Watch this. Jesus, come here for a second. Watch this. Oh, dad, don't do it. No, it's funny. Nobody likes that kid anyway.
Brady
All he heard was. The last thing he heard was Toledo, go time.
John Holmberg
It's over. That's the last thing you hear. Come on, dad, don't. Nah, seriously. Jesus. I watched him jerking off the other day. Kid won't stop. I'm gonna end it. I'm gonna throw a rock at him. All right, Bert, what do you got?
Brett
All right, this one coming in from another guy that throws in occasionally. Los Hermanos Cerveza sent this one in the beer, brother. Yeah, he said this is a. Said this is a Westside concert that's happening. So I don't know if it was Kendrick Lamar or what, but was this.
John Holmberg
We're at a concert. It was a rap concert. There's a man punching a lot of women. Or is that a WNBA woman? Oh, somebody's just beating the tar out of somebody down there. Oh, and then a guy just. That's a fella. And he's swinging at anybody, girl. No, he doesn't. He's locking women one at one after another. The women are coming at him and they're falling like bowling pins, man. And the original One got up and he helped her.
Dick Toledo
That's what I.
John Holmberg
Here's. Here's the question I have about this stuff, and I need to ask people who are into rap music, how can you be so active in your pants? Don't fall down when you only pull them up to your thighs? Like, I can't understand how your pants stay up when they're down at your thigh bender. I don't know. That's a good question, because I just assumed.
Dick Toledo
They're chonies.
John Holmberg
You have to have your legs wide all the time.
Brady
All the time.
John Holmberg
I've tried around the house to have my pants lower than my ass.
Brady
It won't hang.
John Holmberg
I'm not getting in any fights. I'm going to out. I'm like Raggedy Andy. My. The clothes are coming off.
Dick Toledo
We've seen this one recently.
Brady
We did this.
Brett
Oh, we did this one.
John Holmberg
I remember this flaming girl.
Brady
She does the.
John Holmberg
Oh, she. The one that eats the fire. Yeah. There's a bunch of drummers around her. Let me see it.
Brady
And only one drummer helps.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. And then she lights her whole face up. That's right. I think you said that last time, Brad. Oh, that's right. Her head started on fire because she's a fire breather. The music is extraordinary. Yeah, she's successful so far. Just doing it on a street bridge. And now whole face is on fire. They keep the beat. They cannot Hit her with your drumsticks. Yeah, treat her like a bass. She says, stop hitting me. That's not cool.
Brady
Oh, she has no eyebrows.
John Holmberg
No, no, she's definitely. She definitely looks a little bit alopecia.
Brett
Well, let's go to another fight. This one out of Padre game.
John Holmberg
Ooh, San Diego Padres. Oh, Reaches up, puts a guy out. Now another guy just starts getting beat up. Another guy goes in. Well, taking people out. There'll be no Padre fans left after this. Another one. Oh, he swing. Oh, another one. Manny Machado still up.
Brady
People do that. Just yell, hey, yeah.
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
That is the male equivalent of being a woman screaming the words, stop it.
Dick Toledo
What are you doing?
John Holmberg
And meanwhile, you're just filming it. That dude dropped four Padres fans. That's pretty good.
Brett
All right, how about this one?
John Holmberg
Says the absolute worst of only fans. Oh, this will be good. Oh, boy. Oh, I don't want to see this, Brett. I know what's going. There's a lady who's throwing up on something, and she's got a butt plug she's wearing. Working, Just violently puking. Oh, my God, it's a bag of vomit.
Brett
No, no, no, no.
John Holmberg
That's it.
Brett
That's it.
John Holmberg
That was it. Just. She just puked and puked and banged herself in the butt.
Brett
But let's go for this one. How about some perfect. How about some weekly dose of confusion?
John Holmberg
I do have to wonder what she did with that bag of vomit after. All right, all right. This is transvestites with great fake cast sword fighting. Sword fighting. Oh, that's interesting. I've never seen that before. The double decker beat off one penis resting on top of another penis.
Dick Toledo
It's got both.
John Holmberg
And one of the dudes with great cans is jerking the other one. They do have magnificent breasts. Yes. My friend Anthony would be totally into this. Wow. That's it. That's it. All right. You're a fever dream today, Brett. Monday. I'm left with a lot of questions.
Brett
It's Monday, all right.
John Holmberg
But I've never seen transvestite. Well, because I'm not really seeking it out where one one places the other onto like the way Brady does sandwiches on top of meat. Yes. Double sandwiches. Yeah, double. Yeah, it's a double glizzy. You got a double decker glizzy. Yeah, that.
Dick Toledo
I want to see you take one of those down, Brady.
John Holmberg
But I didn't realize that when you double decker glizzies, one hand can do all the work. And it's one. It's.
Dick Toledo
You have to have a formidable hand which.
John Holmberg
Well, one tip is facing. Each guy's got a tip facing and they're touching each other.
Dick Toledo
They're matching curves.
John Holmberg
Not necessarily. Sometimes they dip down, but either way.
Dick Toledo
In this particular incident, in this instance, they've matched.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I guess that would rest right in that little canoe and those gigantic cans. It's hard to ignore great cans. Really nice cans for fellas especially. Don't see a lot of guys with cans. That beautiful dude's got a great set. Yeah, both of those guys did.
Brady
You don't hear that too often.
John Holmberg
I mean, if we were playing two hand touch above the waist. I'm playing with them. And I don't care that I know or don't know what's going on down south. They're not allowed to breach the waistline. Maybe that's how those guys keep their pants on when they're down past their. They just put a wang in it. I got hit on. I did a click on pornhub the day other. Other day. And it was a really hot girl and she was riding a guy just the thumbnail. And I'm like, I'm clicking on that. She's Beautiful. And then I. What's going on there? She was not riding the dude.
Dick Toledo
She was receiving the dude.
John Holmberg
She. No, she was given. Oh. Oh. And I'm like, I couldn't. And she's doing it from on top. And they had it kind of in this. Big enough to kind of. It was lot for me to stomach.
Brett
But you muscled through.
John Holmberg
No, I muscled through for a minute and. But I kept. I kept the stroke alive. Well, I just kind of. My head at the tv. Wait a minute. What am I doing? You know when you kind of realize you're looking at something you shouldn't be? My algorithm just changed.
Brett
Oh, no.
John Holmberg
But I kept the thing going and I had my head turned like a cocker spaniel at a high noise. I'm. What? Wait a minute. That hot chick's got on wiener and she knows what to do with it. Then you click off, and now you're on a whole page of it, and all of it's magnificent. Oh, man. I had to thumb through all of it to make to get back to normal. There's a lot of weird stuff on the Internet. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady report. It's 98. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
Brady
No membership fee.
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this. Can you PD Morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil.
