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Brady
You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP guns.com your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. There's more of the best of Homburg's morning sickness. 98 KUPD it's time for the Brady Report. Let's get Brady's mind off of this getting rooked by a shyster. The Brady Report is brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts. And shady times are on the way. High 90s generations. Shady times. Race throwing some shade.
Brett
Love that shady.
Brady
We need some. We need some more shade in the city. That's what one thing Phoenix needs more of is shade. And all Pro Shade Concepts can help you out. They've got something going on if you've got. I got a space in my front here. I'm considering trying to figure out how to get that in there because I got direct sun. Such a nice little area to sit or be. But it's in direct sunlight. Got to get these All Pro Shade people on that. So I'm looking into something on that. Try to figure out how to get them over there and they'll do it right. I've seen it done. It looks fantastic. Professionally done. Not some crazy DIY job. Don't do it yourself. Get the pros involved and they can help you out. AllProchade.com is where you go. Brady reported.
Brett
Good Wednesday morning to you Phoenix. Hello world.
Brady
Hi.
Brett
14% of adults in this survey said they would. They're comfortable leaving their 13 year old home alone for the weekend.
Brady
If you've done a good job, that's pretty good. If you. If you have a dumb kid. I was talking to a sales lady downstairs. She goes 12 year old son is a genius. He's brilliant. She goes I got another one that's not so smart. She goes I trust him. I don't trust the other one. I think that was true at my house. I think my sister was an idiot. And when I turned 13 suddenly we were allowed to do whatever we wanted. And I know it wasn't because the 16 year old girl was there. It was because I was trustworthy.
Brett
It jumps up to 25% when the kid was 14.
Cody
I was a latchkey kid, 35, fourth and fifth grade. There was a not a lot but I know of at least two nights where I was. I was home alone.
Brady
We got left.
Brett
You also learned a lot more skills quicker.
Cody
Early on we had the electric skillet out. I could do Hamburger Helper. I could do.
Brady
We got left alone. My momson's meals full weekend I think my sister was probably 13.
Cody
Yeah.
Brady
That was fine. We were responsible. Wow. Cuz we were afraid if we did anything stupid we'd get killed for it. So we were smart or.
Cody
I got my intellivision. I didn't have anything to.
Brady
I think we got checked on a couple. Like we'd get like dogs. Like we'd have a sitter come by and take a look at us. They're still alive.
Cody
Co worker. There was that. There was a friend that lived down the street that made a call or something.
Brett
And for the record, 21% of the people in the survey admit that they did host a party without their parents permission as a kid.
Brady
Did you?
Brett
I thought that's kind of low.
Brady
Yeah, it is. Do you trust Kirby to stay a weekend by herself? That's a no. Whether she'd want ceiling tiles. Answer is.
Brett
But I. You know, right now she's 14. I think she could handle it.
Brady
Would you do it though? That's a bigger question. And the bigger reason is probably you'd be looked down on by other people.
Cody
Right?
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
The bigger fear is that what would other people think of you? Trust your kid or not. People will judge you.
Cody
And of all of us, you've got the biggest enclave. Your entire neighborhood knows you. My entire neighborhood? I know Lisa's sister and brother in law in our. In our neighborhood.
Brady
And Your kid's almost 18. He wouldn't trust him by himself for a weekend. That's crazy talk.
Brett
I'm more comfortable with it.
Cody
He's.
Brady
Ronnie wouldn't leave her.
Brett
I don't think so. Yeah. Maybe an overnight.
Brady
You're going overnight and she'd be all right.
Cody
But not for the weekend. Weekend is a lot.
Brett
That's a.
Cody
That's a lot of time.
Brady
Well and then. But to. We didn't have the access to the thing. Like if our parents left, we couldn't call them. Every five minutes. Every time I go out with my buddy Mark and their daughter calls them.
Cody
Didn't have an airtag every 10 minutes.
Brady
Like oh, they. We were out to dinner in Las Vegas. I was with Mark and Kristen in Las Vegas. Her daughter calls, says hey, don't forget to remind grandma I got a nails appointment tomorrow.
Brett
What?
Brady
She's like, what? Said grandma wolf. At noon tomorrow I have to be at my appointment to get my nails done. And Mark's on the phone going well why don't you go across the hall and tell grandma? Cuz she's in the house watching you.
Cody
Or you have the phone.
