06-09-25 - BR - MON - Greta Thunberg's Sailboat Has Been Seized By Israeli Forces - Grandparent Showers Are A New Trend We're Against - Food News Wendys Bacon To Be Available In Stores Soon

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Release Date: June 9, 2025
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Podcast: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

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Introduction

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show, host John Holmberg, alongside co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, delves into a mix of current events, trending topics, and lighthearted discussions. Focusing on Greta Thunberg's recent maritime adventure, the controversial rise of grandparent showers, and exciting food news about Wendy's bacon, the team delivers their signature blend of humor and commentary.

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Greta Thunberg's Sailboat Seizure by Israeli Forces

The episode kicks off with a heated discussion about climate activist Greta Thunberg, whom John Holmberg mockingly refers to as the "Swedish doom goblin." Thunberg's recent attempt to deliver humanitarian aid by sailing to Gaza was intercepted by Israeli forces, leading to her authorization and that of her crew being forcibly turned back.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [06:08]: “I was very happy to see that Greta Thunberg has been captured. The Swedish doom goblin has been...”
• Brady Bogen [06:21]: “Here she is yelling and I am from Sweden. If you see this video, we have been intercepted and kidnapped in international waters by the Israeli occupational forces...”

The team satirizes Thunberg's mission, suggesting her efforts are more about personal adventure than genuine humanitarianism. They humorously speculate on her next moves, imagining grander and more absurd plans, such as sailing to the Caribbean post-hurricane season or even utilizing a drone for her missions.

Key Points:

• Greta Thunberg aimed to deliver humanitarian aid to Gaza but was intercepted by Israeli forces.
• The team criticizes and ridicules her motives and methods.
• Speculation on Thunberg's future endeavors includes exaggerated and humorous scenarios.

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Grandparent Showers: A New Trend Opposed by the Hosts

Shifting gears, the hosts engage in a spirited debate about the emerging trend of grandparent (or grandbaby) showers. They express strong opposition, arguing that celebrating the impending arrival of a grandchild before the baby is born is unnecessary and overblown.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [21:32]: “There's apparently a new trend of baby showers. You ready for this? Grandma showers or grandbaby showers?”
• John Holmberg [21:49]: “I gotta buy them presents. Yeah. No.”

John Holmberg humorously contends that such celebrations are excessive, comparing the act of having a baby to routine medical procedures and suggesting that societal emphasis on these events is misguided. The conversation highlights differing perspectives on when and how to celebrate new life within families.

Key Points:

• Introduction of grandparent showers as a new societal trend.
• Hosts critique the necessity and timing of celebrating grandparent milestones.
• Emphasis on the natural process of childbirth without overemphasis on pre-birth celebrations.

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Food News: Wendy’s Bacon Now Available in Stores

In the food segment, the hosts share exciting news for bacon enthusiasts: Wendy's bacon will soon be available for purchase at Kroger stores. This news sparks a lighthearted debate about the distinct taste of Wendy's bacon and its availability to the general public.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [27:35]: “And some exciting news tomorrow, boys. The S' Mores McFlurry hits McDonald's.”
• Dick Toledo [28:09]: “Let's have a bacon taste off.”

Key Points:

• Announcement of Wendy's bacon being packaged and sold in Kroger stores.
• Discussion on whether consumers can distinguish Wendy's bacon from other brands.
• Plans for a humorous "bacon taste off" among the hosts to test the claim.

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NHL Betting Statistics and Game Highlights

Brady Bogen introduces the Brady Report segment, sharing intriguing betting statistics related to the NHL. The hosts discuss the national composition of NHL players, noting a significant decrease in Canadian players and a rise in American and other nationalities over the years.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [13:09]: “Until the end. Up until the mid-1970s, at least 90% of NHL players were Canadian. Now it's down to 44%. 27% are American. 10% are Swedish, 7% are Russian.”

Key Points:

• Historical decline of Canadian players in the NHL from 90% to 44%.
• Current representation includes 27% American, 10% Swedish, and 7% Russian players.
• Discussion on betting trends and the impact of teams' travel schedules on their performance.

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National Meal Prep Day Discussion

Celebrating National Meal Prep Day, the hosts engage in a humorous and somewhat critical discussion about the trend of meal prepping. They explore varying definitions and personal interpretations of meal prep, highlighting its practicality and varying levels of commitment among individuals.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [11:16]: “That's it. You don't finish them. You don't cook them, just prepare them and put them away.”
• Brady Bogen [11:46]: “Got a couple of space fun facts. Warren Buffett and Jimmy Buffett baseless Fun facts.”

Key Points:

• Differing views on what constitutes meal prepping.
• Practical benefits of preparing meals in advance for the week.
• Lighthearted banter on the necessity and effectiveness of meal prepping.

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Egg Recall Due to Salmonella Outbreak

The episode also touches on a significant health concern regarding a multi-state salmonella outbreak linked to certain egg products. The CDC has recalled over 1.7 million eggs, specifically targeting brown, cage-free, and certified organic eggs, with Arizona being one of the affected states.

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen [26:37]: “At least 1.7 million eggs have been recalled by the CDC. And the FDA is investigating. It's a multi-state salmonella outbreak.”

Key Points:

• Details of the salmonella outbreak and the affected egg products.
• Statistics on the number of individuals affected and hospitalization rates.
• Emphasis on safety measures and recalls to prevent further illnesses.

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Listener Interaction and Fun Segments

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in humorous exchanges and playful banter, including discussions about potential James Bond actors, quirky fun facts, and amusing personal anecdotes. These segments are designed to entertain and connect with the audience on a lighter note.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [16:53]: “Adam West would have been solid as Bond.”
• Brady Bogen [12:20]: “More than 30 million people in China live in caves.”

