06-04-25 - Les Emails In For Advice After Getting Into A Fist Fight At Work Over A Parking Spot w/A Co Worker - We Say Play The Gay Card - BO

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (June 4, 2025)

Introduction

In the June 4, 2025 episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg, along with Brady Bogen and Bret Vesely, delves into a pressing workplace dilemma submitted by a listener. The episode provides a candid discussion on handling interpersonal conflicts at work, workplace etiquette, and the complexities surrounding office dynamics.

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Listener's Dilemma: Parking Spot Showdown

The episode centers around an email from a listener named Les, who found himself embroiled in a fistfight with a coworker over a coveted parking spot. Les describes the confrontation that escalated from a simple parking dispute to a physical altercation, leaving him anxious about impending job repercussions.

• Timestamp [02:09]: Brady introduces Les's situation, highlighting the intensity of parking spot disputes in the workplace.

  Brady: "I got into a fistfight with a guy at work who parked in my spot. He did it every day last week."

• Timestamp [02:29]: Les elaborates on the incident, expressing frustration over the coworker's repeated encroachment on his designated spot.

  Les: "I've been parking in this spot for 11 years. When he was walking away, I told him, hey, that's my spot. He says, I don't see your name on it. And I boiled immediately."

Analysis of Workplace Tensions

The hosts dissect the underlying issues contributing to such conflicts, emphasizing that seemingly minor disputes can escalate in high-stress environments.

• Timestamp [04:15]: Eric points out that external factors like existing workplace tensions can exacerbate disputes.

  Eric: "And the fact that maybe things are tense at the office to begin with, right?"

• Timestamp [04:15]: Brady attributes the rising anxieties to modern stressors, particularly social media's role in amplifying personal insecurities.

  Brady: "I will always blame social media to make everybody anxiety is at an all-time high..."

Strategies for Conflict Resolution

Brady offers unconventional advice on navigating the aftermath of the altercation, particularly focusing on workplace perceptions and personal identity.

• Timestamp [06:05]: Brady suggests leveraging one's sexuality as a strategic move to mitigate professional fallout.

  Brady: "If he did just say, look, I've been straight and just... you have to play gay for a little while. You have to use this. It's the gay card."

• Timestamp [07:12]: Eric discusses the possibility of mutual complicity between coworkers, hinting at deeper interpersonal relationships.

  Eric: "He's in on it with you. So there is a chance that... nothing. It just happened."

Navigating HR and Management

The conversation shifts to dealing with Human Resources and management after such conflicts, emphasizing the precarious nature of one's job security in the face of workplace violence.

• Timestamp [05:35]: Eric emphasizes the importance of understanding the dynamics of who initiated the conflict.

  Eric: "Second comes down to who threw the first punch."

• Timestamp [16:12]: Brett contributes by suggesting tangible steps to demonstrate a willingness to adapt and mitigate the situation.

  Brett: "Wear a Lady Gaga shirt when you walk in there too."

Humorous Takes and Practical Advice

Amidst the serious discussion, the hosts interject humor to lighten the mood while still providing practical solutions.

• Timestamp [17:07]: Brady mocks the idea of using subtle cues, like rainbow-themed mugs, to signal personal change.

  Brady: "Maybe just a subtle little rainbow flag on the bottom of your cup."

• Timestamp [19:54]: Brady summarizes his stance on workplace conflicts over trivial matters like parking spots.

  Brady: "We're grown ups. No fighting at work. Of course, that's easy."

Conclusion: Balancing Workplace Relations

The episode wraps up with Brady offering a blend of sincere advice and satirical commentary, underscoring the absurdity of allowing minor disputes to jeopardize one's professional standing.

• Timestamp [21:39]: Eric provides a final humorous remark, reinforcing the light-hearted yet earnest nature of the show's advice.

  Eric: "Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees."

• Final Remarks [21:43]: Brady concludes by acknowledging the complexity of workplace relationships and the importance of maintaining professionalism amid personal conflicts.

  Brady: "Good luck to you, Les. Because that other garbage you'd gotten from Beth or any other chatgpt morning show would have been..."

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Key Takeaways

1. Conflict Escalation: Minor disputes, such as parking spot disagreements, can escalate rapidly in high-stress work environments.
2. Workplace Tensions: External factors, including societal pressures and social media, contribute to heightened anxieties and fragile interpersonal relationships at work.
3. Conflict Resolution Strategies: While unconventional suggestions are made, the importance of handling disputes calmly and seeking constructive solutions is emphasized.
4. Professional Boundaries: Maintaining professionalism and understanding workplace dynamics are crucial in navigating and mitigating conflicts.
5. Humor as a Tool: Injecting humor can diffuse tension and provide a relatable perspective on otherwise serious issues.