Brady
She's like no, not. She Just calls her parents every fight. All right, you're not a. Oh, it didn't matter. It was insane. I'm like, take it away from her. Like, grandma knows. And so we called Grandma. I called Mark's mom, like, hey, by the way, you got an appointment tomorrow at noon? What? I'm like, yeah, the kid across the hall doesn't want to come into your room just in case you're doing something. Decided to interrupt our night.
Brett
You remember the lady? She was a tourist in Hawaii, and her GPS drove her right in the water.
Brady
Yes.
Brett
Happened again to her. Another lady, different lady going to the same place, rescued by a fisherman in a nearby boat who seemed annoyed by the whole thing.
Brady
She scared the fish away. Putting a car in the water usually screws up your day of fishing.
Brett
They barked out instructions to leave her car and swim to their boat.
Brady
How much do you want to bet you get that black box out? And I'm not saying that I don't know her. That's not what I meant, you know, but it does. The breakdown of what happened, because I didn't know that the black box in your car will actually say when you break or downshift or whatever, turn signals. What do you bet it went in the water and she put it in reverse and tried once just to gun it out. Had to bet.
Cody
I'll take that bet before I bet.
Brady
On your dunk bat. Look, I'll tell you this. If. First off, if I drive into the ocean that I didn't see, I die that day. I just. I'm fisherman. Just leave me here.
Brett
Car's still running.
Brady
Yeah. If I drive into the ocean in the middle of daylight, I'm doing it on purpose. That's happening. That's not. I can't make that mistake. I'll never be in a lake unless there's been an accident. But if it's just me making a right going, that seems like a lot of ocean. But GPS says this is it. Also, if my car's halfway in, and that's one going. But if it looks like it's in the water and I'm bo, I'm not going. I'm not playing the rock it out game. I'm just climbing out the window, not rocking it out.
Cody
Come on.
Brady
Got a rocket. Got a rocket. The ocean waves won't help you. Undertow is going to push me the wrong way. And if. By the way, if you need to be rescued by a fisherman, your tires aren't touching anymore.
Brett
I know.
Brady
So there is no so she did not go. You Said to me, you would too. I'm like, if a fisherman swimming towards me to help me out of the car, I already know.
Cody
First clue.
Brady
Logically, there's no rock in it.
Brett
You were deep enough in that one time at the Salt River.
Brady
Well, that was just the front end. And guess what I did? I ran. Like we stopped for a second. I went to put it.
Cody
That's right, you did.
Brady
I went to put it. The front wheel slid in and the front of the car went. I'm like, oh, my God. I put it in reverse because it wasn't in four wheel drive. And you have to do the old cjs. I had to do the hubs.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
I hadn't done that yet. And slid down in there. And the second I realized that there was no going back, I put it in park and it started to. I got out and started to leave. And if it wasn't for that grown man next to me, because I was an idiot. My 16th birthday. I almost dunked my car in the river. First day I ran. I was standing behind it crying, let's keep. Settle down, settle down, little girl. Put a top on. I'm a boy. Dude, that's. My dad's gonna kill me. Oh, my God. That's a. It's a boy. I thought it was just some little girl with breast cancer. She clearly had a mastectomy at age 15.
Brett
Well, maybe I get easy kill here.
Brady
Beautiful blonde hairs. His tiny little are out. This is crazy. Also, I'd like to make a request that every 35 to 45 year old mother of three stop asking me for my pain pills. Evidently that is the. That is the calling card for every mother of three between the age of 35 and 45. Because God damn it, if I'm not getting hit up left and right. You're a hero in Gilbert this morning, right? I am the. I am the sexiest man in Gilbert. I'm not even there, but all I have to do is go and rattle that little thing that says caution opioids on top. And they will. They will.
Brett
It's like you pulled up in a Ferrari.
Brady
Oh, it is. It's the new Ferrari.
Diana
And there's no fentanyl in it because it's prescription. This guy's a God.
Brady
I got them here in the building. I got them outside the building. If. If there's a woman out there with more than. I'll say. Two kids is probably it. One kid, they don't do the opioids yet. Two, three for sure. Mid 30s, mid-40s. That age group. They are begging me, are you gonna use all your. And it's, you know, the nice well wish, the surprising, like, oh, wow, I got a text from, blah, blah, blah. I didn't expect that. I hope your surgery went well. You doing all right? Yeah. Are you going to use all the pain pills or why? Well, I like to mix it with wine on a Friday. I have three kids. I'm in my late 30s, early 40s. I'm like, oh my God, you're a 14th woman that's asked me.