Key Points:

• Speculation on alternative actors for the James Bond franchise.
• Sharing of amusing and often exaggerated fun facts.
• Lighthearted debates on various trivial topics to entertain listeners.

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Conclusion

In this episode, Holmberg's Morning Sickness successfully blends current events with comedic commentary, providing listeners with a mix of informative and entertaining content. From critiquing environmental activism to dissecting new social trends and sharing food industry updates, the hosts maintain a dynamic and engaging atmosphere throughout their morning broadcast.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements, promotional segments, and non-content sections as per the provided guidelines.

Transcript

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Byron]

Hey, Byron, I was looking at mmpguns.com's website. You have everything and the prices are incredible.

[Doug Hopkins]

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[Byron]

Wait, there's no backorders?

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Doug Hopkins]

We work with all our distributors, so what you see on our site is what's actually available. We ship all over the country, so we're not just for Arizona Stonens anymore. If the firearm you want is legal in your state, we can get it to a dealer for you to pick up.

[Byron]

Sounds simple. That's why I always go to mmpguns.com.

[John Holmberg]

Prestige Billiards has everything you need for your game room, from top of the line pool tables to billiard balls and everything in between. This includes game room furniture, air hockey dartboards, ping pong tables, arcade games and much more. Prestige Billiards is family owned and operated and is dedicated to providing the very best quality products and service. Prestige Billiards has five star ratings on Yelp and financing is available. Check them [e-mail] or or in person at one of their three locations in Mesa, Scottsdale, and now Glendale. Prestige Billiards delivers statewide. And tell him John Holberg sent you. Who brought the beef jerky, by the way? Who? Toledo Diddy. God damn. Have you had it purchased?

[Byron]

Actually, but Toledo didn't shop.

[John Holmberg]

Easy. Can't stop. You got to keep that stuff away from me. It's good. Before we get to the Brady Report, we also have to let you know that this is the last week are we doing man cave up until Wednesday when we do our final qualifiers?

[Brady]

It's not in the book of 100.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it doesn't that doesn't give you any information. I think we go through Wednesday, but either way we'll give you that word. I'm pretty sure.

[Brady]

Sounds about right.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's right.

[Byron]

Let's see if it's listed in the be creative.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right? I don't know how many we have now. We do. Five finalists.

[Byron]

Toledo's the only one knows what's going on.

[John Holmberg]

He's not coming in. My intercom's not working. And we got a call.

[Byron]

Apparently we're. It looks like we got a qualified.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know we do. I know we do it. I just didn't know if it was. Are we just through Wednesday? Oh, he's trying to find out. Oh, yeah, there's no doubt he doesn't know either. But I'm pretty sure it's just a Wednesday. So we're gonna give you a word today. Don't worry about it. But I think we only have a couple more days is what I was getting at. Took a long way to get there. But a couple more days until you can qualify for the man cave upgrade from our friends at prestige billiards. And twin peaks is in on this thing. The wise floor coverings, which is the coolest that people are asking about that one more than anything else. And I know, I know, meathead, you're giving away a savannah pool table and a ping pong conversion top air hockey table, a charcoal smoker. That's all coming from Prestige Billy's Twin Peaks $200 gift card. But the wise coatings, the garage floor coating, everybody's like, ooh, that's me. That's man's stuff. For some reason, dudes get excited about that. I need that. And then game, game day. Men's health is given a thousand dollar gifts gift certificate away for their stuff too. You're getting a lot of stuff with that floor coated.

[Brady]

It's a man package.

[John Holmberg]

And the man package, the man cave upgrade. Qualify today and get $50 worth of meat if you want it. Gift certificate from Vaughn Hansen's meat and Spirits. That happens as well. So ready with that before we get to the radio report. Also just want to say I was very happy to see that Greta Thunberg has been captured. The Swedish doom goblin has been. Well, yeah. Israel said you're not going anywhere with this powdered milk that you think she's got a shirt that says ship to Gaza. She's, you know, to her credit was sailing to Gaza and when she got close to the Palestinian, like I guess they call it the Territory that you're not allowed to cross. Israel went over a nabd Swedish doom goblin. She has been captured by the Israelis. Her freedom flotilla coalition has been stopped in international waters. And the military estate of the interception was part of enforcement measures related to its long standing blockade of Gaza. So she thought she'd sail right through. The Swedish doom goblin could sail right into Palestine and start handing out milk and stuff. Because that's what she had. Humanitarian aid, which is baby formula and medical supplies. But Israel's like, turn it around, sister. Feeding further into my theory that all Greta Thunberg is doing is sailing around the world. She knew she wasn't getting to that.

[Brady]

Well, then we're going to try it the other way.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Yeah, we're going to come up from Johannesburg. She's gonna float all the way up. I hope Somali pirates eater get hit on that one. She's gonna. She's gonna dick around in that sailboat and one of these times it's gonna get real. But I'm pretty sure all she just did for the last. What's it been, a week? It was a nice week. Long cruise. Sailed the coast of Europe, down Spain. Got some beauty in that. You know that area around.

[Brady]

They got places.

[John Holmberg]

What is that, Algeria? I don't know. Albania. She rolls over, knocks in. I was like, all right, there's Palestine. I guess we'll just. Oh, what we got to stop and go back. Darn. Well, we tried. Sounds like a beautiful boat ride to me. Is all. Swedish doom goblin. And then they put out the freedom float flotilla collision, which sounds beautiful. Put the doom goblin out. Said the volunteers on the Madlene have been kidnapped by Israeli forces. Greta Thunberg is a Swedish citizen. Pressure their foreign ministries to help keep them safe. They're not going to do anything of that Dune goblin.

