06-05-25 - Channel 3 Also Did The Power Pole Safety Story - More On Thurnberg And Crying - Trump Admin Announces It's Renaming Naval Ships - Wanda Emails Asking How Often Men Look At Porn And We Have Thoughts

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: June 5, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: June 5, 2025

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1. Charity Spotlight: Operation Hydration

[00:51 – 04:57]

John Holmberg kicks off the episode by highlighting the ongoing charity initiative, Operation Hydration, aimed at distributing water to those in need across Phoenix. Brett, one of the show's team members, is actively involved in this effort, stationed at 83rd Avenue and Camelback near Safeway.

• John Holmberg emphasizes the non-competitive nature of charity efforts:

  "Charity has no competition. I don't care who else is doing this. [...] If KSLX has a great water drive and you'd rather give to that, do that."
  (02:50)

• Dick Toledo adds assurance about the transparency of the donations:

  "We know where the water goes."
  (03:21)

The team discusses the importance of supporting local charities like the Phoenix Rescue Mission, emphasizing that regardless of which organization receives donations, the collective effort benefits the community. Brett's dedication is highlighted as he hands out water without expecting anything in return.

• John Holmberg shares a personal commitment:

  "I will personally hand deliver it. I'm a good person, Brady. Deep down."
  (03:48)

2. Power Pole Safety Story

[04:00 – 08:18]

The conversation shifts to a recent news story covered by Channel 3 about safety measures in case a power pole falls on a vehicle during a storm. John expresses skepticism and criticism towards the safety advice provided by the news.

• John Holmberg questions the practicality of leaving the car during such incidents:

  "If your tires are on the ground, you stay put and just thank your lucky stars that a power pole didn't hurt you."
  (06:01)

• Dick Toledo concurs with staying inside the vehicle:

  "I always thought that's what they said to that, like, if you can stay in the car and wait for the utility company to come out or whatever."
  (08:18)

The hosts debate the effectiveness of the advice, with John sharing an anecdote comparing it to the Miracle on the Hudson—where clear instructions might not have been followed in a crisis.

"Nobody sat and said, we might need these. Remembered that their seats are flotation devices because the water was like 2 degrees. It was January."
(07:50)

3. Greta Thunberg and Operation Hydration

[12:00 – 16:00]

The discussion veers into environmental activism, specifically critiquing Greta Thunberg. Brett's efforts with Operation Hydration are humorously likened to Greta's activism, suggesting that while Greta advocates for global changes, Brett is directly involved in local community support.

• John Holmberg jestingly remarks:

  "When they tear down the statues, you lost your minds. Indians probably hate Columbus more than anything in the world."
  (21:13)

• Bret Vesely counters with a sarcastic take on renaming naval ships:

  "The Trump Admin Announces It's Renaming Naval Ships."
  (The topic is discussed around the 16-minute mark)

The hosts mock the administration's decision to rename ships previously honored with names of liberal heroes, including Harvey Milk and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, labeling it an extension of "cancel culture."

"When you see it, there's a lot of man kissing. And I think the Navy's been trying to avoid that reputation for years."
(16:00)

4. Trump Administration Renaming Naval Ships

[16:00 – 28:00]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to critiquing the Trump administration's decision to rename several naval ships that were previously named after prominent liberal and historical figures.

• John Holmberg expresses strong disapproval:

  "It's exactly what they're doing now. The Harvey Milk boat is hilarious to me, but if somebody, yes, that's Milk."
  (19:27)

• Dick Toledo adds:

  "He can't find a job."
  (11:27)

The hosts argue that this renaming is a direct attack on historical figures who contributed positively to society but are targeted due to modern political shifts. They liken the removal of these names to the controversial removal of Confederate statues, suggesting a double standard.

"Harriet Tubman can have a boat. Harvey Milk can have a boat. And you're just like, ugh. You don't have to like everybody who's got a boat named after him in the Navy."
(20:24)

Additionally, the hosts humorously suggest renaming all naval vessels after prominent gay figures to further mock the administration's policy.

"Navy gay boats. I mean, if I was in the Navy, I'm like, you're on the Harvey Milk, God damn it."
(26:57)

5. Listener Interaction: Wanda's Email on Men's Porn Consumption

[28:00 – 38:44]

Listener Wanda reaches out with questions about men's porn consumption habits, sparking a candid and humorous discussion among the hosts.

• Wanda's Inquiry:

  "How often does the average guy watch porn or short clips of porn?"
  (29:17)

• John Holmberg responds with his perspective:

  "Men watch porn or porn clips a few times a week. I'm in my 50s."

(30:03)

• Bret Vesely (likely meant to be Brad Bogan, given the context) chimes in:

  "Not all women. Women like porn."
  (30:23)

The conversation highlights differing viewpoints on the role of porn in relationships, societal impacts, and personal habits. They discuss the evolution from traditional magazines to digital platforms and the accessibility of porn through modern technology.

• John Holmberg muses on technology advancements driven by porn:

  "They transitioned from flip phones to smartphones so they could watch porn. That's exactly it."

(30:22)

The hosts share anecdotes about their experiences with porn, including past segments like "Pause and Toss," where they reviewed movie scenes for their adult content.

"The reason that I invented that was the movie Jade, right, with Angie."
(40:04)

They humorously explore the challenges and personal reflections on maintaining healthy relationships amidst the prevalence of accessible porn.

6. Other Discussions

[38:44 – 53:46]

Beyond the main topics, the episode includes a variety of additional discussions and humorous exchanges:

• Crying and Emotions:
  The hosts delve into societal perceptions of men showing emotions, referencing Rocky III and public figures like Sly Stallone to illustrate their points.

  "Crying shows a lack of control."

(10:47)

• Local News Satire:
  John criticizes the local news's unconventional weather presenters, specifically mocking a news anchor with lobster hands, blending absurd humor with commentary on media practices.

  "They had a lobster girl. Just come up with the machinery to get people's interest."

(51:30)

• Movie References and Anecdotes:
  The hosts recount personal interactions with celebrities and humorous takes on movie scenes, blending personal stories with broader societal commentary.

  "She was like, how did you lose your virginity? And she more than happily told us the story of what a wonderful experience."

(40:04)

• Promoting Local Businesses and Events:
  Ads and promotions for local businesses like Wise Coatings, Stand Up Live, and Action Ride Shop are interspersed throughout, maintaining the show's local engagement.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• John Holmberg on Charity:

  "Charity has no competition. [...] If everyone’s doing good, it doesn't matter whose banner is over it."
  (02:50)

• Dick Toledo on Donation Transparency:

  "We know where the water goes."
  (03:21)

• John Holmberg on Power Pole Safety:

  "If your tires are on the ground, you stay put and just thank your lucky stars that a power pole didn't hurt you."
  (06:01)

• John Holmberg on Renaming Ships:

  "Harriet Tubman can have a boat. Harvey Milk can have a boat."
  (20:24)

• John Holmberg on Men's Porn Habits:

  "Men watch porn or porn clips a few times a week. I'm in my 50s."
  (30:03)

• John Holmberg on Local News Satire:

  "They had a lobster girl. Just come up with the machinery to get people's interest."
  (51:30)

Conclusions and Insights

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness encapsulates a blend of local community support through Operation Hydration, sharp critiques of media and political actions, and candid discussions on sensitive topics like pornography and emotional expression. The hosts leverage humor and personal anecdotes to engage listeners, offering both entertainment and social commentary. Their interactions highlight a commitment to local issues, support for charitable causes, and a willingness to address controversial topics with a mix of seriousness and levity.