Brett
Sitting right here.
John Holmberg
Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. I personally hate them. It's pod. Not that I don't. I like Pod. Pod is fine. I was talking about something else. It is. We're late. This is again, my fault. I apologize. The word again for the man cave upgrade. If you're looking to do that, text it. 97936 is Cyborg. I'm gonna cyborg. So you're gonna enter. Brady's getting in. If Brady wins that thing, it's legit. Trust me. We don't know how to fix things. We're not smart enough to figure this computer thing out. Even Toledo struggles with it. Cyborg. Today's word. In honor of what Trump said about Joe Biden over the weekend, which is that he was killed in 2020, and what we've seen for the last four years is a rock robot. There's no way I'm awake. There's no way that I'm not living in a simulation. That's what we'll do. And also, we're gonna miss the Guadalupe replay this morning because I've been. I'm running late, so I get over here.
Brady
Leave work early today.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Leave work early today. Hi, Richard. How do people get to this archive of Guadalupe squares? And is this in it?
Dick Toledo
The current squares are not. They're on the regular podcast.
John Holmberg
Oh. Oh, all right.
Brady
The.
Dick Toledo
The audio vault is from stuff like 20 years ago.
John Holmberg
The one that's from the. That's in Cameroon and Djibouti, and they're going nuts.
Dick Toledo
You search Homburg's audio vault, the Guadalupe squares, or just search up the Guadalupe squares wherever you get your podcast, and it'll pop right up.
John Holmberg
No kidding. Yeah. And Djibouti. Or you can. Have you checked the numbers for Djibouti a little bit?
Brady
We did, yeah.
John Holmberg
We're no longer number one in Djibouti. Who passed us the Food Network?
Dick Toledo
We're never number one. We were number two. We were number two.
John Holmberg
Okay. Who was number one? Did you ever look.
Dick Toledo
Tried to find that out. And it. It wouldn't say on our platform.
John Holmberg
Djibouti Dave and the. The Fly Whippers.
Dick Toledo
Djibouti ski mask.
John Holmberg
It's the best show in all of Djabouti. I am Jabouti. Dave.
Dick Toledo
And I think we slipped in Cameroon as well.
John Holmberg
We're not as good in Cameroon either. What did we do?
Dick Toledo
Hot out of the gate.
John Holmberg
And we need to talk to consultants. Maybe we should do some hip videos. Brady driving around in a car listening to two or something.
Brett
We can stand down there.
Dick Toledo
We have slipped.
John Holmberg
So maybe they're trying to normalize a little bit since I think it's full on Scam central. That's where all your AI Owen Wilson's live.
Dick Toledo
Or you spook the Bobs, and they're.
John Holmberg
Like, he's onto it. He's onto us. We purchased numbers.
Brady
And let's level out the Djibouti.
John Holmberg
Djibouti and Cameroon. Yeah. Don't come. Shoot. Don't come out. So hot. Bobs, we can see through your fake purchases to add numbers to fool advertisers, which is really old. This is. Boy, the bosses hate when I admit what they're doing is crooked. You go out and make us number two and Djibouti and Cameroon. Toledo looks at stuff like that. You never would have thought it, but if almost our entire listener base is a group of tribesmen, we're pretty sure you bought that.
Dick Toledo
And it's funny. Those Internet snake oil salesmen are the ones that hit you up about it too. Hey, you've seen that. You're number two. And Judy, we Can help you with your numbers. Why in Djibouti we're not already number two?
John Holmberg
What's that called when people by likes and clicks.
Dick Toledo
Just bot farming.
John Holmberg
That's it. Okay, well, we did it and we bought. Farmed where there is no water.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, well, you know, the. A certain mayor in town pioneered that years ago.
John Holmberg
You did it in a day. Yeah, I'm looking for some more people. He went from like 25 people to 10,000. All right. And they're all like, Chak Pukam, Greep Gaston. And they. None of them have English on their Facebook or their Instagram. But they're big fans of his because they just got $3 to sign up.
Dick Toledo
And then when he would put out posts like that, hey, we're doing great numbers. His posts would get like four likes.
John Holmberg
Yeah, like a like and like four responses. And no one that would say, whoopee. Hard rubber. Like, what's that? Like, you just responded because you get an extra buck to say something back.
Brady
The company could make addition money if it was organic bot farming.
John Holmberg
Oh, very nice. Wooden floors. Yeah. You know that the people have been bot farmed when their responses actually include a schwa in the typing. Like, they're. We don't have those on our computer keyboards. So it's getting better. But our executives thought it would be brilliant. And they pull a fast one on the advertisers to say, look how big they are. These are their numbers. And look deeper. Make sure we're actually pulling these. But here's an advertisement for it. You can get all the old Guadalupe squares now in the archive and then go back in time ago. That was fairly sexist. We should cancel them. This is the dumbest idea ever to give people the past, but you can do it. So this. This Guadalupe squares is currently on the podcast.
Dick Toledo
Went up Friday. And that's pulling great number.
John Holmberg
Is it? Yeah, yeah. In Africa.
Dick Toledo
Locally. Sorry, I. I need to look deeper. I have to get into that mode.
John Holmberg
It's a good one. It's a Tracy. Morgan Freeman is a solid character. It's 8:57. We got a What would Brady do? Coming up next. That's 98. Morning sickness. 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, we're ready to go. Your last chances, my friends, have pretty much expired in the next minute or two. The word is cyborg, and if you fired off 97936, you might lucky that it's still available to you. But I'm thinking pretty much you've lost your chances at this point. To qualify today. But don't worry, tomorrow there will be another chance for you to try to win that amazing man cave upgrade, which we'll give away thanks to our friends at prestige billiards. You got twin peaks on there. You got game day, men's health. You got the wise coverage. They're gonna that that floor. A guy just emailed me and said, hey, if. If my floors, I don't have enough room for all that stuff, Can I just get the floor coating if I win? Yeah, you get some. You can get some.
Brett
Send a pool table to my house.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, you can have people buy the stuff off of you or you can get a cat. I don't know how it works, but I know that you can do that. And I want that floor thing too, so I. My garage floor sucks, so I got to get a new one. That's a great idea. Maybe I'll win. All right, so I'm guessing Toledo shut it down. So somewhere in about an hour or so, your phone is going to ring from an unknown call, pick it up, and if it's not Toledo, just hang up on the guy. If it is Toledo, you're going to qualify and get yourself $50 gift card to Von Hansen Meat and spirits out there in Mesa. And also take us to go see Breaking Benjamin. Right now, it's time for Brady to solve the world's problems. And away we go with Brady, the most moral man in all of Phoenix, solving your issues. And it's brought to you by our friends at MMP Guns Mo Money Pawn, 12th street and Indian School. If you want to head on over there. I tried to, I have to say once again, I got a. I had a little tiny. Well, I bought a gun from them a while ago. Yeah. And it came with the clips. And then there was a little box of ammunition in there. The clips are so tight, I can't get the bullets in. It's kind of sexy. Like, I'm afraid I'm going to shoot myself in the thumb trying to load this thing.