[Brady]

Here she is yelling and I am from Sweden. If you see this video, we have been intercepted and kidnapped in international waters by the Israeli occupational forces or forces that support Israel.

[John Holmberg]

You got turned around.

[Brady]

All my friends, family and comrades.

[John Holmberg]

Comrades. Interesting choice of words there.

[Brady]

To release me and the others as soon as possible.

[John Holmberg]

You're not a victim.

[Brady]

They're gonna detain them for a while.

[John Holmberg]

They're gonna turn them around. Turn this goddamn sailboat around. Oh, does this mean we have to float back up the European coast all the way, for instance, Spain and France and all the beautiful places. Yeah, yeah. That's where you gotta go. Oh, this is terrible what you're doing to us. Okay, doom goblin, at least take our.

[Brady]

Pot of milk here.

[John Holmberg]

Give this to the babies of Palestine. You gotta turn it around, Doom Goblin. And she does. And they're like we did it. A free trip down the coastline.

[Byron]

The Charl get arrested too.

[John Holmberg]

What's to borrow in on her?

[Byron]

Because you know. Cause you know, that's what.

[John Holmberg]

Who's on there with her on the lava? Oh yeah, yeah. Dick Van Patten and Charo. Eric Estrada. Don Knotts very special guest. Good week.

[Brady]

They're all rolling off the ship on.

[John Holmberg]

The Dune Goblins boat, the Madeleine. Well, Captain, sure I'm here to meet a nice young Swedish girl. We've got you covered, Mr. Knotts. Well, I'll be in my world. Gopher will take you over to the dune quarter.

[Brady]

Everything was fine until I found Julie's cocaine.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they had a lot of cocaine on the doll. That's probably why the doc was on cocaine too. But he was the supplier. Greta, you gotta loosen up. These. These guys aren't gonna like you cause you're a little too uptight. But the world is collapsing all around us. All you want to do is sail it. Hey baby. I introduce you to my friend Don Knotts. Hey Greta, doing a great job. Got a hot date with on Thurberg. Get a little global warming down south. Doom Goblin. Anyway, she's been kidnapped, she said, by Israeli forces. Essentially they're like turn. That's all you heard. Would the stupid boat please turn around? Thank you. That's all. That's all the Jews. All adult authoritarian Jews sound like that. Please shalom and please turn around. We have no time for this. Notice how I said have Doom Goblin. You're just wasting everybody's time. Israel's now got a boat that's gotta watch him float the other direction for a while. The doom Goblin comes up with another plan. She's like a Batman villain. What amazing location will the doom Goblin hit next? My guess is. My guess we won't hear from her again until hurricane season. And then she's going to hang around the Caribbean after all the hurricanes blow through and hand out milk and stuff.

[Brady]

And she's going to float over in a drone. Over the Ukraine or.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's too much. Oh, that's. Those have batteries and stuff. Freddie, are you crazy? She's sailing the world now. She's not going to Ukraine in a drone. That's not the vacation that she's got in mind.

[Byron]

She just Ukraine for vacation.

[John Holmberg]

She's going to get in her beautiful boat and she's going to float over to the Caribbean after a hurric stay where the thing didn't hit and she'll be on TV where there's like, she's.

[Brady]

Down with the batteries anyway.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no, Brady. She's sailing the earth. Yeah, this is a big, long trip on the Love Boat. The Dune goblins Love Boat Earth is dying.

[Brady]

Go float up north and save a polar bear.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it'd be great. Float up north and hit that titanic iceberg. That thing's still probably hanging around. Wouldn't that be ironic if ice killed her? All that global warming talk and stuff. And died in icy waters? That's good one right there. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report is brought to you by our friends at all Pro Shade Concepts. And keep in mind, everything I say today. Please don't complain. First off, it'll cost me a fortune. Second, I'm high as I can possibly be on Mucinex and Benadryl right now. I think that fixes what's wrong with me. It was Covid on Friday. It wasn't Covid yesterday. But there's a lot of thoughts going through my head with goblins and dragons and things. So please give me, give me grace for 24 hours or I'll get charged. All Pro Shade Concepts, Arizona's best patio shades. 20 years of shade means two decades of quality, custom installed patio shades, awnings and sunscreens. That's what they got for you. If you want it. They can help you out. It's 109 degrees today. You'll be looking for shade. You'd already have it if you'd gone to allprochades.com Brady reported.

[Brady]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Brady]

Happy national meal prep day.

[John Holmberg]

Don't finish it.

[Brady]

You just prep your meals.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. You don't finish them. You don't cook them, just prepare them and put them away.

[Toledo]

Yep, you cook them. You just refrigerate them.

[John Holmberg]

I thought meal prep was getting all the ingredients chopped up and ready to go for when you're gonna cook them.

[Toledo]

You're thinking like a restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I think this is basically putting together. You cook it and put it together. You prep the meal, they prep it.

[Byron]

For the whole week.

[Toledo]

Make your meals for the whole week. That way you just take out the Tupperware and you go, don't.

[John Holmberg]

People who do that, they don't need a day like this isn't going to like they already do it.

[Brady]

Got a couple of space fun facts. Warren Buffett and Jimmy Buffett baseless Fun facts.

[John Holmberg]

Say that was very meta. That got deep.