Brett
Then you should have said you should send them all a list. Like the airlines on the waiting. Yeah, you know, available spot, looking for updates.
Brady
Oh, yeah, have a computer screen and just have the buffing people up and down. Sorry, I took another one today because it was starting to ache. So. Yeah, one of them actually told me how refills work. You don't even have to have paint anymore if you want the refills. So you want the whole bottle. I mean, you're gonna get a refill. It's essentially what it was, so. And I've not had one guy ask me, not one, but I have. I'm not kidding. I'm around 12 or 13. Middle aged housewives that cannot wait for me to have some supply of opioids they can keep in their house for their dopey kids. Well, if you were single, you know how much you could slay on the side. Oh, man. With my. My feelingless flaccid wiener right now. Because my whole body is in like a numb state of nothingness. Edwards morning sickness medicate. Kupd.
Eddie
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Check out hilarious comedian Brian Simpson in Tempe at the improv sets for you. The lovely and very funny Gina Brian entertains you at the Desert Ridge Improv. And very good friend of the show, the one and only Christopher Titus performs all week for you at Stand Up Live. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Brett
That's the problem. I'm just slaying them right now, but I just.
Brady
I'm crushing, but I can't feel a thing. You feel, you feel, but you know, it's not normal. Oh, you could kill. I could get. You know what I could do for this is get a bunch of naked pictures of 40 year old ladies, but who wants that? Yeah, that's Inspired. Yeah. So. Yeah. But. Oh, it's. It's weird. It's all the emails this morning. You could use all those. I'm like, man, oh, man. The. I'm on pain pills. Mating call has been released. I didn't realize the power. Yeah. On top of a mountain going, opioids.
Diana
He's got them run.
Brady
I guarantee you just mentioning this. There's some ladies who woke up in Gilbert going, the Force something. There's a disturbance in the Force. They are in. It's weird. So I don't have any extra pain pills for you ladies quite yet. I'm sorry. Your lives need to be numbed with heroin and alcohol. You went strutting through Postinos today. Just my pocket. Yeah.
Diana
He's got opioids in his pocket. I can hear him.
Brett
I can hear the shake.
Diana
And they're not in a bag either. They're in a plastic thing from a doctor.
Brady
They're real. Yeah. They know the difference between baggy opioids and the ones that are in the actual.
Diana
Oh, my God. It's even got the red cap to warn the kids. This stuff's legit. Show me your cans.
Brett
Forget him. Those are 800 milligram Tylenol.
Brady
I do have two of those in my pocket right now. Two strong Tylenol just in case things start going south. There's my. That's what I got right now.
Diana
I get those over the counter. Amateur.
Brady
Yeah, I bet you we should try that today. We'll go over to Postino in Arcadia and I'll get my. I'll get my opioid thing.
Brett
That'll be the newest play.
Brady
You want to see eyeballs hit you. It would be like having a dick on the table that's 8 inches long. If I put that red capped opioid thing on the table at one of those Gilbert restaurants at lunch or at 4 o' clock where it's 1:30, right before the husbands come home.
Brett
Manage the. The. Imagine the sound. The shaking would occur at the Waste Management Oval.
Brady
And they know the difference between tic tacs and opioids rattling around. They perk up the cicadas. We'd be eating lunch and stuff and some lady'd wander over on her hands. Oh, my God. Did you just walk over here doing a handstand?
Diana
Yeah. Aren't you impressed?
Brady
Oh, my God. Is this America's Got Talent for my opioids?
Cody
Now, I'm not trying to suggest anything, but let me float that rumor out there amongst the teacher people that I've got It.
Brady
Yeah, right. You want someone. It's summer. It is summer.
Brett
Exactly.
Brady
They're ready to bog fill it up. Yeah, it's what you need to know. The public school system, they need 90 days off to get high. Then they can regroup and come back to your kids after a nice opioid summer. That'd be a great movie about teachers. The opioid summer. Well, yeah, I just. Stop asking me. I mean, I got probably seven this morning on my email. I didn't expect from people I don't even know.
Cody
There were a few on text too.
