06-05-25 - Christopher Titus - Stand Up Live - In Studio

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: Christopher Titus - Stand Up Live - In Studio
Release Date: June 5, 2025
Host/Authors: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Guest: Christopher Titus

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Introduction and Advertisements (00:00 - 01:14)

The episode begins with brief advertisements promoting local businesses. Brett introduces MMP Guns, highlighting their extensive selection and current discounts. This segment is followed by a promotion for Wise Coatings and information about upcoming comedy shows in the Valley, including performances by Brian Simpson, Gina Prion, and Christopher Titus himself at Stand Up Live.

---

Guest Introduction and Early Banter (01:46 - 04:18)

Christopher Titus joins the studio, engaging in playful and edgy banter with Gina Prion. Early in the conversation, Titus humorously accuses an unseen figure of being "an agent of Satan" (01:46), setting the tone for the episode's irreverent humor. Gina deflects the accusation, describing the figure as "a bit rude" (01:53), leading to a back-and-forth exchange that highlights the comedic chemistry between the hosts and the guest.

Notable Quote:

• Christopher Titus (01:46): "You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself."
• Gina Prion (01:53): "No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude."

---

Discussion on Comedy and Family History (04:18 - 10:26)

The conversation shifts to Christopher Titus's family history and his recent DNA test results. Gina shares humorous anecdotes about her ancestry, revealing she's "40% Irish, 40% Scottish, 40% English" with minor Finnish, Welsh, and German heritage (05:35). Titus humorously reflects on his own lineage, mentioning a lack of connection to his family name "Holmberg" and discussing the challenges and surprises that come with uncovering one's ancestry.

Notable Quotes:

• Gina Prion (05:35): "I'm 40% Irish. Sorry, sorry."
• Christopher Titus (06:01): "We've never seen this before."

---

Comedic Bits on Social Issues (10:26 - 20:54)

The hosts delve into a series of comedic sketches addressing sensitive topics such as racism, homophobia, and cultural stereotypes. While Gina Prion and Christopher Titus engage in humor that satirizes prejudiced viewpoints, they navigate these topics with a mix of mockery and exaggerated statements to provoke laughter and thought.

Notable Quotes:

• Gina Prion (06:10): "Could this guy be more...?"
• Christopher Titus (06:16): "But then Brady, he's laughing, man."
• Gina Prion (06:42): "Men are just gross across the board."

---

Exploring Personal Stories and Therapy (26:16 - 36:50)

The dialogue takes a more personal turn as Gina Prion shares stories about her family's struggles, including her grandmother's tough life and her father's tumultuous relationships. They discuss the impact of these family dynamics on personal behavior and mental health, blending humor with heartfelt anecdotes. The conversation also touches on the complexities of therapy and the challenges of addressing deep-seated family issues.

Notable Quotes:

• Gina Prion (26:51): "Grandma Titus was the person. If you hugged Grandma Titus, she stiffened up like a board."
• Christopher Titus (31:00): "What's the Other side of knowing is no is horror."

---

Comedic Reflections on Ancestry and Identity (33:02 - 40:55)

Christopher and Gina continue to explore their family histories, sharing exaggerated and humorous stories about their ancestors' roles in American history. They juxtapose these tales with contemporary issues, such as DNA testing and its unexpected revelations, all while maintaining a comedic tone. The discussion highlights the absurdity of tracing one's lineage and the humorous side of uncovering unexpected family secrets.

Notable Quotes:

• Christopher Titus (33:02): "Back to circle back."
• Gina Prion (34:38): "There's no upside. No one ever said, I took a DNA test."

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Final Comedic Exchanges and Show Promotions (40:55 - 42:35)

As the episode wraps up, the hosts and Christopher Titus engage in final rounds of humor, referencing classic comedy bits and making light-hearted jabs at each other. They promote upcoming performances and encourage listeners to attend Titus's shows at Desert Ridge Improv and Stand Up Live. The episode concludes with playful banter about potential future content and the dynamics of live radio shows.

Notable Quotes:

• Christopher Titus (41:00): "Grandpa Titus is up there."
• Gina Prion (42:35): "I have heard enough of this."

---

Conclusion

The June 5, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness features a lively and humorous interaction between Christopher Titus and Gina Prion, moderated by the hosts. Through a blend of personal stories, comedic sketches, and candid discussions, the episode offers listeners an engaging look into Titus's stand-up persona and his reflections on family, identity, and social issues. The chemistry among the hosts and guest ensures a memorable and entertaining morning show experience.

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Tune in Next Week: Don't miss more entertaining discussions and comedy with John Holmberg and his team. Visit 98KUPD or listen on the 98KUPD app weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM.

Transcript

[Brett]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. We're here with Byron from MMP Guns. Byron, why should someone choose to go to MMP Guns?

[Byron]

The choice is simple, Brett. MMP Guns is your one stop shop for all your shooting needs. We offer Arizona's largest selection handguns, rifles, shotguns, new and pre owned. We also have a large selection of ammunition, accessories and even training. In fact, right now all pre owned firearms are 20% off. All new firearms are 10% off. We have Ammo Inc. 9 millimeter hollow points for only $12.99 a box and much more.

[Brett]

Well, it sounds MMP Guns is committed to providing the customers with the best possible service and selection.

[Byron]

That's a fact. You can visit us at the store at northeast corner of 12th street in Indian School or online at mmpguns.com from.

[Unknown]

Garage floors to custom storage, Wise Coatings brings durability, elegance and organization to your home or office. We turn the drab into dreamy one floor at a time and with our exclusive Polywise technology, you can say goodbye to peeling, cracking and reapplication forever. We're local, licensed and family owned, committed to craftsmanship and customer care. Weiss Coatings truly is your one stop shop for all things flooring, storage and organization. So transform your space today by visiting wisecoatings.comscottsdale that's wisecoatings.comscottSdale all right, HMS podcast.

[Brett]

Time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Check out hilarious comedian Brian Simpson in Tempe at the Improv doing sets for you. The lovely and very funny Gina Prion entertains you at the Desert Ridge Improv and very good friend of the show, the one and only Christopher Titus performs all week for you at Stand Up Live. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridge improv.com and tempe improv.com.

[Christopher Titus]

You'Ve been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[Brett]

He's evil sitting right here.

[Christopher Titus]

Come on.

[Gina Prion]

No, no, he's not. He's not evil. He's just a bit rude.

[Christopher Titus]

98. Oh, now you've started. Me, I'm already pissed off.

[Gina Prion]

But I've also laughed a lot. Yeah, I could leave. I thought. I thought. Damn, I wish we were on air. Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

Could have taped all that. That was fun. Well, rehash it because it's a never ending topic. Christopher Titus is here he's at Desert Ridge Improv tonight.