[Brady]

Warren Buffett and Jimmy Buffett once took a DNA test to see if they were related. Results came back negative.

[Byron]

That's obvious.

[John Holmberg]

God, I couldn't take it.

[Brady]

Refer to each other as Uncle Warren and Cousin Jimmy.

[John Holmberg]

No, they don't.

[Toledo]

Yeah, one of them doesn't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they do not refer to them. They don't do that at all.

[Brady]

More than 30 million people in China live in caves.

[John Holmberg]

That's fake. That's American propaganda.

[Toledo]

That seems heavy.

[John Holmberg]

You say 30 million. 30 million New York plus New England lives in. We're talking about all of California living in caves.

[Byron]

Is there that many caves?

[John Holmberg]

China? I don't know. I'm not real familiar with the cave system. Topography maybe, but you'd think there'd be 30 million really pissed off Chinese getting together eventually. And I still. They're outnumbered pretty heavily.

[Brady]

Could be a nice setup. I don't think so, though.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either. 30 million. They wouldn't let that number out.

[Brady]

Until the end. Up until the mid-1970s, at least 90% of NHL players were Canadian. Now it's down to 44%. 27% are American. 10% are Swedish, 7% are Russian.

[John Holmberg]

Got a hell of a game on your hands there, man. The Stanley Cup's been a blast. Two overtime games. I mean, it's just been absolutely great. And again, there's a little betting stat that's coming up here, right? We're 11 as it stands, correct?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

It goes down to Florida. Now, Florida has a game, I believe, tonight, and then the next one is Thursday. That means these little podunk hillbillies, 20 somethings from Edmonton, get two free nights in Miami. Brett's gonna die. Get two free nights down in my allergies, there is a true betting statistic that Scottsdale and Miami are undefeated. When a road team has to stay there more than one day, they find stuff to do. They end up getting into a club or doing something dumb and they get wobbly. If Edmonton pulls off a miracle win here and goes. Was it 20 or is it 11111? Yeah. If they pull off this miracle win here and go up 2 1, they're gonna party. They're in Miami. They're going to the beach.

[Byron]

I'm looking at FanDuel right now.

[Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here and it's time once again for this week's pick of the litter brought to you by our friends at Turf Monsters. Turf Monsters Az Web I got to meet this week's pick of the litter at Lost Her Home Pet Rescue and it is a six month old hound mix named Dexter. And Dexter has two sisters with him as well. You got a bad family, you got trouble at home. Dexter will fix it. He's going to make your house feel great and they'll waive the adoption fees if you get them. Lost our home.org is where you go or 98kupd.com it's this week's pick of the litter. It's Dexter Homburg's morning sickness. Game four is the one to watch. See if that stat holds up because they've got two nights off in Miami. Scottsdale. Miami. They stopped in the NBA. They used to go, all right, we'll do a stay here and then we'll fly. Or you had back to backs. Portland had two games here on two nights with a game a day in between. Third night I think they scored 68 points.

[Brady]

Best road trip ever.

[John Holmberg]

The Scottsdale whores took care of business for the Suns. Suns didn't have to do anything.

[Brady]

Clint Eastwood, Burt Reynolds, Adam west and Liam Neeson were all offered the role of James Bond but turned it down.

[Toledo]

Adam west would have been solid as Bond.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, sorry I'm writing the word down. I spelled it wrong the first time. This is the correct one. I'm circling it there you go. Sure. Shaken not stirred, old chum. He needs his music, though.

[Toledo]

Gotcha.

[John Holmberg]

That would have had to have been like a special Adam west moment. It couldn't have been. He would have been a bad Bond. I think all those guys you just mentioned would have been Clint Eastwood. Maybe not so much Bert. A little Neeson Reynolds. Neeson might have been great now. He might have been great in his peak. He could have been.

[Brady]

He's the closest one.

[John Holmberg]

I think he would be one.

[Brady]

I believe it could be an MI6.

[John Holmberg]

I'm all in on the Idris Elba thing. I think he'd be awesome. Although the family says Bond is white and a man because they didn't want it to go. All woke, but I think Idris Elba.

[Brady]

The Broccoli's are going nuts.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if it's the Broccoli's or the other ones. The Broccoli's. Did they. Fleming, Fleming. Fleming, yeah. Fleming's a writer. Broccoli directed it.

[Brady]

But they're the ones that.

[John Holmberg]

I thought everybody was trolls of the.

[Byron]

Movie, but now it's Amazon. I think they bought it.

[John Holmberg]

So they can do anything they want. All right, ready? Toledo?

[Toledo]

No.

[John Holmberg]

No. All right, hold on.

[Toledo]

Getting close. Give me two minutes.

[John Holmberg]

All right, go.

[Brady]

A survey of people that basically the question was, have you ever had the goal of visiting all 50 US states? So they polled people to see how many was done. 16% of Americans say they've been to 30 or more states.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'm probably there.

[Brady]

I went down the line. I. I hit, I think right at 30 or 31.

[John Holmberg]

How are you gonna be close?

[Brady]

Another 16% said between 16 and 29. 28% said they've been to 10 to 19 states. 22%. 9. 5 to 9. But 5% of the adult survey have never been to.

[Toledo]

Never left their own state.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

5% have just stayed in the same place. Never left.

[Byron]

I think I'm about 20.

[John Holmberg]

Weird. Yeah, I've hit that Midwest real hard. I got all of those. The only place I haven't really been is the south and maybe like Dakota. Montana. Not been up there.

[Brady]

Been the one. One Dakota.

[John Holmberg]

One of the Dakotas.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I haven't done that. Yeah. I'm probably right around 25 or 30 though.