For those not familiar with the podcast, this episode offers a snapshot of community-oriented discussions, sharp political satire, and open conversations about personal and societal challenges, all delivered with the signature wit and dynamic interplay of the 98KUPD team.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

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[John Holmberg]

Time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Check out hilarious comedian Brian Simpson and Tempe at the Improv. Doing sets for you, the lovely and very funny Gina. Brian entertains you at the Desert Ridge Improv. And very good friend of the show, the one and only Christopher Titus performs all week for you at Stand Up Live. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com Humbug's Morning Sickness. You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself. He's evil sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. There you go. Thanks. Miles to Nowhere. That's Katie and Hobbs. They're our theme song for the first six months and last six months of this glorious year. And we're already halfway through that. It is time to talk about Operation Hydration. Brett is in the van. He's on his way. Oh, he's. Brett is doing his version of Greta Thunberg today. He's. He's in the sailboat. He's going to a dangerous place. He's in Maryvale and he does it for you. 83rd Avenue and Camelback at the Safeway today. I don't think that's so bad. Brett's worried that it's too close to Maryville, which is something he's scared of. Not scared, but avoid scared of it. And he's going out there this morning. He's going to be out there any minute now. 83rd Avenue and Camelback. He's going to have everything out there. Summer of Loud tour tickets are in his hand. That's July 1st. Volbeat is coming here on my birthday and it's my birthday. My birthday alone. Anyone else that's different is lying. If you celebrate on July 26, you're just celebrating my birthday and pretending it's yours. Volbeat is that talking stick resort on my birthday. That's awesome. He's got those tickets, KUPD stuff. And all you have to do is go down there, say hi to Brett. You can sign up for all that stuff. You don't even have to give water. But what kind of person stops by there and doesn't donate water? For our friends at the Phoenix Rescue Mission doing great work. Now, I've seen this, and I've said it a million times. Charity has no competition. I don't care who else is doing this. Channel 3 is doing a water drive for the Salvation Army. I'm fine with that. Give to that if you like that better. I know that makes the Phoenix Rescue Mission go well. Look, if, if everybody's doing good, it doesn't matter whose banner is over it. If KSLX has a great water drive and you'd rather give to that, do that. I don't compete for, for anybody's charity. That's not the point of it. And I've seen the ugly side of that in the past where I don't mention the other people. No, they're doing the exact same damn thing. It's all good. Phoenix Rescue Mission is the one we choose because we really like them. They're great people. They're doing great stuff.

[Toledo]

We know where the water goes.

[John Holmberg]

We know exactly where it goes. And I'm pretty sure all the other ones have good intentions. So if you, if you feel like giving water to something else, don't feel obligated to be, you know, forced to, to do it our way, but it sure is an easy way to do it. Safeway helps out with that. You can go over there and the Phoenix Rescue Mission is amazing. So trying to get to a million bottles. So it's going to be tougher if you start handing it out to everybody else. But you know what? Do it all on different, different groups. Help out everybody. I got no problem. This city needs water. 5th largest city in America. No one should ever die because they're don't have a glass of water in their hands unless you're hiking or you're being silly. They're hanging out in the heat. But these are people who, you know, have no choice. They're outside all the time. They're, they're in tough situations and just handing out water. I'm going out on a, on a Drive with the Phoenix rescue mission in a couple weeks. Handing out water with them? No, it's just pretty cool. Just in there, like, you just got to see how, you know, how the operation works and how grateful everybody is, and I can only imagine. So we'll take some of this water, you guys donate, and I will personally hand deliver it. I'm a good person, Brady. Deep down.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And when I'm not, I pay. 83rd Avenue and Camelback. That's where you go. Operation Hydration is happening. Brett will be out there this morning at the Safeway. Knock him dead with your glorious donations. And always. You know, he's Italian. You're on the west side. Little envelope of cash. You don't have to do any work. Brett will do it for you. Get a leg, man. Name is Brett Fessley. That's right. Keep it safe. Stay in your car. I heard that is a bad idea when there's a power pole on it. But, you know, when there's Brett and Maryvale nearby. Envelope out the windows. The proper way to go.

[Toledo]

Shuffle to Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, get out of your car and shuffle the Brett. Most of the time, people shuffling to Brett are shackled up because they're being loaded up to a court hearing. Evidently, that story I said was the world's dumbest news story was also on Channel 3 last night, which is the what to do in case a power pole falls on your car in the midst of a horrible storm. Again, 52 years old. I've never heard of that in this city. Now, I understand power poles can fall, but if they fall on your car. I'm an atheist, but if a power pole falls on my car, I think I might pray for a second just in case. It's like, thank you so much. Whatever. Just stop that a la Jesus, Ganesh. I don't know who. Thank you. That was an amazing thing. And I'm just gonna sit tight in my car and wait for somebody who knows what they're doing to at least turn this thing off. I'm not getting out because there's rubber on the road that. I've always been told that rubber on the road is grounded almost at all times. Right. Like, if one of my wheels is off the ground, I'm still grounded.

[Toledo]

That's what I thought.

[John Holmberg]

If two are off now, I'm conducting electricity, I think. I don't know how all that works. I'm not a science. I'd have to call Bill Nye, but I'm pretty sure if your tires are on the ground, you stay put and just thank your lucky stars that a power pole didn't hurt you. You know what it reminds me of? The. It's the drawing in the airplane when they say, in case of a water landing, which is a crash. Water landings aren't a thing in passenger jets. Case of a water landing. And then they show the people floating, smiling on the drawings. And the little cardboard thing. Back of their seats, they're all fine. They get the back of their seats, they're all locked in, their hair isn't even wet. But they had a water landing. And as I saw that for years, I used to laugh at it. Jay Leno used to do a big, long bit about it. And then that Sully Sullenberger made it a reality. I went, God damn it, that might be real, but you know what nobody had in the water landing in the Hudson that no one ever talks about? Not one person brought their floaty seat with them. Did you notice that? And the miracle on the Hudson, they just got out. Nobody sat and said, we might need these. Remembered that their seats are flotation devices because the water was like 2 degrees. It was January. But no one. No one was gonna help. Nah. No, it wasn't iced up too badly at all, really. It was just freezing cold water. And they stood there and, like, we seem to be floating. I think this is gonna be a boat for a while. And nobody had their flotation devices. No one. So that whole thing about in case of a water. Sully actually did a water landing, and everybody's like, just get out and stand on it. But what are. The thing says to grab our seat and float around. I'm not getting in that water if I don't have to. I'm gonna stand on top of this plane till it sinks. Yeah, that's what I. Dumbest story I've ever heard. Guy says, I can tell you right now, even if there is a suspicion at all of electricity live, you're not supposed to get out of your car. Your tires are best. Best insulation you've got. Unless it's straight up on fire, the car is the safest place you can be. I agree with that completely.