Brett
Can't get the last one in.
John Holmberg
I can't get the first one in.
Brett
What the.
John Holmberg
I know it is.
Brady
There's gotta be maybe a technique.
John Holmberg
I'm rolling the thumb, shooting across the room like I got bullets laying all over this place. Just think about maybe going to Byron and saying, hey, load this up for me. Show me that. Show me the way I get the little spring thing. It's just shooting them out. And I thought for a second, I'm like, am I putting these in backwards or Something. Why? That doesn't make sense. They gotta face the right way. We're just shooting them right back out at me. I'm like, not strong enough to work this gun. So I just set up a bullseye in my backyard and I've been chucking the gun at it nice. That's pretty much all I'll do. Anyway. They got all in. I got it there. It was a great. It's a great one, too. It's like a perfect little, you know, home defense system.
Brady
It's just get a bayonet.
John Holmberg
You think that's a good idea to put a big knife on the end of the handgun?
Brett
Was this glory now?
John Holmberg
Bad idea. That's not a bad idea. I think maybe you should think about coming down my hallway one more step. Unless you want to see intestines splayed out all over my floor. Morgan Freeman's in there and he's pretty pissed off and he's got a handgun with a bayonet on it. Where to get it? MMP guns. They probably have bayonets.
Brett
You can get one there.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right, put that to the test. 20% off. Anybody who wants their bayonets today, it's the Byron special. You're going to get a bayonet you got today. Only 20% off all bayonets while supplies last. Their big bayonet special is today. Handgun bayonets especially. I'll give you 100% off if you can figure out what the hell that is. MMP guns. 12th street and Indian school deals subject to change upon ownership whim. They don't have to take our deals is what I'm saying. Go over there and be nice to those guys. Get anything you want for guns and anything else. Are you ready, Brady?
Brady
Ready.
John Holmberg
Here we go. I'll start with the one Toledo just handed me, says Brady. My wife and I have been together for 10 years now. She's got a son from her previous relationship who is 22. Good kid, college, pursuing a degree, but lives with us while he's in school. This weekend, I discovered something that freaked me out. My wife said casually, while we had some friends over, and he came to her and said, it's time to cut my toenails. And she said she did it and that it's been going on his whole life. I mean, I get clipping them when he's young, but he's 22. And she's been doing this for at least 10 to 15 years too long. She got mad and said, how is it different than getting A pedicure. I said, it's just weird on 10 levels. To me, the biggest one is him being an effing adult. Please tell me I'm the one who's right and she's the one who's wrong and fix everything. Brian, he's 22, and he goes to his mom and says, clip my toenails. And she does it.
Brady
It's the mom and son having a catch. The clipping, the toenails. It's sort of like saying it's time to grow up.
John Holmberg
Yeah, but if my mom used to cut hair. Did your mom cut your hair? Yeah, same. How's that different?
Brady
Not much.
Brett
Toenails are different.
John Holmberg
Like Ronnie does it for a living.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
So if Kirby said, clip my toenails, she. She'd do it?
Brady
Yes.
John Holmberg
Yeah. If you said it, she'd do it. No, probably not. Gross.
Brett
Does a dude's mom do pedicures for a living? I mean, that's just it.
John Holmberg
Don't defend it now. Just saying, if your wife won't touch your feet, they're gross.
Brady
No, I've never asked for a petty from her.
John Holmberg
Not even a petty. Just trim my toenails. Oh, yesterday, while I was doing all the boxes in the garage, I had a high noon, because I'm classy like that, and I popped myself a black cherry high noon, and I dropped it like a bad habit, and I put it it down. And then I took a break from breaking boxes, and I sat on the couch for a second. I got my. I looked at my toes, and I'm like, that big toe looks like a talon. We got to get that off. So I whipped it up into my mouth and, ah, nibbled on the side of it to get it started and then peeled off a big chunk of big toe, put it in the can and went to that second one. Couldn't get my mouth on the second one, so I just worked it. I. And I peeled my toenails, put them in the can, back out to do the boxes. Flip, turn, flip, flop, done, loaded into the the jeep, Drop it off at a thing, go back to the house, walk over, see that high noon sitting on the table? I'm like, I just shake it. And took a sip and I just ate toenails.
Brady
What a pig.
John Holmberg
Oh, it was awful. They. The big one didn't get through the hole, but the little ones were right in. And I'm like, oh, I forgot. I drank my own toenails. It was horrible. The thing most people are surprised about with that story, I assume, is that Yeah. I can get my foot in my mouth.
Brady
It is impressive.
John Holmberg
It is kind of impressive. The big toe only, like, I, I used to be able to bite my whole, like, I, I. My dad would scream, stop it. I'd have my foot just chewing on my toenails like a monkey. That was when I was a kid, though as an adult, I can still whip it up there. And I've had, you know, I got new hips. Man. Did we solve that.
Brett
The Core Institute's gonna really love that ad.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett
You can chew your own toenails after you get your hips done.
John Holmberg
Before, I couldn't even get my foot past my knee. Now shove my toe in my mouth. I could dip it in frosting and lick it off.
Brett
Disgusting.
John Holmberg
If I wanted to. That would be gross.
Brady
It's an option.
John Holmberg
It's an option. I don't want to do it. If, like, it's like balling up and be able to get it in your mouth, you do it. Your kid is weird. That is weird, though, that you would ask. Like, that does seem kind of he. Immature. I guess.
Brady
Or I guess if I'm Mom, I'm going. Don't bring it.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. Not in front of other people. I'll. I'll help you.
Brady
We got friends over, right?
John Holmberg
But there's people. Yeah. That's the weird mom. He's too comfortable with the idea that that's mom's job. The clippers, the little, that weird little machine.
Brady
The first thing I thought that's how you do it is, is the kid so big where he can't reach his toenails.
John Holmberg
He's a fat boy. I mean, if that weren't my mom. So he can't even get his hands down there. How do you put on shoes? Smash them.
Brady
Shoes are a little different. You can. Yeah.
John Holmberg
You can mash a shoe on.
Brady
Yeah. And hopefully go Velcro.
John Holmberg
Clogs are just slip ons.
Brady
That's why Skechers came out with those slip ons.
John Holmberg
For fats.
Brady
For people that can't even bend over.
John Holmberg
That's not why Skechers did that.
Brett
Are the lazy pigs out there?
John Holmberg
It's not for fats.
Brady
No. It's for people that can't bend over.
John Holmberg
And that's fats. You never.
Brady
There's old people that they don't.