[Byron]

Now I'm pulling up a map just.

[John Holmberg]

To counter space up in that area.

[Brady]

Another new poll asked people what foods they think are best with sauce. It found that the average person has eight kinds of sauce in their fridge.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

Brady, think about it.

[John Holmberg]

What's Your average.

[Toledo]

Oh, they're all your own, so you've only got five.

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, you got ketchup, barbecue mustard.

[Toledo]

Oh, those.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That counts.

[Brady]

Those are sauces.

[John Holmberg]

Mustard's not a sauce. It's a condiment. Like, you wouldn't have. Mustard dip.

[Brady]

Buffalo ranch.

[John Holmberg]

That's a sauce. Ranch is a condiment. Ranch is kind of a sauce.

[Brady]

There.

[Toledo]

Good to go before.

[John Holmberg]

There you go.

[Brady]

Here's some weird combos people put together. French fries with tartar sauce.

[Toledo]

That's a bigger thing in Washington. Yeah.

[Brady]

Scrambled eggs and barbecue sauce. Pickles with buffalo sauce. Ramen noodles with ranch.

[Byron]

I put ranch on anything.

[John Holmberg]

He just burped out puke. That's not food, you weirdos. Ribs. College kids will eat. Whatever. All right. The word for today, because I just like saying it. Toon bug. Toon Bug the doom goblin. The last name of Greta Thunberg. You have to spell it properly. I always say it like hillbilly, but it's toon bug. There's Apparently a new 97936 is the number you got to text that Thunberg. It's really how you'd say it as a real one. And, Greg, get Greta's last name in there. She's been kidnapped by the Israelis, and let's hope they never let her go. 97936. That's what you text. You've got an hour to do it. You'll figure it out. You'll get the little response back, and you might be the one Toledo calls later to make you today's qualifier. All right, good luck. Go ahead.

[Brady]

There's apparently a new trend of baby showers. You ready for this? Grandma showers or grandbaby showers?

[John Holmberg]

Grandmothers having babies?

[Brady]

No, they're honoring grandma grandparents for having their first grandbaby.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta buy them presents. Yeah. No.

[Toledo]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

No. I'll pat him on the back. Hey, congrats. What do they need?

[Brady]

Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Like, they're probably in their late 50s at the. Unless they're Mexican. They're in their 30s. But I'm like, come on, you give them a meal voucher. They like that. Like an early bird. The only thing you'd get them are joke gifts like, number one, granddad at Walgreens or. Or Walker or diapers or something like that. That's going to be just. That's not going to be a load of serious presents. Chicks. You got to stop with these parties. Having a baby is. I'm going to say it again. It's going to make you mad. Absolutely. No big deal. Eight billion times it's happened on the planet currently countless amount of times before that. It's easier today than ever to be pregnant and make a child. It's simple. Raising one, totally different. But giving birth is the most overblown, insane like it's not. It's a medical procedure. Might as well be getting your appendix out. Nobody's worried about you. You're just fine. You're inconvenienced for a while, but you chose to be. It's no big deal. You don't deserve a party for it. Five times. Once. And here's the reason why. Oh, Uncle John's gonna make everybody mad again. Brett, you gotta make sure that thing makes it through the SIDS years before we celebrate it being here. I'm telling you, there's nothing worse than going to Brady's.

[Brady]

Been saying you hold off. For how long?

[John Holmberg]

18 months.

[Brady]

18 months. Wow.

[Byron]

And fingers crossed that's more than Brady's wedding present timeline. They're giving you six months.

[John Holmberg]

Look, Brady, I'm liking this rule in your. Brady's gonna love this. In your Bible they had that census and don't count the babies because they very rarely made it. Most of them make it, but I'm saying you don't get five parties and then SIDS or worse still comes out sideways. Messed that up. You can't have all these pre parties until it's. Until it's actually functioning.

[Toledo]

Shelf barely knows it's having a party until three. It's just when it's three, it happens. You have memories of when you were three.

[John Holmberg]

I have memories after I broke my leg at two.

[Toledo]

Or leg.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Here's the thing. I'm not really like birthday presents. Like walking around in a cast is a core memory of mine was too. Learning to walk with a cast on ain't easy. But yeah, I say you go about 18 months before you have that. You have that first party saying, yay, we're pregnant. Then you get through the struggles. I don't know. I don't know what to compare it to, but there's like a. There's got to be a grace period. Like, all right, we're through the tough times. Now you can almost like medical school. You got out of college, now you got to go now it's real. I don't want to hear from. I've been. Brady's been to one terrible party for a baby that didn't make it right.

[Brady]

That was a funeral.

[John Holmberg]

No, I know you went to the funeral. That's what I'm saying. But all those people.

[Brady]

It Was a tough celebration of life.

[John Holmberg]

I'll tell you this, Brady. Yeah. There wasn't one celebration of like 11 and a half minutes. It's celebration of a vine. They don't have vines anymore. Six second babies. That's what I call those babies. The ones that don't make it long. Vine babies. But all those women that were at that funeral you were at about two months earlier. We're at a shower. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Six months.

[John Holmberg]

If it was six.

[Brady]

Yeah. They do it pretty early.

[John Holmberg]

Did it go to term?

[Brady]

I don't think they do it in three months. They barely announce it.

[Toledo]

Three months because they. They what he's talking about. They don't want to announce it at three months until they know it's viable.

[Brady]

I guess it would be like a.

[John Holmberg]

Month or two before the body doesn't reject it. Yeah. I didn't really celebrate my hip replacement until my body didn't infect it and like accepted it. I didn't have any parties where he got me gifts in case I had to go back under the knife. Just saying, ladies, this childbirth thing.