[Toledo]

I always thought that's what they said to that, like, if you can stay in the car and wait for the utility company to come out or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

And wait for someone who knows what they're doing. And you just watch those fire whip lines. I've seen that on tv. A power pole went down and they tell everybody, just get away. And it's whipping all over. If you're close to it. Stay put. Try not to get hit by the whippy line if you're in a car. Seems like that's the. Like the last thing I want to do is this mortal coil go wandering around in a storm that's tearing down power lines. Terrible information and I don't know how it works but I don't rubber ground you. I think that's why your shoes are good. Says the tires insulate you from being grounded. You're floating on non conductive item that won't hit the grounded power line. You had the right idea. Rubbers also keep your penis from being attacked by the power lines of a woman. It's the exact same thing. Is that why we wear rubbers is to avoid electric shock to stay grounded in sexual activities. Thank you, Adam. Adam knows his science. We also talked about people crying and somebody said with all due respect, John, a man crying sometimes is okay. Stallone, Rocky 3, Mickey dies. Yeah, I said it. When there's death or like a dog or Brian Piccolo. Brian Piccolo and oh, Brian Song Khan and Billy Dee are in there and Billy Dee just starts balling when your boy dies. We got a dog or a family member or even a wife. It's sad. Yeah. So it's all right when Stallone died or when Mickey died in, in Rocky 3. It was, it was a. It was a good sob. A good. Paula Proc, who hates Toledo said, I worked in HR for years and I would tell a woman, the second you start crying telling this story, your credibility is shot. You seem like an emotional lunatic. P.S. my goal is to make Toledo cry in the next week or so. So keep your eyes open. Paula the Toledo hater. That's true and I agree with that completely. If you start weeping while you're complaining about what's going on and it wasn't a physical assault, it's just something you don't like. You're unhinged. Yeah. Crying is. Shows a lack of control.

[Toledo]

That's why I do it in private.

[John Holmberg]

I always cry in private in your closet. Like a man in the corner naked. Usually masturbating. It's not Saturday.

[Toledo]

Every once in a while TV show or something.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you'll get. Look.

[Toledo]

Oh geez.

[John Holmberg]

When something's trying to make you cry, that's a thing like oh boy. And it touches. Usually it's like for you it's probably a dog or your dad or you know, family. Yeah, yeah. And that's. Those are tears of joy. But you're not going to just start thinking about it at Lunch with me and start crying. Like, what's going on, Brady? I just started thinking about Kirby, man. This 17 years is just. Well, all right. He's lost it. We gotta get out of here.

[Toledo]

He can't find a job.

[John Holmberg]

Did you just think yourself into crying with people who aren't related to what's going on? Oh, boy. I'm gonna go sit somewhere else.

[Toledo]

I just think of, you know, he's. He was an emotional guy, and one once or twice is okay, but John Boehner went to the well too many times.

[John Holmberg]

No, first time he started crying. Just talking about the flag. We're like, this dude's unhinged. Like, this is. If this gets you, like, okay.

[Toledo]

It caught him. Something's okay.

[John Holmberg]

Cool. What happens when there's real trouble? That's what I want to know. When I see a person who cries over something small, I'm like, what happens when it gets big? They don't have the ability to control it. Here. Talking about eagles. And then he sings. Passion. I get passionate. But if you can't control yourself from, like, not. Not just a tear running down your cheek, that's. That's almost manly. Like, when you sit there, go, this means something to me. You see that powerful steel tear roll down a man's cheek, and you're like, God damn it. And he kept it together. But when Vayner started and he start making that noise, you're like, what happens when there's real trouble? Like, you can't even talk about eagles without kind of losing control. What happens when real stuff starts going like, you're just gonna ball up.

[Toledo]

Look how viral that Crying Jordan.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious, man. Because it was so funny. And in that moment, crying Jordan, like, he had every right. Like, I think there was a lot going on. There was. There's a lot happening at that time. This one says, John, what would you rather do, Go sailing with the Swedish Doom Goblin or cruise on the Dolly steamboat? Mike Stevens, man. Well, the Swedish Doom Goblin goes to beautiful locations. The Dolly steamboat just floats around Canyon Lake once. Like, so you get one lap of Canyon Lake, which, by the way, looks pretty much the same on the first 30ft as it does the last 30ft, and that's three hours later. There's not a lot of geographic changes. And also, it's not that big a lake. So when you're on the one side doing the lap, you can look over and see where you're gonna be real clear. It's not far off. It's not like Lake Michigan, where you can't See the other end.

[Toledo]

I came close to the Dolly steamboat.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Toledo]

If you remember. But a couple weeks ago.

[John Holmberg]

Geez.

[Toledo]

Was it Dick Neuheisel, Celebration of Life.

[John Holmberg]

They were going to do that on the Dolly.

[Toledo]

The band played that song.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. I love you, Arizona. Yeah.

[Toledo]

I think it was a guy. I think it was the. The original.

[John Holmberg]

It could be morning sickness. Medicate KUPD Holmberg's morning sickness. The Doom Goblin goes on nice trips. Her destination sucked. But that. That sailing from Sweden to Palestine. That's. That's a beautiful. That's a nice boat ride until the end and then you got all that milk and stuff.

[Toledo]

That's a good time of year.

[John Holmberg]

It's a really beautiful. Yeah, look. She didn't do it in December. Notice this is all for travel. Thunberg's in it for herself. So that's a. This is a. This is the time to. To tour the coast of Europe. Think of that. It's beautiful the whole way. And the further south you get, the better it gets. Ibiza. I don't even know why that's sexy to say, but it's a But if you look at.

[Toledo]

If they needed supplies right away, she's.

[John Holmberg]

She's killing them.

[Toledo]

Saying I'm not doing the carbon footprint.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

I'm not jetting that over quicker.

[John Holmberg]

You'll get my donation in a few weeks. Yeah. In the meantime, babies that need this formula that she's got. She's sailing. She's got Christopher Cross on the race. Takes me away to where I'm going. Yeah. The Swedish Doom Goblin gets the win on that one. Dolly steamboat will take a. I'll go to. I'd rather sail to Palestine from anywhere from Antarctica in December than I would that Dolly steamboat again. That is it.

[Toledo]

If you're talking the same time frame. Yeah. You know like you get your three.

[John Holmberg]

Hour tour on the steamboat with the.

[Toledo]

Goblin or the steamboat.