[Gina Prion]

New show. Another new show. Doomed to repeat. Oh, yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

Brand new hour again. A fact, somebody.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know. I wrote it before the election. I thought it was going to be a hark back to. A hark back to, like, oh, this could have happened.

[Christopher Titus]

Right?

[Gina Prion]

And then it happened and, oh, God, it happened now. So now I'm a prophet. Oh, Nostratitis has shown up and is basically bringing the future. No. I found out my family's been in America since 1635. So you burned witches and we own nothing. Like, we literally showed up when you could pick gold from the streets. And the Titus was like, I got a bottle of wine, and these native people are sexy as hell. We were drunk in the bushes all the time, mixing so many opportunities.

[Christopher Titus]

There's something to be said for consistency.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. We did start Titusville, Florida. I found out.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, you told me that last time. I think you said you had. Titusville, Florida is on the map because of the Titus family.

[Gina Prion]

We are so responsible for Florida.

[Christopher Titus]

Yes. And that makes sense to me. There's a lot of tit in Florida and a lot of Florida and tiger.

[Gina Prion]

Sorry. Thanks, man. Now I'm okay. It's good to be on the show. Thanks for having me. Back insult. We were like, 45 seconds. Yeah, but how is that insulting?

[Christopher Titus]

It's a beautiful area filled with wonderful people.

[Gina Prion]

They are. They're. Are they? I just did it. I just did it.

[Christopher Titus]

Of course you have to say that.

[Gina Prion]

And I got. And I made it home.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

That's how you feel about Florida. I made it home.

[Christopher Titus]

I got out. I got out. It's fun to visit. I don't want to stay. It's like Vegas without all the Vegas. Titus is also at Standup Live Friday, Saturday. No Roi. Vegas. Yeah. It's pretty good. You're back here once again. You got your new hour. You're doing all that stuff. Life is good, I assume not. Sure. You got your little dog.

[Gina Prion]

Got my little boy. Chaplain's with us. Rachel is coming in. Rachel signed up to be a social. She's doing this thing called Casa, where she makes. Represents kids in the foster system. She's there and she just took that on comedically. That's what I thought. What are we doing?

[Christopher Titus]

She's a comedian.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, she's a comedian, but she always was going to be. She's got a criminal justice background, and she just wants to always do her part. Oh, she's not for me, but for everybody else, she's like, you know. Yeah. Since you have extra time. What if I was taken?

[Christopher Titus]

Isn't that like your ex wife? Wasn't she doing a lot for other people too?

[Gina Prion]

Yes, Mike said that. A couple. Yeah, she was representing other people, but. Yeah, but not officially. Exactly.

[Christopher Titus]

Exactly. Unofficially. So it wasn't like an organization.

[Gina Prion]

She's doing great. She's coming in and do. She's gonna do Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

[Christopher Titus]

She's fantastic.

[Gina Prion]

She's gonna film her special in October. And I'm doing Desert Ridge tonight and then stand up. But the new show's great, man. It's got. There's a bit on immigration I do at the end that gets me getting standing ovations. Beautiful. In North Dakota, it got standing, which is really weird, you know. Wow. Because I just figured that if my family's been here 400 years, that I'm an OG American.

[Christopher Titus]

I'm sure you're one of them.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. You were here before it was America.

[Gina Prion]

Not me, but my people.

[Christopher Titus]

Yes. Well, you've been around. You've been around for a while.

[Gina Prion]

Do you know there's no, like. So I did a DNA test. I had to do a DNA 10s. I swear. I didn't have to do a DNA test. There was no. There was court ordered DNA test. There was no court order.

[Christopher Titus]

I'm not shocked by that.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. There was no. Waitress showed up with a baby with a giant head and Gary Busey teeth again. Ah, damn it, Brittany. So. And I found out that I, like, I'm super white. Like, I'm whiter than you. Like, I don't know, dude. I'm 40% Irish. Sorry, sorry. 11% Irish, 40% Scottish, 40% English, 3% Finnish, 3% Welsh, 2% German, and I guess 1% paper plate. My God.

[Christopher Titus]

There's no pigment in this DNA.

[Gina Prion]

The tituses didn't rape any slaves.

[Christopher Titus]

Not one.

[Gina Prion]

Not one.

[Christopher Titus]

No one danced with.

[Gina Prion]

Guess we only slept with people you could see in the dark. We get that jellyfish DNA too. God. And so it was just weird to be the whitest guy ever. Man. I keep getting recruitment letters from the clan. So I read them. I. Correct.

[Christopher Titus]

Did your DNA test in the back with 100%. Wow.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. It was just this.

[Christopher Titus]

We've never seen this before.

[Gina Prion]

They're like, this isn't real.

[Christopher Titus]

No. Milk is worried that it's crazy.

[Gina Prion]

Please retest. Please retest.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. Speaking of milk, did you see that we're changing the name of Boats because we don't name them after gay guys anymore.

[Gina Prion]

My God, can this guy. Could this Guy be more. You know those gay. You know, Hexess hits me as that guy that just hates gay people for no reason. You mean a guy that doesn't know any gay people.

[Christopher Titus]

But then Brady, he's laughing, man.

[Gina Prion]

But you know the people like dude, why are you so afraid of gay people? Because it's gross, man. Well then don't think about it. How do you not think about it? Oh, that sexy man on man snuggling man. It's just gross. Yeah, but. Okay, all right, but men don't bleed seven days a month, right? Which means they can have sex all the time, every day, forever and ever. Just come constant banging and banging and banging and banging. Dude, are you okay?

[Unknown]

No.

[Gina Prion]

They're supposed to push their true feelings down. You're supposed to lock it up, man. Be with someone you're not. Then when you're 11, your dad takes your sister's Barbies away and he makes you join the football team and you become a man. He gets to slam into other men.

[Christopher Titus]

I like that you're hillbillies. One good thing is the blood barrier. That means you have to stop for a week. That caught me hard. He had a blood barrier with a gays. They don't have that because it's non stop.

[Gina Prion]

That's the upside. Yeah, I have. Hey man, there's an upside.

[Christopher Titus]

I think they should change.

[Gina Prion]

That's why I bought a Silverado with a lift kit and I hung a giant fake pair of men's balls from the trailer heads. Wait, so you like balls? No, my truck has balls. I like them other things. You mean vaginas?

[Christopher Titus]

Don't talk about it. Looks like a half cut tomato. Don't say the word the. I think they should take the name away from that boat. The milk boat.

[Gina Prion]

Because it's a fuel boat.

[Christopher Titus]

It's a tiny boat. Either tugboat or a destroyer. Because Harvey was a size queen, it's insulting to give him a tiny queen. A size queen's a dude who like Biggins.

[Gina Prion]

Oh, did he? Did he Harvey Milk? Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. You didn't watch the movie?