John Holmberg
In the commercial. In the commercial, it's all active folk. There's nobody like, yeah, they're not gonna.
Brady
Put it on there. But we know who it's for.
John Holmberg
Like, grandma the clown is trying to slide into her shoes and her Walker.
Brady
Can'T sell to the ladies.
John Holmberg
They're like Tony Romos.
Brady
All their shoes are slip ons. Pretty much. Tell her.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I don't know. I think I like. Brady's first idea is that Skechers built shoes for just fats. Too fat to get down there and put a shoe on. Don't worry about it. Sketchers figured that out. Look here, pancake foot.
Brady
That's harder to bend over.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's not. You kill yourself if it's so hard to bend over. Shoes have become an issue. Stretch a little. Exactly. That's going to make your life easier. Easier. So you're, of course, going to get more limber as that goes on. Try and touch your knees and work your way down your shin until you can put shoes on like a goddamn human. We've evolved.
Brady
I can still palm the floor with your foot. My hands.
John Holmberg
What?
Brady
Touching toes.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
Brett
I was standing straight up. You can just.
Brady
I can. Yeah, Yeah. I can still palm the floor. I start.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brady
That's the only good stretch I do.
John Holmberg
It's a weird brag.
Brady
It's not really bragging when you have 28, you know, legs.
John Holmberg
I can do that, too. I can get a T. Surprising me how many people can't touch the floor.
Brady
They can get their tips to the floor, but that's about it.
John Holmberg
That's pretty awesome, Brady. Thanks for sharing.
Brady
You're welcome.
John Holmberg
It's letter two. Says the floor. Yeah, I know. Well, that's the tip I bang into. I can palm that. Barely. My husband has stopped having sex with. With me. He says it's just not appealing to him. And the reason why is because he walked in on me with my vibrator. What should I do? Vanessa.
Brady
Take your sketchers off.
John Holmberg
He thinks you're fat. Pretty assumes you're fat. It's not the vibrator, it's your guts.
Brady
Vanessa, he must have walked in on something that was pretty disturbing. But I. I think for me, I'd get over that.
John Holmberg
What's disturbing about your wife and a voice? Vibrator. That's just baby fit jealousy. Let her have at it. Nothing wrong with that.
Brady
Yeah, I don't know. But I'm saying, if it wasn't, like, normal, what's.
John Holmberg
Yeah, if she's doing something special, look in there and just get excited that there. There's a new opportunity. Right. Like, if you walk in and she's got two of them going and there's stuff pumping and it looks like a.
Brady
Dr. Seuss saying, like, she. She got busted. Basically.
John Holmberg
Yeah. She was masturbating and she had a toy.
Brett
It was a problem.
John Holmberg
Yeah. What's the issue?
Brady
Get over it.
Brett
Yeah, exactly.
John Holmberg
Well, that's what. That's for him. She's like, what should I do?
Brett
Like, he needs to get over it.
John Holmberg
You tell him get over it. You invite him in there.
Brady
Unless it was, you know, she was pretty adamant saying, I don't do that. I. You know, there are a couple. It's very. And he still goes in there and he's shocked now.
John Holmberg
The only thing it could be is it was like a gigantic vibrating, like, King Dong. Yeah. It wasn't a vibrator. Like, we're thinking it was a dildo that does all sorts of crazy stuff. And he's like, well, I can't follow that. You've got a foot in there.
Brady
And he's like, in the dental bill.
John Holmberg
Your kiss. Her teeth are chattering. Yeah, I see.
Brady
Jesus.
John Holmberg
Brady doesn't like to talk about this stuff.
Brady
I don't like. You walk in on it. That's all right. It's not a deal breaker. Don't worry. You're not the only one, you know, that has experienced that walk.
John Holmberg
Yeah, but he's not. He's not writing us. She is. She's the one who had. Was walked in on. If it's him, it's easy to tell him, get over it. Like, she's gotta go to him and say, here's. We gotta fix this.
Brady
Oh, God.
John Holmberg
This dude won't have sex with her anymore because he walked in on it. She's trying to fix that.
Brady
I think there's other reasons.
John Holmberg
You're fat twice again. Buy yourself some sketchers and start walking around the neighborhood like miles at a time.
Brady
Again. Unless they're like a. You know, there's a religious thing behind it or something. I don't know what religion says. No, this guy is using that as. Is there one he's not in.
John Holmberg
They're like Islam that says, don't do that. I'm sure it probably Islam.
Brady
Oh, sure.
John Holmberg
There is.
Brady
There is.
John Holmberg
They're like, don't use sex toys.
Brady
Yeah. Or masturbating.
John Holmberg
Well, yeah, that's. That's you guys. That's. Nobody follows that.
Brady
Danny's not big on. It's more cat.
John Holmberg
It's all of them. They're all bad on you having dirty thoughts, but everybody ignores it. That's one of the silly ones.
Brady
I think they've gotten lax on it a little bit.
John Holmberg
You think the fact that you can't live without doing. It's like Taking breathing away or making sneezing a sin, you're gonna do it. So if it's religious based, he's out of his mind anyway. And what are you worried about sex for? You're not having it.
Brady
Yeah, and what. So what's happening with him?
John Holmberg
Brady's probably right though. You're probably just a little bit overweight.
Brady
Or there's just something he's not. He's.
John Holmberg
You're unattractive.
Brett
Her fat.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Brady's calling her a fat.
Brady
I'm not.
John Holmberg
What else were you saying?
Brett
Does she wear sketchers?
John Holmberg
That in the position you were in, he saw that you haven't shaved your bottom.
Brady
Sweatpants and old T shirt.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's dumb.
Brett
So stupid.
John Holmberg
That he saw you with your legs. He saw you with your legs open. It looked like kid and play were coming out of your house. Yeah, maybe shave it. Maybe clean yourself up. Do yourself a favor and use this as an opportunity. Vanessa, to go do a full on Vanessa makeover down south and get that thing pristine. He saw legs. He saw something. He saw something.
Brady
He never expect me to rally up.
John Holmberg
In daylight or with the lights on. And that thing looks like a tomato cut in half. And nobody needs to see. See that in full, like in the wild at all.
Brett
Oh, you're selling me on his side now? Yeah, before I was kind of like.
John Holmberg
Well, you know, she needs to get over it, but brush it up and go up to him and go, hey, I don't know what you saw that turned you off, but I'd like to talk to.
Brady
Would be attracted to that.
John Holmberg
Right. So she. She trusted us to email and say, hey, Brady, could you help me out? And we basically said, you've got baboon.
Brett
Maybe it looks like. Maybe it looks like she's got Oscar Gamble down there with his old.
John Holmberg
Was there a Cleveland Indians hat pinned to that thing?