[John Holmberg]

Gilligan's three hour tour was better than the steamboat. They probably advertise. I'll probably end up paying for that. But whatever. I don't care. I'm keeping people safe. That's all I care about.

[Toledo]

I'd like to hear that commercial on our station.

[John Holmberg]

The Dolly Steamboat.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Are you guys suicidal? Let's suggest one thing. Okay. There's another thing that's going on right here that I think is nuts to be. To be fair to the people who can't hear you. Bash. Greta Thunberg without thinking that you love the Trump administration. I don't even know where you drew those lines, but I got A couple of those emails yesterday, they started to take names off of boats that they didn't agree with. Like Harvey Milk. Got a boat named after him.

[Toledo]

Or it was. It wasn't named after him. It was just taken off the table, wasn't it?

[John Holmberg]

Well, they said they're going to rename other ships named for liberal heroes. So vessels christened to honor Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Harriet Tubman, Cesar Chavez, and Harvey Milk are going to be renamed or stripped of that honor. The. The name of trailblazing LGBT plus activist Harvey Milk is going to have his name taken off of US Navy vessel, followed by the renaming of many more ships. And that, to me, just means that Pete Hegseth saw the movie Milk, because when you see it, there's a lot of man kissing. And I think the Navy's been trying to avoid that reputation for years and years. So the Harriet Tubman thing, I don't get. And, you know, a couple others, I don't know. There's no real need to do that. But we've learned over the last 20 years of look, and this is the problem I have with the group of saying anti woke. Don't cancel culture. This thing. This is exactly what they're doing now. You're canceling Harvey Milk because you don't like him. You're canceling woke. Just let it go. Somebody else did it. They honored somebody you don't like. It's the same exact argument of people saying, why are there statues of Confederate soldiers? Why? Because they don't like them. But when they tore down the statues, you lost your minds. Indians probably hate Columbus more than anything in the world. When they tore the statues down, we lost our minds. So now tear your names away from the other side is the exact same thing. The Harvey Milk boat is hilarious to me, but if somebody, yes, that's Milk. Yeah. If someone along the lines was, yeah, yes, that's Milk. I mean, that is like, the gayest boat ever is such a gay boat. And Navy gay boats. I mean, if I was in the Navy, I'm like, you're on the Harvey Milk, God damn it. I'm already getting enough heat for my friends of being a Navy guy. I gotta dress up like the crackerjack kid and get on the Milk. Stationed on the Milk for a little bit. And it's one of the smaller boats. And I watched the movie too.

[Toledo]

There's less semen on the boat.

[John Holmberg]

There's not a lot of semen on the Milk. I watched that. Look, the biggest insult to Harvey Milk was naming a Small boat after him. The dude was a size queen. It's in the movie. So name the aircraft carrier after him. And whoever's in charge gets to do that. And then somebody else is in charge and they should leave it because it's just going to keep its ping pong now. Well, you didn't like that? We'll name some of the next guys in charge. They're going to name everything after Milk. And then the next guy will come in. It's just this constant battle of dumb. Harriet Tubman can have a boat. Harvey Milk can have a boat. And you're just like, ugh. You don't have to like everybody who's got a boat named after him in the Navy. That's just silly. But Harvey Milk should have an aircraft carrier or a destroyer named after him because he was a size queen, Period. End of story. Little boat. That's offensive. That's more offensive to him than it is anyone else.

[Toledo]

Can we keep it to states? You have the, you know, USS Arizona and you got.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, can't we do that? That's a good idea. Like. Well, those are the big boys, though. And then presidents and stuff like that. But then, you know, this is. This is a never ending domino of dumb. I don't like Harvey Milk. So he doesn't get the USNS Harvey Milk, but yeah, Thurgood Marshall. They're taking his boat name away. That's not right. Well, you're doing that because he's black. No, because it's woke. I'm like, yeah, but they named it. But they only named it after him because he's black. And you're taking it away because he's black. So just leave it alone. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. What did she do? She's a woman. Pretty good one though, right? Yeah, but they only did it because she's a woman. I don't know, maybe some accomplishments, too. Is it because she's so far left? I mean, she seems to have done some good things.

[Toledo]

I think it would be, yeah. I mean, if you're on the boat, if you're on the USS rbg, that sounds a lot better than rbg.

[John Holmberg]

Solid. Who's this named after? Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I'm not fighting on that. I mean, kind of represents an awful lot of good about our country to have the rbg. You don't have to agree with how she did her job, but, you know, just because she had a different opinion going through doesn't mean she can't have stuff named after the usns. Medgar Evers. I mean there's a few reaches, there's a few political bombs out there. But you know what? Leave them alone. You canceling names for the sake of canceling names is the same as the people you hate doing it. Remember when we went through that big stretch where they were going street by street here in the city saying can't have a name after that guy. And it was up on 23rd street and like by Piesta Piasta Peak, you know, they start getting into things. You gotta cancel that. Cause I don't like it. And then another group comes in. So I'm cancel the stuff you like.

[Brady Bogan]

Then that was adjacent to the Confederacy. We can't have that.

[John Holmberg]

That was right? Yeah. They had that one guy who was. Evidently they had something like, like Stuart Road. No one even knew until he was. Somebody got mouthy. And so this, you know, is named after guys Confederate. I didn't know that. I just thought it was Stuart Road. I knew a dude named Stewart. I asked him, I don't know Ray Road up there. And they could have, there could have been, I'm sure 100% across the board. A few of the Ray family were pricks. There's no family that gets off scot free. Every road that Dobson. Probably a few Dobsons that were just animals. Just horrible. You'd be changing everything. So the Harvey Milk is a tough one for the navy. But at the very least name a big boat after him because the dude liked it large. Watch the movie. He wanted a big one. And in fact I have gay neighbors and I have never heard one of them say we prefer it little. Almost all of them like a big one. They're the only honest dick assessors. Women lie. Yours is perfect. Everybody says, oh yeah, that's great. And it's. Size doesn't matter unless it's too big or too small. Then size matters. Well, you know what I mean. So it's all subjective to you. I get it. Gays are like, I just want a big honker in me. Like they don't. They just want big ones. That's it. Size queens. I went to that, that, that theater gala with my gay neighbors and they do a thing at the end where they're kind of like give you a little teaser of all the productions that are coming up with the, the company, they call it the group of actors that have been hired for that season. And one of the guys came out and for no reason at all in the midst of this thing they were doing, which seemed to be setting in a diner and they had written this entire deal for an honor they give away every year at the gala. They give away an honor to people who donate and they give them an award. But before, they give them like a two minute little presentation as if it's a play about you. So if Toledo was to donate hundreds of thousands of dollars, they'd be like, golly gee. And then they kind of give your resume.