Notable Quotes

• Brady on Social Media's Impact:

  Brady [04:15]: "I will always blame social media to make everybody anxiety is at an all-time high..."

• Les on the Confrontation:

  Les [02:30]: "I have to meet with the bosses this morning to discuss what happened. Now, I've been there for 11 years. This dude's been here for three."

• Brady's Unconventional Advice:

  Brady [06:32]: "If you're a black guy, go with it."

• Humorous Suggestions for Les:

  Brett [13:17]: "Park somewhere else."

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Final Thoughts

Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivers a blend of serious workplace advice and light-hearted banter, making the episode both insightful and entertaining. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their professional relationships and approach conflicts with a balanced perspective, ensuring that minor disagreements do not spiral into major career setbacks.

Transcript

[Brett]

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[John]

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[Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[Holmberg]

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[Brett]

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[Brady]

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[Brett]

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[Brady]

I got an immediate issue. This guy asked me Last night. I don't know what time his meeting is, but we need to solve a problem for somebody immediately. So say, helmberg, I need your help. I got into a fistfight with a guy at work who parked in my spot. He did it every day last week. Man, are parking spots tribal. It is a weird.

[Brett]

You're the same way, though.

[Brady]

Completely. I have my space, and if anybody's in it, I'm like, who's the asshole? Immediately, the new morning show across the hall there doesn't know. And they started to pile their cars into our spots.

[Brett]

Yeah, they whore themselves out of everywhere in there.

[Brady]

Yes. And they. And they.

[Eric]

And now what do they do?

[Brady]

They've got their spots. Yeah, everybody's moved into, but, yeah, they just kind of drove in. But we get here before them. Right. But you start looking at, like, ooh, that person had to move. And nobody's happy with it. We don't have designated parking, but I've been parking in this spot for 11 years. When he was walking away, I told him, hey, that's my spot. He says, I don't see your name on it. And I boiled immediately. Told him to move his car. He wouldn't do it. He kept walking. I parked in a different spot. I got out of my car and I ran towards him. I said, after lunch, you're moving your effing car. And he said, or what? Then we called each other names. And the next thing you know, we're on the ground right outside of work fighting. I have to meet with the bosses this morning to discuss what happened. Now, I've been there for 11 years. This dude's been here for three. I don't know him very well. How do I win this without getting fired? I'm pretty sure we're getting canned. No one was around. It's his story versus mine. What do I do to save my job? I think this is gonna for sure get us fired. F word. F word. F word. Some of the women started saying a week or two ago that they felt like the workplace had become toxic and unsafe. There was papers in a meeting. And now we've got this. A lady went home crying after this. It was ugly. F word. F word. I'm screwed, man. Help me. Less parking lot tensions. Tensions are high. For some reason, people are. People are fragile. Michael Douglas, you know that falling down. It's so weird. What can set off anybody?

[Eric]

The trigger.

[Brady]

Well, I mean, this guy got triggered because someone went his spot. And all it took was walking up, going, get out of my spot. The other guy Gets triggered and feels like he needs to start swinging. And then they're rolling around on the ground together at work.

[Eric]

And the fact that maybe things are tense at the office to begin with, right?

[Brady]

You're bringing in all that other luggage, right? And people are just boiling. Anxieties are high. I will always blame social media to make the everybody anxiety is at an all time high only because of that. To me, I think that's like, it's for every age group. It is the most unbelievably unreal thing to put your life in and then try to live a normal life outside of it and see everybody else is doing great because nobody ever posts, you know, I had a bad vacation. It just doesn't happen unless it's funny. The only option I see for you right now depends on the meeting. Let's say it's a meeting between you. Now, here's the thing you got to really worry about. If you walk into that meeting this morning, there's more than one boss in there and you're fired. Because that's the witness. Whenever you walk into your boss's office and there's another person in there that has some sort of authority, or at least as a notary, you're fired. You hate walking in your boss's office when that second person is in there. Especially when your boss calls and says, hey, I just need to talk to you for a second. And you go in and there's already somebody in there, you're out. So that you can tell right away if you walk in and anybody but the dude you wrestled with is in there.

[Eric]

Second comes down to who threw the first punch.

[Brady]

Comes down to who says the right thing. Brady doesn't. It doesn't come down to that. Because if it's he said, she said, there's no video and everything else. It can be even. It comes down to how you handle this particular moment. And there's only one way to do that, in my opinion, after having read this. You're struggling with your sexuality and he called you the homo effort. That's it. You cannot get fired like that because.