Brady
Check that out. And if that's not the case. Yeah, then tell them to get over, you know, talk about it.
John Holmberg
Did it look like Travis Scott was laying underneath her ass? Yeah. Find out what went on and then clean it up. That's your fault. There's Oscar Gamble and the best baseball card ever. Look at the busty fro on Oscar. And that's what he saw, except for it was vibrating.
Brady
Coco Crisp got that. I didn't.
John Holmberg
Cocoa Crisp had a good one there for a little while too. Great afros in baseball. Anyway. All right, yeah, this is your fault, Vanessa. Fix it. You wanted the answer. Brady basically said, lose a few pounds and shave it. And if it doesn't work.
Brady
It's always good advice.
John Holmberg
It's always great advice.
Brady
Shaving first and foremost.
John Holmberg
You know, Vanessa, I think the best is just to show that you care by getting on the treadmill. Brady's a jerk, but he can touch the floor with his palms.
Brett
Somebody was saying maybe the turn off was her holding her stomach up to get to it.
John Holmberg
Maybe there was like a. There was like. Maybe she had a pool cue lodged into the door in the side of the room, keeping her guts off of her like a. Like a homeless person. And the queue is barely handed, hanging on. Sorry, Vanessa, but we picture you being the one who did something awful here. This one says dear Brady. So this is more of a all the crew rather than Brady. I apologize if it's a bit long now. That's how this always works. By the way. Brady gives you the answer that Brady would do, and then we argue whether or not he was right. Yeah, but if you want what Brady would do, you're getting it. And normally it's just, hey, fat ass, get on the treadmill. We try to be more. I don't know. He probably signified.
Brett
I would say.
Brady
Yeah, he opened the door on. It was like, where's the TV remote? Sure enough, there is.
John Holmberg
He was trying to open the door. He's hitting the door. Was there a dog toy under? What's going. Oh, no, just my flabberlance of a wife is leaning up against it.
Brett
Brady can palms down the floor. Tell him I said, sup?
John Holmberg
Yes. KDKB just hired.
Brett
Izzy and Brady in the morning.
John Holmberg
So we just heard that Brady can palm the floor standing with his knees straight. So Brady in the morning on KDKB starts tomorrow of Izzy. The Izzy report over here was like, what? You know who can't touch the floor with her palms? Vanessa.
Brett
According to Brady.
John Holmberg
Yeah. She'd probably lose her balance and then look like the rock chasing Indiana Jones. Anyways. Says this is more of what the crew would do rather than just Brady. But always listen to Brady's advice. The rest of us are usually just talking. Why? You guys have a problem? Uh, my wife and I are in our early 30s. We've got no kids. Uh, we're kind of trying but not fully committing if it happens, it happens kind of thing. My wife's brother is about to have a baby in three or four weeks with a woman he has no interest in being with both of them actively using fentanyl. He has totally agreed and wants us to take on the baby. The mom has no idea, but she has two Other kids and no rights to them for the same reason. We know there's a lot of legal hoops to jump through. Would you agree on taking on siblings? Siblings, baby. To avoid going into the system. There are no other siblings besides my wife. And the mom's parents will not take the baby. So it would go right into the system. What would you do? Yeesh.
Brady
The question was, would I take.
John Holmberg
Yes, you would. Yeah.
Brady
If we're trying to have a.
John Holmberg
So Tom's hooked on fentanyl. Your brother Tom. Tom. He and his wife are smoking out. She gets pregnant, and you're like. And he's like, I need you to take this baby.
Brady
And we want to. And at the time. We want a kid. Yeah. I would look at. That's my experience of growing up with having foster brothers.
John Holmberg
Well, there you go. Brady will take your baby. You're off the hook. Excellent. Brady said, I will take the baby.
Brady
Don't take more kids.
John Holmberg
Huh? You don't want kids.
Brady
Yeah, we're good.
John Holmberg
So you would not take this baby?
Brady
Well, no, I would if I was. Because he and his wife are trying to have another.
John Holmberg
Well, they're sort of, kind of. If it happens.
Brady
If it happens. Happens.
John Holmberg
If you're in your current situation.
Brady
I would rather do that. If it was my brother's kids, I would take it even if I didn't want kids. My brother was in that situation.
John Holmberg
I don't think I could do it.
Brett
I'm not taking cracky.
John Holmberg
I think I could. Yeah. That's the biggest reason why.
Brady
Only if it's a boy.
John Holmberg
I think I could take. Oh, yeah.
Brett
I don't Dominican, maybe, but that's about it.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Next thing you know, 13 years from now, you're walking in on Vanessa Jr, the elephant with a vibrator. Now you got to see that Fentanyl baby with a vibrator.
Brady
The would be a good mix, though. I've got a girl, boy and a girl.
John Holmberg
You'd like a boy?
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's. I would take one. If it was like 13 and then they fell into drugs and stuff and they were going to lose the baby to the state. I would step in and take that one, But I don't think I'd take a fentanyl baby. That's brewing and they're still actively doing it. Those are the ones that I. I watch too much ID Network and all those crack babies try to kill everybody. Yeah, I know. And I warn them all the time.
Brady
Kids are. Seem to be.
John Holmberg
Wow, they're still young.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Their teen years and Some of that heroin baby brain. They start wanting to burn the house down and stuff.
Brady
Is it true with fentanyl?
John Holmberg
I don't know. Not. I'm not willing to find out.
Brady
I don't know how much.
John Holmberg
I don't know how many fentanyl babies there are. The heroin thing, not a lot of research on the fentanyl babies because they're. They haven't grown up yet. But my guess is I would. It's gonna be a healthy percentage that's trying to kill people. And I'm out on that.
Brady
I would feel I want to step in on that.
John Holmberg
All right. Brady would take your baby. You say no?
Brett
No. Absolutely not.
Brady
Well, that's easy.
John Holmberg
I know. Yeah, I wouldn't either.
Brady
I mean, I wouldn't think you guys would.
John Holmberg
No crack babies. Yeah.
Brady
Just any baby.
John Holmberg
I'd take a normal baby.
Dick Toledo
You would?
John Holmberg
Yeah. If two really wealthy people were like too wealthy.
Brady
Like if. But this. The situation would be if my sister got pregnant.
John Holmberg
No, my sister's too old. That's definitely going to be an R word.
Brady
Well.
John Holmberg
I don't have the patience.
Brady
So again, no.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. Oh, it has to be perfect. I don't want a flawed child comes out with a hangnail. It's going to the state. I'm putting it right. I'm a little driving.
Brady
That'll be turned back in in a week. You're like having a fostering a dog.
John Holmberg
A week. I'd be putting that thing up on your kid the second I look at it. Oh, something's wrong with this. It's not mine.
Brady
I'm saying if you take it.