Brady
Yeah, it's weird. And I guarantee you there. What does John do with his pills? It's women. There's no way it's a dude. Dudes know better. Get your own pills. Go have a surgery on your own. But yeah, you go shake that thing. That is the Gilbert 38 year old mating call.
Diana
He's got opioids.
Brady
That red cat might as well just have it. Might as well just be a platinum AMEX card. Just. This is yours if you want it.
Cody
No limit, like Brady said they can detect. Oh, Those are the 600.
Brady
Oh yeah. They know the. They know the weight sound. They're like little bats. Fake Kansas stilettos will be chasing you down Gilbert Road. I won't be able to run them. I got bad balance and kind of a drug habit going. I feel fine, but I know I'm not. You'd be prey. Yeah. I didn't take. I don't know if I'm. I'm probably not supposed to do this, but Megan ain't driving me to work. I'd rather.
Brett
I noticed that today.
Cody
That's what I say. Hey, somebody's parking himself.
Brady
Yeah, I ran into the curb too. Hit it hard. I'm still a little bit. I don't think I should be driving, but it's still better. Trust me. Officers of the law and people out there, it's better than the alternative. Which is that lunatic I live with driving me around. She can't drive. She's the worst at it. Drove me home from the hospital. I tried to drive home from the hospital. Like, look, I know. Less than 24 hours since I was anesthetized into a coma. Give me the keys. I'm driving.
Diana
You're not driving.
Brady
Oh, for Christ's sake. Sure enough, bobble her head bobbles like she gets. She gets Parkinson's behind the wheel. The whole body starts bobbling like. You're making me nervous. Yeah, and then she's barking at me.
Brett
About something along with the German shepherd on the dash at one point.
Brady
Exactly. She looks like the Yotiro Taco Bell thing. And we're driving down Bethany home, and I look, I'm like, we're going 27.
Diana
I just got out of the light. You see?
Brady
Yeah. Like, I could be going 60 by now. Like, the gas pedal works. Like if you push it harder, just. We're idling.
Diana
You're just gonna complain the whole time.
Brady
Exactly. Until you let me drive.
Diana
You'll go to jail if you get caught.
Brady
I'd rather be in jail than the prison hell I'm in. Called the passenger seat with you behind the wheel. Worst driver in the world. Hate it. My mom. I'll say this, my mom's the worst driver in the world. She's second. My mom stops at green lights.
Diana
A lot of red light runners in this town.
Brady
Oh, my God. You're creating a traffic problem to avoid a traffic problem. You realize the logic in this?
Diana
Red light runners, John. They do a lot of damage.
Brady
So I always stop and look at green lights.
Diana
Yes.
Brady
You're going to die. When a truck hits, does she bring.
Cody
Up your accident when that happens? Wouldn't that kid run a red light?
Brady
No. Yeah, he did. And I don't know that she knows that. Oh, she just thinks I die. I thought she knew that because then it makes her.
Eddie
Right.
Brady
Don't do that. Well, what are the odds? Every green light she goes through has a. Like you could take a left, right, look and see somebody blaze into. Nope. We're going like 8, 9 miles an hour through every green light. I. I don't. Riding with her is a nightmare. And she's afraid of freeways, so it's all light to light. Takes about an hour and a half to get to my house from Mesa. This is all light to light and there are no greens. Everything's a stop sign. Oh, it's the worst. So I probably shouldn't be driving.
Brett
There's this dude that lived in the northern part of it, looks like New York. And he was along the canoe. Canadian border. He put in the address, put in the wrong address which crossed him over the border. Problem is he had $600,000 in cash and $350,000 in weed.
Brady
Geez, he's doing pretty good.
Brett
Royal Canadian Mount he's pulled him over.
Brady
Gotta pay a tax on that.
Brett
Oh, the pictures of the. The cash and the giant bag.
Brady
So we had a million dollars of stuff in his car.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
And accidentally went to Canada.
Brett
Yeah. Because he put in the wrong address on his gps.
Brady
You know, when you're in Canada. If you're toting a million dollars around, you're aware of international borders.
Brett
Aren't there a couple along Washington that are not really?
Brady
Sure. Sure. But, man.
Brett
Yeah, yeah.
Cody
Oh, the. There's no fence in Washington.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
You could drift into Canada. I'm not saying that's not a thing. Yeah. If I get a million dollars worth of contraband in my car, bring it up.