[Brady]

I made Ronnie go out a week after we found out. Get out there. Let's get.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get some prize.

[Brady]

We can.

[John Holmberg]

But grandma source, dad getting time off, baby moons. All this is nonsense.

[Brady]

It's ridiculous.

[Byron]

The best part having no kids is you get less invites to that crap.

[John Holmberg]

So. Because they know. Yeah.

[Byron]

You hate kids. I know, but I've still gotten some. I'm like, come on.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

To baby showers?

[Byron]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think I've ever been invited. Baby shower.

[Toledo]

That's more for women. They're.

[Byron]

They do the co ed ones.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Toledo]

They're inviting your wife and they hope.

[Brady]

Couples babies are coming along.

[Byron]

I'll be at the bar.

[John Holmberg]

I'll be somewhere fun. Doing anything with no kids. I'll be rubbing a cheese grater on my inner thigh. It'll be better.

[Brady]

At least 1.7 million eggs have been recalled by the CDC. And. And the FDA is investigating. It's a multi state salmonella outbreak. And we're in that. Arizona is one of the states.

[Toledo]

Hickman. So far they've had to kill off 90% of their chicks.

[John Holmberg]

They had a lot of them.

[Brady]

That's from the bird flu.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

This was a salmonella outbreak. And 79 people across the seven states have been sick. 21 were put in the hospital. No deaths. But they've had to wipe out those eggs and recall them. Basically, it's the brown cage free and brown certified organic eggs.

[John Holmberg]

The white eggs Are created by the August Egg Company.

[Byron]

Start that.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's saying it's all white eggs. White egg power.

[Brady]

Some exciting news tomorrow, boys. The S' Mores McFlurry hits McDonald's.

[John Holmberg]

That is exciting. You're right.

[Brady]

And.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's more. But wait, there's more.

[Brady]

Wendy's bacon heads to Kroger. They are. You can buy. Wendy's is selling their packaged bacon.

[Toledo]

Anyone else pop up in this in their phone?

[John Holmberg]

None. None of this came up on my feed.

[Toledo]

Nothing. Me neither.

[Byron]

I gotta leave now. I gotta get my space in line.

[Nick]

Hi, Brady. What's going on? Shut up, Toledo. I speak for everybody. Hey, real quick.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Nick]

Let's have a bacon taste off.

[Brady]

Baconators.

[Nick]

Yeah, we'll do. No, we'll just get all the bacon from all the places that we love. Which is everywhere that serves bacon.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Nick]

And we'll try to guess which place I like. I think Wendy's bacon probably tastes mysteriously a lot like other bacon.

[Brady]

Yep. They branded it and it's. You're telling me that guys will have it most Kroger.

[Nick]

That's right. Would you know?

[Brady]

Would I know if it's Wendy's bacon?

[Nick]

Fact that you're taking a pause scares me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Nick]

All right.

[Brady]

I don't think so.

[Nick]

Maybe Humberg's right. You might be insane. All right, I gotta go.

[John Holmberg]

Bye.

[Toledo]

Brian Simpson on Friday said that the rosebud tasted like bacon. He'd go after it.

[John Holmberg]

True. What if rosebuds tasted like bacon? Like the best bacon?

[Brady]

It'd be tough.

[John Holmberg]

Would you do it if I blooped out a rosebud right now? Okay.

[Byron]

But it's not just two bald guys in the. In the park.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What if.

[Toledo]

It'S Dick Toledo from Holmberg's Morning Sickness? For Chime, the checking account that helps you manage your money better. Wouldn't it be nice to have a checking account that helps you and not just charges you fees? No one likes being hit with an overdraft fee. And with Chime's Spot Me feature, you'll be covered for up to $200 until your next deposit. Chime will also never charge you a fee or interest when you need that Spot Me coverage. Your Chime account also gets you fee free cash from over 50,000 ATMs. More than the top three banks combined. So move toward a better financial future with Chime and get started [e-mail] Holmberg. You'll open your Chime checking account in two minutes. That's Chime.comberg. chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp NA or Stride Bank NA member is fdic. Spot me. Eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Fees apply at out of network ATMs. MyPay eligibility requirements apply. Credit limits range from 20 to $500. $2 fee applies to get funds instantly. Chime checking account required. Go to Chime.com disclosures for details.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. What if you found that. That. That my rosebud was just the best fat free bacon of all time. It tasted like regular bacon. Zero calories. Would you want me to.

[Brady]

You'd be in trouble.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You'd be.

[Brady]

Back of a pickup.

[Byron]

Bend it over, Chief.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you bloop that thing out? My knees are melting.

[Toledo]

Sexually aggressive Brady for the squares.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna. Your bacon butt.

[Brady]

Had no idea. I mean I. I didn't know that Wendy's is already packaging their patties that you can buy.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either. Maybe that's why Muslims hate gays so much.

[Brady]

Because they know the secret.

[John Holmberg]

They hate bacon a lot over there. They are not bacon fans in that area.

[Brady]

We've had another bounce house catch air. Got up to 40ft. These two kids came out of it. And they survived this.

[John Holmberg]

They fell out.

[Brady]

It happened in a school in South Africa. Yeah. The wind caught it. Bounce house went in the air. And they have a picture. They actually have a.

[John Holmberg]

But the kids fell out of it while it was in the air.

[Brady]

Fell out of it.

[John Holmberg]

And they made it.

[Brady]

They made it. One's got a head injury and the other broke his arm.