John Holmberg
No, I'm not. That's what I'm telling you. It's got to be a perfect baby. If it isn't perfect looked like me. If it looks like my sister. I'm like, no way. Going right to the fire department drawer. This becomes Captain Johnson's problem, not me. And my sister's not on drugs, but she's way too old to be having babies. So she'd have one of those miracle babies. That thing would definitely be a potato. Would have like breathing. Huh?
Brett
You Toledo dad it.
John Holmberg
Oh, I'd mail it to Toledo's dad just to see what he'd do. How fast he could get. Get rid of it. He David Blaine. That thing gone. Yeah. All right. We gotta go. And much like Toledo's dad said. Time. We gotta go. There you go. That's what Brady did. And if you've got a fentanyl baby on the brink, Brady is available@bbogan9kupd.com. I don't think he could say no. I think if you offered him your fentanyl baby, Brady would definitely like. Dang it.
Brady
Watch me.
John Holmberg
All right. Okay. Test accepted. Challenge accepted. I'm going to find a fentanyl baby, and these people don't want it anymore.
Dick Toledo
Brady, I think your decision is like 50. 50. You. You want the story number one for sure. And number two, you want the. You want the boy.
John Holmberg
Brady'd get a picture of me holding a baby by the toe over a city of Phoenix blue dumpster. It's yours or it's gone. Ah, bring me that thing. You'd have a thousand house load of them. That's why you don't hang out with crackheads. They end up making you take care of their kids and stuff. There you go. Brady will take your baby. It's 98k upd. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
Brady
No membership fee.
John Holmberg
I've heard enough of this morning sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
Brett
He's evil sitting right here.
John Holmberg
Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. I. I hear you. Everybody's like, quit calling it a clip. It's a magazine. Yeah, I know, but I got street cred, baby. I. I call it what it is. I call it a clip. Also, you're not wrong. Everybody keeps saying, well, why don't you have a man do it and go ahead and service everything at your house as well? I mean, what's going on? I got you. Yeah, you're all going to service my stuff. I just told, like, I got three bullets in this magazine or mag they shot out of there on their own. Something's too spring loaded. This PEZ dispenser won't hold my pez. And that made me realize as I was doing it, PEZ dispensers have to be designed after magazines. They're the same thing. They're teaching kids how to load guns in a weird sort of way, but. Yeah. The strangest thing, all right? They just try to put me my little moments out on the air, and you guys crapped on me. Not like we did. Unless you're Vanessa who's just blobbing around there, buzzing away. Everybody in the email says Vanessa was probably masturbating to pictures or videos of an ex or something. She didn't tell us the whole story. Nobody. Yeah, Vanessa, nobody believes that you were just, you know, innocently pleasuring yourself with a vibrator and your husband won't touch you anymore. Something else happened. Give us the whole story. Tell us what was going on. Give us your backstory if you want us to really solve it. Otherwise, Brady's right. You're just a pig.
Brett
F. Oh, it's your sketchers.
John Holmberg
You have fun with your weird sketch. Or some guy emailed, said, I'm 280 pounds of pure lard and I can still trim my own toenails. Yeah, you have to be in pretty bad shape not to be able to get to your toes. That's rough. Like Vanessa. Maybe that's what she was doing. Maybe he saw your feet. He hadn't been down there for a long time. It wasn't about the vibrator, the sex. He saw those eagle talons are growing off your toes. Like I can't touch that ever again. Larry's got himself a great deal coming up here as let you know, excellent adventure. Larry goes on one for Toyota and the Valley Toyota dealers every year. And this year he went up to Sedona in a brand new tundra and I got all this video. And the reason he does it is to kind of spend time with the car and let everybody know what's on going. Then he comes back and he qualifies all sorts of people for three grand. Like he's giving away a ton of money and he's going to start that again today. So if you're listening to Larry at about 11 this morning, hour and 14 minutes exactly, Larry's excellent adventure is beginning. And he's going to qualify you guys for all sorts of stuff, including walking away with 3,000 bucks right in your hands due to the excellent adventure with Larry and her friends at Valley Toyota. Dude, it's always a cool idea. And all he does is just make and we make it kind of difficult sometimes with like shaleleigh and even cyborg screwed people up this morning. Get it all ready and rocking. And Larry does like cat. He does easy ones and you can qualify for it and then he'll do a big draw. So listen to Larry later this morning. Try to get your hands on some of Larry's cash. The Valley Toyota dealers giving you that excellent adventure. The videos are pretty great. The. The shots. Larry took that thing out to some spots and it is absolutely Sedona. It's hard to say. Known as a pretty girl. It takes great pictures. No matter what's going on. Cloudy day, rainy day, sunny, clear. It's always pretty. It's a Pretty Person. It's 9:46. We've got an entertainment drill coming up next. It's 98 Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I love it. That's living color. God. God, Living color is amazing. That. When was that, John? You were at that too. Was that a year ago? Oh, I didn't. Don't say with extreme because I don't care about that. John always throws in that. Extreme was part of that. I like to forget that part. And John would argue with me because it goes against his blood type. Extreme was horrible that night, John. Not after Living Color all by themselves. They were horrible. Living Color happened to be fantastic. And then extreme came out and sucked and it made them even worse because. Anyway, stop it. Why'd you bring them up? Living Colors. Great. If you get a chance to see him do it. I just got an email saying everybody needs to get off your back, John. Bullets do just sometimes fly out of guns. I totally get what you're saying. Signed, Alec Baldwin. All right, I don't need this. Damn. Is time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com, the home of tactical Black. Talked about it this morning. A guy just went in there with a makeshift flamethrower to some group. And I guess, you know, in all the times I've been over there, six, seven years now that I've been doing this, that the one thing I know is the destroy the operator thing is the first thing you think about when there's an attacker in that kind of situation. And you'd need a few sheepdogs, dogs in that spot to turn around and go, hey, this is big trouble. We got to take this guy down. And you have to have people who are unafraid to do that. And that's what they kind of train you to do. Although again, with fire, you'd be hard pressed to get me to do that. I have to be right next to him. I don't know that I'll be running too close to a dude shooting fire. Fire is horrifying, but that's the kind of world we live in. Not to be paranoid or scared and constantly worried, but aware for sure. Sure. I was in downtown Tempe picking up a friend. That was Flip Orley, actually. But no, it was Lovett's about six months ago and his hotel was down there. And we drove around and they were having a. Just we didn't know, but they were having a little rally for the Palestinians in the corner. And I'm like, this thing's ripe for a full out, like, attack. And we stumbled upon it and, you.
Brady
Know, Mil probably wanted to throw down.