Cody
There's. There's a border crossing. You go like, three miles down a dirt road.
Brett
Look, welcome to Canada.
Brady
But I'm trying to avoid the local police. What I'm really aware of is Interpol getting involved.
Brett
Yeah.
Brady
So I know where the line is. It's like Maryvale.
Cody
So you're.
Brady
I can drift into it, but I ain't gonna do it. I know when I'm in Maryvale, you can't accidentally end up in Maryvale. You've made terrible decisions. I agree. Brett. Oh, it sickens. Brett. Yeah. Maryvale scares. That's terrible. Starting Maryvale is the 70s bush of our town. Absolutely 100. There you go. The Times. It's something I want to avoid. We never get a call from anybody from Maryvale defending it either. If I say something about Mesa or whatever, you don't know, it's nice out here. Maryville's like, yeah, he's right. We got nothing. We got nothing. We're a bush. We're an unwanted, big, smelly bush. There's another one.
Diana
I know you're getting all these requests for the pills, but seriously, stop it.
Brady
I just. I just reprimanded everyone for asking.
Diana
She's like, I really wanted you to know. I asked last week. What are you gonna do with all those pills? I've got three kids.
Brady
It's your problem, pal. Yeah, that sounds like the glory of motherhood. I thought that was the most glorious thing that's ever happened to you. You have to heroin up to make that tolerable.
Brett
There's a nightclub in Australia called Walshed on Hindley, and they're in hot water after a promotion where they offered women free drinks based on their bra size. The ad on social media said the bigger, the better, and that women could get one free drink for an A cup bra size 2 for a B and 3 for a C. Right. They encourage women to also remove their bra, saying, if your bra is uncomfortable, take it off, take it up, and let loose.
Brady
Right. What's wrong with all this?
Brett
That means you as well, boys. Did they capture backlash online? People calling it misogynistic. Misogynistic that's the word. Yeah, we go.
Brady
Morning sickness. Holmberg's morning sickness.
Brett
The ball. The bar canceled. The promotion apologized.
Brady
They weren't taking hostages.
Brett
They claimed they never intended for people to feel uncomfortable and body shamed.
Brady
Why? They were.
Brett
They're workshopping ideas for different promotions to promote fun, safe, and an inclusive environment for all.
Brady
And I know the argument.
Diana
Would you have a contest for guys get a free drink if they have a 4 inch dick or if I.
Brady
No, because guys wouldn't show up. Women will show up for free drinks. Yeah, we'll just pay. They'll like. We're used to paying. You guys are used to getting freebies and little gimmicks. And if you've got an A cup and you get a free drink, you're probably little. You don't need extra alcohol. A D cup. We got to get four in you to get you drunk. You're probably a little thick. So it's fun and it's silly. And unless they're making you do it, why do they have to apologize? Don't go if you're not interested.
Diana
Women shouldn't be subjected to this.
Brady
Then don't show up. Like Brett says, pay with your vote with your dollar. Vote with your dollar. If nobody showed up, it's a pay with pay with your dollar. Pay with your pay with your cans. I wouldn't go to a measure a dick measuring free drink contest because I'd be ashamed.
Cody
Can I get one free drink?
Brady
All right, There's a shot, pal. It's basically $8. I would win. Hey, you made it past six inches. Here's eight bucks. Yeah, this other dude's over there and he looks like the Saint Pauly girl. He's got like 15 pints. Then everybody knows we like boobs A to D. Just so long as they're not gross. Sometimes a nice A cup is even better. Like if it's got nice attitude. I mean, just saying that to be nice. We all know what's best.
Brett
There's a new rideshare app called Black Wolf. It's Uber, but with the drivers carry guns.
Brady
In case of the Black Wolf, it's.
Brett
A new ride sharing app to compete with Uber and Lyft.
Cody
I don't think there's much competition there.
Brady
Yeah, that's run by breath people.
Brett
You can live stream the.
Brady
Yeah. How you guys doing? You want to ride somewhere? Don't worry about it. Anybody gets a little froggy, Black Wolf's got it. I'm Lobo Negro.
Brett
They basically are using bodyguards. Drivers who also worked Military background, security background.
Brady
How precious do you think you are that you need an armed guard to drive you places?
Brett
Every Black Wolf app vehicle comes equipped with GPS tracking, live streaming technology that allows our riders to share with their loved ones. The company says it's on Facebook.