[Gina Prion]

Well, I didn't love the big one. Not the movie. I didn't.

[Christopher Titus]

And you've met a gay, right?

[Gina Prion]

Do the research that you've done on Wikipedia.

[Christopher Titus]

You've met homosexuals, right? None of them go.

[Gina Prion]

I just know what I know. Because wouldn't that be just a normal like a regular. I just don't. By the way.

[Christopher Titus]

Wait a minute. Wait, let's finish that.

[Gina Prion]

Wouldn't a big and be like anybody who like someone who likes Brady would be.

[Christopher Titus]

No, no, no, no. That's a bear.

[Gina Prion]

That's a bear.

[Unknown]

I don't know.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, we'll teach it. So, yeah, Harvey liked, you know, he liked the big two handed.

[Gina Prion]

He's gonna get some education.

[Christopher Titus]

That's right.

[Gina Prion]

He big. And he likes a very large penis. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Christopher Titus]

Like a big one.

[Gina Prion]

That's across the board.

[Christopher Titus]

You think so? But women are always like, no, it.

[Gina Prion]

Just has to be just. They don't like them if they're too.

[Christopher Titus]

Big or too small. Gay guys are like, no. If it doesn't have an engine.

[Gina Prion]

Why did his voice change so much?

[Christopher Titus]

Because it scares me. No, no, no, man. The gays only enjoy the large people. No, I might have gay neighbors. I've never once been at gay guys party goes.

[Gina Prion]

I like the little ones when I come in here.

[Christopher Titus]

That's what the gay guys always say. No, but I've been at my. I've been at my neighbor's pool parties. And all of them are like, love huge stuff.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

And they won't shut up about it. Like, girls probably do it when we're not around. But the gay guys are like, no, get that little, like, bat it away, you know?

[Gina Prion]

Like, we had a lot of. A lot of. We had gay writers on the show. And it's funny how gay people like to talk, especially on straight people. They accept like a push, you know, they're like, yeah, no. And then he bent me over and like, hey, hey, hey. I don't think about how normal people have psychos. Right? Not. Sorry. Not normal people. That was wrong. That was a mistake. Straight people have sex. Yeah. Yeah. Well, good to be here, Titus. I'm gonna.

[Unknown]

We got insurance.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, we're insured.

[Gina Prion]

Becoming a welder now because it's over. That's not what I meant. I just don't think about how anybody else has sex. I think about. I have sex and that's it. Can you imagine, like, just being. Just being lost like you. Like you're just obsessing about your straight friends. Just be like, oh, look.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, my God, look at Mike and.

[Gina Prion]

Greg sitting there, man. Yeah, you know damn well he puts his purple pony cave. Man, I bet they slime and stink all over each other, man. They probably use other holes. I can't stop thinking about it. I just don't.

[Unknown]

I think they think it's also contagious, like if I'm hanging around it.

[Christopher Titus]

Well, that's. That's not think. That's knowing deep down if they're around it too.

[Gina Prion]

Much.

[Christopher Titus]

They might fall in.

[Gina Prion]

If you. Listen, if you. If you care so much about people you don't know, living their wildlife the way they want to and not bothering you, you're suspect something's wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

And plus his hair, like, man, you.

[Gina Prion]

Are too perfectly gelled.

[Christopher Titus]

I worry too much when people can't, like, make fun of it or like. Like when you say the irregulars. You call the gays the irregulars. And I'm with you on that. Like, if you can't make fun of it and, like, have, like, pull the stick out of your ass. And I know if you're gay, you probably like it there, but pull the stick out of your ass and just have a laugh. Oh, they don't like the little ones like a broomstick. But I just, like, you know, look, if you can't have a laugh and it makes you sick, like, I think of fat people, I much rather blow a dude than bang a disgusting, fat, unkept person.

[Gina Prion]

Okay, well, I'm glad that's on air.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, yeah, I've said it. But there's plenty of things I'd say that.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. Really? I've been here before. There's nothing.

[Christopher Titus]

Loads of that.

[Unknown]

It's gonna happen soon.

[Gina Prion]

But I.

[Christopher Titus]

But, you know, look, the way the world's devolving, I might end up doing that. Just be like, whatever to keep me out of this mess.

[Gina Prion]

Well, you know what's weird is it, like, why I just don't understand in 2025, how can you hate anybody? Life's too hard. How do you have that free time to be racist or be. Be homophobic?

[Christopher Titus]

You know, I mean, maybe we're the generation that changes. We don't get more racist as we get older. We get more tolerant because we just have time.

[Gina Prion]

Exactly. It's hard. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, whatever.

[Christopher Titus]

Do what you do. Gross.

[Gina Prion]

Yuck. Yeah. I don't want to see pictures. Don't.

[Christopher Titus]

That's your wife.

[Gina Prion]

Me. A picture.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, I'd rather be gay. And that's gross to me. Yeah, I think what gay guys do is gross, but I don't care.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, I don't think about that too much, by the way. I don't. I don't think it's gross. Just whatever. If that. Oh, it's gross, dude. If that. If that. If that. Listen, come on.

[Christopher Titus]

It's gross. I could show you mine right now and you'd be like, that's gross. I'm not. Right.

[Gina Prion]

There's a comic. Forget her name. Very funny. Comic. She said something. She Goes, women have to take care of their feet, man. Men's feet look like root vegetables. I was like, that's accurate. Yeah, we're gross. Men are just gross across the board. I mean, that's what I think about gay people. Gay good dudes. It's like, wait, so men are. We stink. We're disgusting. We think we're smart and we're stupid. We're angry all the time. Everything that was horrible in the world was created by men. And you find us attractive. I guess that proves it's not a choice.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, so true. My gay neighbors told me. One of them told me something called the chocolate LeBaron.

[Gina Prion]

Him.

[Unknown]

It's not. It was a story.

[Christopher Titus]

I don't even know Christopher Lean back Holmberg's morning sickness. So when he was a new guy.

[Gina Prion]

Just the name.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, when he was a new gay and Wayne. Oh, it's horrible. He. He learned the.

[Gina Prion]

Oh, God, here we go.

[Christopher Titus]

Just look. It's a fun. It's a chat. A couple guys talking.

[Gina Prion]

The chocolate LeBaron. Okay.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, it gets good.

[Gina Prion]

So he Is Ricardo Montban involved in this?

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. Rich Corinthian leather.

[Gina Prion]

Oh, no.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, no. So he's. He's a young gay who's decided, I'm going to be a. I'm just going for it. Right.

[Gina Prion]

I'm in.

[Christopher Titus]

So he's got this guy and he realized that there's techniques before, like, because I.

[Gina Prion]

It's like the X Games of gay is what you're saying.