[Eric]

You, you know, you see that space.

[Brady]

Tell him, just say, look, I did, I did ask him to move his car. You can be truthful about the parking space. And hopefully when words were exchanged, that dude called you the homo. F word. Because that's a dude thing to do. And if he did just say, look, I've been straight and just. If you want to save your job, you have to play gay for a little while. You have to Use this. It's the gay card. Break out only in case of emergency. You can't use the. The race card. Unless, of course, less. Yeah, if you're a black guy.

[Eric]

Got that. Go with it.

[Brady]

Go with it, man. Run with it if you want to save your job. Now, if the rumor of homosexuality is bigger than keeping your job, you know, to me, that's stupid. I'll prove every woman in the office wrong if they think I'm gay. I'll show you. Plus, it's a good way to get in and say, oh, no, I couldn't possibly. I. I don't even know if I get an erection for you. I'm a homosexual, but I'll try. And the next thing you know, you're bound in the hot girl in the closet. Don't do that either. You're going to have more meetings. Here's the bottom line. Play gay. Be first. Be first off the line to say it. Because if this dude wants to save his job, he might. And he also might be gay.

[Eric]

He's. He's in on it with you. So there is a chance that. Slim chance. But nothing. It just. It happened. Confrontation.

[Brady]

I didn't call you. I didn't call you a dude. What are you doing? It's like, I thought I heard you call me a. And I have. Nobody knows this. I've been in the closet for years. I'm struggling with my homosexuality. Then you called me that. I thought you knew something. I went crazy. I want to file a complaint with HR that this guy said the homo F word. Second. You say the homo F word, the whole narrative of the fight changes. Nobody even cares that you guys were fighting. Now you got yourself a bigot working in the building. It's perfect. Homo F word for the win. I say that's my option if I want to save my job. Eleven years, a long time to work somewhere with, you know, it going down. Like over a parking spot. Parking spot. I can understand getting pissed off, but I'm not gonna fight anybody over one. Unless it's just. Just a massive, like mall sized parking lot. And your spot has been gold for 11 years. You know, there is a thing about parking that matters. Because a lot of the times, most places and we don't have it. But I'm surprised we don't have a little thing that says reserve for management or reserved for. You know, I'm surprised Trip doesn't have a little stick in the ground that says reserve for Trip. Ready?

[Eric]

He needs three spots.

[Brady]

He's got too many cars out There. Now, that dude isn't. He's gonna get knocked out one of these days. Because if this parking lot ever filled up, four or five of his cars are sitting out there. It's like he. He stores his stuff here. But reserved for trip re. Wouldn't surprise me. I asked for that in the last contract, and he just laughed. And I'm like, I'm not kidding.

[Brett]

There's one coming up soon.

[Brady]

We're not doing that. We're not putting a stick there. Nobody's trying to park in your spot. Which is true. We park in a different area of the lot. I don't know.

[Brett]

I understand it, though, because Toledo and I will come in. When they first started that, those sons of.

[Brady]

That's what it reminded me of. Oh, man, we're fuming.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Pricks think they can just roll in here from somewhere else, take our spots. Like, they didn't know. I mean, Al Franken had no idea you guys were designated parking.

[Brett]

I think Coulier knew because he was in around the same time, but who knows?

[Brady]

But they. You know, I can't blame them. They didn't. They just pull in and going to work, and it's a wide spot.

[Eric]

You nip it in the bud immediately.

[Brady]

You fight the guy. You fight the guy right there.

[Eric]

Downstairs.

[Brady]

You challenge.

[Eric]

Lay down the law.

[Brady]

Yeah. Fisticuffs are necessary to protect that little, you know, 11 by 6 space spot.

[Brett]

Ski mask lost her spot.

[Brady]

Ski mask lost her spot. And it's. There's been no words about it like.

[John]

That we know of.

[Brady]

Lost her spot. Ski mask has to park somewhere else now, which is hilarious.

[Eric]

But I remember we're such creatures of habit. In the old building, we would have a meeting, and around the conference, everyone would take the same chairs. Nothing was assigned, but people would go there.

[Brady]

And then someone said, hey, yeah, you'd move them. It's mine. That's where I sit. What do you mean? It's my spot.

[Eric]

I always sit there.

[Brady]

And the funny thing is, if it was a new person in the meeting, you'd let them know, you gotta find a different place. This is where I sit. Oh, I'm sorry. And most people are like, oh, I get it. Parking spots. But, yeah, play the gay card. I mean, that's the. I would do it in a heartbeat. I would do it in a heartbeat. You are wrestling with your sexuality. This dude said homo f word. And some other choice things. And you just. You just. You couldn't take it. And if he attacked you and said homo F word, just say the Guy called me a homo. F word and then he started swinging after he took all I wanted was my spot back. Morning sickness medicate kupd.

[Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[Holmberg]

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[Brady]

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[Brett]

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[Byron]

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[Brett]

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[Byron]

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[Doug]

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[Brady]

You're gonna win this less 11 years to 3 years. Hopefully you're good at your job. But it's a parking spot. People lose it. The best thing, the best advice I could give you is don't worry about parking spots. But it's too late for that. It's too late for that. Now if I worked at a place where I had to park either up front or 600 miles away, I won't even do that at a restaurant. Like if the parking isn't, you know, I like. I like being. I don't. I won't sit and wait. I'll drive around and wait for a good spot before. I'll go park in the back and walk. I'm not doing that crap. I just don't. It's like something will open up and we'll be fine. But you know, Arizona is just so parking, Rich. It's ridiculous. You have no idea until you've gone to another city what kind of situation we've got, which is just these gigantic parking lots for every. Everything's a strip mall. Exactly.

[Brett]

Park somewhere else.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, you.

[Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brady]

The dude who took my spot can park somewhere else. We're parking Rich here. It's huge. Yeah, I just don't like, you know, I wait for the ones up front to open. We could be inside by now. I know. And we're not. Because I'm not gonna hoof it all the way. I'm gonna enjoy my meal and then I'm not gonna go out the door and say, we've got a quarter mile walk to the car. I want it to be right there. It's a status thing. And I don't know why. For a man, a good parking spot's a status thing.

[Brett]

Absolutely.

[Brady]

Look at the spot I got. I never hear women talk. So you're gay now. Sir, last play the gay card. And that goes for everybody who's about to get canned. If you feel the pressure, I got a friend of mine who thinks he's on the blocks. He's going anxious. Constantly anxious. Go homo. That's what I say. When in doubt, go homo. It's unquestioned now. And if anybody says you're not gay. How dare you. Trust me, I've been doing it around here for years. And it makes people uncomfortable even if they think I'm kidding. You're not gay. Oh, how. Ma' am? This is the type of fight my people have been dealing with for years. It's not your decision to know if I am or not. Oh, shut up. And you can watch them get really uncomfortable with it because you can't win it. It's an unwinnable argument. You can't. You can't laugh at it. You can't get mad for somebody saying it. And you can't fight them. It is over. So less you play the gay card before that dude you were fighting with does. Cuz that is a thing. Then you might have to put on a show a little bit for a while and go, you Know, just occasionally around the office. Mention. Did you guys watch my lottery Dream home the other night? I just kind of do some gay stuff. Maybe at the. Maybe accidentally pop your headphones out at your desk and have some dua lipa going pretty damn loud and oh, sorry, everybody listening to dua and then plug your headphones back in it. Maybe he is a homosexual. Rumors are true. But Les always seemed like such a man with his wife and children. And again, if you're like, I'm not doing that homework, then you don't really care to save your job.

[Brett]

That's all there is to this guy mentioned. Well, you better hope that the other guy doesn't listen to if he beats you.

[Brady]

Exactly. Start right away. Let me. Let me just get this off my chest first. I'm sorry for the fight in the parking lot. That was uncalled for, not adult. I just have to say that I'm dealing with a lot personally. The man called me a race or a bigoted slur towards homosexuals. Nobody knows this, but I dabble in the pee pee and just start the whole meeting off with I love puffing on the Peters.

[Eric]

Start off with a little thing when you walk into the office. You know you're getting the talk.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Make sure you have your. You know, if you have drink coffee. Your coffee mug with the logo. Channel.

[Brady]

That's right, logo. Something rainbowy. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. I don't know how much time you got before you have to be to work? Maybe pop over and get yourself a rainbow. Rainbow mug.

[Brett]

Wear a Lady Gaga shirt when you walk in there too.

[Brady]

Let's not go crazy.

[Brett]

Well, how much do you love your job?

[Brady]

Yeah. That is. I don't love any job that much. To support the Gaga. Yuck. Yeah. You know, you can wear your normal Dilbert clothes to work, but that rainbow cup's a good idea. Or maybe just a subtle little rainbow flag on the bottom of your cup. And then if your boss is like, oh. And then he sees that, his eyes will go, oh boy. I got myself as no manager wants to deal with that. That's a hornet's nest.

[Brett]

Roll around on some sisu tree leaves before you walk in the door. I mean, it'd be perfect.

[Brady]

Yes, that's right. Come in smelling like and it'll be perfect. Sorry, I've just. I've had quite a night. Your fingers are a little bit. Get some of that tanner I used last week and just dip the tips of your fingers in it. You're gonna get promoted by the End of this meeting.