Brady
So potentially unstable veterans with military training and weapons are driving you somewhere and you're drunk and you're probably going to piss them off and you threw up in the back of their car and.
Cody
They'Re all fired mercenaries.
Brady
You're not going to make it.
Brett
Also, I guess they're trying to, you know, people are debating whether or not they want their kids to, you know, how old should a kid be to get an Uber?
Brady
Uber?
Brett
What if they're younger now?
Cody
16, I think. Alex was taking. He was able to take them. It's just a matter of how comfortable.
Brady
They just trying to make ends meet, you know. So I gotta do this ride share for a little while.
Cody
What's with the tick in your shissing pants?
Brady
You know what? Nothing for you to worry about, passenger. It's the safest ride in all all of Arizona. So mind your p's and q's back there. Would you like some gum?
Cody
How about some chamomile tea?
Brett
You said gum, right?
Brady
I said gum. I don't like when I have to pick up Middle Easterners. It takes me back. But if I was in Baltimore like those other people, I'd take Black Wolf. Oh, yeah. Well, if I was in wheelchair every day, if I was in Baltimore, I'd be Black Wolf. Wander around just shooting my gun at everybody. And I would be, right? Because everyone in Baltimore is awful. Terrible.
Cody
Everybody clear out of the black with their sign, that purple lift and the Black Wolf move.
Brady
Black Wolf parking. If you know what's good for you, you get out of my way right now. We got here in three minutes. It's a 15 minute drive. Black Wolf is great. That is awful. Anyway, I have. You got one. All right.
Cody
Throwing their. I don't know what's going on. They've got trap. One raft trap. They're trying to get kids over to the other world.
Brady
Oh, wow. By throwing. Yeah, just threw it one raft duck and he chucks a child into another raft. And it succeeded. Like he hit it. I think he makes it, though.
Cody
Yeah, he makes it.
Brady
Yeah, they make the throw. It's a probably 70 pound kid. They chucked from one boat to another. That's good. That's good.
Cody
That's a good kid. That's an Olympic team.
Brady
Good child toss right there. Practice that at Home with your kids in case you got a big white river raft trip scheduled this summer. Good kid toss is always important. You never know when you're gonna have to throw your child. Brady, you and Kirby go home and practice. Yeah, I need to.
Brett
I need to work out a little bit.
Brady
One boat to another.
Diana
Leverage is going to be a problem because I'm so low to the ground and you're human sized. So me and this guy are going to try to toss you around. Chris Stapleton. Throw my daughter.
Brady
I think. Yeah. That would be a tough one. Kirby's not going to make it through that river rafting thing.
Brett
She could probably reach out to the boat.
Brady
I don't see you guys going on any white river rafting adventures soon. Together.
Cody
No. Why not?
Brady
I don't know. It just doesn't seem like a good.
Brett
Age to go right now.
Brady
Is it a good view or her?
Brett
I. I remember I. I was probably 14 when I went on my first trip down the new river.
Brady
So you doing that. Would you do it again? I don't think you would.
Brett
I've done it five times.
Brady
I've asked you about.
Brett
Yeah, I would go.
Brady
Would you? Because I've said mountain bike.
Diana
There's no point in mountain biking. Just end up hurt.
Brady
Oh, you're like. You're different now with that kind of stuff. I don't think I'd see you on the.
Diana
Seems like a stupid idea now.
Brady
Let's get you out there then on a whitewater adventure. Suddenly it's real.
Brett
No, no, I, you know, although I had a friend say, hey, I want to do the. Oh, it's my brother in law, jv. Yeah, he wants to do the Grand Canyon.
Brady
The Colorado.
Brett
Yeah, the Colorado. For a week.
Brady
That's whitewater raft.
Brett
I know I could do a day of it or so. I don't know if I'll meet you down a week. You might be right on that.
Brady
I don't think.
Brett
Because I would be, you know, younger days I would have. Pretty sure, yeah.
Brady
I mean, I'm not talking about old Brady. I'm talking about now Brady. I don't think I'm saying a weekend. I don't see you doing that. I just don't see you going and rafting for a couple days.
Brett
Really?
Brady
Well, I don't really see you as you see yourself as that adventure outdoorsy guy now. Whitewater raft guy. I don't see you that guy.
Brett
Oh yeah.