[Christopher Titus]

He's the Squid Games of gay. This dude is like, red light, green light, and there is blood and murder. So he's going. He was like, truck stopping for a minute and like, just. Just getting used to it. He said, but you learn that, you know, when you're gonna do that, you have to prepare for it. And I'm like, that's what I was asking. Like, how do you prepare for this? So he got with some guy and he's like, get out. They start going, get it. Get in my car. Like they're having at each other in the parking lot. They get in the car and he starts going, it's a LeBaron. And they're in the back seat. And he said that the entire interior of this car was white leather. And, like. Right. And he said he's hitting and he goes. And they're just going at it. And he goes, there's lube and all sorts. He's slipping all over. And he goes. I put my hand up on the. The roof of the. Of the. The ceiling. And he's bracing. Yeah, you gotta brace yourself, Brady. Good traction. And he starts going. He realizes, like, there's something horrible happening here. And he looks up at the thing and there's just handprints. This dude was just letting loose the whole time and creating the chocolate Le Baron. He looked around, he's like. It was just a scene of it. So, yes. Back to circle back.

[Gina Prion]

It is gross improv tonight. And then I'm gonna be stand up. We always say Sunday. I'm gonna be crying on a lot of my show. There'll be a lot of tears.

[Christopher Titus]

Thinking of the chat, if you walk by a LeBaron ever again, because every time I've seen one and they're rare, you're like, oh, I wonder if that's the one. Is that the hair?

[Gina Prion]

That's weird, man.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, so we. We joke about the hair because it.

[Gina Prion]

Ended up on a used car lot. That car ended up on a used car lot. What's with the roof and the handprints? Yeah, we couldn't get those out.

[Christopher Titus]

Just the stitching was still a little brown. They scrubbed all the stuff off the.

[Unknown]

Top missing on the pinstripe.

[Christopher Titus]

The chocolate.

[Gina Prion]

Why? I don't want to learn things. I know.

[Christopher Titus]

It's just, like, too early.

[Gina Prion]

This is like the worst version of Sesame street ever.

[Unknown]

Next up, Rosebud.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. Oh, the rosebud. Don't even ask about.

[Gina Prion]

What's the rose.

[Christopher Titus]

Rose butts. When your butt. Actually, the inside butt comes out, you prolapse.

[Unknown]

You prolapse.

[Christopher Titus]

And they're. And that's like a goal. And then they play with that. I got videos of that.

[Unknown]

I'm only two years ahead.

[Gina Prion]

So listen, listen, just. The jokes are gonna work as the tears. The jokes will work, right?

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, but that's what I think about. And I always tell Brady because he's a lot more sheltered in life and probably better. Rose colored glasses are a better way to live.

[Gina Prion]

Yes.

[Christopher Titus]

You don't have them and I don't have them.

[Gina Prion]

I just don't want to know.

[Christopher Titus]

We see the world for what it is.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. But there's things you can't forget now.

[Christopher Titus]

Rosebud. And so you'll never forget in your audience tonight will be. A small percentage of them will go home in rosebud. On purpose.

[Gina Prion]

Oh, my God.

[Christopher Titus]

On purpose.

[Gina Prion]

Is this that Brady Bunch episode where you imagine people in their underwear?

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. Yeah. That's how you do it.

[Gina Prion]

Public speaking. I'm gonna get to the new bit. I'm just gonna. Everyone's. Everybody's rose button If I just imagine them all rosebudding. I can't take them serious.

[Unknown]

Picture of chocolate LeBaron.

[Gina Prion]

Oh, God.

[Christopher Titus]

Just all of them covered in the chocolate LeBaron.

[Gina Prion]

The chocolate LeBaron sounds like something that, like a 70s funny car would be named.

[Christopher Titus]

It' it's the black driver. The black driver.

[Unknown]

T shirt, hot ride, ghoul.

[Christopher Titus]

Now Shirley Muldowney takes on Leroy.

[Gina Prion]

Did not go the way I wanted it to go this morning.

[Christopher Titus]

Leroy T. Williams and the chocolate LeBaron out there taking on Mul Downey. I'mma win this race, man. Whip this woman's ass. Chocolate LeBaron got big skin.

[Gina Prion]

Chocolate. The Baron going to win the championship.

[Christopher Titus]

When I'm going to take a trophy. Shove that up your ass. You had the chocolate LeBaron in your ass, fool. I don't think that Leroy T. Williams is an actual racer, but I wish he was.

[Gina Prion]

Sorry. There was a dude named Willie T. Willie T. Ribs.

[Christopher Titus]

We know Willie T. My dad.

[Gina Prion]

My dad was like, I feel like I'm racist just watching this now. Just the guy's name.

[Christopher Titus]

You know what? I watched yesterday, and I don't know how people haven't been canceled even now, and one of them has. I saw an old Fat Albert episode. If I drew those characters perfectly and put them on my desk, I'd lose my job.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

There. Like, whoever was drawing Fat Albert.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

I didn't realize it until today.

[Gina Prion]

I want to get a picture of that because, God, is it the whitest guy ever. That'd be the dude who drew it. How about the voices?

[Christopher Titus]

They were all built.

[Gina Prion]

Yikes. Yikes.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, You. You look at a picture.

[Gina Prion]

We found out later that Bill Cosby was horribly racist, though. We found out later.

[Christopher Titus]

Well, he had some issues.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, but don't you remember? Let's take. Let's take. Let's take that one. The horrible. The rape.

[Christopher Titus]

Let's eliminate rape.

[Gina Prion]

Let's take the raping aside and just talk about how he would just lecture black people, that he'd go speak at a black thing and be like, you gotta pull. You. You got to pull your pants up, you say? Because you can't be having the pants down because. And like, dude, are you. Are you literally at a jazz festival lecturing black people? What are you doing? What are you doing? Did you put your pants back on or. If the pants come down, you better make it useful. And you got to learn to speak the English. Like, what do we talk like you now? Jeez, Lizzie's speaking the English. Like, Camille said that you Do.

[Christopher Titus]

To pull the pants up and do the thing.

[Gina Prion]

Camille, by the way, Camille is just best wife ever and just biding her time.

[Christopher Titus]

You think It's a long time. She's waiting. She's hanging on.

[Gina Prion]

It is, man. Camille thought, my wife always says evil lasts forever. Good people go.

[Christopher Titus]

I think that's true.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. It's kind of weird.

[Christopher Titus]

The funny thing is, Camille probably got the call. He's getting out because he's at home. Camille, I can't see like he wants, but she's got a weight on him hand and foot.

[Brett]

Look at him.

[Gina Prion]

Camille, put your hand on the glass. We did the midnight express. Put your boobs up there, Mems. Midnight Express me just a little bit. Put your feet on the glass. See, now you're right. This is the.

[Christopher Titus]

Look at the drawings. And that's a pretty good one. But Mushmouth and Rudy and, like, the. The drawings are ridiculously racist. Like, it's 1930s racism.