[John]

That guy's out.

[Eric]

You're promoted.

[Brady]

Just keep whipping your fingers around it. People smell like Jesus. I know. I haven't even had time to shower this morning. I've been so messy about this whole thing. Smells like a sissy tree, and his fingers are brown. We can't fire him. Yeah, that's it. Good one, Brett. Coming in. If you can rub around in a sissu tree, no one's gonna question it because you're gonna smell like Charlie's at midnight on Saturday. Good luck, Les. Thanks for the email. And I like that you turned to us for your major life problems, but you know what? I think you came to the right place, because that other garbage you'd gotten from Beth or any other chatgpt morning show would have been, you know, if you just unleash your temper and. It's just a parking spot. We get it. We're men. We get it. It's a parking spot. It means something. You don't get much in the world of work. Sometimes you just want your flag planted in one little place. You got yourself a cubicle in a parking spot, and you kind of. You kind of columbused your parking spot, you know, Nobody ever gave it to you. You took it. It's yours. And you've been. This dude tried to swipe it back. He tried to. He tried to columbus you. Now you're playing Indian. So good luck.

[Eric]

All but three in that covered parking are just. People take the same spot every day. Yeah.

[Brady]

And it's weird. The comfort. Like Brett's car has always pointed. I can see it right now pointed directly at me in the second spot from the right. And I don't know why you chose that one. And you used to work overnights. You had every. Every spot available to you.

[Brett]

And I still took that spot over.

[Brady]

That'S been yours since I've known you.

[Brett]

Well, that was the. The main idea with that one, was I could see the car from here. So in the middle of the night. And then it just bled over. Till today.

[Brady]

Like, you just want that spot. That is Brett's. My spot. It is so strange. And when you leave, it becomes someone else's. After lunch. Yeah, someone else owns. It's like a timeshare. Someone else parks there after lunch. And it's every day that spots got somebody in it. It's weird.

[Eric]

Or they take off for the weekend.

[Brady]

Oh, it's so weird. And they Uber from their car. Oh, Brett will just piss himself. Then Brett's got to go in and tell. That's it. I'm a homo. I'm gonna beat the hell out of Moynihan today. Bring on the D. Yeah. Yep. And then I gotta blow a guy to prove it because I'm not losing my job. Yeah. I mean, the obvious answer. I had to tell Brady and Eric this once. All right? We're grown ups. No fighting at work. Of course, that's easy. But sometimes it does happen, and it is a very fireable offense. Like that is a. Especially in this day and age. You're not gonna get away with swinging and punching at each other at work like the olden days when men used to be. All right, break it up, you two. Now get back to work. That wasn't even a meeting. Now it's like we have to have a sit down with Susie and HR to make sure that everybody.

[Eric]

Or they'd go outside and circle up.

[Brady]

Okay?

[Eric]

Go at it. The other co workers watching.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. Like Philo Beto's out there. The best part is we had another situation where this is the same thing. I didn't even think about that. Remember Tom in that meeting downstairs, lost it because someone went in a seat and he said, hey, get out of my seat. Oh, yeah, I can do. Not a seat. There's plenty of seats. And he grabbed the chair and he moved, and then he lost it. And it wasn't even the people in the argument about the chair. It was the other people in the meeting that filed complaints. Like, this is. This is out of control. It's a toxic work environment. Like, everybody's looking for a day off. That's all this is. You file for toxic work. If you throw paperwork in that says a toxic work environment, and you weren't even the target of the toxicity. You're doing the same thing as playing the gay card. You're just. You're manipulating the system. Toxic work environment. There are toxic work environments, but one argument is not a toxic work. Hostile. It's hostile down there. It's hostile. No, it's not. This is. This is hostility to you. You have not seen host. You did not grow up with Dan holmberg in the 80s. You did not. You don't know what hostility is. That dude was crazy tense. So I can handle a little hostility, but, yeah, there you go. Maybe wear a dress to work. Start talking about gender fluidity and identity crisis.

[Eric]

Go all in.

[Brady]

Go all in. Use that third bathroom if you can. You can find that. I was at a place on with Doug Hopkins this weekend, and they had three bathrooms. Doug was all in on that. He goes, finally, I'm home. And then he went right into that weird bathroom. Loved it. He didn't come out for like an hour. We had to go get them. Pretty awesome. Anyway, good luck to you, Les. Let us know how that works out. Cuz if you get fired and you didn't use my method, you have only yourself to blame. This is foolproof, my friend.

[Eric]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[Brady]

I have heard enough of this.