[Brady Bogan]

Dad walking away.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and they. Exactly. They're like, he had a rough start. Like, they'll tell your story through play. Well, in the last one, and I think it was for somebody Herbergery. Lot of dough. Might have been for Artie Moreno's family. They always give the same awards out. Or some robeson lady, I don't know. There was a lot of people I'd heard of but didn't really know. This kid comes out in ballet pants and his dork is massive. And he walks across the stage and you hear me in the crowd go, what the hell's going on here? Like, everybody else is in pants and for no reason. This dude comes into the diner like Baryshnikov. Not Baryshnikov. Is that the dancer? Is that the Russian leader? Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I was thinking of. Thinking of Brezhnev. Thinking of Brezhnev. Who else? Baryshnikov. So he's walking and he's got a hog on him. It's huge. And Michael and Troy, my neighbors, like, oh. Immediately they see this and it sets off. Like the way fire alarms set each other off. Gays do the same thing. When one gay awes, they all kind of hone in on that. So when you have the electric fire alarm, so when it goes off in the guest room will cue the one in the other rooms. And they all start going off. All the gays, nobody's paying attention to the words. They just see this kid traipsing back and forth on the stage with this huge hog. It's a dong, a lance they love. Not one of them was like, gross. Like, they all loved it. And at the theater gala, there's a lot of gays and they all made a noise towards that thing because their internal humongous D alarms went off, guys. And then they couldn't stop giggling. I'm like, michael and Troy act like men, damn it. Find it in you to go, oh, just quit looking at it. Can't help it. So they like them big. You can't give Harvey Milk a little boat. That was offensive. When I saw the boat that he.

[Toledo]

Had, like a TT Cruiser. Or something.

[John Holmberg]

That's a car. That's like the PTO Pito 109. Yeah, the old. No, look, it's just. It is sort of a PT boat. It's tiny. That's the milk boat. That's. That's offensive to a gay. You can't name a tiny little boat after a gay. After a prominent day, he gets a big one because that's what he'd want. So Hegseth going around doing that. I started laughing at that. I'm like, jesus Christ. Silly. But there's nothing you can do about it. People lose their minds over silly stuff. And then one side says, I can't stand cancel culture. I can't stand it. I hate it with a passion. By the way, taking away all these names we don't like. I'm like, well, that's the same. Same damn thing. Now ours has a merit because it was based in wokeism. I'm like, nah, canceling something is canceling something. Knock it off. We got bigger fish to fry. We're on the precipice of World War Three and we're. We're mad about the milk boat. Stop it. You know what? I've said it for years. The milk boat shoots down a load of baddies. It's a great boat. There's nothing to do with who it's named after. It's not like. It's not like we just do a bunch of flitty homosexuals that are scared of war and the only ones allowed and they're still well trained Navy officers that we just don't go down to Charlie's here on 7th and say, all right, who wants to ride in the milk boat? They're all going to raise their hand and then realize you put them to war. They're going to lose. They're going to all cry and scream.

[Toledo]

These are those other countries that will put it on a higher target though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And tell you right now, the other countries aren't going to be like, oh, there's an American boat. Who's it named after?

[Toledo]

We're taking the milk out.

[John Holmberg]

It's named after that queer councilman. We don't have anything to worry about. There. Still filled with ammunition. In fact, we should name all of our boats after, like, Liberace and like, gay stuff. Make all the other countries go. Their boats are all gay. Because other countries still haven't adapted to the idea that that. Can they still kill you? Morning sickness. 98 Kupd Holmberg's morning sickness. Name our missiles after gay stuff. Deep Throat Missiles. And like everything we have is like a disgusting. Because we're mainly fighting with the Middle East. Right? That's who we usually kind of end up. They hate gays. So if you start hitting them with Harvey Milk and Liberace, it's going to double down on how much they can't stand us. If we blast you and win with the SS Milk. Oh, man, that's salt in the wound right there.

[Toledo]

Hit hard by two Hudson missiles.

[John Holmberg]

Who's Hudson? The dance. Oh, oh, I was thinking of the tap dancers. Rock Hudson's. Yeah. Well, you got to call it the whole name. The Rock Hudson. The closeted Rock Hudson boat. I want like the Richard Simmons, the Peewee Herman. I want they know you're gay. Barry Manilow, the Elton John name. I don't care. They're from the states. Yeah, the RuPaul name everything that just makes the Middle east just cringe. Their boats are super duper powerful and named after queers. They'd lose their minds. But it just seems silly. I shouldn't have days off. I start thinking, too much time with your time. Just looking, just going, what's going on? This email says, hello, John. I need a man's honest opinion. And you'll do. Ha ha. I love your show. You make me laugh. Thank you. My husband passed away in 2023. I don't mean to be rude, because that's a tough sentence, but passed in the situation is passed. Yeah. Not past my husband.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe he's just away.

[John Holmberg]

Past. He passed away. I don't know that. From before. He died in 2023. And the laughs keep me going. Your impersonations are great. Oh, you're too kind, Wanda. But I'm taken. And now that you're available, you can't start hitting on me. Here's my question. How often does the average guy watch porn or short clips of porn? I was having a debate with one of my girlfriends, and she said that if a guy and a girl are in a healthy relationship, he shouldn't watch at all. And I say men watch porn or porn clips a few times a week. I'm in my 50s. I know past my prime. She's in her 40s. And what started the debate was I said that I felt that I was the only reason my husband, 11 years older than me, and his school friends, went from flip phones to smartphones was so they could watch porn. That's exactly it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it isn't why we went to it, it's why the world went to it. So we could watch videos Faster. I don't think it matters if they're in a healthy relationship or not. Guys like to view or enjoy looking at porn. Now some guys don't like porn. Brady's not a porn guy. But that's because he grew up in the era of Sears magazines and imagination. And you stuck to it. And I gotta hand it to you, it's hard.

[Brady Bogan]

Not all women.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

Women like porn.

[John Holmberg]

We like it more. Oh, absolutely. You know, it's hard to find a female based porn video that you're like, you know, my chicken loves applying. Very rarely do you watch that and go, we should watch this together. This looks. She'd like this one.

[Brady Bogan]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Only fans, they don't seek it out like we seek it out. And what they seek out is real pansy ass stuff, you know, like kissing Bridgerton. Yeah, they got that. That's girl porn. Like they're still blown away at 50 shades of gray. Brady's way is very difficult in this modern era. The convenience of porn, if you're going to. Because everybody touches it, everybody gives their horn a tug. But if you're going to do it off. Imagination. Good on you, son. I'm impressed. That's hard. Now I don't even know if I could still do that. Could I do imagination tugs?

[Brady Bogan]

Just you remember the collections of porn that we not only got from listeners. Remember we were collecting it for a while and the giant duffel bag of.

[John Holmberg]

Porn that we weren't collecting it for a while.

[Toledo]

You could do it.

[Brady Bogan]

No, we were taking the donations, weren't we? At the, at the van.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

That was. No, another thing.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody dropped a ton off.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what it was.

[John Holmberg]

And Brady had it and he threw it away.

[Brady Bogan]

We had a bunch of it. No, Eric, rest.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, he threw it away.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, I thought he rescued it.