Brady
Oh yeah. The way you act about mountain biking being like the most treacherously stupid world.
Cody
The way you act.
Brett
Yeah, I guess about the rock or break a limb on a rock in the white water, you know, Depends on what kind of rapids you're looking at.
Brady
Yeah, maybe I'm wrong. Prove me wrong. I'd like to see you in the family out there whitewater rafting. I just see you. I think it's because of my time with you on the beach. You just didn't seem to be much of a water sand guy. That was a really eye openening experience to see you on the beach. You hated it. In fact, last night when I was watching the finals and saw Miami, I'm like, that's about where Brady melted down right there.
Cody
Yep.
Brady
Then he walked into that gay bar and screamed at us about sand and dirt. I hate the beach. It was hilarious. We did stick.
Brett
I had a bum wheel that weekend.
Brady
Yeah, but you still. It doesn't make you hate a beach. All out.
Brett
I was hungry.
Brady
I think that was more it.
Brett
I was more hangry than anything.
Brady
I want to go whitewater rafting with you now. I imagine that would be a treat.
Diana
I don't want stupid garbage.
Brady
Yeah, maybe before. I'm not so sure. We'll take the family this summer. I'll pay for it.
Brett
All right.
Brady
All right. Done. Go in a couple weeks?
Brett
Well, yeah, we'd have to, but actually it might be too late.
Brady
No, no, no. I'll get you in.
Brett
No, no. I'm just wondering if the water's still running.
Brady
Oh, it's running to do it.
Brett
And it was always in April.
Brady
Going to a good one, too.
Cody
Oh, Verde Valley is still running good.
Brady
We're going to Washington. I'm not screwing around here. We're gonna do some good stuff, right? It's white water. It's white water. None of this, you know, stream.
Cody
Columbia river gorge, the Snake. Go to Idaho. Snake River.
Brady
I want to see you.
Brett
I jet boat up the Snake.
Cody
There you go.
Brady
And Jon Voight. And you squeal like a pig. Okay. I want to see that kind of rafting. That's what I'm talking, by the way. I'm not that guy. I don't know why you're so macho about it. I'm not doing it. That seems stupid, by the way. You're trying to be Mr. Big Dick over there, but no, that's stupid. You see him throwing that kid from one boat to another? I don't know what they're doing. It's all chance. I'm not getting on that boat.
Brett
It's not gonna happen on my raft.
Brady
Yes, it is. You're a moron. Yours is gonna go faster than everybody else.
Brett
Kirby, throw me.
Brady
Yeah. This is stupid.
Diana
I got a big set of balls. I'll do it.
Brady
I don't know what you're being so machismo over here. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
Brett
No membership fees.
Brady
I have heard enough of this.
Brett
What is dedication?
Fatherhood Voice
The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariana. We call him day date for short. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge. And there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we work together. We did a good job.
Brady
That's dedication.
Brett
Find out more@fatherhood.gov brought to you by the U.S. department of Health and Human.
Brady
Services and the Ad Council.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 06-04-25
Release Date: June 4, 2025
Host: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Title: What Age Will Parents Let Kids Stay Home Alone - Would Brady Go White Water Rafting w/Kirby - BO
In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg, along with his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Cody Toledo, delves into the pertinent topic of the appropriate age for children to stay home alone. The discussion seamlessly transitions into personal anecdotes and spirited debates about adventurous activities, notably white water rafting with a family member. The episode is peppered with humor, relatable stories, and insightful commentary, making it engaging for listeners navigating similar parenting dilemmas.
The episode kicks off with Brady introducing a survey about parental comfort levels in leaving their children home alone. Brett shares intriguing statistics, stating, "14% of adults in this survey said they would be comfortable leaving their 13-year-old home alone for the weekend" (01:12).
Personal Anecdotes and Perspectives:
Brady reflects on his own upbringing, reminiscing, "If you've done a good job, that's pretty good. If you have a dumb kid... I think my sister was an idiot. And when I turned 13, suddenly we were allowed to do whatever we wanted" (01:21). This highlights the balance between a child's maturity and parental trust.
Cody shares his experience as a latchkey kid, stating, "Early on we had the electric skillet out. I could do Hamburger Helper" (01:56). This emphasizes the practical skills children often develop when left to their own devices.