John Holmberg
Oh, Lovitz was furious. And I'm like, you're the type that, like, you might lose it. He was. He was not happy. And we went. It was weird. So you just never know when it can. You can accidentally find trouble, and it can certainly find you. It's never bad to have something in your pocket, that's for sure. I get all these people that email me and like, I want to try, that I want to do. Then do it. Just do it. It'll get you in great shape and get all over that thing right now. The process is unbelievable. You guys can get involved and the price is unbeatable. Hop aboard right now. See what they've got to offer. Get in great shape. Watch. You're at it. And also getting to the spot where your brain kind of functions around the idea that chaos can happen at any moment. It's called preparation. It's not paranoia. And you live in it every day, whether you know it or not. FBI stats says your workplace is the one most likely to have something stupid happen. Would you know what to do? Do you think you know what to do? Why not know for sure? And that's what they teach@reactdefense.com it's the home of Tactical Black Brady. Entertain me.
Brady
Netflix held its annual tadum event over the week weekend, announcing premiere and dates and releasing trailers of upcoming movies and shows. The fifth and final season of Stranger Things will roll out in three parts on November 26, Christmas Day and New Year's Eve.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Brady
Finale for squid game season three.
John Holmberg
When's that start?
Brady
27Th of this month.
John Holmberg
Already back. That's June. June, isn't it?
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
Holy smokes. I was trying to think of what month it was. The 27th of this month. I watched the Pee Wee Herman documentary that we. That you did and releases a few weeks ago. It's pretty awesome.
Dick Toledo
That's what I keep hearing.
John Holmberg
It's weird.
Dick Toledo
Is it all one show or is it two episodes?
John Holmberg
Two episodes and they're long. But it's really strange to see Pee Wee open up about his first few years as a grown up. His.
Dick Toledo
The guy he fell in love with.
John Holmberg
Guy.
Dick Toledo
Guy?
John Holmberg
It was a Guy? Yeah. His name was Guy? Yeah. He was blowing a dude named Guy for a while and he just. He's like, look, it's not.
Dick Toledo
He couldn't.
John Holmberg
It's like, it's not good for my career to be this pseudo children's host and be blowing this guy on the side. So he just stopped loving people and just became people. Peewee Herman. It's really weird. Like everyday life. She was just peewee. It's crazy.
Brady
A new Happy Gilmore 2 trailer dropped that movie premieres January 25th.
John Holmberg
Well, if I'm lucky, I'll be hit by a truck.
Brady
Got another Frankenstein movie coming out in November.
Dick Toledo
That's too many over the last few years.
John Holmberg
That's a lot.
Brady
This one has Oscar. Oh, Isaac, Mia, Goth and Christoph Waltz.
John Holmberg
When was the last Frankenstein?
Dick Toledo
Poor Things. I mean, not a true retelling, but Poor Things was basically.
John Holmberg
Oh. Kind of was a Frankenstein thing. But it won awards.
Dick Toledo
Well, because she was naked a lot.
John Holmberg
Is that why they gave it to her?
Dick Toledo
That was your theory. You said, well, I think if you want an Oscar, get naked.
John Holmberg
I think that's a Best Actress for sure you're getting. Especially if we've wanted to see him. I didn't ever want to see Emma Stone stone naked. Yeah. And not that she's unattractive. I just, like. I actually think she's really good. Yeah. So I didn't think she'd have to resort to that. Glad she did.
Brady
Ricky Gervais got his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Friday.
John Holmberg
Don't want it. Take it back. No big deal. It's all yours. I don't care.
Brady
So it's an honor to be with.
John Holmberg
Such legends as Mel Gibson. Who else?
Brady
Bill Cosby.
John Holmberg
All the people who've had Fatty Arbuckle. The guy rapes the people.
Brady
There's a third one.
John Holmberg
I don't care. I don't want it. I don't want it. Do I now? Gotta go. Sorry, folks. Gotta go.
Brady
Colin Eastwood threw out some advice. He turned 95 last. I think it was on Never Trust a Dago. Hey.
John Holmberg
What? He asked for adventure advice. I'm 95. What did you expect?
Brady
He said instead of doing remakes, filmmakers should do something new or stay at home.
John Holmberg
Yeah, like Cry Macho, the movie about a boy and his chicken. I made that gangbusters flick a couple years ago. Brady. You saw it.
Brady
It was awesome.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Never trust a boy holding a.
Brett
What?
John Holmberg
What?
Brady
That's what.
John Holmberg
Cry Machos. Messages. Messages. Get a big rooster. He's walking around carrying things, throwing it at people. Yeah, he trained at a. Trained.
Dick Toledo
Is there any chance you were killed in 2020? And this is.
John Holmberg
Yeah. AI version. AI version of myself. I was executed in the early 20s and today I live on to make movies like Cry Macho. What a film, Brady. Remember?
Brady
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
I had to go down there and pick up that Boy in his.
Brady
And he found love.
John Holmberg
Yeah, loads of it. Because nothing chicks in Mexico love more than a 90 year old man.
Brady
You didn't back down to the cartels.
John Holmberg
No, I didn't. I bedded a lady right in front of him, actually. And then I grabbed a boy in his cock and we got out of Dodge. Watch the film, Brett. It's how we used to talk in the day.
Brady
Here's a.
John Holmberg
Then I threw a homo F word in my mouth and I smoked. I almost said it, but I thought better. That's what we used to call those too.
Brady
Actors who were killed, kidnapped or otherwise traumatized on movie sets.
John Holmberg
On movie sets, yeah.
Brady
Brendan Frazier.
John Holmberg
Brennan Fraser wasn't killed.
Brady
Almost suffocated. For real. During the scene in the Mummy where he was trying to hang. He. They were hanging him in the prison.
John Holmberg
I remember that.
Brady
He was. Almost 100 people were poisoned. I remember this story. The set of Titanic.
John Holmberg
What?
Brady
Someone spiked the chowder, right?
Brett
Oh, man.
John Holmberg
He drugged the chowder.
Brady
Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio weren't working that day, but it got James Cameron. And he pretty sure he knows who did it.
John Holmberg
They did it. Kate and Leo, maybe. Yeah.
Dick Toledo
There you go.
John Holmberg
I mean, my first two suspects are the two people who weren't at work that day. If we all got poisoned and Lane wasn't here. Yeah, like, wait a minute. But didn't she make all this chowder? Yep. Well, she poisoned us.
Dick Toledo
Maybe it's Billy Zane.
John Holmberg
Billy Zane's not pissing anybody off. He's a good employee.
Brady
The hair and makeup guy was kidnapped from the set of Baz Luhrman's Romeo and Juliet in Mexico. They only had to pay 300 bucks to get him back.
John Holmberg
Wow, they hated that guy.
Brett
Took it out of his check.
John Holmberg
They kidnapped the guy and like.
Brady
And Jim Cavisio have him back. Was struck by lightning while filming the Sermon on the Mount.
John Holmberg
That's right.
Brady
Passion of the Christ.