[John Holmberg]

He tried to rescue a bunch of it and Brady threw it. Brady. Brady had thrown it out.

[Brady Bogan]

Whose duffel bag was in the office then at the old building?

[John Holmberg]

That was some guy dropped off a bunch.

[Brady Bogan]

That was a big.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm not taking gently used pornographic magazines. No, that's staying in a duffel bag. But yeah. How often does a guy do that? Every week? I don't know. The average dude. Once, twice a week. And at least probably I'm saying average. There's dudes who don't. Dudes who do too much. Somewhere in the middle, aged two and three. I'd say that's pretty. Twice a week. Probably the average. She's asking.

[Brady Bogan]

Seeking out porn or just.

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm Just a little short clip of porn. Give yourself a tug. Yeah, but I don't think a lot of dudes aren't. Are nowadays. I got to wonder what percentages of dudes who do that without the help of the phone.

[Brady Bogan]

Just get a Twitter or an Instagram account. They'll pop up in your feed.

[John Holmberg]

Porn.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brady Bogan]

Not on Instagram, but. But Twitter for sure. Your girl, she calls herself the semen demon.

[John Holmberg]

My girl. First off, a second ago, he had me collecting tons of porn, and now it's my girl, the semen demon.

[Brady Bogan]

Like what Kimmy Granger is that?

[John Holmberg]

She's not my girl. She belongs to the world. Okay, am I familiar with Kimmy Granger? Yes. But that was years ago. She's, like 38 years old.

[Toledo]

Yes, I did, sure, but that's.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna hear most of the time, Brady. You're going to hear a name from porn. From somebody in this room. Yeah, yeah. And I'm familiar with a few of them, but, no, she's not my girl.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm just saying, if you.

[John Holmberg]

That's weird.

[Brady Bogan]

You look up one of those girls on your Twitter account and your feed will be there. You won't have to.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But here's the thing. I don't.

[Toledo]

Battleship name.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the Kimmy Granger. Hey, look.

[Brady Bogan]

Or semen demon. Semen demon.

[John Holmberg]

Semen demon. Spelled sea. Our navy ships should all be semen demons. But anyway, I digress. Nobody's ever gonna see the Kimmy Granger video and go, that's John's girl. Stop Toledo. My girl. Remember when we were collecting all that porn? No. Remember that? Your girl, what's her name? The semen demon? Yeah, that's right. That's moron.

[Brady Bogan]

Saying it happen.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't happen. She's not my girl. She's. She's available to the masses.

[Brady Bogan]

One of your faves. All right, fine.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no.

[Brady Bogan]

However you want.

[John Holmberg]

Not one of my faves. She's a. She's an actress who I've. I've pleasured myself to. There are thousands of them. None of them my girls. She doesn't know me. I can't take claim for that. I told you. Hey, if you're interested in a good tug, Kimmy's videos are pretty fun. And then there was one that got a little out of hand with her stepbrother where she actually started to cry and scream. No. And I'm like, this isn't supposed to be a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Wait a minute. Oh, yeah, the wall came down a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

Or it was her Acting got real good, and she started to scream, stop. No, Stop. This. This is wrong. And he kept going, and it got real violent, and she started to cry. And I finished up and towel down. And I'm like, I don't think I want this one again. But I did archive it. It's in there just in case. Well, I wanted to show other people, like, does this look real to you or sweet?

[Brady Bogan]

Come back in a different emotional state to see if it has the same effect.

[John Holmberg]

So we call the authorities. This looks serious. This looks like I should be watching masturbate. But, yeah, I don't know. Twice a week, I guess that's probably average, but, yeah, most. I think most people. And again, you're right. The flip phone went to the iPhone for the reason of videos. And the reason that videos got so good is porn. Porn was the catalyst, as it almost always is, in the advancement of technology. The desire to watch porn faster was pushed by porn because we had the capabilities of doing so. So they said if they just had better mechanisms to watch it, we can now push it quicker.

[Brady Bogan]

Hold on a second, John.

[John Holmberg]

Fast.

[Brady Bogan]

You still call that man across from you a friend? This man who C blocks you from porn stars, and then you're telling me he throws away free porn? Mdf, man, get out of the studio now.

[John Holmberg]

Fairness. Brady never blocked me from a porn star. It was Larry and Brady's excuse, although very right, still did not make Brady right. He's not gonna do anything with her. Still was no excuse for him to go over and wreck what Larry was trying to accomplish, which was smoke weed with BB Jones and then possibly see her naked in his house. Brady wrecked that. Since we're handing out phone numbers, just any Joe that asks. I got a restaurant you should pop over to. Why don't you give me those digits too, there, sister? That was an immediate C block. It destroyed Larry in a huge way. You can't have two guys asking one girl for a number next to each other just isn't a thing. He wasn't doing anything with her. Yeah, you're not wrong. But still, you could have cornered her later when he wasn't just standing there feeling pretty good. I mean, took the wind out of his sails there, but. Yeah, I don't know the. I don't know the rules on porn or any of that. I just know twice a week's reasonable. And it has changed the game. I don't know. And it's not. It's not what used to be. I used to just see a picture of somebody's butt. And you're like, all right, I'm taking this one. And remember the spank bank?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was. I just put. That was your brain. It was just a catalog of things you kept in your brain for later.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. That's what, like crated porn was.

[John Holmberg]

That was dolphin shorts when somebody walked by and dolphins were like, oh, my God. Yeah, I'm gonna remember that. And now it's just everything still. Just imagination mostly, pretty much. No kidding. Do you ever lean on anything as far as, like, man, it's not working. You ever go to the phone?

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So you've. You've adapted a little. You kind of. Yes. Pornhub. Yeah. Yeah. And you have any favorite sites? Anything? You're like, whatever pops up first.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You front page it. Scan a few, scroll a couple. I like her on top. I'm gonna go. This is the one.

[Brady Bogan]

Their suggestions are usually pretty solid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Do you scrub Senxx Sure. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, once you're on their rhythm, do you scrub to the scene that you like or do you let it play?

[Toledo]

I look at duration. Like, if it's 12 minutes too long.

[John Holmberg]

But you can get to it. Like, you can cut it, edit to six minutes. Like you're. Yeah. I don't think you're the type of guy that likes watching oral.

[Brady Bogan]

I think.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I think you just explained scrubbing to him.

[John Holmberg]

I think you guys are like, let's just get right on top here. Come on, bounce, is what Brady says. I don't think you're sitting there spending a lot of time watching, you know, the other stuff, the build ups.

[Toledo]

Sometimes it's a hassle and overwhelming.

[John Holmberg]

How so?

[Toledo]

Just because it's all. There's so many, oh, so many choices.

[John Holmberg]

Different.

[Toledo]

Like, where do you go?

[Brady Bogan]

It's like, paradox. I'm not a choice.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Like Netflix. You've got too much to think about. Usually just revert back to what you're familiar with, which is the paradox of choice. That's why Kimmy Granger became kind of a common thing. Like, look at all these choices. Well, I just better go to the one I know because otherwise I'm going to be overwhelmed.