[John Holmberg]

Man.

[Brady]

The quick thinking parents at the event formed a human crash pad to break the pupils. The. The two kids that fell break their fall. Pretty good effort. One kid again had a head injury.

[John Holmberg]

Wait. The kid.

[Brady]

Fractured skull.

[John Holmberg]

Had a broken arm laid down in like a mesh blanket.

[Brady]

Yes. So I can't.

[John Holmberg]

And the kids fell on them instead of the ground. Instead of just trying to catch it on my kids.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Byron]

I. I don't be falling.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not laying down. If it isn't mine. I'm not. I'm not gonna let it hit me. I'm not. Kid missing. That's. That's the stupidest plan I've ever heard in my life.

[Brady]

Well, it worked.

[John Holmberg]

Did it? We didn't hear anything about the. The dad who can't walk anymore because kid dart hit him in the face. Yeah.

[Brady]

Any adults were harmed?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

The adults aren't in it.

[John Holmberg]

Terrible.

[Brady]

Well, no, they were.

[John Holmberg]

That's what he said. Pay attention to later I don't know.

[Byron]

If this is the one, but somebody sent me this video over the weekend. I don't know. I don't know if this is the one.

[Toledo]

Yeah, I was just gonna play that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, you're not.

[John Holmberg]

And that's not.

[Toledo]

They just missed the first two. There was others in it, I think.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, it's a far fall, but that's not 40.

[Brady]

Those are the only. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That kid comes shooting out of there, though.

[Toledo]

You need to talk to Jimmy the party dildo. I think he's. Hopefully he secures out better.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he doesn't do anymore. Also, I'm not so sure that's a human shield as it is. Just. The kid fell on a pile of people.

[Brady]

Quick stand.

[John Holmberg]

They were standing there to start, and the kid hit them.

[Brady]

Quick thinking.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the quick thinking. Parents were standing there and blown away.

[Brady]

So many cocktails spilled on that.

[Byron]

It's like someone stage diving at a Slipknot concert. Here they come. I've got nothing to do with this.

[John Holmberg]

That kid might be 15ft up, and he hits the parents at 7. He's good.

[Brady]

25.

[John Holmberg]

Where'd the other one go?

[Brady]

He's. He's on top.

[John Holmberg]

First one. Oh, there he goes. Okay, I see. They gotta work on their measurements. South Africa. That's not 40ft. You see that skydiver that freaked out took her parachute off, unbuckled herself. She's jumping out.

[Brady]

She started or something.

[John Holmberg]

She took her parachute off right in the middle of the thing and then, like, grabbed the foot. Yes.

[Brady]

And it looked more.

[John Holmberg]

But I think it was intentional, but I think it was because her brain went sideways while she was jumping and. And thought that she was. The thing was broken. She tried to get it off. It's weird. There's a video of it. I don't know if you can find it anymore, but. All right, speaking of videos, Brady, here we go.

[Brady]

The. I got four of them.

[John Holmberg]

You missed the one Friday, Rich, because you weren't here.

[Brady]

First one's a car.

[Toledo]

No, I heard it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I heard it.

[Toledo]

I was listening.

[Byron]

First one to you.

[Toledo]

No, no, no, no.

[Brady]

Minivan going into a truck.

[John Holmberg]

All right, watch the spin around. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

There's the driver.

[John Holmberg]

Where? Oh, he's just hanging out of the windshield. Oh, geez. He's okay. Yeah. The whole front of the car's gone to where he sits, and he climbs out.

[Byron]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

He smashes at a thousand miles an hour into the side of a big.

[Byron]

Truck with a DMX in the background, too.

[John Holmberg]

He's. Did his pants come Off. His pants fell off.

[Byron]

That's because he dropped a load.

[John Holmberg]

I thought it was his pants shot off. It wouldn't surprise me as hard as he hits that truck. Wow. Okay.

[Brady]

A couple of moms racing with their kids in milk crates.

[Toledo]

This could be a grandma shower.

[Brady]

Yeah. I think one kid is basically smeared in the concrete.

[John Holmberg]

They're just pushing. Oh, pushing kids in milk crates. And one of the mom hits a break in the concrete and her. And she falls right on the head of the kid. O. And his head's hanging out of the milk crate. You might have decapitated him.

[Brady]

It was close.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what a terrible idea. In a hilarious. Whatever country that is. They just don't care about kids.

[Brady]

Next one. Corey has nothing.

[John Holmberg]

Thrillers.

[Brady]

Yeah, Thriller.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. This is a big.

[Brady]

That is a giant leg.

[John Holmberg]

Brady has found somebody with a normal body, except their right leg is that of a massive dinosaur.

[Brady]

You know, it's good. She's like, you know, Time to go in and get this checked out.

[John Holmberg]

You're at the hospital and they haven't done a thing. I'd be so disappointed if they told me to come back tomorrow.

[Byron]

And those Jordans are stretched out.

[John Holmberg]

What size shoe do you wear? Well, my left foot is a seven. My right foot is a 62. We cannot ship that through you, for there is no way that Nike.com has that break. You will have to go through another sauce.

[Brady]

Last one's a guy in a cherry picker cutting a big limb off a tree.

[John Holmberg]

What about stuck eggs? No way. Stockx has to have it verified. Your foot is gigantic. You get one Jordan, There's a tree falling down on a house. What Guys in the cherry picker. Oh, and hung him.

[Toledo]

That's a safety harness.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, thank God. Oh, I thought I had him by the neck. Oh, he's okay. This is okay. Where is. Oh, I see some idiot and a cherry picker cutting a tree down the wrong way. I did it myself.