John Holmberg
That's a lie, by the way. Yeah, that didn't occur.
Dick Toledo
That's part of the promo package.
John Holmberg
That was real. No, he was not struck by lightning while he was Jesus on the hill. No, he wasn't.
Brady
He was giving a sermon.
John Holmberg
Didn't happen. He was giving a movie script. He was giving life to. He wasn't giving a sermon. And then God was angry. Oh, God was not angry. That's not how God works. I hope. And he doesn't use weather against us.
Brady
This is the 20th anniversary of the song you're Beautiful by James Blunt.
John Holmberg
Jesus. Why wouldn't he just make your Heart explode. Why do people think he's got to throw thunderbolts if he didn't like what you were doing?
Brady
Just blow up. It wasn't like just the fact that he was hit by lightning. I don't think it was. Obviously it wasn't a direct strike. People try to make a hit in that area.
John Holmberg
Right. People try to make a big deal that it was because it was the passion of the Christ and it was like, stop it. If he didn't like it, he'd have just like made his legs fall off or something.
Brady
Plus he got pneumonia from hanging on the cross.
Brett
Have a heart attack right there.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And then just drop him.
Dick Toledo
He's done a half dozen of those religio moves. Wouldn't something have happened on every one of those?
John Holmberg
And if God's going to get involved in that, wouldn't he get like. The exorcist would have just lit on fire every day?
Dick Toledo
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Brady
When I saw him speak at the Cornerstone Church back then. God, Jesus.
John Holmberg
What? Well then why you've been holding this story, proving me wrong.
Brett
Every day we learn something new about him.
John Holmberg
Caviezel was there.
Brady
Yeah, yeah. And he. He didn't mention anything about the lightning strike. But he did mention that he was at a cold going into the crucifixion scene. And it was 32 degrees degrees and Mel was putting them up there on there. And he ended up getting pneumonia.
John Holmberg
You know what you normally don't hear during stories of crucifixion? The crowd. Ah, that's funny. At a rough time filming the crucifixion. Imagine.
Brady
So the song you're beautiful by James Blunt, he revealed it's actually about being high on drugs and stalking someone. Someone else's girlfriend.
John Holmberg
That is a wedding favorite. Do you play your beautiful a lot? I bet you much you do.
Brett
Used to.
John Holmberg
Not as much anymore. Figured it out. Yeah. And it's a dirty, filthy, druggie stalker song.
Brett
It's like semi charm kind of life too. Everybody loves that song. It's so happy. Go lucky you're singing along. You're like, what did he just say?
John Holmberg
Every breath you take. Lips of an angel. Yeah, there's tons of. Oh, the again.
Brett
The one I love from REM Glycerin.
John Holmberg
By the Bush is my favorite because it's about KY jelly and anal sex. It is glycerin.
Brett
I just learned that right now.
John Holmberg
Glycerin is lubricant.
Brett
Okay, well, I died. I knew, but I didn't put the two together.
John Holmberg
Should have been easier on you, Glycerine. He went in dry. I think the song's all about apologizing because he went in dry. And then she broke up with him and he went into the lab and he wrote a hit song about how rough he was on her butt and it became a smash. And now people play it at weddings and like proms. It's terrible. Anyway, that's it. Larry's coming up. He's got your glorious chance to win Larry's excellent adventure. He'll explain that to you and it could result in you walking away with three grand. How about them apples? The valley Toyota dealers and Larry's traveling around them whole state every year. Stick him in another spot and say what do you want to do this year? And he's going to come back and give you more cash. Find out all about it from Larry who is coming up right now. You guys have yourselves a great Monday. We'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning. Sickness that weird? It's pretty cool actually.
Brady
No membership fee.
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode 06-02-25 Summary
Release Date: June 2, 2025
Arizona's premier morning radio show, Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, delivered an engaging and entertaining episode on June 2, 2025. Hosted by John Holmberg alongside co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, the show navigated through a variety of topics ranging from local community stories and conspiracy theories to online scams and personal anecdotes. This detailed summary encapsulates the key discussions, insights, and notable moments from the episode, providing an informative overview for those who missed the live broadcast.
John Holmberg kicked off the episode by sharing his unsettling experiences with a suspicious neighbor named Greg. Greg's persistent and intrusive behavior sparked a lively discussion among the hosts about maintaining privacy and setting boundaries in residential neighborhoods.
The conversation highlighted the challenges of dealing with overbearing neighbors and the importance of recognizing when to disengage to preserve personal space and peace of mind.
The show delved into the realm of conspiracy theories, specifically addressing the claim that President Joe Biden is an AI-controlled robot or a clone—a notion fueled by a tweet from former President Donald Trump.
The hosts debated the feasibility and implications of such theories, questioning the credibility and potential impact on public perception and political dynamics.
The discussion underscored the blending of humor and skepticism in tackling unfounded claims, emphasizing critical thinking and evidence-based reasoning.
John Holmberg brought attention to the escalating threat of AI-generated impersonations used in online scams, citing instances like fake Owen Wilson interactions on gaming platforms.
The hosts explored the dangers posed by deepfake technology, urging listeners to remain vigilant, especially vulnerable populations like the elderly, who are primary targets.
The segment served as a cautionary tale about the sophistication of modern scams and the necessity for increased awareness and protective measures.
The conversation shifted to the use and dangers of flamethrowers, reflecting on an incident where a homemade flamethrower was used in a public gathering, raising concerns about public safety.
The hosts discussed the implications for personal and community safety, advocating for preparedness and appropriate response strategies to handle such threats effectively.
In a lighter segment, the hosts recommended local comedy events, highlighting performances by comedians like Leo Gonzalez, Randy Feldure, and Gary Owen at various improv theaters across Arizona.
This section underscored the show's commitment to supporting local talent and providing listeners with entertainment options to start their week on a positive note.
The hosts addressed listener-submitted questions about relationship challenges, offering advice on handling sensitive issues such as discovering a partner’s infidelity or managing personal conflicts within the household.
The discussion provided practical insights and empathetic support, reinforcing the show's role as a community resource for personal well-being.
The episode featured dramatic and often humorous listener-submitted stories involving unusual or extreme situations, blending entertainment with cautionary tales.
These narratives added an element of unpredictability and fun, engaging listeners with real-life anecdotes and fostering a sense of community participation.
The June 2nd episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness effectively balanced humor, serious discussions, and community engagement, providing listeners with a comprehensive and entertaining start to their day. From tackling bizarre conspiracy theories and highlighting local entertainment to offering practical relationship advice, the show maintained its signature blend of irreverence and insight. As always, John Holmberg and his team emphasized the importance of vigilance, community support, and maintaining personal boundaries in an increasingly complex world.
For more details and to listen to future episodes, tune in to 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), download the 98KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com.