[Brady Bogan]

Come on, guys. I look at some every day. Now, I don't handle myself every time, but I do look every day. And relationship health has nothing to do with.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

I like naked chicks. I like naked chicks.

[John Holmberg]

And that's something women need to realize. When you met every guy in your life, one thing we all have in common. We all like naked women. We like pretty naked women. That's something when you. And that's not going to change just because we met you. That just doesn't go away. That's something we can't shake. Sean Rockefeller, our blind listener, says, I'm on pornhub two or three times a week and I've got no eyesight. Sometimes it just sounds like a boot stuck in the mud, and I get it up. Got a different need.

[Brady Bogan]

John, remind that lady that you guys used to do an entire segment for years called the Pause and Toss.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, the Pause and Toss, where I would tell you about regular movies with great scenes that you could pause.

[Brady Bogan]

That you could get away with started.

[John Holmberg]

The reason that I invented that was the movie Jade, right, With Angie.

[Toledo]

Ever felt guilty?

[John Holmberg]

I didn't feel guilty. I know when I met her, I did, and I told her about it. Morning sickness. Medicate Holmberg's morning sickness. She was in the kitchen here in this building. Her husband was doing a sports show or something, and she was here, and she looked better because in the movie Jade, she's dead and naked. And I still managed to pause and toss to that.

[Brady Bogan]

She's dead on a.

[John Holmberg]

On a slab. Coroner's table. And she'd already been autopsied. They'd sew her back up. They have the scar down the center where they gutted her. And my good Lord, there's naked. And I, you know, my brain just said, that's makeup. She's not really dead. Pause. And so I met her in the kitchen and I said, I gotta tell you something. I gotta get this off my chest here. That scene you did in Jade where you're laying dead on the slab. Yeah, I took care of business to that. Oh, my God. I know, but you knew that was a thing, right? You weren't really acting. You were just holding your breath and you were naked. Like there was no reason for you to be naked on the corner slab. They could have put a blanket on that. It was all designed to make guys.

[Toledo]

Like me how cold she was.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then she started to tell me about the. All right, well, anyway, this is embarrassing enough. I don't need you to break down the details of how uncomfortable.

[Toledo]

Oh, you were cold, all right.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Even for a dead body. I should have asked her that. I'm, like, laying on that cold slab. How did you keep those things from perking up? Because dead body doesn't get hard nipples. That's the name of my autobiography.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the one.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, what are you going to do?

[Brady Bogan]

John, can I tell you something firsthand and hear me out, please.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Brady Bogan]

I might be projecting here, but you become more reliant on it the more you get rejected by your wife. My phones have gotten smarter over the years.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Because. And has your wife rejections. When your wife rejects you more, the phone gets. Yeah, to be more useful. Correct.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Oh, you have the iPhone.

[John Holmberg]

Plus, I see you go out and get every new iteration of the iPhone. 17's out, huh? Okay. Update. Gotta get an update. Might speed up some stuff. I don't know how much faster we need it and how much more we need. There's a lot out there, John.

[Brady Bogan]

It's so common. I'll never forget the time you asked Betty White about her paws and toss.

[John Holmberg]

No, I asked her when she lost her virginity. I did not ask Betty White.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, that's what this guy says.

[John Holmberg]

You're confusing an interview with another person. I did not. I asked Betty White when she lost. And how she lost her virginity. And she. And by the way, old Betty White clips, she was a risque lady.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She was like. She loved that. So I knew she'd be all right with. I'm like, how did you. She was like 90 when we talked to her like, how'd you lose your virginity? And she more than happily told us the story of. What a wonderful experience. I think it was her prom. Yeah. Yeah. It was easy. And she had fun. She gave it up and she made jokes, but I didn't ask her. So what do you tug to Betty? I would not have touched Classless because she would probably just say, my late husband, Alan Ludden. That's gross. That's gross. And my next follow up to that would be Late husband, meaning after Le Casket. No, when he was alive. All right. Can you still smell the smoke on a suit? Because everybody in the seventies stunk like smoke. Does that get you going? Anyway, it's always fun to have conversations with you guys. I enjoyed it. It's good. And by the way, Greta Thunberg, somewhere around Ibiza today, she's pulling over a little beach time.

[Toledo]

They're gonna party.

[John Holmberg]

They're gonna complain about overnight, it's gonna be too hot. I'm sure she's complaining. That's a little too globally warm for her at the beach. And then she'll find a plastic bottle and start sobbing. But she's on her way to Palestine. We'll get that milk to those kids eventually. But this sale. Telling you, man, the world has been snowed by that crying doom goblin. She's getting sailboat rides all over the world. That is a prize on a game show. Sail the World. Nobody goes, boo that. You get to sail all the way from Stockholm to beautiful Palestine. But along the way.

[Brady Bogan]

That's right. We're sending you to the Gaza Strip.

[John Holmberg]

Sail around the world. That is on The Showcase Showdown. $150,000. I don't know. That's crazy good.

[Toledo]

Yeah. That's huge.

[John Holmberg]

It's a huge prize, and she's doing it like it's some sort of sacrifice. I will sail the world and help you children in need of food. You sail the world. That's awesome. We're going to sail to Hawaii. Oh, yeah. A lot of needy Hawaiians, I guess, to tell everybody to do Hot in Hawaii, too. Hot in Hawaii, huh? It's a global warming. You're gonna sail there from Sweden. Was that three months, Four months? Seven. Okay. It sounds nice. Along the way, you're probably gonna stop in some of the worst places in the world, right? Miami, Brazil. Okay. What a trip. Tough times.

[Brady Bogan]

The Dominican.

[John Holmberg]

Don't go to the doctor. You're not going to Haiti, for crying out loud. Brett's out there this morning, and he is. Talk about us. Greta's got nothing on Brett Vestley. He's on 83rd Avenue in Camelback. It's everything he does every day of his life to avoid going to 83rd Avenue and Camelback. But when it comes to helping out the people, he'll do it. He's going to the Safeway over there on the West Valley, donate a case of water to help out Operation Hydration. We'll talk to Brett in just a little bit. What's on the board of Musical Treats. And before you tell us, I'll tell you. It's brought to you by Action Ride Shop. We'll have all the new pivots in stock right now. Pivot bikes are amazing. But if you don't want a pivot bike, they've got all the others as well. I like the Santa Cruz. I think that's a good bike right there. They've got tons of them. And you know what? Don't ask me. Ask the know it alls over there at Action Ride Shop. They got both. Location one up there, was that McDowell. It's McDowell and Power. Oh, man. Gorgeous. And then of course, the original over there on Gilbert. All the geniuses that work there can get you through your day. And you start riding on those trails. Also get a bike rack. Throw your bike on it, head up to Sedona and Flagstaff this summer. You've never Had a better experience outdoorsy stuff than a mountain bike ride through. I'll tell you. Mescal Trail. It's not easy, but it is amazing. You get to. You get to look at Sedona in ways you never imagined, and you can do, you know, two and a half what would normally take you, like, six hours to walk. You can do it a couple hours on a bike and see it all. They can. They'll tell you about that, too. Action Ride Shop. They'll help you out with all your needs for outdoor fun. What's on the board of Musical Treats.