[Gina Prion]

And. But because it was Cosby. Cosby.

[Christopher Titus]

And it was okay. And somehow or another, people are like, no big deal. You look at it now, I'm like, if I.

[Gina Prion]

But I just. I just. Okay, so here's what I just got. I just got as. Cause I loved.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh.

[Gina Prion]

I got up every Saturday morning. I watched it. It just got that it colored my thinking of colored people forever. Of course. That's who they are. Oh, yes. They live in a junkyard. Little kid go, is this. Yeah. They all. They play in junkyards.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

And they walk the streets in the worst neighborhood possible. They don't live anywhere but the worst neighborhood.

[Christopher Titus]

That's right.

[Gina Prion]

You're absolutely right.

[Christopher Titus]

Wow.

[Gina Prion]

Fat Albert was horrible.

[Christopher Titus]

It was horrible indoctrination.

[Gina Prion]

Like a Nazi propaganda cartoon.

[Christopher Titus]

I watched one the other day, and I'm like.

[Gina Prion]

How is this the thing?

[Unknown]

Randy Haller was the animator. I don't.

[Christopher Titus]

I don't know if he's white or back. But they made the movie in the 2000s. We still were, like, nostalgic for Fat Albert when you watch it. It's like, oh, my.

[Gina Prion]

Oh, but we've seen now people are so nostalgic.

[Christopher Titus]

Anything like that. But, yeah, it's crazy. Like, it's just a bunch of kids in a junkyard eating scraps and blowing on radiators. And then we're like, that's awesome. That's probably pretty accurate.

[Gina Prion]

Of course. That's how black people are.

[Christopher Titus]

God, what'd we learn today? Like, that you guys are poor. And scene.

[Gina Prion]

I wonder if Cosby ever looks back and go, that was a mistake. That might have set our movement back. Maybe the Huxtables. He's a doctor.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. That was to make good.

[Gina Prion]

Someone. Someone took him aside and was, hey, man, you got to fix this fat album thing. You got to balance it with the. The universe is totally out.

[Christopher Titus]

Like, I didn't see. I'm a doctor.

[Gina Prion]

Is a gynecologist that works in his basement. And everybody has to have a drink.

[Christopher Titus]

Here's the other thing. I didn't see the series finale of Fat Albert, but there is a chance I'm going to Harvard. Well, I make that there.

[Gina Prion]

And then we fixed it.

[Christopher Titus]

You have to rewrite it. We're all going to Harvard.

[Gina Prion]

Fat Albert.

[Christopher Titus]

I would go to Harvard too. They all got scholarships to Harvard and they all escaped the poverty. But, man, you watch that thing. And it is. And Buck Buck. When they play Buck Buck, which is the game where they jump over each other.

[Gina Prion]

Great bit about buckbuck.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, you do.

[Gina Prion]

There's a great no bid. Cosby wrote a bit about Buck Buck.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, he did. Oh, that's right.

[Gina Prion]

I forgot about a huge cosby fan.

[Christopher Titus]

And 15 years ago, you got your little dog Chaplin.

[Gina Prion]

Chaplin, yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

Named it Chaplin. Knott's Carlin.

[Gina Prion]

Yes.

[Christopher Titus]

There is a decent chance that you just missed the window. That Cosby would have been part of that tribute.

[Gina Prion]

To be clear, his name originally, actually. It's actually.

[Christopher Titus]

Sorry, the other one original name was Cosby. Spacey Simpson.

[Gina Prion]

No, his last name was his last. Yeah, exactly. It was not good. Pete Diddy. It was. It was. Yeah, yeah. Puff Doggy. And he. And so he was named. He was originally named Cosby. And then none of us knew Cosby was raping people, so we changed his name. Me and the dog was like, hey, dad, can we get this? It can't be. My last name was really gonna be that. Yeah, it's actually his name. His chap is Chaplain. His Chaplain Knott's Prior. Actually, we changed it.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, okay.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, that's his name. And the other one's named Carl Carlin. The other one.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, this one is not Kim. Carlin.

[Gina Prion]

Groucho. Groucho. Groucho is Groucho, not Carlin. He is. He is Chaplain Ball Prior.

[Christopher Titus]

Named after Lucy, the one that's here today.

[Gina Prion]

Yes.

[Christopher Titus]

These are. Yes. Little.

[Gina Prion]

Little Yorkies. Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

Adorable dog. And then 15 and just cool as can be.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, he's. He's chill. He went and gotten back in his bag.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. You guys. Well, you guys have just blown past. I don't even want to know what a rosebud Is I'm done.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, yeah.

[Gina Prion]

I'm going back. I'm going back and show me.

[Christopher Titus]

All going to take a break. Titus, you can stick around.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

You state the whole morning. You're fine. We got nothing else to do. Christopher Titus here. Desert Ridge Improv tonight. If you want to go and stand up live tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday, Titus is with us. It's 98 Morning Sickness.

[Gina Prion]

98K.

[Christopher Titus]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. You're the hole in the sheet anyway. That's a lot. Semantics. It's semantics.

[Gina Prion]

I'm glad that people can't hear what we talk about when it's.

[Christopher Titus]

There's supposed to be cameras in here and stuff. I won't allow.

[Gina Prion]

I've never been that close to vomiting.

[Christopher Titus]

People are always like, we could sell the YouTube video. What you guys do between the breaks.

[Gina Prion]

I'm like, we want to forget it.

[Christopher Titus]

We don't.

[Gina Prion]

I don't want any records of how horrible you guys are.

[Christopher Titus]

It's not. We're not horrible. You're here.

[Gina Prion]

That's true.

[Christopher Titus]

All of us are in on that.

[Gina Prion]

All right. You can actually consider me doing this show a fetish.

[Christopher Titus]

This should be a video for you.

[Gina Prion]

You're actually right.

[Christopher Titus]

Christopher Titus is here. Desert Ridge Improv tonight. You Want to go? Desertridgeimprov.com if you can't make it tonight, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, he's got you surrounded. Standuplive.com Downtown is where he's performing. And always a hilarious show. Like, you've got a new hour every time you're here. You're pretty much covering all new stuff every time you're around. Right?

[Unknown]

No rockets this time, though. Props. You had the stage. The one year that was.

[Gina Prion]

Oh, my God. In the morning, we actually built a. We built a. Spent 2500 bucks, built a stage of rockets and stuff. And then we got it set up at the club to film the special. And I just said, this is horrible. And they all looked at me. And then my assistant goes, what? I go, take it down. He goes, we just. We just spent five days building this. I go, it's horrible.

[Christopher Titus]

What was wrong with it?

[Gina Prion]

It was just too big for the stage.

[Christopher Titus]

Just a lot going on. You were just tiny.