[Toledo]

Yeah, that's not the way you do that.

[Byron]

Way to go, Jethro. Yeah, I told you that wasn't gonna work.

[John Holmberg]

Eight things went wrong with that. You know what, though? That crappy house he lived in didn't get hit, and that's the worst thing that happened.

[Toledo]

Yeah, but the garage did.

[John Holmberg]

Was that. I thought that was his house.

[Byron]

That's the worst thing.

[Toledo]

I think that's a garage. I'm not sure.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure that's where that guy lives. Either way.

[Byron]

Was he Ponzi?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, that's his house. Hey, I can tell one Window? Yeah, one window. I can tell by the truck parked in front of it that he lives there. And the saddest part is, is that the tree didn't crush his house because the cherry picker stopped it.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

Well, he didn't have insurance anyway. Yeah, there's no way that was insured. All right, Brett.

[Byron]

All right. Well, obviously we can't top last week.

[John Holmberg]

No, you could and you might. You never know.

[Byron]

So we'll start out with the. Come on. Start off with this broad.

[John Holmberg]

It's a girl in a bathroom. It's never good. She's next to a toilet. In fact, you're right. Oh, no. She's gonna throw up, I think. Almost forgot to drink something. Oh, she's gonna drink out of the toilet. She's dipping her head into the toilet bowl. She's very cute. Her butt's in the air. Oh, God, no. Oh, she's just drooling it out and eating it again. And it is brown water. It's so good. She's licking the toilet seat. Don't knock it till you try it. I'm knocking it. It's not healthy. All right, but we didn't get to see in the bowl, so it all could be fake. And that's what I'm gonna lean on. I'm going Brady's route on that one.

[Byron]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

If you don't show me the inside of the bowl, I believe you're just playing around with iced tea.

[Byron]

How about this one?

[John Holmberg]

That's what I have to do. All right. There's a naked girl. Her friends are in the background. Oh, what's she doing below? Looks like she's eating a shrimp. Or put her whole fist in her mouth. What's she doing? Put her fist in her mouth all the way to her wrist. All right. She's crossing her eyes cuz her whole hand is down in her throat. Well, that's interesting. You got her whole. All of it all the way down there.

[Byron]

And this one, I just. I don't even know.

[Brady]

I think she was at a restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she looked. Was she even just eating?

[Byron]

She had Perkins or something. Let's see.

[Brady]

There's the bench in the background. There's a seat, but then there's.

[John Holmberg]

I think she might be at the pedicle. There is a bench back there. He's right.

[Byron]

It looks like there's a little menu there on the.

[John Holmberg]

No, top on. She looks like she's in an office chair, though. This is be a really strange situation. Brady's right. And I'm gonna believe because There's a little tabletoper there. Brady can spot a restaurant faster than any of them.

[Brady]

I smell a restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

Even through video. Brady knows when there's a menu nearby.

[Byron]

And this. I don't even know what this is.

[John Holmberg]

All right, all right. There's two ladies on this ground. One's on her side and one's sitting down. And then there's a dude. Oh, Jesus. Pants ripped open and his balls in his B hole are out. And these girls are laying there. And now he's dangling his knees on no P life. Oh, my God. Oh. Oh. Now they're just kicking him in the balls for no reason. Why? What's happening? Why is going on? These hot girls are kicking a guy in his balls in the middle of the road. Why? Why is this thing? Seems kind of gay. I'm with you, Bart. That's it. Well, that's weird. That was the weirdest. I told you.

[Byron]

I didn't know how to even describe that one.

[Brady]

Questions.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing was bad. It was just all so weird. Yeah.

[Brady]

Friday night started off weird.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Huh? Pants split open.

[Brady]

What'd you do this weekend?

[John Holmberg]

My pants opened up. I fell down. Then two hot girls started kicking me in my exposed balls. Not hard, just hard enough to make it bad. I swallowed my arm. Wow. All right, cool. Thuneberg is today's word. 97936 is the text line. Thuneburg, the name of the Swedish doom goblin in the. In the clutches of the Israeli navy as her sailboat has been stopped.

[Toledo]

You want to hear some of the autocorrect?

[John Holmberg]

Hold on. You've heard it here first, by the way. I have said it. My own countrywoman, Goethe Sternberg, is just scamming everybody, telling everybody she's an environmentalist and all she's doing is sailing around the world for free. I've said it before. I'll say it again. If you told me in June I want a trip to sail from Sweden all the way down to Israel, I would take that trip. That's a win. That's a game show win. That's the best prize you're gonna get. And she's doing it in some sort of humanitarian mission bullcrap. And they turned her around before she did that boat. Everybody on there scamming the system. I guarantee you they're eating lobster and laughing, having the time of their lives. Like, are we close to Gaza? That's getting scary. When's Israel gonna stop this? And then they did. They're like, oh, no. Oh. And then she makes a doom goblin video about how they're hurting her. And she's not a victim. All they're gonna do is make her take her stupid sailboat back. She gets another trip out of this.

[Byron]

Turn it around.

[John Holmberg]

Stupid broad hasn't done a thing outside a bark at us and gets free boat rides everywhere. It's time someone called her out. All right. Thunberg, Thunberg, Thunberg, Thunberg. All these ways are ways to help Google it. Just google it. You'll find Greta Doom, goblin, Thunberg. Toon Book 97936 Thuneburg is today's word and you can get qualified for the man cave upgrade. It's 98 KUPD. Yeah, there's a Brady report. It's out of control now. 98 K U PD are you looking.

[Brian]

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