[Brady Bogan]

Justin Grube pipes in with for all these loony broads. John Bullet for my Valentine. Tears don't fall.

[John Holmberg]

Aw.

[Brady Bogan]

And then for Brady Kiss, Tears Are falling. Critical Acclaim by Avenged Sevenfold. Head like a hole, Coc. Clean my wounds. You think I ain't worth a dollar, But I Feel Like a Millionaire by the Queens of the Stone Age.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good song.

[Brady Bogan]

Fabulous Thunderbirds. Tough enough for Greta's boyfriend.

[John Holmberg]

It says, bo. That ain't. That dude does not exist. There is no Greta's boyfriend. I'm not saying she's a lesbian. I'm just saying there's no man that's gonna deal with this. All those tears after two or three times, you're like, enough. Can we watch one TV show without you telling me how they screwed up the planet filming this? Jesus Christ. Imagine watching TV with Greta Thunberg. Oh, and you see, Tom, you go see the new Mission Impossible with her. That was such a way as carbon.

[Toledo]

Because it's too long.

[John Holmberg]

Well, first off, it's too long. Second, there's just everything is a carbon footprint. Everything.

[Toledo]

That's what I was saying. Like, man, there's nothing that you could do that was right. If you're dating.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, everything you do is wrong. God forbid you drop a bottle cap. Thank you, Birdie. Beer. I'm picking it up. Calm down.

[Brady Bogan]

Christopher Cross Sailing Anything by Tears for Fears. Livewire by Motley Crue for the power lines at ktar.

[John Holmberg]

Let's do that. Livewire by Motley Crue because that's got a cowbell in it. That is the. The news goons at KTAR trying to tell you, though, get out of your car. If it gets crushed by a power line, stay in your car. The news goons here at KUPD are like, just count your blessings. You get smashed by the pole and wait for the authorities. Don't go wandering around.

[Toledo]

Let it play out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Let it work itself out. You're in. No matter What? You're in a bad situation. You've already dodged bullet number one. A power line crushed your car and you're still alive. Now stay put. Don't listen to Ladonna Harvey and Jim Sharp tell you to get out of your car and start shuffling around like you're Joe Biden. Just stay in your car. My car's been crushed by a power pole. And you're fine. Right? Are you feeling electrified? No. Pretty good. All right, stay put. Wait for the authorities. What if they never come? You look, you're in a pickle. I'm not saying you're 100% getting out of this my way. You're certainly not doing great getting out of the car. Dumb. It's not like you're sinking or. And again, like, if the car's on fire, run from it, take your chances. But if it's not, turn the radio on. Enjoy yourself. Have some fun. Finish the big goal and just realize that what they're talking about isn't just a power pole randomly falling. It's the middle of the worst monsoon storm the state's ever seen. So not only is that happening, you're running the risk. More like cows are gonna fly through the air and hit you. You just stay in your car. Worst advice I've ever heard on the streets. Yeah. Yeah. And that was the first piece of make sure all people are told to stay away by you. I just got crushed by a power pole. You think I care about the innocent bystanders who are out in the worst monsoon? It's the worst story I've ever. They did it with a straight face, evidently. It was on regular news last night, too. Not just old school dumb radio news.

[Brady Bogan]

They're partners, aren't they?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Channel 3. Channel 15 in them are. So probably Channel 15 did it, too, even though nobody watches that. I don't even know how that's still around. They should just use marionettes at this point for that one to get people's interest because I don't think anybody watches that news now. With five marionettes, the only news station in town using puppetry. I'd watch. You want to bring back some ratings. My ideas are good.

[Toledo]

It got me on the. The weather about a week ago.

[John Holmberg]

Was it on the weekend with marionettes?

[Toledo]

No, but it was a girl that basically had no hand.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Toledo]

She's using the weather map with the.

[John Holmberg]

I like it.

[Toledo]

The nub.

[John Holmberg]

That's what we need more locally. Yeah. Channel 15?

[Toledo]

I believe so. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

And now a cast of freaks gives you the news. It's One Eyed Willie. Like a pirate and a frontiersman. A one armed girl doing weather. That's. That's the only way local news breaks free. Oh, cool. Yeah, we don't want beautiful people in a. Faye Fredericks. Javier Soto. Yeah. Canceled. Bring on the patch. Never mention it. A dude with claws. Scissorhands.

[Brady Bogan]

The Lobster Girl.

[John Holmberg]

Lobster Lady. Remember? Everybody remembers Lobster Lady. Jim Lampley's wife.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's it.

[John Holmberg]

And make her just hold him in the air. Well, that was her old man. Co anchor. Do you think your parents considered aborting you? Do you think they would have had they known you had lips on your hands? That's a terrible question. Just asking. Because she used to wear gloves. I lived in San Diego when that went on. Brie Walker was her name. And she put on these gloves, and she had these beautiful lacy gloves every night with fake hands. And we didn't know. And then one day, she's going to. Started to morph into this freak mutant. And the guy next to her question.

[Brady Bogan]

When she was wearing gloves all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Well, everybody at the station knew she had lost her hands. Like, she wasn't hiding it from the. But on the air, it was like the. And they were right. Like, her bosses are like, I don't think people are ready for lobster hand news. I mean, you're a woman. They're just getting ready. Like, you just got here. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Holding the papers.

[John Holmberg]

And it was a lot of nerve.

[Toledo]

You can only use those if you're pointing out stuff in the Atlantic.

[John Holmberg]

Back in the. Yeah, back. Yeah. And then let's go to under the Sea News with my friend Sebastian. They. They had just given women that right to do the news, so. To have lobster hands, too. She was pushing it.

[Brady Bogan]

Listen, sister, we're just getting used to you being here.

[John Holmberg]

The dude next to her was who Ron Burgundy was based on. And when she finally came free with her lobster hens and he's leaning back going, so you think if your parents would have known about this, they'd have aborted you? That's an actual question he asked her. No, I don't. She handled herself beautifully. I don't know how she didn't slap him with her crustacean paw, but she did. And everybody out there with lobster paws, expect a check. I'll write a check. Don't worry. Don't complain. I'll. I'll cover it. Play that live wire there, sir. You got it. All right. Live Wire by Motley Crue, just in case. Stay in your car. If you're crushed by a power line. You got a lot going on. Last thing you need to do is go down a checklist of things to do. Just sit. Sit tight. Don't listen to ktar. They're out of their minds. Start it off. It's Motley Crue, everybody. It's 98K. If you need, listen for the cowbell.

[Brady Bogan]

Hey, it's not we. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this for you, pd.