[Gina Prion]

It was wrong. Yeah. It disappeared into it. And so then we ended up using just black panels on the wall, and we put posters up, and it was way better. But we spent a lot of money. Money.

[Christopher Titus]

Well, you know what? Sometimes throw it against the wall. Chocolate ler.

[Gina Prion]

And they call it, hey, we got a chocolate bear.

[Christopher Titus]

This Whole God thinks like a chocolate. Yeah. Yeah. That's how. Yeah, you can't do that.

[Gina Prion]

We're going to chocolate the bear in this whole thing.

[Christopher Titus]

Call me Will walk on the beach and say, chocolate la bear in 47 just replaces the chocolate.

[Gina Prion]

47. That's new. I got it.

[Christopher Titus]

It's a new thing.

[Gina Prion]

God, what a horrible thing.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

The people. I want you to listen right now. We're not going to tell you. He will. All the hor. That we've talked about when we were. While the commercials were playing. But I. I'm going to need some help.

[Christopher Titus]

Well, you have therapy.

[Gina Prion]

I had a weird life, and I need. I'm like, I've never been in on a radio show and thought, I'm going to puke. I'm going to puke like the stuff.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, that's not true. You sat there like, we'll be right back with more weather and Titus. They'll be with us all day. Are you. Was there anything you ever found out about your family that, like, even surprised you? Like, you went through kind of a lot as a kid. I saw your old show on Fox. You had a rough go.

[Gina Prion]

I think the weirdest thing that ever happened to me was my dad, because my dad would just burn through women. Like, he had. Whatever his DNA was. He had this genetic anomaly that basically attacked his happiness like an autoimmune disease in his bank account, because he was never. He would marry these great women, and then he'd cheat on them every time. One night, I go, was it my mom that made you bitter towards women in the car? And he goes, no, it was my mom. Oh, geez. Yeah. Graham's so good. I don't even want to know what happened at this point. I wanted to. And so I guess Grandma Titus was. Grandma Titus was. Was a lot. She was a lot.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. And did you know her?

[Gina Prion]

I did. Grandma Titus was the person. If you hugged Grandma Titus, she went. Stiffened up like a board. Like it was. It burns. It burns like she was. She would. No, no, no. Literally, just.

[Christopher Titus]

So what happened to grammatitis is another test?

[Gina Prion]

Well, again, she lasted. She. She was. She got. Had dementia. She ended up in a. In a home. And she didn't never. She really, really. She never really built a whole lot of following from the family. Like, she was not. Not a lot of fans is what I'm saying. Not a lot of people buying her merch. And so. So she ended up in this home and nobody went to see her. You know, she was. She wasn't. No, no.

[Christopher Titus]

But she deserved it.

[Gina Prion]

She started the team.

[Christopher Titus]

You're saying she deserved it? In a way.

[Gina Prion]

I must. I'm sorry.

[Christopher Titus]

She started the whole thing.

[Brett]

Nobody's buying her merch.

[Gina Prion]

She earned it.

[Christopher Titus]

She earned it?

[Gina Prion]

Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

It was a loneliness. Well, earth.

[Gina Prion]

And it was weird because, you see, the joke about it is, like, you know, I don't think she had dementia. I just think she got tired of talking to people.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

It's like, grandma, how you doing today? Words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Words paper can't see, blah, blah, blah. Who are you? Better. You? Good. Now, I might have to mention, leave me alone.

[Christopher Titus]

But the bigger question is, is what happened to her that caused that? The stiffening up. Like, what did her dad do?

[Gina Prion]

I think it was my grandfather. So I found out. So as I. As I go through this DNA thing, and I do the lineage of the Tituses, we've done nothing. Which is weird. No.

[Christopher Titus]

One after another.

[Gina Prion]

We have just been the cogs and the wheel of America. I am the most nothing. Well, the guy Robert Titus that came here, his brother Silas Titus, was actually in the court of King Charles ii. And then. But obviously my ancestor, Robert Titus, he was like, we gotta get out of England, because I did some stuff. My brother knows about it. Gotta go. So let's go take the worst journey we can on this. On the Hope. Well, which got stuck. And anyway, so my grandfather hung out with Slim Pickens. Was friends with Slim Pickens. My grandfather's one of these guys, and he was the best. Lovable guy, but he was. My back hurts. I can't work. So Grandma Titus raised four kids and had a job.

[Christopher Titus]

He was Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka. He laid in the bed until there was a golden ticket.

[Unknown]

Oh, there's a second set in there, too.

[Christopher Titus]

Sure, sure. There's a lot of lazy grandparents. My point being is, once the.

[Gina Prion]

Once going on with the. There was the foot stuff.

[Christopher Titus]

That is the weirdest setup.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, it is. Even as a kid, I was like, this is weird. As a child, the last thing I.

[Christopher Titus]

Ever want to see is all of my grandparents in a bed together.

[Gina Prion]

That's not normal.

[Christopher Titus]

Unless it's, like, a sister.

[Gina Prion]

So what happened was. So here's.

[Christopher Titus]

They agreed to kill themselves if I found them dead. That way, I'd be like, this makes sense.

[Gina Prion]

What is happening now.

[Christopher Titus]

That is how I'd want to see it.

[Gina Prion]

You have a place you go every time, every sentence.

[Christopher Titus]

You want to see them frolic.

[Gina Prion]

Sucked into it. Like, I'm part. Like, I'm a cult member and you're the Leader. And I just start going, yeah, this is normal. Let's talk about this now.

[Christopher Titus]

But you would rather see them dead than frolicking alive together.

[Gina Prion]

Old people in the bed, frolicking, not good.

[Christopher Titus]

I'd rather see it.

[Gina Prion]

And now I have an unfavorite word.

[Christopher Titus]

By the way. A great band named Frolicking Grandparents.

[Gina Prion]

So my grandfather was friends with Slim Pickens. And one night they had a place up at the Delta in California. And this was a famous story. My dad. My dad really was angry with my grandmother. My grandpa went out with Slim Pickens. They got drunk at the river at the Delta and came back. And my grandmother beat the crap out of both of them with a broom handle.

[Brett]

Whoa.

[Gina Prion]

For coming. They came in at one o' clock in the morning, drunk and beat the hell. And my father. My father would say, yeah, she killed him. Yeah. Yeah. She didn't kill him. Seriously. He had a heart attack. But she put him through stuff. But Grandma. Grandma had a tough life. She came over and she was in a depression and stuff.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. And she's just had a rough go.

[Gina Prion]

She had a rough go. But like, here's the thing. Your rough go doesn't give you the right. No, you can't depose your rough go on everybody else. Whatever. Because something happened to Cosby too.

[Christopher Titus]

Yes.

[Gina Prion]

And that. His rough go, whatever it was, that's new.

[Christopher Titus]

Like, that's of the last 25 years.