Trust and Community Influence:
The conversation shifts to the importance of trust and the influence of community judgment. Brittany challenges, "Do you trust Kirby to stay a weekend by herself? That's a no" (02:47). Brady counters by questioning societal perceptions, "The bigger fear is that what would other people think of you?" (03:09). This underscores the underlying social pressures that impact parental decisions.
Safety Measures and Modern Concerns:
Brady humorously compares past and present safety measures, mentioning, "We didn't have the access to the thing. Like if our parents left, we couldn't call them every five minutes" (03:42). Cody adds, "Didn't have an airtag every 10 minutes" (03:54), highlighting how technology has changed the dynamics of children being home alone.
Conclusion on Parenting Choices:
The hosts collectively acknowledge the challenges parents face in making these decisions, balancing trust, safety, and societal expectations. The discussion wraps up with reflections on personal experiences and the evolving landscape of parenting in the digital age.
Shifting gears, the conversation takes a humorous turn as Brady discusses an unexpected influx of requests for pain pills from middle-aged mothers. He quips, "Every mother of three between the age of 35 and 45... begging me, 'Are you gonna use all your pain pills?'" (08:25). This segment blends humor with social commentary on opioid misuse and the stereotypes surrounding it.
Notable Exchanges:
Brady jokes about his overwhelmed state: "I'm the sexiest man in Gilbert... just go and rattle that little thing that says caution opioids on top" (08:27).
Diana calls out the issue, saying, "He's got opioids in his pocket" (12:22), to which Brady responds with playful deflection.
This segment serves as both comedic relief and a subtle critique of societal issues related to medication misuse.
Towards the latter part of the episode, the hosts engage in an animated discussion about embarking on white water rafting adventures, specifically contemplating whether Brady would take Kirby on such a trip.
Debate Highlights:
Brady expresses skepticism: "I don't see you guys going on any white river rafting adventures soon... That's what I'm talking about" (29:51).
Brett counters by recalling past experiences, "I remember I was probably 14 when I went on my first trip down the new river... I've done it five times" (27:00).
The conversation includes playful banter about the physical challenges and safety concerns of rafting, such as, "When a truck hits, does she bring up your accident when that happens?" (16:44).
Perspectives on Adventure and Family:
The hosts discuss the balance between adventure and safety, with Brady emphasizing caution: "I don't know what you're being so machismo over here. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually" (30:32). Brett reminisces about past rafting experiences, indicating a willingness to embrace such activities despite Brady's reservations.
Conclusion on Rafting Plans:
The segment concludes with tentative plans and friendly disagreements about the feasibility and enjoyment of white water rafting trips, highlighting the camaraderie and differing viewpoints among the hosts.
Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in various side discussions that add depth and humor to the conversation:
Nightclub Promotions and Misogyny: Brett brings up a controversial promotion by an Australian nightclub, leading to discussions about marketing ethics and societal perceptions of women (20:00).
Ride-Sharing Safety: The hosts debate the merits and safety of a new ride-sharing app called Black Wolf, which includes armed drivers (22:59). Brady humorously critiques the concept, questioning its practicality and safety implications.
Driving Experiences: Brady shares a personal story about nearly getting his car stuck in the Salt River, highlighting the perils of reckless driving and the importance of vehicle control (06:55).
These interludes provide a multifaceted view of the hosts' personalities and the show's dynamic, making the episode both informative and entertaining.
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully balances serious discussions about parenting and safety with lighthearted banter and humorous anecdotes. By intertwining personal stories with broader societal issues, the hosts offer listeners both relatable content and thoughtful insights. Whether you're a parent contemplating the right age to leave your child alone or someone interested in adventurous activities with family, this episode delivers a compelling and enjoyable listening experience.
Brady Bogen: "If you've done a good job, that's pretty good. If you have a dumb kid... I think my sister was an idiot. And when I turned 13, suddenly we were allowed to do whatever we wanted." (01:21)
Bret Vesely: "14% of adults in this survey said they would be comfortable leaving their 13-year-old home alone for the weekend." (01:12)
Brady Bogen: "The bigger fear is that what would other people think of you?" (03:09)
Brady Bogen: "I'm the sexiest man in Gilbert... just go and rattle that little thing that says caution opioids on top." (08:27)
Brady Bogen: "I don't see you guys going on any white river rafting adventures soon... That's what I'm talking about." (29:51)
Note: Timestamps correspond to the podcast transcript and are included to highlight key moments within the episode.