[Gina Prion]

That's true.

[Christopher Titus]

You know, we just now discovered like this logotherapy thing where you can go back and go, oh, this is why you do that. Yeah. Because people just ignored it before. I beat my kids. Because I beat my kids.

[Gina Prion]

This is why truck stops feel like home. That's what you're saying.

[Christopher Titus]

That's why everybody looks like that.

[Unknown]

Set that therapy up at the BUC EE's or something.

[Gina Prion]

That's a great ide. That's a brilliant idea. A little kiosk, little truck instead of a taco truck. A therapy truck. People just stand in line.

[Christopher Titus]

Bucky's therapist would be top notch too, because they would tell it like it is.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

Just things they'd hear.

[Gina Prion]

Guy who had his license revoked a couple times because he was just too honest.

[Christopher Titus]

Told me too many truths.

[Gina Prion]

Exactly. Not a bad therapist. Just like, dude, you gotta stop.

[Christopher Titus]

We did the DNA on our family and yours came back pretty innocuous. Just white and not innocuous.

[Gina Prion]

I'm the whitest person. They sent me. They sent me a handicap parking pass with the results in case I go to a dance club. It's. I'm white. Didn't think there was any gold left.

[Christopher Titus]

In that vein, but I like that. No. So we found out that a. My last name. I'm not tied to it whatsoever. This proud heritage of Holmberg.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

Back in the days of Sweden's king, way back of four generations. Five, if you got pregnant without being married, the king took the baby. So. So they just handed this.

[Gina Prion]

Wait, whoa, whoa.

[Christopher Titus]

So a slut teenage girl like a pregnancy. They. And she pop it out. The. The king would be like, it's ours. You don't have a father. You don't have a husband. You're done here. And if you're. And. Yeah. So then they would take the baby and assign it to a family that Foster. Foster. No, Foster. It was. They just pretended they had it. So they just really.

[Gina Prion]

I like you.

[Christopher Titus]

This is yours.

[Gina Prion]

I love all the. There's so much denial in. This is awesome.

[Christopher Titus]

It's crazy. It wasn't like, oh, let's foster it until we find it a good. No, no, Sweden is Sweden. So the king was like, we're not.

[Gina Prion]

It's very. By the way, the Swedes are very much like, oh, yeah, I always had that baby. Yeah, that's our baby.

[Christopher Titus]

This is Alice.

[Gina Prion]

Throw that. But I didn't see anybody pregnant. Yes, you did. They were pregnant.

[Christopher Titus]

And they all look enough alike that it was okay. And that's one of the reasons why they said, let's not drift from the race. Like, keep this thing looking pure and similar so we can move parts like a chessboard. Nobody's gonna question H's morning sickness. Medicate. K u PD Holmberg's morning sickness. So my great, great, great grandfather, John the Bastard. And then he was another great funny.

[Gina Prion]

Car driver in the 70s, up against chocolate Le Barrie.

[Unknown]

Talk about bumping and rubbing.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

So they just shoved him in there and they never liked him, and they treated him worse than anybody. And he was kind of the outcast, but he was then a Holmberg. And then he went on. Had his own family. They got cast out and moved to Pennsylvania. And it was. It's crazy.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. A lot. America was founded by a lot of cast outs.

[Christopher Titus]

A lot of cast outs.

[Gina Prion]

As I would go through my history, I was like, oh, wow. We.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. The worst thing you can do is trace your history, because it ain't real. My dad calls and goes, I don't know what to do.

[Gina Prion]

But that's like the DNA test, too. And people go, we're doing DNA tests. And I. And I just. I wrote the bit about it and I was like, why? I mean, haven't we learned anything from these sci fi movies about some horrible government that takes everybody's, you know, DNA to find out who the good human beings are and who the, you know.

[Christopher Titus]

You know, what's gonna happen.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, we've all been out in the world and run across another piece of our collective human jigsaw puzzle and thought, wow, they're from another box. These evolution emergency breaks. Yeah, exactly. So why are you giving your DNA? You're basically now. And now they know you killed that drifter in 07. Like, why? Why did you put yourself on the possible suspect database, you moron?

[Christopher Titus]

And every family's gonna find out, oh, that wasn't Dave's daughter. Yeah, every family. We get emails all the times, like, I just found out that this isn't my kid and I've been raising it for two years. It's like, oh, don't do the test.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, there's no upside. No one ever said, I took a DNA test. Guess what the best news you could get is. Yeah, those are my real parents. Damn it. That's the best news you get. And that. And that kills any fantasy. You might somewhere. You've got a billionaire dad that's gonna fly in on a jet, take you to the mansion. Then you and the butler are gonna.

[Christopher Titus]

Clean up Gotham most of the time. You found out that you're an incestuous baby and your sister gave birth.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, there's more.

[Unknown]

You were married for 20 years. She's my sister.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. Oh, you found out what a slut. There was a friend of mine, owns a comedy club. He found out what a slut. His mom really was. Like, he did the DNA test because his dad. His dad got. The guy thought he was his dad had Lou Gehri's. He went to get the DNA, found out it's not his dad. Mom goes, okay, this is your dad. Goes to that guy. He hangs out with that guy for like a year. They do a test, found out that's not his dad either.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, my God.

[Gina Prion]

At this point, Thanksgiving is intense.

[Christopher Titus]

It's ratcheted up.

[Gina Prion]

Wow. Yeah. And so he. And that. And then he spun out for a minute. He lived for two years. After all this happened, his grown man spun out. Like, he spun out.

[Christopher Titus]

It screws with people's heads.

[Gina Prion]

I just don't want to know. Why would you do your DNA?

[Christopher Titus]

I would want to know. Yeah, but I look at my dad and I'm like, no question about it. We're the exact same thing.

[Gina Prion]

What's the Other side of knowing is no is horror.

[Christopher Titus]

Sure. And I don't mind that.

[Gina Prion]

Again, tell her story.

[Christopher Titus]

I found out my great grandmother was the town prostitute, hooker, whore. More than not. She didn't get paid for it, but she just. She had a lot of babies with a lot of guys. And it never added up to anybody.

[Gina Prion]

I love that you went through the whole town. Wow. She didn't get boom boom. She wasn't a good business. She was good.

[Christopher Titus]

Regina was.

[Gina Prion]

She had a vagina mesh thing fell out. Anyway, she got. Yeah, like, I bet it did. Like you.

[Christopher Titus]

I bet it was like an inside out sock. And every guy that visited, like, she had no way.

[Unknown]

She exercised no way.

[Gina Prion]

Now you working those key. She was Kegelation.

[Christopher Titus]

Grandma Thornberry never stood up. And now I know why. You guys, I learned that I'm today years old and I'm like, I never saw her standing up.

[Gina Prion]

Do you have three socks? Why is it happening?

[Christopher Titus]

One of your stockings is gone really wrong. And I can see. I think it's upside. I'm not sure what that is, but.

[Unknown]

Is that Brunswiger?

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah. If a peppermint stick doesn't come out of it, I'm scared of it. That's either a Christmas mishap or we're.

[Gina Prion]

Calling it, by the way, Grandma and the Christmas Mishap. That is a Horbrook Christmas story.

[Christopher Titus]

It's about her vagina.

[Gina Prion]

And then she got a vagina mesh. And everybody was happy as John Holberg.

[Christopher Titus]

Presents Grandma and the Christmas Mist. And it's all about thinking it's a stocking and getting your hand in there.

[Unknown]

A mistake.

[Gina Prion]

I can't.

[Christopher Titus]

The Christmas mismatch. I need an animator. I've written a script.

[Gina Prion]

I'm already on act two. I'm already working on act two. I got this. Oh, God.

[Christopher Titus]

I think I. And we got time. It's June. We can get this out by Thanksgiving.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God.

[Gina Prion]

Oh.

[Christopher Titus]

With AI.

[Gina Prion]

We both shredded our grandmothers today. Like. Like, that's. I come on the show. Yeah, exactly. The funny thing about my Grandma Titus. So I did that bit at one of my specials. Carrie Mossard. I do a bit about Grandma Titus because I didn't really know you. I don't. I never knew until I met my. My wife's grandmother, who was like the perfect grandma. And yet she was awesome. And she was the most grandmothery person. Found out that when she was 19, she actually went to New York and had another baby. And then they put her up for adoption. And that guy came back into her life and he's the best guy ever. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

The baby or the guy she had it with?

[Gina Prion]

The guy she had it with. She can't. It was a dude she was a musician she met in a club in New York, and they can't find the guy. They don't know who the guy is. So this guy, Uncle Philip, who's the best human being? Him and his wife. But he kept. He was really damaged about it, and then he. Grandma fixed it, and it was really cool.

[Christopher Titus]

Wow.

[Gina Prion]

So I didn't know what grandma was, and so I did the bit. My aunt came to my show. Her. Her daughter came to one of my shows, and I did the bit. And. And we're driving back home and just quiet. We're just driving back. And the show went well. And she goes, you know, my mom really could have done different stuff. She could have done it different. And. And I.

[Christopher Titus]

Which is crazy.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah. What I love is that, like, some people think that my comedy, when it's harsh on my family, is I made it up.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

You know?

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

Like I'm being Rickles. And it's.

[Christopher Titus]

You can't do that. You can't make up. Because when you see your show, you're like, that can't be made up. Maybe embellished, but not exaggerated.

[Gina Prion]

Oh, I went to therapy recently. My wife and I went through some stuff, and so we went through couples therapy. And I told the therapy. I was kind of listing the bits I did in carrying monsters. About being left in an airport when I was 4, about hitchhiking when I was 11 and getting on a plane.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

And because I ran away. I really ran away.

[Christopher Titus]

And the therapist.

[Gina Prion]

And I look over at one point. Yeah. The therapist is just looking at me like, this. Is this happened? No, I just thought I'd come in. Riff.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

I just. I'm not doing. I'm doing improv stuff. Trying to Just try to. Am I beating everybody? Am I the best now? Because I've given you the worst.

[Christopher Titus]

I'm the winner.

[Gina Prion]

You're going to charge me Fighting with my dad in the kitchen at 60. I know that's not normal.

[Christopher Titus]

Oh, my God.

[Gina Prion]

It's interesting how when you tell your real true story and the therapist who deals with everybody all the time goes, no.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

I don't even know. You can't. Yeah.

[Christopher Titus]

They haven't written.

[Gina Prion]

You should go on the radio with these guys because. Let me. I found something with a rosebud and I need therapy just to. Just to get it out of my head now, which you can Never. Get it out of your head now.

[Christopher Titus]

No, no, I want you to see it. It's forever seen, fossilized. Do you believe since your grandparents are passed and stuff, do you believe they see you? Like, I always find it hysterical when they're like, oh, I know they're looking down on me now.

[Gina Prion]

I love that Carlin bit. Looking.

[Christopher Titus]

I haven't seen that.

[Gina Prion]

Carlin does a whole bit about the looking down, which means they're up.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah.

[Gina Prion]

Like. Yeah, I don't. I don't have that. I have a spirituality. Believing the universe is kind of only because I've made stuff happen by saying it happening and creating the energy in it. I guess I don't have this whole thing where someone's watching over me.

[Christopher Titus]

Wouldn't it be like the most.

[Gina Prion]

Because I've done some things that no one will ever know about. Right. If someone's watching over me, I would trip a lot more. I'd fall down a lot more.

[Unknown]

I wish, kid. I was saying, don't look now. Yeah, Right now.

[Christopher Titus]

I don't. Yeah. Like Brad's filming you.

[Unknown]

Something here that you're going to.

[Christopher Titus]

You're not going to want to start jerking right now or anything. You're being lost. They're gonna take a dump.

[Gina Prion]

I was raised by my father. No, there's some. No, I'm just saying we all have. We all have one or two things in their life, you know, a long time ago that you just. You've done.

[Christopher Titus]

What's one thing that if it is.

[Gina Prion]

I'm not telling you. Yeah, we never did. There's a reason I haven't told it now to anybody in private. I'm gonna now do it on the radio.

[Christopher Titus]

Yeah, Grandpa Titus is up there. Goes. I'm bored.

[Gina Prion]

What's Christopher doing?

[Christopher Titus]

Turn it to Christopher. And they turn on the Christopher tv and there you are on the show. Hour.

[Gina Prion]

Interesting. The Christopher tv. Like heaven has. Like, they have a channel of all their relatives. The relative Christopher, he's doing reality. Click, click, click. Depending on what era you're born.

[Christopher Titus]

It's the tv and you're just like I always say, like, I've got a Kaiser helmet on. I got a thumb in my ass.

[Gina Prion]

I'm so proud.

[Christopher Titus]

There he. Oh, boy.

[Gina Prion]

Well, I guess he's not going to. We're not going to see him again.

[Christopher Titus]

Is it a rerun?

[Gina Prion]

N. He's just doing it again.

[Christopher Titus]

It's always Christopher Titus is at the Desert Ridge Improv tonight. And stand up live. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Desertridgeimprov.com standuplive.com gonna do the entertainment drill. You get to help out with.

[Gina Prion]

I've been damaged today.

[Christopher Titus]

No, you came in there.

[Gina Prion]

Yeah, that's true. I did join in. You can't complain.

[Christopher Titus]

It was double Dutch. And you're like, I'm next. It's 9:43. Christopher Titus is here. The entertainment drill is next.

[Gina Prion]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[Christopher Titus]

I have heard enough of this.